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Allison vs. Candie: Fine choice for an opener, with the baby face Candie returning to pick up the W. Melody vs. Jade: The women’s division hot streak continues. at the 3 Stooges offense from Melody. Malaysia vs. Krista: Does anything Patty writes suck? The answer of course is no. His usual greatness showed off yet again. Nice AM 8 poster. Moneymaker vs. Malibu: Now this is what you call a blow off. Zack did a helluva job with this feud. MD vs. Leon: Loved the Hogan bit late in the match, and what a match it was. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we do so little ref bumps that when one happens you know shit’s going down and it did here with PR’s return. MD would get a little measure of revenge before the night was over. Lethal Rumble: Another fun Rumble match from Alf. Job well done. It was only a matter of time before Vinny Valentine and DJ Giant Jesus crossed paths, and DJGJ got the better end of it this time. I thought he was going to get the Diesel push until Mister WARRIOR showed up. It read like an Andre/Warrior confrontation. Unfortunately MW failed to go all the way, getting eliminated shortly thereafter. at Reject eliminating Alf, although he was trying to go 2 for 1 there. Bo winning is cool though. MOTN: The Lethal Rumble as usual. Non-LR match, Jade vs. Melody. The 3 Stooges offense put it over the top. Quote of Show: “It's like two sisters fighting over who gets top bunk at summer camp... not erotic at all, just kinda sad.” -- MC LOL Moment of the Show:

BRANNIGAN I guess it’s true what they say, time sure flies when you’re having fun. And fun I had wrestling on HeldDOWN~! Two moments in particular: the debut of Black T in the spring of 2004. The OAOAST tag titles had recently been vacated and a one night tournament was held to crown new champions. Dan Black and I entered as a mystery team and defeated 3 other tag duos in one night to win our first of three OAOAST tag team championships. Let’s flashback. [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, April 29th 2004]Static looks ready to deliver the flying piledriver- but suddenly his face crumples in pain, and he drops Dan to the mat! Scotty slowly falls forward off the top turnbuckle! COACH Ohmygod! What happened?! Dan, on one knee, grabs the referee’s shirt and draws him down to him, talking rapidly, so that referee does not see Jivin’ Jim Ross enter the ring, holding a lead pipe. COLE Oh no! It was JR! He took out Scotty and the ref couldn’t see a thing! Johnny, look out! Over there! Jackson is checking on the fallen static, and only turns in time to – OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! -take the pipe full in his face! COACH What a screw job! CABOOSE And it’s all just a matter of steps from here… JR slides out of the ring as Dan releases the referee! A recovered T.Bod pulls Static out of the ring and throws him into the guard rail, before jumping back into the ring! T.Bod and Dan picks Johnny up, his face covered in blood. Combined Rock Bottom-Out of Body Experience. The Black Body Bag. CABOOSE 3B! 3B! Dan’s cover. ONE. TWO. THREE. DING DING DING BUFFER The winners of the match….and NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions- Dan Black and T.Bod, BLACK T! Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T.Bod, grinning, does the same.[/quote] BRANNIGAN Great a moment as that was it’d get topped one year later when amidst civil war between Upstarts and Originals I captured the OAOAST Championship in a grueling contest against then-champion Axel, one of the Upstarts leaders. [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, June 9th 2005]Kick to the sternum bends Tony backwards. Axel whips Brannigan to the corner and charges after him, rocking Tony with a clothesline. Exact same spot in the opposite corner. Axel hits the ropes as Tony stumbles out of the corner -- but Dan grabs his leg. Axel pulls Black up on the apron and punches him. Down goes Black. Tony spins Axel around and has his right hand blocked. Inverted atomic drop. Brannigan scuttles around the ring in pain. Axel takes a deep breath and hoists Tony up onto his shoulders for the Axel Slam. Black jumps up on the apron and tries to distract the referee. But Hebner has had enough. He ejects Black, ordering him to go backstage. Black starts going crazy on the apron as Earl continues to tell him to leave. With his attention diverted, CWM jumps out over the barricade and slides into the ring. POLLYCUTTER ON AXEL! The fans gasp as CWM slides out of the ring and hops over the barricade again. Even Black looks shocked. With his eyes wide open, he slowly moves down to the floor, shaking his head slowly. Tony gets up dizzily and sees a prone Axel laying on the mat. He spots CWM running out through the crowd and knows exactly what's going on. He looks out to the fans for a second, then to Black who shrugs his shoulders with a frown on his face. It's almost like Tony doesn't know what to do. Finally, he picks Axel up off the mat and spikes him into the mat with the OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE! The fans gasp as the referee goes to make the count. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * VENTURA (laughing) He did it! A new Heavyweight Champion of the World. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... TONY BRANNIGAN! The crowd roars in shock. Dan Black comes into the ring to celebrate with Tony. Both look a little reluctant, but they're happy nonetheless. Tony is particularly pleased, looking the happiest he has ever been with the title in his grasp. Even a good portion of the fans are cheering. From the crowd, CWM raises his arms up and claps. Meanwhile, DREK STONE, SCOTTY STATIC AND JOHNNY JAX step out onto the top of the ramp. With their arms crossed over their chest, they shake their heads disapprovingly. Tony and Black freeze as they spot these Upstarts staring at them. Axel picks his head up off the mat slowly, sees the three men standing up there, and realizes just what happened. He then drops his head back down to the mat, not believing what has just happened. COLE History has been made. We have a new World Heavyweight Champion. Tony Brannigan is now the OAOAST Champion. The OAOAST is officially under Brannigan's Law. Our final shot of the night sees Tony staring at the title, caressing the "World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion" etched on the belt. He laughs hysterically, then kisses his newly won World Title.[/quote] BRANNIGAN Unfortunately my reign would be short-lived, as I'd drop the title back to the man I won it from a couple of weeks later at the Great Angle Bash. But there you have it, folks. A couple of my favorite HeldDOWN~! moments. History is made with every show and perhaps something you see tonight will make it to air the night we celebrate the 500th episode of HeldDOWN~! Until then, enjoy the rest of the show.

