alfdogg

We have that here, too.

I'm still waiting for my hi-five

hi-five, bro

YA RLY

Not really.

ESPN Power Rankings 1. Miami 2. Dallas 3. San Antonio 4. Phoenix 5. Detroit 6. Chicago 7. Cleveland 8. LA Clippers 9. Houston 10. NO/OK 11. New Jersey 12. LA Lakers 13. Golden State 14. Denver 15. Utah 16. Indiana 17. Milwaukee 18. Washington 19. Orlando 20. Minnesota 21. Sacramento 22. Boston 23. Memphis 24. Toronto 25. New York 26. Seattle 27. Atlanta 28. Charlotte 29. Philadelphia 30. Portland

Brevin Knight, G

Here's mine. Surprised to see Black T drop the belts so quick, but they really put up a fight. Really dramatic stuff. And just what was Drek and Hoff's motive? Tune into HeldDOWN~! to find out! Loved the segment with Cortez/Megan. The Love Doctors bit was hilarious. For some reason, it reminded of me of the dream sequence in Airplane, where the girl goes head first into the jukebox and it starts playing Stayin' Alive. Great stuff. Really good match between Pete & Pete. PK pulled out all the stops to save his career, and he did it, despite the back problems. I still get the feeling from the ending that this one isn't quite over with. Tremendous brawl between the US/Wildcards. They said it wouldn't be a wrestling match, and it wasn't. And to think, after this, there's MORE on the way. I can't wait! Main event was great, it really picked up towards the middle and end. I did have a problem with the finish, though...I understand it story-line wise, at least long-term, but when there was just a gun angle a couple months ago, it kind of takes most of the shock factor away from it. Great show, guys. And thanks once again to Papacita for the graphics.

Don't forget to also feedback HD like you said you would when you wake up!

Send everything to Adam (I think). OAOAST Heavyweight Championship Towel Match Drek Stone © vs Tha Puerto Rican OAOAST Heartland Title Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell II Brock Ausstin © vs Alfdogg vs Thunderkid vs Reject vs Colombian Heat vs Gunner Sharps Street Fight The Usual Suspects (Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez) vs. The Dead Precedents (Bruce Blank and Bloodshed) No-DQ, No-Countout Grudge Match If PK loses, he will retire Peter Knight vs. Longdogger Pete OAOAST Tag Team Titles Black T © vs. The Sooner Bruisers

Look again, son.

bump. Stupid NYU.

