alfdogg

Don't mind Hoff, he's drunk

What I meant was Daniels makes guys like Jackson and Fred Jones more expendable for that sort of thing. Obviously they didn't make that trade to just turn around and trade Daniels. Should have been more clear I guess.

Holy crap. That's awesome. I hate to see Austin go, but Daniels was probably the closest we were going to get to Ron Artest defensively, and it also gives us some more leverage to work out a deal for Harrington.

Lindsey Hunter stays with Detroit. Trade rumor has Derek Fisher going to Utah for Devin Brown, Keith McLeod and Andre Owens.

You're in now. Sorry about that. Thanks to Papacita for the graphic.

Thanks

Show's up.

For those unfamiliar with Battlebowl, the wrestlers (in this case, 32 of them) are drawn at random into teams (in this case, 16 teams). For example, Zack Malibu and Peter Knight are drawn, followed by Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican. The match would then be Zack/PK vs Leon/PRL. The winning teams will advance to the Battlebowl battle royal, which in this case would include 16 men, in which the winner would then receive a shot at the World championship at AngleSlam in August. There will be a World championship match at the show, as well. This thread will be the sign-up thread. I'm signing up Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, and Jumbo for now. I could pull one or more out.

Credits Alf PK NYU PFL Tony Adam Bruce EWC KC LDP Papacita

PRESENTS BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~ ! COLE The fireworks are appropriate because it's the 4th of July, baby! Welcome to the Big Apple, Madison Square Garden, New York City, this is BATTLEBOWL~! I'm Michael Cole along with the Coach, and Coach, tonight 32 men go out there in tag matches with no knowledge of their friends or enemies to try to get to a battle royal, in which the winner earns a shot at the OAOAST World championship at AngleSlam!!! COACH That's right, Michael, and normally I'd give a favorite for matches like these right from the get-go, but I can't do that tonight! I'd love to declare Drek Stone the favorite for this event, but what happens if he and Hoff wind up on different teams? COLE Yes, indeed, Drek Stone, as well as the defending Battlebowl champion, Hoff, both a part of this event! Also tonight, you'll see the OAOAST debut of "The Capturist" Zane Maxwell, as he takes on Dance Dance Dragon one-on-one, and then, it's the rematch from the Great Angle Bash, Coach! COACH Oh yeah, it's going to be Alfdogg defending his Heavyweight championship of the World against Reject, inside of a steel cage! COLE It's going to be exciting, no question about it! Now, in just a short while, you'll be seeing some great Battlebowl tag match action. However, during a Battlebowl press conference held earlier today, new OAOAST superstar Longdogger Pete held his first interview since his arrival, and we're going to show you that right now. (Screen cuts away to the image of a press room where Longdogger Pete takes questions from reporters. An image on the bottom of the screen reads "Earlier Today.") Q Pete, you've made short work of your first opponent in OAOAST, The Sadist. How are you feeling physically at this time? PETE I'm feeling pretty good. I'm looking forward to the Battlebowl tonight. Q Pete, you're turning 40 this month, you haven't held a title of any kind in four years, and due to various aggregate injuries you've only wrestled two competitive matches in the last two years, having turned to announcing duties as a fallback. What makes you think you're prepared for a full-time return here in the OAOAST? PETE My "injuries" are no longer a concern. My knees have undergone rehabilitation and I have been medically cleared to compete once again on a full-time level. I'm here to do what I do best - wrestle at a competitive level, earn the respect of the fans once again, and become a champion here in the OAOAST. Q Your last match in the SWF was against your own son, Kevin Coyote. After he defeated you, your SWF contract was terminated. What is your opinion of your son right now and has your relationship with him changed? PETE Let me tell you something about Kevin Coyote. There's a rumor going around that he "carried" me during that match. I just want to say one thing. Sure the ratings were up while Coyote tried to take me out of the SWF. But once that happened, and he had nothing else to fight for, his stock dropped in the company, to the point where he was taken off TV entirely, sent back to the minors for seasoning. That doesn't sound like the makings of a true champion to me. Q As the OAOAST fans already know, you are not the first competitor from SWF to appear on OAOAST television. Bruce Blank and Bloodshed are recent examples. Do you plan on allying with these individuals, and does this signal the start of an "invasion" of sorts? PETE I am not in any way affiliated with Bruce Blank or Bloodshed, and in fact, don't even know them very well except that I've called a few of their matches. Q Pete, any plans on resurrecting X Force Nine at this time? PETE (chuckling) Next question, please. Q Pete, the audience reaction in your debut match was decidedly mixed. What makes you think you can win over a new fan base? PETE Many superstars in this bid'ness attempt to reach the top by demanding respect. Not me. I don't ask for anyone's respect; I will earn it by competing at the best of my ability to prove my talent in each and every match. One doesn't need to carry a belt to act, or feel, or be treated like, a champion. Nevertheless, a championship is one of my goals here. However, my primary goal is clear - to make an immediate and impactful presence in the OAOAST and introduce my style to a new set of fans. Q Longdogger Pete, thank you for your time, and good luck tonight. PETE Thank you. *The camera cuts to two seperate locker rooms consisting of the faces and heels.* COLE And there you see the 32 participants in their respective locker rooms, waiting with baited breath on their names to be called! Let's get things underway with our first matchup, let's go to the man at the tumbler tonight, "Mean" Gene Okerlund, who will be assisted by Maria!

Getting no more than a little comfort from this fate, Knight walks over and spits at Doggah before stomping off back up the ramp, furiously shoving away referees from his path. Back in the ring meanwhile, Bruce has some choice words for the man who commentated on so many of his matches in the SWF. His words take too long to speak however, giving Leon time to collect himself and sneak up behind the Trailerpark Messiah. He even has time to gauge whether to do what he's thinking of doing or not. General consensus is 'yes'. So Rodez leaps, firing off a standing dropkick... ...and Bruce teeters.. ...totters... ...AND TOPPLES TO THE FLOOR! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YEEAAHH!! THERE GOES THE OTHER WILDCARD! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRUCE BLANK LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Longdogger Pete ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Four men gone in quick succession and suddenly, we are down to the final seven! And one of these seven is going to AngleSlam! We're now left with Leon Rodez, Thunderkid, Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Hoff, Drek Stone and Tha Puerto Rican. And it's Tha Puerto Rican who is the most pro-active of the seven. Granted, Hoff, Drek and Bo are down on the canvas so they don't count. But still. PRL sneaks up behind Rodez and waits for him to turn around, stalking the man who ended his record setting 24/7 Championship reign 3 months ago. Slowly but surely, Rodez waves big Bruce bye-bye, before turning back around. Seeing PRL waiting on him, The Silky Smooth One instinctively charges in with a clothesline. But, PRL ducks the arm, catching Leon at the side... ...LATIN SLAM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd give Tha Puerto Rican a typically heated reception, as he lays the verbal smackdown on the fallen Rodez. However, he'd be better served paying attention to opponents who aren't lying prone on the canvas. I.e Brock Ausstin, who spins PRL around and hoists him up onto the shoulders... ...F-STUNNER-... ...NO! Thunderkid pulls PRL to safety and basically commandeers his recent rival's arm, using it to aid a double clothesline on Brock! COLE Thunderkid is no fan of PRL, but he's not stupid either. He knows that Brock is a major threat in this Battle Royal and it's going to be easier to eliminate him with four hands rather than two, no matter who's hands they may be. Yanking his arm back, Tha Puerto Rican glares at TK...so TK lamps him with a right hand! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Well, so much for that. Across the ring, Hoff and Drek have collected themselves and continue to work as a team, stomping away on Bohemoth in a corner. Meanwhile, PRL pulls himself back up and turns into Thunderkid, who puts him down with another right hand. Rolling to a seated position The Corporate Champion begs off and calls for a timeout. Buying Brock time to pull himself up, catching Thunderkid from behind with a waistlock, throwing him overhead with a Release German Suplex!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Next to his feet, PRL wanders in towards Brock. By the wrist, a sudden jerk brings the Puerto Rican jerk in, throat first into Brock's massive forearm with a short-arm clothesline! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Man, Brock is just so explosive! COACH And it seems to be drawing some favourable reactions from parts of this Madison Square Garden crowd. Looking around the ring, Brock is the only person standing who's not busy stomping on a Meterosexual and he afford himself the time to take a quick breather. However, in that time, into shot sneaks Leon Rodez, shotting high with a standing dropkick! Down goes Brock, but he is straight back up. So is Leon, unloading with right hands on the former Heartland Champion and eventually backing him up against the ropes. Still the big right hands connect, Brock staggered up against the ropes until finally he pushes out and sends Rodez tumbling backwards. Rolling back through to his feet, Leon doesn't give up on the fight, striding in towards Brock... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...make that a trio. But Brock shakes the chops off and DRIVES his knee into the ribcage of The Silky Smooth One, the force actually taking Leon off his feet before he drops chest-first into the canvas. Reaching down, Brock grabs hold of Leon's freshly gelled hair and drags him straight back up to his feet, locking on a waistlock from the front. Brock positions himself with his back to the ring ropes and looks to throw Rodez over the top with a belly to belly. Leon reaches out and pushes the top rope, preventing the first attempt. Maintaining the waistlock, Brock sets to try again...but Rodez tries to fight his way out, slamming a double ear-clap across either side of Brock's head! With his ears ringing and his balance screwed up, Brock becomes prone to a second double ear clap! And a third! Finally Brock's grip is broken, freeing Leon to cup his hands behind the head and fall back, bringing Brock down sternum first across his knee with an Inverted Lungblower... ...the force of which sending Brock recoiling back... ...sending Brock OVER THE TOP... ...HANGING OVER THE TOP... ...BUT HE SAVES HIMSELF!! COLE Wow, Brock was teetering on the brink for a moment there! Pushing himself back into the ring with a hand on the ring apron, Brock catches Leon on the turn with a big Lariat, wiping him out to some scattered cheers and more freely scattered boos. Before Brock can celebrate for too long however, Hoff navigates safely across the ring, stepping over fallen bodies to get to The Current Big Thing and chop the bigman down to size with a knee clip. A low knee clip, which is infact aimed more at the ankle. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Brock writhes on the mat holding the lower part of his leg, much to the amusement of Hoff. Hovering over Brock, Hoff scrapes the sole of his boot across the face in a display of pure and not entirely unexpected disrespect. The man of many t-shirt designs scrapes the boot across the face again, before dropping a knee across Brock's sternum, just to keep him quiet. "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" Stopping in his tracks, Hoff looks out around MSG, trying to find the source of the faint chant... "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" ...a faint chant which some others are picking up on... "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" ...still not a full accusation by New York, but vocal enough to be picked up on by Hoff. COACH Oh come on now, that's just...just...medically unproven! COLE And yet, somehow I don't think the minority of people who are chanting really care. COACH Why you gotta be hating on minorities? COLE Fuming at the chants, Hoff tries not to go into Roid Ra... uhm... uh... that is to say, NON Roid Rage... yeah, that outta cover it... but still gives the section of fans a piece of his mind. Back to the match, as as Hoff now lays in a choke on Brock, PRL pulls Thunderkid from the canvas and to his feet. And despite being almost as groggy as his adversary, PRL is the one on the attack. Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! Stop, glance, Corporate Eyebrow, spit, pu... ...DUCKED! Thunderkid ducks the vaunted spit punch and tosses PRL over the top... ...BUT PRL GRABS THE TOP ROPE AND HANGS ON FOR DEAR LIFE... "YYEEEEEEEEE......" COACH C'MON PR, C'MON... ...AND SKINS THE CAT BACK INSIDE!!! "...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH ATTA BOY! COLE Is Caboose paying you to route for PRL? COACH 18 quid. Of course, I don't know what a 'quid' is, but I'm reliably informed that it's a lot stronger than the American dollar. COLE Well, duh! Planting his feet safely back on terra-firma, the ever cocky Corporate Champion takes a moment to revel in his mini victory, before turning around to find Thunderkid waiting on him! A boot to the gut doubles PRL over, setting him up for an irish whip. Back shoots PRL, into a clothesline attempt from TK, which PRL manages to glide underneath! Tha Puerto Rican continues to glide for another foot or so, before skidding to a halt and encouraging Thunderkid around... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KIL... ...NO! Thunderkid pushes PRL off into the ropes, blocking the Cappa Killer. Back shoots The P.R Menace once more, building up a head of steam as he soars in with a flying forearm. Trouble being, TK has this scouted. With a swift sidestep, Thunderkid is able to catch Tha Puerto Rican in his arms like a flying baby. PRL panics, flailing around in TK's arms despairingly as TK slowly backs across the ring. And then, once he is in a suitable ring position, Thunderkid throws PRL overhead with a Fallaway Slam... ...OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO!!! COLE THERE GOES PRL!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pulling himself back to his feet, Thunderkid looks down with satisfaction at the elimination as a couple of referee swarm over to PRL to check that he's okay. Which he probably is, despite his high-pitched whining. COLE So, we won't be seeing another meeting between PRL and Alfdogg at AngleSlam! COACH Nevermind that, PRL could be seriously hurt! Did you see the way that sadistic bastard Thunderkid threw him over the top rope!? COLE I'm sure he'll be fine Coach, don't worry yourself. Thunderkid now goes for the free body in the match, backing Leon up into a corner and lifting the 24/7 Champion's legs off the canvas in one quick movement! Before Rodez knows what's happening, he's in a precarious position across the top rope and to the squeals of the females in the Garden, he looks to be in big trouble! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The fans will Leon on, as Thunderkid tries to gain some traction on the ring canvas, barging away as The Silky Smooth One wraps his arms around the top turnbuckle for safety. Thunderkid has no time for that though, firing off a headbutt into the midsection! And a second! Grabbing the legs, TK then flips Leon off to one side... ...BUT LEON HANGS ONTO THE BUCKLE, SWINGING HIMSELF ONTO THE APRON! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Noticing that he didn't quite get the job done with that, TK looks to kick Leon out of BattleBowl anyway...but doesn't get the chance, as Hoff wheels him around by the arm and clubs him down with a lunging clothesline! And before Hoff has a chance to get to Leon, Brock wheels him around, rocking him with a flurry of right hands! Off brawl Brock and Hoff. Giving Leon time to pull himself to his feet on the apron, looking down at Thunderkid before shrugging his shoulders and scaling the turnbuckles. TK doesn't seem to be aware of his surroundings, not rolling out of harm's way, as Leon steadies himself up top, making sure he doesn't take a costly fall to the floor, before tumbling off with the 450 SPLASH!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE 450 to Thunderkid! What a risk to take in a match like this, but it paid off for the 24/7 Champion! As Leon rolls away holding his ribs, Drek has now let up on Bohemoth and strides over to give Hoff a hand against Brock Ausstin. A hand which reaches around and rakes Brock's eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blinded, Brock lashes out like the animal that he is. Drek is able to avoid his wild swings though, picking his spot with a basement dropkick, aimed pinpointly at the same right ankle that Hoff had clipped out earlier. Whether Drek knew that or not is irrelevant, as Hoff pats him on the back for a job well done, before pointing across the ring. The prone frames of Thunderkid and Rodez are too much to resist. And already smiling away, the power team of BattleBowl stride over and split off. Drek takes Rodez, while Hoff pulls Thunderkid to his feet. A knee to the gut weakens TK up, before Hoff simply takes him by the head... ...AND PITCHES HIM TO THE FLOOR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE THUNDERKID, GONE! COACH So much for that friendly competition thing at AngleSlam then. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: PRL ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dusting off his hands, Hoff then points to Drek, telling him it's 'your turn'. And with a wry smile, Drek obliges, throwing Leon over the top... COLE RODEZ, GO.. ...BUT LEON CLINGS ONTO THE ROPES LIKE A SPIDER-MONKEY, GRAPEVINING THE BOTTOM ROPE AND HANGING ON DESPAIRINGLY!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE NO! No, he's not gone! Looking collectively agitated, Drek and Hoff look to rectify things. However, they don't reckon on Brock Ausstin, catching Hoff with a forearm before grabbing Drek away from Rodez... who is therefore able to roll back into the ring... hoisting him onto his shoulder and... *WHAAAM!* ...F - STUNNER - 5~!1!!1!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Popping back to his feet, Brock lets out a might roar... ...and gets tripped by Hoff, who clamps the ANKLELOCK on the right ankle!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE From out of nowhere, Hoff has got that crippling submission move clamped in!! COACH Oh, he gots him! COLE The same ankle both Hoff and Drek targetted moments earlier. You have to wonder if they came in with a gameplan to chop the bigmen like Brock down and target the ankles. COACH I don't doubt it. As Hoff rips and tears with the Anklelock, Brock's unphasability disappears as he yells out in pain with each crank of the ankle. On instinct alone Brock crawls towards the ropes, which would be an escape if it wasn't a Battle Royal. But Brock can be forgiven for not thinking too straight right now considering the pain he's clearly in and he continues to crawl hand over hand, the ropes in sight. Reaching out, Brock's fingers brush the ropes. But Hoff isn't bothered either way, as he wrenches at the ankle, crank after crank, twisting Brock's foot like a peppercorn grinder. Until suddenly, the foot is no longer in his hands. And his hands are reaching despairingly for the ropes... ...and missing. "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOOO!! COLE HOFF IS GONE!! HOFF IS GONE!! THE REIGNING BATTLEBOWL CHAMPION GOT BLINDSIGHTED BY... BY BOHEMOTH!! COACH NOOOOOOOOO!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOFF LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: Tony Brannigan (co), Thunderkid ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No sooner has he hit the floor than Hoff scrambles back to his feet, glancing only for a moment at the roaring fans before looking up wondering what the hell just happened. The answer stares him right in the face, as Bohemoth cooly shrugs his shoulders. Gobsmacked, Hoff and his secksy goatee are shuffled off by the referees, everything eventually setting in at which point Hoff takes his frustrations out on the nearest section of guardrail, kicking it and causing the fans gathered around it to barely supress heart attacks. COLE And just like that, we are down to the Final Four! Final Four: Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Drek Stone and Leon Rodez Bohemoth calmly stalks around the ring, with Drek KOed and Leon keeping himself clear of the action for the time being, as he sees Big Bo's eyes firmly locked on Brock Ausstin. Limping to his feet, Brock grimaces a little as he hobbles 180, sensing as much. Bohemoth is staring him down. And Brock isn't going to back down! COACH Hooohoooboy!! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" The MSG crowd are, surprisingly, somewhat split. It seems about 75:25, but the support for Brock is there, the fans perhaps caught up in this face-off between two of the biggest, roughest and badassiest men in the OAOAST today! COLE Now, this is a face-off and a half! Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, as far as I can remember the first time these two have come eye to eye! COACH This is gonna be sick. After a brief, wordless game of chicken, Bruce comes forward and strikes... *CRACK!* ...landing a forearm! Bohemoth still seems a little woozy from the beatdown Hoff and Drek had handed out to him for so much of the match, but manages to fight back... *CRACK!* ...with an elbow strike! Brock wobbles but doesn't go down, regaining his bearings... *CRACK!* ...landing another snug forearm strike! Bo is spun away by the force but that just fires the former bodyguard up, clenching his fists as he whips back around... *CRACK!* ...and connects with a THUNDEROUS elbow strike! Put into reverse, The Current Big Thing goes back four or five steps with his gaze looking decidedly off centre as he tries to steady himself. COLE These two men going toe to toe, strike for strike! And neither man seems to be backing down! COACH This is full contact at it's best! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" Defiant, Bohemoth watches Brock and seems to be almost waiting on a response... *CRACK!* ...and he comes firing right back with another elbow! This one connects across the ear and sends Bo off to the side, eyes frozen wide in surprise momentarily, before he shakes away the imaginary fireflys inside his head... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and a STINGING, straight right jab to the cheek, catching Brock completely by surprise! COLE This is just brutal! And Brock is still standing! COACH Barely. Just barely. Neither man seems all that steady on their feet as they try to collect their thoughts in the centre of the ring. Seeing this as a prime opportunity, Leon quickly scuttles himself out of the corner and jogs over to the scene, ready to strike...until both heads turn towards him. Smiling nervously, very nervously, Leon throws up a peace sign and encourages Brock and Bohemoth to 'carry on, pretend I'm not here'. Too late for that though, as Bohemoth shoves Brock aside, scooping Leon up and PLANTING him with a Front Spinebuster!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Bo pops straight back to his feet, ready to pick up where he left off with Brock...but turns around, into a hoist... ...BUT BROCK'S ANKLE GIVES WAY!! COLE Oh! I'm not sure if Brock would have got the FStunner5 even if his ankle was okay, but unfortunately that's a non issue, because his ankle isn't okay! Sliding down the back, Bohemoth turns Brock around to face him. Brock is awaiting that very move however and shocks Bo with a double leg. This time, the ankle holds out, long enough for Brock to charge Bo across the ring. Heading towards the top rope, Bo tries to think quickly for a way to escape... ...but soon finds himself toppling over... ...clinging onto Brock in the hope of saving himself... ...BUT ONLY SUCCEEDING IN BRINGING BROCK OVER THE TOP WITH HIM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh my, Brock and Bohemoth are both gone! They eliminated each other! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BROCK AUSSTIN LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Otaku II, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH LEFT: 14th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Crystal, Hoff, Brock Ausstin ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And would you look at what that leaves us! Last year's runner-up, Leon Rodez and the former World Heavyweight Champion, Drek Stone. Last year, Leon pitched Drek out at the last three stage, only to come up one short of the BattleBowl crown. Somebody is going to get their revenge tonight, one way or the other. COACH And there's history here too Mikey. Remember a couple of years ago, these two wrestled at AngleSlam. COLE Indeed. How ironic that it would be these two now fighting to determine who will go on to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship at that very event, two years down the line! Still reeling from the F-Stunner-5, Drek stumbles back to his feet. But his mood is soon lightened as he sees the two bigmen, Brock and Bo, being surrounded by referees and told that their night is over. Now, Drek knows just two remain. And now he knows he's got a damn good shot. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The NYC crowd are solidly behind Leon now, as he uses the ropes to pull himself up after his Front Spinebuster moments earlier. And the temptation proves too strong for Drek, rushing across the ring and looking to bundle Leon out right there and then... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...only to run directly into a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second, as he doggedly tries again. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop number three finally sends Drek reeling and gives Rodez a chance for a run-up himself. Backing off the ropes, The Silky Smooth One breaks out towards The Reckless One, looking for a clothesline. No matter how hurt he is, Drek is still quick to spot a lumbering clothesline coming his way though and he throws up an arm, catching the 'line. Drek ducks behind in mid-capture and scoots behind Leon, hooking up the other arm and applying a full nelson. COACH THE RECKE... ...but Leon denies Drek his patented Dragon Suplex, locking his hands together and breaking Drek's grip European style. With Drek behind him, Leon then crouches to a knee and suddenly shoots back up, bringing Stone up with him piggyback style, looking for the Backpack Stunner he likes to call... COLE Banana Hammock... ...but Drek denies Leon his patented move, using his free arm to punch Rodez firmly in the kidneys. Not once, nor twice, but three times which finally causes Leon to drop him back to his feet. COLE Both of these men are looking fatigued now, this is just guts and willpower that's riding them through at the end! Grabbing Rodez first, a forearm is fired down by Drek into Rodez's forehead. And again. Drek then takes the moment to pound his chest in an attempt to lure the crowd, before nailing Rodez again. Before Drek can mug for the crowd again though, Rodez fights back, hitting a shot to the gut. Drek fires back, but it's Rodez again going to the gut. And again. Again, again, again! Drek is suddenly on the backfoot and the crowd are perking up, as Rodez suddenly goes for the legs of Drek. Defensively, The Reckless One wraps his arms around Leon's waist to block. COLE Rodez is trying for an elimination it seems here. COACH Which is a smart move, considering it's a battle royal. COLE No kidding. Rodez carries on going for the takedown. Drek continues to block. Until finally, with his energy sapping, Drek snaps his leg upright... *CHING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and boots Leon below the belt!! COLE NO! Not like this! As The Silky Smooth One groans in ma-pain, Drek manages to pull Rodez up off the mat and lift him up... ...STONECUTTER!!! Going limp, Rodez slumps onto his side and looks vacantly up at the lights. But Drek doesn't let up, dragging him right back off the canvas... ...STONECUTTER, AGAIN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, enough! Drek is sapped now. But by now it doesn't matter. Having done enough, Drek uses one last spurt to heave Rodez up before turning, falling in exhaustion as he throws Leon up, over the top... ...AND OUT TO THE FLOOR!!!!!!! COLE GAAAH! COACH YEEAAAHH! I told you Mikey, I told you! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, LEON RODEZ has been eliminated!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ LEFT: 15th ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Bruce Blank ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Your winner, of Battlebowl... and the NEEW Number One Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship... "RECKLESS" DRRREEEEEEKK SSSTTOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DREK STONE TEH WINN0R~! ELIMINATED: Tony Brannigan (co), Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elated but too tired to really show it, Drek smugly smiles out at the fans as referee Earl Hebner raises his arm in victory. On the floor, Leon lies motionless except for a hand pressed to his neck, as the other referees check that he's not seriously injured. COLE Two years in a row...two years in a row, Rodez is denied! And this year, it's Drek Stone, the 'comeback king', who's going to AngleSlam to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, damnit! COACH Damnit? Why damnit? Drek earnt it the hard way... COLE He relied on Hoff's help half the match, then the lowblow at the end...I don't want to take too much away from Drek. Drek versus Alfdogg at AngleSlam should be a hell of a match. I'm not going to lie and say I'm happy with this result though. COACH Too bad. COLE ...well, touché. Folks, it's another rushed ending to BattleBowl, we should really have purchased more airtime. From Michael Cole and Johnathon Coachman, the Road To AngleSlam isn't paved with gold...it's paved with Stone. Goodnight and once more, Happy 4th of July! COACH Wait, not yet! Look who's here! Alfdogg is shown standing at the entranceway with his hands on his hips. When Drek sets his eyes on Alf, Alf begins to sarcastically applaud. Drek then makes the "my belt" motion with his hands around his waist as the show hastily leaves the air. Fade to black

