Tony149

Courtesy of LIM. DING DING DING! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from the southside of Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at an even two hundred pounds…Nathan Baumgarten! A young man in tattered clothing and shoulder-length hair covering his face briefly raises his hand as his name is announced. BUFFER His opponent…from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred seventy-five pounds…Tommy G.! COLE Tommy G. coming off of a big win over Todd Cortez. Let’s see how the young rookie from Minneapolis fares against him tonight. COACH This “young rookie” looks like a lowlife. DING DING! Lockup. Kick to the mid-section by Tommy G. Club to the back of the neck. Baumgarten goes to the mat. Tommy G. drops three quick knees to the neck and brings Baumgarten back to his feet. Irish whip into the corner. G. charges and delivers a spinning back elbow. Baumgarten falls to the mat. G. jumps to the top turnbuckle. Baumgarten slowly gets up and turns to face G., who jumps and executes a tornado DDT. COLE Tommy Gun! 1 2 3 DING DING DING! BUFFER The winner of this match…Tommy G.! Tommy G. picks up Baumgarten and throws him over the top rope to the outside. TOMMY G. (Give me the stick!) That overgrown ragamuffin on the floor right there was only a little easier to beat than Todd Cortez was. If this is the best that OAOAST has to offer, it’s going to be an easy climb to the top. The climb on the ladder made out of Cortez’s bones. VOICE HEY! Todd Cortez comes out onto the entrance ramp. TODD CORTEZ You will not marginalize me that way! You think you’re some kind of tough guy? Why, because you worked as some kind of low level enforcer for a small time loanshark? Or maybe you were at a bouncer at some night club? You son of a bitch, you will not marginalize me! I am the Urban Legend! Next week, I want a street fight match with you! Tell me you accept! Tell me! TOMMY G. Ha ha ha! You want a street fight with me? Of course I accept. In fact, let’s start right now! Tommy G. slides out of the ring and charges Cortez, who runs toward the ring. Eleven men in black shirts jump from the sides of the ramp, block the path of the men. COLE The OAOAST has been beefing up security in light of recent events! And next week we apparently have a street fight! COACH We might have one right now! The camera closes in on both wrestlers’ faces, snarling while being restrained by security. COLE Security has the situation well in hand. What turmoil Tommy G. has causes since coming to OAOAST!

It’s officially summer now because our shows have heated up! Vintage Krista to start the show. And then we get a rematch from the GAB with wild stipulations! Muchas gracias to Patty for his help on the LDC/VICE and Team Heyross/OCC promos. at Bosley. Benjamin/Synth vs. Denzel/Moss: at Team Heyross being on opposing teams. Nice little exchange between them though. A second is in order for the reunion of Strutter/Pantera. As usual, Zack brings the awesome with a strong promo featuring him and AS. Who’s the dude replacing the Birdman for CMJ? I wanna say it’s the new Captain Kirk. Right? Wrong? Alf/Reject: Loser Leaves Town? A third is required for that! Duncan Family Fun = RATINGS~! Fun 8-man tag with CI vs. Love Docs/Los Diablos. Rico/Spencer vs. CMJ/Leon: It’s like Slamboree ‘96 with all the tag teams on opposite teams! Bo vs. Leon at the Chi-Town Spectacular. I need a fourth for that! MOTN: CI vs. Love Docs/Los Diablos Quote of the Show: “Oh, right in the SKULL with the SKULL, SKULL to SKULL!!” -- Cole

Hey Patty, in case you missed it, Zack wrote a promo for the show over at The Pit.

8-Man Tag The LDC Moneygang & V.I.C.E. vs. Team Heyross & The Orange County Cobras And if I have time... The Last Kings of Scotland vs. Citizen Soldiers * EDIT: * I might save that match for HD instead

Ah, so you went ahead with the change already, huh? I thought they were still that sinister looking dude with all the tattoos.

Patty Rule in effect. “Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Citizen Soldier TIM CASH… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds.,, "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEEELLLLLSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BW and Cash show love to their fans on the way down the aisle, but it’s all business once they reach the ring. COLE What an opportunity this evening for Baron Windels competing for the World Heavyweight Title. And quite frankly, I’m shocked Theodore Moneymaker has decided to be a fighting champion. I never would have expected that out of him. Green and yellow lights swirl across the area as Theodore Moneymaker is carried to the ring on his golden throne to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. Along with him is his spiritual guide Abdullah Nerdly. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Vero Beach, Floridia, and weighing 236 pounds... he is the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE and the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker rises from his throne and enters the ring with Abdullah, who produces a microphone. ABDULLAH Brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, on behalf of your World Champion I regret to inform you there will be NO title defense here tonight. CROWD :huh: COLE I knew it was too good to be true. A man like Theodore Moneymaker clings to power. The words fighting champion wouldn’t be in his vocabulary. COACH Kind of like “out on a date with a woman” wouldn’t be in yours. ABDULLAH You see, this open contract was booked when Krista Isadora Duncan was still World Champion, a dark time in OAOAST history. However, that cloud has been lifted and the angels once again sing now that Brother Moneymaker is your World Champion. What that means is, after successfully defended his championship last week, Brother Moneymaker is under no obligation to compete in a title match for another 23 days. But let not your heart be troubled. Brother Moneymaker is all for helping a person in need, like Baron Windels. And what Brother Baron needs is… Tired of the talking Baron clotheslines Abdullah and Moneymaker! COACH How dare Baron Windels lay his filthy paws on two of the most revered figures in the world today, Cole. * DINGDINGDING * Grabbed by his collar Abdullah is TOSSED over the top rope! His back turned BW catches a knee right in the lower lumbar region. Trapped like a rat in the corner, BW is subjected to a series of knife-edge chops, but he reverses a whip and decks Moneymaker with a Cowboy Bebop elbow square between the eyes! The cover. ONE! TW-- KICKOUT! BW fires Moneymaker into the ropes and raises THE BIG BOOT…but Abdullah pulls Moneymaker out to safety. COLE Hey, come on now. Just because Abdullah Nerdly is Theodore Moneymaker’s spiritual guide doesn’t mean he can stay ringside and interfere. COACH Abdullah didn’t interfere, you idiot. He pulled a man to safety. Need I remind you that Abdullah is a man of peace? COLE A piece of work is what he is alright. BW reaches through the ropes as Moneymaker and Abdullah share a brotherly hug and gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW suplexes Moneymaker back inside and covers him. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW positions Moneymaker for THE SUPERPLEX, but the Billion Dollar Heir rakes the eyes and shoves him to the mat. Looking to deliver a double axe handle smash, Moneymaker gets caught on the way down with a shot to the gut, but quickly recovers when BW attempts a bulldog, using their momentum to CROTCH the Lone Star Gunslinger on the middle turnbuckle! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Men the world over are feeling Baron’s pain right now. COACH Except you, Cole, because you have a vagina! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Moneymaker puts the boots to BW, and then dumps him outside to catch a breather. COLE You better keep a close eye on Abdullah Nerdly, ref. COACH Quit racially profiling, Cole. Abby’s minding his own business. For a short time he does. Once the referee turns his back Abdullah rushes over to get in a few licks of his own! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You call that minding your own business? More like sticking your nose in other people’s business I say. Abdullah scrams when Tim Cash goes after him. Luckily for the self-proclaimed Inspirational Leader, Cash is restrained by the referee as he returns to Moneymaker’s corner to give praises. COLE What a snake in the grass he is. COACH And what a dumb ass you are. Moneymaker rolls BW back in and drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker scoops BW for a slam, but gets wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker pops to his feet and nails BW with a BILLION $ KNEELIFT! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Moneymaker stalks BW, then tries to lock him in THE BANK VAULT, but BW charges the corner and drops down, causing Moneymaker to collide face-first into the buckle! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker staggers back only to be whipped across and smacked in the face by BW’s BUTT! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass, Theodore Moneymaker! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Company arrives in the form of THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND as BW climbs up top. COLE What are they doing here? COACH Getting a front row seat. And how can you blame them? This has been one helluva match. BW spots the Last Kings and wipes them out with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! COLE Scottish Scott and Danny Boy just got clobbered. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker kicks the middle rope as BW re-enters the ring, then spikes him with THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE For the second week in a row, Theodore Moneymaker capitalizes on a mistake. Like Ned Blanchard last week, Baron Windels let his guard down and paid in the end. Abdullah shoves the referee aside and awards the OAOAST Championship to Theodore Moneymaker, raising his hand in victory as Cash tends to Baron. Cash then begins to chastise Moneymaker for unsportsmanlike conduct kicking the ropes when BW was entering. Surprisingly Moneymaker agrees, only because the Last Kings of Scotland jump on Cash! MONEYMAKER :lol: COLE That’s uncalled for, damnit! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd ERUPTS as KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN storms the ring with a STEEL CHAIR. COACH It’s Krista! COLE And she’s still mad as hell! There’s no doubt about what she’s after though… Theodore Moneymaker’s blood! Moneymaker and Abdullah flee the scene, but that doesn’t stop Krista from kicking ass. She bashes the Last Kings with the chair, then climbs on the middle rope and points to Moneymaker. KRISTA :o Suddenly the rope SNAPS and Krista falls hard on her ass. The opening fanfare from "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits as Moneymaker, arms raised to the heavens, laughs while flashing "the money fingers" sign. KRISTA :angry:

Nice to see Queen Esther back in a speaking role, it’s been a while. Loved her bit with Morgan. I like J-Max’s new look, even if I don’t know the man behind the mask! Fun little match w/Abdullah that showcased J-Max. Leon got the best of Bo tonight. Holy shit! A title change! Think Patty told me about it but since my OAOAST memory is bad I forgot! Patty brings the awesome with Drag Krista to Hell. Vintage POG. And a new look for Molly I think. Heck of a US title between DS and CMJ. Heat/Biff vs. Reject/Dos: You should’ve kept the masks on Los Conquistadors Patty! But it’s all good., especially for Biff Atlas. He made it to Battlebowl! MOTN: Denzel vs. CMJ LOL Moment:

I have no objections. And damn, we could have 7 matches on the show this week. That's gotta be close to a record if not one.

Heck of a show this week I thought. Both Battlebowl matches delivered, with a shocker in match #2. Although Tommy G. interfered, I thought Zack would still somehow find a way to win being the franchise and all. WWE this ain't! Love the new Heavenly Rockers catchphrase, btw. I got a kick out of the additional 8-man tag title being one of Landon's SWF belts. He's being economical in harsh times. The stuff with Bo/Jade/Leon continues to be intriguing. Props to Patty for his job on Moneymaker's promo. MOTN: Logan Mann/Tango Bosley vs. Zack Malibu/Todd Cortez Quote of the Show: "But I embody American strength and masculine dominance, therefore I will demolish you in my first title defense." -- OAOAST Champion Theodore Moneymaker LOL Moment:

Spoiler alert: Baron and Mr. Dick win. COLE It’s Battlebowl time, fans. So without further delay let's go over to Josh Matthews and Maggie Nerdly! We cut to Josh and Maggie. JOSH Alright guys, here we go. Maggie, if you’d please draw the first name. Maggie spins the tumbler, then stops it and pulls out a plastic container. She opens it and hands the paper inside to Josh. JOSH Representing the Citizen Soldiers…TIM CASH!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash receives a high five from Baron Windels and exit’s the locker room. JOSH His partner… Maggie opens the next container and hands the paper to Josh. JOSH …representing All the Queen’s Men, one-half of the Last Kings of Scotland… DANNY BOY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scottish Scott clubs Danny across the chest to psyche him up. Queen Esther and the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club more subdued only patting him on the back. JOSH And then opponents… Josh is handed the third name. JOSH Representing the Deadly Alliance… MR. DICK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sporting a DOG COLLAR, Mr. Dick is CHAINED by Malaysia and lead to the ring. JOSH Joining him will be… Maggie hands Josh the fourth and final name. JOSH (shows Maggie the name and her jaw drops) …“THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my! COACH You’ve gotta be kidding me! The Lone Star Gunslingers reunited? Tim Cash and Danny Boy make it ringside first, followed by Mr. Dick and Baron Windels. His desire to win greater than his contempt for Baron, Mr. Dick yields to his partner‘s wishes to start. On the flip side, Danny declares himself the legal man, pushing Cash out onto the apron. * DINGDINGDING * Danny and BW lockup and Danny rakes the eyes, and then unloads with clubbing blows across the back. He whips the Lone Star Gunslinger into the ropes, but BW ducks a clothesline and delivers a BOOMERANG LARIAT! COLE The MySpace Comeback! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Whipped in, Danny grabs the top rope and tags Tim Cash. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH Won’t this be interesting? COLE For the first time ever, you’re not lying. Cash nervously enters. Even though he and BW knew this was bound to occur, it’s still uncomfortable for both. They shake hands, much to the chagrin of Mr. Dick, and lockup. Flung across by a quick arm drag BW nods approvingly from a knee. They tie-up again and this time BW slams Cash. But rather than stay on the attack BW allows Cash to return to his feet. MR. DICK :o BW and Cash lockup a third time and BW goes behind for a hammerlock. Cash counters with a drop toehold and grabs a side headlock. BW shoves Cash off and leapfrogs him on the rebound. Off the ropes Cash soars across, but BW catches him in mid-air and executes a FALLAWAY SLAM, a/k/a THE DEVIL’S ADDICTION! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash reverses a whip and hip tosses BW, then climbs up top and delivers a MISSILE DROPICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MR. DICK! But the Real American Prick isn’t done yet. He rams Cash into the buckle and hammers away until BW yanks him away. COACH What’s this idiot’s problem? COLE It’s fairly clear to me. Baron Windels want to wrestle by the book. COACH The book of what, how to lose? As the referee does his best to defuse the tension between Baron and Mr. Dick, Danny Boy dumps Cash outside and jumps on the Lone Star Gunslinger. COLE There was no tag! COACH Yeah, but at least Danny Boy is willing to do whatever it takes to win. Danny continues to pummel BW when Cash puts a stop to it. Still the legal man, Cash assists the referee escorting a reluctant Danny back to the corner. Meanwhile, BW plays possum…and wraps up Cash in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW grabs a headlock but is whipped into the ropes, decking Cash on the rebound with a shoulder tackle. The Lone Star Gunslinger charges off the near side and Cash tries to leapfrog all 6’7” of him…only to accidentally be HEADBUTTED IN THE GROIN! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” BW refuses to capitalize and he hears an earful from Mr. Dick, who tags in and immediately puts the boots to Cash. Inverted Atomic Drop is followed by a Clothesline from Hell… COACH The Cock Shock! …and then Mr. Dick diverts the referee’s attention to deliver a HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN! COLE Just Being A Dick! And a dick move that was. I mean was that was completely unnecessary. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Mr. Dick whips Cash to the buckle and charges in, but nobody’s home for the corner cross body block! Cash pounces on Dick’s mistake, executing a KNEE BREAKER INTO A BACK SUPLEX followed by THE MIDWEST SLING (Texas Cloverleaf)! COLE We cold have a submission any moment! Malaysia screams at BW to save her man and he does, shoving Cash to the mat. CASH :huh: Danny Boy tags in and stomps away on Mr. Dick. Rammed into the buckle, Mr. Dick is brought out of the corner via a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Mr. Dick slips out of an attempted slam and delivers a FACIAL~! (Discus punch) COACH That caught Danny Boy good, Cole. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE And just like that, it’s over. Wow! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing to Battlebowl, the team of MR. DICK and “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" After the match, the Last Kings of Scotland attack! COLE If I didn’t know better I’d say this was one giant setup. COACH Oh, you and your wacky conspiracy theories, Cole. His work done Mr. Dick returns backstage with Malaysia. Meanwhile, the Last Kings continue to do a number on the Citizen Soldiers. Finally OAOAST officials arrive on the scene to restore order. COLE Tensions obviously still high between the Last Kings of Scotland and the Citizen Soldiers. But we know Baron Windels and Mr. Dick will be among the 16 men entered in the battle royal on July 31 at the Chi-Town Spectacular.

“Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and Simon power walks to the ring. Ned assisted by a WALKING CANE. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Orange County Cobra NED BLANCHARD, weighing 225 pounds… "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOONN SSSSIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon removes his vest and loosens up inside. COLE 2 weeks ago at the Great Angle Bash, a special bonus match took place between the Orange County Cobras and LDC Moneygang with the winner receiving a tag team title shot at AngleSlam. But just prior to the match this happened. [b][color=red]THE GREAT[/color] ANGLE [color=blue]BASH[/color] [color=orange]COURTESY: OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT[/color][/b] [quote]Molly sprints down the aisle slapping as many hands as possible, so do Simon and Ned for that matter…UNTIL THEY’RE AMBUSHED BY V.I.C.E.! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley busts out his TELESCOPIC BATON once more to CLUB NED ACROSS THE LEG! COLE That’s uncalled for, damnit! COACH Well surprise, surprise. Now you scream bloody murder. Simon and Molly tend to Ned as OAOAST officials surround VICE. MOLLY WHY?! WHY HIM?! Now OAOAST trainers are out to check Ned.[/quote] COLE After refusing to be carted off on a stretcher, Ned Blanchard, barely able to stand, [I]tagged himself[/I] into the match! [quote]MOLLY :o Ned hobbles in and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES THE LDC MONEYGANG! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER rids the ring of CMJ, which is bad news for Reiger as he’s left alone with Ned. Begging off in the corner he’s shown no mercy. Right hand after right hand rattling his brain. Following a back elbow Ned goes for his SLINGSHOT SUPLEX…BUT CMJ CLIPS THE LEG!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING *[/quote] COLE However, the knee injury, which got aggravated in his World title match vs. Theodore Moneymaker last week, was too much for Ned to overcome. COACH Aren’t we gonna show why VICE was forced to deliver their own brand of justice, or are we playing favorites? Because the O.C. Cobras provoked VICE by costing them the tag titles earlier in the night. COLE Just as VICE cost the O.C. Cobras the tag titles at School’s Out. But right now we have to go back up to the ring for our next introduction. “In the Air Tonight” by Non-point blasts through the speakers and down the aisle VICE walk, Bosley smoking a CIGARETTE. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Miami, Florida, weighing 265, one-half of the V.I.C.E. tag team and self-proclaimed “ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP”… DETECTIVE TANGO BBBOOOOOSSSSSSSLEYYYYYYYY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Once ringside Bosley puts out the cigarette with his boot, and then enters. And Simon immediately pounces! * DINGDINGDING * Clubbing Bosley across the shoulder, Simon then shoots him off for a dropkick flush to the face, causing Bosley to bail outside. COLE You think Simon’s forgotten what Bosley did to Ned at the Great Angle Bash? COACH I’m thinking that man has a death wish. You don’t mess with the AMOG. COLE I should also note Morgan and Molly Nerdly have been barred from this one. The right move in my opinion. COACH As do I. And it’s not often I agree with you, Mikey Cole. CPA rushes over as Bosley exchanges words with hecklers. Suddenly they spot Simon, who DIVES through the ropes and onto both men! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon tosses Bosley back in and uses the ropes as a SPRINGBOARD…BUT BOSLEY NAILS HIM WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Bosley scoops Simon up and plants him with a FRONTFLIP SWINGING NECKBREAKER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Rammed into the buckle, Simon is worked over in the corner by a series of body shots. Whipped across he ducks a clothesline and takes Bosley down with a CRUCIFIX! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men pop to their feet and trade blows. Overhand chops by Simon, big roundhouses by Bosley. Ultimately Simon gains control. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Bosley RAKES THE EYES and fires Simon into the corner. He charges in but Simon moves and climbs on top. FLYING CROSSBODY…. …BUT BOSLEY ROLLS THROUGH AND GRABS THE TRUNKS!! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Ned yanks Spencer off. BOSLEY :angry: As Bosley approaches Ned he’s SCHOOL BOY’D! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Backhand chop rocks Simon, but he reverses an Irish whip and… * CR-R-R-R-R-ACK! …NED BREAKS THE CANE ACROSS BOSLEY’S BACK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" CPA :huh: Bosley stumbles forward into a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOONN SSSSIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Ned Blanchard was supposed to use that cane to walk, not as a weapon! COLE Everybody knows the history of the O.C. Cobras. They’re more than happy to get down and dirty if need be. VICE learned that tonight. Right now…

Simon Singleton vs. Tango Bosley (mistakenly said CPA) My Battlebowl match

Not sure if this will be the main event, or how the stuff at the end was supposed to go, but Patty Rule is in effect. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your MAIN EVENT, and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! For the millionth time tonight, "Scream" by Chris Cornell hits. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by fellow Orange County Cobra SIMON SINGLETON, he weighs 237 pounds… "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLAAAANCHAARD!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" His knee bandaged, Ned limps to the ring and quickly tosses his vest aside. COLE You think Ned isn’t ready? I’ve never seen him more determined in my life. COACH Speaking of life, the O.C. Cobras are running on barrowed time. They screwed VICE out of the tag titles at the Great Angle Bash. COLE What about the Moneymaker/Duncan World title match? COACH Well, the Cubs have the Curse of the Billy Goat; Krista the Curse of the Cunt! Green and yellow lights swirl across the area as Theodore Moneymaker is carried to the ring to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Vero Beach, Floridia, and weighing 236 pounds... he is the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE and the NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRLD... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker rises from his throne, mic in hand. MONEYMAKER Attention one, attention all. Your World Champion is about to speak. Showered with boos, Moneymaker scowls. MONEYMAKER Now, before this match gets underway we need to take care of some business first. Simon Singleton, you need to get your ass to the back or I‘m not defending my title. You’re a meddler. Not to mention a disgruntled former employee! SIMON :huh: MONEYMAKER Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the Great Angle Bash, which I recommend everyone catch the encore presentation of this weekend to see history made by yours truly. You and Blanchard cost V.I.C.E. the tag team title, so I wouldn’t put it past you to try to do the same to me. If I’m gonna lose… "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER :angry: …it’s because Ned was the better man, not because he had outside help. COLE Is he forgetting the Great Angle Bash? COACH That was divine intervention. Simon and Ned discuss the situation, then high five before Simon returns backstage. COLE I guess we’re gonna have a World title match then. Moneymaker disrobes and enters the ring to chants of “TEDDY SUCKS!” * DINGDINGDING * Face to face, Ned and Moneymaker exchange words. Shoving ensues and Moneymaker pie-faces Ned, who retaliates with a barrage of roundhouses! Moneymaker reverses a whip and sets for a backdrop, but Ned throws a kick and clotheslines the Billion Dollar Heir! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker tries escaping the ring but is grabbed by the hair. Ned rams Moneymaker into the buckle and backdrops him out of the far opposite corner! The early offensive onslaught causes Moneymaker to beg for mercy. Fist clinched Ned plays to the crowd, buying Moneymaker time to make his next move, hurling Ned into the turnbuckle by the trunks! COACH Would you look at that? Ned actually used his head for once! COLE Oh brother. Moneymaker slides outside and bashes Ned’s already tender knee against the ring post! Again. And again! Clutching his knee, Ned retreats to the center of the ring. Like a predator stalking its prey, Moneymaker creeps up on Ned, laughing diabolically. Repeated stomps to the knee cause Ned to scream in pain. Moneymaker places Ned’s foot on the bottom rope and crashes down with all his weight! COACH Look at Ned squirming, Cole. It’s like a fish out of water. Moneymaker applies THE SPINNING TOE HOLD and keeps twisting the knee until Ned kicks him off! The Billion Dollar Heir smacks the corner hard and stumbles back into a SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ned hammers away, and then fires Moneymaker across. Big clothesline connects and, after shaking off the knee, Ned runs the ropes to deliver his trademark POINTY ELBOW~!…but Moneymaker pops to his feet and executes a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Following a snap mare Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! COACH I bet Ned regrets taking this match now, Cole. COLE I seriously doubt that. We always knew Ned had the talent, but it was until recently we found out he has the heart to go along. Rather than go for the cover Moneymaker climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and delivers a DIVING BACK ELBOW DROP! Now the cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH The knee Teddy! Go back to the knee! COLE What are you, a manager now? Apparently Moneymaker heard Coach, as he once again targets the knee of Ned. Moneymaker twirls his finger and goes for THE FIGURE-4, but Ned wraps him up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker charges forward, and Ned counters the attempted BILLION $ KNEELIFT by SWEEPING Moneymaker’s legs out from under! Quick cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Toe to toe both men go, with Ned getting the better end of the exchange. Moneymaker rakes the eyes to put a stop to that, but Ned reverses a whip and plants Moneymaker with a FLAPJACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker crawls onto the apron and is on the verge of being suplexed back in when Ned’s knee buckles and he lands on top! COLE He’s got the tights, ref! Theodore Moneymaker is gonna steal this one! The count. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker hooks Ned for a belly-to-belly, but Ned stomps his foot and SLINGSHOTS Moneymaker into the corner turnbuckle! COACH I got a bad feeling we’re gonna have a new champion, Cole. Ned looks to hit the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX when he spots V.I.C.E. arrive ringside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What happened to Moneymaker preferring to lose because Ned was the better man, not due to outside interference? I mean he threatened not to wrestle as long as Simon was ringside. COACH VICE hasn’t interfered. COLE Yet. Though VICE do not interfere their presence alone is enough to throw Ned off his game. Moneymaker delivers a LOW BLOW, unseen by the referee who is distracted by VICE, and then THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE DAMNIT! BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers soon turn to cheers as SIMON SINGLETON rushes down to get him some of VICE! COACH Look at this idiot trying to fight 2 guys at once. Simon strikes fast like a cobra, but the numbers are too much for him to overcome. Thrown into the ring he’s subjected to a 3 on 1 beat down courtesy of VICE and Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Hey, come on now! This isn’t right! The bell sounds frantically, but that doesn’t stop VICE or Moneymaker. Suddenly a HUGE ROAR as KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN storms the ring. COACH It’s Krista! COLE And she’s mad as hell! Moneymaker bails, whisked to safety by CPA. This leaves Bosley to experience Krista’s wrath. She puts the clamps on Bosley, giving him a [b][color=blue]BLUE BALL SPECIAL[/b][/color] (Testicular claw) while slapping him with her free hand. Then she PUKES. COLE/COACH :o The opening fanfare from "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits again as Moneymaker, arms raised to the heavens, flashes "the moneyfingers" sign while laughing. Refusing help from Ned, the show ends with Krista looking like she got an early start on a weekend bender.