I had read Rude was training for a comeback at the time of his death, but didn't know it was for a hopeful WWF run. Figured it'd be WCW since they always kept pushing older talent, although they'd no doubt screw it up so I can understand his thought process. That and he probably saw the iceberg ahead of WCW. But had Rude lived, his last hurrah likely would’ve been a successful one IMO. The ability to speak was a huge asset to have in the Attitude era, and with the brawling main event style Zack mentioned, it’d make up for what Rude could no longer do in the ring (same view I have of Brian Pillman). His return would also alter wrestling history, perhaps significantly for certain guys, Triple H in particular. I think everybody remembers the huge push HHH got in the summer of ‘99. Although I don’t know when Rude’s WCW contract was set to expire, assuming he was in by summer then he in all likelihood takes HHH's spot during the latter part of the year. Though he probably still goes on to become a superstar, HHH and Stephanie might not have gotten cozy without their storyline and WWE post-Vince could look awfully different than what most think it will today (i.e. HHH and Steph run the show). As for Val Venis, I had the same thought as daileyxplanet. Have Rude put Val out for being an imitator, then once you run through feuds with the top guys (Austin, Rock, etc) then Val could comeback looking for revenge. Rude finishes his career feuding with Venis, Jericho, Benoit, Guerrero, etc, before moving on to the broadcast booth. He could take over Lawler’s spot on Smackdown and maybe even is the one to replace the King instead of Paul Heyman in 2001.

BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following is a second round Anderson Cup bout! “In the Air Tonight” by Non-point hits and the team of CPA and Detective Tango Bosley head to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, representing THE ENTERPRISE, at a total combine weight of 545 pounds, they are Violators, Intimidators and Capital E-fenders... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" V.I.C.E. remove their coats and prepare for battle as “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down is cued. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 485 pounds… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cash and Windels walk down the aisle slapping hands and full of smiles. But it’s all business once they reach the ring, quickly tossing aside their pre-match attire to get this one underway ASAP. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and in a surprise twist, Detective Tango Bosley is the one to offer Tim Cash an opening handshake. Unsure whether to accept, Cash looks to the crowd for advice. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE Remember this is the same guy who sold you down the river, Tim. He’s no friend of yours. COACH Quit being so cynical, Mikey Cole. That’s a pre-January 20, 2009 mindset. Public concerns aside, Cash goes in for the shake…NOT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" His generosity often abused, Cash basks in the glory of being the one to pull a fast one on somebody else, his former partner no less. Bosley isn’t so amused, though, kicking the bottom rope in frustration. COACH And he’s supposed to be wrestling’s last real good guy? COLE Well, you know what they say about doing unto others. COACH Yeah, and we’re about to see Detective Bosley do a number on Tim Cash. Pissed to no end, Bosley slams his black blazer to the ground and demands Cash lockup. They do and Tim eats a knee to the midsection followed by a judo chop to the neck. Whipped across Cash ducks a spin kick and executes a SUNSET FLIP off the middle rope, but struggles to bring the AMOG down. Enter Baron Windels. BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS~!!! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Working in tandem, the Citizen Soldiers dropkick both CPA and Detective Bosley. Cash stays on attack chopping his former partner overhand style. Tango reverses an Irish whip and military presses Cash, who manages to slip free and SCHOOL BOY the brash detective. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Citizen Soldiers tag and Cash sends Bosley on his way once again. Bosley goes under Cash’s leapfrog and runs into a COWBOY BEBOP ELBOW from Baron Windels! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Bosley falls towards his corner and tags CPA. Theodore Moneymaker’s certified personal ass-kicker steps over the ropes and pounds his fist in anticipation of introducing it to the face of the Lone Star Gunslinger. They hook ‘em up and CPA muscles Windels into the corner and forearms him in the midsection, drawing the ire of referee Earl Hebner who sought a clean break. COLE With all due respect to Earl, he was kidding himself thinking CPA would break. The man only likes to break necks and cash checks. Fired to the far corner BW evades a charge and scales the turnbuckles. “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!” he enthusiastically shouts, but CPA waits below with open arms and delivers a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Save by Tim Cash. COACH Cash understood the seriousness of the situation right there, Cole. He realized Baron was in big trouble there. CPA rams Baron into the buckle, then showcases his boxing skills using BW as a human punching bag! Since he apparently didn’t learn his lesson the first time, CPA again shoots Baron to the far corner…and again he moves. This time CPA crashes shoulder-first into the ring post, which leads to a tag by the Citizen Soldiers. Clutching his arm in pain, CPA staggers mid-ring and gets leveled by a MISSLE DROPKICK! Wrestling’s last real good guy quick to cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT, AND WITH AUTHORITY! Cash dares to apply the MIDWEST SLING but CPA’s legs are too big, and he gets knocked silly by a hard right for his trouble. COLE Tim Cash trying to do too much right there. Instead of going for the submission, he should’ve kept employing that quick strike attack that was working so well for him. COACH Nice guys finish last, Cole. CPA just reminded Tim Cash of that. CPA looks to smash Tim’s face with his fist. Fortunately for Cash, he rolls aside to avoid a gruesome fate, but that doesn’t stop CPA for trying again and again. Having escaped harm’s way time after time, Cash finds himself out on the apron. Tim ducks a haymaker and snaps CPA down on the top rope, then flings him across with a head scissors takeover. Off the ropes Cash gets scooped in the air and MILITARY PRESSED ONTO THE ARENA FLOOR!! COACH :lol: COLE Hey, come on! That was totally uncalled for! Detective Bosley goes berserk on the apron taunting Tim Cash, asking him to “GET YOU SOME OF THAT!” Instead the AMOG almost gets himself some of Baron Windels. The Lone Star Gunslinger fast to his partner’s side. But referee Earl Hebner orders him back to the corner. The ref’s attention elsewhere, CPA and Bosley put the boots to Cash. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CPA rolls Tim inside and tags out. Before exiting he and Bosley double clothesline wrestling’s last real good guy. BOSLEY WHO’S THE MAN?! CPA You the man. BOSLEY I’M THE MAN!! AND WHO’S MY BITCH?! CPA (pointing to Tim Cash) He’s your bitch. BOSLEY (paint brushing Cash) YA HEAR THAT? YOU’RE MY BIT-- OH, SHIT! Cash double leg takedown’s Bosley and clamps on the Texas Cloverleaf! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH What the hell? COLE Midwest Sling! Will Bosley submit? Cash breaks the hold when CPA storms in, and nails him with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! Bosley charges forward but Cash ducks and places him in a SLEEPER HOLD! COLE Do Not Resuscitate! Forced to piggyback Bosley because of the height disadvantage, Cash finds himself in a bad predicament when he’s grabbed by the neck and slammed into the mat courtesy of a FRONTFLIP SWINGING NECKBREAKER! COACH Cliché as it is, WHATAMANEUVER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BOSLEY :huh: COLE How Tim Cash kicked out of that I don’t know. COACH Neither does Detective Bosley. As much as I hate to say it, Cash is showing me something here tonight. Stomped in the face, Tim writhes around in agony. Brought to his feet, hands behind back, Cash is smashed into the turnbuckle repeatedly. V.I.C.E. tag and CPA clubs the good guy hard across the shoulders, then fires him into the ropes for a press slam! Cover made. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BARON! Earl Hebner separates CPA and Baron Windels as Tango Bosley drops a series of elbows on Tim Cash in the background. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Order restored, Cash is scooped up for the DOMINATOR, but he slips out and knees CPA in the back to chop him down to size, then delivers the CASHBACK! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Desperation move by Tim Cash, but it worked. COLE And now he needs to make the tag. What punishment he’s taken, and what heart he’s shown. CPA and Cash both look for the tag, with CPA being the first to make it. Once Cash notices this he lunges towards his corner and makes the tag to Baron Windels! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BOSLEY :o Striking virtually everything that moves, the Lone Star Gunslinger unloads on V.I.C.E. He shoots Bosley into the ropes for a BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP, and then dropkicks CPA. But when BW returns to his feet he’s met by a ROUNDHOUSE KICK, which he ducks and follows with the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL!!! ONE! TWO! THREE-- NO! SAVE BY CPA! The two men exchange fire as Detective Bosley regroups in the corner. Baron then gets an assist from his fellow Citizen Soldier Tim Cash. Together they knock CPA outside with a double dropkick, and then BW wipes Tim into the ropes and watches him dive onto the big fella! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Referee Earl Hebner checks on both men from the ring, completely missing Detective Bosley use his TELESCOPIC BATON TO WHACK BARON UPSIDE THE HEAD! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The cover. COLE Damn him, no! ONE! TWO! THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing onto the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals, the team of CPA and DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY… VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" V.I.C.E. raise their hands in victory outside. All Tim Cash can do is check on his partner, the match lost. COLE CPA and Detective Bosley have nothing to be proud of stealing a win. COACH A win’s a win no matter how you spin it. Fact is, the record books will have a W next to the name of V.I.C.E. and a big giant L next to the Citizen Soldiers. It couldn’t happen to a couple of nicer guys! COLE :rolleyes:

