alfdogg

8-man tag The Deadly Alliance vs Leon Rodez, D*LUX, & Bohemoth

Wario's Woods (NES, 1994)

He was supposed to drop it to Sid at Thursday RAW Thursday.

Tyronn Lue has agreed to a two-year deal with the Bucks for the bi-annual exception.

These need to go after the MITB matches, with the first one coming immediately after the second match. Cut backstage, to Josie Baker sitting in her office. JOSIE So...we know now that Alfdogg will meet Bohemoth in the quarterfinals of the Money in the Bank tournament. *crowd cheers* JOSIE I bet the fans around the world can't wait to see that showdown. I also know that the fans probably can't wait to Leon Rodez get his hands on Alf's buddy, Reject, in their quarterfinal matchup! Well, they won't have to wait as long as they think. *crowd cheers* JOSIE Because they're all going to meet in the ring next week at the Big Apple Spectacular! *crowd cheers* JOSIE But it will not be one-on-one...rather, they will be on opposite sides in an eight-man tag match. The match will feature Alfdogg, Reject, Thunderkid, and Sandman9000 - the Deadly Alliance - facing off against Bohemoth and the Love Generation, of Leon Rodez and D*LUX! *crowd cheers* JOSIE But that's not all. There will be some extra added incentive for this match. Josie rises from her seat, and grabs four golden envelopes from her desk. JOSIE In these golden envelopes are four golden tickets, not unlike the ones seen in the Willy Wonka movies. However, these tickets are worth more than a trip to some stuffy factory. These tickets will earn each member of the winning team one favor, to be used within 60 days following the match, from me, the President of the OAOAST, Josie Baker. *crowd cheers* JOSIE And I don't mean [i]those[/i] kind of favors... *crowd boos* JOSIE These can be used for any wrestling-related favor you wish, be it booking a title match, making a stipulation, whatever you want. So keep that in mind, eight-man tag participants, and good luck to you all! *crowd cheers* *back to Sofa Central* COLE Wow, a HUGE announcement by Josie Baker, and what a spectacular match we've just added to the Big Apple Spectacular! COACH Amazing, can you imagine the impact this could have on the OAOAST? COLE It will have to be seen to be believed, and it will in fact be seen at the Big Apple Spectacular next week! Josh Matthews is standing outside the Deadly Alliance locker room with Alfdogg, Reject, and Sandman9000. ALF I hope Family Matters isn't on tonight... JOSH ...oh, um, hi! I'm Josh Matthews here with Deadly Alliance members Reject, Sandman9000, and Alfdogg, who earlier tonight defeated Baron Windels to advance to the quarterfinals of the Money In the Bank tournament, where he will meet the Metrosexual Monster, Bohemoth. ALF You can feel it in the air, Josh...this is the summer of the Deadly Alliance. Two men in the quarterfinals, myself and Reject. Sandman, the Heartland champ 10 months and running. We've got the tag team champions. The Deadly Alliance [i]is[/i] the most powerful organization in wrestling. While those other two Flavor-of-the-Month stables are out there playing My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad...while they're out there [i]talking[/i] about it...we're out there [i]being[/i] about it. JOSH Well, speaking of your stable, you heard the announcement earlier, you'll be in action as a unit at the Big Apple Spectacular, and your opponents will be D*LUX, along with your opponents in the MITB tournament, Bohemoth and Leon Rodez. ALF That's right, and we all know that New York City is a Deadly Alliance Town, Josh. And we're going to give our adoring fans there a preview of our Money in the Bank matches, right in the middle of Central Park. As far as Bohemoth goes, he may look big and strong and scary when he's in there with Cowboy Dick, but Bo, you're taking a step up in the ranks stepping in the ring with me. I've licked men bigger, stronger, and scarier than you many times...not literally, that would be gross. But you know what I mean. JOSH And Reject, your issues with Leon Rodez have been well documented. REJECT ...oh man, I'm sorry, Josh. I've got all these texts from Maggie to go through, I just can't keep my concentration! She can't get enough of the R-Man, but that pretty boy Rodez is gonna get plenty of me over the next two weeks. And after I'm done with you, Leon, maybe Sandman lend you some of his bandanas to cover up YOUR face. JOSH Well, the Deadly Alliance has two members still remaining in the tournament, but lost one last week, as Thunderkid was eliminated by Krista Isadora Duncan...say, by the way, where is Thunderkid? REJECT Oh, he's in the shower, washing all the DANDRUFF OUT OF HIS HAIR. THUNDERKID (from shower) Fuck off! ALF MOM DOESN'T LIKE DANDRUFF! Alf and Reject share a laugh, as Tony Tourettes walks into the picture and begins laughing loudly, as well, despite not knowing what's going on. Alf and Reject give him a weird stare. After a few seconds, Tony stops laughing and looks at Josh. TONY They got any beer back here? Vinny Valentine walks onto the set. VINNY There you are, Tony, I've been looking for you, where have you been? TONY I've been taking a HAIRY PISS! Alf looks at Sandman and mouths "hairy piss?" VINNY Come on back, I got us some of those sour gummy worms! TONY HOLY SHIT! Tony takes off in a dash towards the locker room, tripping and falling halfway there. JOSH ...gummy worms? Josh then takes off after Tony and Vinny. The camera cuts back to the Deadly Alliance, as Reject takes step towards the direction of the gummy worms. ALF (grabbing Reject's sleeve) Get back here. Thunderkid emerges from the locker room, at which point Reject immediately begins inspecting his hair. TK knocks his arm away, cracking a grin against his own will. TK Get the fuck off me! Reject doubles over in laughter, as the Deadly Alliance walks off.

