alfdogg

Just read on Yahoo that there's a chance Dirk could be back tommorrow against the Warriors.

Enterprise vs LGS/CAE: Nice little opener. There seems to be problems between the Lone Star Gunslingers. Interesting to see where that leads in the coming weeks. Always nice to see the Originals pop in with a cameo at AngleMania. Love Generation vs Internationally Known: Hot six-man with lots of near-falls. I was a little surprised at the result, but I have a feeling that the LG will be back. I have to say Patty is doing better with Tony Tourettes than I ever could have hoped to. Nice segment. James Cone vs Jester: Brutal match with great drama. Big AngleMania return for Cone. Todd Cortez vs Landon Maddix: Terrific story, outstanding match. Antoher result that surprised me a bit, as well. MISTER Warrior's promo was excellent. I went through it in my head a couple times, trying to imagine what it may sound like had the actual Warrior cut the promo. Zack Malibu vs Bohemoth: In a word, awesome. The powerbomb to the ramp was particularly sick. And then Bo snuffs Zack after picking up the win. I want more. Krista vs Alix: Another terrific match, but the postmatch sequence is what I'll remember most about this one. What does the future hold here? I can't wait to find out. MISTER Warrior vs Vinny Valentine: I expected an entertaining squash, and was not disappointed. So, nice work. I'll do Ed's stuff when it comes in.

I'm using this time to call main event for the 4/12 HeldDOWN~! The match in question will be announced this week.

What, no Space Jam?

Oh, you cad!

I did eight leagues this year, and this was the only one in which I failed to make the championship bracket. Nice work, guys.

Courtesy of the Google map, looks like the closest Cheesecake Factory is at the Keystone Crossing, which is a 25-mile drive. Maybe I'll check it out on my next day off.

Nice closeout, NYU.

DJ Clue's Super Mario Bros. remix hits, and the Burrough Boys make their way through the curtains. COLE And we're ready for a big four-on-two handicap match here at AngleMania VII! Thunderkid and Reject teamed up together once again! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following is a 4-on-2 handicap match, scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 875 pounds...introducing Mariano, Luther, Waldo, and Quincy...THE BURROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSS!!!!![/i] COLE And of course, it was about a month ago that the Burrough Boys disassociated themselves with Reject on HeldDOWN, and Reject was paired up with Thunderkid for this special match! The Boys enter the ring, and talk trash to fans, as [i]Renegade[/i] hits, and the crowd cheers as Reject walks to the ring. COLE And here come their opponents! BUFFER [i]And their opponents...first, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!![/i] COACH But Cole, it's been over two years now since TK and Reject split up as a team! There's no way they can jump in there and compete with two of the Burrough BOys, let alone all four of them! Reject walks to the ring, and stops at the front of the aisleway. [i]God of Thunder[/i] hits, and Thunderkid comes through the curtains, to a big pop from the crowd. COLE Well, we're about to find that out! BUFFER [i]And his partner, from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!![/i] TK and Reject meet at the end of the aisle, and look at each other for a second, then slide into the ring, and a brawl ensues! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! Mariano and Luther beat down on Reject in one corner, while Quincy and Waldo do the same to TK in the opposite. COACH And just as I predicted, Cole! The Burrough Boys meet in mid-ring for a four-way jumping high five, and return to the corners. However, Thunderkid and Reject fight back on their opponents! COLE But back come Thunderkid and Reject! Thunderkid and Reject both execute DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKERS~! on their adversaries, then Mariano and Quincy are whipped into one another, and both fall to the outside. TK grabs Luther, and grabs him in a hangman's hold. COLE Look at this! COACH Oh no, I hate this move! Reject measures Luther, and delivers a STIFF roundhouse kick to the midseciton! TK then hooks Waldo in a dragon sleeper position... COLE And this one could be over in a hurry! TK lifts Waldo onto Reject's shoulder, for the THUNDEROUS REJECTION~!!!!!11111 COACH I can't believe this! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE Wow! That could be a record time for an AngleMania match! BUFFER [i]The winners of the match...the team of THUNDERKID and REJECT!!!!![/i] TK and Reject give each other high tens, as Mariano tries to get back into the ring, but thinks better of it when TK cuts him off. COLE Thunderkid and Reject, together again, and in a big way, making short work of the four Burrough Boys! COACH I still can't believe that, Cole, I mean how long were they in there? Like you said, that has to be a record. COLE Maybe we can get that info later! Right now, let's go to...