Second Round Anderson Cup Match V.I.C.E. vs. Citizen Soldiers

To go on sometime after KC's AC match because it references what happened there. We pan down to the world famous interview stage and OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN We are 3 nights away from Anglepalooza live exclusively on pay-per-view, and two of the men participating in this Sunday’s Lethal Rumble happen to my guests this week. They are the new tag team of BARON WINDELS and wrestling’s last real good guy, TIM CASH! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits and Cash/Windels slap a few hands on their way to the podium. BRANNIGAN Guys, you saw it like the rest of us. Your reaction to the little stunt Theodore Moneymaker pulled here tonight? BARON To be quite honest, I’m stick to my stomach. I know how hard Shayne Brave trained to comeback and to see him and Tyler get jobbed the way they did, after preparing all this time to face the Last Kings of Scotland, it just makes my blood boil. It’d be like the Steelers preparing for the Cardinals in the Super Bowl and then finding out just before kick-off they’ll be playing the Cowboys instead, a team that wasn’t even in the tournament! BRANNIGAN As a couple of Cowboys fans, you and I would love that, but it wouldn’t be fair. BARON Unless you ain’t got no ethics like Theodore Moneymaker. I reckon that cowboy’s still upset I found his money to be no good. By rejecting Enterprise membership I knew it’d put my name right at the top of Moneymaker’s enemies list, but I also gained a ton more of friends because of it. Take the man next to me for example. Before he became a wrestler Tim Cash was just an ordinary citizen doing his part to serve and protect his community as an emergency medical technician. He partnered with a man named Tango Bosley. They formed a friendship and eventually decided to break into the sport of professional wrestling. Like every rookie they hit their fair share of bumps on the road. But when the going got tough, Bosley sold out for instant fame and fortune which reminded me of a former partner. Unlike Tango Bosley and Mr. Dick, Tim Cash and Baron Windels dug in deep and continued to fight like true soldiers! A couple of citizen soldiers you might say, because if we can’t get along then we’ll get it on. Next week these [color="#0000FF"][b]Citizen Soldiers[/b][/color] are gonna march into the second round of the Anderson Cup and get rid of V.I.C.E. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BRANNIGAN As I mentioned in the introduction, you’ll both partake in the Lethal Rumble where it’s every man for himself. It’s quite possible you two might cross paths somewhere during the match. The winner to receive a shot at the OAOAST Champion at AngleMania VIII. CASH All for one and one for all, that’s how we’re approaching the Lethal Rumble. If we have to thrown down hopefully it wouldn’t be until 28 others have already been eliminated! I’ll get a taste of the mayhem this Sunday later tonight in the Inaugural Brawl. Only 6 of us in that one, but since I’m such a swell guy I’ll help throw them over the top! The music cues and the newly dubbed Citizen Soldiers play to the crowd. COLE The Citizen Soldiers are ready for whatever comes their way, Coach. COACH Let’s see how ready they are next week against V.I.C.E.

