Hank Kingsley

Come on, everyone knows SWF Champion Charlie Matthews would kill OAOAST Champion Zack Malibu if they had a match. And if he couldn't do it in the match itself, he'd just bore Zack to death. It all works out in the end.

Keith Szarabajkakajakajskfsa's "Welcome to the Quor-toth" greeting may be the greatest thing ever. That and Woodward's Edward Scissorhands one. The W&H Revue writeup just makes me jealous.

Yeah, first episode of the new Raw post-brand split, for RVD's IC Title. It was actually the first match, too, and JR was all "We're starting things off on the new Raw with a CHAMPIONSHIP *WRESTLING* MATCH!"

By the way, I wholeheartedly pimp the City of Angel website (cityofangel.com). Not only is it the best Angel website I've seen (look for the write-up on the Wolfram and Hart Annual Revue; it's awesome), but they have mystery VIP greetings from the crew of the show, including Joss, Tim Minear, Jonathan Woodward, Amy Acker, Vladimir Kulich (THE BEAST~), Drew God(dard), and Jeffery Bell, plus about 20 others.

It's funny going back and reading the beginning of the thread. Everyone's all "This season sucks! This isn't Angel! What a disappointment! No story arc!" and now we're here and holy CRAP I can't wait until Wednesday.

2) The Hardyz vs Edge and Christian vs The Dudleyz vs Jericho and Benoit, TLC III for the WWF Tag Team Titles (Smackdown)

I love The Rock.

Hey, nice promo to establish the sudden change in persona for Mike's tag partner. It was really needed, since Cortez is really just an untalented oattoast reject.

Amputate.

But he's a black gangster! And he's French! How delightfully awesome is that?

1.) American Dragon vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Low Ki from Ring of Honor's The Era of Honor Begins 2-23-02

