Tony149

BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring...from Lincoln, Nebraska, weighing in at 215 pounds...Paul Roberts! Roberts raises his hand to the crowd, as a man wearing a large tan overcoat and a bright orange winter cap drives down the aisleway in a mo-ped, which has a large burlap sack sitting in a basket on the back of it. COACH Who's this guy? The man parks the mo-ped at the front of the aisleway, then takes the key out, and climbs off, pulling a small baggie of Goldfish crackers from his pocket. BUFFER His opponent...from Parts Unknown...weighing in at 230 pounds...DEADBEAT DAVE!!!!! COLE Deadbeat Dave is the man's name, apparently, and obviously this would be his debut here in the OAOAST! COACH This must be his pre-match meal or something here... Dave enters the ring by clrawling onto the apron and between the bottom and middle ropes, as if he's sneaking into someone's basement window. He then talks the official into holding his mo-ped key, before removing his coat and hat, revealing ripped-up blue jeans and a white sleeveless shirt with a big tear in the right side abdominal area. The referee then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Dave circles the ring with Roberts, who goes behind and grabs Dave in a hammerlock. Dave struggles in the hold, then looks behind him, and delivers an elbow to the face of Roberts. Roberts staggers into a corner, where Dave follows, hammering him with right hands and European uppercuts. Roberts sinks in the corner, and Dave stomps away until the referee backs him off. COLE And it's been all punch-kick from Deadbeat Dave so far, obviously an accomplished brawler! Dave picks up Roberts, and executes a scoop slam, then drops a knee to the sternum. COACH Deadbeat Dave really pacing himself here! Dave slowly backs into the ropes, and goes for an elbow, but Roberts rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home on that elbow! Roberts delivers right hands, then takes a step back, and executes a dropkick! COLE Great dropkick from Paul Roberts! Roberts then whips Dave into the ropes, and catches him with a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Roberts picks up Dave and whips him into a corner, then charges, but runs into the foot of Dave! COACH But he got caught! COLE A nice flurry by Paul Roberts, but stopped cold by that big boot! Dave measures Roberts from behind, then delivers a stiff clothesline! Dave then slowly picks up Roberts, and grabs him in a front facelock, then sets up a fisherman's suplex, lifting him up, then twisting him into a sitout driver! COACH Whoa! COLE What a move that was! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And Deadbeat Dave a winner in his OAOAST debut! BUFFER The winner of the match...DEADBEAT DAVE!!!!! Dave retrieves his key from the official, then makes his way back to his mo-ped. COLE An impressive debut by Deadbeat Dave here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, I'm sure we'll be hearing more about him in the coming weeks! Right now, let's go to... UNEXPECTED VOICE-OVER GUY And now, for Internacional news, let's take you to our Internacional correspondant, Landon Maddix. Our video starts with Landon Maddix, stood in front of a green screen with the Cucaracha Internacional logo on it. MADDIX Thank you Chuck. Well ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Unity. Recently, people have been asking, where's the power in the OAOAST? What's the strongest force in the wrestling world. Is it the In Crowd with their World Title monopoly? Or is it The Deadly Alliance, the pretenders to the throne? Or how about The Enterprise with their financial clout? The answer is simple. See, to have power in the world, you've got to be... Internacional. The green screen changes to a globe and Landon produces a pointer from nowhere. Five countries flash up on the map behind him. MADDIX Five countries, five strongholds of wrestling. America, naturally. Canada. Samoa. England. And most importantly of all, Spain. It's a global stronghold, a worldwide unity. Where-as the rest? The map changes to an American one, with question marks dotted around. MADDIX Well to be honest, the other groups are so unstable, I can't even remember who's in and who's out anymore! Away goes the pointer and the map. MADDIX The fact is, between us, Cucaracha Internacional have got every tool and every attribute you need to succeed. We cut away from Landon, to video footage, complete with dubbed on buzzwords. MADDIX SPEED Hitting the ropes in front, Landon catches Heat on his way up, around the head with his left arm, swinging himself around the back and bringing him down from the right side with an inverted bulldog! MADDIX STRENGTH Reaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!! MADDIX INTENSITY Straight on the bell, O'Hara runs at Black who throws a clothesline. O'Hara manages to duck underneath, but Black turns on his heels and WALLOPS O'Hara with the Black Lariat, dumping him right on the back of his head!! MADDIX AGILITY On the second rope he gets ready to take flight. However, Blonde reacts and grabs O'Hara's Nike trainer, dragging him off the ropes! The back of O'Hara's head bounces off the mat hard and he rolls away, ending up in position for Blonde to come off the ropes with the LIONSAULT!! MADDIX and a KILLER INSTINCT As Alf tries to get to his feet, Cortez slides down, jumps on Alf's head...and executes the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111 MADDIX We're not just the best in the OAOAST. We're the best in the WORLD! Faqu with the HI-YAH World Title, Cortez after winning the US Title, Landon from his time as OAOAST World Champion. MADDIX And with all that in mind, the question is, who's going to stop us in our quest for Internacional domination? No-one, that's who! We've set out the challenge. Four on four, can anyone beat my men, my Internacional squad of talent? Projections from wrestling experts say, no, nobody can. We'll have more on this global uprising as it happens. I'm Landon Maddix. Back to Sofa Central. COLE What was that about? COACH Internacional news update. COLE ...cute. I guess.

"Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and whisked to the ring by her knights in shining armor, figuratively speaking of course, is Queen Esther. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing team #1, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! At a total combine weight of 446 pounds... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HHHEEEEELLLLFIRE CLUB!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Met with hostility Esther answers with kindness, waving to the not-so-adoring masses until she’s nearly struck by a cup of beer! QUEEN ESTHER RICO/LUCIUS COACH Whose bright idea was it to book tonight’s show at the Hard Rock, Cole? It’s no place for a queen! Just look around, we’re surrounded by drunks and horny frat boys. COLE (clears throat) It’s a lively atmosphere to be sure, like it‘ll be next week in Montreal for the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and the crowd explodes. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 485 pounds… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW and Tim slap hands as the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club patiently await them in the ring. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN, the Citizen Soldiers issued a challenge to the Last Kings of Scotland for anytime, anywhere. COACH Right now let’s hear from Scottish Scott and Danny Boy, Mikey Cole, because they’re standing by with their answer. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COLE That match, ladies and gentlemen, has been signed for next week at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COACH The Citizen Soldiers are fools, Mikey Cole. Fools. It’s like they say, you can never out drink an Irishman or out fight a Scotsman. I predict the Citizen Soldiers suffer an embarrassing defeat next week. Both teams removed their pre-match attire and Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro are then ready to kick things off for their respective teams. * DINGDINGDING * They lockup as the bell sounds and into a neutral corner they go, where surprisingly we get a clean break. NOT! Baron ducks a cheap shot and staggers Rico with a combination of roundhouses and Cowboy Bebop elbows, then wrings the arm and delivers a BOOMERANG LARIAT! COLE MySpace Comeback! The Citizen Soldiers tag and Tim Cash blasts the King of Mardi Gras with a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Rico rakes the eyes and makes a tag. Double back elbow knocks Cash off his feet and Soul covers. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Soul whips Cash into the corner for a 360 STINGER SPLASH! COACH Soul Brother Splash~! Rather than go for the cover Soul struts while hand combing his afro. Once groomed to his liking he attempts a butterfly backbreaker…only to have Cash sit up and snap back into a HURRICARANA!! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash wrings the arm, snaps Soul over and then looks to apply THE CHUCK BERRY DUCK WALK, but a RUNNING HIGH KNEE from Rico de Janeiro puts an end to that, much to the delight of Queen Esther ringside. COACH I bet the Citizen Soldiers are regretting taking on this match a week before their showdown with the Last Kings of Scotland at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COLE I doubt that very seriously. They’re a fighting team. Like the Orange County Cobras, LDC Moneygang, they too want a shot at the tag team championship. The MGHFC tag and Rico lays the boots to Cash, and then rams him into the buckle where a series of powerful shoulder thrusts follow. Instructed to allow Cash out of the corner Rico obliges, not out of respect for the rules but so Lucius Soul can CHOKE THE CITIZEN SOLDIER WITH QUEEN ESTHER’S WAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stroking his porn ‘stache in sinister fashion, Rico grabs Cash and plants him mid-ring with a gut wrench suplex. Lucius Soul receives the tag and attempts a TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT…BUT NOBODY’S HOME! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" But wait! Soul’s giant afro cushioned the blow! Home boy dusts himself off and drops an elbow. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! At the Queen’s request, it’s time to put Cash away so Soul clamps his hands together and holds them against his ear. COACH Here it comes, Cole. Tim Cash about to Fro 2 Sleep. Just as he’s about to be draped across Soul’s shoulders, Cash floats over and locks on THE SLEEPER HOLD! COLE Do Not Resuscitate! A jawbreaker frees Soul and he tags out. “Who wants a moustache ride?” Rico asks. Not Tim Cash, he slips out and tags Baron, then nails Rico with an ENZIGURI~! On dream street Rico bumps into Baron Windels and a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT!! COLE What turn of events! Cash dropkicks Soul off the apron as Baron covers Rico. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… THE CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Citizen Soldiers’ hands are raised in victory. COLE Impressive victory for the Citizen Soldiers as they head to Montreal for their showdown next week against the Last Kings of Scotland. Stay with us, we‘re coming right back! And now, a OAOAST Video Break

Power has been transferred to me. That means I'm the acting President of the OAOAST! Forget this week's show. It'll be a two hour Tony Brannigan lovefest! All kidding aside, although I really am the acting OAOAST President, I got you covered. Hope to have the show up tonight.

"Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and whisked to the ring by her knights in shining armor, figuratively speaking of course, is Queen Esther. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing team #1, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! At a total combine weight of 446 pounds... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HHHEEEEELLLLFIRE CLUB!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Met with hostility Esther answers with kindness, waving to the not-so-adoring masses until she’s nearly struck by a cup of beer! QUEEN ESTHER :o RICO/LUCIUS :angry: COACH Whose bright idea was it to book tonight’s show at the Hard Rock, Cole? It’s no place for a queen! Just look around, we’re surrounded by drunks and horny frat boys. COLE :wub: (clears throat) It’s a lively atmosphere to be sure, like it‘ll be next week in Montreal for the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and the crowd explodes. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 485 pounds… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW and Tim slap hands as the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club patiently await them in the ring. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN, the Citizen Soldiers issued a challenge to the Last Kings of Scotland for anytime, anywhere. COACH Right now let’s hear from Scottish Scott and Danny Boy, Mikey Cole, because they’re standing by with their answer. [b][color="#FF8C00"][i]OAOAST[/i][/color][/b] [quote]DANNY BOY Oh, so it’s a fight ya Citizen Soldiers want, eh? Well a fight you’re gonna get. SCOTTISH SCOTT Your government warned of people like you, Baron Windels and Tim Cash. That’s why I always carry protection. :: raises spiked club:: You want us in the ring? Then we’re gonna do it the old Scottish way. First person to grab the club suspended on a pole can do whatever he sees fit. And I do mean [I]whatever[/I]. DANNY BOY Like bash your bloody head in, or shove it where the sun don’t shine! SCOTTISH SCOTT/DANNY BOY :lol:[/quote] [b][color="#FF8C00"][i]HeldDOWN~![/i][/color][/b] COLE That match, ladies and gentlemen, has been signed for next week at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COACH The Citizen Soldiers are fools, Mikey Cole. Fools. It’s like they say, you can never out drink an Irishman or out fight a Scotsman. I predict the Citizen Soldiers suffer an embarrassing defeat next week. Both teams removed their pre-match attire and Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro are then ready to kick things off for their respective teams. * DINGDINGDING * They lockup as the bell sounds and into a neutral corner they go, where surprisingly we get a clean break. NOT! Baron ducks a cheap shot and staggers Rico with a combination of roundhouses and Cowboy Bebop elbows, then wrings the arm and delivers a BOOMERANG LARIAT! COLE MySpace Comeback! The Citizen Soldiers tag and Tim Cash blasts the King of Mardi Gras with a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Rico rakes the eyes and makes a tag. Double back elbow knocks Cash off his feet and Soul covers. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Soul whips Cash into the corner for a 360 STINGER SPLASH! COACH Soul Brother Splash~! Rather than go for the cover Soul struts while hand combing his afro. Once groomed to his liking he attempts a butterfly backbreaker…only to have Cash sit up and snap back into a HURRICARANA!! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash wrings the arm, snaps Soul over and then looks to apply THE CHUCK BERRY DUCK WALK, but a RUNNING HIGH KNEE from Rico de Janeiro puts an end to that, much to the delight of Queen Esther ringside. COACH I bet the Citizen Soldiers are regretting taking on this match a week before their showdown with the Last Kings of Scotland at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COLE I doubt that very seriously. They’re a fighting team. Like the Orange County Cobras, LDC Moneygang, they too want a shot at the tag team championship. The MGHFC tag and Rico lays the boots to Cash, and then rams him into the buckle where a series of powerful shoulder thrusts follow. Instructed to allow Cash out of the corner Rico obliges, not out of respect for the rules but so Lucius Soul can CHOKE THE CITIZEN SOLDIER WITH QUEEN ESTHER’S WAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stroking his porn ‘stache in sinister fashion, Rico grabs Cash and plants him mid-ring with a gut wrench suplex. Lucius Soul receives the tag and attempts a TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT…BUT NOBODY’S HOME! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" But wait! Soul’s giant afro cushioned the blow! Home boy dusts himself off and drops an elbow. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! At the Queen’s request, it’s time to put Cash away so Soul clamps his hands together and holds them against his ear. COACH Here it comes, Cole. Tim Cash about to [I]Fro[/I] 2 Sleep. Just as he’s about to be draped across Soul’s shoulders, Cash floats over and locks on THE SLEEPER HOLD! COLE Do Not Resuscitate! A jawbreaker frees Soul and he tags out. “Who wants a moustache ride?” Rico asks. Not Tim Cash, he slips out and tags Baron, then nails Rico with an ENZIGURI~! On dream street Rico bumps into Baron Windels and a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT!! COLE What turn of events! Cash dropkicks Soul off the apron as Baron covers Rico. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… THE CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Citizen Soldiers’ hands are raised in victory. COLE Impressive victory for the Citizen Soldiers as they head to Montreal for their showdown next week against the Last Kings of Scotland. Stay with us, we‘re coming right back! [size="3"][color="#FF8C00"][b]And now, a OAOAST Video Break[/b][/color][/size] [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3CDDu4AYSg&feature=related[/video]

No, that happened in 1999. But that Nitro did have a memorable moment though, with Sting arriving in a helicopter for his tag match with Luger against Hogan & Savage. Very cool.

Morgan got framed! Framed I tell ya. Her conversation with Bosley was gold. And Dino would easily kick Barney's ass being the more athletic of the two. D*LUX vs. their dream girl Krista and Alix? That ought to be fun. Can't believe Sandman's been the Heartland champion for 19 months! Without checking it's gotta be the longest title reign in OAOAST history by a wide margin. Looking forward to seeing Tommy G. in the ring. I like what he's done so far. As I've said already, the main event ended in a shocker with Leon turning on Zack. It's like a modern day Hogan/Savage, except I don't think Zack would have any problem jobbing if need be! MOTN: MD/Reject vs. Zack/Leon LOL Moment:

KC: Patty Rule in effect if need be. Over at the world famous interview stage is OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN My guests this week have had their problems recently with the duo of Scottish Scott and Danny Boy, the Last Kings of Scotland. They are CITIZEN SOLDIERS… BARON WINDELS and TIM CASH!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW and Tim salute the crowd as they arrive on the podium still bandaged to the tune of “Citizen Soldier“ by 3 Doors Down. BRANNIGAN Gentlemen, next week you have the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club in tag action, but I want to take you back to a recent bout pitting Baron Windels against Rico de Janeiro, where on the verge of victory Scottish Scott interfered to cost Baron the match. [color="#FF8C00"][b]HeldDOWN~! April 12, 2009[/b][/color] [quote]On the outside, Queen Esther waves her wand over her head. And AS IF BY MAGIC, through the crowd, SCOTTISH SCOTT of The Last Kings Of Scotland appears from through the crowd. Baron glances up at the distraction on the apron, unaware of Scott climbing the turnbuckles behind him and coming off the top, DRIVING THE HANDLE OF HIS SPIKED CLUB INTO THE BACK OF BARON'S HEAD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scott turns Rico over on top and Lucius conveniently wraps up his convesation with the ref, who doesn't hear Melody's pleas not to count... 1... 2... 3!!![/quote] BARON I guess our blood wasn’t enough for them, Tony. As you can see, Tim and I still sport the battle scars we received at the hands of Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. These bandages remind us of the threat we face, because the Last Kings play by their own set of rules, which is anything and everything goes. TIM Like Baron said, the Last Kings play by no rules. In their sick minds hitting somebody with a spiked club is legal as a headlock. Well in the spirit of competition, let us meet to determine who the better men are. BARON No more sneak attacks, boys. Let’s settle our issues in the ring like men, not cowards. If you got a pair, then you‘ll accept our challenge. Anytime, anywhere is fine by us. TIM Now you know. TIM/BARON And knowing is half the battle! “Citizen Soldier” cues and the Citizen Soldiers exit to thunderous cheers and applause.

BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, first hailing from Omaha, Nebraska and weighing 240 pounds… “SLOPPY” JOE MANWICH! His partner resides in the Everglades and weighs 215 pounds… OUTHOUSE JACK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sloppy Joe, a chunky red head wearing a stained t-shirt and jeans, makes a not-so-nice gesture in response to the crowd. Meanwhile, Outhouse Jack, a bearded individual sporting a green flannel and tan camouflage pants, whips out his HUNTING KNIFE eager to slice and dice. COACH Imagine these guys coming home for dinner, Mikey Cole. COLE I’d rather not! COACH Heck, Outhouse Jack would probably bring the dinner! Instead of a sloppy joe you can have a sloppy alligator! COLE :throwup: “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the Orange County Cobras are led ringside by Molly Nerdly. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY! From the O.C., total combine weight 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Off come the vests and the OCC are set for action. COLE As summer nears, the competition is heating up in the OAOAST, especially in the tag division. Simon and Ned have made it clear capturing the tag titles is next on the agenda, but not if the gentlemen standing by have anything to say about it. A small but noticeable box swoops in on the upper left hand corner of the screen, where in front of a grayish background V.I.C.E. stand. [b][color="#FF8C00"][i]OAOAST[/i][/color][/b] [quote]CPA Like the old saying goes, it’s better to be lucky than good. BOSLEY And lucky you silly O.C. bastards were at AngleMania. Lucky you didn’t have to face us because, as ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY is my witness, had we crossed paths you damn sure wouldn’t be $50,000 richer. As far as we’re concerned, that’s our money. CPA And we’re coming to collect. BOSLEY ASAP, bitches! [/quote] [b][color="#FF8C00"][i]HeldDOWN~![/i][/color][/b] COLE Well as far as I’m concerned, V.I.C.E. and the Enterprise duo of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright got what they deserved trying to stage the outcome of the AngleMania Payday gauntlet match. COACH Stage?! It was the most grueling 10 seconds of action in history, Cole. COLE Oh, please. Moving on, it appears Simon Singleton and Sloppy Joe will start for their respective teams. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and Joe grabs a side headlock out of a tie-up, only to be shoved off into the ropes. Simon drops down and executes a hip toss on the rebound, then a standing dropkick! His arm wrung Joe is whipped in following an OCC tag, and Simon performs a drop toehold as Ned delivers the POINTY~! ELBOW off the ropes! COLE Beautiful double-team work right there. Ned rams Joe into the top buckle, then STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY! COACH Come on, referee. Blanchard’s gotta let him out of the corner. What the referee doesn’t do, or can’t, Outhouse Jack gets done, clubbing Ned across the back to get him away. Ned takes offense so he invites Jack to step into the ring. And the man from the Everglades does! COLE Look at this! Jack’s accepted Ned’s invitation! COACH And you’re surprised? The man hunts for his food, Cole. He’s encountered more dangerous mammals than Ned Blanchard. Both men lockup and Jack RAKES the eyes! He clubs Ned across the shoulders, and then slams him. Outhouse Jack drops the big leg and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Jack brings Ned up and rams… NO! Ned blocks an attempted turnbuckle smash and sends Jack face-first instead! Rights and chops follow in the corner, then a back elbow off the ropes. But little does Ned know of a blind tag. He covers Jack and gets kicked upside the head by Joe! COACH A couple more kicks like that and Ned won’t look so handsome anymore. Ned reverses a whip and back drops his meaty foe, then plants him with THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! The OCC tag and THE ATOMIC BLOND (Rocket Launcher) is dropped!!! Simon makes the cover as Ned takes care of Outhouse Jack. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The OCC and Molly celebrate. COLE Simon and Ned continue to roll, perhaps well on their way to a fourth tag title reign.

Orange County Cobras in action and Citizen Soldiers promo

Yeah, pretty good stuff this week. Melody going off about the outdated gear and whatever on the LOAM video game was great. I'm like that. I expect video game developers to get the little things right. But where did the No Homo pics come from? Patty creations or found online? Krista I think was Stacy Keibler. Right?

In checking out your additions (very nice, btw), I noticed a few typos on my part. Those have since been corrected.

BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the 2009 manager of the year and NYU grad student Molly Nerdly and the winners of the $50,000 AngleMania Payday gauntlet and 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The OCC and Molly arrive at the INTERVIEW STAGE with two MONEYBAGS. MOLLY Tony, I would just like to express what a joy it is to be back in New York City with my OAOAST fellows. To be able to share the joys of being molested on the subway or witness a homeless man defecating at a bus stop is a dream come true for me. I know my fellows love New York as much as I do. "YEAAAAAAAAAAA!" BRANNIGAN Simon, Ned, congratulations on your big victory at AngleMania VIII. In addition to being $50,000 richer, I know it had to be extra sweet to last eliminate your former Enterprise partners Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright for the win. SIMON Oh, how sweet it is, Tony! We finally settled the score once and for all with Theodore Moneymaker. Now it’s time for us to get back where we were on 3 previous occasions -- on top! Team Heyross, you’re a great team, quite possibly the greatest in some eyes, but the Orange County Cobras are putting you on notice. We’re prepping to strike and take away those shiny belts around your waists. MOLLY Now, Ned, can we speak with politeness, tact, and dignity this time. Vulgar words indicate a limited mind! NED Ah hell, Molly. MOLLY That's precisely what I'm saying! NED God damn it, Molly, lemme finish. MOLLY You're doing it again. NED Son of a bitch, I'm just trynna talk. MOLLY I give up! BRANNIGAN Ned, could we continue NED You see the bag in my hand, Brannigan? BRANNIGAN How can you miss it? It’s huge! NED Heh, that’s what Krista said the first time she unzipped my pants! MOLLY Why? Why must we go down that road? NED But anyway, in the bags Simon and I hold is our prize money from AngleMania. BRANNIGAN You’ve got $50,000 on hand?! NED We couldn’t fit $50,000 in these bags even if we tried, but it’s still a nice chunk of dough. SIMON Say Tony, you’re looking real spiffy tonight. You got a hot date after the show, or what? BRANNIGAN Well no. My current plan is to head back to the hotel and watch this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York. SIMON :huh: BRANNIGAN Am I correct to assume you must be fans of the Orange County series? NED What the hell kind of sissy boy crap did you just accuse me of? MOLLY "To be calm, is to be loved" quote the great child star Shirley Temple NED (pulls a few C-notes out of moneybag) What the hell, ya gotta point? With the blind fella's predecessor out of office, there's one less working girl. So gere’s a few hundred dollars, Brannigan. Go find yourself some fun tonight. Right now Simon and I have some business to tend to. That business happens to be TOSSING MONEY INTO THE CROWD!!! COLE Oh, my! COACH They’re giving away free money?!? Can you carry the load for awhile, Cole? I gotta go get some. COLE Sit back down! We got a match coming up! COACH Forget the match! Let's grab some free, easy money! “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits as Lorelei DeCenzo leads Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr. onstage, but they cross paths with the Orange County Cobras as the latter attempts to head backstage following their money giveaway. COLE We may have some fireworks here. COACH You can practically see the jealously oozing out the pores of Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. COLE I beg to differ. There’s no jealously, they’re hatred. Remember it was Spencer Reiger and CMJ who stole the Cobras’ tag title shot at AngleMania. That in addition to obtaining the Beverly Hills Blonds name for Theodore Moneymaker who was engaged in a dispute with Simon and Ned over who really owned the naming rights. COACH Everybody knows Theodore Moneymaker did, but let’s not beat a dead horse. Thankfully things don’t get physical between the two teams, as the LDC Moneygang walk away with smirks on their faces. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing THE ENTERPRISE and accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO! At a total combine weight of 430 pounds, here are COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and “THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT” SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] [I]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you[/I] "Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" by Robert Palmer plays the strip teasing Love Doctors to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, total combine weight 435 pounds, the team of DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Docs return the love with a big thumb ups. COLE It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Love Doctors in action, Coach. COACH Yeah, it’ll be interesting to see if there’s any ring rust. Where’ve they been anyway? COLE Attending various medical conferences. COACH To meet chicks? COLE No, although I’m sure they did. Steven Pigley happened to have a number of ladies on his Love Line radio program, which he took on the road for said conferences. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Spencer Reiger grew up a Yankees fan, how big do you think it is right now to be playing in the home of his childhood heroes! COLE Actually I believe Spencer was a Mets fan. COACH Damn even the golden child ain't perfect! CMJ and Dr. Max lockup and CMJ goes behind to deliver a sick HIGH-LIFTING GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE Irish Suplex! Dr. Max is brought to his feet and hammered by an Irish uppercut. Reiger receives the tag after CMJ whips Dr. Max into the ropes. The Irish Golden Boy drops down as Dr. Max rebounds and Reiger performs a RUNNING INVERTED BULLDOG! COACH New York Knockout! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY DR. STEVEN! COLE Reiger almost with a victory in front of his hometown crowd, his parents watching on from the luxury boxes. Furious at Pigley, Reiger issues a challenge. He shoves Anderson to the corner so Pigley can tag in. Both men tie-up and exchange arm wringers. Reiger flips over and trips Pigley, then stomps him. Pigley is rammed into the knee of CMJ and the LDC Moneygang tag. They whip Pigley hard into their corner, where CMJ unleashes a combination of Irish uppercuts and knife-edge chops. Instructed to allow Pigley out of the corner, CMJ and the official get into a deep discussion about the upcoming NBA playoffs. All this while Reiger CHOKES Pigley with the drawstring of his shorts! COLE Come on, ref. Behind you! When the referee looks back to check, Reiger is cool as a cumber. CMJ executes a HARVARDPLEX and tags Reiger, who delivers a measured knee drop. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger slams Pigley and heads up top for a MOONSAULT…BUT ANDERSON RUSHES OVER TO HIT A LARIAT~! COACH Oh, what a cheap shot! COLE (sarcastically) We know those golden boys Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr. would never stoop to that level. COACH You damn right they wouldn’t! Reiger falls to the canvas and is covered. ONE! TWO! NO! COACH Thank god. I don't think Spencer's parents are the kind that'd take kindly to their eldest boy being beat on by an AM radio disc jockey. Reiger kicks out and tags CMJ. "RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK!" the fans chant to work on the Boston boy's nerve Pigley blocks an Irish uppercut and executes a BACKSLIDE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pigley unloads on CMJ, and then hip tosses him off the ropes. CMJ charges into a pair of dropkicks and is slammed. STANDING MOONSAULT connects and Pigley covers! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! Dr. Max enters and plants Reiger with an ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER! COACH This referee’s lost control of the match, Cole. All hell’s breaking loose. Pigley delivers an inverted atomic drop on CMJ, but holds on as Anderson hits the ropes and dropkicks the Irish Golden Boy square in the face! COLE It’s THE LOVEMATIC GRAMPA~! Pigley somersaults on top with both legs secured. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Anderson receives the tag and floors CMJ with a SPINNING BACKFIST. He then rams CMJ into the buckle and dishes out a series of rapid-fire knife edge chops, before whipping him out of the corner and hitting a LARIAT! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! COLE Boy was that close. CMJ just got the shoulder up. Anderson lifts CMJ and gets struck by an Irish uppercut. CMJ tags out and Reiger is back dropped on the way in! Anderson hammers away, then fires Reiger into the ropes for another backdrop…but New York’s Finest puts on the brakes and hooks both of Anderson’s arms. COLE Uh-oh, Dr. Max in real trouble here. CMJ enters to knock Pigley off the apron, then leaps from the middle rope to complete the SPIKE REIGER COUNTER! COACH Time of death: right now, because the Love Doctors don’t have the Luck of the Irish on their side, Mikey Cole. Reiger covers. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE New York's finest looking the part here in his home city! "Party at the meat packing district!" Spencer shouts to a suddenly pleased front row crowd, they're less pleased when he informs them they're not invited. Lorelei shoos away the referee and raises the hands of Reiger and CMJ herself. COLE We mentioned how the Love Doctors haven’t been completing regularly for sometime, and it showed very early on. They mounted a comeback but it wasn’t enough in the end. COACH The Love Doctors made it interesting alright. But what a team Spencer Reiger and CMJ are. I’m telling you, Cole, they’re gonna be tag team champions in due time. Team Heyross better avoid them like the plague if they want to stay the champs.

Which is funny because I think KC writes Bosley better than me. But at Patty not laughing at his own jokes. That's like Kobe not liking to shoot.