[i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg is met with boos as he makes his way to the ring. COLE Another Money in the Bank match on the way, featuring one of the favorites to come out with the money and the title shot, former World champion Alfdogg! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following is a first-round Money in the Bank tournament match, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and a former two-time OAOAST champion of the WORLD...ALFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!![/i] COLE Alf will face a big test here, and I mean that literally, in Baron Windels, one half of the former Lone Star Gunslingers! COACH Tough luck for Baron, drawing Alf in the first round! He's a tough guy, but Alf has mowed down bigger and tougher adversaries! COLE And if Alf advances here, how about the possibility of him and Bohemoth, the Metrosexual Monster, in the next round? COACH Oh, I'm excited just thinking about that one, Cole! But don't count out Mr. Dick in that other match! Alf rolls into the ring, and poses on the ropes. He then hops down, as [i]Thriller[/i] by Fallout Boy plays, and Baron Windels make his way through the curtains, getting a nice ovation from the crowd. BUFFER [i]His opponent...from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 265 pounds...BAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] COLE On the other side of that coin, Coach, there's a chance the former tag team partners could meet in the next round, should Baron win this match, and Mr. Dick getting by Bo! COACH Not gonna happen, Cole! Alf's been preparing too hard for this tournament to have it taken away by this rope-a-dope! Baron slaps hands on the way to the ring, then climbs in and salutes the fans before removing his gear. The referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf and Baron circle the ring, but when Baron moves in, Alf hops out to the floor, drawing boos from the fans. Alf circles the ring, then climbs back in. He moves in, and the two tie up. Alf backs Baron up a few feet towards the corner, but Baron shoves Alf across the ring! COLE And Baron showing off the power advantage here, as Alf would be better suited to go to the speed moves and the mat wrestling here! Alf gets to his feet, then climbs to the apron when Baron moves towards him. Alf yells at the referee to get Baron away, and the referee manages to back Baron up to mid-ring. Alf climbs in, and the two tie up again. Alf grabs a side headlock, and wrenches down on it, forcing Baron down to one knee. Baron gets to his feet, then backs Alf into the ropes and shoves him across. Baron drops down, then gets to his feet and knocks Alf to the mat with a shoulder-check! Alf immediately scoots to the outside. COLE Alf on his back once again, and once again, he's out to the floor! COACH Alf's trying to frustrate Baron here, and I think it may be starting to work! Alf slides back in, and moves in once again. This time, Alf drives a knee into the midsection, followed by a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf attempts an Irish whip, but Baron reverses, and sets up for a BIG BOOT~!, but Alf grabs the ropes and pulls himself to the floor. COLE And there he goes again! The crowd is starting to get uneasy, but this time, Baron goes out after him! COACH Uh oh! COLE And Baron is on the chase this time! Alf leads him to the other side of the ring, then rolls in, and catches Baron with a elbow to the back of the head as he rolls in! COACH See, look at that, Cole! There's the real difference right there, that ring savvy of Alf! Alf stomps away on Baron, then picks him up and executes a vertical suplex, followed by a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout WITH AUTHORITY~! COLE BIG kickout from Baron right there! Alf stomps Baron, then runs to the ropes, and leaps into the air for an elbowdrop...but Baron rolls out of the way! COLE And nobody home on that elbow! Baron delivers right hands to Alf, then backs into the ropes and catches him with a big clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Baron wrings the arm of Alf, then starts to go to a wristlock, but Alf goes to the eyes! Alf then backs into the ropes, and catches him with a Hart Attack clothesline! He then goes to the top, as Baron starts to get to his feet, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COACH Big move from Alf! 1... 