Baron Windels and Tim Cash interview

If you heard from Patty, then you've heard from me to. He tends to handle that kind of thing for me. Don't know why but I appreciate it. Less work for me! I guess because we've developed a number of characters together he has a good idea as to how I'd like something to go. But in the event he didn't speak for my guys, the BHB, THR, Baron Windels and VICE are available. Or should be. Patty can correct me if I'm wrong.

Really enjoyable show last week. If HD was real there might be a lot of complaints over the lack of actual matches, but the out of the ring stuff was strong. MD vs. BW: Helluva opener. Great Leon Rodez promo. Who’s Nerdly Is It Anyway had me LMAO. Zack once again shows why he’s arguably our best promo writer. It’s a damn good thing the Zero Hour DVD is shot in Technicolor. It’s good to see OAOAST Home Entertainment hasn’t tried to sway its customers into upgrading to Blu-Ray by releasing the DVD version in black and white instead! The Name interrupts LP’s time in the spotlight and we have ourselves an AM match, if Name can make it that is. JR vs. DJ Giant Jesus: Riggs isn’t the only one yet to figure out the Giant. But who wouldn’t love a dancing big name with such a wild name? Give Enterprise VICE a bunch of Emmys. The greatness of POG never ceases to amaze me. at the Melody/Jade spat at McDonalds. Really well done. MOTN: MD vs. BW -- Inspector Nerdly

"Money Talks" by AC/DC hits and the sharpest dressed men in the OAOAST are escorted to the ring by CPA and Detective Tango Bosley, V.I.C.E. BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following is a first round Anderson Cup match! Introducing first, representing THE ENTERPRISE, at a total combine weight of 465 pounds, the #1 ranked team in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a minute! V.I.C.E. has no business out here. They’re nothing but a couple of damn bullies, Theodore Moneymaker’s hired guns! COACH Let’s not forgot Teddy is engaged in a bitter feud with Zack Malibu and nearly was assassinated on live television weeks ago. He needs protection in this dangerous time. Fortunately he’s got the best security money can buy. COLE Yeah, a security firm now headed by Inspector Morgan Nerdly, an amateur P.I. unafraid to trample a person’s constitutional rights! COACH Amateur!? You got a late night visit from V.I.C.E. coming, son. But whether you agree with Inspector Nerdly’s tactics or not, the fact is, her methods work. Forget Leon Panetta, Inspector Nerdly is person you want running the CIA. She’ll have Osama captured her first day on the job. Christian Wright hands CPA his briefcase for safekeeping, then he and Theodore Moneymaker remove their non-wrestling attire (jacket/robe, etc). [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] MONEYMAKER :angry: [I]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you[/I] Paged on scene, Drs. Max and Steven melt the hearts and panties of women by stripping off their lab coats. As they head down the aisle, Pigley stops to writes a prescription for a pretty young thing ringside; a double hug/kiss from the Love Doctors and a Love Line t-shirt right off his back. BUFFER And their opponents! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, total combine weight 435 pounds, the team of DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Met with heavy cheers, the Love Doctors are met by heavy fire when they enter the ring. Wright and Moneymaker quick to jump on them. * DINGDINGDING * COACH I see that sheet of paper in your hand, Cole. You were about to plug Dr. Steven’s Love Line program every Wednesday night at 7 on local Chicago radio. Now you can hype there being a guest host next week! COLE Unfortunately you may be right. The Love Doctors cheap shot before the match officially began. No doubt Theodore Moneymaker’s way of sending a message to Zack Malibu, the man he’ll face in a Survive or Surrender match at Anglepalooza. Wright and Moneymaker pummel the Docs against the ropes, then attempt stereo Irish whips, but the Docs reverse and dropkick the pair on the rebound! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker tumbles outside, but Wright isn’t so lucky. He becomes the focus of the Docs’ attack, a series of arm-wringers followed by top rope axe handle smashes. But a huge European uppercut knocks Dr. Max on his ass and CW proceeds to put the boots to him. COACH Kick ‘im! Kick ‘im like a dog, CW! Wright rams Anderson into the buckle and tags Moneymaker. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Not one to mix business with pleasure, Moneymaker takes a moment to indulge himself and SLAPS Anderson, which only serves as a wakeup call for the good doctor. He fires back and out of the Enterprise corner, striking both Wright and Moneymaker. But the Billion Dollar Heir quells that baby face fire with an EYE RAKE. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Again the Enterprise needing to resort to cheap tactics to gain the advantage. COACH You wanna know what’s cheap? Personal attacks the kind hurled at Teddy and his Enterprise this past weekend on Syndicated by the Love Doctors. Moneymaker shoots Anderson into the ropes for a back elbow, then drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS…BUT NOBODY’S HOME! Theodore pops to his feet clutching his hand, and Dr. Max brings him down in a SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Anderson stomps Moneymaker’s hand, and then wrings the arm as he drags the Billion Dollar Heir over to the Love Doctors corner for the tag. Dr. Steven continues what his colleague started, wringing the arm again and again. Moneymaker answers with a knee to the gut and backs Pigley against the ropes for a combination of chops/punches that sets up an Irish whip. Off the ropes Dr. Steven ducks a clothesline and snaps Theodore over in a CRUCIFIX BOMB~!!! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! The Docs tag and Max Anderson unloads SPINNING BACKFISTS on Theodore Moneymaker. Following a backdrop Dr. Max clotheslines Theodore over the top and shoots off the ropes, flipping onto Moneymaker outside! COLE Topé Con Hílo! Vintage Max Anderson. COACH The Love Doctors emptying out the medicine cabinet, Cole. They know it’s gonna take everything they got to beat Teddy and CW. Which now that I think about, they’d have gained the most in Teddy being assassinated. It would’ve meant a first round bye. COLE You’re starting to sound like Inspector Nerdly. I bet you’re both Oliver Stone fans. COACH Who isn’t? Christian Wright goes to assist Teddy but gets cut off by Dr. Steven. Meanwhile, as the referee’s focused on the brawl, DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY whips out his TELESCOPIC BATON and CLUBS the knee of Dr. Max Anderson! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE DAMN HIM!! COACH We know what’s running through the mind of Dr. Max, don’t we, Cole? Why? Why? Hahaha! COLE :stupid: Moneymaker rolls Anderson back in and tags CW. Wright quick to attack the knee, smashing it repeatedly against the ring post. Anderson crawls towards mid-ring grimacing in pain, his arm outstretched for a much needed tag, but Wright nails Dr. Steven. DR. STEVEN :firedevil: Wright and Moneymaker do a number of Anderson while an irate Pigley is restrained by the referee. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER :lol: By the time the official turns around Moneymaker is back on the apron chilling. The action resumes with CW delivering a knee crusher ala Ric Flair, then locks on THE WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF! The pain is too much for Dr. Max to withstand and he TAPS. DR. STEVEN :huh: * DINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Damnit! The Enterprise steal one thanks to Tango Bosley. Pigley can’t believe how fast Anderson submitted, but that’s because he never saw Bosley whack him with the baton. He tends to his partner as Moneymaker taunts them. The rage builds in Pigley and he goes after the Billion Dollar Heir! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH This guy must have a death wish. You don’t mess with Moneymaker. A lesson V.I.C.E. helps Dr. Steven learn the hard way. Bosley again using his baton to lay down the law. The damage done Moneymaker laughs his ass off over the fallen doctors. COLE Given his current state of mind Theodore Moneymaker is one dangerous man. It’s gonna make for one heck of a match with Zack Malibu at Anglepalooza.

