alfdogg

Written by Alf KC Special Thanks Adam Hoff

Intro JIVIN' JR Welcome to Louisville, Kentucky, and welcome to World Domination Wrestling! I'm Jivin' JR, along with Rick Heyross, and Rick, we've got a visitor tonight! Cut to the crowd, where Thunderkid is seen walking to the front row. HEYROSS I don't like this, JR, not one bit. JR Thunderkid of the OAOAST is in the house, and he's going to have a big announcement concerning the Heartland champion, Felix Strutter, who will be in action tonight! HEYROSS That's not all, JR, tell them about the new acquisition! JR In a big coup made over the last week, Jamie O'Hara makes his WDW debut right here tonight! That and a whole lot more, when we return after this break!

Girls, Girls, Girls by Jay-Z hits, and the lights go out. Pink lights shine around the arena, and a pink light illuminates the entryway, where Felix Strutter makes his appearance. JR And it's time now, Rick! HEYROSS The champ is, in fact, here! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way down the aisle, hailing from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 218 pounds, he is the OAOAST and WDW Heartland champion..."AFTER HOURS" FELIIIIIIIIIIIIIX STRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! As Strutter...struts confidently to the ring, the camera pans to TK, who has an intent look on his face. JR And we're waiting for the big announcement from TK, presumably to come following this match! PENZER His opponent... Strutter snatches the mic from Penzer. STRUTTER Hey boy...you got something to say? Why don't you come in here, and say it to my face! The crowd cheers, as TK stands up, and the security guards open the gate for him. HEYROSS It looks like the announcement is going to come right now! TK grabs a mic from ringside. TK So, the big buzz in the arena is what could Thunderkid's big announcement be? Well, here it comes. I'm challenging you, in 12 days at Triumph, to put up the OAOAST Heartland title in a rematch! JR WOW! TK That's right! I'll come here, and do it on your turf, if that's what it takes! STRUTTER *scratches his chin* OK...you got yourself a match! *crowd cheers* JR Our first big match at Triumph! Felix Strutter will defend the OAOAST Heartland title against Thunderkid! STRUTTER But right now, why don't you come in here, and get a little sample of what's in store... TK slides in the ring and begins to trade blows with Strutter, as Penzer and the preliminary wrestler bail the scene. Suddenly, the security guards slide in and ambush TK! JR What the hell is this, Rick? The guards remove their costumes to reveal Team Heyross! HEYROSS OH YEAH! JR It's Team Heyross! Moss and Benjamin stomp away on TK, then pick him up and hold him for Strutter to start striking. However, Deuce Deuce Bigelow rushes to TK's aid! HEYROSS What the hell is he doing out here? Bigelow gets some offense in, but ultimately falls to the 3-on-2 odds. It's at this point that Jumbo jumps the rail, and, after instructing a fan to keep an eye on his nachos, slides in and even the odds! JR Jumbo is in the ring! HEYROSS Get him out of there! Jumbo delivers a big clothesline to Benjamin! Then one to Moss! TK and Bigelow recover and it's a six-man brawl! Other WDW superstars rush the ring and duke it out! JR All hell has broken loose here on World Domination Wrestling! And unfortunately we don't have the airtime to witness it! For Rick Heyross, I'm Jivin' JR, good night folks! FADE TO BLACK

