Ed Wood Caulfield

Like many said, it's a show that defined my childhood. I've seen that and WrestleMania VI so many times. For years I thought that Hogan won his first WWF Title at this event, so that's a pretty big reason why this show is so special to me because I was a HUGE Hogan mark and I loved watching him win (what I thought was) his first World Title again and again. The only thing I remember from watching this show as a child is Hogan raising the WWF Championship belt over his head in victory. That and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake's entrance. WrestleMania V and WrestleMania VI go together like peanut butter and jelly for me.

Isn't that the old WWF Saturday morning show from 1993-1995 hosted by Todd Pettengill?

-OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Stephen Joseph Popick (Champion with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) STIPULATION: Tha Puerto Rican is barred from ringside during this match-up

The Ultimate X Match has been edited into the show. Not to pat myself on the back, but you REALLY got to check this match out! This one's a doozy, folks!

In the same vein, I've been looking for "Mr. McMahon's Utopia" forever. If memory serves me right, it was a PPV intro for either one of the shows where Austin defended against Dude Love. Help? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp3E84v6J0Q The first 10 minutes of WWF Over The Edge: In Your House. You'll see it right at the beginning after the usual WWF Attitude opening.

-"Desperate Measures" CAREER VS. TITLE SHOT ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE ANGLEMANIA VII OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SHOT Tha Puerto Rican vs. Spanish Fly (Representing Cuban Wall) STIPULATION: If Tha Puerto Rican wins, he gets a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30, 2008 from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California. If Spanish Fly wins, Tha Puerto Rican must retire from professional wrestling. -PRL interview -Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation segment

Put this match as the main event, please! If you may! kthxbye "THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The opening to “No Chance In Hell” starts playing over the P.A. system. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation entrance video plays on the AngleTron while smoke fills the entrance stage. Then, the crescendo hits, and a HUGE burst of pyro explodes over the entrance stage. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. [i]*No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)*[/i] COLE I am quickly becoming sick of this song. COACH It’s the greatest song ever made. The entrance doors slide open, and Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston come out. The boos get louder. Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston stand still on the entrance stage looking to the ring. Mr. Boricua sneers at the crowd. Rock Hard Brickston just stares at the fans who just last week were cheering for him. Mr. B yells at some fans, grunts, snorts, yells, screams, and cracks his knuckles. He looks at Brickston, the two men nod their head, and then both members of the SJPC begin their walk to the ring as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the main event for this week’s HeldDOWN~!, and is a No Disqualification 2-On-1 Handicap Tables Match! Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Representing the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. At a total combined weight of 515 lbs. The team of MISTER BORICUA AND ROCK HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BRICKSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE A GIANT match for Tha Puerto Rican coming up next, but I can’t blame him if his attention is focused on next week’s HeldDOWN~!, because next week we could see the FINAL match of Tha Puerto Rican’s career as he takes on Spanish Fly in an Ultimate X Match for the OAOAST AngleMania VII World Heavyweight Title shot! COACH Tonight is the beginning of the end. We are now witnessing the ‘PRL Farewell Tour’. It started earlier this evening with the FIRST 2-On-1 Handicap Match, and it continues right now in the main event of HeldDOWN~! And next week, we shall all witness history. The LAST time Tha Puerto Rican wrestles in the OAOAST! I cannot wait! Mr. Boricua grunts at some fans. Rock Hard tells him to calm down and focus on the match at hand. COLE PRL now set to take on Mr. Boricua, the man who has with The Lightning Crew/SJPC the longest, AND the NEWEST member of the Corporation, John…Rock Hard Brickston, who made a deal with the devil last week on HeldDOWN~! COACH Oh that’s rich! Brickston did the right thing! He was going nowhere! He hadn’t done a single thing of importance in almost three years! But he rejoined the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and now look at him! Main eventing on HeldDOWN~! Do you see now that being a member of the SJPC pays off big time? COLE No, but I DO see now that John Brickston has about as much morals, integrity and decency as Spanish Fly does! COACH Oh hush up, you! And it’s Rock Hard Brickston now! No more John! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans, and then climbs up the ring steps, entering the ring via the top ring rope. Rock Hard Brickston follows him. Spotlights shine on both members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Brickston lets out a mighty roar to boos. Rock Hard raises his fists into the air to more boos. So does Mr. Boricua. The two SJPC members stand near the ring ropes. They look at each other…and then do The Corporate Salute! The crowd boos LOUDLY. COLE I never thought I’d see Brickston doing THAT again. COACH That was The Lightning Crew Salute. THIS is The Corporate Salu-- COLE Don’t start. Not this week. Brickston taunts the fans. Mr. Boricua yells at them. Mr. Boricua poses on a second turnbuckle to boos. Brickston also poses on a second turnbuckle to boos. COLE Rock Hard Brickston sold out! He went against everything he believed in to align himself with Popick! Just last week, those two men were beating the hell out of each other, and now this week, they are PARTNERS!? COACH Both men were quick to let the past be the past. It speaks a lot about the quality of their characters! COLE It speaks at how easily led both men are! Popick, the Master Manipulator, exploited Brickston. He used Brickston’s weaknesses against him! He brainwashed Brickston into believing that he was wrong for leaving The Lightning Crew! He brainwashed him into believing that he has a better life being led by Popick! COACH He did no such thing! He told Brickston the truth! He was going nowhere, but now, he is going somewhere! Popick is 100 times the leader PRL was! 1,000 times even! Brickston points a menacing finger at the fans while Mr. Boricua exits the ring and yells at the fans at ringside. Brickston gets off of the second turnbuckle and taunts the fans some more. COLE Well, whether he’s in the Corporation or not, Brickston’s hatred for Tha Puerto Rican hasn’t changed, and he gets another shot at him tonight for the first time in almost two years! COACH Brickston and Mr. Boricua are going to get PRL good and softened up for Spanish Fly next week! COLE They just might. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was one of Popick’s orders! The lights go back on in the arena. Rock Hard Brickston paces inside of the ring, while Mr. Boricua continues yelling at the fans at ringside. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE Tha Puerto Rican already competed in a 2-On-1 Handicap Match earlier tonight, and now he must do it again! COACH And next week is the death blow. And on Valentine’s Day too! How appropriate! COLE Popick says that is his Valentine’s Day gift to his new wife. The end of his wife’s ex-fiancée’s career! COACH What a thoughtful husband Popick is. I wish he was my husband…did I say that out loud? COLE Yep, in front of the whole entire world. COACH I LOVE TITTIES! COLE It’s too late, Coach. Rock Hard Brickston stares at the entrance. Mr. Boricua enters the ring. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of PRL’s entrance. COLE 2-On-1 Handicap Tables Match! And Tha Puerto Rican hasn’t been in a Tables Match since Licensed To Pin back in July 2003! COACH He lost then, and he’ll lose now, and he will LOSE next week too! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! COLE Remember, in order for PRL to win, he must put BOTH Brickston AND Boricua through tables! Meanwhile, for Brickston and Boricua to win, they must only put PRL through a table! COACH The ball is in the Corporation’s court, and Tha Puerto Rican is going to choke. AGAIN! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” [i]*DUN DUN*[/i] “…IS…” [i]*DUN*[/i] “…HERE!” A lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” blares out over the P.A. system. The crowd stands up as one and cheers loudly as the lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and stops on the entrance stage. The cheers get louder. PRL points a menacing finger at the two Corporation members inside of the ring, and then power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. One-half of The Badd Boyz. He is THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE Could this be the second-to-last time that we see Tha Puerto Rican come down the entrance ramp on HeldDOWN~!? COACH Yes. Yes it is. Rock Hard Brickston charges forward for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL nails Brickston with Rock-style punches to the temple on the entrance ramp! COLE PRL starting this match early! Here we go! *DING DING DING* [b]2-ON-1 HANDICAP TABLES MATCH THA PUERTO RICAN vs. MR. BORICUA AND ROCK HARD BRICKSTON[/b] PRL nails Brickston with left jab after left jab after left jab! Mr. Boricua charges…and he gets nailed with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Then another! Then another! PRL grabs both of Rock Hard Brickston’s legs and trips him up. Brickston's head lands on the entrance ramp! PRL then spreads Brickston’s legs apart, and punches him right in the groin! COLE No Disqualifications! Anything goes in this match! P.R. grabs Mr. Boricua and drags him over near Sofa Central. COLE They’re coming this way! COACH Come on Mr. Boricua! Wake up! Stay focused! FOCUSED! The crowd is hot. PRL slams Mr. Boricua’s head on top of the timekeeper’s table! Brickston charges forward with his hands locked together for a double axehandle--PRL moves out of the way and punches Rock Hard in the gut! He then fires off with more punches and then slams Brickston’s head on top of the timekeeper’s table too! P.R. grabs Brickston by his head, grabs Mr. Boricua by his head…DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! COACH Oh no! COLE And PRL, despite fighting 2 men, has been able to stand on his own two feet thus far! COACH We’re just getting started, Cole! Hang on! P.R. grabs the ring bell and the hammer used on the ring bell. He waits for Brickston to get near him. *DING!* PRL places the ring bell over Rock Hard Brickston’s face, and then slams the hammer onto the bell! COLE His bell was rung! COACH Ugh! PR taunts Brickston, and then waits for Mr. Boricua to get near him. *DING!* PRL places the ring bell over Mr. Boricua’s face, and then slams the hammer onto the bell! COACH Mr. Boricua! PRL (singing) # Bells will be ringinggg! # COLE Ha! Ha! COACH Shut up! This is not funny! NOT FUNNY AT ALL! Tha Puerto Rican shoves the timekeeper out of his steel chair, and then grabs it. He folds the chair up. PRL measures both Corporation members up. *WHACK!* PRL SLAMS THE STEEL CHAIR OVER ROCK HARD BRICKSTON’S HEAD SENDING HIM INTO A BARRICADE! COLE Chairshot for Rock Hard! *WHACK!* PRL SLAMS THE STEEL CHAIR OVER MR. BORICUA’S HEAD SENDING HIM INTO A BARRICADE! COLE Chairshot for The Corporate Giant! PRL throws the steel chair aside, taunts the dazed Mr. Boricua, and then charges forward, leaping up with a flying clothesline that takes both PRL AND Mr. Boricua OVER the barricade and into the crowd! COACH AAH! PRL gets up first, takes a deep breath, and then picks Mr. Boricua up. He punches him in the face with a Rock-style punch. He does it again! And again! And again! And again! PRL grabs Mr. Boricua and takes him through the crowd, punching him along the way. COLE And now PRL and Mr. Boricua going through the crowd! Shades of Anglepalooza and the Lethal Rumble when PRL brawled with Vitamin X all over the crowd! The fans touch PRL’s bare back and Mr. Boricua’s torn up dress shirt as the two men go through the crowd. P.R. grabs a cup of soda from a fan, drinks from it, and then SPITS the soda back out into Mr. Boricua’s face! He then slams the cup into Mr. Boricua’s head! PRL grabs Mr. Boricua by his giant head again and takes him through the crowd some more. COACH Get Mr. Boricua away from those peons! He’ll crush them! You don’t want us to get sued do you!? PRL continues taking Mr. Boricua through the crowd…suddenly, Rock Hard Brickston grabs PRL and starts punching him in the face! COACH Yeah! Get him! Brickston nails PRL with several right hands! PRL fights back with lefts! Back and forth they go! COLE Rock Hard coming to the aid of his partner! COACH Yea Rock Hard! Make the Corporation proud! Brickston soon gains the advantage with rights, which take The People’s Champion near the barricade. PRL is dazed, so Brickston takes a few steps back and charges forward. PRL recovers, giving Rock Hard Brickston a BAAAAAAACK Body Drop over the barricade, taking him back to the ringside area! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican just sent 6’6” 215 pounds of Rock Hard Brickston over the barricade! COACH Oh no! Puerto Rican grabs Mr. Boricua and sends him over the barricade and back into the ringside area too! COLE PRL in control of his two former running buddies! COACH Rock Hard Brickston was smart enough to see through PRL’s bull three years before everyone else did! COLE That doesn’t speak too highly of Mr. Boricua, Coach! COACH …Nice Boricua! Good Boricua! Popick rules! Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston start to slowly get up. PRL hops over the barricade back to the ringside area. He waits for Rock Hard Brickston to get up, and then clotheslines him back down onto the protective mats! PRL then gets a head full of steam and jumps up to nail Mr. Boricua with a clothesline that knocks *him* down onto the protective mats! PRL shoots right back up and plays to the crowd. He “smells the electricity” while the crowd cheers. COLE Tha Puerto Rican in control of the Corporation, and this crowd is loving it! COACH The People’s Champion my ass! The camera cuts to the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, and Cuban Wall are watching the match as it happens on a T.V. Popick has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying next to him on the sofa, and Lindsay has the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt lying next to her on the sofa also. The five Corporation members watch the match with serious expressions on their faces. COLE And there are some of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! They are most certainly paying attention to this match! COACH Don’t worry, Popick! Next week it’ll all be over! Next week your enemy is GONE! COLE That is if Spanish Fly can grab the contract in the Ultimate X Match next Thursday night! COACH He will. I believe in him and so does Popick! And that’s all that matters! Rock Hard Brickston and PRL head back into the ring. P.R. measures Brickston, and then hits him with a left hand! He then does another! And another! PR switches to Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Mr. Boricua enters the ring, grabs PRL from behind, and then lifts him up…Back Suplex! COLE Back Suplex from The Corporate Bodyguard! COACH Yeah! All right! The Corporate Giant with a CORPORATE Back Suplex on the Corporate CHUMP! Mr. Boricua stands up, jumps up and does a simple splash onto Tha Puerto Rican’s body! COLE A big splash from Mr. Boricua! COACH HOO-HAH! COLE … The camera cuts back to the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation dressing room where Lindsay, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, and Cuban Wall all have smiles on their faces. Stephen Joseph, meanwhile, has a serious expression on his face. COLE Popick looking on, with the #1 Contender to his World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII for now sitting a few feet away from him! COACH ‘For now’? Michael, PRL’s career is FINISHED next week! Accept it. Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches him in the face while yelling. Boricua scoops PRL up, holding him up in the air for a few seconds before slamming him back down onto the mat HARD! PRL yelps out in pain! Mr. Boricua then grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s legs and spreads them apart, so that Rock Hard Brickston can drop an elbow onto Tha Puerto Rican’s groin! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Brickston then does a fist drop right onto Tha Puerto Rican’s groin! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Brickston really targeting PRL’s crotch there! COACH Good! Make sure that The P.R. Menace doesn’t have any children! Can you imagine that? Little PRL’s running around, cocking their eyebrows, ‘smelling the electricity’ all of the time, stealing other people’s moves and mannerisms? *Shudder* It’d be a nightmare! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes and charges forward…Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline…PRL ducks the clothesline…bounces off of the opposite ropes…charges forward…jumps up and nails Mr. Boricua with a flying clothesline that DOESN’T take him down this time! P.R. gets up…gets grabbed from behind by Rock Hard Brickston in a Full Nelson, and then gets taken down with a Full Nelson Slam! Afterwards, Rock Hard Brickston gives PRL the “You can’t see me!” hand taunt! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Just think, even if he did that last week, he’d STILL get cheered! COACH Yeah, but he’s not pandering to these idiots anymore! And good thing too! Time to let the REAL Rock Hard Brickston out into the world! Brickston tells Mr. Boricua something. Mr. Boricua yells out for some reason. Brickston tells Boricua to pick PRL up. PRL is now becoming groggy, sucking in wind. Rock Hard Brickston and Mr. Boricua both whip PRL into the ropes. Both men then put their heads down. This proves to be a mistake as Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks, kicks Mr. Boricua right in the face, and then grabs Rock Hard by his head and just slams him down onto the mat! COLE Faceplant for Rock Hard Brickston! PRL waits for Mr. Boricua to get near him. As soon as Mr. Boricua recovers from PRL’s kick to the face, Mr. Boricua heads towards PRL… …right into a DIAMOND CUTTER! COLE Lightning Strike! Lightning Strike from Tha Puerto Rican! That was his finisher when he wrestled in Puerto Rico! COACH And he’ll be going BACK to Puerto Rico next week after he loses the Ultimate X Match! PR takes the time out to applaud himself for his Lightning Strike. The crowd applauds with him. COACH Such an egomaniac. COLE That egomaniac is in control of two of the Corporation’s biggest athletes! COACH This bizarre infatuation that you have with Tha Puerto Rican has got to stop, man! Seriously. It’s really weird and it’s creeping me out! COLE Oh come on! Don’t act like you weren’t riding Tha Puerto Rican’s jock for the past two years! COACH I once was lost but now am found. Was blind, but now I see! COLE Oh please! PRL gets up. Rock Hard Brickston runs towards him. SPINEBUSTER~!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Oh dear God! No! COLE It could be time! It could be time! The crowd is on its collective feet! The electricity flowing through the air! PRL runs his mouth as he walks on over to where Rock Hard Brickston is lying. PRL stands over Rock Hard Brickston…and kicks Brickston’s right arm onto his chest. COLE It could be time! It could be time! COACH Oh no! PRL removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He does some weird hand signals--MR. BORICUA HITS PRL WITH A BIG BOOT!~! COACH HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE Mr. Boricua cut off The Puerto Rico Elbow before it could happen! COACH THANK YOU, MR. BORICUA! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! COLE PRL is down on the mat! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Mr. Boricua’s big boot into Tha Puerto Rican’s face stopping The Puerto Rico Elbow again. We see it from a different angle. COACH Look at that! He NAILED him that time! He just drove his big size 15 foot into Tha Puerto Rican’s puny head! HA! I love it! COLE And I am sure Popick loved it too, watching it from the Corporation dressing room! COACH The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is back in control! CORPORATE Control if you will. COLE Oy vey. Mr. Boricua yells. He snorts, cranks his neck, yells, screams, and cracks his knuckles. Boricua snorts as he climbs over the top ring rope to exit the ring. Mr. B heads on over to lift the ring apron up so that he can search underneath the ring. COLE Uh-oh. It could be tables time! COACH Boricua…GET THE TABLES! Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican while Mr. Boricua searches underneath the ring…and pulls out a table. The crowd boos loudly. Mr. Boricua screams as he looks at the table. COLE And there’s the table. All Boricua and Brickston have to do is put PR through it and they win the match for the SJPC! COACH I’m sure even Mr. Boricua can understand that! COLE He can hear you, Coach. COACH Oh boy. Mr. Boricua grunts and yells as he walks around the ringside area with the table in his hands. Boricua slides the table underneath the bottom ring rope, and then uses the second ring rope to get onto the ring apron. As Rock Hard Brickston chokes PRL with his right foot, Mr. Boricua enters the ring by climbing over the top ring rope. COLE PRL so desperate to get into the AngleMania VII main event that he willingly put his career on the line in a match against Spanish Fly next week. And he might be getting softened up for that match right now as we speak! COACH PRL wants to get another shot at the Title so bad, well, he’s going to have to pay for it now AND next week! Mr. Boricua yells. This gets Rock Hard Brickston’s attention. Brickston stops choking PRL. Mr. Boricua yells for Brickston to do something. Mr. Boricua picks the table up and sets it up right in the middle of the ring. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COACH Here we go! This is going to be sweet! COLE Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston setting up for the finish! All they have to do is send PRL through a table and they win the match! COACH And they will! Come on guys! The table is set up in the middle of the ring. The crowd is anxious, worried for The People’s Champ. PRL is coughing, breathing hard, and sweating. He clutches his throat in pain. Mr. Boricua screams out loud. The crowd boos loudly. COLE This could be it! Rock Hard Brickston picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL is now fatigued. Brickston has an evil smile on his face as he grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s right hand and whips him--NO--PRL reverses, hooks both of Brickston’s arms, and gives him a Double-Armed DDT! COLE Double-Armed DDT on Rock Hard Brickston! PRL quickly gets back to a vertical base. Mr. Boricua charges towards him, but PRL grabs him and hooks him up! He takes Mr. Boricua towards the table. LATIN SLAM THROUGH THE TABLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam! Latin Slam through the table! The Latin Lion giving the 6’9” 300 pound Mr. Boricua a Latin Slam through the table! COACH Oh no! ******************************************* 1ST ELIMINATION: Mr. Boricua TIME OF ELIMINATION: 4:56 ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican ******************************************* COLE PRL has already gotten one man! If he can send Brickston through a table he pulls off the upset! The crowd has come alive! PRL does a Flair Flop onto the mat! Mr. Boricua lies in the wreckage of the table, while Rock Hard Brickston starts to move on the mat. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL’s Latin Slam on Mr. Boricua through the table. It is shown from two different angles. COLE PRL with a big time Latin Slam on the biggest member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, a fact which must not pleased Popick! COACH It doesn’t please ME! COME ON BRICKSTON! It’s all up to you! Make the Corporation proud! Send PRL straight through a table! Another “P.R.!” chant starts up. PR slowly pushes himself off of the mat and onto his knees. He then takes a deep breath, obviously winded now. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead and flicks it at Rock Hard and Mr. Boricua. COACH Eww. PRL has terrible hygiene! PRL has a smile on his face as he stands up straight and exits the ring. COLE Popick is probably biting his fingernails right now! What a boost mentally this would be for Tha Puerto Rican if he were to defeat TWO Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members in a 2-On-1 Handicap Tables Match a week before he puts his career on the line in an Ultimate X Match against ANOTHER SJPC member! PRL walks around ringside, stopping at one corner to lift the ring apron up and search underneath the ring. COACH This isn’t good! This isn’t good at all! COLE The pendulum is swinging the other way, Coach! Tha Puerto Rican is in control of not one, but TWO Corporate members! He might end up defeating FOUR Corporation members in a single night! COACH He’ll choke! He’ll choke like he always does! And he’ll choke next week too, FOR THE LAST TIME! PRL searches some more underneath the ring…and pulls out another table! The crowd cheers loudly. PRL plays to the crowd with the table in his hands. He motions that he is going to “lay the smackdown on some corporate candy asses!” Puerto slides the table underneath the bottom ring rope and then slides underneath the bottom rope himself. PRL then grabs the table and sets it up. COACH Oh God. No! PRL is not gonna win BOTH of his matches tonight! Oh no! COLE PRL seems focused on the task at hand, even though he has a HUGE match coming up next week! COACH The 'PRL Farewell Tour' will continue tonight, Cole! It will! The crowd is rooting P.R. on. P.R. sets the table right in the middle of the ring. Puerto Rican motions that he is going to put Rock Hard Brickston through the table. COLE One more person and Tha Puerto Rican wins! PRL sees Mr. Boricua slide underneath the bottom ring rope and stand on the outside, his eyes glazed over. Rock Hard Brickston also slides underneath the bottom rope and staggers to his feet, holding his head in pain. TPR exits the ring and grabs Brickston--NO--Brickston springs to life and punches PR in the face several times! COACH Yes! Rock Hard’s punches stagger The Latin Lion! Brickston then grabs Puerto by his right hand and then whips him right into the STEEL ring steps! PR’s right shoulder crashes into the ring steps! COLE Oh my! PRL went crashing HARD into those STEEL steps! COACH There you go, Brickston! Do your thing, Rock Hard! Do your thing! Brickston lets out a mighty roar, which pisses off the fans. Brickston lunges at one fan in a “LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN” T-shirt, and then walks on over to pick Tha Puerto Rican up. COLE Rock Hard in control of a man he’s had many battles with in the past! COACH He’s beaten him several times in the past, and he’s going to beat him again tonight! Rock Hard Brickston grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his tights and throws him back into the ring. PRL is breathing hard, and holding his right shoulder in pain. Rock Hard Brickston enters the ring through the first and second ring ropes and then starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE PRL is in a bad way here! Rock Hard Brickston gets on top of PRL and starts pummeling away at him, the table set up 3 feet away from the both of them! P.R. tries desperately to block the shots with his hands, but is unable to. Brickston stands up and yells at the crowd. ROCK HARD BRICKSTON LOOK AT YOUR HERO NOW! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Rock Hard Brickston turning his back on the fans last week to rejoin the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH He didn’t turn his back on the fans. The fans turned their backs on him! COLE Oh come on! That’s a load of bullcrap! COACH No, it’s the truth! It’s the truth, Ruth! Ugh, I’m never going to say THAT again! Brickston pounds PRL some more, and then picks him up. Rock Hard Brickston grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right hand and delivers an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--NO--PRL reverses…he holds on…and hooks Brickston up! COLE Here we go! The second elimination! COACH No! No! No! PRL has Brickston hooked up and takes him towards the table. LATIN SLA-- *WHACK!* MR. BORICUA HITS THA PUERTO RICAN IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR! COACH YEAH BORICUA! COLE Mr. Boricua comes in just in the nick of time! COACH WAY TO GO BORICUA! WAY TO GO! Mr. Boricua throws the steel chair aside. Tha Puerto Rican is still holding on to Rock Hard Brickston, but his grip has loosened. So, Rock Hard Brickston shoves Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes…Rock Hard Brickston grabs him…and lifts him up… MR. BORICUA DOES A DIAMOND CUTTER ON THA PUERTO RICAN THROUGH THE TABLE WHILE ROCK HARD BRICKSTON HOLDS ONTO PRL‘S WAIST~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE 3-D! A Dudley Death Drop on Tha Puerto Rican through the table! COACH YEAH-UH~! *DING DING DING* (6:55) ******************************************* FINAL ELIMINATION: Tha Puerto Rican TIME OF ELIMINATION: 6:55 ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston ******************************************* ******************************************* [b]TEH WINNORS~![/b] : Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston ELIMINATED: Tha Puerto Rican ******************************************* “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts up again. Rock Hard Brickston pumps his fists in celebration while Mr. Boricua yells out and raises his hands in victory. The crowd boos loudly. BUFFER Here are your winners…the team of MISTER BORICUA AND ROCK HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BRICKSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican lies in the wreckage of the table, holding his stomach in pain. Mr. Boricua yells out once again, while Rock Hard Brickston raises his hands in victory. COLE It was within the rules, that being there are no rules! So, Mr. Boricua took that to his advantage using that steel chair to set up the 3-D, the Dudley Death Drop, and sealed the victory for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH EXCELLENT work from the Corporation! PRL went down and OUT! And it’s only going to get WORSE from here on out! Next week, next week Michael Cole, is the execution! The camera cuts to the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey and Cuban Wall all applaud Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston for their victory. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Way to go, guys! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK *Whistles* VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! PRINCESS STACEY Excellent job! CUBAN WALL YES! POPICK Oh, look at P.R.! Look at him! He looks hurt! The poor guy looks hurt! LINDSAY Awww! Poor baby! POPICK You think we should go help him? LINDSAY Nah! He hasn’t suffered enough! POPICK Yeah, we’ll help him…tomorrow! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The five Corporation members laugh uproariously at PRL’s misery. COLE The Corporation celebrating P.R.’s loss tonight! COACH And they’ll have even more reason to celebrate next week when Tha Puerto Rican LEAVES the OAOAST FOREVER! COLE That is in 7 days, Coach! But is this an omen? Is this a sign of things to come? Will Tha Puerto Rican be looking up at the ceiling watching Spanish Fly grab the contract to win the Ultimate X Match next Thursday night causing the end of his career? Or will PRL be able to recover from this loss and get the AngleMania title shot? COACH He choked tonight, and he’s going to choke again next Thursday night! And this time his choking will cost him his very career! Good riddance! “No Chance In Hell” continues playing as Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston continue celebrating inside of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican is still down on the mat, holding his stomach in pain. Mr. Boricua and Brickston see Tha Puerto Rican down on the mat…and then start stomping on him! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Now come on! That’s enough! The match is already over! COACH But the fun is just getting started! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston stomp on Tha Puerto Rican until he is in the fetal position. The crowd boos loudly. “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” COLE The fans want the other Badd Boy to come to the rescue! COACH He is not going to come! He’s too scared to come and fight Brickston AND Mr. Boricua! Brickston and Boricua pummel Tha Puerto Rican with their feet. The crowd chants for Colombian Heat to come out. The chanting stops and turns to cheers because COLOMBIAN HEAT runs down the entrance ramp! COLE Here comes Heat to the rescue! Colombian Heat slides into the ring! Mr. Boricua goes to attack, and gets hit in the head with a lead pipe! COACH Hey! COLE Heat has come equipped! He came prepared! As Mr. Boricua holds his head in pain, Colombian Heat slams the lead pipe across Rock Hard Brickston’s midsection! Heat then drops the lead pipe and starts punching Rock Hard in the face to the delight of the fans! COLE Heat going to work on Rock Hard Brickston! Heat will meet Popick for the World Heavyweight Title on the Leap Year Spectacular! COACH He’s going to choke just like his buddies did! He’s going to choke just like The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican did! Colombian Heat has Brickston good and dazed. He then kicks him in the stomach, turns around, grabs Brickston’s arms, and then-- SPANISH FLY LEAPS OFF OF THE TOP ROPE WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT!!!!!!!!! COLE No! Damnit! Damnit! COACH Hooray for Spanish Fly! COLE That damn Spanish Fly, attacking Colombian Heat AGAIN! COACH Hey, he deserved it! Attacking SJPC members with a lead pipe! How dare he!? Spanish Fly gets up and starts stomping on Colombian Heat! Rock Hard Brickston shakes the cobwebs out and joins in on the beatdown! The crowd boos loudly. COLE The two corporate sellouts beating up on Colombian Heat! COACH He’s the only former Lightning Crew member who hasn’t rejoined! COLE And I think he wants it to stay that way! Spanish Fly gets on top of Heat and punches him in the face repeatedly. Fly taunts his former best friend while Brickston stands guard over Fly. COLE The hopes of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation rests on Spanish Fly’s shoulders next week! It is up to Fly to make sure that Tha Puerto Rican never wrestles in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ever again! COACH And he’s going to do it! I believe in you, Fly! Everyone thinks Spanish Fly doesn’t stand a chance of beating Tha Puerto Rican, but then everyone thought that the New York Giants didn’t stand a chance of beating the New England Patriots, and look what happened! We are going to see the CORPROATE upset next week LIVE on HeldDOWN~! Spanish Fly chokes Colombian Heat while Rock Hard Brickston taunts him. The boos get even louder (as if that were possible) when Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, and Cuban Wall walk down the entrance ramp. COLE Oh now what!? COACH THE CHAMP IS HERE! COLE Shut up! Popick has an evil grin on his face as he walks up the ring steps. Vitamin X follows him, while Cuban Wall grabs the second ring rope to get onto the ring apron and enter the ring over the top ring rope. Popick looks down at PRL and laughs evilly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is down, beaten, and Stephen Joseph Popick loves it! COACH He should. But he’ll love it even more when Tha Puerto Rican is down, beaten and RETIRED next week! Popick motions for PRL to be picked up. Rock Hard Brickston and Cuban Wall do so. Tha Puerto Rican is groggy, his eyes glazed over. The crowd chants for The Great One, but the chants don’t work as Vitamin X grabs the lead pipe dropped by Colombian Heat and hits PRL right in the ribs with it! COLE A shot to the ribs with that lead pipe! COACH Yes! I love it! X throws the lead pipe to Popick. Popick almost drops it, but regains it quickly. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion measures up Tha Puerto Rican, who is still being held by Brickston and Wall. *PING!* *PING!* *PING!* *PING!* *PING!* *PING!* Pipe shots all over Tha Puerto Rican’s body, the last one hitting PRL over the head! COLE The OAOAST World Champion demolishing his former client right now! PRL falls to the mat! His eyes are closed. Popick laughs at PR’s misery. The crowd boos loudly. Spanish Fly continues beating on Colombian Heat. Popick poses to nothing but jeers and insults. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X chuckle at the booing. COACH PRL might forfeit the match next week and retire right now after what he’s just gone through! COLE He won’t! He has too much pride! Too much ego to just forfeit! Even if he shows up with his ribs taped, with a concussion, feeling sore all over his body, he WILL compete next week in that Ultimate X Match! THAT is how much the AngleMania World Title shot means to him! COACH Well, he’s just making it even EASIER for Spanish Fly to beat him next week! COLE You may be right. As if he wasn’t in enough pain, Popick is softening him up further right now! POPICK Yo, Wall! Popick gives Wall a thumbs up. Cuban Wall nods his head. Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his hair and picks him up. As he does this, Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua pick Colombian Heat up. *PING!* SPANISH FLY NAILS COLOMBIAN HEAT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE LEAD PIPE! COACH Way to go, little buddy! Spanish Fly sticks his tongue out and does a SHIMMY~!, mocking Heat! The crowd boos. COLE Spanish Fly just used that lead pipe on the head of Colombian Heat! COACH That brought back some memories, didn’t it, Heat? COLE That’s right! Popick hit Colombian Heat in the back of the head with a lead pipe the night the P.R./Popick alliance was formed! But that was then, this is now, and NOW, Colombian Heat AND Tha Puerto Rican are at the mercy of Stephen Joseph Popick! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, and a small cut appears on his forehead. Blood slowly starts dripping out from the cut on the unconscious Colombian Heat’s face. COLE Oh, he’s bleeding. He’s bleeding now! COACH Good. And believe it or not, we’re STILL not done yet! Cuban Wall has got a GOOZLE~! around PRL’s throat. Popick gives him the thumbs up. With Mr. Boricua, Popick, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Rock Hard Brickston watching, Cuban Wall grabs PRL by the waistband of his tights and then lifts him up high into the air. COLE Look at that power! COACH Tremendous! Cuban Wall holds PRL up in the air…and then slams him back down to earth with a CHOKESLAM!!!!!! COLE Chokeslam! A Chokeslam on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH I LOVE IT! The SJPC members celebrate Cuban Wall’s Chokeslam. PRL lies knocked out on the mat. Colombian Heat is still bleeding. COLE How many times have we seen this? How many times over the past couple of years have we seen this done to Tha Puerto Rican’s enemies? Now it is being done to Tha Puerto Rican himself! COACH It is karma coming back to bite PRL in the ass! That’s what it is! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is orchestrating this decimation of Tha Puerto Rican one week before he puts his career on the line in an Ultimate X Match! Popick tells PRL something and then tells Cuban Wall something. He motions for something to be given to him. Cuban Wall smiles evilly. Wall and Boricua pick Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL can barely stand up now. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall, both with evil smiles on their faces, shove PRL directly into Popick’s waiting hands! COLE What’s this!? Popick turns PRL around and applies a Full Nelson on him. The crowd immediately figures out what Popick is going to do and starts booing. Popick takes PRL over to a turnbuckle corner. COLE Oh no. Don’t tell me. Popick climbs the second rope. COACH No way! In street clothes!? Popick stands on the second turnbuckle. Popick jumps out, pulling Tha Puerto Rican over in a Full Nelson Suplex, but shifting his body so that he lands on his ass, giving PRL a Stone Cold Stunner in the process! Finality! COLE Finality! Finality on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He’s doing it now because he’s not going to be able to do it at AngleMania VII! HA! HA! HA! Tha Puerto Rican drops onto the mat, spread-eagle. Popick dusts his hands, an evil grin on his face, a job well done. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick has once again made Tha Puerto Rican’s life a living hell! COACH Not just Tha Puerto Rican, but Colombian Heat too! Popick orders for someone to help him up. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall help their leader to his feet. Popick dusts himself off, Vitamin X helping him dust himself off. Popick tells X something and then the two of them laugh. COACH This is a scene that I’ll never forget! I love it! I love it so much! Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Rock Hard Brickston and Spanish Fly all raise their hands and smile evilly. Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat spread-eagle, while Colombian Heat lies on the mat, his face bloodied, unconscious. Garbage gets thrown into the ring. The crowd boos loudly. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation has left The Badd Boyz laying! COACH And it’s only going to get WORST for them from here on out! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing again. Garbage continues getting thrown into the ring. Stephen Joseph Popick tells his Corporation that it’s time to leave. Vitamin X holds the first and second ring ropes open for Popick to leave the ring, and then follows him. Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston all leave the ring, leaving The Badd Boyz to wallow away in pain on the mat. COLE The SJPC has come out strong tonight! But will they come out strong next week in the Ultimate X Match? COACH They will. I can feel it! Next week one annoying bug is squashed, and then the second one will get squashed on the Leap Year Spectacular! And then, THEN, we can have Cuban Wall vs. Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII in peace! COLE That's what Popick wants. That’s what Cuban Wall wants. But that’s not what these people want, and that’s DAMN SURE not what Tha Puerto Rican wants! COACH The people and PRL can do two things: nothing or LIKE IT! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members walk up the entrance ramp, all smiling evilly, gloating over what they’ve just done. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Tha Puerto Rican is moving his arms around on the mat. COLE The Corporation with a HUGE victory tonight! PRL LOST the 2-On-1 Handicap Tables Match! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the 2-On-1 Handicap Tables Match starting with Tha Puerto Rican about to do the Latin Slam on Rock Hard Brickston. COACH Okay so, PRL was going to do his stupid Rock Bottom--I mean Latin Slam, on Brickston. But then look at this…BAM! Chairshot to the back from Mr. Boricua! But what’s this? Brickston holds onto PRL. Shoves him into the ropes! 3-D! 3-D! 3-D! Dudley…Death…Drop TRHOUGH the table! PRL is gone! The Corporation wins, and PRL chokes AGAIN! Can we see that again? A replay of the 3-D through the table is shown again from a different angle. COACH Thank you. YEAH! 3-D! 3-D! 3-D! I love it! PRL is OUT COLD! Another replay of the 3-D through the table is shown from another angle. COACH Cool! Thanks! 3-D! 3-D! 3-D! Yes! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! *Another* replay of the 3-D through the table is shown from yet *another* angle. COACH And again! 3-D! 3-D! 3-D! COLE Enough! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey and Cuban Wall watching the ending of the match in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation dressing room. They all applaud and yell out in joy when Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston give Tha Puerto Rican the 3-D through the table. COLE And look at this! The Corporation celebrating when PRL got 3-D’d through the table. COACH Duh. It was their guys doing the 3-Ding! OF COURSE THEY’RE GONNA CELEBRATE, YOU IDIOT! COLE I was hoping they’d feel a little sympathy for their former boss, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how happy they were. COACH If you think they are happy now, just wait until next Thursday night when Tha Puerto Rican is RETIRED thanks to Spanish Fly! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cut back to live action as Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, Spanish Fly and Rock Hard Brickston walk up to the entrance stage. Tha Puerto Rican is on his side, shaking, holding his ribs in pain as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. Colombian Heat is still unconscious and bleeding on the mat. COLE Are we just 7 days away from the end of Tha Puerto Rican’s career? Or are we just 7 days away from Cuban Wall losing his GUARANTEED OAOAST World Championship Match at AngleMania VII? It’s going to be a Valentine’s Day to remember, that’s for sure! COACH For PRL, next week will be HIS St. Valentine’s Day Massacare! And for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, it will be the absolute BEST Valentine’s Day gift that she’s ever gotten! COLE Popick promised Lindsay that the end of Tha Puerto Rican’s career will be his Valentine’s Day gift to her. But for now, Popick and his Corporation have beaten PRL to a pulp! COACH It’s just like Anglepalooza all over again! COLE Uh…not quite. Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston and Mr. Boricua all join hands and raise their hands in victory, posing on the entrance stage with evil smiles on their faces to LOUD boos. Popick puts seven fingers up and says, “Seven days.” Cuban Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he does a cutthroat hand gesture. Spanish Fly points at PRL and says, “You’re mine next week!” before doing a crotch chop. Vitamin X does a Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and says, “IT’S OVAH~!” Rock Hard Brickston laughs maniacally and says some derogatory things about PRL. Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, grunts, cracks his knuckles and growls. Tha Puerto Rican is on his stomach and is staring at the SJPC members. COLE Next week’s HeldDOWN~! will be one for the ages! The first ever Valentine’s Day HeldDOWN~! headlined by the Ultimate X Match between Spanish Fly and Tha Puerto Rican! If Tha Puerto Rican wins, then he goes on to OAOAST AngleMania VII to challenge for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! But if Spanish Fly wins, then Tha Puerto Rican must retire from the sport of professional wrestling! HUGE stakes involve for Tha Puerto Rican AND everyone in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! It’s all or nothing for PRL next week! COACH He’s gonna choke! No way can he do it! He’ll crack under all of the pressure! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is a desperate man! He is desperate to go to AngleMania VII to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title! In an act of desperation he has put his own career on the line for a Title shot! Like the old saying goes, ’Desperate men do desperate things.’ But will PRL pay for his act of desperation next week when he has what could quite possibly be his final match on HeldDOWN~!? The final match of his career? Fans, thank you for tuning into this week’s HeldDOWN~! For Jonathan Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from Mobile, Alabama! We’ll see you next week LIVE from Montreal, Quebec, Canada for St. Valentine’s Day HeldDOWN~! Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston and Mr. Boricua all continue laughing maniacally and smiling evilly on the entrance stage. Colombian Heat lies on the mat, still unconscious, still bloodied. Trash continues getting thrown into the ring, and at the same time, trash gets thrown in the general direction of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation on the entrance stage. Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston and Mr. Boricua all look at Tha Puerto Rican and laugh maniacally and smile evilly. Tha Puerto Rican lies on his stomach in the ring, holding his ribs in pain, staring a hole through the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. His face is shaking, red not with blood, but with RAGE~! The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican’s ANGRY face, his veins bulging and his eyes popping out. Tha Puerto Rican grinding his teeth together and breathing hard while sweat pours down his face is the last image that we see before we fade to black, ending this week’s edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

