alfdogg

Fairweather fandom seems to be most noticeable in the state of Florida, though. The Miami Heat is another great example. A year after winning the NBA title, they hovered just above the .500 mark for a while (still more than good enough to make the playoffs in the East), and those arenas were half full, if that, during the regular season. Both the Rays' and Marlins' stadiums are frequently close to empty, as well (though in the case of the latter, I can't really blame the fans for not giving their money to the people who run that franchise). Apologies if I offend any of our Floridians, but that's just something I've noticed over the years. I suppose there's a lot more to do at night in Florida though than in, say, Sacramento.

BTW, we'll be going old-school for the main event and using the old WWF blue-bar cage.

Also, for future reference, the Chamber is made of the old-school blue bar cages used by the WWF, except the bars are black, much like the cage used by Steve Austin and Vince McMahon at St. Valentine's Day Massacre. The bars are then wrapped entirely with barbed wire.

I picked up the 93-97 portion of the Rumble anthology today, and something odd I noticed was that they dubbed another theme over the Orient Express's theme at the 91 and 92 Rumbles, but kept it in for the Japanese guy in the 96 Rumble. Also, Vader is wearing his singlet backwards.

Ed and KC take over from here. [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg makes his way to the ring, carrying a mic. COLE And here comes Alfdogg, who came up short this past Sunday in his bid to become a three-time OAOAST World champion! COACH Yeah, and PRL lucks out once again! Alf is probably out here to demand a rematch, let's see if PRL has the guts to give it to him after escaping by the skin of his teeth! Alf climbs into the ring, and paces around it as the music dies down. ALF I'm gonna make this short and sweet. If you people watched Zero Hour this past Sunday, then you'll know why I'm out here. This past Sunday, I once again had the World title in my grasp, when Tha Puerto Rican fluked his way to another "victory". *crowd boos* COACH Tell 'em, Alf! ALF I mean, PRL is like the bizarro version of the Ohio State Buckeyes. When he gets to the big match, every ball bounces his way, and he can seemingly do no wrong. *crowd boos* ALF So, just for the record, PRL has never picked up a legitimate, decisive win over me. And based on that, I'm out here to ask Josie Baker to come to this ring, and grant me a rematch at the Halloween Spectacular. COACH Yeah! I'm down with that, son! COLE This doesn't happen often, but I agree with you, Coach! I'd love to see another main event with these two squaring off! Alf stands in the middle of the ring, and stares into the entryway, as Josie Baker eventually comes out. COACH Here she comes, Cole! Josie climbs into the ring, and grabs a mic, then walks up to Alf. JOSIE Alf, I listened to your comments, and I have to take issue with your statements. *crowd cheers* JOSIE Despite the circumstances of the matches, the fact is that PRL has pinned you at our past two pay-per-view events. *the crowd cheers, as Alf starts to complain to Josie.* JOSIE Just a second, just a second...I didn't say I was ignoring the circumstances, Alf. Fact is, I watched the match very closely on Sunday, and based on your performance and the manner in which the match ended...I agree with you, that you deserve another chance at the World title. COACH All right! Alf smiles, and looks to the crowd, nodding in approval. JOSIE So, as President of the OAOAST...

Earl Watson, G, THUNDERRRRRRRRRRR

Matt doesn't get jokes.

I sent that segment to you, so you can go ahead and post it if you're ready.

Great job on the intro. Funny stuff. Bosley is really hyped for the Chamber. Eight hos? Very exciting ladder match. Nonstop action with plenty of sick spots. The Zack/Moneymaker segment, predictably, was amazing. Alison's return was indeed a huge shock. Can't wait to see where that leads. Watch out for Faqu in that Chamber match. Nice little women's match, as Jade does it again. I wonder how long she can last. I would so buy that game. But, no Tony Tourettes? Boo! Boiler Room Brawl was excellent. Big win for Bo, having to fight off two guys in the end. Heat getting himself psyched for the Chamber. Funny segment with Bosley. Great stuff as usual from Patty with Krista/Mr. Dick. I've gotta say, Mr. Dick hasn't looked too hot since walking away from the Gunslingers...first losing the big blowoff to Baron, and now falling to Krista. He's in need of a shot in the arm, I think. Speaking of which, Simon didn't do much to impress the "Messiah" here. Nice win for Leon. And I just remembered that I didn't actually announce the HD main event as I said I would, but KC mentioned it during the match, and it's now in the booking thread. MOTN: Boiler Room Brawl LOTN: "JEALOUS? Of YOU? Now, why, Zackary, would a man of MY stature have to be jealous of you? I can afford the clothes you wear. I have more God given talent in my billion dollar body than you could learn with twenty years of wrestling training. I can get a better looking girl any night of the week than your little trollup at home, and don't have to worry about them being damaged goods like yours became when she popped out your hellspawn!" - Mr. Moneymaker

Me too.

Me too.

Official now. Steel Cage match Leon Rodez vs Reject

I hope RAW's ratings can hold up with all you guys going out.

