Nighthawk

I do think kids are cute if they aren't mine, but all that shit (literally and figuratively) you have to deal with when you raise them doesn't sound appealing. It's apparently worth it in the end, but god knows if I'll ever find out. I would be equally unsurprised either way. I'm going to answer this seperately because they're not really children if they have nice bodies. Biologically, sexual maturity is adulthood. As a culture, we have invented the concept of adolescence, and only recently. There is nothing wrong at all, morally or for the record legally, with admiring the body of a 13 year old. I might even go so far as to say it's fine to jerk off to pictures of them. Just don't go public with it, not everyone is as enlightened as me. Sure, because our culture has taken sexually mature women and allowed them to be mentally immature children, we should respect their station in life and not talk to them or approach them in that way, but as slutty as a lot of 13 year olds are... in the words of Ian Malcolm, uh... nature finds a way. Remember, I did fuck a 13 year old once. Nope, haven't been. Likely the same reasons Inc never has been. Consensus I would guess is we wouldn't care/laugh in their face. And it's true that I don't view those things as a status symbol, you're actually supposed to do things to help the forum. It's volunteer work. Fuck that. Not much of a status symbol either, we've had some pretty big douches as mods. I suppose I could be the kind of mod Agent is, just lording over the anything goes part of the board, but that job is taken.

That's the gayest shit I ever heard.

Tip drill the bitch, yo.

I think Slayer's a great guy. I am never in the tsm chatroom because honestly I'm not even aware of it. I don't pay attention much, you see. If I am sometime bored, I might stop in. You know that feeling when you're in love and then you get dumped and you feel like you'll never get over it and will never love anyone the same way again? I never had that. I mean sure, I've felt really bad, but I knew I was gonna get over it. The part about not loving anyone the same way was true though. Because you shouldn't. That perpetual infatuation you feel with young love is incredibly unhealthy. It fosters dependence. Anytime your happiness is reliant upon someone else, that's bad. Furthermore, you, in turn, neglect yourself, and by extension, render yourself less and less desirable until you get dumped. It's good to have one of those relationships though, so you know what not to do next time. I have a weakness for stupid whores. I think they're fun. But I've had to come to the conclusion that I ought to at least be open to the possibility of a decent woman. So as I've spent time with girls who are adults, I've found they all want autonomy and hate dependence. It's refreshing. Real love is more like a friendship. Like Cliff and Claire Huxtable. You didn't see them skipping around and weeping over each other, did you? No! Romeo and Juliet were actually two of the stupidest characters in fiction. All the god damn soap opera bullshit and that crap they put in the movies, girls love that stuff. But it never happens in real life. Girls need to be fucked over a couple times before they figure out how to have a real, healthy relationship. That's terrible. It's all the fault of god damn Hollywood. I mean, it's ok to watch the movie, but don't expect that shit to really happen. It's like porn for women. Porn will screw up a guy's expectations too. It turns out that in real life, girls usually don't like having loads blown in their face. I was just as surprised as you. If you really want to make a girl feel special, either A) Cook her dinner. or B) Get a tattoo of her face. Names can be covered up too easily. I'll close with an anecdote that relates why infatuation is bad. When I was in teenaged infatuation relationship, the girl always said she would kill herself if I ever left her. One time we were on the phone, and we were watching the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, mostly so she could talk about how stupid it was (she was one of those girls). And Spider-man came out, and she said "That's stupid. Spide-man sucks now." And I said "You know what, you're stupid. Go ahead and kill yourself now because I hate you!" Yeah, I'm a pretty big Spider-man fan. A little bit later, I kind of felt bad, so I called her back to make sure she was alive. When she answered, I yelled "WAAAAAASSSSUUUPPP!" like the beer commercials. She hung up on me. If we had been more mature, none of that would have happened. I'm not likely to ever stop. And since we've put in this much time, it's probably a matter of something legitimately eating up all our time. Voluntarily quit? If we were going to, we would have by now. So that varies from person to person. It's just a matter of what happens in your life.

I like them both, but I think the pink might be perceived as me trying to make some sort of statement.

That's what I say when people ask if I'm being ironic with that fairy shirt. I'm like "No! I just like fantasy. And that was the least gay shirt I could find. What's the alternative? Wizard? Dragon? That would make me look like a fag." And wolf is the worst. That's the line I walk. I really mean it, but can avoid looking like an ass because of the current trend of irony. Except when I paint my nails to match the shirt, some people don't buy it. It's like c'mon... nobody's that gay. But I live in the San Francisco area... yes, some people here are that gay.

Cyber Mark Madden, I hate myself and make it work, but also consider myself a Messiah, and legitimately have a God complex. It's doable.

I think Vanhalen sucks. You may very well be a fine guy in real life, and from the tidbits you've shared about your personal life, you probably are, but that doesn't impress me. I'm a fine guy in real life, and I don't suck on the internet. But you do. Balance, man! You have to balance both.