This needs to go after the TK/Reject vs Burrough Boys match, which I'm working on right now. *graphic* COLE And now, the World tag team titles on the line! Can Team Heyross win their first title? We're about to find out! Let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER [i]LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for our tag team attraction of the evening! In just a few moments, the World Tag Team titles will be on the line, with the winners of the Anderson Cup looking to reach the top of the mountain for the first time! ARE YOU READY?[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]Los Angeles, California...ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYOUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????[/i] *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER [i]Then for the hundreds of thousands in attendance here in Los Angeles, and the billions watching all around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] [i]Shine[/i] by Collective Soul hits and the crowd goes crazy for Team Heyross as they come through the curtains. COLE And here come the challengers, for the biggest match of their careers! COACH And it's gonna be the biggest loss of their career, Cole! You don't understand, the Rockers live for this kind of stage! Benjamin does his pose on the buckles, then hops in the ring. [size=5][i][color=red]HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT![/SIZE][/I][/COLOR] As [i]Heart-Shaped Box[/i] plays, The Heavenly Rockers walk through the curtains, accompanied by Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. The Rockers walk slowly and confidently down the aisle, then climb onto the apron and pose...before Team Heyross pulls them both into the ring over the top rope! *DING DING DING* COLE HERE WE GO! COACH Look at this! They haven't even done the introductions yet! Benjamin hammers away on Logan in one corner, while Moss and Synth hammer away on the other. Team Heyross sets the champs up, and whips them into each other in mid-ring! COLE And the challengers wasting no time taking the advantage in this match! Benjamin grabs the staggering Logan, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY! The crowd is going CRAZY! COLE Great suplex by Benjamin, and this crowd is really into this one! The champs bail, and the challengers follow. Logan catches Benjamin as he comes out, hammering him with forearm blows, then shoving him back-first into the apron! Logan does it once more, as Synth has Moss back in the ring. He sets him up on the top rope, and tries to follow him up, but Moss hammers away with right hands. Synth staggers back, as Moss turns himself around on the top rope. Synth comes in once again, and Moss rolls backwards over the back of Synth and lands in the ring, then rams Synth's head into the buckle! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Moss then sets Synth on the top rope. COLE And now it's Moss going for something here... Moss climbs up to the second rope, hooks Synth around the waist...and takes him off with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And a BIG belly-to-belly by Charlie Moss! Team Heyross is on fire! Moss yells out to the crowd, which roars its approval. Moss covers... 1... 2... But ogan rolls in and drops an elbow to the back of his head! COACH I don't think we're going to see much of a scientific encounter here! This is a fight! Benjamin knocks Logan out of the ring, then the referee forces him to the outside. COLE And finally, it looks like the referee's going to restore a little order here! Meanwhile, Synth has taken over on Moss, flooring him with a back suplex! He hammers away with forearms to the back, knocking him towards the ropes. Irish whip, but Moss ducks a clothesline, then blind tags Benjamin. Synth puts his head down, and Moss grabs him by the hair and yanks him backwards to the mat! Moss follows up with a back suplex! Logan attempts to jump in the ring, but is quickly intercepted by Benjamin, who then ducks down and waits for Synth to get to his feet, as the crowd starts to buzz. COACH Could be the Double Goozle coming here! Synth gets to his feet, and Moss backs into the ropes, then comes back with a clothesline as Benjamin sweeps the leg! COLE DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Benjamin covers, but the referee is putting Moss out of the ring, and as he is, Logan slides in with the chair and slams it across Benjamin's back! The crowd boos loudly. COLE And Logan in the ring with a chair, give me a break! The referee comes around, as Synth rolls over and covers Benjamin... 1... 2... But Benjamin gets a foot on the rope! COLE But Benjamin luckily able to reach the ropes! Synth complains to the referee, then picks up Benjamin and lifts him in a vertical suplex, holding him, then dropping to the mat! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera delivers right hands to Benjamin on the ropes, then whips him across and catches him with a powerslam! Pantera does the safe signal with his arms, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Another escape! Synth tosses Benjamin to the outside, then walks towards Moss as the referee tries to keep him back. This allows Logan to jump down, and drill Benjamin with a LEFT HOOK~! on the floor! COACH YES~! COLE And Logan with a cheap shot, that left hand on the floor behind the referee's back! Logan climbs back on the apron, as Synth hops out and tosses Benjamin back inside, then tags in Logan. Logan picks up Benjamin, and delivers a twisting neckbreaker! Logan kneels for a second, then drives knees into Benjamin's back. He then picks up Benjamin once again, and delivers