Ed Wood Caulfield

And I take it that everyone has read Bloody, Battered, and Beaten so it's okay for me to write this: Lightning Crew Gauntlet Match (If Cappa loses, he and PRL cannot fight each other ever): The Mad Cappa vs. Spanish Fly in a straight-up wrestling match. What time is everything due by?

How about Judas? Shuffle, all I ask for the NA Title Match is that you intersperse the match with clips of PRL watching the match from his dressing room with the Lightning Crew.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the greatest show of all time.

You are correct, sir. Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match for #1 Contendership to the OaOasT North American Championship: The Shuffle vs. Teddy Weddy vs. Blurricane vs. Alfdogg. How's that? And I believe Shuffle is writing this match, right?

Well, I got 99% of the presents I wanted so that was good. But, other than that, I didn't really like it. Christmas Eve was kind of blah. I went to my grandma and grandpa's house and opened my grandma's present for me and saw the Family Guy Christmas Special. And I slept through Christmas Day after I got my gifts. I think that can be attributed to me not sleeping at all during Christmas Eve and being absolutely postively tired during the beginning of Christmas Day. That and a pessimistic, bitter, cynical, negative attitude that I've devloped during this past year. Luckily, I got to see the Disney Christmas Day Parade on ABC with Christy Romano before I fell asleep so that was good. The 4 things that made this year suck was: 1.)My Playstation 2 becoming broken and having to send it to Pennslyvania to get it fix just when I got Tony Hawk Underground and SSX 3 as Christmas Presents. 2.)Not being able to see my cousin which REALLY suck since I had been looking forward to it so much. 3.)Not getting a chance to see A Christmas Story and taping it even though I've seen that movie every year since 1996. 4.)Spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day re-installing all the programs and files in my computer since I just got it fixed last Monday. Still re-installing by the way. Overall, it wasn't as good as last year's Christmas. Even though I didn't get alot of presents last year, I was alot more lively and happy than I was this year. Plus, I got to see my cousins, who ended up staying over at my house during Christmas Break (and led to my crush on Christy Romano). Also, I wasn't AS bitter, negative, pessimistic, and cynical, obsessive-compulsive last year as I am this year. So, yeah, I liked last year's Christmas better.

Great Christmas this year, present wise. I got: -A XBox (FINALLY!!!) -Enough money to buy a season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes from the site I usually go to get the episodes. I'm gonna buy Season 5 next. -SSX 3 and Tony Hawk Underground for the Playstation 2 which I cannot play, unfortnaley, because my Playstation 2 broke just before Christmas! Now, I gotta send the damn thing to Pennslyvania to get fixed! And it takes 16 days to do so. Shame, because I REALLY wanted Tony Hawk Underground. And now I gotta wait a MONTH to play it! And I don't even know how much the repair will cost. That's the only black spot on this year's Christmas. Ugh. -Membership to the Christy Romano fanclub -Shawn Michaels: From The Vault DVD -Deathrat! by Mike Nelson -Mind Over Matters by Mike Nelson -The Stone Cold Truth by Stone Cold Steve Austin with Jim "J.R." Ross as told to Dennis Brent -Kurt Angle: It's True! It's True! by Kurt Angle -Family Guy Season 3 Box Set DVD -Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Tetris Worlds for the XBox (Both came with the system). -Jay-Z's The Black Album CD -Truimph The Insult Comic Dog's Come Poop With Me CD and DVD -Missy Elliot's This Is Not A Test CD -XBox Music Mixer -Top Spin Tennis for the XBox -I'm also getting Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese by Mike Nelson and Wrestlecrap: The Book by R.D. Reynolds in the mail. I didn't get the Bloodbath DVD or True Crime: Streets of LA, but otherwise, I got everything I had wanted so that was good. Too bad about my Playstation 2 though. I REALLY hate to get this thing fixed. But I guess I have no choice then. *Sigh*. On the bright side, after a 2 month waiting period, I can now buy more MST3K episodes. I finally saw the HBK/Undertaker Hell In A Cell for the first time ever and it is as good as people say it is. And I have yet to see my Ric Flair DVD even though I've had it since November. I don't know what I'm waiting for.