I've been to Mexico, but didn't do any of the wild shit people typically do in Mexico. I was young. I would like to go to Japan, though. Everything I hear about it makes me think I'll just fall in love with the culture. I hear it's like living in a video game. Plus they have pretty and young girls eating shit and licking out the asshole of a dog (Not to mention Cockroach Eating Girl). I don't know where they find these ladies, but they are there, apparently. They have professional quality porn comics which people draw themselves and publish, for the sheer joy of it. Movies about giant monsters. Crazy horror movies. So much more. God I love Japan. When I get there (and that's when, not if), I will either just never come back, or if I do come back, I'm bringin' a wife with me.

We will have to wait until the movie comes out to see.

Coal Chamber fucking suck. When I (24) was recently going out with this 18 year old chick, and she was talking about Coal Chamber, I said exactly that ("... fucking suck") and she said "Yeah, people your age tend to think that, but people my age like them." That should say it all.

I get what you're going for here, but that's just silly. I will point out that there is an LL Cool J song called "Milky Cereal". And as for the Milky expiration date, the deathclock says I will die June 8, 2039. Smart money says I'll rise 3 days later, though. In addition, Dethklok is my favorite band. I sympathize with you here. There is a remarkably simple answer, though. You have to get her alone, away from work. So just say sometime, "Hey, you want to get lunch together?" or "Hey, shall we grab a coffee?" or whatever the devil it is you people do in England... trust me, if she's really flirting with you, this is exactly what she wants you to do. And if she's not, she'll say no, but you won't look like a fool, because you didn't say "Please go out with me.", you were just trying to be social. It's win/win. And when you've got her alone, just talk to her and be nice to her. It's easy. If even that makes you nervous, try it a couple times with girls there who you aren't interested in, as a decoy/warmup. Too much is when it interferes with your life. Like Dr. Drew said, an alcoholic is someone who drinks in the face of consequences. If there aren't any... drink away. The only thing to consider here is your health, and how it makes you feel. Plus, are there no consequences because you drink in moderation, or because you're lucky? I myself have faced a shitload of consequences and drank anyway, because the mild enjoyment I get from booze was more important to me than those consequences (isolating certain people, getting kicked out of my parents house... I should really be bowing down and thanking liquor for that one). So really it's a matter of priorities. The other thing here is if we ever settled down and had kids. That would really alter the situation. But as single, healthy, young adults, we should be allowed to drink a fair amount. If we can't do it, who can? We just have to know that the answer to "How much is too much?" is not stagnant. It will change along with our lives. PS I absolutely adore the picture.

Ok, marriage is basically an institution of the Bible. We used to need that, when the strongest and brightest led the clan. But now... it means as much as a monkey's dick. I could elaborate. But that's true, and I'm sleeping. And ask whatever you want, in the interim. But feel free to ask that again. Cause I have more to say.

And yeah, same girl I mentioned there. Once I taped thumb tacks onto all my fingers, and beat the bleed out of her. But she wanted it. During? No I never did anything in the course of an act that she didn't want before. But I did beat the shit out of her. I made her hurt... bad. But she loved me. Do you know love? No. And did you know I love pain, and adore being beaten and cut, just pretty much... all the time. Well, I do. And whatever she wanted on top of that, I always topped her.

Drugs? Oh yes, I did about pretty much... all. But yes... this: This has all reminded me of a really good story. I've told this to very few people, because whenever I do they pretty much call me a liar. But you guys will get it. I used to date this girl, and we were in a band together. She played the guitar and I sang. And she had worked out something where we going to play during amateur night at some local club. Not a big thing, there were like 50 people in the audience. But I told her, "We should really make a huge impression. Let's do something really rock and roll. When I'm singing, make sure I don't know when it's coming, but just take your guitar and smash me over the head with it as hard as you can." She did. And it really hurt a lot. I was like "Fuck, I know what I said, but that really hurt, you bitch!" I almost beat up my girlfriend in the middle of a show. I didn't hit her, but I tackled her, and our "song" totally dissolved. We wound up just doing acid with the rest of the local "bands" for the rest of the night, so my memory of the immediate events are a blur, but she told me later that that club had banned any of us from ever showing our faces there again. That's a good example of why I worry about somebody taking my shit seriously. I also made an offhand comment once that "Skeletally anorexic girls are sexy." And I saw her again a week later and she said "I haven't eaten since the last time we talked. Are you happy?" "No, you dumbass, I didn't really mean that!" I ended up sitting on her and forcing a hot pocket down her throat.

My stories involving bowling are three things: Chucking the ball so hard it sailed across the lane and landed in the lane next to me. Playing air hockey in the arcade, losing, and throwing my... stick? Whatever you call it, the thing you hit the puck with, all the way across the alley. Winning one of those claw machines for the only time in my life. A stuffed moose. All before the age of ten.

