Mystery Eskimo

JR: Welcome back! You'll be glad to know I'm fine to continue with this broadcast! Jesse: Thank the Lord... CUE: Blackened JR Oh now what!? JESSE You don't listen very well do you JR? He said he's coming out here to show more footage! JR I hope the tape breaks! This is sick! (Bizarro rises from the stage and makes his way to the ring. Fans boo him as he just smiles and eats up all the booing. Bizarro grabs a mic and steps into the ring.) BIZARRO Welcome to another edition of Bizarro World! JR Bizarro World?? His segment has its own name now?? JESSE Yes! Bizarro world is better than Piper's Pit!! BIZARRO Tonight I have a special treat! A Live Feed from Father's home!! Tonight you will get to see Number 13's pathetic state live! Now everyone will have to admit that it's true! So why wait? Let's take you to the house right now! [[The camera turns on and we see Blurricane washing dishes. Father rolls into the scene and looks at the camera. FATHER Greetings. As you can see Number 13 is doing his chores as always. Number 13 will you come over here for a second? (Blurricane walks over to Father and keeps his head down so that he's looking at the floor) FATHER Have you finished cleaning for today? BLURRICANE Yes sir. FATHER Take a walk with me. (Blurricane and Father start to walk as the cameraman follows. Father stops at a basket and reaches down to pick up a shirt.) FATHER Do you see this? You shrunk my favorite shirt! How many times must I tell you to be careful with my clothes!? Come closer! (Blurricane leans forward and Father hauls off and slaps him as hard as he can.) FATHER I was generous enough to give you a home and give you work to pass the time and you still do not do what you are told!? BLURRICANE I'm sorry sir. FATHER You want to go back to The OAOAST don't you? BLURRICANE No sir. FATHER Don't lie to me! I have brought you in front of this camera tonight so that you can tell Bizarro that you are sorry. You tell him that you are sorry and you tell the world that he is the better man! BLURRICANE ....... FATHER Do it! BLURRICANE I am sorry. FATHER And? BLURRICANE You are my superior. I am nothing. FATHER Very good! Now go the the storage room down the hall and get me a new shirt. (Blurricane walks away, but seems confused as where to go. Blurricane goes to open a door, but it's locked) FATHER No!! You're not allowed in there you idiot! The storage room is down the hall! (Father looks back at the camera) You see. He's a fool and every last one of you were fools to ever think that he was anything more! (We cut back to Bizarro who has a big smile on his face.)]] BIZARRO I couldn't agree more Father! He told everyone that he's a loser! You heard him! He said I was the superior and now you have no choice but to believe it! I have proven to you all that.... CUE: Live for the Moment by Darwin’s Waiting Room (The crowd errupts as Shocker comes running into the ring and gets in Bizarro's face.) SHOCKER I've heard enough! Every week you come out here and run your mouth off about how you're perfection, but you couldn't even get the job done against me last week! You resorted to attacking me and the ref with a chair! You seem so set on proving that Blurricane is a loser, but I'd like to see you prove that you really are what you say you are! BIZARRO Whoa buddy who came out on top? I did! When I go into a fight I go in to win or come out on top and if you haven't realized that weapons, chairs, and cheating are just part of the hazzards of wrestling then maybe you aren't cut out for this business. SHOCKER What's the matter? You afraid of fair competition? Or are you trying to hide something? Maybe you're trying to hide the fact that you suck as a wrestler. You can't beat anyone in a straight up wrestling match and it bugs the hell out of you. BIZARRO Maybe you forgot that I've already retired a man in my first match here! You better watch your mouth or you could end up retired too. You want a straight up wrestling match? I'll take you up on that! At AngleSlam.....you and me in a straight up wrestling match. SHOCKER That doesn't prove to me that you won't cheat. That's just your word and quite frankly I don't trust your word. BIZARRO Fine. If I cheat even once then they can suspend me! I don't care! I'll use this opportunity to prove that I am everything that I say that I am! So they can suspend me for as long as they want if I cheat! Then we'll see who's full of it! SHOCKER You're on! (The crowd starts to chant "Shocker" as he leaves the ring. Bizarro flips off the crowd, which draws loud boos.) (Fade out) COMMERCIALS

I have to respect their strength of will but I wonder, how can you be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone if you've never even touched them? Maybe they have a more intellectual connection than I'm used to but simple displays of affection are one of the best parts of a relationship. Good luck to them, at any rate.

