Ed Wood Caulfield

We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. The World's Most Famous Arena. Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. The World's Greatest City. Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. The biggest event of the summer. Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. OAOAST ANGLESLAM LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK FIVE WEEKS AWAY! NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. We fade in on the announce position high in the arena with Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. SCHIAVONE Yes, that's right fans, we are just five weeks away from the biggest event of the summer. Our 6th annual summertime spectacular, AngleSlam! And Jess, what an AngleSlam we've got planned for this year. Live from Madison Square Garden in New York City, headlined by a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This is wrestling history in the making, Jess. VENTURA I'll tell ya what, Tony Schiavone, it don't get no bigger than the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, and this year at AngleSlam, three of the OAOAST's very best will step into the ring and go at it one-on-one-on-one just so that they can be the one guy who is lucky enough to wear the 10 pounds of gold around their waist! And I, for one, cannot wait for that match-up! It is going to be a classic! SCHIAVONE AngleSlam is already starting to shape up. In addition to our HYOOGE main event, we've also got that big 5-on-5 Grudge Match between The Enterprise, Chicks Over Dicks, Leon Rodez, and D*LUX! VENTURA This is a rivalry that's been building up for quite a while, and it'll finally explode at Madison Square Garden on August 26th. 10 talented superstars will wrestle, not for titles, not for money, but because they hate each other. Hate is a strong word, but I think I can use it in the context of this feud. The Enterprise HATES every single wrestler they'll be facing at AngleSlam, and there's no love lost on the opposing side either! SCHIAVONE Just added tonight, Colombian Heat will square off against James Riggs one more time, this time for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. James Riggs used several cheap tactics tonight in his match against Heat, but he got the 'V' against Heat, and that's all that matters to him. VENTURA And that's all that SHOULD matter. In wrestling, all that counts is that there's a 'W' under your name in the Win-Loss column. James Riggs did what he felt like he had to do in order to get a shot at the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam. Well, he got his shot, so you can't say his methods failed. SCHIAVONE True, but I, personally, hope their match at AngleSlam is a little more 'clean' than tonight's match was. VENTURA I'm sure they'll both bring the goods at Madison Square Garden. This is a match I'll be keeping an eye on. James Riggs ain't no one trick pony, and I'm sure Colombian Heat doesn't want to lose the Title so soon after winning it. They'll both be on their 'A' game at AngleSlam, so it should be a great match! SCHIAVONE And we're just about ready to add ANOTHER match to AngleSlam. Coming up in just a few moments, 16 superstars will get into that ring and duke it out in the Battlebowl, with the last man standing earning a shot at the WDW World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg at AngleSlam on August 26th. The best from the OAOAST and World Domination Wrestling are just about ready to battle it out for a chance at the brass ring in five weeks at AngleSlam. VENTURA Nothing's better than an old fashioned Battle Royal, Schiavone! Everybody wants to be World Champion. Tonight one guy will get that chance if he can just outlast 15 other guys in that very ring! This won't be easy for any of the participants in Battlebowl! SCHIAVONE It sure won't, Jess. Lots of big names from both the OAOAST and WDW will be competing in Battlebowl tonight after earning their spots in qualifying matches over the month of July. It should be a good one. And I know for sure that Alfdogg will be watching that match very closely. VENTURA Of course! He's the WDW Champion! Obviously, he'll be paying attention to that match! Geeze, this isn't rocket science here, Schiavone! SCHIAVONE I was just making note of the fact that the WDW World Heavyweight Champion will most likely be paying attention to this match, so that he'll know who he'll be facing for the Title on August 26th at AngleSlam! VENTURA Obviously, he will! Alfdogg's a tremendous Champion! Once he finds out who he'll face, he'll immediatley start scouting them, studying them, try to find their weaknesses, their achilles heel. Trust me when I say that Alfdogg will be ready for his challenger come August 26th at AngleSlam! SCHIAVONE For his title reign's sake, he better. Fans, stay tuned, because we've still got three more matches to go on this edition of OAOAST Syndicated, and they're all very unique matches that only happen once in a blue moon, if ever! The Battlebowl is coming up in just a few moments. Then, we will see the Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. And of course, our main event, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix team up to take on Zack Malibu and a partner of his choosing in a "Dream Tag Team Partner Match". That's all still to come tonight on OAOAST Syndicated, so stay with us! *Jesse "The Body" Ventura pulls out a pair of binoculars.* SCHIAVONE Wha--What are those for? VENTURA So that I can have better viewing for the next three matches. SCHIAVONE You're just going to use those to get a better look at the ladies in the Tag Team Bra And Panties Match aren't you? VENTURA No! No! No! Not at all! I'm just gonna focus on their melons--I mean, cans--I mean jugs--I mean...bowling balls? SCHIAVONE Oy vey. Jess, you are something else. Just go get ready for your interview. VENTURA All right! Fine! Jesse "The Body" Ventura removes his headset and gets up out of his seat. VENTURA Don't touch my binoculars! SCHIAVONE I won't! I won't! Ventura leaves the announce position and walks to the INTERVIEW STAGE~! While this happens, Tony Schiavone rubs his forehead and does a deep sigh. SCHIAVONE All right. All right. All right, right now, let's send it over to Jesse "The Body" Ventura with this special interview. Jess? The camera SWOOPS~ down to Jesse “The Body” Ventura located atop the world famous INTERVIEW STAGE. VENTURA Coming up Thursday night live on TSM, a Scramble Cage Match will take place to unify the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW Tag Titles, with the winners recognized as the first ever One & Only World Tag Team Champions. The participants include the 3 reigning champions -- Chicks Over Dicks, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and Team Heyross -- D*LUX, the South Central Militia and my guests, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of ALL-time…THE HEAVENLY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” It’s anything but jolly in ‘ol England as the Heavenly Rockers appear in front of the live crowd. Escorted by arena security, insults and plastic bottles are hurled at Synth and Logan, who does little to shield his wife from the debris, on their way to the stage. VENTURA Guys, I know you wanna talk about the big tag unification bout on HeldDOWN~!, but seeing as how this is your first public interview since the “Louisiana Beatdown”, I first want to get your comments on that. In all my years in wrestling, never have I seen a more brutal message sent than the one you delivered to the Lone Star Gunslingers. LOGAN Keep flirtin’ with disaster and tragedy will strike! And it struck in a big way. Louisiana Beatdown, hmm? I can get used to that. It has a heavenly ring to it. What say you Synth? SYNTH It’s…heh heh heh…music to my ears. Heh heh heh. LOGAN Bodies left lying, blood splattered on the floor, just as we said it would, and the Lone Star Gunslingers with injuries that’ll leave them on the shelf for months. Now, onto a much more important matter, the tag title unification match. 6 of the best tag teams the OAOAST has to offer all inside a 15 foot high steel cage. As hellacious as cage matches are, the Heavenly Rockers see the light at the end of the tunnel, Jesse Ventura. A bright light that shines down on us from the heavens. In our possession, the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW tag team titles. Come Thursday night history will forever link the Heavenly Rockers with the creation of the One & Only Tag Team Championship sayeth Logan Usher Mann! SYNTH VENTURA Before I let you go, Logan, I wanna ask you about comments your wife Holly made on HeldDOWN~! The last time I checked, when two people got married they vowed to love and support each other no matter what. Needless to say, she didn’t support-- HOLLY (defiantly) You don’t know me, and you damn sure as hell don’t know the thoughts running through my mind. So I don’t appreciate you trying to put words in my mouth. SYNTH The man’s got a point. Contrary to popular belief, the Synthmeister can read. My hearing is even better. You basically said we deserve every bad thing that comes our way. Ain’t that right? HOLLY “YYEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” LOGAN Who are you to talk to him like that?! Synth holds his weight in the group. What have you done for us lately, huh? I’ve told you time and time again to count your blessings because we‘re the best thing to ever happen to you, particularly ME. Without us you’re either still a second-rate publicist or putting to use the only skill you have on the streets. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” HOLLY In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve been down this path before, and the results were disastrous. It nearly broke us up for good. Jesus may have died for our sins, as did Kurt Cobain, but I REFUSE to die for YOUR sins! LOGAN Well, I guess if you aren’t with us...you’re against us. The crowd is horrified when Logan yanks Holly by the hair and positions her for a DDT. SCHIAVONE Oh, my goodness! Logan’s going to DDT his own wife! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” MELODY NERDLY to the rescue. STEEL CHAIR in hand, Melody jabs Synth in the gut and wallops him across the back, but it’s a whole other story with Logan Mann. After tossing Holly aside Mann blocks Melody’s chairs hot and SLAPS her! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Crying her pretty eyes out as she clutches her cheek, Melody is front face locked. As Jesse Ventura pleads with Mann not to go through with it, Holly crawls up and… LOGAN …delivers a LOW BLOW to her husband! “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Logan falls off the stage in pain, blues and agony. His nads in a world of hurt. Holly, meanwhile, helps Melody to her feet. Once she regains her senses Melody gives Holly a big ‘ol hug, much to the embarrassment of the Angel of Death, but it‘s all good. COLE After what we’ve seen, Holly-Wood is apparently no longer a member of the Heavenly Rockers and now estranged from her husband Logan. What a show this has been, and we still have more to come! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...16 Superstars collide for a shot at the WDW World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam. It's time for Battlebowl! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Commercials