First Round Anderson Cup Match, MWC Conference The Love Doctors vs. Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright

Shocking opening. A real blast from the past, leading to the signing of a big match for later in the show. You either gotta be nuts, have a big set of balls, or the champ to talk to your boss the way Leon did. He must be all 3. CAE vs. MGHWC: Good shit. at the CAE using the No Homo strategy guide to scout the MGHWC. : ( at the breakup of the MGHWC. HUGE match announced for HD 300. Interesting segment w/Landon and Cortez. More Duncan girls fun. James Riggs vs. DJ Giant Jesus: Love the new guy, from the name to being a dancing 7 footer. Dungeon match at AP? That should be something. And party hats are funny. The OAOAST360 ad is the greatest commercial ever! The Name vs. LP: Entertaining little match. Action packed. Team Heyross vs. PATD: To say PATD were underdogs in this match would be an understatement, but they put up a valiant effort. Reject and TK can’t be too happy though. Amazing segment w/VICE & Inspector Nerdly. VICE/SR vs. BW/Tim Cash/Leon Rodez: Kick ass match, followed by another hugh announcement. CWM vs. Zack Malibu: Helluva ME to end a great show, with yet two more huge match announcements. MOTN: VICE/SR vs. BW/Tim Cash/Leon Rodez Quote: “I'm gonna get me one'a them there action figures with the tiny championship belts in the packaging and I'll use the damn thing as a cock ring! How 'bout that!” -- Mr. Dick

[b][color="#FF0000"]NEW YEAR'S[/color] [color="#0000FF"]SPECTACULAR[/color] [color="#FF0000"]'09[/color] [color="#FF8C00"]One Week Ago[/color][/b] [quote]Abdullah pulls the referee outside, and then he gets yanked onto the apron for a face to face with Ned. The Colonel does his best lawyer’s plea to no avail. Ned prepared to wish him a Happy New Year in his own special way, until he hears footsteps and moves aside. A head-on collision with Abdullah a certainty, divine intervention sets in and Synth is able to put on the brakes. Disaster averted the two men share a hug and kiss on both cheeks. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned interrupts and it’s… …KICK, WHAM, SLINGSHOT SU… NO! SAB floats over and holds Ned in place for the Colonel. COLE What’s going on here? Abdullah opens a small bag and THROWS POWDER INTO THE EYES OF SYNTH! COACH Oh, no! COLE Ned ducked! Blanchard grabs the CLAPBOARD in the BHB corner and WALLOPS Synth, which goes unnoticed by the official who also got hit with some of the powder, rendering him blind momentarily! COACH Wait a minute. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING *[/quote] COLE And welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the longest-running episodic series in TSM history. COACH Crushing the previous mark held by Cole’s Bar, which was what, 3? COLE Well at least I had a show. Anyway, vintage Beverly Hills Blonds last week in their first round Anderson Cup victory, but people are still talking about their proposal to Theodore Moneymaker, including the Billion Dollar Heir himself who had this to say on the live OAOAST Afterparty webcast following the New Year’s Spectacular. [color="#FF8C00"][b]Courtesy: OAOAST.com[/b][/color] Dressed to the nines, Theodore Moneymaker, drink in hand, joins Tony Brannigan and Terry Taylor on the AP lounge set, all 3 seated on stools. Also present, Moneymaker’s Enterprise partners, with right hand man Christian Wright at the Billion Dollar Heir’s side. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA! As if my night couldn’t possibly get any better. First I beat Zack Malibu clean right in the middle of the ring, and then those blond knuckleheads Simon and Ned drop all legal claim to the BHB name! WRIGHT 3 cheers for Teddy. Hip hip… THE ENTERPRISE Hooray! WRIGHT Hip hip… THE ENTERPRISE Hooray! WRIGHT Hip hip… THE ENTERPRISE Hooray! MONEYMAKER :lol: BRANNIGAN Don’t go popping the cork yet, Teddy. Not only have you not heard the last of Zack Malibu, especially after how you stole one tonight, but you and Christian Wright must still defeat the Beverly Hills Blonds somewhere along the line before the Enterprise can claim 100% ownership of the BHB name. However, should they beat you, then you must return the Siclopse. WRIGHT Please, Mr. Brannigan, don’t make me laugh. Victory for us is a foregone conclusion. But at least you realize there’s little chance of a Moneymaker/Wright-Singleton/Blanchard Anderson Cup final because I think our former associates have find it quite difficult. BRANNIGAN/TAYLOR :huh: MONEYMAKER Normally I’d let my attorneys handle such a matter, but this is like stealing candy from a baby…or millions from gullible investors! BWAHAHA! End video.