DJ Clue's Super Mario Mix hits and the Burrough Boys make their way out to the ring, to boos. COLE And it's time for some six-man tag action! Let's go up to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following is a six-man tag team match, scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of 655 pounds...from Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Staten Island, respectively, here are MARIANO, LUTHER, and WALDO...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BURROOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] COLE Well Coach, it was about four weeks ago that these three men made their way from the stands to assist Reject in an attack on Jumbo. Jumbo would later challenge them to a six-man tag match, and found his partners in the Jamaican Team of Denzel Spencer and Reggie Lamont! And that brings us to tonight! COACH I expect a win for the Burrough Boys here tonight, those other three men, Jumbo, and the Jamaicans, have never even teamed together! The Burrough Boys draw more boos as they pose on the buckles, then [i]Sweet Home Chicago[/i] hits and Jumbo makes his way through the curtains, followed by Team Jamaica. BUFFER [i]Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 919 pounds...introducing first, hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica...the team of REGGIE LAMONT and DENZEL SPENCER...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMM JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMAICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!![/i] Team Jamaica poses on the buckles, getting a nice pop, as Jumbo gives out high-fives on the outside, then climbs into the ring. Everyone gets in their corners, and the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Everyone steps out, leaving Denzel in the ring with Luther. COLE And it'll be Denzel Spencer starting out with Luther! Denzel and Luther circle the ring, and tie up. Both men jockey for position, but no progress is made, so they break it and circle the ring again. They tie up, and Luther delivers a knee to the midsection. Luther follows up with a gutwrench backbreaker! A HIGH dropkick, and Luther celebrates to the crowd, which boos him in response. COLE And Luther looking sharp thus far against Denzel Spencer! Luther hops up to the second rope and waits on Denzel to get up. Luther dives, but Denzel catches him in an armdrag! COACH That one backfired, though! Denzel gets to his feet and brings Luther up, wringing the arm, then grabbing it, lifting Luther up in the air and slamming him to the mat! COLE And a great leverage move by Denzel! COACH And that one could injure an arm in a moment's notice if Luther doesn't go with the flow! Denzel gets down and bars the arm. Luther gets to all fours, then puts his head on the mat and flips up to his feet! COLE There's that agility from Luther, all these guys tremendous athletes! Luther wrings the arm of Denzel, then grabs him by the hair and drags him into a corner, hammering away with stiff punches and kicks to the midsection. COACH And not too bad with the fisticuffs, either! Luther whips Denzel across the ring, but Denzel avoids the charge, then rolls up Luther... 1... 2... Kickout! Luther charges Denzel, but gets caught in another armdrag! Denzel then delivers a bodyslam to Luther, who quickly tags out to Waldo. COLE And the first tag of the match, and Waldo in for the Burrough Boys! Waldo charges, but gets caught in an armdrag, as well! Denzel tags in Reggie, who takes over on the arm, and hammers away on the shoulder area. COLE And a tag on the other side! Reggie wrings the arm once again, but Waldo goes to the eyes. Waldo tries to ram Reggie's head into the corner, but Reggie blocks, then rams Waldo's head as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Reggie pulls Waldo out, and whips him into the ropes, then backs in and hits him with a high knee! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reggie backs into the ropes, and goes to drop an elbow, but Waldo rolls out of the way. Waldo tags in Mariano, as Reggie makes the tag to Jumbo! Mariano stops in his tracks. COACH Uh-oh! COLE And the big guy's in there now! Jumbo smiles, then struts along the ropes, drawing big applause. He then approaches Mariano, who backs into the ropes for a shoulderblock, but it's Mariano who hits the mat! COLE Well...not too smart on the part of Mariano! He tries it again, same result. He then rolls over and grabs a leg of Jumbo, while trying to get to his feet. Jumbo hammers away on the back, then scoops him up, holding him in one arm for