Three Titles HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal brawl of these six foes The Heavenly Rockers WDW Tag Team Champions Team Heyross HI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew D*LUX The South Central Militia OAOAST World Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks A group of star-crossed titles are unified One and Only World Tag Team Championship HeldDOWN~! August 2nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota Tag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions. SCHIAVONE Well Jess', a great way to kick off the show here. Our first show in jolly old England for quite a while and they are buzzing about the big main-event tonight, the 'Dream Partners Tag Team Match'. The question on everybody's lips is, just who is Zack Malibu's Dream Partner going to be as he takes on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix and his partner, Tha Puerto Rican? VENTURA You know Schiavone, it's pretty obvious, to me at least, that given the choice Zack's real 'dream partner' would be none other than American Idol winner, Kelly Clarkson! No offense to Candie if she's watching. However, I sure hope for his sake he's chosen a lot wiser than that, because he's gonna taking on his two AngleSlam opponents, both with one common goal. To take out one of the challengers and slash the odds of coming outta New York City as the World's Heavyweight Champion come August 26th! SCHIAVONE Well, a lot of speculation. Of course, we are here in England, so... Suddenly, Schiavone is forced to bail as someone has barged their way up into the announce position high in the arena. As Schiavone manages to avoid tripping over his chair, he and Jesse both step aside, as the suddenly excited crowd pick up the cause of the interrupting. NATHANIEL BLACK. NATHANIEL BLACK (in a thick Cockney accent) You know what, you're damn bloody right we're in London, England!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK And for all of you who don't know who I am, I am Nathaniel Black. England's #1. The UK's #1. Europe's #1. And right now, I've got somethin' to say! For the past month, I'd been workin' over at World Domination Wrestling on and off, rebuildin' my name over in America. Three years ago, I debuted for this stinking company and from day... bloody... ONE, I was mis-treated and mis-used by the jobsworth wankers in charge! They said my way of wrestlin', the British way of wrestlin', wasn't what an American audience wanted to see. And they told me I didn't have the 'charisma' or the personality to be a star. They told me that I'd never make it. And you know what. I told them to piss off and I went to Japan. Pacing around the small area around the table, Black runs his hand over his spiky hair. BLACK I made big in HI-YAH. I proved myself, to the point that I could come back to the US as an international star. But now... see now, I've got nowhere to go. The OAOAST has turned around and like the typical Yanks that they are, they fell like they're entitled to run the god-damn world! They've bought up HI-YAH. They've bought up WDW. And they've left me with no other options. "BLACK!" "BLACK!" "BLACK!" "BLACK!" BLACK You know, I sat on my arse for a month and I thought everything through. Yeah, a couple'a times, I consider jacking it all in. But then I realised somethin'. See, the entire reason I went to WDW in the first place was to show everybody who doubted Nathaniel Black in the OAOAST and all the Yanks who didn't respect me 'cause I wasn't Mr. Razzmatazz, just what I'd become. So, I dug that OAOAST contract outta the rubbish, signed it and shoved it in the post. And I waited for the OAOAST to finally step into my hometown of London, so I could give it the slap in the face it bloody well has coming!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK As of right now, I'm back in the OAOAST. And I am gonna do exactly what I set out to do in WDW. I'm gonna prove myself! I'm gonna prove that British is best! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK And I'm gonna damn well kick some OAOAST arse! Throwing down the mic, Black storms off from the announce position and back through the crowd where he came from. As he leaves through a sea of his fellow Londoners, Schiavone and Jesse re-compose themselves. SCHIAVONE Wow. Uhm... a very bitter Nathaniel Black there. VENTURA I'll tell you what Schiavone, these people here in London mighta agreed with every word he just said, but I can assure you he's not going to have made many friends across the ocean with that tirade! SCHIAVONE While we sort ourselves out up here, we'll send it down to Sofa Central. Michael Cole and Da Coach standing by to call our next match, Christopher Patrick Allen & The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX and "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez for the OAOAST World Six-Man Tag Team Championship right after this! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Still to come...the three men involved in the AngleSlam main event will all be in action in a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! And coming up next...Hot Six-Man Action! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Commercials We fade in on a shot of the exterior of The O2 in London, England. The OAOAST Syndicated theme song plays. The crowd cheers. COLE Inside The O2 lies the recently opened O2 Arena, and that is where tonight's edition of OAOAST Syndicated is taking place! The O2 Arena is sold out! They're hanging from the rafters here in this brand new state-of-the-art arena which opened on June 24th. 23,000 strong have come here tonight to witness this jam packed card, headlined by the "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! What a night this has been thus far, and we are just getting started! As we return to the airwaves, Sofa Central has a special guest. The CEO of The Enterprise himself, Theodore Moneymaker, takes his place on the sofa, not before being thoroughly brown-nosed by Coach of course who shakes the wealthy socialite's hand eagerly. COACH (sharply) C'mon Mikey, stand up! Show some respect. COLE Settle down Coach. I would have thought you'd be used to Mister Moneymaker joining us out here by now. It seems like he's out here every other week nowadays and here you are acting like The Pope just sat next to you or something. MONEYMAKER The Pope? HA! Michael Cole, there's yet another example of a man who merely wishes he had the power and respect of yours truly. Sure, the Catholic community's support is unwavering, but prayers and spiritual elightenment will only obtain a fraction of what my wealth can! Let's face facts, there's been dozens of Popes and there'll be dozens more. However, there is and only ever shall be simply one Billion Dollar Heir! BWAHAHA! COLE Fantastic. So, may I ask why you're out here tonight? MONEYMAKER First of all little man, my business is just that. Second of all, it's Mister Moneymaker to you. I realise you actually remembered to give me that courtesy tonight, but I'm going to remind you just for the hell of it. Besides, I'm out here to watch my fellow Enterprise members. COLE Well, seeing as you're out here, there's plenty to talk about regarding The Enterprise that hopefully you can fill us in on. While Moneymaker has been making himself comfortable, the stage-hands have rolled out the red carpet ready for "Call Me" by Blondie to hit. The crowd greet the 80's kinda rock, kinda pop, I dunno, it's in some sort of genre song with the disdain it deserves. Nothing against Blondie. It's just Ned and Simon are asses. "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" With a distinct lack of Mackenzie DeCenzo at their side, The Beverly Hills Blonds are instead followed out by their third man, CPA. Simon carries his Siclopse over his shoulder as Ned hangs back a little, clearly taking with a couple of pretty females in the audience. Must be tourists. OH! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! On their way to the ring at this time, representing THE ENTERPRISE, are the reigning and defending Champions! At a total combined weight of seven hundred, twenty five pounds. CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C-P-A... and, SIMON SINGLETON, NED BLANCHARD, they are... THE BEVERLY HILLS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Six Man Tag Team Champions, who will be defending their belts here, live from London, England. And I for one would say it's about time. COACH What's that supposed to mean? COLE Well... have these three even defended the belts on OAOAST television since winning them? Not that I recall. It seems like they've been ducking every challenge they've had, up until now, as the OAOAST committee have finally stepped in... MONEYMAKER Excuse me, but let me cut you off right there little man. My men are proud champions, who've been defending their titles whenever they deem fit within the mandatory 30 day period at live events and the such. And they certainly haven't 'ducked' any challenges... COLE What about Krista and D*LUX at The Great Angle Bash? MONEYMAKER That was a line-up change neccessitated by unforseen, outside factors. With the Siclopse set up in the aisleway, Singleton rolls into the ring and immediately rolls cameras to one side of the audience. And after capturing nothing but a sea of downward-pointing thumbs and upward-pointing middle fingers on his imaginary camera, he turns to where Ned gives his man a thumbs up from the corner as if for a souvenir photo. But of course IT'S NOT A REAL CAMERA, just a hand-signal. Yeesh. Meanwhile, the red carpet clears and "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 begins to play. A much more responsive London crowd rise to their feet, showing that boyband fever isn't entirely dead in Blighty! BUFFER And, introducing the challengers... Bounding out onto the stage, Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave earn themselves bonus points with the fans for their Union Jack design denim jeans and jackets! Tyler looks out upon the fans, Shayne firing the people up before they both begin their walk to the ring. BUFFER First, total combined weight, three hundred eighty two pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXX!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Give me something to believe in Cause I don’t believe in you anymore Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference to try (Yeah) So this is goodbye" The boybanders break out a few of their funky fresh moves in between slapping the hands of the fans. They stop short of entering the ring just yet though. Partly for the numbers dis-advantage. Mainly because CPA is stood by the ropes on their side shooting them a death-glare, Ned and Simon pulling faces from behind their powerhouse of a partner's back. COLE D*LUX and The Beverly Hills Blonds have a long and storied history, made all the more heated since Jade Rodez joined up with The Enterprise. By the way, what is up with the match we're going to see later, Bra and Panties for the World Tag Team Championships!? MONEYMAKER Michael, you sound appalled at the prospect. Which is hardly surprising. But, the match is a test of faith for a certain Ms. DeCenzo. COLE But, it seemed like Jade was less than thri... MONEYMAKER Jade had her reservations, yes. After all, she is a refined young woman now, since I rescued her from the bulldyke claws of Chicks Over Dicks. However, she realises the opportunity put forward to her and I have assured her she'll come out of it with her head held high. Unlike those harlets you currently call 'Champions', who I'm sure will have their heads buried deeply within each other's cro... COLE Okay, I think we get that visual, thanks. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd have taken up the chant in the delay, Blanchard's attempts to make them 'pipe down' having no effect. Only one thing could. :CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease the chants and on cue they erupt, as out storms LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER And, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Hand-tagging his way down the aisle, Leon meets up with his tag team partners in the aisle and is faced with the same prospects they were. CPA, standing and waiting. That doesn't seem to deter Rodez though as he quickly skins off his robe and breaks for the ring, sliding through the unprepared CPA's legs and making a beeline right for Ned Blanchard!! Blanchard just about gets out of dodge, but Singleton's attempt at a cheapshot makes him the new object of Leon's anger. And as CPA tries to get across and help out, D*LUX pounce from behind, all hell breaking loose as referee Mike Chioda waves frantically for the bell! *DINGDINGDING!* With right hand after right hand, Leon backs Simon up into a corner and shows no signs of let-up. Behind him, D*LUX have CPA stunned and connect with a Double Dropkick. CPA stays on his feet though, so D*LUX quickly remove their jackets and hit the ropes. Double clothesline attempt from the bigman is ducked on both sides and Shayne and Tyler come off the opposite ropes, stereo flying forearms putting CPA down! MONEYMAKER Come on referee, get some control! Out rolls Allen, D*LUX following as a team. Meanwhile, Leon has scaled the middle turnbuckle and has The Video Voyeur trapped... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SE..." No! The chain stops at six, thanks to a Ned Blanchard double axehandle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER There we go Ned, there we go! Pulling Leon down off the ropes, Blanchard lands with a right hand of his own. And another. Leon is backed up against Simon now as Ned attempts an irish whip. Reversal by Rodez though, sending Ned corner to corner and hard into the turnbuckles on the far side. Simon sees this as his opportunity to pounce. But Leon is ready for him, as he elbows him in the face and sends Simon for the ride too. Horror-stricken at the sight of his partner careening towards him Ned throws his hands up and screams for his partner to "STOOOPP!", as if that would do any good, the fans erupting for a BHB pile-up in the corner! Simon and Ned clock heads and Singleton collapses backwards. Suddenly, every fan on one side of the ring is blowing and hand-waving, trying with all their might to make Ned fall too. They needn't worry, as sure enough the woozy Blanchard flair-flops out of the corner... COLE Mister Moneymaker, remember what you said about COD earlier? Well... "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...HEAD-FIRST INTO HIS PARTNER'S CROTCH!! SINGLETON Much to The Blonds embarrassment, Ned doesn't seem to be moving. His face buried deep in another man's crotch, the crowd laugh it up at Blanchard's expense as Singleton tries to unwrap his numbing legs from around his partner's head. MONEYMAKER NO, NO! This is hideous! Somebody get in there and seperate them, for the love of all that's holy, this is making a mockery of the entire concept of heterosexuality! Watching on with some amusement, Leon turns to the fans and shrugs his shoulders, as if to say he didn't know that would happen. Apparantly, he also didn't know he'd get clubbed from behind by CPA seconds later, sent spilling through the ropes and to the floor! Finally, on Theodore Moneymaker's protestations on the outside, CPA untangles The Beverly Hills Blonds from their 'predicament'. From behind comes Tyler Bryant now though, clubbing CPA from behind. Not with the strength CPA himself used on Leon moments earlier of course, but enough to get his attention. A succession of right hands back CPA in the corner. Tyler then looks to whip the bigman out. CPA is going nowhere though and boots Tyler in the gut, grabbing the head and ramming Tyler face-first into the turnbuckles! COLE Remember, this is all a preview of the big 5 on 5 Grudge Match at AngleSlam, The Enterprise facing Leon, D*LUX and of course Chicks Over Dicks! COACH I hope that last bit was a preview of the Bra And Panties Match later. Mmm. MONEYMAKER *glares* COACH Uh... I mean, uh... death to lesbians! Yeah! Except for the pretty ones. Holla. After choking Tyler in the corner up to a 4 count, CPA pulls his opponent into the centre of the ring. Scoop and a slam positions The Tremendous One, as Allen comes off the ropes with a big elbow... NOBODY HOME! Tyler dodging out of the way! CPA climbs back up nursing his right arm as Shayne Brave rolls back in, D*LUX combining with a double drop toehold. Hitting the mat hard face-first, Allen pushes right back up onto his knees... ...as D*LUX fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching CPA's head in between! COLE New Kicks On The Block! Cover by Tyler, as legal a man as this match has so far... 1... 