*sigh* I should've known better, because I essentially wasted all of yesterday writing this POS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!* SWF Storm EXPLODES back onto the air, as it is now time for the main event for tonight’s show! The fans are rabid, having already seen a night of thrilling, exciting action. “Welcome back, citizens!” Cyclone Comet greets, “we’ve seen an amazing SWF Storm so far, but up next is what some internet fans have been dubbing a dream match – Charlie Matthews is going to lock up against Danny Williams in a non-title match!” “What a coward Grappler is,” Bobby Riley scoffs, “he can’t even put his title on the line on a regular basis! I tell you, after Battleground, when John Duran wins the title, there’s going to be a whole lot of changes around here, for the better.” “Bobbo, if the title was on the line tonight, there’s a possibility that Duran wouldn’t even get a title shot at Battleground, assuming Citizen Deathwish won tonight’s match.” “…shut up.” After Riley’s amazing save, the lights in the Joe Louis Arena go out completely, and familiar Duran Duran lyrics belt out from the sound system. NO! NO! NOTORIOUS! The words fade into Spineshank’s “Synthetic” as the Detroit fans roar their disproval of the man that appears on the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon begins, “the following non-title contest is our main event tonight, scheduled for ONE fall! First, please welcome the special guest commentator tonight, from Champaign, Illinois, he is the leader of the Unnamed, he is THE NOTORIOUS ONE, JOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN DUUUUUUURAAAAAN!!!” The Notorious One marches down the ramp, clad in “Sin to Win” t-shirt and black pants. He circles around the ring and takes his seat next to Cyclone Comet before putting his headset on. “I must say,” Comet begins, “it is a tad bit conspicuous, citizen Duran, that you come down to commentate during citizen Matthews’ match.” “Don’t listen to him, Johnny,” Riley says, “good to have you here, stud muffin.” Duran replies only to Comet’s statement, “I’m just here to study. You know, strategy, the like. Why would I want to cause any trouble?” With that, In Flames’ “Jester’s Dance” blasts into the Joe Louis Arena, and the fans go absolutely INSANE! “Now,” Funyon continues, “introducing the participants! First, from Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at 243 pounds, he is a former SWF United States, Intercontinental-Television, and World Heavyweight Champion, he is DEAAAAAATHWISSSSSSSSH DAAAAAAANNY WIIIIIIIILLIAMSSSSSSS!!” “DAN – E!” “DAN – E!” The crowd’s chants show Michigan’s approval of Williams, as he steps out from behind the curtain and heads down to the ring. Danny stays focused on the ring, coolly sliding under the bottom rope and entering the ring. He never once looks at Duran at the commentary table. “And his opponent…” The lights go out, Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” echoes through the arena, and the fans continue their loud cheering! “From Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 301 pounds, he is the S – W – F HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, HE IS CHAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSSSSS!!!” Matthews appears at the top of the stage, World Title belt strapped proudly around his waist and a determined fire in his eyes. He nods a quick nod at the Detroit fans before confidently walking down the ramp towards the ring. He climbs up onto the apron and steps through the ropes, removing his title belt and placing it in the corner. Unlike Williams, Matthews does lock eyes with Duran, and it takes him a long while to divert his attention to the match at hand. Nick Soapdish checks to make sure both men are ready, and then signals for the bell to begin the match! *DING DING DING!* “Well, Citizen Duran,” Comet sighs, “since you happen to be out here, what are your thoughts on this match? It’s well documented that you don’t quite care for either man.” “I hate Danny Williams’ guts,” Duran agrees, “but I hate Grappler’s even more. This guy is a phony, a counterfeit, whatever. As much as I can’t stand Danny, I want to see him kick Grappler’s ass tonight. It’ll just make the job easier later.” “A vulture!” Riley exclaims, “See, Duran just likened himself to a vulture, a BIRD OF PREY~, going after the pickings left behind. If that isn’t a warrior, I don’t know what is.” Matthews and Williams advance towards the center of the ring, and without much coaxing from the fans, lunge forward and interlock their arms with a collar-elbow tie-up. The two warriors remain at a stalemate for a few seconds as they jockey for position, but Matthews’ strength overcomes Williams’, as he is able to push him back against the turnbuckle. Soapdish calls for a clean break and gets one from Grappler, but as he backs away the champion makes a ‘bring it’ gesture, which gets a cheer from the crowd. Deathwish obliges, lunging out of the corner and initiating another tie-up. The two jockey again…but this time, Williams is able to slowly force Charlie against the opposite corner! Danny cleanly breaks, and does the same ‘bring it’ gesture to Matthews, to an even louder ovation from the Detroit crowd! “And we’re seeing a little game of one-upmanship here!” Comet notes, “Citizen Duran, when you’re in the ring with our World Champion, what is your typical strategy?” “He just BFT’s them into oblivion!” Riley screams, “Isn’t that right, soon to be champ?” Duran chuckles before adding, “Well, yes and no. Riley, I appreciate the support, but Comet, you’ve gotta go in there