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FRIKKIN' HOT ENOUGH ALREADY... ANGLESLAM 2006~! AUGUST 27, 2006 LIVE! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELLITE PROVIDER TO ORDER NOW! We return back to Madison Square Garden and to the thousands of fans crammed into the country's most historic wrestling arena, ready for our multi man main event of the evening. COLE And tonight's Independence Day festivities come to a close next with the ultimate battle of independence, the 16 Person BattleBowl Battle Royal! Eight tag team matches down and eight teams remain, but those teams are now out of the window. Only one OAOAST superstar can win and go on to AngleSlam to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, making it every man, plus one woman, for themselves! COACH Political correctness gone mad! COLE Looking at the line-up, we've got 6 survivors from last year's battle royal. Brock Ausstin, Peter Knight, PRL, Leon Rodez, Drek Stone and of course Hoff were involved last year, with Drek, Leon and Hoff comprising the final three. We've got 5 former OAOAST World Champions... Knight, Drek and Hoff, plus Tony Brannigan and Crystal. And we've got a lot of potential World Champions in contention. COACH Oh, no doubt. Any of the fifteen would be viable challengers. COLE But...there's sixteen... COACH Come on, you don't buy Mister Warrior in the main event of AngleSlam do ya? Knowingly, Cole shrugs his shoulders, causing Coach to mildly freak out at the prospect of losing his job via abysmal buyrates. COLE Stranger things have happened. But just out of interest and as we get the Cage out of the way Coach, who's your money on here tonight? COACH Me? I gotta go with Hoff. COLE Really, two years in a row? COACH Yeah. He knows what it takes to win BattleBowl. And last year, he did it solo, this year he's got Drek watching his back. You heard them on Thursday night, they sounded confident, they sounded focused, they sounded like winners! COLE Well they can't both win. Eventually they'd have to fight each other...so, you're saying Hoff is better than Drek? COACH Wel...I me...look, don't be putting words into my mouth, getting me heat with the boys! Who do you think is gonna win hotshot? COLE Judging from his comments at The Great Angle Bash, I think Peter Knight has got the fire and the determination unlike no-one else in the Battle Royal. And I for one would love to see another meeting between PK and Alfdogg over the World Heavyweight Title. After what happened at School's Out, imagine how crazy that would be! With the Cage now safely removed, we're apparantly set to go as "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes hits, the neutral music to bring out all the combatants in this Battle Royal. One by one, the sixteen trudge out, lead by Peter Knight. Next comes Tony Brannigan, Tha Puerto Rican, Crystal, Brock Ausstin, Bohe...oh, wait, Mister Warrior just ran past. Him too. Then Bohemoth. Longdogger Pete, followed by Todd Cortez and Bruce Blank who are discussing strategy on the way. Behind them comes Thunderkid, then Otaku II and Leon Rodez. A brief gap is created, before the monstrous Gibraltar strides out. And finally bringing up the rear are Drek Stone and Hoff, conversing and looking with some trepidation at the 7 foot plus monster in front. COACH I think I just changed my pick. The fourteen ahead enter the ring and collect around the ropes, a few vengeful looks being exchanged before all heads turn. Gibraltar walks up the ring steps and enters over the top rope, everybody giving him a wide birth as he strides into the centre of the ring, looking around stoicly. Drek and Hoff decide to take their time, waiting at the bottom of the ramp, despite protests from the referees. COLE Okay, so is this how Drek and Hoff intend to last through the battle royal? COACH Hey why not, seems smart to me. COLE They've got to get in the ring Coach... *DINGDINGDING!* COACH You were saying? With everybody having places to be, the referees decide not to hold proceedings up any longer and ring the bell, despite Drek and Hoff loitering around ringside. But unlike most Battle Royals, the bell doesn't spark action. Everyone seems reluctant to make the first move, as Gibraltar stands tall in the centre of the ring, waiting for someone to challenge him. Nobody does, until the dumbest of the thirteen steps up. Mister Warrior does a quick 360, pumping his fists in the air before clotheslining Gibraltar. But not budging him an inch. Warrior doesn't seem to notice or care as he does a couple of laps around the monster, the other battle royalers all watching on in bemusement, as the Warrior charges in again...and gets caught with one, massive hand! Despite being choked, Warrior continues to punch the air, until Gibraltar hoists him up and almost snaps him in half with a mighty Chokebreaker!! COLE Oh, MY! Reaching down, Gibraltar slowly pulls Mister Warrior off the mat. Locking on a gutwrench, he then glares across the ring to prompt Otaku, Thunderkid and Crystal to step aside. Gibraltar then hoists Warrior up and walks across the ring, towards the unguarded ropes, which he dumps Mister Warrior over, bringing him down face-first across the ring apron with a Dominator!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Told ya! COLE My God, Gibraltar just destroyed Mister Warrior, one of the most destructifyering men in all of OAOAST history! COACH He goozled him, then pushed him into a pit of oblivion! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MISTER WARRIOR LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: 15 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gibraltar glares down at Mister Warrior as he quivers on the arena floor, before finally turning around...into an ambush! Literally EVERYONE in the ring piles over and tries to get a shot in on Gibraltar, 12 on 1 odds that even this 7 foot giant can't hope to overcome! COLE The classic strategy of going after the biggest man in the Battle Royal first, coming into full effect. But I don't think I've ever seen twelve on one before! Gibraltar tries to fight back against this onslaught, laying out Otaku II and Todd Cortez with right hands. But as soon as he puts two down, another wave of wrestlers hits him. Brock Ausstin and Bohemoth lead the way, Bruce Blank just slugging away wildly, connecting with anything in front of him. Which isn't neccessarily Gibraltar, earning him a few cautionary shoves. COLE How in the hell is Gibraltar still standing, let alone trying to push these guys off!? COACH He's not human! He's not human I tell's ya! They leave the work to everyone else, as Brock and Bo now each have a leg of the monster. Gibraltar clubs down, trying to fight them off. However, Bruce grabs at an arm and both Tony Brannigan and Longdogger Pete follow suit, keeping Gibraltar from having free limbs to fight with. The five then push forward and force Gibraltar back against the ropes, other joining in with shoves. At the back of the mob, Crystal and PRL seem to be keeping clear of trouble. And eventually, they manage to pick Leon Rodez out of the group, grabbing him by the tights and pulling him into an ambush of their own! Spotting this out of the corner of his eye, Thunderkid dives in and goes after PRL, as Crystal puts the boots to the man who took the 24/7 Title from her 9 days ago. Everyone else is focused on Gibraltar though. And together, the remaining eight bundle in and begin to lift him up! Gibraltar is struggling, but the odds are still too great. COLE He's going! He's going! With no way of reaching out for the ropes, Gibraltar's height advantage becomes a dis-advantage as he teeters over the top... ...the legs being tipped by Cortez and Knight... ...and eventually... ...HE TUMBLES OVER THE TOP, LANDING ON HIS FEET BUT EXITING BATTLEBOWL NONETHELESS!! COLE HE'S GONE! COACH COLE The biggest obstacle and the biggest threat in the entire Battlebowl is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GIBRALTAR LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Mister Warrior ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Bruce Blank, Longdogger Pete, Otaku II, Peter Knight, Todd Cortez and Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: 14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As soon as the bigman is eliminated, Hoff and Drek collectively decide now is the time to enter the ring. And collectively they slide in, going right after Tony Brannigan as he turns around, Hoff tackling him to the ground while Drek throws some wild punches at the falling foe. COLE Look at this, like a pack of damn wolves! Blank and Cortez jump Bohemoth now, Pete laying into Brock while the Heartland Champion shows his new-found confidence as he takes the fight to former World Champion Peter Knight! The Battle Royal has now taken a more familiar form as everybody 'pairs' off into their own battles, brawling away in their confined spaces, as referees now pile out from the back to try and convince Gibraltar to leave the ringside area. St. Andrew is out as well now, as the bigman doesn't seem to want to co-operate. COLE Well, with Gibraltar gone, the field is wide open. There's still some big guys in there, like Brock and Bohemoth, but no one real giant force like we saw last year with Gunner Sharps. COACH That's where Hoff and Drek have the advantage, they're two guys, not one. COLE Incisive as ever Coach. But what about Blank and Cortez? COACH Everybody hates them. COLE Everybody hates Drek and Hoff. COACH Yeah, but it's different. COLE Not much different. Rolling with the punches, Brock and Knight are backed off across opposite sides of the ring by Pete and Otaku respectively. But suddenly, they mount comebacks. Knight lunges forward and hooks Otaku off his feet with a big Lariat, while Brock catches Pete, tossing him overhead with a release belly to belly! With the Heartland Champion seeing stars, PK lays in some stomps, not realising what waits behind him. COLE Uh-oh...look at this face-off! COACH A lotta history here! Eventually Knight gets a sense that he's being stalked and looks over his shoulder, to see Brock staring him down and eventually encouraging him on. The crowd roar, ignoring the other brawls going on and focusing on the showdown in the centre. Knight squares up to Brock and words are exchanged, before PK makes the possible mistake of piefacing Brock! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh boy! In the background, Brannigan is in trouble at the hands of Drek and Hoff, who have hoisted T-Bod up onto the top rope and are trying to dump him out... ...as meanwhile, Brock snaps back to face Knight, balling up both fists. Knight dares Brock to take the first shot...and he does! But Knight fires right back! Right hand from Brock! Right hand from Knight! Brock! Knight! Brock! Knight! Bro...NO, Bruce! And Cortez! The two-thirds of The Wildcards bundle onto the scene and take the fight to two of the OAOAST's top contenders, to the vocal disappointment of the Madison Square Garden crowd. With Brock on his knees, Bruce rears back and slams a big cowboy boot into the side of the jaw to put him down. Beside him, Cortez fires off a couple of European Uppercuts on PK, before calling for Bruce and whipping Knight across, into a big boot from Blank! The former World Champion drops to the mat, drawing a smirk from Cortez. COLE Two thirds of the former 6-Man Tag Team Champions, working well together here. Could you imagine one of these two as the World Heavyweight Champion!? COACH That'd be the end of this place Mikey. COLE I don't know about that, but it'd be a bad, bad situation. COACH Hopefully it doesn't get that far. Smiling a wide, redneck grin, Blank looks around for another target to attack. Unfortunate athlete number one is Thunderkid, having mown through PRL with a clothesline, meets one in turn from The Trailerpark Messiah! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLANK C'MON, IS THAT ALL YA'LL OATTOAST GOTS!? "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" COLE AMEN! Blank's raging is directed at the crowd and earns him a round of boos. It also distracts him from the fact that Todd Cortez is flopping on the canvas like a fish behind him, thanks to a MURDERLINE~! from Bohemoth! And now, The Meterosexual Monster is standing behind Blank and waiting on him to turn around, ready to show him just what the OATTOAST gots. Blank hocks a loogie out towards ringside before turning around, that redneck sneer still etched on his face... *WHAM!* ...and wiped off, by a MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Bohemoth puts the boots to Blank, Tony Brannigan is fighting back. With right hands, Brannigan backs Drek and then Hoff up in turn before grabbing Drek by the head, preparing to throw him out of the ring...until Hoff jumps him, putting pay to that idea. Collecting himself and his partner, the reigning BattleBowl Champion then points out Brannigan and mouths to Drek to 'clobber him', joining hands with Stone before leading him in with a double clothesline. T-Bod sees the dynamic duo coming though, ducks underneath and then lays them both out with a double clothesline of his own! COLE Tony Brannigan getting a little sampler of what he intends on doing July 29th at Syndicated! Tony goes back on the offence as he picks Hoff up, barrelling him up over his shoulder and trying to dump him over the top. Frantically reaching for some help, Hoff finds none... ...however, he does manage to wrap his legs around the top rope, giving Drek time to come back and attack Tony from behind. COLE Last year's winner barely surviving there! COACH Like I said, he knows what it takes, it's his to win. Back across the ring, Tha Puerto Rican and Crystal are now teaming up on Rodez, stomping him down in the corner with PRL putting on his typical badmouth in the process. Cortez has now waded in to aid Blank against Bohemoth, which is earning him a few punches for his trouble. And now, Peter Knight is up, deciding to fight for the OAOAST's honour as he drags Cortez away into the centre of the ring, scooping him at the side and planting him with a sidewalk slam! That just leaves four now, as Thunderkid and Pete collect themselves and bring themselves back to their feet. The two turn to meet each other and plan on going after each other. Those plans are thwarted, however, by Brock Ausstin, who LAYS them out with a double clothesline!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow, listen to these fans! COACH These people just wanna see destruction! COLE I don't know, I get the feeling these people want another Alf/Brock re-run. Brock wheels around, looking a little surprised at the crowd's reaction. But he doesn't concer himself with it, instead charging across the ring with the man who took his Heartland Title 9 days ago... ...AND BUNDLING HIM OVER THE TOP WITH A CLOTHESLINE!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And there goes Otaku, admittedly one of the long shots but a guy who's been on a good run recently. COACH So much for that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OTAKU II LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin LEFT IN RING: 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Otaku tumbles to the arena floor, Brock turns back to the action. Thunderkid looks to catch him by surprise with a clothesline of his own, but the only surprise is on his part as Brock catches him coming in and lifts him up into a fireman's carry! Cue the crowd pop and a group of seventeen fans with seperate banners that spell it out better than I ever could. F S T U N N E R 5 ~ ! ! ! ! 1 ! ! COLE BAM! FStunner5! Brock is building momentum now and that's bad news for the other twelve in the ring! Next to his feet, Longdogger Pete stumbles in. Brock is waiting and again he hoists the oncoming body onto his mighty shoulders...FSTUNNER5~!1!!#1~! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Here Comes The Anguish~! COLE ... COACH Oh it's...it's something new I'm trying. You know, a cool tagline, something to hook the kids in. COLE That's real nice. Brock pops right back up. Snarl, growl, power-up... ...FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, Bohemoth cuts off the tornado known as Brock Ausstin! It's Bohemoth's turn to pop right back up from an offensive manoeuvre as he surveys the damage around him. Cool as ever, Bo turns his back to it all, in time to spot Tha Puerto Rican growing a set and charging him. Spitting at his hand in mid run, PRL looks for a rare running spit punch...which Bohemoth blocks! And before PRL even has time to panic, he takes a big right to the mush! Something must have seeped into the water in the catering area, as now Crystal steps up and tests her luck, firing off a standing dropkick that brushes off of Bohemoth's chest, putting him back a step and no more. COLE Bad move missy! COACH You realise if she knew you called her missy, then pretty soon people could call you missy...if you catch my drift. COLE Actually, Missy was my nickname for 5 and a half months... COACH ... COLE ...High School was tough. Realising she had little effect, Crystal cowers from The Meterosexual Monster. But it's all a ploy, as it allows PRL to jump him from behind! Crystal then joins in the fun and this unlikely duo continues to act as just that, double teaming Bohemoth with clubbing forearms, overhand after overhand. Taking it upon himself to direct traffic PRL then tells Crystal to hold the bigman down while he hits the ropes. Crystal smiles and nods like a good little girl, as Tha Puerto Rican shoots into the ropes... ...and finds the good girl gone bad, running in with a dropkick... ...BUT PRL HANGS ONTO THE TOP ROPE, SWINGING HIMSELF BACK IN!! COACH See, that's why you should never trust a girl...even if she is smokin' hot. COLE Especially if she's smokin' hot. COACH True dat. PRL lands on the apron and looks in shock at Crystal, asking what he could have done to deserve that double cross. Predictably, The Crown Jewel of the OAOAST is flippant about what happened, unconcerned with how angry PRL is as he re-enters the ring and SHOVES her! Crystal seems momentarily shocked, but she quickly brushes it off and SHOVES PRL! The two former 24/7 Champions are all set to square up to each other. Until, of course, the current 24/7 Champion strolls over, arms folded as he watches on. Heads slowly turn to Rodez as he mimes eating some popcorn before encouraging Crystal and PRL to just go ahead and start slugging at each other. Instead, of course, they land a double boot to the gut and put aside their differences for the moment, to hook Leon up for a double suplex. On three, they lift...but Rodez floats over the top! PRL and Crystal whip around and Crystal charges, soaring through the air with a crossbody block... ...CAUGHT, by Bohemoth! PRL tries to play night in shining armour, but is cut off by an STO Backbreaker from Rodez... ...AS BOHEMOTH DEPOSITS CRYSTAL OUT TO RINGSIDE!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CRYSTAL LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Smiling away, Rodez signals for Bo to give him 'sum skiiin' up high...but sooner than you can say 'dumb move, hotshot', Bohemoth declines Leon's offer of a high-five by mowing him down with a clothesline! "BOOOOOOOOO - YYEEAAA - OOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ooh, some of the fans didn't appreciate that. COACH Too bad. It's every man for himself and if Leon's dumb enough to throw up a five in the middle of a battle royal, he gets what he deserves. Bohemoth strides away and looks to lend a hand to former rival Tony Brannigan, laying into fellow Spinebustaaah mark Hoff from behind. Elsewhere, Blank and Cortez have rallied back on Peter Knight now and are putting the beatdown on him in one corner of the ring. After a few kicks, The Urban Legend tells Bruce that he's got everything under control, so Bruce strolls away for some more action. Just at that point, Longdogger Pete has hoisted up fellow FStunner5 victim Thunderkid onto the top turnbuckle and is looking to dump him out of the match. Pete is the nearest body to Blank and looks in line for a sneak attack...until Blank turns away, almost inexplicably cutting down Brock Ausstin with a Lariat instead. COACH Woah! Woah! Did you see that!? COLE Yeah, big clothesli... COACH No dummy, Blank had a chance to go after Pete and he passed it up! Why the hell would he do that? COLE You're not suggesting they're in cahoots Coach, are you? COACH Come on dawg, blood is thicker than water! Pete's a respected guy over there, he was with the SWF for years. Are you telling me if it comes down to these Wildcards, Pete and some unlucky OAOAST schmoo that he won't side with his SWF boys? COLE Well, maybe Bruce thinks that, but I don't see any reason to doubt the Longdogger's motives. Thunderkid fights back of his own accord and gets rid of LDP, sending him stumbling across the ring. Rather than climbing down from the turnbuckles though, TK adjusts himself so that he's sitting on the top, perched and waiting for the stomping Bruce Blank to turn around. Having put enough sole to skin, Bruce laughs down at Brock before turning around...and getting wiped out by the soaring Thunderkid, who executes a majestic crossbody from the top rope that brings MSG to it's feet! COLE Incredible agility from the 250 odd pound Thunderkid! COACH That's no small man he took down neither! As Bruce rolls himself out of harm's way, Thunderkid decides to be pro-active, grabbing Todd Cortez by the arm and pulling him into the centre of the ring. A quick flurry of right hands puts The Urban Legend on the backfoot before Thunderkid reaches down deep, and hoists Cortez overhead with a PRESS SLAM~! ... ...and DROPS him, hard! COACH BAH! Should have dumped him over the top. TK is cooking now, firing himself up, before coming face to face with Brock Ausstin! COLE And this is far from the first time these two have squared off... Not backing down, TK stuns the still woozy Brock with a quick boot to the gut. Looking around for an open strip of ring ropes to run, Thunderkid then hits those same ropes and charges back, but Brock ducks and hoists Thunderkid up onto the shoulders, for the F-STUNNER-5... ...NO! Thunderkid slides down the back and whips Brock around. A boot to the gut again finds the mark, before TK sets up the THUNDERBOLT DDT... ...NO! Brock escapes, pushing Thunderkid off. Hitting the ropes behind him, TK comes back with a Bicycle Kick, aiming for the head. Trouble is, Brock's head moves. Brock catches the incoming leg over the shoulder and wraps an arm around the waist, hooking Thunderkid up and tossing him overhead with a Capture Suplex!! COLE Amazing! Back across the ring, it's still all out war between Hoff/Drek and Tony Brannigan. Bohemoth has left the scene by now, leaving Brannigan back at a two on one disadvantage. Looking for the end, Hoff strides out into the vacated centre of the ring and counts down from three to one on his fingers. As the final finger comes down Drek then grabs Brannigan's impressively sculpted arm and shoots him out of the corner with an irish whip, towards Hoff who bends down for a Spinebuster... ...but T-Bod stops short and boots Hoff in the face! COACH Oh! Not the goatee!! Hoff goes down like a sack of proverbial potatoes, prompting Drek to try charging in. He soon regrets that decision, however, right in the middle of an Out Of Body Experience!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Now THERE'S a Spinebuster! COACH Eh, he's no Hoff. The brawling continues on, but all focus is on Brannigan now as he grabs hold of Drek's hair...what there actually is of it...dragging him back up as he signals that he's going to throw him out. A scoop sets Drek up, Brannigan hovering him over the top... ...BUT HOFF GRABS THE LEG, TRIPPING BRANNIGAN UP AND CLAMPING ON THE ANKLELOCK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE ANKLELOCK! ANKLELOCK BY HOFF!! COACH Yeah, snap it H! Drek ends up falling safely to the canvas, while Hoff cranks away on Tony's ankle! "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" The NYC crowd rally behind Brannigan, despite the outlook being considerably bleak. Hoff continues to wrench and rip at the right ankle, while Drek stands over T-Bod, landing a few kicks across the side of the head for shits and giggles, infact giggling down at Tony as he does so. Well, maybe not 'giggling' so much as laughing. Manly laughing. COLE Look at these two! This is a Battle Royal, you can't win with an Anklelock...this is just torture for the sake of torture! COACH Correction, this is a chance to break Tony's ankle before Syndicated. COLE That's even more reprehensible! Luckily for Brannigan, help is soon at hand. Rushing over to the scene, Leon Rodez lays into Hoff from behind with a forearm before going on to Drek, catching him with a shot before grabbing a leg and looking to lever Drek out of the match! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Drek snatches at the turnbuckles for some way to prevent getting dumped out, but he's teetering on the brink, his grip on the top buckle slipping as Rodez ducks his head underneath Drek's torso and puts all his weight behind a push... ...AND DREK IS... ...SAVED, as Hoff eventually drops the grip on Tony's ankle and drags Rodez off of his running buddy. "AWWWW - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Hoff lays into Rodez with a heavy forearm, dropping Rodez into a seated position in the corner. Far from pleased with his compadré, Drek shows his 'gratitude' by criticising Hoff for not helping him sooner, before giving Tony a token kick. COLE Do I sense some tension? COACH Maybe, but nothing more than me bitching you out for taking the last brownie earlier. Hoff made a mistake, Drek called him on it. No biggie. COLE ...we didn't have brownies out here... COACH It was rhetorical. Plus, it's kinda a subtle hint to whoever preps this couch every week. Together, Hoff and Drek focus their attentions on Brannigan once more. Hoff holds Brannigan in place on his knees, while Drek takes a run-up and boots T-Bod right in the face! And again! Rodez tries to help out again, but a back elbow sends him into retreat, while Hoff makes up for the lack of a third kick by throwing Brannigan face-first into the canvas! DREK Get him up! With Drek directing, Hoff heaves Brannigan's frame back up off the canvas and brings him over to the ropes. Hoff then backs off, Drek holding Brannigan in place. A quick wind-up of the arm sets up a clothesline as Hoff charges in from centre ring...not realising Brannigan has fought Drek off until it's too late... ...BUT HOFF LANDS ON THE APRON FROM T-BOD'S BACKDROP! COLE He's almost gone...almost... *CHING!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and before Brannigan can turn around to finish the job, Drek catches him with a sneaky lowblow!! COLE Damnit! T-Bod drops to his knees with a low moan, while Hoff rolls back in. Drek casts Hoff a look to say 'be more careful next time' before he and Hoff grab hold of Brannigan's head from behind, running him across the ring... ...AND SIMPLY TOSSING HIM OVER THE TOP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there goes Brannigan. That's two former Champions out of the reckoning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TONY BRANNIGAN LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Hoff, Drek Stone LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hoff and Drek smugly celebrate a job well done, as Brannigan sits up on the outside, dazed but aware of what just happened. And as he pounds the ringside padding in frustration, Leon and Bohemoth launch simultaneous attacks on Drek and Hoff! COLE Here we go, Hoff and Drek have been seperated. That's what the other guys in this match need to do if they're to have a chance of winning here tonight. Across the ring, Bruce and Cortez have Brock up and are trying to dispatch him from the battle royal. Brock is holding on and that, along with Leon and Bo's attacks has brought the crowd to their feet. The struggle goes on as Brock is in desperate need on help. But TK is still down. PRL is up. But he blatantly disregards Brock's peril and instead drags Thunderkid over to the corner to put the boots to him! It seems Brock is helpless... ...helpless... ...except for Longdogger Pete, pulling Todd Cortez off of Brock and levelling him with a right hand! Bruce then gets pulled and nailed too, before Pete goes back after Cortez. That allows Brock to re-enter the ring and hover over Peter Knight, who is watching on and waiting for an opening, with Brock on his blindside. COLE So much for Pete being in cahoots with The Wildcards. COACH Yeah well, give it time. COLE Give it time? Coach, do you not see him driving his knuckles into Cortez's face!? COACH When did you get so trusting, huh? A year ago, you'd have been all like WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP!? That was like your runner. It might be one of those set-up all along deals. Bruce shakes off the cobwebs and helps out Cortez with a rake of the eyes on Pete, throwing him into the corner and driving a succession of knees into the gut on the Doggah... ...as across the ring, Brock Ausstin has burst into life and has Peter Knight up on his shoulders!! COLE F-STUNNER-5... ...NO! Knight escapes, landing on his feet behind Brock! Stumbling forward, Brock wonders what the hell just happened, lumbering around in search of Knight...and getting nailed with a big boot! But as soon as Knight stumbles through finding his feet, Tha Puerto Rican launches into action and levels Knight with a flying forearm! Down goes Knight, as PRL turns out to the crowd, raising the Corporate Eyebrow before making the magic "belt motion" to show to the world just how darned confident he is. COLE You know PRL would love to get his hands on Alfdogg again. COACH The fact he's never won the 'big one' is a travesty and you know it. PRL's been one of the top superstars in this company for years. Years! COLE He just might get his chance at AngleSlam. PRL takes his time as he weighs up his options, deciding to lay into PK with some patent pending (as well as law suit) shaky leg kicks. Little realising that Longdogger Pete has just been driven into the canvas with what seemed like a Clothesline/STO combo from Bruce and Cortez, PRL continues to lay in the kicks, until Bruce swaggers over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. Turning around and finding himself completely outmatched for size, PRL takes evasive action, running and ducking underneath Bruce's right paw. On the other side however, Cortez is waiting. Scooping PRL up, Cortez turns and PLANTS Tha Puerto Rican with a Sitout Spinebuster! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderkid is down. PK is down. Pete is down and now PRL is down. Just now pulling himself to his feet is Brock Ausstin though, giving Bruce something to aim at with a hard punch. Brock doesn't go down from the barroom esque strike, which surprises Bruce for a second before he follows up with a hooking clothesline, dropping Brock finally. COLE The Wildcards are taking over. This isn't good. COACH Damn right it ain't! With everyone else licking their wounds, Bruce now points across the ring where the remaining four are doing battle. Bruce leathers into Bohemoth from behind with a hard shot, while Cortez turns Rodez around, a standing dropkick putting pay to him. That leaves just Hoff and Drek, who scuttle out of Bruce and Todd's immediate rampage and come around to face them across the ring, setting off a four way face-off! COLE Ooh, look at this...we've got The Wildcard and we've got Drek and Hoff. Four guys who could care less about the well-being of this company... COACH That's not true! Drek and Hoff are fighting for the OAOAST! COLE Well, as much as I loathe to do so, I'm going to have to route for Drek and Hoff here. "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" Drek acknowledges and agrees with the chant, which Bruce understandably takes exception to. Stepping up to The Reckless One, with no regard for his achievements in the OAOAST, Bruce points a finger right into Drek's chest...only to have it slapped away. For a moment, it's all handbags at dawn. Then, they throw down the handbags and start throwing fists, Bruce and Drek laying into each other as Cortez rushes across, double-legging Hoff and mounting him with a flurry of right hands! Hoff reverses briefly and throws his own rights, but Cortez fights back, those two scrapping on the mat, while Bruce backs Drek into the corner with slugging right after slugging right. "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" COACH That's one awkward chant. Driven on by the chants of the fans, or perhaps just the will to avoid being pounded on, Hoff shoves Cortez away and clambers back up. A clothesline misses...and so does a back elbow. But Cortez makes the rookie mistake of getting jumpy and charging straight in at Hoff. His reward, for anyone with any sort of OAOAST experience, is obvious... ...SPINEBUSTAAAAAAH~! COACH Nobody does it better than Hoff! Hoff now rushes over to aid Drek, laying into Bruce from behind. The combination of Drek and Hoff puts Bruce prone in the corner and leaves him open for a stompfest from two of the OAOAST's finest. COLE I never thought I'd be cheering on Hoff and Drek. COACH Funny business, huh? The other competitors are beginning to collect themselves now, while Hoff and Drek deal with the Trailerpark Messiah. Thunderkid goes after PRL, Knight taking a breather in the corner while Pete goes after Brock. Meanwhile, Rodez is back up and shaking off the dropkick, contemplating a sneak attack on Bohemoth, but thinking better of messing with a 285 pound man. Instead, Rodez takes a jig across the ring and takes it to Peter Knight, seeing him as the pronest of the targets. COLE Well we've got eleven guys left and any one of them would make a worthy challenger at AngleSlam. What do you think Alf is thinking watching this on the monitor backstage? COACH Probably 'Ow, my frikkin' head'. That and maybe hoping Thunderkid wins. COLE Thunderkid? COACH Well, the guy's his best buddy. He'd probably get not so much an 'easy' match but a 'friendly' match against Thunderkid, where as someone like Knight or Brock would be out for blood. And considering the schedule Alf's had as Champion and the gruelling matches he's faced, I think Alf would prefer some friendly competition for once. COLE A good point well made. You're coming on leaps and bounds partner. After a brief conversation, Hoff and Drek bring Blank out of the corner. A double suplex attempt proves to be a little ill-advised however, so they settle for releasing their facelocks and pushing Bruce back into the turnbuckles. Hoff drives in a few shoulder barges, while Drek reaches over top, choking Blank with his bare hands. Walking over, Bohemoth watches on almost curiously and decides to leave them to it, instead going over to the other side of the ring. Rodez takes a hint and jigs out of Bohemoth's way, remembering the clothesline from earlier. So Bo picks up on Knight, while Rodez helps Todd Cortez to his feet and sets him off into the ropes. As Cortez rebounds, Rodez goes up for a standing dropkick...and gets nothing, as Cortez hangs onto the top rope and stops his momentum! Pulling himself back up, Leon then stumbles around, as Cortez breaks off the ropes and the side and dives forward... ...HOLLOW POOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIINNTT!!! COLE WOW! He sent Leon FLYING across the ring with that tackle! Favouring the effects of the Spinebuster, Cortez doesn't see Bruce's predicament and stays on Rodez. Retrieving the 24/7 Champion from across the ring and looks to put the coup de whatsit on proceedings, pulling Leon into a standing headscissors and looking for the sickflip piledriver he calls the Riot Act Plus... ...but gets caught on the way over... ...manouevered across the ring... COLE Uh-oh... ...AND BACKDROPPED OUT OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...YES! THERE GOES AN SWF SCUMBAG!! COACH HOLLA~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just as Cortez splatters off the ringside pads, Bruce Blank manages to mow down Drek and Hoff with one sudden double clothesline. And seeing his partner lying on the outside, Blank immediately takes it out on the perpetrator with a running Yakuza kick that KOs the 24/7 Champion in one! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLANK THA'S SUM SDUBYAF FOR YA, YA PUNY SISSY GIRL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blank pays for his lack of attention however, as Bohemoth charges across the ring and wipes him out with a Northern MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Meterosexual Monster stands over his far from meterosexual opponent and smirks to himself...which distracts him from Peter Knight, who sneaks up behind and pulls Bohemoth down across a knee, into a modified backbreaker! PK now seems satisfied, motioning that the belt is his. But now he is stuck in Distraction Drive, unaware of Pete sneaking up behind... ...AND BUNDLING THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION OUT OF BATTLEBOWL!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WOAH! COLE PK IS GONE! PETER KNIGHT, ONE OF THE FAVOURITES, IS GONE AT THE HANDS OF ONE OF THE OAOAST'S NEWEST STARS AND HIS PARTNER EARLIER TONIGHT!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PETER KNIGHT LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Longdogger Pete LEFT IN RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knight sits up in shock on the floor as Pete informs him that that was 'for screwing with the SWF'. Ironic then that Pete suffers the same fate as PK, at the hands of an SWF regular. Bruce Blank. "YYEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!" COLE Turned his back, not a smart move! And now LDP is a goner too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LONGDOGGER PETE LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Peter Knight ELIMINATED BY: Bruce Blank LEFT IN RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The crowd goes nuts as the lights go out and the cage lowers from the ceiling. COLE And we're getting set for the steel cage match, with the championship of the World on the line! COACH That's right, and we know who's involved in the battle royal now, and we're about to find out who will await them at AngleSlam! The camera focuses in on Michael Buffer as the lights come back on and the cage finishes lowering. BUFFER BUFFER Lllllllllllllllllllladies and gentlemen, this is the first of two MMMMMMMMMMMAIN EVENTS of Battlebowl 2006! *crowd cheers* BUFFER It is for the OAOAST Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! And it will be contested in the confines of this STEEL CAGE! The only way to win is to escape the cage, either over the top, or through the door. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Big Apple...ARE YOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the sellout crowd here at Madison Square Garden, and the millions and millions watching around the world, there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE EEEE!!!!! *crowd cheers* Renegade hits, and the lights go out. Blacklights light up the entryway as the baseline kicks in, and Reject comes through the curtains to a somewhat surprising hometown ovation. A single spotlight leads him to the ring. BUFFER Making his way to the ring at this time...hailing from NEW YORK CITY... *crowd cheers* ...and weighing in at 235 pounds! This man is a former member of the famed Deadly Alliance, and tonight, he once again challenges his former mentor, in a rematch from the Great Angle Bash! Ladies and gentleman, the challenger! A former X-Division champion...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! COLE And Reject from right here in the Big Apple, getting a warm reception from his hometown crowd! COACH And why not? I'd say he's done this city proud in his time here, wouldn't you? COLE Indeed, you'd have to say that Reject would certainly be in the discussion for the Most Improved wrestler award. About six months ago this time, Reject was wrestling in the tag team ranks, and here he is now challenging for the World title, and he really opened eyes to the possibility of a title change at the Great Angle Bash! Reject tests the cage, then enters the ring and poses for the crowd, which gives him another nice ovation. Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtain, drawing a noticeably mixed reaction. BUFFER His opponent...weighing in at 240 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING, TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alfdogg climbs the cage and goes into the ring, stopping on the buckles to pose. Alf hops off the buckles and hands his belt over. COLE A very partisan crowd here in the Big Apple, really getting behind the hometown boy, Reject! The referee raises the belt in the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Reject sneak attacks Alf, much to the delight of some of the fans. He traps Alf in the corner, hammering him with right hands. He then stands on the buckles and delivers right hands, as the crowd counts along. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Reject brings Alf out of the corner and delivers a European uppercut, sending Alf to the mat. Reject then lays in stomps, before picking Alf up once again. Reject releases Alf, and goes for a spinkick, but Alf ducks, then delivers a savate kick, before backing into the ropes and delivering a swinging neckbreaker! COLE And Alf fighting back the early onslaught, as the crowd seems displeased with this turn of events! However, as Alf goes back after Reject, Reject goes to the eyes. Reject then tries to ram Alf into the cage, but Alf blocks, then gives Reject a shot to the gut. Alf delivers a snap suplex, then follows with a snap legdrop, and tries to climb the cage! COLE And Alf's going for the win already here! However, Reject catches up to Alf and grabs his leg, forcing him to come back down. Reject delivers right hands, then goes for a kick. Alf catches the foot, but Reject is able to execute an ENZIGURI! COLE What a kick to the back of the head by Reject! COACH You've got a chance here, Reject! Go for it! Reject slowly gets to his feet, then spits on Alf, which gets another pop, before slowly making his way up the cage. COLE And Reject is in fact going for it! Reject grabs the cage and climbs to the top rope, before Alf gets up. Reject gets one leg over the top, but Alf grabs the other leg and forces him back in. Reject is standing on the top rope once again, and Alf delivers a shot to the gut, but Reject hangs on to the top rope. Alf goes underneath Reject, forcing him down to the mat with a powerbomb! Reject rolls backwards onto his stomach on impact, and both men are down on the mat! COACH Reject took that one really hard! Alf lays around for a second, then motions for the door to be opened. COLE And Alf's headed for the door! COACH Yeah, takin' the cowards' way out! COLE There is no cowards' way out here, when the World title is at stake! Reject grabs a foot, and pulls Alf back in once again, as Alf stands up on one leg. Reject then drops his foot and knocks him down with a standing spinning wheel kick! COLE Wow, Reject is so quick! What a great kick. Reject then whips Alf across the ring into a corner, but Alf dodges a charge, then runs off to the ropes, and catches Reject with a bulldog as he staggers out! COLE Great counter by Alf, and now he's going for the door again! Reject grabs the foot of Alf and drags him back to the center, then lunges over Alf and to the door himself! COACH Oh, Reject's gonna make it! But Alf grabs Reject, dragging him back, and makes a lunge himself! COLE And Alf once again tries for it! But Reject grabs Alf again, pulling him back, then laying in a couple stomps. Reject then once again makes a lunge for the door! COLE And one more try by Reject! Reject comes VERY close this time, actually getting his hands on the floor, but Alf grabs a hold of his tights and pulls him back. COACH Hey, that's not fair, he's got him by the tights! COLE That's legal in this match, the only way to win is to escape the cage! Alf pulls Reject back in once again, and drops an elbow to the back of the head. Alf then turns Reject over, and drops a knee to the sternum, before making his way to the side of the ring. COLE And Alf's going to climb again! Alf climbs up and leans over the cage, but Reject catches his leg, pulling him back down to the top rope. Reject then grabs Alf, and slams him off the top to the mat! Reject collects his senses, then climbs the corner and over the cage! COACH Look, he's out! He's out! He's gonna do it! The crowd cheers on Reject as he climbs out, but Alf makes his way over and grabs him by the hair as the crowd starts to boo. Alf forces Reject back in, and the two slug it out on the top rope. Reject delivers a big right hand, and Alf falls to the mat. Alf tries to go back up, but Reject pushes him off with his foot, then gains his balance and catches Alf with a missile dropkick! COLE And what a dropkick by Reject! That may be enough for him to escape this time! Reject slowly gets up, and climbs the cage. He once again makes it all the way over, and is once again dragged back in by his hair by Alf. Alf forces him all the way back in, then releases and climbs over himself! Reject quickly stops him, then bites him on the nose as the crowd cheers him on! COLE And Reject biting away at Alf! COACH [COLE]That's legal in this match, the only way to win is to escape the cage![/COLE] Alf has to come back in, and the two once again slug it out on the top rope. This time, Alf gets the better of the exchange, then rams the back of Reject's head into the cage! Reject falls to the mat, and Alf tries to climb once again! Reject recovers quickly and goes for the door! COLE And it's a race! Who's it gonna be? Both men look back at the other, and Alf hops down as Reject makes his way to Alf, and both ram heads and fall to the mat! COLE Both had the same idea, stop the other, and now both are out of it on the mat! Both men slowly get to their knees, and Alf lays in a right hand,, which is returned by Reject! The crowd catches on. Alf lays in a right hand! Crowd: BOO! Reject returns fire! Crowd: YAY! Alf with another right! Crowd: BOO! Reject responds again! Crowd: YAY! Alf with a fourth right! Crowd: BOO! Reject with a fourth right! Crowd: YAY! Reject blocks another right by Alf, and goes to the eyes, then sets up the PITCH BLACK~!!! COLE Reject going for the PITCH BLACK! Reject starts to get Alf up, but Alf blocks, then trips Reject up and attempts the SHARPSHOOTER~!!! COLE And Alf going for the SHARPSHOOTER! Reject struggles, then manages to pull Alf in and monkey flip him over! COACH Great counter! Reject then goes for the door! But Alf quickly brings him back in, picking him up and delivering a gutwrench suplex! He then drops a snap legdrop, before going to the cage again! Reject gets up, and delivers a LOW BLOW~!, drawing a pop from the crowd and causing Alf to fall backwards to the mat! COLE And Alf is down, and so is Reject! Alf really hurting, though! COACH Both these guys are hurting, Cole, they've been in a cage for 15 minutes! Reject turns over and KIPS UP, then stares down at Alf, before climbing to the top rope. COACH He's not going for it, he wants to deliver more punishment! Reject gets on the top rope, and drops a Macho Man elbow on Alf! He then gets up slowly and climbs the cage! COLE Beautiful elbow by Reject, and now he's climbing again! Alf gets up slowly, then catches up to Reject as he climbs down to the floor! COACH He's really gonna make it this time, Cole! Alf grabs a leg of Reject through the bars, then grabs the other, and forces Reject's feet to slip through the squares! He then grabs the feet, and looks out to the crowd, which responds with boos. Alf smirks, then PULLS Reject, racking him on the bar! Reject hangs upside down, just above the floor! COACH Wow, if Reject could just get those legs out, he'd be the World champion right now! Alf grabs the feet again, and Reject pulls himself upright, at which point Alf reaches up and grabs him by the hair. Alf climbs the top rope, then releases the hair, reaching over to grab it again, forcing Reject back up the cage. COLE So close for Reject that time! Reject is forced back over the cage, and Alf slams him back into the ring! Alf then tries to climb out himself, but Reject follows him right up and grabs him in a fireman's carry, then falls back to the mat with him! COLE Samoan drop from the top rope by Reject! Both men are out of it, but Reject gets to his feet first, then picks Alf up. Reject brings Alf into the cage, but Alf counters, and sends Reject in face-first! COACH Oh, no! COLE And Reject tastes the steel! And it looks like he's been cut open! Alf climbs the cage, but Reject catches him once again, grabbing him in an electric chair and falling back! Reject then picks Alf up. Alf reverses an Irish whip, then goes for a TILT-A-WHIRL, but Reject spins through and lands on his feet, then scoops Alf up and drives him head-first into the mat with a TOMBSTONE~! COLE Tombstone piledriver by Reject! COACH That's got to be it! Reject very slowly crawls, and starts to climb the cage, but Alf catches him once again, and pulls him down. Alf delivers a right hand! Crowd: BOO! Reject returns! Crowd: YAY! Alf with a second right! Crowd: BOO! Reject returns again! Crowd: YAY! Alf with a third! Crowd: BOO! Reject with a third! Crowd: YAY! Alf goes to the eyes, which draws BIG boos from the crowd, then drills Reject with a SUPERKICK~! COLE What a kick by Alf, much to the dismay of this crowd! Alf looks out at the booing crowd for a minute, then motions for the door to be opened. Alf goes for the door, but Reject rolls over and delivers another low blow! Reject then drags Alf back out to the center, and delivers a SLINGSHOT INTO THE CAGE~! The crowd is loving it! COACH There you go, baby! COLE And now it's Alf who's been bloodied! Reject then picks Alf up, and whips him HARD into the corner chest-first, and Alf falls backwards to the mat! Reject climbs! COACH This is it this time, Cole! I can feel it! Alf catches Reject, but Reject kicks him off, then gets his body over the cage! However, Alf again pulls him in by the hair, and again they slug it out on the top rope! COACH What a match this has been, Cole! Reject tries to ram Alf once again, but Alf blocks and rams Reject in, causing Reject to fall back to the mat! Alf tightropes his way over to the corner, and then starts to climb. COACH Alf's going for it, get up, Reject! COLE Wait a minute...Alf may have something else in mind here! Alf gets to the top and gets a foot over, before stopping and looking out at the booing crowd... COACH Oh, I think you're right, GET UP, REJECT! Alf sticks a finger up, as if to say "I've got a better idea", then climbs back up to the top of the cage, getting his balance on the top. He then holds his arms out, and gives the "FU" gesture with his arms, before leaping off for a FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH OFF THE CAGE~!!!!!11111 ...however, Reject rolls out of the way! COLE OH MY GOD! COACH Get out, Reject! Reject crawls for the door, as the crowd chants "HOLY SHIT!" COLE But Reject is out of it, too! Reject starts to stir, as Alf is still out of it. He goes to a corner, and starts to climb. COACH NO! Go for the door, Reject! Alf gets up, as Reject is at the top of the cage, and staggers over, then grabs Reject, but Reject kicks him off, then hops down...and hits the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE And Reject with the EULOGY~! That's GOT to be all! COACH Of course, we've said that with every climb for the last ten minutes, so who knows? Reject slowly crawls back to the corner, and starts to climb! COLE Reject should go for the door! COACH Look, Alf IS going for the door! Reject is all the way over the cage, then notices Alf at the open door, and climbs back in, then LUNGES and catches Alf's foot! Reject drags Alf all the way across into the corner, then hits a snap legdrop, and climbs the corner once again! Reject climbs over the top, as Alf climbs up after him! Alf catches Reject, and delivers a couple right hands, then grabs him around the waist...and takes him off the top with a BELLY-TO-BELLY! COACH NO! COLE A belly-to-belly by Alf! And now Alf climbing once again! Alf goes over the cage, as Reject slowly recoups and goes to the door! COLE And now Reject going for the door! COACH It may be too late this time, though! As Reject gets his hands on the floor, Alf climbs down on the outside and JUMPS TO THE FLOOR~! COLE AND IT IS!!! COACH Aw, man! The referee rushes around and raises Alf's hand, as Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and most of the crowd is booing, with some even hurling trash. BUFFER The winner of the steel cage match...and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight championship of the WWWWORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD. ..ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE And obviously the crowd here in Madison Square Garden upset that the hometown boy couldn't pick up the win, but give Reject credit, and give Alfdogg credit! These men both gave it their all! They both put their bodies and careers on the line! But only one man could walk out a champion, and it's Alfdogg, once again! COACH Well, we know now one man who will be headlining AngleSlam! COLE And we'll find out next who will be his opponent! The battle royal is up next!