2... No! Together, D*LUX pull CPA back up and send him off into the ropes. The tag-team specialists then look for a Double Hiptoss... but CPA sets himself and not even Shayne and Tyler combined can take him over. They try again from standing, but CPA won't budge. So they go to the gut with knees and instead drop him with a Double Bulldog! MONEYMAKER Now this is just getting ridiculous. Two on one, still! The OAOAST committee and I will be having words about the signing of officials to Enterprise matches in the future, that's for sure! COLE To be fair, I don't see the Champions making an atte... HEY! Over at Sofa Central, a pale-white Ned Blanchard grabs a jug of water and proceeds to tip the entire contents over his face. Meanwhile, D*LUX are still full of peppy, boyband energy. Spotting Simon Singleton limping around ringside, Tyler and Shayne quickly converse and set themselves up. Off the ropes comes "Showtime" Shayne, Tyler ducking his head and backdropping his opponent over the top, RIGHT ONTO THE VIDEO VOYEUR!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" And on the other side, Tyler lines up Ned Blanchard CONNECTING WITH A PESCADO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE D*LUX, taking to the air! Back in the ring, Rodez measures CPA, encouraging him to get back to his feet. Slowly Allen does, looking around for one of what were his last opponents before he got dropped on his face, D*LUX. Instead it's Leon that darts past him, coming off the ropes for a crossbody... ...CAUGHT! CPA carries Rodez like a small child into the centre of the ring, before twisting him around with a big Powerslam. Unlike a small child. That's just wrong. COLE What a Powerslam from the 280 pounder! That could do it right there. 1... 2... Shoulder up. With D*LUX and The Beverly Hills Blonds now battling on the outside, CPA backs into a corner and sets himself on the second rope. COLE This is something we don't usually see, the bigman leaving his feet. CPA steadies himself on the ropes... but takes too much time, allowing Rodez to run in and take him right off the buckle with an Armdrag!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE And maybe we shouldn't see it again in the future if that's anything to go by! Leaving the ring, it's Leon's turn to head up the ropes now. He goes all the way up to the top however, waiting for CPA to turn around before soaring and wiping out The Director Of Security with crossbody block Ricky Steamboat himself would be proud of... 1... 2... NO! Pushed off the cover and to his feet, Rodez immediately runs the ropes. Staying low, CPA forces Rodez up and over and winds up with a big haymaker to greet him on his return from the opposite side. However, Leon is able to slide through the legs and quickly connect with a Dropkick before CPA can figure out what happened! Out of the ring goes Allen, leaving Rodez to prepare for a dive of his own! But before he can follow through on his promise of highspots to the London crowd, Ned Blanchard pounces from behind! COLE Blanchard, taking care of Tyler Bryant out here and yet another sneak attack. Blanchard seems to have a real knack of taking Rodez from behind. MONEYMAKER If only. COLE What? MONEYMAKER What? I didn't hear anything. After some blows to the back, Ned wheels Leon around, whipping him to the ropes. A clothesline misses though. And with Blanchard knocked off balance by his wild swing, forward tumbles Leon, knocking Ned down with the SHACK ATTACK!! RODEZ COME ON YOU SUNNUVA BITCH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no, this ain't good. COLE Oh boy, has Leon been waiting for this or what!? Ned rolls to his knees and despairingly begs off from the fired up New-Age Love Machine. Quickly, having landed with an undetected lowblow on Shayne Brave, Simon Singleton rushes in for the rescue. Rodez catches him coming in with a boot. But fighting off two men proves unwise and eventually The Blonds beat Leon down with forearms. MONEYMAKER You know, perhaps Leon should go back to his cute little 'nicest man in the OAOAST' phase. Because when you try and take on an Enterprise, you cant just focus on one section, one department. You're fighting an entire Enterprise and you have to realise, it's not personal, it's strictly business. Together, the three-time OAOAST Tag Champions send the neutralised Rodez into the ropes. Drop toehold from Simon, the point of the elbow from Ned, patented Beverly Hills Blonds/NNMX, perhaps enough as Singleton makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Not enough! Spotting danger out of the corner of his eye, Ned quickly bumps Tyler Bryant off the apron. Meanwhile, Singleton has Rodez backed into a corner and pins him back with a blatant choke. Once Ned is ready he then whips Leon out, right into a heavy-duty clothesline that takes him right off his feet! High-five from The Blonds, the British crowd getting on their case as Simon mockingly 'rolls cameras'. COLE Okay, another question, Mister Moneymaker. Why are The Beverly Hills Blonds, or any Enterprise members for that matter, not entered into the Scramble Cage Match on August 2nd to unify the Tag Titles? MONEYMAKER Because, quite simply, there will be no 'Scramble Cage' once Mackenzie and Jade become OAOAST Tag Team Champions. They will decide what fate best serves the belts and we will work out a settlement with the HI-YAH Champions. Problem solved. The arrogant Blonds clearly think they have Rodez where they want him as they look for a double irish-whip and the Double Feature Flapjack. The first part of which is no problem. But as they duck their heads for the flapjacks, Leon manages to put on the brakes, kicking Singleton in the shoulder blade! Leon then looks to boot Ned too. However, Ned catches the foot and feeds his jaw, just daring the compromised Rodez to hit him. To his credit, Leon tries just that with an Enziguri. Only for Ned to duck... *SMACK!* ...leaving SINGLETON to take the kick!! BLANCHARD Aw, shit! Ned reels around, right into an Inverted Atomic Drop! Nursing his pride and joy, Ned leaves himself wide open, as Rodez connects with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... ...and getting cut off with a quick kick. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Smirking away to himself, Ned taps his temple to show how smart he is as he executes an irish whip. A one-handed irish whip isn't the wisest idea though. And sure enough, Leon stops at arm's length, swats the hand away... *SMACK!* ...and belatedly nails Blanchard upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Blanchard has enough about him to keep on rolling as he hits the mat, all the way out of the ring to prevent being pinned. So Rodez takes back over on Singleton, hauling him up and whipping him into a corner. Simon hits hard and begins to stagger out, only for Leon to crush him right back into the buckles with some Double Knees! And from there he hangs on, riding Simon all the way down and bringing him into an Inverted Lungblower! Clearly winded, Singleton uses the turnbuckles behind him to pull himself up and little else besides. Rather than follow up though, Rodez is forced to get out of the way, as CPA comes charging in... ...AND COLLIDES WITH SINGLETON, AVALANCHING HIM IN THE CORNER!! COACH Oh come on, not again! Why is this referee allowing this? COLE What, allowing two Enterprise members in the ring against one opponent? MONEYMAKER Yes! After a brief moment of shock at crushing his own partner, CPA re-sets his focus on Rodez. Even more angry than before he charges at The Silky Smooth One looking to make good on his attack this time. But Leon is quick enough to dive out of the way and CPA instead runs INTO A DOUBLE SUPERKICK FROM D*LUX!! The bigman rocks backwards, schoolboyed by Leon... 1... D*LUX guard off on the save... 2... NO, TWO!! COLE Wow, we almost had new 6-Man Tag Team Champions right there! As CPA starts to get back up, Leon quickly turns to his partners and gives them some quick directions. The trio of challengers then wait for CPA to turn around, luring him in... and connecting with not one, not two but THREE stereo Superkicks to the head area!! COLE Triple Superkick this time, that oughta do it! CPA topples like a big redwood and quick as a flash, Leon, Tyler and Shayne all pile on top of The Director Of Security... MONEYMAKER What the hell is this!? 1... 2... SAVE BY SINGLETON!! COACH Why the hell did the referee even count that!? There were three guys making the pin... three! That's like... two more than there should be! MONEYMAKER You know, it's clear this referee needs a reminder of the rules. And if no-one else is willing to deliver it, I guess it's down to me. Moneymaker removes his headset and makes for the ring, while D*LUX take it to Simon Singleton. A couple of boots double The Video Voyeur up and D*LUX run the ropes... but get simultaneously low-bridged by Ned Blanchard, taking hard spills to the arena floor! COLE Oh! D*LUX down and... and now, Moneymaker is up on the apron! Referee Chioda rushes over to the CEO of The Enterprise, pointing him back down the arena floor. Moneymaker doesn't so much plead his case as rip into the referee for his officiating so far, providing a distraction as CPA lands with a hard closed fist on Rodez, the former professional boxer dropping him clean. Still the referee is distracted as CPA begins to haul the dazed Rodez up, Singleton's eyes now turning to the entrance way as CHRISTIAN WRIGHT comes charging out from the back!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on, it's a set-up! It's a damn set-up! COACH Just like Mister Moneymaker said, when you fight an enterprise, you fight the entire Enterprise! Sliding his prized briefcase into the ring, Wright skulks back off just as soon as he arrived. With a satisfied smile on his face, he watches on as Singleton grabs the briefcase, CPA holding Leon upright. Singleton winds up like Sammy Sosa himself, checking for sure the referee is still pre-occupied before swinging for the fences... *THUD!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND KO'ING CPA AS RODEZ DROPS LOW JUST IN TIME!!! COACH NO! MISTER MONEYMAKER! SIR! CPA collapses, leaving Singleton with his head in his hands! The London crowd quickly encourage Leon to get the briefcase. But not willing to stoop to those lengths, Rodez instead waits for Simon to turn around and hoists him into a piggyback, cradling the head and SPIKING him with the Stunner! BANANA HAMMOCK! COLE This one's gonna be over! But damnit, Moneymaker is STILL on the apron!! COACH So? He can do whatever he wants, he's rich! COLE Please, he's no Lindsay Lohan. Smart enough to see a cover is pointless, Rodez gets straight back up and begins to make a move towards Moneymaker and the referee. But his path is suddenly blocked by Ned Blanchard, who sneaks back into the ring and lifts Rodez up. Caught completely by surprise, Leon is completely helpless as Ned then drops him back across the top-rope with the STUN GUN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Right across the top ring-rope throat first! And the referee didn't see a thing! Sneaking around like a thief in the night, Ned grabs his KOed tag team partner by the hand and drops him across the chest of The Silky Smooth One. Blanchard then waves Moneymaker down and slides out of the ring, keeping Tyler Bryant at bay as the referee notices the 'cover'... 1... COLE Not like this! 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Ah, what a crock of... BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... and STILL OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, CPA... and THE BEVERLY HIIIIIIIILLLSS BBLLLLLOOOONNDDSSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing the belts, Moneymaker glides past D*LUX on the floor, Blanchard landing one last punch on Tyler before escaping with the boss. The duo collect Singleton as well before they make for the exits, no time apparently to drag the unconscious CPA with them unfortunately. Christian Wright joins his co-horts in the aisle and the four Enterprise members get themselves to a safe distance, Ned and Simon clutching the three 6-Man belts over their chests as they lie in the aisle, Moneymaker laughing away to the booing London fans. COLE The number advantage, yet again. And of course, these five are proud of themselves. The Enterprise steal another one at the expense of D*LUX and yet another of Leon Rodez, who had this match won just like he had his match at The Bash won! Finally coming to, CPA rolls out of the ring and is waved over by his Enterprise buddies. Shayne Brave manages to roll into the ring and checks on Rodez, who has sat up holding his throat. Both glare out into the entrance way, as CPA is re-united with his team-mates and his belt and Moneymaker revels in the victory. MONEYMAKER Yeah. Like that. COLE Well, thankfully, there'll be no numbers advantage at AngleSlam. It'll be 5 on 5, all in! COACH What about Mackenzie? And Jade? And... that intern chick? COLE Molly Nerdly? COACH That her name, is it? COLE Well, I'm afraid you might be right. I think AngleSlam is going to be the closest we're going to get to an even match between The Enterprise and anyone. But, after this display, I'm worried about the future of the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. What are we going to see later on tonight here in London, England? The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Still to come...Tha Puerto Rican, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Zack Malibu will be in action in a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! Also...four hot chicks ripping each other's clothes off! Need I say more? The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. EXCITING! EXHILIRATING! SOME OTHER WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "E"! IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! August 2nd- Minneapolis, Minnesota for HeldDOWN~! August 9th- Seattle, Washington for HeldDOWN~! August 16th- Honolulu, Hawaii for HeldDOWN~! August 23rd- Boston, Massachusetts for HeldDOWN~! AUGUST 26TH- NEW YORK, NEW YORK FOR OAOAST ANGLESLAM 2007 CATCH ALL THE EXCITEMENT OF THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! Commercial break