Somebody in the comments section said if you cover up the "Thunder" on Durant's jersey and look at him from the chest up, he looks like he's wearing a Golden State Warriors jersey. He does, too.

Nothing screams West Coast like the Atlanta Braves.

Kenyon Martin, F

Two huge matches will be announced this week on HD.

The Chamber match is done~! Also, I sent Ed a PM on Saturday asking him how he was coming on his portion of the ME, and never got a response. I had already wrote the match up, but Ed wanted to write some more stuff in the middle. If nothing's in by the time the show is ready to go up, I'll just send in the match I wrote.

Sandman stands in a corner, as Heat pulls himself to his feet. The two stare across the ring at each other, as the crowd noise escalates. COLE And this is what it had to come down to! After what Sandman and the Deadly Alliance did to Colombian Heat, now Heat has a chance for revenge! COACH Quit living in a fairy tale world, Cole! This is Sandman's environment! Heat has no chance! Heat meets Sandman in mid-ring, and the two slug it out! COLE And here we go! Sandman gets the better of the exchange, then tosses Heat to the outside. COACH See that? Heat's emotions are getting the better of him! He's not going to win a slugfest with Sandman! Sandman grabs Heat around the waist, and shoves him back-first into the Chamber wall! COLE And Sandman going right after that injured back! Sandman rams Heat into the wall once again, then picks up the steel steps, and slams them onto his back! COLE Oh wow, those steel steps right onto that back! Sandman rolls Heat back inside, and stomps away at him. Sandman waits for Heat to get up, then backs into the ropes, and charges at him with a YAKUZA KICK~!...but Heat ducks, then drives Sandman into the mat with the BONG HIT~! COLE Heat scores with the Bong Hit! 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat climbs to the top rope, then waits for Sandman to get to his feet, and hits him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COLE And a missile dropkick! Heat comes to his feet with a SPINAROONI~!, but sinks back to one knee holding his back. COACH :lol: What an idiot! Sandman gets to his feet, then hooks Heat...and executes the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And there's the Archangel's Wings! But Sandman can't cover! Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, then Sandman scoots over, and drapes an arm over... 1... 2... 3!!! ... NO!!! Heat gets the shoulder up! COACH Come [i]on,[/i] ref! COLE Heat getting the shoulder out of there at the last split second! Sandman pulls himself to his feet, then spots the iron laying on the mat. He picks it up, then torches it back up. COLE And now Sandman with that red-hot iron! Sandman approaches Heat, and tries to force the iron INTO HIS FACE, but Heat grabs Sandman's wrists with his hands, and keeps it away! COLE Sandman was going to drive that iron right into Heat's face! After a long struggle, Heat drives both feet up into Sandman's gut! He then pulls himself up, and clotheslines Sandman, then kicks his legs apart, and picks up the iron, as the crowd begins to groan. COACH Oh, you gotta be kidding me! Heat drives the iron down, as Sandman manages to avoid this grizzly fate with a backwards somersault, then floors Heat with a flying forearm! COACH Phew! COLE And lucky for Sandman there, he was able to roll out of the way! Sandman then grabs the barbed-wire chair, and raises it above his head...but as he does, Heat JAMS THE IRON INTO HIS MIDSECTION~! COACH Oh no! Heat rolls up Sandman in a small package! 1... 2... NO! Sandman kicks out! COLE Heat ALMOST had it right there! Heat picks up Sandman, and delivers the PIMP JUICE~! He then grabs the barbed-wire chair, and CRACKS it over the head of Sandman! COLE And a MASSIVE chair shot! COACH ...I can't believe I'm saying this, but it doesn't look good for Sandman right now! Heat climbs to the top rope with his back to Sandman...and flies off with STRAIGHT FROM DA STREET~!!! COLE Heat with his Sky Twister Press! 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COACH All RIGHT! Can you believe this, Cole? COLE What tremendous fighting spirit shown by both of these two competitors! Heat gets to his knees and puts his hands over his head, then crawls over to the iron. He picks it up, and approaches Sandman, waiting for him to get to his feet. He takes a big swing with the iron, but Sandman ducks, then hooks him, and drives him with a URINAGI INTO THE CACTUS~! COACH And still mounting an offense! This guy is great! Sandman keeps his arm over Heat... 1... 2... NO!!! Heat gets the shoulder up! COLE And Heat not to be outdone, Coach! COACH But Heat was the last guy to enter! Sandman's been out there the whole match! COLE And if Sandman does go on to win this, he would be the first person to start the Chamber of Hell match in the ring, and come out the winner! Sandman then grabs the iron, raises it in the air, and BURIES IT INTO THE CHEST OF HEAT~! COLE OH MY GOD~!!! Sandman with the iron RIGHT INTO THE HEART of Colombian Heat. Heat lays shaking on the mat, as Sandman drags him into a corner, and sets up the big ladder. Sandman then hops to the outside, and slides out a tray resting underneath his trash bin, pulling out a STEEL CHAIR WITH LIGHTTUBES FUSED ONTO IT! COLE Oh my. COACH And look at that chair, Cole, a Sandman specialty! Sandman slides the chair into the ring, then begins to climb the ladder. He gains his balance at the very top of the giant ladder...and comes off with a VAN TERMINATOR OFF THE TOP OF THE GIANT LADDER~!!! COLE And the lighttubes shattering in the face of Colombian Heat, thanks to that Van Terminator from the top of that huge ladder! [size=3][b]HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~![/SIZE][/B] Sandman gets to his feet, then grabs Heat by the arm, and picks him up, then scoops him up onto his shoulders in a reverse fireman's carry...before shifting him, and planting him with the PSYCHO DRIVAH~!!!!!11111 COLE And the PSYCHO DRIVAH~! Sandman covers... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! COLE And MERCIFULLY, it's over! Sandman9000 has retained the Heartland title! BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] The referee drapes the belt across Sandman's waist as [i]People = Shit[/i] plays. COLE A gallant effort on the part of six of the bravest, toughest men in our business. Bodies mangled! Blood, sweat and tears shed! Careers, possibly lives, changed forever! But in the end, the result is the same! Sandman9000, STILL the OAOAST Heartland champion! Sandman leans over the middle rope, holding his belt into the camera and giving a deep stare. SANDMAN Still Deadly. COACH Haha! That says it all, Cole! Sandman rolls out of the ring, and Alfdogg is waiting for him as he's let out of the Chamber. Alf raises his hand, then helps him to the back. Meanwhile, Heat starts to stir in the ring, then crawls to the ropes and comes to his feet, to a rousing ovation. COLE And this crowd showing its appreciation for the runner-up, Colombian Heat, as well! Heat seemed so close to finally unseating Sandman9000 at times during this match, but it was not to be on this night! The Sandman9000 era will march on! Let's go to...

