Phoenix Fury Legdrop

CABOOSE We're back on HeldDOWN~!, and I think we've just see exactly how ballsy Hoff can be. COACH Standing up to a man as big and mean as Gibraltar does take some guts. COLE Speaking of ballsy, how ballsy will the superstars of the OAOAST be come April 25th, as we present our next huge Pay-Per-View spectacular, The Year of Living Angleously, which already has its main event signed, as for the first time in history, OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu will go head-to-head with former X Champion and current Totally Endorsed member Sly "The Sly" Sommers! COACH I cannot wait for that match, or that entire show! COLE And now let’s take it to Jackie, who has one of our newest superstars in the back. Jackie? *The camera cuts back to Jackie Gayda standing backstage with “Reckless” Drek Stone. Drek begins to fix the jacket of his seemingly-expensive Armani suit as Jackie is speaking to the home viewers. Giving a smirk to the camera, he pulls a comb out of his front pocket and starts to methodically run it through his hair. Finally, once he’s finished grooming, he clasps both hands in front of himself* JACKIE Thanks, Michael. Folks, I’m back here with one of the newest acquisitions to OAOAST, Drek Stone. Mr. Stone, could you tell me…. DREK Whoa, whoa, whoa…..don’t you worry your pretty, little face about introductions. Jackie, I have this one. Why don’t you walk your cute, little BUTT out of here and leave this to a man. Okay, toots? JACKIE Whatever. *Jackie leaves the backstage scene* DREK *smirking* Now, ladies and gentlemen, I warn you. Don’t think your television set has decided to begin playing tricks on you. In all reality, it’s actually telling you the truth. It's not impossible! There CAN be one man that is completely flawless. There CAN be one man that is the utter Total Package. And yes, people, there CAN be one man that is absolutely faultless…a Greek God if you will. And, in case you didn’t catch the name the first time, let me mention it again. This example of perfection goes by the name of DREK STONE! COACH God, what an ego CABOOSE You call that an ego, Coach? I call it confidence! DREK So…..I’m sure everyone here now has one burning question on their mind. Something that they are just begging to hear an answer for. “Why, Drek? Why are you here?” Why am I here, you ask? Because……as a professional wrestler…..I have an obligation to be here. Look at the statistics. Before making my way into the OAOAST, I was the Heavyweight Champion of three different federations. THREE! These companies were nothing before I arrived! However, once I became the representative of these federations, business absolutely skyrocketed. Arenas were being sold out, the companies were taking in truckfuls of money…..hell, David Letterman and Jay Leno were having bidding wars with one another to get me on their show! Every single time I became the champion, I was a runaway promotional machine. I brought those companies to heights they never reached before, and heights they would never reach again……which is why I am now here. I feel obligated to do the same to the OAOAST. To remove it from the status of being an absolute joke and actually making it something. Who the hell is going to do that? Alfdogg? Calvin Szechstein? Zack Malibu?! Jokes. All of them. An embarrassment to the sport, and I actually feel myself getting less talented as I stand in the same arena as them. I need to fix this mess. I need to do what I have done three times before. And you people….and these guys in the back…..they might not welcome me now. But soon, they will thank me. They will get on their hands and knees, and KISS my freshly-polished shoes. I will do what needs to be done. With my unsurpassed athletic skills and absolutely flawless physical features, I will be the epitome of the OAOAST savior. You all WILL thank me later. COLE Who asked for this guy to save the OAOAST? We don’t need him. The federation is better than ever! CABOOSE Oh stop it, Cole. It’s becoming a sinking ship, and Drek Stone is here to save it. Thank GOD! DREK Finally……wait, wait, folks, hold on a second. *Out of the corner of his eye, Drek sees Simon Stone walking towards the locker room.* DREK Hey Simon……….SIMON……..come over for a second. *Simon Stone walks up to Reckless with a smile on his face*. DREK Don’t tell me…..are you Simon Stone? THE Simon Stone?! You can’t POSSIBLY be the Simon Stone I’ve heard so much about! SIMON Heh, yes sir, I am. DREK Oh, this is quite an honor. It truly is. You see, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time. SIMON Really? Thanks! It truly means a lot to me to hear that. But do you mind if I ask why? DREK Oh, no problem. See, I’ve been watching OAOAST programming off-and-on for the past couple of months now. And you…..YOU, friend…..were one of the people that caught my eye. And you know why that is? SIMON *shakes head* No….. DREK Because…..you’ve made a complete MOCKERY out of my name! *Drek Stone plants a hard punch across the cheek of Simon Stone. Simon immediately crumbles to the ground, not expecting such a cheap shot. Drek grabs Simon’s hair with one hand, and begins to punch him in the face with the other. He quickly picks Simon off the ground, gets a solid grasp of his head, and absolutely RAMS it into a nearby wall.