Nighthawk

That actually does sound really good, come to think of it. I'm going to get one tomorrow.

Cue raccoon leaping into face.

You can ask.

I talked to Pennywise a couple times.

Well so can I, but that doesn't mean I'd be a good waiter. I've done a fair bit of retail though.

Sure, but that's like the candy bride and groom on a wedding cake. That's not to scale.

No yeah, I see where you got your teeth now. But this is good news. Although I barely graduated high school and didn't graduate college, I loathed being a student. So anytime someone stops, I feel good for them.

Whoa, whoa. Jackass is higher than C level celeb, at least Knoxville and Bam are. Steve-O is kind of an O level celeb, he's a cult unto himself. Dunn is C or D level, I'll give you.

Incy and Agent both seem very little like waiters. Kotz, now he's a waiter. I don't think I've ever been to the Texas Cheesecake Depository, actually. Which is funny, because I love cheesecake.

Giant Cthulhu is the only kind of Cthulhu there is.

If Lohan dies between now and age 27, I go on record as getting a tattoo of her. You know who I worry about, though? Samantha Ronson. She's so ugly she lets Lindsay take advantage of her.

The Residents version of "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" is awesome. They make it totally unlistenable. I also prefer Britney Spears' version to the original.

That's a bit of a shock. Doesn't really have anything to do with Benoit, but since it's about another wrestler death I'll mention it here. Meltzer just said on LAW that John Kronus' heart was twice the size of a normal guy his age and size. This always happens with guys who drink a lot, but nobody is exactly sure why. I have no idea whether Kronus was a boozer, but it's true.

I did get it, at a local record store, in fact I'm having a group over to watch it tonight. This particular store also has unedited Traci Lords porn from when she was 15, though.

Not while I still have breath, at least.

While I eat those regularly, I have no idea what kind of meat is in them. Lamb? If so, good. Any time small animals are tortured to feed my bloodthirst, I'm happy.

Moving the wrestling folders down is shooting yourself in the foot. If you move them, might as well get rid of them entirely. Which only a crazy person would suggest!

Fuck you, asshole.

I seriously worship Cthulhu, guys. I'm not joking when I say that. This is very offensive to me.

Yeah, no that isn't true, although I do call my friend who hooked me up with the married Mexican slut Azathoth, in reference to him being the blind idiot god.

God, I want to fuck her. I want to to fuck her right in her pussy licked pussy. Go on, stick your strap on in my asshole. I'm ready. You're all a bunch of assholes. Anybody here got my new album called "Eat My Fuck"? Eat my fucking diarrhea. Faggots.

What?!? I've never spent near that much. I do have connections which let me get in for free, but admission can't be that much.

I hate theme parks with two exceptions: Disney and Six Flags Magic Mountain. Magic Mountain largely because I spent an obscene amount of time there in my youth, so it's nostalgic for me. So I always go with Disney. Actually, if you shave your head and ride in a wheelchair, theme parks aren't so bad. People assume you're dying, so you get all kinds of perks. When I did this, I just wore a shaved head for style and had a blown out knee, I wasn't trying to scam. But it works.

Jethro Tull rule for winning the first metal grammy despite not being a metal band.

That, yes, is an awesome name, and it's been around so long I don't remember where it came from. It is sort of a once removed PCU reference, though. The origin of SBBATGF, for the record: "The Gay Faggots" was taken from some throwaway banter at a Mindless Self Indulgence performance, where Jimmy Urine is rambling and he says "(something something) and the Gay Faggots!" I couldn't really understand him. Sweet Baby Bitch was from Stanglemania 2, where ICP were promoting a women's electrified barbed wire match, and Violent J keeps forgetting what name they made up for one of the chicks, so he keeps calling her something different every time, like "Sweet Bitch Ass" or "Sugar Tits" or something. Sugar Tits and the Gay Faggots isn't bad either, but this one just rolls off the tongue. Really, a lot of the problem with my bands is that I'm very much a control freak, and it should really just be a solo project, but you need clout to just have a band back you while you do whatever you want. I don't have that. My longest lasting band, Skullfuck, was sort of like that, mostly because I was dating the guitarist and she was basically worshiping me, and we had a lot of different bass players, and the drummer was just a very meek guy who let you push him around. If we ever get an album cut, I'll let you guys know and we'll make the cover a collage of pictures of people holding up signs which call me a cunt/say I have a cunt.