Dr. Tom

I blame Mike's head cheerleader being a whore, too. She's kept me... uh, distracted, and my picks have suffered. Besides, there's only one "spread" I think of when she's around, and it's not the points one...

This week's NFL column is up, football fans. Take the handoff.

Absolutely not. Fantasy sports are still reflections of actual sports. You still discuss how players will perform, matchups, etc. While the reason for discussing those things is different, fantasy sports discussion is very much a part of sports.

Wow, this was a lot to read thru. Anyway, I thought Kerry came out looking a little better than Bush. I don't think he hit this one out of the park, but he did well. Bush was affable, but not as aw-shucks as he's been in the past, which means he got away from one of his strengths. Kerry came across as a polished speaker: he never once said "um" or "uh," and only stammered a few times; Bush said um/uh and stammered in every reply. I think Bush's content was better than Kerry's, but Kerry's presentation was better. And since presentation matters more to the vast majority of people these days, that bodes well for Kerry. Both men left openings for the other that weren't closed. They both got their digs in, but it seemed like those were prepared in advance. I expected Kerry to slam a few doors on Bush, and vice versa, and apart from a few isolated incidents, it didn't happen. I think Kerry needed a more decisive win than he got. He's not the incumbent and he trails in the polls, and a really good showing would've done a lot for him. The Town Hall debate should be interesting -- Bush Sr. got owned by Clinton in their Town Hall, but W has a lot of charisma and general likability, two traits Kerry doesn't possess. If Bush does well in the Town Hall debate, he locks up the election. I'm sure the Democrats are expecting Kerry to do well in the Town Hall, and he needs to if he wants to have a serious chance in November.

Bah, I'm quite irritated by this whole thing. I know European countries are dickless and cowardly, but goddamn, this just takes it to another level. Fuck it, let's drop a few bombs on Italy and make them pay for us to stop. It's good for the economy, after all...

I hope it's an inside-the-park HR. That way, if Greedy McGreederson runs out onto the field to get the ball, he can have the shit beat out of him by a bunch of ballplayers.

Here's the Denney story:

Just for fun, let's all imagine the shitstorm that would've ensued had a white person said Blacks weren't technically savvy enough to use computerized voting machines...

Terrible, terrible idea. I can't believe Italy is so cowardly, spineless, and stupid as to not only negotiate with terrorists, but then give them a large sum of money. If they don't have the heart for this war, they should get out of it and leave the fight to those who can take the heat. Bloody chickenshit country.

Iraq War: For. The execution hasn't been ideal, but it needed to be done. Big/Small Gov't: The smaller, the better. War on Drugs: Legalize (and tax) everything. It is not the job of the government to tell you that you can't harm yourself. What people do in the privacy of their own homes is no one's business but theirs. Anyone who commits a crime while under the influence of any drug should have the book thrown at them, hard. Drunk/drugged driving that results in death should be first-degree murder, punishable by execution. Ditto anything that results in death while the guilty party is not in his right mind. Note that I don't use drugs myself, but I think they should be legalized on libertarian grounds. Abortion: Pro-ambivalence. I don't think the federal government should be involved, but they need to be to keep it safe and legal. I'd never vote to make it illegal, since a clinic is infinitely better than a folding table and a coat hanger. Gay Marriage: Marriage is a religious issue, and I'm an atheist. However, I think this should be a matter for the states to decide. Put it on referendum across the country. If a state votes in favor of it, great. If not, oh well. No state which voted against gay marriage/civil unions should be forced to recognize one. Social Programs: Should be used as a stopgap, not a way of life. Barring disability, people should only be on any kind of welfare for a short time. I'm very much in favor of education and job training, as long as the money is spent efficiently. Taxes: Flat tax. Create a few tiers of it so that those who can afford to pay more do so, but don't punish them for being successful. Pledge: Don't give a shit. Don't say "under God" if it bothers you so damn much. The idiot who fought this gave all atheists a bad name, and I hope he dies. Guns: Keep them legal, except automatic weapons. No one needs a machine gun to defend their home. Background checks should be used, and should also check for a history of psychological problems. Not all convicted felons should be denied gun ownership, as the fellow who went to the clink for tax evasion isn't likely to go on a killing spree. Affirmative Action: Against. Two wrongs don't make a right. The Courts: Major reforms are needed. Malpractice suits need to be capped so we can stop driving doctors out of their profession, and stop raising the cost to patients. Malpractice should also be harder to claim; parents of infants born with birth defects are unlucky, not entitled to millions. Impose the English Rule, forcing plaintiffs to pay all legal fees in frivolous lawsuits. Death Penalty: For, but it needs to be reformed. It's more expensive to kill a prisoner than to keep him alive for life, and that needs to change. If you're sentenced to death, you have two years to have an appeal heard. If you lose that appeal, you're executed the day you leave the courtroom. I'm also in favor of public and televised executions to discourage crime. Teaching Practical Sex-Ed: I wish we didn't have to, but we do. Abstinence should be part of the program, though. Racial Profiling: For, as it's a valuable law enforcement tool. We need to use it more and stop worrying about being politically correct. While it's true that not all Arab males are terrorists, all terrorists who have attacked us recently ARE Arab males. Scrutinize them more than other folks. If they complain, too fucking bad. Medical care: Against socialized medicine. Everyone raves about Canada's system, but why do so many Canadian patients come to American hospitals for vital operations? We have the best doctors, and we need to protect them from absurd malpractice suits. The medical system needs to be tweaked, but it doesn't need a complete overhaul. Bush: An underrated and shrewd politician whose intelligence is underestimated by those who harp on his speaking gaffes. I don't like his Jesus Freak Agenda *at all*, but I generally think he's done a good job in some very trying circumstances. Kerry: A smart man who's running a miserable campaign. I don't think he'd be a strong wartime leader, and his flip-flopping would hurt us greatly in the war on terror. A liar with respect to his combat record, and a man far too beholden to a rich, crazy wife and a bunch of soft money.