* COLE Oh my god, what the hell was THAT for?! COACH This makes me sick! *Simon has absolutely no idea where he is at this point, but this doesn’t stop Drek at all. Once again, he picks Simon up off the floor. This time, he walks with him for a short distance before stopping in front of the locker room doors. He grabs Simon’s arm and gives him a VICIOUS irish-whip into the steel doors. Upon impact, the doors slams open and Simon is rolled into the locker room. Drek follows him and quickly picks up the clearly-in-pain Simon Stone.* DREK You son-of-a-bitch! Do you realize what you’ve DONE?! You nearly RUINED the wrestling name of Stone. Do you realize that?! DO YOU?! Thank God there are people like me to save it! But you…..you’re worthless!! *Drek grabs Simon by the back of his head and smoothly slams it into a nearby locker. After nearly five different collisions, he lets Simon prop himself up on one of the lockers. He grabs a closeby metal folding chair and begins to chuckle to himself. Finally, he pulls the chair back and absolutely DRILLS Simon in the head with it. Finally, Simon slumps to the ground. He is an absolute, bloody mess.* COACH Why did he have to do that? Huh?! People SIT on those chairs!! *Drek Stone finally stands over Simon, looking at the damage he has just caused.* DREK Simon, realize this. There is only room for ONE Stone here in the OAOAST. I don’t want to see you SOIL my name anymore. Do you realize the damage you could have caused?! How you might have almost GROUNDED the shooting rocket that has been my career?! It won’t happen again! I’ll make SURE OF IT!! *He makes sure to give Simon a few more extra stomps, just to add insult to injury.* COLE That was disgusting. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING what he just did to Simon Stone. CABOOSE Hey now, let’s not jump to premature conclusions. I mean….Simon WAS ruining the name of Stone. COACH Somebody needs to teach this Drek Stone something about respect here in the OAOAST. *Drek Stone starts to walk out of the locker room until he stops in front of a mirror. He slowly pulls out a comb, and once again begins to methodically run it through his hair. After combing his hair, he makes sure to fix his jacket and verify that both sides are even. Finally, he takes a long look at the time on his silver watch and silently laughs to himself. He winks at the reflection staring back at him in the mirror, and leaves the locker room and an unconscious Simon Stone.* COLE He actually took time to fix himself after that brutal attack just now. My god, what a despicable ego! COACH Correction. What a despicable human being. CABOOSE What a great set of hair! Backstage, ABE VIGODA~! walks down a hallway, and stares at the door on his left, marked "D.O.A. Abe Vigoda". VIGODA DOA? I haven't even better here a night and people are wishing death on me? Josh Matthews, who is a few feet away, comes over. JOSH~! No, Mr. Vigoda, it means Director of Authority. Here, go on in and sit down. VIGODA Ah, thank you young man. Are you my coffee boy? JOSH~! Uh...no sir, I'm Josh Matthews. You know, TOUGH ENOUGH? The Stone Cold Pimp of the Nation? VIGODA Pimp? Then where's your funny hat? JOSH~! I...uh... VIGODA Nevermind. Look, I've got some work to do, so you'll need to excuse me. I...now what the hell is this? Abe reaches down, and pulls a spoon off his seat. VIGODA Is this your doing? Some type of prank? JOSH~! Why no sir, I... VIGODA Are you saying you want to spoon me? Josh, most likely disgusted by the image of spooning Abe Vigoda, can't even respond, as he runs out of the room covering his mouth, holding back his lunch. VIGODA Heh. Kids these days. We then cut to a shot in the back as Peter Knight, with bandaged nose and black eye to go along with his other aches and pains, walks through the corridors. The crowd cheers him out of respect for his performance at Anglemania. COLE: Here’s a man you have to take your hat off to. CABOOSE: Why? Have you forgotten that he LOST on Sunday? COLE: Knight gave it his all in that match, but just couldn’t hang on long enough against Sly Sommers. CABOOSE: Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m not exactly erecting monuments to the guy right now. COACH: Is he headed out here? He does not. Instead, Knight stops in front of a door, lets out a sigh, and steps inside the room. As the door shuts behind him, the camera pans over to reveal a plaque reading “OaOast G.M.: Northstar.” The door clicks shut as we fade to the break. *Commercial*