MICHAEL COLE Michael Cole here along with Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, ready to call all the action on tonight's late night episode of OAOAST Syndicated! A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *"COME ON!"* *BOOM~!* COLE OAOAST Syndicated is about to feel the Heat! Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd's cheers get even louder as Colombian Heat charges out from the curtains, the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt wrapped around his waist. Heat gets the crowd fired up by jumping up and down and waving his hands in the air. COLE Here he is! The most 'crunk' 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history! JONATHON "DA COACH" COACHMAN Oh please. Colombian Heat points to the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt around his waist, and then says, "You like it? Yeah, I like it too!" Heat raises his hands acknowledging his fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the O2 Arena, and then begins his walk to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty-minute TV time limit, with a special stipulation, that if James Riggs can defeat Colombian Heat, then he will meet him again, this time for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEE-- James Riggs attacks Colombian Heat from behind! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Colombian Heat falls face first onto the floor! Riggs starts stomping on Colombian Heat! Riggs' wife, Staci, appears, and cheers her husband on. COACH Smart move by James! Get him when he least expects it! COLE He's trying to get a head start, that's for sure! COACH He wants this title shot at AngleSlam more than you could ever know! He WANTS to become the OAOAST 24/7 Champion SOOOOO badly! It's his primary objective these days! Riggs continues stomping on Colombian Heat. The crowd boos loudly. Heat is already feeling pain. JR takes the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt off of Colombian Heat's waist and then shoves it into his face. JAMES RIGGS IT'S MINE! IT'S GOING TO BE MINE! Riggs throws the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt aside and continues beating on Colombian Heat while Staci looks on. COLE Colombian Heat is being manhandled right now! Damnit! Why doesn't the referee stop this!? COACH The bell hasn't even rung yet, Michael! They can do whatever they want to with no bother! COLE Damnit! This isn't right! This isn't right at all, damnit! Colombian Heat, coughing violently, crawls towards the ringside area. James Riggs taunts Heat, telling him to get up. When he doesn't, Riggs grabs Heat by his yellow basketball jersey and whips him into the steel steps! COLE Oh come on! Somebody stop this! COACH Once again, Mikey! The bell hasn't rung yet, so there's nothing the ref can do about it! COLE He's an OAOAST Official! I'm sure he can do something! COACH He can't. Now shut up and enjoy the carnage. Colombian Heat hit the ring steps left shoulder first. Riggs stops to chuckle evilly at what he's done. The crowd boos. Staci nods her head, approving her husband's actions. Heat is already breathing heavily. Riggs walks with a swagger in his step and picks Colombian Heat up. He punches Heat in the face! Colombian Heat falls! COLE James Riggs has struck first blood! He's not taking any chances! He wants to win and get a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam! COACH He has to. If he loses, who knows when he'll get another chance at the Title? This is his one and only shot. He must take it TONIGHT! COLE James Riggs striking like a piranha! COACH A piranha with a very hot wife! COLE What? COACH You heard me. I ain't changing it for nobody! COLE Aw geeze. Colombian Heat slowly gets up. James Riggs helps him up, and then punches him in the face. Riggs then throws Colombian Heat into the ring. Staci arrogantly walks to ringside. Referee Nick Soapdish calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. JAMES RIGGS (with Staci) (If James Riggs wins, then he gets a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th.) James Riggs climbs the top rope. He gets into position, and then dives off, hitting Colombian Heat with a knee drop from the top rope! Riggs goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE Riggs came close, but Heat is still in this contest! Riggs is pissed that his ambush has failed thus far. JR picks the groggy Colombian Heat up and takes him over to a turnbuckle. Riggs punches Colombian Heat a few times, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner--Heat reverses!--Riggs hits the turnbuckle sternum first! COLE Wow! I felt that one! JR collapses onto the mat. Staci is now worried for her husband. Colombian Heat power walks on over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top. COLE Colombian Heat is going to fly! COACH Riggs, get out of the way! Staci, do something for your man! Save him! Heat positions himself on the top rope, looks down at Riggs, and then jumps off, twisting his body in mid-air, and crashing into James Riggs with the Straight From Da Street! COLE Straight From Da Street! The Sky Twister Press! It's one of Colombian Heat's trademarks! Heat wants to end this match early! Colombian Heat covers James Riggs. ONE! TWO! NO!!! Staci breathes a sigh of relief. COLE James Riggs kicked out in the nick of time! He still has a chance of going to AngleSlam to compete for the 24/7 Title! COACH It's going to happen, Michael! It's going to happen tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! Heat gets up, more determined than ever to finish this match. He picks James Riggs up, and then covers him with a La Magistral Cradle! 1...2...KICK OUT! STACI COME ON JAMES! COLE Staci yelling words of encouragement to her husband. You know she wants to make an appearance at AngleSlam! COACH It should be mandatory for Staci to appear at every single OAOAST event, wearing very little clothing, and sitting on Da Coach's lap, feeding me strawberries. COLE I set myself up for that didn't I? COACH Yes you did. Colombian Heat picks JR up. Heat grabs Riggs' left arm and twists it into an arm-wringer. Riggs falls to the mat, tumbles forward, kips up, and then reverses the arm-wringer into one of his own. Heat kips up, tumbles forward, and then reverses the arm-wringer again! He follows that up by kicking Riggs in the stomach, kicking him in the chest, and then giving him a spinning heel kick to the face, knocking him down! COLE Riggs is down! COACH Oh crap! Heat goes for the cover. It gets two. Colombian Heat picks James Riggs up. Heat grabs Riggs' right hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Riggs reverses--Heat bounces off the ropes. Riggs goes for a kick, but Heat catches JR's left foot! However, Riggs fires back with an enziguiri! COLE Oh my! What an enziguiri from James Riggs! Great counter! COACH He's keeping up with Colombian Heat! That alone should give him a title shot! COLE He must pin Colombian Heat or make him submit if he wants that 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam, Coach! COACH He's gonna get it. I can feel it in the air! Riggs goes for the cover. It gets two. He gets into an argument with Nick Soapdish. The leader of JR Nation sneers at the referee and then goes back to work, getting back onto his feet so that he can stomp Colombian Heat while he's down. Heat lets out a painful yell after each stomp on the back! COLE Riggs on the offensive. This is his match to win, remember! If he gets the victory, then he faces Colombian Heat again in five weeks at AngleSlam! COACH And if this match is any indication, what a match that's going to be! COLE He still hasn't won yet, Coach! COACH He sure looks like he's going to right now, Michael! Hell, we should start planning his celebration party when he wins the 24/7 Title on August 26th! COLE Let's not go that far, Coach. Don't count your chickens before they hatch! COACH I'll count them anytime I want to, because I'm Da Coach! That's why! COLE Why couldn't they have stuck me with Ventura? JR picks Colombian Heat up. A "HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!" chant starts up. Riggs grabs Heat by his left hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Riggs puts his head down, so Colombian Heat takes that as the perfect opportunity to stop in his tracks and kick James Riggs right in his face! COACH Watch it! He could have broken his nose with that one! Colombian Heat grabs James Riggs, and gives him a Northern Lights Suplex! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE He got him! COACH No! No! Riggs' foot was on the ropes! That shouldn't count! Indeed, Riggs right foot was on the bottom rope at the count of 3. Heat gets up to celebrate what he thinks is a victory, and the crowd is right alongside him. COACH You idiot! You didn't win squat! There's still a match going on! And THIS guy is our 24/7 Champion? Nick Soapdish tells Colombian Heat that Riggs foot was on the ropes. Heat is obviously disappointed by this. Not disappointed by this is Staci, who now has a smile on her gorgeous face. COLE Riggs almost lost his chance at a 24/7 Title shot! Luckily for him, the ref saw his mistake. COACH Great officiating! It's about time we had some in the OAOAST! Kudos ref, whoever you are! COLE His name is Nick Soapdish. COACH Like I care what his name is. Colombian Heat (and the fans) are disappointed that the 3 count wasn't the real 3 count. The crowd starts booing. James Riggs takes this time out to slowly crawl underneath the bottom rope to catch a breather on the outside. COLE We still got a match going on. COACH That was the momentum shifting, Michael! Now, things are going to go James Riggs way from now on! JR is breathing heavily on the outside. He rests his head on the ring apron. Colombian Heat, after getting a stern talking to from the ref, sees Riggs, and decides to do something. What does he do, you ask? Well, he grabs the top rope, and slingshots himself over it onto Riggs with a Pescado! COLE Whoa! Oh my! What a maneuver from Colombian Heat! COACH What!? Come on now, Riggs! This is your moment! Your opportunity! Destiny is staring you right in the face! MAKE A MOVE NOW! Colombian Heat gets on top of Riggs and starts hammering away. He taunts Riggs while doing so. COLE Colombian Heat was ambushed at the start of this match, and it looks like he's now returning the favor! COACH That low life thug! OF COURSE, he would be doing that! COLE How come you didn't say anything earlier when James Riggs attacked Colombian Heat at the entrance? COACH That's called smart wrestling! Colombian Heat is attacking James Riggs for no real reason! COLE Oh come on! Colombian Heat picks James Riggs up by his long blonde hair, calling him a "punk jigger" in the process. Heat throws Riggs back into the ring. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" Colombian Heat picks Riggs up and nails him with several forearms to the face. He then whips him into the ropes. Riggs bounces off the ropes, into a spinning wheel kick from Heat--NO! Riggs grabs Heat, and turns the spinning wheel kick attempt into a German Suplex! COACH Beautiful counter! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! COLE James Riggs with a close one right there! COACH We're getting closer baby! We're getting closer! COLE Riggs using everything he can think of to get the victory here tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Colombian Heat's Northern Lights Suplex again. COLE Heat thought he had the victory right here. COACH Well, he didn't. And after tonight, he knows just what's in store for him on August 26th! And something tells me he's not looking forward to that day! COLE Once again, wait until the bell rings and Riggs hand is raised in victory, IF that even happens! COACH Nobody puts Coach in the corner! Riggs gets back up, and he picks Colombian Heat up too. Riggs whips Heat into the ropes. He follows with a belly-to-back suplex! JR goes for the cover, hooking Heat's right leg! 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE He didn't get him that time. COACH He will soon! Riggs is annoyed that it was only a two count. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead and flicks it at Heat. He says something to the OAOAST 24/7 Champion and then picks him up. Riggs applies a facelock on Heat, puts Heat's left arm over his head, grabs his orange basketball shorts, and then lifts him up for a suplex--Heat lands right behind Riggs, jumps up onto Riggs' shoulders, and then rolls through with a victory roll! 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!!! RIGGS REVERSES!!! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!! COACH NO! Staci says the same thing at ringside. Riggs yells out, "COME ON REF!" Both he and Heat are feeling fatigued already. JR slowly gets up first, IN ANGER~!. JR picks Colombian Heat up and whips him into a turnbuckle--NO--Heat reverses--NO--Riggs reverses that! Heat hits the turnbuckle--which has no top turnbuckle pad! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! COACH Hey, what do you know? No turnbuckle pad! Colombian Heat clutches his back in horrible pain. James Riggs heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The camera shows the top turnbuckle pad lying on the floor next to Staci. Riggs does a forward roll...and smashes his right foot right into Colombian Heat's face! COLE Rolling Wheel Kick! Rolling Wheel Kick from James Riggs! COACH Yes! Yes! He got it! He got it! COLE But how did--how did the turnbuck--what the hell is going on!? Colombian Heat flops face first onto the mat! Staci is all smiles on the outside! James Riggs rolls Colombian Heat onto his back and covers him, hooking his left leg. Nick Soapdish makes the count. COACH Come on! Come on! Make with the count already! 1... 2... 2 1/2 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (4:30) COLE And James Riggs is going to AngleSlam! "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers starts playing. Riggs pumps his fists in victory, while Staci jumps up and down and squeals in delight. The crowd boos loudly. COACH Yes! I told you so! I. Told. You. So! James Riggs has beaten Colombian Heat! James. Riggs. Has. Beat. Ten. Colombian. Heat! Who's the man!? Who's The Man!? BUFFER Here is your winner...JAMMMMMMEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS RIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Colombian Heat is holding his face in pain. James Riggs gets up and raises his hands in victory. He puts five fingers in the air, and then does the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture. Despite feeling some pain, Riggs is all smiles as Nick Soapdish raises his hands in victory again. COLE James Riggs has defeated Colombian Heat, certainly under controversial circumstances, but it doesn't matter, as now another match has been added to AngleSlam on August the 26th! Colombian Heat will defend the OAOAST 24/7 Title against James Riggs one-on-one, and if tonight is any indication, then Riggs might be more of a threat than Heat thought! COACH 'MIGHT be more of a threat'? Nigga, is you crazy!? James Riggs IS the next 24/7 Champion! He's the uncrowned Champion as far as I'm concerned. He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he deserved a title shot tonight, and now he's going to get his rightful shot in five weeks at AngleSlam! JR Nation is greatly anticipating the 26th of August where Mr. James Riggs will grab his first piece of OAOAST gold! Riggs raises his hands in victory some more as "Dani California" continues playing. Nick Soapdish checks on Colombian Heat. COLE The Rolling Wheel Kick sealed the deal although that missing turnbuckle pad certainly played a part! I wonder if--Staci WAS very close to that turnbuckle! COACH Are you saying that Staci took off the turnbuckle pad herself? COLE Well, now that you mentioned it-- COACH No--oh no! No! No! No! Staci would never do such a thing! Never in a million years! Staci is too sweet. Too pure. Too innocent to do something as unlawful as that! COLE Unlawful? Coach, you were sitting a few feet away from her! Come on now! It's quite obvious! COACH No! No way! I refuse to believe it! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! No way! COLE Coach, Staci did take off the turnbuckle pad, and you know it! She helped James Riggs get this victory! COACH Riggs won using his tenacity, his strength, and his talent! Staci had nothing to do with it! Well, she was there for moral support, but that's it! THAT'S IT! COLE Oh give me a break! COACH She didn't do anything! She's innocent! INNOCENT! INNOCENT! COLE Coach come on! COACH People always trying to bring the rich and famous down! O.J., Michael Vick, Staci. You just can't handle people being better than you! Don't blame them. Look in the mirror every once in a while why don't ya!? This is just another example of White America trying to keep the Rich White Girl down! COLE Oh will you stop!? James Riggs stops to speak directly to the camera. JAMES RIGGS Five more weeks...it's mine! It's all mine! COLE James Riggs now has a shot at the 24/7 Title! He'll have to fight Colombian Heat once again at AngleSlam on August 26th! Let's take a look at the instant replay. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut the ending of the match, starting with James Riggs giving Colombian Heat an Irish whip into the turnbuckle corner. COACH Okay. So, Riggs whipped Colombian Heat into the corner right? Well, Heat reversed it, but thankfully, my man Riggs reversed that! BAM! Heat's back hit that corner HARD! Then, watch this. Watch this. BOOM! JR follows that up with the Rolling Wheel Kick, the same move that will give him the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam! Heat's out like a light. He falls down like a sack of bricks. JR goes for the cover. 1. 2. 3. Your winner, the FUTURE One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, JAMES RIGGS! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. James Riggs has left the ring and is hugging and kissing Staci. The husband and wife duo smile evilly as "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers continues playing. James Riggs puts his left arm over Staci's shoulders. They gloat over Riggs' victory as they walk to the entrance. COLE What a way to start off this edition of OAOAST Syndicated! An exciting, action packed, fast paced match that will now serve as a preview of what's coming up in five weeks at AngleSlam! Another match added to the already stellar AngleSlam 2007 card, James Riggs looks to go 2-0 against Colombian Heat, and this time, get the 24/7 Title in the process! COACH This match will be talked about for a LONG time! James Riggs is about to break out in the OAOAST, Mikey. This match will be his coming out party! JR Nation, it's time to celebrate! COLE Time will tell, Coach. But James Riggs can certainly celebrate tonight! He got a victory over the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion, and now has himself a 24/7 Title shot! And that match will happen, fans, August 26th, 2007 at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 live from Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York. And speaking of AngleSlam, tonight's show will have a profound effect on AngleSlam. Every match involves wrestlers who already got a match to look forward to at our 6th annual summertime spectacular, including one match that will determine ANOTHER match that will take place at AngleSlam, that being the 16-man Battlebowl! Plus, the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Titles will be on the line, the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles will be defended in a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match-- COACH Woo-hoo! Umm...is it too late to involve Staci in that match? COLE I'm afraid it is, Coach. COACH Dang! Oh well. BRING ON THE TITTAYS~! COLE Ugh. Also, don't forget fans, our main event. The Dream Partner Tag Team Match featuring all three competitors in the AngleSlam main event AND a mystery partner. Who's it going to be? We'll find out later tonight! We've still got a hell of a lot more to come fans! So stay tuned! We got to take a break, but OAOAST Syndicated will be right back right after these messages! COACH BOOBIES~! COLE Oh will you stop!? James Riggs taunts some fans at ringside. He and Staci walk to the entrance, JR's left arm over Staci's shoulders, evil smiles on both of their faces. Riggs raises his right hand in the air in victory and laughs manically. Colombian Heat is slowly getting up, depressed over his defeat. James Riggs and Staci exit through the curtains, Riggs' left arm still over Staci's shoulders and his right hand still up in the air in victory, as "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers continues playing. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Titles make their return to the screen as The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christopher Patrick Allen defend their Titles against the team of "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez and D*LUX! * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

