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alfdogg

OAOAST Mods
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Everything posted by alfdogg

  1. alfdogg

    Battlebowl feedback

    Leave thoughts on the show and such.
  2. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    Hawks will sign Joe Johnson to a five-year, $70 Million offer sheet, Suns will match Link~
  3. alfdogg

    LTP Booking Thread

    I approve of November Reign, as well.
  4. alfdogg

    Booking for the 7/14 show

    Damn, this match is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I thought I'd be able to find a map and write the match similar to my match with FS, but the most detailed one I can find is the one at the MOA website, and even that one's nearly impossible to figure out. Here's an example
  5. alfdogg

    The One and Only Axel Thread

    *HEARTLAND BELTSHOT~ to the vomiting smiley* I hate that fuckin' smiley.
  6. alfdogg

    Check it out

    Thanks, Papacita.
  7. alfdogg

    TSM H2H NBA League: Year Two (2004-2005)

    Well, the league is still nearly four months away and I've already fucked up. Last year's draft was ordered by what place we finished in the year before...and of course I didn't think to keep track of what place we finished in this year. All I remember is that I missed the playoffs and I want to say Cuban had the best regular season record. Any suggestions?
  8. alfdogg

    Larry Hughes to Cavs

    They shouldn't have too much trouble getting back to the playoffs, but I don't think they'll need to make any Round 2 t-shirts this year.
  9. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    I changed the format of the first post, it should be a little easier to follow now.
  10. alfdogg

    Larry Hughes to Cavs

    Simmons is already committed to the Bucks.
  11. alfdogg

    Booking for the 7/14 show

    I have no problem with Hoff on commentary, if it means I can send him my match and he can add it in.
  12. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    No shit, that's fuckin' ridiculous. I'm not saying he won't be a good player, but the guy's had one productive season. What if Gheorghe Muresan or Isaac Austin had gotten that kind of money after winning the MIP.
  13. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    The Bucks have also found a new coach, GS assistant and former Hawks coach Terry Stotts.
  14. alfdogg

    Booking for 7/7

    Rest assured the new Puerto Rican (for now) champion will be in the house.
  15. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    Joe Johnson is still out there, as well, and maybe Houston and Finley after the CBA cuts. Hughes will command considerably more money than Mobley or Simmons, I would think. I wouldn't be surprised to see him get a contract siimilar to what Arenas got with the Wizards.
  16. alfdogg

    London awarded 2012 Olympics

    I'd hit it
  17. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

    Robert Horry will re-sign with the Spurs for three years.
  18. alfdogg

    NBA Draft

    Discuss the draft in this thread. Here's the order Round 1 1. Milwaukee - Andrew Bogut, F, Utah 2. Atlanta - Marvin Williams, G, North Carolina 3. Utah (from Portland) - Deron Williams, G, Illinois 4. New Orleans - Chris Paul, G, Wake Forest 5. Charlotte - Raymond Felton, G, North Carolina 6. Portland (from Utah) - Martell Webster, G, Seattle Prep HS (WA) 7. Toronto - Charlie Villanueva, F, Connecticut 8. New York - Channing Frye, C, Arizona 9. Golden State - Ike Diogu, F, Arizona State 10. LA Lakers - Andrew Bynum, C, St. Joseph's HS (NJ) 11. Orlando - Fran Vazquez, F, Spain 12. LA Clippers - Yaroslav Korolev, F, CSKA Moscow 13. Charlotte - Sean May, F, North Carolina 14. Minnesota - Rashad McCants, G, North Carolina 15. New Jersey - Antoine Wright, G, Texas A & M 16. Toronto (from Philadelphia via Denver and New Jersey) - Joey Graham, F, Oklahoma State 17. Indiana - Danny Granger, F, New Mexico 18. Boston - Gerald Green, F, Gulf Shores Academy HS (TX) 19. Memphis - Hakim Warrick, F, Syracuse 20. Denver (from Washington via Orlando) - Julius Hodge, G, North Carolina State 21. Phoenix (from Chicago) - Nate Robinson, G, Washington 22. Denver - Jarrett Jack, G, Georgia Tech 23. Sacramento - Francisco Garcia, G, Louisville 24. Houston - Luther Head, G, Illinois 25. Seattle - Johan Petro, C, France 26. Detroit - Jason Maxiell, F, Cincinnati 27. Portland (from Utah via Dallas) - Linas Kleiza, F/C, Missouri 28. San Antonio - Ian Mahinmi, F, France 29. Miami - Wayne Simien, F, Kansas 30. New York (from Phoenix via San Antonio) - David Lee, F, Florida Round 2 31. Atlanta - Salim Stoudamire, G, Arizona 32. LA Clippers (from Charlotte) - Daniel Ewing, G, Duke 33. New Orleans - Brandon Bass, F, LSU 34. Utah - C.J. Miles, G, Skyline HS (TX) 35. Portland - Ricky Sanchez, F, IMG Academy HS (FL) 36. Milwaukee - Ersan Ilyasova, F, Turkey 37. LA Lakers (from New York via Atlanta and Charlotte) - Ronny Turiaf, F, Gonzaga 38. Orlando (from Toronto) - Travis Diener, G, Marquette 39. LA Lakers - Von Wafer, G, Florida State 40. Golden State - Monta Ellis, G, Lanier HS (MS) 41. Toronto (from Orlando) - Roko Ukic, G, Croatia 42. Golden State (from LA Clippers via New Jersey) - Chris Taft, F/C, Pittsburgh 43. New Jersey - Mile Ilic, C, Serbia 44. Orlando (from Cleveland) - Martynas Andriuskevicius, C, Lithuania 45. Philadelphia - Louis Williams, G, South Gwinnett HS (GA) 46. Indiana - Erazem Lorbek, F/C, Slovenia 47. Minnesota - Bracey Wright, G, Indiana 48. Seattle (from Memphis) - Mickael Gelabale, F, France 49. Washington - Andray Blatche, F, South Kent Prep HS (CT) 50. Boston - Ryan Gomes, F, Providence 51. Utah (from Chicago via Houston) - Robert Whaley, F, Walsh University 52. Denver - Axel Hervelle, F, Belgium 53. Boston (from Sacramento) - Orien Greene, G, Louisiana-Lafayette 54. New York (from Houston) Dijon Thompson, G, UCLA 55. Seattle - Lawrence Roberts, F, Mississippi State 56. Detroit - Amir Johnson, F, Westchester HS (CA) 57. Phoenix (from Dallas via New Orleans) - Marcin Gortat, F/C, Germany 58. Toronto (from Miami) - Uros Slokar, F, Slovenia 59. Atlanta (from San Antonio) - Cenk Akyol, G, Turkey 60. Detroit (from Philadelphia via Utah and Phoenix) - Alex Acker, G, Pepperdine I should be around for this, so I'll update this post as the draft goes along.
  19. alfdogg