COACH We're back, and...wow. Just wow. I cannot believe what we just saw. MC Abe flippin' Vigoda is OUR new Director of Authority...what's next, Jackie Gayda interviewing Hoff backstage? The cameras cut to the backstage garage area, and a cheer goes up from the fans as we see Hoff walking into the arena! Dressed in his street clothes, a pair of sunglasses on his face, Hoff walks with a purpose...but is quickly stopped by Jackie Gayda, microphone in hand. JACKIE Hoff, hi! Um, everybody wants to know -- how do you feel? Hoff looks at Jackie slowly, then looks down as he slowly pulls his sunglasses off. Hoff looks up at the ceiling, then back to Jackie. He breathes deeply. HOFF How do I feel... Hoff cocks his head slightly as a small "Hoff" chant breaks out over the arena. A half-smile creeps onto his face. HOFF How do I feel...let me tell you, Jackie. There's a lot of things I could feel right now. I could feel ashamed...embarassed. I could feel like a loser. The fans boo. HOFF I could feel pain. Hell, I do feel pain. I feel a lot of things right now. But most of all, I feel....good. The fans begin to cheer again. Hoff smiles wider now. HOFF Because you see, Jackie, last Sunday I went into Anglemania with something to prove. I went in with a chip on my shoulder. And in that ring I gave everything I had. I gave myself to the match. And even though things didn't go as planned... Here Hoff pauses, smirks, and the fans cheer louder. HOFF When these fans did what they did to me, when they let me know that they cared and respected me, it was like that chip fell right off my shoulder. The fans go wild. Jackie smiles, and Hoff smiles back at her before continuing. HOFF I don't know what's coming next for me. I don't even know what's coming yet tonight. But there was a fan last Sunday who had a very prophetic sign, and that sign said, "Hoff is the future." And I believe that. The fans go BANANA and NUT all at once! HOFF I believe that down to my very soul. So yeah, Jackie... Hoff brushes Jackie's cheek and grins. HOFF ...cutie... Jackie smiles wide and blushes. HOFF I guess you could say I feel....good. The chant of "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" swells over the arena as Hoff gives Jackie one last, long look, and walks away. Jackie looks in the direction Hoff walked away in for a loooong moment, before snapping back to reality and looking into the camera. JACKIE (blushing) Michael, Coach, Caboose...back to you. The camreas cut back to 'da SC, where Caboose has an absolutely disgusted look on his face. CABOOSE I cannot believe this guy. COACH What? CABOOSE Oh, come on. First he's Mr. Badass, now he's Goody-Two Shoes? Whatever. COLE He's trying to change, Caboose! CABOOSE Whatever. And don't get me started on that despicable display with poor Jackie Gayda. COACH I think she kind of liked it, 'Booze! And what's the matter, don't you like the ladies? CABOOSE That's NOT IT at all, I'm just-- COACH Jealous? COLE Oh, TAG~! Coach dances in his seat as Caboose fumes COLE --Folks, we've just gotten word from the back that tonight, right here on HeldDOWN, we will see Hoff take on the brand-new 24/7 champion, Crystal, for the title! COACH CRYSTAL!!!!! COLE Coach? COACH CRYSTAL!!!!!! COLE I think he's still a little excited over Crystal's big win at Anglemania. COACH CRYSTAL!!!!!!!! CABOOSE Well, obviously. COLE We've got a lot more action ahead-- COACH Yeah and CRYSTAL! LIVE! TONIGHT!!!! COLE That's huge, but up next on Held... (Out of nowhere, The Minions (Michael and Nathaniel) come out to the ring, without entrance music and in t-shirts and jeans as opposed to their usual altar boy robes. They then grab the house microphone from Michael Buffer.) MICHAEL Excuse us, but we have something we would like to get across... COACH These guys TALK?!?!?!?!? MICHAEL Sunday night, we got our rear ends handed to us by a couple of guys who, quite frankly, we don't like. But, after the great series of matches we had with them, we have no choice but to respect them. (hands mic to Nathaniel) NATHANIEL So...Global Party Exchange, get your butts on out here! We have something we want to say to you! ("Make Her Say" starts up...but suddenly, the PA system scratches, and the lights go out. The lights come back up, and both Minions are laid out in the center of the ring, with Nathaniel's forehead bleeding. Saint Andrew and Gibraltar are standing above