If you had asked this question a year ago my answer would've been Ned. MD simply caught fire and has stayed hot since. When you consider he's controlled by two of the biggest Mr. Ass marks around, it makes sense. It's like we're righting a wrong in our own unique way!

Like my wrestling viewing habit back in the day, I try not to play favorites, but if pressed I'd say Mr. Dick. Unlike some of our other characters, MD is both funny (at times, he isn't 100% comedy) and a legit threat in the ring. Although out of all my characters I've misused the Heavenly Rockers the most, IMO. Their face run was fine, it's their heel run I'm referring to. Great gimmick, but with so many characters to juggle somebody's gonna get lost in the shuffle and it's been them unfortunately.

“Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends cues and the Last Kings of Scotland march to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Glasgow, Scotland, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds, Europe’s finest athletes… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The madman that he is, Scottish Scott threatens to club OAOAST Marks booing which is damn near everybody! Luckily the lights dim and Los Diablos de Fuego prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage to the tune of "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell. BUFFER Their opponents, from beautiful, sunny Cabo San Lucas, México… uno tag team muy caliente… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Moracca and Mariachi get up close and personal with a few twenty-something males ringside. One of whom receives Moracca’s sombrero and a playful kiss from both Diablos. COACH What good guys they are, Cole, sexual harassing our fans. COLE It’s all in good fun, Coach. But there was no fun two weeks ago at AngleMania VIII for the Citizen Soldiers. Though they avenged their loss three nights prior on HeldDOWN, after eliminating the Last Kings of Scotland from the $50,000 AngleMania payday tag gauntlet Baron Windels was viciously attacked by Scottish Scott. [b][color="#0000FF"]ANGLEMANIA VIII[/color] [color="#FF8C00"]COURTESY: OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT AVAILABLE ON DVD/BLU-RAY MAY 5[/b][/color] [quote]Danny Boy swings through on a punch and Cash shoves him into Scottish Scott! To the floor goes Scottish Scott, while Danny stumbles back at Cash who performs a knee breaker into a back suplex! He then hooks the legs and clamps on the MIDWEST SLING! COACH He’s got it locked right in the center of the ring, Cole. Danny Boy taps! *DINGDINGDING!* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: The Last Kings of Scotland Entered: #9 Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Citizen Soldiers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scottish Scott refuses to go quietly, however. He grabs his SPIKED CLUB and NAILS BARON![/quote] COLE And then we know what happened last week, with Scottish Scott costing Baron Windels his match against Rico de Janeiro. COACH The Braveheart is batting a thousand against the Citizen Soldiers, Mikey Cole. He’s 2 for 2. COLE In honor of baseball season I guess. But you are correct. Tim Cash was the first member of his team to come face-to-face with the spiked club of Scottish Scott, who’s left both Citizen Soldiers in pools of their own blood in recent weeks. I’d call for OAOAST President Josie Baker to intervene but she may be running on borrowed time according to reports. Moracca hops onto the apron and grinds his body against the ropes as Mariachi stares seductively into the camera sucking on the middle prong of his pitch fork. Their backs turned Los Diablos get ambushed! * DINGDINGDING * The attack causes Mariachi to DEEP THROAT the middle prong! COACH It appears Mariachi’s got some experience on that end, Cole. With his partner down Moracca is subjected to a 2 on 1 beat down until the referee gets Scottish Scott to exit. Danny Boy attempts to deliver his signature pump handle fall away slam, but Moracca slips over the top and performs his modified version of the move -- a PUMP HANDLE SIDEWALK SLAM! COLE Be careful Danny Boy, the ring gets SLIPPERY WHEN WET~! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Moracca moves and Scottish Scott drops a knee on Danny! SCOTTISH SCOTT :o Scotty can’t believe it, nor can he believe what happens next…a DOUBLE HALF-NELSON FACEBUSTER! COACH I’ll give this to Los Diablos: they’re consistent. They do everything illegally! COLE :rolleyes: The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moracca wrings the arm, and then sensually rubs Danny’s hands against his genitals! COACH Getting hit by a spiked club sounds good right about now, don’t you think, Cole? COLE Neither sounds real enticing, although this is certainly the less painful. Well physically at least, not so much emotionally I’d imagine. Mariachi receives the tag and executes a SPRINGBOARD ARM DRAG! Danny charges forward but the flaming luchador slides between the legs, performs a trip and rides him like a horse! MARIACHI (slapping Danny’s ass) GIDDY UP! Danny tries to shake Mariachi off much like a real horse would, but he only adds to the humiliation. Scottish Scott finally puts an end to the circus with a running high knee, which he celebrates by pounding his chest in Dino Bravo fashion. The Last Kings tag and Scottish Scott lays the boots to Mariachi. COACH Are you having a good time now, Mariachi? No! Rammed into the buckle Mariachi is hammered in the corner by clubbing forearms. Scott whips him off and nails a back elbow. Big leg drop follows and so does a pin attempt. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Last Kings make a quick tag and HOT SHOT the flaming luchador! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MORACCA! Unlike earlier, this time Danny Boy is able to hit the PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM! He then breaks out the air bagpipes and drops both knee into the sternum of Mariachi! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny signals the end and places Mariachi on the top rope. COLE Are we gonna see the Flower of Scotland top rope brain buster? Mariachi blocks the lift and PLANTS A BIG WET ONE~! COACH I think I’m gonna throw up. COLE At least you wouldn’t be the only wrestling broadcaster to embarrass himself on-air this week. Mariachi delivers a SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB! The count. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY SCOTTISH SCOTT! Moracca enters and a melee ensues. COACH We’ve got all 4 men going at it, Cole. Scottish Scott gets whipped in, but he puts on the brakes and hits Moracca with a JUMPING PILEDRIVER! The Last Kings beautifully execute a FLAPJACK, and then perform DOUBLE TOP ROPE LEG DROPS!! COLE Highland Farewell! And this one is over. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… SCOTTISH SCOTT and DANNY BOY… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings aren’t done yet. Scottish Scott grabs his SPIKED CLUB and gets ready to deliver another hit when he and Danny are chased away by THE CITIZEN SOLDIERS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Baron Windels (sporting bandage) and Tim Cash invite the Last Kings inside to no avail. Scottish Scott and Danny Boy perfectly fine waiting to meet another time. COLE The Last Kings of Scotland can run for now, but at some point they’re gonna have to step in the ring with the Citizen Soldiers. COACH If the Citizen Soldiers value their personal welfare, they won’t press their luck because the Last Kings won’t have a probably inflicting bodily harm on them.

