Nighthawk

It was my brother's birthday yesterday. I sent him a text message.

I had some for the first time in a few years the other day... and this happened. I don't remember that happening before!

Actually, I meant that Diabolus in Musica was shit, God Hates Us All was only okayish. Christ Illusion is really good, yes.

Oh, it wasn't shit. Well, the former of the two was, maybe. But the latest is top notch.

It's Tom Cruise.

I usually prefer not to get all preachy with people who don't know what punk is. I mean, it's not hurting anybody, what do you care if they're wrong? Like this one girl I know who will bash bands like Good Charlotte and Simple plan and talk about how nobody knows true punk like Green Day and Offspring. I think it's adorable. Punk, as a whole, as a musical style, lifestyle, and as a concept, is stupid and gay. Let it be. Genesis P-Orridge is a genius. I don't see how being a transexual adversely affects one's musical output. Ever listen to Wayne/Jayne County? Good stuff. Throbbing Gristle were the only true industrial band.

I like it.

I'll fight him right now.

Old enough to know better. However, I will also point out that this was in Kentucky, where 20 year old guys could openly date 12 year old girls, and if they had a fight, the girl's grandmother (who was like 35) would encourage her to give him another chance. That's a true story.

I'll buy your autographed poster, but not for very much.

GG's brother Merle Allin's beardlocks:

Ha ha. He is pretty funny.

This is madness.

Go stand on the street with a hand lettered sign that says "Fuck You, Pay Me". Really works, I've seen it. When people pass by, don't say anything, just give them the evil eye and point to the sign.

It's tasteful. The crowd at the theater where I saw it... was not. Partially. Seeing this again and reminding me of Bug Eater 2... there's worse shit out there than that, no doubt. Try Dockman's Toilet Training: Larvae Lunch for example... it's the professionalism of Bug Eater 2 that really got under my skin. The idea that there were probably auditions. Even Mr. Hands... Freak, but I don't judge him. Dude liked to get fucked by horses. Not normal, but ok. Bug Eater is just indicative of something seriously, seriously wrong. Bug porn creeps me out, always, but the effort and presentation of that was just wrong. Same thing that weirded me out about the most extreme (and I mean it) scat site ever, sweetmook. The effort. The voiceovers, the captions... you're eating animal shit, guys, you don't need special effects.

Well, Mr. Hands was the name he went by, but there were lots of these videos floating around. The most common one, the "Too much? Too much?" one was probably not video of the one that killed him, and in fact, since he didn't actually acknowledge that he was dying until many hours later, we may never know what the actual video is of him being horse dicked to death. But there's a mainstreamish documentary about this out now... it's called Zoo, and it's actually pretty good.

That's practically mainstream by now, I don't even remember. But if you look at the media circus around Benoit, that's what was happening with this guy being fucked to death by a horse in 2003 or whenever it was. It's everywhere, in fact a friend of mine has put out albums consisting of nothing but the audio of this guy being fucked by horses.

best- Watching James and the Giant Peach and hallucinating that I was living it. [mushrooms and a shit load of dxm] worst- Fucking a 13 year old girls and cumming in her unprotected, then holding scissors to her throat and threatening to butcher her if I ever heard from her again. [meth and speed] both- 4th plateau best I never talked about here before- Sticking a bunch of safety pins through my arm and literally making a girl faint. [meth] worst I never talked about here before- Waking up with my face cut to shit and my cd player and all my cds (all of them) locked in the bathroom. [i don't remember]

I invented the "Oh man, I'm on drugs right now." thread. If you search, you can find threads I did while sniffing glue, threads I did on acid, and threads recounting drinking eight bottles of Robitussin. The quote in my signature was made under the influence of nothing but good old alcohol. I still have more drug stories if another thread gets going.

I've been playing around with the celebrity lookalikes generator all night. Celebrities I look like highlights include Jude Law, Chuck Berry, Johnny Depp, Anna Kournikova, Katherine Hepburn, Jamie Lynn Spears (maybe my favorite of the whole bunch), John Belushi, Frank Zappa, Gary Oldman, Ashley Olsen and Michael Jordan. The only ones who came up more that once were Hal Sparks and Charlie Manson. This was the best one by far: That's all over the place awesome. It's my personality as well as my appearance.

Here's an old picture of me with a beard: I could pass for Jesus Christ:

This new generation of TSMers is hard to crack. How about how much I enjoyed raping that six year old nigger girl and punching her repeatedly in the stomach so she ain't gon' be able to have no babies, and yes I deserve to die, and I hope I burn in hell. And I voted for George Bush... twice (that's true... I voted for George Bush twice... as a joke). And I dug up the body of Chris Benoit's retarded son and fucked it, then choked it out again, and then ate a big pile of cockroaches and did a bunch of GHB and posted false reports on wikipedia and got a tattoo of a pot leaf while fucking two twin sisters at the same time. And then I killed a Jew.

Ok, let's try this again: *fried chicken *watermelon *welfare *gold teeth *Newports *tricked out bicyles *weed *E&J *40s *the front porch *record labels *Roca Wear *children out of wedlock *basketball *singing *chitlins *rap music *crack cocaine *hats *grits *Shaft *ooga booga Have I offended you yet? I seriously doubt that the kind of all blacks is actually black. Also, Richard: shut up, fag.

Ok, let's try this again: *fried chicken *watermelon *welfare *gold teeth *Newports *tricked out bicyles *weed *E&J *40s *the front porch *record labels *Roca Wear *children out of wedlock *basketball *singing *chitlins *rap music *crack cocaine *hats *grits *Shaft *ooga booga Have I offended you yet? I seriously doubt that the kind of all blacks is actually black. Also, Richard: shut up, fag.

Nigger.