all sides to see. COLE Like lifting a feather for Jumbo! Jumbo slams Mariano HARD to the mat! He then drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Jumbo gets up and tags Denzel once again, who jumps to the top rope, and comes off with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel hammers away on Mariano, then backs into the ropes...and catches a knee from Luther! COLE And a cheap shot from the outside by Luther! Denzel staggers out, and gets floored with a spinning wheel kick by Mariano! Luther turns around on the apron and holds his arms out, as the crowd boos. COACH Great teamwork! Brilliant! Mariano then tags in Luther, who goes to the top rope as Mariano holds Denzel in a front facelock, and comes off with a big chop to the back. Luther then goes for a slam, but Denzel slips behind the back, and goes for a reverse sunset flip! Mariano jumps back in and tries a clothesline, but Denzel ducks! As the referee ushers Mariano out, Waldo jumps in, and Luther pushes Denzel off into a SUPERKICK~! from Waldo! COLE WOW, what a kick from Waldo, and the referee's losing control of this one! Luther delivers a snap suplex to Denzel, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Luther tags Waldo, then holds Denzel on his knee, as Waldo comes in with a guillotine legdrop! COLE Some more nice teamwork by the Burrough Boys! Waldo picks up Denzel in a fireman's carry, then grabs him by the tights and pulls him over as he falls backwards, pulling Denzel right onto his knees! COACH WOW! COLE Can you imagine the wind coming out of Denzel right there? Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Mariano tags back in, and lifts Denzel in an over-the-shoulder powerbomb, then underhooks the arms and drops down to his ass! COLE And now impact to the back of Denzel! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But he's hanging in there! Just like the Tag Team World Cup, they never quit, even when faced with seemingly hopeless challenges! Waldo tags back in, and hammers away on Denzel. Denzel begins to fire back! COLE And now mounting a comeback! The two trade blows briefly, but Waldo goes to the eyes, hits a foot to the gut, and delivers a DDT! He then tags in Mariano, who delivers a snap legdrop, then goes to the top rope. COACH It's over now, though! Mariano gets his balance on the top rope, then leaps off for a SOMERSAULT LEGDROP~!!! ...but Denzel rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home, and Denzel needs to make the tag! Denzel scoots over, and makes a tag to Reggie! COLE And there it is! Reggie hammers away on Mariano, then hits a foot to the gut, backs into the ropes, and delivers a SCISSOR KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Reggie catches Waldo coming in for the save, and hops up, tripping Waldo up, and executing the GIANT SWING~! COLE A Giant Swing from Reggie Lamont! Reggie does four revolutions, then drops Waldo to the mat. Mariano is getting up in a corner, and Reggie waves for Denzel to come in. Reggie charges, and nails Mariano with an avalanche! Denzel follows with a handspring elbow! Jumbo then climbs into the ring, and delivers an avalanche of his own! COLE Even Jumbo getting involved in the PAPPY-SHOW~! Jumbo pushes Mariano out into a bicycle kick! Reggie covers, but the referee is putting Jumbo out! This allows Luther to jump in and attack Reggie. Luther attempts an Irish whip, but Reggie blocks, then delivers a URINAGE~! Jumbo then comes back in, and delivers the XL SPLASH~!!! COLE There's the XL SPLASH! COACH But he's not legal! Mariano and Waldo hammer on Jumbo, as the referee tries to separate them all. COLE And this one's completely out of control! Reggie goes to help out Jumbo, then suddenly, a man in a purple shirt pulls Luther out of the ring, and slides in in his place! COLE Who the hell is that??? Reggie comes over to him, oblivious, and picks him up. As he does, the man delivers a LOW BLOW~!, then hooks him reverse, and ROLLS THE DICE~! The man then covers... COLE Wait a minute, he's not even in the match! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH The referee couldn't tell the difference! COLE A fourth man has helped the Burrough Boys pick up the win! BUFFER [i]The winners of the match...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BURROOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] Jumbo and Denzel check on Reggie, as the mystery man celebrates with the Burrough Boys on the outside, as Waldo helps Luther to his feet, and Mariano points and laughs. COLE And I'm not so sure we've heard the last of this one!

