More in-depth spoilers:
WWE Smackdown/Velocity Tapings from US Bank Arena in Cincinnati.
Crowd was lively for most of the night, save one segment (guess now who was involved!). I'd say the Arena was about 70% full, if that. I hope I remember everything, and have the right order.
Dark Matches:
World's Greatest Tag Team beat Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan, when Benjamin pinned Hennigan after a a double team power bomb/springboard clothesline. The Tough Enough III team looked green, but Matt was clearly more polished. His dropkicks weren't what they need to be though. Hennigan hit his standing shooting star, which got a nice pop. Crowd didn't seem to recognize the TEIII guys.
Sean O'Haire and Matt Morgan beat Mike "Don't call me Nova" Bucci & Carly Colon. Morgan has the look, that's for sure. He's also got charisma and that "it" factor. Another year or two and he will be a major force. Colon took the heat for the match and made a hot tag to Bucci, who ended up getting pinned with O'Haire's widowmaker. Bucci was legit knocked silly (looked like a concussion, although he may have just had the wind knocked out of him). He was attended to by several officials and trainers (yes they threw up the "X" sign, so it was legit). Eventually he left under his own power. It should be noted that virtually no one recognized him as the former Nova, as his look has completely changed.
Velocity:
APA beat Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo. This was basically a handicap match as Palumbo was taken out before the bout. APA toyed with Nunzio before Bradshaw pinned him after a Clothesline from Hell. After the match, Bradshaw warned the Bashems to watch their backs (he made mention of an altercation during a card game in the back, dunno if this was a pre-tape for tonight that just didn't air or if he was referring to an incident from weeks ago).
A-Train beat Orlando Jordan. Same match these two have had about 20 times now. A-Train got the win with the Derailer.
Ultimo Dragon beat Joey Matthews. Best match of the show up until this point. Dragon got a huge reaction coming out. Matthews got in a solid amount of offense, but Dragon ended up picking up the win with the Asai reverse flip over neckbreaker thingy or whatever it's called.
Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore) beat Funaki. Not a bad match here either. Hardy was over huge. He picked up the win with the Twist of Fate.
SMACKDOWN Taping
The show opened with a "preview" of a Stephanie McMahon interview that would be shown in its entirety (and I do mean ENTIRETY) later in the show.
The show opened with John Cena's music hitting, and Kurt Angle coming to the ring dressed as Cena (complete with homeboy visor and Jacksonville Jaguars jersey). Angle "rapped" about how he (calling himself Cena) was so tough. This was entertaining and I won't spoil all the good lines he had. Then Kurt Angle's music hit, and a midget dressed as Angle came out. Some funny back and forth between the two took place. The midget scared off "Cena" eventually, then "Cena" tried to attack him, but was taken down. The midget then put "Cena" in the ankle lock, which made him tap out immediately. This brought out the real John Cena, and he and Angle exchanged words briefly before the midget Angle gave Cena a low blow. Some more back and forth, and finally officials separated the two men.
Chris Benoit beat Doug Bashem by submission. Decent enough match. Benoit was over pretty strongly. At one point, the Bashems pulled the switch as Benoit went for a headbutt, and he crashed, allowing Danny to get a good near fall. Benoit came back on Danny though, and Doug ran in, only to get taken down in a crossface. He submitted. A-Train then hit the ring and attacked Benoit, leading to a pull apart.
After you watch this match Thursday night, might I suggest running a few errands, perhaps doing some laundry, or maybe taking a nap. The next segment was beyond atrocious.
Stephanie McMahon appeared on the big screen doing a sit down interview with Michael Cole from "earlier today." Stephanie informed us that she was "banned from the building" tonight by her father. Too bad he didn't ban her from TV period. Honestly, this PRE-TAPED interview went a solid 20 minutes and had the crowd booing it unmercifully after about 5. Just awful stuff. Stephanie cried (literally) over what her father has done to her, then said she hated him, and later said she loved him, then talked about how she would never forgive him and wouldn't let him walk her down the aisle should she ever get married "again," would never allow him to see any future grandkids, etc. Just awful stuff that went on WAY WAY WAY too long.