a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And Quentin Benjamin not quitting, he's hangin' in there! He wants to become a tag team champion for the first time! Logan tags Synth back in, and Synth applies a camel clutch! COACH Synth may make him quit right here, though! Synth clamps down on the hold, and Benjamin fades. The referee lifts the arm... ONE!!! TWO!!! Benjamin holds through on the third lift! Benjamin gathers up strength, and raises to his feet, causing Synth to change to a chinlock, and delivers an elbow! Then a second! A third! COLE Synth still holding on loosely! COACH And not letting go! He better squeeze tightly, or he'll lose control! COLE :headbang: Benjamin hooks an arm and ducks under and behind Synth, then hooks the other arm, and delivers a TIGER SUPLEX~! COLE What a suplex! Synth folded up like an accordion! COACH And Quentin had better make a tag here! Benjamin scoots over towards his corner, but Logan hops in and dives at Benjamin with a double axhandle! Moss hops into the ring and hammers Logan, then delivers a kneelift, knocking him into the ropes. Moss charges at Logan, but Logan ducks and backdrops Moss to the floor! COLE And Charlie Moss to the outside now! As the referee attempts to usher Moss back to the corner, Synth picks up Benjamin, and Logan joins in the PERCUSSION DDT~!!!!!11111 COACH Yeah baby! That's it, if the referee gets back! The referee slides in, and tries to put Logan out, allowing Moss to grab the chair and slide back in. COACH Turn around, ref!!! Moss smacks Synth across the back with the chair! Moss then gets out of the ring, as Synth and Benjamin are both out of it! Benjamin starts to stir, and starts to crawl towards Moss! Synth finally comes to, and makes a tag to Logan, who stops Benjamin JUST as he's about to make the tag! COACH How about that, Cole? Synth suffered a shot with a steel chair, and was still able to tag out in time for Logan to stop a tag on the other side! COLE The champs are tough, there's no question about it, and meanwhile Quentin Benjamin still not able to make a tag, you have to wonder how much longer he can hang on! Logan whips Benjamin into the corner, but Benjamin comes out and catches Logan with a SUPERKICK~! COLE But no! Benjamin STILL with fight left! Synth jumps in, and gets hit with a double leg clothesline! Benjamin crawls over and TAGS MOSS! COLE And FINALLY a tag made! Moss hammers away on both men, then grabs their heads and rams them together! Synth falls to the outside, as Moss delivers an STO BACKBREAKER~! to Logan! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Logan gets the shoulder up! Moss gets up, then runs across and knocks Synth to the floor with a baseball slide! Moss then follows him and hammers away, as Benjamin pulls himself to his feet on the apron. Logan gets up and follows to the outside, as the champs double team Moss. Benjamin backs into the ropes... COACH Look at Quentin! Benjamin floors everyone with a CORKSCREW PLANCHA~! COLE And Benjamin flies! All four men are out on the floor, as the crowd cheers in appreciation. Logan and Moss get up, and Moss follows Logan into the ring. As Synth hammers Benjamin on the floor, Logan catches Moss with a LEFT HOOK~! COLE Left hook out of nowhere from Logan! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Moss gets a shoulder up! Logan hooks Moss in a side headlock, but Moss shoves him off...right into the referee! COLE And the referee took a shot, as Logan shoved right into him by Charlie Moss! Synth slides a chair in to Logan, who slams it on the mat, and waits for Moss to get to his feet. Meanwhile, Benjamin shoves Synth into the ringpost on the floor, and scales the top rope, as Moss gets to his feet...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK, knocking the chair right into Logan! COACH Oh no! COLE And the chair right back into the face of Logan! Benjamin goes to the outside, as Moss gets to his feet...and lifts Logan onto his shoulders! The crowd is going NUTS! COLE They're setting him up for the big finish! COACH Where are you, Synth? Benjamin goes to the top as Moss gets Logan positioned...and hits the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE They hit it! Is this it? Benjamin covers, as the referee comes to... 1... 2... ... 3!!! COLE YES! Team Heyross has done it! Moss leaps in the air in rhythm with the crowd's explosion, as Benjamin rises to his knees and raises his fists in the air, then covers his face with them. BUFFER [i]The winners of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRLD...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] COLE After three long years, Team Heyross, FINALLY, has become the World tag team champions! The referee hands them the belts, and they stare longingly into them, then raise them in the air, as the crowd continues their applause. They stand on the buckles, and raise them in their right hands. They switch buckles, as Benjamin spots two figures in the aisles. COACH Who is this? Moss hops off the buckles, and stands on the far side of the ring, staring down the aisle, as well, as the camera focuses on Thunderkid and Reject standing halfway down! COLE Look at this! COACH Thunderkid and Reject, out to get a closer look! TK and Reject look on for a few seconds, then TK claps his hands, and Reject gives them two thumbs up, as Benjamin shows them his belt. TK and Reject then depart back down the aisle. COLE And a congratulations from Thunderkid and Reject to the new champions, perhaps a challenger down the road, Coach! COACH Well, that would be a terrific match, Cole, I can't wait to see what's in store for the new champions! COLE Tonight, they're in store for a big-time celebration! Let's go to...