San Francisco (Lightning Flik 1-2) at Kansas City (Alfdogg 1-1) SF: AZ/TEN/NYJ/HOU/BUF/NO/SD/SF/STL/CLE/JAX/CIN/SEA/GB/20 KC: ATL/TEN/IND/HOU/BUF/CAR/SD/KC/DET/CLE/JAX/CIN/CHI/GB/27 DIFF: AZ/ATL, NYJ/IND, NO/CAR, SF/KC, STL/DET, SEA/CHI kkk forgot to include AZ/ATL in the DIFF games, I think is where you're confused. With that, we each got 3 of the DIFF games, and I was 14 off and you were 20 off.

I counted it as a tie. And my team's closer to its point total.

Oh yeah. Six-man tag The Burrough Boys vs Jumbo & Team Jamaica

nick left me his pick Tony Parker, G

1) They're not that bad, but they really did nothing to convince me that they'll be any better, either. Supposedly Isiah is a guy that can relate to the players, and it'll all click and they'll be at least a bubble playoff team, but I'll believe that when I see it. 2) The only major change, without looking, is picking up Tim Thomas from the Suns. Radmanovic went to the other LA team. So, I'd say that's an upgrade. I think they made one other move, too, I'll have to look that up. EDIT: Nope, that's really the only thing different.

Utah's been decimated by injuries the last couple years (134 games lost just between AK and Boozer). If healthy, they shouldn't have much trouble getting in.

