Ed Wood Caulfield

So, we agree? The 24/7 Titles and X-Division Titles will be merged into a brand new belt? Because if that's the case, a storyline idea just popped into my head. Can we possibly hold off on merging the belts till after AngleSlam?

When would we go ahead with the change? Because, what happened last Thursday between Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat is the start of a feud over what is currently the 24/7 Title. And even if we merge the X-Division and 24/7 Titles, I still like the idea of a name change.

I'm not really crazy about naming a title after the board. I still like the International Championship better.

The ramp that connects to the ring?

Have we ever had an International Title? If not, then I suggest renaming the 24/7 Title to that.

Uh...not to sound like an egomaniac, but I felt like PRL's 24/7 Title reign did a good job of making the 24/7 Title the second most sought after title in the OAOAST. Either way, I strongly oppose absolving the 24/7 Title because I've got plans in the works that will see to it that it becomes our version of the Intercontinental Title. I don't know about absolving the X-Division Title either. I think we've got enough wrestlers to have a good enough X-Division in the first place. Besides, how sad is it that Dance Dance Dragon finally wins a belt in the OAOAST, only for it to disappear. Can't the Heartland Title just become sole property of WDW? Merging the tag titles sounds good to me. I'm also kind of hesitant of merging both World Titles. Although it doesn't really make much sense to have a HI-YAH World Heavyweight Title but not a HI-YAH World Tag Team Title. Speaking of which, whatever happen to the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Title? Personally, I say we just get rid of the Six-Man Titles. I never really was a fan of them, to be honest. And don't forget about the OAOAST Women's Title! It'll be defended. Trust me. I've got some ideas about that too.

I know what to do, and I did it! The Cuban Wall/Spanish Fly match is in, believe it or not!

Place this right before the Zack/Boricua match, which should be easy to do since I'm posting this BEFORE the show. Go me! The camera cuts to the backstage area. The camera does a pan of Mr. Boricua, starting with his feet, and going *all the way up* to his head. The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua is wearing his sunglasses and staring out into the open, with his arms crossed. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican stands right next to him, and the size difference is quite obvious. PRL is sporting a new slicked back hairstyle and is in his wrestling attire. Stephen Joseph Popick stands to the opposite side of Mr. Boricua looking on with an evil grin on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stands behind Boricua, holding the OAOAST Women's Championship belt (remember that?) over her left shoulder. The rest of The Lightning Crew watches from a distance. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN All right, Boricua. This is it! This is your night! YOUR moment! YOUR destiny! Remember, your whole career you've been working for this one moment! Your time in the sun! Tonight is your night, YOUR day of glory! You, my friend, are Bound For Glory! Do you hear me? MR. BORICUA YES! THA PUERTO RICAN Good. This is it, Boricua. You're going to anilihate Zack Malibu. You're going--you're going to rip him apart. Take him out. You're--you're going to crush him. You're going to chew him up and SPIT him out! You're going to--you're going to DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS BONES! YOU'RE GOING TO SQUASH HIM LIKE A BUG! YOU'RE GOING TO CRIPPLE HIM! MR. BORICUA GRRRRR. PRL YOU'RE GOING TO CRUMPLE HIM UP LIKE HE'S A NEWSPAPER AND THROW HIM INTO THE GARBAGE! MR. BORICUA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! PRL You're the biggest threat he's ever faced! You're bigger than The Big Show. Bigger than Andre The Giant. You're the biggest big man the OAOAST has ever seen, and tonight you are going to become THEIR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! MR. BORICUA ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL And then, Boricua, what's going to happen next? MR. BORICUA Uhhh...Me. Give. Belt. To. You? PRL No! No! No! No! Not that! No, Boricua! No! Uh-uh! Not that way! No! Absolutely not! No! We just don't give belts over to people in the OAOAST! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK But P.R., isn't that how you got the 24/7 Titl-- THA PUERTO RICAN Cool it! POPICK Chill. PRL No. See, remember what we talked about? After you beat Zack Malibu, I'm going to come out and cash in my Golden Contract. (PRL holds up his black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract inside) Then, we'll have a match. HOWEVER, because you'll be so tired and in pain from your match with Zack *wink wink nudge nudge*, the match will be short because you won't be able to handle my awesomeness. So, you'll fall to the Corporate Nightmare, I'll cover you, and I'll become the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and FINALLY FINALLY FULFIL MY DESTINY! MR. BORICUA But. Tonight. My. Destiny! PRL looks surprised at hearing this. He quickly tries to find a way out of this predicament. PRL Uh...it is. Boricua, it is. Trust me. It is. It is your night of destiny too! Really, it is. MR. BORICUA Really? PRL Yes. Really! I swear. POPICK Yep. It is, Boricua! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ He's right! MR. BORICUA You. Sure? PRL I swear, Boricua. Cross my heart. Hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye! MR. BORICUA I. Hate. Needles. Needles BAD! NEEDLES BAD! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL Uh, needles bad! Needles bad! I know, Boricua! I know! Now, go out there and do what I say, which is...? MR. BORICUA DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! PRL That a boy, Boricua! Now, go out there and win the World Title for me--and you too! POPICK Yeah! LINDSAY You can do it Boricua! MR. BORICUA DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL taps Boricua on his right shoulder and walks away. The Lightning Crew and Popick cheer him on. PRL, Popick, and Lindsay follow him, PRL holding the black spray-painted briefcase with an evil smile on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Go get him, big man! POPICK You're the man, Boricua! LINDSAY You can do it, Boricua! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! Go get 'im, Boricua! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Do it, big time, big man! CUBAN WALL This is your night, dude! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! PRINCESS STACEY Good luck, Boricua! The crowd boos. The camera cuts to Sofa Central with Double C~! COLE I can't believe it! PRL is using Mr. Boricua as a way to get the Title to him! COACH Why can't you believe it? It actually makes sense once you think about it! COLE Well, I supposed after four years, nothing is unbelievable when it comes to Tha Puerto Rican. COACH That's why he is the best wrestler never to wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title...until tonight! COLE Well, we'll find out coming up next! Zack Malibu puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on the line against Mr. Boricua in a match that "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will surely be watching! Zack Malibu vs. Mr. Boricua in the main event for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in just a heartbeat away! It's coming up next right here on HeldDOWN~!

-Mr. Boricua pre-match segment -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Spanish Fly (Challenger)

Khali almost fell.

This is supposed to start the "second hour" of HeldDOWN~!, but really, place this sometime before the scheduled Vitamin X/Jacob Cross match please. kthxbye The lights go down in the arena. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE What the--? What's going on now? COACH I don't know, but I'm scared! Suddenly, Gregorian chants start playing over the P.A. system. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crowd is puzzled. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH You can say that again. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH Shut up. *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* The funeral march now plays, better known as The Undertaker's theme song. COLE What is going on here!? COACH It looks like we're having a funeral! COLE A FUNERAL!? For whom!? A blue light shines on the entrance stage. The entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke come four Druids carrying a white casket. Two of the Druids are much bigger than the other two. COLE My God. It's...a casket! Being wheeled to the ring by Druids! COACH This is certainly something we don't see in the OAOAST every week! COLE Yeah. (Thank Goodness) The white casket has been spray-painted with numerous Lightning Crew propaganda: "P.R. RULZ", "PRT 9:12", "LIGHTNING CREW 4-LIFE", "BOHEMOTH SUX", "PRL IS GOD", "LC > OAOAST", and "WE ARE IN CONTROL!" Following the casket and the Druids is Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing sunglasses and a black suit and tie ensemble. Next to him is a woman wearing a veil over her head in addition to a black sports jacket, a white dress shirt, white gloves, a black mini-skirt, and black heels. COLE Wait a minute? Popick? A spray-painted casket? What is going on here!? COACH Something mighty interesting, Cole! COLE Why do I get the feeling this is leading to something I won't like? COACH Because you're a negative Nancy, that's why! The Funeral March continues playing as the casket is wheeled to ringside. The woman uses a napkin to wipe tears from her eyes. Popick consoles her. The Druids slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) wheel the spray-painted white casket next to the ring. COLE This is a bizarre scene as we begin the second hour of HeldDOWN~!. The two smaller Druids walk over and bow their heads before the casket. Then, one of them opens the top of the casket... and THA PUERTO RICAN pops right up from inside the casket laughing manically like the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt! COLE I knew it! COACH PR is here! And he's alive! The Funeral March is immediately replaced with "Know Your Role '99"! The lights go back on inside the arena. The crowd boos loudly. The two big Druids help PRL out of the white casket, and then remove their hoods to reveal CUBAN WALL and MR. BORICUA! The two smaller Druids remove their hoods to reveal THOMAS RODRIGUEZ and THE BONE THUG. All four men remove the Druid outfits. PRL taunts the fans at ringside and then walks with a cocky swagger up the ring steps. Popick removes his sunglasses and applauds his client. COLE This is just another Lightning Crew charade! Tha Puerto Rican, rubbing it in the fans' faces that he's still standing after the BRUTAL Hell In A Cell Match last Sunday at School's Out! COACH He proved EVERYBODY wrong, Michael! EVERYBODY thought PRL was dead meat! EVERYBODY thought last Sunday was the final match of Tha Puerto Rican's career! But they were PROVEN WRONG! They were WRONG! PRL should celebrate! He surprised EV-VER-RE-BO-DY! COLE I guess Tha Puerto Rican has a right to celebrate... COACH He sure does. COLE But he needed some help last Sunday to beat Bohemoth. Namely, he had to have Vitamin X dress up as Caboose in order to win! COACH Eh, that's all schematics. Anything goes in a Hell In A Cell Match remember? The important thing is that PRL had his hand raised last Sunday night, and NOT Bohemoth! Stephen Joseph Popick holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. He does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL laughs manically some more. He is wearing a bandage around his head and is wearing sunglasses this time to hide the fact that both his eyes are black and blue. He's also dressed in a black suit and tie ensemble in addition to his usual $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist and engagement ring on his right ring finger. COACH Look at him! So brave, so strong. He went through HELL last Sunday, and yet, four days later he has decided to grace us with his presence. Really, he shouldn't have! COLE Yes. He REALLY SHOULDN'T have! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all enter the ring in their usual attire, except for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who STRIPS...to reveal a red Rancid tank top with the right strap cut off to reveal a black bra strap, a gold necklace, an engagement ring on her right ring finger, and an even SHORTER skirt, this one denim blue with purple stars drawn on it. Lindsay hands PRL the black spray-painted briefcase with *his* Golden Contract still inside. PRL kisses Lindsay and then goes to get a microphone. COACH And he gets to go home to *that* every night! Wow, PRL is a lucky guy right now! COLE As much as it pains me to say it, he is on top of the world right now. Two big victories took place at School's Out last Sunday. Zack's, obviously, but also Tha Puerto Rican's. And not only that, but Bohemoth suffered a concussion thanks to the cricket bat to the head and will be out of action indefinitely! COACH HA HA! That's great to hear! COLE Not so great for Bohemoth. COACH Well, DUH! But great for Tha Puerto Rican! He has taken down another OAOAST superstar, and STILL is in possession of the Golden Contract! What a great time it is to be Tha Puerto Rican! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! THE CHAMP...IS...ALIVE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Hallelujah! "Know Your Role '99" dies down. But the crowd is still booing. PRL smiles evilly. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all watch with evil grins on their faces. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" THA PUERTO RICAN Now, now, now. Settle down. Settle down. Now, I hate to say 'I told you so', but...I TOLD YOU SO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL I told you all that I would live to fight another day! I told you all that I would STILL be the Man With The Golden Contract. I TOLD YOU ALL that Bohemoth would DIE, and guess what? I DID EVERYTHING I SAID I WOULD DO! COLE Well, he did 2 of those things. COACH Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) I stand before you today STILL YOUR Corporate Champion! I stand before you today STILL the holder of The Golden Contract! And most importantly, I simply stand before you today, NOT Bohemoth! The crowd boos viciously. PRL smirks. "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" THA PUERTO RICAN Go on. Keep booing me. I live off of making you guys pissed off! The booing gets LOUDER. A "P.R. SUCKS" chant breaks out. COLE The hatred these fans feel for Tha Puerto Rican is amazing! COACH It's a bit unhealthy too. Seriously, these fans need some anger management! PRL It was supposed to be my day of reckoning! It was supposed to be my judgment day! It was supposed to be My Last Stand! But in life, what's *supposed* to happen, and what *does* happen sometimes don't always match up! Last Sunday, when you all sat down in your trailer parks and watched School's Out, I know you were all hoping that you were watching my retirement match, weren't you? "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yeah, I thought so. And you were all hoping that Bohemoth would rip me apart limb from limb right? "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yep. I'm sure you were. And while it's true that I did not leave that match unscathed, all it takes is a little elbow grease and some plastic surgery, and I'll be back to 100% in no time! PRL smiles, revealing that he somehow has gotten back the two front teeth that he lost on Sunday. COLE Are those...fake teeth? COACH So what if they are? You think P.R. would go through life like that? COLE They're still fake, Coach. COACH IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY'RE FAKE! They're there, and that's that! Now let us never speak of them again. PR I had my doubts, I admit it. I was a bit scared, a bit worried that I would be hurt in this match. That I would have several broken bones. That I would not be around for my own wedding. And yes, I got the HELL beaten out of me by Bohemoth. I got hurt. Hell, I fell off the Cell through a BARRICADE for Christ's sake! It was the most dangerous, violent, brutal match I've ever had. I went through HELL last Sunday night! But you know what...I SURVIVED! That's right! I...SUR-VIVED! I I came out of that match ALIVE! I got out of that Cell as the winner, NOT the loser! And I am standing on my own two feet tonight in front of all you pieces of trailer park trash, while Bohemoth sits in a hospital bed somewhere in Houston a LO-SER! COACH PR is speaking the truth! He is not lying! Not at all! Everything he says is TRUE! COLE Yes. Yes. I know! Don't remind me! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Tha Puerto Rican chuckles. THA PUERTO RICAN Ask your mother, sister, niece, and grandmother how much I SUCK! COLE Grandmother? COACH P.R. likes the boomin' grannies with big old panties. THA PUERTO RICAN I can now add the Hell In A Cell to my list of accomplishments in addition to being a 3-time Puerto Rican Champion! A former North American Champion! A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion! The greatest X-Division Champion EVER! AND the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! I am a GOD in the squared circle and a Casanova in the bedroom! (PRL winks at Lindsay. Lindsay blushes.) PRL I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Even my friend, "Tito" Trinidad says I'm better than him, and he's a freakin' boxing LEGEND! I am the controller of my own destiny and right now things couldn't have been better. In short, I RULE. YOU SUCK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH I'm not worthy! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" PRL Bohemoth? BOHEMOTH!? THERE'S one name you won't be hearing for a while! The crowd boos. PRL laughs. TPR Last Sunday, Bohemoth was added to my list. I have taken out yet ANOTHER OAOAST superstar, yet ANOTHER one of your 'heroes'! I have beaten each and every person the OAOAST has thrown at me. You set them up, and I knock 'em down! And Bohemoth joined the illustrious list last Sunday night at School's Out! Bohemoth joined the list that includes such names as Naz Mistry. "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR K-NESS. "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR "Shooter" Jay Darring. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Panther. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR D*LUX. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR John "Rock Hard" Brickston. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR The Mad Cappa. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Colombian Heat. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR And Leon Rodez. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR I have beaten each...and...every one of them, MORE THAN ONCE in some cases! And now, Bohemoth has joined that PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE list! I have taken down the people you love! I have laid to waste the people you root for! I have slay the people whose names you chant! I have done all of that, and yet you people STILL don't give me the respect I deserve! You people STILL boo me! You people STILL throw stuff at me! You shouldn't be doing that crap! Each and every one of you idiots should be standing up right now, and chanting my name! 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' P.R.'s "P.R.!" chant morphs into another "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. sneers at the crowd. The Lightning Crew and Popick sneer with him. COACH No respect. He gets no respect! COLE Maybe if he earned it. COACH What more must he do? COLE Maybe win fairly once in a while. THA PUERTO RICAN You see, that's why I'm going to continue making your lives a living HELL! "BOO!" "HISS!" "BOO!" "HISS!" PRL Now, I must give credit where credit is due. I did not win this match all by myself last Sunday. No, I had some help. Some very good CORPORATE help! So now, it is my honor to introduce to you, the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew (The boos start), the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew (The boos grow), my right hand man (Louder) and my BEST FRIEND, The Prince of The Lightning Crew, Prince Vitamin, VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd boos loudly. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, accompanied by Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew. X is wearing a blue collared shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a dark blue sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch around his right wrist, sunglasses, blue jeans with a leather belt, and black workman boots. Princess Stacey is wearing a blue blouse with white trimming, blue jeans, a necklace with her name on it, gold bracelets around her wrists, black heel shoes, and of course, her tiara. VX walks down the entrance ramp with a smile on his face, his right arm hooked with Princess Stacey's right arm. COLE There's the man who turned the tide for Tha Puerto Rican last Sunday! COACH The X-Man made his return, and all is right with the world again! COLE I can't believe we all thought Caboose would be the one that beat up Bohemoth last Sunday! COACH Well...it's not like Caboose has been a saint in the past! COLE Coach, he changed! For the better! I can't believe I was almost fooled by the damn Lightning Crew! COACH It's happened more than once, Cole. You know it. VX warns a fan to keep his hands away from Princess Stacey. He and Stacey walk up the ring steps. COLE Vitamin X hadn't been seen since OAOAST Syndicated last month, and then he makes his return disguised as Caboose! Nobody saw that coming! COACH Which is why it WORKED, Cole! Vitamin X did a BRILLIANT thing last Sunday which will be talked about for years to come! VX gets onto a second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into an X. He then jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring. Vitamin X holds the ropes for Princess Stacey to enter the ring. Vitamin X gives PRL a big hug. The two compatriots smile evilly at each other. THA PUERTO RICAN GIVE THIS MAN A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! "YOU SUCK X!" shouts one drunken fan. PRL does the "We're Not Worthy" bow at X. Prince Vitamin blushes. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. PRL Thanks in part to this man, I am here tonight! X, you did your boss proud. Excellent job! P.R. shakes X's right hand. VX takes the microphone. VITAMIN X Thank you, boss. You know, we all showed the world, we all showed them, that SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! Am I right, P? HA HA HA HA HA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Vitamin X hands the microphone back to PRL. X puts his left arm around Stacey's shoulders. THA PUERTO RICAN Good luck later tonight. Now, the question on everybody's mind is: what's next? And quite frankly, that is a good question. Because after what I went through last Sunday, it makes you wonder just what I can do to top it. Well, don't worry Lightning Bolts, because I know just how I will top the Hell In A Cell! You see, while I was getting pummeled by Bohemoth last Sunday night, several thoughts went through my head. One of them was 'Oh God, I hope I don't crap my tights!' The other was 'Wow. I am going to die!' And that thought made me think about something else. That life is short. It goes by too fast. One minute, you're a baby, the next minute, you're in an old folks home. What you had yesterday could be gone today. And my Golden Contract could have disappeared last Sunday at School's Out! The title shot I WORKED MY ASS OFF for could have been destroyed. My one guaranteed Title shot that's been in my hands since August of last year could have been taken away and given to Bohemoth! All because I sat idly by and let time fly without cashing it in. Well, oh no, OH NO, I am NOT going to sit idly by no longer! Oh Hell to the no! This Golden Contract, this ticket to the top, this gateway to my future, is not going to be collecting dust anymore! No, starting now, I am making a statement! The Golden Contract WILL be used by the end of the year! People have been asking me ever since August when I was going to cash it in. And I kept saying, 'When the time is right'. The time IS right! After all these years, things are FINALLY starting to go my way! So that is why I am ready to cash in my guaranteed World Title shot ASAP! I have done it all! Except one thing. One thing that has been eating at me ever since I came to the One And Only AngleSault Thread. One thing that has alluded me my entire career! Well, I am going to get that one thing and show the world just how great I really am! If you want something to happen, don't wait for it to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN! It is time for me to lay waste to another hero. And this time, it is the biggest hero of them all! Tha Puerto Rican raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez removes his sunglasses so that the fans can get a good look at his black and blue eyes. He has a serious look on his face. Popick holds the mic underneath his lips. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Zack Malibu...I'M COMING FOR YOU! "Know Your Role '99" begins playing again. Lindsay puts PRL's sunglasses back on. PRL grabs the black spray-painted briefcase and stares at the crowd. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has thrown down the gauntlet! He is gunning for Zack Malibu's World Heavyweight Title! COACH First Landon, now P.R.? Everybody wants a Title shot now! COLE Well, Zack said he was going to be a fighting Champion! Looks like the challengers are already lining up! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick leave the ring. Popick holds the ropes for Lindsay, and then Lindsay holds the ropes for PRL. Princess Stacey holds the ropes for Vitamin X. X and P.R. talk while putting their arms around their respective ladies' shoulders. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has held the Golden Contract since August 17, 2006, since 9 months ago. And it looks like he doesn't want to wait any longer to cash it in! COACH Good for PR, I say! He's the best wrestler to never wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Now he can change that! COLE We'll have to wait and see *when* exactly P.R. will cash in his Title shot, but the fact of the matter is Tha Puerto Rican doesn't want to wait much longer to get another shot at becoming OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH I can feel it. He's gonna do it this time. He's going to win the World Title when he cashes in his Golden Contract! I can feel it! His time is near! The Lightning Era is about to begin in the OAOAST! COLE After last Sunday, anything is possible. We'll be right back after this! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican walks up the entrance ramp carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside. He stops to taunt a fan, but then continues onto the entrance stage. The rest of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick follow him. "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system while the crowd boos. [b]FADE OUT[/b] [b]COMMERCIALS[/b]

::Surprises Zack with a DIAMOND CUTTER~!:: KA-BLAMO~!

I suppose my segment can open the "second hour" of the show if you will.

I call opening segment. Trust me, there's a good reason for that. Also: -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Spanish Fly (Challenger) EDIT: Which will happen NEXT week. Sorry folks.

Can I have the pre-main event spot? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? The Cell is close to the ground when we return to live action. COLE And there you have it. That is what has led us to today. Tha Puerto Rican, for the first time in his career, will step into the dangerous Hell In A Cell against the 6'7" 284 pound Bohemoth. And fans, I don't think this will be for the weak of heart. COACH I can't believe that this match is happening! Oh God. I'm gonna say a silent prayer for Tha Puerto Rican if you don't mind. COLE Go ahead. In fact, stay silent as long as you want. I don't mind! COACH You little... COLE Fans, the only other person that'll be in the Cell is the referee, Charles Robinson. But other than that, PRL and Bohemoth will be all alone. No Lightning Crew member will be able to help Tha Puerto Rican tonight, just as Bo wanted! This might just be the biggest challenge Tha Puerto Rican has ever faced and I think it's safe to say that he is the underdog in this match-up. COACH That just gives him more ammunition to beat Bohemoth and PROVE YOU WRONG! COLE Weren't you saying a silent prayer? COACH I was taking a break. Here I go again. What up G? It's your greatest creation Coach here! I just want to ask if you could watch my main homie PRL tonight in his match against the demon -- ya know, Bohemoth. COLE Coach, a silent prayer is supposed to be SILENT. COACH Okay! (Mumbling) COLE Ugh. Anyway fans, this is it. It's about to begin. The first half of the double main event of School's Out: Tha Puerto Rican vs. Bohemoth. Hell In A Cell! The Golden Contract is on the line! Is this PR's Last Stand? We are about to find out. Let's go to the ring! The Hell In A Cell is on the ground. *DING DING DING* The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. This causes the crowd to pop. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing over the P.A. system. The crowd stands up, greatly anticipating PRL's entrance. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The boos get louder. P.R. looks at the crowd with disgust etched on his face. He's wearing his HBK-like entrance attire of blue cowboy chaps and a blue vest in addition to his usual sunglasses and earring on his left ear. He's also carrying his black briefcase that has the Golden Contract inside which has "L.C." spray-painted on the front in yellow. Puerto Rican raises the briefcase over his head to boos. COLE And there he is. And he's holding the Golden Contract...possibly for the last time. This just might be the last time we will ever see Tha Puerto Rican, at least walking on his own two feet. There might not be anything left of him after this match-up! With a sneer on his face, PRL continues raising the black spray-painted briefcase over his head as Stephen Joseph Popick comes out, wearing a black PRL T-shirt, a leather jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his left wrist, black jeans, and black boots. And his glasses, can't forget that. Popick raises his hands to jeers from the crowd but an evil smile on his face. Popick talks to PRL while the OAOAST Women's Champion, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, comes out. She is carrying the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder, and is wearing a black tube-top with "LC" spray-painted onto it in purple, a gold necklace, diamond earrings, gold bracelets, black finger-less gloves with a drawings of bones on them for some reason, a belt with a skull and crossbones belt buckle, tight black jeans with purple pinstripes, and black heel boots. And her hair now has pink highlights. Lindsay outstretches her arms and garners a mix of boos and cheers which she responds with a cocky smirk. COACH *Drool* COLE Coach, stop drooling! COACH Dude, just LOOK at her! PRL gives his wife-to-be a kiss on the lips, and then motions for someone else to come out. After a few seconds of waiting, Cuban Wall, the Muscle of The Lightning Crew, comes out to LOUD boos. Wall, the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt resting on his right shoulder, walks with his eyes focused right on the ring. He raises his right fist in the air, and then high-fives PRL. PRL then high fives Lindsay and Popick. COLE Well, he's got 3 people with him, but they're not going to do any good. They're not going to be allowed in the Cell! COACH They're just there for moral support. This IS PRL's biggest match to date you know! COLE For once you may be right. COACH Plus, well...this maybe the last time PRL will see any of his friends or his fiancee ever again. I can't believe I just said that. COLE You may be right about that too, Coach. PR looks at Popick, then at Lindsay, then at Wall, and together, the four of them begin their walk to the ring as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. BUFFER The following contest is the Hell In A Cell Match scheduled for one fall and it is for the Golden Contract. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick, his fiancee, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, AND the Muscle of The Lightning Crew, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion Cuban Wall. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is a former OAOAST North American Champion. A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. A former OAOAST X-Division Champion. A 3-time OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion. AND the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew. The Man With The Golden Contract. He is "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Popick puts his left arm around PRL's shoulders and taunts the camera while they continue their walk to the ring. COLE We've got a dead man walking! COACH Oh hush up! COLE Seriously, Michael Buffer listed all of PRL's accomplishments, and yes it's true. Tha Puerto Rican has beaten alot of men and won quite a few titles in his four year career in the OAOAST. But he has also hurt, betrayed, lied to, manipulated, and just been a general ASS to most of the OAOAST roster during his time here! So, to the OAOAST fans, and possibly most of the roster, this is a match that is a long time coming! Infact, I know for a fact that there's a large group of OAOAST wrestlers assembled backstage watching on a monitor, all of whom hoping to see the demise of Tha Puerto Rican live in Houston. COACH You people. You sick people. You WANT Bohemoth to hurt Tha Puerto Rican. You WANT him to destroy poor PR, end his career. How do you sleep at night? PRL does NOT DESERVE THIS! COLE That's one man's opinion. COACH It's the right opinion. COLE There's no such thing as a 'right' opinion. That's why it's called an opinion and not fact! COACH Yes there is. Here's another opinion: Michael Cole is a gay fruitcake. Can you deny that? COLE Oh will you stop? Soda and garbage is thrown in PRL's direction as he gets closer and closer to the Cell. PRL looks at the camera and mouths, "I'm the man." Popick mouths, "You want the best? You got it!" COLE PRL looking cocky and confident as ever. I wonder if he's just playing for the cameras? COACH Nonsense. PRL is ready to go. He might have been scared before, but he knows what he's getting himself into. He's ready. Bohemoth just better BRING IT! COLE He seemed to be frightened beyond belief earlier tonight. COACH THAT was just for the cameras. What if Bohemoth was watching? PR's not afraid of any man! Not even Bohemoth! Watch! COLE Amazing how you can change your opinion at a moment's notice! COACH Pot. Kettle. Me. Tha Puerto Rican walks close to the Cell...and then without missing a beat, turns right around and walks back to the entrance! COLE Wait...where is he going? COACH It's all part of the plan. Don't you see? Wall, Lindsay, and Popick just watch as PRL walks back to the entrance, shaking his head leaving the crowd confused. His theme music continues playing as PRL walks through the curtains. COLE Did he just forfeit? COACH Uh...I guess? COLE He DOES realize that if he forfeits, then Bohemoth gets the Golden Contract right? COACH He does? OH CRAP! PRL COME BACK OUT! COME BACK OUT! The camera focuses on the entrance for a few seconds...until finally, PRL comes right back out...along with OAOAST Road Agents Terry Funk, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Mike Rotundo, Ted DiBiase, and Dean Malenko! COLE It looks like PRL has been FORCED back out here! COACH They're forcing him against his will! There's a conspiracy against Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Pipe down Coach! The OAOAST Road Agents order for PRL to enter the Cell. PRL tries to keep his cool, but it's obvious to everyone watching that he's going to break down at any moment. PR nods his head and then turns to his friends and motions that there's nothing he can do. Now, Lindsay, Popick, and Cuban Wall are slightly worried as they watch PRL take a deep breath...and walk through the door, entering the Hell In A Cell. COLE Well, he's finally in. Thank goodness. COACH Oh lord. Oh God. Oh SWEET JESUS! The crowd boos loudly as The Corporate Champ climbs the ring apron and stops on the ring apron. Instead of sneering at the crowd like he usually does, PRL mutters something about the OAOAST Road Agents. PRL has a look of hesitation on his face, but after some more motioning from the OAOAST Road Agents, PRL looks at Lindsay, Wall, and Popick, and then enters the ring. PRL spins around; soaking in the fans' boos. PR continues looking back at the OAOAST Road Agents, muttering to himself. He starts to take off his blue vest, when the pyro explodes right behind him, causing him to jump back a bit! COLE P.R.'s pyro went off without him! Tha Puerto Rican stops to recover and catch is breath as the crowd laughs. He says, "Oh yeah. I forgot." PRL grabs his black spray-painted briefcase and walks over to a second turnbuckle where he raises the briefcase over his head. The crowd boos. PRL heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head again. The crowd, again, boos. COLE PR's off his game a bit, isn't he? COACH No he's not! He's not! He's ready! Oh boy, is he ready! PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his black spray-painted briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" as a spotlight shines on him a la The Rock. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he does the same Rock pose while the crowd boos. PRL looks at his crew, who are still standing in the entryway, now even more worried than before. The OAOAST Road Agents are also there. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and finishes taking off his blue vest and cowboy chaps. COLE Well, he got himself into this. It was his chairshot that led to this match! He asked for all of this, as far as I'm concerned. COACH No he didn't. NOBODY asks for a Hell In A Cell Match! NOBODY. This is the fault of the OAOAST Board of Directors, and when PRL dies because of this match, I hope that Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez sues them for everything they got! COLE Coach, first off, you're admitting that PRL is in big trouble here. And second of all, if Lindsay were to sue the OAOAST Board of Directors for everything they got, you would be out of a job! COACH Well...umm...maybe...I...darnit! COLE Heh. I never get tired of pwning you! COACH I hate you so very much. Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant. P.R. then looks at his briefcase. After staring at it for a moment, he kisses the briefcase, and then hands it over to referee Charles Robinson, who raises it over his head, and then hands it over to the ringside attendant as the lights go back on in the arena. COLE This is only the second ever meeting between Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican. We all know about the melee that ended OAOAST Syndicated last month. And this Hell In A Cell will see to it that it doesn't happen again. COACH Couldn't the OAOAST have thought of a better, *safer* way to have a rematch than *THIS*!? I mean, this match has shortened many careers! COLE It's the best way to settle this feud once and for all! No outside interference, no countouts, no disqualifications. The only way this match ends is by pinfall or submission! So it'll either be the Erotic Awakening Of B or the Corporate Nightmare that could quite possibly finish this match! COACH And finish a career. COLE That too, Coach. The Hell In A Cell has gotten the nickname "The Devil's Playground" for a reason. And we are about to find out why. Tha Puerto Rican is now inside the Cell, and he might be staring into his grim future. Tha Puerto Rican stares at the roof of the Cell. He then does a big cartoonish *Gulp*. He looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall, who root him on half-heartedly. Sweat is now dripping off of PRL's nose. Puerto wipes the sweat off of his forehead, but doesn't do anything to stop shaking in his boots. "Know Your Role '99" dies down as Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth in the ring. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" PRL yells at the crowd to stop chanting that. P.R. covers his ears to drown out the chant, but it doesn't work! COLE The fans getting on PRL's back already! COACH Would they STOP with that chant already? Bo's not gonna kill ANYBODY tonight! If anybody's doing the killing, it's Tha Puerto Rican! Cole, stop laughing! "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" PRL stands tall in the ring, looking right at the entrance, trying not to think about the chant. He has a serious expression on his face, but it's quite obvious that he's hiding his fear (and failing at doing so quite miserably, by the way). PRL does a cartoonish *Gulp* again. COLE Is he up for the task against "The Metrosexual Monster"? There's a group of people backstage hoping this is the last they'll ever see of Tha Puerto Rican, and I'm sure these fans are hoping for the same result! COACH They're going to be so pissed when PRL proves them wrong! I can't wait! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL isn't even bothering to pretend anymore! The moment "Liberate" by Disturbed starts playing, he jumps back and a look of pure and utter FEAR appears on his face! COLE I think the reality of the situation has finally set in for Tha Puerto Rican! THA PUERTO RICAN Oh...my...GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! PRL is looking around the Cell for escape as Bohemoth himself comes out slowly, staring right at Tha Puerto Rican. Bo flexes his muscles IN ANGER~! PRL is standing still in utter fear as Bohemoth stares right at him through his orange-tinted sunglasses. Bohemoth begins his walk to the ring as "Liberate" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Greenville, South Carolina. Weighing in at 284 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion and a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion. He...is...BOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEMOOOOTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COLE PRL's gonna be all alone in there like a rat in a trap against HIM! COACH SHUT UP! Don't rub it in! COLE This is Bohemoth's day, ladies and gentlemen! A sold out Toyota Center in Houston, Texas is about to see a match that some say is four years in the making! Bohemoth wants School's Out 2007 to be forever known as the date of PR's Last Stand! COACH SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Bohemoth stops and lowers his sunglasses so that he can get a good look at Tha Puerto Rican, before pushing them back up and continuing his walk to the ring, walking past a worried Popick, Lindsay, and Wall along the way. Bohemoth enters the Cell and then jogs up the ring steps. COLE Bohemoth is in. Tha Puerto Rican is in. Referee Charles Robinson is in. We are just about ready for Hell In A Cell! PRL stands at a turnbuckle corner as he watches Bohemoth remove his orange-tinted sunglasses and throw them away. Bohemoth has now locked eyes with Tha Puerto Rican. PRL looks around frantically for a way to escape. After a quick limbering process, Bohemoth enters the ring. As soon as he does, PRL scuttles out of the ring to find Charles Robinson pad locking the door to the Cell. THA PUERTO RICAN What are you doing? What--what--what are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? COACH This is not a good time to be Tha Puerto Rican! COLE No indeed not as the referee for this match locks the Cell cutting off Tha Puerto Rican from his friends and girlfriend! COACH Say goodbye, PRL! This might be the last time they ever see you! :( PRL Come on! Do you have to lock it? Can't you leave it open? Please? Please? Please? The OAOAST Road Agents stand by to make sure that the Cell door is locked tight. Popick, Lindsay and Cuban Wall shove their way to the door so that they can say goodbye to PRL. The three of them offer last words of encouragement while Bohemoth stands in the ring, waiting for the bell to ring. COLE I think Tha Puerto Rican is having second thoughts now! The OAOAST Road Agents are there to make sure that it is indeed locked. There will be NO interference from The Lightning Crew! There is only one way out, and that's through the door, BUT the referee is the only person who'll have the key to unlock the door! PRL is close to tears now as Popick, Wall, and Lindsay hold onto the steel mesh. They try to calm PR down, but it's not working. THA PUERTO RICAN Lindsay! LINDSAY! POPICK Stay cool, brother! Stay cool! You're gonna win! You're gonna win! LINDSAY Keep calm, baby! I'm here! I'll be here for you when you get beat him! CUBAN WALL We're here in spirit, boss! Don't worry! Go get him! PRL Guys don't go! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK! COLE The Lightning Crew and Popick trying to console Tha Puerto Rican. But I don't think it's working! It's PR in the inside of the Cell, NOT Popick! Tha Puerto Rican 'suddenly realises that he left his TV on stand-by' and realising the damage he could be causing to the environment, he tries to open the Cell door, but it's been pad locked. Still, he doesn't give up, pulling on the door as hard as he can and failing. Bohemoth watches as PRL kisses Lindsay one more time and then climbs the ring steps. COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican, and Tha Puerto Rican ALONE must deal with Bohemoth! COACH Oh my God. This is real. This is real. This is really happening! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! OH MY GOD! COLE Well, this won't be pretty. We can tell you that much. Thank God we're on pay-per-view! The OAOAST Road Agents take Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall back to the entrance. Lindsay blows PRL a kiss as she walks away. PRL waves goodbye, and then stares at Bohemoth who is in the ring. PRL takes a deep breath, and then enters the ring himself. COLE And here we go. The match the world has been waiting for! COACH I can't watch this. But I must because I am a broadcast journalist and it's my job. COLE Oh, don't make me laugh! "Liberate" by Disturbed dies down. TPR stares at Bohemoth. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of the bell ringing. PR and Bohemoth stare at each other from opposite sides of the ring. Neither man says a word. COLE I think I have an idea of what's going through PR and Bohemoth's heads right now. COACH Me too. Oh how I am NOT looking forward to this! COLE Well, he brought this on himself! Everything that happens in this match is own fault! COACH No it isn't! Not at all! That's B.S.! COLE No it isn't. COACH Yeah it is. COLE No it isn't. COACH Yes it is. COLE No it isn't. COACH Yes it is. COLE Yes it is. COACH No it isn't. COLE Yes! COACH Damnit! Charles Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* [b]"P.R.'s Last Stand?" HELL IN A CELL MATCH FOR THE GOLDEN CONTRACT "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN (Holder of The Golden Contract) vs. BOHEMOTH[/b] Bohemoth and PRL continue staring at each other. Finally, PRL says something. And keeps talking. And talking. And talking. COLE PRL laying in the trash talking, like usual. COACH He's the master at it! The Corporate Champ tries to psych out The Epitome Of Masculinity, but Bohemoth stands there unfazed. P.R. then rips his white Lightning Crew T-shirt like Hulk Hogan and throws his Puerto Rican flag bandana at Bohemoth! The crowd boos! COLE Who does he think he is? Hulk Hogan? COACH He does the shirt ripping better than Hulk! COLE Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let's not say things we can't take back! PRL flexes his muscles and shows off his own impressive (but not as impressive as Bohemoth's) physique, and then walks right up to Bohemoth and starts jaw jacking with him. COLE PRL is confronting Bohemoth face-to-face! COACH See? He's not afraid! He's not afraid! COLE This is something we've seen over the past four weeks, but this time, Bohemoth is free to do whatever he wants! COACH And he'll STILL chicken out! PRL waggles his head and raises his voice, but Bohemoth continues staring at him. THA PUERTO RICAN You're a fool! A fool Bohemoth! You're an asswipe, a loser, and I'm going to be SO happy when I destroy you tonight! YOU'RE GOING DOWN BOHEMOTH! YOU'RE...GOING...DOWN! Bohemoth punches PRL in the face! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He's waited four weeks to do that! Tha Puerto Rican staggers around the ring, already dazed and confused! Bohemoth just watches as PRL stumbles back towards him. THA PUERTO RICAN That didn't hurt. Tha Puerto Rican Flair Flops onto the mat! COLE I guess it did! Bohemoth goes to pick Tha Puerto Rican, but PRL quickly zooms out of the ring! Bo calmly climbs out of the ring and follows PRL around ringside. COLE Now Tha Puerto Rican is trying to run away from Bohemoth! COACH But where is he going to hide? COLE Exactly! There's nowhere to hide in the Hell In A Cell! Tha Puerto Rican pleads with Bohemoth to stay away from him, but Bohemoth just walks slowly towards PRL with anger on his face, like a killer in a slasher flick. PRL jumps over the ring steps and continues running while Bohemoth continues walking slowly, knowing he's got PRL right where he wants him. At one point, PRL bumps into Bohemoth, so he turns around and runs the other way! COACH This is truly Hell In A Cell for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE He won't be hard to find! Tha Puerto Rican slides into the ring. Once he sees Bohemoth sliding into the ring, PRL bounces off the ropes. Bohemoth goes for a clothesline. PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes, and right into a big boot from Bohemoth! COLE This won't be pretty! This will NOT be pretty! COACH Here we go! Oh God! Tha Puerto Rican is kissing the canvas! He tries to get up, but falls back down! Bohemoth helps PRL up by picking him up by his head, and then slamming his head on the top turnbuckle pad! PRL stumbles, but he doesn't fall! Instead, PRL stumbles through the first and second ropes, gasping for air. COLE Tha Puerto Rican got himself into this, let's see if he can get himself out! Bohemoth grabs PRL, and then slams his head on the same top turnbuckle pad as before! This time, PRL FLIES out of the turnbuckle corner and onto the mat! Puerto Rican is already dazed and confused as he rolls around the mat. Bohemoth picks PRL up again by his hair and then slams his head on another top turnbuckle pad! COLE This whole thing started on the April 12th edition of HeldDOWN~!, and it will end tonight at School's Out! COACH Yeah, but the question is: who will be more injured? PRL or Bohemoth? COLE I think the answers obvious. COACH Oh hamburgers! PRL stumbles to the mat, and uses the ropes to pull himself up. Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Bohemoth goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and hits Bohemoth in the head with a Rock-style punch! He does it a second time! Then a third! And a fourth! And a fifth! And a sixth! COACH Look! He's fighting back! He's fighting back! Yes! COLE He is, surprisingly so! The punches do affect Bohemoth, as he rests on the ring ropes. PRL continues hitting him with Rock-style punches to the temple as the crowd boos. COLE PR's gonna have to fight back! It's the only way he'll survive this match-up! Tha Puerto Rican's Rock punches take Bohemoth to a turnbuckle corner. PR continues laying in his left fists into Bo's face! PRL stands on the second rope, and starts hammering away at Bohemoth's head with rapid fire punches. "1! 2! 3! 4! 5!6!7!8!..." COACH Ha ha! Idiots! They can't count that fast! COLE Coach, it would be impossible to count that fast. COACH Not for me it ain't! PRL grabs Bohemoth's by his left wrist and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. P.R. charges forward. Stinger Splash! COACH Excellent Stinger Splash from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is already doing better than he did last month on OAOAST Syndicated! PRL follows up the Stinger Splash with a kick to the abdominal area of Bohemoth! The Corporate Champ then goes back to his Rock punches, weakening the 6'7" former OAOAST 24/7 Champion! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! PUNCH! COACH Yes! He's doing it! He's really doing it! COLE PRL is in control, hammering away at Bohemoth as this match gets underway! I'm sure he has already surprised the naysayers! COACH He has! And I just KNOW he loves proving them wrong! TPR taunts Bohemoth, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle--Bohemoth reverses--PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! Bohemoth follows that up by clotheslining PRL, knocking him down! COLE And Bohemoth fires back on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH AAAH! Bohemoth stops PRL from falling onto the ground by grabbing his tights. Bo pulls P.R. back into the ring. He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his EAR! COACH Ouch! Watch what you're doing there! You could have ripped his ear clean off! COLE Then what would happen? Would he start ripping Mick Foley off? COACH Oh will you stop? Bohemoth says something to PRL while holding him by his left ear like he was a nun at a Catholic school! PRL whines, so Bohemoth slaps his mouth! PRL OW! COLE People have been wanting to do that for years! Bohemoth clotheslines PRL back down to the mat! He then goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE He kicked out!? COACH Yes. He did! COLE Wow. That legitimately surprised me. COACH Not me! Oh no! Bohemoth doesn't let the fact that PRL kicked out after two minutes of ass kicking stop him. He gets up, and waits for PRL to get up too. Tired of waiting, Bohemoth grabs PRL by his hair and whips him into the ropes. PRL bounces off the ropes, and Bohemoth grabs him in a Cobra Clutch! Bo then gives PRL a backbreaker! COLE Style Injection! Bohemoth just watches as Puerto clutches his back in horrible pain! He picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. COLE I think Bohemoth is going to take Tha Puerto Rican apart limb from limb! COACH He's taking his sweet time because he can! He's in no hurry! He wants to destroy PRL once and for all, so he's inflicting much pain on him as he can! He's ENJOYING this! The sick freak! Bohemoth punches PRL in the face! COLE There's the punch for March 10, 2003! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE There's the punch for March 11, 2003! Bohemoth punches PRL a third time! COLE There's the punch for March 12, 2003! COACH What are you doing? COLE Bohemoth said he would punch Tha Puerto Rican for everyday he's been in the OAOAST, so I'm just helping him count along! COACH You're enjoying this too, aren't you? COLE Well-- COACH AREN'T YOU!? COLE Eh...a little. COACH I knew it! You little goatee wearing bitch. Bohemoth punches PRL in the face a fourth time! COLE There's the punch for March 13, 2003! Bo punches PRL again! COLE March 14, 2003! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! Again! Again! Again! COLE March 15, March 16, March 17, March 18, March 19, March 20, March 21, March 22, 2003! COACH STOP IT! Bohemoth chokes PRL with his right boot! COACH Now come on! I know this is no disqualifications, but this isn't right! Charles Robinson tells Bohemoth to stop with the choking, but he's still doing so, as PRL gasps for breath! After a few more seconds of choking, Bohemoth stops and then gives the ref a dirty look. The crowd has quieted down and is intently watching Bohemoth dominate Tha Puerto Rican. And Bo continues doing so, scooping Tha Puerto Rican up and then slamming back down onto the mat HARD! PRL lets out a girlish scream! Bohemoth bounces off the ropes, charges forward, jumps up, and then jumps down with his right knee hitting PRL's face! COLE Kneedrop from Bohemoth, and a BIG kneedrop at that! COACH Goodness gracious! His knee is as big as PR's face! Bohemoth calmly goes for the cover. ONE...TWO...KICK OUT! COLE Whoa! He kicked out again! COACH He's showing sparks of life! They're not there for long, but they ARE there! And as long as they're there, there is still hope! Bohemoth argues with the referee, but Charles Robinson puts up two fingers and that's that. PRL gets up, now severely weakened just like last month, and stumbles around the ring. Bohemoth puts a stop to that by grabbing P.R. and whipping him into the ropes. Bohemoth follows that up with a BIG BOOT! PRL falls to the mat! COACH I thought I saw something fly out of his mouth! Indeed something did...PRL's own teeth! The crowd is shocked at this development. PRL slowly crawls on over to his stomach, and there he makes the shocking discovery... HIS TWO FRONT TEETH ARE MISSING! PRL is HORRIFIED when he touches the holes where his teeth should be! PRL's two front teeth are now lying on the mat, which the camera does a close-up of! COLE His teeth are gone! Bohemoth has literally knocked Tha Puerto Rican's teeth out! COACH I don't believe it! Look at that! Look at them lying on the mat! Oh, his matinee idol looks are gone! All these years and they're gone! PRL's gonna end up looking like a toothless freak! COLE So then he'll rip off Mick Foley? COACH Michael Cole, please shut up about that! Tha Puerto Rican is freaking out! He rushes over to grab his two front teeth, but is stopped by Bohemoth. Bohemoth then looks at PRL, looks at the teeth, and then stamps his right foot on the two front teeth! COLE Oh! Adding insult to injury! PRL is teary eyed! He speaks with a lisp now as he tries to get used to having no two front teeth anymore. THA PUERTO RICAN My teeth. My teeth. My teeth! Bohemoth kicks the remains of PRL's two front teeth out of the ring and then picks the toothless Puerto Rican up. Bo gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Bo goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, stops in his tracks, and hits Bohemoth with a punch! And then another punch! And another! And another! COACH Yeah! That's what you get for knocking his teeth out! Lay the smackdown on his candy ass, P.R.! The crowd boos loudly! PR goes for a punch...BLOCKED! Bohemoth punches Tha Puerto Rican, which sends him hard back down onto the mat! PR flops up and down like a fish out of water! Bohemoth picks PRL up. He punches him right in the face! COLE That's for March 23, 2003. Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE March 24, 2003. And again! COLE March 25, 2003! Bohemoth watches as Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets up. Bo cracks a little smile as he sees PRL wallow in misery. Once Puerto is on his feet, Bo grabs him by his hair, charges forward, and then throws PRL OVER the top rope and onto the floor, with PRL nearly hitting the steel mesh on the way down! COLE Oh my! PRL went FLYING right there! He is at the mercy of Bohemoth right now! The camera cuts to the lockerroom where the people at the party all have smiles on their faces watching PRL lie on the protective mats. PRL is breathing heavily now. He barely manages to sit up, so that he can spit out some blood left over from his missing teeth. Bohemoth sneers at PRL. "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" COACH These fans are SICK! SICK! SICK! COLE They've been waiting for a match like this for a LONG time! Let them enjoy it! COACH Absolutely not! PRL slowly gets up. He pushes himself onto his knees, and then uses the steel mesh to pull himself up--Bohemoth gets out of the ring and grabs PRL! COLE That was a really nasty fall by the way! Bohemoth just threw him over the top! That's it! No protection! He just threw him like he was yesterday's newspaper! Bohemoth grabs P.R.'s throat with his bare hands and then lifts him up in the air! Bohemoth gives PRL a double chokehold to the crowd's delight! HOWEVER, since they're near the steel mesh, PRL pokes Bohemoth's eyes, escaping the chokehold, and then climbs the Cell! COACH Look at this! There you go! That's my boy! COLE PRL desperately trying to escape by any means necessary! COACH Who cares about winning? Your life is on the line here! Get away! Get away! PRL continues climbing the Hell In A Cell, but Bohemoth doesn't let that worry him. Instead, he simply grabs P.R. by his tights and pulls him down onto the floor--NO! P.R. holds onto the Cell! Bohemoth tries to pull PR down again! PR still holds on! Bohemoth tries once again, and this time PRL is pulled off the Cell onto the protective mats! PRL lies stomach first on the floor. COLE So much for that. COACH Ugh! Come on PRL! Come on! I'm rooting for you to make it out alive buddy! COLE I'm sure that's comforting him. COACH Of course it would. Everybody likes me! I'm Da Coach! The OAOAST Starbucks Double Shot Expresso Instant Replay shows Bohemoth throwing Tha Puerto Rican over the top rope and onto the floor. COLE Watch this. A BRUTAL fall from Tha Puerto Rican! Bohemoth just threw him without a care in the world! It was amazing! COACH This match is already brutal to watch and we're not even 5 minutes in! I shudder to think what's going to happen the longer this match goes! COLE It can go as long as it wants. Bohemoth is going to take his sweet time dishing out the punishment he feels PRL deserves for four years of bad behavior here in the OAOAST! COACH This isn't right! This isn't right at all! COLE It's right in the eyes of Bohemoth. Will you tell him differently? COACH ...No. Bohemoth picks P.R.L. up and says something to him with fire in his eyes. "The Metrosexual Monster" whips The P.R. Menace into the steel mesh! P.R. hits the steel mesh left shoulder first, then bounces back out onto the floor, where he gets a MURDERLINE~! from Bohemoth! COLE Oh my! A lariat on the floor! Bohemoth is taking Tha Puerto Rican apart piece by piece! COACH He's in no hurry and that's so so sad to know! COLE I think he's starting to like this! Bohemoth lets PR get to his knees before picking him up once again. PIMPHEMOTH~! then whips Puerto Rican into the steel mesh again! He then follows with another MURDERLINE~! COLE Two in a row! Two in a row from Bohemoth! COACH I sure hope Lindsay isn't watching this match now! The Corporate Champion's eyes are glazed over. He's mumbling incoherently as he sits up. P.R. grabs the steel mesh and mumbles incoherently at the fans, not even having the energy to taunt the fans like he usually does! Bohemoth slowly walks over and grabs Tha Puerto Rican by the roof of his mouth and lifts him up! COACH Oh come on! Hasn't he done enough damage to Tha Puerto Rican's mouth already!? Bo grabs PRL and slams his head on the ring apron! PRL slumps to his knees! Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his hair again. PRL's mouth is wide open, so the camera gets a good shot of the space where his two front teeth used to be. Bo drags Tha Puerto Rican over to a corner of the Cell, and then places him in between his legs. The crowd cheers. Bohemoth looks at the fans, and then lifts PRL up in the air-- ---PRL holds onto the Cell and starts punching away at Bohemoth while hanging around his neck! COLE PRL is fighting back! He's fighting back again! COACH Look at PRL use the Cell to his advantage! That takes brains, Cole! Something Bohemoth obviously doesn't have! PRL fires away with right fists, most likely using his missing teeth as motivation to attack. But Bohemoth's strength plays a factor here as the punches don't affect him like they would someone of PRL's size. So, Bohemoth shakes off the numerous punches, grabs PRL by his tights in a powerbomb position, and then SLAMS PRL's back right into the steel mesh! And again! Bohemoth lets go, and PRL drops to the floor! COLE And so much for that. PRL lies on the protective mats on his stomach, his eyes closed, breathing heavily while the crowd cheers. COACH What a sad sad shot that is! COLE Maybe to you. But these people in the Toyota Center are liking it! COACH What a sad sad people they are! COLE Oh come on! Bohemoth slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying just as he's starting to get up. THA PUERTO RICAN Is there a doctor in the houseth? Is there a doctor in the houseth? Bohemoth picks the groggy PRL up. Some blood spills out of P.R.'s mouth. Bohemoth slams Tha Puerto Rican's head on a top ring step! Bohemoth then sets PRL up against the ring apron, measures him up, and punches him in the face! COLE March 26, 2003. And again! COLE March 27, 2003. And again! COLE March 28, 2003. And again! COLE March 29, 2003. March 30, 2003. March 31, 2003. April 1, 2003. April 2, 2003. April 3, 2003. April 4, 2003. April 5, 2003. April 6, 2003. Bohemoth is doing good on his promise thus far! Bo throws Tha Puerto Rican into the steel mesh! COLE April 7, 2003. April 8, 2003. April 9, 2003. April 10, 2003. April 11, 2003. April 12, 2003. April 13, 2003. April 14, 2003. PRL is about to collapse onto the ground, but Bohemoth holds him up, then lifts him up in a bearhug position. Bo walks over to another corner of the Cell and then charges forward, hitting PRL back-first into a ring post! He then follows that up by slamming PRL's back into the steel mesh! Then back to the ring post! Then back to the steel mesh! These are the following sounds PRL makes: "OOH!" "AAH!" "OOF!" "AAAH!" "OH!" "AH!" "OOF!" "OOF!" "OH GOD!" "AAAH!" "AAAAAH!" "OOF!" "AH!" THA PUERTO RICAN GOD HELP ME! Bohemoth lets go of PRL, and The Corporate Champ collapses onto the floor! The crowd cheers loudly! COLE This match has been almost all Bohemoth since the bell rang! Bohemoth is beating Tha Puerto Rican up pillar to post and PRL seems powerless to stop it! COACH He's not using much wrestling moves. He's just BEATING him. Like this is a bar fight or something! COLE Bohemoth is certainly going all out here. He's not trying to win a wrestling match. He wants to HURT Tha Puerto Rican! And that's exactly what he's doing right now! COACH Can't he show him a *little* mercy? COLE Did PRL show mercy to anyone he ever hurt? COACH Well--uh--- COLE Well there you go. Tha Puerto Rican starts speaking incoherently again. PRL gets on his knees. There, Bohemoth picks him up. COACH Not again! Bohemoth scoops PRL up, in a running powerslam position. He then adjusts it a little so that PRL is a human javelin! COACH Not your head! Not your head! Bohemoth takes a few steps back with PRL hanging over his right shoulder. He then charges forward--NO!--PRL slips out and shoves Bohemoth right into the steel mesh! COACH Yes! COLE P.R. with a counter, showing some life again! THA PUERTO RICAN HA HA! Bohemoth gives PRL a MURDERLINE~! knocking him down to the ground! CROWD HA HA! COLE And down goes Tha Puerto Rican! Again. PRL spits out some more blood on the floor. THA PUERTO RICAN I...can't...breathe! I...can't...breathe! Bohemoth picks PR up by his hair. COLE PRL was going to be rammed head-first into the steel mesh, dropped off by Bohemoth, but he escaped, but Bohemoth mowed him down anyhow! COACH He can't seem to keep the advantage for long! Bohemoth slams PRL's head on the top ring step again! Bo grabs PRL, who is COMPLETELY out of it, and punches him in the face! COLE April 15, 2003. COACH If you count the dates one more time, I'm going to scream! PRL falls to the floor. Bohemoth chokes P.R. with his right foot again! COLE Bohemoth once again using an illegal move, but he can in this match! COACH He's choking the life out of him, literally! Why doesn't anybody stop him!? COLE Why don't you!? COACH I've got a job to do! I'm a broadcast journalist! PRL tries to stop the choking, but Bohemoth eventually stops on his own. COLE Well, they call this match Hell In A Cell, and I would suggest that Tha Puerto Rican feels like he is living in hell right now! COACH I guess it's a little too late to expect any compassion whatsoever from Bohemoth. How much longer will this continue!? PRL uses the steel mesh to pull himself up. Bohemoth picks him up anyway. The 6'7" 284 pound big man grabs P.R. by his left hand, and then whips into the steel mesh--PRL reverses--Bohemoth reverses--PRL leaps onto the steel mesh like a Spider-Man! COACH Whoa! He then leaps off with a crossbody block that knocks Bohemoth down! COACH Beautiful! Beautiful! COLE P.R.L. with an impressive offensive manuever! COACH Keep it up! Keep it up! PRL gets right back up and starts hitting Bohemoth with his shaky leg kicks! He then gets down on his hands and knees and starts punching Bohemoth in the face! COACH There's one for January 17, 2006! And there's one for February 24, 2005! And there's one for March 17, 2004! And there's one for April 16, 2007! And there's one for July 8, 2019! And there's one for August 10, 1996! And there's one for-- COLE Coach, what are you doing!? Bohemoth hasn't been in the OAOAST for that long, and besides that, you're getting the dates all mixed up! COACH Who cares? PRL is beating Bohemoth and that's all that matters! The crowd boos LOUDLY as Puerto Rican continues beating up Bohemoth! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COACH He does not suck! Look at him now! LOOK AT HIM NOW! The punches managed to keep Bohemoth down on the floor. PRL sneers at the crowd. He then slowly gets up, cracks a smile at Bohemoth's current position, and then rolls back into the ring. COACH You've got the advantage now, Puerto! Keep it up! Keep it up! COLE Tha Puerto Rican's gotta distance himself for his own good. He needs some oxygen! He needs to put himself back together before he can continue! PRL laughs a little, but then coughs and spits out some blood. He checks the holes in his mouth now and whimpers over the loss of his two front teeth. PRL then simply falls to the mat and tries his best to recover as much as he can while Bohemoth struggles to get up. COLE PRL's gotta use his speed if he wants to win and keep his Golden Contract. He's gotta stay on top of Bohemoth! His speed and his agility are his keys to victory! COACH Damn straight. PRL spits out some more blood, wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and then slowly gets back to a vertical base. At the same time, Bohemoth is back on *his* feet and using the ropes to pull himself back into the ring. PRL gets to his feet, and Bohemoth gets on the ring apron at the same time, so PRL punches Bohemoth in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! COACH January 18, 2086. February 12, 1904. March 16, 3010. June 21, 1867. PRL punches Bohemoth for a fifth tim-- BOHEMOTH GRABS PRL AND GIVES HIM A STUNNER FROM THE OUTSIDE! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" P.R. shoots up and then quickly falls back down onto the mat! He rolls halfway across the ring. Bohemoth gets to his feet on the outside and catches his breath. COLE PRL has been slingshotted halfway across the ring! COACH Oh man! He's going to die. He's really going to die! COLE He certainly looks like he's been in a car accident, that's for sure. PR and Bohemoth both cough and catch their breath; PRL struggling while lying on the mat, Bohemoth on the outside holding the Cell. PRL then has a sneer etched on his face when he sees Bohemoth on the outside. He slowly gets up, using the ring ropes to pull himself up to a vertical base. The sneer is still on his face as he gets to his feet. Bohemoth is on the ring apron about to enter the ring...when Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, shoulderblocking Bohemoth right into the Cell! COACH Yes! Bohemoth falls to the floor! The crowd boos as PRL walks with a swagger in the ring! COACH He knocked Bohemoth clear from the ring right into the side of the Cell! COLE PRL back on his feet once again! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of this match-up! PRL laughs a little as he watches Bohemoth slowly get up. PR rests on the ropes while Bohemoth uses the steel mesh to get to his feet. The sweat is already perspiring out of the big man. PRL rushes into the ropes, charges forward, and then leaps into Bohemoth with a TOPE SUICIDA which sends Bohemoth crashing into the steel mesh again! COLE PRL using his body as a torpedo! COACH He's using his speed and agility to win, just like you said! Bohemoth lies on the floor. PRL uses the Cell to pull himself up again. He then climbs the Cell so that he is a good 6 or 7 feet above Bohemoth, and then leaps off, dropping his left elbow right onto Bohemoth's chest! COLE That was like a Corporate Elbow Drop right there! COACH It sure was! Innovative offense from Tha Puerto Rican tonight at School's Out! PRL gets up, and spits at a fan who was taunting him! P.R. then gets onto the ring apron and walks to a ring post. COLE What's he gonna do now? Bohemoth is down on the ground! PRL rushes forward, jumping off the ring apron, doing a SHOOTING STAR PRESS~! right onto Bohemoth! COLE OH MY~! Tha Puerto Rican astounding us all! A Shooting Star Press from the ring apron! When has he ever done THAT before!? COACH There's a first time for everything, Cole! And what better time than now to try something new? PRL sits up, a sneer on his face again. He taunts the fans, and then spits out some more blood, before getting up. COACH He's pulling out all the stops! He's sacrificing his own body to keep the advantage on Bohemoth! As long as PRL controls Bohemoth and not the other way around, he'll be fine!

Part 2! The OAOAST Starbucks Doubleshot Expresso Instant Replay shows Bohemoth giving Tha Puerto Rican a Stunner from the ring apron. While in real time, PRL is up and slowly walking over to some ring steps. COLE Bohemoth turned things around by hitting PRL with a Stunner from the outside. An impressive move from the big man! But what's PRL going to do? COACH What's PR going to do, you ask? Why, take off the top ring steps and use them as a weapon of course! And indeed, that's what PR does, removing the top two ring steps from their base, and then lifting them up over his head, before bringing them down onto Bohemoth's back! COLE Oh no! COACH Hey, his career is on the line here! You'd do the same thing if you were Tha Puerto Rican! COLE But I'm not Tha Puerto Rican, and I'd never want to be! COACH Not even if you could have sex with Lindsay Gonzalez? COLE ESPECIALLY because of that! PR bashes the ring steps into Bohemoth's back again! The crowd boos! COLE PRL smashing those ring steps right into the spine of "The Metrosexual Monster"! Bohemoth lies on the floor breathing heavily. TPR looks very ANGRY as he holds the ring steps over Bohemoth's body. The crowd boos loudly. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" THA PUERTO RICAN Your ass is mine, fool. PRL watches as Bohemoth turns over onto his stomach. He then pushes himself up onto his hands and knees. *BAM!* PRL hits Bohemoth with the ring steps for a third time! COACH 1! 2! 3! He got him good! PRL throws the ring steps aside. He does the "You can't see me!" hand gesture just to be an ass. COLE Those steps weigh AT LEAST 150 lbs.! PRL stops to catch his breath, and then climbs the bottom ring steps. He taunts the fans, and then grabs Bohemoth who was crawling on the floor. COLE PRL with the advantage now! He has Bohemoth right where he wants him! COACH He's going for the kill! I can feel it! I know he is! PRL places Bohemoth in between his legs. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of P.R.'s next move. P.R. grabs Bohemoth and tries to lift him up! P.R., using the bottom ring steps as a way to make himself the same height as Bohemoth, tries to lift Bohemoth up again. He gets Bohemoth off his feet, but fails to follow through. COACH Is he gonna do it? Is he actually going to do it? COLE He's going for a Piledriver, but can't seem to get it! PR tries a third time. He manages to *almost* get Bohemoth in position to finish the Piledriver, but then Bohemoth gets back to his feet. PR then tries for the fourth time and *this* time he gets Bohemoth up in the air all the way so that he can drill him into the bottom ring steps with a Piledriver! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH He did it! He actually did it! Woo-hoo! COLE I can't believe my eyes! Bohemoth has just been given a Piledriver by Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican, the 5'9" 220 pound Puerto Rican lifted up and gave the 6'7" 284 pound Bohemoth a Piledriver! What a scene we just saw! COACH The tide is shifting, Mikey! Soon, people will remember School's Out 2007 as the day Tha Puerto Rican took down "The Metrosexual Monster" once and for all! PRL rests on the bottom ring steps, using most, if not all the energy he had left to Piledrive Bohemoth. Bohemoth lies on the floor, breathing heavily and holding his head in pain. COLE Did you hear Bohemoth's skull hit those steps? PRL tells a cameraman to move out of the way, or in his own words, "Get the fuck outta my way, dorkface!" PRL stands up, getting a second wind now. Bohemoth is still on the ground, but PRL is on the ring apron. So, PRL jumps off the ring apron and stomps on Bohemoth's body! COACH Just like Bohemoth stomped PRL's teeth earlier! COLE I don't think you can compare the two. I mean, the guy lost TEETH! PRL is still lisping while he trash talks thanks to the two missing front teeth. He spits some blood at Bohemoth! PR laughs manically while the referee tries to retain *some* law and order in this match. Bohemoth is still lying on the protective mats. COACH This is turning into a little preview of Hell for Bohemoth! COLE You're right! Bohemoth is in a bad way here! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" TPR rolls back into the ring. He gets up and rests on the ring ropes. His hair is matted now. He clutches his back for a few seconds and then climbs the top rope. COLE Oh no. Now what? COACH Something good, I bet! PRL is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. He watches as Bohemoth uses the steel mesh to pull himself up. PRL taunts Bo, and then rolls his eyes when Bo takes a little while to get up. Finally, Bohemoth gets to his left knee. He then slowly gets to a vertical base. At that point, PRL jumps off the top rope and nails Bohemoth with a double axehandle! COLE The Corporate Axe from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL using the ropes for more momentum, knocking Bohemoth back down! COACH You know all the mind games. The caskets, the body bags, the bloodied T-shirts, the tombstones. It's all coming back to bite Bohemoth in the ass! He said that karma was gonna get PRL? Well, karma is really going to get Bohemoth, and it's getting him right now, tonight here at School's Out! And I love it! I freaking love it! COLE Bohemoth is down, and one things for sure: when Bohemoth is down he can't give you the Erotic Awakening Of B! COACH Exactly. P.R. sneers at Bohemoth, and then rolls back into the ring. He gets up and spits some more blood out of his mouth. PRL taunts some fans at ringside, calling them pieces of trailer park trash. COLE P.R. back in the ring. We talk about the resilience that Tha Puerto Rican has. That's been put to the test, and he's passed that test! Bohemoth is up and he's rolling into the ring. PRL stops him by kicking him in the face repeatedly! The former OAOAST X-Division Champion grabs the man who he feels is responsible for him losing the Title and positions him in the ropes. PRL measures Bo up...and then hits him with a Rock-style punch to the temple! He does it again! And again! And again! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! PUNCH! Bohemoth falls down to the mat! COACH August 26, 1993. October 31, 2034. November 23, 1654. December 25, 1492. May 5, 1988. June 15, 2004. July 12, 6567. Smarch 13, 1313! COLE That's not even a month! COACH Yes it is! Don't you hate that lousy Smarch weather? COLE Oy. PRL taunts Bohemoth some more, and then exits the ring. He looks under the ring apron for something. COLE What's he doing now? What's he looking for? COACH Anything he wants. It's all legal! PRL comes out with...a steel chair. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL throws the steel chair into the ring and follows himself. COLE That's what started it all! That's what started it all in the first place! A steel chair! PRL gets up and grabs the steel chair while the crowd grows antsy. P.R. has a look of disgust on his face as he raises the steel chair over his head and jaw jacks with the fans. Bohemoth starts to get up. COLE Remember this is no disqualification! He can use it! COACH And he better use it often! I want to see blood...on Bohemoth! PRL raises the steel chair over his head. The crowd is trying to warn Bohemoth of what's to come. Bohemoth pushes himself up and is now on his hands and knees. COACH It all makes sense. This all started with a chair, now let's end it with a chair! Bo is on his right knee. He slowly gets up. *WHAM!* PRL HITS BOHEMOTH IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, KNOCKING HIM BACK DOWN! COACH Yes! Yes! All right! Give it to him! Give it to him! The crowd boos. Bohemoth lies flat on his back, his eyes closed. PRL sneers at Bohemoth while still holding the steel chair. COLE PRL has used the steel chair on Bohemoth AGAIN! For the fourth or fifth time, I've lost count! COACH It's all come full circle Michael. What started on April 12, 2007 ends tonight on May 27, 2007. PRL and Bohemoth are about to settle this once and for all and I've got my money on a certain Corporate Champion right about now! COLE Bohemoth is down again as a steel chair has yet to fail Tha Puerto Rican when it comes to dealing with Bohemoth! COACH Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. A LOUD "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up as P.R. paces back and forth. He takes a rest at a turnbuckle corner, staring down Bohemoth. He sees that Bohemoth is not moving, so he sets the chair on the turnbuckles, and then walks on over to where Bohemoth is lying. However, he changes his mind and looks back at the steel chair. CHARLES ROBINSON Come on! He's out! Put it away! Come on! Let's go! Put the chair away! COACH Like he'll listen to you in this type of a match! COLE PRL looking back at that chair. PRL tells Charles Robinson to "Shut your word hole!" He then walks back over to the turnbuckle corner and grabs the steel chair again. CHARLES ROBINSON No! Don't! That's enough! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Keep going! Do it until you can't do it no more! The crowd is growing antsy again. PRL walks on over, but is stopped by Charles Robinson. COACH All the referee can do is ask politely. He cannot take the chair away! He cannot disqualify him! PRL raises the steel chair over his head, and then lunges with it after Charles Robinson. "Lil' Naitch" quickly backs off after that. PRL has an evil grin on his face as he slowly walks over to where Bohemoth is lying, just like Bohemoth walked slowly towards him earlier. COACH Turnabout's fairplay Bohemoth! Bohemoth slowly turns to his side. He then slowly turns to his stomach so that he can push himself onto his knees. COLE Right now, Tha Puerto Rican is the 'Chairman' of the OAOAST! COACH Ooh! Bad pun! COLE Shut up, Coach! COACH No you shut up! COLE No you! COACH You! COLE You! COACH You! COLE You! COACH! You! Cole punches Coach in the face! COLE May 27, 2007! Bohemoth is breathing heavily as he stands on his hands and knees. He then only stands on his left knee. Bohemoth then slowly gets up. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE He's going to level him! COACH Look out! *WHAM!* PRL HITS BOHEMOTH IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR FOR A SECOND TIME~!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! WOO! COACH It takes two to make things all right! COLE Right to the back! And look at PRL! He's smiling! He LIKES this! COACH And why not? Things are going his way, let him celebrate it! The Corporate One smiles evilly while looking at Bohemoth lying on the mat. He spits at him, but this time it's saliva, not blood. Charles Robinson tells PRL to throw the chair away, but P.R. keeps holding onto it. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is really worried now. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly give each other looks of concern. "Shooter" Jay Darring and Lauren Gellar root Bohemoth on. K-NESS screams out, "LET'S GO BOHEMOTH! LET'S GO!" COLE The people at the party are not in a pleasant mood right now! COACH Aw. PR's going to be a party crasher when he comes out of this match alive! HA! HA! COLE A high concussion flow to the spine! PRL throws the steel chair away and then falls to his knees. He crawls over and covers Bohemoth. COLE This could be it? COACH Nobody thought he could do it! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3--BOHEMOTH SHOVES THA PUERTO RICAN OFF OF HIM! COLE No! COACH Crap! Tha Puerto Rican yells at the referee, but Charles Robinson says it was only a two count. Bohemoth slowly starts to get up. COACH I can't believe it! COLE You better believe it! Because it's true! COACH He was SOOOOO close! COLE Indeed he was Coach! But it was not to be! PRL still must fight in this match! Because Bohemoth won't give up! He will not submit! He will not quit yet! PRL is a little lost for a second, wondering what to do next. He decides to simply kick Bohemoth while he's down. PRL then picks "The Metrosexual Monster" up and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner. PRL attacks Bo with Rock-style punches to the temple. COLE PRL is assaulting Bohemoth! Who would have thought that would happen when this match began? COACH PRL. He knew. He knew. PRL keeps on punching Bohemoth. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT! PUNCH! BLOCKED! BOHEMOTH PUNCHES PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bohemoth punches PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bohemoth punches PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bohemoth knocks Tha Puerto Rican down! COLE And Bohemoth is right back in control! Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Bo whips PRL into the ropes. Bo goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes, and hits Bo with a flying forearm! Bo and P.R. both fall to the mat! But 5 seconds later, Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! to loud boos! PRL strikes a cocky pose, further irritating the crowd! COACH Yes! He's still got juice in his system! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is showing his arrogance! In the face of all of this adversity! COACH He's coming back, Mikey! Tha Puerto Rican is on the rebound! PRL sneers before grabbing Bohemoth by the legs, and pulling him into the center of the ring. Since Bohemoth is so damn big, PRL has a little trouble doing so. THA PUERTO RICAN God damn, you're heavy. Afterwards, P.R. exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COACH And look now! He's going to fly! He's actually going to fly! COLE Despite missing teeth, blood coming out of his mouth, and a severe beating at the hands of Bohemoth, The Corporate Champ STILL wants to go to the top rope! I don't know if this is a bright idea. COACH Of course it is! PRL steadies himself on the top turnbuckle. COLE PRL is so cocky. He is so self-assured. COACH You know why? Because he can be! PRL removes his left elbow pad and throws it aside since he's in the Cell and all. He then stands upright on the top rope, stares down at Bohemoth, and then leaps off the top, doing the "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air, and then dropping his left elbow right into Bohemoth's chest! COLE Corporate Elbow Drop! COACH And an excellent one if I do say so myself. PRL gets right back up and sneers at Bohemoth. He then power walks up to Bohemoth...and kicks his right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh no. He's not--he's not going for it is he? COACH This is for everyone who thinks PR dies tonight! The crowd is standing up! Bohemoth's eyes are closed. PRL taunts the fans, and then removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Bohemoth's chest. COLE The thousands in the Toyota Center are standing up! COACH They wanna see it! They wanna see it! PRL does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Bohemoth, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. COACH It's now time for the electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! PRL stops, does some Hulk Hogan poses to mock Bohemoth, and then drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a loud pop from the crowd! COLE IntenseZone Elbow! COACH Yes! Bohemoth is finished! COLE What? COACH You heard me! The crowd is going nuts following the IntenseZone Elbow. PRL rolls through and is on his feet again. COACH Through all the pain, all the beatings, he is still standing and still ALIVE! COLE PRL is growing even MORE cocky by the second...as though that was even possible! P.R. spits some more blood out from where the gap in his teeth are. He continues taunting Bohemoth, who is still on the mat, as he heads to a turnbuckle corner. COLE P.R.'s got momentum now! COACH He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it! PRL points to Bohemoth...and then starts stomping his right foot a la Shawn Michaels. The crowd boos. COACH Oh yeah! Do it baby! Do it! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is 'Tuning up the band'! P.R. continues stomping his foot. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. Bohemoth starts moving his arms. PRL is motioning him to continue. COACH He's in trouble now! Real BIG trouble! COLE PRL is ready to strike. Bohemoth slowly sits up. He gets on his right knee. COACH PRL is about to become The Giant Killer! COLE Not another stolen nickname! PRL COME ON! The crowd is desperately trying to warn Bohemoth of his fate. But Bohemoth is still slowly getting up, so it's not getting through. PRL has an evil smile on his face as he watches Bo stand upright. COLE He's going for it! This could be the end! Tha Puerto Rican charges forward. Bohemoth turns around... *KA-POW~!* And gets hit with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!! COLE The Sweet Chin Music found its mark! Bohemoth is down again! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Go for it, P.R.! Go for yours! COLE Bohemoth is down on the mat! He got hit with the Sweet Chin Music! And usually, the Sweet Chin Music is the set-up for... "THAT'S IT!" COACH YES! COLE He's ready to end the match and retain his Golden Contract! The crowd boos loudly! PRL sneers at the crowd while Bohemoth continues lying on the mat. Puerto gets into his predator position. COACH We saw a Corporate Elbow Drop, an IntenseZone Elbow, a Sweet Chin Music, and now the Corporate Nightmare! That's four great moves in a row! What have done to deserve such a treat? COLE Maybe I kicked a dog in a past life. The boos get louder as Bohemoth starts to move his arms. P.R. motions for the big man to get up. He taunts his opponent as a "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts. COACH There are 16,000-plus ready to bare witness to the final match in Bohemoth's career! Bohemoth moves to the side. He then pushes himself onto his hands and knees, breathing heavily all the while. COLE Bohemoth has been assaulted quite brutally over these past few minutes! And now, PRL is ready for the death blow! Bohemoth is on his left knee. COLE Bohemoth has never gotten the Corporate Nightmare before! COACH Well he's about to! Bohemoth slowly stands up straight. The crowd tries to warn him of what's behind him. COACH If Bohemoth was smart, he'd stay down. COLE Oh come on! He's out of it! He's not going to know! COACH Of course he's not going to know. He has no brain! COLE Oh will you stop? Bohemoth gets to a vertical base. When he does, P.R. nods. Bohemoth turns around-- KICK! WHAM! CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! BOHEMOTH WON'T BUDGE! COLE PRL is having trouble lifting Bohemoth up! PRL tries again! Bohemoth still won't budge! COACH Keep trying P.R.! Use all the strength you've got left! USE IT! USE IT! P.R. tries a third time, and this time he is able to get Bohemoth off his feet. The crowd boos. PR keeps straining and actually gets Bo higher and higher off the ground! COACH Oh my God! Look! He's doing it! He's really doing it! PRL keeps lifting Bo, amazing the crowd, until he's got him in the usual position he has people in for the Corporate Nightmare. He then DRILLS Bohemoth's head right into the mat to finish the move! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH YES! YES! COLE Corporate Nightmare! The Corporate Nightmare has been hit! Bohemoth is DOWN! COACH The match is over! It's all over! The crowd boos. PRL is lying on the mat also, the energy he needed for the Corporate Nightmare taking alot out of him. Both P.R. and Bo are breathing hard. COLE PRL gave Bohemoth the Corporate Nightmare! Bohemoth, the 6'7" 284 pound monster is knocked out! COACH And P.R. did it by himself! Did you see any Lightning Crew members helping him? No! See? He doesn't need their help! COLE I wish he proved that more often! PR gets up. The crowd boos. Puerto clutches his back, and breathes a sigh of relief. He points and laughs manically at Bohemoth's misery. THA PUERTO RICAN There's your hero! There's your monster! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA! BOHEMOTH GETS RIGHT BACK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN *Girlish Scream!* COLE HE GOT UP! HE GOT RIGHT BACK UP! COACH HOW DID HE DO THAT!? The crowd is going nuts! PRL looks like he's just seen a ghost! Bohemoth stares a hole through Tha Puerto Rican, and PRL takes that as a cue to start running away! COLE I think business has just picked up! COACH GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! PRL zooms out of the ring and tries to open the Cell door. However, it is padlocked. Still, PRL keeps trying to pull the Cell door off its hinges as Bohemoth exits the ring and slowly walks over to where PRL is standing! COLE Wait a minute! Wait a minute! He's trying to get away! COACH He can't! The doors locked! COLE Try telling him that! Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his hair! PRL screams! Bohemoth slams Tha Puerto Rican's face on the Cell door! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! COACH What is he doing to PRL's beautiful face!? Big Bo pulls Tha Puerto Rican's legs out from under him, and then positions himself so that his back is to the steel mesh...before slingshotting Tha Puerto Rican right into it! COLE PRL driven right into the Cell! COACH Oh dammit! PRL falls to the floor! A small cut appears above his right eyebrow. Blood starts pouring out as Bohemoth gets up. COLE He's been busted open! Tha Puerto Rican has been busted open! COACH AAH! NO! Bohemoth picks the now-bleeding Puerto Rican up. He punches him right in the face! COLE February 13, 2004! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE March 21, 2005! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE June 16, 2006! COACH What the hell? Those aren't in chronological order! COLE Who cares? I'm enjoying this! COACH You sicko! The man also known as PIMPHEMOTH~! grabs the bleeding PRL and throws him back into the ring. COLE The handsome features of Tha Puerto Rican now being rearranged by Bohemoth! COACH Somebody's gotta stop this, Cole! STOP IT! COLE And Bohemoth is right back in control! Not wise to try and stand and strike with The Metrosexual Monster, especially when you're giving up 50-odd pounds in weight. With PRL staggering aimlessly to his feet, his face now COMPLETELY covered in blood, Bo watches him onto the ropes. And as PRL lounges against those ropes to try and get his head together, Bohemoth almost takes it off with a clothesline! PRL goes tumbling over the top, the apron bumping him into the door of the cell just to compound his misery. COLE PRL didn't manage to put Bohemoth away when he had the chance. That may have been his one and only chance! As Tha Puerto Rican pulls himself up on the outside Bohemoth follows. Retrieving the steel chair used on him just moments ago, Bo realizes how dented it is and throws it aside. Instead he goes further across the outside, picking up the disassembled top half of the steel steps. The crowd buzz as PRL slowly turns around, seeing Bohemoth with the steps in hands and his eyes bulge. Bo holds the steps at waist height, with the actual steps towards him. As he drives forward, that then traps PRL against the back of the steps and causes him to be 'ploughed'... *CRASH!* ...INTO AND ALMOST [i]THROUGH[/i] ONE PANEL OF THE CELL!! COLE Holy Cow! They almost broke the Cell! COACH Nevermind that, they almost broke PRL! A couple of the fixtures pinning the Cell wall in place seem to actually fly off, a couple lying at PRL's feet as he falls against the dented Cell. Bo gets rid of the steps now and with PRL right near the corner of the Cell, he sets him up... and GRINDS the flat of his boot across his face! And again! A third time! COLE Watch out! Taking a full run-up from the opposite side of the ring, as far as the confines of the Cell will allow him, Bo then charges for a fourth and final time AND KICKS PRL'S FACE INTO THE CELL!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE FACEWASH!! As Bo's boot mows through PRL's face it again hits that side of the cage. Blood is now on the sole of Bohemoth's boot. A clear dent has been put in the steel mesh now and as he sees it, Bohemoth quickly drags Tha Puerto Rican away and to his feet. PRL is on wobbly legs as Bohemoth drags him across ringside. But he still has enough where-with-all to get a RAKE OF THE EYES in, stopping The Metrosexual Monster in his tracks. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Bohemoth blinded, the desperate Puerto Rican quickly follows up with a BACKRAKE!! COACH That's it, fight PR, fight! COLE He's fighting like a girl. COACH But he's fighting, that's the main thing! Besides, what's wrong with fighting like a girl? Lindsay is a girl and she's tough as hell! COLE But PRL is a man. PRL checks his face for any lost facial features, as Bohemoth starts to growl. Which alerts PRL that he might be in trouble, so he lands a quick kick to the gut to keep Bo quiet. Another kick finds the mark before The Man With The Golden Contract glances over his shoulder, to the side of the steel he'd just come from. And with a quick grab of the wrist, he looks to Irish whip Bohemoth in... ...REVERSED... [b]*CRAAASH!*[/b] "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND PRL CANNONS INTO THE WALL WITH SUCH FORCE THAT HE ENDS UP EMBEDDED IN IT!!!! COACH :O COLE Oh, MY! With the top half of PRL's body hanging out of the hole created in the Cell and his legs flailing pathetically inside, the broken links of the steel dig into his side, trapped like a small animal in those plastic rings that hold together six-packs. As he screams in pain and flails around though, he somehow manages to escape the 'net', crawling through the gap at the very edge of the Cell and out to the arena floor. COLE Wait a minute... PRL is out of the Cell! COACH Oh, thank God! Obviously the Cell is irreparable, stop the match while we get it fixed, we'll try again in a month or two maybe. Not to be though. As PRL nurses his ribs, Bohemoth marches over to the broken Cell. Referee Charles Robinson tries to tell Bohemoth to keep inside the Cell as the rules would dictate. But, seriously, it wouldn't be Hell In A Cell if the match didn't go [i]OUT[/i] of the Cell, would it? So Bohemoth kicks at the bottom corner of the Cell panel, just below where the hole has been created. He manages to open up the hole a little more. And although it's still a tight, skin scratching squeeze, Bohemoth manages to try and slink through the gap! Freaking out, PRL sees he hasn't really escaped and starts to try and run away. COACH Why the hell is the match still going? COLE *shrugs* PRL isn't getting very far very quickly, Bohemoth stalking after him like something out of a horror movie. With a couple of small puncture wounds around his kidney area, PRL doesn't seem to be moving to the best of his capabilites. And realising running isn't working, he takes the most desperate of all desperate measures in Hell In A Cell. He starts to scale the cage! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no, PRL what are you DOING!? COLE Well, like it or not, as little as this has to do with the rules of Hell In A Cell, this is what people pay their money to see out of Hell In A Cell. This could get very ugly here. COACH No kidding! As PRL begins his climb, Bo stops. He looks up at the Cell. Not fancying his climbing skills that much he tries to stop PRL by shaking the cage. But as PRL transitions to the panel above the one Bo's shaking, that doesn't seem to work too well. Tha Puerto Rican's feet are out of reach now and Bo is left with no choice but to climb after his opponent. "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh boy. Tha Puerto Rican makes the cardinal mistake of looking down and seeing Bo closing in on him, he panics again. Bohemoth reaches up and pulls himself up onto the thicker part of the cage, able to stand on the steel support which is much safer than the mesh surrounding it. Meanwhile, PRL has almost reached the top of the Cell. But by now he's freaking out about how high up he is and he certainly doesn't want to be standing on TOP of the cell! So, he tries to change direction, carefully making his way over to the corner of the Cell. "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" COLE Well, PRL's not very popular, but I don't think we REALLY want to go so far as to see that! COACH Of course now! How can these people even chant that!? As he begins to make his way around the corner of the Cell, PRL finds himself on the same steel support as Bohemoth. Actually cutting the corner to the adjacent side of the cage doesn't prove as easy as PRL expected. And as he tries to shuffle his feet around, Bohemoth manages to club him in the back! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh God! Left standing on one foot only, PRL begins to wobble. He looks over his shoulder, fear-stricken. Another shot his him in the back! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" This time Tha Puerto Rican's chest bounces off the corner of the Cell. And that's solid steel, leaving him even more precarious than he was before. COLE This is not going to end well! Bohemoth slowly steps across, getting close enough to PRL to grab him behind the head. Again PRL's eyes bug out, as Bo pulls his head back... ...AND SLAMS IT INTO THE STEEL BAR!! COACH OH NO... PRL almost falls, but his fingers are still just about laced around the steel mesh. Until Bohemoth carefully turns side on, reaching out... ...PUSHING PRL... [b]*THUD!!*[/b] "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ...AND HE FALLS FROM HALFWAY UP THE CELL, COMPLETELY TAKING OUT THE CORNER SECTION OF THE BARRICADE ON HIS WAY DOWN!!!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The announcers are silent. A solitary airhorn goes off in the background. PRL lays on the thick, curved corner section of the barricade. Blood is still flowing down his face. His arms and legs are splayed out and security guards have converged around him to keep the fans at bay. From high above halfway up the Cell, Bohemoth looks down on what just happens. Cool and calm as ever. Barely a flicker of emotion. COLE My... my God. PRL just fell what had to be 10 feet and he just SNAPPED that section of the barricade completely off it's... I mean, that's solid steel Coach!! There some padding for aesthetics, but that's got to be 5 inch thick metal underneath!! And PRL just fell right onto it!! COACH (sombre) Okay... all bias aside, can we stop the damn match already. PRL still hasn't moved as Bohemoth begins to make his way down from the side of the cell. Referee Charles Robinson has left the Cell now to get out and check on Tha Puerto Rican. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" The crowd chant for The Metrosexual Monster, all but ignoring PRL. Still lying on top of the block of the barricade, PRL looks to be completely motionless and surely unable to continue. Bohemoth lands on solid ground now and takes a moment to sort his own aching body parts out. All of which paling in comparison to PRL's situation. COLE Well, I don't know if PRL's going to be able to carry on here. He could be seriously, seriously injured. COACH It has to be over. It has to be. COLE There was absolutely no give to that barricade. Nothing but steel and PRL not only fell against it, from a... a tremendous height. But, he also landed on it. The only, ONLY thing that broke Tha Puerto Rican's fall was that steel barricade! Bohemoth walks on over and picks PRL up! COACH THIS MATCH IS STILL GOING ON!? COLE Apparently so, Coach! Bo grabs Tha Puerto Rican's head with both hands, and then simply flings PR right into the announce table! COLE Whoa! Cole and Coach stand up and get out of the way! PRL rolls off the announce table into the sofas! P.R. gets on his knees, having no idea where he is. His hair is now red and black. Puerto rolls back onto the announce table trembling in fear. He finally stands up, but when he does, Bohemoth grabs him and lifts him up into a Gorilla Press Slam position! Bo holds P.R. up in the air for a few seconds, and then throws him THROUGH the announce table! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" P.R. now lies in the wreckage of the announce table with the crowd cheering! Bohemoth takes a minute to rest. PRL starts crawling around the wreckage, speaking incoherently. Blood now covers PRL's entire face! Seriously, there isn't anything but red on his face all the way to his ears! Coach yells for somebody to stop the match, but obviously no one is going to listen to him. Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" Bo drags Tha Puerto Rican around ringside back inside the Cell. As he does this, the Starbucks Double Shot Instant Replay shows the shot of PRL falling through the barricade from three different angles. Ted DiBiase and Terry Funk come out to make sure PRL and Bohemoth go back into the Cell. Once they're inside the Cell, the door is padlocked *twice*. Bohemoth throws PRL back into the ring, and this time the crowd explodes. COLE PRL's walking back into Purgatory! PRL's gonna walk through Hell, maybe for the last time! The camera does a close-up of PRL's very bloodied face. PRL is still spitting out blood. His eyes are also glazed over. Blood drips onto the mat. Bohemoth slowly walks back into the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN I...I don't...I don't deserve this! I don't deserve this! I...don't...deserve...this! The camera shows Charles Robinson and Ted DiBiase finishing locking the Cell door. The camera cuts to the ring where Bohemoth gives PRL a MURDERLINE~! COLE LARIA-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Bohemoth watches as PRL lies on the mat, struggling to get up. He starts moving his arms and barely sits up. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay...okay. I deserve this! I deserve this! I deserve all of this! COLE I don't think it is a matter of 'if' but 'when' now! We are seeing the end of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican's career right before our very eyes! COACH You're right! You're not *maybe* right! YOU ARE RIGHT! This is it! This is the end! We are witnessing the disinegration of Tha Puerto Rican's career tonight at School's Out! Cut to the party backstage where everyone is gathered around the TV smiling brightly. COLE There are plenty of people who are enjoying this moment right now! Finally, after four years, tonight is *their* night! COACH Oh God! Everything you're saying is true! I HATE THAT! Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL's mouth is wide open. Bo whips "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes. SPINEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUSSSSTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! COLE Spinebuster! Bohemoth with his signature Spinebuster, and Tha Puerto Rican's head bounced off the mat! COACH Oh My God, he's dead! PRL lies down on the mat. Bohemoth takes a little longer than usual to get up. But when he does, he exits the ring. PRL sits up, and bleeds some more blood onto the mat! COLE This is PRL and Bohemoth's first Hell In A Cell, and I'm damn sure neither one will EVER forget this experience! COACH This IS Hell! COLE And Bohemoth, and what is he doing? Going to the outside. Bohemoth looks underneath the ring apron for something. He comes out with...another steel chair! COLE Oh no. Oh no. Bohemoth has a chair. Bohemoth now has his own chair. COACH Hasn't PR suffered ENOUGH!? The crowd cheers loudly as Bohemoth walks up the ring steps with the steel chair in his right hand. COLE We may see some poetic justice! COACH JUSTICE!? THERE IS NO JUSTICE HERE! The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is on the edge of their seats. Bohemoth enters the ring. Charles Robinson tries to warn him not to use the chair, but Bo isn't paying attention at all, instead staring at Tha Puerto Rican. P.R. is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. COACH GET OUT OF THE WAY, P.R.! GET OUT OF THE WAY! PRL's face, hair, neck and chest are covered in blood. He uses the first and second ring ropes to get to his right knee. He then uses the top ring rope to pull himself to a vertical base. Bohemoth just stands there watching. COLE Will Bohemoth strike? Will he get some payback for all those chairshots over the past two months? PRL's legs are wobbly, but he is up. COACH LOOK OUT! PRL turns around... *WHAM!* AND BOHEMOTH SLAMS THE STEEL CHAIR OVER THE TOP OF THA PUERTO RICAN'S HEAD~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 The impact of the chairshot is so powerful that the steel chair is now hanging around PRL's neck! COLE JESUS! COACH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! PRL falls to the mat, unconscious! COLE PAYBACK'S ARE A BITCH! COACH Michael! The people backstage are celebrating! Bohemoth fires the crowd up some more! He lets out a mighty yell and then shakes the top ring rope. THUMBS UP... THUMBS DOWN~! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE It's over! It's all over! Bohemoth is going to win the Golden Contract! COACH And Tha Puerto Rican's career is finished! COLE This is what the fans wanted to see! And now they're going to get it! It's all over! The crowd is whipped into a frenzy! Bohemoth picks "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up. He removes the steel chair from around his neck and tosses it out of the ring. Bohemoth then hooks Tha Puerto Rican up, causing the crowd to cheer. COLE He's going for The Erotic Awakening Of B! The crowd is at a fever pitch when Bohemoth lifts Tha Puerto Rican up--- SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!!!!! COLE What!? What the? COACH AAH! Mikey, I'm scared! COLE Pipe down, Coach! The crowd is as confused as the announcers as to why the lights have suddenly gone out. There is total darkness for seconds on end which seem like hours to the people in the arena. COLE The lights went out. Either someone forgot to pay the electrical bill, or something fishy is going on in the ring! COACH I select B for $400, Michael. The crowd only sees black in front of them for a few seconds more, before the lights go back on in the arena to reveal Bohemoth getting beat up by... CABOOSE!?!?!?!?!? COLE WHAT!? COACH YO~! COLE Caboose--what--what the---WHAT THE HELL!? COACH I'm liking this! Caboose keeps punching Bohemoth, almost knocking the big man down! The crowd is stunned at what they are seeing as the fan favorite continues punching the other fan favorite while PRL remains knocked out on the mat. Caboose punches Bohemoth. He then punches him a second time. Then he does the SHANE-O-MAC SHUFFLE, and punches Bohemoth for the third time, and it now becomes clear to the audience what's going on. COLE Hey! Wait a minute! "Caboose" punches Bohemoth, bringing him down to his right knee. He then takes off his hair, to reveal that it's a wig, to reveal that it's really VITAMIN X underneath the face paint! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X is back! COACH YES! The X-Man is back in the OAOAST! COLE We haven't seen him since OAOAST Syndicated last month! And frankly, I was starting to get used to him not being here! COACH I wasn't! We needed our Prince back! Prince Vitamin takes a royal bow for the fans. They boo. He laughs manically, thinking he has Bohemoth right where he wants him. UNTIL Bohemoth charges at him with a MURDERLINE~! COLE YES! GET HIM! GET HIM! GET HIM! Bohemoth stomps the crap out of Vitamin X! X immediately begs for mercy, but no mercy is the theme of the night! Bohemoth picks X up and whips him into the ropes. He then follows that up with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop, that sends Vitamin X's feet hitting the roof of the Cell! COACH WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! The crowd is going wild again! Bohemoth screams for Vitamin X to fight some more. X holds his back in pain. While he does this, Cuban Wall enters the ring! COLE The 24/7 Champion is here! Mr. Boricua enters the ring soon after! And so does The Bone Thug! Together, the two Lightning Crew members beat on Bohemoth in the ropes to boos! And PRL is STILL knocked out! COLE And The Lightning Crew doing what they do best! And that's dominate using 2-on-1 or more tactics! COACH This is what made The Lightning Crew the most feared stable in wrestling! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug continue beating on Bohemoth...until Bohemoth finds the strength within to push Bone Thug off of him, and beat on Mr. Boricua and Wall! Bohemoth head butts The Bone Thug, knocking him down! Bo knocks Wall a little off his feet with a punch! He then starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face again and again and again! Boricua is dazed and confused, but he doesn't fall! Bo hooks Mr. Boricua up! COLE Can he hit it? Vitamin X hits Bohemoth in the back with the cricket bat! Bohemoth lets go of Mr. Boricua! VX hits Bohemoth in the back with the cricket bat again! COLE That damn Vitamin X! He's using that cricket bat as a weapon! COACH Oh like when Caboose did it a thousand times it was a good thing! VX nails Bo with the cricket bat one more time! Cuban Wall starts beating on Bohemoth again. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug join in. COLE We've got a 4-on-1 beatdown going on now! Damnit! Damnit! The booing continues! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and The Bone Thug team up on Bohemoth, bringing him down to the mat! PRL is still knocked out. Wall and Boricua clutch Bohemoth's throat! COLE Oh no! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall lift Bohemoth off the mat! And then slam him down! COLE A double chokeslam! A double chokeslam! Bohemoth is down! And the leader of The Lightning Crew is STILL down! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pose. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, yells, and cracks his knuckles. The Bone Thug yells out, "ARRIBA LA RAZA~!" COLE The Lightning Crew has attacked once again! Bohemoth is out cold! COACH Yes! Excellent work by The Lightning Crew! Great teamwork gentlemen! Vitamin X tells The Lightning Crew to pick Bohemoth up. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua do so, sitting Bohemoth down on the mat. COLE Now what? VX grabs the cricket bat and points it at Bo. COACH Uh-oh! Bohemoth is in trouble now! HA HA HA HA HA! COLE Oh no. This isn't going to end well. This will not end well! Vitamin X takes a few practice swings, and then gets into position. He rushes forward... AND CRACKS THE CRICKET BAT ACROSS BOHEMOTH'S HEAD~!!!!! COLE Oh my! The cricket bat has been broken in half! COACH I am loving this! I am SO loving this! COLE Bohemoth has been attacked! And now, he is busted open too! Indeed, Bohemoth has a cut on his forehead. Blood starts coming down his face. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall drop Bohemoth to the mat. Cuban Wall then adds insult to injury by bouncing off the ropes, jumping up, and coming down with The Lightning Crew Splash on Bohemoth! COACH THAT'S for breaking PRL's teeth earlier! COLE Bohemoth has been assaulted by The Lightning Crew! COACH Just another victim in the long LONG LONG list of them! NOBODY CAN STOP THEM! NOT EVEN BOHEMOTH! Cuban Wall gets up and taunts Bohemoth. He grins evilly. The crowd is beyond PISSED right now. Vitamin X laughs at what has happened. Mr. Boricua grunts. The Bone Thug just stares at Bohemoth. Bohemoth is lying flat on his back on the mat with blood pouring down his face. PRL is also still knocked out. COLE The Lightning Crew has struck again! They have demolished Bohemoth! COACH Yes! That's what The Lightning Crew is all about! Surprising people! They've done it again tonight! That's why I love those guys so much! Wall, Boricua, Bone Thug, and Prince Vitamin leave the ring. Cuban Wall tells Charles Robinson, "It's all yours!" Vitamin X and The Bone Thug leave through the hole in the Cell. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua rips the Cell door off its hinges and throws it aside, so that Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua can leave the Cell that way. COLE This is shocking! COACH This is The Lightning Crew at their best! Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and The Bone Thug walk back to the entrance. VX raises the two pieces of the cricket bat over his head to boos. He laughs manically. COLE Vitamin X disguised himself as Caboose! He appeared when the lights went out somehow, and attacked Bohemoth! And then the rest of The Lightning Crew came out and did their usual crap! I don't believe it! And listen to this response! COACH And we've STILL got a match, Cole! COLE That's right! The match is still going on, but both men are busted open and out! So what's going to happen now? PRL gets out of the puddle of his own blood and crawls on over to where Bohemoth is lying. COACH Look! Look! Look! COLE That little weasel! The booing gets louder the closer PRL gets to Bohemoth. Eventually, PR summons the strength to put his left arm over Bohemoth's chest. COLE He should be dead by now! Instead he's doing this! COACH This ain't P.R.'s Last Stand! This is Bohemoth's Last Stand! PRL has Bohemoth covered. COLE I bet he has no idea what just happened! COACH Who cares! Here and now is what matters! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is lying on his stomach, breathing heavily, still bleeding from head to toe. The only way he can say he is covering Bohemoth is because he has his left arm over Bohemoth's chest. Bohemoth also is bleeding and is knocked out. At this, referee Charles Robinson begins his count. 1... COACH There's 1! 2... COACH 2! 2 1/2 COLE Stop this! Oh no! Come on! Come on! No! 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 COLE Not this way! No! No! No! No! NO! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (35:15) COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! COLE .......... CROWD ............. EVERYONE BACKSTAGE AT THE PARTY ...................................................................... "Know Your Role '99" starts playing. P.R. is still covering Bohemoth. The crowd is shocked at first, but their shock turns to boos rather quickly. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL The Man With The Golden Contract..."The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! A puddle of blood now forms on the spot where PRL's head lies on the mat. COACH He did it! He finally did it! He proved you wrong! He proved ALL OF YOU wrong! Tha Puerto Rican WILL NOT DIE! The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is sitting in stunned silence. "Shooter" Jay Darring and Lauren Gellar are crushed. The Mad Cappa can't believe it. K-NESS is freaking out. D*LUX just shake their heads in disappointment. Colombian Heat says, "That is whack!" Spanish Fly is pissed. John "Rock Hard" Brickston is trying to hold back his rage. Otaku II and Ayane Mitsui both let out a deep sigh. COLE The disappointment is obvious on everyone's faces! We all thought we would see the final match in Tha Puerto Rican's career tonight-- COACH Not me! COLE --But instead, Tha Puerto Rican, somehow, someway survived, and he is STILL The Man With The Golden Contract! COACH Doesn't this prove once and for all that Tha Puerto Rican is the greatest wrestler in the OAOAST today? COLE I dunno. He did need some help. COACH *Some* help. This is true. But HE is the one who got the pinfall! And that's all that counts! Cuban Wall, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick enter the Cell. Popick is the first one to greet Tha Puerto Rican, pulling him off of Bohemoth. POPICK P.R.! P.R.! Speak to me! THA PUERTO RICAN Am...I...dead? POPICK No, you survived! THA PUERTO RICAN ...Hoo...ray. Popick pulls PRL up to his feet which is when Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez wraps her arms around him. She kisses his blood soaked face, not caring at all that she's now got blood on her pouty lips. She keeps kissing him until Cuban Wall interrupts and gives PR a high five, telling him, "You did good, boss." PRL is barely conscious. He just nods his head weakly and mumbles incoherently. Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez carry PRL out of the ring as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. COLE I'm in shock. I don't believe it. Tha Puerto Rican is a bloodied mess! And yet HE is the winner! COACH That means he survived, Cole! That means HE is the MAN! That means that he went to HELL and back! COLE He's being dragged out of the ring! And yet, this man is the holder of the Golden Contract, which means he can cash in on an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship shot whenever he wants anytime he wants! COACH I know! Isn't life grand right about now? PRL is on top of the world! COLE He sure doesn't look like it. COACH Please don't rain on my parade. Let me enjoy this moment, bitch. Cuban Wall holds the ropes so that PRL, Popick, and Lindsay can leave the ring. Wall then hands PR the black spray-painted briefcase with *his* Golden Contract still inside. PRL clutches the briefcase close to his heart as he leaves the Cell. Bohemoth is still knocked out. COLE PRL needed help from FOUR men, but in the end, the record books will say that Tha Puerto Rican, on May 27, 2007 at School's Out, DEFEATED Bohemoth. How about that? Stephen Joseph Popick raises Tha Puerto Rican's right hand in victory. PRL holds his black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract inside with his left hand. Popick laughs manically and screams "YES! YES! YES!" while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez says, "It's okay baby. It's okay! You're going to be all right baby! You're going to be all right!" Cuban Wall taunts some fans at ringside. PRL is completely out of it. Garbage is thrown at PRL. COLE He doesn't know where he is! His body is covered in blood! We cut back to the backstage party where everyone is pissed off beyond belief. COLE We thought tonight, PR would get his. But believe it or not, he will live to fight another day. COACH And that's the important thing. He SURVIVED! PRL is a SURVIVOR! HE SURVIVED THE ONSLAUGHT OF A MONSTER! He deserves all the credit in the world for that! COLE He deserves credit for having 8 people watching his back. But he doesn't really deserve credit for winning tonight. The Cell is now being raised back to the roof of the arena. The crowd boos loudly as PRL, Popick, Lindsay, and Wall walk back up the entrance. They are joined by Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, and Princess Stacey. The Lightning Crew and Popick engage in a group hug at the entrance. COACH What a great night! Tha Puerto Rican has defeated Bohemoth, and Vitamin X has returned! The Lightning Crew is back in full force, baby! COLE The Lightning Crew certainly made their mark tonight! And now, PRL can still say that he has a guaranteed World Title shot at his disposal! COACH How sweet it is! Soda is thrown at PRL's head, barely missing by an inch. Puerto Rican hugs Lindsay, then Popick, then Vitamin X. Popick and Lindsay help PRL raise the black spray-painted briefcase over his head one more time. The crowd boos. COACH That's the money shot right there! There's your proof that PRL is the best thing going in the OAOAST today! THAT'S what I'm talking about! Popick laughs manically. He taunts a fan who threw garbage at him. PRL sneers at the crowd. Lindsay has an evil grin on her face. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick exit through the curtains. COLE Who would have ever thought we would see *this* image tonight? COACH I did. Well, without the blood. COLE Let's go back to moments ago. The OAOAST School's Out logo 2007 flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match starting with Bohemoth about to give PRL the Erotic Awakening Of B. COLE Bohemoth had the match won. He was about to do the Erotic Awakening Of B, when the lights went out, and seconds later, Caboose arrived. Or not. Instead, it was Vitamin X making his return, dressed as Caboose. The Lightning Crew then came out and attacked. Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug. They had Bohemoth cornered, but Bohemoth struck back...until Vitamin X used Caboose's cricket bat to knock out Bohemoth! One shot to the head later, and Bohemoth was busted open. Then Cuban Wall added The Lightning Crew Splash just to add insult to injury. PRL snuck in for the victory, and now he can say that he has defeated Bohemoth! The OAOAST School's Out 2007 logo flashes across the screen. Bohemoth is STILL not getting up. His face is now a crimson mask. Bo moves his arms, but then goes back to being limp. COLE We're back live, and Bohemoth has STILL not gotten up! COACH He got hit with a freaking cricket bat to the head, Cole! That should have knocked him out! COLE It did knock him out! But now he is moving a little. Bohemoth rolls to his side. COACH Awww, the big baby lost. HA HA! COLE Bohemoth had the match won and you know it! COACH But who won it? Tha Puerto Rican! So stop with the 'what ifs', Cole! COLE I can't believe it. Bohemoth has lost to Tha Puerto Rican! He is bleeding. He might have a concussion. This was supposed to be the greatest night of his life, and it's turned to this. COACH This was the greatest night of his life! Now, one day, he can tell his grandkids about the time Tha Puerto Rican laid the smackdown on his candy ass! COLE This was supposed to be the night that Tha Puerto Rican got his...but instead he got one over on us! Bohemoth sits up. He looks completely out of it too. The lights are on, but nobody's home. He starts to get up as "Know Your Role '99" has to be restarted over the PA system. However, he falls back down to the mat. Bo tries to get up again, but this time he can't even sit up. The last image we see is of Bohemoth lying flat on his back, bloodied, his eyes glazed over. The Cell has been lifted to the top of the Toyota Center.

This is all in one post. So place it right before the Hell In A Cell Match, which btw will most likely need two posts. Yeah, it's a long one. The camera cuts back to The Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos. The LC and Stephen Joseph Popick are standing up, anxious. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is in his ring gear and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase which contains his Golden Contract inside. PR paces back and forth. He is already sweating. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN So...you ready? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I'm ready. The question is, PRL, are YOU ready? THA PUERTO RICAN Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I...I'm...I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah. I am! I just--uh--I just hope things go smoothly out there! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ They will, baby. They will. CUBAN WALL Boss, you got this one in the bag! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Wall is right. You're gonna win this match. I believe in you! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRR. THA PUERTO RICAN Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. POPICK You'll be fine, Puerto. You're going to go out there and DESTORY Bohemoth! You're going to aniliahate him. Bohemoth's not going to know what hit him! PRL Okay. Okay. I'm ready. POPICK All right! Let's do it! THA PUERTO RICAN Let's get together one last time, shall we? POPICK Of course! Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, The Bone Thug, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick huddle around each other. They all put their hands out. They all look at each other. POPICK LC on 3. Ready? 1. 2. 3. THE LIGHTNING CREW AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK LC! LC! THA PUERTO RICAN HELP ME GOD! The camera cuts to the party backstage as everyone has gathered around the television set. COLE Well, it's time. It's one of the matches we've been very much anticipating tonight at School's Out! COACH Oh God. Oh God. Oh God in Heaven! This match is actually going to happen! Ominous music plays as the Cell begins lowering from the top of the Toyota Center. The crowd cheers! The lights go down in the arena, with spotlights circling the Hell In A Cell. COLE It is called 'The Devil's Playground', 'Satan's Pool', and 'Beelzebub's Sanctuary'. The Hell In A Cell Match has caused numerous injuries, emotional scars, and careers to end. And now, in only a heartbeat away, Tha Puerto Rican and Bohemoth will step inside this demonic structure for the first time, and quite possibly the LAST time! COACH This is crazy! He doesn't deserve this! The One And Only AngleSault Thread is forcing him to risk life and limb for one match! How dare they? COLE Well, in a way, you could say he brought this onto himself. He has acted obnoxiously to Bohemoth for the past two months, not to mention to pretty much the entire OAOAST roster over the past four years! This is a match that EVERYONE has been dying to see! COACH Don't use 'dying' in a sentence. I'm tensed enough as it is! COLE This match came about because of a tag team match that took place between Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Dance Dance Dragon and Bohemoth on the April 12th HeldDOWN~!. But since then, the feud has become personal between P.R. and Bohemoth, and tonight, they look to settle it once and for all! COACH The marketing wizards in the OAOAST are calling this 'P.R.'s Last Stand'! Oh come on now. That's just biasness! COLE It's quite possible this could be the last time we will ever see him, Coach. I know there are about 11 people backstage hoping that is the case. Not to mention the thousands in attendance here in the Toyota Center! The Hell In A Cell could spell the demise of Tha Puerto Rican! The ominous music continues playing as the Cell lowers to the ground. COACH 16-feet high, 20-feet wide. 1 TON in total weight. Two men will be locked inside. No interference. No countouts. No disqualifications. No rules! Bohemoth and PRL can do whatever they want. This isn't going to be pretty! COLE Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican have been unable to physically touch each other over the past four weeks, but it ends tonight, and I'm sure Bohemoth is really looking to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican again! COACH PRL is being FORCED into this! He does not deserve this! AT ALL! You heard me? AT ALL! COLE Well, look what PRL has done-- COACH Oh come on! He doesn't deserve any of this! COLE That's something we could debate for a long time. But right now, let's take a look at the history between PRL and Bohemoth and what led us to this upcoming match-up. A collage of Tha Puerto Rican coming to the ring over the past four years in the OAOAST is shown. COLE (V.O.) Over the past four years, there has been one man who has arguably been more hated, more despised than any other OAOAST superstar ever. BUFFER "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Cut to a highlight reel of Tha Puerto Rican's numerous actions in the OAOAST. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Elbow Drop. PRL giving someone a Sweet Chin Music. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Nightmare. Numerous Corporate Nightmares are played. Cut to shots of PRL posing for the camera and taunting the fans. COLE This gifted superstar has been loved by some and HATED by many, but has still continued to shine as one of the OAOAST's brightest. Cut to PRL doing the HBK muscle pose while pyro explodes behind him. THA PUERTO RICAN I am the most electrifying man in professional wrestling! I am the Corporate Champ! And I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican hitting Bohemoth with the steel chair on the April 12, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The chairshot is shown in slow motion. Eerie music begins to play. COLE But despite his natural athletic ability, Tha Puerto Rican has for many times in his career in the OAOAST resorted to cheap tactics, backstabbing, and numerous lies. Cut to the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone: [QUOTE]Puerto Rican Lightning poses as the fans are now near a riot. He jumps off the top turnbuckle....and smashes the ringbell onto The Mad Cappa's throat. His throat also hits the barricade and he is now gagging for air. JR: OH MY! WHAT A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MOVE! PRL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF!!! DAMN HIM!!! BAW GAWD~! DAMN HIM!!![/QUOTE] Cut to November Reign 2006 on November 27, 2006. [QUOTE]D*LUX don’t seem to mind that Thomas is the ref, because Shayne Brave still has PRL’s right leg hook when Thomas Rodriguez makes the count. 1..... 2.... 2.... 2..... 2.... 2..... Thomas Rodriguez has yet to make the three count. COLE 3! 3! 3! What the hell? Why did he stop counting!? Shayne is wondering the same exact thing. Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees and looks directly into the eyes of "Showtime" Shayne Brave. And flips him two middle fingers! COACH WHAT!? COLE WHAT!? CROWD WHAT!? Thomas Rodriguez laughs in the face of Shayne Brave. Tyler Bryant wants some answers, but before he can do anything, Cuban Wall grabs Tyler by his feet and drags him out of the ring! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall beat on Tyler Bryant! Thomas continues with his double bird salute, but his smile fades when Shayne gets up. COLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? Shayne stalks Thomas towards a neutral corner. Rodriguez begs for his life, sweating bullets and about to pee in his pants. Brave gets in Thomas’ face, wanting to know what made him think he could do what he just did and get away with it. Just then... *BAM!* PRL uses his left arm to give Shayne Brave a low-blow! COLE Low-blow from Tha Puerto Rican!? But...but...he’s using his cast as a weapon! COACH Hey. This is getting good! Popick nods approvingly as Shayne Brave stumbles around the ring holding his nutsack. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face. And those cheers that PRL used to hear are quickly becoming boos. COLE PRL and Thomas Rodriguez? Are they working together? Is this what I think this is? Tha Puerto Rican kicks Shayne Brave in the stomach. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!?!?!?!? COLE Corporate Nightmare! But isn’t his arm broken!? COACH I think he lied about that part Michael. COLE I think he may have lied about everything! Shayne Brave is knocked out. Stephen Joseph Popick applauds Tha Puerto Rican. PRL laughs manically as Thomas Rodriguez watches all of this with an evil grin on his face. COLE Thomas Rodriguez didn’t count the pin! But last Thursday night, he did a fast count and made Tha Puerto Rican lose to Cuban Wall! COACH Michael, do you realize what this means? COLE No! Damn it! No! COACH Yes, Michael. This was all a set up! And I like it! COLE I thought he had a change of heart! I thought he was a different man! COACH I can’t belive it! What are we seeing? Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have done a good job beating up "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. Vitamin X is up and watching all of this from ringside, absolutely giddy watching all of this. Jade Rodez is also watching this at ringside, although she isn’t exactly happy with what she’s seeing. Stephen Joseph Popick laughs manically as "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican covers "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees, looks at his boss, and makes the count. The crowd starts booing. 1! 2! 3! *DING DING DING* (24:10) COACH NEW CHAMPIONS! CROWD ...........[/QUOTE] Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up several wrestlers including Leon Rodez, Spanish Fly, Colombian Heat, and both members of D*LUX. COLE The cocky arrogant multi-time Champion has showed no mercy to anyone he deems a threat. The charismatic high-flying superstar has laid roughshod over the OAOAST since his arrival, and so far, no one has yet to put a stop to it. [i]PRL Do you hate me? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you despise me? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you wish I would just go away? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you wish I would just die? CROWD YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PRL Well good, because that's EXACTLY the way I feel about all of you![/i] COLE But until recently, someone has stepped up to the plate. His name is Bohemoth. Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair on the April 19, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair several times on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Bohemoth being busted open after the chairshots. The eerie music continues playing. COLE Bohemoth is the biggest challenge Tha Puerto Rican has ever faced. At 6'7" 284 pounds, he is looked to by many as the man who can put an end to the P.R. Menace. Cut to Bohemoth punching his way out of the body bag on the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL screaming like a girl when he sees this. A lightning bolt strikes! CUE OPERA MUSIC~! Cut to a montage of PRL laughing manically, interspersed with clips of a graveyard. Cut to a montage of PRL posing, interspersed with clips of a tombstone. As we see this, we hear Bohemoth speak from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]BOHEMOTH Hell In A Cell is gonna be just that. Hell. Hell for Tha Puerto Rican. You see, I'm sick and tired of PRL. I'm sick and tired of hearing his whiney voice. I'm sick and tired of his catchphrases. I'm sick and tired of him running rule over the OAOAST the past four years. And I'm especially sick and tired of all the times he's hit me over the head with a steel chair in the past few weeks! Ya see, it started out with me trying to get my 24/7 Title back. Then, it became about payback. Now... Bo lifts up his shades so his eyes pierce through the camera. BOHEMOTH Now, it's all about HURTING Tha Puerto Rican! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"[/i] Cut to PRL speaking on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. While he speaks, we see the shot of Bohemoth bleeding from the same show. [i]PRL I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE![/i] Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing his tombstone from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing a bloodied PRL T-shirt from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican opening up the casket to find a wax sculpture of him dead from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. All of this is seen while Bohemoth speaks from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. The overdramatic operatic music continues playing. [i]BOHEMOTH I am going to make sure you never wrestle again! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell Match, I am going to make sure that you don't walk out of that match ALIVE. On May 27th, they will all be watching as I take all that pain you've done to people...and throw it back at you. May 27th will be your JUDGMENT DAY.[/i] Cut to shots of PRL hitting Bohemoth with steel chairs over the past two months. Intersperse with this is more clips of a graveyard, and someone digging a burial plot. Cut to PRL speaking from the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]PRL The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two chairshots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave![/i] Cut to PRL warning Bohemoth to stay away from him from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL throwing coffee into Bohemoth's face from that same show. Cut to PRL telling Bohemoth to hit him from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL and Bohemoth staring at each other. Interspersed with this is clips of a funeral taking place and a funeral procession. We hear Bohemoth speak from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]BOHEMOTH School's Out. May 27th. You. Me. Hell In A Cell. And PRL, this won't be a match you'll win. I'm being perfectly honest here. PR, you're going to indeed know what hell is like when I meet you in the squared circle on May 27th. You're going to get hurt. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst pain you've ever felt in your life.[/i] Cut to shots of the Hell In A Cell. We hear PRL speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]THA PUERTO RICAN I'm going to come out of this strong Bohemoth! What doesn't kill me makes me stronger! Think about that, Bo! On May 27th, the only person who will get destroyed is YOU! AND ONLY YOU! AND THAT'S THE TRUTH, RUTH![/i] Cut to PRL crushing The Mad Cappa's larynx from the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL holding Lauren Gellar hostage from the July 14, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL slamming the top of the ladder on top of Leon Rodez's surgically repaired right knee from the March 29, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Ayane Mitsui from the July 14, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Colombian Heat from the April 29, 2004 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating down D*LUX from the December 21, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL laughing manically in an up-close shot. We hear more of Bohemoth speaking from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]BOHEMOTH Every punch will be for everyone single fan, wrestler, and OAOAST personnel who is sick to death of you. Every punch will be painful, but even then, it STILL won't match up to the pain you've caused OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS! No, P.R., despite all the pain you will endure in the Hell In A Cell, it still won't be enough to make up for what you've done. There's a special place in Hell for you, PRL. And on Sunday, May 27th at School's Out, you will get a special sneak preview of it.[/i] Cut to more shots of the Hell In A Cell. Intersperse with this is clips of dirt being shoveled into a grave. [i]PRL OH I'M SORRY! YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT!? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CRUSHING THE MAD CAPPA'S LARYNX! I'M SORRY FOR KIDNAPPING AND HURTING LAUREN GELLAR! I'M SORRY FOR SCREWING D*LUX! I'M SORRY FOR TURNING MY BACK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY CHEATING VICTORY I'VE EVER HAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY CHEAP SHOT, EVERY BEATDOWN I'VE EVER DONE! AND I'M SORRY--OH LET'S JUST SAY I'M SORRY FOR EVER BEING BORN![/i] Cut to numerous shots of Tha Puerto Rican bleeding throughout his OAOAST career. Interspersed with this is more clips of the Hell In A Cell. [i]BOHEMOTH Unfortunately for you...it's too late to be saved. No. The Hell In A Cell Match will still take place as planned. And it will still be the final match of your career. On May 27th at School's Out, the world will witness PR's Last Stand. For every fan who's had to put up with your CRAP for four years, this match is for them. I'm going to enjoy this match, but not in the way you would enjoy it. No, I'm going to enjoy it because I am going to be the man who stops this terror in the OAOAST. On May 27th, I will be the man who kills the P.R. Menace. On May 27th, I will be the man who puts you on the injured list PERMANTELY. Karma has brought you to Houston, Texas and School's Out. Every bad thing you have ever done has come back to bite you in the ass.[/i] Cut to alternating shots of Tha Puerto Rican celebrating and being in pain. We hear Tha Puerto Rican speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]THA PUERTO RICAN I FEAR NO MAN! I will step into the Hell In A Cell and I WILL WIN! And there's not a damn thing that ANY OF YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT![/i] Cut to Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat, bloodied, from AngleMania VI back on April 2, 2006. We see PRL's tombstone, the bloodied shirt, and the casket one more time. We hear Bohemoth speak one more time from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. [i]BOHEMOTH P.R., get ready, say your prayers, because, BO'S...GONNA...KILL...YOU![/i] Cut to PRL screaming from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to dirt being shoveled into a grave, from the point of view of the person supposedly inside the grave. Dirt covers the camera. The overdramatic operatic music ends. The video package ends. Cut to a close-up of the black spray-painted briefcase. The camera pulls back to reveal "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican holding the briefcase, standing by at the OAOAST School's Out 2007 interview set. The crowd boos. PRL is jumping in place with a serious look on his face. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., it is time. The much anticipated Hell In A Cell Match is only a heartbeat away. And PR, your Golden Contract is on the line here. How do you feel stepping into the Hell In A Cell for the first time ever in your career, against a man who people say you have No Chance In Hell of beating? Do you feel that your illustrious career is on the line too? "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Josh, this is just another example of people putting Tha Puerto Rican in a corner. And NOBODY puts Tha Puerto Rican into a corner! If life has taught me anything, it's that if you really REALLY REALLY want something to happen...chances are that the exact opposite of what you want will happen! So, I know that these people really REALLY REALLY REALLY want me to get my ass beat tonight. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN But see, because they think that Bohemoth destroying me is set in stone, it's not going to happen! That's the way the universe works! Now I admit it, I'm a little bit...worried about stepping into the Hell In A Cell with a madman. Bohemoth is going to be an animal unleashed inside that 16-feet high, 20 feet wide Cell. And there's not going to be no Popick, no Lindsay, no Wall in there with me. I'm my own man tonight. But I am up for the challenge. I will take the risk, because life is just too short not to! There's no way in, and no way out except through a locked door. But so what? I've got WONDERFUL athletic ability! I'm tougher than nails! And don't forget, I am The Corporate Champ, The Corporate One, The P.R. Menace, the most electrifying man in professional wrestling, AND the greatest Puerto Rican athlete that has ever lived! The fact that I am all that and a bag of chips is the reason that I am going to get through this! THAT and the fact that I am the most TENACIOUS man in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And the fact of the matter is that there ain't NOBODY crazy enough to do this gig except for "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! So I am going to go out there and step into Hell... PRL takes a moment to realize what's ahead of him. He does a big cartoonish gulp. THA PUERTO RICAN ...and I am going to come back...ALIVE! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! P.R. takes a deep breath, looks at his black spray-painted briefcase, and then walks away. J. MATH Guys, back to you. COLE P.R. sure seemed alot more confident then he was just a few minutes ago. COACH Because he is. He's ready for Bohemoth. The time is now and PRL is up to the task!