Disco Duck hits, and boos fill the arena as Vinny Valentine hits the ring. HEYROSS Look at him! He's the Disco Duck! JR And he's up next in action on World Domination Wrestling! Let's go to Penzer! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, from Brooklyn, NY, weighing in at 228 pounds..."THE DISCO DUCK" VINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VALENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!! Valentine gets down in the ring as the crowd boos. JR And the fans getting on the case of Vinny Valentine! HEYROSS What's not to like? He's just a fun-loving guy! But don't tell his opponents that! JR Well... PENZER His opponent, hailing from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 245 pounds...Rick Wayne! JR Rick Wayne, the young man from the Lone Star State, to take on the Disco Duck, Vinny Valentine! *DING DING DING* Valentine and Wayne circle the ring, and tie up. Valentine goes behind, and takes Wayne up in the air and down to the mat. He rides him for a bit, but Wayne gets to his feet, and takes Valentine between the ropes and to the floor with a leverage move! JR And a nice move by the youngster! Valentine throws a fit on the floor, then climbs back into the ring. He rakes the eyes of Wayne, then whips him into the ropes and delivers a back elbow. He drops another elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! JR Not enough to put down Rick Wayne! Valentine picks up Wayne and hooks him in a front facelock. He then pauses to dance a bit, before attempting the suplex, which is blocked by Wayne! Wayne counters a second time, then executes a suplex of his own! JR And a nice counter! Both men get to their feet, and Wayne blocks a right hand, then starts delivering rights of his own! He then floors Valentine with a big dropkick! HEYROSS Whoa! JR Elevation on the dropkick! Wayne whips Valentine into the ropes, and goes for another dropkick, but this time Valentine hooks the ropes and Wayne crashes into the mat! Valentine then measures Wayne as he struggles to get up. HEYROSS Uh oh, looks like he's gonna put on his Boogie Shoes! Valentine drills Wayne with a Shining Wizard! He then climbs to the top rope... HEYROSS JR, do you got the Fever? JR Well, I am slightly repulsed from sitting next to you all night. Valentine comes off the top with the NIGHT FEVER~!!! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner..."THE DISCO DUCK" VINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VALENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!! JR Vinny Valentine a winner, but do you know what's up next? The split screen is shown again, with Strutter walking out to the ring area. HEYROSS Oh yeah, the champ is in action, up next! Commercial break

My 8th grade woods teacher (it was called "Industrial Arts", but it was really just a watered-down woods class) was fired the year after I left for throwing a block of wood at a student. That's all I got.

*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! Chris Stevens walks through the curtains, greeted with boos. He stops to look in his mirror, then looks up and jaws at fans as he walks to the ring. JR After disappearing from the OAOAST nearly a year and a half ago, this man has found a new home here in World Domination Wrestling! For the introduction, here's David Penzer! PENZER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Rochester, Minnesota, and weighing in at 221 pounds..."SENSATIONAL" CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS SSSSTEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEENSSSSS!!!!! JR And a man my colleague is quite familiar with! HEYROSS Yeah, that's true. No matter what my personal feelings towards Chris Stevens are, he's a man after my own heart! He just goes out there and gets it done, no matter what it takes! PENZER His opponent, hailing from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 250 pounds...Clifford Walters! Stevens removes his robe and hands it to the referee, who then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Stevens and Walters circle the ring. They tie up, and Stevens grabs a sides headlock. Walters fights it, then backs Stevens into the ropes and pushes him off. Stevens hops over Walters, then ducks a clothesline. Walters then puts his head down, and Stevens executes a swinging neckbreaker! Stevens then sits up and flips his hair, which draws a reaction from the crowd. JR Got to make sure the hair's still in place! Stevens picks up Walters and backs him into a corner. He stands him up, and starts laying in European uppercuts. HEYROSS Patented European uppercuts from Chris Stevens, a former 24/7 and Heartland champion in the OAOAST! Stevens does some more taunting, then whips Walters across and charges, but Walters moves out of the way! JR And nobody home on the charge! Walters spins Stevens around and starts delivering jabs, then backs into the ropes and clotheslines him to the mat! JR And a nice burst of offense from Cliff Walters! Walters picks Stevens up and wrings his arm, then executes a bodyslam! Walters then hops up to the second rope, and attempts an elbow, but Stevens rolls out of the way! JR And this time it's Stevens who's too quick! Stevens slowly gets to his feet, then walks over to his corner and grabs his mirror. He feels his jaw briefly, then gives a thumbs up into the mirror. He then picks up Walters and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a HIGH KNEE~! Stevens follows the high knee with a SUPERKICK~! HEYROSS And Chris Stevens could be setting him up here! Stevens scales the top rope, and delivers the FROG SPLASH~!!! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* PENZER The winner of the match..."SENSATIONAL" CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS SSSSTEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEENSSSSS!!!!! JR Tremendous win for Chris Stevens, reminding everyone out there that he's still around! Stevens poses for the camera, ala Rick Martel, then walks back to the locker room. The (TV) screen goes black, and soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? Commercial break