*Cut back to Madison Square Garden where “Mean” Gene Okuerland is standing by with Maria.* “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Okay, let’s see which four superstars will make up our next match! The camera cuts to the heels and the faces lockerrooms as we watch Maria turn the handle to the tumbler. Maria stops turning, puts her hand in the tumbler, and pulls out an envelope, which she hands over to “Mean” Gene. “MEAN” GENE All right, our first competitor will be…one of the members of The Wildcards (BIG boos)…TODD CORTEZ! The crowd boos as Todd Cortez stands up and pumps his fists. His fellow Wildcards congratulates him. The rest of the heels look at Todd with dirty looks. COLE Now Todd Cortez has his chance to bring the World Heavyweight Title to the Wildcards! COACH I shudder to think what would happen to the OAOAST if Cortez were to become World Champion! Cortez leaves the lockerroom as Maria turns the handle to the tumbler again. “MEAN” GENE And Todd Cortez’s partner will be… Maria stops turning the handler, puts her hand into the tumbler, and pulls out another envelope, which she hands to “Mean” Gene. “MEAN” GENE Oh my goodness. It’s…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTO RICAN! PRL jumps up in joy upon hearing this. The crowd boos. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN YES! Thank you heavenly father who may or may not exist! COLE So the leader of The Lightning Crew will team up with a member of The Wildcards? COACH PRL is now going to have a match, and I’m sure he wants to win Battlebowl badly, especially after losing to Alfdogg last month on HeldDOWN~!. PRL receives high fives from The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick. He leaves the lockerroom with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Popick (who is carrying the Corporate Champion belt). “MEAN” GENE All right. Now for their opponents. Maria puts her hand in the tumbler and pulls out another envelope. She hands it over to Gene. OKUERLAND The first opponent will be… Cut to a split screen of the face and heel lockerrooms. OKUERLAND COLOMBIAN HEAT! The crowd pops! Colombian Heat is shocked, but pleased. COLOMBIAN HEAT All right! Colombian Heat high fives Spanish Fly and Otaku II. COLE Hey! How about that! Colombian Heat is once again going up against his FORMER best friend, this time for a chance to be in Battlebowl! COACH I don’t think PRL will be pleased about this. Colombian Heat leaves the babyface lockerroom while saying, “I’ma do dis for ma people.” Maria is now turning the handle to the tumbler again. She stops, puts her hand into the tumbler, and pulls out another envelope. She hands it to “Mean” Gene. “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND And Colombian Heat’s partner will be…one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions (Big pop!)…LOGAN “USHER” MANN! Logan pumps his fist. He high fives his partner in The Heavenly Rockers, Synth Esizer, and then leaves. COLE So we got the next match set. One half of the World Tag Team Champions, Logan Mann, will team up with the former Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, Colombian Heat, to take on one member of The Wildcards, Todd Cortez, and the leader of The Lightning Crew and the former OAOAST 24/7 Champion, Tha Puerto Rican! COACH It’s certainly an interesting matchup to say the least. You’ve got two men who have a long history with each other, a man who has been causing tons of controversy in the OAOAST recently, and one half of the greatest Rock N’ Wrestling Band of all-time! This should be a good one! By now, all four men have made their way into the ring. Todd Cortez is by himself, as is Logan Mann, and Colombian Heat. Only PRL has brought any backup with him, in the form of his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph, and his girlfriend, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is dress for the occasion wearing a Wonder Woman tanktop that is two sizes too small, hoop earrings, a gold necklace, blue chains on her hands, and a black skirt that is not really a skirt, but two pieces of cloth covering her front and back, but not her sides. And black combat boots. Can’t forget those. COLE All four men are now at ringside. COACH And look at Lindsay! Her outfit makes me wish it were the Fourth Of July every single day of the year! PRL looks at his opponents and his partner, and doesn’t really seem to be happy with any one of them. Cortez stares at PRL, but also makes sure to check out Lindsay as much as he can. Colombian Heat focuses all his attention on Tha Puerto Rican, while Logan “Usher” Mann checks out both of his opponents (and Lindsay too, well maybe once or twice). PRL receives a high five from Popick and a good luck kiss from Lindsay and then enters the ring. Todd Cortez soon follows, as does Logan. Colombian Heat hops into the ring, and throws up the “W” on the ring ropes, getting a pop from the MSG crowd. COLE We are about to begin the next match to see who will be in Battlebowl later on tonight! Referee Nick Patrick pats down the four wrestlers, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* BATTLEBOWL QUALIFYING MATCH TODD CORTEZ AND “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (with Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT AND LOGAN “USHER” MANN The crowd immediately starts a “P.R. SUCKS!” chant, which pisses PR off. PR and Todd stand in one corner, while Colombian Heat and Logan “Usher” Mann stand at another discussing strageaty. COLE None of these men have ever faced each other in a tag team match before, but the members of both teams do have some things in common. COACH Yeah. Both PRL and Todd Cortez are hated by the OAOAST fans, and are members of two infamous groups, The Lightning Crew and The Wildcards. Colombian Heat and Logan Mann have both been through some hardships this year, and they are both passionate about music, although Colombian Heat is more into rap, while Logan is a member of The Heavenly Rockers rock n’ roll band. COLE I guess you can call the Logan/Heat team, “Rock/Rap”. COACH How about we don’t, but say we did? PRL and Todd Cortez discuss strageaty, and it is decided that PRL will go first. Cortez goes for a high five, but PRL ignores him. Meanwhile, it is decided that Colombian Heat will go first for his team. And Logan and Heat do high five each other. Cortez and Logan leave the ring, leaving PRL and Heat to stare at each other, in a match together for the first time since March. They begin circling each other. COLE We begin the match with two men who have SO much history together. SO many battles fought against each other. COACH Yes, we all know the story. PRL and Colombian Heat were best friends for SIX YEARS. Heat used to be the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. But in April 2004, Tha Puerto Rican kicked Heat out of The Lightning Crew. Heat returned in December last year, to challenge PRL for the 24/7 Title, which he was holding at the time. Colombian Heat defeated Tha Puerto Rican at Anglepalooza in January to win the title, but was SCREWED by Vitamin X and Stephen Joseph, who revealed that it was a bogus referee who made the count, and PRL would get the 24/7 Title back. However, Heat would get his revenge, by throwing PRL off the ladder, and helping Leon Rodez end Tha Puerto Rican’s year long 24/7 Title reign at AngleMania V this past April! COLE And I bet all of that is going through their heads right now. COACH PRL and Colombian Heat have faced each other 5 times in the ring, and in those 5 meetings, PRL holds a record of 3-2 over Colombian Heat. Will he bring his record up to 4-2? Or will Colombian Heat tie things up at 3 a piece? P.R. and Colombian Heat lock up. Puerto gets a headlock on his former running buddy. He squeezes tight on the headlock, but Heat is moving towards the ropes. Heat whips PRL into the ropes, escaping the headlock. However, P.R. comes back with a shoulderblock knocking Colombian Heat down. P.R. bounces off the ropes again. He jumps over Heat, bounces off the opposite ropes, jumps over Heat once again, bounces off the opposite ropes…and gets hit with Pele Kick out of nowhere by Colombian Heat! COLE Pele Kick! You never know when you’ll get hit with one! Heat quickly covers P.R. 1… 2… KICK OUT! Heat picks up PRL, and starts punching him in the face repeatedly. Heat with some uppercuts to the face of Puerto. CH whips PR into the ropes. But PR reverses. HOWEVER, Heat fires back with a leg lariat! He makes the tag to Logan “Usher” Mann! COLE And here we go! Logan is in this match! Logan picks up where Heat left off, getting on one knee and grabbing PR by his head, so that he can punch him in the face repeatedly. The punches take off some of Tha Puerto Rican’s Puerto Rican flag facepaint, which he is wearing tonight since it is a special night after all. Just thought I’d let you know. Logan picks up Tha Puerto Rican and gives him a backbreaker! P.R. screams. Logan drops an elbow onto P.R. on the mat. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph show concern. COLE Logan “Usher” Mann is in control of The Corporate Champion. COACH And I think if there’s one night where PRL REALLY doesn’t want to lose, it’s this night. He has a chance to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam. He must get through this match, and get through Battlebowl, first though. This maybe a long night for him! Mann stomps on PRL for a bit as Colombian Heat cheers. “Usher” Mann picks up Puerto. He sizes him up, and then nails him with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~ that pops the crowd. COLE Oh my! COACH That might have knocked out a few teeth! Logan sizes up PR again. And fires with another WICKED LEFT HOOK~, causing the crowd to groan. COLE And there’s another one! COACH More teeth knocked out to be sure. Colombian Heat is loving this. P.R. is getting dizzy. But instead of continuing with the left hooks, Mann gives Puerto Rican an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows with a back elbow that knocks P.R. down to the mat! He makes the cover. 1…2…Todd Cortez enters the ring and kicks Logan in the back of the head! COLE Todd Cortez just saved Tha Puerto Rican! COACH That’s because Cortez realizes that if PRL gets pinned, then HE loses his chance to go to Battlebowl! Cortez stomps on Logan for a bit, drawing boos. But the boos turn to cheers when Colombian Heat enters the ring and attacks Cortez! Heat and Todd soon engage in a slugfest in a corner, which Nick Patrick tries to stop. While this is going on, Logan has picked up Tha Puerto Rican. COLE All four men are in the ring now! We’ve got chaos in the ring! COACH With PRL and Todd Cortez in there, it was bound to happen! Logan goes to punch Tha Puerto Rican. BLOCKED! PRL with a Rock-style punch to Logan’s temple! And another Rock punch to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. Spit on the left hand. Punch! BLOCKED! Logan with a left hook! Logan with another left hook! He goes on punching PRL until he finishes him off with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~ that sends PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! At the same time, Colombian Heat clotheslines Todd Cortez over the top rope and onto the floor! Colombian Heat and Logan “Usher” Mann scream at their opponents while the crowd cheers! COLE Colombian Heat and Logan Mann have cleaned house! COACH I can’t believe it! They both really want to go to Battlebowl tonight! Heat and Logan play to the wildly cheering crowd. Lindsay Gonzalez goes to check on PRL, while Popick offers to help Todd, only to get swatted at. COACH I think Todd would rather be checked on by Lindsay. PRL and Todd Cortez soon get to their feet. They glance at each other, and then enter the ring. Colombian Heat stares ANGRILY at PRL as he gets back to his corner. COLE And now back to your regularly scheduled wrestling match. Todd goes back to the heel corner. PRL and Logan “Usher” Mann are alone in the ring again. PRL is hesitant at locking up with Mann, but Mann insists. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. PR, perhaps to prove that he doesn’t suck, goes for a lockup. BUT INSTEAD, decides to slap the taste out of Logan’s mouth! COLE Oh! I felt that! PRL goes back to The Rock punches that brought him (and The Rock) to the dance. He punches him into the ropes, where he then whips him into the opposite ropes. PR puts his head down, which Logan decides to use to his advantage, grabbing PR and putting him in a facelock. TWIRLING FINGER OF DOOM~! COLE PERCUSSION! NO! PRL escapes, and finally tags in Todd Cortez. “The Urban Legend” comes into the ring full of piss and vinegar, but that becomes short lived as Logan ducks his punch, and fires off with those WICKED LEFT HOOKS~! COLE And now Todd is feeling the blows! Logan “Usher” Mann fires off with the left hooks, causing the crowd to cheer. Since Todd Cortez is one of the most hated men in the OAOAST (along with the other two Wildcards), the crowd roars its approval with every punch. “YEA!” “YEA!” “YEA!” “YEA!” “YEA!” Logan winds up. “YEEEEEAAAAAAAA!” And Todd Cortez falls to the mat! COLE Cortez is down! COACH But is he out? Logan decides to make the tag to Colombian Heat, and the crowd cheers. Heat stomps on Todd Cortez for a little while. He then bounces off the ropes, and does the “Where The Hood At?!” Rolling Thunder onto Cortez! Colombian Heat goes back to stomping on Cortez as the crowd chants, “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” Heat grabs Todd Cortez’s right arm, and applies a Fujiwara Arm-Bar on it. COLE Heat busting out the wrestling skillz tonight at Battlebowl. CH continues to hold onto the arm-bar, while Nick Patrick checks on him. PRL yells out, “COME ON, DUDE!” not even bothering to learn what his partner’s name is. Cortez starts moving his left arm around. He gets on one knee, Heat still applying the armbar. Finally, Todd Cortez gets on his feet and thumbs Colombian Heat in the eye! COLE Oh what cheating! Cheating from a Wildcard! I am SO shocked! Heat holds his eyes in pain, allowing Todd Cortez to grab Heat and give him a Russian Legsweep, rolling through to get up and do a legdrop onto Colombian Heat! THA PUERTO RICAN All right! Way to go, buddy! The crowd starts booing. Todd Cortez stomps on Colombian Heat and then gives him an Irish whip. Cortez puts his head down, and, apparently not learning from what PRL did just a few moments ago, gets hit with a spinning neckbreaker from Colombian Heat! The cover! 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Heat picks Todd Cortez up, and gives him some European Uppercuts. He whips Cortez into the ropes—Cortez reverses—Heat ducks the clothesline, grabs Todd from behind, and gives him the Gangsta Slam! COLE Gangsta Slam! The cover. It gets two! Heat sits up, and starts punching Todd Cortez in the face again and again. Heat then places Cortez in between his legs. He lifts Todd Cortez up, but before he can do anything, PRL enters the ring and clips Heat’s left leg, causing him to fall, and Todd Cortez to be on top of him! 1… 2… KICK OUT! COLE Close! But this match still continues! Cortez gets up before Heat, so Cortez picks Heat up, and places him on the ropes. Todd unleashes a STIFF knife-edged chop across Colombian Heat’s chest! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Todd whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. However, Heat reverses, and Todd Cortez gets hit with an A.J. Styles-like dropkick from Colombian Heat! Heat decides that it’s time to go aerial, as he exits the ring and climbs the top rope. CH looks at the cheering crowd, and then at the downed Cortez. He does a SHIMMY~!, which means he must be feeling froggy, because the next thing that happens is Colombian Heat jumping off the top rope with his version of the Frog Splash, The Fatal Mistake! COLE The Fatal Mistake! Colombian Heat’s got the leg hooked! ONE! TWO! THRE—NO! COACH That wasn’t enough to end the match either! Colombian Heat is a little shocked that the match isn’t over yet. So, he turns to his tag team partner, and tags in Logan “Usher” Mann back into the match. Logan immediately climbs the top rope, and waits for Cortez to get up. COLE What could Logan be doing now? He doesn’t go to the top rope often. Todd Cortez gets to his feet slowly. When he gets close to Logan, Logan jumps off the top rope with a double axehandle! COLE Bombs away! Cortez falls to the mat, and Logan covers…for two! Logan picks up his opponent…and gets a scratch to the eyes for his trouble. “The Urban Legend” Todd Cortez makes the tag to “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, and the crowds’ boos get louder. Back to The Rock punches goes PRL, nailing them with 99.9% accuracy. One spit punch later, and Logan is down! P.R. picks up Logan, and whips him into the ropes. Logan reverses—No—PRL reverses, and Stephen Joseph Popick trips Logan when he comes his way! Logan stops to yell at Stephen Joseph, calling him some naughty words which can’t be said on television. While this is going on, PRL sneaks up behind “Usher” Mann…and brings him to the mat with the Backcracker! COLE Backcracker from PRL! PRL has been adding some new moves to his arsenal these past few days! P.R.L. covers Logan “Usher” Mann hooking his right leg. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999 3—SHOULDER UP! THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! Puerto argues with the ref about the two count, but it still stands. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd. Then goes back to work. He does some shaky leg kicks on Logan “Usher” Mann. P.R. then switches to some fistdrops onto Logan’s forehead. He then bounces off the ropes, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then salutes the crowd, before dropping the Five Knuckle Shuffle onto Logan Mann! COLE I take it that was a special Fourth of July edition of the Five Knuckle Shuffle. P.R. looks at his partner, and decides, “What the hell?” PRL tags in Todd Cortez. The crowd boos loudly. Together, PR and TC pick up LM and punch him in the face. They then both whip Logan into a neutral corner. P.R. then whips Todd into that same corner, where Todd gives Logan a clothesline! PRL follows with a Stinger Splash! The two heels then grab Logan and give him a double bulldog! PRL applauds himself, while Todd just looks at PRL, looking as though he is starting to like working with him. COLE Some nice double team moves from Tha Puerto Rican and Todd Cortez, who are teaming up for the first time ever tonight! Colombian Heat can’t do anything else but stand on the ring apron and hope for a tag. Stephen Joseph and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez watch on with smiles on their faces as “The Urban Legend” picks up Logan Mann, only to drop him with the STO. Cortez then follows that up with a standing moonsault. But he doesn’t go for the pin. “ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP!” We see Colombian Heat leading the chant, trying to get his partner back in the game so that he can move onto Battlebowl later on tonight. Heat is getting increasingly worried as he watches Todd Cortez pick up the weakened Logan “Usher” Mann and give him the CROTCH DROPPAH~! COLE Crotch Droppah~! A Crotch Droppah has been used on Logan Mann! Cortez tags in Puerto Rican again. He tells him to do something. PRL stands a few feet behind Logan “Usher” Mann. Cortez grabs Logan, and gives him another Crotch Droppah~! Logan holds his no-no place in serious pain, his eyes closed, not knowing where he’s going. This allows PRL, when Logan turns in his direction, to move forward and hit Logan with his cool looking spinning wheel kick! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! COACH Logan couldn’t dodge that move even if he tried! Cortez gives PRL a thumbs up sign. Logan is down, and P.R. is on top of him! 1…2…3—Nope. COLE And Logan isn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet! PRL decides to just choke Logan with his bare hands. The referee stops this at the count of 4. “ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP!” The former OAOAST 24/7 Champion has an evil smile on his face as he does some shaky leg kicks on Logan Mann. Puerto picks Logan Mann up, and gives him a bodyslam onto the mat. The crowd starts buzzing, since they know this means a certain move is coming up. And indeed, Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring, and slowly climbs the top rope. The crowd is getting hot. COLE High flying move coming up. COACH And that bodyslam could only mean one high flying move is coming up! P.R. removes his left elbowpad and throws it into the crowd. He stands up on the top rope and measures Logan “Usher” Mann. P.R. then leaps off the top rope; making sure to do the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air, and then connects with a red, white, and blue, special Independence Day edition of the Corporate Elbowdrop! “YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!” And some of the fans liked it. P.R. covers Logan. 1… 2… No dice. PRL holds his head in his hands. Another “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. P.R. sneers at the crowd. COACH No matter what day it is, the fans will never stop hating Tha Puerto Rican! The Corporate Champ slaps Logan “Usher” Mann upside the head, and then picks him up. PRL whips him into his corner. He then makes the tag to Todd Cortez. The two men then proceed to kick Logan Mann in the stomach repeatedly, causing the crowd to boo some more. “YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!” PRL and Todd Cortez laugh maniacally, getting along great now as a team. COLE I wonder why PRL seems to have no problem teaming with a Wildcard. Hasn’t he been watching the OAOAST these past few weeks? Hasn’t he seen what they’ve done? Hasn’t he seen who they’ve hurt? COACH Michael, I think Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t give a crap about what’s going on with The Wildcards and the OAOAST. The only person PRL gives a crap about is PRL. COLE True, true. Todd tells PRL to do something, and PRL agrees. Todd pulls Logan Mann away from the turnbuckle. He goes behind him and lifts him up for a back suplex. However, Tha Puerto Rican grabs Logan’s head while he’s in the back suplex position, and brings him down to the mat with a reverse Diamond Cutter! THA PUERTO RICAN You gotta get funky like dat! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL bows to the crowd…and then flips them off. He returns to his corner. Todd punches Logan “Usher” Mann some more, irking the crowd. By now, most of PRL’s Puerto Rican flag facepaint has faded away. Todd Cortez whips Logan into the ropes. He grabs Logan up, and then SLAMS him down to the mat with the Sitout Spinebuster! COLE Oh! And oh my! Logan Mann just got hit with the Sitout Spinebuster! COACH Damn! Todd Cortez smiles evilly. He covers Logan. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG! KICK OUT!!! COACH What? COLE He’s still going! I can’t believe he’s still going! And the crowd can’t believe it either, responding with cheers and applause! Cortez is shocked, along with PRL and the rest of the LC at ringside. Colombian Heat now has hope in his eyes, as he reaches his hand out as much as he can for the tag. Heat then slaps the top turnbuckle pad rhythmically, and the crowd soon gets into it, clapping their hands in unison, rooting for Logan “Usher” Mann to make the comeback. But Todd Cortez will have none of that, as he picks up the tired, in pain, and probably half-conscious Logan “Usher” Mann and punches him in the face. He does it a few more times, getting him good and dazed. Cortez then delivers a spinning heel kick to Logan, knocking him down. Todd looks at the crowd, and then climbs the top rope. COLE Todd Cortez now going for a top rope maneuver. COACH But what could it be? It’s not like he’s a regular high flyer! Todd gets on the top rope. He still has that evil smile on his face as he waits for Logan “Usher” Mann to get up. The crowd starts buzzing, wondering what is going to happen next. Everybody’s attention is on Todd Cortez on the top rope…which is why no one notices when Colombian Heat runs across the ring apron and pushes Cortez’s legs, causing him to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top rope! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Ha! Ha! Colombian Heat can fight dirty too! PRL is shocked! The crowd is shocked! Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez (and the Corporate Champion belt) is shocked! And Todd Cortez is in a lot of pain as he falls off the top turnbuckle onto the mat. Colombian Heat goes back to his corner, and reaches out for the tag, feeling that the tide is turning. Meanwhile, Todd Cortez is crawling over to his corner, looking to tag in his partner, Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd is getting hot, hoping that the faces are the first to make the tag. COLE Who’s going to get there first? Who will it be? Logan “Usher” Mann crawls closer and closer to his corner. Heat yells out, “Just a few more inches man! Just a few more!” While Tha Puerto Rican is screaming out in that high-pitched annoying voice of his, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? MAKE THE TAG! MAKE THE TAG!” “LO-GAN! LO-GAN! LO-GAN! LO-GAN!” COACH Who will reach their partner first? WHO? The crowd is getting hotter and hotter by the second. Both men are just a few inches away. A hush silence falls over the crowd, as both Todd Cortez and Logan “Usher” Mann reach out to their partners… AND LOGAN IS THE FIRST TO MAKE THE TAG! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Colombian Heat enters the ring, FIRED UP! Todd Cortez makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. Unfortunately for P.R., Colombian Heat is ready, beating up on poor Puerto with lefts and rights! Colombian Heat punches PR in the face with his right hand. He then does it again! AND AGAIN! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches PRL in the face a fourth time, knocking him down to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll! COLE Shake, Rattle, & Roll from Colombian Heat! How long has it been since we’ve seen that? CH bounces off the ropes. Since PRL is in the middle of the ring, Heat decides that there’s no better time than now than to do a SHIMMY~! and drop a knee onto the face of PRL. The Shaky Leg Kneedrop! COLE And now the Shaky Leg Kneedrop! Colombian Heat is on fire! Colombian Heat punches Todd Cortez in the corner just because. Outside, Stephen Joseph is panicking. Colombian Heat goes back to PRL. He grabs him, and rolls him up in La Magisterial Cradle! 1… 2… NO! Both PRL and Colombian Heat get up at the same time. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Colombian Heat ducks…and then NAILS PRL in the face with a STIFF SUPAHKICK~! PRL goes down like a sack of bricks. COLE SUPAHKICK~! SUPAHKICK~! and PRL is down! Colombian Heat covers PRL, but only gets a two count. So, Heat decides that maybe it’d be best if he went up top right about now. “ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP! ROCK/RAP!” Colombian Heat climbs the top rope. He waits for PRL to get near him. PRL is only starting to get up. COLE Colombian Heat, ascending to the top once again! COACH What’s he got up his slee—uh, up his…arm? Colombian Heat speaks slang, hoping that’ll make PRL get up faster. It may have worked, since Tha Puerto Rican gets to a vertical base. He’s a little dizzy, and has some trouble standing up, but he shakes his head to get the cobwebs out, and turns around, right into a missile dropkick from Colombian Heat! COLE Missile Dropkick! COACH I know. The narrator just said it. Colombian Heat sits up right after the missile dropkick, with a crazed look in his eyes. The crowd starts cheering since they know what’s coming up next. COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Heat looks at his right hand, and starts shaking it. He starts shaking his head too like he’s having a seizure. COACH Could it be? Colombian Heat finally stops shaking. “WASSSSSSSSUP!?” And then does the Spinaroonie to a LOUD pop from the Madison Square Garden crowd! COLE An All-American, red, white, and blue, Fourth of July Spinaroonie! COACH Happy birthday, America! Colombian Heat gets to his feet, playing to the crowd, who cheer loudly. Logan “Usher” Mann is also rooting him on. Everyone else is worried now, especially Todd Cortez. COLE If PRL costs Todd Cortez his shot at being in Battlebowl, how do you think Todd Cortez will react? COACH Brother, I don’t wanna know. Colombian Heat is still playing to the crowd. He picks PR up, dusts him off, hugs him (?), which also puzzles PRL, and then drops PRL with the PIMP JUICE! COLE And now the Pimp Juice! Colombian Heat just hit PRL with the Pimp Juice! COACH On the man who, at one time, he called his best friend in the whole wide world! Colombian Heat picks up PRL—NO!—PRL kicks Colombian Heat in his knees. Puerto crawls over to his corner and tags in Todd Cortez again. Cortez charges after Heat, but Heat ducks the clothesline, grabs Cortez from behind, and pulls him down for a backslide! COLE This could be it! ONE! TWO! CORTEZ ESCAPES! Both Cortez and Colombian Heat get up at the same time. Cortez goes for a punch, but Heat blocks it, kicks Todd in the gut, places him in between his legs, hooks his arms, and then turns him around so that Todd Cortez’s feet hang in the air behind Colombian Heat! The crowd starts cheering loudly! COLE There it is! There it is! Colombian Heat holds Todd Cortez up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. He looks at the cheering crowd with a smile on his face. Logan “Usher” Mann is telling Colombian Heat to do it, while Tha Puerto Rican is shaking his head going, “No! No! No! No! No! No! No!” Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick are saying the same thing. Colombian Heat looks right at the camera. AND DOES THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE ON TODD CORTEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Colombian Necktie! The Colombian Necktie has been hit! Colombian Heat has done it! COACH He’s going to advance! All he has to do is pin Todd Cortez! Come on Heat! Heat covers Todd Cortez. Referee Nick Patrick gets on his knees, and starts the count. The crowd counts along. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN ENTERS THE RING AND KICKS COLOMBIAN HEAT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! COLE No! No! No! Tha Puerto Rican just stopped the count! Tha Puerto Rican just stopped the count! The crowd is stunned that the match is not over yet. They start booing as PRL beats on Colombian Heat while Nick Patrick tries to stop him. Nick Patrick does get some help in the form of Logan “Usher” Mann who runs into the ring to attack Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And now Logan Mann is in the ring! All four men are in the ring! Todd Cortez is still on the mat. Colombian Heat is recovering from the shots from Tha Puerto Rican. Nick Patrick is trying to separate Tha Puerto Rican and Usher Mann. The crowd is going nuts. COACH How can the referee put a stop to this? He can’t control this on his own! He just can’t! PRL and Logan trade blows, until PRL kicks Logan in the gut, and follows that up by kicking him square in the nuts! Logan falls to the mat, holding his testes. Nick Patrick checks on Logan. Meanwhile, Colombian Heat and Todd Cortez are starting to get up. PRL sees this, and whistles at Popick. Popick then throws the Corporate Champion belt into PRL’s hands! COLE What’s this? Hey wait! Tha Puerto Rican positions himself with the Corporate Champion belt in his hands, and then charges forward, jumping up and nailing Colombian Heat in the back of the head with the Corporate Champion belt! Yes folks, it’s a ::BELSHOT~!:: Nick Patrick is still attending to Logan “Usher” Mann to know about the ::BELTSHOT~!::. Colombian Heat falls to the mat, just as Todd Cortez is getting to his feet. PRL quickly gets up, the belt still in his hands. The crowd boos. COLE Did you see that? Did you just see that!? Tha Puerto Rican just nailed Colombian Heat from behind with that belt! That damn Corporate Champion belt! He used it as a weapon! AGAIN! COACH I can’t believe he’s still allowed to carry that thing around! Everyone knows he’s going to use it as a weapon! Even I know that, and I sniff glue everyday! COLE This is a travesty in the making folks! Todd Cortez gets up. He is a little dazed and confused, especially when he sees Colombian Heat face down on the mat. He then looks at PRL, who is frantically telling him, “DON’T JUST STAND THERE! HIT YOUR MOVE! HIT YOUR MOVE SO THAT WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE!” Todd still doesn’t quite get it yet, but he picks up Colombian Heat anyway. Logan “Usher” Mann is out of the ring, still holding his balls. And Nick Patrick is still checking on him. The crowd boos loudly as Todd Cortez picks Colombian Heat up, and places him in a standing headscissors with PRL watching the both of them. “JUST DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! HIT YOUR MOVE!” Todd glares angrily at PRL, pissed off at him for screaming like a banshee, and then flips over Colombian Heat’s back, pulling Heat’s weight over him as he lands on his feet and fucking SPIKES Colombian Heat’s head on the canvas with the RIOT ACT PLUS~! “YEAH! YEAH! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! WAY TO GO!” COLE The Riot Act Plus! Cortez’s finisher! He just hit Colombian Heat with the Riot Act Plus! COACH Oh, and nobody has ever kicked out of that move! COLE Logan Mann is down! The referee did not see Tha Puerto Rican hit Colombian Heat with the Corporate Champion belt! Cortez covers Colombian Heat. “NOW COVER HIM! COVER HIM!” TODD CORTEZ SHUT THE FUCK UP! THA PUERTO RICAN okay. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring, the Corporate Champion belt in his hands. He returns to his corner as though nothing happened at all. Todd Cortez is still covering Colombian Heat. Logan “Usher” Mann is still down on the outside. Because of this, Nick Patrick FINALLY turns around and sees Colombian Heat being covered by Todd Cortez. Without questioning how that happened, Nick Patrick gets on his hands and knees and slaps the mat, with PRL, Popick, and Lindsay watching with baited breath. The crowd is furious. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (13:37) COLE The match is over! Tha Puerto Rican and Todd Cortez are heading to Battlebowl! COACH AWWWWW! The crowd is shocked. They can’t believe that Colombian Heat and Logan “Usher” Mann got screwed. As “Oh No” by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche starts playing, PRL jumps up and down absolutely delighted that his team won. Colombian Heat is holding his head in pain. Logan “Usher” Mann is holding his balls. BUFFER Here are your winners…AND moving onto Battlebowl at the end of the night…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTO RICAN and “Urban Legend” TODD COORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! PRL is jumping up and down. Lindsay and Popick applaud their man. Todd Cortez gets up and sneers at Colombian Heat, taunting him. Tha Puerto Rican hugs Cortez, but Cortez quickly pulls away, wanting nothing to do with the P.R. Menace now that the match is over. COLE I can’t believe that once again Colombian Heat was screwed by Tha Puerto Rican! And he was so close this time! He had the match won! He had given Todd Cortez the Colombian Necktie, and that SHOULD have been the finish! But Tha Puerto Rican had other plans, and now, he and that no good punk, Todd Cortez, that heartless, bastard Wildcard member, is in Battlebowl! COACH I’m sure Caboose is crushed that one of his favorite wrestlers teamed up with a Wildcard. But not as crushed as he will be if Todd Cortez actually ends up winning Battlebowl! Can you imagine what would happen then? COLE Oh God. I hope that doesn’t happen tonight. I really, really hope that does not happen tonight! P.R.L. is ecstatic. He’s acting like he won an Academy Award as “Oh No” continues playing. He wipes fake tears from his eyes. THA PUERTO RICAN I’m so happy! I’m so happy! I’m almost there! I’M ALMOST THERE! COLE Did you hear that? PRL is almost there! PRL has already passed one obstacle tonight. But he didn’t do it fair and square! The OAOAST Battlebowl logo flashes across the screen. We see the end of the match, starting when Colombian Heat gave Todd Cortez the Colombian Necktie. COACH Well, Colombian Heat was on a roll, hitting anything that was in his way. He went and gave Todd Cortez the Colombian Necktie, knocking him out, and winning the match. Or so we thought, until Tha Puerto Rican kicked Heat in the back of the head, stopping the count. This led to Logan “Usher” Mann getting involved, and he fought with PRL until PRL kicked him in his nutsack. With Logan gone, Popick gave PRL the Corporate Champion belt, which he used to wallop Colombian Heat with, and then told Cortez to go for his finisher, which he did, the Riot Act Plus. One 3 count later, and PRL and Todd Cortez are your winners, and are in Battlebowl! The OAOAST Battlebowl logo flashes across the screen again. We return to live footage, as Tha Puerto Rican grabs Logan “Usher” Mann and throws him into the ring. COLE Hey, what’s going on now? PR, Lindsay, Popick, and Todd Cortez enter the ring. Logan is still recovering from his nutshot. Colombian Heat is down and out on the mat. PRL is laughing manically. COACH Now what? PRL picks Logan up. He looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face…and then drops Logan with the CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!! COLE Corporate Nightmare! And now a Corporate Nightmare on poor Logan Mann! It’s bad enough that he won’t be in the Battlebowl for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam, but now he must suffer this humiliation after his defeat! Come on PRL! Logan “Usher” Mann is now knocked out too. “Oh No” has stopped, replaced by the music that is known as “The Fans Boo The Hell Out Of Tha Puerto Rican”! PRL just stands in the center of the ring and poses, laughing manically, while Lindsay and SJP smile evilly. Todd Cortez just watches all of this. COLE PRL is in Battlebowl. Todd Cortez is in Battlebowl. Who’s going to join them? “Oh No” by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche starts playing again. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes so that PRL, Stephen Joseph (holding the Corporate Champion belt again), and Todd Cortez can leave the ring. Logan “Usher” Mann and Colombian Heat are still knocked out. Lindsay hugs and kisses PRL, and just high fives Todd. COLE We are getting closer and closer to Battlebowl. 16 men will vie for a World Title shot at AngleSlam, and we now know that 2 of those 16 will be Todd Cortez and “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. And it came at the expense of ending Colombian Heat and Logan Mann’s dreams! Colombian Heat once again got screwed by his FORMER best friend, Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican is still happy. He says to the camera, “YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! ONE STEP CLOSER! ONE STEP CLOSER!”. Todd is checking out Lindsay. COLE Did you hear that? PRL is one step closer. One step closer to a match against the World Heavyweight Champion at AngleSlam. Could he be one step closer to becoming the World Heavyweight Champion? COACH Could Todd Cortez be one step closer to becoming the World Heavyweight Champion? Could he bring the Wildcards some gold again in the form of the World Title? COLE We don’t know yet. But rest assured, by the end of the night, we WILL know who faces the World Heavyweight Champion at AngleSlam. Because at the end of the night, 16 OAOAST superstars will collide in the battle royal known as Battlebowl! And that’s still to come! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick (carrying the Corporate Champion belt) are in the aisleway. The three Lightning Crew members are laughing manically, while Todd Cortez just smirks. Stephen Joseph raises the Corporate Champion belt to LOUD boos as “Oh No” by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche continues playing. COLE So the field is set for Battlebowl, let's run it down for you real quick, the participants include Thunderkid, Brock Ausstin, Peter Knight, Longdogger Pete, Crystal, Bohemoth, Gibraltar, Hoff, Leon Rodez, Mister Warrior, Otaku II, Drek Stone, Bruce Blank, Tony Brannigan, and the team just victorious, Todd Cortez and Tha Puerto Rican. Can you pick me a winner now? COACH ...I'll tell you later.