There was a spot left for it, with the graphic of the match. You might have missed it because Patty's Morgan Nerdly segment is also in that same spot. Speaking of your match... Zack vs. Moneymaker: You’ve heard of big game pitchers/quarterbacks. Zack’s our big game writer. Screw intros, everybody hates them anyway (except for Patty maybe), this match kicked ass. Special thanks to Patty and KC for contributing to the opening. If only I had thought of it sooner so guys would’ve had more time to write something up. Cortez vs. Alf: Alf’s been in some wild matches in the past, but this was strictly a wrestling match and a helluva one at that, ending with the crowing of a new U.S. champion. Loved the tilt-a-whirl escape into a tombstone spot. The Name looks promising. Enjoyed the segment with him and Phoenix getting into it. Tyler vs. MD: at all the meaningless stats thrown out by Cole and ESPN for being a joke. Good showing for Tyler, but he ultimately wasn’t man enough to handle The Dick. Vintage COD in their promo. NY Knockout: Great commentary (especially the stuff on Maggie) to go along with a great match. I second what Patty said. Our women’s division would kick ass based on their personalities alone. Nice little promo by Leon follows. DILDO ON A POLE: Years in the making, the dream became a reality New Year’s night. And with how crazy it was you might have thought it was a dream! Brave to Patty. Just when you think he can’t possibly top himself, he goes out and writes a masterpiece. Loved the bits where Cole describes the many uses of the dildo and how it’s a veteran of many TV shows. An Angle Award may be in this match’s future. We had one dream become a reality this night, and it appears another may be on the way with Jade and Bo. 6 man tag titles: Wild ending to this one. Like Patty I also like the pairing of Brock/TH. Another Nerdly girl on the show! Patty knows what I think about that. Love the idea behind it. MOTN: I couldn’t pick just one so Alf vs. Cortez, NY Knockout, Dildo on a Pole and Zack/Moneymaker. Quote: Honorable mention to Krista’s rant on the DA/MD.

OK by me. Assuming SP hasn't sent you his segment already, I'll PM it to you.

I'm handling the show this week.

Yeah, HD is gonna be delayed this week, maybe until Saturday or Sunday depending on circumstances.

DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY Alfdogg King Cucaracha Tony149 Luke Skywalker for President Patty O'Green SSP OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault © 2009 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved.

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The show opens with a few of the OAOAST Superstars sharing their New Year's resolutions. BIFF ATLAS My New Year's Resolution... to make it to see 2010. *crosses fingers and prays* ------ MARV My New Years Resolution...man, its to party my ass off, score as many hot chicks as I can, and get the tag titles back over shoulder of my and my brother from the same mother. MEL MEL YEAH! ------ UNO The only News Years Resolution Dos and I have made is what our night mother has given us; to spread the black hand's cancer through the OAOAST, and to bring a crippling death blow of hatred, misery and suffering to anyone who doesn't give their undivided loyalty to our queen of the damned. ------ JADE My New Year's Resolution... uhm... well, it's... I hadn't really though about it, actually... sorry... uhhh... give... give me a minute and I'll try and think of one... ------ THEODORE MONEYMAKER When you're a man who has everything you don't need a New Year's resolution. BWAHAHA! ------ SIMON We don't have everything, but Theodore Moneymaker has something we want. NED His head on a silver platter. That's our New Year's resolution. SIMON Violent as it is. ------ JADE ...hmm... ooh, I don't know... well, there's to lose some wei... no, wait, Mom wouldn't like me saying that... hold on, I'll... New Year's Resolution, New Year's Resolution... hehe, sorry about this, improv isn't really my thing... ------ BLONDE My New Year's Resolution is to set ALL the trends that matter this year. That and make Landon proud, of course! Go Internacional! ------ SPENCER REIGER Do you know what my New Year's Resolution is? To take a gigantic wad of spit and hurl right at the camera *SPIT* Mission accomplished. Who says no one ever keeps their resolutions? ------ TIM CASH The New Years Resolution I've made is a promise to our great fans to continue fighting to bring back honor, sportsmanship, integrity and class to the OAOAST. Times may seem tough and the outlook may be bleak around here. But you can count on me to always work for the side of good! ------ JADE Uhhh... well, I guess... to have more fun? Is that okay? ------ MR. DICK My New Year's resolution is the same as it is every year -- to be the biggest dick that there is. MALAYSIA (staring at MD's crotch) Mmm, and it is big. ------ MARIACHI Our New Year’s resolution is to be gayer! MORACCA And by gayer we mean happier. MARIACHI/MORACCA ------ LEON Well, it's pretty simple. Some people give up drink, some people give up cigarettes. Me? Nerdlys! Leon slaps a nicotine patch on his arm with the word 'NERDLY' written on it. LEON I used to be a 40 a day man you know. ROLL VT! NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR '09 An instrumental version of "Auld Lang Syne" plays as we head inside the Palace of Auburn Hills where 20,000+ OAOAST Marks have converged this New Year's night. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" OAOAST LIVE! Detroit, Michigan Over at Sofa Central, Coach sports a suit and tie while Michael Cole is in full tuxedo and wearing a party hat. COLE 83 days away from AngleMania VIII and 24 till Anglepalooza, the OAOAST welcomes you to its first event of the new year. And on behalf of everyone here in the OAOAST, Happy New Year! Michael Cole and Da Coach with you for our 3nd annual New Year's Spectacular, where 4 titles are on the line tonight. COACH We've got Alfdogg defending the U.S. title against Todd Cortez, the Women's belt up for grabs in an 8 person gauntlet match, Team Heyross and Brock Ausstin challenging Cucaracha Internacional for the 6-man gold, and then Leon Rodez's first televised title defense. This is in addition to 2 first round Anderson Cup bouts and the one I'd really looking forward to, the Dildo on a Pole -- yes, you heard me right -- match between Krista Isadora Duncan and Malaysia. Unzip your pants for that! COLE Enough talk, it's time for action!