*graphic* The crowd goes CRAZY~! COLE And it's that time of year again, Coach! Six men walk in to the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell, one will walk out with Sandman's Heartland title, but they will all walk out with their careers having been changed! Let's go to the video package! [quote]A new music video starts up, done to the tune of Lay it on the Line by Triumph. COLE (voiceover) Six men enter, six careers will be changed forever, but one will walk out with the OAOAST Heartland title! As the opening guitar strums play, several camera angles of the Chamber are shown, followed by the faces of Bosley, Brock, Faqu, Strutter, Heat, and Sandman. The video then cuts to archive footage. [i]It's the same old story, all over again...[/i] Alf, Brock, Thunderkid and Reject are all shown sizing up the Chamber. [i]You turn a lover, into just another friend...[/i] Clips of Alf executing a belly-to-belly on Colombian Heat, and Reject hitting the Eulogy on TK. [i]I want to love you, I want to make you mine...[/i] Clips of Alf, Stevens, TK, Brock, Felix and Sandman holding the HL title belt. [i]...won't you, Lay it on the Line?[/i] Clips of TK and Reject delivering a double drop toe hold, sending Brock face-first into a barbed-wire board, then Brock delivering an F-Stunner-5 to Gunner Sharps on said board. The drums kick in harder, as various weapon shots are shown. [i]I'm tired of playing, all your foolish games...[/i] Clip of Alf pointing the finger at Reject as his cell lowers. [i]I'm tired of all your lies, makin' me insane...[/i] Clip of Mike Guerriero hitting the Final Judgment on Alf, then grieving over Alf's foot on the rope. [i]I don't ask for much, the truth will do just fine...[/i] JINGUS delivering a Clawslam to Cuban Wall through a table, and TK hitting a Swanton Bomb on Guerriero while wearing a chest protector covered in thumbtacks. [i]...won't you, Lay it on the LINE![/i] As the drumroll takes us into the chorus, a clip is shown of Alf hitting the Five-Star Alf splash from one of the raised cells some 16 feet in the air onto JINGUS. [i]Lay it on the Line![/i] Colombian Heat with the Colombian Necktie to Reject on the barbed-wire board. [i]Lay it on the Line...[/i] Alf falling through a stack of tables outside the ring, after hanging on the side of the Chamber. [i]Lay it on the LINE...[/i] Brock dropping Reject crotch-first onto a cactus. [i]...don't waste my time![/i] Shot of Alf posing on the buckles, then Brock doing his dance, then TK posing, then Sandman ripping off his bandages. [i]You got no right...to make me wait...[/i] Alf applying the Sharpshooter to Brock, then the Five-Star Alf Splash to TK. [i]We better talk girl, before it gets too late...[/i] Brock delivering an F-Stunner-5 to Reject, then a belly-to-belly on Alf. [i]I never ever thought you, could be so unkind...[/i] TK with a bicycle kick on Alf, then a tope con hilo to Mike Guerriero. [i]...won't you, Lay it on the LINE![/i] Drum beat into the chorus, as Sandman executes a Van Terminator off of a ladder through a barbed-wire board with Strutter behind it. [i]Lay it on the LINE![/i] Brock gives Alf a shot with a barbed wire chair. [i]Lay it on the line...[/i] Cuban Wall hits Reject with a jousting stick wrapped in barbed wire. [i]Lay it on the LINE...[/i] Gunner Sharps rams Brock Ausstin into the steel steps as Brock is trapped in a shopping cart. [i]...don't waste my time![/i] All participants shown with bloody, pained looks on their faces. The guitar solo features several weapon shots and finishers. [i]You know I love you, (you know I love you!) you know it's true...[/i] Heat hits a Pele Kick on Alf, and Strutter hits the Thunder Bay Throttle on Sandman. [i]It's up to you, girl, now what've I got to do...[/i] Mike Guerriero rakes TK's head across the Chamber wall, and Brock does the same to Gunner. [i]Don't hold me up, girl, don't waste my precious time...[/i] TK hits the Thunderbolt DDT on Alf, then Brock with a press slam on TK. [i]...won't you, Lay it on the LINE![/i] Alf is wearing a Power Glove, and applies a clawhold onto Guerriero. [i]Lay it on the LINE![/i] TK and Reject deliver the Thunderous Rejection to JINGUS. [i]Lay it on the Line (Lay it on the Line, girl!)...[/i] Alf throws flaming dodgeballs at various participants. [i]Lay it on the LINE![/i] Sandman delivers the Psycho Drivah to Strutter. [i]Lay it on the Line (Lay it on the Li-ine!)...[/i] Reject delivers the Pitch Black onto a barbed-wire chair. [i]Lay it on the LINE...[/i] Several shots of combatants are shown, the last being a shot of Alf holding the belt following a Chamber match. [i]...don't waste my time![/i] Sandman is shown celebrating a victory with the belt as the video fades out.[/quote] The camera cuts to the back, where Sandman9000 emerges from the locker room and heads to the ring. COLE Yes, lay it on the line, that's what Sandman9000 is about to do, and that's what five other combatants are about to do, in the Chamber of Hell, all for the sake of that belt around Sandman's waist, the OAOAST Heartland title! Cut back to the arena, as the Chamber lowers, with strobes flashing around it like crazy. COACH Here it comes, Cole! COLE The chamber is lowering, and it is lowering around Michael Buffer, who is waiting in the ring, let's go up there! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER [i]LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...this match, is one of our main attractions of Zero Hour 2008! Tonight, six of the roughest, toughest men in the world, will battle it out in this Chamber, standing 24 feet off the ground, and engulfed in barbed wire. Four men will start out in these 8 x 5 cells, which will then be raised to the ceiling of the chamber, while two men start in the ring. Each cell contains a bag with a mystery weapon, which will be brought into the match. Every five minutes, a cell will lower at random, and another man will enter the frey, until one man is left standing, and that man will be the OAOAST Heartland champion! ARE YOU READY?[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]Cleveland, Ohio...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYYOUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]Then for the thousands in attendance here in Cleveland, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] The crowd continues to cheer, as [i]In the Air Tonight[/i] by Nonpoint plays, and the crowd begins to boo as Detective Tango Bosley walks through the curtains, dragging a trashcan full of goodies with him, then lighting a cigarette as he stops in the entryway. COLE And the Enterprise represented in the Chamber this year, as Tango Bosley makes his way out! BUFFER [i]Coming to the ring at this time...he hails from Miami, Florida, and weighs in at 265 pounds! Representing the Enterprise...DETECTIVE TANNNNNNNGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY YYYYY!!!!![/i] Bosley stops at the door, then tosses his smoke down and stomps it out, before entering the Chamber, and making his way to his cell along with his trashcan. He reaches into his bag, and pulls out a motorcycle helmet covered in thumbtacks! COACH Whoa-ho! COLE I don't think anyone will be attempting any head-to-head collisions with Detective Bosley in this match! Bosley looks at the helmet, and grins, as his cell rises. As it reaches the ceiling, a cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." Brock's music hits, and he appears in the entryway, doing his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! BUFFER [i]From Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 290 pounds..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!![/i] COLE Two-time Heartland champion, and the man with the most experience in this match, he's been in two of the three previous Chamber matches! Brock walks down the aisle, then enters the door and hops onto the apron, yanking back on the ropes and causing pyro to explode from all four corners. COACH WHOA! And another point of significance, this is the first Chamber match which will not feature Alfdogg or Thunderkid, the only two men to appear in all of the first three Chambers! COLE And Alf, of course, winning the first two, Sandman winning it last year, looking to duplicate Alf's feat, and in even more impressive fashion, as he has not relinquished the title since winning it in last year's Chamber! COACH Let's see what Brock's got here... Brock pulls from his bag a croquet set. COACH What in the world...? COLE Well, like we said, Brock the veteran of this match, I'm sure he'll find a use for it! Brock's cell starts to raise, as [i]King Kong[/i] by LA Symphony hits, and Faqu makes his way through the curtains. COACH I just noticed too, there's a sledgehammer on the end of that croquet mallet! BUFFER [i]From the Aisle of Samoa, weighing in at 301 pounds...he is one-third of the OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions..."THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"...FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!![/i] COACH Fuck you too, Buffer! COLE ...he said FAQU, who is representing Cucaracha International in this match! Faqu pounds on his chest, as he looks up at the Chamber, then enters and makes his way to his cell, opening his bag to find it full of California Raisins figures. COACH :wtf: COLE Well, you never know what you'll find in one of those bags, it looks like Faqu got himself a dud! COACH Fuck that, son! Them figures are worth some good money, and the OAOAST just gives them away for this match??? Faqu screams at the back as his cell raises. COACH Don't harm the figures, Faqu! I got some big money I'll be willing to pay you for those after the match! The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. COLE And here comes the Heat! [b]"COME ON!" *BOOM~!*[/b] The crowd explodes, as does the pyro, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Colombian Heat rushes out onto the stage, getting the crowd fired up. Heat jogs slowly to both sides of the entrance stage and fires that section of the arena up. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. BUFFER [i]From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 180 pounds...COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOMBIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AT!!!!![/i] COLE And the last time we saw Colombian Heat, he was losing the United States championship to Alfdogg, passing out in Alf's Sharpshooter! His back severely scarred, and even after the rest he was given by OAOAST President Josie Baker for this match, he still does not look to be moving at 100%! COACH Heat has got no chance in this match, Cole! None! Heat looks up at the Chamber, then turns around and throws up the "W" sign with his hands, before entering and making his way to his cell. He opens his bag, pulling out an iron and an ironing board. He looks confused, then digs in deeper to find a blowtorch! COLE And Heat getting a nice bag! Heat's cell raises to the ceiling. COLE And now we know who will be starting this match, and it will be the two men who finished this match last year! BUFFER [i]And now, introducing the two men who will start off this match.