I just realized the GAB didn’t have a logo. That’s gotta be the first time in a long time. Now onto the show, a really good one at that. Women’s Title: Vintage Morgan here. Human one second, inhumane the next. Leon Rodez vs. Bo: I’m liking this new Leon. He’s like our Chris Jericho right now. I guess that makes Bo his bigger Rey! Helluva match. Can’t wait for the rematch. Tommy G. vs. Todd Cortez: Impressive first outing for Tommy G. And a job well done by LIM. He fit right in, which isn’t hard to do here. Although I'm not sure if it's been explained why he's targeting Cortez (my OAOAST memory is bad), I did add a promo from him on last week's HD. War Games: As usual, Alf delivers in a gimmick match. Loved the sharpshooter/triangle choke finish. How he was able to finish this in a day and a half I don‘t know. I‘d go nuts trying to do that! Theodore Moneymaker vs. Krista: So ends the reign of our second ever female World Champion. Great match with a wild finish. Match of the Night: Leon vs. Bo Quote of the Show: “I like Sophie because she ain’t got hairy armpits like a lot of French girl, you raise another French girl’s hand in victory and you got a god damn tragedy! But she wears pants, so maybe she got them hairy legs, out lookin like cousin it beneath them track pants. Makes a man sick.” -- Coach

Simon Singleton vs. CPA -- Scratch that. I forgot Simon was needed for BB! That match will take care NEXT week, but with Bosley instead of CPA. Stuff with Theodore Moneymaker, co-written by myself and Patty. Well, Patty now since I finished my part!

The Great Angle Bash A OAOAST Entertainment Production DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY LIM Alfdogg Tony149 Zack Malibu Patty O'Green King Cucaracha GRAPHICS Patty O'Green OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault © 2009 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved.

TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! A montage done in old wartime newsreel fashion opens the show highlighting tonight’s card, particularly the War Games, Leon Rodez/Bohemoth and Krista Isadora Duncan/Theodore Moneymaker matches. THE GREAT ANGLE BASH 2009 BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM~! LIVE! Philadelphia, PA COLE From the City of Brotherly Love, the OAOAST proudly presents the 8th annual Great Angle Bash! Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman here with you for the next 3 hours. And Coach, we all know NOBODY does pay-per-view like the OAOAST and tonight is no exception. What a line-up! COACH I don’t even know which match to start with, Cole! We got Leon Rodez and Bohemoth in a grudge match, War Games, Christian Wright vs. Zack Malibu, 3 hugely important title bout -- Women’s, Tag Team, and World with 30% of Krista’s successful Fit with Kid line at stake as well -- and then a special BONUS match just added earlier in the day! COLE You are exactly right. The Orange County Cobras will face the LDC Moneygang in a match where the winner will receive a tag team title shot at AngleSlam. And you know Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard would love to deny Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr. that opportunity given what happened some months ago. COACH It’s time to forget about the past and move into the future, Cole. COLE Speaking of which, it’s time to go to the ring for our first bout!

