madmatt2002

PWH Saturday Night's Main Event for 1/3/04: The Streak is on the line: Gillberg vs Duke Droese. Match Background: None. The Match: Nice piledriver on Gillberg. High Angle DDT by Duke Droese just SPIKES Gillberg down! Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Duke Droese connects and Gillberg is down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Fallaway slam by Duke Droese puts down Gillberg. Covers for a quick two count. Gillberg is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Gillberg suplexes Droese to the canvas and floats over. Big clothesline from Gillberg. Gillberg drops an elbow...but Duke Droese moves out of the way. Big piledriver on Gillberg. Duke Droese moves in for the kill. Trash Compactor!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:51 Crowd Reaction:41 Match Quality:62 (It sounded like a good match with no blown spots. However the Dames gives it a crappy rating. Go figure. Gillberg is 0-3. The streak continues) Six Man Tag Team Match of Total Randomness: Kamala, The Yeti, and One Man Gang vs Bushwhacker Butch, Bushwhacker Luke, and Koko B. Ware. Match Background: None. The Match: The Yeti hits a right hand on Koko B. Ware and follows it up with a couple more. Koko B. Ware takes a right hand to the temple from Yeti. Yeti tags out to One Man Gang. One Man Gang hits a right hand on Koko B. Ware. One Man Gang hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. OMG tags out to Kamala. OMG \ Kamala whip Koko into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Kamala punches away at Koko B. Ware. Koko B. Ware fights out of a grapple. Spin kick by Koko B. Ware to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Koko tags out to Bushwhacker Butch. Bushwhacker Butch strikes Kamala with a hard blow. Bushwhacker Butch scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Kamala gets splashed in the corner. Tag to Bushwhacker Luke. Kamala receives some punishment by Bushwhacker Luke but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Kamala takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Kamala pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Kamala tags out to The Yeti. Luke takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Luke tags out to Koko B. Ware. Koko hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Yeti reverses a waistlock. Koko B. Ware is in trouble. Chokeslam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:42 Match Quality:55 (The former Dungeon of Doomers score a win over the 1980s t-shirt and foam finger sellers. Yeti pins Koko with a BIG Choke Slam. He nearly murdered him.) 1985 WWF Show Match: Greg Valentine vs Jimmy Snuka. Match Background: None. The Match: Jimmy Snuk hits a piledriver on Greg Valentine. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Jimmy Snuk face jams Greg Valentine. Slingshot clothesline by Jimmy Snuk, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Jimmy Snuk hits an arm drag on Valentine, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Hooks the leg for a two count. Valentine counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Throat chop by Valentine does nothing but remind me of the Samoan Wrestling Family Tree. Greg Valentine scores with a poor face jam on Jimmy Snuka. Jimmy Snuka once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Jimmy Snuka DDTs Valentine, but it just looked terrible. Jimmy Snuk scores with a forearm, sending Valentine down into the corner. The referee pulls Jimmy Snuka away to get the break. Wait! Valentine has pulled something out of his tights. Jimmy Snuka walks over...and gets floored by a punch! No, the referee saw the brass knuckles! We have DQ decision! My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:47 Match Quality:49 (Valentine hits Snuka with the brass knuckles because he could. He is Greg "The By Gawd Hammer" Valentine. It takes him 14 minutes or so to gear up during the match. The Superfly will get his revenge soon enough) PWH Television Title Final Round Match: Gobbeldy Gooker vs Irwin R. Schyster. Match Background: This match is for the PWH Television title. The Match: Irwin R. Schyster connects with rights and lefts and Gobbeldy Gooker is down! Fallaway slam by Irwin R. Schyster puts down Gobbeldy Gooker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Irwin R. Schyster misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Gobbeldy Gooker snap suplexes IRS HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Gooker is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Irwin R. Schyster just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Gooker. Gobbeldy Gooker snap suplexes IRS HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Gooker is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! IRS backdrops Gobbeldy Gooker out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Irwin R. Schyster. Massive backbreaker on Gooker and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Gobbeldy Gooker tries to get a big slam, but it is blocked when IRS goes to the eyes! Irwin R. Schyster quickly scores with a field-goal kick between the legs! Gobbeldy Gooker collapses! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Gobbeldy Gooker got screwed! My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:74 (IRS is the first PWH Television Champion of the new era. He wins with a good old fashion kick to the groin. Page 36, section III of the PWH Rulebook:Every Heel must cheat to win a match. Heels don't have to cheat if they are hosses however) PWH Tag Team Title Final Round Match: Midnight Express vs Demolition II. Match Background: This match is for the PWH Tag Team titles. The Match: Beautiful scoops and slams Demolition Crush. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Bodyslam by Beautiful. Covers for a quick two count. Crush counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Crush slams Bobby Eaton down and motions to the crowd. Massive backbreaker on Beautiful and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Crush tags out to Demolition Smash. Demolition Smash scores with a standing spinebuster. Bobby Eaton once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Tag to Stan Lane. Stan Lane hits a right hand on Demolition Smash and follows it up with a couple more. Stan Lane strikes Demolition Smash with a hard blow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stan Lane hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Lane tags out to Bobby Eaton. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Bobby Eaton connects and Demolition Smash is down! Pin, but Smash is out just before the three count. Demolition Smash fights out of a grapple. Bobby Eaton charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tag to Demolition Crush. BAAACK Body drop by Beautiful gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Demolition II have Bobby Eaton to themselves. Decapation Elbow! 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:55 Match Quality:69 (Here comes the Crush. Here comes the Smasher. The Demolition are the new tag team champions. We have Ax on the roster yet we don't team him with Smash. The Demoltion are very old. Demolition watch out, they might hit you with their cane) PWH Interconinental Title Final Round Match: Big Bossman vs Honky Tonk Man. Match Background: This match is for the PWH Interconinental title. The Match: Honky Tonk Man hits Bossman. Wack kick from HTM. Bossman receives some punishment by Honky Tonk Man but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. There's a two count on the pin. Weak bodyslam on Bossman by HTM sets up a legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Bossman powers out of a headlock. Big Bossman strikes Honky Tonk Man. There's a two count on the pin. Bossman hits a piledriver on Honky Tonk Man. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. HTM counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Honky Tonk Man turns Bossman inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Big Bossman grabs Honky Tonk Man from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but HTM rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Bossman over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:55 Crowd Reaction:54 Match Quality:56 (HTM still has the ability to cheat. He is also the PWH Interconinental Champion. He is the Honky Tonk Man. What more do you want?) PWH World Title Match: Giant Gonzales vs Nathan Jones. Match Background: This match is for the PWH World title. The Match: Nathan Jones hits some punches. How generic. Running knee lift from Nathan Jones. Nathan J hits a piledriver on Giant Gonzales. That used to end matches, you know. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Giant Gonzales is in trouble. Big Boot!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Hot pokers would be a little too nice to the booking committee for subjecting me to this bile -**. Overall:41 Crowd Reaction:46 Match Quality:32 (Nathan is the two time, two time PWH World Champion. What new challengers will emerge during this title reign? Call the hotline and I will tell you all about it) Overall:51 504 People attended the show.

I had this done for a couple of days but I forgot to post the link. A new card can be found at: http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling3/mcw4/n...lory112102.html So read, enjoy, and if you so desire, Feedback. Thank you.

PWH Saturday Night's Main Event for 12/26/03: Booking With a Dartboard Six Man Dark Match: Tugboat, Van Hammer, and Tatanka vs Chip Minton, Hardbody Harrison, and Horshu. Match Background: Hammer is making his debut at this show. Tatanka is making his debut at this show. The Match: Hardbody strikes away at Van Hammer, not doing much damage at all. Big kick from Hardbody staggers Hammer but that's about it. Tag to Chip Minton. Hammer gets splashed in the corner. Minton hits a piledriver on Van Hammer. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Chip Minton and Horshu. Minton \ Horshu whip Hammer into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Bodyslam by Horshu. Hammer powers out of a headlock. Horshu charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tag to Tugboat. Horshu takes a right hand to the temple from Tugboat. Sloppy discus punch from Tugboat barely connects on Horshu. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Running clothesline from Tugboat was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Tugboat tags out to Tatanka. Uninspired brawling from Tatanka. Weak bodyslam on Horshu by Tatanka sets up a legdrop. Tatanka goes for a splash but Horshu puts the knees up. Horshu tags out to Hardbody Harrison. Running clothesline from Hardbody Harrison was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Tatanka tags out to Van Hammer. Hardbody is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Full nelson slam on Hardbody. Van Hammer moves in for the kill. The Flashback!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:65 (Van Hammer, Tugboat, and Tatanka. Now there is a team. They defeated the WCW Saturday Night Legends. The theme of this version of Pro Wrestling Hogan is:WCW Saturday Night Rejects. Write that down, there will be a quiz on that later. The Card is about to start) PWH Television Title Tournament Semifinal Round Match: Gobbeldy Gooker vs Kamala. Match Background: None. The Match: Kamala hits a weak elbow on Gobbeldy Gooker. Covers for a quick two count. Kamala hits a stump piledriver on Gobbeldy Gooker. Covers for a quick two count. Kamala goes for a splash but Gooker puts the knees up. Gooker drives a thrust kick into the chest of Kamala. Vicious back suplex! Kamala got nailed big time! Pin, but Kamala is out just before the three count. Kamala backdrops Gobbeldy Gooker out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Kamala. Kamala hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Gobbeldy Gooker elbows Kamala in the face to break a hammerlock. Belly to belly off the top rope! Kamala gets whipped into the corner by Gooker, who charges in with a clothesline. Kamala grabs the referee and pulls him in the way! The referee calls for the DQ as he collapses to the mat in pain. Kamala gets out of the ring and walks off, having taken the cheap way out. Gobbeldy Gooker offers a handshake to Kamala...and he accepts it! No! Kamala levels Gooker with a cheap shot right hand! Kamala floors Gooker. Kamala signals - Giant Splash! Gobbeldy Gooker has been floored after the match. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:51 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:53 (GOOKER WINS. GOOKER WINS. Kamala destroys Gooker after the match. It will be the Gooker vs the winner of Saba Simba and IRS next week) Television Title Tournament Semifinal Round Match: Irwin R. Schyster vs Saba Simba. Match Background: None. The Match: IRS scoops and slams Saba Simba. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Saba Simba charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Covers for a quick two count. Irwin R. Schyster misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Saba Simba with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on IRS. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Saba Simba hits a right hand on Irwin R. Schyster and follows it up with a couple more. Saba Simba with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on IRS. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. IRS kicks Saba Simba in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big piledriver on Simba. Saba Simba grabs Irwin R. Schyster from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but IRS rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Simba over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. Overall:49 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:66 (IRS will face The Gooker next week for the PWH Television Title. That should be an interesting match. Saba Simba is not too pleased that IRS cheated to win. They don't do that in the tribe. Retribution shall be his) PWH Interconinental Title Tournament Semifinal Round Match: Bob Backlund vs Honky Tonk Man. Match Background: None. The Match: Backlund receives some punishment by Honky Tonk Man but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Honky Tonk Man strikes Bob Backlund with a hard blow. There's a two count on the pin. Backlund ducks a wild right hand. HTM takes a vertical suplex from Bob Backlund. Backlund suplexes HTM to the canvas and picks the opponent back up again. Bob Backlund snap suplexes HTM HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Backlund is now a bonifide HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Backlund charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. HTM hits a piledriver on Bob Backlund. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Bob Backlund takes a nasty tumble from the top to the outside after a shove from Honky Tonk Man! The referee count to ten, then calls for the bell. Backlund gets counted out. Honky Tonk Man climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as he celebrates his victory My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:49 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:56 (Honky Tonk Man advances to the PWH Interconinental Title finals. You want know why. He's cool, he's cocky, he's bad that's why. The All American Jobber Bob Backlund hit his head on the outside and was counted out) PWH Interconinental Title Semifinal Round Match: Big Bossman vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: None. The Match: Koloff receives some punishment by Big Bossman but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Big Bossman strikes Nikita Koloff with a hard blow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Koloff counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Bossman takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Covers for a quick two count. Powerslam from Nikita Koloff on Bossman. There's a two count on the pin. Bossman kicks Nikita Koloff in the gut to reverse the momentum. Bossman hits a piledriver on Nikita Koloff. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Koloff pushes out of a Big Bossman hold. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Nikita Koloff scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Nikita Koloff DDTs Bossman, but it just looked terrible. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Koloff charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Nikita Koloff is in trouble. Here it comes - Spinebuster. 1....2...3, it's finished. Big Bossman offers a handshake to Koloff...and he accepts it! No! Nikita Koloff levels Bossman with a cheap shot right hand! Nikita Koloff spins Bossman around. Nikita Koloff hits the Russian Sickle! Big Bossman has been floored after the match. My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:50 Crowd Reaction:50 Match Quality:62 (This is the second week in a row that the Boss Man has been laid out after the match. Will he able to beat the Honky Tonk Man next week for the Belt. That is for me to know, and you to find out. Nathan Jones is pissed that Bossman stole his move) PWH World Title Semifinal Match: Giant Gonzales vs The Masked Superstar. Match Background: None. The Match: Giant Gonzales strikes The Masked Superstar. Superstar receives some punishment by Giant Gonzales but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. The Masked Superstar takes a right hand to the temple from Gonzales. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Covers for a quick two count. The Masked Superstar takes a right hand to the temple from Gonzales. Covers for a quick two count. Superstar reverses a waistlock. The Masked Superstar hits some punches. How generic. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gonzales walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Giant Gonzales fights out of a grapple. Giant Gonzales turns Superstar inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Giant Gonzales has The Masked Superstar down on the canvas. Chokey Thing!!! The Masked Superstar taps out! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:27 Crowd Reaction:14 Match Quality:49 (Maybe it wasn't the best idea to book a heel vs heel match but running a fed based upon old guys and stupid gimmicks isn't the best idea either. Gonzo advances to the finals to face the winner of the next match) World Title Semifinal Match: Nathan Jones vs The Yeti. Match Background: None. The Match: Uninspired brawling from The Yeti. Nathan J blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Spear by Nathan Jones. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Nathan Jones just KILLS The Yeti! Nathan Jones moves in for the kill. Big Boot!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Giant Gonzales comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Giant Gonzales drops Nathan J to the canvas. Giant Gonzales quickly locks on the Chokey Thing! Nathan Jones has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:36 Crowd Reaction:40 Match Quality:43 (Nathan Jones vs the Giant Gonzales for the PWH World Title. NEXT WEEK. On Saturday Night's Main Event. We only saw this match about 200 times in PWH Version 1.0 but we are seeing it one more time. ) Overall:42 507 People attended the show. Next Week. The Gooker vs IRS-For the Vacant Television Title. The Big Bossman vs The Honky Tonk Man for the Vacant Interconinental Title. Demolition vs The Midnight Express for the Vacant Tag Team Titles. Nathan Jones vs The Giant Gonzales for the Vacant World Title. And MORE.

PWH Saturday Night's Main Event for 12/16/03: WCW Worldwide Reunion Match: Hardbody Harrison and Horshu vs Bobby Walker and Ice Train vs Disorderly Conduct. Match Background: This will be an elimination bout. Hardbody is making his debut at this show. Horshu is making his debut at this show. Walker is making his debut at this show. The Match: Big kick from Walker staggers Tom but that's about it. Tough Tom takes a right hand to the temple from Walker. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Tag between Bobby Walker and Ice Train. Ice Train hits a right hand on Tough Tom. Ice Train DDTs Tom, but it just looked terrible. Tag to Bobby Walker. Walker \ Ice Train hook up Tom, then hit a double suplex. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Tom tags out to Mean Mike. Big kick from Mike staggers Walker but that's about it. There's a two count on the pin. Walker tags out to Hardbody Harrison. Hardbody Harrison hits Mike. Tag to Ice Train. Hardbody Harrison DDTs Ice Train, but it just looked terrible. Hardbody tags out to Horshu. Death valley driver by Horshu! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Tag between Horshu and Mean Mike. Ice Train hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Ice Train fights out of a grapple. Ice Train DDTs Mike, but it just looked terrible. ONE...TWO...THREE. Ice Train defeats Mike. Wack kick from Ice Train. Big kick from Ice Train staggers Horshu but that's about it. Tag to Bobby Walker. Bobby Walker scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Bobby Walker misses a clothesline. Tag between Horshu and Hardbody Harrison. Hardbody hits a piledriver on Bobby Walker. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Bobby Walker is in trouble. Double Underhook DDT!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:31 Match Quality:65 (Hardbody Harrison and Horshu will be getting a semi push. Well they are the top of the lower level but they will job out to the real tag teams. Ice Train and Hardwork Bobby Walker were part of Teddy Long's WCW Saturday Night Stable of Jobbers back in 1995-1997 along with Craig Pittman, Jumpin' Joey Maggs, Jim Powers, and Bobby Eaton. So anyway, let's get on with the show) PWH Television Title First Round Match: Gillberg vs Gobbeldy Gooker. Match Background: None. The Match: Gobbeldy Gooker snap suplexes Gillberg. Back suplex on Gillberg. Back suplex on Gillberg. There's a two count on the pin. A Gut buster connects on Gillberg and hits hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gillberg pushes out of a Gobbeldy Gooker hold. Chop from Gillberg on Gooker causing the knock down. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy short range spear from Gillberg. Gillberg walks into a drop toe hold. Wicked suplex out of the corner from Gobbeldy Gooker, is executed so well, it hurt MY back. Gillberg gets knocked to the ground by Gooker. Here it comes...The Chicken Wing! Gillberg taps! My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:62 (Man Gooker is SO getting eaten alive next week by Kamala. What luck? The streak is 0-2 and growing. Who will be first? Who knows. ) PWH Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal Match: Midnight Express vs Kendall Windham and Scott Putski. Match Background: None. The Match: Windham takes a headbutt from Bobby Eaton. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Kendall Windham by Beautiful. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Stan Lane. Midnight Express whip Windham into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Stan Lane strikes Kendall Windham with a hard blow. Lane goes for a splash but Windham puts the knees up. Spear by Kendall Windham. Covers for a quick two count. Windham tags out to Scott Putski. Big clothesline from Putski. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Running clothesline from Scott Putski was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Lane blocks a punch. Putski takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Lane tags out to Bobby Eaton. Bobby Eaton connects with rights and lefts and Scott Putski is down! Tag between Scott Putski and Kendall Windham. Running knee lift from Bobby Eaton. Bobby Eaton ducks a Windham clothesline and does a quick roll up. Beautiful has a handful of tights! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:71 (The Midnight Express advance to the finals of the tournament. They will face the winners of the next match. ) PWH Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Demolition II vs New Doom. Match Background: None. The Match: Ron Simmons charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Crush hits a piledriver on Ron Simmons. That used to end matches, you know. Tag to Demolition Smash. BIG clothesline on Simmons. Hooks the leg for a two count. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Demolition Smash connects and Ron Simmons is down! Tag between Demolition Smash and Demolition Crush. Demolition II whip Simmons into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Simmons counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Simmons tags out to Koko B. Ware. Koko B. Ware hits a rolling kick on Crush. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Crush takes a NICE hurrancarana from Koko B. Ware. Koko tags out to Ron Simmons. New Doom hook up Crush, then hit a double suplex. Ron Simmons hits a right hand on Demolition Crush. Simmons hits a piledriver on Demolition Crush. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Simmons tags out to Koko B. Ware. Koko uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Crush counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Tag between Demolition Crush and Demolition Smash. Koko walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Koko B. Ware is in big trouble...Decapation Elbow!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:58 (Demolition vs The Midnight Express in the finals of the tournament two weeks from tonight. It would be an interesting match if this was 1988 and Ax was in Demolition instead of Crush) PWH United States Title First Round Match: Big Bossman vs One Man Gang. Match Background: Bossman is making his debut at this show. OMG is making his debut at this show. The Match: Bossman takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. There's a two count on the pin. OMG hits a piledriver on Big Bossman. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big Bossman elbows One Man Gang in the face to break a hammerlock. One Man Gang takes a right hand to the temple from Bossman. Weak bodyslam by Bossman. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Bossman goes for a splash but OMG puts the knees up. Powerslam from One Man Gang on Bossman. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big Bossman elbows One Man Gang in the face to break a hammerlock. Bossman DDTs One Man Gang. One Man Gang can barely stand. Here it comes - Boss Man Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. Big Bossman offers a handshake to OMG...and he accepts it! No! One Man Gang levels Bossman with a cheap shot right hand! One Man Gang floors Bossman. One Man Gang signals - Big Splash! Big Bossman has been floored after the match. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:51 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:57 (Big Boss Man vs Nikita Koloff in the Semifinals Next Week. One Man Gang splashes Bossman after the match and then steals a sandwhich in his pocket because Gang needs to eat) PWH World Title Tournament First Round Match: Duke Droese vs The Masked Superstar. Match Background: Droese is making his debut at this show. Superstar is making his debut at this show. The Match: Droese takes a headbutt from The Masked Superstar. Duke Droese charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Covers for a quick two count. Droese pushes out of a The Masked Superstar hold. Flying shoulder tackle by Droese sends Superstar CRASHING to the mat. Droese slams The Masked Superstar. Duke Droese with a spinning neckbreaker on Superstar. The Masked Superstar fights out of a grapple. Droese walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. The Masked Superstar moves in for the kill. Swinging Neckbreaker!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:71 (I have Demolition Ax but instead of having him team with Smash and have Crush be The Convict Crush or something like that, I put him in a gimmick that was outdated in the 1970s. The Masked Superstar. It could be worse. I could bring back the Machines and have Masked Superstar being Superstar Machine, Kendall Windham(since Barry won't agree to a written contract and Blackjack Mulligan is not in the update) be Big Machine, and Giant Gonzales be Giant Machine with special apperences by Nathan Machine, Gooker Machine, and Simba Machine or something like that) Hulk Hogan comes out to tell us that the Semifinals will air next week and the finals the following week. The Semifinals are: World: Nathan Jones vs The Yeti The Giant Gonzales vs The Masked Superstar Interconinental: "All-American" Bob Backlund vs Honky Tonk Man Big Bossman vs Nikita Koloff Television: Saba Simba vs IRS The Gooker vs Kamala Hogan poses to end the show. 83 Overall:63 508 People attended the show.

Jake Roberts tells me he has a cocaine habit. I also tell him that the grass is green and the sky is blue, so what's his point. PWH Saturday Night's Main Event for 12/13/03: Dark Match Goodness: Gillberg vs Tugboat. Match Background: Gillberg is making his debut at this show. Tugboat is making his debut at this show. The Match: Tugboat hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Tugboat scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Tugboat turns Gillberg inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Gillberg takes a right hand to the temple from Tugboat. There's a two count on the pin. Gillberg fights out of a grapple. Big kick from Gillberg staggers Tugboat but that's about it. Suplex into a front slam from Gillberg, but the execution was CRAPTASTIC~!. Tugboat blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Tugboat DDTs Gillberg, but it just looked terrible. Tugboat moves in for the kill. Big Splash!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:43 Match Quality:53 (Tugboat and Gillberg make their first appearences in PWH. The streak for Gillberg is 0-1. That's about all I have to say. Let's go to the show) Hosts are of course Mark Madden and Tony Shiavone. First Round of the PWH Television Title Tournament: Irwin R. Schyster vs Freddie Joe Floyd. Match Background: IRS is making his debut at this show. Freddie is making his debut at this show. The Match: Freddie takes a headbutt from Irwin R. Schyster. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Freddie Joe Floyd by IRS. Remember when that was a legit finish? Covers for a quick two count. Freddie counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! A Gut buster connects on IRS and hits hard. IRS gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Freddie! Freddie drives a thrust kick into the chest of IRS. IRS reverses a Freddie Joe Floyd hammerlock. Massive backbreaker on Freddie and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Freddie Joe Floyd is in trouble. Samoan Drop! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:52 Match Quality:74 (IRS pins Freddie Joe Floyd and will face Saba Simba in the semifinals of the tournament to crown a PWH Television Champion. These two are in the dog house for putting on a good match. We CANNOT have that) Demolition II vs New Rockers. Match Background: Crush is making his debut at this show. Smash is making his debut at this show. Jannetty is making his debut at this show. Leif is making his debut at this show. The Match: Fallaway slam by Demolition Smash puts down Leif Cassidy. Smash hits a piledriver on Leif Cassidy. That used to end matches, you know. Smash tags out to Demolition Crush. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Leif Cassidy by Crush. Remember when that was a legit finish? Covers for a quick two count. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Leif! Crush tags out to Demolition Smash. Demolition Crush scoops up Leif. Smash bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Smash drops an elbow...but Leif Cassidy moves out of the way. Leif tags out to Marty Jannetty. Face crusher from Jannetty on Smash sets up for an elbowdrop. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Tag to Leif Cassidy. New Rockers hook up Smash, then hit a double suplex. Smash gets caught with a short powerbomb from Leif. Doctor Bomb connects and Smash landed hard. Leif tags out to Marty Jannetty. Jannetty hits a dropkick on Demolition Smash. Actually, it barely touched! Jannetty walks into a drop toe hold. Tag between Demolition Smash and Demolition Crush. Spear by Demolition Crush. Marty Jannetty can barely stand. Here it comes - Big Foot. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:57 Match Quality:61 (Al Snow got fired by the WWE last week so being the kind hearted soul that I am, I hire him and stick him in the Leif Cassidy gimmick. It was either that or Avatar. Demolition(The Crush version) advances to the semifinals where they will meet either Doom or the Rock and Roll Express. That match is later) First Round of the Interconinental Title Tournament: Honky Tonk Man vs Jake Roberts. Match Background: HTM is making his debut at this show. Roberts is making his debut at this show. The Match: HTM gets splashed in the corner. Covers for a quick two count. Big clothesline from Roberts. Hooks the leg for a two count. Honky Tonk Man avoids a Jake Roberts avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Big kick from HTM staggers Roberts but that's about it. Powerslam from Honky Tonk Man on Roberts. Pin, but Roberts is out just before the three count. Roberts flips out of a Honky Tonk Man bodyslam attempt. Powerslam from Jake Roberts on HTM. Covers for a quick two count. Roberts charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Honky Tonk Man scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Honky Tonk Man gets whipped into the corner. Roberts charges in, but into a pair of raised boots. HTM uses a roll up, with feet on the second rope! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! Roberts grabs the referee, then nails him with a right hand! Dozens of people hit the ring to stop any further incident. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:53 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:56 (Honky Tonk Man beats Jake Roberts and will go on to face All American Bob Backlund in the semifinals of the tournament. Honky used his favoriate tactics, the roll up with the feet on the ropes. Simple, yet effective) First Round of the World Title Tournament: The Yeti vs Jimmy Snuka. Match Background: Yeti is making his debut at this show. Jimmy Snuk is making his debut at this show. The Match: Jimmy Snuka takes a right hand to the temple from Yeti. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Jimmy Snuka takes a right hand to the temple from Yeti. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Yeti strikes away at Jimmy Snuka, not doing much damage at all. There's a two count on the pin. The Yeti hits a right hand on Jimmy Snuka. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jimmy Snuka is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Yeti takes a chop from Jimmy Snuk. Hooks the leg for a two count. Back heel kick from Jimmy Snuk on Yeti but it misses by miles. Jimmy Snuk goes for a splash but Yeti puts the knees up. Yeti DDTs Jimmy Snuka. Jimmy Snuka can barely stand. Chokeslam! 1....2....3. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:55 (The Yeti. Nathan Jones. Match of the Decade. In the Semifinals of the PWH World Title Tournament. Snuka wasn't too happy about doing the job but he should be HONORED to even be in the ring with a legend like the Yeti. ) First Round of the Television Title Tournament: Ice Train vs Kamala. Match Background: Ice Train is making his debut at this show. Kamala is making his debut at this show. The Match: BORING ass brawling from Kamala. Kamala DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on Ice Train. Weak kick from Kamala. I am unpleased. Covers for a quick two count. Weak slam from Kamala sets Ice Train for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Ice Train has no worries. Covers for a quick two count. Ice Train counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Ice Train strikes Kamala. Covers for a quick two count. Big clothesline from Ice Train. Kamala reverses a Ice Train hammerlock. Flapjack from Kamala on Ice Train. Kamala has Ice Train down on the canvas. Giant Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:44 Match Quality:52 (Kamala advances to the Semifinals of the Television Title Tournament. Ice Train, another one of my favorites from WCW Saturday Night. They just don't have guys like this in wrestling. You got all your dang fangled Angles and Benoits and Jerichos and Guerreros but give me Ice Train and Disorderly Conduct any day) First Round of the PWH Tag Team Tournament: Rock N Roll Express vs New Doom. Match Background: Morton is making his debut at this show. Gibson is making his debut at this show. Koko is making his debut at this show. Simmons is making his debut at this show. Rock N Roll Express are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Koko and Simmons are teaming up as New Doom for the first time tonight. The Match: Spinning back kick from Ricky Morton. Spin kick by Ricky Morton to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Hooks the leg for a two count. Koko B. Ware powers out of a Ricky Morton headlock. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Lightning kick by Koko on Morton. Tag between Koko B. Ware and Ron Simmons. Ron Simmons turns Morton inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Ricky Morton fights out of a grapple. Morton tags out to Robert Gibson. Gibson snapmares Ron Simmons and goes for the DREADED chinlock. Gibson hits a dropkick on Ron Simmons. Actually, it barely touched! Covers for a quick two count. Back heel kick from Gibson on Simmons but it misses by miles. Tag between Robert Gibson and Ricky Morton. DDT from the top rope by Ricky Morton. That looked KILLER. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Ron Simmons powers out of a Ricky Morton headlock. Morton gets splashed in the corner. Tag to Koko B. Ware. Implant DDT by Koko B. Ware! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Theodore Long has climbed up onto the apron! Morton turns...and falls for the distraction! Koko B. Ware attacks Morton from behind! Koko B. Ware moves in for the kill. The Ghostbuster! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:53 Match Quality:72 (No Butch Reed in the update so Koko B. Ware and Ron Simmons team up as New Doom with Theodore Long as their manager. They advance and go onto face Demolition next week in the Semifinals. Also next week in the Semifinals. Kendall Windham and Scott Putski vs The Midnight Express) First Round of the PWH Interconinental Title Tournament: Jim Duggan vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: Duggan is making his debut at this show. Koloff is making his debut at this show. The Match: Nikita Koloff hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Koloff DDTs Jim Duggan. Nikita Koloff scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Duggan takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jim Duggan pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Jim Duggan with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Koloff. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Jim Duggan hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Nikita Koloff pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Big clothesline from Koloff. Jim Duggan slugs Nikita Koloff, sending him down into the corner. While Duggan fires up the crowd, Koloff is removing the turnbuckle pad! Jim Duggan comes over...but Koloff grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Jim Duggan face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Nikita Koloff rolls up the stunned Jim Duggan, and even puts his feet on the second rope to add insult to injury! 1....2...3! What a display of cheating from Nikita Koloff. My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:61 Match Quality:61 (Would in be PWH without at least one Jim Duggan vs Nikita Koloff match? I thought not. Koloff advances to the Semifinals of the tournament to face the winner of the final first round match. I think it is Big Boss Man vs One Man Gang but don't quote me on this. I lost my booking napkin(hey it only took me 17 segments to bring up the booking napkin this time)) First Round of the PWH World Title Tournament: Giant Gonzales vs Brutus Beefcake. Match Background: Gonzales is making his debut at this show. Beefcake is making his debut at this show. The Match: Giant Gonzales strikes Brutus Beefcake. Uninspired brawling from Giant Gonzales. Giant Gonzales hits a right hand on Brutus Beefcake. Giant Gonzales strikes Brutus Beefcake with a hard blow. Beefcake flips out of a Giant Gonzales bodyslam attempt. Gonzales gets splashed in the corner. Big clothesline from Beefcake. Covers for a quick two count. Gonzales flips out of a Brutus Beefcake bodyslam attempt. Giant Gonzales hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Hooks the leg for a two count. Giant Gonzales turns Beefcake inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Beefcake blocks a punch. Gonzales receives some punishment by Brutus Beefcake but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Giant Gonzales elbows Brutus Beefcake in the face to break a hammerlock. Giant Gonzales hits a right hand on Brutus Beefcake. Giant Gonzales has Brutus Beefcake down on the canvas. Here it comes...Chokelift! Brutus Beefcake taps! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:42 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:49 (No Chokey Thing. BOOO!!! Gonzo advances to the Semifinals to face someone. Gonzo. Yeti. Nathan Jones. They have all advanced in the tournament. Whomever advances should be elite enough to join these legends) Overall:52

WWF Smackdown 9/13/01: Storm Warning vs Hardy Boyz. Match Background: Hurricane and Storm are teaming up as Storm Warning for the first time tonight. Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Hurricane is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 27 August 2001. The Match: STIFF high kick on Hurricane by Jeff Hardy. Implant DDT by Jeff Hardy! I will always and forever mark out for that move. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Hardy Boyz whip Hurricane into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. The Hurricane powers out of a Matt Hardy headlock. Springboard reverse elbow by The Hurricane. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. There's a two count on the pin. Hurricane tags out to Lance Storm. Storm crushes Matt with a huge legdrop. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Lance Storm hits a rolling kick on Matt. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Matt Hardy reverses a hip toss. Storm takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Hardy. Matt tags out to Jeff Hardy. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Storm goes down. Storm tags out to The Hurricane. Second rope flying axe handle, Hurricane goes down. One day, Jeff might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Jeff Hardy has The Hurricane down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, Swanton Bomb! 1....2....3. My Opinion: A **** rating is well deserved for the competitors in this match. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:96 Spike Dudley vs Rob Van Dam. Match Background: Rob Van Dam is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 10 September 2001. The Match: Rob Van Dam connects with a back heel kick on Spike and gets back up quickly. Spinning back kick from Rob Van Dam. RVD just WAFFLES Spike with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Covers for a quick two count. RVD uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Hooks the leg for a two count. Spike Dudley avoids a Rob Van Dam avalanche by getting out of the damn way! RVD hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Covers for a quick two count. Spike Dudley hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. RVD counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Diamond Dust from Rob Van Dam, Spike is out! Rob Van Dam floors Spike Dudley...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Five Star Frog Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. ** Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:75 Chris Jericho vs Christian. Match Background: None. The Match: Spinning bulldog in the corner and Christian is down! DDT from the top rope by Chris Jericho. That looked KILLER. Chris Jericho scores with a big spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Fallaway slam by Chris Jericho puts down Christian. There's a two count on the pin. Christian comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Christian hits a rolling kick on Jericho. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. SUPER frankensteiner on Jericho, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Jericho reverses a Christian hammerlock. Flying reverse elbow by Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho floors Christian. Here it comes...Walls Of Jericho! Christian taps! Christian is pounding the canvas with punches, shouting about how unfair everything is. My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:79 The Rock vs Shawn Stasiak. Match Background: The Rock is the reigning WCW World champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Nice piledriver on Stasiak. Shawn Stasiak is in trouble. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:74 A.P.A. vs X-Factor II. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. X-Pac is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. X-Pac is the reigning WCW Cruiserweight champion, and has been since 30 July 2001. The Match: Weak bodyslam on X-Pac by Faarooq sets up a legdrop. Big clothesline from Faarooq. Tag to Bradshaw. Bradshaw with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on X-Pac. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. There's a two count on the pin. Bradshaw turns X-Pac inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Bradshaw tags out to Faarooq. A.P.A. whip X-Pac into the corner. Bradshaw whips Faarooq in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Pin, but X-Pac is out just before the three count. X-Pac pushes out of a Faarooq hold. X-Pac tags out to Albert. Albert slams Faarooq down. Faarooq is sure in trouble now. Albert hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Albert tags out to X-Pac. X-Factor II whip Faarooq into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. X-Pac uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Super kick by X-Pac. Tag between X-Pac and Albert. Faarooq gets splashed in the corner. Faarooq blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Big clothesline from Bradshaw. Albert is in big trouble...Spike Powerbomb!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:59 Booker T vs Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Booker scoops and slams Big Show. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Booker scoops and slams Big Show. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Booker slams Big Show. Covers for a quick two count. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Big Show by Booker. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Show pushes out of a Booker T hold. Big Show hits Booker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show hits a piledriver on Booker T. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Booker powers out of a headlock. Booker T scores with a standing spinebuster. Big Show is in trouble. Here it comes - Book End. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:48 Ivory vs Lita. Match Background: None. The Match: Forearm to the face from Lita on Ivory. Ivory is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Ivory punches away at Lita only to get the tides turned quickly. Ivory misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Ivory connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Cover, but there's no one to count for Ivory! Lita fights out of a grapple. Kick to the gut from Lita, who sadly, was even able to botch THAT. Lita tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Ivory. Hooks the leg for a two count. Lita with an enziguri. That reminds me...R.I.P, Owen Hart. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Ivory fights out of a grapple. Ivory hits a bulldog off the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Lita comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Lita floors Ivory...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Moonsault! 1....2....3. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:44 The Alliance vs William Regal, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Tajiri. Match Background: Tajiri is the reigning WCW United States champion, and has been since 10 September 2001. The Match: Scotty just WAFFLES Test with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Scotty uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Scotty tags out to William Regal. Big dropkick by William Regal, who got a ton of air on the move. Tiger bomb by William Regal, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. There's a two count on the pin. Regal tags out to Tajiri. Regal \ Tajiri whip Test into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Second rope flying axe handle, Test goes down. One day, Tajiri might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Test powers out of a Tajiri headlock. Test strikes Tajiri with a hard blow. Test tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. BAAACK Body drop by Tajiri gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Tajiri! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Tajiri by Bubba. Remember when that was a legit finish? Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley. D-Von slams Tajiri. Tajiri charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tajiri counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Tag between Tajiri and Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! D-Von tags out to Test. Wack kick from Test. Test DDTs Scotty, but it just looked terrible. Scotty 2 Hotty is in trouble. Here it comes - Big Boot. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:78 Kurt Angle vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: Back suplex on Rhyno. Double arm suplex by Kurt Angle connects as Rhyno hits hard. Spinning back kick from Kurt Angle. There's a two count on the pin. A Gut buster connects on Rhyno and hits hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rhyno avoids a Kurt Angle avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Angle gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rhyno hits a bulldog off the ropes. Rhyno misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. BURNING HAMMER~! from Kurt Angle is executed with perfect brutally! Kurt Angle has Rhyno down on the canvas. Ankle Lock!!! Rhyno taps out! My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:94 Match Quality:80 Overall:65

WWF Raw 9/10/01: Tazz thinks that Angle may have a chance to beat Austin at the PPV and the Alliance beats the crap out of Tazz. 79 Billy Gunn vs Christian. Match Background: None. The Match: Billy walks into a high dropkick from Christian, almost losing several teeth in the process. Christian just WAFFLES Billy with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Billy goes down. There's a two count on the pin. Hard back suplex on Billy. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Billy backdrops Christian out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Billy Gunn. Uninspired brawling from Billy Gunn. There's a two count on the pin. Billy Gunn hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Christian elbows Billy Gunn in the face to break a hammerlock. DDT from the top rope by Christian. That looked KILLER. Christian grapples with Billy Gunn, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned Billy Gunn: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot! Billy Gunn offers a handshake to Christian...and he accepts it! No! Christian levels Billy with a cheap shot right hand! Christian spins Billy around. Christian hits the Unprettier! Billy Gunn has been floored after the match. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:68 Ivory, Lance Storm, and The Hurricane vs Lita, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy. Match Background: The Hurricane is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 27 August 2001. The Match: BORING ass brawling from Ivory. Ivory strikes Lita. Tag between Ivory and The Hurricane. Hurricane uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! VICIOUS lightning kick by Hurricane on Lita. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between The Hurricane and Lance Storm. Hurricane \ Storm whip Lita into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Flying elbow from Lance Storm connects. Storm charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Lita hits a dropkick on Lance Storm. Tag between Lita and Jeff Hardy. Implant DDT by Jeff Hardy! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Power drive elbow by Jeff Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Jeff Hardy hits a rolling kick on Storm. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Matt just WAFFLES Storm with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Implant DDT by Matt Hardy! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Storm reverses a Matt Hardy hammerlock. Tag between Lance Storm and Ivory. Matt takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Matt tags out to Lita. Lita hits a quick kick on Ivory, only for Ivory to pop back up and eat another one. Badly executed second rope splash by Lita convinces me that I can do better. Ivory gets knocked to the ground by Lita, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Moonsault! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:71 The Alliance vs Bradshaw, Faarooq, and Chris Jericho. Match Background: None. The Match: Jericho slams Rhyno. Jericho uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Tag to Faarooq. Big kick from Faarooq staggers Rhyno but that's about it. Powerslam from Faarooq on Rhyno. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Bradshaw. A.P.A. whip Rhyno into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Bradshaw strikes Rhyno with a hard blow. Rhyno flips out of a Bradshaw bodyslam attempt. BIG clothesline on Bradshaw. Tag to D-Von Dudley. Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. D-Von Dudley scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba hits a right hand. Running knee lift from Bubba Ray Dudley. Bradshaw comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tag to Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho with a spinning neckbreaker on Bubba. Bubba tags out to Rhyno. Jericho is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Rhyno drops an elbow...but Chris Jericho moves out of the way. Chris Jericho floors Rhyno. Here it comes - Lion Sault, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:76 Booker T vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Undertaker is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Booker walks into a drop toe hold. Undertaker strikes Booker T. Booker T charges, Undertaker moves, and the referee is knocked silly! Side suplex from Undertaker. Cover, but there's no one to count for Undertaker! Undertaker misses a clothesline. Running knee lift from Booker T. Spear by Booker T. Hooks the leg for a two count. Booker T scores with a big spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Booker drops an elbow...but Undertaker moves out of the way. Weak bodyslam by Undertaker. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Booker T fights out of a grapple. Steven Richards comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Undertaker turns around. Steven Richards spins Undertaker around. Steven Richards hits the Steven Kick! Steven leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Booker T, Undertaker got pinned. My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:60 Kronik beats down the Undertaker after the match. 63 Chris Kanyon vs Tajiri. Match Background: This match is for the WCW United States title. Chris Kanyon has been WCW United States champion since 26 July 2001. The Match: GORGEOUS Spinning bulldog in the corner and Kanyon is down. Springboard dropkick from Tajiri. Nicely done. Springboard dropkick from Tajiri. Nicely done. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Second rope flying axe handle, Kanyon goes down. One day, Tajiri might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Kanyon counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Stun Gun from Chris Kanyon! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Full nelson slam on Tajiri. Tajiri backdrops Chris Kanyon out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Tajiri. GORGEOUS Spinning bulldog in the corner and Kanyon is down. Tajiri moves in for the kill. Kick Of Death!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:89 Rob Van Dam vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rob Van Dam has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Rob Van Dam hits an irish whip into a shopping cart! Superkick by Rob Van Dam practically knocks out all of Kurt Angle's teeth! Covers for a quick two count. Angle kicks Rob Van Dam in the gut to reverse the momentum. Double arm suplex by Kurt Angle connects as RVD hits hard. Stun Gun from Kurt Angle! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. There's a two count on the pin. Kurt Angle slams RVD onto a trash can lid. Pin, but RVD is out just before the three count. Big dropkick by Kurt Angle, who got a ton of air on the move. RVD reverses a Kurt Angle hammerlock. SUPER frankensteiner on Angle, who hit hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Rob Van Dam. Nicely done. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rob Van Dam hits a rolling kick on Angle. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Angle gets splashed through a table by Rob Van Dam. RVD charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Angle. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Corkscrew BRAINBUSTAH~! RVD gets destroyed by it. Rob Van Dam gets knocked to the ground by Angle. Here it comes...Ankle Lock! Rob Van Dam taps! Steve Austin has a chair. RVD turns and takes a brutal shot to the head. Angle is next to take a hard shot. Stone Cold has demolished everyone! My Opinion: Absolutely solid match. A few minor things brought it down, so I'm tacking on a **** rating. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:95 Kurt Angle vs Rob Van Dam. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Kurt Angle has been WWF Hardcore champion since 10 September 2001. The Match: STIFF high kick on Angle by Rob Van Dam. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Angle goes down. Spinning back kick from Rob Van Dam. Covers for a quick two count. Implant DDT by Rob Van Dam! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Covers for a quick two count. Kurt Angle avoids a Rob Van Dam avalanche by getting out of the damn way! RVD gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Angle! Hooks the leg for a two count. Super kick by Kurt Angle. Rob Van Dam powers out of a Kurt Angle headlock. Springboard dropkick from Rob Van Dam. Nicely done. Kurt Angle gets knocked to the ground by RVD, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Five Star Frog Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give this a ***1\4 rating. If I left it up to you, you'd probably think it was the greatest match ever! Keep trying... Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:86 The Rock vs Stephanie McMahon and Test. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Rock is the reigning WCW World champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Steph who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Flying shoulder tackle by Rock sends Test CRASHING to the mat. Big piledriver on Test. There's a two count on the pin. BAAACK Body drop by Steph gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Stephanie McMahon comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Steph \ Test whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Test hits a right hand on The Rock. Steph hits a stump piledriver on The Rock. Test \ Steph hook up Rock, then hit a double suplex. There's a two count on the pin. Sloppy discus punch from Stephanie McMahon barely connects on Rock. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rock scoops and slams Stephanie McMahon. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? The Rock takes a right hand to the temple from Test. Test scoops up Rock. Steph bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Some pretty weak shots by Steph. Rock reverses a waistlock. Rock kicks Test in the gut to reverse the momentum. Powerbomb on Test. The Rock moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:89 Match Quality:59 Austin says he doesn't care whether or not Kurt will be able to wrestle or not at Unforgiven. 81 Overall:71

WWF Heat 9/9/01: Chuck Palumbo vs Spike Dudley. Match Background: None. The Match: Chuck Palumbo hits some punches. How generic. STIFF~! chop lights up Spike who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Chuck Palumbo connects with rights and lefts and Spike Dudley is down! There's a two count on the pin. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Spike Dudley by Palumbo. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Spike reverses a waistlock. Palumbo receives some punishment by Spike Dudley but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. There's a two count on the pin. Spike Dudley hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Spike Dudley gets taken down out of nowhere! Spear! Spike is down! Chuck Palumbo moves in for the kill. Powerslam! 1....2....3. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:75 Booker T is our guest host tonight on Heat. 81 A look at the events between Edge and Christian 75 Tommy Dreamer vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: Tajiri connects with a back heel kick on Dreamer and gets back up quickly. Hard back suplex on Dreamer. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. There's a two count on the pin. Tajiri charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Bodyslam by Dreamer. Tajiri gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Tommy Dreamer with a spinning neckbreaker on Tajiri. Tommy Dreamer misses a clothesline. Lightning kick by Tajiri on Dreamer. Tommy Dreamer is in trouble. Kick Of Death! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. *** Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:83 Booker T Q and A. 88 Chris Kanyon vs Scotty 2 Hotty. Match Background: This match is for the WCW United States title. Chris Kanyon has been WCW United States champion since 26 July 2001. The Match: Kanyon hits a right hand. BIG clothesline on Scotty. Covers for a quick two count. Scotty 2 Hotty reverses a hip toss. Scotty uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Scotty 2 Hotty connects with a back heel kick on Kanyon and gets back up quickly. Scotty hits a dropkick on Chris Kanyon and gets right back up. Chris Kanyon powers out of a Scotty 2 Hotty headlock. BRAINBUSTAH~! by Chris Kanyon! Scotty 2 Hotty can barely stand. I'm Betta Than You!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:81 A look at the events between Austin, Angle, and RVD over the past week. 83 Overall:74

I'll write that match. Any ideas, PM me.

Default EWR 4.0 data so we start post Vengeance 2003. Wrestlecrap. You bet. McMahons. You Bet Hosses. You bet. Benoit as WWE World Champion. HAHAHAHAHA No. Wrestlers with talent starting to get pushed before getting cut off at the knees. You bet. Storylines that make no sense. Naturally. WWE Velocity 8/2/03: A-Train vs Funaki. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak bodyslam by A-Train. Side suplex from A-Train. Flapjack from A-Train on Funaki. Pin, but Funaki is out just before the three count. Funaki takes a right hand to the temple from A-Train. Hooks the leg for a two count. A-Train goes for a splash but Funaki puts the knees up. Spin kick by Funaki to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Funaki crushes A-Train with a huge legdrop. A-Train pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Powerslam from A-Train on Funaki. A-Train moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Train Wreck. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:62 A look at the events leading up to Vince McMahon vs Brock Lesnar inside the confines of a steel cage on Smackdown. We have been informed that the winner of this match will face Kurt Angle for the WWE World Title at Summerslam. 78 The Executioner vs Chris Kanyon. Match Background: Executione is making his debut at this show. The Match: Kanyon is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Executione scoops and slams Chris Kanyon. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Kanyon gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chris Kanyon charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Covers for a quick two count. Kanyon reverses a waistlock. Kanyon scoops and slams The Executioner. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Covers for a quick two count. Spear by Chris Kanyon. The Executioner comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by The Executioner just KILLS Chris Kanyon! The Executioner has Chris Kanyon down on the canvas. Here it comes...Guillotine! Chris Kanyon taps! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:43 Crowd Reaction:28 Match Quality:59 A look at one of the most popular attractions on Smackdown, Stephanie McMahon, getting beat up by A-Train at Vengeance. We hope she comes back soon. 82 A.P.A. vs Mattitude. Match Background: None. The Match: Big kick from Bradshaw staggers Shannon but that's about it. Bradshaw hits a piledriver on Shannon Moore. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Bradshaw tags out to Ron Simmons. Shannon Moore takes a right hand to the temple from Simmons. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Simmons on Shannon. Simmons tags out to Bradshaw. A.P.A. whip Shannon into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Bradshaw charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Shannon tags out to Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Flying elbow from Matt Hardy Version 1.0 connects. SUPER frankensteiner on Bradshaw, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Tag between Matt Hardy Version 1.0 and Shannon Moore. Mattitude whip Bradshaw into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Shannon hits a dropkick on Bradshaw and gets right back up. Super kick by Shannon Moore. Tag between Shannon Moore and Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 hits a rolling kick on Bradshaw. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Bradshaw reverses a hip toss. Tag to Ron Simmons. Simmons hits a piledriver on Matt Hardy Version 1.0. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is in big trouble...Spike Powerbomb!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:65 Bill DeMott vs Ultimo Dragon. Match Background: None. The Match: Powerslam from Bill DeMott on Ultimo. Sloppy discus punch from Bill DeMott barely connects on Ultimo. Bill DeMott scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but Ultimo is out just before the three count. Ultimo takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Ultimo Dragon comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. DeMott takes a flying neckbreaker from Ultimo Dragon. Lightning kick by Ultimo on DeMott. Ultimo drops an elbow...but Bill DeMott moves out of the way. Weak bodyslam by DeMott. Ultimo Dragon gets knocked to the ground by DeMott, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Big Shot!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:70 Overall:57 Heat will be up next. (If you didn't figure that out)

WWE Smackdown 8/14/03 Vince orders Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle to team up to face Nunzio and Palumbo tonight in the first ever Sicilian Streetfight in the history of Smackdown. 85 Bill DeMott vs Zach Gowan. Match Background: None. The Match: Bill DeMott DDTs Gowan, but it just looked terrible. Bill DeMott scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Bill DeMott scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Bill DeMott hits a right hand on Zach Gowan. Covers for a quick two count. Gowan counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Face crusher from Gowan on DeMott sets up for an elbowdrop. Gowan tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Bill DeMott. DeMott backdrops Zach Gowan out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Bill DeMott. Powerslam from Bill DeMott on Gowan. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Zach Gowan turns around. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 spins Gowan around. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 hits the Twist Of Fate! Matt leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Bill DeMott pins Gowan. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 remains in the ring. Bill DeMott pushes the referee away. Bill DeMott slams Matt down. Bill DeMott climbs to the top rope and hits the Big Shot! My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:58 Nathan Jones vs The Executioner. Match Background: None. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Nathan who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Nathan blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Powerslam from Nathan Jones on Executione. Sloppy discus punch from Nathan Jones barely connects on Executione. The Executioner is in trouble. Here it comes - Big Kick. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:51 Crowd Reaction:53 Match Quality:49 Undertaker is looking for action and Vince gives him a match with the Big Show tonight. 80 Rhyno enlists the help of Sean O' Haire to take out Chris Benoit. It will be Benoit vs O'Haire with Rhyno as the referee TONIGHT. 85 Eddie Guerrero and Matt Hardy Version 1.0 vs Tajiri and Rey Mysterio. Match Background: Rey Mysterio is the reigning WWE Cruiserweight champion. Eddie Guerrero is the reigning WWE United States champion. The Match: Matt hits a dropkick on Rey Mysterio and gets right back up. Super kick by Matt Hardy Version 1.0. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Matt Hardy Version 1.0 and Eddie Guerrero. Eddie \ Matt whip Rey into the corner. Eddie Guerrero whips Matt Hardy Version 1.0 in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Eddie Guerrero hits a rolling kick on Rey. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Covers for a quick two count. Eddie just WAFFLES Rey with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Eddie goes for a splash but Rey puts the knees up. Back heel kick off the second rope, Eddie goes down. Rey tags out to Tajiri. Spin kick by Tajiri to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Eddie is down! Tajiri goes for a splash but Eddie puts the knees up. Tag to Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Matt crushes Tajiri with a huge legdrop. Power drive elbow by Matt Hardy Version 1.0. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Spinning back kick from Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Tajiri reverses a hip toss. Flying cross body off the top rope! Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is in trouble. Here it comes - Kick Of Death. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:83 John Cena says he is going to destroy Billy Kidman tonight. Word life. 89 Billy Kidman vs John Cena. Match Background: None. The Match: Kidman is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Billy Kidman powers out of a John Cena headlock. Kidman just WAFFLES Cena with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Cena reverses an irish whip...and Billy Kidman runs into the referee! Power drive elbow by Billy Kidman. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Cover, but there's no one to count for Billy Kidman! Cena blocks a kick from Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Kidman walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. There's a two count on the pin. John Cena scores with a standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Billy Kidman avoids a John Cena avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Flying cross body off the top rope! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Cena kicks Billy Kidman in the gut to reverse the momentum. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Billy Kidman floors Cena, then signals for the Shooting Star Press. Meanwhile, John Cena has something in his hands. Kidman comes over...and gets nailed with a set of brass knuckles! The referee wakes up to see the pinfall: 1....2....3! It's over. Nathan Jones comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Cena turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Nathan Jones has left Cena down and bloodied. My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:70 Chris Benoit vs Sean O'Haire. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Rhyno will be the referee for this match. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Benoit who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Benoit ducks a wild right hand. Chris Benoit gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Benoit. Chris Benoit misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! O'Haire counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Bodyslam by O'Haire. Benoit walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. There's a two count on the pin. High Angle DDT by Sean O'Haire just SPIKES Chris Benoit down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Benoit flips out of a Sean O'Haire bodyslam attempt. Spear by Chris Benoit. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! O'Haire flips out of a Chris Benoit bodyslam attempt. Chris Benoit turns around...and gets punched in the face by Rhyno! He staggers back, straight into a roll up by Sean O'Haire: 1...2...3! Rhyno nails an unsuspecting Benoit with a forearm to the face. Chris Benoit is in trouble. Gore! Rhyno leaves Benoit down on the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1\2 for you. Overall:83 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:86 Big Show vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Uninspired brawling from Undertaker. Undertaker strikes away at Big Show, not doing much damage at all. Undertaker slams Big Show down. Show is sure in trouble now. Big kick from Undertaker staggers Show but that's about it. Undertaker walks into a drop toe hold. Weak slam from Show sets Undertaker for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Undertaker has no worries. Powerslam from Big Show on Undertaker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Undertaker is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Undertaker hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker DDTs Big Show. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Show backdrops Undertaker out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Big Show. Big Show connects with some weak punches on Undertaker. Undertaker kicks Big Show in the gut to reverse the momentum. Show gets splashed in the corner. Undertaker moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Last Ride. A-Train slides into the ring out of nowhere! Undertaker takes a stiff punch to the face and falls to the canvas. The referee calls for the DQ as A-Train continues to attack Undertaker. Undertaker fights back, and has soon sent both Big Show and A-Train into retreat. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:53 Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle vs Chuck Palumbo and Nunzio. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Kurt Angle is the reigning WWE World champion. The Match: Lesnar gets splashed in the corner. Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Angle! Nunzio \ Palumbo whip Lesnar into the corner. Nunzio whips Chuck Palumbo in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Chuck Palumbo hits a double axehandle off the table onto Angle. Nunzio charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Chuck Palumbo by Angle. Remember when that was a legit finish? Ouch! Palumbo just got flapjacked off the ropes through a table. Brock Lesnar scores with a standing spinebuster. Double arm suplex by Kurt Angle connects as Palumbo hits hard. Kurt Angle floors Chuck Palumbo. Chuck Palumbo gets locked in the Angle Lock! Submission victory! Vince McMahon just came out of nowhere with a chair! Brock Lesnar turns...and gets planted with a big shot to the head! Kurt Angle runs over...but also gets dropped with a vicious chair shot! Vince McMahon has put Lesnar \ Angle down by himself! My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:74 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:74 Overall:72

WWF Smackdown 9/4/01: Hardy Boyz vs Justin Credible and Raven. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Flying elbow from Matt Hardy connects. Lightning kick by Matt on Credible. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. There's a two count on the pin. Credible walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Jeff tags out to Matt Hardy. Hardy Boyz hook up Credible, then hit a double suplex. Pin, but Credible is out just before the three count. Credible backdrops Matt Hardy out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Justin Credible. Tag to Raven. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Matt Hardy by Raven. Remember when that was a legit finish? Raven hits a bulldog off the ropes. Tag to Justin Credible. Raven \ Credible hook up Matt, then hit a double suplex. Matt gets splashed in the corner. Justin Credible DDTs Matt, but it just looked terrible. Tag between Justin Credible and Raven. Bodyslam by Raven. Raven drops an elbow...but Matt Hardy moves out of the way. Tag between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy. Jeff crushes Raven with a huge legdrop. Jeff Hardy has Raven down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Swanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: All it gets is a ***1\2 rating from me. Deal with it. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:86 Christian says he was sick of living in the shadow of Edge and Christian is challenging Edge to a match for the Interconinental Title at Unforgiven. 80 Steven Richards is supposed to face the Undertaker but Kronik makes their WWF return and beats down UT. High Times to UT and he is down. Kronik and Steven Richards have formed an alliance. 70 The Rock vs Shane McMahon and Booker T at Unforgiven in a handicap match. 70 Billy Gunn vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: Test hits a piledriver on Billy Gunn. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Sloppy discus punch from Test barely connects on Billy. Test DDTs Billy Gunn. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Test with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Billy. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Hooks the leg for a two count. Billy Gunn is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Billy Gunn strikes Test with a hard blow. Billy Gunn hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Billy Gunn misses a clothesline. Test hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Test moves in for the kill. Big Boot! 1....2....3. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:74 Kurt Angle hypes up Unforgiven against Stone Cold. 89 Big Show vs The Hurricane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. The Hurricane has been WWF European champion since 27 August 2001. The Match: Big Show hits Hurricane. Weak bodyslam on Hurricane by Show sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Hurricane blocks a punch. Flying elbow from The Hurricane connects. Hurricane just WAFFLES Show with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Spin kick by The Hurricane to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Hurricane goes for a splash but Show puts the knees up. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Big Show moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Show Stopper. Lance Storm quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Big Show turns around. Lance Storm drops Show to the canvas. Lance Storm quickly locks on the Canadian Maple Leaf! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Storm! The Hurricane and Lance Storm try to beat down Big Show, but end up getting run out of the ring by a furious Big Show. They leave quickly before they end up taking any more punishment. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:67 Team Rock vs The Alliance. Match Background: Team Rock consists of The Rock, Bradshaw, Faarooq, and Chris Jericho. The Alliance consists of Booker T, Rhyno, Bubba Ray Dudley, and D-Von Dudley. The Rock is the reigning WCW World champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: D-Von receives some punishment by Bradshaw but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Bradshaw slams D-Von Dudley down. D-Von is sure in trouble now. Tag to The Rock. STIFF~! chop lights up D-Von who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Tag between D-Von Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Rock hits a right hand. Tag between The Rock and Faarooq. Rock \ Faarooq whip Bubba into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Faarooq. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Chris Jericho. Jericho hits a dropkick on Bubba Ray Dudley and gets right back up. Jericho crushes Bubba with a huge legdrop. Tag to Bradshaw. Side suplex from Bradshaw. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Bradshaw gets taken down out of nowhere! Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and Booker T. BAAACK Body drop by Bradshaw gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Big piledriver on Bradshaw. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Booker T and Rhyno. Booker \ Rhyno whip Bradshaw into the corner. Booker T whips Rhyno in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Covers for a quick two count. Spear! Rock is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Rock pushes out of a Rhyno hold. The Rock with a spinning neckbreaker on Rhyno. Rock tags out to Chris Jericho. Reverse DDT on Rhyno. Rhyno counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Rhyno tags out to Booker T. Rhyno \ Booker whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Jericho! Chris Jericho is in trouble. Here it comes - Book End. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'm capable of giving out high star ratings...but only for matches that really deserve it. This one didn't. **1/4. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:74 Rob Van Dam vs Steve Austin. Match Background: Steve Austin is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. Rob Van Dam is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Rob Van Dam by Stone Cold. Remember when that was a legit finish? RVD walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. There's a two count on the pin. Rob Van Dam pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Stone Cold walks into a high dropkick from Rob Van Dam, almost losing several teeth in the process. RVD uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Covers for a quick two count. DDT from the top rope by Rob Van Dam. That looked KILLER! Pin, but Stone Cold is out just before the three count. RVD uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Stone Cold blocks a punch. Massive backbreaker on RVD and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Steve Austin just KILLS Rob Van Dam! Pin, but RVD is out just before the three count. Running knee lift from Steve Austin. RVD gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Stone Cold charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Stone Cold takes a flying neckbreaker from Rob Van Dam. Slingshot senton by RVD, crushing the chest cavity of Stone Cold. Steve Austin gets knocked to the ground by RVD, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Five Star Frog Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give this a ***1\4 rating. If I left it up to you, you'd probably think it was the greatest match ever! Keep trying... Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:83 Kurt Angle and Stone Cold have a staredown to go off the air. 92 Overall:76

WWF Raw 9/3/01: Undertaker vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: A weak headbutt on Test by Undertaker causes nothing but pain for both. Undertaker strikes away at Test, not doing much damage at all. Test takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Weak bodyslam on Test by Undertaker sets up a legdrop. Test powers out of a Undertaker headlock. Undertaker takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Weak bodyslam by Test. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker ducks a wild right hand. Undertaker hits a piledriver on Test. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Undertaker on Test. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Test flips out of a Undertaker bodyslam attempt. A weak headbutt on Undertaker by Test causes nothing but pain for both. Undertaker reverses a Test hammerlock. Undertaker with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Test. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Test is in trouble. Last Ride! Steven Richards slides into the ring out of nowhere! Undertaker takes a stiff punch to the face and falls to the canvas. The referee calls for the DQ as Steven Richards continues to attack Undertaker. Test and Steven tie Undertaker up in the ropes, then start punching away at him until referees run down and break it up. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:73 Steven Richards blames UT for the break up of RTC and challenges him to a match on Smackdown. 66 Dudley Boyz vs Big Show and Tajiri. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: BAAACK Body drop by Show gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Nice piledriver on Show. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba Ray Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Show. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bubba Ray Dudley scores with a standing spinebuster. Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz hook up Show, then hit a double suplex. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Show blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Show tags out to Tajiri. Implant DDT by Tajiri! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by Tajiri. Tag to Big Show. Tajiri \ Show whip D-Von into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. D-Von gets splashed in the corner. Weak bodyslam by Show. Show tags out to Tajiri. Tajiri hits a dropkick on D-Von Dudley and gets right back up. D-Von blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Big piledriver on Tajiri. Tajiri is in big trouble...3D!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:68 Shawn Stasiak vs Spike Dudley. Match Background: None. The Match: Uninspired brawling from Spike Dudley. Running clothesline from Spike Dudley was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Covers for a quick two count. Shawn Stasiak powers out of a Spike Dudley headlock. BIG clothesline on Spike. Stasiak scoops and slams Spike Dudley. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Spike Dudley by Stasiak. Remember when that was a legit finish? Spike ducks a wild right hand. Powerslam from Spike Dudley on Stasiak. Shawn Stasiak gets whipped into the turnbuckles by Spike. Dudley Dogg! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:69 Perry Saturn asks the Hurricane to help him find Moppy and Hurricane pins the blame on Matt Hardy. 61 Christian vs The Rock. Match Background: This match is for the WCW World title. The Rock has been WCW World champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Christian is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Christian pushes out of a The Rock hold. Standing leg lariat by Christian on Rock. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Vicious kick to the teeth from Christian. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! The Rock fights out of a grapple. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Christian by Rock. Remember when that was a legit finish? Nice piledriver on Christian. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by The Rock just KILLS Christian! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Christian blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Christian crushes Rock with a running senton. Pin, but Rock is out just before the three count. Rock blocks a kick from Christian. The Rock moves in for the kill. Rock Bottom!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Booker T comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Rock turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Booker T has left Rock down and bloodied. My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:75 Kurt Angle jumps Stone Cold and kidnaps him. 91 Lita and Matt Hardy vs The Hurricane and Ivory. Match Background: The Hurricane is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 27 August 2001. The Match: STIFF high kick on Matt by The Hurricane. Second rope flying axe handle, Matt goes down. One day, Hurricane might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Ivory. Hurricane \ Ivory whip Matt into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Boring brawling from Ivory is the cure for insomnia. Matt Hardy reverses a hip toss. Tiger bomb by Matt Hardy, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Matt Hardy and Lita. Back heel kick from Lita on Ivory, but it missed by miles. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Lita hits an arm drag on Ivory, followed by about 3 BILLION more. Lita misses a clothesline. Weak slam from Ivory sets Lita for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Lita has no worries. Tag between Ivory and The Hurricane. The Hurricane kicks the leg, knocks Lita down, and goes to work on it. Tag to Matt Hardy. Hurricane hits a dropkick on Matt Hardy and gets right back up. Matt Hardy is in trouble. Here it comes - Eye of the Hurricane. 1....2...3, it's finished. Perry Saturn comes running down the aisle with a chair, and gets into the ring! Saturn hits Hurricane with a chair to the back! The Hurricane goes down to the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:65 Edge vs Lance Storm. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Edge has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Flying elbow from Lance Storm connects. Storm crushes Edge with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge backdrops Lance Storm out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Edge. Storm is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Edge with a spinning neckbreaker on Storm. There's a two count on the pin. Powerbomb on Storm. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. BIG clothesline on Storm. Edge drops an elbow...but Lance Storm moves out of the way. Super kick by Lance Storm. Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Lance Storm. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Second rope flying axe handle, Edge goes down. One day, Storm might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Spinning back kick from Lance Storm. Edge once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. BIG clothesline on Storm. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Edge just KILLS Lance Storm! Lance Storm can barely stand. Spear! 1....2....3. Christian comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Edge turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Christian has left Edge down and bloodied. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:75 Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam and Rhyno. Match Background: Rob Van Dam is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Chris Jericho snap suplexes RVD. Jericho hits a dropkick on Rob Van Dam and gets right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jericho tags out to Jeff Hardy. Jericho \ Jeff whip RVD into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. RVD takes a flying neckbreaker from Jeff Hardy. Rob Van Dam fights out of a grapple. VICIOUS lightning kick by RVD on Jeff. Covers for a quick two count. RVD tags out to Rhyno. Massive backbreaker on Jeff and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Jeff Hardy by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? Jeff flips out of a Rhyno bodyslam attempt. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho. STIFF~! chop lights up Rhyno who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Rhyno tags out to Rob Van Dam. Second rope flying axe handle, RVD goes down. One day, Jericho might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Rob Van Dam gets knocked to the ground by Jericho. Here it comes...Walls Of Jericho! Rob Van Dam taps! My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:88 Kurt Angle threatens to throw Stone Cold into a river unless he gives Kurt a title shot. Austin agrees and Kurt kicks Austin into a kiddie pool. Austin vs Kurt one more time for the belt at Unforgiven. 81 Overall:74

WWF Heat 9/2/01: Chuck Palumbo vs Matt Hardy is TONIGHT'S Main Event. 76 Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs TAKA Michinoku. Match Background: None. The Match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. connects with a back heel kick on TAKA and gets back up quickly. TAKA walks into a high dropkick from Chavo Guerrero Jr., almost losing several teeth in the process. STIFF high kick on TAKA by Chavo Guerrero Jr.. Hooks the leg for a two count. Hard back suplex on TAKA. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Hooks the leg for a two count. TAKA backdrops Chavo Guerrero Jr. out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of TAKA Michinoku. TAKA hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flying cross body off the top rope! TAKA Michinoku gets taken down out of nowhere! Springboard dropkick from Chavo Guerrero Jr.. Nicely done. Chavo Guerrero Jr. moves in for the kill. Tornado DDT! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:94 Hugh Morrus vs Hardcore Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: Hardcore Holly hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Hardcore Holly scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Flapjack from Hardcore on Morrus. Pin, but Morrus is out just before the three count. Hugh Morrus takes a right hand to the temple from Hardcore. Hooks the leg for a two count. Morrus blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Hugh Morrus hits a right hand on Hardcore Holly. Powerslam from Hugh Morrus on Hardcore. Hardcore Holly pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Hardcore Holly hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Hugh Morrus is in trouble. Falcon Arrow!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:43 Match Quality:76 Tazz is tonight's guest host on Heat. 73 Shawn Stasiak vs Billy Gunn. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak bodyslam by Billy. Side suplex from Billy. Billy Gunn scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Big kick from Billy staggers Stasiak but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. Shawn Stasiak comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Running knee lift from Shawn Stasiak. Nice piledriver on Billy. Shawn Stasiak gets taken down out of nowhere! Powerslam from Billy Gunn on Stasiak. Stacy Keibler has climbed up onto the apron! Billy turns...and falls for the distraction! Shawn Stasiak runs at Billy from behind...but misses! Shawn Stasiak collides with Stacy Keibler! Shawn Stasiak can barely stand. Fame-Ass-Er! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right? Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:70 Q and A with Tazz. 74 Chuck Palumbo vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: None. The Match: Palumbo walks into a high dropkick from Matt Hardy, almost losing several teeth in the process. Second rope flying axe handle, Palumbo goes down. One day, Matt might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Matt walks into a drop toe hold. Chuck Palumbo with a spinning neckbreaker on Matt. Chuck Palumbo connects with rights and lefts and Matt Hardy is down! Matt Hardy charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Matt blocks a kick from Chuck Palumbo. Super kick by Matt Hardy. Chuck Palumbo can barely stand. Twist Of Fate!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Chuck Palumbo gives a murderous look toward Matt Hardy...and attacks! Matt gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Palumbo picks him up...and launches him over the top rope to the outside. A small measure of revenge has been taken. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:78 A look at the events between Kurt Angle and Steve Austin over the past week. 86 Overall:71

WWE Raw 8/11/03 We see Rico and Stevie Richards down on the floor. Kane is beating up Tommy Dreamer and choke slam onto a table. Tommy Dreamer attempts to calm down Kane but he gets thrown headfirst into the wall. The Hurricane has just arrived and Kane is now beating him down. Rosey attempts to save Hurricane but Kane beats up Rosey. Kane picks up a wooden axehandle and shatters it over the head of Rosey. Sercurity surrounds Kane but Kane has a weapon and he is armed. 80 Rob Van Dam vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: Test hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Sloppy discus punch from Test barely connects on RVD. Side suplex from Test. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Running clothesline from Test was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hooks the leg for a two count. RVD blocks a kick from Test. Implant DDT by Rob Van Dam! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Test takes a NICE hurrancarana from Rob Van Dam. RVD charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Test hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Rob Van Dam can barely stand. Test Drive! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right? Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:70 Eric Bischoff is about to make Goldberg fight all three members of Evolution tonight but Stone Cold interjects and inserts Booker T as a partner for Goldberg to even up the odds. Tonight Booker T and Goldberg vs Evolution. 81 Gail Kim and Val Venis vs Molly Holly and Rodney Mack. Match Background: Molly Holly is the reigning WWE Womens champion. The Match: Gail Kim gets hip tossed by Molly. Molly hits an arm drag on Kim, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Rodney Mack. Molly \ Mack whip Kim into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gail Kim charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Kim reverses a Rodney Mack hammerlock. Back heel kick from Kim on Mack but it misses by miles. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Val Venis. Venis hits a piledriver on Rodney Mack. That used to end matches, you know. Pin, but Mack is out just before the three count. Val Venis with a spinning neckbreaker on Mack. Mack counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. BIG clothesline on Venis. Tag between Rodney Mack and Molly Holly. Molly hits a short arm drag on Venis. Tag between Val Venis and Gail Kim. Molly Holly arm drags Kim over and locks on an armbar. Mark Henry comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Kim turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Henry! Mark Henry has left Kim in big trouble. Molly Holly climbs to the top turnbuckle as Gail Kim is stunned. Molly Go Round! 1....2....3. Mark Henry is still in the ring. He signals for the Big Splash! Their music hits, and out come The Rookie Sensations to make the save! They march down aisle, which causes Henry to swiftly exit the ring and leave through the crowd! The Rookie Sensations stopped Mark Henry from continuing his assault. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:64 Ivory vs Trish Stratus. Match Background: None. The Match: Trish Stratus with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Ivory. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Big clothesline from Trish. Hooks the leg for a two count. Trish walks into a drop toe hold. Ivory hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Trish Stratus is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Weak slam from Ivory sets Trish for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Trish has no worries. Covers for a quick two count. Ivory connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Ivory hits a BIG clothesline for two! Trish ducks a wild right hand. Trish Stratus hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Covers for a quick two count. Trish Stratus scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but Ivory is out just before the three count. Weak bodyslam on Ivory by Trish sets up a legdrop. Trish Stratus hits a right hand on Ivory and follows it up with a couple more. Ivory reverses a hip toss. Trish takes a sloppy snap suplex from Ivory. Ivory uses something that LOOKS like a reverse suplex. The judges say yes, but barely. Victoria just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Victoria has a chair, and drops Ivory and Trish with devastating blows, causing the referee to call for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest! Victoria has grabbed a chair. Ivory walks over...and gets floored with a hard shot. Trish also takes a hard shot. Victoria has laid everybody out! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:51 Theodore Long comes into Eric Bischoff's office and bitches about those white boys Jindrak and Cade ruining his plan tonight. Bischoff offers Kane to destroy Jindrak and Cade and Long is agreeable to that. Kane has already destroyed five men in the backstage area tonight. The body count could be up to seven after tonight. 81 Lance Storm vs Scott Steiner. Match Background: None. The Match: Poppa Pump strikes away at Lance Storm, not doing much damage at all. Lance Storm pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Standing leg lariat by Lance Storm on Poppa Pump. Lance Storm misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Back heel kick off the second rope, Poppa Pump goes down. Cover, but there's no one to count for Lance Storm! Poppa Pump flips out of a Lance Storm bodyslam attempt. Scott Steiner hits a right hand on Lance Storm. Scott Steiner DDTs Storm, but it just looked terrible. There's a two count on the pin. Poppa Pump DDTs Lance Storm. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Lance Storm fights out of a grapple. Super kick by Lance Storm. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Poppa Pump blocks a punch. Scott Steiner signals for the Steiner Spiral! Test comes out of the crowd and into the ring! Scott Steiner turns around. Test spins Poppa Pump around. Test hits the Running Big Boot! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Test! Test has a chair. Scott Steiner stands up...and gets floored by a shot to the head. Another two shots smack down across his back, leaving him unmoving on the canvas. Test sets the chair up, then picks up Scott Steiner. He gets whipped into the ropes...and then drop toe holded, sending him face first into the chair! Test has left Poppa Pump down and bloodied in the ring after a brutal assault! My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:65 Goldberg walks backstage and Ric Flair attempts to jump him but Goldberg beats up Flair. Orton hits the RKO on Goldberg on the concrete. Flair and Orton hold Goldberg and Triple H smashes Goldberg over the head with the sledgehammer. Goldberg is layed out. Evolution lead and a bloody Goldberg pops up and goes after Evolution. 80 Kane vs The Rookie Sensations. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Match: Garrison Cade connects with a back heel kick on Kane and gets back up quickly. Running knee lift from Mark Jindrak. The Rookie Sensations whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Springboard dropkick from Garrison Cade. Nicely done. Pin, but Kane is out just before the three count. The Rookie Sensations whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Cade blocks a punch. Spear by Kane. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Garrison Cade fights out of a grapple. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. The Rookie Sensations whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane powers out of a Garrison Cade headlock. Kane scores with a standing spinebuster. Covers for a quick two count. Garrison Cade fights out of a grapple. Flying cross body off the top rope! Big piledriver on Kane. Shane McMahon comes running down the aisle with a chair! Jindrak whips Kane into the ropes. Shane jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Shane, Kane, and the chair! Kane staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:71 Kevin Nash is Chris Jericho's guest tonight on the Highlight Reil. They argue for about 15 minutes over who's hair is better and Jericho cheapshots Nash with a chair. Jericho then pulls a pair of scissors out of his pocket and cuts a big chunk of Nash's hair off. Nash is pissed and Jericho runs. Nash destroys the whole set and power bombs a cameraman. Nash is mad. 79 Booker T and Goldberg vs Evolution. Match Background: This will be a 3 on 2 handicap bout. Goldberg and HHH have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. Triple H is the reigning World Heavyweight champion. Booker T is the reigning WWE Intercontinental champion. The Match: BIG clothesline on Booker. Triple H with a spinning neckbreaker on Booker. Booker counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Death valley driver by Booker T! No one executes that move properly anymore. Tag between Triple H and Ric Flair. Booker T hits some punches. How generic. Massive backbreaker on Flair and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. Ric Flair fights out of a grapple. Tag between Ric Flair and Randy Orton. Orton \ Flair whip Booker into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Randy Orton ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Booker T by Orton. Remember when that was a legit finish? Hooks the leg for a two count. Spinebuster by Randy Orton. Pin, but Booker is out just before the three count. Death valley driver by Randy Orton! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Tag between Randy Orton and Ric Flair. Flair \ Orton whip Booker into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Booker receives some punishment by Ric Flair but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Booker reverses a waistlock. Spinebuster by Booker T. Tag between Booker T and Goldberg. Goldberg \ Booker whip Flair into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Goldberg hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flair tags out to Triple H. Some pretty weak shots by Goldberg. Goldberg hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Pin, but HHH is out just before the three count. Triple H avoids a Goldberg avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Tag between Triple H and Randy Orton. HHH \ Orton whip Goldberg into the corner. Triple H whips Randy Orton in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. BAAACK Body drop by Goldberg gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Ric Flair. Ric Flair DDTs Goldberg, but it just looked terrible. Sloppy discus punch from Ric Flair barely connects on Goldberg. Goldberg blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Side suplex from Goldberg. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Ric Flair is in trouble. Jackknife! 1....2....3. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:61 Overall:73

WWE Heat 8/10/03 In front of a Sunday Night Heat Logo, Stevie Richards and Victoria promise to put a world of hurt on Jacqueline and Maven tonight in their mixed tag team match. 68 The Shadows vs The Rookie Sensations. Match Background: Shadow #1 is making his debut at this show. Shadow #2 is making his debut at this show. He is a regular with RoH. The Match: Spinning back kick from Shadow #1. Cade takes a flying neckbreaker from Shadow #1. Hooks the leg for a two count. Cade backdrops Shadow #1 out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Garrison Cade. Spin kick by Garrison Cade to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Cade crushes Shadow #1 with a running senton. Tag between Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak. Powerbomb on Shadow #1. Mark Jindrak gets taken down out of nowhere! Tag between Shadow #1 and Shadow #2. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Jindrak goes down. Implant DDT by Shadow #2! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Covers for a quick two count. Jindrak takes a NICE hurrancarana from Shadow #2. Shadow #2 tags out to Shadow #1. Tiger suplex on Jindrak. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Shadow #1 gets taken down out of nowhere! Shadow #1 charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tag between Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade. Shadow #1 takes a flying neckbreaker from Garrison Cade. Shadow #1 is in big trouble...Bearhug/Running Dropkick!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:69 A look at Trips vs Goldberg at Summerslam. 78 Rosey and Hurricane vs La Resistance. Match Background: This match is for the World Tag Team titles. The Match: Spinning back kick from Hurricane. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. There's a two count on the pin. Dupree blocks a kick from Hurricane. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Hurricane by Dupree. Remember when that was a legit finish? Spinebuster by Rene Dupree. Dupree tags out to Sylvan Grenier. Grenier DDTs Hurricane. Hurricane reverses a waistlock. Tag between Hurricane and Rosey. A weak headbutt on Grenier by Rosey causes nothing but pain for both. Running clothesline from Rosey was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rosey hits a piledriver on Sylvan Grenier. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Tag to Hurricane. Diamond Dust from Hurricane and Grenier is out! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Grenier counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Weak bodyslam on Hurricane by Grenier sets up a legdrop. Tag between Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree. Rene Dupree with a spinning neckbreaker on Hurricane. Hurricane is in big trouble...La Crepe!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:70 Chris Jericho cuts an interview in front of the Sunday Night Heat logo promising that Tommy Dreamer will never evverr be the same again after their main event match tonight. 97 Jacqueline and Maven vs Victoria and Stevie Richards. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak bodyslam on Victoria by Maven sets up a legdrop. Powerslam from Maven on Victoria. Maven tags out to Jacqueline. Jacqueline hits a BIG clothesline for two! Covers for a quick two count. Jacqueline scores with a shitty standing spinebuster. Tag to Maven. Jacquie \ Maven whip Victoria into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Pin, but Victoria is out just before the three count. Victoria powers out of a headlock. Tag between Victoria and Stevie Richards. Fallaway slam by Stevie Richards puts down Maven. Stevie hits a piledriver on Maven. That used to end matches, you know. Tag between Stevie Richards and Victoria. Stevie \ Victoria whip Maven into the corner. Stevie Richards whips Victoria in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Maven takes a right hand to the temple from Victoria. Victoria hits a piledriver on Maven. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Tag to Stevie Richards. Stevie slams Maven down and motions to the crowd. Maven blocks a punch. Tag to Jacqueline. Jacqueline hits a bulldog off the ropes. Jacqueline moves in for the kill. Martial Arts Kick! 1....2....3. My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:62 Match Quality:55 Chris Jericho vs Tommy Dreamer. Match Background: None. The Match: Flying shoulder tackle by Dreamer sends Jericho CRASHING to the mat. Nice piledriver on Jericho. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chris Jericho reverses a hip toss. Dreamer takes a headbutt from Chris Jericho. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. There's a two count on the pin. Tor-NADO DDT from Chris Jericho, Dreamer got planted! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Jericho walks into a drop toe hold. Spear by Tommy Dreamer. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver by Tommy Dreamer! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Chris Jericho by Dreamer. Remember when that was a legit finish? Jericho gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Jericho reverses a waistlock. Chris Jericho snap suplexes Dreamer HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Jericho is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Brutal sit out powerbomb on Dreamer! Tommy Dreamer grabs Chris Jericho from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Jericho rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Dreamer over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! Chris Jericho slides out of the ring to the floor, then turns and leaves through the crowd. He's happy to have the win, and evidently isn't going to hang around for Dreamer to get some payback. My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:73 Overall:65

WWE Velocity 8/9/03 Funaki vs Shannon Moore. Match Background: None. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Funaki goes down. Implant DDT by Shannon Moore! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Hooks the leg for a two count. Funaki ducks a wild right hand. Funaki hits a dropkick on Shannon Moore and gets right back up. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Shannon goes down. Funaki hits a dropkick on Shannon Moore and gets right back up. Shannon Moore comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Funaki takes a NICE hurrancarana from Shannon Moore. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Funaki knocks Shannon to the outside, then signals for the Tornado DDT. He reaches out of the ring for Shannon Moore...and gets clobbered with the ring bell! Right to the head! The referee wakes up to see Shannon sliding in and making the pinfall: 1....2....3! Forget about it. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:75 A look at the events between Vince McMahon and Brock Lesnar from Smackdown. 74 Chris Kanyon vs Rikishi. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak bodyslam by Rikishi. Flapjack from Rikishi on Kanyon. Sloppy discus punch from Rikishi barely connects on Kanyon. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rikishi hits a right hand on Chris Kanyon. Covers for a quick two count. Kanyon flips out of a Rikishi bodyslam attempt. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Rikishi by Kanyon. Remember when that was a legit finish? Spear by Chris Kanyon. Rikishi fights out of a grapple. Weak bodyslam by Rikishi. Chris Kanyon can barely stand. Here it comes - Rikishi Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:64 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:57 A look at the FBI beating down Kurt Angle from Smackdown and Nunzio spilling his milk. 78 Ultimo Dragon vs Nunzio. Match Background: None. The Match: Big forearm by Nunzio makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Ultimo tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Hooks the leg for a two count. Ultimo Dragon once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Ultimo uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Nunzio goes down. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Nunzio reverses a Ultimo Dragon hammerlock. Massive back suplex! Ultimo Dragon got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Nunzio has Ultimo Dragon down on the canvas. Sicillian Crab!!! Ultimo Dragon taps out! My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. ** Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:76 A.P.A. vs World's Greatest Tag Team. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. World's Greatest Tag Team are the reigning WWE Tag Team champions. The Match: Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Bradshaw by Shelton. Remember when that was a legit finish? Gutwrench into a powerbomb, aka the Doctor Bomb and Bradshaw hits hard. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas. World's Greatest Tag Team hook up Bradshaw, then hit a double suplex. Bradshaw takes a flying neckbreaker from Charlie Haas. Covers for a quick two count. Charlie Haas connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Bradshaw powers out of a Charlie Haas headlock. Flapjack from Bradshaw on Haas. Tag between Bradshaw and Ron Simmons. Big kick from Simmons staggers Haas but that's about it. Powerslam from Ron Simmons on Haas. Charlie Haas once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Tag between Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. Reverse DDT on Simmons. Powerbomb on Simmons. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Shelton scoops and slams Ron Simmons. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Simmons powers out of a headlock. Powerslam from Ron Simmons on Shelton. Shelton Benjamin is all alone...Spike Powerbomb!! 1....2....3! World's Greatest Tag Team look like they aren't done...and they attack A.P.A.! After an exchange of blows, Simmons and Bradshaw are laid out in the ring. My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:80 Overall:62

WWE Smackdown 8/6/03: Vince McMahon says he won't be able to face Brock Lesnar tonight inside a Steel Cage because he has some "business" to conduct with Sable. Vince says that Brock will face both A-Train and Big Show in a handicap match. If Brock wins, Brock gets the title shot. If A-Train and Show win, VINCE gets the title shot at Summerslam. 87 John Cena vs Orlando Jordan. Match Background: None. The Match: John Cena connects with rights and lefts and Orlando Jordan is down! Fallaway slam by John Cena puts down Orlando Jordan. Big piledriver on Jordan. Spear! Jordan is down! The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Orlando Jordan floors Cena, then signals for the Moonsault. Meanwhile, John Cena has something in his hands. Jordan comes over...and gets nailed with a set of brass knuckles! The referee wakes up to see the pinfall: 1....2....3! It's over. Nathan Jones comes running down the aisle with a chair! John Cena is just leaving the ring...and Nathan scores with a brutal chair shot! John Cena falls to the floor holding his head. My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:63 Billy Gunn vs Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Match Background: None. The Match: Billy Gunn hits a right hand on Matt Hardy Version 1.0 and follows it up with a couple more. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. STIFF high kick on Billy by Matt Hardy Version 1.0. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Vicious kick to the teeth from Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Cover, but there's no one to count for Matt Hardy Version 1.0! Matt Hardy Version 1.0 misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Running clothesline from Billy Gunn was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Billy Gunn hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Side suplex from Billy. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Matt reverses a waistlock. SUPER frankensteiner on Billy, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Pin, but Billy is out just before the three count. Matt goes for a splash but Billy puts the knees up. Zach Gowan comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Matt turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Gowan! Zach Gowan has left Matt in big trouble. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 can barely stand. One and Only! 1....2....3. Billy Gunn, having taken the victory thanks to the outside interference of Zach Gowan, goes over and shakes hands with him, showing that their plan was a success. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:67 Sable and Vince make out backstage and John Cena comes in to bitch about Nathan Jones attacking him earlier. Vince makes a handicap match between Jones and the FBI tonight. 62 Bill DeMott vs Billy Kidman. Match Background: None. The Match: Bill DeMott hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Bill DeMott scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Bill DeMott turns Kidman inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Weak bodyslam on Kidman by DeMott sets up a legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Kidman reverses a Bill DeMott hammerlock. Spin kick by Billy Kidman to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Super kick by Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. DeMott hits a piledriver on Billy Kidman. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Billy Kidman gets knocked to the ground by DeMott, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Big Shot!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Rey Mysterio comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Bill DeMott is ready though, and strikes first! Bill DeMott slams Rey down. Bill DeMott climbs to the top rope and hits the Big Shot! Rey Mysterio has been left down on the canvas. The attempted ambush has backfired. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:67 Chris Benoit walks backstage and is all of the sudden, Gored through a metal door from Rhyno. Benoit has been taken out of Eddie Guerrero and Rhyno vs Tajiri and Benoit tonight. But who will be the Crippler's replacement. Stay tuned. 80 Nathan Jones vs Palumbo and Stamboli. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Match: Wack kick from Palumbo. Flying shoulder tackle by Stamboli sends Nathan CRASHING to the mat. Palumbo and Stamboli whip Nathan into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Palumbo DDTs Nathan Jones. Pin, but Nathan is out just before the three count. Palumbo and Stamboli whip Nathan into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Palumbo reverses a Nathan Jones hammerlock. BIG clothesline from Nathan. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Chuck Palumbo avoids a Nathan Jones avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Big kick from Palumbo staggers Nathan but that's about it. Palumbo and Stamboli whip Nathan into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Nathan blocks a punch. Nathan Jones knocks Stamboli down to the canvas with a clothesline. Nathan Jones moves in for the kill. Big Kick!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:56 Tajiri and Zach Gowan vs Eddie Guerrero and Rhyno. Match Background: Eddie Guerrero is the reigning WWE United States champion. The Match: Gowan hits a dropkick on Eddie Guerrero. Actually, it barely touched! Zach Gowan hits a shitty missile dropkick on Eddie. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gowan tags out to Tajiri. Tajiri \ Gowan whip Eddie into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Second rope flying axe handle, Eddie goes down. One day, Tajiri might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Tajiri kicks the leg, knocks Eddie down, and goes to work on it. Eddie flips out of a Tajiri bodyslam attempt. Springboard dropkick from Eddie Guerrero. Nicely done. Tag between Eddie Guerrero and Rhyno. Rhyno slams Tajiri down and motions to the crowd. Rhyno hits a bulldog off the ropes. Tajiri powers out of a Rhyno headlock. Tag to Zach Gowan. Zach Gowan hits a shitty missile dropkick on Rhyno. Zach Gowan with an enziguri! HBK isn't moving...uh oh. Oh, sorry, I had a flashback to the last time I got fooled. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Rhyno takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back. A blind charge only gets an even HARDER kick. Rhyno pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Spinebuster by Rhyno. Zach Gowan is in trouble. Gore! 1....2....3. Chris Benoit comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Chris Benoit drops Rhyno to the canvas. Chris Benoit quickly locks on the Crippler Crossface! Rhyno has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: I'm capable of giving out high star ratings...but only for matches that really deserve it. This one didn't. **1/4. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:75 Kurt Angle is drinking some milk backstage when the FBI attack him. They beat him down with Baseball Bats leaving him a bloody mess. Nunzio tells Kurt that was a message from the boss. Nunzio then spills Kurt's milk. THE VILE FIEND. 76 Brock Lesnar vs A-Train and Big Show. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Match: Big Show connects on Brock Lesnar with a flurry in the corner...but no one seems to care. Weak bodyslam on Lesnar by A-Train sets up a legdrop. A-Train \ Show whip Lesnar into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big Show connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pin, but Lesnar is out just before the three count. Big Show scoops up Lesnar. A-Train bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Show blocks a punch. Spear by Brock Lesnar. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Lesnar walks into a drop toe hold. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Show on Lesnar. Big Show scoops up Lesnar. A-Train bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Lesnar reverses a Big Show hammerlock. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. A-Train is in trouble. Here it comes - F5. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:61 Brock is on the ramp when Vince McMahon hits Brock from behind with a chair. Vince picks up Brock and VINCE USES BROCK'S OWN F-5 AGAINST HIM. Vince does the Hogan Posedown over Brock's fallen body. Both the champion and the number one contender have been taken out tonight. Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle at Summerslam. Don't miss it. 84 Overall:71

Haha, sucker. 2K4 is hoss-free and proud of it. Anyways, sounds nice. Does this mean 2001 is dead though? Nope, not dead. Maybe more of it will happen this weekend. WWE Raw 8/4/03: Rob Van Dam vs Rico. Match Background: None. The Match: Rico just WAFFLES RVD with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Rico hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Hard back suplex on RVD. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Rob Van Dam pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Flying elbow from Rob Van Dam connects. RVD crushes Rico with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rico elbows Rob Van Dam in the face to break a hammerlock. Spinning bulldog in the corner and RVD is down! There's a two count on the pin. Tiger suplex on RVD. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pin, but RVD is out just before the three count. Rob Van Dam once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. STIFF high kick on Rico by Rob Van Dam. Rico reverses a Rob Van Dam hammerlock. Hard back suplex on RVD. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Miss Jackie is at ringside! RVD wastes valuable time by yelling at Jackie! Rico takes advantage of the distraction and nails RVD from behind! Rico moves in for the kill. Spinning Kick! 1....2....3. Rob Van Dam fights back, and has soon sent both Rico and Miss Jackie into retreat. My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:74 Match Quality:71 La Resistance drag Spike Dudley into the ring and beat him down slowly. After about 10 minutes of slow beating, La Resistance hit THREE Double Spinebusters on Spike. Someone call the morgue because Little Spike is dead. This is to send a message to the Dudley Boyz. 58 Molly Holly vs Gail Kim. Match Background: This match is for the WWE Womens title. The Match: Kim takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back. A blind charge only gets an even HARDER kick. Molly hits a short arm drag on Kim. Molly hits a dropkick on Gail Kim. Actually, it barely touched! Molly hits a soaring kick on Kim. Molly Holly misses a clothesline. Kim hits a soaring kick on Molly. Back heel kick from Kim on Molly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Molly blocks a punch. Badly executed second rope splash by Molly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flying knee to the face from Molly Holly. For the record it was more of a Rusty Wizard than a Shining one. Pin, but Kim is out just before the three count. Gail Kim reverses a hip toss. Molly takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back. A blind charge only gets an even HARDER kick. Molly Holly is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Molly hits a dropkick on Gail Kim. Actually, it barely touched! Gail Kim grabs Molly Holly from behind and shoves her into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Molly rolls through with the move! She used a pull of the tights to get Kim over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:61 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:59 Goldberg and Triple H have the contract signing. The usual fare and Triple H smashes Goldberg over the head with the clipboard. HHH throws Goldberg onto the table and hits the Pedigree but it doesn't break. Triple H repeats the spot but it still doesn't break. Triple H just gives up and leaves. Goldberg still has to face Randy Orton and Ric Flair in a handicap match still to come on Raw. 85 Val Venis confronts Molly Holly and gives her the key to his hotel room. Molly is shocked and Val said that their isn't a woman in the WWE who wouldn't want to get in bed with him. Before anything else happens, Rodney Mack jumps Val from behind. Rodney Mack with the Blackout on Val Venis. Mack chokes out Val and Theodore Long thugs and bugs onto camera. Molly leaves with Rodney Mack and Theodore Long. Is there a new alliance in the WWE? Tune into Raw to find out...next week that is. Maybe. 64 The Rookie Sensations vs Storm and Christian. Match Background: Cade and Jindrak are teaming up as The Rookie Sensations for the first time tonight. Storm and Christian used to be a regular team, but have been inactive for a while. Whether this match will lead to a reformation as an active unit remains to be seen. The Match: Mark Jindrak charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Jindrak counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Jindrak slams Christian down and motions to the crowd. Tag between Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade. Cade slams Christian down and motions to the crowd. Flying elbow from Garrison Cade connects. Christian avoids a Garrison Cade avalanche by getting out of the damn way! BAAACK Body drop by Cade gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag to Lance Storm. Storm hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Garrison Cade avoids a Lance Storm avalanche by getting out of the damn way! BIG clothesline on Storm. Tag to Mark Jindrak. Mark Jindrak scores with a big spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Bodyslam by Jindrak. Lance Storm is in big trouble...Bearhug/Running Dropkick!! 1....2....3! Christian and Storm remain in the ring. They are arguing about that defeat. Christian walks off without saying anything, much to the disgust of Storm. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:63 Match Quality:66 Test comes out and Scott Steiner comes out. They argue for about 15 Minutes and Steiner turns his back. Test blindsides Steiner and knocks him out with the Big Boot. Stacy attempts to protect Steiner but she gets the big boot as well. JR damns Test's soul to hell. 52 Booker T vs Rodney Mack. Match Background: This match is for the WWE Intercontinental title. The Match: Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Booker T by Mack. Remember when that was a legit finish? Big piledriver on Booker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Booker counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Booker slams Rodney Mack. Flying shoulder tackle by Booker sends Mack CRASHING to the mat. Covers for a quick two count. Booker T scores with a big spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Rodney Mack by Booker. Remember when that was a legit finish? Mack pushes out of a Booker T hold. Big piledriver on Booker. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Rodney Mack connects and Booker T is down! Pin, but Booker is out just before the three count. BAAACK Body drop by Booker gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Mack scoops and slams Booker T. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Booker T reverses a hip toss. Rodney Mack charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Mack! Rodney Mack slugs Booker T, sending him down into the corner. While Mack fires up the crowd, Booker is removing the turnbuckle pad! Rodney Mack comes over...but Booker goes low! Booker T gets up, then goes for the irish whip into the corner, but Mack reverses! Booker T goes head first into them, knocking him silly! Schoolboy from Mack: 1....2....3! The referee never noticed the exposed turnbuckle. Another referee comes running down the aisle, and points out the exposed steel turnbuckle to the assigned official. The referee reverses the decision! He is disqualifying Rodney Mack for using it to gain an advantage! Val Venis comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Val Venis slams Mack down. Val Venis climbs to the top rope and hits the Money Shot! Rodney Mack has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:67 Kevin Nash vs Stevie Richards. Match Background: None. The Match: Kevin Nash punches away at Stevie Richards only to get the tides turned quickly. Kevin Nash punches away at Stevie Richards only to get the tides turned quickly. Stevie takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Weak slam from Nash sets Stevie for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Stevie has no worries. Stevie Richards comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Running knee lift from Stevie Richards. Nice piledriver on Nash. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stevie drops an elbow...but Kevin Nash moves out of the way. Kevin Nash DDTs Stevie in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Stevie Richards's head didn't touch the mat at all. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Nash on Stevie. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Stevie Richards comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Stevie slams Kevin Nash. Nash blocks a kick from Stevie Richards. Kevin Nash hits a BIG clothesline for two! Kevin Nash moves in for the kill. Nashknife Powerbomb!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Chris Jericho comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Kevin Nash is ready though, and strikes first! Kevin Nash spins Jericho around. Kevin Nash hits the Nashknife Powerbomb! Chris Jericho has been left down on the canvas. The attempted ambush has backfired. My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:45 Goldberg vs Ric Flair and Randy Orton. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Goldberg has been feuding with Triple H recently, who is a stable mate of Flair in Evolution. The Match: Goldberg gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Big kick from Flair staggers Goldberg but that's about it. Flair \ Orton hook up Goldberg, then hit a double suplex. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Randy Orton connects and Goldberg is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Randy Orton scoops up Goldberg. Flair bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Randy Orton avoids a Goldberg avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Goldberg hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Randy Orton powers out of a Goldberg headlock. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Goldberg by Orton. Remember when that was a legit finish? Orton \ Flair hook up Goldberg, then hit a double suplex. There's a two count on the pin. Goldberg avoids a Randy Orton avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Goldberg DDTs Ric Flair. Goldberg moves in for the kill. Jackknife!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:53 Goldberg poses on the ramp and Triple H lays out Goldberg with the World Title belt. Goldberg has been busted open and knocked out. Goldberg destroyed Orton and Flair but Triple H always comes out on top against anyone. Goldberg is motionless on the ramp. 88 Overall:66

Heat 8/3/03: Theodore Long and Rodney Mack talk about the main event. Long says that Rodney Mack will destroy that Ultimate White Boy, Val Venis. Playa. 71 Tommy Dreamer vs Rico. Match Background: None. The Match: Rico hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Rico hits a rolling kick on Dreamer. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Covers for a quick two count. Tommy Dreamer reverses a hip toss. BAAACK Body drop by Rico gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Rico is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Fallaway slam by Tommy Dreamer puts down Rico. Rico counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Flying cross body off the top rope! Tommy Dreamer is in trouble. Spinning Kick!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:63 A video highlighting Triple H and then some of Goldberg. It ends with, Goldberg-Triple H at Summerslam Logo. 69 Maven vs Lance Storm. Match Background: None. The Match: Maven hits Storm. Chop from Maven on Storm causing the knock down. Storm receives some punishment by Maven but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. There's a two count on the pin. Storm gets splashed in the corner. There's a two count on the pin. Lance Storm pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Lance Storm kicks the leg, knocks Maven down, and goes to work on it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Lightning kick by Storm on Maven. Maven backdrops Lance Storm out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Maven. Side suplex from Maven. Maven climbs to the top turnbuckle as Lance Storm is stunned. Missile Dropkick!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:69 Stevie Richards cuts an interview in front of a Sunday Night Heat Logo saying that he will be that piece of S.H.I.T Rosey. That match is up next. 78 Stevie Richards vs Rosey. Match Background: None. The Match: Rosey hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Sloppy discus punch from Rosey barely connects on Stevie. Rosey DDTs Stevie Richards. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Stevie takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rosey gets taken down out of nowhere! Flying shoulder tackle by Stevie sends Rosey CRASHING to the mat. Big piledriver on Rosey. Rosey blocks a kick from Stevie Richards. Rosey hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Stevie Richards is in trouble. Here it comes - Super Samoan Drop. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:67 Rodney Mack vs Val Venis. Match Background: None. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Val Venis ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Mack takes a headbutt from Val Venis. Val Venis with a spinning neckbreaker on Mack. Venis slams Rodney Mack down and motions to the crowd. Mack reverses a waistlock. Rodney Mack with a spinning neckbreaker on Venis. Rodney Mack hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Val Venis once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Big piledriver on Mack. Covers for a quick two count. Val Venis scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Mack reverses a waistlock. Mack hits a right hand. Venis reverses a waistlock. Bodyslam by Venis. Theodore Long has climbed up onto the apron! Venis turns...and falls for the distraction! Rodney Mack attacks Venis from behind! Rodney Mack floors Val Venis. Blackout!!! Val Venis taps out! A second referee is here...and is telling the first referee about the run in that happened behind his back. The referee reverses the decision, he is disqualifying Rodney Mack for outside interference! Mack \ Teddy are beating down on Val Venis! The music of Garrison Cade hits, and he comes running down the aisle into the ring. Mack and Teddy bail out of the ring, leaving Val Venis down in the ring. Garrison Cade may have saved Val Venis from a brutal beating. My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:64 Overall:60

8/30/01 Smackdown: The Alliance vs Bradshaw, Faarooq, and Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, D-Von Dudley ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. BAAACK Body drop by Bradshaw gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag to Test. Test strikes Bradshaw with a hard blow. Weak bodyslam by Test. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Test and Bubba Ray Dudley. Test \ Bubba hook up Bradshaw, then hit a double suplex. Bubba slams Bradshaw down and motions to the crowd. Bradshaw powers out of a Bubba Ray Dudley headlock. Bradshaw strikes Bubba Ray Dudley with a hard blow. Bradshaw tags out to Faarooq. Bubba takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Faarooq scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Big kick from Faarooq staggers Bubba but that's about it. Tag to Big Show. Bubba receives some punishment by Big Show but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Running clothesline from Big Show was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Bubba counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Tag to D-Von Dudley. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Big Show by D-Von. Remember when that was a legit finish? Tag between Big Show and Bradshaw. Bradshaw hits D-Von. Powerslam from Bradshaw on D-Von. D-Von Dudley is in trouble. Clothesline From Hell! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:68 Booker T challenges Kurt Angle for a match tonight. 83 Albert vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Albert. Undertaker takes a right hand to the temple from Albert. Hooks the leg for a two count. Undertaker kicks Albert in the gut to reverse the momentum. Undertaker hits a right hand on Albert. Albert hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Albert gets splashed in the corner. Albert avoids a Undertaker avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Powerslam from Albert on Undertaker. Albert whips Undertaker into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Albert slides out and grabs a chair, then gets back in the ring. Chair shot missed! Undertaker ducked it, and now grabs the chair. Albert takes the shot instead! Wait - the referee is back up, and is calling for the bell. He's disqualifying Undertaker for using a chair! Albert ends up with a cheap victory. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:61 Match Quality:47 Steve Austin asks Kurt if he wants to get his medals. What. Austin asks Kurt if he wants to get his medals. 86 Chris Jericho and The Rock vs Rob Van Dam and Rhyno. Match Background: Rob Van Dam is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Rock is the reigning WCW World champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Running knee lift from The Rock. The Rock hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Rock tags out to Chris Jericho. Jericho \ Rock whip RVD into the corner. Chris Jericho whips The Rock in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. A Gut buster connects on RVD and hits hard. Covers for a quick two count. RVD is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Rob Van Dam is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Springboard dropkick from Rob Van Dam. Nicely done. Tag between Rob Van Dam and Rhyno. BIG clothesline on Jericho. Nice piledriver on Jericho. Jericho kicks Rhyno in the gut to reverse the momentum. Jericho tags out to The Rock. Rhyno walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pin, but Rhyno is out just before the three count. Rhyno is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Rhyno reverses a hip toss. Rock walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. The Rock can barely stand. Here it comes - GORE. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:89 Crowd Reaction:91 Match Quality:87 Torrie offers her services to Tajiri and Lance Storm interrupts to challenge Tajiri to a match tonight. 77 Chris Kanyon vs Edge. Match Background: This match is for the WCW United States title. Edge is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. Chris Kanyon has been WCW United States champion since 26 July 2001. The Match: Kanyon scoops and slams Edge. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Edge takes a headbutt from Chris Kanyon. Kanyon drives a thrust kick into the chest of Edge. Big dropkick by Chris Kanyon, who got a ton of air on the move. Edge flips out of a Chris Kanyon bodyslam attempt. Flying shoulder tackle by Edge sends Kanyon CRASHING to the mat. Spear by Edge. Covers for a quick two count. Edge drops an elbow...but Chris Kanyon moves out of the way. Nice piledriver on Edge. Covers for a quick two count. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Edge! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Edge pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Kanyon takes a headbutt from Edge. Kanyon ducks a wild right hand. BAAACK Body drop by Edge gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Christian comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Clothesline...but Kanyon ducks! Edge gets hit! Chris Kanyon knocks Christian out of the ring. Edge can barely stand. Here it comes - I'm Betta Than You. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:91 The Hurricane and Ivory vs Spike Dudley and Molly Holly. Match Background: The Hurricane is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 27 August 2001. The Match: Molly Holly hits a rolling kick on Hurricane. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Hurricane counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Flying elbow from The Hurricane connects. Tag to Ivory. Weak slam from Ivory sets Molly for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Molly has no worries. Weak slam from Ivory sets Molly for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Molly has no worries. Ivory walks into a drop toe hold. Second rope flying axe handle, Ivory goes down. One day, Molly might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Tag to Spike Dudley. Spike strikes away at Ivory, not doing much damage at all. Ivory gets splashed in the corner. Ivory ducks a wild right hand. Ivory hits a BIG clothesline for two! Ivory tags out to The Hurricane. DDT from the top rope by The Hurricane. That looked KILLER! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Second rope flying axe handle, Spike goes down. One day, Hurricane might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. The Hurricane moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Eye of the Hurricane. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Overall:59 Crowd Reaction:48 Match Quality:70 Lance Storm vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: SUPER frankensteiner on Tajiri, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Vicious kick to the teeth from Lance Storm. Tajiri walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Flying elbow from Lance Storm connects. There's a two count on the pin. Tajiri blocks a kick from Lance Storm. Storm takes a flying neckbreaker from Tajiri. Superkick by Tajiri practically knocks out all of Lance Storm's teeth! Storm pushes out of a Tajiri hold. Flying cross body off the top rope! Lance Storm has Tajiri down on the canvas. Canadian Maple Leaf!!! Tajiri taps out! My Opinion: Great match. Most people would give it ****3/4 or more, but I guess I'm a harsh grader. ****1\2 for you. Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:74 Match Quality:100 Booker T vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: T-Bone suplex by Angle, Booker got folded in half to the point that he was almost able to fellate himself. Mighty impressive, don't you think? Flying spear out of the corner! Booker nearly got crushed into little bits! Emerald Fusion by Kurt Angle on Booker! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Angle slams Booker T down and motions to the crowd. Hooks the leg for a two count. Booker blocks a kick from Kurt Angle. Fallaway slam by Booker T puts down Kurt Angle. Full nelson slam on Angle. Angle ducks a wild right hand. Super kick by Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle floors Booker T. Booker T gets locked in the Ankle Lock! Submission victory! My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:93 Match Quality:76 Austin tosses Kurt's gold medals in the river. 89 Overall:76

WWF Raw 8/27/01: Rhyno nearly snaps the Rock in half with the Gore. The Rock vs Rhyno tonight. 86 Albert vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Albert receives some punishment by Undertaker but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Albert takes a right hand to the temple from Undertaker. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Albert receives some punishment by Undertaker but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Albert. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Covers for a quick two count. Albert comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Undertaker hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Covers for a quick two count. Albert hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Undertaker counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Sloppy discus punch from Undertaker barely connects on Albert. Albert is in trouble. Last Ride!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:54 Matt Hardy vs The Hurricane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Hurricane takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Hardy. Lightning kick by Matt on Hurricane. There's a two count on the pin. Hurricane blocks a kick from Matt Hardy. Hurricane just WAFFLES Matt with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! The Hurricane hits a rolling kick on Matt. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. There's a two count on the pin. SHINING WIZARD~! on Matt by Hurricane! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Second rope flying axe handle, Matt goes down. One day, Hurricane might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Matt Hardy elbows The Hurricane in the face to break a hammerlock. Lightning kick by Matt on Hurricane. Covers for a quick two count. Power drive elbow by Matt Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Second rope flying axe handle, Hurricane goes down. One day, Matt might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Matt hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. The Hurricane avoids a Matt Hardy avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Hard back suplex on Matt. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. DDT from the top rope by The Hurricane. That looked KILLER! Ivory comes running down the aisle with a chair! Hurricane and Matt Hardy continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Ivory slides in and blasts Matt Hardy with a chair to the head! Ivory climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Matt Hardy can barely stand. Eye of the Hurricane!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:81 Kurt Angle breaks Raven's ankle backstage. 82 Hugh Morrus challenges Edge to put the Interconinental Title on the line tonight. 66 Bradshaw vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: A weak headbutt on Bradshaw by Test causes nothing but pain for both. Bradshaw fights out of a grapple. Bradshaw strikes Test. Bradshaw whips Test into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Bradshaw turns Test inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Test ducks a wild right hand. Bradshaw takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Test hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. There's a two count on the pin. Test scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Bradshaw pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Powerslam from Bradshaw on Test. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Bradshaw goes for a splash but Test puts the knees up. Shane McMahon has climbed up onto the apron! Bradshaw turns...and falls for the distraction! Test attacks Bradshaw from behind! Bradshaw can barely stand. Here it comes - Big Boot. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:74 The Rock vs Rhyno. Match Background: This match is for the WCW World title. The Rock has been WCW World champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Spear by The Rock. Spear! Rhyno is down! Brutal sit out powerbomb on Rhyno! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! BIG clothesline on Rhyno. Hooks the leg for a two count. The Rock misses a clothesline. Flying shoulder tackle by Rhyno sends Rock CRASHING to the mat. Spear by Rhyno. Rhyno misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Spear by The Rock. The Rock moves in for the kill. Rock Bottom! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. *** Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:96 Match Quality:77 Edge vs Hugh Morrus. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Edge has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Hugh Morrus strikes Edge. Edge hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Big kick from Morrus staggers Edge but that's about it. Running clothesline from Hugh Morrus was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Edge backdrops Hugh Morrus out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Edge. Hugh Morrus charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Nice piledriver on Morrus. Hooks the leg for a two count. Morrus counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Weak bodyslam by Morrus. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Morrus on Edge. Pin, but Edge is out just before the three count. Edge counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Edge connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Morrus reverses a waistlock. Hugh Morrus strikes Edge with a hard blow. Edge gets knocked to the ground by Morrus, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - No Laughing Matter hit hard. Christian slides into the ring out of nowhere! Morrus takes a stiff punch to the face and falls to the canvas. The referee calls for the DQ as Christian continues to attack Morrus. My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you? Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:70 Booker T vs Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Big Show hits a right hand on Booker T and follows it up with a couple more. Show slams Booker T down. Booker is sure in trouble now. There's a two count on the pin. Booker reverses a Big Show hammerlock. Flying shoulder tackle by Booker sends Show CRASHING to the mat. Covers for a quick two count. Spinebuster by Booker T. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show pushes out of a Booker T hold. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Booker T comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Powerbomb on Show. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Booker T hits a bulldog off the ropes. Pin, but Show is out just before the three count. Show counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Booker T gets whipped into the corner by Show, who charges in with a clothesline. Booker grabs the referee and pulls him in the way! The referee calls for the DQ as he collapses to the mat in pain. Booker T gets out of the ring and walks off, having taken the cheap way out. My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:59 Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle vs Rob Van Dam and Tazz. Match Background: Rob Van Dam is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Tazz just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Angle. A Gut buster connects on Tazz and hits hard. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho. Angle \ Jericho hook up Tazz, then hit a double suplex. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jericho hits a dropkick on Tazz and gets right back up. Tazz ducks a wild right hand. Massive back suplex! Chris Jericho got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Tazz and Rob Van Dam. SUPER frankensteiner on Jericho, who hit hard. Pin, but Jericho is out just before the three count. RVD uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Jericho backdrops Rob Van Dam out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Chris Jericho. Second rope flying axe handle, RVD goes down. One day, Jericho might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Jericho tags out to Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Angle. Tag to Tazz. Angle drives a thrust kick into the chest of Tazz. Kurt Angle has Tazz down on the canvas. Ankle Lock!!! Tazz taps out! Steve Austin comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Angle turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Steve Austin has left Angle down and bloodied. My Opinion: The psychology was sound, the work was crisp, but a few awkward moments drag it down to about ****1\2. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:96 Overall:77

WWF Heat 8/26/01: William Regal and Tajiri are your special guest hosts on Heat. 78 Albert vs Hugh Morrus. Match Background: None. The Match: Albert hits Morrus. Albert strikes Hugh Morrus. Morrus receives some punishment by Albert but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Hooks the leg for a two count. Weak bodyslam on Morrus by Albert sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Albert goes for a splash but Morrus puts the knees up. Uninspired brawling from Hugh Morrus. There's a two count on the pin. Morrus hits a piledriver on Albert. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Morrus drops an elbow...but Albert moves out of the way. Flapjack from Albert on Morrus. Hugh Morrus can barely stand. Baldo Bomb! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:67 O'Haire and Palumbo vs Holly Cousins. Match Background: None. The Match: Hardcore Holly hits a right hand on Sean O'Haire. O'Haire counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Flying shoulder tackle by O'Haire sends Hardcore CRASHING to the mat. Tag to Chuck Palumbo. Running knee lift from Chuck Palumbo. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Hardcore Holly by Palumbo. Remember when that was a legit finish? Hardcore counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Palumbo gets splashed in the corner. Tag between Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly. Crash Holly strikes Palumbo. BIG clothesline on Palumbo. Palumbo blocks a punch. BAAACK Body drop by Crash gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag between Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire. Power drive elbow by Sean O'Haire. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Crash takes a flying neckbreaker from Sean O'Haire. Crash Holly gets knocked to the ground by O'Haire, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Seanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:61 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:53 Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Spike Dudley. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Spike. A weak headbutt on Chavo by Spike causes nothing but pain for both. Spike Dudley strikes Chavo Guerrero Jr.. Hooks the leg for a two count. Running clothesline from Spike Dudley was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Chavo hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard reverse elbow by Chavo Guerrero Jr.. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Spike ducks a wild right hand. Spike Dudley scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Spike Dudley drives Chavo Guerrero Jr. into the corner. Dudley Dogg, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:66 Lance Storm vs Scotty 2 Hotty. Match Background: None. The Match: Flying reverse elbow by Lance Storm. Power drive elbow by Lance Storm. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Power drive elbow by Lance Storm. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Second rope flying axe handle, Scotty goes down. One day, Storm might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Scotty 2 Hotty avoids a Lance Storm avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Scotty hits a dropkick on Lance Storm and gets right back up. SUPER frankensteiner on Storm, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Storm counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Lightning kick by Storm on Scotty. Scotty 2 Hotty gets knocked to the ground by Storm. Scotty 2 Hotty gets locked in the Canadian Maple Leaf! Submission victory! My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:78 Triple H clips from Excess. 76 Tajiri and William Regal interview. Mostly Regal. Regal says that Kurt Angle will beat Austin soon enough and a major blow was struck against the Alliance when Rock won the WCW World Title Last week. 76 Overall:66

WWF Smackdown 8/23/01: Jeff Hardy vs Raven vs Rob Van Dam. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rob Van Dam has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Raven slams Rob Van Dam. Raven hits a right hand. Rob Van Dam is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Rob Van Dam dropkicks Raven after leaping off an upturned shopping cart! Flying reverse elbow by Jeff Hardy. Pin, but RVD is out just before the three count. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Jeff Hardy by Raven. Remember when that was a legit finish? Jeff pushes out of a Raven hold. RVD \ Jeff whip Raven into the corner. Rob Van Dam whips Jeff Hardy in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Back heel kick off the second rope, Raven goes down. Jeff Hardy hits an irish whip into a shopping cart! RVD blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Implant DDT by Rob Van Dam! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Raven gets knocked to the ground by RVD, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Five Star Frog Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:78 Steve Austin vs Chris Jericho will go at it...TONIGHT. 85 The Show Gunns vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Big Show by D-Von. Remember when that was a legit finish? Big Show fights out of a grapple. D-Von takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Tag between Big Show and Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on D-Von. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Billy Gunn hits a right hand on D-Von Dudley. Billy Gunn misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Bubba Ray Dudley ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Flying shoulder tackle by Bubba sends Billy CRASHING to the mat. Billy Gunn fights out of a grapple. Billy Gunn strikes Bubba Ray Dudley with a hard blow. Tag between Billy Gunn and Big Show. Big Show scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but Bubba is out just before the three count. Show slams Bubba Ray Dudley down. Bubba is sure in trouble now. Bubba Ray Dudley is in trouble. Final Cut!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'm capable of giving out high star ratings...but only for matches that really deserve it. This one didn't. **1/4. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:75 William Regal informs Edge and Christian that they will get a WWF Tag Team Title Shot tonight against the Brothers of Destruction. 73 Chris Kanyon vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: Chris Kanyon is the reigning WCW United States champion, and has been since 26 July 2001. The Match: Kanyon walks into a killer lariat, as opposed to a friendly lariat. Emerald Fusion by Kurt Angle on Kanyon! BACKDROP DRIVAH~! and Kanyon lands HARD! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Kanyon tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kanyon powers out of a headlock. Bodyslam by Kanyon. Doctor Bomb connects and Angle landed hard. Angle counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Gutwrench into a stomach breaker. Kanyon may be winded. Kurt Angle floors Chris Kanyon. Ankle Lock!!! Chris Kanyon taps out! My Opinion: They definitely need to hook up again, I don't care what anyone says. ***1\2 Overall:85 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:86 The Rock, Bradshaw, and Faarooq vs The Alliance. Match Background: The Rock is the reigning WCW World champion, and has been since 19 August 2001. The Match: Booker slams Faarooq. Booker slams Faarooq down and motions to the crowd. Tag to Rhyno. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Faarooq by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? Rhyno hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Test. Rhyno \ Test whip Faarooq into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Weak bodyslam on Faarooq by Test sets up a legdrop. Faarooq counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Faarooq with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Test. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Test takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Sloppy discus punch from Bradshaw barely connects on Test. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Running clothesline from Bradshaw was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Tag between Bradshaw and The Rock. Test is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. The Rock with a spinning neckbreaker on Test. Test counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Tag to Booker T. BAAACK Body drop by Rock gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag to Faarooq. Booker receives some punishment by Faarooq but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Faarooq misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Faarooq can barely stand. Book End! 1....2....3. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:71 X-Pac brags about holding both the WCW Cruiserweight and WWF Lightheavyweight Titles. X-Pac challenges anyone anytime. 67 Edge and Christian vs Brothers Of Destruction. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Brothers Of Destruction are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Brothers Of Destruction have been WWF Tag Team champions since 19 August 2001. The Match: Undertaker walks into a high dropkick from Christian, almost losing several teeth in the process. Christian hits a rolling kick on Undertaker. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Undertaker strikes Christian. Powerslam from Undertaker on Christian. Tag between Undertaker and Kane. BIG clothesline on Christian. Kane misses a clothesline. Tag to Edge. Edge and Christian hook up Kane, then hit a double suplex. Edge drives a thrust kick into the chest of Kane. Covers for a quick two count. Edge hits a piledriver on Kane. That used to end matches, you know. Edge tags out to Christian. Kane walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Pin, but Kane is out just before the three count. Christian charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Tag between Kane and Undertaker. Undertaker strikes Christian with a hard blow. Christian is in big trouble...Double Choke Slam!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:88 Ivory vs Lita. Match Background: None. The Match: Ivory connects with some weak punches on Lita. Lita backdrops Ivory out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Lita. Lita hits a weak kick to the midsection, doubling the opponent over. Ivory charges, Lita moves, and the referee is knocked silly! Lita face jams Ivory. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Ivory counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Ivory hits a BIG clothesline for two! Powerslam from Ivory on Lita. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Ivory on Lita. Pin, but Lita is out just before the three count. Ivory gets taken down out of nowhere! Flying elbow off the top rope by Lita, but there was NO elevation off the leap. Pin, but Ivory is out just before the three count. Ivory counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Hurricane Helms comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Lita turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Helms! Hurricane Helms has left Lita in big trouble. Lita can barely stand. Here it comes - Poison Ivory. 1....2...3, it's finished. Ivory and Helms are beating the hell out of Lita! Matt Hardy sprints down the aisle and slides into the ring! He goes toe-to-toe with Ivory, exchanging punches, while Lita comes back, sending Helms out of the ring with a clothesline. Matt \ Lita have cleared the ring, driving off Ivory and Helms! My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:44 Raven vows to beat Rob Van Dam for the Hardcore Title. Rob Van Dam dares him to try. 75 Chris Jericho vs Steve Austin. Match Background: Steve Austin is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. The Match: Jericho gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Stone Cold hits a right hand. Jericho takes a headbutt from Steve Austin. Covers for a quick two count. Steve Austin with a spinning neckbreaker on Jericho. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chris Jericho comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Chris Jericho gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Jericho. Hooks the leg for a two count. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Stone Cold is down! Stone Cold reverses a Chris Jericho hammerlock. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Chris Jericho hooks up a suplex, but it is blocked. Stone Cold scores with a low blow, then turns it into a small package! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Chris Jericho got screwed out of the victory! My Opinion: A ****1\2 rating for a great match. Keep on trucking...you'll get there. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:87 Match Quality:96 Overall:75

WWF Raw 8/20/01: Ivory, Torrie Wilson, and Stacy Keibler vs Jacqueline, Lita, and Molly Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: Ivory hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Jacqueline is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Ivory hits a BIG clothesline for two! Tag between Ivory and Stacy Keibler. Stacy Keibler attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. This kid sure ain't Rey Jr. Back heel kick from Stacy on Jacquie. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stacy tags out to Torrie Wilson. Stacy \ Torrie whip Jacquie into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Torrie Wilson strikes Jacqueline. Jacquie counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Boring brawling from Jacqueline is the cure for insomnia. Jacquie tags out to Lita. Lita hits a dropkick on Torrie Wilson. Lita with an enziguri. Pin, but Torrie is out just before the three count. Torrie takes a second rope chop from Lita. I haven't seen one of those in years. Tag between Lita and Molly Holly. Molly just WAFFLES Torrie with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Hard back suplex on Torrie. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Torrie pushes out of a Molly Holly hold. Tag to Ivory. Boring brawling from Ivory is the cure for insomnia. Molly tags out to Jacqueline. Ivory takes a weak kick. Messed up bodyslam by Jacquie almost kills Ivory. Ivory can barely stand. Powerslam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:42 Stephanie recruits Test to help take out Chris Jericho tonight. 79 Team Bradshaw vs Team Dreamer. Match Background: Team Bradshaw consists of Bradshaw, Billy Gunn, Faarooq, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Big Show. Team Dreamer consists of Tommy Dreamer, Chuck Palumbo, Sean O'Haire, Bubba Ray Dudley, and D-Von Dudley. The Match: Scotty is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Running knee lift from Chuck Palumbo. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba scoops and slams Scotty 2 Hotty. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Scotty tags out to Faarooq. STIFF~! chop lights up Faarooq who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Tag to Sean O'Haire. Bubba \ O'Haire hook up Faarooq, then hit a double suplex. Tag to D-Von Dudley. D-Von hits a right hand. BAAACK Body drop by Faarooq gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between D-Von Dudley and Sean O'Haire. O'Haire \ D-Von hook up Faarooq, then hit a double suplex. Massive backbreaker on Faarooq and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Sean O'Haire and Tommy Dreamer. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Faarooq by Dreamer. Remember when that was a legit finish? Big piledriver on Faarooq. Tag between Tommy Dreamer and Chuck Palumbo. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Faarooq counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Faarooq tags out to Big Show. Palumbo takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Big clothesline from Show. There's a two count on the pin. Show tags out to Billy Gunn. The Show Gunns whip Palumbo into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Flapjack from Billy on Bubba. Pin, but Bubba is out just before the three count. Bubba ducks a wild right hand. BAAACK Body drop by Billy gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer hits a piledriver on Billy Gunn. That used to end matches, you know. Tommy Dreamer misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag between Billy Gunn and Bradshaw. Tommy Dreamer takes a right hand to the temple from Bradshaw. Bradshaw hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Flapjack from Bradshaw on Dreamer. Tag to Big Show. Bradshaw scoops up Dreamer. Show bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big Show scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Big Show moves in for the kill. Final Cut!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:70 Chris Jericho vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: A weak headbutt on Jericho by Test causes nothing but pain for both. Test with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Jericho. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Covers for a quick two count. Chris Jericho is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Test takes a flying neckbreaker from Chris Jericho. Test walks into a high dropkick from Chris Jericho, almost losing several teeth in the process. Jericho uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Test pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Big clothesline from Test. Stephanie McMahon is at ringside! Jericho wastes valuable time by yelling at Steph! Test takes advantage of the distraction and nails Jericho from behind! Chris Jericho is in trouble. Big Boot!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'm capable of giving out high star ratings...but only for matches that really deserve it. This one didn't. **1/4. Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:72 The Rock vs Lance Storm. Match Background: This match is for the WCW World title. The Rock has been WCW World champion since 19 August 2001. The Match: Big piledriver on Storm. Death valley driver by The Rock! No one executes that move properly anymore. Death valley driver by The Rock! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Fallaway slam by The Rock puts down Lance Storm. Hooks the leg for a two count. Lance Storm fights out of a grapple. Second rope flying axe handle, Rock goes down. One day, Storm might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Flying reverse elbow by Lance Storm. The Rock comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Big piledriver on Storm. Lance Storm can barely stand. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:72 Christian vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Matt Hardy strikes Christian. Matt drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Christian. Spinning back kick from Matt Hardy. Covers for a quick two count. Christian takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Hardy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Christian powers out of a headlock. Christian kicks the leg, knocks Matt down, and goes to work on it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Christian crushes Matt with a running senton. Matt Hardy once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Power drive elbow by Matt Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Matt Hardy moves in for the kill. Twist Of Fate!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Christian goes nuts, screaming and yelling at everyone within earshot. My Opinion: A ****1\2 rating for a great match. Keep on trucking...you'll get there. Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:100 William Regal makes Booker T vs Tajiri. 73 Booker T vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: Tajiri connects with a back heel kick on Booker and gets back up quickly. Flying elbow from Tajiri connects. Covers for a quick two count. Booker counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Running knee lift from Booker T. There's a two count on the pin. Big piledriver on Tajiri. Covers for a quick two count. Tajiri fights out of a grapple. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by Tajiri. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Tajiri misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Booker T just KILLS Tajiri! Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Big piledriver on Tajiri. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Tajiri once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Booker T slides out and grabs a chair! Tajiri goes to climb out of the ring...and takes a chair to the head! The referee has no hesitation in calling for the bell! Disqualification. My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:82 Diamond Dallas Page vs Sara Calloway. Match Background: None. The Match: Some pretty weak shots by Sara. DDP counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Uninspired brawling from Diamond Dallas Page. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Diamond Dallas Page scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Cover, but there's no one to count for Diamond Dallas Page! Sara pushes out of a Diamond Dallas Page hold. DDP takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Messed up bodyslam by Sara almost kills DDP. There's a two count on the pin. Sara Calloway connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Sara walks into a drop toe hold. DDP hits a piledriver on Sara Calloway. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Sara reverses a Diamond Dallas Page hammerlock. Undertaker comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Diamond Dallas Page turns around. Undertaker spins DDP around. Undertaker hits the Last Ride! Undertaker leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Sara Calloway pins DDP. My Opinion: That was just BRUTAL to watch. -** Overall:42 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:37 Austin Apperciation night. However Kurt Angle comes to the ring and douses the Alliance with a milk bath. 81 Overall:74