and wear that bastard down. As much as I hate to admit it, Grappler is strong and has a hell of a lot of endurance, so you have to use submissions to slow him down.” Matthews simply nods at Williams, and as both men lunge in for another tie-up, Grappler lifts his knee up, right into Danny’s midsection! Deathwish doubles over, and Charlie slugs him in the face with a hard left cross! A right cross! Matthews takes Danny by the arm and whips him towards the opposite side of the ring. Williams hits the ropes and comes back, just as Grappler locks his left arm around Danny’s left and drops down, flipping him over with an armdrag! Deathwish gets right back to his feet but so does Matthews, and as Danny runs forward, Charlie goes through the same motion, flipping him over with another armdrag…but this time, Williams rolls through with the move and gets right back to his feet, unharmed! Grappler runs towards Danny, but this time the former champion is ready, swinging his bent arm around and drilling Matthews in the side of the head with an elbow SMASH! *CRAAAACK!* The force of the awesome elbow causes Charlie to fall backwards, like a sack of bricks! “TIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR!!” Riley laughs, “sure, Danny Williams is a hemorrhoid on the ass of life, but seeing Charlie Matthews getting his ass kicked equals entertainment!” “Can’t argue with that,” Duran muses. Williams, seeing his opening, immediately walks over to Charlie and takes him by the head, lifting him up to his feet. He grabs Grappler’s right arm and twists around it, executing a basic arm wringer. From there, he bends the arm behind Matthews’ back, holding in a hammerlock. The champion quickly tries to fight out of it, shooting his left arm back with an elbow that catches Danny right in the head. Another one, a third…but Deathwish catches the third elbow and bends the arm behind his back, now executing a DOUBLE hammerlock on the champion! The crowd roars at Danny’s innovation, while Matthews struggles to find a way out of the hold. Seeing his only option available, Grappler turns his body and simply charges backwards, sandwiching Williams between Matthews’ 300 pounds and the turnbuckle! Danny doesn’t let go, so Charlie takes a few steps forward and charges back again, crushing Williams and forcing him to break the hold! “Quite the ingenuity by Citizen Williams,” Comet points out, “and it looks like he’s targeting the arms of our champion, possibly setting him up for that deadly Buffalo Sleeper hold!” “Deadly?” Duran scoffs, “I could fight out of that thing blindfolded! And those elbows? Pssh. You people make it sound like they’re gunshots when they’re really like bee stings.” “Okay, Duran,” Riley mock-chastises, “don’t hurt Danny’s self confidence!” “You’re right, Riley, I apologize. They’re more wasp stings than bee stings.” Charlie turns around to face his adversary again, but instead of throwing punches, the champion lifts his leg into Danny’s midsection, causing him to double over. With that, Matthews gingerly wraps his left arm around Williams’ head and simply drops down, executing almost a bulldog-like maneuver before maintaining the headlock from a grounded position. “DAN – E!” “DAN – E!” The Michigan fans are loud and clear in their support for Williams, but Grappler isn’t listening as he maintains his tight hold on the Kentucky native. However, still being fresh in the match, Danny is able to rise up to his knees, Matthews with him, and then the two men get to their feet! Though still in the headlock, Danny shoots an elbow into Charlie’s side, three, to be exact, and as Charlie releases the headlock, Deathwish turns and wraps his arms around the champ’s body, before turning on his heel and lifting Grappler off his feet, dropping him to the mat with a side belly to belly suplex! The crowd roars again as Danny stays on top of Matthews, and Nick Soapdish counts the first cover of the match! “ONE!” “TW – NOOO!” Matthews gets his shoulder off the canvas quite easily, and Williams gets off of him and retreats to a corner to wait for him to get to his feet. “What a nice guy,” Duran says, mockingly, “you know, if he wasn’t such a freakin’ idiot, he’d stay on Grappler and beat him up some more! What’s with this quasi-respect these two guys have? You’re out there to win, not to keep the fans’ respect!” “Citizen Duran,” Comet chimes in, “sometimes you need to look at both sides of an issue, not just your own.” With that, Duran and Riley both smack Comet on opposite sides of the head. “There, Comet,” Riley laughs, “you just saw both sides of the issue!” Matthews rises up, against the turnbuckle for support. Williams sees this and charges forward from the opposite corner, lifting his knee up and drilling Grappler right in the midsection with a HARD running knee lift! With Charlie stunned, Danny turns and reaches up, grabbing Matthews around the chin and pulling him forward, over his shoulder with a snapmare! Now with Grappler seated, Williams moves in for the kill, quickly trapping Charlie’s right arm behind him and wrapping his own left arm around Grappler’s neck with the BUFFALO SLEEP- but no, Matthews anticipates this and throws his body over, onto the nearby ropes, causing Danny to break the hold! “That just shows you,” Comet notes, “that the Buffalo Sleeper hold can come out of NOWHERE! Early in the match, late, whenever, it IS something to be feared.” “If you’re an incompetent boob of a champion,” Duran adds, “really, Grappler used to be a lot tougher than he is now. Now he just looks like a complete pussy, afraid of taking a submission hold from Danny