Okay, since I don't have any takers, I'm cancelling the Colombian Heat OAOAST United States Title defense this week. Instead, I'll just do the 2-On-1 Handicap Match and the OTHER match I said, which by the way, I would like to be the main event please. What is this other match, you ask? Why, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick will tell you what it is during the middle of the show (that's another segment I'm writing by the way)!

I finally got a chance to read the whole thing and it was all AWESOME! I'm too tired to provide detailed feedback, but this was a tremendous Anglepalooza, featuring quite possibly the best Lethal Rumble Match EVER, and no, I'm not just saying that because my guys all lasted to the very end. It truly was spectacular, King Cucaracha did an excellent, EXCELLENT job on it. This, along with last year's Lethal Rumble Match and the 2004 Royal Rumble Match are my favourite Lethal Rumble Matches. A solid thumbs up for him and this whole pay-per-view at large. Everyone brought their "A" game on this show. I loved it all. We keep on getting better and better. Thumbs up everyone. GREAT job! I SO cannot wait for OAOAST AngleMania VII!

Would any heel like to challenge Colombian Heat for the OAOAST United States Championship this week? Please? It's kinda important that he defends the Title this week. REALLY important, in fact. I would like it if that match was the main event for this week's HeldDOWN~!. Also: -Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation promo (I CALL OPENING SEGMENT!) -HANDICAP MATCH Tha Puerto Rican vs. The Bone Thug & Vitamin X -Another match!

That'd be freaking awesome dude!

I didn't get the RAW half of the Monday Night War either.

Let us open the show with this segment, please. Thank you. "THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" COACH Oh yeah! The crowd immediately stands up and starts booing loudly. The opening to "No Chance In Hell" begins playing over the P.A. system. The new Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation entrance video plays on the AngleTron, while smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a HUGE burst of pyro explodes over the entrance stage. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *[i]No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)[/i]* The entrance doors slide open, and every single member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation comes out, each member having a beaming smile on his/her face. Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing his eyeglasses, a white dress shirt, a Rolex watch on his right wrist, his wedding ring on his right ring finger, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, leads the way, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, wearing hoop earrings, a gold necklace, a tight grey and red shirt, gold bracelets on both of her wrists, her wedding ring on her right ring finger, a small black watch on her right wrist, tight black jeans, and black heel boots, walks right next to her husband, the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. Oh, and her hair is in pigtails too. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion, STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND THE STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK CORRRRPOOOORRAAATTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *[i]But will find their place In line But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz it’s just a matter of time Cuz you've got…NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL![/i]* The SJPC members all laugh evilly as they head to the ring. COLE Well, last Sunday night, Cuban Wall shocked the world by winning the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH How did he shock the world? The man is 6'7" 285 pounds for crying out loud! COLE He never was a favorite! He surprised everybody! Last Sunday was Cuban Wall's coming out party! He now has a guaranteed World Title shot coming up on March 30th at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH It is going to be the greatest World Title match of all-time! Cuban Wall vs. Stephen Joseph Popick! That's a Dream Match if I ever saw one! COLE The Title stays in the Corporation either way. COACH I know! Isn't that awesome!? Garbage is thrown in Popick's direction. But Stephen Joseph is still all smiles as he steps aside to let the other Corporation members enter the ring first. *[i]Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) No chance...(Yeah)[/i]* COLE But let's not forget that Stephen Joseph Popick had a huge night at Anglepalooza, becoming the Undisputed OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion by defeating both "After Hours" Felix Strutter AND Colombian Heat to unify the OAOAST International and World Heavyweight Titles! COACH That was HUGE! It was bigger than when the New York Jets won Super Bowl III! Bigger than when Barry Bonds hit #756! Bigger than all of that! Even YOU couldn't believe it! Stephen Joseph Popick is the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion, and Cuban Wall is the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! Stephen Joseph Popick climbs up the ring steps. Lindsay holds the ropes for Popick to enter into the ring. Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head and smiles evilly to a resounding chorus of boos from the thousands in attendance. Popick taunts the fans and laughs maniacally. Spotlights shine on the SJPC members. They all stand in the center of the ring. Together, all nine members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation do The Corporate Salute to LOUD boos! Afterwards, the lights go back on in the arena. Popick shakes Cuban Wall's left hand, congratulating him for winning the Lethal Rumble Match. COLE It was indeed a historic night for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. In front of his hometown fans, Stephen Joseph Popick became the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread Champion, and Cuban Wall outlasted 29 other men to win the Lethal Rumble and earn a Title shot at AngleMania VII! COACH And don't forget, Wall collects the $1 million! COLE That's right. Cuban Wall eliminated Tha Puerto Rican, so Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on him! COACH It's good to see that Vitamin X's money is going to his partner in Brains & Brawn! COLE Somehow, I doubt even THAT is enough to comfort X! Cuban Wall, Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Princess Stacey, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, Spanish Fly, and Mr. Boricua all stand in the ring, taunting the fans, gloating over their accomplishments, and mugging for the camera all the while "No Chance In Hell" continues playing over the P.A. system. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall lift Stephen Joseph Popick onto their shoulders while the rest of the SJPC applauds Popick. This further irritates the crowd. COACH Look at this! Look at this! HA! HA! HA! COLE (disgusted) And look at this. Oh great. Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head while on Wall and Boricua's shoulders. COACH They might pour Gatorade right over his head in a couple of minutes! COLE Tha Puerto Rican was screwed AGAIN out of a victory by Stephen Joseph Popick and his Corporation! COACH Hey now! Listen! Listen! Stephen Joseph Popick told everybody! It shouldn't have been a shock! He said that there was 'NO CHANCE IN HELL' of PRL winning the Lethal Rumble Match, and he was RIGHT! Wall and Boricua put Popick back on his feet on the mat. Vitamin X hands Popick a microphone. Popick grabs the mic and says, "Thank you." to X while nodding his head. VX pounds his chest with his right fist as a sign of respect for his boss. COACH Time for the CHAMP to talk! COLE Guess this'll be a victory speech of some kind? COACH I can't wait! Popick is a master with words! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Stephen Joseph Popick brings the microphone to his lips, a huge wide smile on his face. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all stand in awe of their leader, who has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I'M GOING TO ANGLEMANIA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I came, I saw, I BECAME UNDISPUTED CHAMPION! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" POPICK I thought that the night that I won the World Heavyweight Title for the second time was the greatest night of my life. I thought that the night that I married my lovely wife was the greatest night of my life. But oh no. I was wrong. Last Sunday night at Anglepalooza, was without a doubt, THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH YEAH-UH~! HA! HA! HA! POPICK In front of my hometown fans, my family, my friends, I defeated TWO men, not one, BUT TWO MEN, to make history and become the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the World! And DAMN, did it feel good to do it! To unify the belts! To beat the HELL out of "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Colombian HACK! Oh yes, beating Heat was perhaps better than becoming Undisputed Champion! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The crowd boos lustfully. COACH Yes! Revel in it, Mr. Popick! POPICK (CONT’D) But Colombian Heat wasn't the only enemy of mine to get DEMOLISHED by the SJPC last Sunday night! No, the other half of the so-called 'Badd Boyz' got a CORPORATE ass-kicking last Sunday night at Anglepalooza too! And he got it courtesy of YOUR 2008 Lethal Rumble winner, the 6'7" 285 pound CORPORATE Muscle, CUBAN WALL! The camera focuses on Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly. The other Corporation members applaud Wall. Cuban Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he adjusts his sunglasses. Popick looks on, smiling like a proud papa. COACH Yes! COLE Coach, I still cannot believe it! PRL had it. He had the match won! COACH He choked again! He can’t do it! He can't beat the Corporation no matter how hard he tries! COLE He came within one man of doing so last Sunday! COACH And he failed. Time to move on! Just shut up and clap! POPICK Now, Cuban Wall, you did indeed eliminate Tha Puerto Rican. You made sure that that eyebrow raising egomaniac, you made sure that that overrated catchphrase stealing choke artist primadonna, you made sure that both of his feet touched the floor! And Wall, I have never been more prouder to have you in the Corporation then I am right now! Congratulations my good man! CUBAN WALL Thank you, Boss. It was an honor to eliminate PRL for you! POPICK And just to let you all know, I DID infact give Cuban Wall $1 million IN CASH straight from Vitamin X's bank account last Sunday right after Anglepalooza ended! Don't ever let anybody tell you that Stephen Joseph Popick ain't a man of his word! Vitamin X looks less than pleased knowing that he lost $1 million of his money to his tag team partner. Cuban Wall nods his head and smiles. He says, "It's true! It's true! He did give me the money!" COLE Cuban Wall collected the $1 million bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican. He's got that dirty money now! COACH He's now $1 million richer in addition to being the #1 Contender for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! COLE Things are going Cuban Wall's way now, aren't they? COACH And they'll continue to be go his way all the way until AngleMania! POPICK And Wall, I look forward to facing you for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th! Popick shakes Wall's right hand. Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph smile at each other, evilly. POPICK May the best man win! CUBAN WALL Same to you, Boss! Same to you! POPICK Good. Now last Sunday night was the CORPORATE Anglepalooza. And now next month, we will see the CORPORATE AngleMania! Two of the greatest Superstars in the One And Only AngleSault Thread colliding for the richest prize in our sport in front of over 100,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! The way it should be! The way it WILL be thanks to what happened at Anglepalooza! "ASSS-HOLE!" "ASSS-HOLE!" "ASSS-HOLE!" "ASSS-HOLE!" COACH Look at this. Listen to these people! COLE These fans letting Popick know just how they feel about him! The truth hurts, Coach! COACH Tell them to shut up, Mikey! The SJPC members all glare angrily at the fans. But Popick just smiles. POPICK Not even that chant could bring me down! I am on cloud nine! My career has never been better! OAOAST UNDISPUTED World Heavyweight Champion, married to the HOTTEST, the SEXIEST woman in the whole entire world, in addition to being the GREATEST female athlete of all-time, the OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-POPICK! AND, AND the greatest group of friends a guy could ever have! This ain't no Lightning Crew. THIS is a CORPORATION! MY CORPORATION! THE STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION! And they are all, as well as all of you, in MY world, PLANET POPICK! The crowd boos loudly. Popick chuckles evilly. The crowd continues chanting, "ASS-HOLE!" COLE I think Popick's head has gotten too big. COACH No it hasn't! POPICK Now, PRL. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Popick sneers at this. COLE The man who should be the #1 Contender for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title right about now! COACH Hell no! POPICK PRL, I told you. I told you so. I told you that there was NO CHANCE IN HELL of you winning the Lethal Rumble! Popick smiles. The crowd boos loudly. COACH I love to hear him say that! HA! HA! That is so great! Say it again! POPICK (CONTINUED) And quite frankly, PRL, as far as I am concerned, you will NEVER EVER AGAIN step into the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Because you know what, P.R.? You've simply run out of chances, 'buddy'! COACH Good! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK And you know, P.R., even though you lost the Lethal Rumble Match and lost the chance to compete for the World Heavyweight Title at OAOAST AngleMania VII, you still have SO much to look forward to...oh wait. I guess not! Your future has gone down the drain courtesy of MY husband, the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion, STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK! COACH You tell him, Linds! Lindsay kisses Popick on the lips. He mouths, "I love you!" Lindsay mouths, "I love you!" The crowd boos loudly. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." [i]*DUN DUN*[/i] "...IS..." [i]*DUN*[/i] "...HERE!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH NO! COLE Well, look who finally decided to show up! "Know Your Role 2000" blares over the P.A. system, bringing the crowd to its collective feet! The PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, while the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation turns their heads to the entrance. The entrance doors slide open, and THA PUERTO RICAN steps right onto the entrance stage, to a loud eruption from the crowd. COLE The People's Champion is out here! COACH What's he doing!? He's ruining the moment! COLE He's looking for some justice after what went down at Anglepalooza! COACH He has a hard time letting go of the past, doesn't he? PRL, wearing sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, a gold chain around his neck, an unbuttoned red dress shirt, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, stares at the Corporation who is in the ring ready to fight. P.R. has a microphone in his right hand and a serious expression on his face. COLE Tha Puerto Rican entered at #1 in the Lethal Rumble Match, and came within one man shy of surviving all the way until the very end and going on to AngleMania VII! COACH But he didn't. He choked! The AngleMania VII main event is Popick vs. Cuban Wall! Why can't he just accept that? COLE Because he knows he didn't get eliminated fairly! COACH It's the LETHAL RUMBLE! ANYTHING GOES! COLE But STILL! It's the principle of the thing! COACH You'll go out of your way to defend your guys, you know that? PRL stands staring at his former comrades. He puts the microphone to his lips so "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. COLE I wonder what he has to say! COACH Probably some more bitching. That's what he always does! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" THA PUERTO RICAN Now, before I start, I have one thing to say...congratulations. The crowd boos. The Corporation is confused. COLE Huh? COACH Pardon? Popick has no idea where PRL is going with this. PRL Congratulations, Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. No, Stephen Joseph Popick, not for becoming the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. No, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, not for being the biggest tramp walking Cleveland, Ohio. Lindsay sneers at PRL for this remark. The crowd cheers. COACH Hey! PRL And no, Cuban Wall, not for going on to AngleMania VII. Congratulations to all nine of you for being the single biggest group of ASSHOLES standing in a professional wrestling ring all at the same time! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH HEY! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members sneer and make ANGRY faces at Tha Puerto Rican! COLE He speaks for all of us. COACH Pipe down, you! PRL Now Tha Puerto Rican isn't going to whine. He's not going to bitch. He's not going to moan. He's not going to complain about Cuban Wall throwing him over the top rope and winning the Lethal Rumble. That's what the OLD Puerto Rican would have done. But I'm a new man. There's a NEW PRL in town! And the NEW PRL says that, come hell or high water, Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that he WILL go to OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th and that he WILL become the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd cheers loudly! Popick puts his hands around his throat and pretends to gasp for air, mocking Tha Puerto Rican for "choking" in World Title matches. COLE He has the support of the people! COACH Doesn't matter. He can't do it. POPICK Um, excuse me, Puerto. But this is an A/B conversation, so why don’t you C your way out of it? COACH Good one, Popick! The crowd boos loudly. Popick grins evilly, pleased at his witty remark. POPICK Heh, P.R., in case you don't know, which you probably don't, but this is a celebration we are having for my Corporation's incredible night at Anglepalooza! We already got the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and the #1 Contender in the ring. We don't need to have the ALSO-RAN involved in this celebration! COACH Yeah! He's an also-ran! You tell him, Popick! "ASSS-HOLE!" "ASSS-HOLE!" COACH These idiots again! Popick chuckles. POPICK Look, Tha Puerto Rican is out here for your entertainment, don't talk to him like that! COACH HA! HA! COLE (disgusted) Oh please. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at Popick. Popick chuckles again, so do the SJPC members. POPICK Tell you what, Ed, since you had your chance and blew it...AGAIN...you're going to go back to the very, VERY bottom of the ladder! And perhaps tonight, in...this...very...ring, you'll do me the honor of taking on one of The Meanest Baddest Hombres in El Mundo..."The Wild Chicano"...LOS CONQUISTADOR UNO! COACH Whoa! COLE Oh come on! COACH That's going to be a huge, HUGE challenge for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE <_< STEPHEN JOSEPH P.R., do you understand that? You go one-on-one with Los Conquistador Uno tonight in...this...very...ring. AND THAT'S THE TRUTH, RUTH! THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~!!! The crowd boos. COACH Damn right! COLE Popick trying to keep Tha Puerto Rican as far away from the Title picture as possible! COACH And he's doing a good job at it thus far! VITAMIN X And P.R.L., the only chance you have of going to AngleMania VII...well, actually, there's absolutely NO CHANCE IN HELL THAT YOU WILL EVER GO TO ANGLEMANIA VII! SO DEAL WITH THAT, PEOPLE'S CHUMP! Cuban Wall laughs evilly while Vitamin X gives PRL the McMahon SNEER~! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing over the P.A. system again causing the crowd to boo. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation stare at PRL with evil intentions. PRL stares back. COLE Well, PRL will be in action here tonight, but not against someone he actually wants to fight! PRL set to go one-on-one against...Los Conquistador Uno. COACH Oh boy! I can't wait! That's sure to be a classic! It'll be a tough match for Tha Puerto Rican to win! Los Conquistador Uno is quite the OAOAST Superstar! He is going to give PRL quite the fight! You think PRL is up for the challenge? COLE ... [b]Commercials[/b]

Ok...second segment then?

-Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation promo -PRL match (might have to save a space for this one) -John "Rock Hard" Brickston vs. Mr. Boricua (This too) -And something else (And this also)

Cappa immediately begins slugging it out with The Bone Thug! COLE 4-on-4! The Corporation taking on OAOAST Superstars including Tha Puerto Rican! COACH They're in control! The Corporation is in control! COLE I'm not so sure about that! Everyone pairs off into the four corners, PR taking on Vitamin X, The Mad Cappa taking on The Bone Thug, Thunderkid taking on Spanish Fly, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston taking on Cuban Wall. COLE Only one entrant remaining, and we all know who that is. COACH Yes, The Corporate Giant! Wall rakes Brickston in the eyes, and then goes to help VX with Tha Puerto Rican. Wall uses his CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to bring PRL to his knees. Vitamin X gets his kicks in as well! COACH Brains & Brawn teaming up on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE If Brains & Brawn eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, do they split the money? COACH Vitamin X would gladly allow his friend to have all of the million. It's his money anyway! COLE That doesn't sound like the Vitamin X that I know. Wall and X decide that it's time now to eliminate PRL. The two men pick Tha Puerto Rican off of the canvas and lift his feet off of the mat! The crowd goes nuts! COACH THEY'RE GONNA DO IT! THEY'RE GONNA DO IT! COLE Brains & Brawn dangerously close to eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is struggling to remain inside the ring, holding onto the ropes! But X and Wall keep trying to dump him…that is until The Mad Cappa rushes over and punches both men! Right jab for X! Right jab for Wall! Back and forth Cappa goes, taking on Brains & Brawn as both of Tha Puerto Rican's feet return to the mat! COLE The Mad Cappa saving Tha Puerto Rican there, perhaps returning the favor for PRL helping him win the Corporate Lethal Rumble last Thursday! COACH Or because he wants the money. COLE That's...actually a good point. Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Spit! Punch! PRL battles Cuban Wall, while Cappa handles Vitamin X. The Bone Thug drives in shoulders into Thunderkid in a turnbuckle corner, while Brickston just punches Spanish Fly in another corner. COLE If no Corporate member is eliminated, then Mr. Boricua will give the SJPC the advantage when he enters the ring in just a few seconds! COACH And then, at last, PRL is doomed! Cuban Wall tries his best to dump Tha Puerto Rican as the timer appears on screen. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up one more time, and the #30 entrant, Mr. Boricua slowly walks to the ring. COLE And there he is, #30! The biggest member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Mr. Boricua! COACH If anyone can eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua can! Mr. Boricua enters the ring by climbing over the top ring rope and immediately pummels Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And now, those 9 men that you see in the ring are all that's left in the Lethal Rumble. One of those 9 men is going to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VII on March 30th. For the past three years, the Lethal Rumble winner has gone on to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania, and you better believe that one of those 9 men wants to extend it to a fourth year at AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Sunday March 30th! COACH And there's still the matter of the bounty! Nobody has eliminated PRL yet! Mr. Boricua takes PRL down to a corner. He chokes PRL with his right foot. PRL gasps for air with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Mr. B lets go. Suddenly, Spanish Fly zooms across the ring with a Broncobuster on Tha Puerto Rican! Fly gets off of PRL and does a SHIMMY~! to boos! COLE Spanish Fly mocking Colombian Heat, who failed in his quest to win the Undisputed World Heavyweight Title earlier tonight! COACH And his buddy, PRL is going to fail in his quest to win the Lethal Rumble Match! Just you wait! With PRL slumped in a turnbuckle corner, Mr. Boricua turns his attention to Thunderkid. Boricua punches Thunderkid, who fires back with rights of his own! However, The Corporate Giant headbutts TK five times, knocking him loopy. COLE Try as he might, Thunderkid can't compete with Mr. Boricua! COACH Size DOES matter in the Rumble! After getting TK groggy, Mr. Boricua grabs him by his head and starts running with him towards the ropes, throwing Thunderkid over the top rope and onto the floor HARD! COLE And that's it! Thunderkid is out of the Rumble! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID ENTERED: 27th LEFT: 22nd TIME IN RING: 09:07 ELIMINATED: Alfdogg ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, The Mad Cappa, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Thunderkid is ordered to return to the back, Mr. Boricua picks PRL up. COLE Eight men left standing! And FIVE of them are Corporation members! COACH The odds of a SJPC member winning the Lethal Rumble get greater and greater! COLE And how about this? Each man left in this match is or at one time was a member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH The three rejects in this match never deserved the title of SJPC member. COLE Not even the guy who created the damn group? COACH ...Popick made it better. Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! The Mad Cappa joins in, and PRL and The Mad Cappa take turns punching Cuban Wall to the crowd's delight! COLE Here's an image that we thought that we would never see in LAST year's Lethal Rumble Match! PRL and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP against CUBAN WALL! COACH Oh come on! X, go help your partner! PRL and Cappa take turns punching Wall--and then The Mad Cappa strikes Tha Puerto Rican! COACH So much for that gratitude for last Thursday! COLE Hey, it's the Lethal Rumble! Every man for himself! COACH That's your excuse everytime one of your 'heroes' does something like this! PRL is stunned...but not stunned enough to not strike back, which he does! Cappa fires back! PRL fires back! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! A slugfest erupts between the two longtime rivals, and the crowd approves! COLE SOOOO much history between those two! It's not strange to see them slugging it out! COACH But rather strange to see them team up! The slugfest continues until The Mad Cappa gets a few more shots in a row! The punches take PRL to the ropes, where Cappa proceeds to whip Puerto into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses-- VITAMIN X BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROPS THE MAD CAPPA OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!! COACH YES! COLE Vitamin X with some payback for last Thursday! And The Mad Cappa is GONE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MAD CAPPA ENTERED: 29th LEFT: 23rd TIME IN RING: 05:57 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vitamin X taunts Cappa, who spews some venom of his own. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle in the ring. VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" X goes back to telling Cappa to "scram", laughing the entire time. The Mad Cappa gets up and yells at X, referees holding him back. COLE So the #29 entrant is eliminated, which leaves us with 7 left, with only two of those men not affiliated with the Corporation! COACH The walls are closing in for PRL! He can't take the pressure! COLE What happens if PRL and John Brickston are eliminated? Do the SJPC fight amongst themselves? COACH Of course! A match against Popick is on the line at AngleMania VII! All of those men want the honor to fight their boss for the World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year! But only one can have it, so yeah, they will fight. COLE You know, there are still 63 days left until AngleMania VII. Popick might not even be Champion by then. COACH Hush, young fool! Referees have to force The Mad Cappa to leave the ringside area! Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall double team Tha Puerto Rican while Spanish Fly has his hands full with John "Rock Hard" Brickston. COLE Two enemies of the SJPC left! One old, the other fairly new! COACH Both in deep trouble now! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choke PRL with their bare hands, while Spanish Fly does martial arts kicks all over John Brickston's body...that is until Brickston simply grabs the 4'11" Spanish Fly and shoves him into the turnbuckle so that he can lay into him! COLE And the littlest member of the SJPC getting hammered by the 6'6" 215 pound John Brickston, who is making his OAOAST return tonight! COACH Come on Fly! Fight with all your heart! Fight with all of your heart! I believe in you, little buddy! PRL is still getting choked...until he scratches Cuban Wall's eyes, and then pokes Mr. Boricua in his eyes! Puerto takes a moment to catch his breath, and then grabs Mr. Boricua and starts hammering away at him! COLE And PRL going to work on the biggest man in the SJPC! A man he used to call his bodyguard! PR's punches take Mr. Boricua over to a turnbuckle corner. PR runs to the opposite corner, and then rushes forward with a Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that he's not done yet, and runs over to the opposite turnbuckle corner again, to charge forward with a second Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that STILL isn't enough, so he runs back to the opposite turnbuckle corner, and then comes forward with a THIRD Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! COLE THREE Stinger Splashes! PRL hitting Mr. Boricua with THREE Stinger Splashes to soften up the big man! COACH Come on Boricua! Remember! $1 million! Lots of green paper! You like green paper don't you, Boricua? The ones with the dead presidents on them? Yeah, those are sweet, aren't they Mr. Boricua? And if you eliminate PRL, you get a MILLION of them! Isn't that great? COLE You are talking to him like a baby, Coach! COACH I'm talking up to him! Not talking DOWN! You know Boricua is not all there! COLE Oh come on! Seeing Mr. Boricua groggy, PRL turns his attention to Spanish Fly. Except, that since Spanish Fly is already being taken care of by John Brickston, he has a hard time doing so. Even worse when Brickston turns around and nails Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Like there's a shocker. Brickston quit The Lightning Crew in April of 2004! COACH That was The Lightning Crew! THIS is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There's a difference! COLE What's the difference other than those mindless flunkies following a different egomaniac? COACH Uh...new T-shirts? Brickston turns all of his attention to Tha Puerto Rican, nailing "The People's Champion" with numerous rights to the head. The crowd responds overwhelmingly with boos at this. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston's first, and to date, ONLY title reign in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ended at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican when PRL defeated Brickston to capture, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship at The Great Angle Bash back in June 2005! We have not seen much of Brickston since that time, so what a career boost it would be for him if he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, get the $1 million bounty, and then win the Lethal Rumble and go on to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII! COACH Now that you mentioned it...COME ON BRICKSTON! ELIMINATE YOUR FORMER LEADER! SHOW HIM THAT THE STUDENT IS BETTER THAN THE MASTER! Brickston continues pummeling Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall tries to help, only to get a punch in return! Brickston goes back to punching PRL. Wall tries to punch PRL, only to get punched by Brickston again! This causes the crowd to cheer Brickston. Brickston punches PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall! COACH Stop! Stop! Stop it! Focus on PR! FOCUS ON PR! COLE John Brickston in control of Tha Puerto Rican AND Cuban Wall, showing us why he was the OAOAST Italian Champion in the spring of 2005! COACH You HATE PRL, remember!? Get him! GET HIM! Brickston backs himself into a corner, still punching P.R. and Cuban Wall. Unfortunately, it's the corner Spanish Fly is currently resting in, so the SJPC's newest member hops onto Brickston's back with a Sleeperhold! COLE Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold on John Brickston! COACH He's doing it! Fly is doing it! John Brickston flails his arms around, trying desperately to get the Corporate Turncoat off of his back! But Cuban Wall takes the opportunity to kick Brickston several times in the midsection! PRL shakes the cobwebs out, not noticing what is going on a few feet from him. COLE And the Corporation once again using the numbers game to get their man! COACH And Spanish Fly is showing us how big of a heart he‘s got! COLE It’s a BLACK heart though, after what he did to Colombian Heat! COACH How dare you, you RAYCIST~! Cuban Wall continues kicking Brickston in the stomach. Spanish Fly gets off of Brickston's back, ending the Sleeperhold. Brickston is doubled over, so Cuban Wall positions him on the ring ropes and grabs his left foot. The Bone Thug comes in and grabs John's right foot. Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join in, and together, the five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members lift John "Rock Hard" Brickston's feet up off of the mat, sending them up into the air...and over the top rope, onto the floor! COACH They did it! John Brickston quickly recovers and slaps the ring apron in frustration! He points a menacing finger at the Corporation members, who all respond with evil smiles and taunts. The crowd boos loudly. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston is gone! We are down to six! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOHN BRICKSTON ENTERED: 25th LEFT: 24th TIME IN RING: 15:32 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Brickston tries to go back into the ring, but referees and security pull him back down onto the ground! COLE Things are getting a little chaotic here! John Brickston wants to go back into the ring! COACH What a sore loser! COLE He DID get eliminated by four of his arch-rivals and a guy he used to call his friend! COACH So? It's the Lethal Rumble! You lost, Brickston! Time to go back to obscurity! Spanish Fly taunts the fans and does a SHIMMY~! just to be a dick. PRL is resting on the ring ropes and is watching referees and security having to carry out John "Rock Hard" Brickston, who issues threats to the SJPC as he's being taken away. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston will NOT be challenging for the World Heavyweight Title this year at AngleMania, but one of those six men will! COACH Make that FIVE men, Cole. COLE He hasn't been eliminated yet, Coach. COACH He will be. Popick said that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that PRL will win the Lethal Rumble! COLE Popick ain't Nostradamus! COACH But he is our UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COLE That I'll give you. Vitamin X waves bye to John Brickston, who yells as he is taken to the entrance. JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON YOU'RE MINE! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD! GET OFF ME! YOU'RE MINE! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU REAL SOON! GET OFF ME! COACH You lost, you big baby! COLE You wouldn't say that right in front of him, would you? COACH Of course not! Referees and security guards finally take John "Rock Hard" Brickston through the curtains. PRL watches him leave. COLE And so it has come to this. And wouldn't you know it. Every member of the SJPC in the Rumble has stayed through to the end. COACH It's appropriate that a member of the SJPC get to be the one to crush PRL's AngleMania dreams! COLE Hey, Popick can give the money to someone in the family! COACH Correct! Not that they need it. Popick pays them well. The 5 members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation all smile evilly, feeling that the end is near for Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua all head to a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican turns around and sees them all staring at him. The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE And here we go. It's PRL vs. the Corporation. He is all by his lonesome. No Colombian Heat here to watch his back! He is a man on his own, 5-against-1! COACH It is all going along perfectly! Popick is the undisputed Champ, and he will face someone from the Corporation at AngleMania VII! It's beautiful! COLE This is a situation PRL's enemies are SO used to. The Lightning Crew-cum-Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation working together, using the numbers game to gain the advantage. They have done so tonight, in the Lethal Rumble Match, and ironically, their last target is the man who led them for over FOUR years! COACH Instant karma's gonna get you, huh, P.R.? The crowd gets more amped up by the second. Tha Puerto Rican stands in the opposite corner staring at his former running buddies. Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Cuban Wall all have cocky smirks on their faces. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug just stare at PRL with serious expressions on their faces. VX mouths, "No chance!" Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and chuckles. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts and cracks his knuckles. He also yells and screams. The Bone Thug does the cutthroat hand gesture. Spanish Fly sticks out his tongue and does a CROTCH CHOP~!. Through it all, Tha Puerto Rican just stares at the SJPC, never once changing his serious facial expression. COLE Either Tha Puerto Rican pulls off the upset, or a Corporation member is going to AngleMania. COACH The safe bet is to bet CORPORATE! COLE What could be going through the mind of Tha Puerto Rican right now? COACH Probably, (in an annoying high-pitched voice): 'I should have been a better leader for these guys!' 'I should have won the World Title when I had the chance!' 'I should have satisfied my girlfriend in bed better!' COLE Oh will you stop!? The Corporation members get into a huddle as PRL stares at them. COLE He is outnumbered 5-to-1. All of these men at one time allies, friends. If this was January of 2004, 2005, 2006 or 2007, you can bet those 5 guys would have Tha Puerto Rican's back. Well, maybe not Spanish Fly. Anyway, it is January of 2008, and in January of 2008, Tha Puerto Rican is public enemy #1 for those 5 men! COACH Turn out the lights, the party's over! COLE A huddle is going on. Perhaps some last minute strategy for the Corporation members. The fans are standing here in the Phillips Arena. A trip to AngleMania VII with a World Title shot is on the line. One of these six men is going to fight the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whomever he may be, at OAOAST AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California on Sunday March 30, 2008! COACH Let's do this! He's in trouble now! The SJPC members all high five each other. They turn their attention back to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is still serious. The SJPC members all have evil grins on their faces. PRL puts his right hand out...and tells them to THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT! COLE He's ready! He's ready! He wants to get it on! He wants to get it on right here, right now! COACH Let him have his moment, he's done in a few seconds anyway! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pat The Bone Thug on the back. He then charges forward, and starts punching Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The Bone Thug going to work on Tha Puerto Rican! And it looks like they're doing this one at a time! COACH No! They want the cousin to have the honor of eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! $1 million for eliminating your own cousin. I'd hit my grandma over the head with a steel chair for $1 million! COLE That's nice. The Bone Thug takes PRL to the corner he was standing in and kicks him in the midsection repeatedly! COACH Come on Bone Thug! Get 'im! Come on Bone Thug! Get 'im! Bone Thug runs over to where the SJPC are standing, and then charges forward...Turnbuckle Yakuza Kick onto Tha Puerto Rican's head! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH He's got him! He's got him now! The Bone Thug nods his head at the other Corporation members, and then grabs PRL and takes him over to the ring ropes where he tries to dump him! COLE PR is in trouble now! COACH Look at The Bone Thug! Not even in the OAOAST for a full year and already in the final six in a Lethal Rumble Match! COLE He has come a long way since he debuted back in February 2007 on OAOAST Syndicated! And he now may be moments away from eliminating his own blood relative! COACH Yes! PR hits The Bone Thug with a back elbow! He then does it again! And again! The Bone Thug lets go of PRL's body, and PRL is back on the mat. The Bone Thug goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PR fires off with a punch! Then another! Then another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Uh-oh. The Bone Thug falls to the mat following that last punch, but gets right back up. And PRL is ready, with another punch knocking The Bone Thug back down! Bone Thug is up again, so PRL punches him down again! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! COACH BONE THUG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Tha Puerto Rican grabs The Bone Thug by his right hand, and then gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. P.R. follows The Bone Thug as he heads into the opposite ropes, and then hits The Bone Thug with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and onto the floor! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh no! COLE PRL eliminates his own cousin! There goes The Bone Thug! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE BONE THUG ENTERED: 24th LEFT: 25th TIME IN RING: 17:57 ELIMINATED: John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE An impressive showing from The Bone Thug in his Lethal Rumble debut, but it was not to be this year! COACH There are still four guys left! You can do this! You can do this! COLE Four Corporate members against Tha Puerto Rican! The Bone Thug's elimination causes much concern for the Corporation members. So Spanish Fly charges forward...and gets knocked down with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Vitamin X charges forward, PRL ducks the clothesline, and attacks Mr. Boricua! Once he gets him good and dazed, PRL charges forward and ducks another Vitamin X clothesline, and then follows that by bouncing off of the ropes and hitting X with a flying clothesline taking him down! COLE Down goes The X-Man! COACH Oh come on! Focus! Focus! Focus! Mr. Boricua comes back grabbing PRL and choking him on the ring ropes! COACH Yes! Yes! You got him! You got him now! HA! HA! HA! Boricua whips PRL into a turnbuckle corner. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! The crowd starts panicking! COACH DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Mr. Boricua charges with a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline! Mr. Boricua is confused as to why PRL wasn't hit with his MASSIVE clothesline, but PRL calls out Mr. Boricua's name...and then pokes Mr. Boricua in the eyes! COACH Hey! PRL climbs through the ropes back into the ring and grabs Mr. Boricua to start hammering away at him! One Rock-style punch to the temple after another gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed. Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Mr. Boricua is now on spaghetti legs, so Tha Puerto Rican takes a few steps back...Vitamin X tries to attack and gets knocked down with a punch! PRL takes a step back... COACH Look out Mr. Boricua! Look out! PRL "tunes up the band"...and then hits Mr. Boricua with the Sweet Chin Music! COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Mr. Boricua! Mr. Boricua stumbles, but he does not fall! So Tha Puerto Rican takes a step back..."tunes up the band" again...and then hits Boricua with a second Sweet Chin Music that causes Mr. Boricua to tumble over the top rope and onto the floor! At this, Vitamin X screams, "NO!" COLE ANOTHER Sweet Chin Music! COACH Boricua! No! No! Oh God no! COLE And Mr. Boricua is out of here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MR. BORICUA ENTERED: 30th LEFT: 26th TIME IN RING: 04:37 ELIMINATED: Thunderkid, John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican FINAL FOUR: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are now down to the Final Four! One of those four men is going to AngleMania! Just then, Spanish Fly charges after Tha Puerto Rican...and gets tossed out by PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Make that the final three! COACH Spanish Fly! Little buddy! COLE Spanish Fly went FLYING on that one! COACH Oh, that's rich! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SPANISH FLY ENTERED: 28th LEFT: 27th TIME IN RING: 10:27 ELIMINATED: Leon Rodez, John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are now down to just Tha Puerto Rican against both members of Brains & Brawn! PRL paces back and forth staring a hole through both Brains & Brawn. COACH This is not looking good! This is not looking good! COLE Tha Puerto Rican can pull off the upset! He can go to AngleMania if he gets rid of X and Wall! Brains & Brawn are very annoyed with PRL right now. COACH Somebody has to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Popick is probably blowing a gasket right now backstage! His hopes of an AngleMania main event without Tha Puerto Rican are dwindling further and further away! COACH This ain't right! This ain't Corporate! PRL dares both of Brains & Brawn to fight him. Vitamin X holds an angry Cuban Wall back and tells him, "I got this! I got this!" COLE Is X gonna go at it alone? COACH Yeah! The Prince dethrones the King! Vitamin X goes for a high five, but Wall just stares at him. Moving on, X spits in his hands and rubs them together. He then slowly inches closer to Tha Puerto Rican, getting into a fighting stance. PRL puts his guard up as X comes towards him. Finally, X just goes ahead and tackles PRL into a turnbuckle corner! He then starts punching him in the face! COLE If X eliminates PRL, then he won't have to part with that $1 million in his bank account! COACH That's probably more than enough to motivate X into eliminating PRL. VX continues pounding on PRL in the turnbuckle corner! X grabs PRL's left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner, right into a Big Boot from Cuban Wall! COLE Oh, he can't have much left! Tha Puerto Rican can't have much left! COACH He was the first guy in and the second-to-last guy eliminated! Not bad for such a jabroni! Vitamin X says, "YEAH-UH~!" He tells Cuban Wall good job, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. VITAMIN X You like that? You like that? You're going down! YOU'RE GOING DOWN! Vitamin X SLAPS PRL across the face! COLE Oh! And what a sign of disrespect from Vitamin X! COACH That piece of trailer park trash deserves nothing more! X starts jukin' and jivin'. COACH Here it comes! I always love this part! VX punches PRL in the face! He then punches PRL in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then SPITS IN HIS RIGHT HAND! X then punches PRL a third time, knocking him down! COLE That dreaded three punch combo from Vitamin X takes Tha Puerto Rican down! COACH Yeah! And he mocked PRL while doing it! HA! HA! Vitamin X shouts out "BOO-YAH~!" to loud boos. X picks Tha Puerto Rican up--and is met with a left hand! And another! And another! Tha Puerto Rican DANCES~! THEN SPITS IN HIS LEFT HAND! And then punches Vitamin X a fourth time, knocking him down! COLE Hey! How about that? A little Shake, Rattle & Roll from Tha Puerto Rican, perhaps a 'shout out' to his friend, Colombian Heat! COACH That disgusts me! Copying his own best friend's moves now!? What kind of a friend is he!? Dispicable! PRL picks Vitamin X up and whips him into the ropes--NO--Vitamin X reverses--PRL bounces off of the ring ropes, Vitamin X puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, and simply kicks Vitamin X in the face! Vitamin X stumbles around the ring, with PRL watching him. KICK WHAM THE CAPPA KILLA!!!!!!! COLE The Cappa Killa! The Cappa Killa from Tha Puerto Rican! Perhaps a 'shout out' to The Mad Cappa!? COACH NO! Vitamin X is still on his feet following The Cappa Killa, so Tha Puerto Rican bumrushes him and dumps Vitamin X over the top rope and onto the floor with a clothesline! COLE There goes Vitamin X! COACH That wasn't an exit fit for a prince! That was not a royal exit! COLE Well, Vitamin X did better than he did last year, so at least he can take comfort in that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ VITAMIN X ENTERED: 6th LEFT: 28th TIME IN RING: 47:48 ELIMINATED: The Mad Cappa, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are seeing the single greatest one-man performance in the history of the Lethal Rumble! COACH Come on Wall! That $1 million could be yours! All yours! Popick won’t mind! The crowd is on their feet! PRL continues firing them up! P.R. then rushes over to the turnbuckle corner where Cuban Wall is standing. Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Down to two men! Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican! Either Cuban Wall gets the $1 million bounty, or Tha Puerto Rican gets another shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest spectacle in parody e-fed entertainment! COACH Come on, Wall! Your boss is counting on you to do your job! $1 million! $1 million! ONE MILLION DOLLARS! PRL, his face filled with RAGE, grabs Cuban Wall's left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. PR follows with a Stinger Splash onto Wall! Puerto Rican then grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand again, and then whips him into the ropes...Cuban Wall reverses...Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes...right into a GOOZLE~! COACH Oh yeah! Oh yeah! COLE This could end it for Tha Puerto Rican right here! CW taunts PRL while clutching his throat. PRL gasps for air. Wall grabs Puerto's long red tights and then lifts him up into the air--NO!--Tha Puerto Rican slips out of Cuban Wall's grasp and lands on his feet right behind him. PRL turns Cuban Wall around... KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHT-- PRL has trouble lifting Wall up! COACH He's not gonna do it! No way! COLE PRL giving it his all to lift the Corporate Wall off of his feet! COACH Come on! He can't do it! No way! PRL keeps trying and trying and trying. The crowd roots him on, but the size of Wall is too much to overcome. Finally, PRL gives it one last try and is successful in lifting Wall off of his feet! COLE He's doing it! He's doing it! He's actually doing it! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? The crowd goes nuts as PRL gets Cuban Wall higher and higher off of the mat! COLE He...just...might...do...it! Once P.R. sees Cuban Wall's feet 3 feet off of the mat, he quickly DRILLS him into the canvas with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall! COACH AAAAH! Oh no! WALL GET UP! GET UP NOW DAMNIT! The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat, breathing hard. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE But that P.R. Nightmare took a lot out of Tha Puerto Rican! Combine that with being in the Lethal Rumble Match for almost an hour, and it's no surprise that PRL is down on the mat along with Wall! COACH And Cuban Wall hasn't been in the match as long as PR has! Not to mention he's so damn big! He can recover much easier than PRL can! COLE We'll see! But I believe whoever gets up first is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE The 'Lightning Bolts' rooting for their hero to get back up! COACH Oh, this isn't fair! This is not fair at all! Both P.R. and Cuban Wall continue lying on the mat. Both men are sweating, breathing hard, and are in pain. They both got their eyes closed. The crowd is going nuts for "The People's Champion". COLE The Corporation must be on the edge of their seats watching this! COACH Hell, I'M on the edge of my seat right now! COME ON WALL! PRL and Cuban Wall lie still on the mat, sweating, breathing hard, in pain, with their eyes closed. That is until Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH HHHHHHHH!" COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is up first! And Cuban Wall is still out! PRL bounces up and down inside the ring, getting the crowd fired up. He yells that the match is over! COACH Come on Wall! Tha Puerto Rican looks to the crowd. "THAT'S IT!" COLE Tha Puerto Rican is going for the elimination! Can he eliminate the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall and go to AngleMania? COACH No he can't! He can't do it! COLE He just might! He has performed terrifically in this year's Lethal Rumble! And he is one elimination away from getting another World Title shot, and quite possibly his well deserved one-on-one match with Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh God, I'm going to be sick if he does this! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd. He motions that he is going to throw Cuban Wall over the top rope. COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be going to AngleMania VII! COACH Shut up! PRL goes to pick Cuban Wall up. As he does so, a LOUD resounding chorus of boos fill the arena. This gets PRL's attention. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK walks to the ring, wearing a black sweatshirt, and carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand, and the OAOAST International Championship belt with his right hand. COACH THE CHAMP IS HERE~! COLE Oh no. What does HE want!? COACH HE is the Undisputed Champion! He wants a front row seat to find out who he's facing at AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican curls his lips into a sneer when he spots Popick coming to the ring. Popick runs his mouth as he walks, getting garbage thrown his way. COACH How dare they disrespect Popick in his hometown!? COLE He hasn't done a damn thing to EARN their respect! COACH He's the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion for crying out loud! That's enough to respect him in my eyes! COLE Not for me. COACH Yeah, but you don't count. You never count. Tha Puerto Rican starts running *his* mouth, which he has no problem doing, as Popick runs his. The two comrades-turned-enemies trash talk each other. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is the man Tha Puerto Rican might face at AngleMania VII if he eliminates Cuban Wall tonight! COACH Oh, how Popick would LOVE to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania VII! Oh, how he would love to do that so much! COLE Uh-huh. Sure. Popick stops at ringside, 4 feet away from the ring and Tha Puerto Rican. He dares PRL to come and fight him right now. PRL dares Popick to enter the ring. COLE You can feel the hatred both of these men have for each other! And you can bet that PRL would love it if Popick remains World Heavyweight Champion from now until AngleMania VII, so that he can win his first World Title from him! COACH Keep dreaming, Puerto. That ain't gonna happen! COLE Popick being World Champ, or PRL winning the World Heavyweight Title? COACH What do you think, you idiot!? Popick raises both of his title belts into the air, and smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! in response to this. He tells Popick to come into the ring to get a piece of Tha Puerto Rican. Popick goes to enter the ring, but backs off as soon as PR comes close to him. COLE Popick is just taunting PRL! COACH He has TWO belts and PR STILL has ZERO! HA! HA! HA! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK You want this!? You'll never have it! Never! NEVER! NE-VER! Popick points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and shakes his first finger at P.R. He then points to the OAOAST International Championship belt and also shakes his first finger at P.R. He says, "No chance! No chance in Hell!" P.R. bends down and dares Popick to get into the ring. COLE P.R. wants it now! COACH He's making a big mistake here. Popick hasn't wrestled for an hour, you know! COLE He doesn't care! He's not waiting until AngleMania! Tha Puerto Rican flips Popick off, and then tells him to "JUST BRING IT!" POPICK You want me to bring it? You want me to bring it? I'll bring it! Oh yeah, I'll bring it! I'll bring it all right! I'll bring it! I'LL BRING IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU GOT ME! I'LL BRING IT! I'LL BRING IT RIGHT NOW! I'LL BRING IT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! LET'S GO! The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE The crowd wants it now! Tha Puerto Rican wants it now! PRL keeps saying, "Come on! Come on!" But Popick continues running his mouth, issuing threats to The Great One. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE These fans letting Stephen Joseph know exactly how they feel in his hometown! COACH They're jealous! All of them! Popick's the best thing to come out of Atlanta! SJ tells some fans near him to shut their mouths. P.R. tells Popick once again to come into the ring. Popick seems hesitant to do so. COACH Get him, Popick! Get him! The crowd is at a fever pitch. Tha Puerto Rican tells Popick one more time to "JUST BRING IT!" Stephen Joseph Popick sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK All right, that's it you piece of crap! Your ass is mine! Stephen Joseph Popick drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt onto the floor. He then rolls up his sleeves, spits in both of his hands, rubs them together, jumps up and down in place, lets out a yell, and then rushes forward-- At the same time, Cuban Wall delivers a BIG BOOT to the back of Tha Puerto Rican’s head!!! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Stephen Joseph Popick stops in his tracks as Tha Puerto Rican staggers in the ring thanks to the big boot. He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat. However, that just gives Cuban Wall the perfect opportunity to grab PRL's legs... ...flip Tha Puerto Rican up into the air... ...over the top ring rope... *THUD!* ...AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN’S WHOLE ENTIRE BODY HITS THE PROTECTIVE MATS, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK STANDING OVER HIM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE WAIT A MINUTE! NO! NO! NO! *DING DING DING* (61:09) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Popick immediately starts jumping up and down in celebration. Tha Puerto Rican is only face down on the ground for two seconds before he lifts his head up and looks up to the ring to see that his worst fear has come true. COLE CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 29th TIME IN RING: 1:01:09 ELIMINATED: The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINN0R~!: Cuban Wall ENTERED: 18th TIME IN RING: 32:17 ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Reject, John Brickston (co), Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation snags the Lethal Rumble Match for the first time ever! COACH And it's the CORPORATE Wall that does it for them! HA! HA! HA! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick unrolls his sleeves and dusts his hands, an evil smile on his face. Fans throw garbage in his direction, which causes Popick to taunt those that do. COLE And you know what this means... COACH Yes, Cuban Wall gets the $1 million! COLE AND Cuban Wall will face Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII! COACH Oh, that is a Dream Match to be sure! Cuban Wall gets to live out his dream in front of over 100,000 people in the L.A. Coliseum! It doesn't get any better that that! Tha Puerto Rican sits up on the outside, PISSED OFF~! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania, and Tha Puerto Rican is LIVID! PRL looks at Popick, who is pointing and laughing at him. This is more than enough for Tha Puerto Rican to get up and chase Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick tries to back off, but PR grabs him and starts punching him in the face to the crowd's delight! COACH Look at this! COLE And PR taking it to the World Heavyweight Champion! To the man who ROBBED him of his shot at the belt at AngleMania VII! COACH It was Cuban Wall who threw him over the top rope! COLE But it was Popick who distracted him! Popick used PR's own hatred against him to lure him away from Cuban Wall, and therefore LOSE the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Popick didn't screw P.R. P.R. SCREWED P.R.! Popick fights back with a few punches of his own, but Tha Puerto Rican is able to quickly regain the advantage, nailing his former "Career Consultant" with rights and lefts! Popick becomes dazed because of these punches, and staggers back to the entrance with PRL following him, hitting him in the back as they run! COLE PR is beating the hell out of the Champion! COACH He choked...AGAIN! And he was so close this time too! COLE He didn't choke! He was SCREWED! COACH He didn't get the job done. Again. That is the important thing. No wonder Lindsay, Popick, and everyone else dumped his ass! Popick goes for a punch near the entrance, but PR blocks it, and then chases Popick through the curtains. COACH Go get him Popick! Cuban Wall is on his knees raising his hands in victory while looking up to the sky. Referee Earl Hebner raises Wall’s hands in victory to loud boos. COACH This is without a doubt the greatest night in Cuban Wall’s life! A guaranteed, GUARANTEED trip to the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII and an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match is in the future for that man right there! And he's also now $1 million richer thanks to eliminating his ex-boss! There ain't no better time than now to be Cuban Wall! COLE Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican! We will have an All-Corporate AngleMania VII main event on March 30th! COACH It's going to be the CORPORATE AngleMania! Cuban Wall gets up and walks around the ring raising his hands in victory as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE Cuban Wall has shocked the world! He has pulled off the upset! COACH How is this an upset? He's 6'7" 285 pounds for crying out loud! COLE Be real, Coach! He wasn't a favourite to win! Zack, Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican! THEY were some of the favourites! Not a lot of people thought Cuban Wall would get this far, but he has! HE is the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner! COACH Well now Cuban Wall can join some of the greats in the annals of time! His name is now listed among all of the other Lethal Rumble winners. TheSoleSurvivor, Angle-Plex, Calvin Szechstein, Axel, Alfdogg, Zack Malibu, and now CUBAN WALL! The GREATEST of them all! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania! Cuban Wall is now $1 million richer! Cuban Wall is now in contention for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COACH Oh yeah! Dreams DO come true here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air and lets out a mighty roar! The crowd boos loudly. Wall gives the crowd the "Up yours!" gesture and then does the Corporate Salute! The camera cuts to the entrance where Vitamin X is walking to the ring with a champagne bottle in his right hand and a champagne glass in his left hand. The Bone Thug, a serious expression on his sunglasses-covered face, walks to the ring behind X, also carrying a champagne glass in his left hand. X has a wide EVIL smile on his face, laughing manically as he applauds his partner’s victory. COACH Let the celebration begin! COLE The SJPC members coming out now to celebrate Cuban Wall's victory! COACH He deserves it! This is his night! This is the Corporation's night! VX enters the ring and offers his buddy a handshake, which Wall accepts. The fans boo, disgusted by all of this. The Bone Thug enters the ring and nods his head at Wall. Wall nods back. The Bone Thug has a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head and another one covering his mouth. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, he too carrying a champagne glass in his right hand, and he gives Wall a great big bear hug lifting him off of the mat! Mr. B squeezes Cuban Wall a little too tight, and Wall has to yell at Boricua to let go. MR. BORICUA Sorry. CUBAN WALL That's okay, Boricua. Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring, also carrying a champagne glass in his right hand, and he congratulates Wall on winning the Lethal Rumble Match. Thomas hugs Wall. Spanish Fly, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, and Princess Stacey all enter the ring, each one carrying a champagne glass, and they all congratulate Cuban Wall too. Lindsay gives Wall a hug and a kiss, as does Princess Stacey. Spanish Fly high fives Cuban Wall and then pulls him in for a hug. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is out here in full force, celebrating the victory of THAT man, Cuban Wall! COACH This is his night! He has never been happier! COLE He is the #1 Contender! He gets his shot at AngleMania on March 30th! COACH I love it! Stephen Joseph Popick comes out through the curtains, dusting himself off. He has a cigar in his mouth and a champagne glass in his right hand as he comes to the ring, applauding Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly. COLE And Popick is back out here! COACH All right! He gets to celebrate with his family! COLE I have been told that Tha Puerto Rican is backstage being held back by security! Seems as though security broke up the fight between P.R. and Popick! COACH Good! Make sure that sore loser stays far away from the SJPC! Do NOT let him ruin this for them! Stephen Joseph continues applauding Wall as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He congratulates Wall with a handshake, and then pulls him in for a hug. Popick tells Wall, "I knew you could do it!" Wall says, "Thank you, Boss." Popick says, "See you at AngleMania!" COLE Stephen Joseph Popick, if he is a man of his word, will now pay Cuban Wall $1 million for eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! COACH 'If' he is a man of his word? Oh Michael Cole, he IS a man of his word! He damn well is! COLE Somehow I doubt that, but if you say so. Either way, the money stays in the Corporation, as Vitamin X's partner in Brains & Brawn gets $1 million from X's bank account! COACH 1 million smackeroos for the Muscle for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Now THAT'S a payday! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE ...Did Vitamin X just tell Michael Buffer to announce the winner again? COACH Why yes he did. COLE Oh brother. Oh come on now! Stephen Joseph Popick raises Cuban Wall's right hand in victory and points to him. He then poses for the fans himself. The crowd boos loudly. Popick takes a cigar out of his right pants pocket and hands it over to Cuban Wall. Popick then takes another cigar out from his right pants pocket and hands it over to Vitamin X. He repeats the process with Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez. Cuban Wall lights up his cigar with a lighter handed to him by Thomas Rodriguez, and then takes a giant puff. Wall blows out smoke into the arena. Wall grins evilly. COLE And now some celebratory cigars. COACH Straight from Cuba! Cuban Cigars for Cuban Wall! COLE That's nice. COACH It is, isn't it? Screw those smoking bans! The male members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation walk around the ring with cigars in their mouths and champagne glasses in their hands. Vitamin X lights his cigar up, as does Stephen Joseph Popick. Mr. Boricua chomps down on his cigar, while Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez pose with cigars in their mouths, unlit. The two female members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation just applaud Wall, Lindsay having the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. Cuban Wall laughs it up with Popick, gloating over his victory. The Bone Thug just stares at the crowd with a cigar in his mouth. COLE Regardless of who wins at AngleMania VII, the World Title will stay in the Corporation. COACH And that's just what Popick wants! He predicted it! He prophesized it! He said that there was 'No Chance In Hell' that Tha Puerto Rican would win the Lethal Rumble Match...and he was right! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick baited Tha Puerto Rican! He distracted him allowing Cuban Wall to pick up the victory! Fireworks explode over the ring. Pyro goes off from the ring posts. Pyro explodes in the entrance. Cuban Wall smiles, then laughs maniacally. COLE I bet Popick used his Corporate Connections to set this up too, didn't he? COACH Probably. It is an awesome fireworks display, though, am I right? Cuban Wall hugs Popick as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds has to be restarted. Spanish Fly enters the ring with both the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt. He hands both belts over to Popick. Popick thanks Fly for that, and then raises both belts in the air to tremendous boos. Popick sneers at the crowd. COLE And he has cause for celebration too. He is now the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COACH That's right! Everything went his way tonight! This was the perfect CORPORATE night for Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE We now have an Undisputed World Champion, and if all goes according to Popick's plan, then Stephen Joseph Popick vs. Cuban Wall for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship will be the main event for OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30, 2008 from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! COACH It is going to be the greatest main event in AngleMania history, hell, the greatest main event in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! Garbage gets thrown into the ring. Popick puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder. Vitamin X grabs the champagne bottle and shakes it up. The cork pops, and then X pours champagne into everyone's champagne glasses. COACH Time to pop the bubbly! Mr. Boricua grabs the bottle and drinks from it, until Cuban Wall snatches the bottle away from him...and drinks from it himself. COACH It must be nice, expensive champagne. But he's earned it! Garbage is still being thrown into the ring. After everyone has a glass filled with champagne, the SJPC members all gather around in a circle. POPICK A toast to the CORPORATE #1 Contender, Cuban Wall! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION CHEERS! Everyone in the SJPC taps their glasses together and then drink the champagne. COLE 63 days from now Cuban Wall is going to be in the biggest match of his career. In just 63 more days he could be the next World Heavyweight Champion! COACH And best of all, Tha Puerto Rican is nowhere near the Title scene! COLE He will be in the hunt, I am sure of it. But he'll just have to wait 64 more days until his next shot! COACH Like Wall would ever give him a shot! How about 164 more days? Or 264? Or 364? Or 464? Or 564? Or 664? Or 764? Or 864? Or 9-- COLE Coach, we get it! COACH Ass. Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug head to the four turnbuckle corners and climb onto the second turnbuckles, each one with a cigar in their mouths and a champagne glass in their hands. Spanish Fly does The Outsiders "pointing" taunt along with Thomas Rodriguez and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Princess Stacey claps her hands. Mr. Boricua spits out the chomp bits of his cigar, and then snorts, screams, yells, and cracks his knuckles. COACH This is how you do a celebration! A CORPORATE celebration! COLE Oh come on now! COACH This is beautiful! I am getting choked up watching this! COLE Oh please! Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder, takes a giant puff from his cigar and then blows it out into the crowd. He then offers a "toast" to the fans, and then downs the rest of his glass of champagne from the champagne glass. He then sneers at the crowd. Vitamin X also takes a giant puff from his cigar and blows it out into the crowd, as does Cuban Wall. Wall, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug all finish their glasses of champagne too. THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Popick gets off of the second turnbuckle and hugs Vitamin X. He then hugs Cuban Wall again. X pours himself, Popick, and Wall more champagne into their champagne glasses and they continue drinking as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE He had help. Popick lended him a helping hand! He distracted PRL! COACH I don't care how he did it! The important thing is we have got ourselves an all CORPORATE AngleMania main event! Popick vs. Wall! I can’t wait! Stephen Joseph and Cuban Wall head to opposite turnbuckle corners and raise their hands in victory. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick points to her husband saying, "That's my man!" While Vitamin X points to Cuban Wall and says, "YEAH! BOO-YAH~!" The crowd boos. COLE Popick, Cuban Wall, both victors tonight! And they are both now on a collision course to AngleMania VII! COACH This is going to be so cool! I can’t wait! The countdown is on! 63 days and counting! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick are on the Road To AngleMania VII! SJP gets off of the second turnbuckle and offers up another toast with his Corporation members. They all drink the champagne again, and then Popick high fives Wall and VX. He kisses his wife on the lips. The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the Lethal Rumble Match, starting with Stephen Joseph Popick pretending that he was going to attack Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Popick had him distracted! He acted like he was going to fight PRL, but it was all a ploy! Cuban Wall had recovered from the P.R. Nightmare and gave Tha Puerto Rican a big boot to the back of the head! P.R. stumbled, Cuban Wall grabbed P.R. by the legs and lifted him up and over the top rope and onto the floor! Tha Puerto Rican was eliminated, Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on PRL and Cuban Wall is ALSO going to AngleMania VII! And Stephen Joseph Popick couldn't be any more happier! His arch-rival is NOT going to be in the AngleMania VII main event! But Popick himself might be if he remains OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion from now until March 30th! COACH I knew he could do it! I knew he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match and he is going to AngleMania! The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to live action as the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all continue celebrating in the ring, gloating over their victory. They all laugh maniacally and pose for the fans. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick becomes the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion in his hometown. Cuban Wall gets the biggest win of his career thus far and is going to be in the main event of the biggest show of the year. This was without a shadow of a doubt the biggest, most memorable night in the history of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying so long from OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, and we'll see you this week on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Stephen Joseph Popick pours champagne from the champagne bottle onto Cuban Wall's head. Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez and Spanish Fly all dump the champagne from their champagne glasses onto Cuban Wall's head too. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Princess Stacey, The Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua all applaud Cuban Wall some more. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all laugh maniacally. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air again as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds ends. The crowd boos loudly. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ WAY TO GO! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK CONGRATS WALL! SPANISH FLY EXCELLENT JOB, BRO! PRINCESS STACEY WOOOOO! THE BONE THUG Gran parte felicitaciones por su gran victoria. MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRR. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK EXCELLENT! SIMPLY EXCELLENT! VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! CUBAN WALL YEAH! Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez continue their celebration even as the credits roll and people begin leaving the Phillips Arena. With "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds having just ended, the only sounds you hear in the arena are of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation whooping and hollering and boos from the fans that are still in their seats. But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is still celebrating, happy over what's gone down tonight as Stephen Joseph Popick is still the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion and Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, in addition to $1 million. But they are also celebrating because of one very important fact: Tha Puerto Rican is NOT going to AngleMania. FADE OUT

"SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender?" Fire burns around the entranceway as James Cone runs out, roared on by the fans. COLE James Cone, we saw him earlier on and now making his third Lethal Rumble appearance. Cone does come to Leon's rescue, as he pulls out Vitamin X and drops him with a right hand. A dropkick knocks Todd Cortez back down, before Cone detours off towards PRL and kicks him in the chest. Just as Cone looks to be cooking though, he gets a little too ahead of himself and runs into Bohemoth. COACH Less haste, more speed and definately opposite direction! Bohemoth gets a hold of Cone, but the fresh entrant is able to swat the arm away and fires off a couple of kicks. With the bigman not budging, Cone then tries another tactic and goes for the legs. A clubbing shot to the back from Bo fends Cone off though. Away into a corner walks Cone, followed in by Bohemoth who makes his own attempt to force an elimination. As this goes on in the one corner, Zack Malibu walks away into another corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Tha Puerto Rican. COLE We've got ten men in, ten men still to come. And we're none the wiser about who's going to AngleMania to challenge Stephen Joseph Popick. Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders. COACH Looking for the G2S! Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and... ...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!! COACH OH NO! COLE Maddix is read the Riot Act again! With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LANDON MADDIX ENTERED: 10th LEFT: 11th TIME IN RING: 21:16 ELIMINATED: Jock Mulligan ELIMINATED BY: Todd Cortez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, James Cone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The referees signal that the motionless Maddix is indeed out, before setting about trying to wake him up. COLE And it was the Riot Act Plus, yet again, which did Maddix in. I've lost count of how many times since Cortez left Landon's side that we've seen him spike him with that Riot Act, it's got to be into double figures by now. COACH That move should be outlawed! COLE Why, because Landon still doesn't have a counter for it? COACH That's one of many reasons Michael Cole! Cortez smirks at Landon before turning around, to be met by Reject and a boot. Hooking Cortez's head and leg, Reject then lifts for a Fisherman's Bust... NO! Cortez rolls through, into a small package. Realising full-well there's no pins, Cortez rolls right through on it, hanging onto the head and bringing Reject up, into a traditional Brainbuster! COLE Oh and he spiked him! Climbing up, Cortez targets the biggest man in the match, Cuban Wall. It's Cortez and Rodez on Wall in one corner, Zack and PRL in another and now Vitamin X and James Cone double-teaming Bohemoth, as we are under ten seconds until another entrant... "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Where I'm From" by C-Murder hits and out walks Reggie Lamont. COLE Number twenty one, Reggie Lamont looking to make a name for himself on the big stage. COACH It's going to be trouble in paradise now. COLE *groan* Reggie hits the ring and immediately heads to the corner occupied by Zack and Tha Puerto Rican. The Jamaican pulls Zack away and just throws him to the side, before grabbing PRL and lifting him up across the top turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Look at this! Reggie's going for the money, he's going for the bounty straight away! The fans shout encouragement for PRL as Reggie powers forward trying to push him over the top. PRL is in trouble as Reggie unhooks the leg from underneath the top rope, tipping PRL over so that he's looking down at the arena floor below! Despairingly Tha Puerto Rican gets his hands on the ring apron to try and push himself back in, against the force of the 260 pounds Lamont. COACH Reggie Lamont is seconds away from becoming a millionaire right here! COLE I think somebody's got other ideas. Walking back over, Zack Malibu shows how much he appreciated Reggie's handling of him by pulling him off of PRL and cracking him with an elbow. The crowd breathe a sigh of relief as PRL safely navigates his way over the top and onto the apron, then back into the ring. Zack cracks Reggie with a couple more elbows, before hitting the ropes. Reggie ducks the clothesline though, setting and connecting with a thrust kick up under the jaw of The Franchise! COLE Woah! Nice kick from Reggie! As the big man now of Laguna Beach steps out though, he fails to DODGE THIS (BITCH) and eats a Gamengiri from PRL!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE That wasn't half bad either. On the outside, a distraught Landon is 'escorted' backstage as the action continues without him. Cuban Wall is now at the mercy of three men now, as James Cone has walked over to join Cortez and Leon. Seeing the numbers are with them, Leon directs traffic and motions for them to get Wall out. Cortez and Cone each take a leg and lift, while Leon tries to get underneath the Muscle of the SJPC. Oblivious to his partner's plight, Vitamin X backs up and dropkicks Bohemoth against the bottom turnbuckle. PRL sees Wall in trouble though and decides to go help, despite the urge to rest, his help getting Wall going as the crowd roar. COLE Finally, we've got a group of people coming together and realising what it's going to take to eliminate Cuban Wall. Four men now, Wall is in trouble! Wall hangs on, in an awkward position with his back to the ropes. But where as he can't get a grip on the ropes, he can see who he's fighting. Finding a good spot, Wall reaches out, throwing a soupbone right hand that catches Cortez. A big right then knocks down Cone. Leon and PRL's combined efforts can't keep Wall elevated and his feet hit the mat, quickly landing a right hand on PRL before knocking Leon clean off his feet with an uppercut. COLE Cuban Wall just fought off four men. And not just any four men, four of the OAOAST's finest. COACH That's what those big right hands can do. COLE And we're about to get entrant number 22. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Magnum Opus" hits, to a loud and slightly mixed reaction as ALFDOGG heads out to the ring. COLE Speaking of the OAOAST's finest. Alfdogg, one of only two men to have competed in every Lethal Rumble Match. And he's going right after the other man, Zack Malibu! Alf swings away with right hands on Zack as he hits the ring. The two battle it out until Cuban Wall walks over and grabs them BOTH by the throat for a Double Chokeslam. Alf and Zack both connect with kicks to the knees of Wall to free themselves, before taking him into the ropes with a double whip. A double elbow from the OAOAST Originals puts Wall on the backfoot but not down. So Alf says "nuts to this" and abandons Zack to go after Reggie Lamont! Surprised for a second, Malibu narrowly avoids a clothesline from Wall... *SMACK!* ...and fells the giant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As Wall topples, Leon Rodez starts to get to his feet. Zack doesn't play any favourites and sets for School's Out to his friend too. However Reject comes over and clotheslines Zack down. Reject is in turn clotheslined down by Todd Cortez. Cortez then turns around into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss... *SMACK!* ...AND GETTING CRACKED WITH THE PHEONIX KICK BY JAMES CONE!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That Guy Who Used To Be Spider Poet Said Knock You Out! Going after Cone, Cortez misses his man as Cone crawls under his grasp. The Lunar Pheonix turns around into a Crotch Droppah though. Cortez then comes off the ropes, building up a head of steam and charging back at Cone... who dives forward and clips out The Urban Legend's knee as he rushes towards him. Flipped through the air, Cortez lands with a thud, while Cone suddenly comes face to face with a face from his past, one Zack Malibu. COLE How about this for a face-off? COACH How long has it been? Four, five years? COLE It's been a while that's for sure. Alf has Reggie elevated in the background, as words exchange between Zack and Cone. Then Zack hits a forearm, Cone retaliating. Forearm by Zack. Forearm by Cone. The two OAOAST vets trading blows in the middle of the ring, until the shots catch up to Malibu. Cone lands three more forearms before coming off the ropes, firing into The Franchise with a shoulder tackle. Back a few steps goes Zack, a few steps closer to the ropes which is what concerns The Lunar Pheonix. Another shoulder block knocks Zack back again, this time pinning him against the ropes. Cone then runs in again and charges Zack a third time... but Zack ducks his head, backdropping Cone... who lands on his feet on the apron! COLE He's still in, Cone showing he's still got some of that agility. Spinning Malibu around, Cone lands a forearm from the apron. A second then stuns Zack and sets him up for Cone to apply a front facelock, reaching over the top rope and setting him for a suplex. Zack hooks his foot around the bottom rope though and blocks the elimination attempt! Cone lifts again, again blocked by Zack! Unhooking his foot, Zack then lifts... but Cone blocks and lifts up Zack... who gets turned completely upside down, to screams from the crowd, before he manages to kick his feet and land back in the ring! COLE Zack, hanging on by the skin of his teeth! Losing the facelock Cone drops Zack, who lands in front of him but tastes another elbow. Grabbing onto the top rope, Cone then jumps up... ...but gets dropkicked in mid-air, propelling him backwards to the arena floor, hard! COLE And there goes The Lunar Pheonix... As Cone hits the floor, Bohemoth suddenly sneaks up behind Zack and throws him out... ...NO! Zack barely hangs onto the top rope and skins the cat back inside!! COLE Zack almost followed him too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMES CONE ENTERED: 20th LEFT: 12th TIME IN RING: 5:47 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Almost but not quite. It was too close for Zack's liking though and when he sees just who it was who tipped him, Zack charges at Bo and SPEARS him to the canvas! Bo is more stunned at being taken down than hurt and certainly stunned as Zack starts throwing right hands, but not stunned enough to hold back from throwing rights of his own!! COLE It is breaking down! Zack and Bo are going at it again... COACH And it doesn't look quite the same as earlier. There's real venom behind those punches, Cole. I think any and all 'respect' has flown out of the window, this is personal now! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Master Blaster (Jammin')" starts up as out runs another Rumble debutant, Denzel Spencer! COLE No prizes for guessing who he's going to be going after, either. Sure enough, Denzel slides in just as Vitamin X jumps Alfdogg. Denzel dodges past the brawling Bo and Zack and goes right after Reggie Lamont, popping him with a succession of right hands in the corner. Behind him meanwhile, Bohemoth has Zack over his shoulder and looks to dump him out... ...but Zack hangs onto the top rope and Bohemoth... ALSO hangs on, both men narrowly avoiding falling to the floor! COLE That was a close one! Back in the corner, Reggie starts to fight back on Denzel and backs him out in the centre of the ring with right hands. Booting Denzel in the guy, Reggie then finds some space and bounces off the ropes with the Scissors Ki... NO! Denzel pulls his head out of the way and Reggie jams (LOLZ) his spine into the canvas. Holding his BUTT, Reggie climbs back up and Denzel charges him, sending him up and out of the Lethal Rumble with one big clothesline!! COLE Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, eliminating his former partner from the Rumble, just as Lamont had done to him back at New Year's Spectacular in the battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REGGIE LAMONT ENTERED: 21st LEFT: 13th TIME IN RING: 4:22 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Denzel Spencer LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As this is going on, Reject runs over and wipes out Alfdogg. Reject then catches Denzel turning around, attempting an irish whip but finding himself reversed. As Reject rebounds, up goes Denzel for a Hurricanrana... and DOWN he comes, into a Sitout Powerbomb! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reject gets wiped out in his own right a second later though, as Alfdogg runs over and boots him in the face! After a few choice words to Reject, Alf then goes back after Vitamin X. Cortez works over Cuban Wall with kicks across the ring. Leon and PRL meanwhile take their time recovering, as Bohemoth and Zack continue to do battle in the middle of the pack. COLE It's over thirty minutes for Zack, over thirty for Bohemoth, over fourty minutes for PRL! In one corner Cortez tries to get Wall over the top, with little success. Catching Zack with a good right meanwhile, Bohemoth cups him by the head and runs him across the ring... ...NO! Zack puts on the brakes. A spinkick to the gut doubles Bohemoth over, allowing Zack to run Bohemoth back to the other side... ...NO!! Bohemoth puts on the brakes. Scooping up Zack, Bohemoth goes for a Spinebuster, but finds himself trapped in a front guillotine choke and unable to drop The Franchise. Zack wraps the body-scissors on and tries to choke Bo out, the two bypassed by Alfdogg who targets PRL in the corner and tries to dump him out to collect himself a cool million! COACH Yes, if anyone's gonna collect the bounty, it's gotta be Alf! He did it before and he's going to do it again. Let's face it, the bounty Stephen Joseph put up shits all over the 100,000 Alf picked up two years ago. COLE And if Alf does eliminate PRL, it certainly won't be for Popick's benefit. PRL hangs on, as Bohemoth begins to fade in the middle of the ring. Realising he's going out, Bohemoth makes a charge forward and runs Zack into the one neutral corner in the ring sending his lower back hard into the top turnbuckle. Zack refuses to relinquish the front chancre though. Bohemoth staggers away, already feeling the effects of entering at number 5, even without this chokehold. He turns and runs forward again, this time into a NON neutral corner. Vitamin X gets sandwiched in the corner and goes down, but Zack still hangs onto the choke and Bohemoth is fading fast. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" Just as he starts to sink forward though, Bohemoth gets a surge of energy and with a low roar he muscles Zack back up before charging again... ...dumping Zack over the ropes!! Zack realises he's in trouble and hangs on for grim life, bringing Bohemoth over with him by the neck... COACH Look out! ...AND THEY BOTH CRASH TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!! COLE I don't believe it... they're BOTH gone! Zack and Bohemoth are OUT! A loud groan goes up through the Philips Arena, two of the favourites both in chances and crowd support eliminated in one split second. Hitting the floor with a thud, the two untangle themselves and pull themselves back up as referees come across to point them to the back. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The friendly rivalry between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, I have to say, might just have come back to bite them both in the ass here tonight at AnglePalooza. Neither of them will be going to AngleMania to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship! Unbelievable! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 14th TIME IN RING: 37:43 ELIMINATED: Brock Ausstin, Tyler Bryant, Biff Atlas, Zack Malibu ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 15th TIME IN RING: 31:43 ELIMINATED: Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, James Cone, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Running a hand over his head, Zack curses to himself. Bohemoth hides his emotions slightly worse, slamming his hands into the ring apron in frustration. He then turns to Zack. The two lock eyes and tension boils over as Bo shoves Zack in the chest and The Franchise responds by PIEFACING The Meterosexual Monster!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" And before you know it, Bo and Zack have launched at each other with wild punches and referees are piling over to try and seperate the frustrated fan favourites!! COLE Uh-oh. Tempers have spilt over... Bohemoth and Zack obviously unhappy at being eliminated and they're taking it out on each other. COACH What did I tell you Michael? Sooner or later, somebody's ego was going to get dented and this supposed 'friendly' rivalry was going to turn ugly. And sure enough, it's happened here tonight. There aren't any friends in the hunt for the World Title. Zack and Bo brawl down the aisle with a stream of officials back out from the back again to try and pull them apart. The usually well-tempered pair have lost it in the heat of the moment though, Bo pushes through officials to get his punches in, Zack refusing to be held back even by former tag team partner turned road agent Tony Brannigan. "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* In the heat of this the countdown almost goes forgotten, until "No Chance In Hell" powers out and The Bone Thug walks out. Bone Thug makes sure to keep his distance from Zack and Bo as he passes them in the aisle. COLE It might take all the people we've got in the back to seperate Zack and Bo. COACH Good job we've got about 80 guys on the roster. COLE Speaking of which, here comes The Bone Thug for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. As Bone Thug slides in, we see Zack and Bohemoth disappear through the curtains amongst the sea of officials, still throwing wild shots at each other. COLE Well that has thrown us for a loop. And it's thrown this Lethal Rumble wide open. You've got Alfdogg the 2006 winner. PRL, in from number one, still fighting. COACH Three Corporation members... and two still to come! COLE Reject. In 2006, he lasted over 50 minutes, he's got Lethal Rumble credentials that's for sure. Alfdogg is attacked from behind by Reject, as Bone Thug piles into the same corner going after PRL. Denzel and Vitamin X are hurting meanwhile. In the other corner, unlikely allies Leon Rodez and Todd Cortez are struggling to contend with Cuban Wall. In the end, Cortez gives up and instead grabs Rodez, kicking him in the gut and pulling him away into the centre of the ring. Cortez pulls Leon down into a standing headscissors and looks for the Riot Act Plus... but gets tripped! Leon then hooks up the legs and falls back, catapulting Cortez in the corner and a BIG foot to the face from The Cuban Wall. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Backing out of the corner to the right, Reject is spun around by Leon. Reject catches a boot though, stepping over and cracking Rodez with a Spinning Heel Kick! COLE Reject with those educated feet. COACH Oh yeah? What did they get? COLE A couple of Advanced Degree-boks. COACH Boo-urns. As Reject gets back up, Cuban Wall then goes charging past, clotheslining Todd Cortez up and out! COLE The boot put Cortez in trouble and it was a matter of time from there. The Urban Legend is gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ ENTERED: 19th LEFT: 16th TIME IN RING: 10:40 ELIMINATED: Landon Maddix ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall heads off to help Bone Thug, who is tasting some right hands from his cousin PRL in the corner. Reject attentions are on Alfdogg meanwhile, set and waiting for him to come his way. Looking a little dis-orientated, Alf walks around the ring and drifts towards Reject, who leaps into the air and hooks Alf for the EULOG... ...NO, Alf pushes Reject off. Reject manages to sort his (educated) feet out though and keeps on running, catching Denzel Spencer getting up up under the jaw with a Spinning Wheel Kick, sending him head over heels and to the floor as well! COLE Just like that, there goes another! COACH Quick thinking from Reject. His feet aren't the only educated bodypart, I guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DENZEL SPENCER ENTERED: 23rd LEFT: 17th TIME IN RING: 3:01 ELIMINATED: Reggie Lamont ELIMINATED BY: Reject LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Reject turns away from the elimination though, he walks into a waistlock from Alf, throwing the former International Champion with an Overhead Belly To Belly! COLE Seven men remain, six left to enter in this year's Lethal Rumble. Cuban Wall and Bone Thug double-team PRL in the corner as Alf gets to his feet. The fans encourage him to help out their "People's Champion" and although the very thought of doing something to please the fans amuses him, Alf has no-one else on their feet to go after. So he walks over, grabs Wall and Bone Thug by the heads and executes the always popular DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Bone Thug loses the hardest head competition and goes down, Wall just staggering away. Leaving them behind, Alfdogg then proves to be his own man as he grabs hold of PRL's legs and starts to lift him up and over the top!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Here we go! Bye bye PR! COLE This could be it, is Tha Puerto Rican going to lose his ticket to AngleMania!? COACH Oh, I'm sure he'll make it to AngleMania. We've got to fill out the undercard somehow, right? HAHAHA! Hanging on desperately, PRL finds himself hung over the top turnbuckle and tipping back towards elimination. The three Corporate members are certainly in no rush to help him. And Alf is pushing with all he's got. First to move from the rest of the pack though is Reject. And he goes right for Alf, pulling him off of PRL... ...and grabbing PRL for himself!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH No, it's gonna be Reject! He's gonna get the bounty, I told you so! Alf comes right back and pulls Reject off of PRL, leading to an exchange of right hands between the former partners and apparantly still enemies. Before Tha Puerto Rican can breath any easier however, LEON RODEZ walks over and bundles him back across the turnbuckle looking for the elimination! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Yes! Leon, he's going to be a millionaire! Come on Leon! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" As the clock ticks down, PRL starts to fight back and gets some shots in to the head of Rodez. Eventually a right hand frees him and he shoves Leon aside, before rushing at Vitamin X and clotheslining him out of his sneakers! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Fuel" by Metallica hits. It takes the crowd a while to figure out why, until John "Rock Hard" Brickston emerges through the curtains and heads to the ring. COACH Who's this guy? COLE Who's this guy!? Coach, that's John Brickston. COACH COLE Former member of The Lightning Crew. COACH COLE Does the Anklelock. Wrestles a lot like Ken Shamrock. COACH .....OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Of course. Brickston hits the ring just as Cuban Wall and Bone Thug are making their move. Grabbing a hold of Bone Thug, Brickston spins him around and drops him with a right hand. Cuban Wall is just about to grab onto PRL before Brickston does the same to him, only without dropping the big guy. Wall ends up staggering away as Brickston lands a second right hand, before PRL turns around and comes face to face with his former protége. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Barely able to stand straight after over 45 minutes of competition, PRL still has the energy to tell Brickston to 'bring it'. Which could be a mistake, as Brickston boots PRL and goes for the Killswitch... NO! PRL escapes, ducking his head and going for the LATIN SLA... NO! Brickston lands a couple of elbows, before tripping PRL up and applying the ANKLELOCK!! COLE Anklelock by Brickston on PRL! Vitamin X pulls himself up and goes to nail Brickston... but thinks twice and lets PRL suffer some more. COLE Tremendous pain on the face of Tha Puerto Rican. COACH But he's not going to be eliminated like this. You're not going to win a million dollars with an anklelock, you putz! Throw him out! As PRL starts to shout out in pain, Brickston drops the Anklelock, at which point Vitamin X tackles him to the ground. They exchange shots, while Cuban Wall tries to come over and help out. But he gets intercepted, by Leon Rodez and a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Wall in the back of the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Wall falls backwards as Bone Thug tries to rush Leon. A sidestep and a drop toehold puts Bone Thug throat first across the middle rope though. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then does a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of Bone Thug! COLE And Call That Bitch Bojangles! Leon Rodez is cutting through the Corporation. *SMACK!* COACH But he just got cut DOWN right there! A Superkick from Alfdogg knocks Rodez down... but Alf regrets turning his back on Reject, as he gets dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE This will be entrant number 26! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Makes Me Wonder" sounds out again, for the second member of D*LUX, "Showtime" Shayne Brave! COLE What a draw for this youngster. And what a story if he were to make it to AngleMania VII! COACH Yeah, I don't see it. Reject catches the energetic Brave on his way in and clubs away, before picking him up and shooting him to the ropes. Around the world goes Shayne, but he finds his way safely out of the tilt a whirl and stuns Reject with an Enziguri! SHAYNE COME ON!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Oh yeah, Shayne Brave is fired up! Stepping out to the apron, Shayne quickly climbs the turnbuckles while the coast is clear. A groggy Reject staggers back up and glances up to see Shayne soaring towards him, connecting with a big Flying Clothesline that brings the crowd to their feet! Shayne pumps his fist in celebration before rushing over to Rodez, helping his 6-Man Tag Team partner back to his feet. Still shaken from the superkick, Leon kinda thanks Shayne, as he goes zipping off to stomp away on The Bone Thug. COLE We're getting down to the business end of things here Coach and would you look at that, Tha Puerto Rican, still there. COACH I know. Poor Popick must be getting a little frustrated watching this. In the corner, Vitamin X manages to get a thumb in the eye on John Brickston. He then grabs him by the head and throws him over the top, but Brickston holds on and slides back in. COACH I mean seriously, why is nobody going after PRL!? Come on! Leon and Shayne set up Bone Thug for a double team. An inverted atomic drop jars the Corporate member, held in place as Leon comes off the ropes to complete the D*LUX Opposites Attract double-team with what is usually Tyler's Yakuza Kick! A high-five is exchanged by the Love Generation team-mates, before Cuban Wall suddenly stomps towards them. The quick thinking 6-Man Champs manage to duck the clotheslines thrown at them though, waiting for Wall to turn around and hitting him with a Double Dropkick! COLE Down goes the bigman! Another high-five is slapped off by Love Generation, before Shayne turns around and plays to the crowd again... ...and pays for it, as Leon grabs him AND FLIPS HIM OUT OVER THE TOP!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The hell!? COLE Well, it is every man for himself. Shayne looks up stunned from the outside, as Leon just shrugs apologetically. Disappointed but still diplomatic, Shayne reaches up and high-fives Leon from the floor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHAYNE BRAVE ENTERED: 26th LEFT: 18th TIME IN RING: 1:24 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug, John Brickston ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leon gets back in the mix and works over Wall with some forearms to the back, while Reject goes over and clubs away at Brickston and at Vitamin X across the ring. Limping to his feet, PRL hops across the ring and starts to try and pick up Alfdogg, which in his physical state doesn't seem to be happening. So he settles for a fistdrop to the back of Alf's head, before going after Bone Thug. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* Lucky number #27 is next, "God Of Thunder" pumping through the arena as THUNDERKID jogs out! COLE Wow, what a draw for Thunderkid. Here's a guy who could shock the world here at AnglePalooza! TK slides in and is met by former partner Reject! A right hand is shrugged off, Thunderkid landing three quick shots on Reject before mowing him down with a clothesline. COACH Thunderkid and Reject have had some battles in the Lethal Rumble in their time. And 2008 is no exception! As Reject staggers up, Thunderkid then gorilla presses him up over his head and slams him to the canvas which maybe isn't the wisest move in a Rumble but certainly puts the hurting on Reject. COLE And Thunderkid is coming in fresh, with a lot of power as exhibited right there. COACH And not a huge amount of brains, also exhibited right there. After knocking Leon down with a right hand, Cuban Wall walks out of the corner and goes after the fresh man. Thunderkid fends him off with right hands though before backing into the ropes. A Big Boot from Wall misses it's target, TK ducking underneath and coming off the far ropes with a Bicycle Kick, which takes Wall off his feet! Thunderkid then charges at PRL and clotheslines him, over the top... ...and to the APRON ONLY!! COACH OH! Oh, I thought he was gone! COLE PRL hooked that top rope and it's the only thing that saved him! Thunderkid is pulled away by Alfdogg, who connects with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Saying to hell with it, Alf then steps to the outside and heads up top, bringing the crowd to their feet. COLE Could it be Five Star time? NO it could not! As Alf slowly climbs the turnbuckles, Thunderkid is able to drag himself back up and charges at Alf, crotching him on the top turnbuckle!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Alf groans in pain, Thunderkid then backs up a step and hooks Alf with a clothesline, taking him off the top AND SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!! COLE Another hot favourite is out of the running! And I'm sure Popick will be secretly relieved to see Alfdogg gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALFDOGG ENTERED: 22nd LEFT: 19th TIME IN RING: 11:06 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thunderkid steps away and bumps into John Brickston, the two turning around as they back into each other and going face to face. COACH My God, it's like looking into a living mirror! Before they can go at it though, Reject rushes over and knocks them both down with a double clothesline! Grinning from ear to ear, Reject reaches down and picks up Brickston... uh, at least I think it's Brickston... throwing him into a corner and choking him with the flat of his boot. Across the ring meanwhile, Vitamin X has picked up PRL and lifts him up and over the top! "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" PRL suddenly falls from the top, but he falls to the apron and grabs onto the bottom rope. Vitamin X starts stomping away but Tha Puerto Rican won't budge. Grabbing the top rope, X then pushes forward with his feet in an attempt to just push him off, Bone Thug walking over and joining in! Leon Rodez attacks X from behind though, allowing PRL to get back in while Bone Thug saves X from being chucked out by Leon. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" COLE Well with #29 and #30 taken care of, there's only one person this could be. "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" COACH Haha... brilliant. Just brilliant. "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "No Chance In Hell" strikes up and boos ring out, as the Corporate Turncoat Spanish Fly runs to the ring! COACH What a performance from The Corporation! Four in, four yet to be eliminated and the bigman still to come at number thirty. COLE And PRL yet to be eliminated either. COACH Yeah well, let's not dwell on that, huh? Fly dives in and rushes right at Leon, who drops Bone Thug with a right hand just before Fly barges into him and catches him by surprise, ELIMINATING HIM FROM THE RUMBLE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Oh, brilliant, BRILLIANT! COLE Two was okay, but Leon couldn't fight off three Corporation members. What a kicker for Leon. A great performance... COACH Yack yack yack yack. What about Spanish Fly? What STRENGTH from Spanish Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ ENTERED: 13th LEFT: 20th TIME IN RING: 30:11 ELIMINATED: Shayne Brave ELIMINATED BY: Spanish Fly LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quickly, Spanish Fly gets Vitamin X and Bone Thug together, the three SJPC members rushing over to help member number four Cuban Wall fend off Thunderkid. Fly, X and Bone Thug all attack from behind, CLUBBERING TK down to his knees with forearms while Wall pulls himself out of the corner and smiles. COLE And now, like a pack of damn dogs, they group together. Saying "I've got this, I've got this", Vitamin X assumes control. The other three step aside as X lifts Thunderkid into a torture rack. Fly gives him a helping hand as X is pretty tired from being in there so long. But once he's got TK set, X has enough energy to spin him out and put the X-CLAMATION POINT on him!! Thunderkid rolls away hurt, while Reject turns around and suddenly sees the four Corporation members advancing towards him. COLE Oh boy. Reject is in a BAD spot here. COACH But he's not backing down. Faced with no alternative, Reject shoots forward and tries to fight his way out of trouble with rights and lefts flying. Pretty soon the four on one numbers get the better of him though and the Corporation stomp him into the canvas. Boos ring out as Reject is allowed back up by the foursome, Fly, Bone Thug and X all standing back as Cuban Wall reaches in and grabs Reject by the throat. The former International Champion then goes up... and DOWN with the Chokeslam, to the applause of the standers-by. COACH Maybe he should have just backed down. Picking Reject up off the canvas, Wall tosses him aside, sending the helpless Reject tumbling over the top and to the floor. COLE They're just going to pick them off one by one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REJECT ENTERED: 15th LEFT: 21st TIME IN RING: 27:10 ELIMINATED: Baron Windels, Denzel Spencer ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sure enough, Brickston is next. The four close in on Brickston who's trapped in the corner, fists clenched. Spanish Fly laughs aloud as Bone Thug dares him to come fight just like Reject tried to do... PRL HEY, FUCKWADS!! Turning around in unison (which gets a cheap laugh), Wall, X, Fly and Bone Thug all look surprised as PRL stands in the centre of the ring AND FLIPS THEM ALL OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh, I get it! PRL is finally tired of living! And who can blame him really? All four SJPC members look at each other and need no more convincing to go after PRL. But suddenly, Brickston bundles into the back of them and the odds become a much more favourable 4 on 2 rather than 4 on 1, PRL throwing left hands with every little bit of energy he has in him as X and Bone Thug while Brickston wails away on Wall and Fly!! Just as PRL starts to slow down, Thunderkid then comes over and starts throwing fists too, making it 4 on 3!! COLE The battlelines have been drawn! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COACH Oh no... not now! "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE Here comes someone who's gonna even the odds! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare sounds out and "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing, as The Mad Cappa sprints to the ring!

