CanadianChick

Well, wasn't she making $100,000 with WWE? She obviously couldn't handle that with what she said in her interviews, so you never know.

Even if Jillian Hall was good in the ring (I'm really not sure if she is), it doesn't matter if she's having a 5 minute match with Melina, which will be more about rolling around than, you know, wrestling.

Bunch of bastards, the lot of ya.

I'm a bit sad I missed teh finaled, despite not watching at all this season. I'm glad Eric came back though.

I guess this means that Crystal vs. The Marv is the main event.

COLE Welcome back, and we all hope you’re enjoying the show so far! Tonight, our main event is… “EXCUSE ME!” The camera pans to the entrance way as the fans’ jeers get louder as everyone recognizes the voice. “I DEMAND your attention!” The fans continue booing as CRYSTAL, with the big man GUNNER SHARPS, makes her way to the ring with a microphone in hand. CABOOSE Oh boy… CRYSTAL Do you people not realize that you are living a moment in history? You people get to hear the first real interview from the greatest female wrestler in OAOAST history in about 4 months! COLE That’s debatable…we’ve had many great female wrestlers in OAOAST. COACH Puh-leeze Cole! Mah baby gurl is the only female OAOAST Heavyweight Champion! No competition. CRYSTAL The honour of interviewing my re-debut can only go to one person. Only one person can handle such a task, and only one person deserves this opportunity! COLE I had no idea Crystal feels so highly about one of our colleagues… CRYSTAL And that person is…GUNNER SHARPS! COLE …nevermind. The fans are madly jeering already, and the “interview” hasn’t even started yet. GUNNER So Ms. Crystal Adams, where have you been during your much needed break and why come back now? CRYSTAL A much needed break it was! See, running off the women’s division was tough work. I had to pull many a string to get those wannabes deserted in HI-OH, or whatever that shit-hole federation is called in Japan. Instead of stepping in my spotlight, little Jenny is rotting away in Japan. Have fun being a big fish in a very, very small fishbowl Jenny! I wish I could take credit for that skank Alix and that tight ass, supposed liberated feminist Krista but hey, that was just good timing. Now who’s the only dominant female that is not whoring themselves out of the ring for a man? GUNNER Why, I believe that is you Crystal! CRYSTAL Right you are! There is truly only room for one timeless female talent, and that certainly doesn’t include a division of wannabes and a comedy tag team. Crystal will be the dominant female on HeldDown until the day I retire. GUNNER Why go after the 24/7 Title? CRYSTAL What better way to make an impact? There’s nothing like gold to have people take notice. See, I don’t need to be the “hardest worker”. In my younger days, I did because I felt that was the only way to get noticed. But in my wiser age now? I’ll leave the hard work to the Zack Malibus, Leon Rodezs and all of them. All I need is my brain, and let me tell you Gunner, it’s a valuable tool. While all the idiots are working oh-so very hard to gain the approval of you idiots… “BOOOO!” CRYSTAL …and to gain gold, I just have to have a perfect plan and BAM! I’m a champion. Now Gunner, let me ask you a question, one you have been asked all week! Why be the body guard of the Crown Jewel of OAOAST? GUNNER Well Crystal, it’s quite simple. I’ve been ignored long enough, and an old friend of mine, who just happens to be the most talented wrestler in the wrestling world today, offered me a way back, and a nice sum of money later, she had herself a deal. As long as I’m around Crystal, no one will get their hands on that 24/7 title around your waist. CRYSTAL Gunner, you flatter me so much! Okay then, let’s bring out the first challenger for my precious 24/7 Title. And Gunner will be here at ringside to make sure there is no funny business. COLE Yeah, I’m so sure that’s what he’s there for… COACH Oh the lack of faith you have Cole! CUE: “Temperature” by Sean Paul “YEAHHHH!” There is no fancy pyro for The Marv today, and he looks cautious coming down to the ring. Well, wouldn’t you be with Gunner right there? BUFFER Now residing in Laguna Beach, California, he weighs in at 185 pounds, he is THE MARV of the SK8TER BOIZ! “MARV! MARV! MARV!” BUFFER And his opponent, being seconded by Gunner Sharps, residing in Coquitlam, B.C., she weighs in at 155 pounds, she is the 24/7 Champion and the claimed