[/i] [i]Tom Sawyer[/i] by Rush hits, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter, riding a moose which is pulling a stable behind him, makes his way out, getting a nice ovation from the crowd. COACH What in the world is this? Is that a moose? COLE Sure is! Strutter dismounts the moose, then heads to the back of the stable, opening the door...and pulling out the CACTUS~! COACH Oh, no! COLE I knew something was missing from this match! BUFFER [i]From Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R!!!!![/i] COLE Another two-time Heartland champion, and as long as it's been, he was the last man to hold the Heartland title before Sandman won it one year ago today! Strutter shoves the cactus into the ring, and props it up in a corner, as the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER [i]And, from South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] Sandman pulls behind him a garbage bin full of assorted weapons, and parks them next to the ring apron, then climbs into the ring, and removes his bandages. COLE And we are about ready to go here! Sandman and Strutter get settled in opposing corners, and the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go! Sandman and Strutter meet in the middle of the ring, then begin to exchange fists, with Sandman getting the better of the exchange. COACH And a mistake right away by Strutter, he's not gonna win a slugfest with Sandman! Sandman sets up an Irish whip, but Strutter reverses, the drops down. He leapfrogs Sandman, then reverse leapfrogs him, then meets him with a drop toehold! Strutter then hops up, and drops an elbow to the back of his head! COLE But very quick, perhaps the quickest man in this match, is "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Strutter grabs Sandman, and rams his head into the buckles, then whips him across, but Sandman gets a foot up! COLE But Sandman showing some quickness of his own there, getting the foot up! Sandman follows up with a running sleeperhold drop, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman picks up Strutter, and executes a snap suplex, then goes to the outside and goes through his garbage bin. COLE And Sandman already going for some weapons! Sandman pulls out a kendo stick, and tosses it into the ring. He then slides a STOP sign in, before rolling inside with a trash can, and dumping the contents out. He makes his way towards Strutter, but Strutter catches him with another drop toehold, sending him face-first into his own trashcan! COACH Oh no! COLE Sandman sent right into his own weapon with a drop toehold! Strutter then makes his way over to the kendo stick, and holds it up in the air, as the crowd cheers him on. He then brings it down across the back of Sandman! COLE And Felix with the kendo stick to the back! He lets Sandman pull himself to his feet, then brings it across his upper back and shoulders! He then backs him into a corner, still holding the stick, and whips him across, then catches him coming out with the stick to the gut! He then hooks him in a standing headscissors... COLE Could be the Thunder Bay Throttle! However, as he starts to hook the arms, Sandman trips him up, and slingshots him into the corner! He then grabs the stick, and drills Felix right on top of the head! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE Kendo stick right to the head of Felix Strutter! Sandman stops to catch his breath, then tosses Strutter to the outside. He picks up Strutter, and attempts to ram in face-first into the side of the Chamber, but Strutter blocks. COLE And now both men trying to force the other's face into the barbed-wire covered Chamber wall! After a struggle, Sandman goes to the eyes of Strutter, then starts raking his face across the wall! COLE And it's Felix, the first one to taste the barbed wire in this match! Felix sinks to the floor, examining the blood from the cut caused by the barbed wire, then Sandman picks him up and whips him into the steel steps! COLE And the already bloodied Felix Strutter tasting the steel steps! Sandman rolls Strutter back inside, then climbs the steps and follows him in. He lays the STOP sign across Strutter's body, then climbs to the top, and hits him with a senton bomb! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman rolls to the outside, and pulls a ladder out from underneath the ring! COACH Here we go! COLE Sandman gonna climb the ladder here! Sandman pushes the ladder into the ring, then drags the cactus over to where Strutter is laying. He picks Strutter up, then lays the cactus down, and lays Strutter on top of it. He goes to the other side of the ladder, then begins to climb it. COLE Sandman going for something big here... COACH And this could be then end of Felix early if he hits this! Sandman goes for a SWANTON BOMB from the ladder...but Felix moves, and Sandman hits ALL CACTUS~! COACH Oh NO! COLE And Sandman finds nothing but cactus! Sandman rolls forward to his knees on impact, then falls to his stomach, as the crowd groans. Felix pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, then picks Sandman up, and executes a teardrop suplex onto the cactus! COLE And once again onto the cactus! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman crawls across the ring, and grabs a cookie sheet, as Strutter follows and grabs him by his leg. As Strutter attempts to pick up Sandman, Sandman whacks him on the head with the cookie sheet! COLE Cookie sheet to the face of Felix Strutter! Sandman then tosses Strutter into the corner, and executes BOOT SCRAPES, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Strutter ducks a clothesline, and they clothesline each other! COLE Double clothesline! COACH Just in time for another entry, Cole! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