*graphic* The crowd goes NUTS upon seeing the graphic. COLE And we are just moments away from one of the biggest matches of this year's AngleMania! Alfdogg, looking for his fourth Heartland title, challenges Sandman9000, the reigning champion! This is going to be an epic battle! Let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER [i]LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time, for one of the main attractions of the evening. Tonight, two of the roughest, toughest superstars in the history of our sport, will do battle in a no-holds-barred environment, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! ARE YOU READY?[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]Los Angeles, California...ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYY?????[/i] *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER [i]Then for the hundreds of thousands in attendance here in Los Angeles, and the BILLIONS watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] A pause takes place to let the crowd get the cheers out, then the boos start as the lights go out and [i]Magnum Opus[/i] plays. After the drum intro, the lights kick back on, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains, in a custom-made teal hoodie. (for argument's sake, let's pretend this is a teal hoodie. And that the letters on the back are white.) [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v197/alfdogg/oaoastkobecp3shirt.jpg] COLE And here comes Alfdogg, not trying to make any friends among the hundred-thousands here at the Coliseum, as usual! COACH I get the feeling Alf's not a big fan of the teams here in the City of Angels! Alf climbs into the ring, and poses on the buckles, to boos. He then removes the hoodie, folds it up nicely, and hands it to the timekeeper. He is wearing his red Foley flannel with a white sleeveless underneath. COLE And Alf looks ready for battle, Coach! He looks ready to become a four-time Heartland champion, but it will be easier said than done! Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. COLE It was six months ago today that this man made his return to the OAOAST, and captured the Heartland title! And the fans in L.A. going crazy for Sandman9000! Sandman walks slowly to the ring, then rolls inside, rips the bandanas off, then hands his belt to the referee and stands in a corner across from Alf. BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen...the following contest is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! In this contest, there are no disqualifications, no countouts, anything goes. There is no time limit. Introducing first, to my left...weighing in at 238 1/2 pounds...this man is a bonafide legend in the World of professional wrestling, and tonight he looks for his record fourth Heartland championship! Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger...a former two-time OAOAST champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!![/i] *crowd boos* BUFFER [i]And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent, to my right. He hails from South of Heaven, and weighs in at an even 220 pounds! Maybe the most sadistic man ever to set foot in a pro wrestling ring, this man is a former World tag team champion, and has held his title for six months running! Ladies and gentlemen...introducing, the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...SAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] *crowd cheers* COLE And we are about ready to go! Both men gather in mid-ring with the referee, who raises the belt in the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* The crowd roars in anticipation after hearing the bell. Alf and Sandman face off in mid-ring, talking trash while being showered by flashbulbs. COACH I've got goosebumps, Cole! This is gonna be great! Alf strikes first, drilling Sandman with a right hand! Sandman returns fire, and the two engage in a slugfest! The two tie up, and move over to the ropes, falling through to the floor, and continuing their trading of fists! COLE And we're taking it to the floor already in this one! They continue to trade blows, then Alf grabs a side headlock. Sandman struggles for a split second, then shoves Alf off into the ringpost! COLE Alf shoved hard into the steel! Sandman picks up Alf, and sets up a vertical suplex! Alf blocks, then blocks a second time, before lifting Sandman up himself and