Dr. Zoidberg

In honor of her concert on May 21st, here are my Top 5 M.I.A. songs: 5. Sunshowers (Arular) 4. XR2 (Kala) 3. Bucky Done Gun (Arular) 2. Galang (Arular) 1. Pull Up The People/10 Dollar (Arular) Yeah. As you can see, I've only really ever listened to Arular all the way through.

I just bought that Vampire Weekend album. Lame, is all I can say.

There was this kid in Arizona (which, by the way, is the lamest state in the fucking union) who would occupy this teen hangout center thing that my buddy and I would hang at when I'd go and visit. Anyway, everytime we played Halo, this fucking kid would come over, TURN OFF THE CONSOLE, laugh, and go stand in the corner, waiting for us to do something. Keep in mind, he's 16 at this time, and we're 19, so legally, we can't do anything. That kid was a piece of shit.

THANK YOU!! Gotta defend the wife.

People just suck. Am I right?

Who? The kids who smoke? Anyway, a new thing that pisses me off: This kid in my Cultural Geography class who annoys the ever-loving shit out of me. He draws robot skeletons with swords and thinks I'm lame for not thinking they're awesome. He dresses like he's fucking sponsored by Abercrombie. He never shuts the fuck up. He said there should be genocide in India TWO days after I told him my wife is Indian. He looks like a date rapist, and he talks like a dude-bro asshole cunt with his stupid surfer drawl. I hate that fucker. Next stupid thing he says, I'm gonna drag him by his stupid popped collar outside, and beat the shit out of his stupid face. Yeah. Fuck Him.

On an unrelated note that popped up in my head when I read this: The dude who sits next to me in Cultural Geography thought I was an idiot for not seeing/wanting to see Silent Hill, and rolled his eyes when I said my new favorite movie is There Will Be Blood, which he said was "too fuckin' boring, bro." Something tells me that guy votes for these nominees and gets bummed when his picks don't win. Yeah. IIIII guess that's it.

This season, i'm kinda hating Michael, to be honest. In previous seasons, he was more "Oh Jesus, did he say that?" with sprinkles of being a dick, but this season, he's just a self-centered asshole. And Andy? The BEST character ever. The lotion in the gloves was classic.

Is it for Mac?

It was that sim wrestling thing where you acted as the owner? You booked matches, dealt with salaries, all that stuff? The match reviews were written by Scott Keith? Does anyone remember what I'm talking about?

Shiiiiiiit, I dunno about you, but I get plenty of awesomeness from ONE gender. Well...I guess not as much as i'd like. I AM married. *rim shot* Yeeeeeah. But seriously, all the Bi people I know are annoying about it, like "I'm Bi! DEAL with it! I wanna fuck you! No?! You don't want that?! Homophobe! I'm BI!!! BIIIII!!!" Of course, I come from a town that voted to expand the wrestling and football programs with the excess 5 MILLION than build a skatepark for 500,000...so...Lot of "Daddy" issues.

And thank God, you did, my friend... Thank God, you did.

Sure?

FOUR Days!?! Shit, I was born in, like, 16 hours or something. and HA! Jim Bob. Why do hicks always name their kids with same letter names? Bastards. Actually, I guess they're not. They'll WISH they were.

The only lesbian celeb sex tape I saw was Chyna's.

What sucks is when you're like "I'm gonna stay up all day so I'm tired tonight," and then you're STILL up all night, so you're like, "Fuck...I suck." THAT sucks.

I'm a fan of anything Indie, really. Morrissey became more popular? I hate him now. And I have no doubt it'll be a good-ish fight, but a dude can speculate, right? and what movie is your avatar from?

I know three people from Wisconsin and two of them are nuts. One fucking buried a chicken up to its next and set it on fire. What the fuck?!

If any state should be split in two, it's California. Northern California and Southern California are like apples and oranges. Plus, Southern California can go fuck itself. Especially Ventura.

I just don't like Kimbo. Well, i don't like him anymore.

Is there a sextape?! Don't lie to me! Don't lie!! That would be amazing, though.

I can't smoke the ganja cos it gives me panic attacks. That sucks, especially since I used to love that shit. Best writing i've ever done was on the purple sticky icky. Anyway, to sleep, my doc prescribed Ambien. I felt it immediately the first time I took it and fell asleep playing Bully in my living room. It was pretty funny. So yeah, keep at it. Insomnia is a cunt.

Strikeforce? Wait... Ohhhh, I get it. I'm dumb. I always thought the shows name was "Elite XC: Strikeforce" Well...Never mind then.

OH MY GAWD, ME TOOOO!! actually, it's an Accord. Just keepin the conversation alive. And why is it better to have sex with boys AND girls? Just sounds like you're greedy.

It's all right. Add butter and it's the shit, yo. But yeah, fuck baby corn.