We settle upon a view of our legendary ring announce encased in a purple spotlight. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is our main event for the evening and it is for the OAOAST World Title and thirty percent shares in FIT with KID. Please allow me to introduce myself Im a man of wealth and taste Ive been around for a long, long year Stole many a mans soul and faith And I was round when jesus christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But whats puzzling you Is the nature of my game To the tune of Guns N Roses version of Sympathy for the devil, Mister Moneymaker walks into an arena where green and yellow lights swirl across the area. Clad in a white high collared robe open to expose his white trunks and green kneepads, Moneymaker waves his “moneyfingers’ to an unwelcoming Philadelphia audience. BUFFER Introducing the challenger, he weighs in at two hundred thiry six pounds, is a former one and only tag team champion, as well as an Angle Award winner, he is a graduate of Yale, and NCAA wrestling champion, he is from Vero Beach, Floridia….THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR, THE MESSIAH, MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Disdain springs from the mouth of every fan of the arena, drawing hard stares from the much disliked challenger. COLE Here comes a desperate man. A damn desperate man. COACH What are you talking about? COLE He had Krista attacked in the parking lot on HeldDOWN just so that he could level a curse on her. A curse! Curses don’t exist, and he had to resort to Uno and Dos’ black magic nonsense because he desperate for the world title and to hold onto his shares of FIT with KID. Moneymaker forces the referee to hold the ropes open, so that he may enter the bathed in green light OAOAST ring. Then he demands that the overworked ref remove his warm. While the official gently puts the robe outside the ring, Moneymaker raises his “moneyfingers” to disgusted OAOAST Marks. Gimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world Hey! With the tune of On Top of The World entrance doors spread apart, cheers come from the stands, and Krista stomps out from back looking more serious than usual. Okay, that’s not saying much but she is wearing her SERIOUS ABOUT WRESTLING outfit, of a black cut off t-shirt and rhinestone encrusted pink bell bottoms. Its like Bret Hart meets the playboy mansion! Absent are the usual scantily clad dancers, and present is a nasty scowl etched on her face. COLE World champion Krista Isadora Duncan looks angry, is angry and has every right to be angry. She was outright assaulted and supposedly cursed on HeldDOWN, and she wants Moneymaker’s part in her company back where it belongs, in her hands! BUFFER And the champion….she is from Los Angeles, California, she is a four time OAOAST tag team champion, a New York Times best selling author, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, the founder of FIT with KID, a loving mother, and world renowned fitness guru, she is KRISTA ISAAADORAAA DUNCAAAAAAN! Krista slides into the ring, met with a stare of contempt from Moneymaker. She will not be backed down however, and continues drawing herself close to the billion dollar heir. COLE The champion from Los Angeles, California, and the challenger from Vero Beach, Florida collide once again in their epic rivalry. DING DING DING The match begins and murder suddenly fills Krista’s bright blue eyes. Rage guides her very step and shoots her into Moneymaker’s torso with a spear. Connecting with so much force, she propels both their bodies to the outside canvas. Clearly winded by the unexpected strike, Moneymaker lies defenseless on the mats and Krista’s high heels batter his back. Bored with merely stomping the billion dollar heir, the queen of fitness picks him up. “Theodore Moneymaker please meet announce table, I don’t think you’ve been properly acquainted yet.” Krista solves that problem by throwing the challenger’s head into the top of the announce table. The Floridian is quick to pull himself off the mat, but he staggers as if in a painful fog. Unfortunately his aimless movements carry him towards Krista who whips him in the back with a throng of TV cables. Next, she drops her weapons and springs forward to nail him in the jaw with a running knee! As the audience cheers her own, the world champion takes another run at her hated rival. But this time her attack is halted by the rising elbow he smacks into her face. With Krista momentarily stunned he’s able to attach her inside a front facelock. In moments he’s flinging her backwards with a snap suplex. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” the fans chant as he taunts them with his “money fingers”. Leaving the crowd alone for the moment, Moneymaker picks Krista up by her cut off t-shirt and attempts to toss her over the guardrail. But the agile beauty uses the guard rail as something akin to a pole vault and wings around to strike her money making legs into his chest. The blow stumbles him backwards where he’s caught by the ring apron. Unable to recover in quick enough time, he’s felled by diving dropkick from the world champion! A huge pop comes from the stands, as the challenger’s head snaps off the thin black mats. Feeling a bit mischievous the walk of famer grabs a video camera and gives a first person view to her stomping the life out her challenger. COLE So much for a curse, Krista is having her way hear tonight. COACH Bet you won’t be saying that when the scoreboard falls on her. Moneymaker finds his way upright, with his hand held across his throbbing head. Krista digs her fingers into his dollar green tights and throws him into the steel steps. The force of the throw dislodges the steel steps and they tumble to the ground. While he groans in pain, Miss California takes herself down the apron. Hunching she waits with eagerness for Moneymaker’s rise. Once he stands the lovely BUTT shot is gone, replaced by her legs wrapping around his neck and throwing him down to the mats.! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Dos and Uno need to go watch some episodes of Bewitched, their magic isn’t working at all! Miss California throws Moneymaker into the ring. Following his path, she raises herself onto the ring apron. She then uses the ropes to launch herself onto his back with a twisting senton splash! A pinfall follows, and Charles Robinson counts along… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker succeeds in kicking out. Still slightly dazed, he rolls himself to his feet. Krista eludes him however, running to the ropes. Unfortunately her return sees her nailed with the billion dollar knee lift. Moneymaker takes a moment to catch his breath, and once that’s settled he whirls around to level her with a spinning lariat. Already angered over her fighting ability, Moneymaker stares at her with a face locked in rage. That rage turns on Krista, and nearly lacerates her with a running leg drop! He once again shows off his “money fingers” before falling on her for the pin… ONE! TWO! Krista gets a shoulder off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE I’ll tell you this, I have seen few rivalries with as much hatred, passion, and twists and turns as this between Krista and her sworn enemy Mister Moneymaker. The walk of famer crawls to the corner, her breath slowed by the powerful lariat. Her time to rest isn’t a long one; the challenger brings her upright and whips her to the opposite corner. Her speed allows her to avoid the collision with ring posts and raise her heels onto the third rope. She then flips backwards to the tycoon with a moonsault. But her slender figure comes down within his clutches and he twists her over for a power slam. COLE Theodore Moneymaker made his debut about four years ago tagging with Black T, just a year after his graduation from Yale where he won two NCAA titles in wrestling. Despite his amateur credentials, Moneymaker’s style is mostly brawling and cheating. Showcasing those cheating and brawling skills, The Messiah crushes Krista’s throat with his golden boots. Quickly forced away from Krista, Moneymaker makes a dash for the ropes. He comes in with speed and precision to attempt to nail Krista with the billion-dollar knee lift. But that fails miserably when Krista lowers the third rope. As a result the Yale alum topples onto the ring apron, barely avoiding a tumble to the floor. Dizzied by the ordeal, he slowly raises himself off the mat. But danger continues to follow as Krista leaps over the ropes, with his head in her arms and bulldogs him right into the announce table! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “Curse, huh?” She barks “I got a curse for you, [bEEP] YOU MOTHER[bEEP] [bEEP]SUCKER I HOPE YOU [bEEP] GET [bEEP] BY A [bEEP] AND A GOD [bEEP] [bEEP] [bEEP] on your chest, you homophobic anti-Semitic [bEEP]!” COLE Oh my! Still seething with madness, Krista throws her opponent back into the ring. Sliding in after him, she reaches his body for the latest pinfall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker pushes his shoulder off the canvas, and the fans are none to pleased. Krista pulls Moneymaker to his feet and tosses him into the ropes with an irish whip and then bounces off them on her own. As she comes back to the billionaire her gorgeous legs wrap and his neck and spin him around for a dizzying head scissors. Upon Moneymaker’s rough landing Krista tries to strike him with a standing shooting star press. But he raises his green kneepad covered legs and blocks the attack. Krista’s rock hard abs help defend against the counter, and she along with her foe are fast to their feet. Moneymaker attempts to strike first by lifting her for a body slam. But her baby oil slicked body allows her to slither down his back. Before he can turn around, her high heels snap at him with a dropkick that pushes him into the corner. She follows in with a charge, but her arch rival scuttles out the way. Fortunatley Krista is able to clasp her hands around the ring ropes to avoid crashing into the turnbuckles. Running back towards Moneymaker, she slides her long legs between his arms in a wheel barrel position. She uses her leg strength to push herself up and then comes down with a rollup! ONE! TWO! Krista ends the pinfall herself when she realizes Moneymaker’s mouth is way to close to her feminine regions. Back on her feet, Miss California rushes into the ropes. They spit her back at Moneymake, but he catches her with a spinning back elbow that strikes her dead in the jaw. Using his underrated agility he attempts a sunset flip. But no pin can be counted as Krista easily rolls through the pin. She comes off the ropes once more. But again Moneymaker counters her latest attack, with a double leg takedown. Holding onto her gorgeous legs he attempts to twist her into a boston crab. But the slow movement of his submission allows Krista to surprise him with a rollup! ONE! TWO! Moneymaker kicks out! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Somewhat exhausted by the frentic pace of the contest, Moneymaker rolls onto his side to regain his energy. Several seconds later he attempts to return to his feet, but is met with a thudding kick against his head. He topples over and Krista dives onto him for another pin… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker forces his way out the pin, which leaves Krista more than slightly annoyed. While Moneymaker tries to gather up his strength, Krista makes another run of the ropes. But, as she returns Moneymaker springs upright and strikes her in the neck with a lariat! Considering that attack good enough, he crawls on top of her for a pin of his own. ONE TWO Krista throws her shoulder off the mat, leading to great cheers from the audience. More annoyed than joyous fans, Moneymaker rams his fist into the top of Krista’s head. Once done with the basic attacks, he grabs Krista by her skimpy top and hauls her to her feet. With frustration and anger playing on his face, he throws her forward, sending her sliding beneath the bottom rope. She flies like a missile before connecting perfectly with the steel guardrail. Pleased with his cheap attack, Moneymaker raises his fist in triumph. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” they chant as the billion dollar exits the ring. COLE Moneymaker testing the limits of the rules in a world title match. COACH No way any ref would give him the DQ, the fans would riot if a world title match mainevent ended like that. With thick handfuls of her hair, Moneymaker forces Krista upright and walks her to the announce table. He throws her into one, leaving her in a sizable amount of pain. Hoping to increase her agony, he hooks her inside a front facelock. Next he drops backwards and spikes her head off the canvas with a DDT. She moans in miserey and clutches her now sore head. COLE Moneymaker has used every inch of the ring floor in this world title contest. COACH No surprise there, Mikey. Moneymaker is a smart dude, he’s a graduate of Yale, his brain works on a high level. COLE Well, Krista has two masters degrees to his one bachelor’s so maybe she’s the smartest between them! Possibly the smartest, but that doesn’t help her any as she’s rolled into the ring and subjected to another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kirsta lifts her shoulder off the canvas. Her reward for the kickout is a sleeper hold from the tycoon. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Moneymaker wrings KID’s neck, causing it sizable damage. He smiles to himself, thinking her close to being on the verge of submission. But those hopes are perhaps a bit premature; Krista uses her strength to push herself to her feet. Moneymaker attempts to tighten his hold on the fitness queen. However he encounters failure as she sits out to break it with a jaw breaker! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Moneymaker stumbles away , nursing his hurt jaw. Krista staggers into the corner, using the ropes to pull herself up. Pushing aside his horrible pain, Moneymaker rushes forward with a shoulder aimed for Krista’s midsection. The California hottie slides out the way upon noticing Moneymaker, and he meets the cold steel of the post in her place. Hitting with enough force to propel him to outer space, Moneymaker is quickly deposited to the outside. COLE The fans like that one! Perhaps Moneymaker needs to look before he leaps. Back onto his feet, Moneymaker curses a blue streak at both the fans that taunt him as well as Krista. However his vulgar mouth is quickly silenced when the world champion, dives through the ropes and connects with a brilliant shoulder tackle. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” comes from the audience, while Krista and Moneymaker lie exhausted and weak on the outside. Despite her anguish and suffering, Krista is the first to her feet. She uses this to her advantage and brings Moneymaker upright to push him back inside the ring. Brushing her hair away from her blue eyes, Miss California finds her way to the apron. A brief wait follows, as she watches Moneymaker pull himself up. Once fully up, he’s victimized by a flying dropkick from the champ! The fans cheer with excitement, as she throws herself off the ropes and comes back to level the challenger with a spinning wheelkick! Moments after toppling over, Moneymaker lazily brings himself off the canvas. Unfortunately he must deal with Krista leaping into him with the KIDology. But the tycoon counters the finisher with a deadly spine buster! COLE Oh! Moneymaker must’ve seen the KIDology coming. Laughing his sinister laugh, Moneymaker hooks onto Krista’s legs for a pinfall attempt. ONE! TWO! But again the world champion finds her way out the fall. The fans happily laud her efforts, while Moneymaker takes to grousing about the count. COLE Moneymaker was the closest he’s ever been to being a world champion right there. COACH Mister Moneymaker can see the championship getting closer and closer with evey move. You’re almost there, sir! Sharing the same sentiments as his loyal ass kisser, the billion dollar heir forces Krista up with a fistful of her hair. Deeply annoyed that someone’s touching her well styled hair, she begins firing punches into Moneymaker’s stomach. Stunning him with the flurry of blows, Krista runs back to the ropes and uses them to launch herself at her foe. She takes to the skies, landing across Moneymaker’s shoulders for a hurricanrana. But he clasps his hands down on her waist and shoots her into the canvas with a powerbomb! Pain dances across Krista’s face, while Moneymaker breathes heavily but maintains a small smile. He then bounces himself off the ropes, and once he comes back to Krista he angles his fist downward for his Fistful of Dollars! But right as he nears his foe, she pulls herself out of his path and his slams into the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” While he attends to his wounded hand, Krista takes her chance to clamp down on him with a front facelock. Her plan is to strike him with The Life In The Fab Lane (twist of fate) But it’s a plan that has little success due to Moneymaker hooking onto her bell bottoms and surprising her with a northern lights suplex! The referee slides into position to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Krista kicksout and the fans throw ecstatic cheers into the air. Having believed he had secured the world title, Moneymaker angrily slams his fist into the mat, an attempt to control his urge to slug the referee. COACH Mikey, I thought this thing was all over. Zebras are trynna do Mister Moneymaker dirty! COLE It takes much more than a Northern Lights suplex to beat Krista. If anyone should know that its Theodore Moneymaker. Returning to his feet, Moneymaker remains astonished with mouth dropped open, unable explain this setback. Totally ignoring the set rules, Moneymaker removes a pair of brass knucks from his tights. Grinning like a madman, he slides them onto his fingers. “BOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I told you, Coach, he is a desperate man! First a curse and now this, Moneymaker prepares to strike Krista down with his illegal weapon. But as he cocks his fist, the beauty dropkicks him directly in his arm. The limb smacks backwards and he punches himself in the face with his brass knucks. The Floridian topples sideways, with a waterfall of blood tricking down his nose. COACH Ref, disqualify her! She cheated! COLE She just gave the billion dollar heir a bitter taste of his own medicine! With labored breaths, Krista drapes her arm across the challengers chest… ONE! TWO! To the fans incredible disgust, Moneymaker raises his shoulder off the mat. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” COLE The Philly crowd showing their support for the world champion! COACH Don’t waste your breath, OAOAST Marks. Bereft of his brass weapon, Moneymaker drags himself upright. Unfortunately his gorggy state fails to register Krista’s legs laced around his ankles, and he’s brought down face first without protection onto discarded weaponry! “YEAAAA!” With the fans solidly rooting her run, the speedy babe takes another run off the ropes. But Moneymaker lashes out and snaps onto her tan legs! Having dropped her to the canavs, he fights off the struggles and turns her over into a boston crab. Immediately Krista howls out in pain, as her bones and muscles burn from the submission. COLE Krista has never submitted, but will this be the historic first time? Krista shrieks and screams, having a hard time resisting the pain. Moneymaker demands her submission but he’ll get none of it with Krista furiously fight her own urge to submit. Tettering on the edge of desperation, she reaches out for the only thing that will help her: the brass knucks. Her fingers dash and crawl to the metal weapon, unbeknownst to Theodore Moneymaker. COACH Don’t let her get it, sir! COLE He has no idea she’s even attempting to grab it. And by the time he knows, it’ll be too late. As Moneymaker continues to call for her submission, Krista continues to work to avoid it. Suffering through immense pain, she carefully moves the brass knucks around her fingers. She twists her body and encounters a flood of agony, but keeps doing so in order to get the proper angle. Next she shoots her arm forward and hits Moneymaker with a brass knucks assisted low blow! “YEAAAAAAAAAA” While the fans shout with joy, Moneymaker staggers away with hands around his busted nickles and dimes. COLE Forget a curse on Krista! He should curse the day he ever thought to use those knucks. Moneymaker’s pain is made all the worse when Krista leaps with her knees pressed into her chest and brings him downward with a KIDology! COLE The KIDology from the champ! Really brilliant magic curse you used there, Moneymaker. The fans jump out their seats and bring out raucuous applause for her finish. Krista just steels her face in determination knowing she’ll need something more to end Moneymaker’s threat. That something more is an aerial attack and she runs to the ropes to begin it. She leaps onto the third rope, hoping to springboard back with a lionsault. But that’s made impossible by the rope breaking beneath her heels! Thrown totally off balance, she body is slung backwards. Unable to contort it to a safe angle, she comes down directly onto the top of her head. Her neck snaps in a most brutal fashion and the jump back aghast at the horror of her landing. COLE Oh my. Oh my! COACH That was the curse! It struck! COLE Be quiet with that! Krista could be seriously injured. I’m not even sure if she’s conscious at this point, we need medics out here and fast. Krista’s horrible state does not go unnoticed by Moneymaker as he shakes himself awake. Watching the miserable replay of Krista’s disastrous fall brings a shocked but satisfied look onto Moneymaker’s face. He stands up with a wide, overly pleased smile on his face. His happiness further stokes the audience’s anger and they hit him with furnace worthy blast of heat. He shrugs off their rage, and marches over to Krista where he brings her lifeless body upright. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Krista’s body sags weakly, the only thing holding it up, Moneymaker’s front facelock. COLE Come on, Krista! Come on! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the fans chant, but their song is futile; Moneymaker lifts Krista into as if setting up a vertical suplex. But rather than perform the basic hold, he tries something far deadlier sitting out and spiking her head into the canvas with a sitout pile driver. COLE The ultra rare Spear Of Longinus! Named after the spear that slew Jesus Christ, only a devil like Moneymaker would use such a move. While the fans look on with their hopes and their prayers of a sudden infusion of life to Krista, the chuckling billion dollar heir makes his latest pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING DING COACH WHOO-HOOO! The fans are beside themselves with fury and anger and immediately begin showering the ring with debris. Even a under a torrential downpour of garbage, Moneymaker can’t help but roll over onto his back and laugh the loudest laugh of his life! Over the sound of the crowd hissing and Moneymaker’s exuberant giggles comes “We are the champios!” by queen. I've paid my dues - Time after time - I've done my sentence But committed no crime - And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand kicked in my face - But I've come through COACH A perfect song for a perfect champion! BUFFER Your winner and NEW OAOAST World Champion….THEODORE MONEYMAKER. BOOM BOOM BOOM! Fireworks explode around the ring We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world Joining with the seemingly never ending flow of trash comes gold and green confetti of celebration. Moneymaker happily welcomes it all as he rises to his feet. Arms go up into the air, doing little to ease the furious crowd. COACH Just liked the Cubs are cursed so is Krista Isadora Duncan. Tell me when the ropes have ever broken here. Tell me when they’ve broken in the middle of a high risk springboard move. Tell me whenever they’ve caused someone to fall directly onto her head and knock herself out. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a CURSE! COLE Sadly, your thoughts are hard to debate. Its just too hard to believe. COACH How? Its right in front of your eyes! The anger of Philly grows rapidly when Moneymaker is handed his newly won championship. He needn’t celebrate on his own however as The Enterprise as well as VICE, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, and Los Conquesitadors slide into the ring to join him in merriment. CPA and CMJ lift the billion dollar champion onto their shoulders, and his smile spreads even farther across his face. Abdullah leads the others in song, and they happily sing along. I've taken my bows And my curtain calls - You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it - I thank you all – But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise - I consider it a challenge before the whole human race - And I ain't gonna lose – COACH What a night! I’ll remember this for the rest of my life. A man bred for success achieves success, on this day Mister Moneymaker is a god! COLE The most evil man in the OAOAST, now our world champion. We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world

ANGLESLAM SAN JUAN SMACKDOWN! MONDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 31 LIVE! EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Backstage we find Krista hurrying down the hall with a nervous Alix trailing her. ALIX Woah, you can't go out there! No way no how, mister. KRISTA I have a title defense, and for some reason I think I'm kinda sorta supposed to be out there. Not sure what me being the world champion has to do with me going into world championship match. The meaning is lost on me. ALIX Okay, you can talk me like a 3rd grader, and I can stab you in your sleep. But I won't need to because your cursed and chances are when you go to take a nap one of satans demons will reach up and suck you down to hell! Hell! Hell isn't like dairy queen with their delicious frosty treats and yummy hot dogs. Hell is hell with demons, and fire, and richard nixon and ronald regan.Do you wanna share a dorm room for eternity with Ronald Regan? Do ya? KRISTA There's no such thing as a curse. Its all a bunch of non sense and garbage designed to sell to weird little guys from New Mexico that like to dress up in goth leather every Thursday night, and whatever night syndicated is on, check your local listings. They don't exist, so stop worrying about it. Krista walks off, and Alix is left behind to fret and worry.

