As we return to the Monday spectacular that is Battlebowl, the crowd are still on their feet, despite the draining night of top-class OAOAST action yadda yadda yadda.
COLE
Well, after eight of the most interesting matches we've seen in the OAOAST for some time, tonight has come down to this. Sixteen men remain in contention for the World Title shot, guaranteed, at AngleSlam. We've had some shocks. Some surprises. But the best is yet to come Coach.
COACH
Oh, totally.
COLE
...it's just a shame Caboose isn't here, rather than competing tonight. It's only when he's gone that you miss him.
COACH
Oh, totally.
COLE
With all due respect 'Boose, hopefully you can get dumped out early and join us on commentary again.
COACH
Oh, tota...no, wait, scratch that.
Suddenly, "LaLa" by Ashlee Simpson hits...and here come the sixteen! JINGUS. Synth Esizer. Chris Stevens. Brock Ausstin. Puerto Rican Lightning. Leon Rodez. Gunner Sharps. Scotty Static. Drek Stone. Alfdogg. Peter Knight. Caboose. Dan Black. CWM. Zack Malibu. And Hoff, looking distinctly pissed at the choice of music.
COLE
We must be running low on time. A single entrance for all sixteen entrants here.
COACH
And just look at the ring fill up with that mass of humanity.
The sixteen begin to bundle into the ring one by one, each taking up their own positions. The crowd's reactions eems to change every few seconds as the field of wrestlers strolls past.
COLE
Well, who are you going for Coach?
COACH
Uhm...I'll go for Gunner. He's real big.
COLE
No shit.
COACH
Huh?
COLE
Nothing, nothing. My money's on Caboose by the way. If I pick anyone else, he'll hit me with his cricket bat again. Not that he won't if I DO choose him...but, still.
With all 16 men entered, the ring has filled completely up. Gunner, Drek and Scotty Static have all grouped in one corner of the ring. Caboose is currently in discussion with Zack, pointing over to that corner, with CWM and Dan Black are also looking over to the same area. Meanwhile, Peter Knight is busy yelling threats at Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens. Alf and PRL are also in heated discussion. Rodez, Synth, Hoff and JINGUS are all keeping themselves to themselves as everyone in the ring waits impatiently for the bell to ring.
*DING DING DING!*
COACH
BUNDLLLEEE!!
Straight on the bell, PRL and Alfdogg begin to tear into each other in the centre of the ring. Chaos ensues around them meanwhile as Zack, Caboose, Dan Black, CWM and Hoff all launch across the ring and target the biggest man in the battle royal, Gunner Sharps! Luckily for Gunner, he has Drek and Scotty Static to help fend the five off. And Chris Stevens moments later, having weaseled away from Peter Knight (who JINGUS is now brawling with) and ambushed Hoff from behind. Brock Ausstin soon wades in and it's almost 5 on 5 in one corner. Meanwhile, it's still Knight and JINGUS duking it out, Alf and PRL scrapping on the mat in the centre of the ring, leaving Leon Rodez and Synth Esizer to go at it across the ring.
COLE
Just as we suspected, we've got gang warfare breaking out in the ring. We've pretty much got the youngsters against the oldsters in one corner, while everyone else is concentrating on each other.
COACH
And it looks like the youngsters are getting the better of it!
Having gained his bearings, Gunner is now wading into every veteran he's in reach of. Down goes Zack. Closely followed by CWM. Gunner finally gets out of the corner and lays out Hoff with a clothesline from behind, before he can get to the begging off Chris Stevens. Drek, Static and the CSI duo can now just stand back and watch, as Gunner quickly pulls Dan Black in from arms length, smashing him with a short-arm clothesline! And Caboose is next, a short-arm clothesline for him too. The three brawls across the ring continue unaffected, as Drek picks CWM slowly off the canvas. CSI are dealing with the rest now, as Drek irish whips CWM, right into a goozle from Gunner...
*WHAM!*
...and a THUNDEROUS Chokeslam!! CWM convulses on the canvas, as Scotty Static has Zack ready and waiting to be to fed the giant...with a goozle...
*WHAM!*
...and a Chokeslam for Zack too! CSI, Drek, Static, Gunner...all left standing. But suddenly, they get hit by another wave of wrestlers! Alf and PRL have stopped brawling, with PRL going after Chris Stevens while Alf has finally got his hands on Scotty Static!
COLE
I think everyone in this match has realised where the real danger is...and here come some more re-enforcements!!
As the numbers engulf Alf and PRL, Leon Rodez and Synth Esizer stop brawling too and go after Drek and Brock respectively. Across the ring meanwhile, JINGUS has just hurled Peter Knight over the top rope. Knight has held on, but JINGUS could care less...as now, his sights are set on Gunner Sharps!!
"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
COACH
Woah boy...there the beef Cole, there the beef!!
COLE
What a face-off! JINGUS and Gunner Sharps! And this crowd are buzzing here!
Despite the (unfamiliar) size difference, JINGUS doesn't back down a step from Gunner. Peter Knight glances at the face-off and wisely slides stealthly past, instead going after Chris Stevens...who sees Knight coming, diving out of the ring through the middle rope. The fans that notice boo Stevens, as Knight settles for battling with Brock. JINGUS and Gunner are still eyeing each other up, waiting for the other to make the first move. Neither seems to want to and the stand-off continues, for what seems like minutes...
...as around them, the oldies are getting to their feet! Getting to their feet are Zack, CWM, as well as Caboose and Dan Black. The four uneasily gather as a group, putting aside their hatred for the moment and bundling into Gunner and JINGUS!
A few of the fans sigh or boo, having looked forward to the JINGUS/Gunner battle. A battle they won't get just yet, as CWM and Black attack Gunner while Caboose and Zack go after JINGUS. Eventually, Caboose sees CWM and Black struggling, so goes to help the two...regardless of personal feelings. All the others in the match are busy with their own battles, which leave the uneasy trio free reign to beat down Gunner. And Zack free reign to do battle with JINGUS, rocking him back towards the ropes with forearm after forearm. The blows aren't having much effect on the downright scary member of Hell's Hitmen, but Zack sticks with it. JINGUS suddenly finds himself backed against the ropes and desperatly pushes out, sending Zack back a few steps. Zack is still coming with the forearms though. So JINGUS pushes Zack back again, charging out and looking to take his head off with a clothesline. Zack ducks though, scampering over and grabbing the top rope. By now, JINGUS is stuck in tunnel vision mode, completely ignoring Alfdogg who is suddenly facing him and charging at Zack again...