[i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg comes out to an ENORMOUS pop, flanked by Team Canada. COLE And here comes Alfdogg, now the three-time Heartland champion after the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell this past Sunday! COACH And he did it with the help of that huge monster of a man, who's about to make his OAOAST debut right now! COLE Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome the...[/i] Buffer is cut off by Alf, who shouts instructions at him. BUFFER [i]Please welcome the OAOAST CANADIAN Champion, ALFDOGG!!!!![/i] COLE Oh, come on! COACH What's the matter, Cole? Alf's the one who dubbed it the Heartland title in the first place! He has the right to change his mind! Alf takes the mike from Buffer. ALFDOGG Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Getting ready to come down the aisle...he is the newest member of team Canada! Hand picked by myself, from the deepest mountains, RIGHT HERE in Winnipeg, Manitoba! *crowd cheers* He stands 7 feet, 3 inches tall! He weighs 518 pounds! Folks, while you wait on us to take the six-man titles from those poser Hooligans, sit back and enjoy the mayhem, from THE MANITOBA MAMMOTH, DEON BLACK~! The crowd ERUPTS as [i]Speak to Me/Breathe[/i] by Pink Floyd plays, and the massive man walks to the ring. COLE And there he is, "The Manitoba Mammoth", Deon Black! Black climbs up the steps, and steps over the top rope. His opponent circles the ring quickly and timidly, trying to find a way to dodge the big man's attacks. He tries to duck around him, but Black catches him around the throat. COACH Uh-oh, he's caught now! Black tosses him right back into the corner, and delivers a MASSIVE overhand forearm to the chest, leaving his opponent squirming in the corner! COLE And WHAT FORCE behind that blow! Black then delivers shots to the sides of the head and the ears, before delivering a big blow to the gut! COACH He's pretty good with the fists! COLE He's probably pretty good with everything! COACH You'll get no arguments from me! Black grabs the man, and lifts him overhead with ease. COLE And that is a big, BIG press slam! Black walks out of the corner, and drops the man behind him straight down to the mat! COACH And a big, BIG fall, as well! Black grabs the man by the throat, and pulls him up off the mat with one hand. He then lifts him in the air with that one hand, and slams him to the mat with a CHOKESLAM~! COACH And the big man's having his fun in there, Cole! Black then lifts his opponent onto his shoulders, in a fireman's carry, before spinning him around into a Boss Man Slam! COLE And there's the move he crushed Brock with last night! COACH And he's crushed this poor sap with it, too! Black puts both hands on the man's chest... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]The winner of the match..."THE MANITOBA MAMMOTH" DEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK!!!!![/i] COLE So Alf really making his mark with his latest find, and he'll try to make it again later tonight, when he and Team Canada challenge the Hooligans for the OAOAST Six-Man tag team titles! Let's go to Josh!

I deleted my post up there, so I could put it in a less rude manner. I'm not trying to say OMG FINALS~ for the Bulls or anything, but Ripper is essentially implying that Ben Wallace, a four time DPOTY and NBA champion, and PJ Brown, a former all-star who is still good for a double-double on any given night, when given the minutes, is somehow not an upgrade over Tyson Chandler. I don't know if that was his intent, but if it was, I'd really like to hear him elaborate on this. And based on some of his commentary since the Miami series, it does kind of seem like he's letting his feelings towards Wallace cloud his judgment slightly when it comes to the Bulls. My rankings in each conference right now would probably look something like this: East 1. Miami 2. Chicago 3. New Jersey 4. Cleveland 5. Detroit 6. Indiana 7. Orlando 8. Washington bubble: Milwaukee, Philadelphia West 1. San Antonio 2. Phoenix 3. Dallas 4. LA Clippers 5. Houston 6. Utah 7. Sacramento 8. Denver bubble: LA Lakers, NO/OK. Again, I just think the loss of Gasol will be too much for Memphis to overcome.