The fans go nuts as the cage lowers from the ceiling. COLE And it's now time, Coach! Eight men will step into those two rings, inside that steel cage, and engage in war! It's the War Games match! Let's go up to the ring! *DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time, for one of the main attractions of the evening. Eight men will wage war inside the two-ring steel cage, with rules of submit or surrender. It is now time for WAR GAMES! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Here are the rules for this match. In War Games, there are 7 periods. In the first period, one man from each team will square off for five minutes. All periods thereafter will last two minutes. At the end of the first period, the referee will conduct a coin toss with a member of each team. The team which wins the toss will send a second man in for the second period. The teams will alternate sending men into the match, until eight men are in the ring. At this point, The Match Beyond begins, and once again, the match can only end in submit or surrender. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...ARRRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYOUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers* Then for the thousands in attendance here at the Wachovia Center, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! COLE I wish my periods only lasted two minutes! COACH ... Fireworks go off above the cage, and fire shoots off of all four corners of it. The Wall by Kansas hits, and the Deadly Alliance make their way to the ring. BUFFER Introducing the first team, making their way to the ring at this time...accompanied by ARTURAS...THE DEADLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN NNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEE!!!!! COLE The Deadly Alliance team, consisting of Reject, Thunderkid, Mr. Dick, and Sandman9000, the Heartland champion! The DA talks strategy on their side of the cage, as Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg leads his team out. BUFFER Their opponents, making their way to the ring...ALFDOGG'S AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! COLE And here comes Alfdogg, leading out his team, the new US champion Denzel Spencer, Brock Ausstin, and Colombian Heat, who made his shocking return this past Thursday on HeldDOWN~! Alf's team huddles up, as the camera cuts to the other side of the cage, where Sandman steps through the door and the ropes. COACH And it's gonna be Sandman starting it off for the DA! Alf's team breaks their huddle, and Denzel makes his way to the door. COLE And Denzel Spencer for Alf's side, the United States champion against the Heartland champion! Denzel steps through, and heads towards Sandman's ring! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! Sandman catches Denzel coming through the ropes with shots to the back, then whips him into the ropes. Denzel ducks a clothesline, and flies through the air with one of his own! Denzel kicks Sandman as he gets to his feet, then whips him into the ropes. He drops down, then gets to his feet, jumps up, and grabs the top of the cage, kicking Sandman to the mat with both feet! COLE And early on, Denzel using the cage to his advantage! Denzel grabs the top of the cage once again, and grabs Sandman in a headscissors, taking him down with a hurricanrana! COLE And a nice hurricanrana with help from the cage! Denzel calls out to the crowd, which cheers in response, then delivers kicks in the corner. He attempts an Irish whip, but Sandman reverses. Denzel hops to the second rope, then fakes Sandman out, and turns around, hitting him with a missile dropkick! COLE Denzel on fire here in the early going! COACH Sandman has just not been able to get out of the blocks here! Denzel delivers right hands, then attempts an Irish whip, but Sandman reverses, and drops down. Denzel hops over, then tries a flying bodypress, but Sandman drops down once again, and Denzel finds nothing but canvas. COLE And now maybe Sandman can gather an advantage! Sandman starts to pick up Denzel, but Denzel delivers a left hand to the groin! COACH Oh, look at that cheap shot! COLE There's no cheap shots in War Games! Denzel grabs Sandman, and tosses him head-first into the cage! COLE And Sandman into the cage! Denzel follows Sandman in and rams his head into the cage, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Denzel follows by RAKING Sandman's face across the cage! COLE Sandman taking a lot of abuse from that mesh, and he's bleeding! Denzel brings Sandman out to mid-ring, and delivers a kick to the gut, then follows with a scissor kick! He then drops to the mat and starts to bite Sandman! COACH I've never seen this kind of aggression from Denzel Spencer, but I suppose war brings that out in some people! Denzel drags him into a corner, and delivers big kicks, then bites him some more. He then tosses Sandman over the top rope all the way into the other ring! COLE And Sandman goes from ring-to-ring! Denzel waits for Sandman to get to his feet, then springs to the top rope, hops to the top rope of the other ring, then jumps at Sandman...but gets caught with a dropkick! COLE And Denzel was going for a big one there, but got caught! COACH We're about ready for the coin toss, Cole! Sandman sets Denzel up for a piledriver, but Denzel blocks, then backdrops out as the crowd counts down... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! The referee flips the coin on the outside, as Alf calls out "heads!" The referee catches the coin, slaps it onto the back of his hand, and calls out "tails!" pointing to the Deadly Alliance! COACH And the Deadly Alliance wins the toss, Cole! COLE And look who's going in! Reject darts through the door, climbs through both sets of ropes, and hits Denzel with a knee from behind in the corner! COLE And Denzel will have to fight off both Sandman and Reject now for the next two minutes! Reject drags Denzel into another corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Denzel lays in a kick to the side of Reject, then starts fighting back with right hands! COLE But look at him fight the odds! Denzel starts to choke Reject on the ropes, but Sandman nails him from behind. Sandman then hooks Denzel, waiting for Reject to join him, and they execute a DOUBLE DDT~! COACH And these two minutes could not go by any slower for Denzel Spencer! Sandman picks up Spencer, scooping him onto his shoulder, then ramming him face-first into the cage! COLE And now it's Denzel driven into the steel! Reject gloats, as Sandman stops to catch his breath, and the crowd boos. The camera shows Alf pacing in front of the door. COLE And it looks like Alf's going to be the next man in! Reject picks up Denzel, and tosses him over both sets of ropes into the next ring! COACH Wow, Denzel just pitched from ring-to-ring by Reject! Sandman holds Denzel for Reject, who hammers away as the crowd counts down... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! The crowd goes crazy as Alf charges into the ring, and delivers right hands to Reject. Sandman makes his way over, and Alf fights off both guys. Eventually, Reject is able to get in a knee to the gut, then he and Sandman back Alf into a corner. They whip him across, but Alf bounces out with a double clothesline! COLE Big double clothesline from Alf! Denzel comes back and hammers on Reject in a corner, while Alf catches Sandman in a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Denzel then delivers a spin kick in the corner to Reject, who then staggers out into another BELLY-TO-BELLY~! from Alf! COLE Alf delivering out suplexes to everyone! Denzel hammers on Sandman as he works his way to his feet, then goes for a spinkick, which Sandman ducks, and crotches Denzel on the top rope! Meanwhile, Alf whips Reject into a corner, and catches him with a Hart Attack clothesline on his way out! He then pummels Reject on the mat, but Sandman comes over and rakes his eyes! COLE And now some more double team work by the Deadly Alliance! Denzel crawls over, and grabs Sandman's legs, taking him down to the mat. Reject picks up Alf, and attempts to ram him into the cage, but Alf blocks, and it's Reject who gets rammed! COLE And now Reject sent into the cage! Alf sets up Reject in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf brings Reject out, and drops him with a back suplex! Meanwhile, Denzel applies a figure-four to Sandman, as the crowd starts to count down... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Mr. Dick steps into the door, but is cut off by Alf! COLE And Alf was ready for Mr. Dick coming in! Alf drops MD with a big right, then climbs into the other ring. He backs into the ropes, then leaps from ring-to-ring and catches MD with a clothesline! COLE A flying clothesline, from ring-to-ring, on Mr. Dick! What a move by Alf! Alf then catches Reject getting to his feet with right hands, but MD recovers and drives in a knee from behind! COACH But Mr. Dick quick to recover! MD rams Alf into the buckles, then kicks him down, and chokes away, as Reject stomps Denzel. COLE And finally, that figure-four broken up by Reject! COACH But who knows what kind of shape Sandman's knee is in? Sandman crawls over to the ropes, while Reject stomps away on Denzel, then picks him up and tosses him into the side of the cage! COACH And there goes Denzel into the cage! Alf and MD are still going at it in a corner, with Alf now possessing a chokehold on MD, as Sandman pulls himself over and hammers Alf from behind. MD then trips up Alf, and delivers a headbutt to the groin! COACH Just Being a Dick! MD applies a camel clutch to Alf, while Sandman executes BOOT SCRAPES~! to his exposed face. COACH And look at this double team! COLE But someone will be coming to Alf's aid shortly! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Brock Ausstin comes into the cage, and is immediately jumped by Reject. COLE And it's the big man, Brock Ausstin, but Reject was waiting for him! Sandman gives Reject a hand, and the two whip Brock into the ropes. Brock ducks underneath a double clothesline, and flattens both men with one of his own! COLE Big double clothesline! Brock delivers right hands to Reject, then some to Sandman, knocking both men to the mat. Reject crawls to the other ring, and Brock follows him, first stopping to hammer Mr. Dick. COLE And the camel clutch broken up by Brock Ausstin! Brock then traps Reject in a corner, and hammers away with right hands, but Reject goes to the eyes. COLE Reject stopping the assault by going to the eyes! Reject turns Brock around in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, the chops have no effect! Reject rakes the eyes once again, then attempts an Irish whip. However, Brock reverses, then catches Reject in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE Look at the power of Brock Ausstin! Brock carries Reject to the middle of the ring, then presses him into the top of the cage three times, then tosses him to the mat! He calls out to the crowd, which cheers in response. COACH And you notice, Brock ramming Reject right into the top of the cage with each of those presses! Brock then grabs Reject, and tosses him into the cage! COLE Once again Reject into the cage! Sandman hammers on Alf, while MD and Denzel fight into the other ring. Brock then rakes Reject's face across the cage! COLE Reject having his face raked now, and he's been cut open! Denzel delivers kicks to MD, while Alf is tossed into the cage by Sandman! COLE And Alf, already busted, just sent again into the wall of the cage! Sandman then attacks Brock from behind, and he and Reject toss Brock into the cage! COACH And there goes Brock! COLE The Deadly Alliance has the advantage in the ring, and they'll have the man advantage shortly when Thunderkid enters! Denzel has MD trapped in a tree of woe and stomps away, as the crowd counts down... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! TK enters the cage, and hammers Brock, then rams him into the cage once again! He then clobbers Denzel from behind, before holding Brock for Reject, who punts him between the legs! COACH TK then picks up Denzel and rams him into the cage! COLE And Denzel busted open by TK, who is on fire here, the last entrant for the Deadly Alliance! TK then floors Alf with a BICYCLE KICK~!, and tosses him into the other ring, where Brock is raking MD's face across the cage! COLE Look at Mr. Dick! It looks like he's busted now! Reject tries to attack Brock, but Brock elbows him in the gut, and begins raking HIS face across the cage, as well! COLE And now two for the price of one! TK hammers Brock from behind, and executes a back suplex, as Reject starts making signals. COLE Reject setting up something here... Reject and MD stand with their backs to the ropes, holding Brock. TK then brings Alf over to Reject, while Sandman brings Denzel over to MD. COACH What are they doing? All four DA members then shoot Alf, Brock, and Denzel across the ring, and attempt clotheslines...but the three men duck, and take the DA down to the mat with a QUADRUPLE CLOTHESLINE~!!! COLE And that one backfired big-time, all four members of the DA team down! The crowd is going crazy, then they begin to count down... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Heat comes into the ring, and goes after Sandman. COLE And The Match Beyond begins, Colombian Heat the last entrant into the ring! Submit or surrender! As Heat hammers Sandman, Reject gets to his feet and attacks him from behind. Reject and Sandman shoot Heat into the ropes, but Heat ducks a double clothesline, and delivers one of his own! COLE And a couple more clotheslines! Heat then ducks a clothesline from MD, and steps behind him, driving him with the BONG HIT~! COLE And Heat with the Bong Hit on Mr. Dick! Heat then hits TK with a spinning wheel kick, then picks him up and tosses him into the cage! Meanwhile, Alf applies a figure-four to Reject! COLE And Alf with a figure-four! This could be the match right here! Heat continues to work over MD, while TK steps to the other ring, and breaks up the hold. He then picks up Alf in a hangman's hold, while Reject pulls himself up, and delivers a roundhouse kick! COLE VINTAGE TK and Reject right there! Sandman is raking Brock across the cage, while Denzel goes after TK and both men try to force each other into the cage. Alf sneaks up with a low blow on TK! COACH Oh, come on! Denzel then rakes TK's face across the cage! COLE And now TK cut open by the cage! Heat tosses MD into the cage in the other ring, then does the same to Sandman! However, as he celebrates, Reject spins him around and drops him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH Eulogy! COLE Reject hits it on Colombian Heat! MD and Sandman then get to their feet, and scoop up Heat, tossing him like a battering ram into the cage! COACH And now Heat's bleeding! I think all these guys are bleeding now! Denzel makes his way over to the other ring, where he's ambushed by Reject. Sandman picks up Heat, and sets him up for the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111, while Reject preps Denzel for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...but Denzel shoves him off right into the waiting arms of Brock Ausstin, who executes the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE F-Stunner-5 from Brock Ausstin! Meanwhile, Heat spins out on Sandman, and scoops him up for the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!11111, while Denzel simultaneously scoops up MD for the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 COLE Look at this! Sandman and MD are both driven into the mat! COACH I can't believe this! TK is working over Alf, when suddenly he sees Brock, Denzel, and Heat staring at him from the other ring. COLE And only one man stands for the Deadly Alliance! Alf's three teammates approach TK, circling around him, until Alf gets back to his feet, and hits him with a SUPERKICK~! COLE Superkick from Alf, who's now giving out directions! Alf steps through TK's legs as Heat and Denzel stand at the ropes to hold off the other DA members, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 Brock drops down as well, and hooks him in a TRIANGLE CHOKE~! COACH What in the world? COLE No way TK can withstand this! After a few seconds, TK waves his free arm frantically towards the referee, who calls for the bell! COLE He gave up! Alf's team has won War Games! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen! The winners of the War Games...ALFDOGG'S AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! COACH I just can't believe it. Magnum Opus hits, as the crowd goes wild and Alf celebrates with his team. COLE Alfdogg and his squad triumphant over his former associates, the Deadly Alliance! What a War Games match this was! Alf's team leaves the cage, as Reject comes to, and sees Alfdogg in the aisle. He shouts insults at Alf, once he realizes that the match is over and his team has lost. COLE Eight men put their careers on the line here, for the sake of war! And now the smoke has cleared, and it's Alfdogg's Asylum, Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer, Colombian Heat, and of course Alfdogg himself, who are triumphant on this night! COACH But look at Reject, Cole. He's not going to let this rest, you can just tell! COLE We'll find out perhaps this Thursday on HeldDOWN~! what fallout comes from this, but for now, Alfdogg's Asylum is victorious!