...but Zack pulls the ropes down, lowbridging JINGUS and causing the bigman to topple over the top and to the floor!!
"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
BUFFER
JINGUS has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JINGUS
LEFT: 1st
ELIMINATED: Nobody
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu
LEFT IN RING: 15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLE
The first elimination of Battlebowl goes to Zack Malibu! And that's a big threat taken out of this field of...well, now, field of fifteen.
COACH
Well, JINGUS is big...but he proved he wasn't too smart.
Zack doesn't take a second glance at the vanquished Hell's Hitman, immediately bypassing his partner of earlier and going right after Scotty Static. Meanwhile, there's commotion on the outside, as Hoff has sneakily rolled out of the ring and is now advancing on Chris Stevens. Stevens doesn't know it yet. But the reaction of the crowd let him know something is up, causing him to turn around...and fall prey to a FLURRY from Hoff! The fans go wild as Hoff tees off on Stevens, who looks for the nearest getaway, but finds nothing but Hoff's fist each time.
Back in the ring, the other 13 competitors left are still as they were. Alf and Zack are now taking turns over laying into Scotty Static. Gunner is still being triple teamed by the CWM/Dan Black/Caboose combination. Peter Knight and Leon Rodez are trying to lift out a defiant Brock Ausstin. Meanwhile, PRL is laying the smackdown on Synth Esizer. Drek Stone is about the only person in the battle royal not doing anything at the moment. But that soon changes, as Caboose peels away from Gunner and starts to pound away on a totally unprepared Drek!
*KE-RRAAAAASSSSSHH!!*
With all that playing backdrop to Hoff/Stevens on the floor, with Hoff dislodging the steel steps courtesy of a hard irish whip from Stevens.
COLE
We've got brawls in the ring, brawls on the floor...this is almost impossible to call here!
COACH
Maybe Caboose'll help when he gets thrown out.
COLE
Maybe. But Caboose could end up going all the way here, Coach.
COACH
...
COLE & COACH
BWA-HAHA-HAHAAA!!!
Stevens pounces on Hoff and puts the boots to him. As back in the ring, Caboose is pounding Drek in the corner. Scotty Static is fairing about as well as his newfound buddy, still getting overwhelmed by the equally retribution seeking Zack and Alf. In the centre of the ring meanwhile, CWM and Dan Black are facing a bigger battle with Gunner Sharps. Gunner is taking, seemingly, the best shots of both men and is still standing. So now, CWM and Black link arms and hit the ropes, nailing Gunner with a double clothesline. Gunner stays up on his feet though. Looking at each other and nodding, CWM and Black try again, hitting another double clothesline...but again, Gunner staggers back a step and no more. Black quickly glances around looking for some extra help. But his momentary distraction allows Gunner to goozle Black!
COLE
Uh-oh...Black's caught.
Sensing trouble, CWM rushes over and starts to pepper Gunner with right hands. Leon Rodez has also seen in, letting Knight and Brock go at it, jumping on Gunner's back and trying to lock on a sleeper.
COLE
Gunner's still fighting! He's fighting off three guys...pawing at CWM, trying to shake off Rodez, still choking Black.
COACH
It's like watching The Borrowers or something. People just hanging off of Gunner.
Gunner eventually shrugs off Rodez, who falls to the mat. About the same time, CWM goes tumbling backwards from a big club from the bigman. Leaving Black to get Chokeslamme...NO! Black goes low on Gunner and saves himself. As CWM pulls himself up, Black punts Gunner in the nether regions again for good measure, before dropping to one knee. CWM suddenly rushes forward, getting a leg-up from Black, which allows him to snare Gunner and DROP him with a Pollycutter!!
"YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"
COLE
Assisted Pollycutter on Gunner! Amazing!
Getting back to their feet, CWM and Black high-five. Rodez also seems happy for the two and with a smile, high-fives first CWM and then Black. Before turning back to CWM...
...POLLYCUTTER TO RODEZ!!
"...BOOOOOOOOO!!"
COACH
I tell ya what Mickey, if Dan Black and CWM can keep this up, they've got the strength in numbers here. They're working well as a team. And they could pretty much dump everyone else out together.
COLE
True. Only they and Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens really have the true team edge in this battle royal.
COACH
Which is doing neither any good while Stevens is out on the floor.
CWM and Black again exchange a high-five, before looking around for another victim. As they do, Chris Stevens is finally dumped in the ring by Hoff. And quickly, he becomes the next victim, CWM hitting the quick boot to the gut and Black following up instantaniously with the BlackOut! Hoff soon follows in, but CWM is waiting with a clothesline. Seeing it coming, Hoff quickly ducks and prepares one of his own...but is cut off by Dan Black. Another mixed reaction greets CWM and Black for their equal opportunity ass-kickings. The two quickly re-group and again search the ring, finding a target finally in Drek Stone...
...at least, until they detour, nailing Caboose in the back of the head with a double clothesline...
...THAT SENDS CABOOSE CRASHING OUT OF THE BATTLE ROYAL!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
COLE
Aw, they blindsighted him!
BUFFER
CABOOSE has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CABOOSE
LEFT: 2nd
ELIMINATED: Nobody
ELIMINATED BY: CWM, Dan Black
LEFT IN RING: 14
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking up, Caboose is stunned to be gone. And even more stunned that it was CWM and Dan Black who were responsible. Zack and Alf have seen this and suddenly leave Scotty Static be to confront them.
COLE
It all looked so promising earlier. But the old guard are falling apart again. They just can't get on. And now, we've got Zack and Alf, CWM and Dan Black...who, if they could just get on the same page, could deal with the ungrateful upstarts like Static and Stone.
COACH
Never gonna happen. There's just too much bad blood.
The two duos go face to face, with Zack and Black exchanging heated words, Alf and CWM just staring each other down. The chaotic brawling on the other side of the ring is in stark contract, as there's nothing but tension where the four stand. Zack seems to be gesturing that CWM and Black should have helped Caboose instead of dumping him out. Black, seemingly, doesn't agree. But before they have chance to resolve their differences, Drek and Static have grouped behind Zack and Alfdogg, charging and wiping them out. Drek and Static continue the attack, putting in the boots, as CWM and Black just watch on and symbolically refuse to help. Suddenly though, Gunner Sharps is back up and charges through them with a double clothesline.
COLE
And there it is again. Just when things are looking up, the dissention allows these upstart punks to cheapshot everyone. This pettyness, this refusal to co-operate...it isn't helping anyone, except guys like Drek and guys like Gunner Sharps.