Expect the aftermath of the Puerto Rican Lightning/Mad Cappa match from Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. -Cuban Wall vs. another jobber -Colombian Heat vs. some jobber with Thomas Rodridguez as the referee. -Lightning Crew T-Shirt Commercial

Done! I sent in the final segment and am done. All 7 segments are in! Now, Mystery Eskimo, you can post the show!

I just sent you 2 more segments. I'm going to send you my last segment for this week's show at either 11 a.m. or noon. Then you could post the show. Altogether, you should have 7 segments from me on this week's show. My last segment is coming in a little bit.

Hey Eskimo, don't post the show just yet! I got a few more segments I have to send you, THEN you can post the show. Give me until ATLEAST 9 a.m. before you post the show. Hold on. I gotta send you 3 more segments.

A slight change of plans: I'm going to save Cuban Wall's match for next week since it does not go with the flow of the Lightning Crew Christmas Party segments. Instead, I'll just be sending you the Lightning Crew Christmas Party segments to be played throughout the show. Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat will wrestle next week instead. I shall have the segments in by either midnight or 5 a.m. Keep checking your PM box Eskimo!

Let's see: January: It was alright. Not that good, but not horrible. January is a total blur to me since everyday was exactly the same. On the bright side, I started to see Even Stevens every day and thus began my year long crush on Christy Carlson Romano. I also was still recording episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi Channel that I had been doing since August 2002 and saw some really great episodes like Space Mutiny and Boogey Creek II: And The Ledgend Continues. I also started seeing Penn & Tellers: Bullshit! every Friday on Showtime which was good. Other than that, everyday was spent on the internet since I have been home-schooled this whole year. The only bright spots were watching Even Stevens, Recording Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes on the Sci-Fi Channel, the Royal Rumble, and SmackDown! February: Things looked up a bit at the beginning, since The Rock came back to the WWE and delievered his AWESOME Toronto promo and made RAW and SmackDown awesome so that was good. I read some great articles at X-Entertainment.Com and saw some good Saturday Night Live episodes. I continued recording Mystery Science Theater 3000 on The Sci-Fi Channel and saw some more awesome episodes like Devil Fish and Future War. Continue watching Even Stevens and I did everything I could to NOT do work in my home school since home schooling sucks. I chatted alot with my friend who lived in Miami which was awesome. I spent alot more time on the internet then on the books since I REALLY hated doing home school. I also saw that Living With Michael Jackson special which was interesting and led to some pretty good jokes on the late night talk shows. This was the best month of the entire year. March-April: Things start going downhill here. The Rock leaves the WWE and RAW and SmackDown become bland and boring once again. Home schooling continues to blow and it looks like it would never end. I end up recording all the episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 shown that are left on The Sci-Fi Channel which bites. X-Entertainment articles aren't that good and I spend all day on TSM since there's nothing better to do. But the worst was all the personal crap I went through during these two months. It was just God-Awful and I hated every minute of it. Just a total diaster that I never want to live through again. Just wretched. I did get to participate in an anti-war rally which was interesting. May-June: Both months are a blur to me. Both months were boring aside from writing for the OaOasT. The wrestling on both RAW and SmackDown! sucked badly. X-Entertainment articles got better and my personal promblems subsided for a bit which was great. I honestly don't remember that much from those two months since they were pretty boring overall aside from several high points. On the bright side, I had fun writing for the OaOasT. Started watching IMX and the beautiful Marianela. Also brought the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 7 package and got to see some more awesome episodes such as Night of the Blood Beast, The Brute Man, and The Incredible Melting Man. I also saw Do The Right Thing for the first time and loved it, and I spent Memorial Day in Atlantic City but it was so boring. I also got to see Roger Clemens win his 300th Game which ruled. July: Pretty boring. I did absolutely nothing that month other than spend July 4th at my grandmothers which was good. My mom and I went on vacation to Orlando, Florida for the third straight year, which was fun, but not as fun as my vacation in 2002. I think it was because I had such high expectations coming from the awesome vacation I had in 2002, that this vacation seemed as a letdown to me. I spent a week in Orlando and had fun, but I felt I could have more fun and didn't. I actually had more fun killing time before the vacation than I did actually on the vacation. The girls were REALLY beautiful in Florida though. And the