Crowned Jewel of the OAOAST, she is CRYSTAL! DING! DING! DING! COLE Now, here’s a test for Crystal. She hasn’t been in the ring since Feburary, and The Marv is not someone to be taken lightly. He’s a bit stronger than Crystal and is just as fast, if not faster. But, Crystal does have a nearly unmatched technique and has the muscle of Gunner Sharps behind her. The two competitors circle each other and go for the ‘ol collar-and-elbow lockup and The Marv gets an advantage and gets a wristlock on Crystal. Crystal reverses with a tested and true roll through and kip up, which the Marv nearly immediately reverses with a neat handspring reversal and has Crystal in a hammerlock. Crystal struggles for a minute before reversing with a drop toe hold and rolls to lock on an armbar. The Marv stands up in it, forcing Crystal up to, and performs a beautiful armdrag! Before he can capitalize, she is on the ropes, telling him to back off. CRYSTAL STOP CHEATING! This is suppose to be a CLEAN fight! Rolling his eyes, the Marv backs up. Crystal gets away from the ropes and beckons for Marv to lock up again. When Marv goes for it, Crystal ducks him and goes straight into a waistlock, complete with a waistlock takedown. She cinches on a headlock, which Marv muscles his way up on his feet with on. He grabs her wrist and reverses into a top wristlock and tries to muscle Crystal down to a bridge. However, being the sneaky little you know what that she is, Crystal prevents it from pulling his luscious locks and putting him flat on his back. However, she makes the mistake of gloating to the jeering crowd and doesn’t have time to react as the Marv scissors his legs around Crystal’s head and performing a lightning quick headscissors! The momentum rolls Crystal out of the ring and into the, erm, comforting arms of Gunner. The Marv goes to go after his competitor to win the 24/7 Title, but the ref prevents it. CRYSTAL BACK OFF PUNK! Crystal whispers something in Gunner’s year before getting back in the ring and getting in Marv’s face. She pushes him and hammers him with a hard forearm! He comes back with a big punch of his own! Crystal looks shocked and gets back in his face with a finger pointed. CRYSTAL YOU JUST HIT A GIRL! *SLAP!* “Ohhhhh!” COLE Crystal just slapped the taste out of Marv’s mouth! CABOOSE Get her! Crystal grabs the ref and puts him in between her and a now enraged Marv before shoving him into Marv and sprinting out of the ring. Before Marv can chase her, Gunner is up on the apron talking trash to Marv and preventing him from going past him. Gunner distracts him long enough for Crystal to sneak behind Marv. Marv turns around into a vicious clothesline! COLE Give the devil her due, but Crystal, for someone her size, throws a hell of a clothesline. When you have the technique she does, it’s almost as good as having brute strength. Crystal slowly brings up Marv and connects with some vicious knees to the face! She then sends him to the ropes and connects with a back elbow to the jaw. She goes for the pin, but only gets a one count. After scolding the referee to count faster, she sends the Marv to the corner and runs after him, connecting with a hard flying forearm. The Marv slumps the ground and Crystal nonchalantly chokes him with her boot. At the four, Crystal lets go, before giving a b-r-utal knee to the face before choking him for another 4 seconds. COACH This is what Crystal was talking about earlier. She’s being smart! Instead of expending a whole lot of energy, she’s wearing her opponent down with a simple foot to the throat. Brilliant! CABOOSE Yeah, no one has EVER thought of that one before. Crystal drags Marv up by the hair and signals for one more time and whips Marv to the opposite corner, but he reverses and Crystal goes crashing chest first into the turnbuckle, stumbling back to a rollup. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal gets up right away and goes for a clothesline, but Marv ducks and pins her in a backslide! 1! 2! Kickout! Both get up at the same time, and Marv goes to grab Crystal, but she uses her nails and attempts to scratch his eyes out. As he’s holding his face in pain, Crystal runs the ropes and connects with a straight kick in the head! He stumbles down on his ass, and Crystal picks him back up, wrings his arm, and does a picture perfect Northern Lights Suplex! 