Gunner, Scotty and Drek are left standing over the four veterans, with Scotty and Drek putting the boots to the four. Meanwhile, Gunner has turned away, stepping over the bodies of Hoff, Rodez and Stevens to get to the remaining three men in the battle royal. Knight and Brock are still getting into it. So Gunner leaves them, instead plucking PRL off of Synth Esizer...like, literally...locking in a full nelson and just SPIKING him with a full nelson slam! PRL rolls around in agony, while Gunner nails Synth with a boot. Reaching down, Gunner then scoops up Synth and hovers over the ropes, PRESSING Synth over his head and PRESSING HIM TO THE FLOOR!
"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Synth hits HARD and nervous referees rush over to check on his condition, as Gunner looks down with a smirk. Just another step on the road to AngleSlam.
BUFFER
SYNTH ESIZER has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SYNTH ESIZER
LEFT: 3rd
ELIMINATED: Nobody
ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps
LEFT IN RING: 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The smirk remains on the face of Gunner as he turns around, in search of another potential elimination. But all he finds is Hoff, back up, SPEARING him down and EXPLODING with a barrage of right hands!!
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
LOOK AT HOFF GO!!
COACH
And look out here! Zack's in trouble Cole!
Across the ring, Drek and Static has Zack Malibu up and are trying to dispatch him from the battle royal. Zack is holding on and that, along with Hoff's sudden burst of energy, has brought the crowd to their feet. The struggle goes on as Zack is in desperate need on help. But Alfdogg is still down. CWM is up. So is Dan Black. But they blatantly disregard Zack and instead drag Alfdogg over to the corner to put the boots to him! Hoff doesn't see Zack on his way out. Neither does Peter Knight, busy beating the hell out of Brock. Or the still hurting PRL. Infact, it seems Zack is helpless...
...helpless...
...except for Leon Rodez, pulling Scotty Static off of Zack and levelling him with a right hand! Drek then gets pulled and nailed too, before Rodez goes back after Static. Which allows Zack to re-enter the ring and hover over Drek.
COLE
Here we go...
COACH
Aw, this is what we've been waiting for for so long Mickey! Zack and Drek!
COLE
And we're finally going to get it...NO!
Suddenly, CWM breaks away from his stomping and runs through Zack with a clothesline before he can even get a fingertip on Drek. CWM now goes after Zack...
...as across the ring, Brock Ausstin has burst into life and has Peter Knight up on his shoulders!!
COLE
F-STUNNER-5...
...NO! Knight escapes, landing on his feet behind Brock! Stumbling forward, Brock wonders what the hell just happened, lumbering around in search of Knight...and getting nailed with a big boot! But as soon as Knight stumbles through finding his feet, Chris Stevens emerges from his 'hiding' and levels Knight with a Superkick! Down goes Knight, as Stevens frantically tries to wake Brock Ausstin back up. As he does, Drek Stone wanders over...but he leaves Stevens alone, his target being Hoff, who is desperately trying to get Gunner in a position to dump him out. Brock is recovering by now meanwhile, Knight too. Stevens is stuck between the two, urging Brock to hurry up. But it's Knight to his feet first...
...GETS NAILED FROM BEHIND BY PRL!!
"BOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Blindsighted, Knight stumbles forwards. Stevens goes low and wheels Knight up against the ropes, lifting a leg as Brock quickly bundles over and starts to push the upper half of Knight's body over the top! Knight is teetering, Brock's massive force and the added help of Chris Stevens uniting to keep Peter in serious trouble.
"LET'S GO PE - TER!"
"LET'S GO PE - TER!"
"LET'S GO PE - TER!"
The fans are behind Knight. But even their voice is not enough to counter-act Brock and Stevens, Knight getting pushed ever closer to elimination, over...
...over...
...over...
...AND GONE!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
BUFFER
PETER KNIGHT has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PETER KNIGHT
LEFT: 4th
ELIMINATED: Nobody
ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin, Chris Stevens
LEFT IN RING: 12
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boos rain down on the CSI duo, as Knight begins to pull himself up almost immediately. Stevens turns to Knight, pointing the finger at him and laughing away at Knight's failure.
Until he sees Brock Ausstin FLYING past him, over the top, to the floor!!
"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"
BUFFER
BROCK AUSSTIN has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BROCK AUSSTIN
LEFT: 5th
ELIMINATED: Peter Knight
ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps
LEFT IN RING: 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stevens, in shock, turns around...and gets even more of a shock, as he sees Gunner Sharps was responsible for his team-mate elimination. Instantly Stevens starts to beg off, unable to escape to the floor because Peter Knight is still being convinced to leave. So Stevens takes the smart option, scuttling away on hands and knees to escape. Gunner turns to follow him but suddenly, Leon Rodez rushes over and tries to shock Gunner with a single leg to trip him over...
...and Gunner's height means that he looks close to going...
...for little more than a few seconds, before he reaches down and CLUBS Rodez between the shoulder blades! Another shot finally subdues Rodez, long enough for Gunner to grab an arm and hiptoss Rodez over the top...
....BUT RODEZ HANGS ON DESPERATELY! Grabbing the top rope, Rodez manages to save himself and quickly scrambles up to the top rope. Gunner is meanwhile busy running through PRL with a boot, then Hoff with a clothesline...before finally Drek Stone points out Rodez atop the ropes. Gunner lumbers around, just as Rodez launches off the top rope with a crossbody. Thinking quickly, Gunner is able to duck...but Drek, following in behind, isn't so lucky and gets wiped out by the Silky Smooth One! Gunner turns around quickly, but is met by Hoff and tackled into the corner. Hoff wastes no time in grabbing a leg, trying to lift out the bigman...and quick as a flash, Rodez rushes over and helps him out.
COLE
They're going after Gunner here!
COACH
They need more help though. They need more numbers, because just Hoff and just Rodez ain't gonna cut it!
Indeed, the monstrous Gunner is too much for just Hoff and Rodez to cope with and he soon pushes both away. Hoff tries charging again, but Gunner sends him away with a headbutt! Trying to follow up, Rodez ends up getting snatched at the side and planted with a sidewalk slam, leaving him writhing in agony. Just what Scotty Static wanted, as he gives a sign of peace to Gunner, while Rodez rolls out of harm's way.
Chris Stevens is still trying to keep away from the action meanwhile, as still the battle between CWM/Black and Alf/Zack continues on the otherside of the ring. The four seem far more concerned with beating the snot out of each other than actually trying to eliminate one another however. Hoff has now staggered over to where the fight is going on. Drek Stone is also staggering over now, avoiding Hoff...and instead, creeping up behind Alfdogg...