Faqu gets to his feet and slaps on his chest, then roars, before Heat rolls back inside and hits him with a PELE KICK~!, sending him through the ropes to the floor! COLE But there's Colombian Heat with the Pele Kick! Sandman comes at Heat with a clothesline, but Heat ducks, and hits Sandman with the PELE KICK~!, as well! COLE And one for Sandman! Heat backs into the ropes, and hits the SHAKY LEGS KNEEDROP~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat grabs the barbed-wire chair, then grabs Sandman in a headlock, but Sandman lifts him, and drops him onto the chair with a back suplex! COACH Yeah! Great move, Sandman! COLE Heat right down on his injured back on that barbed-wire chair! Heat rolls around on the mat in pain, as Sandman gets to his feet, then drops a knee to the back! He turns Heat over, and covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Faqu rolls back inside, and hammers Sandman from behind, then rams him into the buckle, before going to work on Heat. He lays in chops, but Heat slugs back! COLE And look at Heat fight back! A slugfest ensues, with Faqu getting the best of it, before Heat punts him RIGHT IN THE NUTS~! COACH Look at that cheap shot! COLE There aren't any cheap shots in this match! Faqu falls to the mat, then Sandman grabs his leg and pulls him to the ringpost, ramming his leg into it! COLE And now Sandman9000 wrapping the leg of the Samoan Wrecking Ball around that ringpost! Sandman then reaches into his bin, and pulls out a spool of barbed wire! COACH Oh, man! COLE What else can these guys pull out? Sandman unrolls some of the wire, and wraps it tight around the leg of Faqu, then rams the leg into the post once again! He then grabs the leg and bends it around the post, pulling back on it, until Faqu finally uses his free foot and kicks Sandman repeatedly in the face to free himself. COLE Well, Faqu got himself out of that jam, but his left leg is still wrapped up in that barbed wire! Faqu tries to unwrap himself, but Heat stops him, catching him with a swinging neckbreaker! Heat then picks up Faqu, and attempts an Irish whip, but Faqu reverses. Heat ducks a clothesline, but gets caught in a SAMOAN DROP~! Faqu follows that up, by dropping his barbed-wire wrapped leg on Heat! COLE Faqu with a legdrop, with that leg which is wrapped in barbed wire! Faqu then sits up, and begins to unwrap the barbed wire from his leg. After unwrapping it, he wraps it around his fist, then drops into the head of Heat! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Heat gets the shoulder up! COLE But Colombian Heat still refusing to lay down! Sandman then slides back inside with the ironing board, and jams it into the midsection of Faqu! As Faqu is doubled over, Sandman stands with his back towards the cactus, and grabs him in a front facelock. He waits, as Heat gets to his feet, then looks at Sandman for a second, before grabbing a front facelock himself. COLE And look at this double team! COACH Wow, I can't believe this! Sandman and Heat lift Faqu, and execute a DOUBLE SUPLEX ONTO THE CACTUS~! COLE Sandman and Heat joining forces, and Faqu lands on the cactus! Heat then goes right back after Sandman, dropping an elbow on him, then picking him up and delivering the GANGSTA SLAM~! Everyone lays on the mat, as the crowd gets to its feet. COLE And listen to the crowd here in Cleveland, showing their appreciation for the final three combatants in the fourth Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! Faqu slowly gets to his feet, then stomps away on Heat, kicking him to the outside. Sandman nails him from behind, then whips him into a corner, and follows him in with a knee to the face! COLE Big knee by Sandman9000 to the Samoan Wrecking Ball! However, Faqu walks right out of the corner, and holds his arms out. COACH Look at this, though! Faqu roars as Sandman turns around, then hooks one arm, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE The knee to the head by Sandman, but it had no effect on the big man! Faqu rolls to the outside, and grabs two steel chairs from under the ring. He rolls inside with them, then sets them up, and lays the barbed wire board across them. COACH What is Faqu doing? Faqu picks up Sandman, and delivers a chop, then lays him across the board. He then sets up the big ladder, and begins to climb, with his back to Sandman. COLE And the big man going to fly here, possibly! Meanwhile, on the outside, Heat has got the iron and blowtorch, and is torching the iron, until the base is glowing red! COACH Oh my God, look at that iron! Heat then slides into the ring, and climbs the ladder on the other side. Faqu reaches over, and throws right hands at Heat, then steps over the ladder and kicks away. One last kick attempt...but Heat holds the iron out, and Faqu's foot presses into it! COLE OH MY GOD, Faqu's foot being burned by that red hot iron! Faqu sits atop the ladder, as Sandman rolls off the board. Heat clotheslines Sandman to the mat, then climbs the ladder behind Faqu, and PRESSES THE IRON IN BETWEEN HIS SHOULDER BLADES~!~!~! COACH :o Somebody stop this! Faqu lays back, and Heat ducks below him, and hooks his arms. COLE Oh...my...God... Heat turns Faqu upside down...and delivers the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE OFF OF THE LADDER, BREAKING THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE BOARD BELOW~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH :O :O :O :O :O :O :O [size=3][b]HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~![/SIZE][/B] Heat pushes back off of his feet, hooking one of Faqu's legs... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH Oh, [i]no.[/i] COLE Faqu is gone! We're down to two!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Faqu eliminated by: Colombian Heat (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

