alfdogg

The lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. COLE The Heartland champion about to make his appearance! Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! A figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER [i]The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a title-for-title match! Introducing first, hailing from South of Heaven...weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] COLE And as Michael Buffer just said, both Sandman's and Reject's titles are on the line in this match, just six days before Sandman defends against "After Hours" Felix Strutter at the Halloween Spectacular! Sandman walks slowly down the aisle, then climbs into the ring, removing his bandanas, and calmly waits as [i]Renegade[/i] hits and Reject makes his way through the curtains, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes his opponent! BUFFER [i]His opponent, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the OAOAST International champion of the WORLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!![/i] COACH And Cole, even if Sandman does win this match, how much will he have for Felix in six days? COLE Only time will tell! Reject rolls into the ring and poses on the buckles with his belt, then hands it to the referee. As Sandman hands his to the referee, Reject attempts to attack from behind, but Sandman sees it coming, and ducks, then starts delivering right hands! *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go! Sandman whips Reject into the ropes, then backs into the ropes himself, and catches him with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman catches Reject with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a big headbutt which sends him down to the canvas! He then backs into the ropes as Reject gets to his feet, and catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly slides to the outside, and slaps the apron in frustration. He walks around the ring, taking a count, then climbs onto the apron and starts jawing with ringsiders. COLE Reject really taking his time getting back in there... Reject finally climbs back inside, and moves in for a tieup. Reject gets in a knee to the gut, then a right hand, and a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject scoops up Sandman, but Sandman slides behind the back, and shoves Reject into the ropes for a reverse sunset flip, but Reject hooks the ropes to block! COLE And a nice block by Reject right there! Reject takes more time to play to the fans, however, and Sandman dropkicks him from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE But Sandman stays with it, and Reject out to the floor again! Reject stalls some more, then jaws with the fans from the apron once again, and Sandman pulls him back inside the hard way! Sandman then throws forearms at Reject, backing him into the ropes, as the referee moves him away. Sandman moves the referee out of the way, and charges...but Reject backdrops him to the floor! COACH Good move! COLE Sandman all the way out to the floor! Reject follows Sandman out, and tosses him back inside. He stomps away at him on the mat, then chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. The referee backs him off, and Reject poses to the crowd, drawing boos. He then lifts Sandman in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject whips Sandman across the ring. Sandman ducks a clothesline, then Reject drops down, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Wow, what a spinning kick by Reject! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject drops a fist on Sandman, then climbs to the top rope. He waits for Sandman to get to his feet...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COACH Yeah! COLE Big dropkick! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Oh, here we go again, Hebner! Reject argues with the referee for a bit, then executes a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER~! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Reject gets right up in Hebner's face this time, long enough for Sandman to roll him up from behind! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly knocks Sandman back to the mat, then picks him up and tosses him to the floor. He taunts the crowd once again as Hebner counts. Once Hebner gets close, Reject goes out and gets Sandman, tossing him back inside. He drops another fist on him, then goes to the top rope. COLE And Reject going upstairs! COACH Could be his big elbow! Reject gets his balance, but instead goes for a SOMERSAULT SENTON~!...but Sandman rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home! Both men lay on the mat, as the referee counts... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Sandman sits up, and starts to get to his feet. Reject follows, and charges Sandman as he gets up in the corner, but Sandman moves out of the way! He then grabs Reject from behind, and delivers a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman delivers BOOT SCRAPES~! to Reject as he lays on the mat, then picks him up, and executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Sandman picks Reject up, putting him in a standing headscissors. He lifts him overhead, over his back...and drops with the WIDOW'S PEAK~! COACH Oh no! COLE That could be it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE And Reject, to his credit, keeps on fighting! Sandman goes to pick him up again, but Reject goes to the eyes. COACH And still thinking offense! Sandman staggers back into the ropes, and Reject charges, but gets dumped over the top! Reject catches himself on the apron, but Sandman knocks him to the floor with a YAKUZA KICK~! COLE BIG kick from Sandman, and Reject to the outside! Sandman backs into the ropes, and leaps out with a HANDS-FREE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE And Sandman flies to the outside! Sandman delivers some right hands, then rolls back inside. Reject slowly crawls to the apron, and Sandman tries to pull him in, but the referee steps in between and backs Sandman off. This gives Reject time to go into his tights. COLE Uh-oh, Reject could have some sort of foreign object here... Reject applies a set of brass knuckles, as Sandman makes his way back over, and takes a big swing, which Sandman ducks, and tries to bring him in with a back suplex, but Reject pops him with the knucks! COLE I don't think the referee noticed it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH Come ON, ref! Reject gets to his feet, and backs Hebner into a corner. Sandman works his way to his feet, and charges, but Reject moves, and shoves Sandman into Hebner! COLE And Earl Hebner gets sandwiched there between Sandman and the buckles! Sandman turns around, and gets caught with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY~! Reject with the cover... Hebner crawls slowly over, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH What's going on? Reject gets to his knees, and Hebner grabs his hand, which still has the knucks on it, then points to them and waves his arms before conferring with Buffer. BUFFER [i]The winner of the match, as a result of a disqualification...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMA AAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!![/i] COACH Where the hell do you come up with that? Reject gets to his feet and walks over to Hebner, who pleads his case, and Reject nods his head in agreement, then turns to walk away...but instead suddenly delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 to Hebner! COLE And now the Eulogy on Earl Hebner! COACH Good, he deserves it! Sandman then slugs away at Reject, taking him down to the mat, when Felix Strutter runs to the ring... COLE And here comes Felix Strutter... COACH Oh my GOD... COLE ...and look who's behind him! Stalking to the ring behind Strutter is none other than DEON BLACK! COLE It's that MONSTER, the Manitoba Mammoth, Deon Black! We haven't seen him in MONTHS! COACH Felix said he had a big surprise tonight, and it don't get no bigger than this man! Black steps over the top rope, and grabs Sandman, knocking him to the mat with a headbutt! Reject heads down the aisle as Black continues to hammer away. COACH Look at the size of this man, Cole! Black goozles Sandman, and executes a BIG chokeslam! COLE One-armed chokeslam! Black then picks up Sandman again, and scoops him up onto this shoulders...then brings him around for the SWAN RIVER SLAM~!!!!!11111 COLE What a devastating maneuver! Black slowly gets to his feet, and holds his arms out as the crowd boos. Strutter poses along with him as [i]Girls, Girls, Girls[/i] plays. COLE This MONSTER has come back to the OAOAST and has decimated the Heartland champion here tonight! What does this mean for the Halloween Spectacular? Black and Strutter continue to taunt the crowd as the camera cuts to the back.