fact that they wore very little was great too! August-Septmeber: Both months sucked and are a blur to me too. Got my computer fixed finally which was good since it had been acting up since April 2002. The only fun thing that happened in August was me and my parents going to Six Flags in New Jersey on Labor Day Weekend. The blackout in New York sucked and sucked hard. The wrestling sucked also. The only good that came out of these 2 months were seeing my aunt in August, watching Boys and Girls on The N, and reading some great X-Entertainement articles. Aside from that, every day was the same damn thing. It got pretty damn tiring to do the same exact thing. I had nothing to do 99% of the time and it was SO boring. I remember yearning for something interesting to happen at all. Other than watching IMX and writing for the OaOasT, I was bored to tears most of the time. Joe Schmoe was interesting though. Best part of September was going to the SmackDown! House Show at Madison Square Garden and seeing John Cena do a hilarious rap about New York City. October: 2nd best month of the year. The Yankees were in the Playoffs and the entire playoffs were awesome. I didn't get to see Game 7 of the ALCS but I did mark out when I heard the Yankees won. Best ALCS I ever seen. The World Series was pretty boring compare to that, and the Yankees losing to the F'N MARLINS didn't was awful. I continued writing for the OaOasT, but other than that it was the same old, same old, and that sucked. Boring pretty much sums up October with the only good things being the Yankees in the playoffs, me buying Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 3 and enjoying more great episodes such as Mr. B Natural, Time of the Apes, and Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, Gamera vs. Zigra, and Gamera. Watching IMX with Marianela and writing for the OaOasT. Got into the O.C. at this time also. November-December: Same as usual. I did start seeing Family Guy which rocked. Awesome show. I didn't think the wrestling sucked, but I didn't think it was awesome either. Just decent. Played SmackDown!: Here Comes The Pain which ruled. Best part of November was going to the Museum of Television and Radio in Manhattan and seeing Mystery Science Theater 3000. Damn right it should be in the Museum of Television and Radio!Continued writing for the OaOasT and liked the shows. Continued watching IMX with Marianela and Even Stevens with Christy Romano. Great X-Entertainment articles with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade articles. Got my computer fixed for the second time this year. Can't think of anything interesting. Played with my cat? I continued doing the damn home schooling and continued hating it. Home schooling is overrated. So, that was my entire year. I can't believe how fast it went by. I still remember January as if it was yesterday. Bright Spots: The Rock on RAW and SmackDown! The Yankees in the Playoffs. Vacation in Florida. Seeing my relatives in August and December. Recording and buying Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes. Talking to my best friend. Thinking about Christy Romano and seeing the Even Stevens Movie and Even Stevens. Some great TSM threads. Some pretty funny X-Entertainment Articles. Going to Six Flags on Labor Day. Seeing Do The Right Thing for the first time. Watching Penn & Teller: Bullshit and Chappelle's Show. Recording some pretty funny comedy specials. Hearing some good music. Going to the Circus with my 5 year old cousin. Writing for the OaOasT. Going to the Museum of Television and Radio and seeing Mystery Science Theater 3000 included there. Playing some good games like SmackDown!: Here Comes The Pain. Rediscovering Kids In The Hall and Public Enemy and Audioslave. And PE's new album. Seeing some really hot girls in Orlando, Florida and New York. Recording Family Guy and Kids In The Hall. Going to the anti-war rally. Watching South Park. Some good wrestling. Seeing the Michael Jackson specials. Some funny Saturday Night Live. The dinner I had with my family during Game 3 of the ALCS. Some good ppvs I order this year. Oogling the girls on Degrassi and Girls & Boys. Going on any MST3K related websites. Seeing Invasion of the Neptune Men numerous times. Going to the SmackDown! House Show at Madison Square Garden. Thanksgiving. Dark Spots: Anything else that wasn't mentioned. Overall, this year ranged from Good, to sucky, to just plain bland. 2003 wasn't one of my favorite years, even though I did have some really great bright spots. Alot of small bright spots and some big ones. It is way, WAY better than the awfulness that was 2002, but it did not touch the greatness of 1998-1999. Not by a long shot. Hopefully, 2004 looks to be extremely better, unless God hates me and wants me to be miserable for my entire life. Hopefully, the wrestling will finally get better and the Olympics will happen in August in Greece, so I have that to look forward to. I also learned that home school fucking sucks and is overrated. In star ratings: January: **1/2 February: *** March: ** April: 1/4* May: * June: *1/2 July: **(One more star for my vacation) August: ** September: DUD October: **1/4 November: ** December: **1/2 2003: **1/2 Here's hoping 2004 is WAY better.