Last Kings of Scotland vs. Los Diablos de Fuego And time permitting... LDC Moneygang vs. Love Doctors (unless Patty has something planned, although like I said, time permitting)

Backstage the Orange County Cobras are standing by. SIMON Ned and I had the honor of working a series of tag bouts last summer with Sly Sommers and his fellow In Crowd buddies. Those matches are still talked about even though they occurred at non-televised events thanks in large part to his performance. To say he was an amazing talent would be a gross understatement. NED Loaded as the OAOAST is with superstars, Sly Sommers is one guy I’d have paid to see wrestle. Had he been able to stay healthy there’s no doubt in our minds he would’ve held the OAOAST Championship at some point, that’s how good he was. There’ll never be another one quite like him.

VICE remember Sly; Patty Rule in effect (I've been stricken by AM burnout) COLE As we continue to celebrate the life of Sly Sommers, we go live right now to Tango Bosley and Christopher Patrick Allen for their thoughts on our fallen friend. BOSLEY It might come as a shock that we actually have something nice to say. But we do. Although we didn’t know Sly well, we do know the people he associated with, two guys we’ll face later tonight in Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, and if they’re any indication, Sly Sommers must’ve been one miserable son of a bitch! CPA Say man, why don’t we bring Sly in to defend himself from these charges? COLE/COACH :huh: BOSLEY That sounds fair. Give me a second. Bosley exit’s the picture and returns holding a skeleton with an In Crowd t-shirt. BOSLEY Were you a miserable son of a bitch, Sly? Obviously there’s no response. BOSLEY Are you refusing to cooperate with the AMOG, the Alpha Male of the Group?! Again silence. So Bosley whips out his telescopic baton and delivers a beating. BOSLEY You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say won’t stop us from kicking Zack and Leon’s ass. They have the right to defend your honor, but when it’s all said and done they’ll be our prison bitches! Do you understand? CPA :lol: COLE The man’s family and friends are still in mourning, damnit! They don’t need to witness this disgusting display! We cut away…

I should've gone with my original idea to do SR/CMJ vs. Love Docs. I'm very disappointed with my work this week. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but this could've been so much better. Goddamn AM burnout. Apologizes to KC and Zack. EDIT: Patty Rule in effect for match as well. So if anybody wants to add/change something, feel free. Non-point’s cover of the Phil Collins classic “In the Air Tonight” plays VICE to the ring. BUFFER The following contest scheduled for one fall is our main event of the evening! Introducing first, led down the aisle by their manager, the NEW OAOAST Women’s Champion INSPECTOR MORGAN NERDLY! Violators, Intimidators and Capital E-fenders... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VICE don’t come alone. They’ve also bring along the “skeletal remains” of Sly Sommers! Bosley presses the skeleton against the ring post while CPA cuffs a ball and chain to its ankle. COLE I can’t believe the nerves of these guys. Boy is there gonna be hell to pay in a matter of moments. “Getting Away With Murder” hits and the Usual Suspects power walk to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents, representing THE IN CROWD! At a total combined weight of 428 pounds, here are "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion ZACK MALIBU… THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Franchise burns a hole through VICE as he slaps hands. Leon Rodez, however, clearly isn’t his usual happy-go-lucky self. COLE You gotta wonder what’s going through the minds of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. It’s been an emotional night for everyone involved, but doubly so for the surviving In Crowd members. COACH I can tell you what’s on Leon’s mind: How could I lose to Tha Puerto Rican? There are bad loses and then there are [I]bad[/I] loses, Mikey Cole. I’d be dejected too if I lost to the people‘s chump. COLE Leon Rodez hasn’t had the best of luck lately, no doubt about that. But what a match-up he and the People’s [I]Champ[/I] had this past Sunday at AngleMania. If you missed it, ladies and gentlemen, be sure to catch the encore presentation all this month on pay-per-view. The pre-match garb is removed and we get set for action. Black arm bands sported by the Usual Suspects, black wrist tape by VICE (how very subtle!). * DINGDINGDING * Leon steps out on the apron, much to Zack’s surprise. It’s all good though. He pats his partner on the back and locks up with Tango Bosley. The Franchise takes a knee to the gut but ducks a roundhouse kick and performs a back suplex. Rather than go for a quick cover he mounts Bosley and hammers away. COLE You better believe those are for Sly. Bosley shoves Zack off and heads for the nearest corner. Bad mistake as Zack hits THE ZACK ATTACK II, and then spikes Bosley mid-ring with a BULLDOG! Inspector Nerdly gives the orders and CPA gets drilled by a DOUBLE DROPKICK! COLE I don’t think that’s what Morgan had in mind sending reinforcement. COACH That referee is bias, Cole. He’s letting the Usual Suspects get away with murder in there. VICE regroup outside, while the Usual Suspects stand tall inside. “SLY!” “SLY!” “SLY!” Zack works the crowd, then goes to work on CPA after evading a corner charge. He wrings the arm and gets popped in the mouth for his trouble! Hard right hands from the former boxer rock The Franchise. CPA then whips him into the ropes for a FRONT SPINEBUSTER… BUT LEON DROPKICKS ZACK ON TOP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Usual Suspects tag and Leon Rodez lands a… Jab! Jab! Jab! Jab! Leon blows a kiss to the crowd, then nails the ENZIGURI~! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! CPA stumbles across the ring and down throat-first on the middle rope. COACH Uh-oh. Leon does a little dance, and then crashes all his weight across the spine of CPA! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! Leon turns and walks straight into a ROUNDHOUSE KICK! COACH That’s what made Tango Bosley a great detective in his previous profession, baby boy. He was always right on top of the case. VICE tag and Bosley does a dance number of his own, which steps consists of stomping Leon relentlessly! BOSLEY DOES IT HURT? DOES IT HURT? YEAH, FEEL THE PAIN!!! Bosley attempts an Irish whip but Leon reverses and executes a SITOUT HIP TOSS! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Leon wrings the arm and tags Zack, who delivers a top rope double axe handle onto the outstretched limb of the AMOG. A quick tag is utilized and the Usual Suspects repeat the aforementioned spot. Leon goes back to the arm wringer only to be whipped off. There waiting for the Grand Rapids Golden Child is CPA, but Leon slides under the bottom rope and through CPA’s legs, then yanks him off the apron where the big guy’s smacks hard face first! COLE What athleticism! Leon fakes a slingshot cross body and takes Bosley down in a SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! A martial arts back elbow, whatever the hell that means (it just sounded good), knocks Leon outside. Zack rushes to his partner’s side but is soon ordered back to his corner. And when the cat’s away the mice come out to play. CPA drops the heavy ball attached to skeleton on Leon’s stomach! COLE That damn bully! CPA helps roll Leon back in and a tag is made. Bosley holds Leon upright as CPA performs a TOP ROPE FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! COACH Now [I]that’s[/I] impressive. COLE Indeed it was. CPA expanding his wrestling repertoire. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ZACK! “LE-ON!” “LE-ON!” “LE-ON!” CPA scoops Leon up and delivers a TILT-A-WHIRL SIDE SLAM! BOSLEY ONE MORE, BABY! ONE MORE! CPA obliges…but this time LEON COUNTERS WITH A DDT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cheered on by Zack and thousands of OAOAST Marks, Leon manages to make the tag! BOSLEY YOU AND ME, FOOL! YOU AND ME! COME GET YOU SOME! CPA still reeling from the DDT, it’s Tango Bosley who must tame the raging wildfire that is Zack Malibu and he does a piss poor job. The World Champion whips him off and executes a BAAAAAAACK body drop. CPA sneaks up behind and throws his dreaded GIGATON PUNCH…but Zack ducks and BLASTS HIM WITH SCHOOL’S OUT! INSPECTOR NERDLY :o Leon returns and takes Bosley down, then over in the LIONTAMER! Bosley taps as the referee counts… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, representing THE IN CROWD… LEON RODEZ and ZACK MALIBU… THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE A fitting end to an emotional night. The In Crowd victorious on the night we celebrate the life of one of their own. Rest in peace Sly. Zack points to the heavens and then to his heart, then locks eyes with MR. DICK who appears onstage. We fade to black with the two men staring each other down.