Williams.” Williams relinquishes the hold and backs away, allowing Matthews to use the ropes and pull himself up. As soon as he does, however, Danny attacks his back with hard elbows and kicks! To stop this sudden onslaught, Charlie shoots his right arm around with a backhand fist…but AGAIN Deathwish catches it and pulls it behind his back with a hammerlock! This time, though, Grappler is right in front of the ropes, and he’s able to reach his left arm out and grab the top, easily breaking the hold. Danny backs off again, but the two lunge in for a grapple…and this time Matthews drops down and scissors his legs around Williams’ ankle, bringing him down with a drop toe hold that causes his face to smack against the second turnbuckle! With Deathwish down, Charlie quickly moves to the middle of the ring and then charges at the turnbuckle, looking to knee Danny in the back of the head…but he moves out of the way! Grappler senses this and sticks his arms out, stopping himself against the corner. While Danny advances, Matthews shoots his leg back, catching him in the midsection, and then turns around, grabbing Williams around the waist! With one quick turn, the champion lifts Danny up and spins around, taking him down to the mat with his own belly to belly suplex! “Danny Williams gets a taste of his own medicine!” Comet announces. “Is that what I think it is?” Duran asks, “why, yes, that is Charlie Matthews getting an offensive maneuver in during this match! I didn’t think it was possible!” “You know how slow he is,” Riley adds, “…in more ways than one. It just takes him awhile to pick things up.” Instead of pinning Williams, Grappler rises to his feet and bends his right elbow, dropping back down with an elbow drop across the sternum of Deathwish! However, just as the move is hit, Danny takes hold of the arm and bends it backwards, executing an armbar! The Joe Louis Arena fans explode as Matthews frantically reaches for the ropes…and gets them! Williams again releases the hold and backs off, allowing Charlie to get up. When he does, the two men begin circling each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. Finally, after no move is made, the champion takes the initiative and lunges forward, only to have Danny Williams sidestep it! As Matthews turns back around to meet the former champion, Deathwish cocks his arm back and FIRES, drilling Charlie in the side of the head with an elbow smash! Grappler’s head rocks back as he falls against the turnbuckle, and Danny unleashes a SECOND elbow! The champion looks completely out of it as Danny pulls him out of the corner and traps him in a headlock, before grabbing his tights and hoisting the 300-pounder over his head, and down to the mat with a vertical suplex! Williams again reaches over and covers Matthews, this time hooking a leg as Soapdish counts! “ONE!” “TWO!” SHOULDER UP! Grappler is able to shake the cobwebs out of his head and lift his shoulder up, before rolling away from Deathwish and towards the ropes. “This is just pathetic,” Duran notes, “I’m practically embarrassed to watch this match.” “Well, Citizen Duran,” Comet replies, “how well-versed are you, exactly, against Charlie Matthews? If I recall-“ “I’ve kicked his ass like fifty times! Did you not just see Smarkdown? What about-“ “I’m talking about singles matches! If I recall correctly, you’ve never defeated Citizen Matthews!” “He’s made that well documented, Comet,” Riley states, “but that doesn’t mean he can’t beat him. A lot has changed since that dreary May fight for the SJL European Championship.” Grappler brings himself up to his feet and again advances towards Williams. Deathwish quickly swings his arm again, looking to incapacitate him with anther elbow smash, but this time, Matthews is able to catch the arm, before pulling it in and swinging his left arm around, nailing Danny under the chin with a short arm clothesline that takes him down to the mat! “GRA – PULL – ER!” “GRA – PULL – ER!” The fans finally start to come alive for the Champion, cheering him on as he backs against the ropes to catch his breath. He doesn’t do this for long, though, as he picks Danny up by the head to try and maintain his momentum. He wraps his arm around Danny’s head in a front facelock position and turns around, standing back to back with Williams with his head on his shoulder. As the champion prepares to drop down for a neckbreaker, Williams is able to step forward and shoot his leg back with a mule kick that ends up around Grappler’s buttocks area! Shaken by the hilarious blow, Matthews stumbles forward, towards the ropes. Danny, meanwhile, charges at the opposite ropes and hits them, coming towards Grappler at full force before leaping into the air, swinging his elbow around for a jumping elbow smash…but Charlie takes hold of Danny in mid air and drops him down throat-first across the top rope! As Danny staggers backwards, trying to catch his breath, Grappler again stands back to back with him and takes hold of his head, dropping down into a seated position and introducing Danny’s neck to his shoulder in vicious fashion! ”Good lord!” Comet exclaims, “that was a vicious neckbreaker by Citizen Matthews if I’ve ever seen one! Citizen Williams’ neck may be seriously wounded after that!” “I’ve taken the move before, Comet,” Duran chimes in, “nothing to worry about. It’s pussified, like the majority of his moveset.” “Then tell me, Citizen Duran, how come you couldn’t overcome his – pardon the expression – pussified moveset back in the SJL?” “Those were different circumstances,” Riley again speaks for Duran, “completely different