...AND TOSSING HIM OVER THE TOP!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
COLE
What the...
COACH
Drek got Alf! From out of nowhere!!
COLE
And Alf didn't see it coming!! What a sneaky elimination from Drek Stone!
BUFFER
ALFDOGG has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALFDOGG
LEFT: 6th
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone
LEFT IN RING: 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLE
And we are down to the final 10, Coach.
COACH
We sure are...and look at this. It looks we're getting a battle-line drawn!
Drek stumbles frantically away from the side of the ring he just vanquished Alfdogg from and over to safe territory with Gunner, Static and Chris Stevens. Static tries to go after Rodez but is held back from Drek, who calls the three together.
COLE
This doesn't look good here. It looks like Drek is trying to get Scotty Static, Chris Stevens and Gunner Sharps on his side.
But across the ring, CWM and Dan Black are together. Hoff and Zack are pulling themselves up and suddenly, they too are together. With a glance across, CWM and Black see Hoff and Zack and there's clearly no love lost. But almost in unison, the four look back at the four men grouped on the opposite side of the ring. And, without words, without gestures, they seem to call a truce!
"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
Could it be? COULD IT BE!?!
COACH
It's four on four Mickey!
COLE
Are the old guard finally putting their differences aside? They're going to have to! And it looks like Hoff is convincing Zack, convincing CWM, convincing Dan Black...convincing them to stick together.
The crowd are BUZZING as it's a four on four face-off. Drek, Gunner, Static and Stevens versus Hoff, Zack, CWM and Black...with PRL and Leon Rodez just now getting to their feet in the centre of the ring! The two stop and look from left to right, finding themselves in potential crossfire between young and old (or, old + Hoff). And all of a sudden, it seems that Drek Stone is trying to call Rodez over to them. PRL is wondering what the hell is going on too, as is Rodez. Both sides are now calling over to Rodez and to PRL, gesturing frantically, trying to call them up to join their makeshift squads. PRL looks tempted on both sides, anything to get a numbers edge, anything to get closer to the World Title shot. On the other-hand, Rodez looks distinctly un-tempted by both sides. So now, it's a question of 'Who will PRL side with'.
A question that will get no answers, as suddenly PRL sprints at Leon Rodez...
...AND GETS BACKDROPPED RIGHT THE WAY OUT OF BATTLEBOWL~!
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
BUFFER
PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRL
LEFT: 7th
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez
LEFT IN RING: 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Furious, PRL starts to BUG OUT~ on the floor, as Rodez smirks and waves him bye-bye watching on as the assembled referees have to physically stop PRL from re-entering the ring and going after The Silky Smooth One. But Rodez is soon confronted again by the gang-war brewing on either side of him. Drek is furiously gesturing for Rodez to join his fellow youngsters. Meanwhile, Hoff is trying to counter-act and call Rodez over to his side. Not knowing what to do, Rodez turns to the crowd and asks for their suggestion...to a noisy, but undistinguishable answer.
COLE
Hmm...I don't think that'll help Rodez decide.
COACH
No kidding. That was just noise.
Rodez still looks confused. And eventually, as the two sides continue to hassle Rodez into joining their ranks, The Silky Smooth One says 'to hell with this' and slides out of the ring!
"YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"
Nobody in the ring approves of that move. Not least Drek Stone, who breaks from his troops to start yelling at Rodez. But suddenly, Drek suddenly goes flying off his feet, tackled to the ground by Hoff...TRIGGERING OFF A BUNDLE IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!!
"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
THE WAR HAS BEGUN!
Hoff and Drek exchange right hands on the mat, while around them it's Zack and Static, CWM and Stevens, Black and Gunner! Now the teams have started to do battle, Rodez rolls back into the ring and quickly jumps in to help Black in his fight with the big Gunner. In amongst the brawling, Scotty Static gets sent into the ropes by Zack and PRESSED upwards, before crashing back down to earth, Flapjack style! Zack then fires up the crowd, but Chris Stevens jumps him from behind, only for CWM to in turn jump Stevens. Meanwhile, Drek and Hoff continue to do battle on the canvas, just exchanging heated blow after heated blow.
COLE
One of these nine is going on to AngleSlam...from thirty two, we are down to just nine. And you'd have to give the edge to Drek, or Gunner, or Static...three men who seem to have formulated a gameplan, as a team. But right now, none of them are doing all that well for themselves.
COACH
And neither is Chris Stevens!
Grabbing a leg, Malibu has Stevens teetering over the top now. Across the ring, Scotty Static is getting back up and catches Rodez on the blindside with a dropkick. Rodez tumbles across the ring, ending up underneath the bottom rope. But Static forgets all about Rodez and instead goes after Dan Black. Back over in the corner meanwhile, Zack has both of Stevens' legs off the canvas and has CSI's leader frantically wailing for help. Luckily for Stevens, CWM is back up and rather than help Zack, he instead lifts up HIS legs and starts to try and tip him out!
COLE
Wai...CWM, trying to get Zack out now! And THIS is why Drek and co have the advantage in this match! Nobody else can get along long enough to band against them!
With Zack being elevated, Stevens is gradually closer and closer to being tipped out as well...CWM on the verge of a double elimination. Zack tries to kick CWM off, trying to yell at him to think about what he's doing at the same time. But CWM continues to lift Zack anyway...
...causing Stevens to fall over the top...
...but Stevens hangs onto the top rope, dangling precariously for a moment before levering himself back into the ring. Relieved to still be alive in the battle royal, Stevens seems a little lost momentarily. Black and Static are still going at it. Gunner has now stepped over to help Drek and now they are double teaming Hoff, momentarily, before Leon Rodez again goes after the bigman. So Stevens leaves them all to their own battles and stumbles back over to HELP CWM!
COACH
Look at this...Stevens has crossed the battle-lines!
COLE
Well, these battle royals make for strange-bedfellows. And let's face it, Chris Stevens has no real beef with CWM or any real alliance with Static or Drek or Gu...
COACH
TRAITOR! TURNCOAT! DEFECTOR!
COLE
Did Caboose leave already? Can we get him back out here?
CWM glances over, realising for the first time it's Chris Stevens helping him...and shrugs it off, more concerned with dumping Zack out of the battle royal!
Meanwhile, not too far away, Dan Black now has Scotty Static half in half out and is trying to force the Global Party Exchanger the rest of the way out!