Spread these throughout the show, in this order. Gunner Sharps is shown in his locker room, lifting barbells. COLE And Gunner Sharps, getting ready for his participation in the second Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! He'll be the last man to enter, but will he be the last man standing? Colombian Heat is shown sitting in his locker room, bent over, with his hands locked together. COLE And a little mental preparation for Colombian Heat, a big underdog who's made a lot of believers in recent weeks, and another participant in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! COACH Well, he'll need all the preparation he can get! Cut back to the locker rooms, where Reject is doing pushups. COLE And there is Reject! He's been within a hair of being a World champion, and tonight, he goes for the Heartland title in the Chamber of Hell! COACH And I think he could well sneak in the back door in this one, Cole! Thunderkid is shown backstage punching at the air. COLE And Thunderkid getting some fists of fury ready, for the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell later tonight! COACH TK's been nearly unstoppable since AngleSlam, but this is his toughest task to date! Cut backstage, where Alfdogg is talking to Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera. ALF No, I'll be fine, guys, trust me. PANTERA Are you sure? I mean, we're not busy tonight, we don't have a match. STRUTTER You're sure you don't need help? ALF YES, I'm sure. *Alf puts his hands on Strutter's left shoulder, and Pantera's right shoulder. ALF I got him. Pantera looks over at Strutter, and Team Canada shares a laugh, as the three men gloat in the locker room. COLE What's that supposed to mean, Coach? "I got him". COACH I have no idea. COLE No telling what Alf has up his sleeve, as he gets ready for the second Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! He won the first one last year at AngleSlam, a match Thunderkid and Reject were also a part of! Will that give him the edge here tonight?

Alf gets up to his knees on the outside. COLE And we're down to two! It's Brock Ausstin against Alfdogg! Brock gets to his feet, and stares down Alf, who stares back up into the ring still on his knees. COACH This is what it had to come to, Cole! Alf slowly gets to his feet. COLE Both men wearing the crimson mask...Alf's shirt was white at the start of this match, Coach, believe it or not! COACH This is fantastic! Alf climbs onto the apron, having not taken his eyes off Brock. He then puts one foot through the ropes, before stepping through quickly, and going after Brock! COLE HERE WE GO! Alf and Brock trade blows, and once again, Brock wins. Brock whips Alf HARD into the corner, then catches him with a BIG backdrop! Brock yells out to the crowd, which lets out a loud yell, then whips Alf into the ropes, and delivers a tilt-a-whirl slam! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Brock picks up Alf, and tries to apply a full nelson, but Alf delivers a LOW KICK~! Brock is doubled over in pain, as Alf grabs the barbed wire bat, and drills Brock right between the eyes! Alf then drags Brock out, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!! COLE And Alf hooking the Sharpshooter! COACH Alf wants to end this by making Brock give it up, it appears! COLE No chance! No quitters in this match! Brock screams in pain, as he pushes up, and tries to scoot to the ropes. COLE Brock trying DESPERATELY to reach out and grab something! Brock scoots to the ropes. After a couple pushes, Alf pulls him back out to the center! COACH Ohhh yeah! Get ready, for the new champion, Cole! Alf sits back on the hold, as Brock still refuses to give up! Brock begins to fade, but gets one last surge of adrenaline! COLE And Brock coming back once again! Brock gathers his strength, and makes it over to the ropes! COLE And he got to the ropes! No new champion yet, Coach! Alf releases the hold, then waits for Brock to get up. Alf delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH But it's coming, Cole! Starting now! Alf picks up Brock, and delivers a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! Alf then picks Brock up slowly, and goes for the WHIPLASH~!!!, but Brock slips behind the back. He then spins Alf around, delivers a foot to the gut, and delivers the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE BROCK HIT IT!!! But he can't cover! Brock is too out of it to make a cover. Both men lay on the mat for a few seconds, before Brock starts to stir. He drags himself over to Alf, and drapes an arm over... 1... 2... ... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! COLE A FRACTION of a second away! Brock just didn't have the strength to cover in time! Brock rolls to his back and puts his hands on his head for a second, then gets to his feet, as Alf slowly gets to his. Alf goes to the eyes, then motions to the back. COLE And Alf just gave a signal to the back, but no one's getting in this thing, forget it! Brock delivers a knee to the gut, then picks Alf up, turns, and drives him into the mat with a spinebuster! The crowd is oohing and ahhing, as the camera cuts to the entryway, to show a GIGANTIC man making his way down the aisle to the ring? COLE OH MY GOD... COACH What the hell is that? COLE Well, he came out after Alf made that motion to the back... Brock hooks Alf in a SHARPSHOOTER~!, as the mammoth man is approached by an official, who he knocks to the floor cold with a simple backhand! COLE Oh my goodness, he just manhandled that official! The man then grabs the Chamber door, barbed wire and all, and RIPS IT RIGHT FROM THE HINGES! C/C :o He tosses the door to the side, then climbs onto the apron, steps over the top rope, and grabs Brock from behind in a chokehold! COLE I...this must be who Alf was talking about earlier when he said "we got him!" COACH But WHO IS HE? The man delivers a headbutt from behind, dropping Brock in a hurry! COACH Look at him manhandle Brock Ausstin! Unbelievable! He grabs Brock around the throat, and delivers a CHOKESLAM~! The man slaps himself on the chest, drawing boos, then picks up Brock and whips him into the corner, delivering an AVALANCHE~! COLE And Brock CRUSHED in the corner! This man has got to be well over 500 pounds, Coach! COACH Well over 7 feet tall, to boot! The masked man picks up Brock on his shoulders next, then spins him around into a Boss Man Slam! COLE And what a move that was! Alf crawls over towards Brock, as the masked man stands over them. COLE Oh no, don't tell me this is how it ends! Alf drapes an arm over Brock... COLE KICK OUT, BROCK! 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YEAH!!! COLE DAMN IT!!! *DING DING DING* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Alfdogg (pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER [i]The winner of the contest...and NNNNNNNEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heartland champion...ALFDOGG!!!!![/i] COLE I can't believe this! Alfdogg has won the Heartland title for the third time, thanks to this, this MONSTER is the best I can put it! I'm sure this Thursday on HeldDOWN, we'll be hearing more about this guy! COACH *clapping* Whew! That was unbelievable, Cole! What an incredible match! The masked man helps Alf up, as Team Canada runs into the ring to celebrate. The referee hands Alf the belt, and the masked man hoists Alf up over his shoulder, as Alf has just enough energy and consciousness to raise the belt high. COLE Well, folks, it's a shame it had to end the way it did. But tonight, six men gave you everything they had! A lot of blood, a lot of sweat, and certainly a lot of tears, as well! Careers have been altered for good! And when the smoke settled, we have a new OAOAST Heartland champion, and for the third time in his career, it's Alfdogg holding the belt up high! But I'm certain he hasn't heard the last of Brock Ausstin! Brock is still unconscious on the mat, as the masked man lets Alf down, long enough for him to put a foot on Brock's chest and raise the belt. COLE Oh, give me a break! Alf then rolls to the outside, and the masked man carries him to the back, as Team Canada is pumped. COACH So, how are you gonna top that? COLE It's going to be really, really tough, no doubt about it. Right now, let's go back to Josh!

