Dr. Tom

Fair enough. For the record, I care a lot more about Americans (and now our allies) getting beheaded than a bunch of terrorists getting whacked with sticks. But the two issues are definitely separate.

The Napalm pits are looking more attractive by the minute...

I agree 100% here. The Orioles' bullpen problems have been their own fault, since they stupidly brought in scrubs like Mike DeJean, who's blown almost every lead he's been handed this year. If Grimsley were a good pitcher, I still wouldn't understand the move. The Orioles got fleeced, plain and simple.

Future parts definitely need more Emperor Palpatom.

Wasn't the economy recovering nicely under Bush 41 when Clinton took office? Didn't the economy under Clinton get propped up by the dot-com craze? Didn't the economy dive when the dot-bombs were exposed as the shams they were? Not to bash Clinton... just to be fair.

Because you can train a gorilla to do it. And any job that fails the gorilla test can't be worth much.

Berg was beheaded in retaliation to the abuse scandal, well that's one of the reasons Al Qaeda gave for doing it. Then why was Daniel Pearl beheaded? Why were four American contractors killed, hanged, and burned in effigy well before the abuse allegations came to light? Hint: the abuse allegation are a convenient cover for morally dangerous shitheads eager to rationalize the behavior of terrorists. Those of us with a lick of common sense know better.

Find where I said he wasn't, please. How? Spider-Man has superhuman strength and stamina. He'll tire slower than Batman will, so the long fight has to favor the fighter who will be less tired. Which is... ? I guess you could say it's his devotion to his family, but considering what happened to Bruce Wayne's family, that's a bit too Machiavellian for Batman. Sorry, no. I like Batman as much as the next guy, but I don't see him taking this one.

Duncun would so not be down with napalming everyone. Maybe not. But METHOS~! would be on board.

I don't see it. As much as I like both characters, I think Spider-Man wins this one. With Superman, Batman has known weaknesses to exploit, plus the fact that he's smarter. Peter Parker is a genius, so there's no real advantage there. Obviously, Spider-Man has it all over Batman in terms of physical elements, and I think that would be the deciding factor. But if you gave Bruce Wayne proper time and knowledge, I think it would be a damn good bout.

True, that's an option, but I was working from the presumption that business owners would seek legal alternatives. Especially small business owners, who don't have the wealth and legal might of a large corporation behind them. Besides, all it takes is one disgruntled former employee to spill the beans, and you'll find the feds will kick that door in right quick. By yourself? No. But if you're still in school and live with your parents, it's fine. No one should have to work a $7 an hour job past college, anyway. And even those who don't go to college can get skill training to ensure they're not going to be making peanuts.

No, you can't outsource those jobs, but small businesses have set budgets for employees that they can't exceed. Asking them to soak up a sizable raise in the minimum wage means people (usually young, and often minorities) will be laid off or fired because their boss simply can't afford them anymore. We'll use a real, if simplified, scenario. Let's say you own a small business, something service-oriented. You're open 12 hours a day every day of the week, and you need at least two employees working at all times. Figure you'll have three working at times to cover breaks, handle busy periods, etc, and we'll say you use 200 man-hours per week. Let's also assume you pay your employees between $5.15 and $6.00 per hour, and they tend to be high-school kids working their first or second job. Your budget for these employees is about $1100 per week. (This doesn't include management, whom we'll presume to be a fairly fixed cost, and well above minimum wage besides.) Now the minimum wage becomes $7 per hour. You still have the same $1100 weekly budget for these employees. Now, however, that $1100 only buys you 157 man-hours. You're missing 43 hours of coverage that you were missing before. This also means you can't have two employees working all the times your store is open, since that would be 168 m-h. So you now have several options: 1. Raise your prices to reflect the increased min wage and keep all your workers. 2. Lay off/fire some employees and keep the rest, and keep your prices the same, forcing you into the 157 m-h/week model. 3. Lay off/fire some employees and keep the rest, and keep your prices the same. Have management or yourself cover some of the gaps in coverage, since it doesn't add to your expenses. The benefit of #1 is that you can keep all your employees. You'll also be making more profit on the items you sell, increasing your budget to be able to pay those employees. They'll have to take some reduced hours for a while, but it should be all good after that. The problem, though, is that some customers won't want to pay the increased prices. Small businesses can't compete favorably with large corporations in terms of pricing, anyway, and this would just further hamper you. If your sales fell by 15% after this, you'd be no better off than you were before. The benefit of #2 is that you don't raise prices, so you'll retain your customers. On that count, at least: the downside is that your coverage is stretched very thin. Customers won't get the same level of service they're used to. Lines will be longer, and waits will be more frequent. This could drive some customers to places where they won't have to wait. The other downside is obviously that you've fired some young people and turned them loose on a job market that doesn't want to pay them $7 per hour for menial labor. The benfit of #3 is the same as #2. Since you and your manager are fillin in the coverage gaps, your service level shouldn't fall off very much at all. Of course, this makes the manager do work s/he really isn't there to do, and takes him away from the work he actually is supposed to be doing. And being made to do min-wage jobs for a couple hours a day might make your manager quit, an added drawback on top of #2. Then you're really in a bind. The drawback about firing kids is the same. So it's really not as simple as saying that layoffs wouldn't increase because the minimum wage went up. Big companies could take the hit. Small businesses... not so much.