Cappa immediately begins slugging it out with The Bone Thug! COLE 4-on-4! The Corporation taking on OAOAST Superstars including Tha Puerto Rican! COACH They’re in control! The Corporation is in control! COLE I’m not so sure about that! Everyone pairs off into the four corners, PR taking on Vitamin X, The Mad Cappa taking on The Bone Thug, Thunderkid taking on Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston taking on Cuban Wall. COLE Only one entrant remaining, and we all know who that is. COACH Yes, The Corporate Giant! Wall rakes Brickston in the eyes, and then goes to help VX with Tha Puerto Rican. Wall uses his CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms to bring PRL to his knees. Vitamin X gets his kicks in as well! COACH Brains & Brawn teaming up on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE If Brains & Brawn eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, do they split the money? COACH Vitamin X would gladly allow his friend to have all of the million. It’s his money anyway! COLE That doesn’t sound like the Vitamin X that I know. Wall and X decide that it’s time now to eliminate PRL. The two men pick Tha Puerto Rican off of the canvas and lift his feet off of the mat! The crowd goes nuts! COACH THEY’RE GONNA DO IT! THEY’RE GONNA DO IT! COLE Brains & Brawn dangerously close to eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is struggling to remain inside the ring, holding onto the ropes! But X and Wall keep trying to dump him…that is until The Mad Cappa rushes over and punches both men! Right jab for X! Right jab for Wall! Back and forth Cappa goes, taking on Brains & Brawn as both of Tha Puerto Rican’s feet return to the mat! COLE The Mad Cappa saving Tha Puerto Rican there, perhaps returning the favor for PRL helping him win the Corporate Lethal Rumble last Thursday! COACH Or because he wants the money. COLE That’s…actually a good point. Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Spit! Punch! PRL battles Cuban Wall, while Cappa handles Vitamin X. The Bone Thug drives in shoulders into Thunderkid in a turnbuckle corner, while Brickston just punches Spanish Fly in another corner. COLE If no Corporate member is eliminated, then Mr. Boricua will give the SJPC the advantage when he enters the ring in just a few seconds! COACH And then, at last, PRL is doomed! Cuban Wall tries his best to dump Tha Puerto Rican as the timer appears on screen. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts up one more time, and the #30 entrant, Mr. Boricua slowly walks to the ring. COLE And there he is, #30! The biggest member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Mr. Boricua! COACH If anyone can eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua can! Mr. Boricua enters the ring by climbing over the top ring rope and immediately pummels Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And now, those 9 men you see in the ring are all that’s left in the Lethal Rumble. One of those 9 men is going to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VII on March 30th. For the past three years, the Lethal Rumble winner has gone on to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania, and you better believe that one of those 9 men wants to extend it to a fourth year at AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Sunday March 30th! COACH And there’s still the matter of the bounty! Nobody has eliminated PRL yet! Mr. Boricua takes PRL down to a corner. He chokes PRL with his right foot. PRL gasps for air with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Mr. B lets go. Suddenly, Spanish Fly zooms across the ring with a Broncobuster on Tha Puerto Rican! Fly gets off of PRL and does a SHIMMY~! to boos! COLE Spanish Fly mocking Colombian Heat, who failed in his quest to win the Undisputed World Heavyweight Title earlier tonight! COACH And his buddy PRL is going to fail in his quest to win the Lethal Rumble Match! Just you wait! With PRL slumped in a turnbuckle corner, Mr. Boricua turns his attention to Thunderkid. Boricua punches Thunderkid, who fires back with rights of his own! However, The Corporate Giant headbutts TK five times, knocking him loopy. COLE Try as he might, Thunderkid can’t compete with Mr. Boricua! COACH Size DOES matter in the Rumble! After getting TK groggy, Mr. Boricua grabs him by his head and starts running with him towards the ropes, throwing Thunderkid over the top rope and onto the floor HARD! COLE And that’s it! Thunderkid is out of the Rumble! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID ENTERED: 27th LEFT: 22nd TIME IN RING: 08:14 ELIMINATED: Alfdogg ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, The Mad Cappa, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Thunderkid is ordered to return to the back, Mr. Boricua picks PRL up. COLE Eight men left standing! And FIVE of them are Corporation members! COACH The odds of a SJPC member winning the Lethal Rumble get greater and greater! COLE And how about this? Each man left in this match is or at one time was a member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH The three rejects in this match never deserved the title of SJPC member. COLE Not even the guy who created the damn group? COACH …Popick made it better. Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! The Mad Cappa joins in, and PRL and The Mad Cappa take turns punching Cuban Wall to the crowd’s delight! COLE Here’s an image that we never thought we would ever see in LAST year’s Lethal Rumble Match! PRL and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP against CUBAN WALL! COACH Oh come on! X, go help your partner! PRL and Cappa take turns punching Wall--and then The Mad Cappa strikes Tha Puerto Rican! COACH So much for that gratitude for last Thursday! COLE Hey, it’s the Lethal Rumble! Every man for himself! COACH That’s your excuse everytime one of your ‘heroes’ does something like this! PRL is stunned…but not stunned enough to not strike back, which he does! Cappa fires back! PRL fires back! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! A slugfest erupts between the two longtime rivals, and the crowd approves! COLE SOOOO much history between those two! It’s not strange to see them slugging it out! COACH But rather strange to see them team up! The slugfest continues until The Mad Cappa gets a few more shots in a row! The punches take PRL to the ropes, where Cappa proceeds to whip Puerto into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses-- VITAMIN X BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROPS THE MAD CAPPA OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!! COACH YES! COLE Vitamin X with some payback for last Thursday! And The Mad Cappa is GONE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MAD CAPPA ENTERED: 29th LEFT: 23rd TIME IN RING: 05:47 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vitamin X taunts Cappa, who spews some venom of his own. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle in the ring. VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” X goes back to telling Cappa to “scram”, laughing the entire time. The Mad Cappa gets up and yells at X, referees holding him back. COLE So the #29 entrant is eliminated, which leaves us with 7 left, with only two of those men not affiliated with the Corporation! COACH The walls are closing in for PRL! He can’t take the pressure! COLE What happens if PRL and John Brickston are eliminated? Do the SJPC fight amongst themselves? COACH Of course! A match against Popick is on the line at AngleMania VII! All of those men want the honor to fight their boss for the World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year! But only one can have it, so yeah, they will fight. COLE You know, there are still 63 days left until AngleMania VII. Popick might not even be Champion by then. COACH Hush, young fool! Referees have to force The Mad Cappa to leave the ringside area! Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall double team Tha Puerto Rican while Spanish Fly has his hands full with John “Rock Hard” Brickston. COLE Two enemies of the SJPC left! One old, the other fairly new! COACH Both in deep trouble now! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choke PRL with their bare hands, while Spanish Fly does martial arts kicks all over John Brickston’s body…that is until Brickston simply grabs the 4’11” Spanish Fly and shoves him into the turnbuckle so that he can lay into him! COLE And the littlest member of the SJPC getting hammered by the 6’6” 215 pound John Brickston, who is making his OAOAST return tonight! COACH Come on Fly! Fight with all your heart! Fight with all of your heart! I believe in you, little buddy! PRL is still getting choked…until he scratches Cuban Wall’s eyes, and then pokes Mr. Boricua in his eyes! Puerto takes a moment to catch his breath, and then grabs Mr. Boricua and starts hammering away at him! COLE And PRL going to work on the biggest man in the SJPC! A man he used to call his bodyguard! PR’s punches take Mr. Boricua over to a turnbuckle corner. PR runs to the opposite corner, and then rushes forward with a Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that he’s not done yet, and runs over to the opposite turnbuckle corner again, to charge forward with a second Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that STILL isn’t enough, so he runs back to the opposite turnbuckle corner, and then comes forward with a THIRD Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! COLE THREE Stinger Splashes! PRL hitting Mr. Boricua with THREE Stinger Splashes to soften up the big man! COACH Come on Boricua! Remember! $1 million! Lots of green paper! You like green paper don’t you, Boricua? The ones with the dead presidents on them? Yeah, those are sweet, aren’t they Mr. Boricua? And if you eliminate PRL, you get a MILLION of them! Isn’t that great? COLE You are talking to him like a baby, Coach! COACH I’m talking up to him! Not talking DOWN! You know Boricua is not all there! COLE Oh come on! Seeing Mr. Boricua groggy, PRL turns his attention to Spanish Fly. Except, that since Spanish Fly is already being taken care of by John Brickston, he has a hard time doing so. Even worse when Brickston turns around and nails Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Like there’s a shocker. Brickston quit The Lightning Crew in April of 2004! COACH That was The Lightning Crew! THIS is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There’s a difference! COLE What’s the difference other than those mindless flunkies following a different egomaniac? COACH Uh…new T-shirts? Brickston turns all of his attention to Tha Puerto Rican, nailing The People’s Champion with numerous rights to the head. The crowd responds overwhelmingly with boos at this. COLE John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s first, and to date, ONLY title reign in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ended at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican when PRL defeated Brickston to capture, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship at The Great Angle Bash back in June 2005! We have not seen much of Brickston since that time, so what a career boost it would be for him if he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, get the $1 million bounty, and then win the Lethal Rumble and go on to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII! COACH Now that you mentioned it…COME ON BRICKSTON! ELIMINATE YOUR FORMER LEADER! SHOW HIM THAT THE STUDENT IS BETTER THAN THE MASTER! Brickston continues pummeling Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall tries to help, only to get a punch in return! Brickston goes back to punching PRL. Wall tries to punch PRL, only to get punched by Brickston again! This causes the crowd to cheer Brickston. Brickston punches PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall! COACH Stop! Stop! Stop it! Focus on PR! FOCUS ON PR! COLE John Brickston in control of Tha Puerto Rican AND Cuban Wall, showing us why he was the OAOAST Italian Champion in the spring of 2005! COACH You HATE PRL, remember!? Get him! GET HIM! Brickston backs himself into a corner, still punching P.R. and Cuban Wall. Unfortunately, it’s the corner Spanish Fly is currently resting in, so the SJPC’s newest member hops onto Brickston’s back with a Sleeperhold! COLE Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold on John Brickston! COACH He’s doing it! Fly is doing it! John Brickston flails his arms around, trying desperately to get the Corporate Turncoat off of his back! But Cuban Wall takes the opportunity to kick Brickston several times in the midsection! PRL shakes the cobwebs out, not noticing what is going on a few feet from him. COLE And the Corporation once again using the numbers game to get their man! COACH And Spanish Fly is showing us how big of a heart he‘s got! COLE It’s a BLACK heart though, after what he did to Colombian Heat! COACH How dare you, you RAYCIST~! Cuban Wall continues kicking Brickston in the stomach. Spanish Fly gets off of Brickston’s back, ending the Sleeperhold. Brickston is doubled over, so Cuban Wall positions him on the ring ropes and grabs his left foot. The Bone Thug comes in and grabs John’s right foot. Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join in, and together, the five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members lift John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s feet up off of the mat, sending them up into the air…and over the top rope, onto the floor! COACH They did it! John Brickston quickly recovers and slaps the ring apron in frustration! He points a menacing finger at the Corporation members, who all respond with evil smiles and taunts. The crowd boos loudly. COLE John “Rock Hard” Brickston is gone! We are down to six! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON ENTERED: 25th LEFT: 24th TIME IN RING: 15:32 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Brickston tries to go back into the ring, but referees and security pull him back down onto the ground! COLE Things are getting a little chaotic here! John Brickston wants to go back into the ring! COACH What a sore loser! COLE He DID get eliminated by four of his arch-rivals and a guy he used to call his friend! COACH So? It’s the Lethal Rumble! You lost, Brickston! Time to go back to obscurity! Spanish Fly taunts the fans and does a SHIMMY~! just to be a dick. PRL is resting on the ring ropes and is watching referees and security having to carry out John “Rock Hard” Brickston, who issues threats to the SJPC as he’s being taken away. COLE John “Rock Hard” Brickston will NOT be challenging for the World Heavyweight Title this year at AngleMania, but one of those six men will! COACH Make that FIVE men, Cole. COLE He hasn’t been eliminated yet, Coach. COACH He will be. Popick said that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that PRL will win the Lethal Rumble! COLE Popick ain’t Nostradamus! COACH But he is our UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COLE That I’ll give you. Vitamin X waves bye to John Brickston, who yells as he is taken to the entrance. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON YOU’RE MINE! YOU’RE DEAD! YOU’RE DEAD! GET OFF ME! YOU'RE MINE! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU REAL SOON! GET OFF ME! COACH You lost, you big baby! COLE You wouldn’t say that right in front of him, would you? COACH Of course not! Referees and security guards finally take John “Rock Hard” Brickston through the curtains. PRL watches him leave. COLE And so it has come to this. And wouldn’t you know it. Every member of the SJPC in the Rumble has stayed through to the end. COACH It’s appropriate that a member of the SJPC get to be the one to crush PRL’s AngleMania dreams! COLE Hey, Popick can give the money to someone in the family! COACH Correct! Not that they need it. Popick pays them well. The 5 members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation all smile evilly, feeling that the end is near for Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua all head to a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican turns around and sees them all staring at him. The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE And here we go. It’s PRL vs. the Corporation. He is all by his lonesome. No Colombian Heat here to watch his back! He is a man on his own, 5-against-1! COACH It is all going along perfectly! Popick is the undisputed Champ, and he will face someone from the Corporation at AngleMania VII! It’s beautiful! COLE This is a situation PRL’s enemies are SO used to. The Lightning Crew-cum-Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation working together, using the numbers game to gain the advantage. They have done so tonight, in the Lethal Rumble Match, and ironically, their last target is the man who led them for over FOUR years! COACH Instant karma’s gonna get you, huh, P.R.? The crowd gets more amped up by the second. Tha Puerto Rican stands in the opposite corner staring at his former running buddies. Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Cuban Wall all have cocky smirks on their faces. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug just stare at PRL with serious expressions on their faces. VX mouths, “No chance!” Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and chuckles. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts and cracks his knuckles. He also yells and screams. The Bone Thug does the cutthroat hand gesture. Spanish Fly sticks out his tongue and does a CROTCH CHOP~!. Through it all, Tha Puerto Rican just stares at the SJPC, never once changing his serious facial expression. COLE Either Tha Puerto Rican pulls off the upset, or a Corporation member is going to AngleMania. COACH The safe bet is to bet CORPORATE! COLE What could be going through the mind of Tha Puerto Rican right now? COACH Probably, (in an annoying high-pitched voice): ‘I should have been a better leader for these guys!’ ‘I should have won the World Title when I had the chance!’ ‘I should have satisfied my girlfriend in bed better!’ COLE Oh will you stop!? The Corporation members get into a huddle as PRL stares at them. COLE He is outnumbered 5-to-1. All of these men at one time allies, friends. If this was January of 2004, 2005, 2006 or 2007, you can bet those 5 guys would have Tha Puerto Rican’s back. Well, maybe not Spanish Fly. Anyway, it is January of 2008, and in January of 2008, Tha Puerto Rican is public enemy #1 for those 5 men! COACH Turn out the lights, the party’s over! COLE A huddle is going on. Perhaps some last minute strategy for the Corporation members. The fans are standing here in the Phillips Arena. A trip to AngleMania VII with a World Title shot is on the line. One of these six men is going to fight the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whomever he may be, at OAOAST AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California on Sunday March 30, 2008! COACH Let’s do this! He’s in trouble now! The SJPC members all high five each other. They turn their attention back to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is still serious. The SJPC members all have evil grins on their faces. PRL puts his right hand out…and tells them to THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT! COLE He’s ready! He’s ready! He wants to get it on! He wants to get it on right here, right now! COACH Let him have his moment, he’s done in a few seconds anyway! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pat The Bone Thug on the back. He then charges forward, and starts punching Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The Bone Thug going to work on Tha Puerto Rican! And it looks like they’re doing this one at a time! COACH No! They want the cousin to have the honor of eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! $1 million for eliminating your own cousin, I’d hit my grandma over the head with a steel chair for $1 million! COLE That’s nice. The Bone Thug takes PRL to the corner he was standing in and kicks him in the midsection repeatedly! COACH Come on Bone Thug! Get ’im! Come on Bone Thug! Get ’im! Bone Thug runs over to where the SJPC are standing, and then charges forward…Turnbuckle Yakuza Kick onto Tha Puerto Rican‘s head! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH He’s got him! He’s got him now! The Bone Thug nods his head at the other Corporation members, and then grabs PRL and takes him over to the ring ropes where he tries to dump him! COLE PR is in trouble now! COACH Look at The Bone Thug! Not even in the OAOAST for a full year and already in the final six in a Lethal Rumble Match! COLE He has come far since he debuted back in February 2007 on OAOAST Syndicated! And he now may be moments away from eliminating his own blood relative! COACH Yes! PR hits The Bone Thug with a back elbow! He then does it again! And again! The Bone Thug lets go of PRL‘s body, and PRL is back on the mat. The Bone Thug goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PR fires off with a punch! Then another! Then another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Uh-oh. The Bone Thug falls to the mat following that last punch, but gets right back up. And PRL is ready, with another punch knocking The Bone Thug back down! Bone Thug is up again, so PRL punches him down again! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! COACH BONE THUG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Tha Puerto Rican grabs The Bone Thug by his right hand, and then gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. P.R. follows The Bone Thug as he heads into the opposite ropes, and then hits The Bone Thug with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and onto the floor! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Oh no! COLE PRL eliminates his own cousin! There goes The Bone Thug! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE BONE THUG ENTERED: 24th LEFT: 25th TIME IN RING: 17:57 ELIMINATED: John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE An impressive showing from The Bone Thug in his Lethal Rumble debut, but it was not to be this year! COACH There are still four guys left! You can do this! You can do this! COLE Four Corporate members against Tha Puerto Rican! The Bone Thug’s elimination causes much concern for the Corporation members. So Spanish Fly charges forward…and gets knocked down with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Vitamin X charges forward, PRL ducks the clothesline, and attacks Mr. Boricua! Once he gets him good and dazed, PRL charges forward and ducks another Vitamin X clothesline, and then follows that by bouncing off of the ropes and hitting X with a flying clothesline taking him down! COLE Down goes The X-Man! COACH Oh come on! Focus! Focus! Focus! Mr. Boricua comes back grabbing PRL and choking him on the ring ropes! COACH Yes! Yes! You got him! You got him now! HA! HA! HA! Boricua whips PRL into a turnbuckle corner. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! The crowd starts panicking! COACH DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Mr. Boricua charges with a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline! Mr. Boricua is confused as to why PRL wasn‘t hit with his MASSIVE clothesline, but PRL calls out Mr. Boricua’s name…and then pokes Mr. Boricua in the eyes! COACH Hey! PRL climbs through the ropes back into the ring and grabs Mr. Boricua to start hammering away at him! One Rock-style punch to the temple after another gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed. Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Mr. Boricua is now on spaghetti legs, so Tha Puerto Rican takes a few steps back…Vitamin X tries to attack and gets knocked down with a punch! PRL takes a step back… COACH Look out Mr. Boricua! Look out! PRL “tunes up the band”…and then hits Mr. Boricua with the Sweet Chin Music! COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Mr. Boricua! Mr. Boricua stumbles, but he does not fall! So Tha Puerto Rican takes a step back…”tunes up the band” again…and then hits Boricua with a second Sweet Chin Music that causes Mr. Boricua to tumble over the top rope and onto the floor! At this, Vitamin X screams, “NO!” COLE ANOTHER Sweet Chin Music! COACH Boricua! No! No! Oh God no! COLE And Mr. Boricua is out of here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MR. BORICUA ENTERED: 30th LEFT: 26th TIME IN RING: 04:37 ELIMINATED: Thunderkid, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican [b]FINAL FOUR: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are now down to the Final Four! One of those four men is going to AngleMania! Just then, Spanish Fly charges after Tha Puerto Rican…and gets tossed out by PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Make that the final three! COACH Spanish Fly! Little buddy! COLE Spanish Fly went FLYING on that one! COACH Oh, that’s rich! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SPANISH FLY ENTERED: 28th LEFT: 27th TIME IN RING: 10:27 ELIMINATED: Leon Rodez, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are down to just Tha Puerto Rican against both members of Brains & Brawn! PRL paces back and forth staring a hole through both Brains & Brawn. COACH This is not looking good! This is not looking good! COLE Tha Puerto Rican can pull off the upset! He can go to AngleMania if he gets rid of X and Wall! Brains & Brawn are very annoyed with PRL right now. COACH Somebody has to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Popick is probably blowing a gasket right now backstage! His hopes of an AngleMania main event without Tha Puerto Rican are dwindling further and further away! COACH This ain’t right! This ain’t Corporate! PRL dares both of Brains & Brawn to fight him. Vitamin X holds an angry Cuban Wall back and tells him, “I got this! I got this!” COLE Is X gonna go at it alone? COACH Yeah! The Prince dethrones the King! Vitamin X goes for a high five, but Wall just stares at him. Moving on, X spits in his hands and rubs them together. He then slowly inches closer to Tha Puerto Rican, getting into a fighting stance. PRL puts his guard up as X comes towards him. Finally, X just goes ahead and tackles PRL into a turnbuckle corner! He then starts punching him in the face! COLE If X eliminates PRL, then he won’t have to part with that $1 million in his bank account! COACH That’s probably more than enough to motivate X into eliminating PRL. VX continues pounding on PRL in the turnbuckle corner! X grabs PRL’s left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner, right into a Big Boot from Cuban Wall! COLE Oh, he can’t have much left! Tha Puerto Rican can’t have much left! COACH He was the first guy in and the second-to-last guy eliminated! Not bad for such a jabroni! Vitamin X says, “YEAH-UH~!” He tells Cuban Wall good job, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. VITAMIN X You like that? You like that? You’re going down! YOU'RE GOING DOWN! Vitamin X SLAPS PRL across the face! COLE Oh! And what a sign of disrespect from Vitamin X! COACH That piece of trailer park trash deserves nothing more! X starts jukin’ and jivin’. COACH Here it comes! I always love this part! VX punches PRL in the face! He then punches PRL in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then SPITS IN HIS RIGHT HAND! X then punches PRL a third time, knocking him down! COLE That dreaded three punch combo from Vitamin X takes Tha Puerto Rican down! COACH Yeah! And he mocked PRL while doing it! HA! HA! Vitamin X shouts out “BOO-YAH~!” to loud boos. X picks Tha Puerto Rican up--and is met with a left hand! And another! And another! Tha Puerto Rican DANCES~! THEN SPITS IN HIS LEFT HAND! And then punches Vitamin X a fourth time, knocking him down! COLE Hey! How about that? A little Shake, Rattle & Roll from Tha Puerto Rican, perhaps a ‘shout out’ to his friend, Colombian Heat! COACH That disgusts me! Copying his own best friend’s moves now!? What kind of a friend is he!? Dispicable! PRL picks Vitamin X up and whips him into the ropes--NO--Vitamin X reverses--PRL bounces off of the ring ropes, Vitamin X puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, and simply kicks Vitamin X in the face! Vitamin X stumbles around the ring, with PRL watching him. KICK WHAM THE CAPPA KILLA!!!!!!! COLE The Cappa Killa! The Cappa Killa from Tha Puerto Rican! Perhaps a ‘shout out’ to The Mad Cappa!? COACH NO! Vitamin X is still on his feet following The Cappa Killa, so Tha Puerto Rican bumrushes him and dumps Vitamin X over the top rope and onto the floor with a clothesline! COLE There goes Vitamin X! COACH That wasn’t an exit fit for a prince! That was not a royal exit! COLE Well, Vitamin X did better than he did last year, so at least he can take comfort in that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ VITAMIN X ENTERED: 6th LEFT: 28th TIME IN RING: 47:48 ELIMINATED: The Mad Cappa, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are seeing the single greatest one-man performance in the history of the Lethal Rumble! COACH Come on Wall! That $1 million could be yours! All yours! Popick won’t mind! The crowd is on their feet! PRL continues firing them up! P.R. then rushes over to the turnbuckle corner where Cuban Wall is standing. Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Down to two men! Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican! Either Cuban Wall gets the $1 million bounty, or Tha Puerto Rican gets another shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest spectacle in parody e-fed entertainment! COACH Come on, Wall! Your boss is counting on you to do your job! $1 million! $1 million! ONE MILLION DOLLARS! PRL, his face filled with RAGE, grabs Cuban Wall’s left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. PR follows with a Stinger Splash onto Wall! Puerto Rican then grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand again, and then whips him into the ropes…Cuban Wall reverses…Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes…right into a GOOZLE~! COACH Oh yeah! Oh yeah! COLE This could end it for Tha Puerto Rican right here! CW taunts PRL while clutching his throat. PRL gasps for air. Wall grabs Puerto’s long red tights and then lifts him up into the air--NO!--Tha Puerto Rican slips out of Cuban Wall’s grasp and lands on his feet right behind him. PRL turns Cuban Wall around… KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHT-- PRL has trouble lifting Wall up! COACH He’s not gonna do it! No way! COLE PRL giving it his all to lift the Corporate Wall off of his feet! COACH Come on! He can’t do it! No way! PRL keeps trying and trying and trying. The crowd roots him on, but the size of Wall is too much to overcome. Finally, PRL gives it one last try and is successful in lifting Wall off of his feet! COLE He’s doing it! He’s doing it! He’s actually doing it! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? The crowd goes nuts as PRL gets Cuban Wall higher and higher off of the mat! COLE He…just…might…do…it! Once P.R. sees Cuban Wall’s feet 3 feet off of the mat, he quickly DRILLS him onto the canvas with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall! COACH AAAAH! Oh no! WALL GET UP! GET UP NOW DAMNIT! The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat, breathing hard. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE But that P.R. Nightmare took a lot out of Tha Puerto Rican! Combine that with being in the Lethal Rumble Match for almost an hour, and it’s no surprise that PRL is down on the mat along with Wall! COACH And Cuban Wall hasn’t been in the match as long as PR has! Not to mention he’s so damn big! He can recover much easier than PRL can! COLE We’ll see! But I believe whoever gets up first is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE The ’Lightning Bolts’ rooting for their hero to get back up! COACH Oh, this isn’t fair! This is not fair at all! Both P.R. and Cuban Wall continue lying on the mat. Both men are sweating, breathing hard, and are in pain. They both got their eyes closed. The crowd is going nuts for The People’s Champion. COLE The Corporation must be on the edge of their seats watching this! COACH Hell, I’M on the edge of my seat right now! COME ON WALL! PRL and Cuban Wall lie still on the mat, sweating, breathing hard, in pain, with their eyes closed. That is until Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH!” COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is up first! And Cuban Wall is still out! PRL bounces up and down inside the ring, getting the crowd fired up. He yells that the match is over! COACH Come on Wall! Tha Puerto Rican looks to the crowd. “THAT’S IT!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican is going for the elimination! Can he eliminate the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall and go to AngleMania? COACH No he can’t! He can’t do it! COLE He just might! He has performed terrifically in this year’s Lethal Rumble! And he is one elimination away from getting another World Title shot, and quite possibly his well deserved one-on-one match with Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh God, I’m going to be sick if he does this! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd. He motions that he is going to throw Cuban Wall over the top rope. COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be going to AngleMania VII! COACH Shut up! PRL goes to pick Cuban Wall up. As he does so, a LOUD resounding chorus of boos fill the arena. This gets PRL’s attention. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK walks to the ring, wearing a black sweatshirt, and carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand, and the OAOAST International Championship belt with his right hand. COACH THE CHAMP IS HERE~! COLE Oh no. What does HE want!? COACH HE’S the Undisputed Champion! He wants a front row seat to find out who he’s facing at AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican curls his lips into a sneer when he spots Popick coming to the ring. Popick runs his mouth as he walks, getting garbage thrown his way. COACH How dare they disrespect Popick in his hometown!? COLE He hasn’t done a damn thing to EARN their respect! COACH He’s the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion for crying out loud! That’s enough to respect him in my eyes! COLE Not for me. COACH Yeah, but you don’t count. You never count. Tha Puerto Rican starts running *his* mouth, which he has no problem doing, as Popick runs his. The two comrades-turned-enemies trash talk each other. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is the man Tha Puerto Rican might face at AngleMania VII if he eliminates Cuban Wall tonight! COACH Oh, how Popick would LOVE to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania VII! Oh, how he would love to do that so much! COLE Uh-huh. Sure. Popick stops at ringside, 4 feet away from the ring and Tha Puerto Rican. He dares PRL to come and fight him right now. PRL dares Popick to enter the ring. COLE You can feel the hatred both of these men have for each other! And you can bet that PRL would love it if Popick remains World Heavyweight Champion from now until AngleMania VII, so that he can win his first World Title from him! COACH Keep dreaming, Puerto. That ain’t gonna happen! COLE Popick being World Champ, or PRL winning the World Heavyweight Title? COACH What do you think, you idiot!? Popick raises both of his title belts into the air, and smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! in response to this. He tells Popick to come into the ring to get a piece of Tha Puerto Rican. Popick goes to enter the ring, but backs off as soon as PR comes close to him. COLE Popick is just taunting PRL! COACH He has TWO belts and PR STILL has ZERO! HA! HA! HA! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK You want this!? You’ll never have it! Never! NEVER! NE-VER! Popick points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and shakes his first finger at P.R. He then points to the OAOAST International Championship belt and also shakes his first finger at P.R. He says, “No chance! No chance in Hell!” P.R. bends down and dares Popick to get into the ring. COLE P.R. wants it now! COACH He’s making a big mistake here. Popick hasn’t wrestled for an hour, you know! COLE He doesn’t care! He’s not waiting until AngleMania! Tha Puerto Rican flips Popick off, and then tells him to “JUST BRING IT!” POPICK You want me to bring it? You want me to bring it? I’ll bring it! Oh yeah, I’ll bring it! I’ll bring it all right! I’ll bring it! I’LL BRING IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU GOT ME! I’LL BRING IT! I’LL BRING IT RIGHT NOW! I’LL BRING IT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! LET’S GO! The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE The crowd wants it now! Tha Puerto Rican wants it now! PRL keeps saying, “Come on! Come on!” But Popick continues running his mouth, issuing threats to The Great One. “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE These fans letting Stephen Joseph know exactly how they feel in his hometown! COACH They’re jealous! All of them! Popick’s the best thing to come out of Atlanta! SJ tells some fans near him to shut their mouths. P.R. tells Popick once again to come into the ring. Popick seems hesitant to do so. COACH Get him, Popick! Get him! The crowd is at a fever pitch. Tha Puerto Rican tells Popick one more time to “JUST BRING IT!” Stephen Joseph Popick sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK All right, that’s it you piece of crap! Your ass is mine! Stephen Joseph Popick drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt onto the floor. He then rolls up his sleeves, spits in both of his hands, rubs them together, jumps up and down in place, lets out a yell, and then rushes forward-- At the same time, Cuban Wall delivers a BIG BOOT to the back of Tha Puerto Rican’s head!!! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Stephen Joseph Popick stops in his tracks as Tha Puerto Rican staggers in the ring thanks to the big boot. He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat. However, that just gives Cuban Wall the perfect opportunity to grab PRL’s legs… …flip Tha Puerto Rican up into the air… …over the top ring rope… *THUD!* …AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN’S WHOLE ENTIRE BODY HITS THE PROTECTIVE MATS, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK STANDING OVER HIM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE WAIT A MINUTE! NO! NO! NO! *DING DING DING* (61:09) [size="4"][b]“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”[/b][/size] Popick immediately starts jumping up and down in celebration. Tha Puerto Rican is only face down on the ground for two seconds before he lifts his head up and looks up to the ring to see that his worst fear has come true. COLE CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 29th TIME IN RING: 1:01:09 ELIMINATED: The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [b]TEH WINN0R~!:[/b] Cuban Wall ENTERED: 18th TIME IN RING: 32:17 ELIMINATED: “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, Reject, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co), Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation snags the Lethal Rumble Match for the first time ever! COACH And it’s the CORPORATE Wall that does it for them! HA! HA! HA! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick unrolls his sleeves and dusts his hands, an evil smile on his face. Fans throw garbage in his direction, which causes Popick to taunt those that do. COLE And you know what this means… COACH Yes, Cuban Wall gets the $1 million! COLE AND Cuban Wall will face Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII! COACH Oh, that is a Dream Match to be sure! Cuban Wall gets to live out his dream in front of over 100,000 people in the L.A. Coliseum! It doesn’t get any better that that! Tha Puerto Rican sits up on the outside, PISSED OFF~! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania, and Tha Puerto Rican is LIVID! PRL looks at Popick, who is pointing and laughing at him. This is more than enough for Tha Puerto Rican to get up and chase Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick tries to back off, but PR grabs him and starts punching him in the face to the crowd’s delight! COACH Look at this! COLE And PR taking it to the World Heavyweight Champion! To the man who ROBBED him of his shot at the belt at AngleMania VII! COACH It was Cuban Wall who threw him over the top rope! COLE But it was Popick who distracted him! Popick used PR’s own hatred against him to lure him away from Cuban Wall, and therefore LOSE the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Popick didn’t screw P.R. P.R. SCREWED P.R.! Popick fights back with a few punches of his own, but Tha Puerto Rican is able to quickly regain the advantage, nailing his former “Career Consultant” with rights and lefts! Popick becomes dazed because of these punches, and staggers back to the entrance with PRL following him, hitting him in the back as they run! COLE PR is beating the hell out of the Champion! COACH He choked…AGAIN! And he was so close this time too! COLE He didn’t choke! He was SCREWED! COACH He didn’t get the job done. Again. That is the important thing. No wonder Lindsay, Popick, and everyone else dumped his ass! Popick goes for a punch near the entrance, but PR blocks it, and then chases Popick through the curtains. COACH Go get him Popick! Cuban Wall is on his knees raising his hands in victory while looking up to the sky. Referee Earl Hebner raises Wall’s hands in victory to loud boos. COACH This is without a doubt the greatest night in Cuban Wall’s life! A guaranteed, GUARANTEED trip to the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII and an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match is in the future for that man right there! And he’s also now $1 million richer thanks to eliminating his ex-boss! There ain’t no better time than now to be Cuban Wall! COLE Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican! We will have an All-Corporate AngleMania VII main event on March 30th! COACH It’s going to be the CORPORATE AngleMania! Cuban Wall gets up and walks around the ring raising his hands in victory as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. COLE Cuban Wall has shocked the world! He has pulled off the upset! COACH How is this an upset? He’s 6’7 285 pounds for crying out loud! COLE Be real, Coach! He wasn’t a favourite to win! Zack, Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican! THEY were some of the favourites! Not a lot of people thought Cuban Wall would get this far, but he has! HE is the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner! COACH Well now Cuban Wall can join some of the greats in the annals of time! His name is now listed among all of the other Lethal Rumble winners. TheSoleSurvivor, Angle-Plex, Calvin Szechstein, Axel, Alfdogg, Zack Malibu, and now CUBAN WALL! The GREATEST of them all! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania! Cuban Wall is now $1 million richer! Cuban Wall is now in contention for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COACH Oh yeah! Dreams DO come true here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air and lets out a mighty roar! The crowd boos loudly. Wall gives the crowd the “Up yours!” gesture and then does the Corporate Salute! The camera cuts to the entrance where Vitamin X is walking to the ring with a champagne bottle in his right hand and a glass in his left hand. The Bone Thug, a serious expression on his sunglasses-covered face, walks to the ring behind X, also carrying a glass in his left hand. X has a wide EVIL smile on his face, laughing manically as he applauds his partner’s victory. COACH Let the celebration begin! COLE The SJPC members coming out now to celebrate Cuban Wall’s victory! COACH He deserves it! This is his night! This is the Corporation’s night! VX enters the ring and offers his buddy a handshake, which Wall accepts. The fans boo, disgusted by all of this. The Bone Thug enters the ring and nods his head at Wall. Wall nods back. The Bone Thug has a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head and another one covering his mouth. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, he too carrying a glass in his right hand, and he gives Wall a great big bear hug lifting him off of the mat! Mr. B squeezes Cuban Wall a little too tight, and Wall has to yell at Boricua to let go. MR. BORICUA Sorry. CUBAN WALL That’s okay, Boricua. Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring, also carrying a glass in his right hand, and he congratulates Wall on winning the Lethal Rumble Match. Thomas hugs Wall. Spanish Fly, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, and Princess Stacey all enter the ring, each one carrying a glass, and they all congratulate Cuban Wall too. Lindsay gives Wall a hug and a kiss, as does Princess Stacey. Spanish Fly high fives Cuban Wall and then pulls him in for a hug. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is out here in full force, celebrating the victory of THAT man, Cuban Wall! COACH This is his night! He has never been happier! COLE He is the #1 Contender! He gets his shot at AngleMania on March 30th! COACH I love it! Stephen Joseph Popick comes out through the curtains, dusting himself off. He has a cigar in his mouth and a glass in his right hand as he comes to the ring, applauding Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly. COLE And Popick is back out here! COACH All right! He gets to celebrate with his family! COLE I have been told that Tha Puerto Rican is backstage being held back by security! Seems as though security broke up the fight between PRL and Popick! COACH Good! Make sure that sore loser stays far away from the SJPC! Do NOT let him ruin this for them! Stephen Joseph continues applauding Wall as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He congratulates Wall with a handshake, and then pulls him in for a hug. Popick tells Wall, “I knew you could do it!” Wall says, “Thank you, Boss.” Popick says, “See you at AngleMania!” COLE Stephen Joseph Popick, if he is a man of his word, will now pay Cuban Wall $1 million for eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! COACH ‘If’ he is a man of his word? Oh Michael Cole, he IS a man of his word! He damn well is! COLE Somehow I doubt that, but if you say so. Either way, the money stays in the Corporation, as Vitamin X’s partner in Brains & Brawn gets $1 million from X’s bank account! COACH 1 million smackeroos for the Muscle for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Now THAT’S a payday! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE …Did Vitamin X just tell Michael Buffer to announce the winner again? COACH Why yes he did. COLE Oh brother. Oh come on now! Stephen Joseph Popick raises Cuban Wall’s right hand in victory and points to him. He then poses for the fans himself. The crowd boos loudly. Popick takes a cigar out of his right pants pocket and hands it over to Cuban Wall. Popick then takes another cigar out from his right pants pocket and hands it over to Vitamin X. He repeats the process with Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez. Cuban Wall lights up his cigar with a lighter handed to him by Thomas Rodriguez, and then takes a giant puff. Wall blows out smoke into the arena. Wall grins evilly. COLE And now some celebratory cigars. COACH Straight from Cuba! Cuban Cigars for Cuban Wall! COLE That’s nice. COACH It is, isn’t it? Screw those smoking bans! The male members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation walk around the ring with cigars in their mouths and glasses in their hands. Vitamin X lights his cigar up, as does Stephen Joseph Popick. Mr. Boricua chomps down on his cigar, while Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez pose with cigars in their mouths, unlit. The two female members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation just applaud Wall, Lindsay having the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her left shoulder. Cuban Wall laughs it up with Popick, gloating over his victory. The Bone Thug just stares at the crowd with a cigar in his mouth. COLE Regardless of who wins at AngleMania VII, the World Title will stay in the Corporation. COACH And that’s just what Popick wants! He predicted it! He prophesized it! He said that there was ’No Chance In Hell’ that Tha Puerto Rican would win the Lethal Rumble Match…and he was right! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick baited Tha Puerto Rican! He distracted him allowing Cuban Wall to pick up the victory! Fireworks explode over the ring. Pyro goes off from the ring posts. Pyro explodes in the entrance. Cuban Wall smiles, then laughs maniacally. COLE I bet Popick used his Corporate Connections to set this up too, didn’t he? COACH Probably. It is an awesome fireworks display, though, am I right? Cuban Wall hugs Popick as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds has to be restarted. Spanish Fly enters the ring with both the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt. He hands both belts over to Popick. Popick thanks Fly for that, and then raises both belts in the air to tremendous boos. Popick sneers at the crowd. COLE And he has cause for celebration too. He is now the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COACH That’s right! Everything went his way tonight! This was the perfect CORPORATE night for Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE We now have an Undisputed World Champion, and if all goes according to Popick’s plan, then Stephen Joseph Popick vs. Cuban Wall for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship will be the main event for OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30, 2008 from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! COACH It is going to be the greatest main event in AngleMania history, hell, the greatest main event in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! Garbage gets thrown into the ring. Popick puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder. Vitamin X grabs the champagne bottle and shakes it up. The cork pops, and then X pours champagne into everyone’s glasses. COACH Time to pop the bubbly! Mr. Boricua grabs the bottle and drinks from it, until Cuban Wall snatches the bottle away from him…and drinks from it himself. COACH It must be nice, expensive champagne. But he’s earned it! Garbage is still being thrown into the ring. After everyone has a glass filled with champagne, the SJPC members all gather around in a circle. POPICK A toast to the CORPORATE #1 Contender, Cuban Wall! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION CHEERS! Everyone in the SJPC taps their glasses together and then drink the champagne. COLE 63 days from now Cuban Wall is going to be in the biggest match of his career. In just 63 more days he could be the next World Heavyweight Champion! COACH And best of all, Tha Puerto Rican is no where near the Title scene! COLE He’ll be in the hunt, I’m sure. But he’ll just have to wait 64 more days until his next shot! COACH Like Wall would ever give him a shot! How about 164 more days? Or 264? Or 364? Or 464? Or 564? Or 664? Or 764? Or 864? Or 9-- COLE Coach, we get it! COACH Ass. Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug head to the four turnbuckle corners and climb onto the second turnbuckles, each one with a cigar in their mouths and a glass in their hands. Spanish Fly does The Outsiders “pointing” taunt along with Thomas Rodriguez and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Princess Stacey claps her hands. Mr. Boricua spits out the chomp bits of his cigar, and then snorts, screams, yells, and cracks his knuckles. COACH This is how you do a celebration! A CORPORATE celebration! COLE Oh come on now! COACH This is beautiful! I am getting choked up watching this! COLE Oh please! Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder, takes a giant puff from his cigar and then blows it out into the crowd. He then offers a “toast” to the fans, and then downs the rest of his glass of champagne. He then sneers at the crowd. Vitamin X also takes a giant puff from his cigar and blows it out into the crowd, as does Cuban Wall. Wall, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug all finish their glasses of champagne too. THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Popick gets off of the second turnbuckle and hugs Vitamin X. He then hugs Cuban Wall again. X pours himself, Popick, and Wall more champagne and they continue drinking as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. COLE He had help. Popick lended him a helping hand! He distracted PRL! COACH I don’t care how he did it! The important thing is we have got ourselves an all CORPORATE AngleMania main event! Popick vs. Wall! I can’t wait! Stephen Joseph and Cuban Wall head to opposite turnbuckle corners and raise their hands in victory. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick points to her husband saying, “That’s my man!” While Vitamin X points to Cuban Wall and says, “YEAH! BOO-YAH~!” The crowd boos. COLE Popick, Cuban Wall, both victors tonight! And they are both now on a collision course to AngleMania VII! COACH This is going to be so cool! I can’t wait! The countdown is on! 63 days and counting! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick are on the Road To AngleMania VII! SJP gets off of the second turnbuckle and offers up another toast with his Corporation members. They all drink the champagne again, and then Popick high fives Wall and VX. He kisses his wife on the lips. The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the Lethal Rumble Match, starting with Stephen Joseph Popick pretending that he was going to attack Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Popick had him distracted! He acted like he was going to fight PRL, but it was all a ploy! Cuban Wall had recovered from the P.R. Nightmare and gave Tha Puerto Rican a big boot to the back of the head! P.R. stumbled, Cuban Wall grabbed P.R. by the legs and lifted him up and over the top rope and onto the floor! Tha Puerto Rican was eliminated, Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on PRL and Cuban Wall is ALSO going to AngleMania VII! And Stephen Joseph Popick couldn’t be any more happier! His arch-rival is not going to be in the AngleMania VII main event! But Popick himself might be if he remains OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion from now until March 30th! COACH I knew he could do it! I knew he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match and he is going to AngleMania! The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to live action as the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all continue celebrating in the ring, gloating over their victory. They all laugh maniacally and pose for the fans. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick becomes the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion in his hometown. Cuban Wall gets the biggest win of his career thus far and is going to be in the main event of the biggest show of the year. This was without a shadow of a doubt the biggest, most memorable night in the history of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, and we’ll see you this week on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Stephen Joseph Popick pours champagne from the champagne bottle onto Cuban Wall’s head. Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez and Spanish Fly all dump the champagne from their glasses onto Cuban Wall’s head too. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Princess Stacey, The Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua all applaud Cuban Wall some more. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all laugh maniacally. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air again as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends. The crowd boos loudly. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ WAY TO GO! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK CONGRATS WALL! SPANISH FLY EXCELLENT JOB, BRO! PRINCESS STACEY WOOOOO! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRR. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK EXCELLENT! SIMPLY EXCELLENT! VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! CUBAN WALL YEAH! Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez continue their celebration even as the credits roll and people begin leaving the Phillips Arena. With “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds having just ended, the only sounds you hear in the arena are of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation whooping and hollering and boos from the fans that are still in their seats. But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is still celebrating, happy over what’s gone down tonight as Stephen Joseph Popick is still the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion and Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, in addition to $1 million. But they are also celebrating because of one very important fact: Tha Puerto Rican is NOT going to AngleMania. [b]FADE OUT[/b]