    NBA Offseason Stuff

  20. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    Credits Alfdogg Nice Guy Adam Hoff King Cucharacha Mystery Eskimo CanadianChick Zack Malibu
  21. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    PRESENTS BATTLEBOWL~!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~ ! COLE The fireworks are appropriate because it's the 4th of July, baby! Welcome to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this is BATTLEBOWL~! I'm Michael Cole along with the Coach, and Coach, tonight 32 men go out there in tag matches with no knowledge of their friends or enemies to try to get to a battle royal, in which the winner earns a shot at the OAOAST World championship at AngleSlam!!! COACH That's right, Michael, and normally I'd give a favorite for matches like these right from the get-go, but I can't do that tonight! I'd love to give Drek Stone my stamp of approval for this event, but what happens if he winds up with someone like Hoff as a partner? Then those two have to co-exist in order to get their chance at a title shot! Who knows WHAT'S going to happen? *The camera cuts to two seperate locker rooms consisting of the faces and heels.* COLE There you see the 32 participants in their respective locker rooms, waiting with baited breath on their names to be called! Let's get things underway with our first matchup, let's go to the man at the tumbler tonight, "Mean" Gene Okerlund, who will be assisted by Maria!
  22. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    As we return to the Monday spectacular that is Battlebowl, the crowd are still on their feet, despite the draining night of top-class OAOAST action yadda yadda yadda. COLE Well, after eight of the most interesting matches we've seen in the OAOAST for some time, tonight has come down to this. Sixteen men remain in contention for the World Title shot, guaranteed, at AngleSlam. We've had some shocks. Some surprises. But the best is yet to come Coach. COACH Oh, totally. COLE ...it's just a shame Caboose isn't here, rather than competing tonight. It's only when he's gone that you miss him. COACH Oh, totally. COLE With all due respect 'Boose, hopefully you can get dumped out early and join us on commentary again. COACH Oh, tota...no, wait, scratch that. Suddenly, "LaLa" by Ashlee Simpson hits...and here come the sixteen! JINGUS. Synth Esizer. Chris Stevens. Brock Ausstin. Puerto Rican Lightning. Leon Rodez. Gunner Sharps. Scotty Static. Drek Stone. Alfdogg. Peter Knight. Caboose. Dan Black. CWM. Zack Malibu. And Hoff, looking distinctly pissed at the choice of music. COLE We must be running low on time. A single entrance for all sixteen entrants here. COACH And just look at the ring fill up with that mass of humanity. The sixteen begin to bundle into the ring one by one, each taking up their own positions. The crowd's reactions eems to change every few seconds as the field of wrestlers strolls past. COLE Well, who are you going for Coach? COACH Uhm...I'll go for Gunner. He's real big. COLE No shit. COACH Huh? COLE Nothing, nothing. My money's on Caboose by the way. If I pick anyone else, he'll hit me with his cricket bat again. Not that he won't if I DO choose him...but, still. With all 16 men entered, the ring has filled completely up. Gunner, Drek and Scotty Static have all grouped in one corner of the ring. Caboose is currently in discussion with Zack, pointing over to that corner, with CWM and Dan Black are also looking over to the same area. Meanwhile, Peter Knight is busy yelling threats at Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens. Alf and PRL are also in heated discussion. Rodez, Synth, Hoff and JINGUS are all keeping themselves to themselves as everyone in the ring waits impatiently for the bell to ring. *DING DING DING!* COACH BUNDLLLEEE!! Straight on the bell, PRL and Alfdogg begin to tear into each other in the centre of the ring. Chaos ensues around them meanwhile as Zack, Caboose, Dan Black, CWM and Hoff all launch across the ring and target the biggest man in the battle royal, Gunner Sharps! Luckily for Gunner, he has Drek and Scotty Static to help fend the five off. And Chris Stevens moments later, having weaseled away from Peter Knight (who JINGUS is now brawling with) and ambushed Hoff from behind. Brock Ausstin soon wades in and it's almost 5 on 5 in one corner. Meanwhile, it's still Knight and JINGUS duking it out, Alf and PRL scrapping on the mat in the centre of the ring, leaving Leon Rodez and Synth Esizer to go at it across the ring. COLE Just as we suspected, we've got gang warfare breaking out in the ring. We've pretty much got the youngsters against the oldsters in one corner, while everyone else is concentrating on each other. COACH And it looks like the youngsters are getting the better of it! Having gained his bearings, Gunner is now wading into every veteran he's in reach of. Down goes Zack. Closely followed by CWM. Gunner finally gets out of the corner and lays out Hoff with a clothesline from behind, before he can get to the begging off Chris Stevens. Drek, Static and the CSI duo can now just stand back and watch, as Gunner quickly pulls Dan Black in from arms length, smashing him with a short-arm clothesline! And Caboose is next, a short-arm clothesline for him too. The three brawls across the ring continue unaffected, as Drek picks CWM slowly off the canvas. CSI are dealing with the rest now, as Drek irish whips CWM, right into a goozle from Gunner... *WHAM!* ...and a THUNDEROUS Chokeslam!! CWM convulses on the canvas, as Scotty Static has Zack ready and waiting to be to fed the giant...with a goozle... *WHAM!* ...and a Chokeslam for Zack too! CSI, Drek, Static, Gunner...all left standing. But suddenly, they get hit by another wave of wrestlers! Alf and PRL have stopped brawling, with PRL going after Chris Stevens while Alf has finally got his hands on Scotty Static! COLE I think everyone in this match has realised where the real danger is...and here come some more re-enforcements!! As the numbers engulf Alf and PRL, Leon Rodez and Synth Esizer stop brawling too and go after Drek and Brock respectively. Across the ring meanwhile, JINGUS has just hurled Peter Knight over the top rope. Knight has held on, but JINGUS could care less...as now, his sights are set on Gunner Sharps!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Woah boy...there the beef Cole, there the beef!! COLE What a face-off! JINGUS and Gunner Sharps! And this crowd are buzzing here! Despite the (unfamiliar) size difference, JINGUS doesn't back down a step from Gunner. Peter Knight glances at the face-off and wisely slides stealthly past, instead going after Chris Stevens...who sees Knight coming, diving out of the ring through the middle rope. The fans that notice boo Stevens, as Knight settles for battling with Brock. JINGUS and Gunner are still eyeing each other up, waiting for the other to make the first move. Neither seems to want to and the stand-off continues, for what seems like minutes... ...as around them, the oldies are getting to their feet! Getting to their feet are Zack, CWM, as well as Caboose and Dan Black. The four uneasily gather as a group, putting aside their hatred for the moment and bundling into Gunner and JINGUS! A few of the fans sigh or boo, having looked forward to the JINGUS/Gunner battle. A battle they won't get just yet, as CWM and Black attack Gunner while Caboose and Zack go after JINGUS. Eventually, Caboose sees CWM and Black struggling, so goes to help the two...regardless of personal feelings. All the others in the match are busy with their own battles, which leave the uneasy trio free reign to beat down Gunner. And Zack free reign to do battle with JINGUS, rocking him back towards the ropes with forearm after forearm. The blows aren't having much effect on the downright scary member of Hell's Hitmen, but Zack sticks with it. JINGUS suddenly finds himself backed against the ropes and desperatly pushes out, sending Zack back a few steps. Zack is still coming with the forearms though. So JINGUS pushes Zack back again, charging out and looking to take his head off with a clothesline. Zack ducks though, scampering over and grabbing the top rope. By now, JINGUS is stuck in tunnel vision mode, completely ignoring Alfdogg who is suddenly facing him and charging at Zack again... ...but Zack pulls the ropes down, lowbridging JINGUS and causing the bigman to topple over the top and to the floor!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER JINGUS has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JINGUS LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: 15 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE The first elimination of Battlebowl goes to Zack Malibu! And that's a big threat taken out of this field of...well, now, field of fifteen. COACH Well, JINGUS is big...but he proved he wasn't too smart. Zack doesn't take a second glance at the vanquished Hell's Hitman, immediately bypassing his partner of earlier and going right after Scotty Static. Meanwhile, there's commotion on the outside, as Hoff has sneakily rolled out of the ring and is now advancing on Chris Stevens. Stevens doesn't know it yet. But the reaction of the crowd let him know something is up, causing him to turn around...and fall prey to a FLURRY from Hoff! The fans go wild as Hoff tees off on Stevens, who looks for the nearest getaway, but finds nothing but Hoff's fist each time. Back in the ring, the other 13 competitors left are still as they were. Alf and Zack are now taking turns over laying into Scotty Static. Gunner is still being triple teamed by the CWM/Dan Black/Caboose combination. Peter Knight and Leon Rodez are trying to lift out a defiant Brock Ausstin. Meanwhile, PRL is laying the smackdown on Synth Esizer. Drek Stone is about the only person in the battle royal not doing anything at the moment. But that soon changes, as Caboose peels away from Gunner and starts to pound away on a totally unprepared Drek! *KE-RRAAAAASSSSSHH!!* With all that playing backdrop to Hoff/Stevens on the floor, with Hoff dislodging the steel steps courtesy of a hard irish whip from Stevens. COLE We've got brawls in the ring, brawls on the floor...this is almost impossible to call here! COACH Maybe Caboose'll help when he gets thrown out. COLE Maybe. But Caboose could end up going all the way here, Coach. COACH ... COLE & COACH BWA-HAHA-HAHAAA!!! Stevens pounces on Hoff and puts the boots to him. As back in the ring, Caboose is pounding Drek in the corner. Scotty Static is fairing about as well as his newfound buddy, still getting overwhelmed by the equally retribution seeking Zack and Alf. In the centre of the ring meanwhile, CWM and Dan Black are facing a bigger battle with Gunner Sharps. Gunner is taking, seemingly, the best shots of both men and is still standing. So now, CWM and Black link arms and hit the ropes, nailing Gunner with a double clothesline. Gunner stays up on his feet though. Looking at each other and nodding, CWM and Black try again, hitting another double clothesline...but again, Gunner staggers back a step and no more. Black quickly glances around looking for some extra help. But his momentary distraction allows Gunner to goozle Black! COLE Uh-oh...Black's caught. Sensing trouble, CWM rushes over and starts to pepper Gunner with right hands. Leon Rodez has also seen in, letting Knight and Brock go at it, jumping on Gunner's back and trying to lock on a sleeper. COLE Gunner's still fighting! He's fighting off three guys...pawing at CWM, trying to shake off Rodez, still choking Black. COACH It's like watching The Borrowers or something. People just hanging off of Gunner. Gunner eventually shrugs off Rodez, who falls to the mat. About the same time, CWM goes tumbling backwards from a big club from the bigman. Leaving Black to get Chokeslamme...NO! Black goes low on Gunner and saves himself. As CWM pulls himself up, Black punts Gunner in the nether regions again for good measure, before dropping to one knee. CWM suddenly rushes forward, getting a leg-up from Black, which allows him to snare Gunner and DROP him with a Pollycutter!! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" COLE Assisted Pollycutter on Gunner! Amazing! Getting back to their feet, CWM and Black high-five. Rodez also seems happy for the two and with a smile, high-fives first CWM and then Black. Before turning back to CWM... ...POLLYCUTTER TO RODEZ!! "...BOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH I tell ya what Mickey, if Dan Black and CWM can keep this up, they've got the strength in numbers here. They're working well as a team. And they could pretty much dump everyone else out together. COLE True. Only they and Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens really have the true team edge in this battle royal. COACH Which is doing neither any good while Stevens is out on the floor. CWM and Black again exchange a high-five, before looking around for another victim. As they do, Chris Stevens is finally dumped in the ring by Hoff. And quickly, he becomes the next victim, CWM hitting the quick boot to the gut and Black following up instantaniously with the BlackOut! Hoff soon follows in, but CWM is waiting with a clothesline. Seeing it coming, Hoff quickly ducks and prepares one of his own...but is cut off by Dan Black. Another mixed reaction greets CWM and Black for their equal opportunity ass-kickings. The two quickly re-group and again search the ring, finding a target finally in Drek Stone... ...at least, until they detour, nailing Caboose in the back of the head with a double clothesline... ...THAT SENDS CABOOSE CRASHING OUT OF THE BATTLE ROYAL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Aw, they blindsighted him! BUFFER CABOOSE has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CABOOSE LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: CWM, Dan Black LEFT IN RING: 14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking up, Caboose is stunned to be gone. And even more stunned that it was CWM and Dan Black who were responsible. Zack and Alf have seen this and suddenly leave Scotty Static be to confront them. COLE It all looked so promising earlier. But the old guard are falling apart again. They just can't get on. And now, we've got Zack and Alf, CWM and Dan Black...who, if they could just get on the same page, could deal with the ungrateful upstarts like Static and Stone. COACH Never gonna happen. There's just too much bad blood. The two duos go face to face, with Zack and Black exchanging heated words, Alf and CWM just staring each other down. The chaotic brawling on the other side of the ring is in stark contract, as there's nothing but tension where the four stand. Zack seems to be gesturing that CWM and Black should have helped Caboose instead of dumping him out. Black, seemingly, doesn't agree. But before they have chance to resolve their differences, Drek and Static have grouped behind Zack and Alfdogg, charging and wiping them out. Drek and Static continue the attack, putting in the boots, as CWM and Black just watch on and symbolically refuse to help. Suddenly though, Gunner Sharps is back up and charges through them with a double clothesline. COLE And there it is again. Just when things are looking up, the dissention allows these upstart punks to cheapshot everyone. This pettyness, this refusal to co-operate...it isn't helping anyone, except guys like Drek and guys like Gunner Sharps. Gunner, Scotty and Drek are left standing over the four veterans, with Scotty and Drek putting the boots to the four. Meanwhile, Gunner has turned away, stepping over the bodies of Hoff, Rodez and Stevens to get to the remaining three men in the battle royal. Knight and Brock are still getting into it. So Gunner leaves them, instead plucking PRL off of Synth Esizer...like, literally...locking in a full nelson and just SPIKING him with a full nelson slam! PRL rolls around in agony, while Gunner nails Synth with a boot. Reaching down, Gunner then scoops up Synth and hovers over the ropes, PRESSING Synth over his head and PRESSING HIM TO THE FLOOR! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Synth hits HARD and nervous referees rush over to check on his condition, as Gunner looks down with a smirk. Just another step on the road to AngleSlam. BUFFER SYNTH ESIZER has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SYNTH ESIZER LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps LEFT IN RING: 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The smirk remains on the face of Gunner as he turns around, in search of another potential elimination. But all he finds is Hoff, back up, SPEARING him down and EXPLODING with a barrage of right hands!! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE LOOK AT HOFF GO!! COACH And look out here! Zack's in trouble Cole! Across the ring, Drek and Static has Zack Malibu up and are trying to dispatch him from the battle royal. Zack is holding on and that, along with Hoff's sudden burst of energy, has brought the crowd to their feet. The struggle goes on as Zack is in desperate need on help. But Alfdogg is still down. CWM is up. So is Dan Black. But they blatantly disregard Zack and instead drag Alfdogg over to the corner to put the boots to him! Hoff doesn't see Zack on his way out. Neither does Peter Knight, busy beating the hell out of Brock. Or the still hurting PRL. Infact, it seems Zack is helpless... ...helpless... ...except for Leon Rodez, pulling Scotty Static off of Zack and levelling him with a right hand! Drek then gets pulled and nailed too, before Rodez goes back after Static. Which allows Zack to re-enter the ring and hover over Drek. COLE Here we go... COACH Aw, this is what we've been waiting for for so long Mickey! Zack and Drek! COLE And we're finally going to get it...NO! Suddenly, CWM breaks away from his stomping and runs through Zack with a clothesline before he can even get a fingertip on Drek. CWM now goes after Zack... ...as across the ring, Brock Ausstin has burst into life and has Peter Knight up on his shoulders!! COLE F-STUNNER-5... ...NO! Knight escapes, landing on his feet behind Brock! Stumbling forward, Brock wonders what the hell just happened, lumbering around in search of Knight...and getting nailed with a big boot! But as soon as Knight stumbles through finding his feet, Chris Stevens emerges from his 'hiding' and levels Knight with a Superkick! Down goes Knight, as Stevens frantically tries to wake Brock Ausstin back up. As he does, Drek Stone wanders over...but he leaves Stevens alone, his target being Hoff, who is desperately trying to get Gunner in a position to dump him out. Brock is recovering by now meanwhile, Knight too. Stevens is stuck between the two, urging Brock to hurry up. But it's Knight to his feet first... ...GETS NAILED FROM BEHIND BY PRL!! "BOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blindsighted, Knight stumbles forwards. Stevens goes low and wheels Knight up against the ropes, lifting a leg as Brock quickly bundles over and starts to push the upper half of Knight's body over the top! Knight is teetering, Brock's massive force and the added help of Chris Stevens uniting to keep Peter in serious trouble. "LET'S GO PE - TER!" "LET'S GO PE - TER!" "LET'S GO PE - TER!" The fans are behind Knight. But even their voice is not enough to counter-act Brock and Stevens, Knight getting pushed ever closer to elimination, over... ...over... ...over... ...AND GONE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER PETER KNIGHT has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PETER KNIGHT LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin, Chris Stevens LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The boos rain down on the CSI duo, as Knight begins to pull himself up almost immediately. Stevens turns to Knight, pointing the finger at him and laughing away at Knight's failure. Until he sees Brock Ausstin FLYING past him, over the top, to the floor!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER BROCK AUSSTIN has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BROCK AUSSTIN LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Peter Knight ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stevens, in shock, turns around...and gets even more of a shock, as he sees Gunner Sharps was responsible for his team-mate elimination. Instantly Stevens starts to beg off, unable to escape to the floor because Peter Knight is still being convinced to leave. So Stevens takes the smart option, scuttling away on hands and knees to escape. Gunner turns to follow him but suddenly, Leon Rodez rushes over and tries to shock Gunner with a single leg to trip him over... ...and Gunner's height means that he looks close to going... ...for little more than a few seconds, before he reaches down and CLUBS Rodez between the shoulder blades! Another shot finally subdues Rodez, long enough for Gunner to grab an arm and hiptoss Rodez over the top... ....BUT RODEZ HANGS ON DESPERATELY! Grabbing the top rope, Rodez manages to save himself and quickly scrambles up to the top rope. Gunner is meanwhile busy running through PRL with a boot, then Hoff with a clothesline...before finally Drek Stone points out Rodez atop the ropes. Gunner lumbers around, just as Rodez launches off the top rope with a crossbody. Thinking quickly, Gunner is able to duck...but Drek, following in behind, isn't so lucky and gets wiped out by the Silky Smooth One! Gunner turns around quickly, but is met by Hoff and tackled into the corner. Hoff wastes no time in grabbing a leg, trying to lift out the bigman...and quick as a flash, Rodez rushes over and helps him out. COLE They're going after Gunner here! COACH They need more help though. They need more numbers, because just Hoff and just Rodez ain't gonna cut it! Indeed, the monstrous Gunner is too much for just Hoff and Rodez to cope with and he soon pushes both away. Hoff tries charging again, but Gunner sends him away with a headbutt! Trying to follow up, Rodez ends up getting snatched at the side and planted with a sidewalk slam, leaving him writhing in agony. Just what Scotty Static wanted, as he gives a sign of peace to Gunner, while Rodez rolls out of harm's way. Chris Stevens is still trying to keep away from the action meanwhile, as still the battle between CWM/Black and Alf/Zack continues on the otherside of the ring. The four seem far more concerned with beating the snot out of each other than actually trying to eliminate one another however. Hoff has now staggered over to where the fight is going on. Drek Stone is also staggering over now, avoiding Hoff...and instead, creeping up behind Alfdogg... ...AND TOSSING HIM OVER THE TOP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What the... COACH Drek got Alf! From out of nowhere!! COLE And Alf didn't see it coming!! What a sneaky elimination from Drek Stone! BUFFER ALFDOGG has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALFDOGG LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone LEFT IN RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And we are down to the final 10, Coach. COACH We sure are...and look at this. It looks we're getting a battle-line drawn! Drek stumbles frantically away from the side of the ring he just vanquished Alfdogg from and over to safe territory with Gunner, Static and Chris Stevens. Static tries to go after Rodez but is held back from Drek, who calls the three together. COLE This doesn't look good here. It looks like Drek is trying to get Scotty Static, Chris Stevens and Gunner Sharps on his side. But across the ring, CWM and Dan Black are together. Hoff and Zack are pulling themselves up and suddenly, they too are together. With a glance across, CWM and Black see Hoff and Zack and there's clearly no love lost. But almost in unison, the four look back at the four men grouped on the opposite side of the ring. And, without words, without gestures, they seem to call a truce! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Could it be? COULD IT BE!?! COACH It's four on four Mickey! COLE Are the old guard finally putting their differences aside? They're going to have to! And it looks like Hoff is convincing Zack, convincing CWM, convincing Dan Black...convincing them to stick together. The crowd are BUZZING as it's a four on four face-off. Drek, Gunner, Static and Stevens versus Hoff, Zack, CWM and Black...with PRL and Leon Rodez just now getting to their feet in the centre of the ring! The two stop and look from left to right, finding themselves in potential crossfire between young and old (or, old + Hoff). And all of a sudden, it seems that Drek Stone is trying to call Rodez over to them. PRL is wondering what the hell is going on too, as is Rodez. Both sides are now calling over to Rodez and to PRL, gesturing frantically, trying to call them up to join their makeshift squads. PRL looks tempted on both sides, anything to get a numbers edge, anything to get closer to the World Title shot. On the other-hand, Rodez looks distinctly un-tempted by both sides. So now, it's a question of 'Who will PRL side with'. A question that will get no answers, as suddenly PRL sprints at Leon Rodez... ...AND GETS BACKDROPPED RIGHT THE WAY OUT OF BATTLEBOWL~! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PRL LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Furious, PRL starts to BUG OUT~ on the floor, as Rodez smirks and waves him bye-bye watching on as the assembled referees have to physically stop PRL from re-entering the ring and going after The Silky Smooth One. But Rodez is soon confronted again by the gang-war brewing on either side of him. Drek is furiously gesturing for Rodez to join his fellow youngsters. Meanwhile, Hoff is trying to counter-act and call Rodez over to his side. Not knowing what to do, Rodez turns to the crowd and asks for their suggestion...to a noisy, but undistinguishable answer. COLE Hmm...I don't think that'll help Rodez decide. COACH No kidding. That was just noise. Rodez still looks confused. And eventually, as the two sides continue to hassle Rodez into joining their ranks, The Silky Smooth One says 'to hell with this' and slides out of the ring! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Nobody in the ring approves of that move. Not least Drek Stone, who breaks from his troops to start yelling at Rodez. But suddenly, Drek suddenly goes flying off his feet, tackled to the ground by Hoff...TRIGGERING OFF A BUNDLE IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE THE WAR HAS BEGUN! Hoff and Drek exchange right hands on the mat, while around them it's Zack and Static, CWM and Stevens, Black and Gunner! Now the teams have started to do battle, Rodez rolls back into the ring and quickly jumps in to help Black in his fight with the big Gunner. In amongst the brawling, Scotty Static gets sent into the ropes by Zack and PRESSED upwards, before crashing back down to earth, Flapjack style! Zack then fires up the crowd, but Chris Stevens jumps him from behind, only for CWM to in turn jump Stevens. Meanwhile, Drek and Hoff continue to do battle on the canvas, just exchanging heated blow after heated blow. COLE One of these nine is going on to AngleSlam...from thirty two, we are down to just nine. And you'd have to give the edge to Drek, or Gunner, or Static...three men who seem to have formulated a gameplan, as a team. But right now, none of them are doing all that well for themselves. COACH And neither is Chris Stevens! Grabbing a leg, Malibu has Stevens teetering over the top now. Across the ring, Scotty Static is getting back up and catches Rodez on the blindside with a dropkick. Rodez tumbles across the ring, ending up underneath the bottom rope. But Static forgets all about Rodez and instead goes after Dan Black. Back over in the corner meanwhile, Zack has both of Stevens' legs off the canvas and has CSI's leader frantically wailing for help. Luckily for Stevens, CWM is back up and rather than help Zack, he instead lifts up HIS legs and starts to try and tip him out! COLE Wai...CWM, trying to get Zack out now! And THIS is why Drek and co have the advantage in this match! Nobody else can get along long enough to band against them! With Zack being elevated, Stevens is gradually closer and closer to being tipped out as well...CWM on the verge of a double elimination. Zack tries to kick CWM off, trying to yell at him to think about what he's doing at the same time. But CWM continues to lift Zack anyway... ...causing Stevens to fall over the top... ...but Stevens hangs onto the top rope, dangling precariously for a moment before levering himself back into the ring. Relieved to still be alive in the battle royal, Stevens seems a little lost momentarily. Black and Static are still going at it. Gunner has now stepped over to help Drek and now they are double teaming Hoff, momentarily, before Leon Rodez again goes after the bigman. So Stevens leaves them all to their own battles and stumbles back over to HELP CWM! COACH Look at this...Stevens has crossed the battle-lines! COLE Well, these battle royals make for strange-bedfellows. And let's face it, Chris Stevens has no real beef with CWM or any real alliance with Static or Drek or Gu... COACH TRAITOR! TURNCOAT! DEFECTOR! COLE Did Caboose leave already? Can we get him back out here? CWM glances over, realising for the first time it's Chris Stevens helping him...and shrugs it off, more concerned with dumping Zack out of the battle royal! Meanwhile, not too far away, Dan Black now has Scotty Static half in half out and is trying to force the Global Party Exchanger the rest of the way out! COLE We've got two men in real danger here! We've got Zack being double teamed, Static on the verge...and we've got a brawl in another corner with the remaining four too. The fans don't quite know whether to route for Zack or route for Black, causing a mass support for "ZLACK" to swell up. Reaching out, Zack takes a dangerous gamble, removing one arm from his grip on the top rope...to CLUB CWM over the head! Stevens gets clubbed too, followed up with another club for CWM. Meanwhile, as Zack is fighting for his life, Scotty Static has grabbed onto Dan Black's head and pulled him into the ropes, both men now jostling to get the other in position for elimination. Back with Zack, and a shot catches Chris Stevens with enough power to knock him away. Which allows Zack to then batter CWM, freeing himself from his grip...and planting both feet on safe ground! *WHAM!* As across the ring, Hoff gets drilled with a Drek Stone assisted Gunner powerbomb. "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" The cheer goes up for Zack, not Gunner, as The Franchise measures Stevens, waiting for him to turn around... *SMACK!* ...BEFORE BOOTING HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!! COLE School's Out for Chris Stevens! COACH And he's calling for another... CWM turns around moments later and Zack, fired up, shoots off a School's Out at CWM...BUT CWM DUCKS... ...AND ZACK CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Zack clutches his lower extremities, but the big concern is Zack hovering dangerously on the top rope. Skidding to a halt, CWM quickly turns on his heels and charges at Zack. Seeing CWM charging at him, Zack's eyes burst open...but he doesn't panic, grabbing the top rope on which he is seated and rolling over the top... ...hanging on... ...as CWM can't put the brakes on in time... ...AND CRASHES TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER CWM has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CWM LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Caboose ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As CWM tumbles over and past him, Zack re-adjusts his grip on the top rope and skins the cat, back into the ring, to another cheer. Zack wastes little time in then going back after the still kick-drunk Stevens. The battle between Dan Black and Scotty Static rages on, while Leon Rodez is now at the mercy of Gunner Sharps and Drek Stone. Drek is calling the shots, whipping Rodez into a neutral corner. On orders, Gunner then follows in and engulfs Rodez with an avalanche in the corner! "DREK STONE SUCKS!" "DREK STONE SUCKS!" "DREK STONE SUCKS!" The crowd are right on The Reckless One's case, while Gunner whips Rodez out from the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!" ...and Drek knocks him off his feet with a knifedge chop! Rodez clutches his chest and remains hurt on the canvas, along with Hoff. Drek is still calling the shots meanwhile, pointing to Zack Malibu now, who has his back turned on Gunner and is applying a front facelock on Chris Stevens. COLE Oh no, Zack doesn't see it coming...he's going for the Falling Star Driver on Stevens...but he needs to turn around... But Zack doesn't turn around in time, allowing Gunner to HEADBUTT Zack right in the trapezious area. Zack immediately loses his grip on Stevens and slumps to a kneeling position. Grabbing the hair, Gunner pulls Malibu back up and casually presses Zack over his head! Screams from the crowd get ever louder as Gunner turns out to the crowd, ready to toss Zack out of the ring... ...until Drek Stone stand in his way, wagging his finger! COLE What the hell? COACH I don't think Drek's done with Zack yet! This is a perfect opportunity, with Gunner Sharps doing his bidding, for Drek to deal with Zack once and for all. Gunner continues to hold Zack overhead while Drek is explaining what he wants from the bigman. Kicking and struggling, Zack tries desperately to get himself free. But Gunner now has his intructions, turning back into the centre of the ring and dropping Zack down into a SCINTILATTING SPINEBUSTAAAAAA~!~! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Tortured Soul Slam on Zack! COLE Gunner's run through Hoff. He's run through Rodez. He's run through Zack. And now, it seems like the only guy in the ring who can stop this monster is Drek Stone! With three down, Zack doesn't worry about Chris Stevens. Instead, he points out Dan Black to Gunner and gestures to the monster to toss Black out. Gunner points over too and seems to question Drek's suggestion. So Drek re-iterates, again telling Gunner to throw Black out. With a shrug, Gunner turns to Dan Black who is still tussling with Scotty Static, charging over and charging... ...DUMPING OUT BLACK... ...AND SCOTTY STATIC!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WHAT THE...OH, MY! COACH HOLLA~! COLE ... COACH Sorry. COLE ...I don't think Drek wanted THAT! BUFFER DAN BLACK...AND SCOTTY STATIC have been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DAN BLACK LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Caboose ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCOTTY STATIC LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Gunner Sharps LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Indeed, as the announcement is made, Drek cannot believe his eyes. Gunner doesn't seem to be shocked at the result and indeed brushes his hands in a symbol of a job well done, turning around...and getting LAUNCHED into with a verbal BARRAGE from Drek!! COLE Drek'd better calm down here. Or he's going to realise he can't push this monster around... And suddenly, Cole is proved dead-right, as GUNNER GRABS A GOOZLE ON DREK!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE ...YEAH! GO AHEAD!! Drek is like a dear caught in the headlights as Gunner plants his hand around Drek's back, ready to lift him for a Chokeslam...but he has second thoughts and, much to the dislike of the crowd, lets Drek go. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damn it, why did Gunner let Drek go? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP!?! Gasping for breath, Drek crouches over as Gunner begins to apologise. He's soon cut off though, as he here comes Hoff again, laying into Gunner with right hands. And Rodez is up too, attacking Drek with right hands as well. That perks up the crowd, as Gunner and Drek are left reeling from the seperate attacks. With their opponents backed against the ropes, Hoff and Rodez exchange a nod and look for stereo irish whips. Rodez gets his, but Gunner reverses on Hoff. While they hit the ropes, Gunner swipes out at Rodez. Rodez ducks though and still manages to backdrop Drek...while Hoff launches off his feet and hits a flying shoulder block! Gunner's still up though, so it's Rodez hitting the ropes, connecting with a flying forearm...that staggers Gunner! The bigman is reeling as quickly Hoff and Rodez link arms and charge Gunner with a double clothesline, toppling him back... ...but not over the top... ...but Hoff and Rodez are right on him, grabbing a leg each and attempting to lift Gunner out! Again, it doesn't seem like Hoff and Rodez alone stand a chance of getting Gunner out. Especially as Chris Stevens pulls himself back up and drags Hoff off of Gunner, popping him with a right hand! Which allows Gunner to turn the tables and toss Rodez ou...NO, Rodez again hangs onto the top rope and lands on the apron!! Realising Rodez is still safe, Gunner swings at him. Rodez ducks the swipe though, snaring Gunner's head and dropping to one knee which drops him throat first across the top rope! COLE Rodez showing a lot of heart here, standing up to Gunner regardless of size or power! As Stevens continues to attack Hoff, now assisted by Drek, Gunner stumbles away from Rodez. Giving The Silky Smooth One time to re-enter the ring and give Gunner the "up yours"! Furious, Gunner charges. But Rodez is waiting, with a drop-toe-hold that causes the giant to fall throat first across the middle rope! The crowd pop, Drek and Stevens oblivious to what's going on, as Rodez does... COACH TEH DANCE~! ...before hitting the ropes, charging back and DRIVING his weight into the lower back of the monster! COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES, YO~! COLE And now, Rodez is going over to help Hoff! And help Hoff he does, pulling Drek off... *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!" ...and returns the favour from earlier, with a knifedge! *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!" ...a second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!" ...and a third. RODEZ C'MON BEH-BAY!! Fired up, Rodez hits the ropes...but Drek ducks a clothesline. Keeping his momentum going, Rodez hits the ropes once more. But Drek is waiting for him and springs off his heels with a gorgeous standing dropkick that connects to the BUTT of the jaw!! COLE Wow, from out of nowhere, Drek Stone turns the tables! Looking decidedly shaky despite his dropkick, Drek tries to go back after Hoff...AND GETS MOWED DOWN!! Hoff has burts back into life, much to the shock of Chris Stevens who charges him... ...BUT HOFF SIDESTEPS HIM AND STEERS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER CHRIS STEVENS has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHRIS STEVENS LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: Peter Knight ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And we are down to FIVE!! It's gonna be either Zack, Rodez, Gunner, Drek or Hoff who goes on to AngleSlam. COACH It's time to seperate the men from the boys. As Stevens is set to be escorted out, Hoff is now caught up in a battle with Drek again. The two, despite being weary from their tag matches earlier and the battle royal so far, go toe to toe with exchanged rights hands. Hoff connects. Drek. Hoff. Drek. Hoff. Quickly, Drek halts the exchange by going to the gut with a knee and turns Hoff against the ropes, sending him across the ring. A swing and a miss follows from Drek though, as Hoff ducks a clothesline. On runs Hoff, as Drek tries a back elbow...and misses again. Off the ropes still goes Hoff, as Drek swings once more. Again Hoff ducks though, this time putting on the brakes behind The Reckless One. Cursing, Drek turns around, little knowing that Hoff is waiting with a SPINEBUSTAAAAAAA~! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Drek writhes in pain as Hoff snaps back up, firing up the crowd...and turning blindly into a boot to the gut from Gunner. Over runs the recovered Zack Malibu, but Gunner wipes him out with a clothesline. He then boots Hoff again, pulling him into a standing headscissors...and pointing down the ramp. COLE What is this now? COACH He's gonna Powerbomb him, Cole. He's gonna... COLE Not just a Powerbomb...I think he's calling for All Guns Blazing! My God Coach, he's gonna Powerbomb him right out of the ring!! With Hoff's head firmly crushed between his kneecaps, Gunner slams in a couple of forearms to make sure Hoff has been weakened down. He then reaches down and hoists up Hoff in one swift, almost effortless motion, ready to send Hoff out of the battle royal and possibly into early retirement... ...but suddenly, Rodez bursts into life. Hitting the ropes in front, Rodez springs off of the bent-over Hoff... ...AND NAILS THE BEMUSED GUNNER WITH A MODIFIED SHINING WIZARD!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WHAT A SHOT!! Staggering backwards, Gunner carries on going, halting at the ropes and turning back around. But by the time he does, it's not just Hoff and Rodez waiting, but Zack Malibu as well! Gunner is still clearly messed up from his wizard being shone, trying to charge at the trio but suddenly feeling his legs collapse beneath him! Struggling not to fall down, Gunner is suddenly ambushed, by Hoff, by Zack and by Rodez, who force Gunner back and start to try and lift him out! COLE Here we go! Can they do it with three!?! COACH Well, they're gonna have to, because Drek sure isn't gonna help them! Gunner is still too dazed to fight back it seems. But Drek is back and grabs the first person he can get to, pulling Hoff off of Gunner and...getting a right hand blocked! Hoff quickly ducks under the arm and hooks the tights, no wasted motion in SPIKING Drek with a Rock Bottom!! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And that's Drek sorted!! Rodez and Zack each have a leg now, as Hoff comes back up. Smartly though, instead of going for the legs too, Hoff stoops low and ducks underneath Gunner, s l o w l y standing up, which elevates Gunner up!! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE THEY'VE GOT HIM UP! COACH Woah! COLE Gunner's going here! GUNNER'S GOING!! Roaring through the pain and struggle, Hoff continues to push upwards, Zack and Rodez still helping him out... ...as Gunner looks shocked, unable to stop himself going further up... ...and now, he's teetering on the brink... "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" ...one last push from Hoff follows, as Rodez and Zack push forwards, Gunner's legs now above his head... ...and he's going... ...going... ...going... *SPLAT!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...GONE!!!!! COLE GUNNER IS GONE! WHAT AN EFFORT FROM RODEZ, ZACK AND HOFF...WHAT AN UNLIKELY THREESOME! BUT THEY BANDED TOGETHER, THEY DUMPED GUNNER OUT! AND NOW, THIS BATTLE ROYAL IS FOR THE TAKING!! BUFFER GUNNER SHARPS has been eliminated!! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GUNNER SHARPS LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: Synth Esizer, Brock Ausstin, Dan Black, Scotty Static ELIMINATED BY: Hoff, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With just four left, Drek looks completely screwed now. Gunner is completely screwed meanwhile, looking like the giant that fell from the beanstalk, laying on almost dented concrete as referees group around him. But Gunner is stunned rather than hurt though, to the relief of the caring refs but to no difference to the uncaring masses. COLE So Gunner is out of the running and I'm sure Axel will be relieved to know that. COACH True. But he's still got one of these four great athletes in his future. COLE Indeed. And from here, it's anyone's to win, although I don't much like Drek Stone's odds. There is no love lost between Drek and any of his three opponents. COACH But you can say that about all of them. Except maybe Hoff and Rodez, there's bad blood between every pairing that there could be. And even they don't aren't great friends or anything. With the crowd still getting over Gunner's elimination, Zack, Hoff and Rodez have stopped and are all now waiting for Drek Stone to get back up. Drek pulls himself slowly up, met immediately with a right handed jab from Rodez. Down goes Drek, but he pulls himself back up...right hand from Hoff. Back up comes Drek again, already looking punch-drunk...right hand from Hoff again. Zack, who had loaded up for a right of his own, shoves Hoff away and waits for Drek again. But Hoff doesn't appreciate the push, pushing Zack back. Which raises the ire of The Franchise, snapping around to face Hoff and going nose to nose with him...to a HUGE pop from the crowd! COACH Here we go, it's gonna kick off! COLE It was almost inevitable. The history between Zack and Hoff pretty much writes itself and you knew, at the slightest drop of the hat, Zack and Hoff would go at it... The tension can be cut with a knife as Hoff and Zack exchange heated words, each daring the other to be first to strike. Rodez rocks Drek with another right hand meanwhile, before happening to glance around and finally see the face-off taking place. Quickly Leon leaves Drek and jogs over, trying to interject himself between the two, trying to let cooler heads prevail... *CHING!* "OOOHHHH - " ...AND GETS AN UPPERCUT BELOW THE BELT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Welcome to Ouchtown...population, you. Rodez collapses to his knees dramatically, giving Drek chance to roll away and gain a breather... ...as suddenly, the punches start flying!! The crowd go into a state of frenzy as Zack and Hoff exchange right hands at a furious pace, holding nothing back as pent up frustration brewing for months finally spills over... ...which isn't the only thing spilling over... ...as Drek suddenly charges from nowhere and ZACK TAKES A SPILL OVER THE TOP ROPE, CRASHING TO THE FLOOR AND OUT OF THE BATTLE ROYAL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER ZACK MALIBU has been eliminated!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ZACK MALIBU LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: JINGUS, CWM, Gunner Sharps ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone LEFT IN RING: 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE What the HELL was that!?! Drek BLINDSIGHTED Zack Malibu! He's been avoiding him for practically the entire battle royal and, sure enough, the first time they come into contact, it's Drek with a complete cheapshot! COACH Hey, right or wrong, it's a battle royal Mickey. These things happen. COLE Yeah, right. They seem to happen alot with Drek Stone...these sneak attacks. On the floor, Zack takes a moment to realise what just happened. Before looking up, seeing as confused Hoff and a smirking Drek. Drek capitalises on the resulting confusion by running through Hoff with a quick leg lariat. As on the outside, Zack Malibu tries to dive back into the ring, only just held back by a group of referees. Rolling back around, Drek smirks down at Zack and dares him to get back into the ring, which of course The Franchise cannot do. Which drives Zack crazy, not just for the lost opportunity at AngleSlam, but for the fact he wants to get his hands on Drek. "DREK STONE SUCKS!" "DREK STONE SUCKS!" "DREK STONE SUCKS!" "DREK STONE SUCKS!" Eventually, Zack sighs and gives up, beginning to leave...but not without flipping Drek off. Sneering, Drek shoos him off and goes back to the action. Grabbing Rodez first, a forearm is fired down by Drek into Rodez's forehead. And again. Drek then takes the moment to pound his chest in an attempt to lure the crowd, before nailing Rodez again. Before Drek can mug for the crowd again though, Rodez fights back, hitting a shot to the gut. Drek fires back, but it's Rodez again going to the gut. And again. Again, again, again! Drek is suddenly on the backfoot and the crowd are perking up, as Rodez suddenly goes for the legs of Drek. Defensively, The Reckless One wraps his arms around Leon's waist to block. COLE Rodez is trying for an elimination it seems here. COACH Which is a smart move, considering it's a battle royal. COLE ... Rodez carries on going for the takedown. Drek continues to block. And eventually, Drek manages to pull Rodez's leg off the mat, long enough to sit back and drop him with a short piledriver! Going limp, Rodez slumps onto his side and looks vacantly up at the lights. The familiar smirks re-emerges on the face of Drek now as he swaggers over to where Hoff is now recovering, casually swinging out at him...NO, ducked...GERMAN! COLE OH! He drilled him! I think Hoff was playing possum, Coach! Getting back up, Hoff is now the one with the smirk on his face as he grabs at Drek's leg, trying to apply the dreaded Anklelock submission in! Drek frantically tries to scramble away. But Hoff is persistant and eventually gets the Anklelock in... ...but Drek just as quickly rolls through, his momentum sending Hoff crashing throat-first over the middle rope. Bouncing off, Hoff grabs his throat, gasping for breath. Meeting him with a boot, Drek then applies the front faelock, looking for the StoneCutter! Hoff is just as quick to counter out of Drek's finisher as Drek was his though, dead-lifting Stone up over his shoulder and charging him towards the ropes. Waving frantically, the attempts to stop Hoff are futile for Drek as Hoff continues his charge... ...and tries to force Drek over the top! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The crowd wild, as does Drek...wild in panic, wildly flailing for a foothold or something to cling onto. Desperately Drek manuoevers himself into a better position and fires down a right hand to Hoff. And again. COLE Look at the desperation! Drek Stone can TASTE the AngleSlam title-shot...and he can feel it slipping from his grasp at the very same time!! Hoff looks a little dazed as Drek nail another couple of shots, pinpointed to the temple. A final shot connects and finally Hoff lets go of Drek to stumble back across the ring and tend to his throbbing forehead. Steadying himself, Drek can finally plant his feet on the middle rope and takes full advantage of doing so, springboarding off into Hoff and wiping him out with a diving clothesline! DREK YEAH! HOW'DYA LIKE THAT HOFF!?! HOW'DYA LIKE THA..AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH... *SPLAT!* "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE DREK IS GONE!!! The crowd go nuts, as Drek taunting has just cost him...with Leon Rodez sneaking up behind Drek and PITCHING him clear out of the ring, much to the shock of The Reckless One! As Drek hits the floor and looks up in shock, the first thing he sees is Leon Rodez, shrugging his shoulders...and fixing his hair, to the delight of the crowd and despair of Drek. BUFFER "RECKLESS" DREK STONE has been eliminated!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DREK STONE LEFT: 14th ELIMINATED: Alfdogg, Zack Malibu ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Drek got a taste of his own medicine! Earlier, it was he with a sneaky elimination on Zack...and now, the sneaker got out sneaked! COACH Well put. COLE And now, just like that, we are down to the final two. Hoff and Leon Rodez, who'da thunk it, with the winner on his way to AngleSlam. I can't remember an actual meeting between these two men Coach...this may very well be a first time one on one meeting here! COACH This may well prove fascinating! Rodez finally breaks away from his mocking of Drek, who is being escorted to the back by a number of referees, checking for no funny business. Getting to his feet, Hoff sees Rodez is the only guy left in with him. Cue awkward looks. Until finally, Rodez extends a hand...and Hoff shakes his hand. Cut to backstage, where Caboose is watching on a monitor, vomiting into a nearby bucket. COLE A show of respect from both these men. COACH I'm sure they'd rather each other won, if they had to lose, than Drek. Di...did that make any sense. COLE No, but nobody's listening to you anyway. Hoff is the first to get physical, going to the gut of Rodez with a knee and immediately picking him up into a fireman's carry! Frantic, Rodez manages to slide off of Hoff's back before he can be carried to the ropes, quickly spinning Hoff around and rocking him with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A ja...NO, ducked! Rodez lumbers around, right into a lift and a pendulum backbreaker! Hoff rolls to his knees, smiling wryly and posing for the crowd. He then clambers up, bringing Rodez with him...but getting rocked with a headbutt to the solar plexus! The wind rushes out of Hoff, but he quickly clubs Rodez across the shoulder blades. But gets a second headbutt drilled into his mid-drift. Hoff doubles over this time. However, as Rodez tries a third headbutt, Hoff traps Rodez in a front facelock. Rodez tries to punch himself free, but suddenly Hoff starts to backtrack, bringing Rodez with him...and battering rams his head, backwards, into the middle turnbuckle!! Staggering out, the Silky Smooth One is disorientated, long enough for Stevens to hit the opposite ropes and... ...GET THROWN OVER THE TOP... ...HANGING ONTO THE ROPES TO SAVE HIMSELF AND TWIST HIMSELF BACK IN!