Ha. I might actually have that card somewhere. I was a fairly big collector around that time.

No, I shut it down. We sat around for like three weeks with only four teams, so I just said screw it. Sorry.

ID: 1901 password: tsm

Apparently the latest Kobe rumor had him going to Detroit for Hamilton/Prince/Amir Johnson and a first-rounder.

So Q-Rich is back on the board. For the next few picks, anyway.

The Strutter promo and match need to go before the Reject-Sandman match. Josh Matthews stands backstage with "After Hours" Felix Strutter. JOSH Felix Strutter, we found out last week that you have been granted a rematch for the OAOAST Heartland title against Sandman9000, and that match will take place in six days at OAOAST's Halloween Spectacular! Your thoughts? STRUTTER You know, Josh, people ask me every day, "Felix, you used to be such a nice guy, why did you become so "cocky""? Well, there's nothing wrong with being confident in your abilities...that's not being cocky. And do you know why I'm so confident in my abilities? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd cheers* STRUTTER Do you know why I became a two-time Heartland champion? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd cheers* STRUTTER And do you know why I left this LOSER country, Canada, and moved to Cali? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd BOOS, as Josh looks on in shock.* STRUTTER And Sandman9000...you may be a scary dude to most people, you may have a threshhold for pain like no other man! But in just six days, I'm gonna come knocking on your door...and the treat I take back, will be my OAOAST Heartland championship. You know why? *Strutter looks at Josh, who starts to talk, before Strutter stops him and smiles.* STRUTTER Because I'm a winner. *crowd boos* STRUTTER But don't worry, I'm not going to let you go empty handed...I've got a BIG treat, a BIG surprise for you, right here later tonight. So just stick around. Strutter walks off, as Josh looks on. *Back to Sofa Central* COLE Well, Felix Strutter letting us know that he's relocated, apparently, and that he's also got a surprise for Sandman later tonight, what could that possibly be? COACH I don't know, but I'm anxious to see it! COLE Well, you and me both, but coming up... You can just tie that in to whatever comes after, if you want. [color="#FF69B4"][b]Je t'adore, Je t'adore...[/b][/color] [i]Girls, Girls, Girls[/i] hits, as Felix Strutter makes his way into the pink strobe that engulfs the entryway, to the boos of the crowd. COLE Well, we heard from this man earlier tonight, and now we're going to see Felix Strutter in action! Let's go to the ring! BUFFER [i]The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring...now residing in San Jose, California...[/i] *crowd boos* [i]weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX XXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!![/i] COACH San Jose, huh? He's got good taste! COLE Expensive, too! COACH Yeah, but look at this guy, look at what he's accomplished, he can handle it! I mean, this guy's got to be the frontrunner right now for Most Improved Wrestler in the OAOAST! Strutter rolls into the ring and poses, taunting fans along the way, as they boo him. BUFFER [i]His opponent...from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 215 pounds...Gary Carpenter![/i] *DING DING DING* COLE Gary Carpenter, the opposition for "After Hours" Felix Strutter here tonight! The two circle the ring and tie up, and Strutter grabs a side headlock. Carpenter shoves him off, and Strutter comes back with a shoulder check, taking Carpenter down to the mat. Strutter then goes to the ropes again, hops over Carpenter, then reverses Carpenter's attempted hiptoss to one of his own! COLE And a nice counter there by Felix Strutter! Strutter plays to the crowd, drawing boos, as Carpenter gets to his feet. The two tie up again, as this time it's Carpenter who grabs the side headlock. Strutter shoves him off, and drops down. Carpenter ducks an elbow, then goes for a flying bodypress, but Strutter drops down again, and Carpenter crashes into the mat! COACH More smart thinking from Felix! Strutter points to his head, indicating as such, as the crowd boos. He then picks up Carpenter, and drops him throat-first across the top rope. He then grabs him in another side headlock. He picks him up to his feet, then goes for a slam...but Carpenter slides behind the back, and executes a scoop slam! COACH