The crowd noise escalates as Colombian Heat's cell lowers, and he drags his bag out of the cell, and pushes it into the ring. He then slides in himself, and sets up a ladder next to the ropes where Sandman, Faqu and Brock are fighting. COLE And Colombian Heat, in his weakened state, will climb the ladder here! COACH What's he going to do? Heat climbs the ladder, holding the ironing board with him, then gains his balance on the very top...and RIDES THE IRONING BOARD DOWN ONTO THE CROWD OF PEOPLE~! COLE OH MY! Colombian Heat, putting his body on the line, right out of the gate! COACH An ironing-board assisted flying bodypress! Only in the Chamber of Hell! Heat slowly gets to his feet, as the other three combatants simply lay out. He grabs Sandman, and tosses him into the ring, then stomps away at him in the corner. COLE And Heat wants Sandman9000! Look at him go! COACH Well of course, he's fresh! Sandman's been out there the whole match! Heat picks up Sandman, and executes the DRIVE-BY~! onto the barbed wire board! COLE Onto the barbed wire! 1... 2... NO! Sandman gets the shoulder up! Heat pulls Sandman back into the corner, then climbs up and lays in punches as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! Heat is interrupted by Brock Ausstin, who lays in a shot to the back! COLE And Brock Ausstin from behind! Brock then hammers Sandman with a right hand, before ramming Heat into the buckle. He then delivers a headbutt to Heat, then kicks Sandman in the gut, as Faqu slides back into the ring. Brock grabs the thumbtack motorcycle helmet, and puts it over his hand, then punches Sandman over the forehead! COLE Brock using that helmet like a boxing glove, delivering a big right hand to Sandman! However, Faqu sends Brock to the mat with a thrust kick! COACH But the Samoan Wrecking Ball isn't done yet, Cole! Heat goes back to work on Sandman, as Faqu stomps Brock to the outside. Faqu rakes Brock's face across the Chamber wall, then lays in chops, before grabbing the barbed wire chair. COLE And Faqu now with that chair wrapped in barbed wire! Faqu rams Brock in the ribs with the chair, while Heat runs into Sandman's feet in the corner inside. Sandman chokes away at Heat, while, Faqu charges Brock with the chair, only to have it kicked back into his face! COLE But Faqu's plan backfires! Meanwhile, in the ring, Sandman is climbing a ladder with his back to Heat, who lays below on top of the cactus. COACH Sandman going for something big on the inside, Cole! Heat slowly gets to his feet, and hammers Sandman on the back, then climbs the ladder on the other side. Meanwhile on the outside, Brock grabs Faqu in a battering ram, and rams him into the Chamber wall! COLE And a battering ram on the outside! COACH Wow, I don't know if even Faqu's head can take that kind of a move! Heat rams Sandman's face on the top of the ladder, then climbs over, hooking his legs under Sandman's shoulders...and executing a SUNSET FLIP BOMB OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE CACTUS~! COACH Oh my GOD. COLE Sandman right on his head and neck on that cactus! [b]"HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!" "HO-LY SHIT~!"[/b] COLE That was almost like Todd Cortez's Riot Act Plus off of that ladder, down onto the cactus! But Heat unable to cover! Heat slowly gets to his feet...and is met with a BARBED-WIRE CHAIRSHOT from Brock Ausstin! COACH Now he's REALLY unable to cover! Heat bleeds as he lays on the mat, as Faqu slides back inside. Brock lays the chair on the mat, then scoops up Faqu on his shoulders! COLE And here comes the F-Stunner-5 on the 300-pounder! However, Heat hits Brock with a chop block! COLE But Heat took the knee out on Brock! Faqu slowly gets to his feet, and stomps away on Heat, then picks him up and lays in chops! COLE And now Faqu going to work on Heat! That's gratitude for ya, I guess! Faqu whips Heat into the ropes, then flattens him with a body attack! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Meanwhile, Sandman delivers some forearm shots to Brock in a corner, but Brock grabs Sandman around the throat, and tosses him back into the corner, then delivers BIG right hands! COLE Brock Ausstin unloading on the Heartland champion! Faqu and Heat slip to the outside, as Brock whips Sandman into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Sandman hits a quick dropkick to the head! Meanwhile, on the outside, Faqu slams Heat's ironing board over his back! COLE Right to Heat's injured back! COACH Heat's own weapon from his bag! Haha! Faqu gives him another shot, as Heat arches his back in pain, and Faqu shoves him inside, while