*insert graphic* The crowd goes CRAZY as the lights go out and the Chamber lowers from the ceiling, showered by strobes. (The lights in the arena remain out through all the entrances, with only a light illuminating the ring and the entryway, unless otherwise noted.) COLE And it's time for the second incarnation of the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! Six men step into this demonic structure, completely encrusted with barbed wire, one man will walk out the OAOAST Heartland champion! *Cut to the back, where Brock Ausstin is shown emerging from his locker room.* COACH And here comes the champ! COLE Let's not wait any longer, let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Invitational Chamber of Hell match, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Allow me to explain the rules. The six participants received their order of entry by way of random drawing, and in just a few short moments, I will introduce the four participants who will start the match inside the 8x5 steel cells. The cells will then be risen into the air until they reach the top of this chamber, whose roof stands 24 feet from the floor! Afterwards, I will introduce the two competitors who will start the match inside the ring. These two men will do battle for five minutes, at which point one of these cells will be lowered from the ceiling of the Chamber, and another man will enter the battle. This pattern will continue until all six men have entered the battle. Eliminations may only take place via pinfall or submission, and the one man remaining at the end of the match will be the NEW OAOAST Heartland champion! ARE YOU READY?[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]San Antonio, Texas...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYY?????[/i] *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER [i]Then for the thousands in attendance here at the Alamo, and the millions and MILLIONS watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] The arena goes black, and [i]Debonaire[/i] by Dope hits and boos fill the arena as Gunner Sharps makes his way down the aisle. He is wearing blue jeans and pushing a shopping cart filled with various weaponry. COLE And here comes the man who will enter the frey after everyone, due to having the best Beat-the-Clock time! BUFFER [i]Introducing the first participant...hailing from Detroit, Michigan, and weighing in at 375 pounds...GUNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] COACH The biggest man in the match, and the last entrant in the match! That's got to give him a big edge! The official opens the door for Gunner, who walks in and steps into his cell, taking his cart with him. COLE And obviously Gunner doesn't like to share! Gunner's cell raises to the top of the cage, and [i]Renagade[/i] hits as the arena goes black again and the boos escalate. When the baseline kicks in, the entryway and ring lights come back on, and Reject makes his way out. He's attired in light blue jeans and ripped, sleeveless Yankee pinstripes. pushing a plastic garbage tote filled with weapons. COLE But I don't think Reject's going to have a choice! COACH Yeah, I don't know if that one'll fit in one of those cells! BUFFER [i]From The Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!![/i] Reject pushes the tote into the Chamber, then digs out a stapler gun and a barbed wire bat, and takes them into a cell, which then raises up in the air. COACH A little's better than none, though! The arena goes black once again. [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and the boos hit their peak as Alfdogg walks through the curtains, in his normal ring attire, with a red sleeveless flannel. He has nunchucks hanging from each side of his pants, and is dragging a big camouflage bag behind him in his right hand, and what appears to be a case for a musical instrument in his left. He also is wearing a Dirk Nowitzki jersey underneath the flannel, which obviously doesn't sit well with the majority of the fans. COLE And Alf certainly not endearing himself to the fans in San Antonio! BUFFER [i]Weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!![/i] COACH What could be in those things, Cole? COLE Who knows with Alf...but I somehow doubt he's going to be practicing the tenor sax in his cell while he waits! Alf stops to take off his flannel, then removes the Nowitzki jersey and throws it out into the crowd. He then puts the flannel back on and goes into his cell with his equipment, and it raises to the ceiling. The crowd then goes NUTS as a cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." [i]Punishment[/i] by BIOHAZARD hits, and Brock Ausstin makes his way out, in his normal ring attire. BUFFER [i]And from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 305 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!![/i] COLE And listen to the eruption from the fans in San Antonio! COACH So, now we know that it'll be Thunderkid and Colombian Heat starting us off! Brock, who came down unarmed, hands his belt to the referee, then goes into his cell, which is directly across from Alf's, and the two trash-talk one another from across the way as the cell is raised. COLE Brock came unequipped, but of course the wrestlers do have access to the items underneath the ring, and who knows what you'll find under there! BUFFER [i]And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's introduce the two participants who will start the match in the ring! [i]Gasolina[/i] by Daddy Yankee hits, and fire explodes around the entryway as Colombian Heat makes his way to the ring to a nice pop, pulling behind a cactus in a wagon. He is attired normally, except he has on black cargo pants instead of his usual basketball shorts. BUFFER [i]Hailing from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 180 pounds...COOOOOOOOOOLOMBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!![/i] COLE And perhaps the most impressive run of the six