Whoa! COLE And look at Gary Carpenter mount some offense here! Carpenter executes a second scoop slam, as the crowd starts to get behind him! He then whips Strutter into the ropes, and attempts a dropkick, but Strutter hooks the ropes, and Carpenter takes a bad spill again! COACH Don't get too excited, Cole! Felix isn't going to be thrown off his game that easy! Strutter picks up Carpenter in a corner, and stomps away, then brings him out and executes a DDT! He then picks up Carpenter, and underhooks him. COACH Here it is, Cole! Strutter lifts Carpenter, and brings him down with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111 COLE Thunder Bay Throttle, put it in the book! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]The winner of the match..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX XXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!![/i] COLE Felix Strutter ready for Sandman9000 in six days at the Halloween Spectacular, but we've still got more to come tonight, as he's promised a big surprise for the reigning Heartland champion! [i]Shine[/i] by Collective Soul hits, and Quentin Benjamin comes through the curtains, followed by Charlie Moss. COLE Team Heyross ready for action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a total combined weight of 480 pounds...the team of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S!!!!![/i] The crowd boos, with some cheers scattered in between. Benjamin climbs onto the apron, then climbs onto the second rope on the corner nearest the main camera, and looks into the camera, holding out his arms, then points into the camera while talking some trash. Meanwhile, Moss climbs into the ring and raises his arms, then jogs slowly in place. COACH I see some big times ahead for Team Heyross, Cole, I can just feel it coming! These guys are due! BUFFER [i]Their opponents...first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 245 pounds...Todd Howard![/i] Howard raises his hands, to a golf clap from the crowd. [i]His partner, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 220 pounds...Troy Beckett![/i] *DING DING DING* COLE And it'll be Quentin Benjamin starting things off here, along with Troy Beckett out of Anaheim, California! Benjamin and Beckett circle the ring, and tie up. Benjamin grabs a side headlock, and Beckett backs him into the ropes and shoves him across. Beckett runs across the other way, and we get a CRISS CROSS~! COACH Oh, it's the old criss-cross, Cole! After three trips, Benjamin makes a blind tag to Moss, and keeps running. He hops over Beckett, then Moss steps in and double leg trips him from behind. Benjamin follows this up with a legdrop to the back of the head! COLE Nice teamwork from Team Heyross, resulting in the legdrop! Moss picks up Beckett, and executes a vertical suplex, floating over for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss attempts an Irish whip, but Beckett reverses. Beckett puts his head down, however, and Moss delivers a kick! Moss follows with a savate kick, then a butterfly suplex! Moss starts to pull Beckett over to the corner, but Beckett holds onto Moss, then delivers a headbutt to the midsection, and tags in Howard. COLE And how about that move by Troy Beckett, able to make the tag, and now it's Todd Howard out of Philly! Howard immediately gets caught in an armdrag, however, and Moss bars the arm. Moss wrenches on it as Howard gets to his feet, then scoops him up, and executes a rib breaker! He then tags Benjamin back in, before barring the arm once again. COACH See, these guys are smart! Great teamwork! Benjamin goes to the top, and comes down with a chop onto the shoulder of Howard! He then tags Moss right back in, and Moss runs to the ropes, as Benjamin gets behind Howard, and they complete the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COLE And there's the Double Goozle! COACH It's about go-time, Cole! Moss runs over and knocks Beckett off the apron, as Benjamin climbs to the outside and climbs to the top. Moss slaps his hand, then lifts Howard onto his shoulders, and Benjamin completes the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE And that'll close the book on this one! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]The winners of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S!!!!![/i] COLE Team Heyross impressive as always, and for once, I agree with the Coach, better times no doubt ahead for these two great athletes!