circumstances. Besides, Grappler’s just a shell of his former self right now.” Matthews rolls Williams over onto his back and covers him, tightly hooking a leg as Nick Soapdish counts the first pin for Charlie in the match! “ONE!” “TWO!” SHOULDER UP! Danny gets his shoulder up from the pin and rolls onto his stomach, nursing the back of his neck. Matthews stays on him, however, pulling him up to his feet by the head. He remains behind Williams and ducks under his arm, taking hold of him and lifting him up into the air diagonally for a back suplex…but Danny is able to flip out of it and land on his feet behind the champion! Deathwish quickly leaps up into the air and kicks his legs out, nailing Charlie in the back of the neck with a high dropkick that pushes him against the ropes! Matthews turns around, dazed, as Danny charges at the opposite ropes and builds momentum, bending his elbow back and swinging it around with ANOTHER elbow smash that sends Grappler all the way over the top rope and down to the floor! The Detroit fans roar as Matthews hits the floor, holding his head in pain. However, he’s able to use the nearby guardrail to pull himself up. Just as he does, though, Williams, from the middle of the ring, charges at Matthews and leaps OVER the top rope, coming down with his elbow bent and nailing Grappler right in the head with the ELBOW SUICIDA that crushes him down to the floor! “DAN – E!” “DAN – E!” “DAN – E!” “THE ELBOW SUICIDA!” Comet proclaims, “what a magnificent move! Grappler may be knocked out cold!” “It may be a nice move,” Riley adds, “but it certainly wasn’t smart. That took a hell of a lot out of both men, and they might end up both getting counted out!” Just as Riley mentions the possible situation, Nick Soapdish begins his obligatory ten count! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” Danny is the first one to show signs of life, as he rolls off of Matthews, who is propped against the guardrail. His head obviously took a nasty bump onto the steel from the move. “FOUR!” “FIVE!” Williams gets on all fours…and then on his knees, and finally up to his feet. “SIX!” Warily, Danny rolls under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Matthews, meanwhile, finally starts to move, onto his knees. “SEVEN!” “This is too funny,” Duran laughs, “I mean, he’s obviously faking this just to be counted out and not take the fall. Anyone would be up from that move by now.” “EIGHT!” Grappler rises up to his feet at last, albeit leaning against the guardrail for support. “NINE!” When Matthews hears what count it is, he uses all of his energy to throw himself forward against the apron…and under the bottom rope, reentering the ring! Danny Williams stays right on him, however, rolling him onto his back and covering the still-dazed Champion! “ONE!” “TWO!” AND A KICKOUT! Grappler gets his shoulder up with effort, and Williams brings him back to his feet. He traps the champion in a front facelock, holding onto his tights…but no, Charlie uses sends three left fists into Danny’s ribs, breaking the suplex attempt! With Danny stunned, Matthews wraps his arms around his waist and lifts Deathwish into the air, dropping him down crotch-first against his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Grappler is too tired to capitalize, however, as he drops right down to a knee, exhausted. Williams is able to shake the move off and advance forward, but Charlie springs to life, albeit only to reach out and sweep Danny’s legs out with a double leg takedown and fold his legs over his body with a DEEP cover that Nick Soapdish counts! “ONE!” “TWO!” SHOULDER UP! Danny immediately rolls through from the cover and gets to his feet, Matthews doing the same. Williams charges forward, looking to capitalize on Grappler’s wary state by spinning around and swinging his arm for the ROLLING ELBOW…but Charlie sidesteps it! Williams’ momentum carries him to the ropes, which he rebounds off of, only to have Matthews catch him with an arm around the neck and a leg sweep, driving him down to the mat with a quick STO! “Citizen Matthews just solidified his advantage,” Comet states, “by stopping the momentum of Citizen Williams COLD with that STO!” “I don’t think solidified is the right word,” Duran replies, “after all, if I know Grappler, and I do, he’s going to lose this advantage quite quickly. He’s a choker like that.” With Williams down, Grappler sits him up and wraps his left arm around his neck, while using his right hand to press against Danny’s forehead, executing a doushime sleeper hold! “LET’S – GO – DAN – E!” *clap – clap – clap-clap-clap* “LET’S – GO – DAN – E!” *clap – clap – clap-clap-clap* The fans are quick to chant for Deathwish, hoping to fuel his fire and get him out of the sleeper hold. Danny himself tries to fight the move, but his actions become less and less frequent as the hold is applied longer. Danny’s head simply slumps down, as he looks completely out. Matthews tells Nick Soapdish to check for the submission, and the referee obliges. He lifts the arm up once… …and it drops! The arm goes up a second time… …it falls again! Williams’ arm is raised for the third and final time… …it goes down… …down… …and it hits the mat! That NEVER happens in wrestling! Charlie Matthews wins by submission knockout! Just kidding. Of course, Williams arm DOESN’T hit the canvas, and the Joe comes alive as Williams begins VIBRATING~ with an adrenaline rush! He moves his body and turns, getting up to his knees! Grappler rises to his feet to try and keep a leverage advantage, but Danny gets up to his feet as well, and again sends three elbows into Grappler’s midsection! Charlie lets go of the hold as Danny runs to the ropes, gaining momentum for a big move- *BOOM!