I ASSURE you that the Lethal Rumble Match will be done by 1 a.m. I ASSURE you.

Can I Borrow A Feeling? Just Kurt's picture on the album cover is enough for a laugh. That and Homer's reaction.

"THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" The crowd immediately stands up and starts booing as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" plays over the P.A. system. The AngleTron lights up with a picture of The Bone Thug posing in front of a gray background that has the words "THE BONE THUG" written on the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters, and a Puerto Rican flag underneath that. Finally, the crescendo hits, and a huge burst of pyro hits the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes The Bone Thug along with Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos even louder since the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST is accompanying The Bone Thug. COLE Well, here we go. Time for our main event here on HeldDOWN~! tonight! Bone Thug is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth, and a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, so the only thing that you see is his eyes. Bone Thug walks down the entrance ramp with Stephen Joseph giving him words of encouragement. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Corporate Lethal Rumble Match, with the winner to receive the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! Introducing first, entrant #1, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 232 lbs. Representing the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. He...is...THE BONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! The Bone Thug continues his walk to the ring as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE A first for HeldDOWN~!, a CORPORATE Lethal Rumble. Superstars from the SJPC along with other OAOAST Superstars already in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday will battle it out for the #29 spot in the actual Lethal Rumble Match! COACH And it wouldn't surprise me if a member of the Corporation won the whole thing! COLE Are you talking about the Corporate Lethal Rumble or the actual Lethal Rumble? COACH Both. COLE Oh. The Bone Thug stops near the ring. He looks at Stephen Joseph Popick and nods his head. Bone Thug climbs the ring steps and then enters the ring. Thug walks around the ring, raising his hands in the air to boos. Bone Thug pulls down the Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth, revealing the rest of his face. Popick applauds Bone Thug from the outside. COLE And I'm sure that Stephen Joseph Popick would love for one of his men to win this match as well as the Lethal Rumble on Sunday! COACH Obviously, Mikey Cole! It would be an honor for Popick to defend the World Heavyweight Championship against one of his men from the SJPC at the biggest event of the year, AngleMania VII. A HUGE honor. COLE Well first off, Popick would have to win his Triple Threat Match against "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Colombian Heat for the Undisputed OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday! Not to mention either Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, or Spanish Fly would have to outlast 29 other men to win the Lethal Rumble Match also this Sunday! COACH Popick's a shoe-in to win his match, and with five of the greatest superstars in the world today in the Lethal Rumble, a member of the Corporation is SURELY going to be the victor! I mean, who do you think will win? Tha Puerto Rican? With the #1 spot AND a #1 million bounty on his head? HA! HA! COLE Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Coach. The Lethal Rumble Match is unpredictable. Anything can happen in that one match! And it’s only a few more days away! This Sunday night, the Road To AngleMania VII begins, but before then, we will find out who will be the 29th man to enter the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! The Bone Thug says something in Spanish to Popick. He then says something in Spanish, possibly derogatory, to the crowd, and then to the camera. COLE It is going to be one hell of a preview to the Lethal Rumble Match! Fasten your seatbelts, the CORPORATE Lethal Rumble is just a heartbeat away! We'll be right back right after these messages! Stay tuned! The Bone Thug jumps up and down in place. He takes a deep breath and then exhales through his mouth. He does this several times. This is the last image we see before we take a commercial break. *FADE OUT* Commercials STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Let's do this thing! COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, you heard him. Stephen Joseph Popick is joining us here on commentary for this match-up. POPICK That's right, the CORPORATE Lethal Rumble! A match *I* made up, thank you very much! Only from the mind of Stephen Joseph Popick could a match of this caliber be devised! COACH You tell 'im, Popick! POPICK Thank you, Coach. Pleasure to be here with you. COACH Believe me, it is an honor to have you sitting here with us here in Sofa Central! POPICK It's the least I can do for one of my biggest fans! COLE I think he's the only fan that you got in this arena! POPICK Quiet, you! Shut up and enjoy the match! Stephen Joseph Popick sits next to Michael Cole and watches the match intently. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lies on top of the announce table. POPICK This is going to be a good one! Let's just see who will be #29 this Sunday in the Lethal Rumble! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. The Bone Thug looks to the entrance. COLE 4 other superstars already in the Lethal Rumble Match will compete in this match-up for the #29 spot. They were drawn at random. Let’s find out who the first of those 4 superstars are! "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and "Showtime" Shayne Brave comes out to loud cheers, especially from the females in attendance. Brave is all by himself, but still does the usual D*LUX entrance, striking a pose and then walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way, his OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship belt strapped around his waist. BUFFER Entrant #2. Coming to the ring at this time. From Detroit, Michigan. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is one-third of the One And Only AngleSault Thread Tag Team Champions of the woooorrrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddd! "SHOWTIME" SHAYNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE! COLE "Showtime" Shayne Brave! One-half of D*LUX, and one-third of The Love Generation, but he has yet to make an impact as a singles superstar. Imagine the boost his career would have if he wins the #29 spot tonight and goes on to win the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday? POPICK It would be a HUGE boost! And I have no qualms about defending the World Title against him at AngleMania VII. It would most def be a classic match! COACH You have no qualms about whoever wins the Lethal Rumble this Sunday, do you? POPICK No, Coach. Whoever wins doesn't matter to me. Whether it is a member of my Corporation or another OAOAST Superstar, they are in for the fight of their life come AngleMania VII! COLE What if Tha Puerto Rican wins the Lethal Rumble on Sunday? POPICK Oh Cole, poor naïve Cole, Tha Puerto Rican has NO CHANCE IN HELL of winning the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday, so I'm not even going to worry about him! COLE Careful, Popick. Don’t get too cocky. POPICK Excuse me, who's the World Champion? Me or you? Thought so. Now shut up! COACH Yeah, shut up Michael Cole! POPICK Thanks for the backup, Coach. COACH Anytime, Champ! Shayne Brave continues walking down the entrance ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans around ringside. The Bone Thug just stares at Shayne, waiting for him to enter the ring. COLE So, we're set to start the Corporate Lethal Rumble with The Bone Thug vs. "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Rules are the same as the regular Lethal Rumble you'll see this Sunday at Anglepalooza. You're eliminated when you go OVER the top rope and BOTH FEET touch the floor! Entrants come in at equally timed intervals. POPICK This should be barnburner as you say. COLE I never say that. POPICK Yes you do. COLE Since when? POPICK Since now, damnit! Shayne Brave enters the ring--The Bone Thug attacks Shayne before he even puts his feet on the mat! A few punches later, and Shayne Brave is taken to the outside! COLE The Bone Thug starting the match early! POPICK That’s how we do it in the Corporation! Strike first! No mercy! The bell rings. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 dies down. *DING DING DING* CORPORATE LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH The Bone Thug rushes towards the ropes and FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO SHAYNE BRAVE WITH A TOPE CON HILO~! POPICK That's it! That's it! COLE The Bone Thug flying over the top rope, taking out Shayne Brave before he enters the ring! COACH Dang, Bone Thug went flying! The Bone Thug gets on top of Shayne Brave and hammers away at him! Referee Mickey Jay tells Bone Thug to get off of Shayne Brave. But The Bone Thug gets up and starts stomping on Brave. COLE I think The Bone Thug just eliminated himself from the match! COACH What!? Already! POPICK He’s eliminated? Damn it! COLE I thought you said it doesn’t matter to you who wins? POPICK It doesn't, I just hoped it would have been a Corporation member too! I'm pulling for my men of course! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: The Bone Thug Time in ring: 0:06 eliminated: none eliminated by: N/A Left in ring: N/A ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Bone Thug picks Shayne Brave up and slams his face on top of the ring steps! COLE The Bone Thug doesn’t care that he eliminated himself, he just wants to hurt somebody! POPICK That’s how The Bone Thug works! He has no respect for ANYBODY except for myself and the SJPC! All of his opponents are his mortal enemies in his eyes! COLE I can see why he chose to stay with you rather than stick with his cousin, Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK Don't pull that bull with me, Cole! You and I both know how much of an ass PRL was since he debuted in the OAOAST! Just because he's not with me, all of a sudden he's a hero to you! Puh-leeze! Give me a break, Michael! The Bone Thug throws Shayne Brave headfirst into a ring post! He then starts stomping on him while more referees come out to try and restrain him! But Bone Thug grabs Shayne by his hair and slams his face on top of another set of ring steps! Thug picks Brave up and punches him in the face several times, before grabbing him and taking him over to Sofa Central where he proceeds to slam Brave's head on top of the announce table! COLE Shayne Brave being manhandled by a guy he's had no interaction with whatsoever in the OAOAST! POPICK The Bone Thug doesn't particularly HATE Shayne Brave, he just likes doing an ass whooping! And he's doing one right now! COLE Why don't you stop him!? POPICK Why? I am enjoying this! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! POPICK ARRIBA LA RAZA~! to you too, Bone Thug! ARRIBA LA RAZA~! to you! The Bone Thug stomps on Shayne Brave on the outside! He unstraps the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship belt from Shayne's waist, and then stomps on Brave's back some more! Referees Mickey Jay and Mike Chioda are still trying to get Bone Thug to go back to the dressing room. The Bone Thug slams Shayne's head on top of a barricade. COLE Bone Thug has been eliminated. Shayne Brave not eliminated because he never officially entered the ring! A rookie mistake cost Bone Thug the #29 position in the Lethal Rumble Match! And it seems like the referees have finally managed to get Bone Thug to listen to them! POPICK He refuses to speak English, but he understands them perfectly! COLE He better. I don’t think any of our referees are bilingual. COACH They're bi a lot of things-- COLE Stop it. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! COLE Who is the 3rd entrant? 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up. The entrance doors slide open, and Spanish Fly runs down the entrance ramp into the ring. The Bone Thug has entered the ring and is attacking Shayne Brave! COLE Spanish Fly the next entrant into the Corporate Lethal Rumble, but The Bone Thug is still in the ring! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Spanish Fly quickly goes on the attack, stomping on the weakened Shayne Brave! COLE Oh this is fair. Bone Thug and Spanish Fly! And The Bone Thug isn’t even supposed to be out here! POPICK Corporate unity! I love it! COLE Popick, one of your men eliminated himself! He's not supposed to be in the ring! COACH So? POPICK Yeah, so? I am enjoying this ass kicking being given to one Shayne Brave! Even I didn’t kick his ass this bad when I beat him and his life partner for the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles a few years ago! COLE That was certainly a crowning moment in your career! POPICK Oh hush up, you! Spanish Fly takes Shayne Brave over to a turnbuckle corner and proceeds to attack him with martial arts kicks all over his body. He finishes it off with a jumping back kick to the jaw! This causes Shayne Brave to slump down onto the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. COLE Well, The Bone Thug has finally left the ring. Thank God. Spanish Fly smiles evilly. The crowd boos loudly. Fly jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle corner. COLE And now this! POPICK That's it! That's it! Spanish Fly does the low-rider hand gesture, and then charges forward…giving "Showtime" Shayne Brave a Broncobuster to LOUD boos! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Shayne Brave! Spanish Fly stealing a move from Colombian Heat's playbook! POPICK Oh yeah! That was great! He did the Broncobuster better than Colombian Heat EVER did! HA! HA! HA! Spanish Fly gets off of Shayne Brave and does a SHIMMY~! to further mock Colombian Heat. POPICK HA! HA! I love it! COLE Spanish Fly mocking his former best friend and one of YOUR opponents this Sunday night at Anglepalooza in the Triple Threat Match! POPICK Believe me, Heat is going to get more than a Broncobuster at Anglepalooza, I'll tell you that much! Felix Strutter too! He wants some, he'll more than get some this Sunday night! Spanish Fly pulls Shayne Brave from the turnbuckle and picks him up. He starts punching on the groggy member of D*LUX as the crowd boos. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLE The fans are rallying for someone not even in this match! COACH Spanish Fly has ALWAYS been better than Colombian Heat! Always! COLE I seem to recall Colombian Heat winning the Ladder Match at November Reign not Spanish Fly! POPICK Spanish Fly was holding back! He wasn’t being his true self! This is the REAL Spanish Fly in action! The CORPORATE Spanish Fly! And the next time he meets Colombian Heat in the ring, he will show Heat he is the better man once and for all! COLE I thought Spanish Fly had more integrity, more morals than that. But I guess everyone has a price, including Spanish Fly! POPICK He finally realized where he belonged. With us. Here in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. That’s all. Spanish Fly picks up Shayne Brave and beats him up some more. After telling the crowd to "SHUT UP!" He gives Shayne an Irish Whip into the ropes. Fly goes for a spinning heel kick--Shayne ducks--bounces off of the ropes--and hits Fly with a flying clothesline! COLE Flying clothesline from Shayne Brave, who looks worst for wear now! POPICK Oh come on Fly! Don’t let that boyband wuss get the best of you! Come on! Make me proud! Spanish Fly is shaken from the flying clothesline, but he soon gets back onto his feet. He kicks Shayne Brave just as he’s getting up, and then starts stomping on him. Fly then chokes Shayne with his right foot! COLE Underhanded tactics from the Corporate Sellout, but there are no rules in a Lethal Rumble Match! The only rule is that you are eliminated when both feet touch the floor! And the winner of this match gets the #29 spot in the real Lethal Rumble Match coming up this Sunday at Anglepalooza! POPICK This Sunday is truly going to be the greatest night of my and my Corporation's career. I will become the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion. One of my men will win the Lethal Rumble Match. And I am going to be in my hometown too! COLE That's right, Anglepalooza is going to be held in Atlanta, Georgia this year. POPICK That's right. HOTLANTA, GA! My home sweet home! In front of my family and friends, I shall have the greatest night of my entire life! I cannot wait! Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up and tries dumping him over the top rope and onto the floor! COACH Look at this! Look at this! Suddenly, the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. The entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall runs down the entrance ramp and enters the ring over the top ring rope. COLE Another Corporation member, Cuban Wall! POPICK 2 Corporation members against one unlucky SOB! Awesome. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Spanish Fly is hammering away at Shayne Brave in a corner, so Cuban Wall comes in and takes over with his Soupbones all over "Showtime" Shayne's body. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is in control of a member of D*LUX! But it is going to be every man for himself this Sunday! POPICK True, but I've spoken to my Corporation, and their mission is clear for this Sunday: win the Lethal Rumble and make sure that Tha Puerto Rican does NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT even come close to the end! COLE A $1 million bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican. And that's not just for the Corporation, but that's for everyone in the Lethal Rumble Match, right? POPICK Absolutely. It doesn't matter who it is. Does NOT matter. Whoever eliminates PRL gets $1 million in cash right after the pay-per-view is over! I will personally deliver the cash myself too! COACH Oh Popick, you are such a humanitarian! POPICK Thank you Coach. I appreciate the compliment! COLE Oh brother. COACH He's like my brother from another mother! COLE Ugh. Cuban Wall chokes Shayne Brave with his right foot. He calls Spanish Fly over. Wall whips Shayne right into Spanish Fly, who hits Shayne with a spinning heel kick! COLE Spanish Fly and Cuban Wall, members of the SJPC, dismantling Shayne Brave! POPICK Excellent CORPORATE work! I approve! HA! HA! HA! COLE Well usually it's every man for himself in this type of match-up, but it looks like the SJPC is going to stick together! Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up. He holds him up for Cuban Wall, who rushes forward and NAILS Shayne Brave with a Big Boot! Wall does the Corporate Salute to boos! POPICK The Corporate Salute! Not The Lightning Crew Salute! Uh-uh! No more! That's the CORPORATE Salute right now! Cuban Wall laughs manically. Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up and tries to dump him over the top rope! Cuban Wall helps out, and the two SJPC members do all they can to eliminate "Showtime" Shayne. POPICK That's it! Dump him! Dump him! Dump him! COACH We could have another elimination! POPICK I love it! Right here in front of us! Eliminate him! Eliminate him! Suddenly, the timer appears on screen. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Success" by Jay-Z begins playing. The crowd boos as the entrance doors slide open, and Christopher Patrick Allen runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! COLE Uh-oh. That ain't the cavalry! That's a rival of Shayne Brave! "Success" by Jay-Z dies down. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly are double teaming on Shayne Brave in the corner when CPA enters the ring. He grabs Cuban Wall and starts beating on him in another turnbuckle corner! COLE And look at this, CPA and Cuban Wall are going at it! The crowd erupts at the sight of the 6'6" 280 pound CPA taking it to the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall! The two big men of the OAOAST slug it out in a turnbuckle corner while Spanish Fly slugs it out with Shayne Brave in the other turnbuckle corner. COLE We have wrestlers pairing with each other now! The ring is starting to fill up. POPICK They're fighting for the 29th spot in the Rumble! This match is HUGE for all of them! Cuban Wall gains control of CPA, while Shayne Brave finally gains control of Spanish Fly! Brave whips Spanish Fly into the ropes--Spanish Fly reverses--Shayne Brave bounces off of the ropes--right into the waiting arms of Cuban Wall who hiptosses Shayne Brave OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Whoa! COACH Woo-hoo! Look at that! COLE Shayne Brave has been eliminated from this match! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: "Showtime" Shayne Brave Time in ring: 3:22 eliminated: none eliminated by: Cuban Wall Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Christopher Patrick Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We have our 2nd elimination. POPICK EXCELLENT work, Wall! Caught him by surprise! COLE Wall shocking Shayne with hiptoss! And the Corporation once again has the 2-on-1 advantage! Cuban Wall goes to work on CPA as Spanish Fly rests on a turnbuckle corner. Wall grabs CPA and whips him into the ropes. Bossman Slam! COLE Oh my! What a maneuver from Cuban Wall! A giant Bossman Slam on the similar sized Christopher Patrick Allen! POPICK AW YEAH! FORGET ABOUT IT! CPA is NO MATCH for the Corporate Wall! COLE The Corporate Muscle in control of the Director Of Security for The Enterprise! POPICK It's the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation vs. The Enterprise, and guess what? The Corporation is winning! COLE And that makes you very happy, right? POPICK Oh yeah, definitely! Cuban Wall beats on CPA while Spanish Fly gets a few kicks in as well. Suddenly, the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! COLE And who's it gonna be? "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 starts playing again causing the crowd to cheer loudly as the entrance doors slide open, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant runs down the entrance ramp and meets up with Cuban Wall! A slugfest erupts between the two of them! COLE Tyler Bryant enters the ring and the first person he goes after is Cuban Wall, the man who eliminated his partner Shayne Brave from this match-up! POPICK Tyler is looking to avenge his boyfriend’s loss, I see. Tyler shockingly gains advantage of Cuban Wall, while Spanish Fly tries unsuccessfully to dump CPA. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 dies down. POPICK He's the smallest member of the Corporation, but he has the biggest heart! That's what Spanish Fly is all about! COLE Spanish Fly, at 4'11", is desperately trying to eliminate Christopher Patrick Allen, who stands 6'6" and weighs in at 280 lbs.! COACH He's doing it! He's almost doing it! Spanish Fly has CPA's feet off of the mat, but that's as far as he's getting with the big man. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall pairs up with "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant in another turnbuckle corner. POPICK That's what I love about the Lethal Rumble Match! Non-stop action! COACH And the Corporate Lethal Rumble is no exception! POPICK That's right, Coach! Tyler Bryant continues duking it out with Cuban Wall in a turnbuckle corner while Spanish Fly STILL continues trying to dump CPA over the top rope. Tyler tries to dump Cuban Wall, but Wall is just too damn big for the 6'0" 196 pound Bryant. Spanish Fly just punches CPA, who punches back. But Fly manages to gain advantage of CPA and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner where he slams his hand on the top turnbuckle pad! COLE We’re getting down to the nitty gritty. There's only one more Corporation member left and one more OAOAST Superstar left! Remember, the OAOAST Superstar was drawn at random! So we still don't know who that last man is! POPICK It's certainly not Tha Puerto Rican! COLE No! PRL is #1, thanks to you last week! POPICK I know. Ain't I great? COACH You sure are, Popick! POPICK That's right, and I got the belt to prove it! COLE A belt you might not have for much longer. POPICK Shut up, Michael Cole. COACH Yeah, shut up! Cuban Wall grabs Tyler Bryant and slams his face on top of a turnbuckle pad! He then proceeds to choke Tyler on the turnbuckle! POPICK Corporate Wall going to work! HA! HA! Wall scoops Tyler up onto his right shoulder. He drops Tyler jaw-first onto the top turnbuckle pad! Snake Eyes! Bryant stumbles around the ring, so Cuban Wall waits for Bryant to get near the ropes before charging forward and clotheslining "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant over the top rope and onto the floor! Tyler’s face hits the ring apron as he falls to the protective mats on the outside! POPICK HA! HA! Goodnight Tyler! COLE And Tyler Bryant is eliminated! POPICK SEE YA~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant Time in ring: 1:54 eliminated: none eliminated by: Cuban Wall Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Christopher Patrick Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant is eliminated, which means that neither member of D*LUX will be the 29th entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday! POPICK Nice try, kids. Better luck next year! Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly double team on Christopher Patrick Allen while the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company begins playing which causes the crowd to cheer loudly! The entrance doors slide open, and Leon Rodez comes storming down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! COLE And here we go! The last OAOAST Superstar has entered the match! Only one more entrant left! "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company dies down. As soon as Leon slides into the ring, CPA charges forward with a clothesline. However, Rodez ducks, CPA bounces off of the ropes, and right into a standing dropkick from Leon Rodez, knocking him down! COLE Rodez in the ring, and he meets up with someone he's been having problems with since last year! Leon waits for CPA to get up. When he does, Rodez flies with a flying forearm knocking CPA down again! COLE He got him again! POPICK Rodez looking quite impressive here! COLE Impressive enough to win the Lethal Rumble Match? POPICK Maybe. As long as it's not Tha Puerto Rican, I don't give a damn who I face at AngleMania VII! COACH Like it'll be Tha Puerto Rican this Sunday, Stephen! With the #1 spot and the $1 million bounty? POPICK Heh, true dat, Coach. True dat. COACH Double true! Leon Rodez picks Christopher Patrick Allen up and beats on him in a turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly look on. COLE We got 2 Corporate members, a member of The Enterprise, and Leon Rodez, and we are just seconds away from the entrance of Vitamin X, the last wrestler in the Corporate Rumble! Rodez whips Christopher Patrick Allen into the ropes--NO--CPA reverses--CPA puts his head down, so Leon kicks him right in the face! Rodez starts hammering away on CPA, getting the big man dazed and confused. Rodez's punches take CPA to the ropes. Rodez takes a few steps back and charges forward-- SPANISH FLY NAILS CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAT SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR! COACH YO~! POPICK YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! SPANISH FLY WAY TO GO! YEAH BABY! TAKE HIM OUT! TAKE HIM OUT! COLE Spanish Fly with a big time Roundhouse Kick, and Christopher Patrick Allen is GONE! POPICK EXCELLENT! WAY TO MAKE ME PROUD, FLY! WAY TO GO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Christopher Patrick Allen Time in ring: 3:22 eliminated: none eliminated by: Spanish Fly Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spanish Fly celebrates his elimination of a man twice his size. Leon watches him celebrate, and after looking to the crowd, Leon shrugs his shoulders, grabs Spanish Fly by his stirngy hair and tights, and just throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! POPICK NO! COLE Spanish Fly's celebration cost him the match! COACH Poor little critter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Spanish Fly Time in ring: 4:10 eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen eliminated by: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cuban Wall grabs Leon Rodez and starts slugging it out with him! COLE And now Cuban Wall and Leon Rodez are going at it! And Leon is no stranger to the SJPC! Remember his battles with them almost two years ago! POPICK That was The Lightning Crew. This is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There's a difference, you know. Back and forth Leon and Wall go, with neither man gaining the advantage! Wall gets a few more punches on Leon then Leon does on him, but Rodez stops that with a thumb to the eye! POPICK Hey! COLE Leon strikes, gaining the advantage! POPICK Come on Wall! Don’t let us down! Rodez punches Wall in the face several times! He gets one of the big men of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation good and groggy before grabbing Wall’s left hand and giving him an Irish whip into the ropes. Rodez rolls through and hits Wall with a clothesline! COLE The Shack Attack! COACH He was reeling, but now he's in control! Come on Wall! Cuban Wall is stunned, but he does not fall! So, Leon grabs Cuban Wall and tries to dump him over the top rope! COLE If Leon does this, then the hopes of a Corporation member being #29 rests on Vitamin X's shoulders! POPICK He's not gonna do it! Cuban Wall is just too damn big! COLE He might! The #29 spot is on the line here! Rodez keeps trying to dump Wall onto the floor! POPICK NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Rodez manages to get Wall off of his feet! COLE He's getting close! Leon is getting close! POPICK COME ON! COME ON WALL! COACH WE GOT TROUBLE! Leon gives up trying to dump Wall, and just starts punching him in the face. Cuban Wall punches back. Another slugfest erupts as the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd responds with a resounding chorus of boos. The entrance doors slide open and Vitamin X comes walking down the entrance ramp, a determined look on his face. COLE And there is the last entrant! One of these three men will have the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday! Leon Rodez once again tries to dump Cuban Wall out. Neither men notices Vitamin X's entrance theme song playing. COLE After his pathetic performance last year, can Vitamin X more than make up for it with the #29 spot this Sunday? POPICK He will! One of Brains & Brawn will win the #29 spot! Trust me! VX sees that Leon is busy trying to eliminate Cuban Wall, and that is when he makes his move, sliding in underneath the bottom rope and rushing over. He grabs both Leon and Wall's legs… --flips them over… --Leon Rodez and Cuban Wall go over the top rope… --Leon Rodez's feet hit the floor! Cuban Wall's feet hit the floor! COLE There goes Wall and Leon Rodez! Vitamin X has won the Corporate Lethal Rumble! Vitamin X is #29 in the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! POPICK YEAH BABY! YEAH! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Elimination: Leon Rodez Time in ring: 1:58 eliminated: Spanish Fly eliminated by: Vitamin X Left in ring: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Elimination: Cuban Wall Time in ring: 8:08 eliminated: "Showtime" Shayne Brave, "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, eliminated by: Vitamin X Left in ring: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINNOR~!: Vitamin X Entered: #8 Time of Participation: 0:08 Eliminated: Leon Rodez, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Vitamin X just eliminated his own partner to win! POPICK But he won! I am very pleased with this result! A Corporate member is #29 in the Lethal Rumble Match! Vitamin X celebrates his victory by doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to LOUD boos. He laughs manically. COLE Not even 10 seconds in the match, and Vitamin X is #29 in the Lethal Rumble! Unbelieveable! POPICK Excellent job! Vitamin X is sitting on top of the world now! Vitamin X taunts the booing fans, some of who throw garbage into the ring. X goes back to doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT! I'M GOING! I'M #29! POPICK That's right, X! You're #29! You're #29! Way to go! The X-Man continues doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. BUZZ~!!! COLE What? POPICK What the--? *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to cheer loudly! Vitamin X is shocked! "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and THE MAD CAPPA comes walking down the entrance ramp, staring a hole through Vitamin X! COLE The Mad Cappa!? The Mad Cappa is the last entrant!? POPICK WHAT!? COACH Wait a minute! He can't be in this! COLE Why not!? COACH Because he's not in the Lethal Rumble Match! COLE He is now apparently! POPICK Who did this!? AngleSault! Was it AngleSault!? Was it him that did this!? DAMNIT WHO DID THIS!? The Mad Cappa runs right into the ring! POPICK NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! Vitamin X goes for a punch--BLOCKED! The Mad Cappa fires off with punches! Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! The Mad Cappa whips Vitamin X into the ropes. Lou Thesz Press! COLE Lou Thesz Press! Lou Thesz Press on Vitamin X! Cappa gets up, charges forward, bounces off of the ropes and drops a double axehandle onto Vitamin X! Cappa then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE Cappa in control of Vitamin X! The final entrant, the surprise entrant in the Corporate Lethal Rumble Match! The Mad One waits gets into position. He stands up straight on the top rope…and then jumps off of it, hitting Vitamin X with a legdrop right across the throat! COLE Top rope legdrop from The Mad Cappa! POPICK DAMNIT! X, GET YOUR HEAD BACK INTO THIS MATCH! COME ON! The Mad Cappa yells out, "HE'S FINISHED!" and the crowd cheers loudly! POPICK No! No! No! No! He’s not finished! He's not finished! He's not! No way! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! No way! No way! NO WAY! COLE Can Cappa do it? Can he win the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match!? POPICK SHUT UP MICHAEL COLE, YOU'RE NOT HELPING! Mad Cappa picks Vitamin X up--and gets hit with a low blow! POPICK Yes! COACH Phew. COLE Vitamin X with a low blow, saving himself there! POPICK He brought himself some time! He brought himself some much needed time! The Mad Cappa clutches his groin in pain. Horrible, horrible pain. COLE Desperation manuever that time by Vitamin X. POPICK Let's go, baby! Win that spot! This match was yours! Don't let this surprise distract you! Win this match! Win it for yourself! Win it for the Corporation! BUT JUST WIN IT DAMNIT! Vitamin X crawls around the ring while The Mad Cappa continues holding his groin. Cappa rests in a turnbuckle corner, holding his Johnson while VX is on his knees near the ropes, catching his breath. COLE Vitamin X has not yet won the Corporate Rumble! POPICK But he will, Cole! He will! Just you wait! Vitamin X uses the second ring rope to pull himself up. He is already breathing hard and has sweat pouring down his face. POPICK X is gonna handle this! He's gonna get rid of CRAPPA! He will! I know he will! I have faith in him that he will get the job done right now! Vitamin X is on his right knee. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? POPICK WHAT!? "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing! Vitamin X is stunned! He is shocked when the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican steps out onto the entrance stage! COLE Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican is here! POPICK Oh no. NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM! Tha Puerto Rican walks down the entrance staring at Vitamin X! VX stares back. PRL mouths off to his former Second-In-Command, and VX has no problem talking back to his former boss. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is here, and he looks ready to fight! POPICK We'll see how ready he is this Sunday, when he's got 29 other men trying to throw his ass out of the ring! We'll see then how ready he is! PRL stands near the ring, running his mouth on Vitamin X. VX runs his mouth too, and the two former allies talk trash to each other. VX uses the ropes to stand, continuing to talk trash as he does so. COLE Vitamin X has been distracted by the arrival of Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK Oh come on, X! Focus! Focus! COACH Yeah, X! Look behind you! The Mad Cappa is still in this match! POPICK Yeah, look behind you! BEHIND YOU DAMNIT! PRL motions for X to "JUST BRING IT!" and X is more than willing to bring it. X stands upright and dares PRL to get into the ring. PRL taunts VX some more. COLE They're going to get it on right here! They're gonna duke it out live on HeldDOWN~! POPICK Aw come on! Focus! FOCUS! The crowd is at a fever pitch. They get louder and louder by the second. COLE Here we go! It's gonna happen! Right here, right now! COACH LOOK OUT X! POPICK YEAH, LOOK OUT! COLE This could get ugly any second now! PRL tells Vitamin X to turn around. Vitamin X does so. KICK WHAM BUST A CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 COLE BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP on Vitamin X! COACH No! No! No! No! POPICK AW COME ON! DAMNIT! NO! Vitamin X is out cold! The Mad Cappa glances over at Tha Puerto Rican, who is staring right at him. The Mad Cappa then grabs Vitamin X by his blue football jersey and picks him up. COACH Oh no! Not this! POPICK GET UP, X! GET UP! The Mad Cappa plays to the crowd, pointing all over the arena, and then runs with Vitamin X to the ropes… POPICK NO! NO! NO! COACH NO! The Mad Cappa launches Vitamin X OVER the top rope... ...AND ONTO THE FLOOR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vitamin X's jaw hits the bottom rope on the way down and his back hits the ring apron! *DING DING DING* (09:45) COACH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REAL Final Elimination: Vitamin X Time in ring: 2:30 eliminated: Leon Rodez, Cuban Wall eliminated by: The Mad Cappa Left in ring: The Mad Cappa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH REAL WINNOR~!: The Mad Cappa Entered: #9 Time of Participation: 1:35 Eliminated: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE The Mad Cappa has won the Corporate Rumble! The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match! BUFFER Here is your winner...AND the 29th entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza this Sunday, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE Cappa is in the Rumble as the 29th entrant! The Mad Cappa did it! "Know Your Role 2000" is still playing as Tha Puerto Rican gets all up in Vitamin X's grill, taunting him while The X-Man lies face down on the ground! He flips two middle fingers to VX. Meanwhile, The Mad Cappa celebrates his victory in the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican said that he would make it up to Cappa for last week's beltshot this week, and I think this is what he meant by that! He has helped The Mad Cappa gain the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Why? He HATES The Mad Cappa! COLE Because he has a heart! Because he feels sympathy for his fellow man! Because he has RESPECT for The Mad Cappa! If you want proof that Tha Puerto Rican has changed, this is all the proof you need right here! POPICK Enough of this mushy crap! Don't you see what happened here!? Vitamin X was ROBBED! No one told me that The Mad Cappa was in the Lethal Rumble Match! NO ONE! Vitamin X was SCREWED tonight! HE WAS SCREWED GODDAMNIT! COLE No one knew! He must have been added earlier tonight! Regardless, The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match, in part due to Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican looks up to The Mad Cappa. The Mad Cappa stares at PRL. PRL nods his head. Cappa nods back. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face, and The Mad Cappa points to him. Cappa raises his hands in victory. POPICK He wasn't even in the match for five minutes! COLE Neither was Vitamin X! POPICK So what!? X was screwed tonight! This whole situation SUCKS! COACH You tell 'em, Stephen! COLE The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match! POPICK NO! Tha Puerto Rican taunts Vitamin X further, flipping him two middle fingers again, and then walks back up the entrance ramp looking at The Mad Cappa who is getting his hands raised by referees Mickey Jay and Mike Chioda. He laughs as he walks up the entrance ramp. POPICK Yeah, laugh now. For you will cry on Sunday night! PRL, you will PAY for your evil deed tonight! You are going to PAY at Anglepalooza! I've added to my army for one night only. 29 other men will want to eliminate you. Destroy you. Crush you. Why you ask? Because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that you will win the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! NOT AT ALL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is #1 and The Mad Cappa is #29! POPICK OH, I HATE THEM BOTH! I HATE THEM BOTH SO DAMN MUCH! Tha Puerto Rican looks at Vitamin X lying on the floor one more time and laughs. He looks at The Mad Cappa who is still in the ring and points at him, saying, "I told you that I would make it up to you, didn't I?" The Mad Cappa mouths, "Thanks." Referees check on Vitamin X as Tha Puerto Rican exits through the sliding doors. POPICK PRL WILL PAY FOR THIS, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH! UGH! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is #1! The Mad Cappa is #29! Mr. Boricua is #30! The rest will be revealed this Sunday night at Anglepalooza! The Road To AngleMania VII starts in less than 72 hours, but Tha Puerto Rican has struck first blood right here tonight! Wrestling fans, stay tune to OAOAST Syndicated this weekend, as we countdown to Anglepalooza, and the Lethal Rumble! And the OAOAST will be out in full force for Anglepalooza on Sunday the twenty seventh! Goodnight everyone from Calgary! Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey have come out to check on Vitamin X, who is still lying face down on the protective mats. Cuban Wall curses Tha Puerto Rican's name, even though he has already left through the entrance doors. Princess Stacey looks worried for her man. The Mad Cappa raises his hands in victory again while the crowd cheers loudly. Vitamin X is able to lift his head off of the protective mats and turn it to look at the entrance, upset over his loss. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey ask Vitamin X if he's okay as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image we see before we fade out. FADE TO BLACK

I'm working on the Corporate Lethal Rumble right now. I should have it done by midnight or 1 a.m. at the latest.