Backstage, Jamie Noble and Nidia were talking about Vince. Tajiri was hiding in the background. Noble said he thinks the WWE will be a better place is Vince is forced to quit. Tajiri runs and tells Vince this, who quickly signs a match between Tajiri and Noble.
In a non-title match, WWE Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri and Jamie Noble went to a no contest. Decent little match, with Tajiri working on Nobles leg for most of the bout. The finish came with Tajiri going to use the title belt on Noble, but Nidia ran in the ring and tried to take it from him. They had a tug of war before Tajiri blew the green mist in her face. Noble ran out of the ring to check on Nidia, who was rolling around on the floor. Tajiri just laughed, before leaving the ring.
Back from commercial, trainers were attending to Nidia. Noble was furious and ended up going back to the ring. He called out Tajiri, saying if Nidia doesn't recover, Noble will make Tajiri pay. Tajiri never came out, so Noble headed to the back to get him. Unfortunately for him, he ran into Brock Lesnar just as he was about to walk through the curtain. Lesnar tossed Noble all around the entrance way, before tossing him into the ringpost and giving him an F5 on the floor. Mr. McMahon music then hit, and he headed to the ring with Sable for an interview segment. Vince gave another one of those great interviews that made me really want to see him get his; then I remembered who he was facing at the PPV and it killed it. The segment ended with Sable and Vince playing tonsil hockey.
WWE US Champion Eddy Guerrero defeated Rhyno. This was the longest match of the night, going through a commercial break. Pretty good action too. Some nice spots from both men, as they really seem to work well together. Guerrero grabbed the timekeepers hammer late in the match, then tossed it to Rhyno while the ref was distracted. Eddy played dead and the ref caught Rhyno with the hammer. As taking it away, Guerrero nailed Rhyno with the US title behind the refs back and got the pin. Eddy was leaving in his lowrider truck, when the Big Show came out and attacked him. Show tossed Guerrero around and worked him over with a stick. Show then smashed the truck, breaking the windows, lights, and putting a nice dent in the side. Show then picked up Eddy (who was bleeding badly from the back thanks to broken glass) and powerbombed him on the hood of the truck. Then, Show pulled Eddy on top of the truck and gave him a chokeslam on the roof. This got over big time with the live crowd, and Guerrero being so bloody really added to the angle. Eddy made his way out during the commercial break, but his back looked like hamburger.
It was announced at this point that there would be a special Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker match for our eyes only.
Rey Mysterio pinned Johnny Stamboli (w/Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo). Typical big man little man match. Stamboli did his power moves and Mysterio used his quickness. Stamboli actually blocked a 619 and tried to turn it into a slam, but Mysterio reversed out of it into a huracanrana and picked up the win.
Undertaker did an interview backstage, talking to Michael Cole and Tazz. 'Taker talked about being in the best shape of his life, yadda yadda. He explained the rules of the Biker Chain match, saying the chain would be suspended "somehow" above the ring and the first man to get it could use it. Brock attacked 'Taker during the interview, and wrapped the chain around his throat. He then drug him off, as the show went to commercial.
Back from commercial, Brock was dragging 'Taker down to the ring. Taker had a few hope spots, but was basically choked out with the chain by Brock. Brock even hung Taker on the ring post with the chain. Of course, Taker eventually made the comeback and gave Brock a big chokeslam, which I believe was at the end of the TV show.
AFTER THE SHOW
Undertaker beat WWE Champion Brock Lesnar by countout. Brock went to the back, but 'Taker took the mic and said it wasn't over. Brock came back out very slowly for the "special" match between the two. Brock stalled a lot and did the classic Memphis style powdering out spots to begin the match. They went back and forth for about 5 minutes before 'Taker finally caught Lesnar for a chokeslam. Lesnar dropped down before taking it though, and fled the ring. He was counted out. Taker celebrated and posed, and that was that.