COLE We're back, with a very special announcement! *As Cole continues to speak, Yankee Doodle plays in the background, and footage of Rick Heyross, Charlie Moss, and Quentin Benjamin visiting Japan is shown.* COLE There you see Team Heyross with their manager Rick, they're in the Land of the Rising Sun right now, as they have been chosen to represent these United States in the World Cup tag team tournament! Team Heyross will be the #2 seed in the Asia bracket. The team from Canada was chosen as the #1 seed in the North/South American bracket. *Footage is shown of Rick Heyross and Team Heyross, in stylish clothes, having their pictures taken with Antonio Inoki.* COLE We'll have more information on this tournament in the coming weeks, but once again, Team Heyross, the U.S. representative in the Tag Team World Cup! COACH Wow, that's huge news! What better representative for this country in tag team wrestling than Team Heyross? COLE No doubt, that's tremendous news for Team Heyross, unable to be here tonight to participate in Battlebowl, as they were visiting the Orient! Right now, let's go back to Gene! We’re back ”tumbler side” with Mean Gene and Maria with Maria already spinning the big tumbler while Mean Gene tries his best to not be obvious when staring down her cleavage MEAN GENE Oh man you sure do spin that nicely MARIA Oh you *giggles* MEAN GENE But enough is enough, we have another tag-team match to pick out Maria MARIA Oh you *giggles* We cut to a split screen shot of the face and heel locker rooms of the OAOAST as Maria stops spinning the tumbler and reaches into it for a card before handing it to Mean Gene MEAN GENE The first guy is a man who seems to have a lot of “Bo-problems” lately, it’s the Moral Highground himself Christian Wright!! In the heel locker room Wright gets up and high fives Drek Stone on the way out as a few of the others make comments such as “go get them” or “Who wants a sandwich” MARIA Here is the second one Gene MEAN GENE Thank you my dear *drools* Wright’s partner – one half of the Sk-eight-tor Boiz, it’s Hell Mel!! MARIA OH MY GOD! He’s soooooo hot The girls in the audience seems to agree as they scream with anticipation as we see Mel leap up from his chair, high five his brother and his sister and then heads to the ring only moments after Christian Wright enters the squared circle. MEAN GENE Alright Maria let’s find out who they’re facing if you please Another spin, another note handed to Gene MEAN GENE This is a big one ladies and gentlemen – it’s Tony Brannigan! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Tony doesn’t seem phased by the boos from the crowd as he just gets up, sneers at the camera and then heads out of the locker room while tying the belt around his robe. MEAN GENE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND his partner is. . . Oh you’ve got to be kidding me? Who put this name it? MARIA Is it me? MEAN GENE No Sweetheart it’s not you, don’t worry – it’s one of the Wildcards, the Trailer Trash Bruce Blank BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Both the faces and the heels look around to see if they can spot Bruce Blank anywhere, but he’s not there – hell he’s probably not welcome in either of the OAOAST locker rooms. Brannigan, Wright and Mel all just look at each other, shrugging their shoulders to indicate that they don’t know what’s going on. Then a camera catches Bruce walking down the steps of Madison Square Garden, coming to the ring through the crowd instead of from the locker rooms COLE I doubt Bruce or the other Wildcarders are very popular in the OAOAST locker rooms, not even with guys like Tony Brannigan or Christian Wright COACH Of course they’re not, like them or hate them most of the guys in the back don’t like some bastards coming into THEIR house and trying to take it over, it’d be like if someone came and tried to take over your little apartment Cole. COLE I’ve tried that, my sister-in-law did that once, it wasn’t funny. COACH So Bruce is like a Sister-In-Law? When Bruce gets to the ring he doesn’t actually enter the ring but just gets up on the apron and makes a big production deal out of grabbing the tag rope and then motioning to Tony to get going. None of the other participants in the ring seem to like Bruce, not even the guy that’s supposed to be his tag-team partner tonight – but once the bell rings they’ll hopefully focus more on the match than on Bruce on the apron *DING!*DING!*DING!* COACH HEEEEEEEEERE we go, two of these will make it to the Battle Royal later tonight, one of them may even end up winning it. COLE Oh lord almighty please don’t let it be Bruce Blank! I swear to god if that moose wins the whole thing then I’m going to. . . COACH Retire?? Say retire please! COLE Oh shut up. Christian steps out of the ring after the bell has run and lets Hell Mel and Tony Brannigan kick it off tonight. Branningan tries to lock up with the much smaller Mel but he ducks under the big man’s arms and lands a spinning leg lariat to the broad back of Tony B knocking the big man forward a few steps but nothing more than that though. COACH Mel needs more OOOMPH in that thing before he can take Big Tony down COLE Give him time, he’s faced a lot of big guys before – don’t forget that Mel runs at Tony but the big man clasps his hand around Mel’s throat and lifts him up straight in the air. Using his forward momentum Mel succeeds in spinning the choke slam attempt around so he lands with his feet on the middle ropes in the corner. Mel quickly kicks Brannigan in the chest to knock him backwards and then a split second later drop kicks Tony square in the chest, knocking the big man back into the opposite corner to a huge cheer from the female population. MEL!! MEL!! MEL!! MEL!! MEL!! With Tony hanging off the ropes in the corner Mel quickly rushes in, leaps up on Brannigan’s bent knee but when he tries to kick Tony in the back of the head with a Shinning Wizard Brannigan bops his head out of the way so that Mel ends up sitting on Tony’ss shoulders instead. Mel throws all of his weight pounds forward and actually manages to roll Tony Brannigan up with a victory roll. ONE!! TWO!! But an enraged Brannigan doesn’t allow the count to go any further as he kicks out with such power that Mel flies off him and lands a good 2 feet away. He then quickly rolls up onto his knees looks at Bruce as if he’s contemplating tagging him or not. Then he gets up and walks away from his own corner COACH Tony doesn’t even want to tag in Bruce! Not that I disagree with him but that’s not a good strategy in a tag match yaknow? COLE I agree with you on that one, but then again I wouldn’t want to touch Bruce in general Tony uses his height and strength advantage to push Hell Mel back into the corner against the ropes. Brannigan slowly backs off as the referee begins to count for a rope break, he’s got his hands in the air prepared to defend himself giving Mel a clean break. Then just as it looks like the break will be squeaky clean Tony fires off a fist to the face just because he can. COLE OH COME ON!! COACH Come on what? Tony is just teaching this kid what it’s like to hang with the big guys, with the real men around here. Maybe it’s a preview of how he’d handle things if his team is successful against Axel’s team. Mel quickly runs at Tony after the punch in the face, pissed off and looking for payback - but Brannigan manages to hook Mel and drive him into the canvas with a power slam. Then he backs up a few steps to get a running start as he kicks Mel in the back with enough force and power to make a large portion of the crow wince in sympathy. Tony swivels his hits smiles as Bruce just leans against the ringpost seemingly not very interested in what’s going on in the ring right now. COACH Tony really needs to focus on his opponent more! He had him down, drive an elbow into his throat or something COLE You’d like nothing better than to see people cheat wouldn’t you? To hurt someone? COACH And you’re saying that’s a bad thing? Sjesh Mel slowly gets back to his feet before Tony decides to take another shot at him. Mel reaches back and blindly tags in Christian Wright while Brannigan runs right at him. Mel ducks under the attack from Tony allowing his tag-team partner to come flying off the top rope with a cross body block into a cover on the totally unprepared Tony Brannigan. ONE!! TWO!! TH-Kickout!! BRUCE BLANK FOCUS YOU IDIOT! COLE Man these two just ooze teamwork, it’s like they’ve been teaming together for years. COACH Was that sarcasm Cole? Are you finally starting to learn a little something from me? Christian doesn’t allow his opponent to get a breather as he grabs Tony by the right arm before he’s even back up on his feet and drives him down with an Armbar DDT. Then he quickly floats over into a Fujiwara Amrbar, wrenching back on Brannigan’s right arm sending flashes of searing white pain down his elbow and shoulder. Bruce shifts his weight on the apron, uncomfortable with just watching the action in the ring but unable to affect it and annoyed by the fact that Tony hasn’t made a move to tag him in even once. COLE Christian seems to have had a lot of Bohemoth problems lately but he doesn’t seem to have that many Tony Brannigan problems COACH Problems? Yeah problems with incompetent staff who can’t follow orders, then again Tony has the same kinds of issues in his fight to keep Bill Watts in power Tony fights against the pain, he tries to shift his body a bit to alleviate the pressure of the arm bar but Christian has it expertly applied and isn’t about to give his opponent any opening in the match. After a few more moments in the arm bar Bruce has had enough and rushes into the ring stomping Christian across the back of the head / neck with his cowboy boot, breaking the hold before the referee can intercept him. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE The referee certainly wasn’t on the ball there, he let Bruce break up the armbar before he could stop him COACH Incompetent fool! Keep the redneck out or I’ll have you fired once Bill Watts is out of office. Even though he just got kicked in the head Wright is still in clear control of the match, which he demonstrates as he quickly climbs the ropes and then comes off with a drop kick to the chest of Tony Brannigan. Tony is knocked backwards, flipping over his own head and landing on his stomach right at Bruce’s feet. The Wildcarder grabs the tag rope with one hand as he notices the referee watching and then he reaches down and slaps Tony on the knee to tag himself in much against Tony’s will. COLE Damn it! COACH No one wants you here Bruce!! Not even your own partner wants you in the ring! Bruce gives Tony Brannigan a quick nudge with his leg to “help” him out of the ring before lunging at Hell Mel on the apron, striking the Sk8ter Boi on the side of the head with a brassknuck enhanced fists. COLE Where the hell did that come from?? COACH I think he slipped it on when he stepped through the ropes, I’d expect nothing less from this lowlife The impact knocks Mel off the apron and onto the floor where he lays legs and arms sprawled out in all directions, seemingly out cold. The referee questions Bruce but the big man denies any wrong doing as he slides the knucks off with his hands behind his back to block both the referee and Christian Wright’s view of it. Then Bruce quickly tosses it backwards to Tony who instinctively catches it, but the second he realizes what it is he looks disgusted and quickly gets rid of it. COACH I know you can’t predict who ends up in the battle bowl with the random drawing and all but couldn’t someone have. . . fiddled with the notes to keep Bruce out? COLE You’d FIX the drawing? There is no fixing in wrestling. COACH Seriously Cole I’m about to slap you alright? And I’m sure that these guys would have been happy with ANY replacement for Blank, even Bohemoth or Hoff or a total loser like Ultimo Villaño X The action doesn’t continue until the referee is finally satisfied that Bruce apparently did not cheat, at least not in a way that he could prove it. Bruce fakes going for a collar and elbow tie up and instead drives his thumb into Christian’s eye to gain the advantage in the match. Then he grabs Christian by his hair and drags his face across the top ring rope with a vicious grin on his face, followed by a clothesline that sends his opponent to the canvas with a thud. COACH Does this guy know even ONE wrestling move? Tony is yelling at Bruce from the apron, calling for a tag – DEMANDING a tag actually. Bruce looks over at his partner for a moment with annoyance before he bends over to grab Wright by the hair once more. But much to Bruce’s dismay and the delight of the crowd Christian Wright landed in the corner where Tony threw the brassknucks only moments ago. The metal object flashes through the air as the Moral Highground strikes Bruce right across the jaw, driving the big man backwards, knocking him flat on his back. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COACH Turnaround is fair play! if you can’t take it – don’t dish it out big guy. COLE You know I usually don’t condone this but HELL YES!! Wright quickly slides the brassknucks off his hand and throws them into the crowd so that no one can use them again in this match. Then he looks towards his corner, hoping for a tag. But Hell Mel is nowhere to be seen, in fact he’s still on the floor, knocked out by the brassknuckle shot that Bruce gave him earlier in the match. Wright doesn’t lose his determination when he sees that his partner is still down though, instead he grabs Bruce by the arm and flips the big man over on his stomach. Then he wraps his right arm around Bruce’s throat and sits back, then he manages to lift Bruce’s massive left arm and lock that as well while pulling back hard on the 295 pounder. COACH Now we’re talking! Get the big man to submit COLE Christian Wright is pulling out a Dragon Clutch, it must be something he’s picked up while on tour in Japan. Christian’s muscle shake as he applies the pressure on the big man, using all his skill and leverage to even be able to lock the Dragon Clutch on the broadshouldered man. Bruce’s face contorts in pain as Wright sits back on Bruce’s spine trying to bend it in the opposite direction of what it was designed to do, rocking back and forth a little to lock the throat lock on tighter and tighter every time Bruce’s draws a breath of air. COLE Is he out? The referee grabs Bruce’s right arm and raises it into the air to see if Bruce is out cold from the Dragon Clutch or not. The arm drops lifelessly to the canvas once, then another time, but Tony Brannigan reluctantly decides to enter the ring and kick Christian Wright off Bruce before the referee can lift Bruce’s arm a third time. Tony doesn’t even stay in the ring for a second after he kicked Wright but quickly returns to the apron with the tag rope in hand yelling for Bruce to tag him in. COACH I guess Tony’s desire to win is greater than his distaste for the Wildcards COLE Wright is on his knees, holding his neck as he crawls towards his own corner looking for a tag, but unfortunately Hell Mel is still not up on the apron. Although his sister has managed to get Mel up on his feet he’s still holding on to her, staggering around on the floor unable to return to the ring right now. One of the advantages of having a 6’7’’ partner is that he has a very long reach, which is important as Bruce only needs to crawl a few feet towards his partner before Tony tags in. COLE Wright is fighting a one man war here, Bruce and Tony can tag but Christian Wright is on his own. COACH Oh I don’t think Tony is looking to tag Bruce in again, it was a mistake to even do it once. Tony rushes his opponent, landing a clothesline that spins Wright 360 in the air before he lands on his face. Brannigan places Christian’s head between his knees and then pulls the Moral Highground upwards, most likely hoping to put him in a piledriver position, but Wright jumps with the move adding enough momentum to flip himself up onto Tony’s shoulders. Christian Wright tries a huracanrana but Tony puts his arms up to prevent it from happening and in the hopes of turning the move into a power bomb. Tony staggers backwards a few steps as Christian lands a few choice shots to the top of his head and then drops backwards sending Wright face first into the top turnbuckle. COACH Tony took full advantage of his location in the ring, that’s the sign of a smart wrestler COLE Okay I got to admit that it was very impressive – you happy now COACH No, you’re still here. Tony quickly steps through the ropes and climbs up onto the top rope, he eyes Christian Wright on the ground and then prepares to land a flying elbow drop. But the drop is interrupted as Hell Mel finally manages to drag himself up onto the apron by the ropes. The weight of Mel pulling on the top rope shakes it so much that Tony looses his footing and slips off landing with one leg on either side of the turnbuckle. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!! COACH I doubt we’ll see a Tony Jr. now With his partner finally back on the apron Christian Wright quickly moves over and tags him in and then leaves the ring himself to catch his breath after fighting a large portion of the match on his own. Hell Mel swiftly steps through the ropes to show that he’s more or less recovered from the brassknuck attack earlier. Then he climbs up on the second rope, hook Tony around the head and grabs the tights and super-plexes the helpless Brannigan off the top rope to a big pop COACH As you can tell we’ve got a large contingency of women in the audience COLE Men cheer for the Sk8ter Boiz too! COACH *sniggers* yeah men who like men. Mel just stands there and waits for Tony to get back up while giving the ladies in the audience a little treat. With a swift flick of the legs Mel takes Tony down with a drop toe hold that he rolls over into a side headlock on the big man the moment Brannigan made it back up. Hell Mel makes sure the hold is on tight at Tony starts to rise, lifting the lighter Sk8ter Boi up in the air. COLE Brannigan is showing us all that he’s got PLENTY of power left in him COACH And that Mel here is a little shrimp. The moment Tony raises Mel into the air Christian Wright runs down the apron and quickly pushes his partner’s feet to give him enough momentum to turn the headlock into a tornado Bulldog. A split second after the big man’s face has been driven into the canvas Mel leaps to his feet, runs at Tony who’s barely up on his hands and knees and uses him as a step ladder by placing a foot on his back to help him up on the top rope. COLE Damn he’s fast, he’s so fast he’s sudden! COACH What does that even mean? Come on now Cole The Sk8ter Boi flips backwards off the top rope and lands an elbow right to Tony’s lower back weakening it in the process. Mel quickly reaches out and tags Christian before climbing up the ropes again as the referee begins the mandatory 5 count ONE!! Wright climbs up the ropes in his corner to the top rope TWO!! The two men then quickly nod to each other as they both balance on the top rope THREE!! Quickly leaping off Mel lands a back Senton bomb while Christian lands a flying leg drop right across Tony’s throat. FOUR!! Hell Mel quickly rolls out under the bottom rope before the count reaches 5. The moment Mel is under the ropes Wright covers Tony by laying across his chest with all of his weight. ONE!! TWO!! THR-BRUCEBROKETHEPIN! Bruce has rushed the ring and kicked Christian Wright right in the face with his size 16 cowboy boot knocking the Moral Highground off his partner. Hell Mel grabs the top rope and leaps up on the turnbuckles before coming off straight at Bruce YEAaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooohhh!! Instead of knocking the big man down Bruce catches Mel out of the air and then presses him up over his head with ease, lifting a 185 pound man isn’t a problem for Bruce. The referee starts a five count on the King of Pain but the big man doesn’t seem bothered at all. ONE! Instead he runs towards the ropes with Mel still pressed over his head TWO!! Once he gets to the ropes he puts on the brakes while pitching Mel forward, sending the young man flying THREE! All the way past the protective mats, OVER THE GUARDRAIL INTO THE SECOND ROW!! COLE & COACH HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! Hell Mel comes crashing down in the crowd as everyone in that section panics and tries to get away. The referee forgets all about counting and just stares at the chaos at ringside with fans knocking over chairs and jumping over the guardrail to get out of the way. With the referee distracted Bruce grabs Christian Wright by the throat and lifts him up in the air before throwing him backwards into the corner striking the turnbuckle with the back of his head. Then he pulls Tony on top of Wright and leaves the ring. COLE You son of a bitch! ONE! TWO!! THREE!! COACH Bruce stole that one – Damn it all to hell he advances to the Battle Royal COLE And so does Tony Brannigan COACH Alright so at least one good thing comes from all of this. Bruce is on the outside, celebrating his victory without paying any attention to what’s going on in the ring, not noticing that Brannigan and Wright seem to be talking about something, then quickly nodding to each other before they slide out of the ring and attack Bruce from behind YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Tony lets a series of clubbing forearms drive Bruce down to the floor followed by a basemen drop kick from Christian Wright that knocks Bruce back against the guardrail with enough force to shift it backwards. COACH That’s what I wanted to see! A bit of OAOAST unity! COLE Speaking of unity imagine what’ll happen when Bruce gets in there with 15 tried and true OAOAST superstars? COACH Oh I can’t wait to see that – MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA COLE Did you just do the evil laugh? COACH Erm. . . Oh look a commercial break.

