Longdogger_Pete

WHY DID YOU INVITE TIFFANI AND ALEXA OH MY GOD MY HAIR'S A MESS NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MEEEEEE

Nope nope. I have no intention of a Coyote return. I just jotted down what I was thinking about at 4 in the morning. I needed a character to bounce dialogue off of, but wasn't totally sure who the kayfabe authority figures were these days, and even if I did know, I didn't have time to secure proper permissions for in-promo character usage.

"So," said the talent scout, recruiting for the SWF in the southeast United States. "Mister MacDougal. You really want to have this discussion? All right, then. Let's start with what makes you think you're healthy enough to compete again. You're, what, 42 next month? And as I recall, your legs were already in poor shape the last time you were here." Longdogger Pete shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "The legs are fine. I've spent the last eighteen months following a rigorous rehabilitation schedule. I feel good as new." "Your lengthy career has taken its toll on you," said the scout. "Without surgery, you'll never be 100% pain free. Surely you know this." "If I have surgery, my career will be over. I'm not ready to hang it up yet. This is all I have." The scout shook his head. "You're going to have to do better than that. There's a lot more you have to answer for still if you want to be re-employed with this company. Let's back up a bit. Your last employ was with OAOAST, and a truncated stint at that. Just a couple months, it seems. What caused you to leave? Couldn't hack it there?" "On the contrary. OAOAST was fine. Physically, I handled myself very well. But the environment there is very different than it is here. I was a stranger to OAOAST. I didn't have the support of their fans. Not the way I'm used to. This is where I'm more comfortable, where I belong." "I can't say I'm convinced. What makes you think your fans will rally behind you one more time?" Pete grunted. "The loyal fans that remember me will always be behind me. As for the new fans... well, I will win them over the same way I always have. By earning their respect, by competing to the best of my ability, and by carrying myself like a champion." "A champion?" the scout goaded. "You say that now, but it's been many years since you've held any sort of title. Those days seem to be behind you." "I've got what's in here," replied Pete, pointing to his heart. "The rest will come when I earn it." "An ambitious statement. What do you plan to do? And please, don't say you're going to reform X Force 9 one more time. Nobody wants to see that crap resurrected." Pete glared at the scout in disgust. "No. That ship has sailed. Whatever I accomplish will be on my own terms, with no one else's help." "Hmm. Well, I'll be honest, Mister MacDougal. I don't think you have it in you for another run. I really don't." The scout doodled something on a piece of paper on his desk, not saying anything for a moment, lost in thought. Then he looked up at Pete and continued. "But you know something? I'm going to make sure you get hired anyway. Do you know why? Because I love--have always loved--watching you be humiliated. I'm pretty sure I'll get to see it again. I want to watch you fail. I can't wait. And when you do, and you take your last walk out of here, I'm going to be laughing behind you all the way out the door." Pete stood up, nodding, and pointed at the scout. "Good. In that case, I can't wait until I get the chance to shove those words back in your face." Without waiting to be dismissed, he left the scout's office. Kevin Coyote made a check mark on his paper and then smiled to himself. "So be it, then."

Harsh. Two of my *ahem* prouder moments immortalized in the same paragraph. Is it my birthday?

You don't think perhaps we purged it from our memories for a reason?

The first Miami Mayhem match ended with me throwing Triple E off a boat. But it was just a little motorboat.

Yeah, I understand. I'm just saying, when you go shouting things like "X Force Nine is fucking dead!" coupled with "Low Brass, Apostle, etc. is not going to come walking in that door..." I'm just saying, hypothetically of course, that if someone from XF9 *were* to suddenly show up anytime soon, some of those comments may seem a little inflammatory. Not that there's anyone from XF9 kicking around the boards thinking about a comeback. What are the odds, right?

Careful sir... them's fightin' words...

Wildchild. Oh, you mean for me.

Remember when I had Ash Ketchum run over with my car? Good times.

Ah, okay. I would probably consider myself... well... one of those descriptions. Though I wasn't around from the beginning and I don't think we ever met, but I was kicking around in the JL during the latter part of your career. Oh, by the way, hello everyone.

What's an oldhead?

The Diva section is back with no apparent changes. They even have a Daily Diva archived for every day the section was offline. Just like it never left...

But she'll keep her clothes on. Because WWE doesn't have any divas. Right?

So any guesses what happened?

Did they air the divas match? You know, since they don't have divas anymore...

Did all the divas fail the Wellness Testing or something?

No, seriously. Every reference to WWE having women on their roster is gone. No diva pages, they aren't listed on the superstar pages, no women's champion referenced. What the hell?

Somebody go to WWE.com and look around. Look hard. Do they not have divas any more?

I believe they were taken down because of the soon to be released DVD.

I don't know who. Read in the paper this morning that Ellsbury was sent back down after game 2 last night, and Kielty will be activated today.

Mirabelli has already been placed on the DL, and the Red Sox are bringing up Kevin Cash.

And the Sox take a 6-1 lead in the first inning to open the game for Buchholz.

For the record, MLB.com now has Buchholz starting game 1. The Red Sox report that they will clear space for Buchholz prior to the game, and will option him following the game to call up "a reserve outfielder, such as Jacoby Ellsbury." Most likely Ellsbury though Kielty is still a possibility. And I still think Pena's getting DFA'ed today.

That's the rumor, but I don't know what roster moves they'll make to get him on the roster. I think they can shift Donnelly to the 60-day DL, which opens up a spot on the 40 man roster. But from there it gets complicated, especially since they need to make a spot for Kielty by the end of the week or his contract voids. Presumably they send down Lester or DFA one of Hinske or Snyder. Trading Pena is also a possibility. I'm excited to see Buchhholz in the bigs. Baseball America, Baseball Prospecuts and Project Prospect all had him rated ahead of the great Joba. With the exception of Bailey, he's the best pitching prospect in baseball. DFA Pena, call up Buchholz, option Buchholz after the game and call up Kielty. That solves the problem and buys more time to trade Pena. Make no bones about it - if Buchholz comes up it's just for this one game - though it's likely he'll come back in September when rosters are expanded. The other option is to start Tavarez for one of the games. EDIT: And I think the Kielty contract CAN be voided by Kielty at the end of the week if he isn't called up, but I don't think he necessarily has to. It's a given he'd be up by September 1st at the latest.