Okay then. We've got everything. I've just gotta finish Heat/Riggs, so everyone pray that I have the show up and posted before midnight okay?

Yeah, I was about to ask where was the main event? Even if I was done with Heat/Riggs, which I'm not, but even if I was done, I didn't really want to post the show without a main event. So yeah, thanks for the update. And where's Patty anyway?

Let's put this after the first segment this week, Patty. [IMG=http://embarqblog.wri.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/new-york-city.jpg] We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. [i]The World's Most Famous Arena.[/i] Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. [IMG=http://www.newyorkrangers.com/tickets/images/msg_night_lg.jpg] [i]The World's Greatest City.[/i] Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. [IMG=http://abodenyc.com/images/New%20York%20City%20Images/New-York-Skyline-Night%20-%20Fixed.jpg] [i]The biggest event of the summer.[/i] Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. [b]OAOAST ANGLESLAM[/b] [b]LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN[/b] [b]NEW YORK, NEW YORK[/b] [b]FIVE WEEKS AWAY![/b] NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. [b]COMMERCIAL BREAK[/b]

-Colombian Heat promo -Yet another OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 Countdown ad

Where ever you want to stick it in, Patty. Cut to Maria at the HeldDOWN~! interview set. MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, COLOMBIAN HEAT! Colombian Heat appears in the shot. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat is in his wrestling attire, in addition to wearing tons of jewelry and his sunglasses. Colombian Heat is holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He checks Maria out. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo. Yo. Wat up. Damn girl. You is one fine young chica. Youse a fly honey. I like to get me some of that, lil' mama. MARIA Lil' Mama? I LOVE Lil' Mama! My lipgloss is poppin'! My lipgloss is cool! All the boys they see me/They chase me after school! Maria then starts doing the Running Man, garnering a huge laugh from the crowd and Colombian Heat. HEAT HA HA HA! I's loves me a girl wit a sense of humour! MARIA So, Colombian Heat, can I call you Colombian? HEAT You can call me anything youse want, suga. MARIA Great! So Colombian Heat, this Saturday on the Saturday night OAOAST Syndicated, you're going to be taking on James Riggs. And if James Riggs wins, then you'll have to take on Riggs AGAIN at AngleSlam...only this time it'll be for the OAOAST 24/7 Title. Have I got that right? Heat nods his head. MARIA Cool! So, what are you thinking about heading into this matchup? Are you worry you might have to face him two times instead of once? HEAT Maria, I's ain't worried about a thang! Whateva happens, happens. If I's beats James Riggs this Saturday, cool, if I's lose, then I ain't gonna be happy, but I'ma man, and I'ma be ready to take him on and defend mah Title at AngleSlam! I've been blessed wit a once-in-a-lifetime opprotunity, so I's ain't gonna take it for granted. Anytime I defend dis Title, I'm on my feet ready and willing to go. And if a match happens at AngleSlam, then shawti, it ain't gonna be any different. James Riggs wants some, then he can come GET SOME! The crowd cheers. Heat adjusts the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. HEAT JR thinks he's got mah number. But dawg, you ain't got nothin'! See, there's alot more than what'chu see in Colombian Heat. I's got me some hidden talents. MARIA Me too! Like I can play a flute with my va-- Heat puts his left hand up in Maria's face. The crowd laughs. HEAT Let's save that for later. When it's just you and me. MARIA Ohhhhhh. Okay! *Giggles* Heat chuckles to himself. HEAT Where was I? Oh yes. James Riggs, I's got me some hidden talents. Just when youse think youse got me, BAM! I unleashed mah hidden talents, and shock the hell out of you! So James Riggs and JR Nation, all two of you, go ahead and do your worst this Saturday. Hell, try and do your worst at AngleSlam if we even get that far. It don't matter. Because James Riggs, whether it's on OAOAST Syndicated or at AngleSlam 2007, sooner or later, you will feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- CROWD BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHHHHHHH~! HEAT Hells yeah! Heat turns his attention to Maria. HEAT And dat's it. As for you, I'ma staying at-- Heat whispers what is presumbly his hotel room number to Maria. Maria smiles. HEAT A'ight? Peace. See you later, baby gurl. Colombian Heat winks at Maria. Maria giggles. Heat winks to the camera. He walks away with a swagger in his step. Maria watches him go, staring at his ass. MARIA Guys, back to you. HE IS SO HOT! Maria has to fan herself, she is so hot for Colombian Heat. COLE Looks like Maria got more than what she bargained for with that interview! COACH I don't get it. Colombian Heat talks to her once, and she's puddy in his hands. I've known her for two years now, and how far do I get? Nowhere! COLE Coach, asking Maria if she wants to 'Ride the Chocolate Sausage' isn't such a good pickup line. COACH Well, it is to me. COLE That is why you fail.

-NON-TITLE MATCH Colombian Heat vs. James Riggs (with Staci) STIPULATION: If James Riggs wins, then he gets a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th.