Why were they doing pay-per-views on the first Sunday of the month anyway?

Okay, so I want to do a mini-Lethal Rumble on this week's HeldDOWN~! for the #29 spot (since Mr. Boricua is #30, natch). It's being "held" by Stephen Joseph Popick, so therefore I'm calling it a Corporate Lethal Rumble since Popick's the leader of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and what not. Anyway, the four other Lightning Crew/SJPC guys who are already in the Rumble are in the match. I just need four more guys who are already in the Lethal Rumble Match and I'll go ahead and write it for this week's show. They could already be in matches on this week's show, it doesn't matter. Wrestlers who already competed earlier in the show are also in the Lethal Rumble Match, right? Same thing here. So if I can have four other wrestlers who are already in the Lethal Rumble Match, that'd be great. Thanks in advance. Also: -Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation promo about Anglepalooza -Tha Puerto Rican/The Mad Cappa/Colombian Heat segment -Stephen Joseph Popick segment

You know where to stick it! “Work it[i]make it[/i]do it[i]makes us[/i]harder[i]better[/i]faster[i]stronger[/i]” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The pulsating beat of “Stronger” by Kanye West alerts the crowd that the World Heavyweight Champion of the OAOAST is coming out, which causes the crowd to start booing loudly. White pyro comes cascading down over the entrance doors, blanketing the entrance. When the pyro disappears, Stephen Joseph Popick is on the entrance stage, his back turned to the fans, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Popick’s arms are outstretched in a crucifix position. [b]“I NEED YA RIGHT NOW!”[/b] *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* Stephen Joseph turns around, a wide sinister smile on his face. He plays to the jeering audience, each one letting Popick know exactly how they feel about him. He points to both sides of the arena, and then points to the entrance. The entrance doors slide open, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick comes out, the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her right shoulder as usual. Lindsay smiles evilly, and then kisses her hubby on the lips. Arms linked, the happy couple walks down the entrance ramp as “Stronger” continues playing and the crowd boos. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and wife, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women’s Champion, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. From Atlanta, Georgia. Weighing in at 225 lbs. He is the leader of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the wooooorrrrllllllllllldddddddddddddd! STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Popick taunts the fans who dare try to touch him or his wife. He laughs evilly. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick set for in-ring action tonight on HeldDOWN~! And tonight has gone his way! Tha Puerto Rican is the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match, and not only that, but there is a $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican’s head! The person who eliminates Tha Puerto Rican in the Lethal Rumble will get $1 million straight from Vitamin X’s bank account! COACH It is the best way to ensure that Tha Puerto Rican DOES NOT leave Anglepalooza the #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Title! EVERYBODY in that match will want that $1 million prize! Tha Puerto Rican has No Chance In Hell of winning the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza! COLE Also earlier tonight, we saw that BOGUS match between PRL and Vitamin X take place! PRL was beaten down by the ’Corporation’. It was all a trap! COACH And a BEAUTIFUL trap at that! Popick said that PRL and The Mad Cappa would experience ’Corporate Hell’ tonight, and he’s been a man of his word thus far! Popick points a menacing finger at a fan, and then jogs up the ring steps. After stopping to pose again, Stephen Joseph scales the turnbuckle closest to him and puts one leg on the top ring rope. He scans the crowd, presumably to find any Popick fans in the crowd, and he has little luck in finding them in this audience. Still Popick smirks while Lindsay applauds her husband. COLE Now, it’s Cappa’s turn to get ’Corporate Hell’. Remember, on the New Year’s Spectacular two weeks ago, it was Popick who pinned The Mad Cappa to win the match and retain his Title after shoving Cappa into Tha Puerto Rican! He also pulled Cappa's jeans while pinning him too! COACH Popick’s ’Master Plan’ came into fruition! Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! COLE We heard enough of that in the weeks leading up to the New Year’s Spectacular! The plan is done, thank God! COACH And it was a success too, I might add! Now it’s time to concentrate on Anglepalooza, the Triple Threat Match for the Undisputed OAOAST Title, AND the Lethal Rumble Match with PRL as #1! Popick chuckles, and then jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring. COLE That’s right! We are just 10 days away from the start to the Road To AngleMania VII, Anglepalooza, with the 30-man Lethal Rumble Match! And we now know that Tha Puerto Rican is #1, Mr. Boricua is #30, and also in the match are Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, and all of the wrestlers in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Popick unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and raises it over his head to loud boos. He walks around the ring raising the belt in the air while Lindsay stays on the outside and looks on, sighing lovingly. Popick kisses the belt and then hands it over to referee Earl Hebner, who then gives it to a ringside attendant. The ringside attendant then walks over and hands the belt to the timekeeper who places it on top of the timekeeper’s table. COLE Also at Anglepalooza, Popick will be in a Triple Threat Match to determine the undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. “After Hours” Felix Strutter puts his OAOAST International Championship on the line! Popick puts his OAOAST World Title on the line! And Colombian Heat, the winner of the Battle Royal on the New Year’s Spectacular, hopes to make history once again, winning his first World Heavyweight Title in the process! COACH Lightning will NOT strike twice for Colombian Heat. You see what I did there? Lightning, Puerto Rican Lightning? PRL is friends with Colombian Heat. Do you get it? COLE No. COACH Damn you, Cole! Popick stretches in the ring. He jumps up and down in place and looks to the entrance as “Stronger” continues playing. COLE A non-title match for Popick tonight. COACH A ‘warm up match’ if you will. COLE For Popick, maybe. But The Mad Cappa is looking for some payback for the New Year’s Spectacular. COACH Well, he’s going to have to keep looking! There’s no way he’s gonna get it tonight! COLE We’ll see Coach. In about a few moments! This is only the SECOND one-on-one match between The Mad Cappa and Stephen Joseph Popick in OAOAST history. The first match took place at AngleSlam back in August of 2004 when Popick defeated The Mad Cappa to win the, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship. COACH And then Popick proceeded to have the greatest Italian Championship reign in OAOAST history! COLE 'The greatest Italian Championship reign in OAOAST history'!? Coach, he BARELY defended the Title, if at all! He held the belt for almost NINE MONTHS, and yet barely anyone noticed he even had the damn Title! COACH That’s your way at looking at it! My way of looking at it is Popick was so powerful nobody wanted to fight him! August 29, 2004, a great day in Popick’s career. The day that he became the OAOAST Italian Champion, the GREATEST one of them all! COLE You are such a Popick kiss-ass, you know that!? Anyway, a stipulation for that match was that if The Mad Cappa lost, he would have to join Popick’s Inten5e stable, a stable that included PRL, Tony Brannigan, and Dan Black. That stable quickly fell by the wayside, but not this new stable Popick is in control of. The newly named Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is stronger than ever, and all eight members have one goal in mind: the complete and total elimination of Tha Puerto Rican, Colombian Heat, and The Mad Cappa from the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COACH And they can get rid of The Mad Cappa tonight! “Stronger” by Kanye West dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for The Mad Cappa’s entrance. A “CAP-PA!” chant already starts. But Popick ignores the chant and just looks to the entrance. COLE The Mad Cappa vs. Stephen Joseph Popick, one-on-one, for the first time ever on HeldDOWN~! coming up right now! [i]*1, 2, 3! Hit it!*[/i] The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to cheer LOUDLY. The lights go down in the arena. “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. Red spotlights circle the arena, while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. Some fans chant “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” to the beat of the song. COLE Listen to this ovation for The Mad Cappa! COACH What!? I can’t hear you! COLE I said…oh nevermind! A single spotlight shines on the entrance stage. The Mad Cappa’s back is turned to the audience. The crowd pops anyway. Cappa starts dancing, bringing the crowd to life. He stops and then turns around, striking a B-Boy stance on the entrance stage. Mad Cappa smiles a wide smile and then begins walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Northern Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. This…is…THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Mad Cappa slaps hands with the fans, but then stops when he gets closer to the ring. Popick taunts him from in the ring. COLE The Mad Cappa has been on the warpath since December when he turned his back on Stephen Joseph Popick! Since then he has been made an enemy of The Lightning Crew--now the SJPC! COACH And tonight, the leader of the SJPC gets him right where he wants him! COLE Will The Mad Cappa experience ’Corporate Hell’ tonight? The Mad Cappa jaw jacks with Popick from outside of the ring. After several more seconds of jaw jacking, Cappa runs towards the ring, sliding into the squared circle! Popick goes for a clothesline, but The Mad Cappa ducks, bounces off of the ropes…and hits Popick with a Lou Thesz Press! COACH The bell hasn’t even rung yet! Earl Hebner sees this and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* [b]“Corporate Hell” STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick) vs. THE MAD CAPPA[/b] “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” dies down. The Mad Cappa is on top of Popick and pummeling him with lefts and rights! COLE Now it has! The Mad Cappa has struck first blood in this contest! Cappa gets off of Popick and then picks him up. The Mad Cappa gives Stephen Joseph Popick an Irish whip into the ropes. Clothesline by The Mad Cappa! The Mad Cappa whips Popick into the ropes again. Back elbow from Mad Cappa! He goes for the cover, hooking Popick’s right leg! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE It was nearly a year ago on this very program that Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican lost the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles to Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. What a difference a year makes! COACH A classic match, nominated for TV Match of the Year at the 2007 OAOAST Angle Awards! But believe it or not, Popick is even BETTER than he was when he held the HI-YAH Tag Titles! That is why he is the World Heavyweight Champion right now. COLE Well that, and some cheating. COACH Quiet, you! TMC picks Popick up. He starts punching the face of the OAOAST World Champion, causing much worry for Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Cappa once again grabs Popick by his right hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Popick reverses--inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline to knock Cappa down! COLE And just like that, Stephen Joseph Popick is back in control! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of the night! The crowd boos. Lindsay looks on as Popick taunts the crowd and then picks The Mad Cappa up. He punches Cappa in the face several times. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cappa’s entrance into the ring and Lou Thesz Press on Popick. COLE The Mad Cappa started the match off hot with that Lou Thesz Press, but now the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, the leader of the SJPC is in control of The Mad Cappa! Popick takes The Mad Cappa over to a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Cappa’s head on the top turnbuckle pad. Afterwards, Popick punches Cappa in the face several times. He then kicks Cappa in the gut several times. Stephen Joseph switches between punching and kicking Mad Cappa. He switches to kicking, and starts stomping a mudhole in The Mad Cappa, making sure to walk it dry! “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK SHUT UP! COLE That’ll cause them to stop. COACH Shut up! COLE Okay. Popick kicks The Mad Cappa in the gut repeatedly. He chokes Cappa with his right foot. EARL HEBNER Come on now! Break it up! One! Two! Three! Four! Popick lets go at the count of four. He feigns innocence, but the OAOAST Senior Referee isn’t falling for it. SJP pulls TMC out from the turnbuckle and then lifts him up. High angle neckbreaker! Popick goes for the cover, hooking Cappa’s right leg! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE The Mad Cappa got the shoulder up that time! The match continues, with Stephen Joseph Popick in control of The Mad Cappa! Popick is annoyed that that wasn’t the finish, but marches on. POPICK COME ON CRAPPA! Popick picks Mad Cappa up. Stalling neckbreaker! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick targeting the neck of The Mad Cappa! We all know how many neck injuries The Mad Cappa has had throughout his career, and it looks like Popick wants to give Cappa ANOTHER one here tonight! SJP picks Cappa up. “CAP-PA!” “CAP-PA!” “CAP-PA!” “CAP-PA!” Popick mocks the crowd’s chanting of “CAP-PA!” and then takes Cappa to another turnbuckle corner where he slams Cappa’s head on the top turnbuckle pad again! He sets Cappa up. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *DOUBLE CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” POPICK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Popick chuckles and then gets on the second turnbuckle and starts hammering away at Cappa’s skull! The Mad Cappa responds with a low blow on Popick! COACH Hey! He can’t do that! COLE I don’t think the referee saw that! COACH Disqualify him, ref! Low blow! Low blow! The crowd cheers loudly! Popick holds his groin in pain. Cappa shoves Popick off of the second turnbuckle, so that Popick lands HARD back-first onto the mat! The Mad Cappa shakes the cobwebs out, and then rushes to the ropes, bounces off of the ropes--LINDSAY TRIPS THE MAD CAPPA! COLE That little jezebel! COACH A HOT little jezebel at that! The crowd boos Lindsay for that act. Cappa slides out of the ring and confronts Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick about this little transgression! COACH He wouldn’t DARE hit her, would he!? COLE I don’t know! But The Mad Cappa is NOT in a good mood right now! Cappa mouths off to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. But Lindsay can talk the talk too, and she runs her mouth on The Mad Cappa! Cappa becomes increasingly annoyed with Popick’s wife, so he grabs Lindsay by her hair and cocks his right fist! COLE He’s gonna do it! COACH NO! NO! DON’T! Lindsay screams for help! Cappa pulls his fist back…and is attacked by Popick from behind! COACH Oh thank God! Thank you Popick! Thank you very much! COLE Stephen Joseph coming to the aid of his wife in the nick of time! COACH What kind of role model is he!? Attacking a poor defenseless woman like that!? COLE Hey, she tripped him! COACH And that means he should punch her in the face!? What the hell is wrong with you!? You’re sick, Michael Cole! You know that? You’re sick! Popick attacks Cappa repeatedly on the outside! Stephen Joseph lifts Cappa up, and drops him onto the barricade! Popick steadies himself, and then clotheslines The Mad Cappa over the barricade and into the crowd! COLE Uh-oh! Popick and The Mad Cappa are on the outside right now! COACH Get Popick away from the unwashed masses! COLE Oh will you stop!? Popick himself goes over the barricade and picks Cappa up. He punches Cappa in the face several times, and kicks him in the gut a few times as well. SJP clotheslines Cappa over the barricade and back into the ringside area again! COACH Short trip, bad landing! HA! HA! Popick climbs back over the barricade and into the ringside area again. He picks Mad Cappa up and punches him in the face several times. He kicks Cappa in the gut a few times as well. Popick stops to pose for the booing fans! COLE No love being shown for the World Heavyweight Champion here in Halifax, Nova Scotia! COACH Pfft. Canadians. What do they know? COLE Uh, Coach, you do realize that Popick’s wife is from Canada right? COACH Lindsay is the only good thing to come out of Canada! As Popick continues his posing with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauding her husband, The Mad Cappa jumps onto the top of the barricade and waits for Popick to get near him…CAPPA HITS POPICK WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE! COACH OH NO! The Mad Cappa gets on top of Stephen Joseph and starts hammering away at him! Lindsay screams for Cappa to stop, but obviously, that ain’t going to work! Cappa stops punching Popick to give him TWO middle fingers, and then punches him in the face with a right hand one more time before getting off of Popick and posing himself! The crowd cheers loudly! COLE Popick stopped to pose, and he paid the cost! COACH He’s playing possum! That’s all! He’s playing possum! GET UP POPICK! STOP PLAYING POSSUM! GET UP NOW AND KICK THE MAD CAPPA’S ASS! Cappa plays to his adoring public and then picks up the weakened OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. TMC punches Popick in the face and then throws him back into the ring. COLE And now The Mad Cappa is back in control of the OAOAST Champion! COACH This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! COLE How so? COACH BECAUSE POPICK IS GETTING BEATEN! COLE Why am I not surprised that that was going to be your answer? COACH Because you know me so well! COLE Sometimes I wish that I didn’t! The Mad Cappa enters the ring himself. He picks Popick up. Popick is now dazed. Lindsay starts panicking on the outside. The Mad Cappa gives Popick a forearm shot to the face! He does it again! And again! And again! The Mad Cappa whips Popick into a turnbuckle corner--Popick reverses--The Mad Cappa leaps onto the top turnbuckle and leaps off of it with a Side Swinging Moonsault onto Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE Side Swinging Moonsault! Could that be all!? 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POPICK KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!! COLE A close fall for The Mad Cappa! 1 second away from beating the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH He couldn’t do it on the New Year’s Spectacular, and he’s NOT going to do it tonight! COLE We shall see, Coach! Cappa is putting up quite the fight! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows The Mad Cappa’s flying clothesline from the top of the barricade. COLE The Mad Cappa went FLYING there! COACH Oh yeah, really rub it in, Cole! He caught Popick off guard! Popick wasn’t prepared for him that time! COLE You would think a World Champion would be better prepared-- COACH Don’t you start, Michael Cole! Don’t you dare start! The Mad Cappa picks Stephen Joseph Popick up. COLE I’ll tell you what, The Mad Cappa isn’t in the Lethal Rumble yet, but after tonight’s performance, the OAOAST Board of Directors may consider giving him a spot in the match! COACH Then it’ll be more proof that the OAOAST Board of Directors are on drugs. The Mad Cappa punches Popick in the face several times. He then switches to forearm shots to the face. After four forearms, The Mad Cappa spins around, and throws a discuss forearm to Stephen Joseph Popick, knocking him down! COLE The IMPACT! Popick is down! The crowd is starting to come alive. Cappa exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He gets into position. Suddenly, Spanish Fly runs down the entrance ramp and shakes the top ring rope, causing The Mad Cappa to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top rope! COLE That sellout is out here! COACH Don’t call him a sellout! He made the right decision! Spanish Fly laughs maniacally while the crowd boos loudly. Cappa tumbles off of the top rope and collapses onto the mat, holding his no-no place. COLE Spanish Fly, the shortest member of the SJPC! COACH But he has the biggest heart! Spanish Fly stays at ringside to watch the action…that is until Colombian Heat shows up and attacks Fly! COLE Wait a minute! Colombian Heat is here! COACH WHAT THE HELL? Colombian Heat pummels his former running buddy to the crowd’s delight! Heat slams Fly’s face on top of a barricade! Heat punches Fly some more! COLE Colombian Heat taking it to his former best friend! COACH Fly, do something! Do something now damnit! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly battle it out on the entrance ramp! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Stephen Joseph Popick picks The Mad Cappa up! He punches Cappa in the face several times. He whips him into a turnbuckle corner--The Mad Cappa reverses--Popick reverses again--The Mad Cappa runs right into Earl Hebner! The referee collapses onto the mat! COLE Oh! And the referee is down! The Mad Cappa is shocked by this turn of events! So shocked, he doesn’t notice when Popick grabs him from behind in a Full Nelson! The crowd buzzes, knowing that something is coming up that they won’t like. Indeed, Stephen Joseph walks with The Mad Cappa to the opposite turnbuckle and sets his feet on the second turnbuckle. COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Popick looks to the crowd, smiles evilly…and then jumps off the top rope, over The Mad Cappa, pulling Cappa over into a Full Nelson Suplex, but shifting his body in mid-air so that he lands on his ass to do a Stone Cold Stunner on Cappa! COLE Finality! Finality on The Mad Cappa! COACH He hit it! He hit his move! The crowd boos loudly as The Mad Cappa falls to the mat! Popick quickly covers The Mad One…except that there’s no referee. Popick is annoyed greatly at this. COLE Popick hit the Finality! But there’s no referee! COACH Oh, why did Cappa have to hit the referee!? Stupid Cappa! COLE You know, The Mad Cappa might have saved himself there! COACH I know, and that’s what sucks about this! Stephen Joseph Popick slaps the mat in frustration and then goes to wake Earl Hebner up at Lindsay’s suggestion. He shakes the Senior Referee, slaps him across the face, but is unable to wake the ref up. COLE The Mad Cappa is down! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are brawling on the outside! And Stephen Joseph Popick cannot seem to wake up Earl Hebner! COACH Get up you old fart! You’ve been knocked out so many times over the years you’d think that you’d be used to it by now! Popick yells at Earl Hebner to wake up. POPICK COME ON! COME ON! Popick throws the referee back onto the mat. He mutters to himself as he goes back to The Mad Cappa. HOWEVER, Colombian Heat slides into the ring. He kicks Popick in the stomach, turns around, hooks Popick’s arms, and then scoops him up into the air! COACH No! No! No! Not this! The crowd comes unglued! Colombian Heat has Popick up in the air. Heat looks at Spanish Fly on the outside, looks at The Mad Cappa down on the mat, looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick freaking out on the outside, looks up at Popick, and then looks at the crowd and smiles. Heat nods his head… and then proceeds to drop down, giving Stephen Joseph Popick the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie on Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH No! No! No! COLE Is this a preview of the Triple Threat Match at Anglepalooza? Is this move in Popick’s future? COACH No way! No how! Popick wasn’t ready! HE WASN’T PREPARED! But he WILL be prepared on January 27th! He will be! He will be! Colombian Heat gets all up in Popick’s grill! Spanish Fly slides into the ring and attacks Colombian Heat! COACH Get him, Fly! Get him! Spanish Fly hammers Heat’s back! He kicks Heat in the stomach several times! Spanish Fly kicks Heat out of the ring and then follows him out, brawling with his former ally on the outside! COLE And now Heat and Fly are going at it again! One year ago tomorrow they captured the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship together! And now, 364 days later, they are mortal enemies! COACH Spanish Fly showing us right now that he was the star of that team by getting the better of Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly slug it out in the ringside area! They go up the entrance ramp. At the same time, Tha Puerto Rican runs down the entrance ramp and around the ringside area. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is here! COACH What is he doing!? Does he want more of a beating from earlier tonight!? PRL grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper’s table and walks with it around ringside. COACH He’s stealing the Title belt! Stop him! COLE Pipe down! PRL walks up the ring steps, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand, and then enters the ring. The crowd is abuzzed. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has got the OAOAST World Title belt in his possession! COACH And that’s the ONLY way he’ll ever have the OAOAST World Title belt in his possession, by the way! PRL stands in a turnbuckle corner, and gets ready to hit someone with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. COLE PRL is gonna hit someone with the belt! COACH But who? Popick or Cappa? COLE Well, my money’s on Popick! After what went down earlier tonight, after making PRL the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble, and after putting a $1 million bounty on his head! COACH Don’t forget what happened on the New Year’s Spectacular. COLE That too. PRL motions for someone to get up. Both Popick and Cappa show signs of life on the mat. COLE PRL is not friends with either of these guys! Remember, they all fought for the Title on the New Year’s Spectacular two weeks ago! COACH Popick, watch out! PRL is a mad man! And he’s got YOUR belt in HIS hands! COLE Popick better watch out! Stephen Joseph Popick slowly moves to his side. The Mad Cappa also slowly moves to his side. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick tries to warn her husband that PRL is in the ring, but he’s not listening. Tha Puerto Rican is antsy, and so is the crowd. COLE PRL is getting ready to do some damage! He’s got his eyes locked on Popick! COACH No, on The Mad Cappa! COLE No, he’s clearly aiming for Popick! COACH No, The Mad Cappa! COLE No, Popick! COACH Cappa! COLE Popick! COACH Cappa! COLE Popick! COACH Cappa! COLE Popick! COACH Cappa! COLE Popick! COACH Popick! COLE Cappa! COACH Yes! COLE D’oh! Stephen Joseph Popick gets on his hands and knees. The Mad Cappa is on his side. Popick gets on his left knee. Cappa starts to get to his hands and knees. THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! COLE PRL is just BEGGING for Popick-- COACH --Cappa! COLE --to get up! And when he does, he’s in for a rude awakening! COACH Yes, The Mad Cappa certainly is in for a rude awakening! COLE Oh, will you stop!? COACH It’s true! KURT ANGLE It’s damn true! COLE :huh: Popick is on his left knee and is slowly pushing himself up. The Mad Cappa is on his hands and knees. COLE Here it comes! COACH Look out Mad Cappa! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is frantically yelling for Popick to look out. Stephen Joseph slowly rises back up to his feet. The Mad Cappa is on his right knee, and he too, is slowly getting up. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. Popick gets to a vertical base. The Mad Cappa is slowly getting up. Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, swinging the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt… …and completely MISSING Stephen Joseph Popick, instead hitting The Mad Cappa RIGHT IN THE FACE~!!! COLE Oh no! COACH I TOLD YOU! I KNEW IT! HE WAS AIMING FOR THE MAD CAPPA! HE WAS AIMING FOR THE MAD CAPPA! COLE No he wasn’t! Tha Puerto Rican clearly made a mistake! COACH How so!? He HATES The Mad Cappa! Remember? Tha Puerto Rican obviously hit the wrong person, as the expression on his face shows regret. He stands over the fallen Mad Cappa speechless…which allows Popick to give PRL a LOW BLOW taking him down to the mat! COLE And Popick with a low blow to take advantage of the situation! COACH Yeah! That’s Championship thinking right there! THAT is why he is the World Heavyweight Champion! COLE For once, you are exactly right! COACH Thank yo--HEY! Popick covers The Mad Cappa. Earl Hebner is showing signs of life now. COLE Oh no. Don’t tell me! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Earl Hebner sees Popick covering The Mad Cappa and crawls over to them. Lindsay is absolutely giddy right now. COLE Oh damnit! No! No! Not this way! Damnit! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican is sliding out of the ring, holding his junk. Earl Hebner gets into position, making sure both of Cappa’s shoulders are down on the mat. Popick hooks Cappa’s right leg. COACH Here it comes. Tha Puerto Rican slides out of the ring, still holding his groin area. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly have continued fighting backstage, exiting through the entrance doors. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is ready to celebrate. Stephen Joseph Popick has an evil smile on his face as he covers The Mad Cappa, who is unconscious now. Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (6:57) “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE And the Ultimate Opportunist steals another one! COACH Another win for THE CHAMP~! “Stronger” by Kanye West begins playing as the crowd boos loudly. Some fans even throw garbage into the ring. Lindsay jumps up and down and applauds her hubby as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. BUFFER Here is your winner…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Stephen Joseph Popick takes a deep breath, and then gets on his knees and raises his hands in victory with a sinister look on his face. He grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt that is lying on the mat and raises it over his head to LOUD boos. Popick chuckles at the booing, not letting it bother him right now. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, with a HUGE victory here tonight in this non-title bout! COACH And it’s all thanks to PRL hitting Mad Cappa in the face with the World Title belt! COLE You’re right, Coach! But it was an accident…wasn’t it? COACH No! No way! This is just like the New Year’s Spectacular all over again! Popick used PR and The Mad Cappa’s hatred of each other to get the victory! Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! HA! HA! HA! HA! Lindsay applauds Stephen Joseph from the outside. SJP stands up and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand in the air. He laughs manically while the crowd boos. COLE It had to have been an accident. PRL was clearly aiming for Popick! COACH No, it wasn’t! PRL was aiming for The Mad Cappa all along! He was just acting like he was aiming for Popick to surprise The Mad Cappa! Popick continues posing with his World Championship belt over the fallen Mad Cappa as the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match, starting with Tha Puerto Rican giving The Mad Cappa a ::Beltshot::. COLE Tha Puerto Rican had the OAOAST Title belt in his hands. He swung the belt at Popick, Popick ducked, and The Mad Cappa got the burnt of the belt! Popick then gave PRL a low blow and capitalized on Tha Puerto Rican's blunder, covering The Mad Cappa just as Earl Hebner was getting up to get the 1-2-3. And another victory for Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh, I’m sure there is no love lost between PR and Popick, but still, PRL WANTED to hit Mad Cappa, and he did. COLE Then why did Popick move out of the way? COACH Eh, PRL’s vision is a little blurry. He thought he was hitting Cappa, but Popick directed him to the REAL Mad Cappa! COLE Oh come on! That’s just ridiculous! COACH It’s the truth, Ruth! Stephen Joseph Popick taunts The Mad Cappa despite the fact that Cappa is knocked out from the beltshot. He gives The Mad Cappa a middle finger to his face and then stands over him and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand and flips a middle finger to the crowd with his right hand. He taunts the crowd and continues flipping a finger to them while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds from the outside and points to Stephen Joseph Popick saying, “That’s my man!” as “Stronger” continues playing. COACH What a victory for Stephen Joseph Popick! He is 2-0 against The Mad Cappa! 3 years later, but same match result! Woooo! COLE This was his night! Everything he wanted, he got! He put the SJPC into the Lethal Rumble Match! He made Tha Puerto Rican the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble AND put a $1 million bounty on his head! He had his Corporation give PRL a beatdown! And he main evented and defeated The Mad Cappa 1-2-3 under controversial circumstances! COACH Who cares how he won? The important thing is that he won! And in a roundabout way, he has PRL to thank for it! COLE Sadly, he does. But not in the way that we’re used to. Tha Puerto Rican is still holding his nuts in pain. He manages to get up on the outside, using the ring apron to keep him from falling. He eyes Popick angrily, giving him the McMahon SNEER~! and muttering something under his breath. Popick spots PRL getting up and sarcastically thanks him for helping him win the match “just like in the old days!” He laughs manically and taunts PRL, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high in the air, and then does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture at him. PRL’s face is red with RAGE~! He goes to slide back into the ring…but Popick stops Tha Puerto Rican from doing anything by kicking him right in the face! Tha Puerto Rican falls to the protective mats on the outside! COLE Oh! And this is how Popick repays him for helping him win the match!? COACH Hey, they’re not friends anymore! Popick doesn’t need PRL, but PRL needs Popick! COLE That’s a lie and you know it! PRL lies face down on the protective mats on the outside. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick runs over and kicks PRL in the back with her heel! She then runs back to where she was originally, pointing and laughing at Tha Puerto Rican’s misery. COACH I love that girl. COLE Like Popick will ever let you have her! COACH I can dream, can I? COLE Eugh. Tha Puerto Rican is still face down on the protective mats on the outside. The Mad Cappa is still lying spread eagle on the mat, unconscious from the beltshot given to him by Tha Puerto Rican. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick continues applauding her husband from the outside, the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt shining brightly over her right shoulder. Referee Earl Hebner has already left through the sliding doors. Stephen Joseph Popick continues playing to the booing crowd. He slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and smiles evilly, taunting the fans as “Stronger” by Kanye West continues playing. COLE Fans, thanks for tuning into HeldDOWN~! tonight! Things are getting heated up as we get closer and closer to Anglepalooza and the Lethal Rumble Match! We now know who’s #1 and who’s #30! We also now know that $1 million will be awarded to the man who eliminates Tha Puerto Rican in the Lethal Rumble Match! Stephen Joseph Popick has proclaimed that there is No Chance In Hell that Tha Puerto Rican will win the Lethal Rumble Match and go on to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th! And with every wrestler in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation in the Lethal Rumble…he might be right about that! One thing’s for sure: tonight on HeldDOWN~!, Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa experienced ’[color="#FF0000"][b]CORPORATE HELL[/b][/color]’! [b]FADE OUT[/b]