Updated to include Jamie O'Hara and Team Heyross.

PK: Please make sure this gets on the show every week until the date posted below. The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. [color=red][b]The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling.[/color][/b] Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) [i]In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature.[/i] Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. [i]Soon men and women of every color...[/i] Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. [i]And shape...[/i] Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. [i]Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors...[/i] Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. [i]...and to ignore the beauty in each other.[/i] Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. [i]But they would never lose sight of the dream.[/i] Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance. [i]The bitter world that they could unite...[/i] Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces. [i]And build together...in Triumph.[/i] As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. [color=red][b]World Domination Wrestling presents: [size=5]WDW Triumph[/size] Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It?[/color][/b] I'll try to get a couple banners made for this, but if you're ready to post the show then don't wait around on those.

Great Britain. Rule Brittania Regal. Brittania rules the waves Noble. Britain never never never shall be slaves Dignified. Rule Britta... Not to be messed with! Anarchy for the UK Proud. It's coming sometime and maybe Brave. I give a wrong time stop a traffic line Ruthless. Your future dream is a shopping scheme Powerful. Cause I... wanna be... Anarchy! Barbaric. NATHANIEL BLACK Coming to WDW... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" JIVIN' JR And speaking of Brits, here comes WDW's newest superstar! "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pumps through the arena and Jamie O'Hara marches out through the entrance, to a booming reception. PENZER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, on the way to the ring... from Birmingham, England. Weighing one hundred, seventy three pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIEEEEEEE... O'HHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!! The WDW fans give O'Hara a warm welcome. He still finds a reason to jaw away though, but does tag at least one hand on the way to the ring. PENZER And, in the ring, from Detroit, Michigan... weighing two hundred, twenty four pounds, KKEEEEEEEENN HHHYYYYUUUUUUNNDDAAAAAAAIIIIIIII! JR Hyundai, from the Motor City, looking to debut on WDW in top gear! HEYROSS *groans* The stocky Hyundai watches as O'Hara climbs the ropes, yelling about what he's going to do to his more powerful opponent. As he leaps down O'Hara is checked for weapons. In a less conventional way, at least for a wrestler, hands behind his head pinned in a corner. HEYROSS He looks pretty accustomed to being searched, doesn't he? *DINGDINGDING!* Bell sounds and O'Hara locks up with Hyundai. With easy Hyundai pushes him off, sending O'Hara rolling across the ring. As he comes up in the corner, J-OH clearly doesn't appreciate that and goes nose to nose with his opponent, forcing the ref to step in. JR O'Hara is unashamedly brash. HEYROSS I prefer 'spirited'. JR Why are you being so complimentary? Since when were you a Jamie O'Hara fan? HEYROSS Since he signed for WDW of course! Another lock-up, this time with O'Hara coming out on top with a headlock. Hyundai quickly pushes him off into the ropes and knocks him down with a shoulder on the rebound. Hyundai hits the ropes now, O'Hara flipping over and forcing Hyundai up and over. A leapfrog then follows, before Hyundai takes a head-on collision with a Standing Dropkick! JR Impressive move. HEYROSS If you thought that was impressive... Right on cue, O'Hara tumbles through the air with a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! 1... 2... No! Exiting to the apron, O'Hara waits for Hyundai to get back up before springboarding to the top. Hyundai sidesteps early. But O'Hara reads it, rolling through on impact and coming safely to his feet to catch Hyundai with a drop toehold. HEYROSS Could be the Curbstomp! Hyundai kicks O'Hara off before he can lace up the legs. Again rolling safely through, O'Hara meets Hyundai on the way up with a forearm. Another. And a third! With Hyundai dazed, O'Hara scales onto Hyundai's shoulders looking for a Victory Roll. Hyundai won't go down. So Jamie instead leans back, pulling over Hyundai with a REVERSE HURRICANRANA!! JR Right on his head!! HEYROSS I think Hyundai just got wrecked! Rolling Hyundai over onto his back, O'Hara leaps onto his stomach with a double stomp. All on his way to the top rope which gets the crowd on their feet. JR Always something spectacular when O'Hara goes to the top! Steadying himself, through the air tumbles The Birmingham Bad Boy, right through 630 DEGREES!! JR 630 SPLASH! Lateral press... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* PENZER Your winner of the match... JJAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE... O'HHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAAA!!! JR Jamie O'Hara with an impressive debut, just 12 days from Triumph! O'Hara nurses his back a little from the high-risk move as he walks back up the aisle, with a successful debut behind him. The camera shows a split-screen, with Thunderkid sitting in the front row and Felix Strutter arriving at the arena in a stylish cream-colored suit. JR And still to come, Thunderkid's big announcement, he's got something to say to "After Hours" Felix Strutter! HEYROSS Who is FASHIONABLY late, I might add! JR Yeah, who cares. Commercial break

Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody plays, and Deuce Deuce Bigelow dances through the curtains to a nice pop. JR Back here on World Domination Wrestling, and we kick things off in a big way! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 390 pounds...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! Bigelow gets the adulation of the fans as he circles the ringside area, then climbs into the ring. HEYROSS The fans love this guy...and I just can't figure out why! JR What's not to like? He's just a fun-loving guy! But don't tell his opponents that! PENZER His opponent, from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, weighing in at 265 pounds...Mike Dexter! JR Mike Dexter, a big man in his own right, looks like a cruiserweight in comparison to big Deuce! Dexter gets in the face of Bigelow, and shoves him. Bigelow shoves back, sending Dexter all the way across the ring! JR And there you see the strength, as well as the short temper, of Deuce Deuce Bigelow! Dexter slides out of the ring, and slaps the mat. He paces at ringside for a few seconds, then slides back in. He crouches down, then lunges for the leg of Bigelow, and trips him to the mat. HEYROSS Nice takedown! You know, Mike Dexter was a very successful amateur wrestler in college! JR And he's looking to take Deuce to the school of hard knocks right now! Dexter holds on to the leg, but Bigelow turns over, and pushes him off with his other foot! JR But the big man won't be taken down that easily! Bigelow attempts a Spinarooni, failing miserably, as the crowd ribs him over it. Bigelow then quickly gets to his feet and pounds Dexter in the corner. He then traps Dexter's arm and crushes him with a belly-to-belly! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! JR And credit to Mike Dexter, able to survive that big move! HEYROSS But for how much longer? Bigelow picks Dexter up, and whips him hard into a corner. He then backs into the ropes, and delivers a MASSIVE shoulder check, flattening Dexter dead in his tracks! JR What a collision! HEYROSS Robert Horry would be proud of that one! Bigelow then scales the ropes, and drills him with the FUNKY COLD MEDINA~!!! JR And this one's in the bag! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! JR And a big win for Deuce Deuce Bigelow! Bigelow walks out to ringside, and spots Jumbo sitting in the crowd! Bigelow delivers a big high ten to Jumbo, then shakes his hand, before making his way to the back. HEYROSS And yet more OAOAST stars sighted here on World Domination Wrestling! JR You have to wonder if Jumbo could be close to a deal with WDW! And if so, and if the show of respect between those two is any indication...what could that mean for the World Tag Team title reign of Team Heyross? HEYROSS ... Commercial break

I was wrong, the lottery is actually before the game. Coverage starts at 7:30.