Place this wherever you want, Patty. The camera cuts to the backstage area and the HeldDOWN~! interview set where Maria is standing by with James Riggs and Staci. The crowd boos. Riggs is in his wrestling attire and has a cocky smirk on his face. Staci stands next to him looking lovingly at her man. MARIA Maria here with James Riggs, who made his return to the OAOAST last week in a very rude manner! Last week, you attacked Colombian Heat after he just won the 24/7 Title from Cuban Wall! What would make you do such a thing? JAMES RIGGS Well, Maria, it's quite simple, so simple even you can understand it. You see, I attacked him after his match because I just could not understand why the OAOAST would go ahead and give Colombian Heat a rematch after he BLEW his first match against Cuban Wall. I mean, Cuban Wall squashed him in under 10 minutes! What the hell was the point of having a rematch? What did Cuban Wall need to prove? Does Colombian Heat have incriminating photos of someone on the OAOAST Board of Directors or something? Anyway, it's completely and totally unfair that he gets two shots at the 24/7 Title in the span of two months despite not wrestling on OAOAST TV since April! Sure, I haven't been seen since April either, but that was because I was taking on the best the world has to offer in HI-YAH. What has Colombian Heat done since April? Lie around his apartment doing nothing? Write some crappy rap songs? Smoke some of that 'sticky icky' if you catch my drift? MARIA No, I don't. RIGGS You know, you're much more beautiful when you don't speak. MARIA Really? RIGGS Uh-huh. MARIA Okay then! I'll stay quiet for the rest of the interview! RIGGS That's a good girl. Staci stifles her laugh. JR chuckles. RIGGS But now I'm back in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, and I'm going to make it my mission to unseat Colombian Heat and give the OAOAST and JR Nation a 24/7 Champion they can be PROUD of! And as for Colombian Heat-- Suddenly, Colombian Heat appears in the shot. The crowd cheers loudly! Heat is also in his wrestling attire, but is also wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap backwards. He is holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. James Riggs and Staci both look at Heat with looks of disgust on their faces. RIGGS Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. How you doing, Champ? COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, peep dis, son. I's never had any beef wit you, a'ight? Youse the one dat started tha beef. Well, I's is gonna finish it, ya heard me? RIGGS I hear you loud and clear, Heat! Now, tell me, when do I get my title shot? HEAT Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Wait a minute! I's never said nothin' 'bout no title shot. First things first, I gotta see if you're worthy of gettin' a shot at mah new title. RIGGS Me? Worthy? Heat, do you realize who you're talking to? I'm a future Hall of Famer! I'm the Next Big Thing in the OAOAST! I'm the guy who puts asses in those seats! And you're seriously wondering if I am worthy enough to get a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Title? HEAT Yessir. JR scoffs. He and Staci can't believe what they're hearing. Riggs puts his right hand over his face and takes a deep breath. He then turns his attention back to Heat. RIGGS All right. All right. If that's what I have to do, then so be it. What do you want? HEAT There's a primetime Syndicated show in two weeks. How's about me and you have a match on dat show? If I win, then you stop with dis business about gettin' a 24/7 Title shot a'ight? But if you win...then, we'll face off again for the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam in August. Sound cool wit you? JR quickly thinks this over. Staci smiles. RIGGS Colombian Heat, I have absolutely no problem beating you two times in a row! I accept your challenge! HEAT A'ight then. See, we can do this tha civil way cuz we is grown ass mang. No need for sneak attacks and whatnot! We can do dis tha grown folks way. RIGGS Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you in two weeks, Champ! HEAT See you then, Riggs. Colombian Heat and James Riggs both nod their heads at the same time. Heat then turns and walks away. RIGGS And hey, hold onto that Title tight, because in six weeks time, that Title will be taken away from you, and you'll be remember as the guy who lost both his belt AND his girlfriend on OAOAST Television in the same year! That comment causes Colombian Heat to stop walking and rush towards Riggs! HEAT What'chu say? What'chu say? SAY THAT TO MAH FACE, BOI! COME ON! SAY DAT TO MAH FACE! Heat shoves Riggs! Riggs and Staci just laugh it off. Heat gets in Riggs face, which causes OAOAST Road Agents and security to come and break things up before things get out of hand. Heat continues spitting venom at James Riggs, who just laughs evilly while Staci smiles evilly. Both Heat and Riggs are separated by the OAOAST Road Agents and security. The crowd boos. COLE James Riggs has accepted the challenge! If he can get through Colombian Heat on OAOAST Syndicated in two weeks, he gets a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam! COACH Finally, the moment JR Nation has been waiting for will finally happen. James Riggs with OAOAST gold around his waist! COLE Well, he has to beat Heat on OAOAST Syndicated first. COACH And he will, so let's look into the future. August 26th. James Riggs vs. Colombian Heat for the 24/7 Title! What a moment that will be in JR's career. Winning the 24/7 Championship at Madison Square Garden! That's something he can tell his grandkids about! COLE Who knows, Coach? What we DO know is that another match has been added to an already explosive OAOAST Syndicated on July 28th from London, England! Colombian Heat vs. James Riggs, with a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam 2007 on the line!

White Town - "Your Woman"

-Cuban Wall squash. Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. -James Riggs promo -And I know Jacob Cross is gone, but I feel bad knowing I STILL haven't done our Great Angle Bash 2007 match yet, especially when I had a great match in mind, so on the next HeldDOWN~!, you will finally see the Vitamin X/Jacob Cross No Disqualification Match from OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2007 -And another OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 Countdown Commercial

I've stuck in the OAOAST 24/7 Championship Match into the show. Finally. In addition to that, I've also added in an extra Colombian Heat segment, which is actually somewhat important as it pertains to the future. Now to work on my *other* match from OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2007! Oy vey.

Okay, I really mean it this time. Srly. -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -Colombian Heat segment

