Nighthawk

Oh, also, The Boy In the Striped Pajamas... that shit was fuckin' amazing. After it was over, nobody left, everybody in the theater just sat there in silence (except for the sound of crying). I'd never seen a movie affect people that way. I didn't cry, but I could have.

I'd still say I prefer Lost Boys, but LTROI is right behind.

George Costanza

A little behind the times lately, Mike...

Oh, that's silly. Apparently you guys have already discussed this, and it's true what was said, but 1) I'm mostly straight in that I only fuck guys when they come onto me. I've never come onto a guy in my life. And even then... not that much. 2) I'm in a relationship anyway. 3) You don't look all that black. He probably wouldn't talk to me unless he wanted to buy my land, as he doesn't really like people. I'd offer to buy him a drink, and we'd have whiskey and steaks, if he were agreeable. Probably Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Maybe Dead or Alive. It's definitely somebody from the 80s... yeah, I'm going to go with Frankie and "Relax". You're preaching to the choir. I'm a big fan of his subversive material, and in fact find it really unfortunate that he's mostly known for something that's fairly divergent from his larger body of work (see also Blur and Chumbawamba). "Sail Away" is my favorite song of his. I haven't held anything back... tough call. I used to tamper with food at every conceivable opportunity out of sheer malice. Put semen in the sour creme at Taco Bell when I worked there at 16 years old. I used to sneak into the girls locker room and steal their underwear.

At the top of my list is definitely Marney. There are two scenarios that would be particularly good. One, I rape her. Or, conversely (and I would much prefer this) submit to her totally. I'd totally love having her beat and abuse me, and fuck me with a strap on. Cause you know she's got a big ol' dick. Call me crazy, but Taiga is very near the top as well. She's what I like to call the perfect storm scenario. I've mentioned before how stuff turns me on purely based on how filthy and depraved it is, and sex with her would just feel awful and wrong. So wrong it's right. Furthering the filth, I'd play submissive to her as well, cause that's what I like. Yuna is great too, but there probably wouldn't be any actually sex, just erotic play. Leena for old times sake, but she and I both have changed too much for it to be anything but that. As for the guys... anybody black.

That is harassment.

In.

Ernie "Big Ern" McCracken

Thank you.

Lots of them. I particularly enjoyed one I wrote about the book of Job from the perspective of Satan, or one I wrote about how Mormonism was stupid. Or one where we were supposed to write about having a nemesis, and I wrote about the teacher of the class. I was always fairly inflammatory. Not high school, but in 7th grade, a funny thing happened. We were doing this exercise where we took one of several well known stories and wrote a new ending to it. I chose Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and for the end I completely plagiarized the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (like, Papa Bear is like "Go upstairs and get your grandpa!", and Baby Bear is chasing Goldilocks down the highway swinging his claws while she shrieks hysterically in the back of a pickup truck.) This being a conservative religious school, they were not familiar with TCM, and also found me deeply, deeply disturbed.

Vern Schillinger

Norway

Jules Winnfield

It's hard to rank single events... were I to say, for example, the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, which led to WWI, which, in a roundabout way, started WWII, the Holocaust, atomic bombs, ended the depression in America, yadda yadda yadda. It's too big. So, in a nutshell, the answer is the founding of the five major religions.

Well, I don't really rank them as such, but I'm not a particularly big fan. That kind of self-consciousness is pretty opposed to my own philosophy. Like his quote "Every single line means something." I would say "No line means anything." I enjoy a lot of his work on a superficial level, but I don't get behind his motivation, and as an individual... eh. Art as a concept is flawed. It's all a big joke. You know what artists I like? Jake and Dinos Chapman. Damien Hirst. Or that girl who had all the abortions. That's the kind of art I can get behind.

Haven't heard it, but it seems interesting enough conceptually.

In no particular order: Pope Alexander VI Marquis de Sade Aleister Crowley GG Allin Nero They are my favorites for essentially the same reason; they lived according the no standards but their own, and although some of them spent a good deal of time in prison, they answered to no authority, and indulged whims that most people wouldn't dream of. I admire that, and emulate it to a certain extent, although obviously all of those people (except maybe Crowley) have qualities that I wouldn't care to emulate as well. And above all, they're interesting. My teeth, easily. Stage one meth rot. Not a lost cause, but could be a lot better.

Free alternative lifestyle tip, Snoot: the slave bit only works when the sap's got dignity!

I hate it when you're trying to talk to a girl, and she laughs and makes eye contact and touches your arm. Bitch.

You mean you missed your turn because Czech is a dumb queer.

"Teardrops On My Guitar"? BWA HA HA!

Do you honestly think I haven't told her pretty much the exact same thing before? I know what her reaction is.