V.I.C.E. vs. The Usual Suspects (Zack Malibu & Leon Rodez)

Alf needs to repackage Jumbo in some kind of Akeem inspired gimmick. A jive talking genie who comes out to "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera to put a OAOAST spin on it! In all seriousness, I wouldn't mind a Zack-Deuce Deuce Bigelow AM match. Put the Franchise in there with a big guy who can go. Mario's AM VII idea could've been fun IMO. Looking back I'm surprised we never did AS vs. AP at AM. Then again, 'Sault was pretty much gone after a year IIRC.

Big show opening as you’d expect for an event like AM. I haven’t seen the Star Trek trailer, but when I read the hot rod part Zack immediately popped into mind. Blonde vs. Cortez: Fun opener. But I think KC saw the AM predictions thread and changed the finish to swerve everybody! at the King of No Homo. $50,000 AM Payday Tag Gauntlet: KC did an excellent job with his half. Los Diablos were great, and the camel clutch comment was gold. Celebrity sighting at AM, but more importantly a special appearance from MISTER Warrior! And I’d get a PS3 for a LOAM game. Morgan vs. Jade: Talk about an upset. I gave Morgan 0 chance of winning, this being her first major match and all. And what a match it was. My early MOTN. We get our ESPN moment next with Peyton Manning knocking out TK. Smart of him to hit with his non-throwing hand. Vinny Valentine is getting some major face time. The whole segment with him, the Burroughs Boys, cousin Tony and COD was beyond awesome. It had me LMAO. On a related note, Glock Lesnar should become Alix’s alter ego. Mr. Dick vs. Krista: Patty really put over MD strong. Krista took an ass-kicking at the end there. Her Andre the Giant-esque undefeated streak no more. But at least she got a happy ending (not that kind). Alf vs. Reject: Alf made a trip home defeating the man who led the coup to oust him as DA leader. MOTN: Morgan vs. Jade Rodez-Duncan and MD vs. Krista (it’s AM, I can pick two!) Quote of the Show: “We got this animated nigga character, called DUH KING, and he like the Burger King King only he animated and shit. Shit is gritty like The Wire and its thugged out as hell. ‘Cause son be shootin up McDonald’s and Taco Bells and he be fuckin’ that freckled bitch Wendy on the side, smell me?” -- Quincy LOL Moment:

The show is tonight, or tomorrow depending on when everything is turned in, so as we eagerly await let's make our AM predictions. My picks will be in bold. Note: I didn't predict any of the tag matches since I know who's winning. WORLD TITLE: ZACK MALIBU VS BO III ALFDOGG VS REJECT KRISTA VS MISTER DICK W/SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LINDSAY LOHAN PRL VS LEON RODEZ TAG TITLE: Team Heyross vs. LDC Moneygang $50,000 ANGLEMANIA PAYDAY TAG GAUNTLET (just about every tag team is entered so pick any one) WOMEN'S TITLE: MORGAN NERDLY VS JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN US TITLE: TODD CORTEZ VS JAMES BLONDE W/SPECIAL GUEST REF LANDON MADDIX

Pretty good show this week I thought. Only 3 matches but they were all fun in their own way. You had Biff losing in memorable fashion and then a really good Women’s title match with Morgan turning on Jade at the end. But the highlight, next to the “magic mirror” bit, was the AM Q&A session where PRL and Leon got into it. MOTN: Biff Atlas vs. Liberty for comedic purposes LOL Moment: