Ed Wood Caulfield

I think we all know what the theme song for this year's AngleSlam should be. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBa0jo8he7c COME ON! This song TOTALLY deserves an OAOAST remake!

Place this towards the middle of the show, please. kthxbye (Cut to Double C at Sofa Central.) COLE Fans, last week at the Big Apple Spectacular, we saw the end of the career of-- COACH --the career of the greatest superstar never to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Vitamin X suffered a great indignity last week, being retired at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Coach, Vitamin X DID make the stipulations himself. COACH So? He still suffered a great indignity! He still did! STILL did! It was a horrible tragedy what occurred last week. The One And Only AngleSault Thread just lost one of its best! The OAOAST will never be the same without the presence of Vitamin X! COLE Yeah, you’re right. It’s gotten even better! COACH Hush, white boy! You know what? I can’t stand it any longer! I can’t stay quiet while injustice after injustice takes place in front of my own two eyes! I gotta speak up! I gotta stand up for what I believe in! I gotta speak my mind! And I’m gonna do it, right here! Right now! COLE What? COACH I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna say what’s on my mind LIVE in front of all of these people! I’m gonna do it right this second! COLE Coach…what are you doing? COACH I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. Coach puts down his headset on top of the announce table. He stands up out of his seat while Michael Cole looks on, confused. COLE Coach… Coach grabs the microphone closest to him on the announce table. COACH Excuse me, excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Now, ever since AngleMania VII, we have been FORCED to endure, night after night, Tha Puerto Rican holding the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship like he’s the only man on the planet capable of doing so! Well I say that’s BULLSH(Bleep)! Because there WAS someone else on this planet capable of holding that Title, and his name was Vitamin X! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Coach ignores the boos. COACH Unfortunately, Vitamin X will never be able to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion because last week in Central Park on the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X had his career ended by Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Coach sneers at the fans. COLE Oh, Coach… COACH Not now, Michael! Now, in honor of this tragic event, I ask all of you to please bow your heads for a moment of silence in memoriam (“BOOOOOOOOO!”) to the best professional wrestler never to wear the 10 pounds of gold. Better than “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, better than Dynamite Kid, better than Buff Bagwell. (“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!“) There was only one X-Man, and his name was Vitamin X! Everybody bow your heads now! DO IT! DO IT NOW! DON’T MAKE ME ASK YOU AGAIN! COLE Coach, come on. Coach looks around the arena. COACH BOW YOUR HEADS DAMNIT! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS! The boos get louder. Coach bows his head and takes a moment of silence. All of the fans in attendance refuse to follow suit and instead honor Vitamin X by booing as loud as they can. Michael Cole just sits in his seat and shakes his head. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* Coach becomes agitated by the chant. COACH DAMNIT! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION! DO AS I SAY! BOW YOUR HEADS NOW! Coach goes back to bowing his head for his moment of silence. The crowd goes back to booing loudly. Cole goes back to doing this: [IMG=http://www.terminally-incoherent.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/facepalm.jpg] But Coach ignores Cole’s face palm to continue his one-man moment of silence for someone the audience clearly despises. Until… “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” [i]*DUN DUN*[/i] “…IS…” [i]*DUN*[/i] “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He is interrupted by “Know Your Role 2000”! A lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and the crowd explodes with cheers. Coach stops his moment of silence and looks up in fear. COLE Uh-oh. Coach, it looks like someone didn’t want to have a moment of silence for Vitamin X! The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all. The crowd cheers louder than before. COLE That ain’t no mirage! The Champ truly IS HERE! Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, in addition to sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt with a black tie, a black sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. PRL is carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as he walks down the entrance ramp. Coach just stands in place, frozen in fear. COLE We don’t have P.R. scheduled for a match here tonight, so it looks like he is making his way over here, Coach! COACH … Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans. He then power walks around the ringside area. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a microphone from the timekeeper’s table and then walks on over to Sofa Central. COLE He IS coming this way after all! PRL stops at Sofa Central. He looks directly at Coach. Coach starts sweating bullets, as he makes eye contact with Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he measures up Jonathan Coachman. Michael Cole just sits and watches all of this, trying to hide his smile. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Cut it. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL continues staring at Coach. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican “smells the electricity”. He then goes back to staring at Coach. THA PUERTO RICAN So, it seems like someone on the OAOAST announce team has a little grudge against me! A little bias against me! And it was apparently made worst by me retiring Vitamin X’s roody poo-- CROWD --CANDY ASS! THA PUERTO RICAN --last Thursday night on the Big Apple Spectacular! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Now, see, P.R., P.R., P.R…you…you…you--you did a bad thing last Thursday. A very bad thing! Vitamin X wasn’t even in his prime yet! And yet, last Thursday, YOU ended his career! YOU retired him! YOU made him the laughingstock of the OAOAST! YOU did it! YOU! YOU! YOU! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican does The People’s Eyebrow. THA PUERTO RICAN Um Coach, Vitamin X made the match himself! That was all his doing! HE made the match for the Title, HE made the match a Steel Cage Match, and HE put his OWN career on the line! If anyone is to be blamed for Vitamin X no longer being a wrestler in this company…well, I’d have to put the blame solely on Vitamin X! Vitamin X is the reason Vitamin X is the laughingstock of the OAOAST! COACH But couldn’t you have like…lie down for him or something? THA PUERTO RICAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Coach, in case you haven’t gotten the message yet: Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t lay down for NOBODY! ESPECIALLY former coattail-riders-turn-ungrateful sumbitches! The crowd cheers loudly. Another “P.R.!” chant breaks out. PRL “smells the electricity” again. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN Coach, what happened? You and I, we used to be tight, yo! What happened, man? You flaked out on me! That’s cold, dude. Cold-blooded! COACH I’ll tell you what happened, Puerto. You became soft! You became weak minded. Instead of listening to yourself, you listened to these people, your so-called ’Lightning Bolts’! Every action you take is based on what these people want! WHO GIVES A DAMN WHAT THESE PEOPLE WANT!? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH The REAL PRL wouldn’t give a damn! The REAL PRL would lay the smackdown on anybody that got in his way with a smile on his face! The REAL PRL would run an old lady over and then throw paint on a five-year-old! The REAL PRL would spit on The Mad Cappa before he would ever shake his hand! He would spit on Colombian Heat too, while we’re at it! The REAL PRL would lead his Lightning Crew to the Promised Land, all the while raking in title belts and ruling as World Heavyweight Champion in peace! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican thinks about what Coach just said. He puts his right hand on his chin to signify that he is thinking about what Coach just said. PRL has a serious look on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Hmmm…nope…that’s not what the REAL PRL would do! The crowd cheers! THA PUERTO RICAN The REAL PRL, as you like to say Coach, gives a damn about his fans! The REAL PRL thinks about others before he does stuff! The REAL PRL respects The Mad Cappa and thinks Colombian Heat is the best friend a guy could ever have! And the REAL PRL doesn’t need a bunch of no talent, brainless, easily led ass kissers following him every step he takes! Oh, and Coach, The REAL PRL DOES lay the smackdown on anybody that gets in my way with a smile on his face and incase you have forgotten, I am a 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion, former X-Division Champion, former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion, former North American Champion, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, and oh yeah… Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his left hand. The crowd cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN ...THE REIGNING ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL So, as you can clearly see, I am doing quite well for myself. This IS the REAL PRL you are seeing! That PRL you were watching since I came into this company wasn’t really me! I thought it was, but it wasn’t. But now, I know for sure, that this is the REAL PRL! And the REAL PRL couldn’t be any happier than he is right now! COACH Oh cut the crap, P.R.! You are so weak, I bet that *I* could beat you in a match! THA PUERTO RICAN Then…why don’t you try to? The crowd cheers. Coach is shocked. COACH W--wh--what? THA PUERTO RICAN You say that you could beat me…so why not try to? The crowd cheers again. THA PUERTO RICAN It sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match! And it sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match RIGHT HERE IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA! (CHEAP POP~!) COACH WHAT!? No! No! It’s--well--I don’t have my gear with me! I’m in a shirt and khakis! THA PUERTO RICAN Just fight with that then. It’s not like you have anything worth showing off, you jabroni! COACH But--tonight--here? Live!? On HELDDOWN~!? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes, Coach. You catch on pretty quick! Coach, you have been riding my back ever since The Lightning Crew turned on me, and it has gotten on my last nerve! 9 months of annoyance ends tonight! Tonight, I would love to have the opportunity to stick my size 10 boot right up your bald headed candy ass! So, what do you say? COACH I--uh--err--umm---err--YOU’RE ON! Coach immediately mouths, “What the hell did I just say!?” to Michael Cole, who just shakes his head and tries to hold back his laughter. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has a satisfied grin on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Then it’s settled. See you later in the ring, Coach. Oh and by the way: watch out for the lightning strikes, because you, Coach, are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone onto the ground and stares at Coach. The crowd cheers. Coach looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL mouths, “You. Me. Tonight.” and then does a cutthroat hand gesture. PRL points a menacing finger at Coach, and then raises his right fist into the air to a loud pop from the crowd. PRL walks back up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE Well, Coach…you brought this onto yourself. COACH Tonight? Tonight? I--I’m--I’m wrestling…tonight!? Here!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? COLE Yes. Yes, you are, Coach. Tha Puerto Rican vs. Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman coming up later tonight here on HeldDOWN~! COACH T--tonight!? Tonight!? Really!? Tonight!? COLE Yes, Coach. You asked for it, and you got it! COACH I DIDN’T ASK FOR NOTHING! PRL TRICKED ME! HE TRICKED ME! I KNOW THAT HE DID! HE USED SOME JEDI MIND TRICK! I KNOW THAT HE DID! I KNOW IT! OH GOD! I’M GONNA WRESTLE TONIGHT! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I’M GONNA DIE! OH GOD! COLE While Coach cries over his inevitable death, we’ll take a break. Fans, stay with us, we’ll be right back right after this! Coach is a blubbery mess right now, crying his eyes out knowing the fate that awaits him later tonight. Michael Cole tries, unsuccessfully, to comfort Coach. Tha Puerto Rican has already left through the entrance doors, but “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Cole comforting Coach is the last image we see before we head to a commercial break. [b]FADE OUT[/b] [b]COMMERCIALS[/b]

-PRL promo -PRL segment -A PRL match!!!

Ah okay then. I remember watching the February 1990 edition of The Main Event that featured Hulk Hogan taking on "Macho Man" Randy Savage for the WWF Championship with Buster Douglas as the Special Guest Referee on videotape when I was a kid. I guess my parents must have taped it off of the TV then.

Just to let you know, I added in a brief segment prior to the Vitamin X/PRL Steel Cage Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship with Vitamin X's career on the line just to let you know exactly *WHY* Vitamin X would put his own career on the line in a match against Tha Puerto Rican inside of a steel cage. The explanation makes alot of sense. Really. Trust me.

Were any of the Saturday Night's Main Events/The Main Events released commercially on videotape?

I've been wanting Heat to lose the U.S. Title since January, honestly. I've just never got around to doing it because, like I said, I'm always late with Tha Puerto Rican's stuff. But he was only supposed to hold it until the beginning of the new year, then drop it to someone else. Luckily, I just so happen to have a person in mind to drop the Title to, so maybe hold off on merging the Titles for a short while.

OAOAST Television Championship? We've reused the United States Championship name, might as well do it again. We did try to limit the number of titles, but even then, Colombian Heat hasn't defended the United States Championship since AngleMania VII. BUT...that's mostly because I'm late with PRL's stuff as it is. I can't imagine writing for another character right now. I say, if Dr. Zoidberg can defend his title regulary, we should go ahead and add the belt to the OAOAST.

I was kinda hoping it was a mistake. Oh well, looks like I've gotta make a little change of plans...and there we go. Now I've got a match for tonight's show.

TITLE VS. CAREER: STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Tha Puerto Rican (Champion) vs. Vitamin X (Challenger with Princess Stacey) STIPULATION: If Vitamin X loses, he must retire from the sport of professional wrestling FOREVER.

-PRL promo -Match. Main event if possible.

I had a dream last week where I interviewed The Clique about their careers. They all looked like they did back in 1996, except for Kevin Nash, who looked like he did back in 2002. They were all wearing nWo shirts, and I believe Scott Hall was in his wrestling attire, which is weird because the interview took place at a high school for some reason. I had a tape recorder and recorded everything that they said. I know that I've had alot more, but that's the most recent one that I remember. Oh! I just remembered! I once slept for 18 hours back in 2003 for some reason, and in that time I had TWO wrestling related dreams: one was Jushin "Thunder" Lyger starring in a Godzilla-like Japanese movie with its own theme song, and the other was Booker T cutting a promo with Shane McMahon which then transformed into a SIX HOUR dance remix of his theme song with Booker yelling "SUCKAAAAAAAA!" at random intervals. The music video was just weird colors swirling around a black screen forming shapes. There were lasers too. To this day I have no idea what the point of that dream was.

Place this in the middle of the show. There *should* be a PRL promo placed right after this, if I ever get it done. Anyway, here it is. Finally. COLE Fans, 2 weeks ago at The Great Angle Bash, we saw an INCREDIBLE match take place between Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship was on the line in a No Holds Barred Match! SO much action happened in this match, that we felt like we had no choice but to show it to you again in its entirety TONIGHT on HeldDOWN~! It is so nice, we have to show it to you twice! COACH That, and we needed to kill some time anyway. COLE Shush! Anyway fans, this match is a highlight of The Great Angle Bash 2008 and will be talked about for years to come. Some say this match has solidified Tha Puerto Rican as a legitimate World Heavyweight Champion and is one of the best matches of his entire career. Do you think so? Well, see for yourself! So, here it is, ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado, the complete, uncut and unedited No Holds Barred Match between Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship from One And Only AngleSault Thread The Great Angle Bash 2008 back on Sunday June 29, 2008! We hope you enjoy it! COACH Word. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. [b]OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008[/b] [b]Sunday June 29, 2008[/b] [b]Target Center[/b] [b]Minneapolis, Minnesota[/b] A single drumbeat plays. The crowd is confused by this. Then a guitar riff that is familiar to some of the fans is heard all over the arena. “I AM IRON MAN!” The fans are confused, as nobody on the roster has this for a theme song. As “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath begins playing, the fans are still wondering just who this theme song belongs to. Strobe lights cover the entrance set, while smoke fills the entrance stage. The fans continue wondering who is coming out. But the wondering ends as soon as Cuban Wall steps out onto the entrance stage through the smoke. The crowd starts booing loudly. Wall has a cocky smile on his face as he looks at the fans, highly unusual for him. Wall pumps his right fist into the air, and then proceeds to walk across the entrance ramp, his eyes looking all around the arena, with a cocky smirk on his face. [i]*Has he lost his mind[/i] [i]Can he see or is he blind[/i] [i]Can he walk at all[/i] [i]Or if he moves will he fall[/i] [i]Is he alive or dead[/i] [i]Has he thoughts within his head[/i] [i]We'll just pass him there[/i] [i]Why should we even care[/i] [i]He was turned to steel[/i] [i]In the great magnetic field[/i] [i]When he traveled time[/i] [i]For the future of mankind[/i] [i]Nobody wants him[/i] [i]He just stares at the world[/i] [i]Planning his vengeance[/i] [i]That he will soon unfurl*[/i] Cuban Wall is wearing a white Lightning Crew T-shirt for the first time in almost a year, in addition to his old black vest with a Cuban flag on the back, and “LIGHTNING CREW” written on the top in big white blocky letters, and “4-LIFE” written on the bottom of the vest in big white blocky letters. He is also, as usual, wearing a Cuban flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, gold chains around his neck, blue elbow pads, black wrist tape, black fingerless gloves, an earring in his right ear, long blue tights with “CUBA” written across the right leg in big white blocky letters, and red wrestling boots. His head is still shaved and he still has a black goatee too. COLE Cuban Wall is about to compete in the first OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match of his entire career! COACH It’s about damn time! Cuban Wall chuckles as he continues his walk to the ring. [i]*Now the time is here[/i] [i]For Iron Man to spread fear[/i] [i]Vengeance from the grave[/i] [i]Kills the people he once saved[/i] [i]Nobody wants him[/i] [i]They just turn their heads[/i] [i]Nobody helps him[/i] [i]Now he has his revenge[/i] [i]Heavy boots of lead[/i] [i]Fills his victims full of dread[/i] [i]Running as fast as they can[/i] [i]Iron Man lives again!*[/i] *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is one-half of the double main event of OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 and is a No Holds Barred Match for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 pounds. He is the former Muscle for The Lightning Crew/Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, AND the Winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall ignores the booing fans as he gets closer to the ring. COLE Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican at one time were close friends. But now, they are bitter enemies. COACH This company ain’t big enough for the both of them, and after tonight, I think one of them will take a LONG vacation…because of all of the injuries he has suffered from this match! COLE This is a No Holds Barred Match! No disqualifications, no countouts, no rope breaks. This is a fight to the finish! THERE MUST BE A WINNER! COACH And the winner will be 6’7” and weigh in at 285 pounds! COLE Or maybe the winner will be 5’9” and weigh in at 220 pounds? COACH Nah. It’s lights out for his Title reign after tonight! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, and then enters Ring One over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air to LOUD boos, but he doesn’t let the booing hurt him. COACH And look at that. Cuban Wall is wearing his LIGHTNING CREW T-shirt again! AND his LIGHTNING CREW vest too! COLE Perhaps a form of symbolism? Cuban Wall is trying to prove a point here tonight. Not only is he looking to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but he also wants to show Tha Puerto Rican that he NEEDS The Lightning Crew to survive in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COACH And he does! When Tha Puerto Rican led The Lightning Crew, how many matches did he win on his own? COLE Uh…um… COACH EXACTLY! Thereby proving Cuban Wall’s point! COLE He hasn’t proven his point yet, Coach. Until the bell rings and Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt, his point HASN’T been proven yet! But it might be proven tonight as Cuban Wall looks to snag the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! And he is going to do it against the man whose group he was in for FOUR years! COACH If you ask me, Wall should have been the leader of The Lightning Crew all along. COLE Cuban Wall didn’t seem to mind serving Tha Puerto Rican all those years. COACH That’s because PRL would never let him speak! If he spoke, you would hear all of the frustration coming out! COLE Eh…somehow I don’t believe that. Cuban Wall stands in the middle of Ring One. He makes an “L” with his arms -- The Lightning Crew Salute! The crowd boos. Pyro shoots out from the four ring posts in addition to from the ceiling. Cuban Wall has a smirk on his face. COLE Cuban Wall doing The Lightning Crew Salute now! COACH He is REALLY trying to rub it in to Tha Puerto Rican tonight at The Great Angle Bash! COLE But will it work? Will the mind games distract Tha Puerto Rican and take him off of his “A” game? Or will Cuban Wall’s comments last Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! fire up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and drive him to defeat his BIGGEST opponent yet to date? COACH Your inspirational comments are great! It makes it even better when Tha Puerto Rican inevitably fails! Makes it all the more sweeter to see him lose! I love it! COLE Oh come on! Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as “Iron Man” continues playing. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands into the air to LOUD boos from the fans. Wall gives the fans the “Up yours!” hand gesture. He laughs evilly on the turnbuckle. CW then gets off of the second turnbuckle and chuckles some more. COLE It is rare for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to be the underdog in a match, but in this case, you have to believe that PRL is the underdog! A No Holds Barred Match against the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall, a man that he has NEVER beaten, AND the man who eliminated him to win the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! COACH PRL’s back is against the Wall! No pun intended! COLE Oy vey. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a bit as “Iron Man” continues playing. COLE This will be the first ever one-on-one meeting between Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall if you don’t count that BOGUS match that the two had back on Thanksgiving in 2006. COACH Yeah! That was great! ‘The Conspiracy’! I remember that! But that was a different time! PRL was more focused back then! COLE I think he is more focused now! COACH What makes you say that? COLE He IS the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion now, Coach. COACH BAH! He got lucky! He got lucky at AngleMania VII, and he got lucky at School’s Out! Tonight, his luck runs out! Tonight, the belt goes to the man it SHOULD have gone to at AngleMania VII! THIS is Cuban Wall’s night…it may be 3 months overdue, but tonight IS his night! “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for Tha Puerto Rican’s entrance. Cuban Wall stands in Ring One and looks to the entrance. COLE We are just moments away from the arrival of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH For now, Michael. For now. Cuban Wall paces back and forth inside of ring 1. He has a cocky smirk on his face. COLE There’s no telling what Cuban Wall is going to do in this type of match-up with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on the line. COACH Hopefully, everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Cuban Wall stands in the center of Ring One with his hands on his hips and a cocky smirk on his face. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” [i]*DUN DUN*[/i] “…IS…” [i]*DUN*[/i] “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks across the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused solely on Cuban Wall. PRL is more intense than he usually is, his face sporting a cold expression. PRL now has a shaved head with a line down the middle. He also has a little facial hair underneath his chin. He has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Tha Puerto Rican throws up a “Killa B” to his fans as he walks to the rings. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! The Badd Boy of the OAOAST. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican removes his black vest and then throws it onto the entrance ramp while looking at Cuban Wall, who has an evil smile on his face. He then unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and throws it onto the entrance ramp. PRL then charges at full speed towards Ring One, leaping OVER the top ring rope and hitting Cuban Wall with a shoulderblock that DOESN’T knock him down but DOES cause him to stagger backwards into the ropes! COLE PRL draws first blood before the bell rings! COACH No he doesn’t! Pipe down! Tha Puerto Rican gets back to his feet just as Cuban Wall charges towards him with a clothesline! Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, turns around, and nails Cuban Wall with a left jab! Then another left jab! Then another! Cuban Wall hits PRL with a punch! Then another punch! Then another punch! The two men engage in a slugfest! The lights go back on inside of the arena. Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* [b]“Good Friends, Bitter Enemies”[/b] [b]NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP[/b] [b]THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion) vs. CUBAN WALL (Challenger)[/b] “Know Your Role 2000” dies down as Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican continue their slugfest! COLE And here we go! The World Title Match is underway here at The Great Angle Bash 2008! Both Cuban Wall and PRL lay into each other! Cuban Wall goes for a shot. Tha Puerto Rican ducks, jumps up, and nails Cuban Wall right in the face! He punches Wall some more, dazing the big man. Wall goes for another punch, Tha Puerto Rican ducks it, jumps up, and hits Wall with another punch! COACH What the hell man!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican hammering away at the 6’7” big man! Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with several Rock-style punches to the temple--but Cuban Wall stops that by kneeing PRL in the stomach, causing him to collapse onto the mat! COACH That’s better. COLE That huge 285 pound monster turning things around right there with that knee to the gut! Cuban Wall stops to catch his breath. He checks to make sure that he isn’t bleeding. The crowd boos. PRL is already on the mat coughing. PRL struggles to get up, so Cuban Wall helps him by grabbing Puerto by his shaved head and slamming his face into the top turnbuckle pad! Wall taunts P.R. He then grabs Puerto by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks by grabbing the top turnbuckle and jumping up, just in time as Cuban Wall charges forward, and he too stops in his tracks by grabbing the top turnbuckle! Unfortunately for Wall, when he turns around, Tha Puerto Rican is waiting for him with a dropkick that sends Cuban Wall OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Cuban Wall has been knocked over the top rope by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH FLUKE! FLUKE! FLUKE! Cuban Wall lands on his left knee. Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican finally removes his black chaps and throws them aside. Seeing Cuban Wall getting up, PRL rushes into action running backwards into the ropes so that he can get full speed so that he can hit Cuban Wall with a baseball slide that knocks him down onto the ground! COLE He got him again! He got him again! COACH NO! Cuban Wall takes a little bit slower to get up this time. While he gets up, Tha Puerto Rican exits Ring One and climbs the top turnbuckle. COLE What’s he going to do here? COACH No way he’ll make it! PRL is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. When the time is right, PR jumps off of the top rope…and hits Cuban Wall with a MOONSAULT TOPE right onto Cuban Wall taking him down again! COLE Three in a row! Three in a row! COACH SHUT UP! The crowd is going wild! PRL hammers away at Cuban Wall’s head on the outside! COACH BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP! COLE He can’t, Coach! IT’S NO HOLDS BARRED! COACH Drats! Tha Puerto Rican stops hammering away at Cuban Wall’s head. He slides into Ring One underneath the bottom rope and then slides out of Ring One underneath the bottom rope, continuing his sliding into Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. He then slides out of Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. He then goes over to Sofa Central and grabs Jonathan Coachman’s right foot! COACH HEY! WHAT THE HELL!? THA PUERTO RICAN Sorry! I need this! PRL takes off Coach’s right shoe and walks with it! COACH THAT BASTARD! THAT THIEF! HE JUST STOLE MY SHOE! THIS MAN IS OUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!? WHAT THE HELL MAN!? COLE PRL took your shoe! COACH I KNOW! DUDE’S CRAZY! Tha Puerto Rican climbs up onto the ring apron of Ring One with Coach’s right shoe. He then climbs the top rope, shoe in hand. PRL waits for Cuban Wall to get up. When he does, Tha Puerto Rican jumps off of the top rope and nails Cuban Wall with Coach’s right shoe knocking Wall down! COLE He just used your shoe as a weapon! COACH AGAINST Cuban Wall! You think I’m happy about that!? HELL NO! PRL throws the shoe out of the ring. COACH HEY! If you’re gonna steal my shoe, at least give it back! COLE He stole it. Do you really think he would give it back? COACH For me he damn well better! What a degenerate we have for a World Heavyweight Champion! Leaving me with one less shoe out in here! My right foot could be infected! I could get Athlete’s Foot! This floor IS sticky after all! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth, annoyed. He then covers Wall. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE Close fall, but the match continues! COACH Good! COLE I would think the smell of that shoe would knock out Wall for the whole night! COACH Bite me, Michael! PRL glances over at the referee. He then picks Cuban Wall up. PRL drags Wall by his shaved head over to a turnbuckle corner, where he proceeds to slam Cuban Wall’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! COACH COME ON WALL! PRL grabs Wall by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Tha Puerto Rican readies himself, and then rushes forward, jumping up, and crashing into Cuban Wall with a Stinger Splash! P.R. taunts Wall, and then grabs Wall by his left hand, whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle corner--NO!--Cuban Wall reverses, PRL is sent into the opposite turnbuckle corner where he does a Flair Flip, landing on the ring apron! However, Cuban Wall charges forward, hitting P.R. with a double axehandle which knocks him off of the ring apron and onto the barricade! The crowd boos! Cuban Wall smiles evilly! COLE Oh my! Tha Puerto Rican knocked out of Ring One by Cuban Wall! COACH That did it! PRL lies face down on the protective mats, breathing heavily. Cuban Wall takes a second to catch his breath. He checks his face to make sure that he isn’t bleeding. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Tha Puerto Rican’s Moonsault Tope onto Cuban Wall again. COLE Tha Puerto Rican struck first, but right now, Cuban Wall is very much in control of this match! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of this match! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. He calmly walks over to PRL as P.R. starts crawling around the ringside area. Wall grabs Puerto by his head, removing his Puerto Rican flag bandana in the process. Wall punches PRL right in the face with a right jab! PR collapses onto the protective mats! Cuban Wall chuckles. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL’s Flair Flip followed by Cuban Wall’s double axehandle sending PRL into the barricade. COLE Cuban Wall taking his time. COACH He can afford to. There are no rules, he’s big, PRL’s little, why wouldn’t he want to!? Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican and throws him back into Ring One. He then enters the ring himself, once again over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall grabs PR and hits him with some CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms that knock PR down onto the mat! COACH Well as long as Cuban Wall can dictate the pace, Cole, he’ll be in control and he’ll be the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall sneers at the crowd. COACH Oh, you people aren’t having any effect on Cuban Wall! Stop trying! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches him in the face, knocking him down onto the mat! PRL is now breathing heavily. He slowly crawls to his side and then goes to grab the ropes…but is stopped by Cuban Wall! Wall picks PRL up, holds him up by his right hand, and then hits him with a short-armed clothesline knocking PRL down! COLE Short-armed clothesline from the challenger! COACH Who will soon be the Champion! Cuban Wall stops to pose, causing the crowd to boo LOUDLY! Wall responds with an “Up yours!” gesture! He then picks PRL up and scoops him up into a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall runs into a turnbuckle corner, slamming PR’s back against the turnbuckles. Wall then runs into the opposite turnbuckle corner, slamming PRL’s back against the turnbuckles again! Wall then runs into the turnbuckle corner nearest to him, and once again slams PRL’s back against the turnbuckles. Finally, Cuban Wall rushes into the only turnbuckle corner he hasn’t hit yet, but he does now, slamming P.R.’s back against the turnbuckles. PRL lets out a blood curling scream! Wall then rushes forward and gives PRL a powerslam onto the mat! Wall goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! Cuban Wall sneers at the referee. He then picks the dazed Puerto Rican up. Cuban Wall scoops Puerto onto his right shoulder. He then charges forward, throwing PRL off of his right shoulder, and PRL lands, chin-first, onto the top turnbuckle pad! PRL bounces off of the turnbuckle pad onto the mat! COLE Snake Eyes from Cuban Wall! CUBAN WALL LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE LIGHTNING BOLTS! COACH HA! HA! Earl Hebner checks on PRL’s condition. PRL responds with, “Get the fuck away from me.” Cuban Wall calmly walks over and picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He sends PRL into a turnbuckle corner. CUBAN WALL HEY LIGHTNING BOLTS! LOOK AT YOUR HERO NOW! Cuban Wall knees PRL in the stomach! He then does it again! And again! COLE Cuban Wall is taunting the fans now! He feels like he has Tha Puerto Rican right where he wants him! COACH That’s because he does, Michael. That’s because he does. Cuban Wall chokes Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands! COLE Cuban Wall just sucking the life out of the World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Good! Good! Good! Wall stops choking P.R. PRL slumps down onto the mat, with only the top ring rope keeping him from falling flat on his face. PRL grabs ahold of Cuban Wall’s shirt to pull himself up. Wall just watches and shakes his head. P.R. crawls on his knees across the ring until Cuban Wall grabs him by his head and sets him back up onto his feet. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is giving up 65 lbs. in this match-up! Cole, he doesn’t have a chance! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. COACH Look, he picked him up like a feather! Cuban Wall parades around the ring while holding PRL’s body in his right hand. He then spins around, jumps up, and then jumps down, giving PRL a sidewalk slam HARD onto the mat! Wall chuckles as he sits up. CUBAN WALL Too easy. Too easy. COLE Cuban Wall made the match No Holds Barred! This is what he wanted! COACH And things are going Wall’s way right now! I love it! Cuban Wall stands up and removes the black wrist tape from his right wrist. He then chokes out Earl Hebner with the wrist tape! COLE Wait a minute! What the--what the hell!? What is he doing? Why? COACH When you’re 6’7” 285 pounds, you can do anything you want! COLE We said that this would be No Holds Barred, but we didn’t mean this! COACH Yes, we did. Cuban Wall continues choking Earl Hebner, and then simply throws him onto the mat! He throws the black wrist tape aside and then walks over to Earl Hebner. COACH Well, we said No Disqualifications, Cole! COLE Yeah, but this is taking it too far! He’s just a referee for crying out loud! COACH Do it all, Cuban Wall! Do it all, baby! Cuban Wall takes off Earl Hebner’s leather belt! With a sick smile on his face, Cuban Wall walks over to where PRL is lying, the leather belt covering his left hand. PRL is on his hands and knees, so Wall whips PRL’s back, bringing him back down onto the mat! COLE PRL just got struck with a leather belt! COACH Again! Again! Again! Both Earl Hebner and Tha Puerto Rican are slowly starting to get up. So, Cuban Wall whips PRL’s back again with the leather belt! PRL falls back down onto the mat! COLE Cuban Wall adding insult to injury! COACH No, he’s adding injury to insult right now! Come on! Wear him out! Ruin his life! Cuban Wall laughs as he watches PRL struggle to move. He then places the belt around PRL’s throat and starts choking him with it! COLE Oh come on! This is too much! Come on now! This is too much! COACH This is the best PRL match EVER! Cuban Wall steps on PRL’s back as he chokes PRL with Earl Hebner’s belt! PRL gasps for air! Earl Hebner tries to tell Cuban Wall to stop, but there’s not much he can do in a No Holds Barred Match! The crowd is going nuts, worried for The People’s Champion! COLE This has gone too far! This is crossing the line! COACH Well, then go and stop it, Cole! Or are you going to sit there and do nothing? Thought so. Cuban Wall stops choking PRL, but the leather belt is still wrapped around P.R.’s throat. That is so that Cuban Wall can pick PRL up using the leather strap, and then run with him towards the ring ropes, throwing PRL over the top rope! Cuban Wall hangs PRL over the top ring rope! COACH Hang in there, P.R.! HA! HA! HA! PRL struggles to breathe and flails his arms around. Cuban Wall ties the belt around the second ring rope. PRL tries in vain to get the belt off of his throat as Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. Earl Hebner tries to get Wall to untie Tha Puerto Rican, but Cuban Wall lunges after the referee, and the referee falls on his ass as a result. Wall calmly walks over to Michael Buffer…and shoves him off of his chair! COACH Good! I’ve been wanting to do that for years! COLE Now what!? CW grabs Michael Buffer’s steel chair and folds it up. Knowing full well that he has the match in his control, Cuban Wall casually walks on over with the steel chair in his left hand to where Tha Puerto Rican is struggling to remove the leather strap from around his neck. Seeing Tha Puerto Rican’s back turned, Wall readies himself…and SLAMS the steel chair right across the back of PRL! COLE Oh my! COACH Oh yes! Earl Hebner finally decides that he’s seen enough and goes to untie PRL himself. He succeeds in doing so as Cuban Wall just watches this from the outside with the steel chair in his left hand. Finally free, PRL slumps down onto the mat and rolls into Ring One underneath the bottom ring rope. Cuban Wall slides the steel chair underneath the bottom ring rope, and then enters the ring over the top ring rope while the OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cuban Wall throwing PRL over the top ring rope and hanging him from the second ring rope. COLE When was the last time PRL had any offense in this match? COACH Like 10-15 minutes ago! HA! HA! Cuban Wall picks up the steel chair and poses with it, drawing LOUD boos. PRL is slowly crawling around the ring. He slowly starts to get up. COACH Finish him off! Ruin his life, Cuban Wall! Ruin his life! Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets to a vertical base…and then is slammed in the back with the steel chair by Cuban Wall, which sends him back down flat on the mat again! COLE Oh no! COACH THAT’S FOR STEALING HIS TITLE SHOT AT ANGLEMANIA VII, P.R.! Tha Puerto Rican turns onto his back, his eyes glazed over. He is sweating, breathing hard, and groggy. Cuban Wall stands tall over PRL with the steel chair in his left hand. He motions for PRL to get back to his feet. COACH MAN WHAT AN ASSKICKING! I LOVE IT! P.R. crawls towards the ropes as Cuban Wall continues motioning for him to get up. P.R. uses the top and second ring ropes to pull himself up. Eventually, Puerto uses the top ring rope to get back to a vertical base. Cuban Wall winds up and takes a swing… COACH Blast him! …PRL moves out of the way… …the steel chair hits the top ring rope and ricochets back into Cuban Wall’s face! Cuban Wall stumbles and then falls on his ass on the mat, dropping the steel chair on the mat also! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH AW CRAP! COLE PRL escaped the chairshot just in the nick of time! COACH No! No! No! Get up Wall! GET UP! HE STOLE MY SHOE! GET HIM! Cuban Wall sits on the mat, a little dazed. Tha Puerto Rican slowly sits on his hands and knees, and then begins crawling to the ropes. But he stops when he sees the steel chair lying right next to him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what PRL does next. And indeed, Tha Puerto Rican grabs the steel chair. COLE PRL has the chair! Tha Puerto Rican has the chair! COACH Look out, Wall! PRL uses the steel chair to push himself back onto his feet. Cuban Wall is slowly getting up. Wall is on his left knee. PRL raises the steel chair over his head as Cuban Wall is on his knees. COACH GET THAT CHAIR AWAY FROM HIM REFEREE! PRL swings the chair-- LOWBLOW ON THA PUERTO RICAN! The crowd groans. Tha Puerto Rican collapses onto the mat, dropping the steel chair! THA PUERTO RICAN MY NUTS! Both Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall are kissing the canvas. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE The 20,000-plus in attendance all rooting for Tha Puerto Rican to retain his OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! COACH They can’t help him in a No Holds Barred Match, Cole! They’re useless…more so than usual! Cuban Wall is up first. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite ropes. He follows that up with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop that sends PRL flying into the air before crashing onto the mat! Wall sneers at the crowd while Earl Hebner checks on PR’s condition. THA PUERTO RICAN I told you, get the fuck away from me! Cuban Wall calmly walks over and turns PRL onto his back. He then covers Puerto. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE It’s not over! COACH DAMNIT! Cuban Wall is slightly annoyed that that wasn’t the finish. PRL has a sneer on his face as he sits up, his eyes glazed over. COLE Tha Puerto Rican won’t quit! COACH He will in a few seconds! Cuban Wall gets up, and simply squeezes PRL’s head! COLE Look at this! COACH Twist it off! COLE I think a lesser competitor would have just given up on that last pin attempt. COACH Is it over if Tha Puerto Rican gives up? COLE Of course it is! It’s pin or submission, the only 2 ways you can win this match! Cuban Wall continues squeezing PRL’s head. Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican, who is quickly losing whatever energy he had left. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican feeds from the energy of the crowd. He starts stomping his feet. His fists are clenched. The crowd gets louder and louder. COACH I bet PRL wishes the past year or so never happened right now! COLE I bet PRL is GLAD that the past year or so happened! COACH Not right now he is! Look at him! Being squished by Cuban Wall! Last year at this time, Cuban Wall was doing the squishing *for* him! PRL starts shaking, while his head continues being squeezed by Cuban Wall. P.R. turns to his side. He then gets to his left knee. He then stands, slightly bent over though. PRL then uses Cuban Wall’s giant gut to push himself a few inches away from the big man. PRL then punches Cuban Wall in the gut! He then does it again! And again! Cuban Wall shoves PRL off of him…but PRL holds onto Wall’s Lightning Crew T-shirt and punches him in the gut again! He punches Wall in the gut once more, before Wall shoves PRL onto the mat! PRL rolls through and gets back to his feet, only to get knocked back down with a Cuban Wall punch! Still, Tha Puerto Rican gets back up, and once again, he gets punched right in the face, taking him back down to the mat! But AGAIN, PRL stands up, and this time walks right into a Cuban Wall punch which sends the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion through the ropes and onto the floor! COLE PRL has taken a severe beating in this match-up! COACH And it’s about to get worse! Cuban Wall sneers at the crowd. The crowd boos loudly. PRL grabs onto the ring apron of Ring One to pull himself back to his feet. As he does this, Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. COLE There’s no countout, ladies and gentlemen! You win the match by pinfall or submission! COACH They heard you the first time, Michael! Shut up with it already! Cuban Wall slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying near Ring Two. Wall does The Lightning Crew Salute, drawing boos! COLE And look at this! Look at this 6’7” 285 pound monster! COACH Uh-oh! PRL is in trouble now! COLE Cuban Wall dominating the match-up thus far with P.R.! What’s he going to do with him? Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He says something to PRL while pointing a menacing finger at him…and then clutches his throat in a GOOZLE~! COLE No! No! No! Cuban Wall has PRL in his grasp, The Great One struggling to breathe. The crowd is anxious, worried for PR. Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he grabs Tha Puerto Rican and lifts him up high into the air. He holds Puerto in the air for a few seconds, taking him over to Sofa Central… …WHERE HE PROCEEDS TO CHOKESLAM THA PUERTO RICAN THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd is shocked! PRL lies in the wreckage of what *used* to be the announce table! The two monitors lie on top of PRL, as do various papers and Michael Cole and Da Coach’s headsets. PRL’s eyes are closed and he is breathing hard. Michael Cole removes the monitors off of Tha Puerto Rican’s body. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper’s table and walks with it into Ring Two, entering over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand, an evil smile on his face. This draws the loudest boos of the match so far. Michael Cole is still trying to take the pieces of the announce table off of PRL. Cuban Wall demands that Earl Hebner come over and strap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. The Senior Referee of the OAOAST tells Wall that the match is still going on. CUBAN WALL He’s done! He’s finished! He’s got nothing left in him! He’s FINISHED! Cuban Wall yells at the referee to help him strap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. As this is going on, Da Coach is helping Michael Cole pick up the remains of the announce table. At this point, Tha Puerto Rican finally starts moving his arms. He s l o w l y pulls himself up so that he is sitting down on the concrete. When he sees Jonathan Coachman picking up the pieces of the announce table, PRL pushes him away and gives him a dirty look. PR is slightly out of it, shaking, breathing hard, and mumbling. He also looks VERY irritated at what he just went through. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion finally gets up, but needs to hold on to the barricade to maintain his balance. Michael Cole tries to hold PRL up, but PRL shoves Cole away from him. PRL tries to stand up, but collapses, a piece of the broken table being the only thing preventing him from falling onto the concrete. THA PUERTO RICAN I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME! COLE LET IT BE OVER, P.R.! JUST LET IT BE OVER! Tha Puerto Rican uses the top of the barricade to pull himself back up to his feet. Now finally back on his own two feet, Tha Puerto Rican is PISSED OFF beyond belief! He shoves Michael Cole aside, and then power walks a few feet…before collapsing onto the protective mats. P.R. now crawls towards the ring. Cuban Wall is growing tired of waiting for PRL to get back into one of the rings, but gives the Champ a few more seconds to do so. When PRL still doesn’t come back into one of the rings, Wall decides to just go get him and bring him back into one of the rings himself. So, Cuban Wall walks towards the edge of Ring Two, and goes to grab Tha Puerto Rican-- --AND GETS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER THAT’S BEEN DISCHARGED~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cuban Wall covers his face and stumbles in the ring. PRL drops the fire extinguisher and takes a few moments to catch his breath. He then slides into Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. Cuban Wall is blinded thanks to the contents of the fire extinguisher, so he throws out punches, hoping to connect with PRL, but failing each and every time. But PRL *does* connect with his Rock-style punch to the temple! And his second one! And his third one! And his fourth one! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Cuban Wall does NOT go down, but he is woozy, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs Wall by his left hand and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Cuban Wall reverses, PRL charges forward, hits the opposite ropes, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward, leaps up, and hits Cuban Wall with a Flying Forearm that knocks the big man down! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL is FIRED UP, DAMNIT~! He is also PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF~! P.R., his face all red with ANGER, paces back and forth around the ring, getting the crowd pumped up. COLE We are back and Tha Puerto Rican is in control! Can Tha Puerto Rican do it? Can Tha Puerto Rican pull it out!? COACH N-O! NO! PRL exits Ring Two and goes over to Sofa Central where he grabs Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman’s steel chair. COACH HEY! THIEF! PRL looks back at Coach. COACH (Pointing to Michael Cole) IT WAS HIM! HE’S THE ONE YOU WANT TO BEAT! PRL sneers at Coach, and then walks with the steel chair back into Ring Two. Cuban Wall has rolled out of Ring Two underneath the bottom ring rope and has rolled into Ring One underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL follows Wall into Ring One. Not wasting any more time, Tha Puerto Rican raises the steel chair over his head… *WHAM!* …and hits Cuban Wall over the head with it! COLE Now it’s PRL turn with the chair! COACH THAT’S MY CHAIR! YOU ASS! Cuban Wall stumbles, but doesn’t fall! So, PRL simply swings the steel chair again… *WHAM!* …and hits Cuban Wall over the head with it again! And this time, Cuban Wall DOES go down! Wall lies on the mat spread eagle. And a small cut has appeared on his forehead. COLE You got him down, P.R.! Cover him! Cover him! COACH Cuban Wall has got a cut! The man is bleeding! THE MAN IS BLEEDING! P.R. sees Cuban Wall laid out, and gets an idea. Quickly moving into action, PRL grabs Cuban Wall’s hands and drags him into the center of Ring One slowly. Once he’s done that, PRL then walks on over, talking trash the entire time, and stands over Cuban Wall. Then, he kicks Cuban Wall’s right hand onto his chest. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Oh no. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then does some weird hand signals, and then charges backwards, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, leaps over Cuban Wall, charges forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward. COLE It is now time for the Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks, taunts Cuban Wall, and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow onto Cuban Wall to a LOUD pop from the fans! COLE Puerto Rico Elbow! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican covers Cuban Wall, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner counts. COACH NO! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!! COLE No! Only 2! Only the count of 2! COACH Oh thank goodness! Thank goodness for that! The crowd is surprised that that wasn’t the finish! So, is PRL. But that just gets him even MORE angry than he already was. PRL stands up and thinks about what to do next. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gotten a second wind here! COACH DO SOMETHING WALL! COME ON! IF ANYBODY CAN STOP PRL’S WORLD TITLE REIGN, IT’S YOU! COLE Can PRL pull off the upset here!? COACH NO HE CAN’T! HE’S GONNA CHOKE! CHOKE LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cuban Wall Chokeslamming Tha Puerto Rican through the announce table. It then shows PRL using the fire extinguisher on Cuban Wall. Meanwhile, in real time, Tha Puerto Rican has picked Cuban Wall, who now has blood trickling down his face, up and has grabbed him by his left hand so that he can give him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Cuban Wall charges forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and then charges forward. PRL puts his head down, so Cuban Wall stops in his tracks, grabs Tha Puerto Rican, lifts him up onto his left shoulder, and then holds him there for a few seconds…before dropping down to his knees, giving PRL a backbreaker in the process! The Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH HE DID IT! HE DID IT! WE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! The crowd is SHOCKED! Tha Puerto Rican drops onto the mat in tremendous pain! He holds his back and lets out a blood curling scream! Cuban Wall is still on his knees, smiling evilly as he looks down at the fallen Puerto Rican. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been hit with the Wallbreaker! But Cuban Wall ISN’T going for the pin! COACH I think I know why! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! PRL is in SOOOO much trouble! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall stands up tall. He looks down at Tha Puerto Rican with the same evil smile on his face. He looks at the crowd and laughs manically. COLE Who would have thought, after all these years, that we would see Cuban Wall doing the Wallbreaker on Tha Puerto Rican!? COACH I did. It was inevitable. COLE Oh will you stop!? Cuban Wall nods his head. He then rushes backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, and then jumps up…and jumps down onto Tha Puerto Rican with all 285 pounds of him hitting The Latin Lion! The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! IT’S OVER! IT’S FINALLY OVER! COLE Cuban Wall has hit The Lightning Crew Splash! That’s his move! Is this really the beginning of Cuban Wall’s World Heavyweight Championship reign!? Cuban Wall sits on his knees for one second to look down at Tha Puerto Rican and smile evilly. He then covers Tha Puerto Rican, not even bothering to hook his legs. Tha Puerto Rican is in horrible pain right now. The crowd boos loudly. Referee Earl Hebner counts. Cuban Wall counts along, blood covering his face. COLE Here is the cover! COACH YES! YES! YES! FINALLY! 1... 2... COACH YES! YES! YES! 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3--KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? COLE THA PUERTO RICAN KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! THA PUERTO RICAN HAS KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! COACH THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING! The crowd is shocked, but overjoyed! Cuban Wall is shocked, but ANGRY! He yells at Earl Hebner for his supposed “slow count”, but the referee insists that it was a fair count. Wall cannot believe that someone kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash! He stands over Tha Puerto Rican speechless. COLE That’s the first time in Cuban Wall’s over four year career in the One And Only AngleSault Thread that somebody has kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash! And the man who did it was the man who FORMED The Lightning Crew five years ago! COACH This can’t be happening! Oh God, this CANNOT BE HAPPENING! Tha Puerto Rican is shaking. PRL grits his teeth and shakes his fists. He sits up on the mat, the crowd getting more excited by the second! Cuban Wall just watches, still stunned that somebody kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash. COLE This looks like PR’s *third* wind! COACH OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! Cuban Wall shakes his head and then refocuses back on the match. A scowl appears on the big man’s face as he stands up. Wall curses Tha Puerto Rican. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his *neck* and then lifts him up to his feet. CW then grabs PR by his left hand and then whips him into the ropes. P.R. bounces off of the ropes. Cuban Wall goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, rushes forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward and then jumps up, nailing Cuban Wall with the Gamengiri which knocks him down! COLE [b]Dodge THIS, BITCH~![/b] COACH AAH! PRL quickly gets back up, a scowl now on *his* face. The crowd going nuts, PRL gives Cuban Wall a shaky leg kick before exiting Ring One and quickly climbing the top turnbuckle. COLE PRL is going up! COACH Oh dang it! Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then stands hunched over on the top rope. P.R. then stands up tall on the top rope. Tha Puerto Rican leaps off of the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air, and then crashes down onto Cuban Wall with his left elbow hitting Cuban Wall’s chest! The People’s Elbow Drop! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop on Cuban Wall! PRL immedialtey stands right back up and heads to a turnbuckle corner. Once there, he points at Cuban Wall…and then starts stomping his right foot ala Shawn Michaels. COACH Oh God, I hate this! COLE PRL is tuning up the band! Tha Puerto Rican continues stomping his right foot. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. PRL motions for Cuban Wall to get up. Cuban Wall slowly gets up to his feet. PRL is FUMING. Cuban Wall stands up. PRL stops stomping his right foot and then charges forward. Cuban Wall turns around… *KA-POW~!* …and gets kicked in the face with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music connects on Cuban Wall! Cuban Wall is DOWN! COACH WALL GET UP! WALL GET UP! WALL GET UP NOW! Tha Puerto Rican jumps up and down in excitement. The crowd is getting louder by the second! Cuban Wall is still knocked down on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. “THAT’S IT!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE ‘That’s it!’ The signal for the P.R. Nightmare! PRL is going for the finish! He wants to finish off Cuban Wall once and for all! COACH OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican gets into his predator position for the P.R. Nightmare. Cuban Wall is still lying on the mat. The crowd is cheering loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN GET UP! COLE PR motioning for Wall to get up now! COACH LOOK OUT WALL! LOOK OUT! Cuban Wall starts moving his arms. He then turns to his side. PRL is still preparing for the P.R. Nightmare. COLE Come on, P.R.! Come on! COACH Hey! Shut up with that crap! Cuban Wall rolls over to his hands and knees. PRL is practically foaming at the mouth now. He is speaking through his teeth, yelling at Wall to get up. Cuban Wall gets to his left knee. The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican’s face as he watches Cuban Wall get up. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, blood flowing down his face, and then pushes himself up. COACH PRL really did make Cuban Wall bleed! COLE He said that he would and he did! COACH AWWGHAHW! The crowd is at a fever pitch. Cuban Wall slowly rises back up to his feet. Wall is bent over, sucking wind. PR is nodding his head, feeling that the end is near. PRL motions for Wall to come close to him. COLE Here it comes! COACH OH NO! Cuban Wall stands up straight. He is now at a vertical base. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, wipes some of the blood off of his face and checks it out, and then turns around… …right into a kick in the gut from Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican grabs Cuban Wall. “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican applies a front facelock on Cuban Wall. “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican grabs ahold of Cuban Wall’s tights. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. He nods his head. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Using all of the energy that he has left, Tha Puerto Rican struggles…struggles…struggles to lift Cuban Wall off of the mat…but eventually gets Wall’s feet off of the mat…high enough so that he can drill Cuban Wall’s head right into the mat with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! The P.R. Nightmare on Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican has given Cuban Wall the P.R. Nightmare! COACH OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican takes a second to catch his breath, and then covers the bloodied Cuban Wall, hooking his right leg. Referee Earl Hebner counts. The crowd counts along. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 MOTHERFUCKING 3~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 *DING DING DING* (15:46) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican does several fist pumps in succession! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican stands up and flips Cuban Wall off several times! THA PUERTO RICAN YEAH! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! THAT’S RIGHT! WHO’S THE MAN!? WHO’S THE MAN!? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! BOO-YAH~! IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER! BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican gives Cuban Wall an “Up yours!” hand gesture. THA PUERTO RICAN THIS IS MY HOUSE! NOT YOUR HOUSE! MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! I RULE THE SCHOOL! I RUN THIS BITCH, MOTHERFUCKER! ME! THAT’S WHO! MOTHERFUCKER! GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF MY FUCKING RING! GET TO STEPPING, BITCH! Cuban Wall lies on the mat in tremendous pain. He covers his head as he rolls out of Ring One. Cuban Wall stands up on his own two feet, and then walks up towards the steps to the entrance ramp. THA PUERTO RICAN BYE BYE PUNK! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE! GET TO STEPPING! YOU AIN’T WELCOME HERE NO MORE! I DON’T NEED YOUR CANDY ASS ANYMORE! GO! SKIDADDLE! VAMANOS! GET OUT OF HERE! Cuban Wall walks up the steps onto the entrance ramp. Once there, Wall takes a moment to catch his breath, crushed at his defeat. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, wipes the blood off of his face, looks at it and grumbles, and then turns back to look at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL shoots him two middle fingers. Cuban Wall sneers at Tha Puerto Rican, and then turns back around, beginning the sad lonely walk on the entrance ramp back to the lockerroom without the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his procession. COLE Tha Puerto Rican didn’t win the match. He SURVIVED it! THA PUERTO RICAN GO MOTHERFUCKER! GO! GIVE ME MY FUCKING BELT! Cuban Wall lunges at a cameraman who gets too close to him on the entrance ramp. He then exits through the curtains. Earl Hebner hands Tha Puerto Rican the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. PRL grabs the belt, and then shoves Earl Hebner out of Ring One. This leaves Tha Puerto Rican all by himself inside of the ring to celebrate his victory with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and his Lightning Bolts as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Cuban Wall tried and came close to becoming World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career, but we all saw just how much heart Tha Puerto Rican has as he has defeated his biggest challenge to date to successfully RETAIN the OAOAST Championship for the second month in a row! COACH I am going to be sick. Excuse me. PRL slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He points to it, screaming. THA PUERTO RICAN THIS IS MINE! THIS IS MY PROPERTY! YOU WANNA COME AND TRY TO TAKE IT!? COME ON! I DARE YA! I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA! COME ON AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT! PRL places the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him. THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT, BITCHES! COME ON! I CAN BEAT CUBAN WALL! I CAN BEAT ANYBODY! COME ON! COME AND GET ME! COME AND GET ME! COME AND GET ME! I DARE YA! COME ON! Tha Puerto Rican removes his Puerto Rican flag wristbands and throws them into the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON AND FIGHT ME! COME ON! I AM HERE ALL DAY! I AIN’T AFRAID OF NOBODY! GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT BECAUSE YOUR BEST STILL WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH TO DEFEAT ME! COME ON! PRL poses in the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has defeated his former running buddy once and for all! And he did it all by himself! He didn’t need The Lightning Crew! He didn’t need Stephen Joseph Popick! He didn’t need Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, or Mr. Boricua, or Thomas Rodriguez, or Princess Stacey, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or John “Rock Hard” Brickston, or Spanish Fly, or anybody else! He did it ALL BY HIMSELF! Tha Puerto Rican proves a point to Cuban Wall, to the fans, and most importantly, to himself tonight at The Great Angle Bash 2008! PRL continues motioning for the other Superstars of the OAOAST to “Just Bring It!” THA PUERTO RICAN I’m the man! I’m #1! Not you! ME! The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Cuban Wall hanging Tha Puerto Rican over the top ring rope with the leather belt. Cut to Cuban Wall Chokeslamming Tha Puerto Rican through the announce table. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican spraying the contents of the fire extunginsher into Cuban Wall’s face. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican kicking out of The Lightning Crew Splash. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican hitting Cuban Wall with the Sweet Chin Music. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican giving Cuban Wall the P.R. Nightmare to win the match and successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. COLE What a match this was! Cuban Wall dominated PRL, hanging him over the top rope with a leather belt. At one point, he CHOKESLAMMED PRL THROUGH the announce table, breaking it in half! But PRL fought back with that fire extungisher, only to fall victim to the Wallbreaker and The Lightning Crew Splash…or so we thought. PRL amazingly KICKED OUT of The Lightning Crew Splash and came back to life! He got his 2nd or I suppose 17th wind and hit Cuban Wall with the Sweet Chin Music followed by the P.R. Nightmare to SUCCESSFULLY retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title tonight at The Great Angle Bash! Aren’t you going to say something, Coach? COACH I am too disgusted beyond words to say anything right now, Michael Cole. COLE Oh well. Continue being a sourpuss. COACH I ain’t no pussy! I LOVE pussy, but I AIN’T no pussy! COLE I said sourpuss, not pussy. COACH What the hell is a sourpuss? A pussy that’s sour? COLE You know what? Just nevermind. Nevermind. COACH Because if that’s the case, then your mom had a sourpuss! COLE Oh, will you stop!? COACH HA! HA! COLE Ugh. The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut back to live action as Tha Puerto Rican grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and heads to a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to climb the second turnbuckle and raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a loud pop from the crowd. PRL mouths, “THAT’S RIGHT!” PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle, and then climbs the second turnbuckle opposite the one he was just on, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head again to a pop from the fans. PRL gives the fans a “Killa B”, and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle. P.R. heads to a third second turnbuckle. Once there, P.R. raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. P.R. jumps off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he once again raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL does The People’s Eyebrow while standing on the second turnbuckle. The crowd cheers LOUDLY. PRL slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle back onto the mat, tired, fatigued, in pain, but the winner. COLE Tha Puerto Rican did it! He pulled off the upset! He defeated Cuban Wall 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring BY HIMSELF! Tha Puerto Rican walks to the center of the ring, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted, PRL has been in the ring for that long. THA PUERTO RICAN I am the Badd Boy Of The OAOAST! I CAN’T BE STOPPED! NO HOW! NO WAY! NUH-UH! BOO-YAH~! DEAL WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YEAH! Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him. The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN WOO-HAH! GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK! PRL stands up, and paces around the ring while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. He is still FIRED UP, even though he is the only person inside of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him on the opposite side of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him on the other two sides of the ring. The crowd is still cheering loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. PRL raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head one more time to a loud pop from the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican exits Ring One underneath the top ring rope. Tha Puerto Rican walks across the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as he slaps hands with the fans along the way. COLE Tha Puerto Rican went through a HELLACIOUS battle here tonight! But he came out of it alive and STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He has shown the world just how much of a man he truly is! Tha Puerto Rican has shown us just how much guts he truly has! His AND Cuban Wall’s careers might never be the same again! Oh my! What an incredible, memorable match-up! COACH Too bad about the ending. COLE It was the ending all of these fans, these Lightning Bolts, wanted, and they got it! COACH Uh-oh. I’m feeling that chilli dog coming back up again! COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s dream came true after defeating Stephen Joseph Popick to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII back in March in Los Angeles, and his dream still lives on after defeating Cuban Wall in a No Holds Barred Match to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 tonight in Minneapolis! COACH Ugh. I AM going to be sick! COLE Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican is still slapping hands with the fans as he continues his walk across the entrance ramp back to the entrance, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt still over his left shoulder and the crowd still cheering loudly as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Tha Puerto Rican defeats Cuban Wall to successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in a BRUTAL but memorable No Holds Barred Match! And we have got MORE BRUTALITY coming your way tonight here at The Great Angle Bash! WarGames: The Match Beyond, Team Sommers vs. Team Phoenix, is coming up next in just a few moments fans! Tha Puerto Rican slaps the last few fans' hands left and then walks over to the entrance raising his right fist into the air while the crowd cheers loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted a second time. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand near the curtains, a serious expression on his face, while the crowd cheers loudly. PRL is sweating, breathing hard, his face is red, and he is in a lot of pain, but the fact that he is still World Heavyweight Champion makes it all worth it. P.R. blows a kiss to the fans and then cracks a little half-smile, and then waves goodbye to his Lightning Bolts. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and then turns around, exiting through the curtains. The crowd continues cheering while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the final image that we see before we fade out. Looks like Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t need The Lightning Crew after all. [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

Yo! Yo! Yo! People! The PRL/Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship has been edited into the show! Finally! I am sorry for the delay. So...yeah, go ahead and read it. You can now. Since it has been edited in and all. So read it. Feedback it. You know what to do. Word.

-Replay of Tha Puerto Rican/Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match from OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 (Translation: I'll have the match edited in by tonight) -Tha Puerto Rican promo -Something else

I should have the World Title Match edited in late late tonight.

Place this wherever you want. We fade in on Tha Puerto Rican doing the HBK muscle pose with pyro going off behind him. Cuban Wall stands next to him. This is all in black and white. Somber music plays. NARRATOR They were once good friends. Cut to Cuban Wall chokeslamming some poor scrub. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican doing The People's Elbow Drop onto that same scrub. Cut to OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone: [i][Cuban] Wall shows off his newly won OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. PRL shows off his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. Both men laugh evilly, and then PRL jumps onto Cuban Wall's shoulders. PRL raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head with an evil smile on his face while Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt in the air at the same time. Garbage is thrown in their direction.[/i] Cut to Tha Puerto Rican walking to the ring with The Lightning Crew, Cuban Wall right next to him. [i]THA PUERTO RICAN Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall are unstoppable![/i] Cut to Cuban Wall clotheslining the back of Tha Puerto Rican's neck on the November 30, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Cuban Wall then giving Tha Puerto Rican The Lightning Crew Splash on the same show. This is shown in color. NARRATOR But one act has made them bitter enemies. [i]COLE The Lightning Crew has turned on Tha Puerto Rican! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS BETRAYED THA PUERTO RICAN![/i] HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! plays as we see a collection of clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action IN COLOR~! NARRATOR Now, it is the war to avenge the score! Cut to Cuban Wall posing in a broken down warehouse. The words "CUBAN WALL" appear in big white blocky letters. NARRATOR Cuban Wall... Cut to a collection of Cuban Wall clips showing him destroying opponents. CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You throwing some kind of idle threats!? I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican posing in a broken down warehouse with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The words "THA PUERTO RICAN" appear in big white blocky letters. NARRATOR ...vs. Tha Puerto Rican... Cut to a collection of PRL clips showing him beating opponents. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) You, my 'friend', are going to fail! Cut to Cuban Wall attacking Tha Puerto Rican after the Match Of Champions on the June 5, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Cuban Wall attacking Tha Puerto Rican backstage on the June 12, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall brawling with each other on the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. NARRATOR ...in a No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) I've got you right where I want you! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) JUST BRING IT! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall celebrating after a victory. NARRATOR Good friends, Cut to Cuban Wall hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a ::Beltshot:: on the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. NARRATOR Bitter enemies. Cut to more clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action against various opponents. The HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! continues playing. CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You ain't even in my league! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) It's put up or shut up time! Cut to a black screen with information regarding the OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 pay-per-view. NARRATOR OAOAST The Great Angle Bash! Sunday June 29th at 8:00 PM EST/5:00 PM PST, LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Call your local cable or satelite operator to order NOW! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You are going to get BROKEN! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I'm gonna to make you BLEED! The HIGH OCTANE FAST PACED ROCK MUSIC~! ends. As does the commercial.

So yeah, put these promos together at the very end of the show, making it the last thing we see before we head into OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008! As "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys continues playing, we cut to Cuban Wall, sitting on a chair in front of a blue background with the OAOAST logo on it. Cuban Wall is wearing his wrestling attire because he lives and breathes wrestling, DAMNIT! In addition to that, he is wearing sunglasses and gold chains around his neck. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face when the camera cuts to him. CUBAN WALL So it has finally happened. I finally get a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This Sunday at The Great Angle Bash I get what should have been mine a LONG time ago! And they are calling this match 'Good Friends, Bitter Enemies'. Heh. Cute. Not exactly my first choice for a tagline, but then again, I am not one of the marketing geniuses of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. But you know something, P.R.? It's more than that. Yeah, it goes beyond that. Because you know what, P.R.? You've changed. You are not the same fearless man that you used to be. You are not the same ballsy talented competitor who kicked ass and won title after title! Oh no! You are not the same guy that led The Lightning Crew for four incredible years and could have led it for many more. No, instead, you are weak. You are pathetic. You are soft. You have lost what made you great. You are a shell of your former self. It is sad to see you play to these idiots, make them your world. You didn't used to care about the fans! What the hell happened!? But it's okay. It's all right, because Cuban Wall is your remedy. He's gonna bring you back! Back to the Promised Land! I'm like Jimmy Jones! 'Bring me my children!' And PRL, you are one of them. The camera does a close-up of Cuban Wall's face as he continues speaking. CUBAN WALL (CONT'D) This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to get what I SHOULD have gotten at AngleMania VII! This match is really 3 months overdue, P.R.! Well, good things come to those who wait and this Sunday the waiting will end. No Holds Barred. That's right, NO HOLDS BARRED! I DO TO YOU WHATEVER I WANT TO DO! You have never beaten a man of my size on your own! You have never won a match like this without The Lightning Crew! YOU HAVE NEVER WON A DAMN THING IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER WITHOUT SOMEONE'S HELP! And P.R., you won't have ANY help this Sunday night! THIS WILL BE A FIGHT! MANO-E-MANO! WHO'S THE TOUGHEST!? WHO'S THE BADDEST!? NO HOLDS BARRED! And you know something, PRL? You are treading in water where only the big boys can play! And I am the biggest boy in the game right now! This Sunday night, I am going to show the world that you needed The Lightning Crew to survive in the wrestling business! I am going to show the world that without The Lightning Crew you cannot hack it! I am going to show the world this Sunday that everything you got you got because of me, or Mr. Boricua, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or Thomas Rodriguez, or anyone else in The Lightning Crew! This Sunday night, the whole world will see just how much of a weakling, just how much of a FRAUD, just how much of a LOSER you really are! Pay-per-view, The Great Angle Bash 2008, PRL, you are looking at the next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Cuban Wall smiles an evil smile as the camera cuts to the matchup graphic for Tha Puerto Rican vs. Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008. "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing. The camera cuts to Tha Puerto Rican standing in the OAOAST Control Center. Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt, a grey vest, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and black dress pants with a leather belt to hold them up. PRL has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN A No Holds Barred Match against the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall. You know, everybody is wondering, 'PRL, that really isn't your style! Aren't you a little bit worried?' You know something? First, everybody told me that an Ultimate X Match with my career on the line was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong! THEN, everybody told me that a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year in front of over 100,000-plus fans at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California with a biased referee officiating was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong AGAIN! THEN, everybody told me that a Triple Threat Match against two of the most talented wrestlers in the world today for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship was not...my...style! And I PROVED them WRONG AGAIN! I have PROVED my diversity to Spanish Fly! I have PROVED my diversity to Stephen Joseph Popick! I have PROVED my diversity to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix AND "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! I have PROVED my diversity to everybody else in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And NOW, everybody is telling me that fighting is not...my...style! Well, incase you haven't gotten it by now: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! I've got news for you: MY STYLE IS WHATEVER IT WANTS TO BE! The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face as he continues speaking, FIRED UP~! "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing in the background. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) This Sunday night, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at The Great Angle Bash 2008, in the No Holds Barred Match, I will show you Cuban Wall just how great I truly am! I am going to show you just how overrated The Lightning Crew was and how USELESS they really were to me! This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to show you, The Lightning Bolts, and the WHOLE WORLD THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE! And that I AM THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND THE GREATEST PUERTO RICAN ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY! In Minneapolis, Cuban Wall, you are going to find out just how much of a USELESS LACKEY you were to me when I WHOOP your 6'7" 285 pound fat ass all over the Target Center! Cuban Wall, watch out for the lightning strikes, because this Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, you will suffer a P.R. Nightmare after I layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow. He then sneers at the camera while breathing hard. He is visibly shaking, he is SO FIRED UP, DAMNIT~! The camera continues its close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face IN ANGER~! as "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys ends. We fade out on Tha Puerto Rican's sneering, visibly shaking face. [b]FADE OUT[/b]

You can have the first segment and the main event, but can I have the last segment please? -Tha Puerto Rican promo about the No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Cuban Wall at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 -Cuban Wall promo about the No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Tha Puerto Rican at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 -Tha Puerto Rican vs. Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 commercial

-"Good Friends, Bitter Enemies" NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Tha Puerto Rican (Champion) vs. Cuban Wall (Challenger)

The main event has FINALLY been edited in, people! Along with the segment explaining exactly WHY the main event did not take place last week (which is now technically two weeks ago, but nevermind). Sorry for the delay, everyone! Enjoy the segment and the match!

Yeah. That'd be cool.

Because I didn't get to do it last week (and I hope that I'm allowed to use him this week, KC): -NON-TITLE MATCH Tha Puerto Rican vs. Christian Wright (with Mackenzie DeCenzo) -And a short segment to actually explain WHY the match didn't take place last week

Okay. -MAIN EVENT NON-TITLE MATCH Tha Puerto Rican vs. Christian Wright (with Mackenzie DeCenzo)

Would anyone like to fight the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in the main event? I don't really feel like using a jobber.