“MEAN” GENE If you’ve just joined us Ladies and Gentlemen, the Battle Bowl tournament is in full swing, with a number of superstars already going through to the finals. It’s time for our next tag team contest. Maria, would you do the honors? Maria reaches into the box and pulls out two names, handing them over to Okerland. GENE Now, our next tag team combination. First, a former tag team champion and current six man tag team champion, JOHNNY JAX! “YEEEEEEEAH!” Jax slaps hands with his tag team partners Scotty Static and Jamie O’Hara, who wish him luck as he leaves the room. GENE And his partner, one half of the Tag Team Champions, SYNTH ESISER!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHH!” A manly hug between Synth and Logan is the scene in the back, as the drummer makes his way to the ring. COLE What a team! Two tag team specialists are now partners! Synth and Jax appear at the top of the entrance ramp, already discussing strategy as they walk down to the ring. GENE And their opponents… Maria again grabs two names, handing the first one to Gene. GENE Yet another champion… the Heartland Champion, OTAKU II! Otaku grabs his belt from beside him and jumps once, readying himself for the bout. COLE Wow, a lot of fan favourites in this bout! GENE And Otaku’s partner… Maria’s expression changes as she reads the final participant, before handing it to Okerland. Gene stops as he reads the paper in his hand, a smile developing across his face. GENE This match just got even more interesting. Otaku’s partner is none other than a former OAOAST World Champion… DREK STONE! “YEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!” COACH Oh my! Drek teaming up with Otaku II to take on a current tag team champion and a former tag team champion! As Cole finishes, Otaku bursts through the curtain, the Heartland Title around his waist. In his first in-ring action since defeating Brock Ausstin, Otaku stays outside the ring, waiting for his opponent. COLE Otaku ready for this bout, but he didn’t come out with his partner. Knowing Drek like we do, its easy to understand why, right Coach? COACH Drek’s his own man. He’s never been one to play second banana to anybody. That’s why his alliance with Hoff and Axel is so special, no one’s the leader. Sure, Axel might be going for President, but he knows he can’t do it without Hoff and Drek, and vica versa. No competition between friends, they just want to dominate. Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun Momma said you’d be the chosen one “YEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The crowd go NUT, in a negative way, for Drek Stone. Drek steps through the curtain, confident as ever, as he surveys what’s in front of him. Behind Drek steps the would-be President of this company, Axel, a smile present on his face. COLE Oh would you look at this! No one else gets music! COACH Axel is obviously out here for moral support! Always good to see the boss Michael! COLE He’s not the boss yet. COACH But he still knows how to pull some strings! Walking down the ramp, “Woke up This Morning” continues, and the two franchise players make their way down the ramp, with Axel happy to play second fiddle to one of his best friends in the company, Drek Stone. Otaku stares at Drek, and Drek back at his partner, breaking the silence and advising Otaku on the gameplan. Meanwhile, Axel strolls over to Sofa Central, to a surprised Michael Cole and Jonathon Coachman. COACH Wow! What a treat! COLE It appears we may have some guest commentary here… have a seat. Fixing his headset, Axel makes himself comfortable, and making sure to not damage the obscenely expensive suit he’s wearing. COACH Dressing in style, eh boss? AXEL Always. I’m out of that Scott Levy stage, no more gothic hobo Axel. COLE And I assume you have a vested interest in this matchup? AXEL Of course, that’s my boy in there. Next OAOAST World Champion. COLE What about Hoff? AXEL Hoff’s the Inebriation World Champion. That reminds me, monkeys, if you’re listening, make sure you order another few bottles of that girly crap. Hoff loves that stuff. COLE You drink backstage? AXEL Of course. It’s the Australian way. COLE Well, let’s take it to the ring, where it looks like its Drek Stone and Johnny Jax are going to start it off. These two used to be allies about a year ago when the Upstarts began wreaking havoc. AXEL I remember it well. It’s a pity now though; Johnny and Scotty had so much potential. COACH They’re champions… AXEL Look who they’re knocking around with. A real pity. Oh well, they’ll learn. Drek and Jax start it off with a stare down, the two men no strangers to each other, as they were firm allies a year ago. Obviously Johnny still harbours resentment at Drek’s departure from the company, as he goes so far as to slap Drek in the face! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COLE Johnny Jax disrespecting Drek Stone! Drek, seemingly woken up from the blow, comes right back with hard right hands to the temple of Johnny Jax, but Jax comes back with rights of his own to the cheers of the crowd. Boot to the midsection by Drek, Irish Whip, but its reversed, Johnny flies into the ropes, and knocks Drek down with the shoulder block. Johnny off the ropes again, Drek drops under the charging Jax, Johnny off the other side, leapfrog by Drek, Johnny off the ropes again, but is STOPPED by a beautiful Drek Stone dropkick! AXEL Bam! Right in the kisser! COLE Drek Stone with a beautiful dropkick that just floors Johnny Jax! Stone takes advantage of Johnny’s stunned state, bringing the six man tag champ to his feet, and connecting with a right hand, and a boot to the stomach. Front face lock applied by Drek, and he sends Johnny over with a picture perfect vertical suplex, floating over and hooking the leg for a cover! ONE!!!!! TW-NO! Johnny kicks out before the count of two. AXEL That cover there wasn’t meant for a pinfall, but to wear down Johnny Jax. Drek’s walking around at about two thirty eight, two forty these days. He’s a blue chipper, and every time Johnny has to force Drek’s body off of his, that expends a great amount of his energy. Drek pulls Johnny to his feet and forces him back into a corner, where the Heartland Champion, Otaku II, is waiting for a tag. Drek looks at the outstretched hand of Otaku, grinning smugly and simply dragging Johnny by the hair into a neutral corner. COLE Otaku wants a tag! What is Drek doing? AXEL He doesn’t need this kid. Otaku needs to sit back and take notice of greatness. Drek drives shoulders into the midsection of Johnny, before sending one half of the GPX into the opposite corner. Drek charges after Johnny, but Jax gets a boot up and into the mush of Drek, who stumbles backward, reeling from the shot. Drek doesn’t have much time to reel, though, as he is FLOORED by a Johnny Jax clothesline, sending the crowd into a frenzy! COLE Greatness, huh? COACH Quiet Cole, you’ve got no clue about greatness. AXEL Neither do you. COACH Yes sir. Drek pops up from the clothesline, but is immediately peppered with right hands, as Johnny forces the former champion back into his corner, where he tags in one half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, Synth Esiser. Synth picks up where Johnny left off, laying right hands and solid knees into Drek Stone. Bringing him out of the corner, Synth hooks Drek up for a vertical suplex, lifting the Brooklyn native high in the air, but not finishing the job, as Drek drops behind Synth, taking him down to the mat by the head in an Edge-o-matic! AXEL Beautiful! Now do what you do boy! COLE What are you, a rapper now? COACH Chillin in the hood! AXEL Michael, I don’t envy your job. Getting to his feet after the Edge-o-matic, Drek steps back… a little too far it seems, as Otaku II tags himself into the match, despite Drek’s earlier attempt to stay in the ring. Storming into the ring, the Heartland Champion takes the fight to Synth, connecting with a solid forearm, followed by a hard knife edged chop! “WOOO!” AXEL I love Ric Flair, but I hate what he’s brought to live crowds. Otaku with another forearm, and another chop! The combination a third time! With Synth now on Dream Street from the blows, Otaku connects with one elbow strike, and another, before raising his arm, flying off of the ropes and hitting the ROARING ELBOW! COLE The Roaring Elbow by Otaku! COVER! AXEL I like it! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWONO!!!!!!!!! After being knocked down by the elbow, Synth still manages to kick out at the count of two. This only serves to motivate Otaku, as he applies a headlock to Synth, and while not a pretty move, it serves to keep Synth incapacitated and makes it very difficult for the tag champion to catch his breath. Synth still manages to get to his feet while in the hold, though, and elbows Otaku in the gut before pushing the Heartland Champion into the ropes. Otaku flies off, Synth ducks under another elbow attempt, and drops Otaku with a neckbreaker! AXEL And that’s what happens when you put somebody in a headlock. No imagination. COLE A second ago you were praising the guy! AXEL Hey, you don’t see myself, Drek or Hoff slapping on headlocks after a kick out. Synth takes this opportunity to regain his composure and bring Otaku back into the corner, where he tags in Johnny Jax. The two tag team specialists go to work, hooking Otaku II in a double front face lock, and taking him over in a double suplex! Johnny follows up on this, teeing off on the skull of Otaku with right hands, before bringing the Heartland Champ to his feet, scooping him up, and slamming him down hard, back first to the mat. Johnny comes off of the ropes and drops an elbow on the chest of Otaku, hoping to drive the air out of the OAOAST rookie. Jax follows up with a cover… ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOONO! Otaku kicks out at the count of two, but Johnny is right there, staying on offense. Bringing Otaku back to his corner, Johnny makes a quick tag to Synth, who jumps into the ring and up to the second rope. Another scoop slam by Johnny is delivered, before Synth continues with what works, and delivers an elbow drop from the second rope! Cover by Synth this time! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOONO!!!!! Otaku kicks out again, but its clear that he is losing a large amount of energy. COLE I like this strategy by Synth and Johnny, they’re exploiting one team member and continuing to work the double team. The slams, the elbows, all these moves are driving the air from Otaku, and the constant delivery makes it increasingly difficult for the Heartland Champion to regain his breath. AXEL This is classic tag team wrestling. Otaku has to do everything he can to stay out of that corner, and get the tag to my man. Synth continues to lay the punishment down on Otaku, lifting him to his feet, before applying a front face lock. Synth turns out of the front face lock, and drops Otaku to the mat with another neckbreaker! Otaku sits up after the move, as a result of the velocity. Synth takes this opportunity to slap on a Sleeper Hold, with Otaku now having to fight for every breath. COACH Come on Otaku, fight! COLE Since when have you been an Otaku fan? COACH Since he got drawn as Drek Stone’s tag team partner! Otaku tries desperately to fight out of the sleeper, with Synth making sure that the maximum amount of bodyweight is being put on his foe. Otaku is strong mentally as well as physically though, and he shows this as he begins to fight out of the hold, getting to one knee and slowly to his feet. Otaku shows his new, angrier attitude by landing a right hand to the stomach of Synth. A second right hand, followed by a third; and Otaku is free of the sleeper hold. Otaku boots Synth in the midsection, and sends him for an Irish Whip. Flying off of the ropes, Synth tries a clothesline, Otaku ducks, Synth stops, turns, Otaku with a left kick, Synth blocks it… ENZIGURI by the Heartland Champion! COLE Enziguri! Both men are down, and both men need to desperately make a tag! With both men on the canvas, the referee begins his ten count… ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR!!! Both men are starting to stir, and are beginning to crawl to their corners… FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEE!!! SIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!!!!! AXEL Drek is desperate for a tag, he wants to finish this. Otaku reaches out… …and TAGS Drek Stone! “YEEEEEEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” At the same time, Synth tags Johnny Jax, who storms into the ring! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!” Drek and Johnny meet in the ring brandishing right hands. After trading blows, its Johnny Jax that gets the better of Drek, peppering him with blows. Irish Whip by Johnny, reversed by Drek, Drek tries a clothesline, Johnny ducks, Drek turns, and is FLOORED by the incoming Johnny Jax! Drek up quickly, and Johnny continues the punishment! Boot to the midsection, and Johnny lifts Drek up for the Cradle Shock! COLE Cradle Shock coming! AXEL No its not! Drek somehow wriggles out of the predicament! Sliding down his back, Drek pushes Johnny away while he takes a couple of steps back into his opposing corner! Synth sees this, and grabs Drek by the arm, leaving him open for the charging Johnny Jax… …DREK MOVES! Johnny hits Synth! AXEL Now THAT’S some teamwork boys! Johnny, shocked at the botch, turns around, but turns right into a boot to the midsection by Drek! STONECUTTER! AXEL Good night nurse! ONE!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Drek rolls off of Johnny Jax victoriously as he gains the winning pinfall, and Michael Buffer announces the victory. BUFFER Here are your winners… DREK STONE AND OTAAAAAAAKKUUU II!!!! COLE Drek and Otaku pick up the win after a costly mistake by Johnny Jax. AXEL Correction Michael, Drek Stone picks up the win. He didn’t need any help. COACH Yeah! COLE You love disrespecting wrestlers, don’t you? AXEL Not as much as I like running this company. Which I… which WE will do come July 30. It’s been a pleasure. Wait, no, it hasn’t. Throwing down his headset, Axel rolls into the ring to congratulate Drek Stone on his victory. Otaku sees the two former champions in the ring, grabbing his belt, and moving to the back, needing to prepare for the Battle Royal.