2... Kickout! Alf grabs an armbar on the mat, but Baron fights his way to his feet. As the referee circles around the wrestlers, however, Alf grabs a handful of hair and yanks Baron back to the mat! COLE And Alf with the hair behind the referee's back! COACH Smart move there by Alf! Waited until the referee was out of view, and did what he had to do to bring Baron down! Baron fights up to his feet again, but Alf backs him into a corner. Baron suddenly turns him around, and starts delivering right hands! COLE And look at this outburst from Baron Windels! Baron grabs Alf, and rams his face into the buckle as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Baron then whips Alf into the ropes, and executes a BIG backdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Boy, this match has been back-and-forth all the way! Baron whips Alf into the ropes once again, but this time puts his head down, and Alf delivers a kick to the mush! COACH A Cardinal error by Baron there, though, putting his head down! Alf follows up with a swinging neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf whips Baron into the ropes, then drops down, then attempts a clothesline, but Baron ducks, and catches him with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Baron then backs into the ropes for the COWBOY BEBOP ELBOW~!, but Alf rolls out of the way! COLE And Alf able to avoid the Cowboy Bebop Elbow! COACH ...how can you say that with a straight face? COLE Practice. COACH I'll have to try that. Alf whips Baron into the ropes, the leapfrogs him, drops down, and catches him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COLE Big move from Alf! COACH Alf with the Space Ghost Spinebuster! COLE ... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up Baron, and whips him hard into the corner, then follows up with a bulldog! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COACH And Baron still hanging on, despite suffering the Buzz Lightyear Bulldog! Alf backs Baron into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then attempts an Irish whip, but Baron reverses, and follows him right in with a corner clothesline! COACH But Baron comes back with the Cow and Chicken Clothesline! COLE ...OK, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Alf staggers out, and Baron sends him to the floor with another clothesline! COLE And Alf out to the floor following another clothesline! Baron follows Alf out, and delivers right hands, but Alf goes to the eyes. Alf then tries to ram Baron into the ring apron, but Baron blocks it and rams Alf in! Baron then scoops Alf up with intent of ramming him into the post, but Alf slips behind the back and shoves him into it instead! COLE And Baron colliding hard with the ringpost! Wow, you could hear that sound a mile away! COACH OK, time for Alf to finish this one off now! Alf stomps away on Baron, then climbs to the top, jumping to the outside with a double axhandle! COLE Alf comes crashing all the way down to Baron on the floor! COACH Can Baron survive the Astroboy Axhandle? COLE [i]Stop.[/i] Alf rolls Baron inside, then executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Alf going for the kill here! Alf follows up with a T-BONE SUPLEX~!!, and a BLUE THUNDER BOMB~!!! Alf then scales the ropes... COLE Alf could advance right here! COACH You know, Alf told me he was considering changing the name of this move to the Fat Albert Frog Splash! COLE He did [i]not[/i] tell you that, shut the fuck up already. Alf jumps off, just as Baron rolls out of the way! However, Alf rolls through, ala Eddie Guerrero, and goes for a SUPERKICK~!, but Baron ducks, and floors Alf with the MYSPACE COMEBACK~! COLE And Baron with the MySpace Comeback! COACH And [i]I'm[/i] scraping the bottom of the barrel? COLE Hey, I didn't make it up! Baron picks up Alf, and executes the DEVIL'S ADDICTION~! Baron then follows with the COWBOY BEBOP ELBOW~! COACH And Baron hits the Eek! Stravaganza Elbow! COLE It's the Cowboy Bebop Elbow, thank you very much. Baron picks up Alf, and attempts an Irish whip, but Alf reverses, then attempts a clothesline, but Baron ducks, then attempts a BIG BOOT~! ...but Alf catches the foot, trips Baron up, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf with the Sharpshooter! No nicknames needed here, if Baron can't get to the ropes, it's over! Baron struggles towards the ropes, but Alf pulls him back to the center, and sits down on it! Baron makes a couple faint scoots towards the ropes...but is forced to tap out! *DING DING DING* COLE And it's over! Alf has advanced to the quarterfinals! BUFFER [i]The winner of the match, advancing to the next round of the tournament...ALFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!![/i] COACH What a great move by Alf, able to block the Count Duckula Kick (come on, you [i]knew[/i] I was going to work that one in) and, in one motion, apply that Sharpshooter! COLE And Alf will advance to meet the winner of the matchup between Bohemoth and "Mr. Dick" Jock Mulligan in the quarterfinals! COACH I'm still disappointed at the lack of Fat Albert Frog Splash, though. COLE You're going to get a Strawberry Shortcake Slap to the Face if you don't knock it off!

