Nighthawk

That one's a sleeping mask. I wear it on airplanes and then get indignant when the stewardesses complain. "It's a sleeping mask! Do you find something erotic about this? I have sleep apnea!" Also, regarding the movie My Ass Is Haunted, it scared the cum out of me.

Slayer, why do you point out my good posts? Even if I tried to keep it up now, the pressure is too high. That was the problem with pbone (and I'm amazed that this isn't obvious and I had to point it out), he was just posting what he wanted to say and then everyone is like "pbone is great! pbone is the best new poster!" And that pressure went to his head. This is a conclusion I came to about posters: they work in cycles. Frigid Soul is your best friend, and I like him too, but he's honestly the worst poster ever. He deleted an entire board because Leena blocked him on aim. As bad as I might suck now, I never did that. Still love the guy. You know who else totally sucks/ed? CWM. And Incandenza. Honestly the only poster who is good all the time ever is... you. You rule, Slayer.

Is it ok that I hate you? I mean, I spend pretty much all my time listening to the Requiem For a Dream soundtrack. If you seriously have advice, pm me, no really do... I seriously need it. I am desperately alone and I hate women. Plese help me.

I want to see this fight even more now. I have wrestling masks Bob can borrow.

That's interesting. I still don't think she'd win though. I stand by my assertion. Baron is the Hulk.

If I could see two posters from here fight each other, I wouldn't mind CanadianChick vs bob baron. While I don't doubt that Bob would win, she'd probably have to make him mad first. He'd be like "Stop it. I'm serious. Cut it out." while slapping her hands away before snapping into a rage and openly beating up a girl. The old classic of Kotz vs Agent would still be a crowd pleaser.

He's ok. He does try too hard, but I told him that and I think he listened. He and I have common interests.

I made this today, and it was really good. TSM gives me recipe ideas.

If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage and saying they're gay, the shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

Oh, and a Residents tattoo would be pretty cool.

There's a few band related things I'd get tattoos of. I'd get a portrait of Christina Aguilera Possibly the Mayhem logo, or an image of Dead Things from these : the Mentors, Iggy Pop, Dee Dee Ramone, Throbbing Gristle The Prince symbol Starland Vocal Band ("They suck!") Not that I will get all of those, but I think I'd be ok with them. Fuck a Misfits tattoo, though. I mean, it's just been run into the ground. Friend of mine has the Black Flag bars, and he's apologetic about when you see it, he's like "Now I know what you're thinking, but look, I just really like Black Flag that much." And I told him "Dude, don't apologize. At least it's not a Misfits tattoo." Another guy I know has, I shit you not, the Breaking Benjamin logo. He is obviously not my friend.

I've taken to only buying really expensive alcohol so I don't drink as much of it. So I've had some Hennessy lately. It's pretty good.

God will, eventually.

I write primarily as a catharsis for myself, so I never particularly cared whether anyone else liked it. People seem to, though. I just don't really have the motivation to publish anything, although I have, it was just allowing someone else to do all the work. I'm probably more likely to make my name in pornography and then use that as a springboard to publish something, I don't feel like just being a nobody shopping stuff around. Which is another thing I'm awesome at: masturbating. I make myself cum so hard. I'm bad at relationships with girls, but the reason for that is I'm actually too good at them, and am out of everybody's league. I have a very bad sense of direction. I'll get lost like a motherfucker.

I am staggeringly apolitical. Remember, I'm a nihilist. You know what that does to politics? Kills 'em. I did vote for Bush in the second election, primarily as a joke. People despised him so much I thought it would be funny to point and laugh and say "I PUT HIM IN THE WHITE HOUSE!" Go to Hell, America! Fuck you. Jon, is this about that ex again? You're better than that. I love Jim Steinman, and I would die for him. Problems with computer. Updates may be infrequent. But I will do them. As for DXM stories, I will be populating my myspace blog with stories about fucked up shit. Watch!

It is true that you can't get experience without a job, and you can't get a job without experience. I hate mainstream employment. I have a job which is ok, but I really think I should be doing porn. Not acting in it, directing it and so forth. I just think I'd be really good at it. But how do I get started, with no experience, other than taping myself fucking my various attachments? Now that Ashley Blue and I are friends, I should probably ask her.

Are you gay? If you have seriously considered this and you aren't, that is terrible. Answer one: If this girl really loves you, she will take the time, try different things, and find what you need to get it up. Answer two: Name bran Viagra. If it fails, sue.