Well it's May, so that means it's time for the annual May tradition! School's Out! Our FIFTH annual one, Jesus Christ. It's going to be held at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. Send everything to Patty O'Green.....fo sho! -"P.R.'s Last Stand?" HELL IN A CELL MATCH FOR THE GOLDEN CONTRACT "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican (Holder of the Golden Contract) vs. Bohemoth

-PRL segment -Bohemoth segment -PRL promo

All my stuff is in. For once.

Second segment in the show, please. Make room for a PRL segment right afterwards. Dance Dance Dragon gets right back up as the crowd rallies behind him. The Bemani Bruiser exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. COLE We are about to see a flying dragon! COACH Look out PRL! Get the hell out of the way! Dragon motions for P.R. to get to his feet. P.R. slowly sits up. He then starts to get to his feet with Popick trying to warn him that Dragon's on the top rope. COLE Dragon looking to win his first OAOAST singles title tonight! COACH It's not going to happen! IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! The crowd is fired up. PRL is on his right knee. He then gets to his own two feet again. POPICK TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND! COACH YEAH! TURN AROUND! Tha Puerto Rican is severly weakened. His eyes are glazed over. The Corporate Champ turns around-- Dance Dance Dragon leaps off the top rope-- ---Flying crossbody! 1... 2... PRL rolls through, and now he is covering Dragon! He's grabbing the tights! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! A kickout! COACH That wasn't the finish!? COLE No Coach! Believe it or not, that was not the finish! The match continues! COACH Aw dammit! PRL is stunned that wasn't the finish. He demands that Hebner be reprimdaded by the OAOAST Championship Committee for what he perceives as biased officiating. The crowd, however, is relieved that the match is still going on. Stephen Joseph Popick is close to having a heart attack. He runs his hand through his hair and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. COLE Dance Dance Dragon is giving PRL a run for his money tonight! COACH Shut up! PRL is distracted by Bohemoth is all! It's not like Dragon is in PRL's league! COLE He might be after tonight! COACH Oh hush up, you! The Corporate Champion picks the Strong Style Party Animal up by his mask. Rock punch! And then, PRL grabs Dragon by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Dragon reverses--PRL reverses the reversal, and Dragon bounces off the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH Oh yeah! Here we go! Here we go! It's time! It's time! It's time! COLE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! Tha Puerto Rican is going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Dance Dance Dragon lies knocked out in the centre of the ring. PRL taunts the crowd as he walks on over to where Dragon is lying and kicks his right hand onto his chest. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Dragon's chest. He then does the weird hand signals and bounces off the ropes, leaps over Dragon...and stops in his tracks. PRL is distracted by something in the aisleway. COLE What the--? Why? Why did PRL stop? How come? COACH I--I don't know, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican's mouth is wide open as he exits the ring. The crowd is as puzzled as Cole and Coach are. PRL walks on over to the edge of the entrance ramp and finds... a tombstone. COLE Whoa. Is that--is that what I think it is? COACH That looks like a tombstone! COLE Where did it come from? COACH Why would someone bring a tombstone into the arena! There's an empty grave somewhere! Tha Puerto Rican looks over the tombstone, and is HORRIFIED at what he reads. Because, enscribed on the tombstone is the following: [b]THA PUERTO RICAN SEPTEMBER 12, 1979 - MAY 27, 2007 THE CHAMP IS DEAD![/b] COLE Oh my. That's Tha Puerto Rican's own tombstone! COACH Who did this!? Bohemoth! Did he do this!? He's trying to mess with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE How creepy is it to look at your own tombstone? How much damage to your psyche must that do? COACH How can he do this? What has PR done to deserve this? COLE Look at the date of death. May 27th, 2007. The date of School's Out. It looks like Bohemoth is sending a message to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Bohemoth, this isn't right! You're terrifying the poor guy! PRL is speechless as he stares at his tombstone. The crowd is shocked by it too. But then they start cheering when Bohemoth shows up again on the entrance stage! COLE And he's back! Bohemoth is here again! COACH He's crazy! Bohemoth really is crazy! PRL looks up and is spooked out. Bohemoth smiles as he starts walking down the entrance ramp. PRL immediatley starts walking backwards back to the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN You stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU JOCKASS! COLE Bohemoth and PRL will meet at School's Out on May 27th, but until then they cannot touch each other! So I guess Bohemoth will try to psych PRL out until then, and so far, it looks like it's working! COACH I've never seen PRL like this! NEVER! COLE That's because he's never faced someone like Bohemoth! PRL is *this* close to a mental breakdown! COACH Poor PRL. COLE You might be the only person in the world saying that right now. COACH Not true. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick feel the same way! COLE Touche. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" COACH SHUT UP WITH THAT CHANT! COLE It might come true on May 27th! PRL is trembling as he walks back to the ring. Bohemoth just chuckles as he walks down the entrance ramp across the aisle. Finally, PRL rolls back into the ring. He continues telling Bohemoth to stay away from him as his voice cracks and he shakes nervously in the ring. PRL Stay away from me, you hear? Just stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR ME!? STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM-- Dance Dance Dragon lifts PRL up! COLE He's not gonna! He's got him up! COACH Oh no! Oh no! Dance Dance Dragon has "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up on his shoulders. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL is too stunned to do anything. BEMANI BUSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE The Bemani Buster! The Bemani Buster! Dance Dance Dragon has got PRL right where he wants him! COACH Oh no! Get up! GET UP! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican. Stephen Joseph Popick is shaking his head. Bohemoth watches as Earl Hebner makes the count with the crowd counting along. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING* (9:19) COLE Dragon did it! He finally did it! We got a new X-Division Champion! DDD immediatley gets up and raises his hands in victory! The crowd goes wild as "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing. Referee Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt from the timekeeper and hands it over to Dragon. BUFFER Here is your winner...and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion...DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL lies on the mat, covering his face in shame. Dance Dance Dragon raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head and jumps up and down while the crowd cheers loudly. Bohemoth chuckles a little as he watches PRL lie on the mat miserable. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has gotten his revenge for what happened at AngleMania! He is now the NEW X-Division Champion, the first title he's ever held in his OAOAST career! COACH This is not right! PRL was distracted! Why didn't the referee get Bohemoth out of there! Why didn't the referee get that tombstone out of there? Since when is a tombstone a normal part of a ringside area!? COLE It's too late to anything now! PRL's OAOAST X-Division Title reign is over! COACH Oh, and it was a short reign too! This was only his second title defense! COLE And yet he's defended it two more times than Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has defended the OAOAST Women's Championship! COACH Oh let's not start! Hush up! Dance Dance Dragon heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to LOUD cheers. Dragon then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head again. Dragon gets off the second turnbuckle and raises the belt over his head as "Hung Up" continues playing. PRL is crawling in the ring now, crushed at his loss. Bohemoth applauds Dragon from the outside. COLE Bohemoth did a really good job psyching out Tha Puerto Rican tonight! COACH He's going to pay. Oh, he will pay. Bo's NOT gonna kill PRL! PRL's gonna kill Bo! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell, PRL will get HIS REVENGE! COLE Well, one thing's for sure. The X-Division Title will no longer be on the line in the Hell In A Cell Match at School's Out. It's all about pride now! COACH It's now all about Tha Puerto Rican ENDING THE CAREER OF BOHEMOTH AT SCHOOL'S OUT! Dance Dance Dragon starts busting a move in the middle of the ring with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers some more. PRL watches while sitting on his ass in the ring. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has pulled off the upset. It's the biggest win of his career thus far! Dance Dance Dragon is the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion, ending PRL's title reign in less than 2 months! PRL turns his attention to Bohemoth, who is staring right at him. PRL has a look of fear and anger on his face. He is shaking as he continues staring at his future opponent. COLE And now, Tha Puerto Rican can focus on his future, because, in just three weeks time, Tha Puerto Rican will be locked inside the Hell In A Cell against Bohemoth! One-on-one! There's no going back for Tha Puerto Rican! On May 27th at School's Out from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas, "The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will collide!

-PRL segment -Actually a few PRL segments that'll run throughout the night -And a PRL promo

The Caboose-Vitamin X match is finally IN! Yes! It's in OAOAST Syndicated and it's being reposted for this week's HeldDOWN~!. I'll have the PRL-Dance Dance Dragon match up sometime tomorrow. Also save a spot for another PRL segment.

CUE: School's Out commercial Eerie music plays as "Reckless" Drek Stone is shown walking to the ring in slow motion, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. NARRATOR He is the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. The screen turns to black. NARRATOR But you wouldn't notice. Cut to clips of Drek Stone beating "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican at World Without End, Tony Brannigan and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix at New Year's Spectacular: Mainframe Monday, and Zack Malibu at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. Cut to Drek celebrating his victories. COLE Drek Stone has held the World Title for NINE months now, and yet has only defended the Title THREE TIMES! Cut to Zack Malibu walking to the ring in slow motion. Eerie music continues playing. NARRATOR And now, one man looks to put a stop to his reign. HIGH IMPACT ROCK MUZAK~! plays as clips of Zack and Drek's various confrontations are shown! COLE Zack and Drek are going at it! COACH Zack Malibu has had enough of Drek Stone! NARRATOR On May 27th, one man looks to restore pride and honor into the richest prize in the industry! Cut to Zack Malibu fighting various opponents and playing to the fans. NARRATOR (CONT'D) While the other looks to keep his success going for another month! Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone fighting various opponents and being a prick to the fans. NARRATOR [b]ZACK MALIBU[/b] Cut to Zack Malibu posing in a broken down warehouse with the words "ZACK MALIBU" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR vs. [b]"RECKLESS" DREK STONE[/b] Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone posing in a broken down warehouse with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his hands with the words "DREK STONE" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR In an AngleMania REMATCH! Cut to Drek Stone beating Zack Malibu at AngleSlam 2005 and AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. NARRATOR Will Stone get his third victory? Cut to Zack Malibu raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt at AngleMania II and AngleMania III. NARRATOR Or will Malibu get his third title reign? Cut to more footage of Zack and Drek's numerous brawls while the generic rock music continues playing. COLE How personal can this get? COACH It's a war between these two! The OAOAST School's Out 2007 logo appears on screen with ordering information in big white blocky letters. The generic rock music continues playing. NARRATOR Publix Supermarket presents OAOAST School's Out! Sunday May 27th at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time/5:00 P.M. Pacific live only on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satelite provider to order now! School's Out: Where One Legend Dies... Zack? Drek? ...And One Legend Is Reborn. Drek? Zack? The commercial ends there. The generic rock music also ends. [b]Other commercials[/b]