GENE All right. Maria, if you'd do the honors. The next 4 competitors in Battlebowl, please. Maria pulls an envelope out of the bin and hands it to Gene. GENE Former Puerto Rican Champion...THE MAD CAPPA! Cappa exits the lockerroom to a mix reaction from the live crowd. Maria draws another name. GENE His partner...one-half of the World 6-Man tag team champions, representing The Hooligans, "The Birmingham Bad Boy"...JAMIE O'HARA! Still hobbled from the aftermath of the Great Angle Bash but looking much better than he did on Thursday night, Jamie chest bumps his fellow Hooligans. JOHNNY JAX Go gut them suckas, Bad Boy! "BOOOOOOOYEEEEAAAAHBOOOOOOYEEEEEAAAAAH!" Cappa is the first to appear onstage and is soon followed out by "The Birmingham Bad Boy," who nearly leapfrogs over the Mad Cappa while jumping on his back to pysche the madman up. GENE Their opponents... Gene reaches for the envelope Maria pulls out and "accidently" drops it down her blouse. GENE My heavens. Heh. Clumsy me. Let me get that for you, dear. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Gene takes his sweet ass time retriving the envelope from inside Maria's blouse. The commsumate professional, Maria displays her pearly whites completely oblivious to the fact old man Okerlund is copping a feel or two. COLE Jesus, Gene. Any longer and we're gonna need the Jaws of Life! COACH Somehow I doubt this is the first time Maria has been punk'd on camera. A little insider reference for you nerds out there. Live long and prosper, bitches! GENE Heh. Well, I think I'll tag along with the Heavenly Rockers back to Sin City after the show. Daddy needs a new pair of pants! Anyway, back to the task at hand. One of the opponents for Jamie O'Hara and the Mad Cappa is...the 24/7 Champion, the "New Age Love Machine"... LEON ROOOODEZ! 'YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Thunderous ovation for the 24/7 Champion, slapping hands with his little sis and her tag team of D*LUX as well as the OAOAST World tag team champions, The Heavenly Rockers. The camera zooms in on a teenage girl's "MAMA SAID KNOCK ME UP" sign as Leon Rodez jives to the ring. GENE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Leon's partner none other than... MISTER WARRIOR!!! 'YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" The only one of the 4 to get his music played, OAOAST cult favorite Mr. Warrior BURSTS through a HOUSE OF MIRRORS on his way to the ring, running up the steel steps and around the squared circle, frantically shaking the ropes. * BOOM * Mr. Warrior climbs up all 4 corners and motions to the Heavens, seemingly feeding off the energy nobody but he feels. He steps down and thrusts his pelvis while pumping his fists in something akin to a tribal dance. COLE He's here! Mr. Warrior is here! And listen to this reaction he's getting from the OAOAST faithful at Madison Square Garden. The music dies down and the action sets to begin. Leon attempts to communicate with Mr. Warrior but he has none of it, zoning off in his own world. Unable to reach his partner verbally Leon resorts to hand signals, gesturing to the gods above and drawing the ire of Mr. Warrior. MR. WARRIOR Who are you, mere mortal, to mock the beliefs of Mr. Warrior and his Supermanics? LEON I just want to win the match, dude. MR. WARRIOR And we shall if you believe in the power of the Supermanics and Mr. Warrior-ah. Do you believe, mere mortal? LEON Uh, if it helps us win the match...yeah, okay. MR. WARRIOR Then you and I will walk into the battlezone as two and leave as one. We shall reign supreme! Leon waits for Mr. Warrior to walk away, pumping fists and all, before looking over his shoulder and saying to the viewers at home... LEON Shh. I think he's crazy. COACH You and me both. * DING DING * Leon Rodez and Jamie O'Hara to start for their respective teams. A little showmanship from both men, each trying to outshine the other before locking up. And it's Leon who finds himself on the defensive early, placed in a side headlock. Rodez fights out, shoving O'Hara to the ropes. Beautifully execute hiptoss puts O'Hara on his back. Leon looks to capitalize, reaching down to scoope Jamie up but is kicked away. O'Hara takes charge, shooting Leon to the ropes...STANDING DROPKICK STRAIGHT TO THE JAW! ONE... TWO-- KICKOUT! COLE I think that's a trend we'll see throughout the match -- quick pin attempts. You don't want to go into Battlebowl after having wrestled a grueling match. The sooner you can put your opponents away the better. Jamie and Leon trade armdrags until Jamie grounds Leon with a side headlock. Rodez scissors the head, making Jamie break the headlock and float on top. ONE... TWO... "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon draws the awe of the crowd as he BRIDGES UP AND UNDER, but struggles to bring Jamie down in a backslide. The Mad Cappa enters the ring after receiving his cue...and CLOTHESLINES JAMIE to give him the mometum he needs to flip over land a JAB. COLE You don't think O'Hara...? * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * Jamie turns to the crowd and blows them a kiss, then turns back to Rodez and connects with an enzurigi...NO! Leon ducks and gives Jamie a FACIAL! Leon bobs from side to side and shows Jamie what his mama taught him by way of LL Cool J. * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * Face crowd, blow kiss, turn and hit enzurigi. MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The pop for mama's advice is nowhere near the one Mr. Warrior receives when he's tagged in for the first time. But unlike a virgin, he knows what to do. Mr. Warrior delivers a series of scoope slams as well as clothesline to both Jamie O'Hara and the Mad Cappa. And unlike NASA, there's never a delay when it comes time for Mr. Warrior to launch someone in the air, as Jamie discovers when he's sent into orbit and back down to earth via a bodydrop. Pounding his chest like a gorilla and raising his arms to the Heavens, Mr. Warrior doesn't see the Mad Cappa sneak up behind him. Suddenly, Mr. Warrior is caught in a world of hurt, the victim of a full nelson. MR. WARRIOR Speak to me, SUUUUUUUUUUUPERMAAAAAAANIACS!!!! "MIS-TER WARRIOR!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "MIS-TER WARRIOR!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "MIS-TER WARRIOR!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* Fueled by the power of his Supermanics, Mr. Warrior breaks the full nelson and locks it on the Mad Cappa, but Jamie O'Hara brings him down in a school boy! ONE... KICKOUT! COACH This guy is a nutcase, Cole. At least Jamie knows what to expect when dealing with The Wildcards -- bloodshed and violence. Mr. Warrior's just one crazy son of a...DAYUM~! Mr. Warrior clobbers Jamie with a clothesline so stiff not only does it echo throughout MSG but it causes Jamie to fall out to the ring apron! Leon Rodez and Mr. Warrior make an exchange. Leon intent on returning Jamie back inside the ring with a suplex, but as he lifts O'Hara up he's struck in the gut by a right hand, enabling O'Hara to float over and whip Rodez to the ropes. But it's reversed and Jamie's the one who finds himself going into the ropes at a high speed. O'Hara leapfrogs over an attempted backdrop and jumps onto the middle rope, catching Leon turning around with a MOONSAULT INVERTED DDT!! COLE O'Hara and Cappa are gonna advance to Battlebowl. Add them to the list of men who will compete for a chance to main event the biggest show of the summer for the biggest prize in professional wrestling, the OAOAST Championship. ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! His body already banged up as it is, Jamie wastes no time tagging in the fresher man. The Mad Cappa scales the turnbuckles and connects with a TOP ROPE LEGDROP! ONE... TWO... THRE-- KICKOUT! Rodez sent face-first into the corner turnbuckle. Cappa following up with a fury of knife-edge chops, Rodez fighting back with chops of his own. Leon winds Cappa up for an Irish whip, but the Mad Cappa counters. As he's about to hit the ropes, Leon crumbles over after being knee'd in the back by Jamie. He finds no mercy from Cappa who delivers a devastating CAPPABOMB! COACH This is what makes Battlebowl so great, baby boy. It brings out the animal in every OAOAST superstar. You'll see guys do things you'd never expect for a shot at the World Title. ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Cappa is about to approach Jamie for a tag when he's asked to slam Leon closer to the corner, which the Mad Cappa obliges. Jamie goes up to the top and lands the most sensational 450 kneedrop you'll ever see. He dives on Rodez and looks directly into the camera, "NOTHIN' BUT KNEEDROP!" ONE... TWO... THREE...NO! Agitated from the turn of events, Mr. Warrior breaks up the pin. Nick Patrick thinks twice about lecturing Mr. Warrior after he's given the coldest and most psychotic stare imaginable, one of sweat trickling down a trembling face. Jamie prances around Mr. Warrior like Los Diablos de Fuego's missing boy toy, sending Mr. Warrior into a fit of rage because all Supermanics know queering don't make the world right. Nick Patrick restrains Mr. Warrior while Jamie and Cappa go to work, putting the boots to Leon behind the referee's back. O'Hara and Cappa continue their excellent teamwork, knocking Rodez off his feet with a double clothesline. After enduring a mouthful of mumbo jumbo from the Supermanic, the referee turns his attention back to the action in the ring. What does he see? Jamie and Cappa double-teaming Rodez? No. All he sees is Jamie going up to the top after delivering a bodyslam to Leon. Shooting Star Legdrop...DA BLING THING... ...MISSING ITS TARGET!! COLE Leon moved out of the way! O'Hara remains seated, grimacing in pain as he holds onto his BUTT cheeks. He and Leon engaing in a race to make the tag first. And it's Jamie. Cappa steps through the ropes and finds Mr. Warrior waiting in the wings! COLE Leon with the tag! Cappa sees his punched block and his head driven into the chest of Mr. Warrior in a unique varation of the headbutt. His adrenaline in overdrive Mr. Warrior unleashes DESTRUCITY~! Punch, chop. Punch, chop. His offensive onslaught simple yet effective. Down goes Cappa. Down goes O'Hara. Jamie swings and misses, Mr. Warrior grabbing the arm and hitting the HUMP HANDLE SLAM! Clothesline for Cappa. And a clothesline for...LEON RODEZ!?!? COACH Oh, he hit Rodez. I told you. I told, Cole, Mr. Warrior is a nutcase. You can't trust the guy to watch your back. He'll turn on you in a split-second. COLE Don't you go starting rumors, Johnathan Coachman. It was an accident. You know it. COACH An accident that may have just cost them both a shot at the title. :o :o The expression on everyone's face says it all. Did Mr. Warrior mean to clothesline Leon or was it just in the heat of the moment? Mr. Warrior attends to the farewell of his partner, SLAPPING him in the face to revive the Silky Smooth One. But it's Mr. Warrior who may need to be revived as Cappa comes from behind and spins him around. Kick, wham, stunner! BUST A CAPPA! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO, KICKOUT WITH A-MOTHERFUCKIN' AUTHORITY!!!! Mr. Warrior rises up, jogging in place and pumping his fist in the air. Cappa with a shot from behind. No effect. Another shot. Nothing. Cappa climbs to the top and delivers a missle dropkick...only to bounce right off of Mr. Warrior! Clothesline. Again and again. Cappa whipped to the ropes. The big boot. Reaching up to the Heavens Mr. Warrior lifts Cappa up overhead, PRESSING~ Cappa up in the air before dropping him down to the mat! Cappa pops up clutching his midsection as Mr. Warrior hits the ropes and connects with a flying shoulderblock. Mr. Warrior picks Cappa off the mat, leaving him jelly-legged in the center of the ring as he hits the ropes and delivers another flying shoulderblock. Incredibly, Mr. Warrior brings Cappa back to his feet. Kicking his knees up and rocking his fist, Mr. Warrior hits a third shoulderblock! Off the ropes, over Cappa's body and off the ropes again goes Mr. Warrior before dropping down a big time splash! ALDONSTERONE!! COLE That's gonna do it. Mr. Warrior and Leon Rodez will advance to Battlebowl. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DING DING DING * CUE: "Black Sweat" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and ADVANCING to Battlebowl... LEON RODEZ and MR. WARRIOR! Mr. Warrior pounds the top rope in celebration, then flees the scene, sprinting backstage. Still a bit stunned from the clothesline but thrilled to be moving on, Leon Rodez plays down what happened between him and Mr. Warrior, giving the fans a nod and a smile before shaking the ropes like his Battlebowl partner and throwing his arms up in the air as he runs to the back. COLE Heh. Leon Rodez having a bit of fun on this 4th of July. With everybody running around, we're gonna run it up to "Mean" Gene Okerlund and the lovely Maria for our next drawing.