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE So close for Hoff! Rodez pounces on Hoff, locking him up and going for a DDT. Blocking, Hoff lifts Rodez ready for a Northern lights...but Rodez plants a foot on the bottom rope, using it as a push-off to hit a beautiful swinging tornado DDT that plants Hoff right on his head!! Seeing his chance, Rodez then adjusts Hoff's position near the corner and begins to climb to the top rope. COACH Where's he going? COLE I don't understand this. Rodez isn't going to eliminate Hoff with the Because The Lady Loves. But regardless, Rodez is slowly scaling the turnbuckles and giving the signal for the 450. Only trouble is, Hoff is up, diving dazily into the ropes and CROTCHING Rodez on the top turnbuckle!! Rodez's eyes turn saucer-sized, as Hoff quickly backs up, charging and nailing a clothesline... ...TAKING RODEZ OFF THE BUCKLES... ...BUT HE HANGS ON!! "YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE And so close for Rodez too!! Rodez's fans pop, as he clings onto the ropes and skins the cat. Seeing his attempts to get back in, Hoff tries to pounce on Rodez. But in doing so, Hoff walks right into a modified headscissors from Rodez. The Silky Smooth One makes sure he's got his legs clamped around the head, before tumbling back forwards... ...LEVERING OVER HOFF... ...BUT ONLY TO THE APRON!! Now both Hoff and Rodez are on the apron and both pull themselves to their feet, both looking exhausted from the night's action. First to react is Hoff, clubbing Rodez with an overhand right. Rodez clings onto the ropes and somehow avoids falling to the floor, before throwing his own shot back. Now it's Hoff teetering and just about hanging on, firing back at Rodez and almost knocking HIM to the ground. COLE They're both on the brink here. These men are one shot away from elimination, or one shot away from number one contendership!! COACH It's gutcheck time, Cole, right? COLE If...if you like. The tension is palpable, as Rodez nails Hoff with a quick boot to the gut before taking a nack-step, charging at Hoff. Seeing Rodez coming, Hoff ducks his head though, lifting up Rodez... ...TURNING TO THE CROWD... ...and dropping Rodez across the top rope with a hot-shot! Bouncing up once, Rodez manages to somehow remain hung over the top, safe from elimination. For now. As Hoff turns back, pushing the ropes forward... ...then pulling back... ...LAUNCHING RODEZ BACK... ...AND FLYING TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE DID IT! HOFF DID IT!! COACH Woah, is Rodez okay? COLE I...I think so Coach. He took one hell of a flight, but he seems to be okay. But he's not going to AngleSlam. That honour...goes to HOFF! And it'll be Hoff versus Axel at AngleSlam! Oh boy, what a match! BUFFER LEON RODEZ has been eliminated!! "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ LEFT: 15th ELIMINATED: PRL, Drek Stone ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Your winner, of Battlebowl...HOOOOOOOFFFFFF!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOFF TEH WINN0R~! ELIMINATED: Chris Stevens, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dropping to one knee, Hoff punches his fist in ecstacy as his other arm is raised in the air by referee Mark Hebner. Rodez is meanwhile being checked on by other refs, apparantly no more than a little shaken up from his back-first landing. COLE What a night! From 32 to 1 odds, Hoff is going to AngleSlam, to face the World Heavyweight Champion! From Michael Cole, Coach and that l05er Caboose, it's a rather rushed goodnight from Battlebowl, but no doubt this celebration is going to go on through the night for Hoff. What a night!
  23. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    COLE Well we are now set for the BattleBowl Main Event. But before we get to that, we have one big singles match left! COACH I've been waiting for this for a long time! It sorta just happened out of the blue last Thursday, as if it was made at the last minute, but I'm sure this has been planned for months now! CABOOSE The OAOAST is organised! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The Following NON-TITLE contest is scheduled for one fall, and is CHAMPION VERSUS CHAMPION! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! "Unleashed" by Saliva hits, and the crowd go wild! The WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Batista, soon comes through the curtain, and plays to the massive crowd. The music stops, he lays his title belt down... BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! TEH GUNZ~!~!~!~ "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" BUFFER Introducing first, from Washington D.C, weighing in tonight at three hundred seventeen pounds, he is the current World Wrestling Entertainment World Heavyweight Champion... BAAAAAAAAATIIIIIIIIIIISSSTTAAAAA! Big DAVE~! rolls into the ring and poses on the ropes with his title belt, as the crowd respond again with loud cheers. COLE Well this Pay Per View was going to be seen by millions anyway even before this match started but come on, these two guys must have added some buys. Who are we predicting here? COACH Batista actually. He's bigger, he's better, and he has THUMBS DOWN! CABOOSE Are you insane? Axel. He's our champion! Just as Caboose makes that enthralling statement, THE LIGHT GO OUT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!" CABOOSE (in a kids voice) Axel reaction was biiiiii -ggger! Suck on that Vince! BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! "Death Blooms" hits as Axel makes his way out to ringside, the OAOAST Championship shining around his waist. He stops in the middle of the ramp, points to both sides, and then strikes the Crucifix Pose, triggering a blast of pyro from the AngleTron. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing originally from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, and weighing in tonight at two hundred sixty pounds, he is the Reigning and Defending TWO TIME OAOAST World Heavyweight CHAMPION... THIS. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEEELLLLLL!!! COLE What an enthralling contest this is! COACH Batista has the strength advantage, but Axel is faster and has better endurace. CABOOSE I'm still picking our guy. He gotsa REPRESENT! *DING DING DING* Axel storms the ring and immediately goes face to face with Batista, as the two around the same height. The bell sound, and neither man moves, taking a step back.... and firing at each other with right hands at the same time! Right by Axel, Batista, Axel, Batista, knee to the midsection by Dave, Irish Whip, tries a SPINEBUST- but Axel floats over. COLE Dave Batista going for the Spinebuster early, but Axel able to counter... Boot to the stomach by Axel, the OAOAST Champion runs into the ropes, but Batista is up and knocks Axel down with a clothesline! COACH First big knockdown to Batista in this one! Batista grabs Axel and sends him for an Irish Whip, Axel comes off of the ropes, and is met by a Batista back elbow that sends him down to the mat. The OAOAST Champion is up again, clutching at his midsection, when he is hooked in a Front Face lock by Batista, and sent over for a Vertical Suplex. Cover by the World Heavyweight Champion! ONE... NO! Axel kicks out before the referee can count two. COLE Smart by Batista using his distinct power and strength advantage, he wants to end this soon. He knows that the longer the match goes, the bigger advantage Axel has, because Batista will soon be the sweatiest man in the history of the world. Axel is at his feet now, and being backed into the corner by Batista. Batista with a right hand, and then buries his shoulder into the gut of Axel not once, but twice, driving the air out of the OAOAST Champion. COACH Generic Hoss move number five by Dave! Batista with another shoulder to the gut of Axel, and then takes The Dark One out of the corner, picking him up, and drilling him with a Powerslam! Cover by Dave! ONE... TW-NO! Axel kicks out just at two. CABOOSE Batista with the early advantage, but he's tiring himself out. Its all about strategy, Axel's conserving energy, and Batista is trying to ware Axel down as much as he can. Batista picks Axel up once again, this time for what looks like a Fallaway Slam, but instead drops the OAOAST Champion ribs-first across his knee, driving the air out of him. But Batista doesnt drop Axel, he just repeats the process yet again, driving his knee into the ribs of the OAOAST Champion. Batista follows this up with another cover... ONE... TWONO! Axel kicks out at two again. Solid, SOLID knee to the stomach by Batista, followed by a hard right hand to the same area. Batista picks Axel up again, and this time basically throws him down to the ground for a modified Scoop Slam. Axel clutches at his ribs after the move, as they are being worked on fully throughout the match so far. Axel struggles to his feet, but is soon put back down by a Batista clothesline. Cover! ONE... TWOOOOOOOOONO! Axel kicks out at two again. COLE Batista is really working those ribs! COACH Maybe someone taught him some psychology! Batista decides that this is enough damage, as he puts Axel in every Hosses signature move, the dreaded, feared BEARHUG! COACH THE BEARHUG IS LOCKED IN! BATISTA WITH THE BEARHUG! Just squeezing the life out of Axel! Axel, writhing in pain, and fading, will not give up no matter how much the referee asks. Batista cranks the hold in tighter, causing Axel to yelp in pain. The OAOAST Champion begins to fade, and the referee checks his arm, raising it into the air and dropping it... but it STAYS UP! Axel with right hands to Batista out of nowhere, with a burst on energy. Batista lets go of the hold because of the solid rights, and Axel is free. COLE Axel with an adrenaline rush here! Axel with right hands and tries an Irish Whip, but Batista reverses, Axel comes off of the ropes.... HARLEM SIDE KICK knocks Batista down! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" CABOOSE Axel has a new life here! Right hands by Axel, and more, and more, but Batista is right back with a knee to the midsection. Batista runs to the ropes and tries a clothesline, Axel ducks under, Batista turns around... RUNNING ENZIGURI BY AXEL! COLE BAM! Cover by Axel!!! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Batista kicks out! Axel is up quickly, although still holding his ribs. Batista is up also, and Axel is there. Right hands, right hands getting faster and faster all the time, Axel throws at least fifteen solid rights to the forehead of Batista, before knocking him down with his patented Uppercut! COACH Axel is HOUSE EN FUEGO~!~! COLE Dames is going to kill us. Batista gets up... but EATS A LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Cover! ONE.... TWOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Batista kicks out again! Axel now signals for one of his signature moves! COLE Batista is gonna get dropped on his head here! Axel gets Big Dave in a Font Face Lock, Batista tries to fight out of it, but he can't! Axel lifts the World Heavyweight Champion up... COLE BRAINBUSTER DANGEROOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUSSS!!!! COVER! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Batista gets a shoulder up! CABOOSE Axel has his second wind here, he's hit Batista with a lot of High Impact moves in a row! One more and it could all be over! Axel grabs Batista up again and sends him for an Irish Whip, but Batista reverses! Axel flies into the ropes, ducks a Batista clothesline, tries one of his own but Batista ducks, Axel turns around.. ...SPINEBUSTER BY BATISTA! COACH YES! YES! Batista does his usual stomp up and down for the move.... BUT AXEL GETS UP! COLE What??? AXEL THATS NOT HOW YOU DO IT!!! Axel with right hands, Batista comes back with a boot to the midsection, runs to the ropes... ...SPINEBUSTAHHHHHHHH~!~! BY AXEL!!! ...But BATISTA GETS UP! COLE Both of these men completely no selling each others Spinebusters! AMAZING! Batista and Axel go face to face in the centre of the ring, the crowd buzzing around them. Axel is the first to strike with a right hand, but its Batista who is not affected as he hits another SPINEBUSTER! This time Axel is down for good! COLE Uh-oh! THUMBS UP BY BATISTA!!!!!!!!!!!! ....The thumbs start to come down... ...but whats this? Axel is up, and he has hold of one of the thumbs! COLE Batista can't get his thumbs down! COACH He's powerless without the thumbs down! CABOOSE Yes! Axel do it! Do it now! ...AXEL BREAKS BATISTAS THUMB! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!" COLE HE CAN'T THUMBS DOWN! HE'S POWERLESS! Batista clutches at his broken thymb, and Axel uses the opportunity to get Batista up in a Reverse Death Valley... ...AXEL SLAAAAAAAAAAAM! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!!" *DING DING DING* "Death Blooms" starts up as Axel is handed his OAOAST Title belt. The referee raises The Dark One's hand, and Michael Buffer makes the announcment. BUFFER Here is your winner, THE OAOAST World Heavyweight CHAMPION... AAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEELLLLL!!!! COLE In a very hard-faught bout, Axel reigns supreme! The OAOAST reigns supreme! And we still have the BattleBowl Battle Royal to come! What a night!
