Nighthawk

Whaaaat? You ever been shot with a paintball? I've had both of those things happen, and I wouldn't compare them. Does birdshit leave welts?

How long were you with that girl? You're taking this really well. I mean that as a compliment.

You're square in a lot of ways, Daniel.

Sports entertainment is good.

Yeah, you totally just called stripping a sport.

Example of me being a bastard: I was relating to a friend a story of an old man on a bus who told me he was surprised to hear they could say "crap" on tv. My friend says "Well, jeez, Dave, he's old fashioned, but I don't know if that makes him scum." I didn't even realize I had called him scum, it's just my default noun.

It is absolutely not a legit sport at all.

Metalocalypse slash makes no sense to me, considering that everyone in the band essentially hates each other. Hell, Slash in itself makes no sense. "Hey, here's two guys who hate each other and have no interest in each other sexually. Let's read/write about them fucking." Not that you probably care, but hatefuck is one of the primary motivating forces of slash. Oh, and if it were me, I'd have went Skwisgaar/Pickles (just imagining the wordplay in such a a scene has me in hysterics), and Toki/Rockso.

I'm taking "The David McLaughlin Story", starring Cornelius Jolie-Pitt in his Oscar winning role.

Why I am not surprised to find a glut of Skwisgaar/Toki slash fic/art? Piece of shits making this shit... I'm manning the Metalocalypse slash community up with some Nathan/Murderface slash.

You know, I know a lot of vegans, and they're all ok. One guy even sat in Carls Jr with me and chatted, and afterwards we went to a vegan place and chatted. He had a "meat is murder" tattoo. Appropriately, I was wearing an American Psycho shirt.

Please, I'm trying to stay sober. Percocet and internet porn.

God, you and I are really a lot a like. I realized recently that not only am I a bitter, hate-filled misanthrope, but often a genuinely mean spirited dick. I justified this by saying "Well, I'm always there for and care about people I like." True. But I like barely anyone. I think people deserve to be treated like shit because they disgust me. But... if you're not part of the solution, your part of the problem. Oh shit, does that mean I have to start voting too? Perhaps I should reevaluates my life.

Damn robot niggers...

Just ask this scientician...

I'm officially retiring the name Milky Korova. Milky represents the evil David, and in sincere efforts to turn over a new leaf and start fresh, I will no longer use this name. I expect that people will still call me Milky, and I will still respond, but I will no longer refer to myself or self identify as Milky. From now on, you have to call me Nighthawk.

Are you mocking my draft?

Tim Roth? I used to confuse him with Alan Cumming, who I believe you were a fan of. Might be that. Then again, I used to confuse David Bowie and Rod Stewart, so who knows.

I doubt she whores herself for it, though. She's a rock star, she can afford crack.

Hey guys, I think that it would be hot to fuck Amy Winehouse in her ass, except she probably doesn't wipe properly, because, y'know, she's not always the best groomed person. She does have that nice skinny legs and flat ass crackwhore look.

"Who's Eric? Who's the Eric who threw his lunch at me?"

At least he's not the fattest ugliest lead singer alive with horrible skin!

I had that problem too, but now even when I'm super drunk I don't feel like smoking. That's one vice kicked... 99 to go.

Dagwood burger... faggots.

Look into this case. The coffee was at a temperature unfit for consumption/handling. Yes, coffee is supposed to be hot, not boiling. She required skin grafts. I don't like that this has become the go to example of a frivolous lawsuit, when in this case it was actually justified. I dunno, I'm a little strange about fat people. I was actually fat for a while (nihilistic drug/alcohol/junk food consumption), and constantly felt bad about it. Much of why I love Nathan Explosion: self-loathing badass metal singer, overweight from being a binge drinker? Check. But anyway, I lost a lot of weight, and am now just a little chubby, basically average, yet still constantly worry about it. The class of women I attract demonstrates that I look fine, but I just can't be comfortable. And I have absolutely nothing against other people who are fat.