You can stay best friends, just don't be in a "three way relationship". You can even have three way sex, but doing that and just being friends is fucking hard, I wouldn't suggest trying it. You kind of have to be me to get away with that, and even I have pretty much given up on fucking friends because it just doesn't work out. Just let friends be all it is. All of my female friends, I have either fucked or aggresively hit on, and I do regret it. I have had to tell a couple of them I was in AA and at the ninth step and apologized to them so they would talk to me again. But it's hard, when you're used to every woman you know having sex with you, to stop it. It can be done, though. I told a friend of mine "Oh God, I need a girlfriend badly, so I can stop being such a degenerate." And he said "Alright, I get you. I'll try to hook you up with one of the girls I know, but you should know that I have dated most of them myself. Does that bother you?" And I said "You shitting me? I'm coming from a place where everyone who is female has fucked everyone who is male. Of course it doesn't bother me!"

AWESOME! Be sure to tell Becky that Milky heard about this exchange and sang "Kickstart My Heart" aloud in celebration. (Because I did.) The "WHOA! YEAH!" part anyway. PS/ Fuck these bitches raw before you back out of it. But then seriously do. I can tell just from that, it's going to blow up in your face. Also, if anyone else has ever had conversations about me in real life, tell me all about it. They'll go in the book. You can pm me, if you feel self-conscious.

YES! Post a detailed transcription.

I would guess that it's because you ask me a lot of questions in this thread, have said a couple times that I was on fire, and have begged me to come to the chat. No worries, though, I like it. Oh god, I love midget porn. Basically any kind of porn that is strange, either from the performers themselves or what they are doing, I love it. And midget porn is a favorite. I prefer the pathetically named Twidget the Midget myself. Cute redhead. Happens to be a midget. Bridget is great, though. To paraphrase Richard, I'd kill my mother for the chance to cum in Bridget's mouth. She hates her family, loves metal, has a spider tattoo, and is a god damn midget porn star. She's great. Take it. The job you have now, there's no room for advancement. Plus, shitty towns are often the best towns, if you get to know them. With all the fucking underage girls and such. Plus in England, legal is 16, so to you guys, fucking a 14 year old is like fucking a 16 year old over here.

Ok, let's do all these (I'm taking a break from watching Simpsons season 10 to do this, just so you guys know I love you) God and Raptor Jesus, easily. Bullshit. Remember, I'm just a nihilist under a different name. However, I agree with what Alan Moore said about magic: "Everything that anyone has said about magic true... if you accept that these things are happening in people's minds." So in that sense, they are true. I myself have done some of that, teleporting and manipulating my own body like a puppet, but nothing ever really happened. I deny and reject anything even slightly otherworldly. It's us and that's it. That's what I'm here for. If we get it wrong, I will take responsibility. Where's your Messiah now? I'm right here, bitches. This was from Woodson, Illinois. I was playing on a playground, the merry go round in fact, and I remember the ground was covered in wood chips, and it was overcast that day. And my dad yelled "Come on, Flapper!" and I jumped and ran and got in the car. He still calls me Flap/Flapper/Flappage to this day (actually it's usually Flappage, currently... I'll have to ask about the origin of that nickname). And that's the earliest thing I remember. He's not the first, and I hope he won't be the last. It's ok, I accept that there's just something about me that draws people to me. It's why I started that cult. Yes, I do. I really, seriously do. I love Disneyland, and I love you, Jon, and room and board is paid for? I'd be an idiot not to do this. This will be an event on the level of the Inc/Agent meeting. But Christ knows what I'll be doing in January, or what my disposable income will look like. So I'll have to get back to you on this. But if I can, I will. No human should deny the opportunity to celebrate their birthday at Disneyland. Disneyland is fucking awesome. Age: whatever. Disneyland is still fucking awesome.

I would leave it all to fucking orphans. Call me a pussy? Fuck you, they deserve it. My last meal is easy. White pizza from Grimaldi's in Brooklyn.

Jesus, we should rename this thread "Vanhalen tries to kill me". But I love it, don't take that to mean I want you to stop. I'd have Leena unbanned. I really do love her. Not in that "I love potato chips." way either, I really love her. Not in the boy/girl way, but she is spectacular. I've told her before, it came out in our cyber transripts: While I honestly can't say that I "love" you... And so on... I respect that we are thousands of miles from each other, but she is my ideal mate. If circumstances were different, god, I'd be all over that, but things are the way they are. And so, I allow cyber sex to be the extent of it. Does Dr. Phil have a site? I'm sure he does. If so, that one. Also, pervertedjustice. I hate them with every fiber of my being. I sincerely try to look at every poster as a human being. And as such, I hate nobody. I really don't. Remember Dids? He described me as non-judgemental to a fault. It's true. I will accept and try to be nice to damn near anybody.