COLE
We've got two men in real danger here! We've got Zack being double teamed, Static on the verge...and we've got a brawl in another corner with the remaining four too.
The fans don't quite know whether to route for Zack or route for Black, causing a mass support for "ZLACK" to swell up. Reaching out, Zack takes a dangerous gamble, removing one arm from his grip on the top rope...to CLUB CWM over the head! Stevens gets clubbed too, followed up with another club for CWM. Meanwhile, as Zack is fighting for his life, Scotty Static has grabbed onto Dan Black's head and pulled him into the ropes, both men now jostling to get the other in position for elimination. Back with Zack, and a shot catches Chris Stevens with enough power to knock him away. Which allows Zack to then batter CWM, freeing himself from his grip...and planting both feet on safe ground!
*WHAM!*
As across the ring, Hoff gets drilled with a Drek Stone assisted Gunner powerbomb.
"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"
The cheer goes up for Zack, not Gunner, as The Franchise measures Stevens, waiting for him to turn around...
*SMACK!*
...BEFORE BOOTING HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!
COLE
School's Out for Chris Stevens!
COACH
And he's calling for another...
CWM turns around moments later and Zack, fired up, shoots off a School's Out at CWM...BUT CWM DUCKS...
...AND ZACK CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE!!
"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Zack clutches his lower extremities, but the big concern is Zack hovering dangerously on the top rope. Skidding to a halt, CWM quickly turns on his heels and charges at Zack. Seeing CWM charging at him, Zack's eyes burst open...but he doesn't panic, grabbing the top rope on which he is seated and rolling over the top...
...hanging on...
...as CWM can't put the brakes on in time...
...AND CRASHES TO THE FLOOR!!!!
"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
BUFFER
CWM has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CWM
LEFT: 8th
ELIMINATED: Caboose
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu
LEFT IN RING: 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As CWM tumbles over and past him, Zack re-adjusts his grip on the top rope and skins the cat, back into the ring, to another cheer. Zack wastes little time in then going back after the still kick-drunk Stevens. The battle between Dan Black and Scotty Static rages on, while Leon Rodez is now at the mercy of Gunner Sharps and Drek Stone. Drek is calling the shots, whipping Rodez into a neutral corner. On orders, Gunner then follows in and engulfs Rodez with an avalanche in the corner!
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
The crowd are right on The Reckless One's case, while Gunner whips Rodez out from the corner...
*SLAP!*
"WHOOOO!"
...and Drek knocks him off his feet with a knifedge chop! Rodez clutches his chest and remains hurt on the canvas, along with Hoff. Drek is still calling the shots meanwhile, pointing to Zack Malibu now, who has his back turned on Gunner and is applying a front facelock on Chris Stevens.
COLE
Oh no, Zack doesn't see it coming...he's going for the Falling Star Driver on Stevens...but he needs to turn around...
But Zack doesn't turn around in time, allowing Gunner to HEADBUTT Zack right in the trapezious area. Zack immediately loses his grip on Stevens and slumps to a kneeling position. Grabbing the hair, Gunner pulls Malibu back up and casually presses Zack over his head! Screams from the crowd get ever louder as Gunner turns out to the crowd, ready to toss Zack out of the ring...
...until Drek Stone stand in his way, wagging his finger!
COLE
What the hell?
COACH
I don't think Drek's done with Zack yet! This is a perfect opportunity, with Gunner Sharps doing his bidding, for Drek to deal with Zack once and for all.
Gunner continues to hold Zack overhead while Drek is explaining what he wants from the bigman. Kicking and struggling, Zack tries desperately to get himself free. But Gunner now has his intructions, turning back into the centre of the ring and dropping Zack down into a SCINTILATTING SPINEBUSTAAAAAA~!~!
"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COACH
Tortured Soul Slam on Zack!
COLE
Gunner's run through Hoff. He's run through Rodez. He's run through Zack. And now, it seems like the only guy in the ring who can stop this monster is Drek Stone!
With three down, Zack doesn't worry about Chris Stevens. Instead, he points out Dan Black to Gunner and gestures to the monster to toss Black out. Gunner points over too and seems to question Drek's suggestion. So Drek re-iterates, again telling Gunner to throw Black out. With a shrug, Gunner turns to Dan Black who is still tussling with Scotty Static, charging over and charging...
...DUMPING OUT BLACK...
...AND SCOTTY STATIC!!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
WHAT THE...OH, MY!
COACH
HOLLA~!
COLE
...
COACH
Sorry.
COLE
...I don't think Drek wanted THAT!
BUFFER
DAN BLACK...AND SCOTTY STATIC have been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DAN BLACK
LEFT: 9th
ELIMINATED: Caboose
ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SCOTTY STATIC
LEFT: 10th
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps
LEFT IN RING: 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indeed, as the announcement is made, Drek cannot believe his eyes. Gunner doesn't seem to be shocked at the result and indeed brushes his hands in a symbol of a job well done, turning around...and getting LAUNCHED into with a verbal BARRAGE from Drek!!
COLE
Drek'd better calm down here. Or he's going to realise he can't push this monster around...
And suddenly, Cole is proved dead-right, as GUNNER GRABS A GOOZLE ON DREK!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
COLE
...YEAH! GO AHEAD!!
Drek is like a dear caught in the headlights as Gunner plants his hand around Drek's back, ready to lift him for a Chokeslam...but he has second thoughts and, much to the dislike of the crowd, lets Drek go.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
COLE
Damn it, why did Gunner let Drek go? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP!?!
Gasping for breath, Drek crouches over as Gunner begins to apologise. He's soon cut off though, as he here comes Hoff again, laying into Gunner with right hands. And Rodez is up too, attacking Drek with right hands as well. That perks up the crowd, as Gunner and Drek are left reeling from the seperate attacks. With their opponents backed against the ropes, Hoff and Rodez exchange a nod and look for stereo irish whips. Rodez gets his, but Gunner reverses on Hoff. While they hit the ropes, Gunner swipes out at Rodez. Rodez ducks though and still manages to backdrop Drek...while Hoff launches off his feet and hits a flying shoulder block! Gunner's still up though, so it's Rodez hitting the ropes, connecting with a flying forearm...that staggers Gunner! The bigman is reeling as quickly Hoff and Rodez link arms and charge Gunner with a double clothesline, toppling him back...
...but not over the top...