No, there are alternatives available. Get a second job. Have your significant other work. And there are always federal entitlement programs to fall back on for a while. The minimum wage isn't designed to support a family, and it never has been. The point is that raising the minimum wage hurts small businesses. Companies like McDonald's and Wal-Mart can roll with the punches more, and keep their people by raising some of their prices. Mom-and-pop stores don't have that luxury. They have a set budget for employees, and increasing the minimum wage usually means one or more of those employees have to go. So now you've just created unemployment. That person won't find a job at another small business. Meanwhile, all the supposed extra money coming into the economy is effectively neutered by price increases that companies use to pass their rising costs onto the consumers. If you got a nice raise because the minimum wage went from $5.15 to $7.00 an hour, maybe you can spend $15 on snacks per week instead of $12. The problem is, that $15 might buy you the same amount of snacks $12 used to, since the grocery store you're buying from had to raise its prices to keep people around at wages their jobs don't deserve.

You too, Dub. OLD SK00L REPREZENT~! While the terrorists in captivity aren't the ones doing the beheadings, both groups are still terrorists. Napalming the worthless masses at Abu Ghraib would show all terrorists the fate that awaits them. As we round up more and more terrorists and terrorist lackeys, even radical Muslims are going to run low on disposable bodies. Not spraying them with Napalm, covering them with Napalm. I don't want any of the fuckers to have even the slightest chance of surviving. Does it explicitly help civilians? Not right away. I also think we should pull civilians out of that part of the world, or at least greatly reduce their presence and have some soldiers stationed with them. Don't be knocking "Highlander," Dub. Dem's fightin' words.

I'll always wish a good old-schooler a happy birthday. So happy anniversary of your birth, SG.

Actually, "auto" is a prefix, meaning "self."

My friend had his bachelor party last night. So after going to dinner at Ramano's, we piled into this awesome Escalade limo and headed down into DC to the Nexus Gold Club. The club is great inside, with a large stage and plenty of tables and chairs where large parties can have girls come over and dance on those tables. We discovered one problem about DC, though: lap dances are illegal. We probably would've left the NExus sooner, but the lucky bachelor, who's never been much of a drinker, had one drink too many. One of the girls gave him a Come Fuck Me, the primary ingrdient in which is 151 rum. I thought he was going to hurl as soon as he finished the drink. He managed to make it to the bathroom, though, then got taken for a walk outside to clear his head. We settled our tab and left a little while later. From there, we had a decision. We could make it back to Baltimore, where lap dances are quite legal, but we'd be getting there around 1:30, and the bars close at 2:00. In DC, they stay open until 3:00, and we had the limo until around 3:00. So we stayed in DC and went to the Camelot. The NExus was a nicer club, but the girls at the Camelot were OFF THE FUCKING HOOK. They couldn't take all 14 of us at one table, so we ended up splitting up, with me at a table with two other fellows. There was no cover, but they have a one-drink minimum. Our round of a Heineken, a Diet Coke, and a Rum and coke came to over $21. Another guy in the group had a Long Island Iced Tea, which was the bargain price of $16.85. We left the Camelot around 1:55 and got back to our meeting place outside of Baltimore right around 3:00. Of course, my friend the bachelor had to puke again once we were out of the limo. Everyone else who was going home was going in the opposite direction, so I ended up riding him home, along with another friend who had left his car at the bachelor's house. He made it without hurling in my car, which was a very good thing, since friend or not, drunk and miserable or not, that's worth an ass-whopping. All told, I think everyone had fun, even the bachelor... except for the puking and all.

It's Sass' thread. If he wants to delete stuff, he can. Of course, I'm hoping he'll rip Heaumeau Beau a new ass, but we'll see what happens.

I think my Master Plan, first discussed after the Berg beheading, would still work. 1. Count the number of prisoners in Abu Ghraib. 2. Dig a really big ditch outside the prison, big enough to easily hold them all. 3. Gather all the prisoners in front of the ditch. 4. Break their arms and legs so they can't climb out, then shove them in. 5. Pour generous quantities of Napalm into the ditch. 6. Repeat with more captured terrorists, terrorist helpers, radical clerics, and other subhuman pieces of shit who are dedicated to killing innocents. This allows us to get rid of many terrorists at once, and it gives us something to do with all that Napalm.

Stop ruining threads, you waste of sperm and egg. Sass is a million times the person you'll ever be, and the fact you're even posting in his thread in insulting.

Happy anniversary of your birth to the fellow who gave me a shitload of help here for a few months. I couldn't have done it without you, d00d, so stand up and take a bow.

Ad-Aware and Spybot, folks. Download them, use them, update them, and love them.

I think some count against you if you don't go thru and delete them. You won't be able to view them, but they're still there.

I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Really.

Yes. And considering I'm working ten-plus-hour days right now, and going to school, I'll get to it when I get to it.