NEWBIE MATCH Hybrid vs. “Suicidal” Jay Freeman TV TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Tommy Nguyen vs. Jay Morrison NON-TITLE MATCH English Dragon vs. Tryst MAIN EVENT BEST FUCKING MATCH EVER SPECIAL CALVINBALL MATCH Manson vs Dominic Korgath vs Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs Danny Conklin vs Craig McClennan vs The Apostle

I avoided him like the plague at Glastonbury this year. I do like Coldplay though, so...yeah.

BOOM! Pyros flare, music blares and a packed out crowd goes wild for another episode of the OAOAST's flagship show. We waste no time in cutting to our regular hosts. JR: Good evening and welcome to IntenseZone~! I'm Jim Ross, and I don't have time to introduce Jesse Ventura, we're heading backstage for what can only be described as HELLACIOUS action! ::Scene, Cameraman running down the hallway, the camera jostling around, showing an erratic picture. Teddy Long is ahead on the right a few feet, his earpiece's wire fluttering about, catching what Teddy is saying in reply.:: Teddy: You sure bout that playa? Cmon honky! turn here! ::Cameraman turns to the right, and a door halfway down is open with various OaOasT staff clusered around with frightened looks on their faces...Teddy pushes his way through the crowd and to the door, allowing himself and the cameraman to get in:: Teddy: Damn...playa hata ::The camera, unsteady, turns upwards, catching EMT's working around the General Manager's desk. Shattered upon its top is the remnants of a guitar, and the General Manager of IntenseZone, Damian Gonzalez, whose head to totally covered with a bright red sheen, not exactly what a black man should be wearing.:: TeddY: Hey, Cracka-lacka, what happa? OaOasT Official: Remember that guy Banky? Damian banned him right after that match with Dangerous A...Well, Banky sued D-A, and got a bunch of money. Banky got himself a suit against OaOasT, and he came here to talk...Well, his talking was smashing a guitar over Damian's head and declaring himself the new General Manager...looks like our Board was scared shitless. Teddy: Damn... :: cut back to JR, a blank look on his face :: Jesse: Ahaha! That's great! This should bring some life into things around here! JR: This is an outrage! Dames have been attacked...BAH GAWD, I'm SPEECHLESS! BAH GAWD! SPEECHLESS! SCALDED DAWG! BAH- Jesse: Cut! Cut! We cut. (Parka is seen walking backstage with his Tag Title over his shoulder when he bumps into Bizarro.) BIZARRO Watch where you're going ass! PARKA Who are you? BIZARRO What!? I'm Bizarro Blurricane! The guy who retired everyone's favorite hero! Now move before I'm forced to retire you too! PARKA How are you going to do that? You think I'm afraid of an overgrown kid and a insecure old man? BIZARRO Funny...real funny. That's a nice belt you've got there. (Bizarro touches the belt, but Parka pulls back) PARKA Get your hands off the belt or you and your Father will have matching wheelchairs! BIZARRO Whoa! Let's not get angry now. I have no beef with you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go to the ring to show the world more footage of how pathetic Number 13 is. (Bizarro walks away as Parka looks pissed) COMMERCIALS

Official deadline 15.00 hrs If I've got the timezones right

CHEAT TO WIN~!

Anymore stuff can I have it asap please...

The British version is better. The US show is ok but seems to lack a spark somewhere, I don't know why. Tony Slattery was great. Sadly his career never really went anywhere as he suffered from clinical depression and got himself a cocaine addiction. He's better now though, I believe.

mutant ninja

Good show, great main event. Congrats to Taft. Other than that loss, Urban Decay keeps on rollin'

Yeah, I'm writing a couple of segments for this, I think? Eskimo is in jail so shouldn't be written at the show, of course.

Forest 2 Sunderland 0 Ok, Sunderland are even worse than when they were in the Premiership but still, a good start. Bad luck Derby

cattle

queen

My turn to produce, I think. Submission deadline is Tuesday afternoon.