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal looks slightly annoyed with the 2 count, but prevents herself from complaining and picks Marv up, only to snapmare him back down. She grabs his shoulders and does 5 quick knees to his back in succession. Crystal runs the ropes and Marv gets a dropkick to the back! Crystal throws him on his back and covers. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal now is looking a little more annoyed and yells at the ref and bit before picking Marv back up and whipping him to ropes, going for a spinning heel kick. Marv ducks and comes back from the second rope with a cross body! 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal stumbles up as Marv gives some solid punches before going back and running towards Crystal, but Crystal sees it coming and launches him over the top rope she’s near. But Marv lands on the apron and turns Crystal around to punch her some more. When she is good and dazed, Marv holds on to the top rope and with the leverage, does a modified pele kick! Crystal stumbles back the middle of the ring and Marv springboards from the top rope and rolls over Crystal and has Crystal trapped in a sunset flip! 1! 2! Kickout! Gunner nearly cries in relief as Crystal barely kicks out of the pin. He decides that action needs to be taken as Marv runs the ropes, and trips the Sk8er Boi up. Marv gets right back up and kicks Gunner in the face through the first and second rope. But he made the carnal mistake of turning his back on Crystal, who takes advantage of the situation once more a delivers a soon to be renamed Edge-o-matic! COACH That move BETTER be renamed! I just said that Coach! Geesh. Anyways, instead of going for the cover Crystal poses for her fans (who are showering with chants of “CRYSTAL SUCKS!”) and in a very cocky matter, drags up Marv and hooks him up in a front face lock and screams “IT’S OVER!”. COACH She’s going for the Newton’s Law! COLE Newton’s Law, which is also known as the OrangeCrusher, isn’t a move Crystal goes for often. CABOOSE But Marv still outweighs her, even if it isn’t by that much. Crystal lifts up Marv with ease, looking to finish the match, only for Marv to slip behind her and give her an inverted DDT and knock them both down! COLE What a reversal! Whoever gets up first has a distinct advantage here! COACH C’mon Crystal!!! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! Both Marv and Crystal are stirring… 7! Crystal is up… 8! And so is the Marv! Crystal charges Marv for a clothesline, but he ducks! She rebounds off the ropes only to be met with a textbook leg lariat! She stumbles up to a kick in the gut and snap suplex! The Marv keeps the front face lock, runs towards the corner, and takes Crystal down once more with a tornado DDT! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! Not discouraged, Marv picks up Crystal, only to be met with a cheap poke in the eye by Crystal! She then runs the ropes and performs a tilt-a-whirl head scissors…only for it to be turned into a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb by the one and only Marv! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! COACH That was way too fast counting! CABOOSE Aw Coach, you’re just upset that your girl underestimated Marv! Marv signals that it is indeed the end, as he sets up for the G-Spot Jiggy, but Crystal elbows her way out of it and gives a hard boot in the gut followed by a snappy fisherman suplex! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! Crystal, irate, yells at the referee to “graduate from Grade 1 and learn to count to three” and ascends the top rope to goes for…who knows what. COLE She could be going for anything here, as Crystal knows her way in the air. Instead of going for something right away, she takes her time, which proves to be her down fall as Marv sprints up to meet her day and knock her down in a sitting position. He jumps up and hits a hurricanarana…only to have Crystal not go down with him because Gunner was holding onto her! Marv lies limply on the mat as Crystal quickly shakes the cobwebs and hits her long time move, the Diamond in the Rough! 1! 2! 3! DING! DING! DING! BUFFER And your winner, and still the 24/7 champion…CRYSTAL! “BOOO!” COLE If it wasn’t for that damn Gunner, The Marv could have very well won that title! COACH But what did Crystal say earlier? It’s all about the brains baby! Gunner hoists Crystal up on his shoulder, reminiscing of Liz and Savage, except much less romantic and much less touching. We fade to commercial on a close up of the 24/7 Title and a smirking Crystal.