Cause a girl walked in with a itty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face?

I'm probably going to end up not using him, and instead bring some more of my guys over from HD.

I did quit, and Mole said I could have it back if I ever want it back.

Sat, May 5 Detroit 95, Chicago 69 Sun, May 6 Cleveland 81, New Jersey 77 San Antonio 111, Phoenix 106 Mon, May 7 Detroit 108, Chicago 87 Utah 116, Golden State 112 Tue, May 8 Cleveland 102, New Jersey 92 Phoenix 101, San Antonio 81 Wed, May 9 Utah 127, Golden State 117, OT Thu, May 10 Detroit 81, Chicago 74 Fri, May 11 Golden State 125, Utah 105 Sat, May 12 New Jersey 96, Cleveland 85 San Antonio 108, Phoenix 101 Sun, May 13 Chicago 102, Detroit 87 Utah 115, Golden State 101 Mon, May 14 Cleveland 87, New Jersey 85 Phoenix 104, San Antonio 98 Tue, May 15 Chicago 108, Detroit 92 Utah 100, Golden State 87, Utah wins 4-1 Wed, May 16 New Jersey 83, Cleveland 72 San Antonio 88, Phoenix 85 Thu, May 17 Detroit 95, Chicago 85, Detroit wins 4-2 Fri, May 18 Cleveland 88, New Jersey 72, Cleveland wins 4-2 San Antonio 104, Phoenix 96, San Antonio wins 4-2

Yeah, I thought about just suspending him, but honestly if you warn someone and they come right back and just keep acting the same way, they really don't need to be here. Maybe it was a little harsh, but maybe people will learn that they can make their points without being insulting. This is pretty much what I was thinking. You can't really blame being tired out when you've got plenty of perfectly acceptable replacements you can stick in there. Still no sign of Rose or Banks.

Well, you had your warning about personal attacks. Happy trails.

I'll be rooting for the Suns in game 6, just like tonight. No matter which team you support, you don't want a series like this to be decided on what happened in game 4. Hopefully there will be a game 7, with no excuses. Did the Suns play this whole game with 6 guys?

Not a good day posting for me, I'd have to say.

I thought it was funny how everyone was all "woe is the Suns" after the suspensions were handed down, and penciling in the Spurs against the Jazz. Even Dan Patrick said in that interview said "This series IS GOING to be decided by the Horry foul." Really. I must have just dreamt all of last season where the Suns played without Amare and won I think it was 58 games, and almost made the Finals. I realize they don't have Diaw, either, but honestly Jalen Rose can do pretty much anything Diaw can do, he just doesn't have quite the size. I'd be surprised if they lost this game, honestly.

OK, I just watched it again, and he wasn't as far out while celebrating as I had thought. So, I was wrong. But, aside from the fact that they were both on the court when they shouldn't have been (and yes, by letter of the law, Duncan should be suspended), it's still not the same situation as Amare, who came off far enough to get into every camera shot, including the close-ups, and was CLEARLY doing so in attempt to escalate the situation. I can buy that Diaw was just going to help Nash, but seriously, watch how Amare runs towards the frey. But, by the looks of it, the Suns will win this game, and none of this will matter after tonight. What a hot crowd.

OK, I apologize. The Spurs are Satan's team, and everything they do is dirty and illegal, and defending them advocates thuggery, dirty play, bestiality and underage drinking. Forgive me, please, for this crime I've committed.

In the two losses against Dallas, and Richardson in Game 4 of this series.

Duncan jumped off the bench in celebration of Elson's dunk, and ended up on the court. He didn't move any closer after the words were exchanged on the court or whatever else happened. Bowen went out there and pulled him back to the bench. Edited the GS/Utah stuff out, because I don't feel like arguing about it.