DING DING DING "Concrete Jungle" by Black Label Society BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds, he is the man known as The Italian Rapscallion…Tommy G.! The freaks in the streets, The nuns with the shotguns, The graves rolling by your side, Survival of the fittest, And there ain't no pity, No one gets out alive, In the concrete jungle, It's the well of the damned, Once you step inside then you'll understand, The misfits, psychos and the twisted slaves, The house of the sane, No one can be saved, Rolling six feet under (rollin), Rolling six feet under (rollin), Rolling six feet under Roll and keep on rollin'! Tommy G. comes out onto the ramp with his entrance video on the screen - an animated “boot” of Italy kicking a BUTT. He walks down to the ring, giving fans dirty looks. Once at the ring, he walks up the ramp and enters through the ropes, standing in the corner. The music fades. BUFFER His opponent… "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche BUFFER Fighting out of Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in tonight at two hundred twenty-six pounds, he is The Urban Legend…Todd Cooortezzzz! Todd Cortez sprints to the ring, slides under the ropes into the ring only to meet stomps by Tommy G. Todd Cortez grabs Tommy G.’s left leg and takes him down, mounts him and starts throwing punches. Tommy G. rolls out of it, looking angry. He goes in with quick jabs, most of which Cortez blocks. Cortez returns with a whip-cracking kick to G.’s side. Tommy G. doubles over. Cortez grabs him and throws him into an Irish whip. G. comes off, ducks under Cortez’s swinging arm and comes off the opposite rope with a flying shoulder block. Cortez gets up quickly, but G. knocks him back down with a spinning back elbow. G. rakes his boot over Cortez’s eyes and slowly picks him up, executing a swinging neckbreaker. Instead of pinning him, G. quickly gets to his feet and drops a leg across Cortez’s neck. COLE Tommy G. could be making a mistake here not going for the pin! Tommy G. grabs Cortez’s arm and drags him to the corner. He leaps to the middle turnbuckle and drops a knee to Cortez’s neck. TOMMY G. What’s wrong, huh? Tommy G. puts on a tight chin lock and wrenches Cortez’s neck. The referee asks Todd Cortez if he’d like to submit. Cortez indicates with his hand that he would not. While the ref is in front of Cortez’s face, Tommy G. surreptitiously puts his legs on the middle rope, gaining some leverage and tightening the hold. Cortez starts flailing his arms and the ref sees G.’s illegal use of the ropes and order him to break the hold. COLE The hold is broken, but the damage is done! Tommy G. scoops up Cortez and gives him a shoulder breaker. As they land, Cortez grabs his shoulder in pain. As Tommy G. gloats, Cortez grabs his head and rolls him into a small package. 1... 2... Tommy G. kicks out. CROWD TWO! Tommy G. leaps to his feet and charges Cortez, who sidesteps and pushes him into the turnbuckle. As G. hits the corner and bounces back, Cortez charges him and hits him with a clothesline to the back of the neck. Tommy G. is knocked out of the ring through the ropes. Cortez hurt himself in the process, holding his neck for a moment…before running and diving through the ropes into Tommy G., who had gotten to his feet. Cortez grabs G.’s hair and pulls him up, throwing him into the steel steps, the top portion of which falls off. COLE The referee is up to a five count! Cortez rolls into the ring and breaks the count. He then delivers a kick to Tommy G., who was on all fours trying to get to his feet. Cortez then rolls into the ring and lets the referee count. COACH Why isn’t Todd Cortez going after him! COLE He’s using the time to rest his neck! COACH It could be a mistake. COLE Not if Tommy G’s can’t answer the ten count! Tommy G. rolls back into the ring at eight. Cortez runs and baseball slides into Tommy G. Tommy G. grabs the bottom rope and swings his legs over and up through the middle and top ropes. COLE I’ve heard of skinning the cat, but that was insane! Tommy G. and Cortez, both prone and adjacent to each other on the mat, jump to their feet. Lockup. Side headlock by Tommy G. Cortez backs into the rope and attempts to throw G. off, but the headlock is kept on. Cortez attempts to lift G. into a back suplex, but G. is seemingly too heavy. He goes for a second attempt and makes it. Both men writhe on the ground in pain. Cortex gets an arm over Tommy G., but only gets a one count. Cortez gets to his feet and stomps G.’s left arm, and then grabs it and goes for a Mahistrol cradle. 1... 2... Reversal. 1... 2... Kickout. Both men get to their feet. Cortez hits a step up Enziguri, sending Tommy G. into a flipping fall. He then runs to the turnbuckle and jumps on top. Slowly, Tommy G. gets to his feet and turns around. Cortez leaps off the top rope and goes for a high cross body. Tommy G. catches him in midair. He repositions Cortez into a gutwrench set up. He pulls Cortez up for a gutwrench suplex, but grabs his neck in midair and turns it into a bulldog. 1... 2... 3... DING DING DING “Concrete Jungle” starts BUFFER The winner of this bout…Tommy G.! COACH Big, big win for Tommy G., Cole. COLE Indeed it was. And coming up next is a big match... War Games!