* -but it’s stopped, as Matthews jumps into the air and pumps his legs around, nailing Danny right in the face with a HUGE bicycle kick! Williams falls to the mat, stunned, and Grappler drops down to hook a leg for the cover! “ONE!” “TWO!” “T – NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Williams gets a shoulder up just in time, and Matthews begins to show signs of frustration! “Our World Champion may be frustrated,” Comet begins, “but he’d better snap out of it. He just started getting on the advantage, and he can’t expect to keep an athlete like Citizen Williams down after that brief spurt of offense.” “An athlete?” Duran questions, “more like a drug abuser. I can’t believe we haven’t seen Danny either fold up from exhaustion or go through an intense roid rage yet. That’s bound to happen sooner of later.” “And I thought I was the only one who thought that,” laughs Riley, “say, Comet, you think we could arrange to get Duran sitting in with us every night? This is a lot of fun!” “After I win the title, then we’ll talk,” Duran smiles. Grappler brings Danny up to his feet and takes him by the arm, whipping him into the corner. Without hesitation, Matthews charges forward and then leaps up, bringing all of his 300 pounds crashing down on top of his opponent with a big stinger splash! As Danny stumbles out of the corner, Grappler scoops him up and pivots around, slamming him down to the mat with a quick powerslam! However, as soon as the move connects, Charlie cries out in pain, holding his right arm! As the effects from earlier in the match start to wear in, Matthews is unable to capitalize on the powerslam, and Danny slowly gets back to his feet on his own accord. Matthews tries to stop him with a left cross, but Danny blocks it and grabs a hold of his right arm, turning around and pressing it against his shoulder, using the momentum to flip Grappler over onto the mat with a judo throw! Williams keeps a hold on Matthews’ arm, which keeps the champion up in a sitting position. Danny then proceeds to lift his leg up, hitting a NASTY kick against Grappler’s arm! *SMACK!* The Detroit crowd “ooh”s at the sound of the move, and the pain on Grappler’s face. Williams backs up again…and unleashes ANOTHER kick on the arm! After this, Danny bends his arm…and drives the tip of it down against Matthews’ bicep, crushing it with an elbow! “What FORCE!” Comet cries, “what sickening force! Those blows will do a lot more than just tighten up Citizen Matthews’ arm muscles.” “Thank you for that comment,” Riley replies, “Anyway, I haven’t seen such ingenuity from Danny Williams in a long time; I guess he deserves some kind of kudos.” “I wonder,” Duran begins, “if he could keep doing those until Grappler’s arm broke. It probably wouldn’t take too long, and it’d be really, really convenient.” Instead of going for the cover, Williams pulls the arm back and traps it in an armbar, before wrapping his other arm around Matthews’ neck and surprising the champion with the BUFFALO SLEEPER HOLD! The crowd roars as the move is again applied out of nowhere, this time with Matthews away from the ropes! “DAN – E!” “DAN – E!” The pain running through Matthews’ arm is excruciating, but he can’t even supply much oxygen to it, as the rear chinlock is cutting off the air flow to the rest of his body! “And just like that,” Comet starts, “this match could be over! As I’ve said, the Buffalo Sleeper is deadly, and with all the work done on Matthews’ arm, we could see a submission!” “It’d actually be in Matthews’ best interests to tap out,” Riley points out, “after all, this is non-title, and he’s going to need all the feeling in his arm he can get when he goes up against Johnny here at Battleground.” “Whether his arm is broken or not, I’ll still rip it off and beat him with it,” Duran says sadistically (and a bit unrealistically, but who’s counting?). Matthews is fading fast, but even with all the support for Williams, many of the Motor City fans begin chanting for the champion! “GRA – PULL – ER!” “DAN – E!” “GRA – PULL – ER!” The very split crowd cheers for both men, but Grappler shows no signs of life as the Buffalo Sleeper is executed to perfection by Deathwish Danny Williams. Finally, Soapdish goes to check on Matthews, just as he did before with Danny, raising his left arm up into the air for the submission! It drops for the first time! The arm is raised again… …and again, it falls to the mat! It goes up for the third time… “GRA – PULL – ER!” The chants for Matthews reach their peak, and it’s as if this triggers something deep inside of the monster, as he DOESN’T let his arm fall for the third time! Though his breath is short and his arm is short of snapping, Matthews uses his left arm to start pushing off the mat, and he gets onto his knees! Williams rises to his feet and uses this leverage to keep the champ on his knees, but, using his head, Grappler sends his left arm back and wraps it around Danny’s left leg, pulling hard enough to sweep the leg back, causing Williams to fall backwards with Charlie right on top, in a pinning predicament! “ONE!” ”TWO!’ “THREEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Danny kicks out just in time, forced to release the hold to get his shoulder up! “Smart counter wrestling by Charlie Matthews!” Comet commends, “he knew that if Williams was in a pinning predicament, he’d have to let go of the Buffalo Sleeper to kick out!” “But it’s too late, Comet!” Riley replies, “Charlie’s arm is DESTROYED, and he ain’t bouncing back from anything now!” Grappler rolls off of Danny right into the corner, nursing his arm and catching his wind. Williams, meanwhile, is as pissed as a Belgian waffle (believe me, they get pretty pissed), kicking the ropes and shouting at Nick Soapdish. Nevertheless, he walks over to the corner and draws Matthews out of it, standing behind him and again wrapping his arm around his neck, pulling the arm back…but no! Grappler is able to spin out of the Buffalo sleeper and stand behind Danny, ducking under his left arm and lifting him into the air diagonally, before falling back and DRILLING Deathwish with his own BACKDROP DRIVER! “Hey, neck snapping works!” Duran muses, looking for anything that could possibly end either man’s career. Williams folds over from impact, but Grappler slowly crawls over to him and rolls him over, falling on top for a pin as Nick Soapdish counts! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!” NO! WILLIAMS GETS THE SHOULDER UP AT 2.999! The Joe crowd is almost (almost) in SHOCK over the kick out, and cheer vociferously! Charlie, meanwhile, rises and pulls Danny up with his left arm, before trapping him in a front facelock and signaling for the MOST devastating alarm clock in SWF history, THE WAKE UP CALL! With his right arm he reaches down and grabs Williams’ tights, before lifting…no, his right arm gives out! Grappler cries out as he shakes some feeling back into his tentacle (okay, bad metaphor), but Williams uses this time to duck behind Charlie and wrap his arms around him in a waistlock, before using all of his strength to arch back and send the champion up and over with a DANGEROUS RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” “Oooooooooooooh!” Comet agrees with the fans, “what a SICKENING suplex by Citizen Williams! Charlie Matthews is folded like an accordion!” “That almost made me a fan of Danny Williams,” Duran notes, “…well, okay, not really, but I appreciate his gratuitous head dropping skills.” Williams crawls over to Matthews, and lands on top of him, hooking his leg for Nick Soapdish, and the Joe Louis Arena fans to count the pin! “ONE!” ”TWO!” “THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” He got him! No he didn’t! Matthews BARELY, and I mean BARELY gets the shoulder up! That shoulder was so BARELY, one could mistaken it for BARLEY! Williams’ eyes can be likened to saucers, as he is in shock over the transpired events. Still, he gets to a vertical base and moves to the opposite corner of Matthews, shouting at him to get to his feet! The champion is slow, very slow to get up, but he uses the turnbuckle to expedite the process. When Grappler gets to his feet, Deathwish lets out a battle cry, and he charges across the ring towards Matthews! Three quarters across the ring he LEAPS into the air, swinging his bent arm around for the DAMNDEST jumping elbow smash anyone has ever seen…but CHARLIE SIDESTEPS IT! Williams crashes against the turnbuckle, and with his opponent literally on the ropes, Grappler ducks under his left arm and, using only strength from HIS left arm, the champion lifts Danny up, twists around, and drops to his knees, dropping Williams down ON HIS NECK with a KNEELING BLUE THUNDER POWERBOMB! “Merciful Zeus!” Comet proclaims, “that was absolutely SICKENING, and DEADLY! Danny Williams may be knocked out cold!” “Damn it,” mutters Duran, “what happened to his arm snapping?” Grappler holds onto the pin as Nick Soapdish, and the entire Detroit crowd counts along with the pin! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Williams kicks out! …but it’s too late! *DING DING DING!* The crowd EXPLODES as “Some Kind of Monster” kicks in again, and Funyon makes the official announcement! “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST, THE S – W – F HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, CHAAAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” Duran throws down his headset in frustration, as Matthews rolls off of Williams and onto his back. Danny himself is unmoving on the mat. ”What a MATCH!” Comet exclaims, “and what a victory for Charlie Matthews, defeating the veteran Williams with a move that one would expect from Deathwish!” “This is ridiculous,” Riley adds, “I mean, it’s bad enough seeing two guys I *hate* fight it out, but to see, of all people, GRAPPLER get the win…someone, get me a bucket.” Nick Soapdish walks over to pick Matthews’ World Championship belt out of the corner…but it’s snatched away by John Duran! The fans begin jeering mercilessly as the Notorious One slides under the bottom rope and enters the ring, World Title belt in hand. Matthews’ finally gets to his feet, and as he does, John charges and swings the belt, nailing Grappler right in the forehead with the twenty pounds of gold! *CRAAAACK!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Grappler collapses to the mat, and Duran simply raises the World Title belt above his head, showing it to everyone in the Joe Louis Arena. “My GOD!” Comet cries, “Duran almost decapitated Citizen Matthews with that belt shot! Could this be an omen? Could we have a new World Champion at Battleground?” “Of course we will, Comet! John Duran, the future of the SWF, the leader of the Unnamed, and the man who will utterly DESTROY Charlie Matthews at Battleground! Folks, enjoy that image, for Cyclone Comet, I’m Bobby Riley, and bow down to the Unnamed!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The SWF © 2004 Noble Gas Productions “Raising workrate by typing faster just hours before the deadline.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But it WILL do air guitar!

