Nighthawk

Yeah, that's the same as how I want to rape somebody, but would never actually do it (couldn't, to tell you the truth). That's just sex fantasy, it's not misogyny. I'm actually kind of surprised you've never heard that. I like how a discussion of the weekend box office take has turned into "women: are they asking for it?"

I'm sure he had a good reason.

I hate most people I play poker with too. I hate people who play poker, mostly. The only one I like playing with is my brother, because I can blatantly cheat and he doesn't care. He's good to play Monopoly with too, I always have my Ghetto Blaster keyed up with "Bling Bling" for every time he lands on my property. Agent once speculated that I would be really good at either chess or poker. No, I'm actually just average at both. Trivial Pursuit I'm good at. I will annihilate anyone at that.

Yeah, I haven't actually seen the movie, so I'm talking out of my ass, probably. But no, real rape is not sexy, I wasn't saying that.

Alright, that was kind of a fucked up statement... but it's like, it's sex and violence. We all know every girl fantasizes about being raped. Hell, I'd love to rape someone. I wouldn't, because that's hurtful. But in the sense of fantasy, it's fine. And that was a fake movie. There's nothing more erotic than watching a girl you're attracted to become the victim of sexual violence when you know she's not really being hurt. Or... maybe I'm alone here.

What kind of person wouldn't get turned on by rape? That makes no sense to me.

I was initially just going to go for a straight ahead Don't Be a Menace quote, but eh... Ya'll got to stop using the word nigger. You see, it's terms like the word nigga that the white man uses to take away the self esteem of another race. Oh yeah, remind me to pick my laundry up from that chink motherfucker up the street. Heh... You ain't so tough now, little nigga. I hate you black bastards, you stink! I hate your black skin. I hate your black pants. I hate black pepper. I hate black keys on a piano. I hate my gums, cause they black. I hate Whoopi Goldberg's lips. I hate the back of Forrest Whittaker's neck. Most of all, I hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.

Please. It was an effort not to say "Chink".

Hell yeah. That shit works. Try just walking into a room and announcing "Gooood evening ladies and gentle-men. We are tonight's entertainment." I can do a fair impression of him too.

You know, I like Brendan Fraser, and I love Jet Li, and I like mummies and Chinamen, but I still don't want to see that movie.

I've had a hard time getting into an IMAX showing, but I finally just went ahead and bought tickets for Sunday. That's advanced enough.

Yeah. Say, do you have Marvel Ruins? Possibly Miracleman? (I've read Miracleman already, so Ruins is a higher priority). email remains [email protected]

The only critics I ever liked were Roger Ebert and Joe Bob Briggs. The thing about Ebert though is that when reviewing the movie Crash (the Cronenberg one), he claims that car crashes is not a real fetish. He obviously hasn't spent much time on the internet. He says "I only wish someone would make a movie that so thoroughly explores my fetishes." For the love of god, on top of everything else, don't make me picture Roger Ebert's fetishes! Guy's gotta have a food fetish. Still, it's like every time someone says something bad about him, it's centered around him being fat. It really doesn't affect his job as a film critic. I also liked how he totally dissed Rob Schneider.

That's fucked up, by the way. Back in my weed smoking days, I'd eat one of those motherfuckers by myself. But anyway, I think they should really make a Hooters style restaurant with barely pubescent girls, like Raisins. If we look at the market of people who subscribe to preteen modeling websites, and guys who like football and chicken wings, I bet there's a lot of crossover. Now, I think only the Japanese could pull this off. The only problem I see is that I don't think minors can serve beer. I never cared for Hooters, because the first time I went there the waitress had fucking ringworm. I was also, FYI, on my way to the 2004 Survivor Series. Shitty show.

I'm listening to Portland crust punk pioneers Poison Idea. Pig Champion, who often sat in a chair on stage, wrote some of the best hardcore songs ever. That was their best album. I've always had a liking for really chaotic and bizarre artists who are also blackly hilarious, and not unintentionally like GG.

Porno magazine, large box of condoms, bottle of Old Harper, a couple panty shields, some illegal fireworks and two disposable enemas.

I've only been punched by a girl once, come to think of it. Girl I used to work with, she was out for a few months from a car accident, when she came back I said "Oh, we were all hoping you were dead." I ended up getting fired for calling her a dumb bitch.

I've been walked in on while masturbating by my mom twice. The second time I didn't even break stride.

No way, I look at Winehouse pictures every day.

Hm, apparently I was drunk out of my mind at three o'clock in the morning, yet somehow bouncing out the door to work at 6, feeling fine. I don't know how I do that. I'm just a dog chasing cars... wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it.

As fucking dorky as I am, I've seriously never read it.

"Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief Looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief Saying, "Tell me great hero, but please make it brief Is there a hole for me to get sick in?" The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry" And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky Saving, "The sun's not yellow it's chicken" Mama's in the fact'ry She ain't got no shoes Daddy's in the alley He's lookin' for the fuse I'm in the streets With the tombstone blues"

Do it anyway. It's that good.

Are you shitting me Jingus, because Miracleman is the greatest comic ever. Watchmen is number one, and then it's sort of Dark Knight Returns, Long Halloween, Preacher, maybe Welcome Back Frank, and Miracleman is right in there on that level.

No it won't, you're friends with me now. You better buckle up your fucking seat belt. I really don't have any experience with ginger girls, and this is recent enough that no sex has happened, so I'm kinda half wondering about the... firebush. Yes, I'll admit it. I still like her a lot. Regarding lyrics, I still hold the time I was drunkenly raving about the deep meaning in the lyrics of Lady Sovereign as one of the funniest things I've ever done. I mean, I'm me, and still... Lady Sovereign?