I hope, after a few months in court, that all three of them have to split the money the sale of the ball brings in. I also hope that's barely in the six figures, since collectors are so sick of all this lame litigation over a goddamn baseball, and I further hope that each of these sad motherfuckers goes bankrupt over their legal fees.

Why didn't he just let the ball drop foul? A major-league outfielder needs to be aware of where he is on the field. Beyond that, he was near the Giants' bullpen, and his teammates there should have been shouting at him to let it fall.

Talk to PK. He's trying to put some end-of-week column together that looks at the upcoming weekend's games.

Well, he IS 36-18 as the team's starter. Of course, those teams weren't as awful as this year's model. But either way, he certainly doesn't deserve tilde-bang status.

They're resolving things very quickly so far. All loose ends except for Chloe's whereabouts were resolved in the first episode, and then that was tied up neatly in the second. It just seems too soon, and cheapens the cliffhangers of last season. The T-1000 guy was lame. He might've been interesting with motive and backstory, but as a five-minute freak of the week, not so much. Lex and Lionel continue to be the best characters on the show. However, taking a knife between the ribs is usually fatal. I'm not sure I like Lois Lane being on the show, since canon has them not meeting until both are adults in Metropolis. Still, they've characterized her well, and she's quite easy on the eyes, so I can't object overmuch.

I'm guessing this is the Cheap Trick song?

I absolutely loathe sauerkraut. I'm *German*, and I think sauerkraut is made from the devil's nappy pubic hairs.

They were probably both eyeing up the same cousin... PS: No.

I didn't do news stuff (apart from some injuries) because I wanted to look at the Chiefs' plight, and I only have so much time to write the bloody column. Besides, the 49ers are ass this year.

All caught up, except for that Don King crap, because that IS fucked up.

Mostly Irish and German. My maternal great-grandfather emigrated from Germany, and his eventual wife emigrated from Ireland. On my father's side, there's some more Irish and German, along with English and (sigh) a smidgen of French.

I started out as "DrTom," since old boards didn't allow spaces or punctuation in the usernames. That was my handle on the old EZBoard, and I ported it over here, then added the space and the period later. Gimmick accounts: INXS, Cancer Marney, The Dames * * everything on this line may be a lie. ** ** or not.

Blame Poff.

Not only that, he's been doing it with two screen names. I'll give him the chance to voluntarily stop using the newer one, though.

Netflix and Blockbuster Online are the best deals, but you need a DVD-burner and a moral compass that doesn't always point due north. If you have those things, you can get DVDs for less than $2 each.