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Ghosts" by Ladytron hits and Jereme simply walks out. Hey, I'm just going by what I'm given. BUFFER From Marseille, France... weighing one hundred, ninety pounds... he is the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION... JJJJJEEEEERRRRREEEEMMMMMMMEEEEEEE... GGRRRRRREEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Jereme Grey, the Intercontinental Champion, not getting a great reaction from the crowd. COACH Let's be honest now, nobody's here to see Jereme Grey. This is all about Leon. I mean, it's been built up as 'Leon Rodez vs. Opponent', they could have thrown out some homeless hobo off the streets and he'd have got the same reaction. And stood the same chance of winning. As if to prove the point, all eyes are focused on the entrance way, an excitement building over the dramatic pause. Before a BOOMING reaction echoes through the arena as the drums kick in on "Rock The Casbah". The Detroit crowd positively erupting as Leon Rodez spins through the entrance way with a beaming smile on his face. Shooting a finger to the sky, Rodez undoes his robe to reveal the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship that lies beneath, then begins to jig his way on down the aisle, tagging hands with his left. BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen introducing his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, he is your OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE HOLY CRAPOLA, WHAT A REACTION!! Leon makes his way around the entire ring on his hand-slapping journey, eager not to miss out any of his fans, at least the ones who bought tickets in the first two or three rows. Once he's done his full lap Leon jumps to the ring apron and soaks in the atmosphere for a moment before entering the ring. COLE What must Leon Rodez be feeling right now, to have this sold out crowd in his hometown going wild, returning as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? COACH Dude, he's not even from Detroit. He's from Grand Rapids. COLE Well... uh... it's close enough. As the title is shown to the crowd by the referee, Leon disrobes which is apparantly a much more interesting sight to the females in the crowd. Blushing at the loud shriek that goes up Leon teases the crowd by putting the robe back on, only to slip it off seconds later to another howl. *DINGDINGDING!* "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The smiling World Champion waves to acknowledge the crowd, before it's time to get down to business. He and Jereme size each other up and then lock up. A quick side headlock is scored by the challenger, but Leon quickly throws him off the ropes. Jereme hits a shoulder tackle, but Leon pops right back up as he carries off the ropes again and counters with a hiptoss! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Boy this crowd are fired up. Detroit hasn't had much to cheer in the past 6 months, I've got a feeling they're going to make the most of every opportunity tonight. Jereme lays on the mat for a few seconds before surprising everybody with a kip-up. Leon just looks at him like "are you for real?" and sweeps his legs out to knock him back down. COLE Jereme's not going to show Leon up tonight. Stomping back to his feet Jereme starts to complain about the mis-treatment, so Leon calmly listens to what he has to say, before sweeping out his legs again. Jereme is mad and gets caught with a side headlock takeover. 1... 2... Shoulder up. Leon pushes him back down... 1... 2... Other shoulder up. Letting go of the headlock Leon locks up the knuckles instead, forcing both shoulders onto the mat... 1... 2... BRIDGE! Some of the crowd are impressed, but Leon evidently isn't. He sweeps away the legs again and drops an elbow making Jereme's show of strength null and void. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" As the crowd break out into another chorus of approval for their favourite son, Grey gets back to his feet. Again he marches forward, but again he pays for it... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...this time with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COACH I wonder if Jereme brought his white flag. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COACH You know, cause he's French? *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COLE Yeah, I got it. An irish whip sends Jereme to the ropes, Leon swinging and missing with a back elbow. He reacts quickly though, catching Jereme off the far side with an Overhead Suplex! Cover... 1... 2... No! Leon swings with his elbow again but Jereme ducks underneath and takes hold of the other arm, using it to whip the World Champion to the ropes. His subsequent charge is met with a knee to the face though. Running out of the corner Leon brushes past the challenger and tumbles forward, delivering the Shack Attack!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cover again... 1... 2... No! Pulled back up, Jereme is measured... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chopped again. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and again. LEON C'MON BABY! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" As Leon stops to fire the crowd though, it gives Grey an opening to RAKE THE EYES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE This partisan crowd in Detroit booing Jereme Grey which I'm sure he's not used to. COACH He should be used to it if he's French. Nobody likes the French. COLE Touché. COACH Hey, don't be comin' with no French shit with me pard'ner! Jereme clubs Leon with a couple of forearms after the cheap reversal of fortune, then steps behind and looks to execute a German suplex. He tries once, twice, three times, all to no avail. A quick switch suddenly puts Leon in danger of a snap suplex instead. But Leon pulls Jereme down with a small package... 1... 2... No! Rushing back to his feet Jereme blindsights Rodez with a boot to the back of the head. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The World Champion looks to draw off the crowd as Jereme drives the point of his elbow across the neck a couple of times. Picking Leon up, Grey then slams the elbow into the jaw. And again. Off the ropes comes Jereme, looking for momentum behind a clothesline. Ducked by Leon! Coming to a stop, Jereme turns around and eats a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Jereme in the back of the head with the enziguri! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Momentum carries Jereme to his feet, but a drop toehold puts Grey throat first across the middle rope. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then delights the Detroit crowd with a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of the challenger! COLE And Call That Bitch Bojangles! With Jereme on dream street, Leon hoists him onto his back and jacks his jaw with the backpack stunner! COLE BANANA HAMMOCK! Boy, we're seeing all the old favourites tonight! Leon makes the pin... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh boy, Jereme was saved by ring positioning right there, no way he was kicking out. In an attempt to buy some time Jereme rolls underneath the bottom rope. Leon won't allow that to happen and grabs onto Jereme's ankle, but the Frenchman kicks him off and retreats to the outside. Make your own jokes at this point. The World Champ looks a little frustrated at this, with victory so close at hand and he reaches to try and pull Jereme back inside... but gets caught with a surprise ace crusher, hanging his throat across the middle rope! COLE Ooh! Leon got caught! Jereme motions to the crowd, forgetting they hate him. He then springboards to the top and soars in... right down across Leon's knee with an inverted atomic drop! COLE OOH LA LA~! With Jereme hurting, Leon rolls him up... 1... 2... NO! Back up, Leon watches Jereme getting to his feet. COLE Uh-oh. What could Leon have in mind here? COACH I dunno but I'm sure these idiots'll cheer it, whatever it is. Haven't shut up all damn match. As Jereme turns around Leon trips him and goes for the Liontamer! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Told ya. COLE Leon looking for the submission, can he get it? With Jereme's legs hooked Leon tries to turn him but the Frenchman manages to struggle against it. Leon tries to turn him the other way, but again Jereme is able to block it somehow. Kicking and squirming, Jereme is able to stop Leon from getting a good hold on him. And eventually he manages to get his legs free and apply the TRIPOD!! COACH He's trying to teabag him! COLE No, that's the Triangle Choke Coach. COACH Oh. Man, MMA is so Ghey. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd fear for Leon as he's locked in the choke... ...but just as quickly, he's out of the choke, breaking apart the legs and LOCKING IN THE LIONTAMER!!!! COLE HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN! Jereme struggles for a second, before giving in! *TAPTAPTAPTAP* *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE DETROIT, WUT!? To a massive response from the crowd Leon throws Jereme's legs aside and raises his arms in a triumphant homecoming victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Leon takes his World Title belt from the referee and amidst a sea of flashbulbs he hoists it over his head, smiling from ear to ear. COLE Leon Rodez returns to Detroit a World Champion and he leaves Detroit a World Champion! General Motors... Kid Rock... The Supremes... Tom Selleck... this one was for you! Leon's celebrations continue as the closing credits roll. FADE OUT.