You know where Smith would fit in great? Indiana. Still need a young PG, Hawks? Have we got a deal for you!

It should be pointed out, though, that the author (Chris Mannix) wrote a similar article to this last summer, and no one else has really picked up on this story throughout the last year. I'm not sure how much coverage this is getting in Atlanta, but is it possible the author has an agenda here, because you'd think that this would have gotten some mention before now, given the Hawks' playoff run and the fact that Smith was probably the top free agent of this class, at least before Elton Brand opted out.

You know, I too have a game that involves little other than making wide-open threes. Too bad I'm not friends with LeBron James, maybe I could have got a five-year contract like Daniel Gibson did today.

The trade is actually for the right to swap second-rounders, so the Nuggets aren't even getting an extra pick out of it. What happened with the Clippers' talks with Okafor? I still think he would have been a better option than the much older Camby.

Imagine how bad the Nuggets' defense is going to look now. I understand this was a salary move, but wtf, Denver.

Put me on the waiting list. I'll be representing the University of Hawaii. Or, if Vampiro69 doesn't come back, I'd like Ball State.

It's OK. Fun opening tag match, the stuff with the referee was really good. Mass brawl after the match, wondering where this will lead? Nice promo from Landon, as the Landon/Cortez heat continues to build. One can only wonder, though, who was Todd's opponent going to be? Good match by CCB. Nice, hard-hitting action. Nice squash by Phoenix, and an interesting scenario coming up at BAS. I don't like Cooper's chances. Then again, he's from Lafayette, so who cares. Wall/PRL was awesome. Worth the wait. But, that doesn't mean you can be two weeks late with all your main events. Jade gave it a real go, but Malaysia is just too much. Who could possibly take down this woman? Very good segment with COD, as usual. Terrific match between Zack and Black. Sick finish, as well. Loved the interaction between the Enterprise and LCI. I think there's a third heel stable with an argument as the most dominant force in the OAOAST, though... Someone wants to buy the OAOAST, it seems. Interested to see if there's a follow-up to this. Another outstanding match in the main event. The commentary was gold, and I liked how the finish came off. MOTN: Close call, but I have to go with Zack vs Black. PRL/Wall doesn't really count, since technically it wasn't part of this show. LOTN: Moneymaker had so many great ones tonight, but I'll go with this one. "ThunderKid, a fine, fine example of genetic American ingenuity. Haircut you could set your watch to, physique chiseled out of granite, square jaw reminiscent of some of the greatest fighters in American history, Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal, Rocky Marciano, Arnold Schawrznegger, Theodore Moneymaker. I wish we had a super solider program so we could collect helpings of ThunderKid's sperm and disseminate it amongst ourselves to protect our borders against threats external and internal." Definitely the best HD in a while.