COLE Coming up next, it's the battle between Leon Rodez and Bohemoth. Ever since losing the World Title to Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez has been a changed man with a bleak outlook on life. And not content with having this bleak view, he seems to feel like he has to take others down with him. A few weeks ago, Leon took some of his frustrations out on his niece Jade, which raised the ire of Leon's one time friend Bohemoth. The bigman was all set to force an apology out of Leon, until Jade convinced him not to hurt her uncle. Far from being grateful for the reprieve, Leon decided to use this to his advantage, to create problems, trying to coax Bohemoth into breaking the promise he made. Well, this past Friday after weeks of coaxing, Leon interjected himself in a Women's Title match, distracting the referee and preventing Jade from winning her title back. That drew Bohemoth out. And Leon clearly knew what he was doing, as the promise was broken, in violent fashion... Back to a live shot of the arena, with Michael Buffer standing mid-ring. *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd explode as "Liberate" hits and out marches the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner. All business, Bohemoth marches straight to the ring, as intense as you're ever likely to see the normally cool, calm and collected Meterosexual Monster. BUFFER Introducing first, from Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds. He is "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jogging up the ring steps and into the ring, Bohemoth wheels around to the entrance and waves for his opponent to be brought out. COLE It's been clear from the start that this has all been a plan, a calculated plan by Leon Rodez to split Bohemoth and Jade, for no real reason other than to spread some misery to his niece. That plan involved getting Bohemoth to attack him, to convince him to sign for a one on one match. Which leads me to ask... has Leon lost his mind!? COACH Well it sure seems like he's not thinking straight. But I'm sure he'd say he's never been thinking clearer. "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. The crowd boo, and it's not immediate that Leon Rodez walks out into the hostile arena. It's soon obvious why he took those extra few seconds, moving very slowly and very gingerly while clutching his taped ribs with one arm. BUFFER And his opponent. From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds... the former two-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the world... LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Pained by every step, Leon slowly inches his way down the aisle. Getting no sympathy from the fans who shout abuse as he goes past, Leon struggles on as his song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Bohemoth has finally had enough of waiting and leaves the ring, attacking Leon in the aisle to which he's almost defenceless! COLE Well here we go, Bohemoth picking right up where he left off on HeldDOWN! This may not be much of a match, this may just be a fight! Unable to fight back, Leon is sent up against the barricade by right hands from Bohemoth, who changes up to stomps. Targetting the ribs Bohemoth stomps Leon down, leaving him curled up in a ball trying to cover up. Bohemoth tries to open him up with some soccer style kicks, before just STANDING on Leon's lower back causing him to shout in pain!! COLE I don't care what Leon says, tonight, he's getting what he deserves! COACH Does anyone really deserve this? Bohemoth climbs off of Leon and drags him off the ground and towards the ring. Scraping on his knees Leon is brought to ringside and picked up, nailed with a right hand. Bohemoth then grabs the arm... *THUD!* ...and whips him into the steel steps! Hitting back first, Leon slumps down against the steps with pain etched on his face. COLE Leon clearly in a bad way. He's not even dressed to wrestle. COACH He shouldn't even be out here. Bohemoth mauled him a couple of days ago, who knows what injuries Leon's carrying. And now he's got to face this hothead again. It's just a good job this happened to Leon before it happened to Jade I suppose. COLE Are you kidding me!? Don't take Leon's side in this! COACH It's not like he doesn't have a history. Ask Lorelei. COLE Are you ever going to let that ridiculous story drop!? Bohemoth throws Leon into the ring... *DINGDINGDING!* ...and with the match officially underway, Leon leaps on Bohemoth as he slides inside, gouging at his eyes! With Bo momentarily blinded Leon strikes wildly at the head before placing Bo's throat across the bottom rope and forcing him down. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Letting Bohemoth go, Rodez follows him across the ring and continues his desperate attack with another blatant choke. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." COLE Leon, barely mobile as he is, trying to do damage any way he physically can to fend Bohemoth off. Leon struggles to his feet and holds his ribs as he kicks away at Bohemoth. The bigman starts to get to his feet so Leon leads him up and tees off with a right hand with Bo on one knee. Another hard right connects. But Bohemoth shakes them off, booting Leon in his ribs and leaving him powerless as he's thrown face-first into the top turnbuckle. Bohemoth slugs away with right hands, forcing Leon down into a seated position against the bottom buckle. Taking off into the ropes, Bohemoth then charges back with a FACEWASH kick!! COLE OH! Right to the SKULL~! Rage in his eyes, Bohemoth looks down at Leon before suddenly hitting the ropes for a SECOND FACEWASH kick, not satisfied with just the one! COLE Bohemoth trying to kick that miserable look right off of Leon's face! COACH He's trying to kick his face off of his face! And that doesn't even make sense! Rolling over the bottom rope, Leon tries to buy himself time on the outside. Bohemoth follows right out after him though and puts Leon face-first into the guardrail! The bloodthirsty Philadelphia crowd lap it up as Leon sits against the rail dazed. Dragged to his feet, Rodez is whipped forward, going into the ringpost shoulder first. Bohemoth waits for him to turn around and attempts a clothesline... Leon sidesteps... but Bohemoth gets his hands up to prevent running himself into the post. COLE Bohemoth saved himself and I don't think Leon's aware. Breathing a sigh of relief, Rodez is urged to turn around by the crowd... and gets clotheslined up and over the guardrail when he does!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH He is now. When Leon emerges again, Bohemoth hangs him over the rail and clubs him over the chest. Leon stumbles away and when he glances over his shoulder, seeing Bohemoth climb over the rail in pursuit of him, he veers right and tries to escape through the crowd! Dodging past people like a person who enters a movie late, Leon moves quickly standing fans aside as he navigates through the seating. COLE They are literally in amongst the people. And look at Leon, palming out OAOAST Marks aside as he tries desperately to get away from Bohemoth, who is right on his tail, our fans in the fifth row being forced to part like the Red Sea! COACH Leon's really taking his life into his own hands, picking his way past Philadelphia fans. After some effort, Leon makes it to the other side of the seating and drops to a knee, lying in wait. As soon as Bohemoth makes it past the last fan, Rodez pounces and blindsights Bohemoth with a shot to the head. COLE That worked out pretty well in the end for Leon. Leon stays on the attack, security keeping the fans at bay as he and Bohemoth fight feet away. Hitting repeated right hands, Leon turns around and waves the referee away as he desperately tries to convince them to get back in the ring, setting Bohemoth up for a DDT on the concrete. Bohemoth blocks and lifts Leon up for a backdrop, causing him to panic! But he manages to knee Bo in the chest, getting his feet safely back on the ground. In desperation, Leon then goes back to the eyes, gouging Bohemoth right the way back against the guardrail, which he then tips him over back to ringside. Rodez happily leaves the fans behind, hitting Bohemoth in the back with a double axehandle. COACH You've gotta give it up for Leon, taking the fight to Bohemoth, even after the beating he took a couple of nights ago. I mean he got taken out on a stretcher and here he is, back fighting, back on top! COLE He may be in for more of a beating before tonight is over. Limping around ringside, Leon gets a running start and boots Bohemoth in the head. When that doesn't faze him Leon puts a knee to Bo's throat, choking him. COACH He's not taking much of a beating at the moment, is he? Leon limps away from Bohemoth, heading over to the announce table. With a cold look at Double C Leon picks away the top of the announce table and tosses it aside. The referee warns Leon about what he's doing, but gets completely ignored by the Fallen Idol. COLE Well this match is not no disqualifications and the referee being very lenient, to say the least. Kicking Bo in the head again, Leon leads him over to the announce table. Taking Bo by the head, he tries to slam him into the table... but Bohemoth blocks! Elbowing Leon in his injured ribs, Bohemoth turns things around on Leon... *THUD!* ...and bounces his head off the table instead! COLE Shades of two nights ago. COACH So long as we don't get a full repeat, that's what I'm worried about! Bohemoth follows after a recoiling Leon and scoops him up and over his shoulder. Bohemoth then turns to the announce table. COLE Oh no, Coach, we gotta get out of here! The commentators scatter as Bohemoth aims for the table and starts to move forward looking for the slam... ...but Leon manages to slip down the back and escape! Using Bohemoth's momentum against him, Leon shoves The Meterosexual Monster forward, running him thighs first into the table! COLE Bohemoth was trying to drive Leon through our announce table again, but this time Leon managed to avoid it. With Bohemoth hobbled, Leon grabs him from the side... ...AND HITS A SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP, RIGHT BACK INTO THE FRONT OF THE TABLE!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Both Bohemoth and Rodez feel the effects, clutching the backs of their heads from the meeting with the table. It's Leon who's up first though, albeit using the table as a crutch to keep himself up. Glaring into the crowd, he drops down and SLAMS the back of Bo's head back into the table again! And a second time! The referee has finally had enough and demands the match get back into the ring, given a cold look by a retreating Leon. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Rolling Bohemoth back inside, Leon pulls himself up onto the apron. And after giving it some thought, he heads to the top rope. COACH Now, this is a risk. And I don't get why Leon's taking it. Leon comes off the top rope with a crossbody block... but falls short and GETS SPEARED OUT OF MID-AIR BY BOHEMOTH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WHAT A SPEAR! Leon went for a crossbody, but I think his ribs may have gave out, he didn't get the distance he wanted and instead got NAILED in mid-air! With Leon down and clutching his ribs Bohemoth paces around the ring in a circle. He looks down at Leon with an intensity in his eyes, as the arms go up. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE And the end may be nigh! Bohemoth drags Rodez up off the mat and scoops him into his arms. Picking his spot, Bo stops and turns his head, mouthing something into Leon's earshot, before swinging him around... ...out... ...BUT LEON COUNTERS WITH A DDT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Oh yeah! How about that for a counter! COLE And Leon, FRANTIC to make a cover! Leon scrambles painfully over to Bo, grimacing as he rolls the 284 pounder over... 1... 2... NO! Climbing to his feet, Rodez encourages Bo to get back up. COLE Look at that look in Leon's eye... a killer instinct, we've been seeing more and more of in recent months. Bohemoth crawls his way back up, looking a little groggy. Lining his bigger opponent up, Leon waits for him to get to one knee. He takes aim and with Bo seemingly a sitting duck, he aims for the head with a Rolling Soba... NO, DUCKED! Bohemoth punches an off balance Leon in the ribs. To his feet, Bohemoth then hits the ropes and levels Leon with a clothesline! Leon rolls into a corner, trying to use the ropes to help him up again. Bohemoth whips him across the ring into the opposite corner, delivering another clothesline against the turnbuckles. Throwing him up over the shoulder, Bohemoth then plants Leon with a Running Powerslam! COLE Bohemoth is stepping up to another gear though. He's fighting for something tonight, redemption. COACH Oh and I'm sure Jade is so proud of him. Off the ropes again, Bohemoth catches Leon coming up with a YAKUZA KICK, sending him spilling backwards through the ropes! Landing on his feet Leon shakes it off and sees the aisle in sight. But before he can think about leaving, Bohemoth reaches out of the ring and grabs him by the hair. COLE And Leon just can't get a second's reprieve! Caught, Leon is pulled back up onto the apron... but he manages to shrug Bohemoth off and drop down, hanging his neck across the middle ring rope! COLE Until then! Crawling back inside, Leon rolls Bohemoth up... 1... 2... NO! Leon quickly sets Bohemoth up for a Brainbuster... but can't get him up, partly due to the injured ribs. As Leon hunches over, Bohemoth gives him a shove in the back, sending him into a corner. And a clothesline to the back of the head sandwiches Leon into the corner. COLE Another hard shot, how many more of these can Leon take? Stumbling out of the corner, Leon gets a boot to the gut and is set up for a powerbomb. Bohemoth hoists him up onto the shoulders and walks into the middle of the ring. Fighting it, Leon starts to rain down elbows into the top of the head. Enough elbows to daze Bo, allowing him to slip off of the shoulders. Leon lands on his feet and tweaks his ribs again. And with a deep breath, he takes one look at Bohemoth shaking out the cobwebs... ...AND NAILS HIM WITH A DESPERATE LOWBLOW!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh COME ON, right in front of the referee, that's going to be a disqualification. *DINGDINGDING!* Left with no other option the referee calls for the bell, with both Leon and Bohemoth on their knees. Showing no remorse, Leon shoves Bohemoth over onto his side and rolls the other way, out of the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match as a result of a disqualification... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEMMMOOOOTTHHHHH!!! COLE Leon got himself intentionally disqualified! After all the problems and all the distress he caused to get this match, he saw that he was in trouble and he took the cheap way out! Unbelievable! Struggling back up the aisle, Leon is jeered by the Philadelphia fans. Not that he cares, more concerned with nursing his ribs and getting the hell out of dodge before he suffers any more. Bohemoth lays hurting in the ring, tended to by the referee. He shoves him away though and glares at Leon leaving. COACH Face it, Leon already got what he wanted. He just wanted the match, he never said he wanted to win it. COLE That's not the Leon Rodez I know. But, then again, not many of his actions are those of the Leon Rodez I thought I knew anymore, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised. All I'll say is this, Leon may have got what he wanted, but Bohemoth only got a taste. And I've got the feeling, after what just happened, he's going to be even hungrier for more! Bohemoth picks himself up on the ropes and judging from the look on his face, that'd be a dead on prediction. CHI-TOWN SPECTACULAR LIVE! THURSDAY NIGHT, JULY 30! FREE OF CHARGE!