So my resolve to not drink lasted a good two days. It just spirals and escalates until I get annihilated and say "That's it!" and then slowly climb the ladder back to that point. That once a year or so suicidal drunk is what keeps me alive. It's like I've heard a lot of junkies and street folk say: One month a year in jail, or one year every five, will keep you alive. It's how GG made it to 36. Same principal. I drank in moderation today. Six dollar shots will do that to you. So I had four shots of Wild Turkey and two Bud Lights. $30, but that was a very comfortable drunk to me. Not wanting more... not puking and making a fool of myself. Cruising. So maybe I'll try to keep it around there.

Oh, and by the way, the way the beard was shown here, that was like third day of growing it. It's majestic now. I walk down the street, and girls I've never met before call their boyfriends and say "It's over... No, seriously, we're through. You should see this guy's face."

Since work has slowed down for the next couple weeks, I've been pretty bored. So taking the names from that other thread, this is what I think of all of you. .CWM sickens me. He's a filthy drug dealer. Peddling that poison to young people, he should go to hell. But at least they aren't American young people. .Banky threw his life away getting a college degree in something that does no good. .Nevermortal is a fag because he has long hair .Piss likes cats and is therefore gay. .Tack is fucking terrible. .IDRM is the greatest person ever .Agent lives in a trailer .Slayer is a douche, but sounds like me apparently, so is therefore awesome .Inc went to college until he was 30 .godthedog can't fucking type properly. .Edwin is the only member of the secret board who isn't fucked up. Seriously, I did a drunken Charlie Murphyesque thing there once where I insulted everybody, and I couldn't think of anything for him. He wears glasses. Nerd. .Frigid Soul has completely fucked himself over when it comes to relationships. He knows it, too. .Jerk I don't even know, so he's obviously stupid. .Kotz overcompensates for being gay. .wildpegasus was the king. .CronoT makes me sad, so he should therefore kill himself. .Special K was a great guy. .Hoff is fat. .kkktookmybabyaway really doesn't seem like he would like the Ramones. .Carlito Brigante is a nigger. .Justice I don't fucking know either, so fuck that guy. .Barron scares the hell out of me. .Carnival is likely the second most attractive poster here, after me. .Zack Malibu is the most obviously homosexual guy here. .Marney I only have a sexual interest in, and only because she's gay. .Leena is a sweet girl, but rather dull. .Si82 is stupid and gay. .Rant is pretty awesome, because we once posted a bunch of gay porn and Nazi propaganda on different boards. .Oblivious Heel I was oblivious to. .niskie is more perverted than me. .netslob was awesome, but I still hope he dies, cause it'd be funny.

Don't question my loyalty to the fantasy genre. Need I remind you: Unicorn is less gay than fairy. That fairy shirt there has the same texture of purple as this unicorn one, actually. And they are therefore a set. That settles it. Purple! Unless it ends up as both. But purple first.

Broccoli does. It has a fairly advanced nervous system. It can theoretically feel pain.

I'm have both in me, but I'm more Scottish.

It's sort of an overly complex story, but it was this: at this sporting goods store, some of the items were stored in the back, and if you wanted one, you went and told the cashier and they would call for it over the PA. Often, because the store was a wreck, we'd be out and you'd have to go up and say we didn't have any. She'd look in the computer and then storm back there and be like "The computer says we have three, you're just being lazy." and look for a minute and then be like "I have to get back to the register. Stop being lazy and find it now!" and you don't find it, and she then she complains to management, which on this unfortunate instance was me. I put up with for a while... but I decided it was time for the truth. I was sort of coasting by that point, didn't really want to work there. The place was incredibly incompetent. New shipments would come in, and somebody would be like "I don't feel like putting this up." and stick it in the corner put a bunch of stuff in front of it (largely why we could never find anything). People would always show up drunk or high, one guy even carried a flask on the sales floor. Everybody was fucking everybody else, occasionally on the clock. I mean, I fucked a couple girls I worked with, but not, you know, during work.

You're not enjoying it as much you thought you would, yet you pretty explicitly said you knew it was a mistake. Solution is to back the fuck out of it. In somewhat related news, earlier this morning I took what was undoubtedly the biggest shit of my life. Afterwards, I felt empty inside, but I knew it had to be done. That's what you'll feel.

That doesn't sound too different from where I worked, although the position of "head cashier" really held no authority. So she couldn't send anyone home, but she was a righteous bitch to everyone. It was her I was fired for calling a dumb bitch, and she went home in tears. Naturally everyone loved me. Whenever I stop back into the place I get greeted like Norm in cheers, especially after I wore a shirt which said "You Dumb Bitch" when I was there to get my last check. I was only really fired because I was management, and couldn't really talk that way to my subordinates. One of the other girls who used to work there (who I'm still friends with, by the way) called her a "fat ugly cow who will die alone" and only got written up.