dropping him crotch-first over the guardrail! Alf backs up, then clotheslines Sandman, sending him the rest of the way into the crowd! COACH Dangerous territory here! COLE No question, Alf and Sandman now having to fight through the sea of fans... COACH I mean for the fans, it's dangerous! There's no telling what these two will do! Alf rams Sandman's face into a railing deep in the crowd, then scoops him up and slams him on the concrete! Alf grabs a drink from a vendor, takes a swig, then tosses the remains onto Sandman! But this only seems to wake him up, as Sandman fights back with right hands! COLE And the champ fighting back now! The two fight deeper into the crowd, as Alf creates enough space to deliver a foot to the gut, then set up a piledriver! COLE And Alf looking to piledrive Sandman out in the stands! However, Sandman blocks, and backdrops Alf instead! COLE But no, it's Alf who tastes the arena floor this time! Alf tries to roll to safety, as Sandman gives chase, getting a few stomps in. He tosses Alf back over the guardrail, then stands atop it, and drives a forearm into Alf's back. COLE The champion, Sandman9000, with the advantage as we're back in the ring area! Sandman sets up an Irish whip, but Alf counters, sending Sandman into the steel steps! COACH And Sandman dislodging those steel steps, as he hit them shoulder-first! This is a big break for Alf! Alf climbs onto the apron, then climbs to the top rope, and waits for Sandman to get to his feet, before hitting him with a MOONSAULT~! COLE Alf FLYING through the air! Alf lays on the floor for a few seconds, then goes over to grab the steel steps. COACH And now Alf with those steps... Alf raises the steps in the air, but Sandman hits him with a dropkick, and Alf falls back to the floor, with the steps coming right down on his face! COACH Oh no! COLE A dropkick by Sandman, and those steel steps rammed Alf right in the face! Sandman starts firing off right hands, but Alf grabs him by the pants, and pulls him into the ringpost! COLE Nice move by Alf there to by himself some time! Alf shoves Sandman into the ring, then slowly rolls in. Alf stomps away, then picks him up and whips him across the ring. However, he puts his head down, and Sandman catches him with a swinging neckbreaker! COLE Nice neckbreaker by Sandman, Alf getting caught with his head down! Sandman covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman then climbs to the second rope, and comes down with a big knee to the sternum! Sandman rolls to his feet, then drags Alf over to the ropes by his leg. He drapes Alf's leg across the bottom rope, then jumps into the air and comes down on top of it! COLE And now Sandman working over the knee of Alf! Sandman grabs Alf's leg, then stands on his midsection, and jumps over, bending Alf's leg back to his head! COACH This is very smart strategy by Sandman, take out an extremity! Sandman lifts Alf's leg up and delivers a couple kicks, then stands on his other foot, and falls back to the mat with the leg! The crowd cheers on Sandman, as he grabs Alf's leg once again, raising it straight up in the air as he stands at Alf's head, and yanks down on it! He does it once more, then drops an elbow on the leg, then hooks it between his own leg in a leglock! COLE And Sandman further wearing down that leg! Sandman releases the leg hold, then drags Alf to the ropes again, and jumps into the air...but this time, Alf is able to pull his leg out of the way! COLE Nobody home on that one! Alf quickly waistlocks Sandman, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Alf with a suplex, but couldn't get the full impact on that one, because he's unable to put much weight on that knee right now! Both men lay on the mat, then Alf pulls himself to his feet with the ropes. Sandman gets to his feet, and kicks his leg out from behind! COACH He just kicked his leg out of his leg! COLE That one never gets old. :lol: Sandman trips up Alf, and drags him to the ringpost. The crowd buzzes. COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Sandman maybe looking to take a page out of Alf's playbook! However, Alf is able to struggle long enough to avoid the move. Sandman tries it again, but Alf pulls him into the post with his legs! COLE But no, a nice counter move by Alf! Sandman shakes off the cobwebs, then goes under the ring and grabs a BARBED-WIRE CHAIR! COACH Oh, no! COLE And the heavy artillery is coming out now! Sandman rolls into the ring with the chair, as Alf pulls himself to his feet. Sandman raises the chair high overhead, but Alf delivers a kick to the midsection! Alf then delivers a big CHOP~! which knocks Sandman right to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then grabs the chair, and limps over to Sandman, delivering a big shot to the back! COLE Alf strikes first with the chair! Alf then lifts it overhead once again, and brings it down! Alf raises the chair up, drawing boos. He then delivers a snap legdrop, which hurts him about as much as Sandman! COLE And Alf just may have hurt himself further with that move. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up Sandman, and whips him hard across, with Sandman crashing sternum-first into the corner! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf whips Sandman across once again, and charges...but Sandman gets a foot up! Alf staggers back, and Sandman charges in with a clothesline! Sandman then scales the ropes... COLE And Sandman going upstairs! Sandman waits for Alf to get to his feet, and jumps... ...but Alf catches him by the legs, causing Sandman to fall to his back, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf with the Sharpshooter! COACH I can't believe it! Sandman puts his hand over his head, as he struggles towards the ropes. COLE Could Alf do the unthinkable here, and make Sandman submit? Sandman claws his way towards the ropes, and finally makes them. Alf reluctantly breaks, then tosses Sandman into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH And Alf taking his time, giving that leg time to recuperate! You notice he's still got a slight limp out there, but it's coming along! Alf sets Sandman up on the top rope, then follows him up. COLE Well, this will be a good test for it! Alf steps to the top rope, hooks Sandman, and executes a SUPERPLEX~! COLE Big-time superplex from Alf! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Sandman able to kick out! Alf rolls to the outside, and reaches under the ring, pulling out a large gray tub full of assorted weapons. He grabs a piece of wax paper with thumbtacks glued to it, as well as a STAPLE GUN! COACH Is that a staple gun, Cole? COLE I think it is. Alf turns Sandman over onto his stomach, then lays the paper on his back, tacks facing down. He then checks out the staple gun, and STAPLES the paper into Sandman's back! COACH YEOWCH! The crowd groans, as Alf staples all four corners, then groans louder as he raises the barbed-wire chair in the air! COLE Oh my God... Alf brings the chair down onto Sandman's back, driving the tacks into his skin! COACH/COLE :o Alf then does it a second time, then turns him over and covers... COACH That's got to do it. 1... 2... NO! Sandman gets a shoulder up! COLE But Sandman continues to fight! Alf picks up Sandman, and sets up a suplex, but Sandman blocks. He blocks a second time, then lifts Alf, suplexing him onto the chair! COLE And now it's Alf who gets some of the barbed wire! Sandman quickly pulls the sheet off his back, wincing in pain as he removes it. He then wraps the paper around his forearm, tacks out, and drives it into the forehead of Alf, cutting him open! COACH OW! COLE And Alf has been cut open by those tacks, which Sandman drove into his flesh with his forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Sandman fires off right hands on Alf, as Alf uses Sandman's shirt to try to pull himself up. Sandman then delivers kicks, sending Alf to the outside. Alf once again retreats into the crowd, and Sandman gives chase. COACH Here we go again! Alf makes his way into the concession area this time, where Sandman catches up to him. Sandman gets in a few right hands, but Alf shoves a nearby slushy vendor into him, then makes a break for it. Sandman hunts for him, when a fan points out that he went into the restroom. Sandman walks in, and is met with a mop handle to the head! COLE And it appears that Sandman found Alf! Or, rather, Alf found him! Alf stomps away, then grabs a mop bucket, and dumps the contents onto Sandman! COLE Who knows what was in that mop bucket! COACH Hey, isn't that the one you peed in last night after all those Zima's? COLE ... Alf and Sandman trade right hands, as they make their way back to the ring area. Sandman takes advantage on the way back, and tosses Alf back inside, then goes under the ring, and