Yeah, this is the last segment King Cucaracha told you about, Patty. He and I wrote this one together. So enjoy! As we return to HeldDOWN~! from our final commercial break, yellow banners are draped from the ring ropes the ring has been decked out with a lavish red carpet. A lavish red carpet with a long stripe of yellow carpet placed down the middle, signifying the flag of Spain. Which must mean it's time for the new World Champion's big celebration party. That or Spanish Fly is coming out, I guess. Although, isn't he from Mexico? Oh, wait, shhh. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the NEEEEEWWW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Wrestling Champion Of The WOOOOOOOORRRRRLLLLLLDD... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" On cue, a small mariachi band come piling out of the entrance way playing some celebratory music. The camera pans to the rafters, as a veritable shower of confetti begins to fall from the air, before a sudden explosion of pyro releases another shower, this time of red and yellow balloons. As the carpetted ring begins to fill with the confetti, as well as the drinks of all the crowd, the band suddenly break into a special mariachi version of "Personal Jesus". COLE That's certainly... different. In the midst of all the trumpeting and... uh, what ever else is in a mariachi band... beaming from ear to ear comes LANDON MADDIX, arm in arm with Megan Skye and proudly wearing his newly won Championship over his right shoulder. Landon greets his adoring public with a royal wave before lifting the title off of his shoulder and raising it in the air! COACH There he is Michael, the new World Champion! COLE Landon Maddix pulling out all the stops here tonight, the confetti, the balloons, the band. I'm sure this must be making Zack Malibu, who is no doubt watching us live back in Providence right now, sick to his stomach. COACH Oh, who cares? Zack Malibu is yesterday's news! Here's the man of today! Landon and Megan continue to walk arm in arm to the ring, as the mariachi band plays on. Behind them follow the other 'guests' invited this celebration. Vincent Santana and Marcellus "One Eye" Wallace of The South Central Miltia, plus Todd Cortez, all of whom position themselves at ringside as Landon and Megan take centre stage in the ring. The hundreds of popping balloons eventually begin to drown out the band and threaten to drown out Landon, even before he's taken the microphone from Michael Buffer. Thanking the crowd for their applause, which has been picked up by Landon's selective hearing over the jeers and bangs, Maddix takes the mic. MADDIX Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the new era, the Landon Maddix era of the OAOAST! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Yes, thank you. Thank you. You know, from the moment I stepped through those sliding doors for the first time that this day would come. From day one, not one person in that OAOAST locker room looked like he was capable of matching up to me. Not the bumping and grinding doctors, not the flaming homosexual luchadors, not the [i]countless[/i] guys who looked like they were involved in some sort of boyband reunion. Nobody. Call it what you will. Call it arrogance. Call it a premonition. Call it 'destiny'. (Randy Orton pose) The fact is, it happened. Landon Maddix came, he saw, he conquered... I proved to be the Saviour Of The OAOAST that I proclaimed myself right from the get-go! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Looking over his shoulder, Landon glares at the hundreds of fans on their feet, trying to ruin his celebration. MADDIX As a great man once sung, [i]#Who told you you're allowed to rain on my par - aaaaade#?[/i] In the background, The Militia and Cortez pool together their knowledge of rat-pack singers and still can't prevent that reference from going over their heads. MADDIX Nothing can spoil this mood baby! So save your collective breath. See, I'm right back where I belong, on top of the world! Higher than anyone has ever been before. You see, the whole divide between the SWF and the OAOAST isn't so bitter nowadays, so I'm sure you'll all have no problem recognising me as the four-time... four-time... four-time... four-[i]time[/i] World Champion that I am. And above all else, you'll recognise me as the ONLY man in HISTORY to have won both the SWF and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championships! COLE Well, that is true. MADDIX And right now, there's so many people to thank. This didn't happen by accident. Myself and Megan here, we planned every detail of our plan. We always have a plan. And I've gotta say in all honesty, this was one of our best. Megan playful tells Landon to stop before he embarrasses her. MADDIX Now, I could yak on all day about just how great I am and I could stand here all day saying 'I told ya so, I told ya so'. But let us not forget, this title being around my waist right now is in no small part down to our former World Champion. Let's face it, he played the role of 'nice but dim people's champion' to perfection! And I'm sure he's wondering just what went wrong. So let's talk about what happened last week. Let's talk about Zack Malibu... "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd pop for the ex-champion, drawing a little smirk from La Cucaracha. MADDIX Ah yes, everyone's favourite poster-boy, Zack Malibu. The scourge of the evil-doers of the OAOAST. Blah, blah, blah. Well let me clue you all in. Your precious 'poster-boy' isn't here tonight. While yours truly is out here revelling in the glow of this World Title, Zack Malibu is probably busy changing diapers and preparing bottle-feeds right about now. If he can move yet, that is. "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" MADDIX Did all that balloon-popping damage your hearing or are you just morons!? HE'S. NOT. HERE. TONIGHT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Zack, did you not think I'd remember everything you've done to me since I've been in this company? Or did you just underestimate me? Either way, you made the biggest mistake of your life! Don't think I've forgotten War Games. Don't think that you trying to castrate me with a metal spike in front of thousands of people doesn't still eat at me. And don't for a second think that I don't forget you dumping me out of the Lethal Rumble this year! Zack, I would have taken this belt whoever was holding it, trust me. But the fact it was you I humiliated and sent packing made this victory all the sweeter! Landon adjusts the belt over his shoulder. MADDIX Your whole crusade to be a 'fighting champion' was all the opening I needed Zack. You just made it that bit easier by falling into the trap so willingly. You accepted my challenge before I could even coax you into it! And how ironic, that you thought you'd got rid of me at The Great Angle Bash. Zack, I could have cashed that Money In The Bank contract in any time in the lead-up to The Bash. There were so many perfect opportunities. But you just kept digging that hole deeper and deeper for yourself with your relentless bravado. I knew sooner or later, your body would self-destruct. And I, ingeniously, kept that contract in reserve, [i]just incase[/i]. Just how much damage you've suffered, I don't know. Must be quite a bit, considering you were so delusional last week, you actually thought these guys were coming to [i]save[/i] you! The SCM laugh away in the background. MADDIX The moment these two cleared the deadwood, you should have high-tailed it, while you still could. But yet again, the brave, proud Zack Malibu just couldn't run away! And yet again, you paid the price. It's not a mistake I'll be making Zack. See, unlike you, I'm not ruled by the cheers of these people! I'm ruled by my head, not my heart. So let's hope playing house husband suits. Because as long as you let that bleeding heart of yours carry you along through life, you're always going fall short to the new Power Couple of the OAOAST! COACH Ouch! COLE Another slap in the face to the former World Champion and of course, former Women's Champion Candie, his wife and the mother of his child. As Megan and Landon cosy up in the middle of the ring, none of the three in the background look all that impressed. Cortez in particular, of course. The love-in is interrupted by the fact they're in front of a worldwide audience and a capacity crowd in the arena though. Thankfully. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, let's start celebrating already shall we? Without any further ado, I'd like to lead you all in a rendition of one of my favourite songs. It's a song near and dear to my heart. Feel free to join in if you know the words... Todd, Militia, that includes you too... [b]*AHEM! -HEM!*[/b]. COLE What the hell is this? COACH He's clearing his throat. COLE Yeah, I get that bit, but... MADDIX [i]#I've paid my dues#[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE ...Oh dear lord. MADDIX [i]#Time after time!#[/i] C'mon Todd, don't be shy. [i]#I've done my sentence... but commited no cri...#[/i] The lights go down in the arena. The crowd instantly start buzzing, probably just pleased that the unexpected blackout has stopped the World Champion's singing. But after a few seconds the fans aren't quite so cheery, as Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: [b]*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*[/b] With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. COLE What the hell is THIS now!? COACH Uh, I get the feeling that this isn't part of the celebrations somehow. The entrance doors slide open, and out comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick! The crowd boos louder. PRL is standing in his wrestling attire holding his black briefcase spray-painted with L.C. in yellow which contains his Golden Contract inside. Popick is holding a microphone in his right hand. Both Popick and Tha Puerto Rican stare intensely at Landon Maddix, while The South Central Militia and Todd Cortez get into their fighting stances. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is out here! What does he want? COLE Well last week, Todd Cortez attacked PRL backstage. Think that has something to do with it? COACH You don't think Tha Puerto Rican's still bitter about that, do you? COLE Coach, it's Tha Puerto Rican. OF COURSE he's still bitter about something! Landon is as confused as the crowd as to why PRL is out here. But their confusion is about to end as Stephen Joseph Popick brings the microphone to his lips as "Know Your Role '99" dies down. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Landon, Landon, Landon. You know, I gotta hand it to you, Landon. What you did last week was quite clever of you. Having other guys beat up Zack Malibu, and then going in for the kill. I gotta say, that was quite impressive. People, please give a nice warm round of applause for Landon Maddix, YOUR NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd, naturally, responds with a nice round of boos for the Champ. Maddix is a little leary of what Popick is saying, knowing full well the history of The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. COLE Where is this going? COACH Shut up, Cole. We're about to find out! POPICK Now, Landon, if I were you, I'd just...take a break. Yeah, relax. Take a vacation. That's what I would do. You've worked really hard to become World Champion, and you deserve a little R&R. So, why don't you take your little girlfriend and go to Bahamas or back to Spain or whatever. Take most of the whole summer off! You'll need all the relaxation you can get. Because by the time Labor Day comes, you will no longer be the World Heavyweight Champion! This piques Landon's interest. LANDON What? What do you mean? POPICK That's because, Landon Maddix, on August 26th, from Madison Square Garden in New York City, at AngleSlam 2007, MY Client, MY CORPORATE Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, is cashing in his Golden Contract and is coming after you and the World Heavyweight Title! COLE Whoa! We finally have a date! Tha Puerto Rican is going to cash in his Golden Contract at AngleSlam! COACH What a main event that's going to be! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Landon Maddix one-on-one for the World Heavyweight Title! POPICK The countdown is on my friends. We are now on the Road To Glory with the final stop at Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of Sports-Entertainment! In 8 weeks time, the Era of Lightning will begin in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Popick hands the mic over to Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos. Landon is stunned at the fact that he already has an opponent for the next OAOAST pay-per-view. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. Last week, you stuck your roody poo candy ass where it didn't belong! I was going to cash in my Golden Contract last week against Zack Malibu, but you stuck nose in and took WHAT SHOULD BE MINE! Landon cracks a smile, while the crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN I sent Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X out there as a 'warm up match' for Zack-- COLE I knew it! THA PUERTO RICAN But then that jabroni you call a friend, Todd Cortez, Pearl Harbor'd me and held me there while you went ahead and stole the Title from Zack! COLE Held him there? More like beat him up to a bloody pulp! COACH Hey, we didn't see everything that happened! Maybe he did just hold him back! COLE Oh come on! PRL Now normally, I would applaud such tactics...BUT NOT WHEN I'M THE VICTIM! But no, oh no, I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. What's done is done. And I'm not an idiot, so tell your men I'm not going to rush into the ring to kick your monkey ass. Not tonight! No, I'm going to save it for AngleSlam, not for these pieces of trailer park trash here in Tampa, Florida! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL Shut up! You know you guys can't compare to Miami! COACH He's right you know. TPR At AngleSlam, on Sunday August 26th, at Madison Square Garden in New York City, in front of thousands upon thousands of Puerto Ricans, MY people, and in front of the millions-- CROWD --AND MILLIONS! Tha Puerto Rican gives the crowd a dirty look. THA PUERTO RICAN ...Don't do that. As I was saying, the millions AND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans watching around the world, they will see "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican whup that candy ass from pillar to post and in the end, finally, FINALLY win the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! The crowd boos. Landon stands in the ring unimpressed. THA PUERTO RICAN So, I think the OAOAST made a huge mistake in letting this celebration take place tonight. Because then they won't have any money to plan the celebration of MY title victory on HeldDOWN~! on August 30th! But it's okay. Vitamin X and Popick will pull through, I'm sure. So Landon, get ready, because that Title is coming home where it belongs, to Tha Puerto Rican! I'll see you in 8 weeks, Landon! THE CHAMP HAS-- CROWD SPO-KUN~! PRL once again gives the crowd a dirty look. Popick shakes his head. THA PUERTO RICAN Tampa, Florida, this is not sing-along with The Champ. Tha Puerto Rican does it himself! PRL tilts his head back and takes a deep breath. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Tha Puerto Rican throws the microphone down. "Know Your Role '99" starts playing again. PRL and Popick have smirks on their faces as they stare at Landon. Landon is now annoyed. LANDON MADDIX Oh yeah? Well, Just Bring It (does hand gesture), you second-rate Rock impersonator! I don't need anybody's help to beat your ass at AngleSlam! I've got you in my scope, P.R.! Your ass is mine! You ain't taking this away from me! I own your ass at AngleSlam! You hear that? OWN. YOUR. ASS! Landon raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head and points to it. PRL raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head. Popick points to the briefcase and then to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title belt, and then to PRL's waist. He then puts up eight fingers to symbolize there's 8 weeks left until AngleSlam. Landon discusses this current situation with Megan while The South Central Militia and Todd Cortez just stare angrily at Tha Puerto Rican and Popick. COLE Well, it's only July 5th, but we already have our AngleSlam main event! COACH And what a main event! It's going to be the greatest AngleSlam of all-time! PRL/Landon. First Time Ever! Live from Madison Square Garden! COLE The countdown is on. We are on The Road To Glory. In 8 weeks, 52 days, Tha Puerto Rican and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix will collide for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleSlam! I wonder what Zack thinks of all of this? COACH Bah! Zack is old news! PRL vs. Landon is the wave of the future! The OAOAST marketing machine better go full blast for this one! This is going to be the biggest AngleSlam EVER! I SO cannot wait for this one! Tha Puerto Rican mouths off to Landon, who mouths off back. Megan Skye has to hold Landon back, since he's about to blow a gasket. COLE What a way to end tonight's HeldDOWN~!. While HeldDOWN~! may be over, on the horizon is quite possibly the biggest AngleSlam main event in the history of the OAOAST! We have it confirmed now. Tha Puerto Rican will cash in his Golden Contract which he has held since August of LAST year at AngleSlam on August 26th! And what a match that's going to be! COACH I'm calling it now. Match of the Year Candidate. COLE This will certainly be a much anticipated match. The first ever meeting, the first ever interaction PERIOD between these two! But we've still got quite a way to go before then, so for Jonathon Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying good night, and we'll see you next week for more exciting OAOAST action on HeldDOWN~! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican points menacingly at Landon Maddix and does the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture. He laughs manically and then he and Stephen Joseph Popick exit through the entrance doors. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix stands in the ring fuming, with Megan Skye trying to calm him down. The South Central Militia and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez discuss what just went down outside of the ring. Landon slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and stares at the entrance even though PRL and Popick have left. All the while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

I'm working on the final segment now.

Because I never wrote it for The Great Angle Bash and it's too late to edit it in now... -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -Colombian Heat segment

Dang dude. That was fast!

Yes.

Yeah, the Vitamin X/Jacob Cross match is definitely going to be late. I haven't even begun on Cuban Wall/Colombian Heat and I'm going to bed now. So just post the show and I'll edit in that match when I finish it, depending on whenever I do finish it. Yeah.

Hey Patty O'Green, if you're doing one of those segments from the OAOAST Action Zone with Maggie Nerdly, insert this promo into that segment. kthxbye. The camera cuts to Colombian Heat standing in front of a blue screen. Inserted onto the blue screen is the words COLOMBIAN HEAT written in grafitti style font on a chainlink fence. A boombox is at the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Heat is in his wrestling attire. COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey yo, dis Sunday I'ma get anotha shot at gettin' some goal here in tha OAOAST. I'ma get things poppin' when I step into tha ring wit tha big mang, Cuban Wall. But yo, I ain't afraid of dis goof. Yeah, I got mah ass whopped last week. I ain't gonna front. I didn't do good. But in life, it's not how many times youse fall, it's how many times youse get up. And dawgs, I'ma up, and I'ma ready to kick some Cuban ass! I ain't gonna cower, and I ain't gonna bow down to him cuz my momma always told me dat tha only person youse is supposed to bow down to is tha almighty Father. And Lord willin', dis Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, your boi Colombian Heat is gonna steamroll into Washington D.C., kick some ass, dance a little like you know I do, and then beat dat scrub 1-2-3 to become tha NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion! And afterwards, tha OAOAST will bear witness to tha most poppin', most illingnest, most dope, most fresh, most unbeliveably CHILL 24/7 Title reign EVER! Oh yeah, we is gonna get CRUNK in D.C. dis Sunday, betta belee dat boi! A'ight peace I'm outtie 5,000. I'll see you later. One. Colombian Heat throws up the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal as the promo ends.