As we pan to the ring, so begins the opening to "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your next contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring at this time, from Washington D.C... he weighs in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD... respresenting The Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Getting Away WIth Murder" hits, and the roof nearly blows off, as The Franchise gets a hero's welcome! BUFFER Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island and weighing in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The two men tie up and take turns backing each other up as they jockey for position. Wright ultimately wins the battle, as he backs Malibu into the corner, and a break is called for. Wright backs up, all smiles with his hands in the air as he gives Zack a clean break...but the moment of cockiness allows Zack to come out with a double leg takedown, bringing Wright to the canvas! Wright scrambles to his feet, so Zack grabs the waistlock, only to have Wright take him by the wrist and counter with a hammerlock! Zack fires back an elbow and snapmares Wright over, and when Wright gets up -CRACK~!- he's met with a hard chop by Zack! Malibu sends him to the ropes, but Christian counters and delivers a kick to the stomach, then takes Zack over with a headlock takedown! Zack manages to slide out, and the two rise to their feet, locking up again! Christian grabs a side headlock, but Zack backs him to the ropes and then fires him off and then catches him with a hiptoss! Wright rolls to his feet, but he's met with a set of chops by a relentless Zack Malibu, each one making a louder sound than the last as Wright's chest is torn apart! Zack readies him for a suplex, but Wright shifts his weight and won't allow himself to be taken over, then drives a knee into Zack's gut before hitting a Russian legsweep! Wright brings Malibu to his feet and nails him with a European uppercut, but Malibu fires back with one of his own! Wright takes offense and fires back with another one, and Malibu, after reeling, delivers his second as well! Wright then fires off a chop and grabs Malibu's arm, sending him to the corner, but as he charges in Zack slides out of the way! Wright rests against the turnbuckles, and from there Zack unloads with another flurry of chops before nailing Wright with a final European uppercut! He snapmares Wright out of the corner, then hops up on the middle rope, delivering a flying kneedrop before trying for the pin! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COLE We're early in this battle and already both men are showing that they're not willing to let the other one gain the upper hand for too long. COACH Malibu's just fighting the inevitable. Tonight, Christian Wright is going to become THE MAN around here, whether Zack, Anglesault, anyone in the locker room, or any of these fans like it! Zack brings Wright up and sends him to the ropes, nailing him with a dropkick on the rebound! Wright rolls to one knee, favoring his jaw as he comes up. Zack goes for him, picking him up for a slam, but Wright slides down Zack's back like a slippery snake, and uses a schoolboy to bring him down! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Zack kicks out, but as he comes up Wright blasts him with a clothesline! CW circles his fallen foe, then stomps on his stomach before picking him up, readying him for a suplex, and then dumping him stomach first on the top rope! Zack slides out onto the apron, holding onto the ropes so that he doesn't fall to the floor, but CW hits the ropes and nails a low dropkick that sends Zack spilling to ringside! COLE He's right here in front of us! Wright preens for a moment, while Zack struggles to his feet. Zack hops up on the apron, where Wright meets him, and hooks him for a suplex. He brings Zack up, but Malibu falls out of his grasp, then hooks a rear waistlock and tries for a German! Wright clings to the ropes, so Zack hammers him across the back, then pulls him into the ring, only to have Wright drop into a seated position, then lean back and bring up his leg, kicking Zack across the top of his head! Zack stumbles back, and Wright pops up, then pulls Zack up for a vertical suplex, holding him upside down for what must seem like hours to Zack, until he's able to shift and counter with one of his own! Now Zack holds Wright upside down, but Wright counters THAT, and tries for a neckbreaker that Zack turns into a backslide at the last minute! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men get up, and Wright tries to catch Zack with his neckbreaker again, only for Zack to counter with a backslide again! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men get up, and Zack quickly hooks Wright in a butterfly lock, then throws knees while Wright is locked in the clinch. He breaks the hold and then sends Wright into the corner, then goes for the ZACK ATTACK II, but Wright moves out of the way! Zack lands on the middle rope, but before he can counter, Wright yanks his legs out from under him, dropping Zack jaw first on the top turnbuckle! ONE! TWO! NO! KICKOUT BY ZACK! COLE Both men trying their best here tonight. Malibu's trying to prove he's not outdated, and Wright's trying to show why he thinks he's underrated! Wright gets up and puts the boots to Zack before nailing a fistdrop. He pulls Zack up and nails two more European uppercuts, then picks Zack up and drops him with a backbreaker! Wright then props himself up on the middle rope and comes off with an elbow to Zack's jugular, nailing the target! COLE These two men have long been compared to one another. Both men of privelege, with tremendous talent, just with different mindsets on how to channel their gifts. COACH You got that right. Zack Malibu has been a sucker all his life, while Christian Wright doesn't let anyone screw him over, and that's why he's got a fat wallet, a spot in The Enterprise, and that's also why he's our REAL Franchise, Mikey Cole! Wright pulls Zack up, then scoops him onto his shoulders. Wright calls for the Bank Roll, but Malibu nails him with several elbows to break, then falls behind. From there it's German city for Mr. Wright, as Malibu hoists him over with one, two, three, four, FIVE German suplexes before stopping their and briding out for the pin! ONE! TWO! NO! SHOULDER UP BY WRIGHT! Zack doesn't stop there, as he pulls Wright up and fires him to the ropes...but Wright stops, drops, and rolls to the floor to clear his head after the suplex series! Malibu measures him up and goes for a baseball slide, but Wright steps out of the way, then yanks Malibu out to the floor! Malibu goes splat on the ringside floor, and Wright rolls back in and climbs to the top, going for the FROG SPLASH TO THE FLOOR...AND ZACK GETS THE KNEES UP~! COACH YO~! Wright connects, but not as he intended, and he kicks and screams as he curls up in the fetal postion. Malibu then moves into the mount and starts working Wright over with elbows, drawing blood from his nose, before the referee heads outside to break it up and orders Malibu back in. Malibu obliges, and gets into the ring...but when Wright uses the referee as a climbing tool and tugs on his shirt, pulling himself up off the floor, Malibu leaps up and springboards off the top rope, into a somersault plancha that wipes Wright out! COLE Great move by Zack! COACH Cowardly move by Zack! The man just got to his feet! Malibu lands on his feet and stands in the aisleway, working the crowd up as Wright sees stars. Zack takes him and hurls him back into the ring, and then springboards again, this time into the ring with a guillotine legdrop, further rattling The Natural! ONE! TWO! T-NO! KICKOUT! COLE I talked about comparisons before, and right there you see why Christian Wright is one of the best we have to offer in the OAOAST. Say what you want about his attitude, but he doesn't give up easily! Malibu brings Wright up, but out of nowhere, Wright powers up and lifts Malibu off his feet, delivering his patented WRIGHT OFF to The Franchise! COACH Ha HA! Caught Malibu off guard with that one! Both men lay on the canvas, as Wright is still in recovery mode and Malibu has just had the wind knocked out of him. Wright drags himself to the corner and pulls himself up, resting himself. Malibu starts to rise, but the moment Wright takes note of this, he hits a chop block, taking Zack's leg out from under him! Wright then takes the leg and drops an elbow on it, then delivers a few stomps before dragging Zack across the ring. Wright slips out under the bottom rope and tugs on Zack's leg, then rams it against the apron, continuing to wear it down! COLE Christian Wright has targeted that leg, and that's one way to keep Zack off his game! You can't hit School's Out with a bum leg! Zack starts crawling, but Wright comes in and drops an elbow to the back of the head, cutting Malibu off. He then takes Zack by the ankle and drives his knee into the canvas, then traps Zack with a stepover toehold! Zack tries to wriggle free but Wright continues to twist him up. Malibu agonizes, and Wright shuts him up by hitting the ropes and coming off with a kneedrop. He moves back to the legs, this time hooking the WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF and turning Zack over, trapping him in the hold! COACH Tap, bitch, tap! Malibu grunts and groans, already looking for the solace of the ring ropes so that the hold can be broken. He's too far away, however, and Wright leans back, pulling on Malibu's legs as he has them locked. Zack strains, sticking his arms out as far as they can reach, but he just can't do it, much to Wright's pleasure. Zack continues to struggle, and he starts pushing up off the mat, causing Wright to lose his leverage and the hold to weaken! Zack then starts crawling on his hands, trying with all his might before he finally collapses and reaches out, grasping the bottom rope! The ref calls for the break, and the fans erupt since their hero was able to escape! Wright will not be denied, however, as he drags Zack away from the ropes and pounds on him, then drags him up and sets up for a powerbomb...but Zack slips out...and his knee gives out, staggering him just enough so that Wright can KILL HIM DEAD with a hard lariat! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! KICKOUT! COLE The submission didn't work, and the pin didn't work either! Christian Wright, if you want to be The Franchise, you're going to have to work for it! Wright brings Zack up and fires him off to the ropes, but during his run Zack collapses, again holding his knee! The ref comes to check but Zack waves him off, wanting to recover on his own. Wright, not wanting to waste time, comes at Zack, but that's when Zack pops up and NAILS HIM WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT BEFORE COLLAPSING ON TOP OF HIM FOR THE PIN! COACH That dirty... COLE He got him! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! CHRISTIAN WRIGHT KICKS OUT! The ploy didn't go well for Malibu, as Wright gets a shoulder up just before the ref's hand comes down for the third time. Zack brings up him and goes to shoot him to the ropes, but Wright is dead weight. Malibu tries again, but Wright uses the momentum to run a knee into Zack's gut, then goes for the NIGHTMARE ON WALL STREET, however Zack uses a back bodydrop as he's trapped in the butterfly lock portion of the manuever, catching Wright in another pinning predicament! ONE! TWO! NO! Wright rolls over, arms still tangled with Zack's, and brings him up. He then copies Zack's trademark knees while he's got Malibu in the clinch, and THEN hits Nightmare On Wall Street! Malibu is feeling the effects as he twists in agony on the canvas, but when Wright goes for his legs again, Zack manages to kick him off! Zack gets to his feet but finds himself sent to the ropes, then nailed with a facebuster and an inverted atomic drop...but though he's stunned, Malibu counters Wright's STO with one of his own, then runs the ropes and hits his OWN kneedrop, countering the first portion of the C4 with the second portion of the C4! ONE! TWO! NO! Wright kicks out, and as Zack brings up him, Wright pulls his legs out from under him and goes for the Wallstreet Cloverleaf again, only to have Zack roll him up with a small package! ONE! TW-NO! WRIGHT ROLLS OVER INTO A PIN ON ZACK! ONE! TWO! NO! ZACK COUNTERS BY ROLLING AGAIN! ONE! TWO! COUNTER AGAIN BY WRIGHT! ONE! TWO! TH-KICKOUT! COLE I'm dizzy! COACH We know! Both men get up, both a bit worse for wear, and just start chopping each other as hard as they can. It's been an even match up thus far, and each man is hoping that the other is ready to break! Wright takes Zack and sends him to the corner, but when he charges Zack puts a boot up, then throws Wright in the corner and works him over with MORE chops before hitting a rolling snapmare, rolling with Wright, and then hitting the ropes to nail him with a ZACK ATTACK~! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! KICKOUT BY CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Malibu can't believe his bad luck, being unable to vanquish his old foe. He brings Wright up, but Wright shoves him away, then tries for a superkick...BUT IT'S CAUGHT! Zack holds the foot and sweeps the other leg, but as he goes for the figure four, Wright kicks him off and into the corner! Zack staggers back, and Wright brings him over with a German while he's dazed, but Zack floats over...AND HITS CUT DAY~! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE He got him! Give Christian Wright credit for going toe to toe with Zack Malibu, but there was no escape from that fatal manuever! COACH He didn't KILL him, Mikey Cole. Zack got lucky, plain and simple. COLE Some might call it luck, others might call it perserverence. Either way, Zack perserves his legacy and his standing as our Franchise, having now defeated the man looking to lay claim to that title! Yeah, you ordered the PPV, but in case you've forgotten... Thursday night is...

LSGS reunited! We get to hand pick the matches we'd like to write, right? If so, I'll take that one.

COLE What a wicked young woman she is. Right now, ladies and gentlemen, we're about set to go with a special bonus match. So without further, let's go back up to the ring for more action! “The World is Mine” by David Guetta cues and Lorelei DeCenzo leads her charges through the curtain flanked by green and gold spotlights. BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following BONUS match is scheduled for one fall and the right to face whoever the One & Only World tag team champions are at AngleSlam! Introducing first, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO and representing THE ENTERPRISE… at a total combine weight of 430 pounds … “THE BOSTON STRANGLER” COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and “THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT” SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Booed heavily, Reiger and CMJ brush the fans off. Posing mid-ring their hoods are lifted simultaneously by Lorelei. COLE As you heard, fans, we’re about set to go with a bonus match; the winners to receive a tag team title shot at our next pay-per-view event, AngleSlam, in San Juan, Puerto Rico. COACH We might as well pencil in Spencer Reiger and CMJ then. They beat Simon and Ned once already! “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the Orange County Cobras head to the ring with Molly Nerdly. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combine weight 460 pounds, the former 3-time World tag team champions and winners of the 2009 Anderson Cup… “BOX OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTYYYYY COOOOBRAS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Molly sprints down the aisle slapping as many hands as possible, so do Simon and Ned for that matter…UNTIL THEY’RE AMBUSHED BY V.I.C.E.! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley busts out his TELESCOPIC BATON once more to CLUB NED ACROSS THE LEG! COLE That’s uncalled for, damnit! COACH Well surprise, surprise. Now you scream bloody murder. Simon and Molly tend to Ned as OAOAST officials surround VICE. MOLLY WHY?! WHY HIM?! Now OAOAST trainers are out to check Ned. COACH What happens now, Cole? Do the O.C. Cobras forfeit? COLE I have no idea. They may have to though. Ned Blanchard is in no shape to compete. A STRETCHER is brought out but Ned refuses to be placed on it. Instead he demands to be helped towards the ring, which Simon and Molly assist him in doing so. COACH Ned’s even dumber than I thought if he really tries wrestling on a bad wheel. COLE Don’t confuse courage with stupidity, Coach. Ned makes it on the apron before collapsing. It’s then that Reiger and CMJ strike, yanking Simon inside for a 2 on 1 beat down. All the referee can do is throw his arms in the air as LORELEI sounds the bell. * DINGDINGDING * CMJ and Reiger club Simon simultaneously, then whip him into the ropes…but Simon ducks a double clothesline and levels both men with a FLYING CROSSBODY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon counters an Irish uppercut from CMJ into a BACKSLIDE! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! Reiger hammers away but Simon returns fire. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Simon fires Reiger off but telegraphs a backdrop, and Reiger plans to make him pay with THE REIGER COUNTER! NO! Double leg takedown grounds Reiger, who Simon slingshots into CMJ…but the Irish Golden Boy catches his partner and together spike Simon with a DOUBLE FLAPJACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! On the apron Molly frantically massages the knee of Ned. But right now all he can do is watch helplessly. COLE This is a dangerous time for Simon. Now that the momentum’s change how much longer can he fight off 2 men? CMJ rams Simon into the buckle and unleashes a combination of knife-edge chops and leg kicks. Then he whips Simon across and tags Reiger, who executes a RUNNING INVERTED BULLDOG! COACH New York Knockout! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Standing dropkick knocks Simon outside where CMJ slams him on the arena floor. The referee pre-occupied keeping Reiger away from Ned and Molly. COLE This is a perfect example as to why 2 referees should be required for all multi-man matches. COACH Instead of bitching you should run for OAOAST President and fix the problem yourself. CMJ receives the tag and delivers a T-Bone HARVARDPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CMJ looks to suplex Simon again, this time of the German variety…but Simon rolls through and hooks the legs! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! CMJ and Reiger beat down Simon again, and then send him in for the ride. Incredibly Ned decides to tag himself in! MOLLY After Simon is drilled by a DOUBLE STUN GUN, Ned hobbles in and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES THE LDC MONEYGANG! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER rids the ring of CMJ, which is bad news for Reiger as he’s left alone with Ned. Begging off in the corner he’s shown no mercy. Right hand after right hand rattling his brain. Following a back elbow Ned goes for his SLINGSHOT SUPLEX…BUT CMJ CLIPS THE LEG!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei jumps into the arms of her men in celebration. A title shot awaiting them in two months at AngleSlam. For the O.C. Cobras, it’s wait until next time. Simon and Molly more concerned with the well-being of Ned than anything else. COLE It may not have been the smartest move, but you gotta admire Ned for wanting to go down fighting. COACH Spin it however you want, Cole, the LDC Moneygang are next in line for a title shot. Considering how close they came to defeating Team Heyross at AngleMania, the champs have to be shaking in their boots. COLE I seriously doubt that. Right now let's go to the back, with Josh Matthews standing by. Back we go, to find our interviewer in front of the Great Angle Bash set. Next to Josh, hunched over, stands Leon Rodez. not in his ring gear, Leon is instead shirtless in black jeans. Teeth gritted and favouring his neck, Leon holds one arm up against his ribcage, which is taped up. MATTHEWS Well Leon, I guess in the end, you got what you wanted, a match tonight with Bohemoth. But the question is, at what cost? Grimacing, Leon takes a deep breath before talking. LEON Do any of us really get what we want? The world's full of people wishing and praying. Wishing for a better life. Praying for a better world. Why is that? It's because people don't get what they want. They get what's coming to them. (grimaces again) I'm sure everybody thinks that I got what was coming to me on Friday night. Including you. I can see it in your eyes. Hear it in your voice. You think I deserved to get attacked by Bohemoth. Josh does a bad job of hiding that Leon's right. LEON The fact is, it doesn't matter if I deserve it or not. I've been getting what's coming to me and more for months now. The realisation I've come to lately, is that life's going to knock me down no matter what I do. Six months ago, I probably wouldn't have set out on this path. I would have watched Jade get into this situation that she has and I would have sat back in the shadows, kept my mouth shut. Waited to see her get her heart broken, without putting any guilt on myself for having interfered and messed it up, for fear of getting what I deserved back. Guilt doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Life is going to knock me down, no matter how considerate I am. So if I'm going to get punished anyway, am I supposed to feel 'guilt' for opening Jade's eyes up to what life is really like instead of sitting back and watching her get strung along by false hope? Bohemoth was always going to break her heart. I just sped the process up. This... Leon points to his taped up ribs. LEON This isn't me getting what's coming to me. This is a means to an end. A neccessary sacrifice. Jade saw what she needed to see. And now, tonight, I'm going to do what needs to be done. If I have to suffer more along the way... so be it. Leon leaves, his exit a little less dramatic by the fact he has to limp away in pain.