I went through 4 Kleenex just watching that video.

Happy Birthday Strangler!

Yeah, Spin the Bottle was on Fox last weekend, and I loved that ep, too.

Sly's promo at the end was great, but I have a question about it; I know it's a detriment against Zack's character, but was it really *that* bad? The announcers were making it sound like Sly was desecrating the body of Christ on the air.

Okay, after seeing Apocalypse, Nowish, Habeas Corpses, and Long Day's Journey, I finally see what all the verbal fellatio of THE BEAST~ is all about. That thing is fucking AWESOME. The fight in AN just rocks. And, wow, Gwen is hot. This season can't come out on DVD soon enough.

Today I picked up Matrix Revolutions and Schindler's List. I love actually having money to spend.

!! 1) The Hart Foundation and 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers and Dino Bravo, 2 out of 3 Falls Match (WWF Royal Rumble 1989)

This is where I'm getting them from. They aren't done, but they'd *better* be clear, considering they're 300+ MB/episode.

Thank heavenly bittorrent for providing crystal clear DVD rips from Angel season 4. In 12 hours, Apocalypse Nowish, Habeas Corpses, and Long Day's Journey will be mine~

School of Rock - 8/10 Another movie I went into cold, and came out really enjoying it.

YES~

The Rundown - 8/10 Just a really fun movie. I went in not expecting much, and had a great time watching it. The Rock is awesome and Scott was perfectly acceptable.