them, and Gibraltar throws down a bent chair that he had in his hand, looking as if he had come in and bashed both Minions over the head with it. Andrew has the microphone.) ANDREW All I've done for you...and THIS is the thanks I get? I picked you two up off of the street, and I gave you a place of shelter! I gave you two a home when your drunken, abusive father wouldn't let you back into your own! I gave you two something to believe in, back when your lives were so hectic that you didn't believe in anything! Most importantly of all, I gave you two a family, back when the people that were supposed to fill that role were too busy in-fighting and shunning you two! MC This is pretty deep stuff here. ANDREW I brought you two under my wing, and made it one of my missions in life to make life good for you two, as long as you followed my word. So, what did you do to thank me for my tutelage and leadership? After the grueling match that you two had on Sunday night, you chose to show respect to two lowly, gluttonous, disrespectful, good-for-nothing, blasphemous sinners! You shook their hands like they were worth something! Then, you came out here tonight and broke one of my golden rules: thou shall not speak unless spoken to! COACH I wish Saint Andrew would follow that rule! ANDREW I don't know where I went wrong with you two. What I do know is that you two have been excommunicated from the church for life! (A group of trainers and referees come to the ring to help Nathaniel and Michael out, but Gibraltar charges towards them to keep them out) ANDREW Gibraltar, it's okay...back up, let them clear our sanctuary of the sinners. (Gibraltar walks back to Andrew, and Nathaniel and Michael get helped to the back) ANDREW Now that I have that out of the way, I would like to shine the perennial light on the man in this ring that truly deserves it, and that's....ME! Why? I found a merely self-destructive, albeit gigantic man and turned him into the single most monstrous force that this promotion has ever seen! On Sunday night, Gibraltar hit the apex of his career thus far, and sent the man who was supposedly the most destructive monster in the history of this company in Brock Auustin, and sent him and that fat load Rick Heyross packing! COACH That's merely speculation, but they aren't here tonight. But, Gibraltar did win decisively at Anglemania III. ANDREW Therefore, it is safe to say that Gibraltar is now the best monster in the business... ("Black" starts playing over the PA system, and out comes Hoff to a sizeable ovation. Hoff quickly walks to the ring, and pulls a microphone out of the pocket of his jeans.) HOFF So, I hear you out here talking about how Gibraltar is supposedly the "best big man in the business", and how he is supposedly "the most destructive force anyone's ever seen", eh? ANDREW He's definately more monstrous than you! HOFF (softly laughs to himself) I swear, I just heard you say that the big galoof standing behind you is bigger, badder, and better than me. ANDREW That's because I did, you simpleton! HOFF That makes you an idiot. See, I don't like idiots. And what do I do to people I don't like? That's right, I beat the hell out of them! Hoff drops his microphone, and clotheslines Andrew out of his boots. He goes to put the boots to Andrew, but Gibraltar comes from behind and delivers a knee to Hoff's back. Gibraltar then forearms Hoff in the back of the head as he turns him around to send him off to the ropes. Gibraltar goes for a clothesline as Hoff bounces off the ropes, but Hoff ducks it. Gibraltar turns around and takes a big step backwards as Hoff charges at him, and clotheslines Gibraltar over the top rope! Gibraltar lands on his feet, and Andrew, holding his chest in pain, walks over to order Gibraltar to the locker room. Gibraltar charges onto the apron for a second before listening to Andrew and going to the backstage area, keeping his eyes locked on Hoff during his entire walk up the aisle. MC We thought we were done with feuding monsters on HeldDOWN~! COACH Just like with Brock and Gibraltar; for the sake of my own life, I hope that I am nowhere near the collision point when this explosion finally happens! CABOOSE All I know is that I hope that Gibraltar wipes the earth of this blasphemous glutton! MC Since when did you get religious? CABOOSE Shut up, you buffoon! COACH Both of you need to shut up; more hD~! in three!

