Angel_Grace_Blue

Yes childrens, the border run is back, at least temporarily. I figured, with those Haitian death squads, there's a reason to go to that part of the world. So, you fuckers make some requests of things in the Mexican/Central/South American/Caribbean islands area and shit. Or something. Damn I'm lame. Just ask for death squads and ponchos made of tacos.

I think seven people still recall when I got fucking bored and used SWF folk in Oregon Trail games and what have you. Boredom set in again, so I played two quick games, one with Memphis Eel as the leader of the party, and one with Zed leading. Comment upon the horribleness and even put your name in a 'hat' to be used in upcoming trailings. Or just yell at me to go away for good. Take your picks. February 28, 1858 Here begins the journal of Memphis Eel, formerly a doctor. Tomorrow we leave Council Bluffs behind to begin our journey west to Oregon City. We must still purchase the supplies that our large farmwagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek. I hope that the following skills will prove of some use along the trail: medical, blacksmithing, tracking. March 1, 1858 Decided not to buy a package deal. I can do better on my own! Purchased 25 boxes of 20 bullets, 15 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 2 rifles, 2 rifle or shotgun sheaths. Purchased 20 yards of brown muslin cloth, 15 30-yard spools of mending yarn. Purchased 5 6-oz. bottles of allspice, 5 8-oz. bottles of alum, 4 16-oz. bottles of ammonia, 1 ax, 300 pounds of bacon, 25 5-lb. tins of biscuits, 5 blankets, 2 16-oz. boxes of borax, 20 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 2 butcher knives, 15 pounds of butter, 1 butter churn, 2 8-oz. bottles of camomile, 3 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 6 dozen candles, 10 pounds of candy, 10 8-oz. cans of sardines, 3 canteens, 2 16-oz. bottles of castor oil, 15 pounds of celery, 10 pounds of cheese, 50 pounds of coffee beans, 1 coffee mill, 1 coffee pot, 1 compass, 20 10-lb. sacks of cornmeal, 20 5-lb. tins of crackers, 2 8-oz. jars of dandelion, 2 decks of playing cards, 1 8-oz. box of Dover's Powder, 15 10-lb. sacks of dried beans, 20 5-lb. tins of dried bread, 10 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 10 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 1 8-oz. bottle of Duffy's Elixir, 10 12-oz. bottles of epsom salts, 2 fishing nets, 2 fishing poles, 2 fishing spears, 75 10-lb. sacks of flour, 1 flute, 5 5-lb. sacks of garlic, 15 10-lb. jars of grease, 30 pounds of ham, 2 hammers, 2 harmonicas, 4 hatchets, 5 16-oz. jars of honey, 1 hunting knife, 4 4-oz. bottles of iodine, 15 16-oz. bottles of isopropyl alcohol, 1 4-oz. box of James Fever Powder, 4 lanterns, 15 16-oz. tins of lantern oil, 20 5-lb. slabs of lard, 2 1-lb. jars of licorice, 2 8-oz. bottles of linseed oil, 15 16-oz. tins of maple syrup, 10 boxes of matches, 10 16-oz. jars of molasses, 2 16-oz. bottles of olive oil, 5 10-lb. sacks of onions, 10 oxen, 2 pails, 35 pounds of pemmican, 10 8-oz. bottles of pepper, 2 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 2 pick axes, 1 25-lb. keg of pickles, 1 pitchfork, 3 20-lb. sacks of potatoes, 20 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes, 5 8-oz. jars of preserves, 3 10-lb. sacks of rhubarb, 10 20-lb. sacks of rice, 5 30-foot lengths of rope, 10 3-lb. boxes of saleratus, 50 10-lb. sacks of salt, 50 pounds of salt pork, 2 4-oz. bottles of sarsaparilla, 2 6-oz. bottles of sassafras, 1 saw, 6 sets of clothing, 1 set of cooking utensils, 6 sets of eating utensils, 1 shovel, 10 1-lb. tins of smoked salmon, 20 10-bar boxes of soap, 2 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 15 10-lb. sacks of sugar, 15 pounds of tea, 30 5-lb. sacks of tobacco, 10 16-oz. bottles of turpentine, 4 30-lb. kegs of vinegar, 1 washboard, 5 water kegs, 14 gallon jugs of whiskey, 4 8-oz. bottles of witch hazel, 5 5-lb. boxes of yeast cake. Purchased 1 checkers board and set, 16 gallon jugs of whiskey. Purchased 6 chickens, 2 milk cows, 2 pigs, 6 spare ox yokes. Purchased 4 8-oz. jars of aloe vera, 2 4-oz. bottles of calomel, 2 4-oz. bottles of capsicum, 6 8-oz. bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 2 4-oz. bottles of ipecac, 3 4-oz. bottles of laudanum, 2 6-oz. bottles of lecithin, 3 12-oz. bottles of magnesia, 4 4-oz. bottles of quinine, 4 6-oz. bottles of sulfur. Purchased 3 spare wagon axles, 2 spare wagon tongues, 4 spare wagon wheels, 1 wagon cover, 2 oxen. Purchased 1 large farmwagon, 4 oxen. Came to Kanesville Crossing of the Missouri River. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 13 pounds of meat. Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds. I hope the rest of the guys won't be angry that I had to get so much grease and lard, but it's tough to keep my hair the way it is. Even if they are, they're probably angrier at Crowbar for whining about getting candy and shit. I swear, first chance, I'm killing him or abandoning him along the trail. I wish I could understand that Kid Rock guy. He was trying to tell me something important, I think, but damned if I couldn't tell what he was saying. I think it was about hot dogs. He's freaky. I hope we have enough food for that Fort guy. He's pretty big. And always pissed at Cavern. March 2, 1858 Our wagon fell through the ice. We lost 5 boxes of 20 bullets; 2 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder; 1 rifle; 1 rifle or shotgun sheath; 1 yard of brown muslin cloth; and various other items. Near Florence, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances. Purchased 4 30-foot lengths of chain, 10 pounds of nails. Purchased 22 pounds of bacon, 10 boxes of 20 bullets, 2 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 4 boxes of matches, 1 rifle, 8 5-lb. sacks of tobacco, 7 gallon jugs of whiskey. GOD DAMN IT ALL! I'll never listen to that Carbuncle guy again. He claimed his brother was a trail guide and he knew about this kind of stuff. Dumb lying bastard. On another note, since my uncle was mauled by a bear in '52, I vow to kill any and every bear I come across. France suggested we start a band, and we've put Coburn on flute, cause he's a pansy. And, we hate him. So much. That Forbes guy is always going on about having whiskey and tobacco. I tend to agree with him. Getting drunk and beating Cardboard is damn fun. March 4, 1858 A milk cow died today. Passed Elkhorn River. The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go. We lost 4 boxes of 20 bullets; 6 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder; 2 yards of brown muslin cloth; 2 30-yard spools of mending yarn; and various other items when our wagon fell through the ice. March 5, 1858 Enjoyed some good fiddle music today during our nooning near Liberty Pole. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 178 pounds of meat. March 6, 1858 Now I'm not going to listen to Clam or Kenny McCormick March 7, 1858 Craven has a bad cold. We're going to administer vinegar. Hopefully this'll finish Crabmeat off for good. Damn bastard. March 8, 1858 We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of Pawnee Village. March 9, 1858 Kid Cools has a concussion. We're going to use camphor for stimulation. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 173 pounds of meat. March 10, 1858 Still no bears. Those bastards probably know I'm coming and are all hiding. I'll get 'em, though. I'm not sure, but I think Capricorn's getting worse, which is a plus. It's a shame that Kid Clambake is all concussed. Forest wanted to get him drunk, but I told him that wasn't the best way to go. March 11, 1858 Passed the hundred mile mark today. We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to continue at a distance. March 12, 1858 Broke a wagon axle today. We will have to try to repair it. We were successful. March 13, 1858 It is mighty cold today. We’re going to slow down. Arrived at Loup River, despite some “help” from Nicholas J. Tillman. Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds. March 15, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 194 pounds of meat. March 17, 1858 We lost a chicken today. [name] [have/has] been suffering from frostbite. We hope to gradually warm affected area. It is mighty cold today. We’re going to continue as usual. March 18, 1858 The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual. Encamped a while near Mormon Island. March 20, 1858 The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual. March 21, 1858 It is mighty cold today. We’re going to continue as usual. March 22, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 191 pounds of meat. March 23, 1858 The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual. Still no bear, but rest assured, I'll find and kill them. March 24, 1858 The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual. We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to approach them. We talked to them. Arrived at Deep Ravines. March 27, 1858 Who would have thought that vinegar could cure a damn cold? March 29, 1858 Spotted a group of strangers. We decided to approach them. They moved on. March 31, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 128 pounds of meat. April 6, 1858 Heard some gunfire in the distance near Sandy Bluffs. Much concern all around. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 216 pounds of meat. April 7, 1858 Ha! Twelve bears have fallen victim to the mighty Memphis Eel's wrath! April 8, 1858 Duststorm today. We hope for rain. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. April 9, 1858 The fog was awful this morning. We decided to continue as usual. April 11, 1858 The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to stop and rest awhile. The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. April 12, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. April 13, 1858 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. April 14, 1858 Today came to Cedar Bluffs. April 16, 1858 Rested the animals near Castle Bluffs. April 18, 1858 Passed some time near Ancient Bluffs. April 19, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 184 pounds of meat. April 21, 1858 Near Chimney Rock Vista, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances. Got a bear, and some antelope. They just piss me off. April 23, 1858 This morning it was very foggy. We decided to continue as usual. April 25, 1858 Today we have traveled 500 miles. April 26, 1858 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. Reached North Platte River. Decided to ford the river. We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. We swamped the wagon in the river and lost 3 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder; 2 yards of brown muslin cloth; 1 30-yard spool of mending yarn; and various other items. Today our labors were rewarded with the sight of Fort Laramie. Purchased 1 spare wagon axle. Purchased 3 oxen, 2 spare ox yokes. Purchased 3 16-oz. boxes of borax, 5 boxes of 20 bullets, 2 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 2 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 30 pounds of ham, 5 hunting knives, 2 lanterns, 10 boxes of matches, 1 25-lb. keg of pickles, 10 10-lb. sacks of salt, 3 sets of clothing, 1 30-lb. keg of vinegar, 14 gallon jugs of whiskey. April 27, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near Register Cliff. April 28, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to approach them. We talked to them. A thief stole 3 boxes of 20 bullets; 1 25-lb. keg of gunpowder; 2 yards of brown muslin cloth; 3 30-yard spools of mending yarn; and various other items from our wagon. I decided to search for the thief. We did not find the thief or our supplies. April 29, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. April 30, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 196 pounds of meat. Yes! Got five bears! I hate them. So much. May 1, 1858 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. May 3, 1858 Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Ayers Natural Bridge. May 6, 1858 The fog is as thick as pea soup. I reckon we'll continue as usual. May 7, 1858 We endured an extremely severe thunderstorm today. We decided to slow down. May 8, 1858 The trail continues to provide wonders and surprises! Today we made it to North Platte River. Decided to ford the river. After some concern that we were lost, we saw Mormon Ferry Trading Post in the distance. Purchased 20 pounds of bacon, 10 5-lb. tins of biscuits, 5 10-lb. sacks of flour. May 9, 1858 Today we saw Emigrant Gap. How sublime it appears by moonlight. May 10, 1858 Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Willow Springs. I suspect he cheats. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 198 pounds of meat. What the hell is that moron talking about? Seeing the elephant? Damn hippie bastards. I bet he's on the reefer. Just added three more bears to my death total. May 11, 1858 The fog was awful this morning. We decided to continue as usual. May 12, 1858 Got as far as Independence Rock today. Heard some gunfire in the distance near Devil’s Gate. Much concern all around. Ha! This like, six year old's best friend drowned. I'm planning on pushing her into the river when I get a chance. This'll be sweet. May 15, 1858 Saw buzzards circling today not too far from Split Rock. If I were superstitious, I’d call it a bad omen. May 16, 1858 Nooned late today not far from Three Crossings. Much grumbling today about Nick Tillman near Sweetwater River. Decided to ford the river. Is this kid on the reefer? Asking which way is west as the damn sun is setting! I might beat him with a sack filled with bars of soap. That'll be sweet. May 18, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. May 19, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 20, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 21, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 22, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. May 23, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. May 24, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. May 25, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. May 26, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 27, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 28, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 29, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 30, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. May 31, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve. June 1, 1858 Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to wait for conditions to improve. Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll slow down. June 2, 1858 Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll slow down. As expected, we made it to Ice Spring Slough today. Son of a bitch! Met an Irishman, and he didn't have any whiskey to trade. Then again, he probably has a shit load, but won't trade any of it. June 3, 1858 The fog is as thick as pea soup. I reckon we'll continue as usual. June 4, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 234 pounds of meat. June 5, 1858 We tipped the wagon and lost 2 boxes of 20 bullets; 1 rifle or shotgun sheath; 1 30-yard spool of mending yarn; 1 6-oz. bottle of allspice; and various other items. Got three more bears to the death toll. June 6, 1858 Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 rifle; 3 yards of brown muslin cloth; 13 pounds of bacon; 2 blankets; 2 16-oz. bottles of brandy; and various other items. June 7, 1858 Near Lander Cutoff, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances. Purchased 5 5-lb. tins of crackers, 10 5-lb. tins of dried bread, 10 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 15 pounds of pemmican, 4 20-lb. sacks of rice, 2 30-foot lengths of rope, 5 3-lb. boxes of saleratus, 5 gallon jugs of whiskey. The trail brought us to Final Sweetwater River Crossing today. Fording the river looks to be our best option. June 8, 1858 We came across an abandoned wagon and decided to search it for something useful. We found: 3 pairs of mittens; 1 hope chest. Today our labors were rewarded with the sight of South Pass. Nooned near Pacific Springs. June 9, 1858 Today we have traveled for 100 days. Mr. and Mrs. Billings came by for a visit today near Dry Sandy; had a very nice chat. Today our eyes were greeted with the sight of “Parting of the Ways”. June 10, 1858 The wagon train reached Haystack Butte this day. June 12, 1858 Saw a grave dug up by wolves near Green River--bones scattered about. A most distressing sight! Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across. June 14, 1858 We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of Branley Pass. June 15, 1858 Mr. and Mrs. Billings came by for a visit today near Emigrant Spring; had a very nice chat. June 16, 1858 We laid by today near West End of the Sublette Cutoff. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 209 pounds of meat. Yes! Two more bear. And a few mountain goats, too. I just hope Cranberry doesn't befoul the carcasses like he did before. He's got problems. June 17, 1858 Came to Thomas Fork. June 18, 1858 Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Smith’s Trading Post Site. I suspect he cheats. June 20, 1858 Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Soda Springs. I suspect he cheats. June 21, 1858 As expected, we made it to Hudspeth Cutoff at Sheep Rock today. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 176 pounds of meat. Take that! Five bears! June 22, 1858 The mosquitoes on this stretch of the trail are most bothersome. We will continue. June 24, 1858 Today we have traveled 1,000 miles! June 25, 1858 A milk cow died today. Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near West End of the Lander Cutoff. I suspect he cheats. June 27, 1858 Had a pleasant talk with Miss Whitney today in the vicinity of Fort Hall. Purchased 1 spare wagon tongue. June 28, 1858 Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near American Falls. June 29, 1858 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 207 pounds of meat. June 30, 1858 Passed Raft River. Decided to ford the river. Came to California Trail Junction. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train. Five more bears no longer live. The jerks. July 1, 1858 From now on, ten hours of travel per day. July 2, 1858 July 3, 1858 The trail continues to provide wonders and surprises! Today we made it to Caldron Linn. July 4, 1858 Today is Independence Day and we've decided to continue. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 195 pounds of meat. July 5, 1858 Nooned near Rock Creek. Decided to ford the river. Five more bears are dead. I bet I've killed around thirty, if not much more. I'm upset that I still haven't been able to kill Crabapple. July 6, 1858 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to slow down. July 7, 1858 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to slow down. July 8, 1858 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to try to clear the path. July 10, 1858 Just learned that one of the oxen was injured. We’re going to rest here awhile. From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Kanaka Rapids today, and sure enough, there it was! July 11, 1858 Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Thousand Springs. I suspect he cheats. Today we saw Upper Salmon Falls. What a sight! July 12, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. Happened upon a fresh grave near Three Islands. A reminder of the hazards we all face on the this journey. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 200 pounds of meat. July 13, 1858 Got two more bears! Ha! July 14, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Bruneau Sand Dunes today, and he was right. July 15, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. The mosquitoes are driving us crazy, keeping us awake at night. We must continue. July 16, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. Stopped at noon near Bruneau River and rested from our morning’s labors. Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go. July 17, 1858 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Mr. Tillman claims it's the Oregon Territory up ahead, but the guidebook says it's Castle Butte. July 18, 1858 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. July 19, 1858 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. As expected, we made it to Givens Hot Springs today. July 20, 1858 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. July 21, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. July 22, 1858 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. July 23, 1858 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Saw some Indians in the distance not far from East Cow Hollow. No incident, but some concern. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 213 pounds of meat. Approached Lytle Pass today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey. The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Three more bears have met a horrible, painful death. July 24, 1858 I just learned that Frost has smallpox. I reckon we'll apply aloe to the skin lesions. As expected, we made it to Malheur River today. Fording the river looks to be our best option. I hope that Freud gets better. He's fun to get drunk with. July 25, 1858 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. Nooned late today not far from Farewell Bend. July 26, 1858 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. As expected, we made it to Burnt River Canyon today. July 27, 1858 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. July 28, 1858 Frost has come down with smallpox. It seems we'll use antiseptic on the skin lesions. July 29, 1858 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. August 1, 1858 The animals are exhausted and can't continue. I've decided to stop and rest awhile. August 2, 1858 We suffered a terrible loss. Frost has died of smallpox. We plan to provide a proper burial. Came to Flagstaff Hill. August 5, 1858 We rested a while not far from Grande Ronde River. Decided to ford the river. August 7, 1858 Saw Emigrant Springs today. August 8, 1858 Arrived at Deadman Pass. August 9, 1858 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to continue as usual. Approached Doe Canyon today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey. Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near Umatilla Valley. August 10, 1858 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to continue as usual. August 12, 1858 The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to stop and rest awhile. August 13, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. Much grumbling today about Nick Tillman near Umatilla River. Decided to ford the river. August 14, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. Found ourselves at Echo Meadows this day. Got a nasty splinter in my thumb, but extracted it without too much difficulty. August 15, 1858 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to continue as usual. We found some wild fruit and decided to stop and gather fruit. We gathered 6 pounds. August 17, 1858 Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Four Mile Canyon today, and he was right. August 18, 1858 Dreadful thunderstorm today. I figured it was best to continue as usual. August 20, 1858 Our expectations of reaching McDonald Ford of the John Day River were fulfilled this day. Fording the river looks to be our best option. August 21, 1858 A sudden thunderstorm caught us on the trail. I decided it is best to continue as usual. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 213 pounds of meat. August 22, 1858 Found a clean, well-formed ox skull a short ways from Biggs Junction; tempted to take it with me, but decided against it. Arrived at Deschutes River today. Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go. Yes! Ten bears dead this time around! August 24, 1858 Commenced early today; saw Camp Dalles. Purchased 1 30-foot length of chain. Purchased 4 10-lb. sacks of flour, 2 gallon jugs of whiskey. Our wagon tipped over while rafting. We lost 1 box of 20 bullets; 2 yards of brown muslin cloth; 2 30-yard spools of mending yarn; 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; and various other items. Saw McCord Creek, sight is most reassuring. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 137 pounds of meat. August 25, 1858 Our wagon tipped over while rafting. We lost 4 boxes of 20 bullets; 3 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder; 2 yards of brown muslin cloth; 2 30-yard spools of mending yarn; and various other items. Purchased 10 pounds of bacon, 10 pounds of celery. While rafting, we lost 2 boxes of 20 bullets; 1 rifle; 1 yard of brown muslin cloth; 1 16-oz. bottle of brandy; 1 hatchet; and various other items. Arrived today at Oregon City!! At last we have reached our destination! Truly this is the land of opportunity! Another bear down! October 20, 1858 Final Score: 3293 Yay Eelz0r! He killed around thirty or more bears, which is always good. Now for teh zany Zed: May 31, 1853 Here begins the journal of Zed, formerly a merchant. Tomorrow we leave St. Joseph behind to begin our journey west to Sacramento. We must still purchase the supplies that our small farmwagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek. I hope that the following skills will prove of some use along the trail: riverwork, carpentry, commerce/trade. June 1, 1853 Decided not to buy a package deal. I can do better on my own! Purchased 2 spare ox yokes, 2 spare wagon axles, 2 spare wagon tongues, 4 spare wagon wheels, 2 wagon covers, 6 oxen, 4 mules. Purchased 4 8-oz. bottles of alum, 6 16-oz. bottles of ammonia, 2 axes, 300 pounds of bacon, 1 banjo, 20 5-lb. tins of biscuits, 6 blankets, 4 16-oz. boxes of borax, 10 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 20 yards of brown muslin cloth, 25 boxes of 20 bullets, 2 butcher knives, 15 pounds of butter, 1 butter churn, 5 8-oz. bottles of camomile, 6 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 15 dozen candles, 15 8-oz. cans of sardines, 6 canteens, 3 16-oz. bottles of castor oil, 50 pounds of celery, 1 checkers board and set, 15 pounds of cheese, 25 pounds of coffee beans, 2 coffee mills, 1 coffee pot, 15 10-lb. sacks of cornmeal, 5 5-lb. tins of crackers, 10 8-oz. jars of dandelion, 3 decks of playing cards, 2 8-oz. boxes of Dover's Powder, 10 10-lb. sacks of dried beans, 5 5-lb. tins of dried bread, 10 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 20 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 2 8-oz. bottles of Duffy's Elixir, 6 12-oz. bottles of epsom salts, 1 fishing net, 2 fishing poles, 3 fishing spears, 50 10-lb. sacks of flour, 8 5-lb. sacks of garlic, 10 10-lb. jars of grease, 5 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 75 pounds of ham, 3 hammers, 1 harmonica, 4 hatchets, 5 16-oz. jars of honey, 4 hunting knives, 8 4-oz. bottles of iodine, 8 16-oz. bottles of isopropyl alcohol, 1 4-oz. box of James Fever Powder, 6 lanterns, 25 16-oz. tins of lantern oil, 5 5-lb. slabs of lard, 6 1-lb. jars of licorice, 5 8-oz. bottles of linseed oil, 5 16-oz. tins of maple syrup, 15 boxes of matches, 5 30-yard spools of mending yarn, 1 mirror, 20 16-oz. jars of molasses, 50 20-lb. sacks of oats, 3 16-oz. bottles of olive oil, 5 10-lb. sacks of onions, 2 pails, 50 pounds of pemmican, 3 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 2 pick axes, 4 25-lb. kegs of pickles, 2 pitchforks, 10 20-lb. sacks of potatoes, 30 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes, 15 8-oz. jars of preserves, 5 10-lb. sacks of rhubarb, 4 20-lb. sacks of rice, 8 30-foot lengths of rope, 1 saddle, 2 saddle blankets, 10 3-lb. boxes of saleratus, 30 10-lb. sacks of salt, 50 pounds of salt pork, 3 4-oz. bottles of sarsaparilla, 3 6-oz. bottles of sassafras, 2 saws, 4 sets of clothing, 1 set of cooking utensils, 4 sets of eating utensils, 2 shovels, 20 10-bar boxes of soap, 4 spare horse or mule harnesses, 3 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 10 10-lb. sacks of sugar, 20 pounds of tea, 40 5-lb. sacks of tobacco, 4 16-oz. bottles of turpentine, 3 30-lb. kegs of vinegar, 2 washboards, 5 water kegs, 18 gallon jugs of whiskey, 10 8-oz. bottles of witch hazel, 6 5-lb. boxes of yeast cake. Purchased 3 pairs of boots, 3 hats, 10 pairs of long underwear, 3 pairs of mittens, 3 pairs of pants, 4 raincoats, 6 shirts, 3 pairs of shoes, 15 pairs of socks, 3 winter coats, 3 winter scarves. Purchased 10 boxes of 20 bullets, 3 rifles, 4 rifle or shotgun sheaths. Purchased 5 pounds of candy, 1 fishing net, 6 oxen, 10 1-lb. tins of smoked salmon. Purchased 2 8-oz. jars of aloe vera, 2 4-oz. bottles of calomel, 3 4-oz. bottles of capsicum, 6 8-oz. bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 4 4-oz. bottles of ipecac, 3 4-oz. bottles of laudanum, 2 6-oz. bottles of lecithin, 2 12-oz. bottles of magnesia, 3 4-oz. bottles of quinine, 5 6-oz. bottles of sulfur. Purchased 3 chickens, 1 milk cow, 1 pig, 5 bales of hay, 2 pack saddles, 10 spare horseshoes. Traded 4 20-lb. sacks of oats for 20 dollars. Traded 1 20-lb. sack of oats for 1 ox. Traded 2 10-lb. sacks of sugar for 15 dollars. Traded 1 spare wagon wheel for 15 dollars. Traded 1 spare horse or mule harness for 2 oxen. Traded 3 20-lb. sacks of oats for 15 dollars. Purchased 1 small farmwagon. From now on, ten hours of travel per day. Saw a grave dug up by wolves near Missouri River--bones scattered about. A most distressing sight! Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across. After some concern that we were lost, we saw Cold Spring in the distance. I've got some bad feelings about this trip. Tom and Silent will both be drunk half, if not all of the time, and Silent will probably have smoked all of the laudanum and tobacco withing the first week or two. But it's going to be fun as fuck! June 3, 1853 We lost a chicken today. The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to double-team the animals. June 4, 1853 The trail continues to provide wonders and surprises! Today we made it to Walnut Creek Bridge. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 145 pounds of meat. June 6, 1853 Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Vermillion River. Fording the river looks to be our best option. I'm surprised. We still have a good amount of whiskey, brandy, and laudanum. Haven't checked on tobacco yet, and I don't have high hopes for that one. June 7, 1853 Our wagon tipped over. We lost 2 16-oz. bottles of ammonia; 28 pounds of bacon; 3 5-lb. tins of biscuits; 1 yard of brown muslin cloth; and various other items. June 8, 1853 Today we have traveled 100 miles. Today our eyes were greeted with the sight of Marysville, Kansas. Purchased 2 30-foot lengths of chain, 10 pounds of nails. The trail continues to provide wonders and surprises! Today we made it to Big Blue River. Decided to ford the river. We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of St. Joseph Road Junction. June 12, 1853 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 193 pounds of meat. June 13, 1853 We were inconvenienced by a serious thunderstorm. We chose to continue as usual. Heard some gunfire in the distance near The Narrows. Much concern all around. June 17, 1853 Heard some gunfire in the distance near “The Coast of Nebraska”. Much concern all around. Reached another prominent landmark today: Fort Kearny. Traded 1 spare horse or mule harness for 10 dollars. June 19, 1853 Every day our journey comes closer to its end. Today we made it to Plum Creek. June 20, 1853 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 169 pounds of meat. June 22, 1853 We found some wild fruit and decided to stop and gather fruit. We gathered 19 pounds. A prairie fire spread across the trail today. It seemed best to slow down. Damn that Silent and his laudanum addiction! He started the damn praire fire, the fucker. Man, he's starting to get really fucked up out here. Well, more so than usual. June 23, 1853 As expected, we made it to O’Fallon’s Bluffs today. June 24, 1853 Duststorm today. We hope for rain. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. June 25, 1853 A chicken died today. June 26, 1853 Came to South Platte River. Fording the river looks to be our best option. June 27, 1853 From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Ash Hollow today, and sure enough, there it was! We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 229 pounds of meat. June 29, 1853 The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to double-team the animals. July 1, 1853 Saw buzzards circling today not too far from Courthouse and Jail Rocks. If I were superstitious, I’d call it a bad omen. Saw a mountain lion not far from Chimney Rock. July 2, 1853 Passed the five hundred mile mark today. The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to wait for conditions to improve. July 3, 1853 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to wait for conditions to improve. July 4, 1853 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to wait for conditions to improve. July 7, 1853 Bad storm today--rain, wind, and lightning something fierce! We decided to continue as usual. Saw a mountain lion not far from Scotts Bluff. Today we saw Mitchell Pass. What a sight! We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 198 pounds of meat. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 162 pounds of meat. July 8, 1853 A wild animal bit I. It seemed best to increase rations. July 14, 1853 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to slow down. The animals are exhausted and can't continue. I've decided to double-team the animals. July 15, 1853 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to slow down. Bad storm today--rain, wind, and lightning something fierce! We decided to continue as usual. Spotted a group of strangers. We decided to approach them. We talked to them. July 16, 1853 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to slow down. July 17, 1853 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to slow down. The trail brought us to Laramie River today. Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across. Today we passed Fort Laramie. July 18, 1853 The weather turned mighty hot, so we’re planning to slow down. Much grumbling today about Nick Tillman near Register Cliff. July 20, 1853 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to continue as usual. One of our oxen stepped in a hole, and I've decided to butcher the animal for meat. We salvaged 219 pounds of meat. Yes, good ol' ox meat. Silent said he once survived for months on rancid ox meat. Then again, he was probably on an opium trip. July 22, 1853 It's mighty hot today. We’re going to continue as usual. Came to Ayers Natural Bridge. July 24, 1853 Mr. and Mrs. Billings came by for a visit today near North Platte River; had a very nice chat. Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across. Came to Mormon Ferry Trading Post. Today we passed Emigrant Gap. July 25, 1853 Rested the animals near Willow Springs. July 26, 1853 Today we saw Independence Rock. What a sight! Saw Devil’s Gate, sight is most reassuring. July 27, 1853 Arrived at Split Rock. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 168 pounds of meat. July 28, 1853 Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Three Crossings. Passed Sweetwater River. Fording the river looks to be our best option. July 29, 1853 Passed Ice Spring Slough. Road fair to middling. July 31, 1853 Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 spare ox yoke; 1 spare wagon axle; 1 wagon cover; 10 pounds of bacon; 4 yards of brown muslin cloth; and various other items. Silent has suffered some cuts and abrasions. We'll clean and dress the wounds. Silent's pissed because the doctor didn't think that opium would be effective treatment. August 2, 1853 Bad storm today--rain, wind, and lightning something fierce! We decided to continue as usual. Saw a mountain lion not far from Final Sweetwater River Crossing. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 200 pounds of meat. Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go. August 3, 1853 Today we reached South Pass. August 6, 1853 Got as far as Pacific Springs today. August 7, 1853 Passed Dry Sandy today. Camped today near “Parting of the Ways”. August 8, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. Got a late start; passed Haystack Butte. August 9, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. August 10, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. August 11, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 183 pounds of meat. August 12, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. Saw a grave dug up by wolves near Green River--bones scattered about. A most distressing sight! Fording the river looks to be our best option. Take that you meese bastards. Two meese (Or is it mooses? How should I know. I never went to school) August 13, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual. August 14, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. August 15, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll continue as usual. Passed Branley Pass. Road fair to middling. August 16, 1853 Saw Emigrant Spring, sight is most reassuring. There was a wedding in camp today not far from West End of the Sublette Cutoff. A joyous occasion in the wilderness! August 17, 1853 There was a wedding in camp today not far from Thomas Fork. A joyous occasion in the wilderness! August 18, 1853 Came to Smith’s Trading Post Site. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train. August 19, 1853 Today we have traveled 1,000 miles! It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual. August 20, 1853 Enjoyed some good fiddle music today during our nooning near Soda Springs. August 21, 1853 Nooned late today not far from Hudspeth Cutoff at Sheep Rock. August 26, 1853 Reached Fort Hall. Strangely beautiful country. Traded 1 mule for 15 dollars. August 28, 1853 Came to American Falls. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train. August 29, 1853 Saw a mountain lion not far from Raft River. Fording the river looks to be our best option. Found a clean, well-formed ox skull a short ways from California Trail Junction; tempted to take it with me, but decided against it. August 31, 1853 The wagon train reached West End of the Hudspeth Cutoff this day. September 1, 1853 Saw a mountain lion not far from City of Rocks. September 2, 1853 We laid by today near Salt Lake Cutoff Junction. September 6, 1853 We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 44 pounds of meat. September 8, 1853 Reached Hot Spring Valley. September 9, 1853 Today we have traveled for 100 days. September 14, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. September 15, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. In good spirits today; got as far as North Fork of the Humboldt River. Decided to ford the river. September 16, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. September 17, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. September 18, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. Passed Emigrant Pass today. September 19, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. September 20, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual. September 21, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. September 22, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll continue as usual. September 23, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. Today we passed Gravelly Ford of the Humboldt River. Decided to ford the river. The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. September 24, 1853 The wagon got stuck in the mud. Had to double-team the animals. September 25, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. September 26, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. September 27, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll continue as usual. September 28, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. September 29, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 39 pounds of meat. September 30, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. October 2, 1853 The animals are exhausted and can't continue. I've decided to stop and rest awhile. October 3, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. October 4, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. October 5, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual. October 6, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. For a time today we feared we were lost. We were much relieved to find ourselves at an identifiable location, French Ford Trading Post. Purchased 5 pounds of butter, 5 pounds of coffee beans, 5 pounds of ham. October 7, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. October 8, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. October 9, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Saw a small, foul-looking pool of water near Lassen’s Meadows. Could be poison; I prevented our animals from drinking it. October 10, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. October 11, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. October 12, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. October 13, 1853 Commenced early today; saw Big Meadows. Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Humboldt Sink today, and he was right. October 14, 1853 Today's wind whipped up a terrible duststorm. We shall wait for conditions to improve. October 15, 1853 A sudden duststorm came up today. It seemed best to wait for conditions to improve. October 17, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. October 18, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Duststorm today. We hope for rain. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. October 19, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. October 20, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual. October 21, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. October 22, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. October 23, 1853 The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual. October 24, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. October 25, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. Approached Truckee River today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey. Fording the river looks to be our best option. Traveled past Truckee Canyons this afternoon. October 26, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. October 29, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. October 30, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. October 31, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 1, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 2, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 3, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 4, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 5, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 6, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 7, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 8, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 9, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 10, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 11, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 12, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 13, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 14, 1853 We came upon some fallen rocks on the trail and decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 15, 1853 Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve. November 16, 1853 Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 spare wagon axle; 1 spare wagon tongue; 1 16-oz. bottle of ammonia; 1 ax; 3 16-oz. bottles of brandy; and various other items. November 17, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual. November 18, 1853 We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual. It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual. The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to double-team the animals. November 19, 1853 The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual. Mr. Tillman claims it's the Oregon Territory up ahead, but the guidebook says it's Jameson’s Station. Purchased 10 pounds of bacon, 5 pounds of cheese, 10 10-lb. sacks of flour, 10 pounds of salt pork, 5 gallon jugs of whiskey. November 20, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. November 22, 1853 One of the oxen got injured, and we're trying to rest here awhile. November 23, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. November 24, 1853 We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual. November 25, 1853 The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual. We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 5 pounds of meat. November 26, 1853 Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Donner Lake. November 27, 1853 The ox yoke broke, and I decided to try to repair it. We were successful. November 28, 1853 Reached Cold Stream Pass. Strangely beautiful country. Encamped a while near Summit Valley. November 30, 1853 The fog is as thick as pea soup. I reckon we'll continue as usual. December 1, 1853 The trail's flooded. We had to try to ford through the water. December 5, 1853 We came upon a portion of the trail that was flooded, and had to try to ford through the water. December 6, 1853 We tipped the wagon and lost 1 16-oz. bottle of ammonia; 1 8-oz. bottle of camomile; 1 4-oz. bottle of camphor; 1 8-oz. can of sardines; and various other items. December 10, 1853 Silent was nearly drowned today. We're planning to rest here awhile. Nooned near Johnson’s Ranch. Purchased 6 10-lb. sacks of flour. December 12, 1853 Every day our journey comes closer to its end. Today we made it to American River Bridge. As expected, we made it to Sutter’s Fort Site today. Arrived today at Sacramento!! At last we have reached our destination! Truly this is the land of opportunity! February 21, 1854 Final Score: 3906 Got claim certificate #293 from assay office today, for 35 ounces of gold worth $700.00! I'm rich! February 22, 1854 In 1853, Zed mined $700 worth of gold from along the banks of the Feather River. Life in the new land turned out to be happy and successful for Zed, who always cherished bittersweet but proud memories of the months spent on the Oregon and California Trails. An 1869 gold strike on a tract of land owned by Zed provided even greater wealth, much of which was donated to charity in later years. An early twentieth-century descendant repeated this good fortune by striking oil in southern California, providing the family with continued affluence and influence. Silly Canadians with their zany antics.