COLE Right now, back to Mean Gene! GENE OKERLUND Well, folks...we've had some odd pairings and sensational bouts so far, eh Toots? MARIA Hey, Mr. Okerlund...how'd you know about my cat? GENE Huh? MARIA My cat...I named her "Toots", because when she poops, she makes this sound with her mouth like a train...she goes "Toot! Toot!" It's adorable GENE Woman...it's a good thing you got breasts. That's all I gotta say...anyway, open the bowl and let's draw some more teams! (Drumroll begins, as Gene spins the bingo hopper. Maria opens it and picks two balls out of the hopper.) MARIA You know, my 8th grade English teacher gave me extra credit because I grabbed a couple of his balls kind of like this... GENE Whoa, whoa, whoa...(fans self off with format sheet) Maria, wowzers! Anyway, let's open those up and see who our next team is... MARIA (reads names off of pieces of paper in balls) We have the team of...the Marv and Jumbo! WHOOOOO! We get a split-screen shot from both locker rooms, as Jumbo has a big smile on his face and The Marv sadly hugs his brother Hell Mel and slowly goes to the ring, to the taunting of his fellow rulebreakers... "Sweet Home Chicago" blares from the PA system, and out walks Jumbo, just happy to be here. He slaps hands with the fans, as The Marv trails far behind, looking upset in general. COLE These two are the definition of the Lethal Lottery: two COMPLETE opposites in the ring! Let's take it back to Gene & Maria! GENE Maria, the next two names...and please, no more anecdotes! (Maria draws two more names, then opens the ball-shaped containers) MARIA Their opponents...Gibraltar...and HOFF! Cut to a shot of the heel locker room, as high-fives go all around! Saint Andrew & Gibraltar, watching from the very back, unite with their teammate Hoff right in front of the door. Hoff shakes hands with Saint Andrew and slaps Gibraltar's chest, eliciting a "ROOOOAR!" out of the monster. They excitedly head out of the door! "Hypnotize" starts up...and about ten seconds later, out walks the monster duo! COACH This is another example of the luck of the draw: you'd never see these two team together, but they're one hell of an imposing team, and no doubt in my mind could be better than a majority of the regular teams in this company just in sheer physicality! COLE This is a true all-star team...you have the largest monster in the company teaming with last year's winner and, if you remember far back, he's the only man to ever be able to slam Gibraltar in singles competition. In other words, the only possible chance of eliminating Gibraltar this early is now teaming up with the big man! They quickly walk down the ramp, as Saint Andrew laughs and laughs about the luck of his protege. :BELL RINGS:: Jumbo offers to start the match for his team, but The Marv tells his partner to "stand back and watch". The Marv motions for either of his huge opponents to "bring it on". Saint Andrew climbs onto the ring apron and asks Hoff to start off, so he does. The Marv flexes his near-non-existant "guns" to try and intimidate Hoff. Hoff (and the crowd) just giggle. Marv then charges at Hoff and goes for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but gets shoved half-way across the ring! COLE Um...is it just me, or is Marv freakin' delusional? Marv rolls all the way backwards and back up to his feet, flabbergasted. He charges at Hoff again...and Hoff slaps him HARD in the face! Marv bumps off of the insane slap! Marv slowly crawls up to his feet, as Hoff just watches on, in amusement. The Marv gets up, and slaps Hoff in return, albeit much less effectively. Marv turns around and gloats to the audience about what he's done, leaving Hoff the opening to come behind and give him a HUGE side suplex, right on his head! COACH Welcome to Battlebowl, Marv! Hoff pulls The Marv up and sends him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Hoff comes off of the ropes on the other end and connects with a big diving shouldertackle! Hoff rolls over and kips up, then points to Gibraltar...the crowd cheers! COLE These two are usually hated rulebreakers, but I guess anyone that destroys the obnoxious Marv can get cheered! Hoff tags in the 7'3 monster! Gibraltar walks in over the top rope, and grabs Marv by the back of his pants while he tries to crawl out. Gibraltar holds him up horizontally by the back of his pants, looking for something to do with the defenseless Sk8ter Boi. Saint Andrew yells and points at an empty corner, so Gibraltar carelessly tosses The Marv into a corner, where he takes an insane Flair-style upside-down bump! Gibraltar pulls the dazed Marv up and forces him into the corner, chest-first. Gibraltar then delivers a STIFF chop to the upper-back of the former tag champion! Gibraltar follows up with a hard crossface with the same arm! The monster then goes into a frenzy, rapid-fire-style changing up between those two strikes, absolutely decimating Marv to the crowd's delight! COACH GEEZ! Finally, Gibraltar backs off, comes off of the ropes, and delivers a GIGANTIC Yakuza boot to the back of The Marv's head! Marv crumbles to the mat, but Gibraltar pulls him up again. Gibraltar lifts him for a HUGE vertical suplex, walks over to the opposite corner, and suplexes Marv right in front of his partner! Jumbo then tags himself in! Marv rolls to the apron, as the well-over 400-pounder comes in. Jumbo storms into center-ring and goes chest-to-chest with Gibraltar. The two stare at one another intensely... COLE This might be the heaviest man that Gibraltar's encountered yet! Gibraltar pounds his chest, so Jumbo comes off of the ropes with a shoulderblock..and neither man budges! Gibraltar slaps his chest again, so Jumbo comes off of the ropes again with another shoulderblock...neither man budges! The crowd gets louder, as Jumbo gets angry...he comes off of the ropes, goes for a shoulderblock...but Gibraltar gets under him and brings him over with a GIGANTIC belly-to-belly overhead suplex! COACH WOW! Gibraltar quickly gets to his feet, as he pulls Jumbo up to his feet. He connects with a hard forearm to Jumbo's back, then sends him off with an Irish whip. Jumbo bounces off of the ropes and runs into a big powerslam! Gibraltar pops up and screams to the heavens! The Marv, somehow up from his beating, gets the brilliant idea to leap off of the top rope to try and attack the seven-plus-footer. He leaps off...and Gibraltar SWATS the Sk8ter Boi out of the air with a back-handed strike! He grabs Marv and points at Hoff, then tosses him towards the corner. COACH This doesn't look good... Gibraltar pulls Jumbo up, as Hoff enters the ring and grabs The Marv. The referee looks scared to do anything about the illegal men, as Hoff hooks Marv under his arm, as Jumbo gets grabbed by the throat. Both big men lift their opponents up...STEREO CHOKEBREAKER AND FUTURE SHOCK! Both men cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! *BELL RINGS* BUFFER YOUR WINNERS....HOFF AND GIBRRRRALLLTAAAAR! Saint Andrew rushes into the ring and leaps onto his monstrous protege, hugging him in joy. Hoff sticks his hand out for a respect fist-pound, and Gibraltar replies with the fist. Gibraltar & Andrew then leave the ring, as you can already hear Andrew plot strategy for the Battlebowl... COLE I bet most of these guys in the Lottery thought they'd only have to deal with one of these major threats to the throne tonight in the battle royal...now they have both! COACH On one hand, who's going to throw out Gibraltar? On the other hand, Hoff's the only man in this company to win one of these! These two have to be the hands-down favorites! COLE This Thursday on HeldDOWN~!, we were introduced to the newest member of this company's roster, "The Capturist" Zane Maxwell, a British grappling star who was basically disgusted by the showmanship of the OAOAST and vows to bring "wrestling" back to this company, which I guess means he hasn't seen any of the spectacular bouts in this company's history... COACH That aside, the man is a great grappler. He's had five matches in his entire career go over five minutes, as his ability to tangle a man up and pin his shoulders to the mat is so swift and incredible that no one's really found an answer for it yet. He's actually forefeited titles before just so he can earn them back and challenge himself, an unprecedented fact about any wrestler in history... COLE He is Zane Maxwell, and he is NEXT! "Hung Up" starts playing, as the lights in the building dim down...a brilliant laser-light show starts up, lighting up the entire rampway. Out come twelve young Japanese girls, dressed like Sailor Moon, doing a sea-related dance. Out comes Dance Dance Dragon, who does a cartwheel, then handsprings the rest of his way down to the ring..His dancers circle around the ring and continue their dancing, as Dance Dance Dragon starts dance-stepping on squares made in the ring by small spotlights. COLE It's always a spectacle when you have a dragon around, let alone one that's tapped into the Japanese youth market! He finishes his dance with a backflip into a split, and the lights come up. BUFFER The following is a non-Battlebowl singles exhibition bout...first, from Osaka, Japan...he weighs in at 179 pounds...DANCE DANCE DRRRRRRRAGOOOON! COACH Dragon's had some...um...urr...interesting battles with Cardinal X as of late. But, I don't know if he's prepared for the unorthodox attack of the newcomer. Cut to a wide shot of the arena, as "The Ballad of Jim Jones" by Brian Jonestown Massacre starts up. Out comes "The Capturist Zane Maxwell, wearing a red zip-up long-sleeved jacket. He adjusts his wrist tape as he walks to the ring, ignoring the lukewarm reaction he's getting from the audience... BUFFER His opponent, from Southampton, England...weighing in at seventeen stones, six pounds...here is the debut of "The Capturist" Zane Maxwell! Zane brushes off the bottoms of his boots on the apron before entering the ring, then takes a sip out of a water bottle and finishes his stretching. *BELL RINGS* Dragon charges at Zane, but Maxwell puts half of his body out between the top and middle ropes, demanding that the referee stop "that bloody madman". The referee forces Dragon to back off, successfully slowing down the pace for the larger Englishman. Zane comes back fully into the ring and slowly comes towards mid-ring, sticking his hand out. Dragon comes close and grabs on for the beginnings of a Greco-Roman knucklelock...but Zane rolls sideways and right into applying a hammerlock. COLE Say what you will about Zane Maxwell, but you have to admit he's too damn quick to be 6'3 and whatever "seventeen stones, six pounds" is, and the guy knows his mat game. He cranks on the left arm, but Dragon tries for a go-behind escape into a headlock....but Zane slips out the back end, then comes forward and applies a headlock of his own! Zane then nonchalantly transitions into a drop toe hold takedown, floating over on the mat into a front facelock. Dance Dance Dragon gets both elbows underneath him, then pushes up, getting underneath his larger opponent to power him up. Dragon forces both himself and Zane into a standing position, so Maxwell switches his arms up into a three-quarter chancery, also known as the cravate. COACH In the early moments, Zane Maxwell's been doing an excellent job of controlling his much-smaller and faster opponent's body. Zane briefly cranks on the head before snapmarring Dragon over. He then backs up slowly into the ropes, slowly runs forward, and hits a Hennig Neck Snap. Zane cockily brushes off his hands, then comes off of the ropes and runs at Dragon from the front this time...he dives down at Dragon, but Dragon gets his feet and hands up, locks a double knucklelock while rocking back with Zane on top of his feet, then they rock back the other way, with Zane coming back to his feet...Dragon uses the knucklelock to yank himself up onto Zane's shoulders, standing on them with his knees...then rolls over Zane into a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Dragon's up first, so he comes off of the ropes and nails Zane with a spinning wheel kick! Dance Dance Dragon then climbs straight to the top rope. Maxwell slowly gets up, as the crowd's getting behind Dragon's rush of offense. Dragon turns around quickly and goes for a moonsault, but Zane moves out of the way. Zane points his finger to his head cockily, not seeing that Dragon landed on his feet! Zane smirks, then turns around...and runs right into a front Lungblower! Zane stays bent over mid-ring, holding his chest. Dragon comes off of the ropes in front of Maxwell, but Zane is able to side-step and hook Dragon in a Russian legsweep position, then grabs the other arm and rolls forward into a bizarre crucifix... ONE! TWO! THREE! *BELL RINGS* BUFFER Your winner via pinfall..."The Capturist" ZAAAAANE MAXWEEEEELLL! Zane rolls out of the ring and demands the referee raise his hand in the aisleway, as the crowd boos. Zane walks backwards down the rampway, with an arm behind his back and a peace sign held up with the other. Josh Matthews rushes down with a microphone to interview Zane... JOSH Congratulations on a superb debut... ZANE Let me cut you off right there, you uncircumsized bobblehead. That...that's an average performance for myself. If anything, I'm disappointed I didn't finish the little schalleywag off sooner. That being said, it says a lot when I come to this country and defeat a top competitor without breaking a sweat! JOSH First off, that guy's CLEARLY Japanese, and besides...he had you almost beat at one point, regardless of how long the match went. ZANE Please! I was just trying to make things exciting, trying to get the crowd behind the little Asian humming-bee. From here on out, I have an open challenge out for ANY OAOAST-sanctioned wrestling event...not "show". Anyone that thinks they can last longer than five minutes with me can try it. It can be a fan, it could be a grappler, it could be the World Heavyweight Champion, for all I care...if I win, you become embarrassed in front of the entire world and I get your belt if you're a champion. If you win, I'll pay you (pulls check out of his tights) this: $10,000 American. How about that, chummy? (Zane walks off, zoom into one-shot of Josh) JOSH MATTHEWS Wow! Anyone who wants a shot at Zane Maxwell....come get it! I understand Gene is ready with the next drawing, so let's go over there, to "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Maria!

The camera cuts to Gene Okerlund staring lustfully at Maria who is impressively chewing bubble gum and twirling her hair at the same time. Noticing the camera light is on once again, Gene suddenly regains his composure. OKERLUND Thank you, Michael Cole. With a smile, Maria hands an envelope to the chrome-domed announcer. OKERLUND And thank you Maria. The next superstar to be selected…Crystal! The Madison Square Garden crowd resoundingly boos as the Female Phenom stands up with a smile on her face. Not caring to hear who her partner is, she strides out of the locker room. Meanwhile, Maria hands Gene another envelope. OKERLUND What a pick! And her partner tonight….Bohemoth! Suddenly, those boos that were echoing throughout MSG only a second ago turn into loud cheers as PIMPHEMOTH~! stands up in an impressive blue pinstripe suit. Walking out of the locker room immediately, he makes sure to peel off his finely tailored jacket and dump it on the floor before walking through the double doors. COLE Man, what a team! COACH Crystal and Bohemoth?! That could be the strongest team we see here tonight! OKERLUND And as for their opponents, the first one up…..looks to be Gunner Sharps! Gunner throws his head back in disappointment, pained to see he has been selected to face his business partner. With a scowl, he knocks his chair over and stomps out of the locker room. COLE Wow! Crystal! Bohemoth! Gunner Sharps! Three amazing OAOAST superstars! Who is going to finish this selection out?! OKERLUND And as for Gunner’s partner tonight….why, none other than Spanish Fly! Without warning, a hole opens up on the floor of the locker room. Spanish Fly suddenly jumps up through the hole and raises his arms up to the other superstars still sitting there. Of course, they just stare at him oddly. He then runs out of the locker room to get to the ring. COLE Well….what an interesting partner. COACH What a dud Gunner drew tonight. It’s equivalent to going over the showcase price on the Price is Right and hearing that foghorn sound. Do do do do bwooooomp! COLE Let’s get down to the ring. Once the cameras get to the ringside area, Crystal is already standing and waiting for her partner to enter. Sure enough, the Garden crowd goes absolutely NUT as Bohemoth steps through the curtains and stomps down the ramp. With a cool smile, Crystal stares at her partner, seemingly happy to have drawn such a powerful pick. Meanwhile, as he walks to the ring, Bohemoth rips his earl grey tie off his neck and tosses it to the fans sitting on the left side of the aisleway. He then immediately rips his dress shirt off – he ain’t got time for unbuttoning buttons – and throws it to the people sitting on the right side. COACH He’s ruining that expensive suit. What the hell is wrong with him?! COLE Who cares! It’s PIMPHEMOTH! Once he gets into the ring, Gunner Sharps walks through the curtains. In shades of Gunner’s reaction only a moment ago, Crystal throws her head back in disappointment and kicks the bottom rope. COLE And just like that, the smile has disappeared off Crystal’s face. COACH These two have terrible luck together. Last year, they were drawn against each other at BattleBowl. This year, the same exact thing happens. Unbelievable. With reluctance, Gunner steps through the ropes and into the ring. He looks at Crystal with a wary expression but then turns into stone at the sight of Bohemoth. The two lock eyes from opposite sides of the ring – until Spanish Fly comes dashing down the ramp! He jumps into the ring and slides underneath Gunner’s legs. He then charges forward and brings Crystal down with a high surprise dropkick! *DING DING DING* COLE And here we go with the next BattleBowl match of the night! Upon hitting the mat, Crystal immediately rolls out of the ring to regain her bearings. Not wanting her to do so, Spanish Fly runs and bounces off the opposite ropes. He then dashes forward and prepares to jump over the top rope with a plancha…. ….but Gunner Sharps intercepts him and lifts him up high in the air in a gorilla press slam position! However, instead of dropping him, he just places Fly back on his feet and shoves him towards the corner. COLE Whoa! What’s Gunner doing here? He’s not going to win this match that way! COACH Protecting his business partner, Cole. Some things are bigger than the BattleBowl tourney. Spanish Fly got a little too eager, so Gunner needed to slow him down. Now that Spanish Fly’s speed has been thrown off a bit, Gunner steps through the ropes onto the apron. Meanwhile, Crystal quickly slides into the ring and traps a distracted Fly in a dragon sleeper position. The spanish superstar tries flailing his arms to escape out of the move, but Crystal immediately drops to one knee and cracks her opponent’s back over the other knee. The momentum of the backbreaker bounces Fly into the air before falling on the mat. Crystal quickly goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Knowing that Fly was going to kick out, Crystal doesn’t lose a step with snatching her opponent by his mask and forcing him up to his feet. She gives him a nasty shove into the turnbuckle, steps back, and… “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ….gives him a stinging chop across the chest. Crystal steps back once more and... “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ….slaps another hand against the sternum of the high-flying luchadore. COACH Mah baby gurl is strong! I can tell she’s been working out. With Spanish Fly recoiling from the blows, he’s easy prey for Crystal to take him and irish-whip him into the opposite corner. Once Fly hits the turnbuckle, Crystal ducks her head and charges towards him with a hard spear. However, at the last second, Spanish Fly jumps up and somersaults over the body of the Female Phenom. Upon hitting his feet, Spanish Fly follows through with another long somersault, bringing him to his partner’s corner. He lunges forward and tags in Gunner Sharps! “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Oh man, here we go! Immediately after tagging his partner, Spanish Fly dashes out of the ring so Gunner can’t tag him back in. The fans loudly cheer as Gunner reluctantly steps into the ring and eyeballs his acclaimed business partner. Crystal, not wanting any part of this confrontation either, tries running forward to tag Bohemoth but, sure enough, he jumps off the apron as well. The New York City crowd applauds as Bohemoth chuckles at Crystal’s predicament. COACH What kind of tag team partner is that?! I knew Bohemoth was a coward! He wants no part of Gunner Sharps! COLE Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly why he avoided the tag. With Crystal and Gunner trapped in this hopeless situation, they now have no choice but to battle and see who the better wrestler is. They meet in the center of the ring and shake hands just to show there are no hard feelings. COACH Aww. What great sportsmanship. You just don’t see that anymore, Mikey. Crystal and Gunner Sharps are credits to this sport. After the handshake, Crystal runs a hand through her long blonde hair, while Gunner simply cracks his neck. They stare at each other reluctantly for another moment – before the both of them simply jump through the ropes and start walking up the ramp towards the curtains. COLE Wait a second! What the hell are they doing? As they stroll up the aisleway, the camera catches Crystal mouthing the words “Who needs the BattleBowl? We’ll earn title shots our own way!” Gunner simply nods his head in agreement. COACH I’ll tell you what they’re doing, Cole. They’re sticking together as partners through thick and thin! You have to commend them for that. COLE No I don’t! Both Gunner Sharps and Crystal share wide smiles as they continue to walk towards the back, exchanging middle finger salutes with the fans that choose to disrespect them. COACH Well, maybe next time Spanish Fly and Bohemoth will stop and think before they try to trap their partners in this type of situation. COLE I can’t believe this is about to end….oh! Yes, Michael Cole. “Oh!” is right! Midway between his stroll, Gunner turns towards the ring to taunt his opponent. However, all he can do is watch as Bohemoth comes barreling up the ramp and brings him down with a MONSTER lariat, cracking Gunner’s head against the metal ramp! COACH No! COLE Bohemoth is not just going to stand by and watch as Gunner and Crystal squander his Heavyweight Title opportunity! COACH It’s their decision to leave. Bohemoth has nothing to do with it! Crystal, upset her “partner” would dare do such a thing, turns her attention towards Bohemoth with a look of fury. Yet, before she can do anything, Fly runs up the ramp, jumps up, and wraps his legs around the neck of the Female Phenom. He then brings her down with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, sending her rolling down the ramp and back down towards the ringside area! COLE And it seems Spanish Fly has already done more in this match than you ever expected him to do! COACH But wait a second, Cole! What exactly are the teams here?! Why is this match suddenly turning into Gunner and Crystal facing Bohemoth and Spanish Fly?! COLE I have no idea, but those combinations won’t be entering the battle royal together at the end of the night. With both Fly and Crystal down on the floor for the time being, Bohemoth drags Gunner Sharps back up to his feet by his neck. Grabbing a solid hold of the back of Gunner’s head, Bohemoth charges down the ramp. He then flings Gunner forward – and throws him RIGHT into the turnbuckle post! Gunner’s head bounces off the metal post, sending him spinning down onto the floor. Meanwhile, Spanish Fly has gotten back up and rolled into the ring. COLE You could tell just how badly Bohemoth wants this AngleSlam title shot. He’s just throwing around Gunner Sharps like he’s a ragdoll! Seeing that Bohemoth is still distracted with staring angrily at his tag team partner, Spanish Fly runs and bounces off the ropes. He then dashes forward towards Bohemoth – and JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA… …But Bohemoth catches him and holds him in mid-air! COACH Uh-oh! COLE It looks like his high-risk style may have finally caught up with Spanish Fly. The fans explode in cheers as Spanish Fly suddenly finds himself in a most unappealing situation. Trapped in a powerbomb position, Fly tries to wriggle his way out, but Bohemoth’s grip is simply too strong. In unison, the Madison Square Garden fans turn their thumbs upside down as Bohemoth turns towards the corner post – -- and SLAMS Spanish Fly down with a POWERBOMB ON THE STEEL STEPS! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The New York City crowd becomes rabid with cheers as Spanish Fly wriggles on the arena floor holding his back. Meanwhile, Bohemoth has no time to celebrate. He turns his head to focus his attention on his other opponent – *CRASH!* -- BUT GETS A HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD BONE-SHATTERING SPEAR RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STEPS FROM GUNNER SHARPS!! COLE Oh my God! COACH Turnabout is fair play, after all! The sheer force of the spear sends the top level of the steps flying towards the crowd barricade. Bohemoth immediately clutches at his ribs, but Gunner swats his arms away. He then quickly pulls Bohemoth up by his hair to a standing position and throws him into the ring. COACH You see that there, Mikey? Bohemoth isn’t the only monster the OAOAST has. Gunner Sharps is out to show tonight that he is twice as big and twice as bad! Gunner steps through the arms to continue the attack on his opponent who is already using the ring ropes to pull himself back up. However, once Bohemoth gets back up to his feet, Gunner wraps a huge hand around the throat of his well-dressed rival. With surprising speed, he picks Bohemoth up – COACH What’d I tell you, Cole?! Twice as big… -- and SPIKES him into the mat with a NASTY chokeslam! COACH And twice as bad! The ring shakes mightily following Bohemoth’s plummet. Gunner raises his arms up to the MSG crowd who clearly does not respect what he has been doing tonight. He \ could not care any less however as he moves towards the other side of the ring and waits for Bohemoth to dizzily make it back to a standing position. COLE It looks like he’s getting ready for the spear once again! COACH And this time, it’s going to end the match. That guarantee gets the Coachman Seal of Approval. COLE Of course, Gunner might want to realize sometime soon that Bohemoth is not the legal man. But meh. Bohemoth warily shakes his head and starts pushing his way back up to his feet, unaware of what is waiting behind him. Meanwhile, a vicious grin has crossed the face of Gunner Sharps, who knows this is his time to shine. The Noo Yawk crowd stomps their feet as Bohemoth finally fully makes his way back up. With a deep breath, he slowly turns around. Gunner braces himself to strike! But Spanish Fly suddenly jumps on the apron and slaps Gunner on the back to tag himself in! COACH What the hell is he doing?! Spanish Fly eagerly jumps into the ring and tries running towards Bohemoth, but Gunner grabs his partner by his neck. Furious that Fly would try to ruin this for him, Gunner places a gigantic hand over the face of the luchadore and shoves him down to the mat. COLE That’s disgusting. How disrespectful of Gunner Sharps to just pie-face his partner like that. COACH Gunner has this match well-in-hand. Spanish Fly should just stay the hell out of it. With Spanish Fly temporarily taken out, Gunner immediately charges towards Bohemoth for his spear! But Bohemoth, now aware of what’s going on, intercepts Gunner by lifting him up – -- AND SLAMMING HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A HUGE SPINEBUSTER!! COLE What POWER! COACH He picked Gunner up like he was nothing! The crowd explodes as Gunner bounces off the floor from the impact. Bohemoth intensely looks down at his opponent, which makes it easy for Crystal to run behind him and give him a callous kick to the testicles. COLE What?! They’re supposed to be tag team partners! COACH Again, Cole. Their business partnership is more important than this tournament! Stunned, Bohemoth crumbles to his knees, allowing Crystal to give him a hard kick to the jaw to send the big man down. Suddenly, Spanish Fly surprises the Female Phenom by hitting her with a dropkick from behind, sending her stumbling into the ropes in perfect position for the 619! COLE Here we go! Spanish Fly is ready to end this thing! Before Crystal has a chance to shake the cobwebs out, Spanish Fly runs and jumps between the ropes, swinging around with the 619! But Crystal ducks out of the way! Spanish Fly lands back on his feet inside the ring, which allows Crystal to easily scoop his legs out from underneath him, cross them over, tuck them underarm, and sit back with the CRYSTALLING! COACH She was playing possum the whole time! And now Spanish Fly is trapped! Wanting to end this thing before Bohemoth can get back up, Crystal viciously cranks back on the Crystalling! Spanish Fly has no choice but to quickly tap! *DING DING DING* “Plug In Baby” blasts over the loudspeakers as Crystal immediately releases the hold and rolls out of the ring scrambling her way up the ramp. COLE And now Crystal and Bohemoth are making their way into the battle royal for the AngleSlam title shot at the end of the night. COACH Yep. Crystal dragged that lug kicking-and-screaming into the battle royal. Good for her! COLE But it seems as though she’s trying to quickly run away before that lug could catch up to her. As Crystal runs up to the top of the ramp, and Gunner Sharps limps right behind her, Bohemoth stands up in the ring. He immediately turns his attention towards the Female Phenom celebrating near the entranceway, staring daggers into the heart of the former Heavyweight Champion. COLE Will either Crystal or Bohemoth be fighting for the Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam?! We’ll find out later tonight! COACH At least it won’t be Spanish Fly.

We head back to the Battlebowl drawing room where Mean Gene and Maria are in their usual position. GENE All right Maria, let's keep things rolling with our next matchup. Will you draw the first team please? A smiling Maria reaches into the drum and pulls out another envelope, then hands it over to Mean Gene. GENE The first member of team 1 is......oh ho, time to take your Vitamin X! Vitamin X pumps his fist as he strides out of the locker room. Cut back to Maria as she reaches for the second name. She hands the envelope over to Gene. GENE And his partner will be.....Mike Guerriero! Mike Guerriero gets a high five from Otaku II as he stands from his chair and walks out the door. GENE Ok, Maria. Who are their opponents? Maria draws another envelope and hands it off to Okerlund. GENE The first member of team 2 is........Peter Knight! Knight slaps his hands together and hops to his feet, disappearing out the door before anyone can offer him good luck. COACH You think Knight wants this, Cole? GENE And his partner will be.......Longdogger Pete! The former S.....You-Know-Where star stands and adjusts his knee braces before walking out the door. We head back to the arena. COLE So our next matchup is set as we will see the in-ring return of Peter Knight as he teams up with the newcomer Longdogger Pete to take on Mike Guerriero and Vitamin X. As Cole speaks, we see Guerriero walking down the aisle, slapping the outstretched hands of the fans. Behind him, Vitamin X appears on the stage. The fans boo as VX cockily struts down the rampway and stops to do a little dance for an attractive female fan, who simply dismisses him with a wave. VX Your loss, babe. "BOOOOOOOYeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" A slightly mixed reaction greets Peter Knight as he appears on the stage alongside Longdogger Pete. They seem to be talking strategy, but Knight is doing all the talking at the moment. COLE I wonder what they are planning? COACH Knight's probably telling Pete to just let him handle it so LP doesn't break his hip. Vitamin X and Guerriero stand in their corner, though neither man seems to be paying attention to the other while Knight hops onto the apron and steps through the ropes. Pete walks up the ring steps and starts to step through the ropes, but Knight puts his hand up. COACH See, I told you. Knight slaps his hand against his chest and tells LP "I got this" as Vitamin X also sends his partner to the outside. The two then turn to face each other and VX rubs his hands together and smirks at the former champion while Knight simply puts on his game face. *DING DING* The two men circle the ring to size each other up before locking up for the first time. VX grabs a side headlock but Knight quickly turns it into a hammerlock. VX fires off a series of elbows to break the hold and runs towards the ropes. He bounces off and ducks a Knight clothesline and quickly turns to fire off a chop to Knight's chest.....but the big man barely flinches. He tries another chop, but Knight slowly shakes his head. VX bounces off the ropes and charges towards him.....but Knight scoops him up and drives him to the mat with a sidewalk slam. He drops down for a cover, but VX kicks out before referee Nick Patrick can get into position. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE This New York crowd is loving things so far. VX gets to his knees holding his back. He turns towards his corner to find his partner lightly chuckling at his misfortune, so VX walks over and tags him in, telling him "You do better!" Knight patiently waits for the switch before he sizes up his new opponent. COLE This should be interesting. Both these guys have a similar build and Guerriero likes to take it to the mat. The two lock up and Guerriero grabs a side headlock. Knight backs into the ropes and tries to push him off, but Mike hangs on, dropping to one knee before getting back to a vertical position. He takes him over and Knight lifts his legs to wrap them around Mike's head to break the hold and quickly pops to his feet to deliver an elbow but misses after which Guerriero tries an elbow of his own but hits nothing but canvas as well. Both men get back to their feet and slap on an agressive collar and elbow tie-up, both men jockeying for position. Knight backs Mike into the ropes and releases the hold on Patrick's order.....right before he drives his knee into his gut. He shoves Guerriero into the ropes and drives a few more knees into the midsection over the protest of Patrick. He grabs the wrist and shoots him off, ducking down for a backdrop, but Guerriero flips over him and looks for a sunset flip pin, but Knight sits on his chest and brings Mike's legs up behind him for a pin of his own. 1......but he kicks out. Both men scramble to their feet and pause, a cheer of appreciation rising from the crowd. COLE We don't see Mike Guerriero much lately, so it's easy to forget that he is a solid wrestler. COACH Who has the personality of lint. Longdogger stretches his hand out, wanting in on some of the action, but he doesn't even get a glance from his partner. They go to lock up again, but Mike ducks down at the last moment and picks Knight's right leg, sending him to the mat. Mike avoids Knight left leg kicks and wrenches the leg, adding in a few kicks to the back of the knee. COLE Guerriero's done his homework gere as it was the right leg that bothered Knight after School's Out. A month of rest helps, but if someone zeros in on it, it will cramp up in a hurry. COACH Where's this analysis coming from.....wait, what's that say at the top of that page? "An Idiot's Guide to Analysis" by Caboose? COLE Hey, he's helping me out. Knight grabs on to the bottom rope forcing Mike to break which he does cleanly. Longdogger once again tries to tag in, but Knight simply glances at him and turns his attention back to his opponent. Mike goes for another leg shoot, but this time Knight catches him and backs him into the corner, alternating body shots with chops to the chest before he whips him into the opposite corner and delivers a hard clothesline. Knight backs off as Guerriero slumps in the corner and is distracted by the clapping of his partner, who is antsy to get into the match. COLE Longdogger really wants to get into this one and I don't blame him; his partner's been ignoring him the whole match. COACH Knight's got it Cole, so Pete should just be thinking about what to get his grandson for his birthday. COLE The age jokes are going to get old...... COACH Just like Longdogger Pete! COLE *Sigh* Knight sneers at LP and turns his attention back to Guerriero too late as Mike surprises him by wrapping his arms around him and driving him to the mat with a belly to back suplex followed by a pair of elbowdrops and a cover. 1...... 2......but Knight kicks out. COLE Mike with a quick flurry of offense and a near fall. Guerriero grabs Knight by the hair and tags in Vitamin X, holding him so he can get a clear shot. VX makes a fist and kisses it, juking and jiving and wasting time as his partner screams for him to hit Knight already. VX steps in....but Knight boots him in the gut, knocking him back as he grabs Guerriero by the hair and tosses him through the middle rope. VX recovers and nails Knight with a jab as he turns back. He dances around the ring and hits another right jab to Knight's jaw before doing more jukin' and jivin'. COACH VX is getting ready for the knockout punch. VX spins his fist a la Shane McMahon and charges in for the kill...... *SMACK* But gets LEVELED by a Knight clothesline. "OHHHHHHH!!!" COLE I thought Knight was the one that was supposed to get knocked out, Coach? Knight turns and, seeing Longdogger's hand outstretched once more, relents and finally tags him in. COLE And FINALLY Knight gives the newcomer a shot in this match. LP steps into the ring and immediately drags VX to his feet, backing him into the ropes and shooting him off to catch him with a Manhattan drop on the rebound followed by a clothesline to the mat. He covers. 1...... 2......but VX kicks out. LP gets back to his feet and stomps the chest of Vitamin X before backing into the ropes to get some momentum before he leaps (ok, hops) and drives his leg across the sternum. COACH The legdrop, favored move of elderly wrestlers everywhere. He covers again. 1....... 2.......but Guerriero comes in and pulls LP off by the leg to break the count. Knight comes in and grabs for Guerriero, sending both men tumbling to the floor. LP goes to pick VX up by the hair, but VX delivers a low blow to stun him. "BOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Vitamin X notices Patrick tied up with Knight and Mike and uses it to his advantage. Meanwhile, Guerriero is winning the brawl on the outside until Knight pokes him in the eye and shoves him into the post. In the ring, Vitamin X kicks Pete in the midsection and signals to the crowd. COACH He's looking for The X Spot! VX sprints towards the ropes and leaps onto the middle....but Knight hops onto the apron at the same time and nails him with a forearm, knocking VX to the mat and into Longdogger, who wraps him up and drills him into the mat with a double arm DDT. COLE The Longdogger Clogger! COACH What a stupid name for a finisher. He covers. 1...... 2...... 3!!! *DING DING* "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE And they advance to the battle royale! Longdogger thrusts his arms into the air as Knight steps back into the ring. BUFFER Lllladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match who will now advance to the Battlebowl Battle Royale......Longdogger Pete and Peterrrrr Kniiiight!!! Knight nods his head in satisfation after Buffer's announcement and allows Patrick to raise his arm. Longdogger slaps him on the shoulder and nods at him, which Knight barely recognizes as he makes for the ropes. Longdogger stops him and extends his hand, telling him "Good teaming with you", but Knight just looks at it and brushes past him, stepping out of the ring and pumping his fists in his own celebration, leaving his partner in the cold. COLE The least he could have done was shake the guy's hand. COACH Longdogger didn't cost them the match and Knight didn't have to end a career that should have ended years ago. I think that's enough for Knight. COLE Well, we've got two more entrants in our battle royale at the end of the night and we are about to find out two more. Back up to Mean Gene and Maria at the drawing room!

*Camera pans over to Mean Gene Okerlund and Maria.* OKERLUND Thank you, Michael...Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the third annual OAOAST Battlebowl! *crowd cheers* OKERLUND Joining me tonight to conduct the drawing, the lovely Maria! *crowd cheers* OKERLUND Maria, you look ravishing tonight. OK, what's gonna happen here is Maria's gonna draw a name, and then hand it over to me, and I'll read it to all of you. The first two names drawn will represent team #1, and the second two will represent team #2, and those two teams will go at it in the ring. The winning team will advance to the big battle royal at the end of the night, and the winner of the battle royal will compete for the World heavyweight championship at AngleSlam. So Maria, if you'd just draw me a name out of there... *The screen splits to show the two separate locker rooms, as Maria reaches into the bin and pulls out an envelope.* OKERLUND OK, here we go...first name drawn...THUNDERKID! *crowd pops as TK gets up and makes his way towards the ring. Colombian Heat pats him on the back on his way out the door. Maria picks out another envelope.* OKERLUND Thunderkid's partner will be...get a load of this...BROCK AUSSTIN! *crowd gives a mixed reaction, actually mostly cheers, as the former Heartland champion looks stunned at his partner, before picking up his chair and firing it across the locker room, causing the room to go silent. Everyone has wide-eyed looks as Brock exits.* COLE Brock obviously not happy with his randomly drawn partner! COACH Brock may be upset, but what a great team this will be if they can co-exist! OKERLUND Now, let's conduct the drawing for their opponents...Maria, if you would please... *Maria takes out an envelope.* OKERLUND First member of Team #2...the CUBAN WALL! *Crowd boos, as Wall gets encouragement from his fellow LC mates on his way out. Maria draws another envelope.* OKERLUND Let's see who his partner is...from the Hooligans, and the Global Party Xchange, SCOTTY STATIC! *Crowd cheers, as Scotty gets high-fives from partner Johnny and Jamie O'Hara.* COLE The GPX hearing the cheers of the crowd once again, as Scotty Static will be the partner of the Cuban Wall in this match! Cut to the arena, where TK crosses the curtains, enciting a big pop. Brock Ausstin follows, to another surprising pop. COLE And this crowd here at Madison Square Garden seems to be into Brock Ausstin, Coach! COACH Well, what's not to like about Brock Ausstin, Cole? Wall comes through the curtains to boos. Wall taunts the crowd on his way down the aisle. Scotty Static follows after, to cheers. Wall turns around and sees Scotty, then turns back around with a "WTF" look on his face. COLE And it looks like we've got four unhappy customers here at Battlebowl already! TK and Brock argue in the ring, as Wall and Scotty do the same on the floor. COLE And you'll notice no Rick Heyross in the corner of Brock Ausstin, a very special announcement coming up later in the show to explain his absence, as well as why his team of Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, Team Heyross, is not a part of this event tonight! TK breaks off conversation with Brock and climbs the top rope, leaping off and taking down Wall and Scotty with a flying bodypress on the outside! TK slugs away with Scotty Static, but Wall attacks from behind. Scotty and Wall double-team, until Brock comes out to help, hammering away on Wall. Scotty slides into the ring, and TK follows. *DING DING DING* Scotty pounces TK as he slides in, and hammers him with forearm blows. As Brock and Wall step back into their corners, Scotty picks TK up and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a flying forearm! COLE Scotty with a nice job of recovering from that move by TK on the outside! Scotty stays on TK, attempting another Irish whip. However, TK reverses, and catches Scotty off the ropes with a PRESS SLAM~! TK follows up with a clothesline! Then a second! Scotty quickly slides into his corner, as TK stops in the middle of the ring. Scotty tags in Wall. COACH And now the big Cuban Wall in there! COLE The momentum has swung quickly in this match, let's see what the Wall can get going! Wall and TK circle the ring, and tie up. Wall quickly drives a knee into the stomach, then delivers a big bodyslam! Wall stops for a minute to pose for the crowd, drawing boos, then backs into the ropes, and attempts to drop an elbow, but TK rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home on the elbow, as Wall took a little too much time! TK gets to his feet, and catches the charging Wall with an armdrag! Wall charges again, and TK catches him again, and this time holds him on the mat, standing up to drive knees into the joint. COLE And Wall faring no better than Scotty Static, as TK has it under control once again! TK brings Wall up and wrings his arm, then reaches his hand out for a tag. COLE Will there be a tag here? Brock mulls it over for a second, then slaps the hand of TK as the crowd cheers. COLE Yes, there will! Brock in there now! Brock grabs Wall and backs him into a corner, firing off rights and lefts as the crowd noise escalates with each blow! COLE And the crowd really on the side of Brock here, which is a bit befuddling to me! COACH Good thing you brought that thesaurus tonight! Brock drags Wall out of the corner, and executes a Russian legsweep! Brock floats over and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Brock picks up Wall, and walks over to TK for a tag. TK tags, and Brock delivers a backbreaker and holds him. Brock then motions angrily for TK to go to the top rope, which he reluctantly does, coming off and driving an elbow into Wall. TK covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks Wall up, but Wall is able to back him into the ropes, where he makes a blind tag to Scotty Static. Wall pushes him to the other side, then ducks down as TK hops over. Scotty slingshots himself into the ring, but TK ducks and Scotty flies over. Scotty somersaults on the mat, ala Eddie Guerrero, as Wall rolls to the opposite side of the ring. Scotty ducks a charging TK's clothesline, and as TK comes back off the ropes, Wall buries a BIG BOOT right into his head! COACH What a foot! COLE And what teamwork that time by Scotty and Wall! Scotty grabs the legs of TK and flips into a rolling cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! Scotty picks up TK, and delivers a snap suplex! He then tags in Wall, who comes in and drops a leg on TK! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Wall and Scotty continue to show good strategy, making quick tags and covers! Wall whips TK into a corner, and follows him in with an Avanalche! He holds him in the corner, and drives knees in. The referee tries to separate them, and Wall threatens him. Wall then brings TK out of the corner, and delivers a shoulderbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall tags in Scotty, who drops a knee right to the sternum! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Scotty picks TK up, and sets up a suplex, but TK executes a quick small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And TK almost stole it there! Static tags in Wall, and whips TK into a corner. Wall charges for another avalanche...but TK gets his feet up! COLE And TK buys himself a little time there! It only makes Wall stagger back, however, so he charges in for another one, but this time TK pops out, and floors Wall with a clothesline! Both men are out of it, and the referee begins a count... ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! SIX!!! SEVEN!!! EIGHT!!! Both men inch over to their corners. Static tags back in, but TK is finally able to tag Brock! COLE Tag made, and Brock is in! The crowd cheers loudly as Brock pounds Static, then takes him down with a BIG clothesline, and lets a big yell out! Static gets up, and Brock delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY! Wall is still in the ring, however, and catches Brock from behind, driving him into the mat with a CHOKESLAM~! COACH There you go, Wall! This time, there's no count, as the referee's still ushering TK out of the ring! Static hammers away on Brock, as Wall comes back in, and charges with a boot...but Brock moves, and Wall hits Scotty! COLE And Scotty takes the errant boot from his own partner! TK is able to get over and clothesline Wall from the ring! TK then comes down on Wall outside with a PLANCHA~! COLE And TK takes to the air! Meanwhile, in the ring, Static gets to his feet, only to walk right into Brock Ausstin, who drives him with the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE Brock hits it! Forget about it, we've got our first team! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* The crowd pops as Brock jerks his hand from the referee and makes his way back to the locker room. BUFFER The winners of the match, advancing to Battlebowl...the team of THUNDERKID and BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE So we've got our first two participants in the battle royal, it's Thunderkid and Brock Ausstin! Fourteen more to come, as the show goes on! Let's go back up to Mean Gene and Maria!

Golden State is also interested in Chandler, with Troy Murphy likely part of any deal. I don't think the Bulls need to make a trade for KG at this point, especially if they do the deal with the Hornets. As mentioned, Brown frees up a lot of money next summer, and with LeBron having yet to accept an extension and the Bulls probably getting at worst a top 4 pick from the Knicks, the possibilities are downright scary.

BTW, I'm getting ready to go out, and I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. I'm still going to post the show, though, but it might be late at night. Just a warning.

No. You can still use managers if you want.

Przybilla had knee problems most of last season, too, though. That's the only problem I'd have with signing him. Of course, the risk isn't any higher than, say, anyone on the Pacers.