You guys have an obvious lack of IWA Mid-South in your lives, hehe. Ian Rotten is the new king of the notorious stiff beatings. His destructions of Peter B. Beautiful and Dysfunction are infamous amongst IWA fans. You can see most of the crowd literally screaming for Ian to stop killing Dysfunction by the end. Then there's this year's TPI, where he took on the first student to come out of his and Chris Hero's wrestling school: Mickie Knuckles. She asked to take Tracey Smothers's spot in the TPI, so Ian told her that he was going to fight her like a man; and fight like a man he did. He absolutely obliterrated poor Mickie, though I've heard it was nothing compared to training sessions that Ian & Hero have run. At the Q&A session the next day, Mickie looked like she had been in a car wreck or something. She couldn't talk correctly because her tongue was so swollen, and she had a bruise that was the perfect design of Ian's boot print on her throat. There's also the three-way tag from "S.T.I.F.F." where the Lancasters (twin brothers who look like really young Crash Holly clones and suck in the ring) got just about murdered by Ian Rotten, Axl Rotten, Brad Bradley, and Ryan Boz all at the same time. To say it was fun watching those two get destroyed in person is an understatement. But yeah...you haven't seen a stiff beating until you've seen an IWA Mid-South stiff beating.

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start (in shorthand, the Contra Code) - Jimmy Jacobs Webb of Death (or anything involving Nate2P) - "Spyder" Nate Webb Hangman's Clutch - Chris Hero Chemical Imbalance II - Delirious And, of course, the biggest, baddest, too hot fo' TV fo' sheezy finish in the business today, the PHOENIX FURY LEGDROP~! - Salvatore Rinauro

Saint Andrew will address The Minions' show of respect to the GPX after the TLC match at Anglemania III. And yes, Zack's segment will have some interesting developments. Muhahaha...nevermind.

I'm trying to raise money for my trip to the Wizard Comic Convention in Chicago this summer, as well as IWA Mid-South's King of the Deathmatches in June and the big double-shot weekend coming up in a few weeks, and I'm looking to get rid of some tapes at the same time. I have every WWE PPV from Vengeance 2003 to No Way Out 2004, as well as most of the TNA PPV's from August 2003 to early-2004, and am getting more as the weeks go by. I also got a few ECW tapes from Pioneer, as well as Anarchy Rulz 2000 (Jerry Lynn's World Title win). If anyone wants that new Taker DVD, I got that too. Nothing's priced above $10, but shipping will cost $2. If anyone's interested, either PM me or e-mail me at [email protected] Thanks.

I'm fastly becoming my favorite person not named "Caboose" too; what a coincidence, hehe. Seriously, thanks for the praise, Caboose and PK. The TLC & BoTM matches are up now, if anyone wants to read or anything.