I don't think we should restructure the league. It's fine the way it is. However, perhaps the G-Man (Or another Jane) could move to the bullpen. You know, for the good of the team. And I too am shocked that the G-Man is a good pitcher this year. He must've grown that mustache. Or he killed several small animals to remove the curses and hexes he'd gotten from borrowing Papa Shango's CD player and then breaking it. C'mon Janes, let's uh...get billions of dollars and buy talent! That's the way!

I agree with your thoughts on the Romantics, Eddy Mac. I like Byron's "English Bards and Scotch Reviews" as well, partly because it's mentioned in Tom Stoppard's play "Arcadia" but, I like it by itself. I do like the Coleridge, too. Why can't I build a pleasure dome? It's not fair. I could be wrong on the name, but I think another Romantic I like is William Blake. I thank my current AP English teacher for the poetry sets we get every few weeks. I've been introduced to so many of the people I've mentioned through this.

/me hands a platinum pocket protector to the Angry, yet highly geeky Black Man So, can I play solitaire on the site, or do I have to go through my email to do that?

I'll tell Gonzales to kill a live rooster to hopefully ensure a weekend update, preferably with either Chevy Chase, or Norm McDonald.

I may have missed it because I am a bit slow sometimes, but how about the monosyllabic CAVEMAN CHRIS!! Who smashes! In a similar vein, that G0R0 sure was crazy. With his zany antics.

I'd like to point out that it was that fucker Wilson who wrote the first Elk 'match'. He used the Elk to 'humiliate' me because, I mean, a stuffed head pinning a fake person, that's just damn humiliating. That said, I shall now go over here and consider getting IRC to chat, but ultimately no-sell the idea.

/me fires up the nostalgia engine, powered with baby seals Well, there was the whole thing with Stubbo bashing actual people, yet claiming the flames to be promos. I recall when he was banned for making fun of Spork/Atlas/crazy Russian McGee's girlfriend. There was the time Jayson froke out (Or would that be freaked out?) when a person with the screename of "muzz" IMed him saying that Sacred had died, and the dedication of a PPV to the Muzzy. Pretty much anything GOAT ever did, especially anything associated with Wilson. I recall when I tossed Wilson off the second, HIAC-type cage on 13th Hour, and he came back about two weeks later. Actually, not just GOAT, but most of my career in general. Wheee at horrible-ness! I recall with some fondness the matches I wrote as a booker when there was a double no-show. Anything involving Galatea was gold, and things with me and G were cool, too. I remember some 'promos' I wrote, but neglected to save that I thought were quite funny. Oh yeah, when Muzz was crazy, but like fun crazy. That was a good weekend. Perhaps I can remember more things, but most likely not.