...but Hoff and Rodez are right on him, grabbing a leg each and attempting to lift Gunner out! Again, it doesn't seem like Hoff and Rodez alone stand a chance of getting Gunner out. Especially as Chris Stevens pulls himself back up and drags Hoff off of Gunner, popping him with a right hand! Which allows Gunner to turn the tables and toss Rodez ou...NO, Rodez again hangs onto the top rope and lands on the apron!! Realising Rodez is still safe, Gunner swings at him. Rodez ducks the swipe though, snaring Gunner's head and dropping to one knee which drops him throat first across the top rope!
COLE
Rodez showing a lot of heart here, standing up to Gunner regardless of size or power!
As Stevens continues to attack Hoff, now assisted by Drek, Gunner stumbles away from Rodez. Giving The Silky Smooth One time to re-enter the ring and give Gunner the "up yours"! Furious, Gunner charges. But Rodez is waiting, with a drop-toe-hold that causes the giant to fall throat first across the middle rope! The crowd pop, Drek and Stevens oblivious to what's going on, as Rodez does...
COACH
TEH DANCE~!
...before hitting the ropes, charging back and DRIVING his weight into the lower back of the monster!
COACH
CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES, YO~!
COLE
And now, Rodez is going over to help Hoff!
And help Hoff he does, pulling Drek off...
*SLAP!*
"WHOOOO!"
...and returns the favour from earlier, with a knifedge!
*SLAP!*
"WHOOOO!"
...a second!
*SLAP!*
"WHOOOO!"
...and a third.
RODEZ
C'MON BEH-BAY!!
Fired up, Rodez hits the ropes...but Drek ducks a clothesline. Keeping his momentum going, Rodez hits the ropes once more. But Drek is waiting for him and springs off his heels with a gorgeous standing dropkick that connects to the BUTT of the jaw!!
COLE
Wow, from out of nowhere, Drek Stone turns the tables!
Looking decidedly shaky despite his dropkick, Drek tries to go back after Hoff...AND GETS MOWED DOWN!! Hoff has burts back into life, much to the shock of Chris Stevens who charges him...
...BUT HOFF SIDESTEPS HIM AND STEERS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
BUFFER
CHRIS STEVENS has been eliminated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHRIS STEVENS
LEFT: 11th
ELIMINATED: Peter Knight
ELIMINATED BY: Hoff
LEFT IN RING: 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLE
And we are down to FIVE!! It's gonna be either Zack, Rodez, Gunner, Drek or Hoff who goes on to AngleSlam.
COACH
It's time to seperate the men from the boys.
As Stevens is set to be escorted out, Hoff is now caught up in a battle with Drek again. The two, despite being weary from their tag matches earlier and the battle royal so far, go toe to toe with exchanged rights hands. Hoff connects. Drek. Hoff. Drek. Hoff. Quickly, Drek halts the exchange by going to the gut with a knee and turns Hoff against the ropes, sending him across the ring. A swing and a miss follows from Drek though, as Hoff ducks a clothesline. On runs Hoff, as Drek tries a back elbow...and misses again. Off the ropes still goes Hoff, as Drek swings once more. Again Hoff ducks though, this time putting on the brakes behind The Reckless One. Cursing, Drek turns around, little knowing that Hoff is waiting with a SPINEBUSTAAAAAAA~!
"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"
Drek writhes in pain as Hoff snaps back up, firing up the crowd...and turning blindly into a boot to the gut from Gunner. Over runs the recovered Zack Malibu, but Gunner wipes him out with a clothesline. He then boots Hoff again, pulling him into a standing headscissors...and pointing down the ramp.
COLE
What is this now?
COACH
He's gonna Powerbomb him, Cole. He's gonna...
COLE
Not just a Powerbomb...I think he's calling for All Guns Blazing! My God Coach, he's gonna Powerbomb him right out of the ring!!
With Hoff's head firmly crushed between his kneecaps, Gunner slams in a couple of forearms to make sure Hoff has been weakened down. He then reaches down and hoists up Hoff in one swift, almost effortless motion, ready to send Hoff out of the battle royal and possibly into early retirement...
...but suddenly, Rodez bursts into life. Hitting the ropes in front, Rodez springs off of the bent-over Hoff...
...AND NAILS THE BEMUSED GUNNER WITH A MODIFIED SHINING WIZARD!!
"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
WHAT A SHOT!!
Staggering backwards, Gunner carries on going, halting at the ropes and turning back around. But by the time he does, it's not just Hoff and Rodez waiting, but Zack Malibu as well! Gunner is still clearly messed up from his wizard being shone, trying to charge at the trio but suddenly feeling his legs collapse beneath him! Struggling not to fall down, Gunner is suddenly ambushed, by Hoff, by Zack and by Rodez, who force Gunner back and start to try and lift him out!
COLE
Here we go! Can they do it with three!?!
COACH
Well, they're gonna have to, because Drek sure isn't gonna help them!
Gunner is still too dazed to fight back it seems. But Drek is back and grabs the first person he can get to, pulling Hoff off of Gunner and...getting a right hand blocked! Hoff quickly ducks under the arm and hooks the tights, no wasted motion in SPIKING Drek with a Rock Bottom!!
"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
And that's Drek sorted!!
Rodez and Zack each have a leg now, as Hoff comes back up. Smartly though, instead of going for the legs too, Hoff stoops low and ducks underneath Gunner, s l o w l y standing up, which elevates Gunner up!!
"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
THEY'VE GOT HIM UP!
COACH
Woah!
COLE
Gunner's going here! GUNNER'S GOING!!
Roaring through the pain and struggle, Hoff continues to push upwards, Zack and Rodez still helping him out...
...as Gunner looks shocked, unable to stop himself going further up...
...and now, he's teetering on the brink...
"THROW HIM OUT!"
"THROW HIM OUT!"
"THROW HIM OUT!"
"THROW HIM OUT!"
...one last push from Hoff follows, as Rodez and Zack push forwards, Gunner's legs now above his head...
...and he's going...
...going...
...going...
*SPLAT!*
"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
...GONE!!!!!
COLE
GUNNER IS GONE! WHAT AN EFFORT FROM RODEZ, ZACK AND HOFF...WHAT AN UNLIKELY THREESOME! BUT THEY BANDED TOGETHER, THEY DUMPED GUNNER OUT! AND NOW, THIS BATTLE ROYAL IS FOR THE TAKING!!
BUFFER
GUNNER SHARPS has been eliminated!!