Match just signed: The Marv vs. Crystal for the 24/7 Title.

We had a strict rule in high school that no cell phones, or anyother electronics, were allowed during exams. It really isn't hard to compromise on cell phones. I think the extreme opinion either way is too much. No, students should have their cell phones on during class time with them, but not allowed at all to have them at school? That's going a bit far.

You're such a tool WP. And not because you don't smoke pot. On the rare day I get stoned, I prefer fast food. The fries taste so much better.

Crystal speaks. A lot. To the point where you just want to smack her. But you don't because you know that Gunner will kill you. And Crystal will spit on you and kill you some more. Don't mess with them.

You don't say, a division where everyone wants the title. That is totally refreshing. Again, props to the tag team division writers. Good match with subtle references to Christian and Bohemoth tension and the more apparent story of the Heavenly Rockers being hurt and the heels taking full advantage. Whoa, good show for Bohemoth to officially turn face. This should be a really good (and I'm assuming long) feud. Looking forward to it. Mackenzie is a bitch. That's all I got without commenting on my own stuff. Poor Heavenly Rockers. Getting their asses kicked left and right. Again, I love how every team is after them. Very cool and refreshing, as said earlier. I'll comment on the main event later.

I'm really glad I'm not the only one who frequently gets The Final Countdown stuck in their head... Anywho, today was all about Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Good song.

Jerk, even if I were to agree with you that cell phones should absolutely not be allowed in school (though I don't, because if every misc. call were to be done at the office, that'd be insane. I don't know about you, but I used that school pay phone rather than use hte office's phone to phone my parents because the office would pretty well tell me to fuck off if I said I needed it to tell my parents my practice was going longer, etc. etc.), it is completely unrealistic to expect kids not to have cell phones at school. Rather than ban them outright, I don't think asking kids to keep their cells in their lockers during class is unfair on either side. Banning something outright that isn't a danger to the school never works because teens are rebellious by nature. You, of all people as a teacher, should know that.

Not every call that you have to make is an emergency though. I call bullshit on not allowing cell phones period. Now, not allowing them in class, that's a different story. Leave them in your locker during class, and discreetly use them if need be in between class. That's what we did at my high school, and it worked out fine. I-Pods and that kind of shit is more of a problem than cell phones, distraction wise. Shit, half the kids in my class in high school would listen to music during class. Hardly anyone was texting people.

Cool return to start out the show, and with a better tag name too! I kinda like how a lot of the tag teams are over the top characters/gimmicks, yet it doesn't seem overtly corny. Good job tag writers. Fun tag match between the Blonds and NRG...though I was really surprised with the finish. A Thesz Press? That's a bit of a meh finish. Tee hee hee...Dama. Oh geez. Some jokes never die. Good recap of the Knight/Alfdogg feud, as I haven't been up to date with my OAOAST readings, and we all know everyone writes for me Whoa, someone had some fun writing that Shago/Predator match. MUCH different pace than the other matches. I really love how the writers of an E-Fed get the concept of variety, but actual wrestling companies just don't. More later.

I think it should mean something. The lower back tattoos that a lot of girls got a couple years ago is exactly what one shouldn't get, as most of the time they are meaningless. Other than that, I don't mind tattoos in the slightest.

Barbie Blank, a bikini model (NOTE: Some of the pictures in the link *might* not be work safe): http://www.gambling911.com/Barbie-Blank.html Victoria Crawford, a bikini model: http://www.kindindustries.com/myProfile.php?UID=3035 Can ANYONE help me out on this one? Anyone?

Or get your wife to scratch him...

I cannot stand you as a poster. Take the hint when the thread is deleted.

What was the women's tag match? Mickie/Vicky vs. Maria/Torrie? OH boy.

Did that promo that Paul cut at the end ever make it on air? I wonder who it got out for someone to put in on YouTube if no...

Because when he was getting into the business, Shawn was who Jericho wanted to be. Everyone puts over their role model more than everyone else.

Pssssh to KC: 5"7' isn't really that short... I like the HTML style too.

Sigh. There's enough women doing nothing in WWE as is. Do we really need more women without wrestling skills? They just shittingly train them and throw them in the ring anyways.

I ain't defending that one. Then again, it's been a bit since I've seen that Kane/Albert match.