I enjoyed this episode quite a lot. Him shouting out "Kobe!" in the beginning was damn funny. I'm kinda sad that 'robot-dancing man' was left out, considering this might have been the best time for him to show up. I'd like to see more of Charlie Murphy's true Hollywood stories, though not perhaps an entire episode. However, the ending quote has changed. What are the thoughts/opinions on this? I'm also glad to see that Tron will be on the next episode (I'm assuming).

Nay, Cru-Zor, I shall not use the IRC client. I'll just wait for this new server to explode, and then everyone will be back with me, yay. Or not. I'm off to look at shiny spoons now.

Actually, I've never seen an episode of Playmakers. How about a Deion Sanders (Or Bo Jackson) -mode where one of your players pursues another sport, leaving him either fatigued for games, or unavailable to play at all.

In the same vein as having injured players play anyway, how about the option of doping the players up with pain killers so that they can perform, just not quite up to par. Including a feature where one team or just a handful of players just gets wasted or whatever the night before the Superbowl should be available, too. Create a realistic rivalry system, with big games resulting in player maiming before, after, and during the games. That's all I can think of right now...

Fix the JAVA or point me to an alternate version, or ye shall incur the wrath of not only the Flesher, but the Unholy Fury of the Gonzales, not the Furry Gonzales, Janus, so back off, silly man. Oh, and I'll probably be upset as well.

So does this mean that the few folk who used JAVA are unable to chatafy with people? Such a thing would make myself sad, and leave the good sir Tom sans a drink holder, and we can't have that. I decree that we enlist Galatea to fix things up.

It's got to be the one and only, Clint Howard Damn sex-tastic if you ask me.

C'mon, what about the Ribs sleep solution? I thought that was pretty funny. However, I do agree that most of season one's skits were better than these. He needs to bring back some characters, Tyrone, Clayton, and such. I do like the recurrance of "Robot Dance Man" in the barber shop. He needs to be on more shows. I'd also like to see "Great Moments in Hookup History".

Damn everything! Evo better post the All-Star game, especially since I've finally been selected, which doesn't make too much sense since I've had previous years that were a bit better than the 2010 season. Oh, and I think you should edit the President Dean comment to maybe Kerry with the way things are looking now, but that's a minor detail. Come on, Hanoi Janes, let's kick some fuckin' ass next year. And stuff.

Yo, PM me that Stables title match from 13th Hour back in the dizzle, you silly Brit. I'll send you bagels or whatever. Word to your fairy god mother.

A few days ago, I was planning on posting a sports game-related thread, but I had various topics in my skull. So, here goes with various questions relating to sports games. Yay! 1. If you do create players, do you generally create people who've never existed (Or friends and family) or are you more prone to make legends from the past. -With ESPN NFL Football and NBA Basketball, I don't have much of a need to make former players, though there have been times when I felt obligated to add some that were left out (Like Bo Jackson who crushes many a person, linebacker and defensive back alike). However, if I do create a player, it's generally random folk. 2. What is the worst sounding injury in a season/franchise mode, and what's the longest amount of time a player's been out? -There have been several times where guys have had broken vertebrae or torn ACLs or hamstrings (Or other ligaments/muscles/etc) for around 20+ weeks. However, I think some Packer guard (Mike Wahle perhaps) had a career ending broken hip. Silly man. I had more questions and what have you, but I've since forgotten. Anyway, if there are any other topics you folk can think of, feel free. Go Something or Other!

Bird vs. Dr. J Danny Ainge biting Tree Rollins Ray Buchanan Germaning some guy in the playoffs, I think getting suspended for the SuperBowl. T.O. getting clobbered on the Dallas star was interesting. Ritchie McCaw and Bob Skinstad beating up Pieter Van Zyl during All Blacks Springboks Tri-Nations match in SA 03, after Van Zyl drunkenly climbed a chain-link fence, sprinted 60m and tackled ref David McHugh to the ground, dislocating the ref's shoulder. Go rugby! Let's not forget Corne Krige (Captain of the Boks) concussing his own teammate with an accidental punch. GO RUGBY! Though not really a fight (And not many of mine have been), Clemens hurling a chunk o' bat at Mike Piazza. Juan Marichal (Giants pitcher) taking a bat to John Roseboro (Dodgers catcher) Belle nailing some second baseman with a forearm in the early (ish?) 90s. Though I doubt any of these equal any little league fight between two fathers.

I have to agree with you there. Best Idea Ever. Besides, it shouldn't be hard to lure Frost down south, just give him jugs of moonshine and throw in some farmers' daughters, and he's set. I would like to now no-sell the losing of the G-Man's records. Gonzo shall return stronger, throwing many, many strikeouts. And beanballs, though that doesn't seem to be recorded. Amazing that Atlanta has so many damned records (Especially for this year) yet we didn't make it. Yay, sorta. Speaking of records, I wonder if DeSantis has been taking THC or CBS. If so, let's pump him full of lots more. I think the Hanoi Janes go the route of the 70s As and all grow moustaches, and either pompadors or nifty corn rows. Because who doesn't want to see a 7'7" Argentinian Jewish man with corn rows and gigantic handlebar moustache? Nobody, that's who.

One of my favorite Beavis and BUTT-Head moments occured while they were forced to pick up cans along the highway, and they started tossing a hubcap around, resulting in it bouncing off a passing car and nearly killing Stewart's father I believe. I also liked when BUTT-Head choked on a chicken nugget, leaving Beavis to wander the town until he finally unwittingly saves BUTT-Head. Occassionally semi-good times. And whatnot.

Be there no love, adoration, or just weird fluttery feelings for the Venture Brothers? Damn that Monarch and his deadly killing power, just like the butterfly he takes his namesake from! Perhaps I'll shut up now.

Perhaps I'll write one and if I should win, seeing as how I don't have an X-Box, I'll pass it along to whomever I see fit. Time to decide between a Miami Vice, Good Morning America, or something else equally disturbing to write about involving much sexing.