I'll never ever forget the commercials hyping up the Atari Jaguar. From November 1994-January 1995, I remember those commercials being played every single day on the WB from 3-6 p.m. There was this one commercial where these people are visiting a psychologist, and all they can talk about is the games featured on the Jaguar. Then there is another one, where someone is shown throwing their NES, Super Nintendo, Gameboy, and Sega Genesis into this trunk with the annoucer saying "You won't have to play with these antiques anymore, because the future of video games has arrived! Introducing the Atari Jaguar. The world's first 64-Bit Gaming Console. With all new games, graphics. You will never see another system like this. So don't bother dusting off your old systems. Get the future of games. The Jaguar by Atari." Or something like that. I remember the Jaguar getting so much hype, yet 2 or 4 months later, it completley disappeared. Anyone ever read the interview from one of the creators of the Jaguar from a gaming magazine (I forget the name), where the creator said that the Playstation had better graphics, and was just a little bit better than the Jaguar. That one cracks me up. Does anyone remember this?

Actually, I thought "The Rundown" actually did good but didn't do AS GOOD as the studio and The Rock wanted it to. It wasn't the $100 MILLION IN THE FIRST WEEKEND that they had hoped.

I agree. It's too bad he's gone, and now when he shows up he's his old face self. Which is still good, but it can't touch Hollywoord Rock... I agree. "Hollywood" Rock was just AWESOME! The entrance music, the Helicopter entrance, the mannerisms, the cockyness, the segments. The "Hollywood" Rock segments were GOLD. Everytime he was on screen, he delievered the goods. RAW was awesome for 2 months thanks to him. He had like 3 or 4 segments per show, but those segments were so good, that RAW didn't end up sucking thanks to them. Those were my favorite Rock segments EVER! Watching this makes me relize how much he rocked and how much I miss him . He is still great as a face, but LOVED "Hollywood" Rock.

These clips of Rock's awesomeness from 2003 makes me miss The Rock and wish he come back full time.

I LOVED The Rock concerts. Whenever he played the guitar, it was great!

Are you kidding? As long as there is pro wrestling, there will always be SmartMarks to be pissy about some aspect of it... But how much stuff could Smartmarks bitch about the WWF from January-September 2000? These are the ones that seem obvious. -The APA -The Right To Censor -Chyna being paired with Eddie Guerrero -Benoit not winning the WWF Title -Jericho not winning the WWF Title -Malenko not winning the WWF Title -Shane and Stephanie McMahon winning WWF Championship belts. -Undertaker still wrestling and not putting anyone over. -T&A That's all I can think of. What else would there be? -Face Rock? -HHH? -Kurt Angle???? The good outweigh the bad for about 9 months in 2000. I could see complaints about the result of the HHH/Angle/Steph love triangle, Rikishi running over Austin, and HHH no-selling death, but besides that, 2000 had alot of great, great stuff.

Well, they FINALLY mentioned Crash Holly which is good.

Damn, I can't believe all the wrestlers who died this year.

Rock's girlish scream in the Hurricane/Rock segment gets me everytime.

I got a question: I didn't visit TSM back during the Smarks days in 2000-2001. Was there ever a One And Only RAW Thread Back then, and if so, how many pages did those threads usually go? I take it, most of the posts weren't people bitching about the WWF.

How is Goldust's stupid tourette's sydrome gimmick a "Body Slam of the Week"?

I didn't think the Goldberg/Hogan match when Goldberg won the WCW Title was good. Maybe **1/2 with a little boost due to the crowd heat. I agree that the Goldberg/DDP matches were good (Halloween Havoc and Fall Brawl) and the Elimination Chamber II was great. I thought the Goldberg/Kevin Nash match from Starrcade 1998 sucked, but I liked their match at Spring Stampede 1999.

I remember that I was interested and a little excited to see how they would make Kane look without the mask. When all they did was make Kane have ash smudged all over his face and half his head shave, I was VERY disappointed.