Sandman shoves Brock to the outside. Sandman grabs Brock in a standing headscissors, then hooks his arms. COLE Sandman going for the Archangel's Wings on the floor! However, Brock spins out, then scoops Sandman onto his shoulders, and gives him the F-STUNNER-5 INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER~!!!!!!11111 COLE But Brock counters, and Sandman taking the F-Stunner-5 into the Chamber wall! Unbelievable! Brock stands and catches his breath, then goes back inside, and hammers away on Heat, then executes a hanging fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And Heat getting the shoulder up after that suplex from Brock! Faqu stomps Sandman on the floor, then allows him to get to his feet, and delivers blows to the side of the face, followed by a big headbutt! Sandman sinks to his knees, as Faqu grabs the steel steps, lifting them over his head and approaching Sandman, who joins his hands together, and raises them in between the legs of Faqu! COLE Sandman with a low blow on the outside, as Faqu was about to slam those steel steps into his head! Faqu drops the steps behind him, as Sandman lays in some weak right hands. Faqu quickly recovers, and fires back, knocking Sandman to the floor with another massive headbutt! COACH But Sandman has had a lot of starch taken out of him here! Meanwhile, on the inside, Brock whips Heat to the ropes, and lifts him for a PRESS SLAM~!, but Heat slips behind, and takes Brock's knee out once again! COLE And Heat once again, going for the big man's knee! Faqu reaches into the ring, and drags Heat to the outside, hammering him as Sandman scales the top rope. Brock catches him, however, and crotches him! COLE Sandman got caught going upstairs! Brock tries to follow him upstairs, attempting to hook him for a superplex, but Sandman delivers right hands. COACH Sandman trying to avoid a superplex attempt! Sandman grabs Brock by the head, and delivers multiple headbutts, sending Brock down to the mat. COLE And Sandman able to stave off Brock for now! Sandman steps back up to the top, then waits for Brock to get up, then jumps off and drives a knee right into his face! COACH Wow, that was a flying knee, kind of like a Shining Wizard, off the top rope! Sandman covers... 1... 2... NO! Brock gets the shoulder up! COLE But not enough to put away Brock Ausstin! Sandman tosses Brock to the outside, then follows him out, and then assists Faqu in stomping Colombian Heat. COLE And now it's a double team, as Sandman joins Faqu and they both stomp away on Colombian Heat! COACH Yeah! Stomp right on that back! However, Brock is able to get to his feet, and hammers on the back of Faqu. Heat is able to fight his way up on Sandman, and takes the advantage with right hands, then holds him for Brock, who lays in rights to the gut. COLE And now it's Sandman being double-teamed, by Colombian Heat and Brock Ausstin! After a few shots, Brock reaches over Sandman and levels Heat! COACH And now Brock attacking Colombian Heat! How about that? Brock takes over on Heat on the floor, as Faqu pulls Sandman into the ring. Faqu whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman ducks a clothesline, and floors Faqu with a spinning wheel kick! Sandman then gets to his feet, and grabs the barbed-wire bat, digging into Faqu's head with it! COLE And Sandman putting the barbed wire into play once again, digging into the forehead of Faqu! Brock makes his way back into the ring, flooring both Sandman and Faqu with shots from the ironing board! He then grabs his croquet sledge, and begins to choke Faqu with it! Brock then picks up Faqu, and delivers a headbutt...which only serves to hurt himself! COACH Well, that was a dumb move! Doesn't Brock know about those Samoans? Brock delivers a second headbutt, same result, then Faqu delivers a big one of his own, before taking Brock over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Faqu could be setting Brock up here! Faqu then lays down the barbed wire chair, then hooks Brock...and delivers the DEATH BY SAMOAN~!!!!!11111 COACH There it is! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Brock Ausstin has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Faqu (pinfall) remaining: Sandman9000, Faqu, Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Salmons, G/F

A reminder also, this is the last round with 18-hour windows. It becomes 12 hours starting next round.

OK, I just now realized that you can save your draft progress on Yahoo as you go, instead of waiting until the draft's over and entering the whole thing at once. This will make things much easier when looking for a player to draft!