Boner Kawanger

So Michael Clarke Duncan will be in any movie.

The empty arena match is one of my favorite things that I've seen on 24/7, due mostly to Funk but in part to Lance Russell's blase attitude; he seems genuinely annoyed to be there.

When Swagger debuted, he did a Blue Thunder Powerbomb instead of a Doctor Bomb, and Striker dubbed it the Red, White, and Blue Thunder. So I just call it the Red, White, and Blue Bomb, making it something like Batista/Demon Bomb, where there are two different names.

The vignette that comes across as a cross between Godzilla / King Kong and the Ghostbusters scene with the Stay Puff Marshmellow man would have been awesome.

Howard the Duck meets Jabba the Hutt as originally intended in the shooting script. Also, all of Lea Thompson's songs have been overdubbed with all new musical numbers.

Venkman beat me to posting Michael Cole Bingo. What a cunning viper!

I'd go to the Impact Zone if there were more drunk cougars in the audience but as it stands I've yet to give TNA one red cent, including the time when they offered a one-cent pay per view

I really enjoyed the Rey/Jericho match. It had a couple of moves I feel like I've only seen in that match, such as the super gorilla press slam and the top top springboard 180 Frankensteiner. And to showcase the spectrum of my taste in wrestling, I kinda liked the atrocious, mindbogglingly long Lawler/Mero match, mostly for Lawler's cheap tactics. Plus, partly due to Lawler wrestling, we get Cornette on commentary, is pretty funny throughout. His disgusted reaction to Goldust is the highlight.

The only thing that could make the Clone Saga worse would be replacing Spider-Man's history with 'Taker and Kane's convoluted continuity

Those who don't learn from the history of TNA are doomed to watch it.

Kane wore a contact that blanked out his iris, due to the fire that burned his entire body. So he had only one working eye.

Sting and Abyss had some kind of a floating coffin match complete with Styrofoam coffins and fake candelabras

How do you feel about "visionary director Zack Snyder"?

I believe so

We'd need to be getting Thunder for some rock rock never stop action with Marty.

I know we're way past MizTV at this point, but my roommate and I became obsessed with all the bad music videos, especially the mysterious Piper video. Anyways, when I was looking it up on YouTube and found clips of Piper promoting the song as a single on some European morning show. Still doesn't explain the origin, but I found it mildly interesting.

On a similar note, my parents' cable provider is about to drop NBC, which is something I can't say I've ever heard of happening.

They're probably lax due to the holiday. You should call and threaten to cancel your service altogether. I seriously haven't had a single problem since I did that, which is a huge improvement over not being able to access the stuff that was never posted in the first place.

You know (you know) What me say Marley's dead I hear them shoutin I hear them cryin Because He woke up in a badman place Where it no safe you could run for days You can't get away I bring relief for sorrow and pain You should of never tried get in my face And it's a shame (what a shame) He lose his life He have no (no) more (more) time Your destiny (knee) is (is) mine (here them callin) Marley's dead (I hear them callin) Marley's dead (I hear them shoutin) Marley's dead I hear them cryin Marley's dead (I hear them callin) You know (you know) What me say, boo

Jeff's an artist. That is, after all, his painting, man.

It wasn't the first time a girl had blindfolded me, but it had never happened in a car before. Luckily, I was in the passenger seat, otherwise this amazing story would be lost. Lost like tears in the rain. How deep. Karen was a cool enough girl. Kinda cute, but her best friend was constantly at her side and even more constantly gorgeous, so that hindered her a bit. It didn't matter. She was nice to me and, over the Christmas break, she'd actually gone out of her way to help me out. The troubles of the auto industry had forced my parents into another state, and Karen was one of the few people who fed me while I waited for mom and dad to return home. Genuine care is hard to come by in my hometown, unless you're looking for someone who cares too much about drugs. I don't do drugs. Just marijuana. Yeah, that's from Half Baked. Almost verbatim. I woke up in the guest room of my best friend, Will. Longtime TSM devotees may recall that I had troubles with producers from MTV in the past, and Will was right alongside me. His parents were out of town for a short term basis, and we had thrown a party at his house the night before. Since he wouldn't be awake until five in the evening, I crept downstairs to make a sandwich. My phone rang. It was Karen. She had to take a trip a few hours north. I asked where she was going. She couldn't tell me, so I immediately knew where we were going. I met up with her soon, and we hit the interstate. This was last year, so the remembrances are as scarce as they are inconsequential. As we crossed a state line, she told me to wrap her scarf around my eyes. Never one to deny a lady, I did so without question. I guess if people weren't so willing to be blindfolded to be driven to the Batcave in old Batman stories, I'd have protested, but here we are. If I may interject a thought, I'd like to offer up the fact that I was obsessed with Batman as a child, which may explain my fascination with secret passages. I think that deep down everyone wishes that the book they pull from a shelf will swing a hidden door open to a Nazi laboratory or a spiral stone staircase into the unknown. This becomes important later. We arrived at a house (or so I assume, as I was still blindfolded), and she led me inside. Karen said she had something in the basement to show me. Blindfolded and being led into a strange basement, I wondered what would be worse-being held against my will until I was forced to eat my own excrement or having my asshole torn asunder by a 90-pound girl wearing a strap-on. Then I wondered which one of those thoughts have me half a woody. Karen removed the scarf. As my eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lighting, I was relieved to see no torture rack or shackles. Kinda. We were just in someone's marginally cool basement, complete with a pool table. "Do you play?" Karen asked me, an excitement in her eyes that pool doesn't generate for anyone. I answered her, "Not very well". "Try it out," she commanded. I walked over to the wall and reached for the first pool cue on the left. As I felt the weight of it in my hand, I heard Karen say "Not that one". "Don't tell me how to handle my stick, please." I'd been watching too many Roger Moore-era James Bond movies, and I somehow was failing to get my double entendres to that level. "I just think you'd have better luck with the third one," she replied. I shrugged. If I'd allowed her to practically abduct me here, I may as well be taking her advice. I felt the pool cue in my hand but something was different. I couldn't pick it up. But I could pull it. I did, and I heard a clank. Something had been unlocked. No. Impossible. The wall swung open. A hidden panel. For what sinister purpose, I couldn't tell, because the basement had been illumined by sunlight. Artificial sunlight. My eyes focused again. Karen had brought me to a small grow operation, hidden away by a secret passage. Stuff that had passed the High Times centerfold contest. The same stuff that a Grammy award winning band came by and picked up whenever they could. Stuff that smells like what a skunk would smell like if that aroma was considered pleasing. It wasn't a giant harvest, bit it dwarfed the pool table. It may as well have been a field. A sight upon which I may have wept, had I any tears left. Now I don't want to push a drug agenda or come off looking like a stoner, so I won't say whether or not we smoked a shit ton of fire weed, but I did bang Karen on the pool table. Twice.

I assume its because Helms and Kizarny are legitimately old friends with the Hardyz and E&C respectively.

Agreed. I find wrestling to be so much more enjoyable now that I don't take it as seriously as I did in the early days of the board. Having 24/7 helps a little, as I'm sure Venk will agree.

Is there an appendix of the former names of posters who have changed their name?