OK, I sent the pick to Deep_Thought. Here's the deal: If Deep_Thought posts his pick for him, but he still gets in here before teke does, then he can change it to whoever he was wanting to pick.

So, will anyone be on at 7 AM ET (OOG's deadline)? If so, let me know, so I can send you his autopick in case he doesn't show up.

I don't think Luger was ever officially in the DOD, was he?

He could call it the Stunnava Gun. ... O/\O

They did, according to the Wolves' website. Davis and Blount to Miami for Walker, Doleac, Simien, a first-rounder and cash considerations.

Fake or not, the vaccuming line is still money.

I think there was nutmeg involved, as well. I can't remember. It didn't taste any different from regular Pepsi to me.

I recall it being, like, pale yellow, sort of midway between clear and lemonade. I could be wrong, though, and most likely am. It was good, but my favorite was Citrus Cooler.

Drew would out battle-beat you in a game of wits.

I'm not even waiting on Adam anymore, btw. If I come on and it's his pick, I'm drafting for him. If he doesn't like it, tough. I'm not being unsympathetic towards his situation, but if he had time to come on here and issue an apology or whatever, then he could have let us know that he may possibly disappear again this week.

Alonzo Mourning, C

nick's pick is Juan Carlos Navarro. I'll have my pick shortly.

Looks like everyone had pretty much the same idea in this round. Thornton was actually my second choice after Carroll.

The Utah/LAL game tommorrow is cancelled due to the fires.

Ha. You picked the same pic for Wally as I did.