alfdogg

Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody plays, and Deuce Deuce Bigelow dances through the curtains to the cheers of the crowd. JR And here comes the big man! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 390 pounds...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! HEYROSS The Flaming Gigolo...but not in that way! Bigelow dances around the ring, slapping the fans' hands, then climbs into the ring. PENZER His opponent, from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 230 pounds...CURTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS CAMEROOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!!! JR So it'll be Curtis Cameron trying to handle big Deuce Deuce Bigelow! Cameron and Bigelow tie up, and Bigelow quickly shoves Cameron off, then struts as the crowd cheers. HEYROSS Bigelow is a powerful man, no matter what I think of him! Cameron gets up slowly, then moves back in on Bigelow. Bigelow grabs a side headlock, but Cameron backs him into the ropes, then sends him across. Cameron leapfrogs Bigelow, then drops to his back for a monkey flip, but Bigelow dodges it with a cartwheel! JR And a very agile man, as well! Cameron is frustrated, as he goes in for another tieup, and goes to the eyes. Cameron delivers kicks to the midsection, then goes for a slam. JR That's not gonna work, Curtis! Bigelow blocks, then delivers a blow to the back. Bigelow then measures Cameron, and floors him with a dropkick! Bigelow follows his feat with a horrible attempt at the moonwalk. JR What a dropkick, and look at the moves! Bigelow executes a falling headbutt, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Bigelow whips Cameron into the corner, then follows him in with a handspring elbow! As Cameron staggers out, he is floored with a Ghetto Blaster! Bigelow then scales the buckles... JR Is it time? Bigelow flies off with the FUNKY COLD MEDINA~! JR Yes! The Funky Cold Medina! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! JR Impressive win by the big man, and you know he's ready for Triumph! Bigelow climbs out of the ring, and dances down the aisle. Cut backstage, where Team Heyross is getting ready for their match. HEYROSS And there's my boys! JR And yes, it is Team Heyross, getting ready for their big Tag Team Turmoil match, as they look to become the first-ever WDW Tag Team champions! What teams could they possibly be facing?

Magnum Opus is playing as the show returns to air. JR Back here on World Domination Wrestling, as Alfdogg here to grace us with his presence! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the WDW World Heavyweight champion, ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf enters the ring and grabs the mic from Penzer. ALF Well, I was hoping tonight would be the night that we brought the OAOAST gold onto the return of WDW television... *crowd cheers* ALF But, unfortunately, we can't do that. I got a memo yesterday, and was informed that the OAOAST would take legal action if one of their belts appeared on this show around the waist of one of our wrestlers. *crowd boos* ALF But, fortunately, we were able to make everything right. We made a few changes, and now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the OAOAST...and WDW Heartland champion, "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Girls, Girls, Girls hits, and Strutter walks around with the "WDW" belt around his waist, which is clearly the same belt with a WDW decal placed over it. HEYROSS There he is! My man! The champ! JR Two champions standing in the ring right now, as a matter of fact, and Felix is going to have a match here, you see Mitch Hughes standing in the ring while all this is going on... Alf raises the hand of Strutter, as the referee climbs into the ring. Once Alf puts Strutter's hand down, Strutter attacks Hughes! *DING DING DING* Strutter kicks away at Hughes in the corner, then comes out and poses for the crowd, which boos. Strutter then grabs Hughes and whips him into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Hughes delivers a kick! HEYROSS HEY! JR But I don't think Mitch Hughes is impressed! Hughes delivers right hands to Strutter, then whips him into the ropes, and delivers a BIG backdrop! JR And what a backdrop by Hughes! Hughes yells out to the crowd, which gets behind him. Hughes whips Strutter into the ropes, but puts his own head down...and Strutter stops, underhooks him, and plants him with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 HEYROSS Don't get your hopes up, JR! JR And it looks like this one's over in a hurry! Strutter gets to his feet, looking upset, and places a foot on Hughes' chest. 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match..."AFTER HOURS" FELIIIIIIIIIIIIIX STRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! HEYROSS MOST Impressive victory! JR But will it be another one later tonight, when your team, Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, go up against five of the greatest tag teams of all time in a Tag Team Turmoil match to crown the first-ever WDW World Tag Team champions? The (TV) screen goes black, and soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays. A spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It?