comes up with a BARBED WIRE BOARD~! COLE And it just gets worse. COACH Or better, depending on your view! Sandman slides the board into the ring, then sets up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COACH Oh, not on the board! However, Alf blocks, and backdrops Sandman onto the board! Alf then sets up a powerbomb. COLE And now Alf attempting to put Sandman into the board again! However, Sandman blocks, and counters into a slingshot...with Alf smashing the referee in the corner! COLE And the referee takes a shot! Sandman then hooks Alf, and drives him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And Sandman got it! Cover... COACH Where's the referee? COLE Here he comes! 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! COLE But Alf escapes! COACH This match is unbelieveable, Cole! Sandman grabs the thumbtack sheet and wraps it around his forearm again, raking it across Alf's face as Alf screams in pain. COLE And Sandman opening up that wound some more! Alf rolls to the outside, where Sandman follows and rams him into the timekeeper's table! However, when Sandman goes to pick him up, he gets whacked in the face with the ring bell! COLE And Sandman just had his bell rung right there! COACH And it looks like Sandman's cut now! Alf stomps away at Sandman, and rams his face into the steel steps, then tosses him back inside. He grabs the barbed wire chair, and brings it down onto Sandman's head! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Sandman keeps hanging in there! Alf rolls to the outside, and goes under the ring...coming out with a WEEDWHACKER~! COLE Oh my God. COACH Is that what I think it is, Cole? COLE I think so. Alf slides under the bottom rope, then pulls the string, and holds it up in the air with one hand. The crowd buzzes, as he approaches Sandman! COLE Don't do it, Alf! Alf brings it down, as Sandman holds it away from his face! Sandman then gets in a kick to Alf's groin, and an EDGECRUSHER DDT~! COLE Big move from Sandman! Sandman then points at the weedwhacker, as the crowd cheers. COLE Come on, Sandman, leave it be! Sandman picks it up, and pulls the string a couple times, but it fails to work. The crowd boos, as Sandman drops it outside the ring. Sandman then turns around, right into an Alf superkick! COLE And Alf with a great kick! Alf then climbs to the top rope. COACH Uh-oh, this is it, Cole! Alf gets his balance...and hits the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... ... NO!!! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COACH What??? COLE He kicked out! I can't believe it! Alf can't believe it either, as he confronts the referee. Sandman pulls his way to his feet in the corner, as Alf charges, but Sandman moves out of the way! Sandman delivers forearms to the face, then whips Alf across and catches him with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Alf gets the shoulder up! Sandman then backs into the ropes, and drills him with the YAKUZA KICK~! He then sits Alf down in the corner, and props the barbed-wire board up over him. COLE Could be Van-Terminator time! Sandman climbs the top rope on the other side, gets his balance, and delivers the VAN TERMINATOR~!, driving the barbed-wire board into Alf's face! COACH Oh, no! COLE This looks like the beginning of the end for Alf! Sandman pulls Alf out of the wreckage, then scoops him up, and executes the PSYCHO DRIVAH~!!!!!11111 Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And Sandman has retained his title again! What an incredible match! BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...AAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] COACH Gonna be hard to top this one, Cole! COLE Two of the fiercest competitors in the history of this sport! They spilled their blood all over the L.A. Coliseum, and in the end, it's Sandman9000 once again coming out on top, he is STILL the OAOAST Heartland champion! Sandman finally stirs on the mat, as the referee hands him his belt. He tries to help him up, but Sandman shoves him aside. COLE And there you see the kind of spirit these guys have. Sandman wants to get up and walk out of here on his own power! Sandman falls through the ropes, and walks to the back, his belt draped over his shoulder. COLE Well, folks, believe it or not, we've still got more to come! But this performance will be hard to top for the other competitors! Right now, let's go to...