  24. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    COLE We're all set to get our next Battlebowl match underway! But first, fans, take a look at what Coach has in his hands! CABOOSE I bet it's his-- COACH It's this month's OAOAST Magazine, is what! And it's GREAT! There's a HAWT pictorial of the new stars of the Women's Division -- and oh yeah, some info on 'em, too! COLE Absolutely, and check out this cover -- CWM, Alfdogg, and Some Guy, and what an article on the fire still burning in the legends of this company. COACH It was great! CABOOSE And if the third-grade dropout here can handle it, you know it's an easy read. So check out the new OAOAST magazine, in stores today. COLE Let's go to Mean Gene with the drawing for the final Lethal Lottery Match!!! OKERLUND All right, thank you Michael Cole...first off, I want to thank the lovely Maria for being of assistance tonight! *crowd cheers* *Maria draws a name* OKERLUND Participating in the final match will be...THE SADIST!!! *Sadist slowly gets up and leaves the locker room.* COLE The Sadist's partner JINGUS already advancing to Battlebowl tonight! *Gene gets another envelope* OKERLUND His tag team partner...PRINCE KILLINGS!!! *Killings leaves the locker room.* *Maria draws another name* OKERLUND From the Heavenly Rockers, SYNTH ESIZER!!! *Maria draws the final name.* OKERLUND And last but certainly not least, his partner...HOFF!!! COLE Hoff the final name drawn in the Lethal Lottery! Did they save the best for last? Only time will tell! CUE: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Battlebowl qualifying match! First, making his way down the aisle, THE SADIST!!!!! The fans boo the freakish, scarred, monstrous Sadist as he ambles down the ramp. He gets a smattering of respect applause, as well. Sadist slaps himself in the head as he approaches the squared circle. COLE We haven't seen much of the Sadist lately! He's been in HI-YAH or something, I can't remember. COACH We'd have more time to research these things if people would turn their stuff in on time! CABOOSE Kayfabe...eh, you know what, screw it. Fuck everyone who can't meet a simple deadline. COLE I hear that! Sadist steps into the ring, and holds a fist into the air as his music dies down. BUFFER And his opponent.... CUE: "An Ode to Killings" COLE WHAT?! BUFFER PRRRRRRINCE KILL-INGS!!!!!!!!!!!! The fans turn UGLY as the so-called action hero steps onto the stage. Killings is surrounded by photographers, wearing a muscle shirt as he strides down the aisle. COACH DAYUM! Prince Killings is back! CABOOSE Does this guy think he actually has a chance of becoming OAOAST World Champion? COLE Well, he did say he planned to use this company to launch his career, and this is a way to make an impact! Prince Killings returning to the OAOAST. Incredible. Killings climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, looking warily at the Sadist, who turns an ugly eye to his partner for the evening. Killings steps away and looks out to the crowd, flexing his "guns" for the crowd. COACH He does have a nice physique. CABOOSE Man alive, Coachman, I don't even have to make the jokes anymore. "An Ode to Killings" fades away as Buffer once again addresses the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents this evening. First, from Las Vegas, Nevada....SYNTH ESIZER!!! The fans cheer as "Gs and Soldiers" hits the arena speakers. The hip-hop beat flows through the Synthenator's veins as he plays to the crowd. In the ring, the Sadist freaks out a little at seeing an old rival from the tag ranks. Synth points at Sadist, then turns his gaze to Prince Killings, thrusting his crotch in the Prince's general direction. Killings turns a shade of green and looks nautious. COLE Synth getting a nice, warm reaction from the Philly crowd! COACH He's no Bon Jovi but he's a hell of a rocker. CABOOSE I almost feel bad for Killings. In there with the down 'n dirty Synth Esizer and the truly odd Sadist...he must be frightened out of his wits. Killings complains to a man in a suit near ringside as Synth hits the ring. Synth hops on the apron and hops OVER the top rope, into the ring as his music dies down. BUFFER And his opponent.... *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* THE CROWD EXPLODES as "Black" blares over the arena loudspeakers, and Hoff charges out from the back!! COLE HOLY *BLEEP*!!! LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!!! Buffer tries to finish his job, but bails as a barrelling Hoff hits the ring and SPEARS Killings out of his boots! The Prince tries to cover his chiseled face, but it's to no avail as Hoff lays it on! In the midst of the chaos, the referee calls for the opening bell! *ding ding ding* Hoff sits on Killings' chest and wails away, hammering him with big right hands! COACH I don't get it! Does Hoff have something against Killings? COLE I think he's just in the mood to fight!! Sadist makes a move to pull Hoff off of his partner...but Synth steps in and forearms him in the back! Sadist turns around and shoves the Synth-a-nator away, but Synth charges right back and throws some wild fists at Sadist! Meanwhile, Killings scrambles away from Hoff and rolls to the outside, and the big man gives chase! COLE Well I have no idea WHO the legal men are, and I don't think the ref does either, but it looks like it'll be Synth and the Sadist starting off! Sadist rakes Synth in the eyes, and the Heavenly Rocker stumbles back. Sadist slaps himself as he moves in, grabbing Synth by the throat and hurling him across the ring! On the outside, Hoff whips Prince Killings into the steel ring steps, and the Prince CRIES out in pain as he goes flying into the unforgiving steel! COACH This thing is breaking loose! Someone's got to get control!! In the ring, Sadist is stomping at Synth, but Synth pulls himself up with the aid of the ropes! Hoff picks Killings up on the outside and slams him face-first into the guardrail! Synth kicks Sadist in the knee, and the big monster buckles! Suddenly, Hoff and Synth throw simultaneous clotheslines! Killings crashes to the mat, but Sadist isn't fazed by Synth's blow! COLE I think he liked it!! Indeed, Sadist squeals with glee and waves Synth on! Synth comes at him again, throwing a forearm to the face of Sadist, and Sadist smiles even as he reels backwards! Synth shouts some garbled curse word, and bounces off the ropes, coming at Sadist with a flying clothesline...but Sadist catches his foe and drops him in a SIDEWALK SLAM!! COLE Big power move by Sadist! The cover! Sadist leans into a cover! ONE, TWO, THR--NO!! Synth throws his shoulder up at the last second, causing the fans to let out a cheer. Meanwhile, Prince Killings tries to crawl away from Hoff...but the big man grabs him by the leg and SLAPS ON THE ANKLELOCK!!!! CABOOSE Oh, good lord. The audience goes BALLISTIC as Hoff wrenches on the ankle of Killings, twisting the joint at a vicious angle. Killings taps out, but being on the outside, it doesn't do much good, and Hoff just holds it on him, torquing like there's no tomorrow. In the ring, Sadist pulls Synth to his feet, but Synth thumbs him in the eye! The ref lets it go as Synth grabs Sadist by the neck and swings him over with a neckbreaker! Synth lays across Sadist into a cover, but the freakish Sadist kicks out at two! COLE And Killings is STILL in the Anklelock!! The fans are roaring as Hoff keeps twisting the ankle of Killings, shouting down at the action hero. Finally, security tries to pull Hoff off, but Hoff just turns, dropping the leg of Killings and DESTROYING the guards with big clotheslines! Killings tries to slowly crawl away...but Hoff grabs him and REAPPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!! CABOOSE How long is he gonna keep that thing on?! Synth, in the ring, pulls Sadist up. He hooks him up for PERCUSSION...but Sadist barrels forward and squashes Synth into the corner! Sadist backs up as Synth collapses, and hits himself in the face yet again before throwing Synth Esizer by the hair into the centre of the ring! COLE Sadist just threw a man by the hair! That's not right! CABOOSE It's Ruutu's fault for being such a woman! COACH Whatever, RISHI!! CABOOSE !!! You son of a.... As Caboose ATTAX Coachman, Sadist grabs Synth and sets him up for a powerbomb! Sadist grabs Synth by the waist... *WHAM* And Sadist gets nailed in the back of the head by a HUGE clothesline from Hoff! Prince Killings lays clutching his mangled ankle as Hoff stands in the ring...but Sadist remains unfazed! The monster lets Synth go, and the rocker rolls out of harm's way as Sadist turns around....into ANOTHER clothesline, and this one sends him down! The fans cheer as Sadist gets back up, and walks right into another clothesline! COLE Hoff is on fire tonight! The fans cheer and chant Hoff's name as the big man pulls the monstrous Sadist up and whips him, but Sadist reverses and sends Hoff into the ropes! Hoff comes flying off, and hits a HUGE lariat that knocks Sadist to his back!! Hoff wastes no time pulling the Sadist to his feet, and sending him into the ropes!! Sadist comes in, Hoff catches him, and drills him with a SPIIIIIIIIIIIINE-BUSTAAAAAAAAAH~!!!!! Hoff pops up to his feet and slashes his arms as the fans go WILD!!! COLE GOOD LORD! Hoff has been UNLEASHED upon this arena!! Hoff's eyes are afire as he grabs Sadist and pulls him up...but he doesn't see Killings on the outside! As Synth pulls himself up in one corner, Killing's corner man helps him to his feet and hands him a chair! COACH Aw, come on! CABOOSE Hey, this is the first good thing Killings has done all night. Killings limps into the ring as Hoff hooks Sadist for the FUTURE SHOCK, and Prince sneaks behind the big man! Killings winds up...but Hoff turns in time to see it coming and ducks the swing! Killings gets nothing but air, spinning himself in the process! He turns around...right into the boot of Synth Esizer!! COLE Synth was there waiting! Synth grabs the doubled-over Killings by the head, and hits him with PERCUSSION!!!! The fans EXPLODE!! COACH DAYUM~! Synth has finished the job on Prince Killings! COLE Not a good night for the movie star--hey, wait, LOOK OUT! Hoff smiles at his partner, then turns around, and the Sadist grabs him b the throat!! The crowd draws a sharp breath, but Hoff grabs the offending arm, pulls it off of his throat, and yanks the Sadist toward him, catching him with the SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!! CABOOSE Man, this guy is unstoppable!! The fans fins their feet as Hoff stalks the Sadist from behind. Sadist woozily gets up, and Hoff grabs his head, hooking him in a reverse facelock!! COLE Can he get the over 300-pound Sadist up?! Hoff rears back....and hoists the Sadist up!! Flashbulbs go off across the arena as Hoff HOLDS his massive opponent to the rafters! Synth points to the ceiling...then down as Hoff DROPS the Sadist on his head with the FUTURE SHOCK!!! CABOOSE I don't care how much you like pain...you ain't getting up from that. Hoff rolls onto the Sadist and hooks the leg! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* BUFFER The winners of this bout....SYNTH ESIZER and HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!! "Black" hits as Hoff stands up, and the referee raises the hand of both he and Synth. The two tag partners shake hands, knowing they'll see each other later tonight. COLE Well, they didn't do much teamwork, but they made one hell of a team! Hoff and Synth Esizer advance to the Battlebowl battle royal! CABOOSE Man, Killings got WRECKED. EMTs hit the scene and tend to the Prince, as well as Sadist, as Hoff and Synth head up the ramp. Synth spares a wave for the audience as Hoff keeps his head down, stepping through the curtain. Logan follows after throwing up the horns, popping the crowd one last time. COLE Well Hoff, the odds-on favorite, showed he is here to take care of business. Synth showed he was for real as well. Could one of these two men be our next #1 contender? We'll find out later tonight! But up next, it's our World Heavyweight championship match!! The Battlebowl rolls on!!
  25. alfdogg

