alfdogg

[i]Oh No[/i] by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoahe Monche hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Todd Cortez comes through the curtains. COLE Todd Cortez, with another shot at Alfdogg, this time for the United States title! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following no-disqualification contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger...hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, and weighing in at 226 pounds...representing Cucaracha Internacional...he is the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!![/i] Cortez slides into the ring and waits patiently, as [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtain, wearing the United States title belt around his waist. BUFFER [i]His opponent...weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST United States champion...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!![/i] COLE And of course, at November Reign, Todd Cortez able to eliminate Alfdogg from their elimination match, getting a pinfall after the Riot Act Plus! He fought valiantly, but Sandman9000 was the survivor of that match, thanks to Alf! Alf steps into the ring and removes his belt, raising it into the main camera, to the boos of the crowd. He then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf meets Cortez in mid-ring, talking trash to him, then the two begin to exchange blows. COLE And a slugfest developing from the start! Cortez begins to get the better of the exchange, but Alf delivers a foot to the gut. Alf then drags Cortez into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf sets up an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses, then follows Alf, who slings himself into the air, but Cortez stops and Alf lands right in front of him, and gets floored with a clothesline! COLE Nice presence of mind by Cortez, stopping himself and catching Alf with that clothesline! Cortez covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez stomps Alf, who rolls out of the ring. Cortez follows, and rams Alf's face into the apron! COLE And now Cortez taking it to the outside! Alf tries to get away from Cortez, who comes from behind and shoves him into the post! Cortez grabs Alf by the foot, as Alf goes under the ring, and drags a chair with him as Cortez drags Alf back. Alf gets to his knees, then jams Cortez in the gut with the chair! COACH Alf got a hold of a chair, and now using it to his advantage! Cortez doubles over, and Alf gets to his feet, then brings it down across his back! COLE And Alf is right in his element right now! Alf rolls Cortez back inside, and follows him in, bringing the chair down on his back again! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf tosses Cortez to the outside, and follows him, hammering away on him on the guardrail, then delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then backs up, and charges Cortez...but Cortez ducks, and backdrops him into the crowd! COLE And they're into the stands here in Kansas City! Cortez delivers right hands to Alf, who tries to get away. As security guards tries to keep the fans back, Alf pulls one in the way, then reaches over him and lands a cheap shot on Cortez! COACH Alf using everything to his advantage! Alf delivers a kick to the gut, then sets up a suplex. COLE And Alf setting up a suplex on the floor! Cortez blocks, then blocks again, and delivers a suplex of his own! COACH Oh, no! COLE But Cortez counters to one of his own! Alf holds his back, then starts to crawl away, with Cortez in pursuit. Alf then gets to his feet, and walks through a curtain into the backstage area, and Cortez follows. Cortez catches up to Alf, and tosses him onto a table with various deli trays/coffee/etc. Cortez then makes his way to a broom closet, and opens it up, to find... [b]RICKY CALDWELL???[/b] [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v197/alfdogg/garbageday.jpg] [color=blue][b][size=7]GARBAGE DAY!!![/color][/b][/size] ...just kidding. in reality, Thunderkid is inside, and busts a mop handle over Cortez's head! COLE HEY! This was a setup! TK stomps away on Cortez, and Reject comes into the picture shortly after, stomping away, as well. COACH The tag team champions to the rescue! I love it! And there's no DQ's, Cole! Alf slowly gets off the table, then drags it out away from the wall. After he does, TK and Reject lift Cortez up in a double team spinebuster, DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE~! COLE And Todd Cortez put through the table! Alf then calls down the hall, and Sandman can be seen walking some sort of animal. COLE It's Sandman9000, but what does he have with him? COACH What is that, some kind of animal...is that a PORCUPINE? Indeed, it is a porcupine, as Sandman walks it onto the scene. COLE I've never seen a porcupine that big! COACH What are they doing with it here, though? COLE I can only shudder to think. Sandman, holding the leash with his right hand, lifts the porcupine and strokes it with his hand a couple times...then TOSSES IT DOWN ONTO THE KNEE OF CORTEZ!!! COLE NO! The porcupine begins going crazy, leaving several of its huge quills embedded into the right knee of Todd Cortez! After a few seconds of this, Sandman pulls the porcupine off, as it hisses at the fallen Cortez, screaming in agony. COACH Wow...I've never seen anything like this, Cole. COLE I mean, who knows...those things could be poisonous! EMTs and backstage officials pour backstage to back the DA off and tend to Cortez, as Sandman moves the porcupine towards some of the EMTs, then pulls it back quickly, much to his amusement. COLE And this obviously a setup by Alf and the Deadly Alliance...this is just heinous. COACH Well, Cortez agreed to make this a no-DQ match, and Alf said, you better think about it before giving the DA a license to do whatever they want! COLE But I don't think he had in mind the possibility of being attacked by a rabid animal! EMTs quickly lift Cortez onto a cot in the back of an ambulence, and get inside, then depart the arena. COLE Well folks...hopefully we'll get an update on the condition of Todd Cortez as soon as possible, but who knows what could be in his future after what we just saw.