Today, the Hornets won a summer league game over the Bobcats on a game-winner by Bobby Brown.

Tyrus Thomas is 2.0, I think.

12 hours. Sonic Spinball (Genesis)

Am I just blind, or did my backstage segment get left on the cutting room floor? I'll leave feedback tommorrow.

They've basically been talking about nothing but Brett Favre on ESPN Radio the last three days. This is worse than any Patriots hype, any Sox/Yankees hype, any Celtics/Lakers hype. I liked Favre as a player, but just go the fuck away already.

Money in the Bank Baron Windels vs Alfdogg Plus a huge match will be announced for the Big Apple Spectacular.

Dallas re-signs Antoine Wright and signs Keith McLeod and James Singleton. New Jersey signs Eduardo Najera and Jarvis Hayes. Boston signs Patrick O'Bryant to a two-year contract.

Houston signs Brent Barry to a two-year contract.

All done.

[i]Rock the Casbah[/i] by Trust Company hits, and Leon Rodez makes his way through the curtains to a massive pop. COLE And we're ready for yet another first-time ever matchup, as the Heartland title is on the line! Let's go to Michael Buffer! [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/shirts/matches/9000leon.jpg] BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan, weighing in at 218 pounds...he is the GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD..."SILKY SMOOTH" LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!![/i] COLE This match made after last week's ambush in the parking lot by Sandman9000... *cue replay* COLE You see Leon and Reject going at it here in the parking lot, and RIGHT THERE, Sandman from behind with that kendo stick, and Leon, already sporting scars from being in War Games just four days prior, also needing to have the back of his head stitched up after that shot! COACH Leon brought it on himself, Cole! Leon physically provoked Reject after he had just got back from a dinner date...or at least that was Maggie's story! COLE Yeah...a date with [i]Leon's[/i] girlfriend, you overbearing ass. COACH And? Leon's own [i]sister[/i] even said, Leon needed to be reminded of what he had! Leon waits intently in the ring, as the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER [i]His opponent...hailing from South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...representing the Deadly Alliance...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSANDMMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] COLE Sandman9000, going on his tenth month as the Heartland champion, the longest reign in the history of the company, and matching the longest current title reign in the OAOAST, actually winning it on the same night that Colombian Heat won the U.S. title! COACH Yeah, and someone needs to put a stop to that! The assertion that that chump Heat could even sniff the jockstrap of Sandman9000 is ludicrous! This guy right here is a legend of our sport! COLE Well, there's no denying that, Sandman9000, an OAOAST Original, has been a great cornerstone for the Heartland division, but Heat has been no slouch in defending his U.S. title, either! Sandman rolls in the ring, and rips the bandanas from his face, looking right into Leon's eyes from afar the whole time. COLE Sandman with a look that would strike fear into the hearts of most men, but not Leon Rodez! This man is ready! Sandman hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Sandman and Leon circle the ring, then tie up. Sandman quickly breaks, and throws a right hand at Leon, who returns fire! Both men exchange punches, until Sandman goes to a knee to the gut, then rams Leon into the turnbuckle. Sandman hammers away on Leon in the corner, then whips him across the ring. He charges, but Leon moves out of the way! COLE No one home on that attempt by Sandman9000! Leon moves Sandman into the corner, and climbs onto the middle rope, hammering away as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Leon hops down, and dropkicks a staggering Sandman, who falls through the middle ropes to the floor! Leon meets him out there when he runs to the ropes, and dives through the first and middle ropes with a dropkick! COLE What a dropkick right there be Leon Rodez! Leon plays to the crowd, which responds positively, then stomps away on Sandman. He picks Sandman up, and rams him face-first into the steel steps! Sandman staggers around the side of the ring towards the timekeeper's table, and Leon sneaks up from behind and shoves him into the table! COACH I gotta say, Leon has been impressive so far, the way he's handling Sandman out on the floor! Sandman attempts to pull himself out of the pile of junk, and Leon goes over to help him out. However, when he does, Sandman turns around and whacks him with the ring bell! COLE But Sandman had a trick up his sleeve right there, drilling Leon with that ring bell! Leon holds his head in pain, then checks the wound on his forehead, which surprisingly was not re-opened. Sandman picks up Leon, and rolls him back inside, then grabs a chair from the fallen timekeeper's table. COACH Uh-oh, Leon's made Sandman mad now! He rolls inside, then waits for Leon to get to his feet, and WHACKS the chair right on Leon's forehead! COACH DAY-UM~! Sandman slams the chair to the mat, and this time, the wound of Leon is re-opened. COLE And that VILE CHAIRSHOT~ has re-opened that head wound that Leon suffered during WarGames! Sandman grabs the chair again. COACH And he's gonna do it again, Cole! Sandman raises the chair up, but Leon brings both hands together up into the crotch of Sandman, then pulls himself to his feet and delivers a DDT onto the chair! COLE And a nice recovery by Leon! Leon grabs the chair, then backs into a corner. He runs across, then jumps into the air, putting the chair underneath his legs, and coming down onto the face of Sandman! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon hammers away with right hands as Sandman lays on the mat, then stomps away until Sandman is forced to the outside. Leon follows Sandman to the ropes, and slingshots himself over the top. Sandman sidesteps him, and Leon lands on his feet, only to be leveled with a clothesline! COLE Nice move there by Leon landing on his feet, but he got caught! Sandman picks up Leon and tosses him over the guardrail into the crowd, and follows him out. COLE And we're taking it into the crowd here in Birmingham! Sandman and Leon exchange blows, with Sandman getting the better of the exchange, then setting up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS on the concrete! COACH Oh man, this will be it for Leon if he hits this, maybe for good! However, Leon blocks, and backdrops Sandman on the concrete! COLE Leon thankfully able to avoid that move! Leon kicks Sandman through the crowd, and Sandman scrambles back over the guardrail towards the ring. Leon follows, grabbing a trash can on his way. He tosses the can to Sandman, then dropkicks it into his face! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon picks up Sandman, and executes a backbreaker, then goes back outside...coming back in with a BARBED-WIRE BASEBALL BAT~! COLE And now the heavy artillery is starting to come out! Leon rolls in, waiting for Sandman to get to his feet, then swings...but Sandman ducks, and catches Leon with a back suplex onto the garbage can! COACH Nice suplex! Sandman covers while simultaneously grabbing the bat out of Leon's reach... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman seizes control of the bat, stopping to gaze at it longingly. COLE That is a sick man we're looking at. COACH For once, Cole...I agree with you. And I [i]love[/i] it! Sandman grabs the bat with two hands just below where the barbed wire starts, and starts digging in to Leon's open wound! COLE And look at this! Barbed wire right into that gash on Leon's head! Leon yells in pain, as Sandman releases he bat, and chokes Leon back down. Sandman then hops to the second ropes, and attempts a SENTON SPLASH...but Leon moves out of the way, then grabs the bat! Sandman gets up, and Leon clotheslines him in the face with it! COLE And now it's Sandman tasting the barbed wire! Leon dances around Sandman as he gets to his feet, then delivers a jab! Then another! A third! a fourth! Leon then turns around and blows a kiss to the crowd, before drilling Sandman with an enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT~!!