    OAOAST Battlebowl 2005

    OKERLUND OK, we've got 8 more names to go here, and one of them is...CHRIS STEVENS!!! *Stevens makes his way from the locker room.* *Maria draws another name.* OKERLUND His partner...CABOOSE!!! *Maria draws another name.* OKERLUND Their opponents include...JAMES BLONDE!!! *Blonde high-fives Faqu before leaving the locker room.* *Maria draws another name.* OKERLUND FAQU!!! *A jubilant Faqu rushes out of the locker room after his partner.* COLE WHOA! What luck here, regular tag partners get to team together for Battlebowl! COACH Yeah, but it may not help them when you consider their opponents! BUFFER The following contest is our next Battlebowl qualifier! COLE Good to know. CABOOSE I wonder what slugs we're gonna see next. *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! I really wanna know WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! BUFFER First, from Rochester, Minnesota, weighing in at 221 pounds....CHRRRRRIS STEEEEEEEVENS!!! The Who's classic rock track blares, and the fans jeer as CHRIS STEVENS steps onto the stage. Taped all across his ribs and arms, the CSI leader walks gingerly down the aisle, the effects of his brawl with Peter Knight still showing. CABOOSE MY MAN! Stevens scowls at fans as he walks to the ring, pulling his arm away from an eager young fan. The wily veteran climbs the ring steps and enters the squared circle, holding out his arms and jawing with the jeering masses. CABOOSE Man, these people show the man no respect. Whoever gets to partner with Chris Stevens should feel honored. "Who Are You" dies down, replaced by another familiar song -- "Cochise" by Audioslave. CABOOSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUFFER And his partner, from Derby, England, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is the Voice of Reason in the OAOAST....CAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE~!! COLE Oh my God! Slowly, in a daze, Caboose slides his headset off and stands up. The fans are RAUCOUS, cheering the controversial commentator as he looks around the arena! In the ring, Stevens looks down with a smile, applauding his partner for the evening. COLE I can't believe it, but these people are going NUTS for Caboose! COACH Go for it, Boo-boo! The cheers are yours tonight, buddy! Caboose, the former two-time champion, looks fresh out of the dojo as he walks around the announce table. With a grin, Chris Stevens sits on the second rope, holding the cables open for the legendary superstar. Caboose slowly climbs onto the apron, then steps through the cables, looking at Chris with a ridiculous grin on his face. Caboose steps forward, to the center of the ring, wide-eyed as a kid in a candy store. COLE I don't think Caboose expected this! Caboose looks starstruck, even, until Stevens pats him on the shoulder from behind. Caboose turns, and Stevens extends a hand, which Caboose looks down at before taking. The two shake hands, popping the hell out of the crowd, before Stevens makes a gesture to the corner. Looking at it with starry eyes, Caboose walks to the turnbuckle, climbing to the second rope and holding his arms out with a grin. Flashbulbs fire off all across the arena, and the fans break out in a chant-- "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! " "Cochise" finally quiets down as 'Boozy climbs off the apron, and stands next to Stevens. COLE I can't believe this. BUFFER And their opponents... "Spirit In the Sky" kicks in over the arena speakers, prompting a nice little cheer as James Blonde and Faqu step onto the stage! BUFFER JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU!!! Blonde and Faqu don't look so hot as the walk down the aisle. In fact, "walk" isn't the right word for Faqu, who looks in a great deal of pain as he limps, a bulky knee brace around one knee. Blonde's a bit better off, but much like Stevens, his rbs are heavily bandaged. COLE Not looking good for the dojo grads here. COACH At the Great Angle Bash, Christian Wright and Bohemoth did a hell of a number on both these guys. I'm surprised they're making it out here tonight! Blonde and Faqu talk as the walk down the aisle...but look up as they se Chris Stevens barrelling down the aisle! COLE Hey...what the hell! Caboose looks on in a haze as his partner gets the jump on their foes, clubbing Blonde in the head with a forearm! The fans jeer as Blonde flies into the railing. Stevens turns to Faqu, who nails him with a SAMOAN THRUSTING BLOW...but it barely fazes Stevens, who snaps a kick to the KNEE of Faqu! The big guy goes down, crying in pain as he grabs his leg. Stevens looks down with a smile, then turns back to Blonde, who throws a shot to Stevens' forehead! The fans cheer as James Blonde tries to rally back, but Stevens stops it with a well-placed knee to the gut! Chris grabs Blonde's head, spins him around, and smashes him into the steel guardrail! Blonde bounces back, and Stevens hooks his arms from behind! The fans cringe as Stevens turns him around...and drops him with an UNPRETTIER!! COACH Chris Stevens is making short work of Blonde and Faqu! The CSI leader gets up with a smirk, and turns back to Faqu, who still holds his leg in pain. Stevens smiles as he stomps at the knee, drawing blood-curdling shouts of pain from the Samoan! COLE This isn't right! Blonde and Faqu are in no condition to fight! Stevens picks Faqu up by the hair and drags him down the aisle, tossing him into the ring under the bottom rope. Caboose looks at his opponent in near-wonder, still in shock over his entry into the Battlebowl and his partnership with the hottest star in primetime. And wouldn't you be? Stevens climbs into the ring abd pulls Faqu up, holding hin by the face until he steps back and fires off a SUPERKICK, knocking Faqu back....into the waiting arms of Caboose, who scoops the big man up! The fans EXPLODE! COLE OH MY! Caboose has got Faqu up! What power! COACH What's he gonna do here?! Caboose sets Faqu onto his shoulder, and Stevens points at his partner with both hands, smiling as Caboose drops Faqu with the EMERALD FUSION!!! COLE WHOA!! The fans cheer as Caboose hits his signature finisher on the big Samoan! Caboose rolls onto his back, draping his shoulders across Faqu's body as the ref registers the count! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this bout, moving onto the Battle Royal....CHRIS STEVENS AND CA-BOOOOOOOOSE!!! The fans go wild as the ref raises Caboose's arm. Stevens forces the ref aside, and does it himself, prompting an unexpected swell of cheers. COLE Love Stevens or hate him, this is a cool moment. COACH F'real. Chris Stevens is one of Caboose's favorites, and I know Stevens respects Caboose's abilities and legend. COLE How do you know that? COACH Hey, I know things. I can handle things. I'm smart. Not like what everybody says....like dumb....I'm smart and I want respect. COLE Buh? In any event, Stevens and our own Caboose move on to the battle royal at the end of the night! Stevens exits the ring as Caboose slides out and heads back to Sofa Central. CABOOSE Gentlemen. COLE A little surprised in there, 'Boozy? CABOOSE I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't even break a sweat. COACH That's true. COLE So will Caboose, our own colleague, become a three-time OAOAST champion? He may get the chance! CABOOSE You're damn right I will. COLE We've got more Battlebowl action coming...right now!
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