Place this anywhere on the show, it don't matter. COLE Fans, almost two weeks ago, we saw a match that will be talked about for years to come. On OAOAST Syndicated back on April 28th, Vitamin X, the Financial Consultant and Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew took on Caboose, a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and folks, the results weren't pretty. Both men bled, both men were hurt, and both men had a match that will NEVER be forgotten! COACH That's right, Mikey! What a night it was for The Lightning Crew! Cuban Wall successfully defended his 24/7 Title against Jamie O'Hara, PRL successfully retained his X-Division Title against Bohemoth, and Vitamin X came out of the shadows and showed the world how tough he really is when he took on Caboose and BEAT HIM fair and squared 1-2-3 without ANY one's help! What a great moment! COLE It certainly was THE highlight of Vitamin X's career thus far, and fans, tonight, just because we love our OAOAST fans very much, we will show you the ENTIRE Caboose vs. Vitamin X No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match from two weeks ago on OAOAST Syndicated uncut and unedited! COACH Just another reason WHY the OAOAST is so AWESOME! YEAH-UH~! Cole looks at Coach. COLE Quite. Anyway fans, before we show this match, we would like to warn you that the following match is very violent. There will be a lot of blood shed and weapon usage. If you have small children, it is recommended that they do not watch this match. COACH Just a little warning from the PR department. And oh yeah, kids, don't try this at all. ANY of it. COLE That's right Coach. So now, without any further ado, HERE is the complete uninterrupted match between Caboose and Vitamin X, No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere, from two weeks ago on the April 2007 edition of OAOAST Syndicated. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are on commentary. COACH Roll 'em! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* *[i]Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling Nigga I got these hoes iced up enough While my lil B.G.s on the bus puttin' out cigarette butts But me personally playboy I don't give a fuck And I'm a always show love to my cut Hit tha club light tha bitch up The Cash Money motto we got ta drank 'til we throw up Nigga point the hoe out guaranteed I can fuck Wootay I'm tattooed and barred up Medallion iced up Rolex bezelled up And my pinky ring is platinum plus Earrings be trillion cut And my grill be slugged up My heart filled with anger cuz nigga i don't give a fuck Stack my cheese up Cuz one day I'm a give this street life up Beef I don't discuss A nigga outta line gone get his muthafuckin' head bust Cash Money millionaires plus Don't touch sumin nigga you can't fuck Twenty inches TV's is a must By the year two thousand I'm gut out my bus A lil nigga seventeen playin' with six figures Got so much ice you can skate on a nigga When you see cash money you know you stay flossin' Catch cha girl down bad ya know we straight tossin' I ain't seen a click yet that can stunt like mine I ain't seen a marette that can run like mine 1999 And its our turn to shine Fifty or better on our wrist and they all blind Pourin' vodka 'til I die drank 'til I faint 'Til a nigga tell me I need another drank My nigga Baby told me work nigga trick to them hoes Nigga baby told me work nigga better than treatin yo nose I'm tha freak of tha click Keep it on tha tuck so I creep on a bitch And I play it on the raw never sleep with a bitch Keep it real with my niggas Never weep for a bitch Never weep for a bitch Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling[/i]* As "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing over the P.A. system, causing the crowd to boo loudly, The X-Man himself, Vitamin X comes out. VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then plays to the crowd, who respond to him the way they usually do. Vitamin X is carrying a garbage can filled with a garbage can lid, a cookie sheet, and a Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire. VX is wearing a silver baseball jersey that has the words VITAMIN X written on it in blue cursive font, VX written on the sleeves in blue blocky letters, and on the back it has "R.I.P. THE LEGEND OF CABOOSE" on top in big blue blocky letters, the OAOAST Syndicated logo in the middle, and "2002-2007" written underneath it. APRIL 28, 2007 is written underneath that. X is also wearing blue sweat pants with the OAOAST logo on the left pant leg, black Adidas sneakers, and black elbow pads. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as Vitamin X begins his walk to the ring. SCHIAVONE Take a good look at his face. Because it might not be in that same condition ever again after this match is over. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. Coming down the aisle. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant AND Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X has his eyes focused solely on the ring as he continues making his way to the squared circle. SCHIAVONE This is going to be a BIG one, fans! It's time for Vitamin X to put up or shut up! He's going into the ring tonight alone, and he is going to face an OAOAST Original! It's time for Vitamin X to show how much of a man he is tonight! VENTURA This is a match Vitamin X has waited for not since March, but since he began wrestling! He's never been looked at as a serious threat EVER! But after tonight is done, people will know what Vitamin X, the X-Man is all about! SCHIAVONE I see that so far Vitamin X has honored the stipulations. There are no other Lightning Crew members with him. He's going at this on his own! The way it should be! VENTURA X doesn't need any help tonight! He's confident! He knows he has Caboose right where he wants him! Now tonight, he's going in for the kill! Vitamin X jaws with some fans at ringside. He sets the garbage can full of weapons next to the ring and then climbs up the ring steps as "Bling-Bling" continues playing. Prince Vitamin hops onto the second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into a X. He looks at the jeering crowd with a serious expression on his face. Afterwards, Vitamin X hops off the turnbuckle and into the ring. He then grabs the garbage can o' weapons and sets it down on the mat. SCHIAVONE There's no Princess Stacey. No Cuban Wall. No Mr. Boricua. No Bone Thug. No Thomas Rodriguez. No Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. And no PRL. It's just Vitamin X and Caboose. And they have the whole arena at their disposal! One fall to a finish. No Holds Barred! VENTURA This is what professional wrestling is all about, Tony Schiavone! A good old fashioned grudge match! This is going to be a night Vitamin X AND Caboose will NEVER EVER forget! SCHIAVONE So much anticipation for this match. This has been building ever since Vitamin X confronted Caboose on the March 1st HeldDOWN~!. On that night, Vitamin X declared WAR on Caboose, and tonight, the war will end. Vitamin X, The X-Man, will go one-on-one with the two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Caboose. For the first time...and quite possibly for the last time! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". That's the way this match has been marketed. And it may be true. We shall see! Vitamin X paces back and forth in the ring. No Shane-O-Mac Shuffle tonight. Vitamin X is all business. He grabs the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and stands near the ropes, staring at the entrance with the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. VENTURA He's ready, Schiavone! Vitamin X wants to make a name for himself, and THIS is his golden opportunity! SCHIAVONE How far will he go? How much pain will he endure? You got to think Vitamin X wants to beat Caboose as quick as possible! VENTURA Then again, he might want to hurt Caboose and administer PAIN for what's happened over the last two months! Tony, we might see a completely different side of Vitamin X tonight! Vitamin X holds the Kendo Stick like a baseball bat. He's still staring at the entrance. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. SCHIAVONE Caboose has been in some memorable battles in the OAOAST. Tonight might be another classic! VENTURA He remembers what happened at AngleMania. He doesn't want a repeat tonight! But Vitamin X wants to finish what he started at AngleMania! BOTH men have something to prove tonight! SCHIAVONE Just who is the better man? Vitamin X vs. Caboose! No titles on the line! This one's all about RESPECT! And you're seeing it tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! CUE: "Cochise" by Audioslave "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!" Spotlights converge all over the arena. Once the bass and drums kick in, Caboose lowers from the rafters, garnering more and more cheers the closer he is to the ground. Finally, 'boose plants his feet near the entrance, drawing the loudest pop of the night thus far. At this point, Chris Cornell's voice is heard over the P.A. system. *[i]I've been watching While you've been coughing I've been drinking life While you've been nauseous And so I drink to health While you kill yourself And I've got just one thing That I can offer Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh![/i]* Caboose unhooks the safety apparatus from his chest. He then raises his trademark cricket bat over his head to another loud cheer. He then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X, whose expression doesn't change. 'boose then begins his walk across the entryway as "Cochise" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Derby, England. Weighing in at 225 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. This...is...CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE! *[i]I'm not a martyr I'm not a prophet And I won't preach to you But here's a caution You better understand That I won't hold your hand But if it helps you mend Then I won't stop it Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh![/i]* Caboose continues walking to the ring purposely and defiantly as the crowd cheers. SCHIAVONE Caboose is in his classic attire. He's got his tights, he's got his facepaint, and of course, he's got his cricket bat! Caboose is 100% ready for this match-up! VENTURA That cricket bat is legal! SCHIAVONE Indeed it is, Jess. Anything goes in this one! Falls Count Anywhere. They can go all over the arena for this one! VENTURA And they will. Vitamin X isn't afraid of Caboose! He's going to show the world just how much tougher he is than Caboose tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! Caboose stands near the ring and points the cricket bat at Vitamin X again. VX points to his Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire. He talks trash to Caboose, who just stares. SCHIAVONE This won't be for the weak of heart. This won't be pretty. I bet the censors are going to go nuts over this one! VENTURA I'm sure there will be bleeding. I wouldn't be surprised if Caboose's white face is red by the time this match is over! SCHIAVONE They both might just bleed! Who knows what can happen in a match like this? One thing's for sure: it'll be better than anything the competition has put out this week! VENTURA Nice shot at our competition, Tony! SCHIAVONE Thanks, Jess. Caboose climbs the ring steps and then the second turnbuckle. He glares around the arena as the crowd cheers. 'boose then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X once again. He then hops off the second turnbuckle into the ring and makes a beeline for Vitamin X! VENTURA Uh-oh! Here we go! Vitamin X throws down the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and quickly grabs his garbage can full of weapons. VX begs for mercy, but Caboose keeps power walking towards him. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose is ready to start this match! Caboose swings the cricket bat! And only hits steel as Vitamin X held up the garbage can to block the shot! SCHIAVONE He almost took his head off! Caboose swings the cricket bat again...and only gets a garbage can! Caboose keeps on swinging, denting the garbage can in there process! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* [b]"First Time...Last Time...Only Time" NO HOLDS BARRED FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH CABOOSE vs. VITAMIN X (The Lightning Crew is barred from ringside)[/b] Caboose keeps hitting the garbage can until Vitamin X sticks the can onto the cricket bat. 'boose simply takes the garbage can and throws it over the top rope and onto the floor. That gives Vitamin X some time to escape, as he slips underneath the bottom rope causing the fans to boo! SCHIAVONE And Vitamin X is ALREADY leaving! VENTURA Hey, he's taking a breather! Let him get his mind back into this! Vitamin X catches his breath. However, he doesn't catch it for long as Caboose slides underneath the bottom rope and charges forward with the cricket bat...and only hits the stairs! Caboose turns around, his eyes full of RAGE~!, and charges forward, hitting only the barricade this time! Caboose keeps chasing after Vitamin X! He swings the cricket bat, but X moves out of the way, and Caboose hits the ring post! SCHIAVONE Caboose is chasing after Vitamin X like he's a killer in a slasher movie! VENTURA This ain't no movie, Tony! This is real life! Caboose continues his chase of Vitamin X, swinging the cricket bat wildly, while Prince Vitamin frantically tries to escape! Caboose swings the cricket bat for the hundredth time, but Vitamin X again moves out of the way, and Caboose nearly hits Michael Buffer in the process! VX runs around ringside, bumping into a cameraman along the way! SCHIAVONE Thank God we're up here. X trips and falls onto the protective mats. Caboose smiles an evil smile as he slowly walks over to where Vitamin X is lying. He raises the cricket bat over his head and says, "Now, I've got you!" But just then, VX gives Caboose a drop toehold, causing him to fall face-first onto the top ring step! VENTURA Great move by Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE He got lucky there! VENTURA Vitamin X using his brains to escape that predicament! That's why he's the Brains of Brains & Brawn. Caboose is kissing the top ring step. Vitamin X gets up and grabs the cricket bat. He raises it over his head and laughs manically. SCHIAVONE He's got it! Vitamin X has Caboose's weapon in his hands! VENTURA Oh, this won't be good! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control! The crowd boos loudly. The X-Man does a little Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and then lifts the cricket bat over his head, hitting Caboose in the head with it! NO! Caboose grabs the cricket bat, blocking the shot! The OAOAST Original gets up, and continues blocking the shot from Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE Caboose and Vitamin X battling over control of the cricket bat! Both men use all their strength, but neither man can gain the advantage. They keep going back and forth, until the cricket bat comes closer and closer to X's face! Vitamin X keeps fighting, but the cricket bat is only an inch away from his face! So VX knees Caboose in the gut. But Caboose continues fighting, and soon the two men are walking around ringside holding the cricket bat. VENTURA They won't give up! They both want that cricket bat BADLY! SCHIAVONE That bat's a powerful weapon! We've seen what Caboose has done with it on many occasions! Caboose lies against the ring steps, with the cricket bat coming closer and closer to him. This causes the crowd to start chanting, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" At long last, Caboose pokes Vitamin X in his eyes and gets the cricket bat back! SCHIAVONE That move's as legal as a headlock in this match! VX staggers around ringside following the eyepoke. Caboose measures VX up, and then goes to swing the cricket bat-- *BAM!* Vitamin X BLASTS Caboose across the head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE My God! I heard that all the way out here! VENTURA That just scrambled Caboose's brain! What's left of it anyway. The crowd groans watching that shot. Caboose wobbles, but he doesn't fall down. Instead, he rests on the ring apron. Prince Vitamin shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and then charges forward blasting Caboose over his head with the dented garbage can again! SCHIAVONE A second time! VENTURA Hey, two for the price of one show! I like it! Caboose stumbles, but he doesn't fall. He does, however, rest again the ring steps. By now, some of the facepaint has faded away. Vitamin X charges forward, hitting Caboose on top of his head with the garbage can AGAIN! SCHIAVONE Three times! Three times already! VENTURA Caboose can't even defend himself, he's so dazed! SCHIAVONE Caboose is in big trouble already in the early going! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! X raises the dented garbage can over his head with a cocky smirk on his face. He walks all the way to the other side of the ring, and then rushes forward...but gets kicked in the face by Caboose! The X-Man stumbles, dropping the garbage can in the process. SCHIAVONE Caboose with a move right there! VENTURA That was a desperation move, Tony! Caboose now knows what he's getting himself into! Vitamin X collapses onto the ground. He crawls around ringside. *BAM!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over his head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE And Caboose with some payback right there! VENTURA He got him good. But Vitamin X won't go down that easily! Caboose throws the dented garbage can aside. The crowd cheers. "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* SCHIAVONE You know, there was a time when Caboose would get angry at these fans for chanting what they're chanting...but I think those days are long gone! VENTURA His opinion on Vitamin X has certainly taken a 180 in the past year hasn't it? SCHIAVONE Well, you could also say that Caboose finally realized the truth. VENTURA The truth is subjective in this case, Tony. The truth is subjective! Caboose cracks a half-smile, and then picks Vitamin X up and throws him back into the ring. 'boose starts stomping away on The X-Man, causing the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew to scream out in pain. Caboose then gets down on his hands and knees and starts choking Vitamin X with his bare hands! VX grabs at Caboose's long hair in response. VENTURA Come on ref, stop this! SCHIAVONE No Holds Barred, Jess! VENTURA But Caboose is going to kill him! SCHIAVONE ...And? VENTURA You're sick. You know that? You're sick! Caboose finally stops choking VX, and then gets up so that he can stomp him again. Caboose picks VX up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. X bounces off the ropes, and Caboose kicks him in the gut, then bounces off the ropes himself so that he can hit X with a knee to the face! The crowd cheers. 'boose then takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and down with an elbow into Vitamin X's face! Caboose goes for the cover! 1... 2... KICK OUT! VENTURA The X-Man ain't out of it just yet! He's still got some fight left in him! Caboose is disappointed, but he continues on. He waits for Vitamin X to lift his head off the canvas...so that he can punch him in the face, knocking him back down again! The former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion then chokes Vitamin X with his left foot! VENTURA Caboose has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think even he knows that killing him wouldn't be such a good idea! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants to torture Vitamin X! He wants to disfigure Vitamin X! Caboose lets go. He then bounces off the ropes, charges forward, and hits VX with a baseball slide which sends him out of the ring onto the floor! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That can't be good for your back! VENTURA No DUH, Schiavone! Vitamin X holds his back in the pain on the outside. Caboose exits the ring and picks X up, then gives him a swinging neckbreaker! 'boose then gets right back up and climbs the second rope! SCHIAVONE He's gonna fly? From there!? VENTURA He wouldn't dare. The crowd cheers loudly, but Vitamin X gets up and walks away, preventing any high-flying moves from happening. The crowd boos loudly. 'boose gets down from the second rope and chases Vitamin X across the aisle. Caboose grabs Vitamin X and scratches his eyes! He scratches VX's eyes again, but this time holds on. That is until Vitamin X grabs Caboose and gives him a back suplex in the entryway! SCHIAVONE Oh! His head bounced off the floor with that! VENTURA The X-Man strikes again! Everytime you think he's done for, he fights back! SCHIAVONE Since when!? VENTURA Since always, Tony! Both VX and Caboose hold their heads in pain. But then, X crawls over and covers Caboose. 1... 2... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE That wasn't it! Caboose is still alive! VENTURA He might not be for long, Schiavone! Vitamin X's face tells the story. His disappointment is quite obvious. VX slowly gets up, and Caboose slowly gets up a few seconds later. SCHIAVONE The referee's only here to count the pinfall, that's it! Anything goes! They can't be disqualified at all! The X-Man grabs Caboose by his neck and tries a backslide! It gets two! Both men get up at the same time. VX kicks Caboose in his gut, and then starts hitting him with the CLUBBERIN~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to the back of the neck! VX kicks Caboose in the gut again, and then simply grabs him by his hair and slams him onto the floor! VENTURA Yeah, that'll work! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X simply THROWING Caboose onto the floor with that one! VENTURA Hey, if wrestling doesn't work, just fight dirty! That's what I always say! SCHIAVONE They can in this match! Caboose's eyes are glazed over as Vitamin X makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THRE--TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE Only two. Despite that sickening thud we heard just a few moments ago. The OAOAST Doubleshot Instant Replay shows Vitamin X throwing Caboose onto the floor. VENTURA I wouldn't want to be Caboose right about now! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control once again. What's going to happen now? X is PISSED~! He picks 'boose up and gives him an European Uppercut. X then punches Caboose squared in the face! VX then grabs Caboose by his hair and tights and slams Caboose's head on the top ring step! VENTURA I saw some facepaint fly off right there! Vitamin X throws Caboose back into the ring, and then follows himself. VX grabs the cricket bat and stands up, his eyes focused on Caboose. SCHIAVONE X has got the bat once again! VENTURA He's ready to finish off Caboose right here, right now! With his own weapon! VX does the McMahon SNEER~! again. He then charges forward, lifting the cricket bat over his head-- --CABOOSE GRABS THE CRICKET BAT! SCHIAVONE What a save by Caboose! The crowd comes alive! Caboose fights to hold the cricket bat away from his face! Vitamin X and Caboose once again get into a battle over control of the cricket bat! VENTURA They've been fighting over that cricket bat all match, but neither one has actually USED it yet! SCHIAVONE It's not going to be pretty whoever gets the bat! The cricket bat is only a few inches away from Caboose's face. But then Caboose fights back, and now both men are holding the cricket bat right between the two of them! VITAMIN X COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" Finally, Caboose just kicks Vitamin X right in the nutsack! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE A little revenge from AngleMania VI there! Vitamin X clutches his special area and collapses onto the mat! The crowd cheers. X crawls around the ring while Caboose heads over to a turnbuckle to catch his breath. Once he does that, Caboose charges forward and hits Vitamin X with a lariat! VENTURA LARIA-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! SCHIAVONE ... VENTURA What? I've always wanted to do that! Caboose then gets up and looks around for a weapon, finding one in the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He's going to use the weapon Vitamin X brought into the ring! SCHIAVONE It makes sense! Vitamin X tried to use Caboose's cricket bat! The crowd cheers, knowing that the Kendo Stick is a weapon Vitamin X has used more than once, and are now greatly looking forward for the tables to be turned. 'boose jogs on over to a turnbuckle corner and holds the Kendo Stick, waiting for Vitamin X to get up. SCHIAVONE Caboose has got his eyes locked on Vitamin X! He's got Vitamin X's trademarked weapon in his hands! VENTURA X better look out! There's a man who hates him holding his weapon! And it's covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE You say it as though there's more than one person who hates Vitamin X...and you'd be right! Caboose is motioning for Vitamin X to get back to his feet. VX is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. SCHIAVONE These fans are on their feet! VENTURA Caboose is not really going to do this, is he? X is on his right knee. He gets to a vertical base. X turns around... *THWACK!* AND GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE KENDO STICK WRAPPED IN BARBED-WIRE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH!" SCHIAVONE Down goes The X-Man! Down goes The X-Man! Caboose raises the Kendo Stick over his head to LOUD cheers! He points the Kendo Stick at Vitamin X, and the crowd seems to be clamoring for more pain! SCHIAVONE That barbed-wire connected with Vitamin X's face! Indeed, as a small cut has appeared over Vitamin X's right eyebrow. Blood starts coming out of the cut as Vitamin X sits up in pain. VENTURA He's bleeding! He's bleeding! SCHIAVONE Indeed he is, Jess! Vitamin X has been busted open by his own weapon! VENTURA There goes his good looks! More and more blood comes out. Vitamin X is screaming out in pain! Caboose takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and coming down with the Kendo Stick onto Vitamin X's face! SCHIAVONE ANOTHER one! Caboose is trying to disfigure Vitamin X now! VENTURA You sure the stipulations can't be lifted now? We need some help out here! SCHIAVONE No, Jess! This match has been going along smoothly thus far. VENTURA Smoothly for whom? SCHIAVONE Uh...the fans? VENTURA Shut up, Schiavone! Vitamin X can only see red now. The blood has covered the top half of Vitamin X's face! Caboose gets up and throws the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire aside. He stares at VX who is in the fetal position. Caboose punches Vitamin X in his face! He then does it again! And again! And again! And again! SCHIAVONE The blood is flowing! Vitamin X's jet black hair is turning red! Caboose picks Vitamin X up by his baseball jersey and starts hammering away at his face. VX is now dazed and confused and his face is red. SCHIAVONE The Financial Consultant and Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew being beaten to a bloodied pulp! The punching causes Vitamin X to stagger all around the ring. But Caboose keeps on punching him and punching him! 'boose takes X to a turnbuckle corner and starts punching him in the face there. Caboose continues his rapid-fire punching, and then runs over to the opposite turnbuckle. He charges forward, hitting Vitamin X with a Stinger Splash! SCHIAVONE Stinger Splash from the OAOAST Original onto the bloodied Prince of The Lightning Crew! Caboose grabs Prince Vitamin by his (now) reddish hair and throws him down onto the mat. X is groggy and breathing hard on the mat. Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick and stalks Vitamin X in the ring. VENTURA I think he's starting to like this! SCHIAVONE Who knows what's going through his mind at this moment? The crowd is cheering loudly. Vitamin X is sitting up on the mat. Most of his face is covered in blood by now. Caboose kneels down and GRINDS the Kendo Stick across Vitamin X's forehead, making sure the barbed-wire is nice and tight on The X-Man's skin! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! Look at this! He's using that Kendo Stick like a cheese grater! VENTURA I bet Princess Stacey has stopped watching this match! She can't take it anymore! SCHIAVONE We said this wouldn't be pretty folks! VENTURA How are we getting away with this in primetime!? SCHIAVONE God bless shady politicians! VENTURA Can you imagine all the pain he's in? SCHIAVONE I don't want to imagine! Caboose finally lets go of X, and X crawls away. VITAMIN X No! No! No! No! No! Vitamin X rests his head on the second rope. He wipes some of the blood off of his face and is HORRIFIED at what he sees. VENTURA I don't think The X-Man has bled like THAT before! SCHIAVONE I don't think so either, Jess! Vitamin X is convulsing. He cannot believe what he just saw. SCHIAVONE He looks traumatized by looking at his own blood! And Caboose just makes it worst by once again GRINDING the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire across Vitamin X's forehead! SCHIAVONE Oh God! Oh God! VENTURA I can't believe he's actually doing this! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants this to be the last time he ever fights Vitamin X all right! Caboose lets go, and Vitamin X nearly falls out of the ring, he's so weakened. Caboose pulls X back into the ring by his sweat pants. He then removes Vitamin X's customized baseball jersey and then rips off X's white Lightning Crew T-shirt underneath, revealing Vitamin X's less-than-stellar physique. SCHIAVONE Well, now we know why he wears a shirt all the time. VENTURA Hey leave him alone! He's been busy lately! He hasn't had time to go to the gym! You try being the Financial Consultant to the most powerful group in wrestling and a wrestler at the same time! Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire again. VENTURA That's enough with that Kendo Stick! Caboose places the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire in between Vitamin X's legs, right on his crotch! SCHIAVONE Oh boy. VENTURA Oh no! The crowd senses trouble too, and cheer to show their approval. Vitamin X's eyes are glazed over, so he has no idea what's about to happen to him. VENTURA This is insane! SCHIAVONE That's why he wants to do this! Caboose grabs Vitamin X's legs, and then gives him a legdrop right onto the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA JESUS CHRIST! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! The crowd can't believe it either! Vitamin X YELPS in pain! Caboose just stares at X grabbing his buffalo shot in agony. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose did that to make sure Prince Vitamin and Princess Stacey have no children! VENTURA The crown jewels have been damaged! Who's going to be the heir to the heir to the throne now!? VITAMIN X OH GOD! OH MY GOD! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! The crowd points and laughs at Vitamin X. Referee Jimmy Korderas asks if Vitamin X wants to give up, but X says, "NO!" SCHIAVONE I don't think Vitamin X will ever feel the same down there ever again! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" VENTURA These fans are really digging this match! SCHIAVONE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! They feel the end is near for Vitamin X! VENTURA It's not! Vitamin X can pull through! I don't know how, but he can pull through! Caboose grabs the cookie sheet that Vitamin X brought into the ring. He pulls Vitamin X up by his hair. VX can barely stand. *WHACK!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over the head with the cookie sheet! There's a giant dent in the cookie sheet now! SCHIAVONE Another hard shot in a series of them tonight! Caboose goes for the cover! 1...2....KICK OUT! 'boose eyes the referee angrily before getting up. SCHIAVONE Caboose hasn't said a word. He's remained 100% focused on this match. VENTURA He's gotta think of something REALLY good, Tony! Because Vitamin X is showing us he will not go down easily! Caboose leaves the ring. He lifts up the ring apron and searches underneath the ring for something. He pulls out a plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Oh my...Oh my...My--My God! VENTURA I don't believe it! SCHIAVONE Is that thing for real!? VENTURA Of course it is, Tony, you idiot! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers. Caboose holds the barbed-wire plywood sheet up for the fans to see. VENTURA All that barbed-wire! How did he sneak that thing into the arena!? SCHIAVONE I don't know! I've never seen something like that in my entire life! There's gotten be dozens upon dozens of barbed-wire wrapped in that plywood sheet! Caboose slides the barbed-wire plywood sheet into the ring. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" SCHIAVONE My thoughts exactly. Vitamin X lies on the mat. Caboose walks on over to where Vitamin X is laying. He picks X up. VENTURA Uh-oh! He's in trouble! SCHIAVONE There's a bunch of barbed-wire in the ring and Vitamin X is weak. This won't be too hard to figure out. Caboose punches Vitamin X! Vitamin X stumbles, but doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X again! VX stumbles close to the barbed-wire plywood sheet, but he doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X a third time. X *almost* falls, but is still on his own two feet! Caboose bounces off the ropes...and gets hit in the face with salt! VENTURA That's classic cheating right there! Vitamin X immediatley scoops Caboose up. He then slams him on top of the barbed-wire plywood sheet! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! VENTURA Caboose just got a thousand piercings on his back! The crowd is in SHOCK! Caboose screams out in pain as the barbed-wire pierces his back. He manages to shift to his side, and the camera does a close-up of the blood coming out of his back! He rolls off the plywood sheet, still screaming. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" Blood is now on the mat. Vitamin X is laughing manically. He gets down on his hands and knees and taunts Caboose, bloodied face and all. VENTURA Look at that! He's badmouthing him! SCHIAVONE No matter what type of match he's in, Vitamin X always has time to run his mouth! VENTURA That's why he's one of the greats today! VX pulls Caboose further away from the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire and covers him, hooking his right leg! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG! KICK OUT! SCHIAVONE He kicked out! By God, he kicked out! VENTURA This match has already taken a toll on them, and they're STILL fighting! SCHIAVONE They both want to win. They both want to show just how tough they really are! Vitamin X especially wants to show the world that he's more than just a member of The Lightning Crew! He's a real wrestler! VENTURA He doesn't have to go through this to prove that! He's already got my seal of approval! Vitamin X can't believe it. By now, the blood has dried on his face. He mouths "Son of a bitch!" and then picks Caboose up. VX starts punching him in the face! Punch! Punch! Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! Punch! VENTURA Ha ha! He's still got it in him! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X getting cocky. VENTURA He said we would see a different side of him tonight. And we have. VX picks up the barbed-wire plywood sheet and sets it up against a turnbuckle. SCHIAVONE More!? They want to use more of that *thing*!? VENTURA I think the blood loss is affecting his thinking, Tony Schiavone! VX has the plywood sheet set up perfectly, so he walks on over to where Caboose is. VX grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--NO! Caboose holds on! X kicks Caboose in his gut, and then punches him in the face several times. He grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose refuses to let go. VX punches Caboose again as the camera does a close-up of Caboose's bloodied back. Vitamin X grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose reverses--VX reverses--and Caboose hits the barbed-wire plywood sheet left shoulder first! SCHIAVONE GAH~! Caboose's left arm is stuck to the barbed-wire. So Vitamin X decides to make things worse by hitting Caboose with a dropkick! Caboose is squished further into the barbed-wire! 'boose then collapses onto the mat, his left shoulder COMPLETELY bloodied! SCHIAVONE .... VENTURA Wow. You don't know what to say! Vitamin X gets right back up. He takes a deep breath, and then throws the barbed-wire plywood sheet right onto Caboose's left arm! VENTURA My...God. Caboose screams in pain some more! The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly! "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* VENTURA Are they watching the same match I am!? SCHIAVONE They DESPISE Vitamin X, Jesse! They don't want him to win under any circumstances! VENTURA Hey, Caboose brought that weapon into the ring! It's his own fault! SCHIAVONE Doesn't give the right for Vitamin X to use it the way he did! VENTURA Anything goes in this match, Tony! SCHIAVONE Darn, you're right. VENTURA Score one for "The Body"! Jimmy Korderas tries to pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, but Vitamin X tells him to scram, he'll do it himself. VX does indeed pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, revealing Caboose's bloodied left arm. The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly. They chant for Caboose. VX leaves the ring and lifts up the ring apron to search for something. He comes out with a white bag. SCHIAVONE Now what? X throws the white bag into the ring, and then follows. X looks at Caboose, who is starting to get up, and smiles evilly. Prince Vitamin unties the white bag and then turns it upside down to reveal the contents of the bag. THUMBTACKS! SCHIAVONE Oh good. Just what this match needed! Vitamin X pours the bag of thumbtacks all around an area of the ring as Caboose continues getting up. X kicks some thumbtacks into place and then waits for Caboose to get to his feet. VENTURA This won't be pretty! Look at Caboose! His back, his left arm are bloodied! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X might be trying to bloody ANOTHER body part! Caboose uses the ropes to pull himself up. Blood is now on Vitamin X's chest. Vitamin X is tired of waiting, so he grabs Caboose and kicks him in the gut. X punches 'boose in the face several times. VENTURA I don't think either man knows what it feels like to have thumbtacks stuck to your body! SCHIAVONE One of them will find out now! Vitamin X continues punching Caboose in the face while the crowd buzzes in anticipation. They chant for Caboose. VX grabs Caboose, and lifts him up onto his shoulders. The crowd boos. SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He's going for The X-Clamation Point! VX holds Caboose in the air in a Torture Rack position. X screams out that Caboose is "FINISHED!" The X-Man stands next to the bed of thumbtacks, and then throws Caboose off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker-- NO! Caboose lands on his feet behind Vitamin X! Caboose grabs Vitamin X and lifts him up in a back suplex position... AND THEN THROWS HIM ONTO THE THUMBTACKS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE & VENTURA ......................................... Vitamin X is HORRIFIED! He rolls around the bed of thumbtacks, screaming the loudest he's possibly screamed in his entire life! SCHIAVONE I don't believe it! I can't believe it! Did I just see what I just saw!?!? VENTURA You did Tony! Vitamin X! Those thumbtacks! He's not wearing any shirt! And there's no forcefield over his body! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is lying in a bed of thumbtacks! In all my years of wrestling, I have NEVER seen something like what I just saw! VX sits up. He screams even more when he sees a few of the thumbtacks are stuck on his chest! And not just that, but they're covering his fingers too! The camera does a closeup of X's back, now mostly covered in thumbtacks! VITAMIN X They're in the bone! They're in the bone! SCHIAVONE They're on his back! He's a human pin cushion! VENTURA Somebody get Princess Stacey away from the TV right now! She should NOT under any circumstances see this! X takes off some of the thumbtacks from his right arm, which allows the blood to start coming out. X is shaking in the ring, looking traumatized by what just happened. SCHIAVONE I see some thumbtacks on the back of his sweat pants! They're covering his sneakers! How much pain is he in right now!? Vitamin X is on his knees, in horrendous pain. The crowd cheers loudly. Caboose picks Prince Vitamin up and rolls him up! ONE~! TWO~! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA It's not over! It's STILL not over! SCHIAVONE How is that possible!? How could Vitamin X possibly kicked out after THAT!? VENTURA Vitamin X is showing the world just how tough he is tonight! Everyone underestimating him only adds more fuel to the fire! Caboose, left arm covered in blood, mouths, "Shit!" Meanwhile, Vitamin X frantically pulls some of the thumbtacks from his hands. But his back is still covered with them! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X found the strength to kick out! I'm shocked! VENTURA I'm not Tony! SCHIAVONE You're alone then, Jess! These fans can't believe it either! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. Vitamin X is still pulling the thumbtacks from his hands. He looks at Caboose saying, "You're crazy!" Then, The X-Man slides underneath the bottom rope and leaves the ringside area while STILL pulling thumbtacks out of his hands! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is leaving! VENTURA He's going to get those damn thumbtacks off of his body! I don't blame him for wanting to leave now! SCHIAVONE This match has no countouts! There must be a winner! VENTURA Who cares about that now? For crying out loud, HE HAS THUMBTACKS ON HIS BACK! SCHIAVONE I don't think Caboose cares how Vitamin X is feeling right now. Apparently not, because Caboose leaves the ring and punches Vitamin X in the back! VENTURA UGH! Vitamin X trips, but gets back up and runs away, with Caboose right behind him! VX tries to beg off, but Caboose power walks closer and closer to him. So, VX decides to climb the scaffolding that's holding up the AngleTron! The crowd cheers, hoping for a nasty fall. SCHIAVONE Look at this! Vitamin X is climbing the scaffolding! VENTURA And his hands are still covered with thumbtacks! Vitamin X doesn't get far, however, as Caboose grabs X by the waist band of his sweat pants and pulls him off the scaffolding onto the floor, with VX landing with a sickening THUD! CROWD GROAN! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That had to hurt! VENTURA Gee, you think! X lies on the floor, not moving. His blood shot eyes are looking right up at the ceiling. Caboose just stares at X with contempt on his face. SCHIAVONE Those thumbtacks are STILL in his back! VENTURA That just made that fall a thousand times worst! Vitamin X still hasn't moved. The crowd cheers. Jimmy Korderas checks on VX. He calls for some help. SCHIAVONE This match has gotten out of control! VENTURA It's been out of control ever since the bell rang, Tony! These two have been going at it like beasts! EMTs come out to check on Vitamin X. X starts moving his arms. SCHIAVONE He's been pierced and punctured! And then he took that NASTY fall! An instant replay shows Vitamin X's fall onto the floor. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL on his back! I have no idea the pain Vitamin X is going through right now! SCHIAVONE Nobody should go through what Vitamin X is going through. His career, not to mention his LIFE will never be the same after this match! Referees Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda come out and tell Caboose to go to the back. Caboose leaves. But then changes his mind and attacks Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda! VENTURA He's striking referees now! SCHIAVONE Well, even though it's No Holds Barred, I can't really condone that. VENTURA Damn right! The crowd cheers loudly as Caboose climbs the scaffolding himself! VENTURA What? What the--? SCHIAVONE He's climbing that mechanism himself! VENTURA The hell? 'boose climbs higher and higher until he's near the AngleTron! The crowd cheers LOUDER! SCHIAVONE What is he doing!? What is he doing!? The EMTs and Jimmy Korderas try to get Caboose off of the scaffold, but it doesn't work. SCHIAVONE He's not gonna... VENTURA No... SCHIAVONE No way! This is career suicide! VENTURA I guess he hates Vitamin X this much! Caboose jumps off the scaffolding, doing a FROG SPLASH onto Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE OneWayTicket! OneWayTicket! Caboose with the OneWayTicket, his version of the Frog Splash, onto Vitamin X! VENTURA HOLY SHIT! The crowd can't believe it! Caboose stays on top of Vitamin X, covering him! Caboose hooks VX's legs! He orders Jimmy Korderas to make the count. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCHIAVONE No! No! No! THAT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH! VENTURA I tell ya, this kid even surprises ME! And that doesn't happen very often! The crowd boos, thinking that was the finish. Caboose is shocked himself, but Jimmy Korderas puts up two fingers and that's final. SCHIAVONE Where did he find the strength to kick out? VENTURA I don't know. Vitamin X must be superhuman! Maybe that's why they call him The X-Man! SCHIAVONE You see the blood on Vitamin X's arms. His back still covered in thumbtacks! The toll this match has taken on X will be felt for years and years to come! Caboose stands up, a little wobbly. He argues with the referee, but Jimmy Korderas still insists it was only a two count. 'boose curses under his breath, and walks around, getting the blood rushing through his veins again. Meanwhile, Vitamin X is still on the floor, breathing hard, but the bleeding has stopped. VENTURA Caboose is wondering what's it going to take? How much more punishment must Vitamin X endure? HOW MUCH MORE!? The crowd chants, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" Caboose slowly picks up Vitamin X, who is almost knocked out, and drags him by his reddish hair back to the ring, punching him in the face along the way. VX manages to remove some of the thumbtacks from his body, leaving behind blood stains. Caboose throws Vitamin X underneath the bottom rope. SCHIAVONE And we're back in the ring. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL there! SCHIAVONE Yes they are. And somehow I doubt Caboose is going to just leave them there unused! Caboose picks Vitamin X up. EndOfTheLine! SCHIAVONE This is how this whole feud started! VENTURA And this might be how it ends! Caboose covers X, hooking his left leg. The crowd counts along. CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! SCHIAVONE And THAT wasn't it, either! Caboose sits up, and immediatley mouths, "DAMN!" The crowd starts booing. SCHIAVONE Caboose has to be absolutely frustrated! VENTURA Frustrated? He's gotta be shocked! Can you believe the endurance of Vitamin X? SCHIAVONE No I cannot. VENTURA Can you believe what he's withstood? What he's endured? SCHIAVONE We're certainly seeing a different side of Vitamin X here tonight. Caboose slowly gets back to his feet. He's breathing hard. Half of his facepaint is gone. 'boose runs his hands through his hair. He then slowly walks over to where the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire is and picks it up, setting it against a turnbuckle corner. SCHIAVONE Caboose looking to inflict more damage with that board! VENTURA He's still up! I can't believe it either! SCHIAVONE We all know Caboose. If Caboose is breathing, he's fighting! VENTURA He might not be breathing for long if this keeps up! Caboose has set the barbed-wire plywood sheet up against the turnbuckle. He then walks over to grab Vitamin X who is resting on the outside. *THWACK!* Vitamin X hits Caboose in the face with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He got him right between the eyes! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X has struck back with that Kendo Stick! VENTURA Wrapped in barbed-wire! That's HIS weapon! Caboose covers his face. Vitamin X twirls his Kendo Stick a little bit before heading back into the ring. Caboose gets up, and a cut appears over his forehead. SCHIAVONE We have more blood! As though this match needed it! Caboose is bleeding from the forehead in addition to his left arm and back! VENTURA Both of these men could donate enough blood for 8 people by now! SCHIAVONE Maybe 20 people too! Caboose is slowly back to his feet. He charges forward, and gets hit in the gut with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Goodness gracious! The crowd groans as the barbed-wire pierces Caboose's skin. VX has a little trouble pulling the barbed-wire out of Caboose's stomach! But when he does, he continues on, hitting the Kendo Stick into Caboose's bloodied back! Caboose falls to the mat, but X is not done yet, hitting 'boose in the back with the Kendo Stick again! And a third time! And a fourth time! A a FIFTH time! X does some faux-Kung Fu style twirling with the Kendo Stick, drawing boos! SCHIAVONE The OAOAST Legend is down! He is flat on his stomach! His face is a mixture of white face paint and red blood! This is the most punishment Caboose has taken in a match in a LONG time! VENTURA Caboose will never forget what Vitamin X has done to him, and I bet that's what Vitamin X wanted all along! VX throws the barbed-wire Kendo Stick aside. He slowly walks around the ring. X tries to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, but his back hurts too much he can't do it. VENTURA Look at that! Caboose has taken away his ability to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! SCHIAVONE Good. Maybe he'll stop doing it then! VENTURA Oh come on! That's crossing the line there, Tony! That's gone too far! SCHIAVONE Oh Jess, calm down! VX walks around the ring some more, trying to recover as quick as possible. Then, he walks on over to Caboose and picks up the bloodied, battered OAOAST Original. X saids something to 'boose's face, and then turns him around. X lifts Caboose up onto his shoulders---Caboose lands right on his feet! Caboose turns Vitamin X around, grabs him... EMERALD FUSION~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vitamin X delivers a low-blow to Caboose! SCHIAVONE That is absolutely legal. You can't complain about that! VENTURA You're right. For a change. Caboose's face is now covered in blood. Vitamin X lifts Caboose onto his shoulders into a Torture Rack position. He holds Caboose up on his shoulders for a few seconds...before throwing him off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! THE X-CLAMATION POINT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He hit it! VENTURA That's the X-Clamation Point for this match! Vitamin X and Caboose both lie on the mat while the crowd stands up in shock. Both combatants are bloodied, battered, and breathing hard. Jimmy Korderas checks on the two men. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X hit it! He hit his finishing move! VENTURA I knew he would! He's going to do it! He's going to pull off the upset! Nobody saw it coming! That's gotta be it! Vitamin X raises his left hand in the air. He slowly turns to his side. He uses some more of his strength to push himself up. Prince Vitamin crawls over to Caboose's carcass, his face no longer white but completely red, and makes the cover, hooking Caboose's left leg. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999 3--LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA UNBELIEVABLE! SCHIAVONE CABOOSE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT OF THE X-CLAMATION POINT! VENTURA How did he do that!? I thought he was done far! SCHIAVONE So did these fans! The fans cheer loudly. Vitamin X's mouth is agape. X, the blood on his face dried, sits up, stunned. Caboose sits up as well, the blood still flowing from the cut on his forehead. Caboose crawls over to where his cricket bat is at and grabs it. VENTURA He's going for the bat, Schiavone! SCHIAVONE The bat's certainly done some damage in this match thus far! Caboose uses the ring ropes to pull himself up, while holding the cricket bat with his left hand. Vitamin X is slowly getting up. SCHIAVONE A collision is about to happen! That cricket bat is going to cause some pain, I'm sure it will! VENTURA Caboose is going to use that cricket bat on Vitamin X like he would use it while actually playing cricket! SCHIAVONE This match is about to get a whole lot more violent I think! VENTURA This isn't a match, it's a war! Caboose gets to a vertical base. He has trouble standing up. 'boose grabs hold of the cricket bat with both his hands and waits for Vitamin X to get up too. When he does, Caboose takes a swing with the cricket bat. BLOCKED! Vitamin X takes the cricket bat away from Caboose... AND BREAKS IT OVER HIS RIGHT KNEE! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! VENTURA That's symbolism, Tony! Vitamin X is finishing off Caboose's career! Caboose is shocked! That gives Vitamin X enough time to sandwich Caboose's head in between the two pieces of the cricket bat! VENTURA Oh! That's a new one! Caboose covers his ears in pain and stumbles around the ring. Vitamin X throws the two pieces of the cricket bat onto the mat. Vitamin X then grabs Caboose and lifts him up onto his shoulders again in a Torture Rack position. VENTURA He's going for it! He's going to do it again! Vitamin X parades around the ring with Caboose on his shoulders. X has a look of RAGE~! on his face. He yells out a battle cry before throwing the weakened Caboose off his shoulders and giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! Caboose's back lands on the top half of the cricket bat! SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! VENTURA On the cricket bat! How's that for irony? Vitamin X quickly covers Caboose, hooking both legs. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (21:02) SCHIAVONE It's over! By George, it's over! VENTURA He did it! He finally did it! The crowd is surprised that that's the finish. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Vitamin X lies on top of Caboose, breathing a sigh of relief. BUFFER Here is your winner...VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!" The X-Man rolls off of Caboose and gets his hand raised by Jimmy Korderas. X lies on the mat for a few more minutes while his theme song continues playing. VENTURA The Legend Killer lives! The X-Man has beaten the OAOAST Original! He has beaten Caboose 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! SCHIAVONE Uh-huh. And he didn't need anybody's help. The Lightning Crew adhered to the stipulation. He did it on all his own, fair and squared. He used his natural ability, his brains, and some weapons to put Caboose down for the count. Vitamin X proved to all of us tonight just how much of a man he really is! VENTURA He did it! He has finally shown the world just how great he is! SCHIAVONE And maybe, just maybe, he has gotten Caboose's RESPECT! VENTURA He better had. Or else Vitamin X might beat him up some more! VX rolls across the ring to the ring apron. The blood has stopped flowing all over his body, but he is still in tremendous pain. X wipes some blood off his forehead and then chuckles, happy over his victory. Caboose is still lying on the mat. SCHIAVONE We said this would be a night Vitamin X would never forget, and I'm sure he won't! This was the most brutal, most violent, most FIERCE match Vitamin X has ever been in! The bloodied Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew took EVERYTHING Caboose gave him and after two X-Clamation Points, the second of which was on a piece of the cricket bat, the X-Man, the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, came out the victor in what will go down as the biggest win of his career thus far! VENTURA People will look at Vitamin X differently from now on. Before he was just PRL's lackey. After tonight, he IS a SUPERSTAR! SCHIAVONE Well, you could certainly say he earned it. He worked hard for this victory. VENTURA He sure did, Tony! He sure did! Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey come out. Cuban Wall checks on his regular tag team partner, while Princess Stacey gives Prince Vitamin a hug and a kiss. Stacey's eyes are watery as she hugs her boyfriend some more. SCHIAVONE There's Cuban Wall, Vitamin X's partner in Brains & Brawn. VENTURA And there's Princess Stacey! Look at her! She's horrified! She can't believe what her Prince went through in that match! She's cuddling him like a puppy! SCHIAVONE Another BIG victory for The Lightning Crew tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! VENTURA Tha Puerto Rican must be VERY pleased with this match! VERY much so! "Bling-Bling" continues playing as Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help the weakened Vitamin X off the ring apron onto the floor. Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk back to the entrance. Cuban Wall swats at any fan trying to touch X, while Princess Stacey goes back and forth between being happy for her man's victory, while at the same time being worried for his health. Vitamin X, despite being in horrible, horrible pain, still finds the strength inside of him to raise his right hand in victory. Cuban Wall takes some of the thumbtacks off of Vitamin X's back. VENTURA I don't think this is so much a congratulations as it's picking up the pieces, so to speak. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X's body went through SO much damage in this one match! He might have cut a few years off of his career! VENTURA But at least his career will continue! I'm not so sure about Caboose's career now! SCHIAVONE You know, you may be right. I think Caboose's comeback has been cut short tonight! VENTURA And if it has, then Mission: Accomplished! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. 'boose breathes a heavy sigh of sadness. VENTURA Look at Caboose. It was his own cricket bat. The same cricket bat he has used for five years now! It was THAT weapon that led to his downfall! It was the one thing he thought could take out Vitamin X. It was THAT weapon that spelled his doom! It's very Hollywood-like in it's irony. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X picked up the pinfall on a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He is STILL on his feet, while Caboose is only now starting to get up. This has to be considered a major upset tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! He will never forget this day, no doubt about that! When you ask Vitamin X what he did on Saturday April 28, 2007, he's going to tell you, 'I beat Caboose in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match!' Cuban Wall chuckles a little as he, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey continue their walk back to the entrance. All Vitamin X can say is "Uhhhhhhhh....". Caboose is up and raising his hands, a defeated man. The crowd still gives him a standing ovation. VENTURA What a match. What a FIGHT is more like it! But look at Vitamin X. He's going to need the best plastic surgery money can buy! Luckily he has the money that can buy the best plastic surgery in the world! I mean, look at what he went through in this match! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to replays of the match, starting with Caboose throwing Vitamin X into the bed of thumbtacks. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X fought on, even after getting thrown into those thumbtacks. His back was literally COVERED in thumbtacks! VENTURA Oh, that's so painful to watch! His back, his arms, his feet! Jesus Christ, that had to be painful! Cut to Caboose doing the OneWayTicket onto Vitamin X from the scaffolding. SCHIAVONE Then Caboose threw Vitamin X onto the cold hard concrete, and followed that up by going up the scaffolding himself and jumping off with the OneWayTicket, a move we haven't seen in quite a while! VENTURA Caboose probably pushed those thumbtacks FURTHER into X's back! He had no shirt on. His body took ALL of that! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X felt 225 lbs. crashing onto him with no mat underneath him! That was just bare concrete! Cut to Caboose trying to hit Vitamin X with the cricket bat, but X grabbing the bat and breaking it over his right knee. Then following it up by giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point. SCHIAVONE And then, came the ending. Caboose looked to use his trusty cricket bat like he's done countless times before. But Vitamin X was ready this time. He grabbed the bat and BROKE it over his knee! Then use the broken pieces as a new weapon, then giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point, with Caboose's bare back hitting part of the cricket bat! VENTURA That was symbolism, Tony Schiavone! Vitamin X was symbolically ending Caboose's career by breaking his cricket bat! That one bat has hurt every OAOAST superstar, Zack Malibu, CWM, Stephen Joseph Popick, Alfdogg! That one bat was BROKEN by Vitamin X! Doesn't that say something!? SCHIAVONE Uh... VENTURA Yes it does. Vitamin X was the biggest threat Caboose has ever faced! And on this night, Vitamin X proved once and for all that he is BETTER than Caboose! SCHIAVONE It was indeed The X-Man's night! He showed the world what he was truly made of, and I think every OAOAST fan watching will never forget the image of Vitamin X being thrown into the thumbtacks! VENTURA Or Vitamin X giving Caboose the X-Clamation on that piece of the cricket bat. SCHIAVONE Yes. That too. VENTURA Most definitely. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey stop at the entrance. Cuban Wall taunts the fans since Vitamin X is unable too. Princess Stacey smiles evilly. Vitamin X just holds onto Stacey and cracks a weak smile. The fans boo loudly. Caboose is being helped by the EMTs in the ring. SCHIAVONE What a war. VENTURA Both men are battle scarred. This match has taken a toll on the both of them mentally and physically. Vitamin X may have won, but Caboose put up a fight too. SCHIAVONE He did, Jess. But only Vitamin X can say he won this match. And he did it on his own. Without any help from The Lightning Crew whatsoever. VENTURA Has your opinion of Vitamin X changed? SCHIAVONE Eh...a little. VENTURA A little? That's it!? SCHIAVONE Okay...maybe more than a little. VENTURA Oh come on, Tony! Vitamin X just went through hell! What more do you want!? SCHIAVONE I still think he's an obnoxious spazz who should shut his mouth...but at least I know he can fight too. VENTURA Oh Tony. I don't know what to do to help you. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey raise Vitamin X's hands in victory. They both laugh manically. Vitamin X finally shows some emotion, cracking a cocky smirk on his bloody face. Caboose is sitting on the ring apron, his back, left arm, his left hand, and face completely covered in blood, breathing hard. The EMTs are still checking on him. SCHIAVONE These two men will no doubt EVER be the same again! We did see a different side of Vitamin X tonight. A side perhaps we'll see more of in the future! We said this would be the first...last...and possibly ONLY time we would see this match...and I think we were right! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". Truer words were never spoken! Vitamin X is on the road to the top now, Schiavone! The future is bright for Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE But maybe not so much for Caboose! VENTURA Vitamin X has DESTROYED the legend of Caboose! Just like his shirt said! All Hail Prince Vitamin! He's not just The X-Man, right now, he's THE MAN! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is on cloud nine now! He has beaten an OAOAST Original, a founding member of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Vitamin X has come out of the shadows here tonight! What a memorable match we just witnessed! And we still got ONE MORE MATCH left! We'll be right back with the main event of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime, right after this! Caboose slowly gets off the ring apron, crushed. Cuban Wall taunts the camera. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk through the curtains while the crowd boos and "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. The camera shows the entrance, and this is the last image we see before we go to commercial. [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b] The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. COLE Wow. What a match. What an unbelieveable, exciting, breath taking match! Vitamin X stepped up to the plate BIG TIME on that night in St. Louis. COACH I knew it. I knew it before anyone else knew it. I did. I really did. Now I can say I told you so! Vitamin X is The X-MAN! COLE That match took more of a toll on Vitamin X then any other match in his entire life. We haven't seen Vitamin X OR Caboose since OAOAST Syndicated, but we presume that they're both recovering from the massive beating they both received and will return soon. COACH I hope Vitamin X returns soon. Not Caboose. COLE Coach, seriously? COACH Just because the guy got hit with barbed-wire doesn't mean I'll change my mind about him! Caboose knew what he was getting himself into, and as a result, I have no sympathy for him! COLE That's real nice, Coach. Real nice. Luckily for you, Caboose hates your guts too! COACH Fine by me. Painted up lazy freak! COLE You really are something, aren't you? COACH That's why people call me Da Coach, and not DA LOSER like they're calling Caboose! COLE Oh will you stop? Please! COACH I'm just saying, ol' CAB-O got WHOOPED on Syndicated, WHOOPED like the LOSER that he is! COLE Don't start! Don't start! COACH Loser! COLE Enough! Shush! COACH ...Loser. COLE Coach! COACH Bite me!