combatants in recent weeks was made by this man, Colombian Heat! Remember a few weeks ago in that big ten-man elimination match, he was able to score a pinfall on Alf, then last night, when we were live in El Paso, Heat scored a pinfall on Reject in a tag team match! I think this is really anybody's match to win! COACH Interesting choice of a weapon by Heat, I'll say that much for him! Heat rolls into the ring and poses on the second rope, as the crowd cheers. [i]God of Thunder[/i] hits, and the crowd pops big time as yellow smoke fills the entryway, and yellow strobes hit Thunderkid as he makes his way through the smoke and to the ring. BUFFER [i]And from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!![/i] COLE And another guy who's been on fire since his big win over PRL at AngleSlam! TK is wearing a torn black T-shirt with black jeans. He has his fists taped, and is equipped with a kendo stick, as well as a chest protector which has thumbtacks sticking out in the front! COLE And of course, TK made good use of that one in the first Chamber match, which Alf and Reject were also a part of! TK enters the chamber, then slides into the ring and takes in the cheers of the fans as he stands on the buckles. An overhead shot of the Chamber is shown. COLE What a view, eh? COACH What, are you going Canadian on us now, too? TK and Heat stand across the ring from one another as the referee raises the belt in the air. He then takes it to the timekeeper and tells him to ring the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH This is it! COLE The most vicious match in the history of the OAOAST, back in its second incarnation! TK and Heat circle the ring, and tie up. Both jockey for position, before Heat takes TK to the mat with an armdrag! COLE Nice move by Heat, TK looks a little surprised! TK gets up and circles the ring once again, then the two tie up once again. After a brief struggle, TK tosses Heat right across the ring into a corner! Heat looks at TK for a second, then pops up and charges. TK sidesteps Heat, and sweeps his leg out from under him! Heat charges again, and TK picks him up in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And TK showing off that power early! TK holds Heat for a few seconds, then slams him HARD down to the mat! Heat holds his back, then TK measures him and clotheslines him over the top to the floor! COACH And we're out on the floor already here! TK follows Heat to the outside, then reaches into the tote which Reject brought out, and pulls out a STOP sign. TK measures Heat, and SLAMS the sign right over his head! COACH Ooooh! COLE And that STOP sign with a THUD right over the head of Colombian Heat! TK then takes the sign and gets a running start, then puts it under his legs as he jumps in the air, and lands on Heat! TK tosses the sign down, then picks up Heat, and whips him into the side of the Chamber! COLE And Heat back-first into the barbed-wire and cage! TK approaches Heat slowly, but when he gets to him, Heat grabs his legs and trips him to the ground. COLE Oh, a slingshot, perhaps? Heat scoots away from the Chamber so he doesn't fall back on it, then delivers a SLINGSHOT, sending TK into the wall! COACH Yes! COLE TK goes with the momentum into the Chamber Wall! Heat then delivers a SUPERKICK to TK! COLE And already we've got blood, coming from the head of TK! Heat picks up TK and tosses him back into the ring, then grabs a chair from underneath the ring. He slides in and lays it across the face of TK, then backs up, and comes in with a quick legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First cover of the match gets two, as Colombian Heat looking excellent in the early going, just over two minutes gone by! Heat picks up TK, and delivers a vertical suplex! Heat then points to the top rope, as the crowd cheers him on. COACH Heat's going up! Heat climbs up top, as TK reaches for the chair. Heat gets his balance, then leaps off, as TK lifts the chair, and Heat flies right into it! COLE And TK blocking the move with the steel chair! TK gathers his senses, then slides to the outside and grabs the cactus that Heat brought down. COACH He's going to use Heat's own weapon against him! Heat attempts a baseball slide, which TK sidesteps, then delivers a savate kick! TK rolls Heat back into the ring, then follows him. TK delivers a FALCON ARROW~! 1... 2... Kickout! TK slides out and pushes the cactus into the ring, then sets it up in the corner. TK picks Heat up, and whips him into the cactus! COLE And this time Heat into the cactus back-first! TK grabs the steel chair, then charges Heat and dropkicks it into him, smashing him into the cactus once again! COACH Oh, double whammy that time! TK scoops up Heat, and delivers a fallaway slam! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! TK drags Heat over to the cactus, and rakes his face on it! COLE And TK VICIOUS in his attack! COACH And we've got another one bleeding after that! COLE He got Heat good on that one! So, about four minutes into this thing, and already we've got two guys cut! COACH We're gonna add a third guy to the frey in about a minute, Cole! I can't wait to see who it is! TK tries to pick Heat up again, but receives a LOW BLOW~! for his trouble! Heat then pulls the chair over, and delivers a DDT! COLE And a DDT on the chair! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat picks up TK, and executes a RUNNING POWERBOMB~! COLE There's the Drive-By, as Heat looks to be setting him up here! 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat whips TK HARD into the corner, and catches him with a HURRICANRANA on the way back! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! COLE And Heat really going for it here! Heat attempts an Irish whip, but TK blocks, then pulls him in for a clothesline! Both men are out of it, as the countdown begins... COACH Here we go, Cole! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

The fuck's this in Classics for?