-Brains & Brawn vs. Colombian Heat and Jacob Cross (This will be written by Jacob Cross by the way) -Colombian Heat promo

-OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will also be in the building

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. COLE Can you feel the Heat? The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat runs out onto the entrance stage and raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first. The challenger. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat slaps some fans hands and then climbs the ring steps. Heat hops into the ring. COLE Colombian Heat going for his first singles title tonight! And he's doing it against a former running buddy! COACH The history between Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall has been talked about again and again. So let's just sit back and watch the slaughter! COLE Coach, can't you give Heat a *little* credit? COACH Nah. He's boned. COLE Coach. Oy. Colombian Heat gets on the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again, receiving more cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle, and grabs a microphone. COLE Colombian Heat came to the rescue of Spanish Fly after his match against Cuban Wall last week. Tonight, Heat looks to do what Spanish Fly couldn't do last week. Colombian Heat hasn't wrestled on HeldDOWN~! in quite some time, but he has been in action around the globe, wrestling in HI-YAH several times over these past few months. COACH They can take him and keep him for all I care! If I never ever see Colombian Heat ever again, it will be too soon! Colombian Heat has a smile on his face as "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT COT DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK ON HELDDOWN~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" HEAT And wot betta place to return home than right here in MEMPHIS, TENN-E-SEE! (CHEAP POP!) HEAT So, Memphis, we's in tha dirrty dirrty, and I knows that in tha dirrty dirrty youse likes to get CRUNK! And we's about to get CRUNK cuz I's am leaving herre tha NEW 24/7 CHAMPION! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" HEAT So, if all of y'all are ready to see me make Cuban Wall feel the Heat and become the new 24/7 Champion...then Memphis, Tennessee, make some noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!" The crowd goes wild. Colombian Heat smiles a wide smile as he puts the microphone away. Heat jumps up and down and stares at the entrance with his game face on. COLE Colombian Heat is ready for this match! He wants to become 24/7 Champion tonight on HeldDOWN~! "LIGHTNING CREW!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *[i]No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah!) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy polticians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)[/i]* A few seconds later, the entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall has the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face. COACH Here comes the biggest 24/7 Champion EVER! Colombian Heat's in trouble now! BUFFER And his opponent. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion of the worrrrlllllllllldddddddddddddddddddd. He is The Muscle for The Lightning Crew. CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit as he walks to the ring. COLE Cuban Wall has no love lost for Colombian Heat. Here is what he had to say earlier about his opponent tonight. A small box appears on the upper left hand corner of the screen. Cuban Wall stands in front of a blue background while holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He is in his wrestling gear because he lives, breathes, and eats wrestling DAMNIT! CUBAN WALL My name is Cuban Wall. I enjoy drinking beer, smoking fine Cuban cigars, listening to heavy metal, and having sex with some fine fine ladies. But the one thing I love more than any of that is kicking some serious ass! Now my opponent tonight is no stranger to me. Suffice to say, I've hated his guts ever since I first met him! He's always been an annoying, idiotic, obnoxious, untalented, ASS to me! And tonight, I hope this will be the last time I will ever EVER have to get in the squared circle with him! I will make sure of that! This is NOT about big vs. small. This is NOT about rock vs. rap. This is about a talented superstar kicking the crap out of the least talented superstar in all of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Colombian Heat, say your prayers, because you're going to need all the help you can get when you step into the ring with me! It's almost game time, are you ready? Because YOUR ASS IS MINE! COLE Cuban Wall with some big words for Colombian Heat tonight! COACH He'll back up his words too. This is not going to be pretty. Not at all! COLE We're about to find out in only a heartbeat away! COACH Oh boy! I've been waiting for this all week! Cuban Wall uses the ropes to pull himself up onto the ring apron. He enters the ring--Colombian Heat attacks him! Heat keeps on attacking him, preventing Cuban Wall from entering the ring! COACH What the hell? COLE Colombian Heat wanted to get a heads up I assume! COACH What is he doing? STOP HIM! STOP HIM! Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. *DING DING DING* [b]OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH CUBAN WALL (Champion) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Challenger)[/b] Colombian Heat beats on Cuban Wall to the crowd's delight! COLE Colombian Heat going for first blood right now! Colombian Heat punches Cuban Wall repeatedly as he finally enters the ring! But then, Cuban Wall grabs Heat and gives him a headbutt, knocking him down! COACH Ha! Ha! Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks Cuban Wall again! But Cuban Wall shrugs off the attack and headbutts Heat again! Mike Chioda grabs the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt that Wall dropped, and hands it over to a ringside attendant. COLE Cuban Wall is just too big for Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks again! Cuban Wall headbutts Heat AGAIN! He then starts punching Colombian Heat in the face! Heat stumbles around ringside. Wall grabs Colombian Heat and gives him the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! Cuban Wall grabs Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a big boot that causes Colombian Heat to tumble through the first and second ropes and onto the floor! COLE Cuban Wall is in control of Colombian Heat as this match gets started! Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air. The crowd boos loudly. Wall taunts the fans. Mike Chioda begins his 10 count. COACH If Heat knows what's good for him, he'll just stay down. COLE Colombian Heat has the heart of a champion, Coach! He won't back down until he gets what he wants! And right now, he wants the 24/7 Title! COACH 'Heart of a champion'? Come on, Cole! Stop looking into the big book of cliches, and make up something of your own next time! Colombian Heat gets on his knees. He takes a deep breath, already groggy, and slides back into the ring at the count of 6. Cuban Wall quickly starts stomping him into mush. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLE This crowd trying to rally Colombian Heat back into this match! Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up, removing his Colombian flag bandana in the process. Cuban Wall punches Colombian Heat in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! Cuban Wall gives Colombian Heat an Irish Whip into the ropes. Heat bounces off the ropes. Wall follows with a Bossman Slam! He goes for the cover. 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! Cuban Wall eyes the referee, but carries on. Colombian Heat's eyes are glazed over. CW picks CH up and punches him in the face again. And again! And again! And again! Wall scoops Heat up. Wall charges forward towards a turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against the turnbuckle! Wall charges forward towards another turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against that one too! Wall heads towards a third turnbuckle, slamming Heat's back against that one. He finishes it off with the fourth turnbuckle, and completes his signature move with a powerslam! Cuban Wall goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THR--KICK OUT!!! COLE Colombian Heat will not give up! He will not quit! COACH And he will not win the 24/7 Title the way this match is going! "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while he picks him up. Wall gives Heat a double-armed DDT! Wall goes for the cover. 1....2....KICK OUT! Wall sneers at the referee. He then picks Colombian Heat up again. Wall scoops Heat up. Bodyslam! Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and down with a legdrop, NO! Colombian Heat moves out of the way! COLE Colombian Heat escaped just in the nick of time! COACH What? Come on Wall! Don't let the stupid idiot beat you! Colombian Heat gets up. He picks Cuban Wall up. He goes for the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~! Not even close, as Cuban Wall shoves him into the ropes, and then hits him with a MASSIVE clothesline! COLE Oh! And Colombian Heat's comeback has been cut short! COACH Good. We're back on track now! Cuban Wall chokes Colombian Heat with his bare hands! Mike Chioda orders Wall to stop at the count of 5. 1! 2! 3! 4! Cuban Wall lets go of Heat's throat. Wall grabs Colombian Heat, and lifts him up onto his feet by his throat! Cuban Wall throws Colombian Heat over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Uh-oh! This isn't good! Cuban Wall is on the outside with Colombian Heat! That's no man's land right there! COACH It's not like this is anything new! Things haven't been going Colombian Heat's way all match! The crowd boos loudly as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope. Colombian Heat is crawling on the outside. Cuban Wall slowly follows him then picks him up by his shirt and yellow basketball jersey. Heat is dazed and confused. Cuban Wall whips Colombian Heat into some ring steps. Heat hits the ring steps right shoulder first with the top ring steps falling off due to the impact! COLE Whoa! COACH That's right, Wall! Do your thing! You're the man, Wall! You the man! Colombian Heat is lying on the floor, breathing heavily. Cuban Wall taunts the fans at ringside. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks over to where Colombian Heat is lying and picks him up. Cuban Wall measures Heat up, and punches him square in the nose! Heat stumbles, but Wall holds him up by his jersey. Wall grabs Heat by his head and throws him back into the ring. Wall follows over the top rope. COLE Colombian Heat has gotten barely ANY offense in this match! COACH And that's the way it should be. Are you surprised? COLE No...I Just thought he might put up a little bit more of a fight! COACH He wouldn't, Because Cuban Wall is better than Colombian Heat in every way including arts and crafts! Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up again. CW places Colombian Heat in between his legs, lifts Heat up, and gives him a Piledriver onto the mat! Cuban Wall gets up and lifts his right hand in the air! The crowd boos. COLE Oh no! Oh no! COACH CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he watches Colombian Heat get up. Heat slowly gets to his feet. COLE Cuban Wall is going for the Chokeslam! This could be the end of this match! COACH It WILL be, Michael! It WILL be! Cuban Wall motions for Heat to get up. Colombian Heat is on his right knee. Wall is yelling for Heat to get to his feet. COLE Wall signaling for another one of his signature moves. The Chokeslam! Colombian Heat is slowly standing up straight. He turns around...Cuban Wall grabs him by the throat! COACH GOOZLE~! GOOZLE~! Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while still clutching his throat! COLE Chokeslam coming up! BUT THEN Colombian Heat kicks Cuban Wall's right knee! He does it again! He does it a few more times, breaking the goozle! Colombian Heat hits Cuban Wall with forearm shots to the face! The shots daze the big man, but that's all they do! COLE Colombian Heat making the comeback! COACH Stop him, Wall! Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall's left arm and whips him (after trying twice) into the ropes. Cuban Wall reverses--Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes. Cuban Wall grabs him, lifts him up onto his left shoulder, and falls to his knees, giving him the WALLBREAKER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 COLE Wallbreaker! Cuban Wall just gave Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker! COACH YEAH! Big time man! Big time! Colombian Heat squirms on the mat! Cuban Wall stares down at Heat, and then rushes forward, bounces off the ropes, rushes forward, jumps up and down crashing onto Colombian Heat! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH Just like Spanish Fly last week! Cuban Wall gets up to smile evilly, and then covers Colombian Heat. Referee Mike Chioda counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (5:09) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Cuban Wall absolutely DOMINATED Colombian Heat! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up, scoffs at Colombian Heat, and then gets his hands raised by Mike Chioda. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! COLE Cuban Wall controlled most of the match! He barely gave Colombian Heat any offense! Another successful title defense for the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion! COACH Two weeks in a row, baby! First Spanish Fly, now Colombian HACK! And that's all he is, a HACK! Cuban Wall proved it tonight! COLE Well, Cuban Wall IS 6'7" 285 lbs, Coach! This was going to be a challenge for Colombian Heat anyway! COACH Wouldn't a superior athlete be able to overcome the size and weight difference? COLE Maybe... COACH Maybe? No, DEFINITLEY! Cuban Wall proved tonight once and for all that he is better than Colombian Heat! Now hopefully, they'll never have another match against each other ever again! Mike Chioda hands Cuban Wall the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. Wall raises the belt over his head with his right hand. The crowd boos loudly as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Colombian Heat is lying on the mat, breathing heavily. Mike Chioda checks on him. COLE Colombian Heat tried, but Cuban Wall was just too much for him! Cuban Wall's 24/7 Title reign continues on for another day! Let's take a look at the replay! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to a replay of the match, starting with Cuban Wall headbutting Colombian Heat at the beginning of the match. COACH My man Wall dominated from the beginning! Poor little Colombian Heat tried to fight in the beginning, but Wall just shrugged him off like he should! *Cut to Cuban Wall hitting Colombian Heat with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms.* COACH (CONT'D) Watch this! BAM! Cuban Wall with those CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! *Cut to Cuban Wall clutching Colombian Heat's throat for a chokeslam.* COACH (CONT'D) Cuban Wall went for a chokeslam, and yeah, Colombian Heat managed to escape *that*, lucky bastard. But, you know what? Cuban Wall came back! *Cut to Cuban Wall giving Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker, followed by The Lightning Crew Splash.* COACH (CONT'D) BAM! Wallbreaker! And then, BOO-YAH~! The Lightning Crew Splash! 1! 2! 3! That's it! That's all! That's all there is! *Cut to Cuban Wall raising his right fist in the air when he came out.* COACH (CONT'D) Your winner and STILL STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion, CUBAN WALL! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cuban Wall slings the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. He looks down at Colombian Heat and scoffs, saying something under his breath. Mike Chioda is still checking on Colombian Heat as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope. COLE Colombian Heat tried to avenge his friend's loss last week, but came up short this week! COACH Yeah, life is good for Cuban Wall right now! COLE You maybe right! I mean, who can stop him and end his title reign? COACH NO ONE! That's who! HA HA HA HA HA! COLE Cuban Wall walks away with his head held high. Another victory under his belt as he has been on a roll since winning the 24/7 Title at AngleMania VI! Colombian Heat tried, but in the end, Cuban Wall was just too much for him! But if I know Colombian Heat, I know that he will live to fight another day! Cuban Wall walks up the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks. Cuban Wall jaw jacks with some fans, threatening to give them a knuckle sandwich should they touch him. He laughs maniacally as he gets to the entrance stage. Colombian Heat is still lying on the mat, his eyes glazed over, breathing heavily, and coughing like mad. He tries to get up as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing.

-OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -The Lightning Crew promo