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COACH But not enough to keep Sandman down! Leon then backs to one corner of the ring, and comes running across, holding each end of the bat, driving it down into Sandman's head! Leon keeps the bat there, and digs into Sandman's cut, then stomps him to the outside. Leon makes his way over to the announcers' table, and begins to pick it apart. COACH Here goes our table, Cole! Leon drags Sandman onto the table, and sets up a piledriver! COLE And now Leon going for the piledriver! However, Sandman blocks, and backdrops Leon, causing the table to break and fall out from under both men! COLE Both men out of it on the floor after going through our announce position! The crowd applauds as both men lay in the table wreckage, then Sandman starts to pull to his feet. He grabs Leon and shoves him back inside, then sets up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COACH This is it, Cole! But Leon counters, and sets up a slingshot, sending Sandman into the ringpost! He catches him on the way back with a BLUE THUNDER BOMB~! COLE IT'S DA BOOM! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COACH And again Sandman kicks out! Sandman rolls to the outside, and Leon follows, delivering right hands. He then sets up an Irish whip, but Sandman reverses, sending Leon into the steep steps! COLE Leon Rodez crashing into those steel stairs! Sandman then grabs the stairs, picking them up overhead, and tosses them onto the back of Leon! COLE And right on the back now, oh my! Sandman tosses Leon back inside, then slides in and grabs the bat. COLE Now he's got the bat again... Sandman brings the bat into the gut of Leon, then drops it on the mat, and delivers a DDT ONTO THE BAT~! COACH That's got to be it! 1... 2... NO!!! Leon gets the shoulder up! COACH I can't believe this. COLE Leon Rodez refusing to give up! Sandman rolls Leon onto his back, and lays the bat onto his crotch, as the crowd collectively groans. Sandman then picks up the feet of Leon, and STOMPS THE BAT~! COLE :o COACH Looks like no little Melodys for Leon! COLE Oh, stop it! Sandman looks out to the crowd for a second, then grabs his own crotch and feigns a brief limp, drawing boos. He then rolls out, and pulls out...a WEED WHACKER~! COLE Oh, no. Even for a Heartland match, this is a little much! As Leon pulls himself to his feet, Sandman slides inside and attempts to start the appliance. Before he can, however, riot guards are sent out from the back and stand in front of him! COLE Thank God, we have some security out here to stop this! Sandman is hesitant to give away the weapon, but winds up turning his back to Leon, who sneaks up from behind with a low blow! COLE And a low blow from Leon Rodez! Leon drags Sandman over to the bat, and executes a TIGER DRIVER~! onto it! Leon then looks outside, and jumps out, chasing down the riot guard holding the weed whacker, and snatches it from him, then heads back! COLE And now Leon has the weed whacker! Security needs to get back to the ring right now! Leon slides back in and holds the weed whacker in the air, but as he tries to start it, the tallest riot guard slides in and, in one motion, drops Leon with a move looking very much like the EULOGY~! (probably because it is, but his identity is concealed, you know.) COLE WAIT A MINUTE! COACH What? You said you wanted it stopped, and the riot guard came in and stopped it! COLE No mistaking that maneuver, it's obvious who was under that helmet! The guard stares down Leon, as another good-sized guard floors a third incoming guard with a BICYCLE KICK! COLE I can't believe this! The two mysterious guards run back down the aisle, as Sandman has come to, dragging Leon to his feet, and drilling him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And there's the Acrhangel's Wings! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Sandman retains his title, thanks to an obviously disguised Reject! COACH Now wait a minute, you can't prove that! BUFFER [i]The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSANDMMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] COLE It's obvious to me and everyone else in this arena, except of course for the dumb fuck sitting next to me, that those were Thunderkid and Reject under those masks! COACH We have no proof that it was them, and we have no way of knowing who would have won that match had that not happened! COLE Sandman retains tonight, but Reject is gonna get his when he meets Leon Rodez in the second round of the Money in the Bank tournament! COACH Reject already got his, from Leon's girl! COLE Oh, will you [i]stop it?[/i]

Super Bomberman 3 (SNES, 1995)

omg neil sedaka is so gangsta he makes snoop dog look lik a teletubby!