A gong sounds, and the arena goes dark. Japanese theme music plays. The crowd grows silent, then cheers respectfully as the light shines upon Ricky Hayabusa's entrance. JIVIN' JR And listen to the crowd here, on their feet for the Shadow Dragon! Let's go up to David Penzer! PENZER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way down the aisle, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 225 pounds..."THE SHADOW DRAGON" RICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAYABUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! HEYROSS Ricky Hayabusa, the Shadow Dragon, silent but deadly...just like you, JR! JR Are we still talking about wrestling, or... HEYROSS Forget it. Hayabusa steps into the ring and does some martial arts poses, then waves to the crowd and takes off his robe. PENZER His opponent, hailing from Mobile, Alabama, weighing in at 248 pounds...SPARKYYYYYYYY JOHNSOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN! *DING DING DING* JIVIN' JR And WDW is back on the air, Sparky Johnson challenging the Shadow Dragon, Ricky Hayabusa! The combatants circle the ring, then stop in the middle. Hayabusa bows, at which point Johnson tries a kick. However, Hayabusa sees it coming, and stands upright while catching the foot! HEYROSS That was planned all along! What a cheater! JR A smart move by Hayabusa! Hayabusa sweeps Johnson's left leg out from under him, then drops an elbow on the right leg! Hayabusa then gets to his feet, and gets in a stance as he waits on Johnson. JR And Ricky Hayabusa poised, waiting... When Johnson gets up, Hayabusa lays in roundhouse kicks to the midsection, then backs Johnson into the ropes and whips him across. He goes for a dropkick, but Johnson holds onto the ropes. HEYROSS Smart move, Sparky! Johnson points at his own head, letting everyone know that he was using his head. Hayabusa then KIPS UP, with one foot landing in the hands of Johnson, then executes an ENZIGURI~! JR Oh, what a move! Hayabusa calls out to the crowd, letting them know that it's time for the finish, then sizes up Johnson and drills him with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE~! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* JR And the Shadow Dragon wins it! PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match......"THE SHADOW DRAGON" RICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAYABUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! JR An impressive showing from "The Shadow Dragon" Ricky Hayabusa, as WDW is OFFICIALLY back on the air! Phoenix segment

Rochester-New York in '51, and Dallas-Portland in '03.

To be fair, the Spurs took it just as hard from the refs in the third quarter of Game 2, and throughout much of the Denver series.

Hi...just started watching the game. What happened to Ginobili's eye?

Wow, Araujo really sucks. Two layups, and he failed to even hit the rim on either of them. Just slammed them right off the board.

Squirtle!

23-point lead, and the fans are chanting BULLSHIT on a travel call. Lovely.

I don't think Golden State will keep up this insane shooting percentage throughout the series, but the Jazz had damn well better get all four of them at home, because they're gonna need them.

Like I'm going to believe anything Stephen Jackson says.

I think that's exactly what I said. That he has a right to be upset over the Bowen thing, but is being a bitch about everything else. On the Ginobili play, it seemed that he was leading with his foot on the drive, which again, should have been an offensive foul, but I don't think he caught him in the nuts on purpose. Usually when guys do that they push off the guys' upper leg. But as I said that's happened numerous times in the past, and Amare is the only guy I've seen complain about it.

Yeah, I saw it. He was doing just what you said, trying to keep him from getting the pass. There should have been a foul on the play, but there was no intent to injure.

Yeah. At least with the foot sweep, you could argue that those were accidental, even though it happened a lot to be a coincidence. I think this one is definitely fine-worthy, at least. That aside, after reading Amare's comments, he's obviously just being a whiny bitch because the Spurs are getting physical with him. You can't say that the Spurs are a dirty team just because of the actions of one guy. And Ginobili didn't kick him on purpose, either, that play happens quite a bit. Not that any of this surprises me from either side, of course.

I'm not one to subscribe to all the NASCAR-bashing, but I actually changed it off of ESPNNEWS because of the egregious amount of coverage the DEI stuff was getting.

If you know your keepers, feel free to post them. If you need to check the league page, you can still get to it through your fantasy profile. Here's what I've got so far. bob barron: Canadian Chris IK Cool Jew: Cena's Writer: Steve Nash, Shawn Marion Precious Roy: LeBron James, Chauncey Billups Adam: Gilbert Arenas, Rashard Lewis Deep Thought: Carlos Boozer, Luol Deng razazteca: Paul Pierce, Josh Howard, Jason Richardson Cartman: Dwight Howard, Rafer Alston, Ben Wallace King: Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, Ron Artest teke184: Carmelo Anthony, Elton Brand, Brandon Roy TheOriginalOrangeGoblin: Allen Iverson, Michael Redd Alfdogg: Yao Ming, Lamar Odom, Leandro Barbosa nogoodnick: Jason Kidd, Jermaine O'Neal, Andre Igoudala Will Scarlet: Pau Gasol, Chris Bosh, Ben Gordon Fokai: Amare Stoudemire, Joe Johnson, Gerald Wallace Cuban_Linx: Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Kirk Hinrich Krankor: Dwyane Wade, Deron Williams

All-NBA teams 1st G: Steve Nash G: Kobe Bryant F: Dirk Nowitzki F: Tim Duncan C: Amare Stoudemire 2nd G: Gilbert Arenas G: Tracy McGrady F: LeBron James F: Chris Bosh C: Yao Ming 3rd G: Dwyane Wade G: Chauncey Billups F: Carmelo Anthony F: Kevin Garnett C: Dwight Howard Interestingly enough, Nash was the only unanimous first-teamer.

There's the Action Jackson I know and love. 4-18 (2-10 3PT), 18 points. I really like this Utah team, and think that they could easily win the whole thing. They played the Spurs very well in the regular season in the games I saw, and took 3 of 4 against the Suns. Detroit's probably coming out of the East, and they've had a lot of trouble against Utah over the past couple years. It wouldn't surprise me.

OK, maybe not. This is one hell of a series.

And now Stephen Jackson makes the game-winner just to piss me off.

DEREK FISHER HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING Reggie needs to stop calling Warriors games.

I read that article, and I think it was mostly just the author throwing shit against the wall. He also said that Jermaine O'Neal had asked to be traded to the Knicks, which O'Neal has since denied.