Sack. Game over. From 3-4 to 11-4, and the Colts are in. You know what this calls for.

Fuck you, Dominic Rhodes.

[i]The Wall[/i] by Kansas plays, and Alfdogg walks out, followed by the rest of the Deadly Alliance. COLE And here comes the Deadly Alliance, obviously with some things to say! And considering what happened to Tha Puerto Rican last week, I'd say they do in fact have some explaining to do! COACH Oh man, last week was one of the greatest experiences of my life! COLE You finally got to see a woman naked? COACH No! Because Tha Puerto Rican is gone at last, thanks to the Deadly Alliance's newest member, Mr. Dick! COLE Well, hang in there, sport, your day will come eventually. Melissa Nerdly walks around to the timekeepers' table and grabs a microphone, then steps into the ring. MELISSA Melissa Nerdly here! And I'm conducting an interview with the hottest stable in the OAOAST...no, make that in the HISTORY of WRESTLING...the Deadly Alliance! *crowd boos* MELISSA Which includes the World tag team champions, Thunderkid and Reject! *crowd boos* Melissa walks up and puts her arm around Reject, who responds in kind. MELISSA Hey babe. The Anderson Cup's coming up. What do you guys think? REJECT Ah yes, the Anderson Cup. 16 of the finest teams the OAOAST has to offer, competing in a tournament in which the "prize" is a shot at me and Thunderkid. TK "To the victor goes the spoils?" I don't think this is what they had in mind. REJECT Not that it matters, since we've already mowed down all the teams in this baby...except for one team which just so happens to be representing our stable, and are just in it for the trophy! COLE Reject of course referring to Mr. Dick and Malaysia. REJECT (arm around Melissa) Say, you two wouldn't have a problem..."sharing" the trophy with us on occasion? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (You can stick Mr. Dick's part right here if you want, Tony) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MELISSA Now then, Alf...let's talk about this PRL thing a little further. ALF Absolutely. You know, a lot of people may not believe this, but I happen to think that when it was all said and done, PRL was a tremendous fighting champion. As much as I hate to admit it, he did manage some victories over yours truly, so he must have been doing something right! *crowd boos* ALF And I did give him his props after the Halloween Spectacular, when he scored his first LEGIT victory over me. He gained a lot of respect from me that night...but in the weeks that followed, a remarkable thing happened to this man. You know, Melissa, I know as well as anyone that the drive for the belt can do strange things to a man. And just to watch PRL go out there and disrespect, and degrade Leon Rodez...not like you can grade him much lower, but that's beside the point! Melissa laughs. ALF My point is, that after all these months of PRL running with this facade...PRL became the very non-believer that he made a career out of proving wrong. *crowd boos* ALF When I saw him doing these interview bits with Leon, running him down...it was like a flashback to about nine months ago, when PRL was standing on the other side fuming, and Popick was holding that mic! And we all know how that turned out...Popick hasn't been heard from since. COLE Thank God. ALF So, I thought it was only fair that PRL met the same fate. And what a better way to initiate our newest member, than to bestow this honor upon him? ...the Conquistador stuff was kind of weird, but Mr. Dick did the Deadly Alliance proud! *crowd boos* MELISSA Now, let's talk about tonight, you defend your United States title in a no-DQ match against Todd Cortez. You know, he got that flukey pin on you at November Reign, so I guess that makes him worthy of a title shot or something. ALF You know, I just laughed when I heard that Cortez asked for the no-DQ stipulation. Cortez, you better think it through before you tell the Deadly Alliance "no disqualification." You see, we're here in Kansas City! *crowd cheers* ALF And all you have to do is ask Joe Montana...this is where careers come to die. *crowd boos* ALF And you just might find that out the hard way tonight. [i]The Wall[/i] plays, as the DA departs. COLE It should be an exciting match tonight, US title on the line, Alfdogg vs Todd Cortez! Let's go to...