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GUNNER SHARPS
LEFT: 12th
ELIMINATED: Synth Esizer, Brock Ausstin, Dan Black, Scotty Static
ELIMINATED BY: Hoff, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez
LEFT IN RING: 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With just four left, Drek looks completely screwed now. Gunner is completely screwed meanwhile, looking like the giant that fell from the beanstalk, laying on almost dented concrete as referees group around him. But Gunner is stunned rather than hurt though, to the relief of the caring refs but to no difference to the uncaring masses.
COLE
So Gunner is out of the running and I'm sure Axel will be relieved to know that.
COACH
True. But he's still got one of these four great athletes in his future.
COLE
Indeed. And from here, it's anyone's to win, although I don't much like Drek Stone's odds. There is no love lost between Drek and any of his three opponents.
COACH
But you can say that about all of them. Except maybe Hoff and Rodez, there's bad blood between every pairing that there could be. And even they don't aren't great friends or anything.
With the crowd still getting over Gunner's elimination, Zack, Hoff and Rodez have stopped and are all now waiting for Drek Stone to get back up. Drek pulls himself slowly up, met immediately with a right handed jab from Rodez.
Down goes Drek, but he pulls himself back up...right hand from Hoff.
Back up comes Drek again, already looking punch-drunk...right hand from Hoff again.
Zack, who had loaded up for a right of his own, shoves Hoff away and waits for Drek again. But Hoff doesn't appreciate the push, pushing Zack back. Which raises the ire of The Franchise, snapping around to face Hoff and going nose to nose with him...to a HUGE pop from the crowd!
COACH
Here we go, it's gonna kick off!
COLE
It was almost inevitable. The history between Zack and Hoff pretty much writes itself and you knew, at the slightest drop of the hat, Zack and Hoff would go at it...
The tension can be cut with a knife as Hoff and Zack exchange heated words, each daring the other to be first to strike. Rodez rocks Drek with another right hand meanwhile, before happening to glance around and finally see the face-off taking place. Quickly Leon leaves Drek and jogs over, trying to interject himself between the two, trying to let cooler heads prevail...
*CHING!*
"OOOHHHH - "
...AND GETS AN UPPERCUT BELOW THE BELT!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
COLE
Welcome to Ouchtown...population, you.
Rodez collapses to his knees dramatically, giving Drek chance to roll away and gain a breather...
...as suddenly, the punches start flying!! The crowd go into a state of frenzy as Zack and Hoff exchange right hands at a furious pace, holding nothing back as pent up frustration brewing for months finally spills over...
...which isn't the only thing spilling over...
...as Drek suddenly charges from nowhere and ZACK TAKES A SPILL OVER THE TOP ROPE, CRASHING TO THE FLOOR AND OUT OF THE BATTLE ROYAL!!!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
BUFFER
ZACK MALIBU has been eliminated!!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ZACK MALIBU
LEFT: 13th
ELIMINATED: JINGUS, CWM, Gunner Sharps
ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone
LEFT IN RING: 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLE
What the HELL was that!?! Drek BLINDSIGHTED Zack Malibu! He's been avoiding him for practically the entire battle royal and, sure enough, the first time they come into contact, it's Drek with a complete cheapshot!
COACH
Hey, right or wrong, it's a battle royal Mickey. These things happen.
COLE
Yeah, right. They seem to happen alot with Drek Stone...these sneak attacks.
On the floor, Zack takes a moment to realise what just happened. Before looking up, seeing as confused Hoff and a smirking Drek. Drek capitalises on the resulting confusion by running through Hoff with a quick leg lariat. As on the outside, Zack Malibu tries to dive back into the ring, only just held back by a group of referees. Rolling back around, Drek smirks down at Zack and dares him to get back into the ring, which of course The Franchise cannot do. Which drives Zack crazy, not just for the lost opportunity at AngleSlam, but for the fact he wants to get his hands on Drek.
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
"DREK STONE SUCKS!"
Eventually, Zack sighs and gives up, beginning to leave...but not without flipping Drek off. Sneering, Drek shoos him off and goes back to the action. Grabbing Rodez first, a forearm is fired down by Drek into Rodez's forehead. And again. Drek then takes the moment to pound his chest in an attempt to lure the crowd, before nailing Rodez again. Before Drek can mug for the crowd again though, Rodez fights back, hitting a shot to the gut. Drek fires back, but it's Rodez again going to the gut. And again. Again, again, again! Drek is suddenly on the backfoot and the crowd are perking up, as Rodez suddenly goes for the legs of Drek. Defensively, The Reckless One wraps his arms around Leon's waist to block.
COLE
Rodez is trying for an elimination it seems here.
COACH
Which is a smart move, considering it's a battle royal.
COLE
...
Rodez carries on going for the takedown. Drek continues to block. And eventually, Drek manages to pull Rodez's leg off the mat, long enough to sit back and drop him with a short piledriver! Going limp, Rodez slumps onto his side and looks vacantly up at the lights. The familiar smirks re-emerges on the face of Drek now as he swaggers over to where Hoff is now recovering, casually swinging out at him...NO, ducked...GERMAN!
COLE
OH! He drilled him! I think Hoff was playing possum, Coach!
Getting back up, Hoff is now the one with the smirk on his face as he grabs at Drek's leg, trying to apply the dreaded Anklelock submission in! Drek frantically tries to scramble away. But Hoff is persistant and eventually gets the Anklelock in...
...but Drek just as quickly rolls through, his momentum sending Hoff crashing throat-first over the middle rope. Bouncing off, Hoff grabs his throat, gasping for breath. Meeting him with a boot, Drek then applies the front faelock, looking for the StoneCutter! Hoff is just as quick to counter out of Drek's finisher as Drek was his though, dead-lifting Stone up over his shoulder and charging him towards the ropes. Waving frantically, the attempts to stop Hoff are futile for Drek as Hoff continues his charge...
...and tries to force Drek over the top!
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"
The crowd wild, as does Drek...wild in panic, wildly flailing for a foothold or something to cling onto. Desperately Drek manuoevers himself into a better position and fires down a right hand to Hoff. And again.
COLE
Look at the desperation! Drek Stone can TASTE the AngleSlam title-shot...and he can feel it slipping from his grasp at the very same time!!
Hoff looks a little dazed as Drek nail another couple of shots, pinpointed to the temple. A final shot connects and finally Hoff lets go of Drek to stumble back across the ring and tend to his throbbing forehead. Steadying himself, Drek can finally plant his feet on the middle rope and takes full advantage of doing so, springboarding off into Hoff and wiping him out with a diving clothesline!
DREK
YEAH! HOW'DYA LIKE THAT HOFF!?! HOW'DYA LIKE THA..AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...