Yeah, they kind of had to, since Corporal Robinson completely f-cked up and blurted it out during his promo last night. You could even see Ian off to the side, just shaking his head. I can't wait until Simply the Best/April Bloodshowers weekend. I will be attending both, and they look loaded as hell.

Either I'm blind, or Gibraltar/Brock and the TLC match weren't posted, and I sent those both in on Monday.

Brad Bradley d. Austin Aries (Bradley worked over the back; stiff work; Bradley starting to rip off Samoa Joe a bit too much) Corp. Robinson & "The Tremendous" Emil Sitoci d. The Highlanders (Corp. bled hardway a minute into the match; Highlanders work a Scottish gimmick and can work a decent old-style tag match) Chad Collyer d. Conrad Kennedy III (Good technical match, and Collyer actually showed charisma for the first time I've ever seen) "Spyder" Nate Webb d. Jaimy Coxxx (Nate changed entrance music from "Teenage Dirtbag" to The Darkness's "I Believe In a Thing Called Love", but used "Teenage Dirtbag" for his exit and hilarious dance routine as the bottom rope was being reattached to the ring) Nigel McGuinness d. Petey Williams (30 minutes, brilliant match) Danny Daniels & Ryan Boz d. Steve Stone & Ian Rotten in a stretcher match after Ian's wife Patti ordered the match stopped due to the amount of blood that her husband was bleeding (Wild match; even wilder post-match with all the characters above and Brad Bradley fighting, with even Patti throwing chairs at the heels to get them out of the ringside area)

It was a pretty good show. Anyone who says Petey Williams "sucks" needs to watch his match with Nigel on tape from last night, and watch their words get shoved down their throats, because Petey/Nigel was unbelieveable. It's an early MOTY candidate for me. One last thing: the morons running the new production crew MUST leave all of Nate's antics from last night's show on the tape. Four words: Teenage Dirtbag Conga Line. The dance-off with Jaimy Coxxx was also really funny, as was Nate getting random old people to dance with him and his interaction with Corporal Robinson.

From the Wildside message board...

The description sounds like Ryan Boz, but I haven't heard confirmation yet.

Link to Story

Crap, wrong folder (I think). Whoever has the power, could you move this to CE?

You do realize that TNA can just make up a different last name for Brookside and don't really care about any other guys named that, don't you? I mean, I don't know 100 percent if it's wrong or right, but it would make a lot more sense than a guy that's unknown to even a lot of his own countrymen.

Rumor going around is that Dynamite is actually Robbie Brookside, who is harder than hell to get to the States.

Man, Petey vs. Nigel in Lafayette next week is going to be SOOOOOO good. I praise Allah for the fact that I'll be in attendance.

First off...Barber, I'm pretty sure that's the "official fansite" for Hero, not Hero's actual website. I'm going by people I talk to who have collections of older IWA shows, from 2000-2001, when Hero, Punk, and the ilk were still practically unknowns, and heard whoever was doing commentary list the numbers of the HC's off. The regular one's obviously #1, the Crossface version is either #3 or #4 (pretty sure it's #4), and whichever one the Crossface version isn't is the number for the standing version. But, I can't remember for the life of me what #2 is. Markingout, your description sounds like the regular Hangman's Clutch.

Chris Hero Ian Rotten Salvatore Rinauro Azrael Danny Daniels Nigel McGuinness Petey Williams Matt Sydal Delirious "Spyder" Nate Webb

There's four different versions of the Hangman's Clutch, including a standing version of the regular one. I believe the one identified as #2 is actually #4.

Added: TLC Match: Minions vs. GPX

"The Current Big Thing" Brock Auustin vs. an enhancement talent Sly Sommers get a public forum to address a few things And...I dunno. Maybe other stuff.

According to a statement released by the Insane Clown Posse that Bob Magee posted on PWBTS, they, along with Rude Boy and 2 Tuff Tony, have parted ways with NWA-TNA. Link to the statement here.

Battle of the Monsters: Gibraltar vs. Brock Auustin #1 Contender to the HeldDOWN~! World Title: Sly "The Sly" Sommers vs. Peter Knight