Actually, it's the other way around. Phoenix has beat Portland 11 in a row, including twice this season.

Nene dunks on Yao

OAOAST United States title Alfdogg © vs Todd Cortez

Why would the Knicks just casually throw it in bounds right there for a 3/4 court shot? Seems to me you'd do just as well to try a somewhat risky pass into the frontcourt to get off an actual 3-pointer.

When I was four, I tried to dive off the top of my slide into a bucket, because I saw Fred Flintstone do it. I got my coat string caught in the slide, and my mom saw me hanging on it outside.

Pacers bounce back in Washington, 118-98, as Granger and Daniels both flirt with triple-doubles. Only one opponent over .500 the next two weeks. Time to turn this ship around.

Woody Woodpecker

Sun, Dec. 7 Detroit @ New York, 12:00 Portland @ Toronto, 1:00 NBATV Boston @ Indiana, 6:00 Milwaukee @ LA Lakers, 9:30 Mon, Dec. 8 Charlotte @ Miami, 7:30 Houston @ Memphis, 8:00 NBATV Golden State @ Oklahoma City, 8:00 Orlando @ LA Clippers, 10:30 Tue, Dec. 9 Toronto @ Cleveland, 7:00 NBATV Detroit @ Washington, 7:00 Utah @ Minnesota, 8:00 New York @ Chicago, 8:30 San Antonio @ Dallas, 8:30 Atlanta @ Houston, 8:30 Milwaukee @ Phoenix, 9:00 Orlando @ Portland, 10:00 LA Lakers @ Sacramento, 10:00 Wed, Dec. 10 Indiana @ Toronto, 7:00 New York @ New Jersey, 7:30 Charlotte @ New Orleans, 8:00 Memphis @ Oklahoma City, 8:00 Cleveland @ Philadelphia, 8:00 ESPN Atlanta @ San Antonio, 8:30 Minnesota @ Denver, 9:00 Milwaukee @ Golden State, 10:30 Phoenix @ LA Lakers, 10:30 ESPN Thu, Dec. 11 Boston @ Washington, 8:00 TNT Charlotte @ Dallas, 8:30 Portland @ Utah, 10:30 TNT Fri, Dec. 12 Philadelphia @ Cleveland, 7:30 Atlanta @ Miami, 7:30 Toronto @ New Jersey, 7:30 New Orleans @ Boston, 8:00 ESPN Indiana @ Detroit, 8:00 Chicago @ Memphis, 8:00 San Antonio @ Minnesota, 8:00 Orlando @ Phoenix, 9:00 LA Clippers @ Portland, 10:00 Houston @ Golden State, 10:30 ESPN Sacramento @ LA Lakers, 10:30 Sat, Dec. 13 Cleveland @ Atlanta, 7:00 Detroit @ Charlotte, 7:00 Washington @ Philadelphia, 7:30 New Jersey @ Chicago, 8:30 Oklahoma City @ Dallas, 8:30 Indiana @ Milwaukee, 8:30 Golden State @ Denver, 9:00 Orlando @ Utah, 9:00 New York @ Sacramento, 10:00 NBATV Houston @ LA Clippers, 10:30

He's still around. I've seen him in the college football threads recently.

I thought we weren't doing the Worst Poster tournament until March?

SPOILER: Milky wins.

The Pacers come back from 21 down to take a one-point lead with under four minutes, then give up 19 points in a row to end the game. This fucking team.

Since he's available now:

And yet another brilliant night by Danny Granger wasted.

My stuff is also in.

So, Kendrick Perkins just grabbed Chris Paul in a front facelock, and PAUL gets called for the foul. lol, NBA

Leave me room wherever you can for a couple brief DA segments, as well, one before Ed's promo and one after.

Presumably Wallace goes back to being the go-to guy for the Bobcats for the time being. I'm not really sure what they're doing either, but I guess they're more suited to Brown's coaching style now. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who pushed for the trade.

Oh for fuck's sake.

Haha, Bob Lamey does that all the time on Colts radio. "The kick is up, looks good, it is, and the score now the Browns nine, the Co...NO WAIT, HE MISSED IT!"

David Harrison, former Indiana Pacer