*SPLAT!*
"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
DREK IS GONE!!!
The crowd go nuts, as Drek taunting has just cost him...with Leon Rodez sneaking up behind Drek and PITCHING him clear out of the ring, much to the shock of The Reckless One! As Drek hits the floor and looks up in shock, the first thing he sees is Leon Rodez, shrugging his shoulders...and fixing his hair, to the delight of the crowd and despair of Drek.
BUFFER
"RECKLESS" DREK STONE has been eliminated!!
"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DREK STONE
LEFT: 14th
ELIMINATED: Alfdogg, Zack Malibu
ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez
LEFT IN RING: 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COLE
Drek got a taste of his own medicine! Earlier, it was he with a sneaky elimination on Zack...and now, the sneaker got out sneaked!
COACH
Well put.
COLE
And now, just like that, we are down to the final two. Hoff and Leon Rodez, who'da thunk it, with the winner on his way to AngleSlam. I can't remember an actual meeting between these two men Coach...this may very well be a first time one on one meeting here!
COACH
This may well prove fascinating!
Rodez finally breaks away from his mocking of Drek, who is being escorted to the back by a number of referees, checking for no funny business. Getting to his feet, Hoff sees Rodez is the only guy left in with him. Cue awkward looks. Until finally, Rodez extends a hand...and Hoff shakes his hand.
Cut to backstage, where Caboose is watching on a monitor, vomiting into a nearby bucket.
COLE
A show of respect from both these men.
COACH
I'm sure they'd rather each other won, if they had to lose, than Drek. Di...did that make any sense.
COLE
No, but nobody's listening to you anyway.
Hoff is the first to get physical, going to the gut of Rodez with a knee and immediately picking him up into a fireman's carry! Frantic, Rodez manages to slide off of Hoff's back before he can be carried to the ropes, quickly spinning Hoff around and rocking him with a jab!
A jab!
A jab!
A jab!
A ja...NO, ducked! Rodez lumbers around, right into a lift and a pendulum backbreaker! Hoff rolls to his knees, smiling wryly and posing for the crowd. He then clambers up, bringing Rodez with him...but getting rocked with a headbutt to the solar plexus! The wind rushes out of Hoff, but he quickly clubs Rodez across the shoulder blades. But gets a second headbutt drilled into his mid-drift. Hoff doubles over this time. However, as Rodez tries a third headbutt, Hoff traps Rodez in a front facelock. Rodez tries to punch himself free, but suddenly Hoff starts to backtrack, bringing Rodez with him...and battering rams his head, backwards, into the middle turnbuckle!! Staggering out, the Silky Smooth One is disorientated, long enough for Stevens to hit the opposite ropes and...
...GET THROWN OVER THE TOP...
...HANGING ONTO THE ROPES TO SAVE HIMSELF AND TWIST HIMSELF BACK IN!!
"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
COLE
So close for Hoff!
Rodez pounces on Hoff, locking him up and going for a DDT. Blocking, Hoff lifts Rodez ready for a Northern lights...but Rodez plants a foot on the bottom rope, using it as a push-off to hit a beautiful swinging tornado DDT that plants Hoff right on his head!! Seeing his chance, Rodez then adjusts Hoff's position near the corner and begins to climb to the top rope.
COACH
Where's he going?
COLE
I don't understand this. Rodez isn't going to eliminate Hoff with the Because The Lady Loves.
But regardless, Rodez is slowly scaling the turnbuckles and giving the signal for the 450. Only trouble is, Hoff is up, diving dazily into the ropes and CROTCHING Rodez on the top turnbuckle!! Rodez's eyes turn saucer-sized, as Hoff quickly backs up, charging and nailing a clothesline...
...TAKING RODEZ OFF THE BUCKLES...
...BUT HE HANGS ON!!
"YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
COLE
And so close for Rodez too!!
Rodez's fans pop, as he clings onto the ropes and skins the cat. Seeing his attempts to get back in, Hoff tries to pounce on Rodez. But in doing so, Hoff walks right into a modified headscissors from Rodez. The Silky Smooth One makes sure he's got his legs clamped around the head, before tumbling back forwards...
...LEVERING OVER HOFF...
...BUT ONLY TO THE APRON!! Now both Hoff and Rodez are on the apron and both pull themselves to their feet, both looking exhausted from the night's action. First to react is Hoff, clubbing Rodez with an overhand right. Rodez clings onto the ropes and somehow avoids falling to the floor, before throwing his own shot back. Now it's Hoff teetering and just about hanging on, firing back at Rodez and almost knocking HIM to the ground.
COLE
They're both on the brink here. These men are one shot away from elimination, or one shot away from number one contendership!!
COACH
It's gutcheck time, Cole, right?
COLE
If...if you like.
The tension is palpable, as Rodez nails Hoff with a quick boot to the gut before taking a nack-step, charging at Hoff. Seeing Rodez coming, Hoff ducks his head though, lifting up Rodez...
...TURNING TO THE CROWD...
...and dropping Rodez across the top rope with a hot-shot! Bouncing up once, Rodez manages to somehow remain hung over the top, safe from elimination. For now. As Hoff turns back, pushing the ropes forward...
...then pulling back...
...LAUNCHING RODEZ BACK...
...AND FLYING TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
COLE
HE DID IT! HOFF DID IT!!
COACH
Woah, is Rodez okay?
COLE
I...I think so Coach. He took one hell of a flight, but he seems to be okay. But he's not going to AngleSlam. That honour...goes to HOFF! And it'll be Hoff versus Axel at AngleSlam! Oh boy, what a match!
BUFFER
LEON RODEZ has been eliminated!!
"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LEON RODEZ
LEFT: 15th
ELIMINATED: PRL, Drek Stone
ELIMINATED BY: Hoff
LEFT IN RING: 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BUFFER
Your winner, of Battlebowl...HOOOOOOOFFFFFF!!!!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOFF
TEH WINN0R~!
ELIMINATED: Chris Stevens, Leon Rodez
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dropping to one knee, Hoff punches his fist in ecstacy as his other arm is raised in the air by referee Mark Hebner. Rodez is meanwhile being checked on by other refs, apparantly no more than a little shaken up from his back-first landing.
COLE
What a night! From 32 to 1 odds, Hoff is going to AngleSlam, to face the World Heavyweight Champion! From Michael Cole, Coach and that l05er Caboose, it's a rather rushed goodnight from Battlebowl, but no doubt this celebration is going to go on through the night for Hoff. What a night!