o/

hahaha, wtf Lakers.

Assuming anyone is interested in HS basketball, the McDonald's All-America game is on ESPN right now. There's this one kid sporting a Kid-N-Play style boxcut. On a somewhat related subject, David Stern apparently wants to raise the age limit again to 20, but this change wouldn't come until a few years down the road.

Get your non-mod ass out of my folder.

BTW, if next year rolls around and you decide you want to choose a different keeper from your team (say, if someone pulls an Elton Brand/Pau Gasol and gets hurt over the summer, and you want to change), feel free. I'm not going to hold you to these, mainly I just want to have a list from everyone so I know whether or not those people will be back next season.

I don't.

Anyone can score 130 against Seattle

OK, here's what I have for keepers right now. Adam: Gilbert Arenas, Rashard Lewis, Josh Howard teke184: Carmelo Anthony, Rip Hamilton, Brandon Roy nogoodnick: Danny Granger, Andre Igoudala, Greg Oden Cena: Steve Nash, Shawn Marion, Manu Ginobili Fökai: Deep_Thought: Baron Davis, Rudy Gay, Carlos Boozer King: Kobe Bryant, Chris Kaman, Zach Randolph HarleyQuinn: Tim Duncan, Emeka Okafor, Mo Williams Vitamin X: LaMarcus Aldridge, Tracy McGrady, David Lee Cuban_Linx: Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Stephen Jackson Alfdogg: Yao Ming, Elton Brand, Jose Calderon MFerXtreme87: Paul Pierce, Mehmet Okur, Mike Miller Will Scarlet: Chris Bosh, Pau Gasol, Monta Ellis Precious Roy: MarvinisaLunatic: Josh Smith, Kevin Martin, Vince Carter Krankor: Dwyane Wade, Deron Williams, Al Jefferson Cartman: Dwight Howard, David West, Hedo Turkoglu IK Cool Jew: Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Kidd, Marcus Camby TheOriginalOrangeGoblin: Allen Iverson, Michael Redd, Tyson Chandler Steviekick: Chris Paul, Antawn Jamison, Caron Butler Any mistakes/changes, let me know.

11/16 here as well, and only missing Duke from my Elite 8.

Thunderkid & Reject vs the Burrough Boys

IU is done. Go away, Eric Gordon. I'm sure you'll be a perfect fit with the Knicks.

Pacers take care of Minnesota and can move to within 1/2 game of the 8 spot with a win in Chicago and losses by the Nets and Hawks, who are at Philly and hosting Orlando, respectively. Hope we saved some threes for tommorrow...17 of them tonight, a team record.