Backstage in the lavishly decorated Enterprise dressing room (I feel sorry for the dude who has to redecorate a new room every week!) Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo are in the middle of a conversation with an unseen third party. WRIGHT I dare not place fate within the hands of untested carriers. And yet my choices are limited. The enforcement of the law is a thing rarely done inside the OAOAST, and if done it is rarely done well. To turn to you though… LORELEI What we’re saying is that when it comes to investigations the OAOAST is hell. Its Escape From New York Hell. Its Mad Max hell. There’s no law and no order. Few people want to see the right criminals brought to justice. WRIGHT It is why men such as Bohemoth are given free domain upon gentle sprits such as I. Why creatures of filth are emboldened to brandish weapons against angels of piety. It extracts tears from even the most brutish of knave. LORELEI For that reason, its takes a person with the strength of Herclues and skin thicker than iron to handle these lawless maniacs. You seem nice. But that’s the problem. You can’t be nice with these people. Ever. Plus, well, we know your family. I know them very well and I don’t like them. At all. I hate them in fact. That gives me pause on hiring you. But, Mister Moneymaker said to hire the best. And supposedly that’s you, Morgan Nerdly. The camera swings around to reveal Morgan Nerdly. LORELEI It still befuddles me how a Nerdly can be the best at anything, besides being an obnoxious nusicance. MORGAN What my sisters and brothers do, has nothing to do with me. If you’ve got a problem with them then well, its with them. Even if you can’t separate me from the others you need me. LORELEI We do? Why is that? MORGAN Because I am one heck of a private investigator. So if you really wanna know who tried to blow up Mister Moneymaker’s limo and who stole his award, then I’m your girl. Nerdly or not. WRIGHT It is a day fraught with regret and lament that the right and just have not heard a call to arms when my good leige’s vehicle was destroyed. Instead the baboons amongst us continued their tiresome prattling and shenanigans while a symbol of strength toiled in flames. How now have these fiends thieved away a man’s rightful recognition of excellence! They are fools who know not what they do! Even still ignorance of the law is no excuse and punisheded they must be. MORGAN If you mean any of what you say, you’ll put me on the job. LORELEI You’ve got some attitude about you. That’s a good thing, because the morons here are going to give you plenty of it. MORGAN I have…ways of dealing with people with attitude. LORELEI In that case, welcome to Enterprise Inspector Nerdly. Malibu immediately goes after Moneymaker, but Moneymaker spins the ref around and shoves him towards Zack, telling him to keep him back as the bell hasn't rung yet. Charles Robinson obliges and tries to do his job by keeping the opponents apart until the bell sounds...but Moneymaker leans over his shoulder and slaps Malibu across the face, further drawing his ire! Malibu shoves Robinson aside and goes after Moneymaker, but the wily one ducks out of the ring and yanks Alison in front of him, using her as a human shield to protect himself from the prep's wrath! Malibu looks to head out of the ring, but Robinson pulls him back and asks him to stay in the ring, then calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! COLE Here we go, Coach. This one has a lot of history behind it, and it was a long time coming, but here it is. Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker, finally one on one in the ring together! COACH It took a damn bribe to get here! That Malibu is a shady character, Mikey Cole, with all his backdoor dealings. COLE Backdoor dealings? Coach he handed Josie the money on an episode of HeldDOWN~! broadcast worldwide! Moneymaker comes up the steps slowly, smiling at Malibu in true villanous fashion. Zack is not impressed, however, and as Moneymaker steps through the ropes, Zack comes over and grabs him, bringing him into the ring and rocking him with a flurry of forearm shots! Moneymaker gets sent to the ropes, then sent high up in the air with a back bodydrop that shakes the ring when he lands! As the soreness encompasses his body, Moneymaker gets up, only to be blasted with one of Malibu's trademark leaping lariats! Zack goes to bring ol' Teddy back to his feet, but Moneymaker rolls away as quickly as he can, again escaping to the comforts of ringside! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Moneymaker scolds the fans, then turns to see Zack ducking out of the ring after him! Moneymaker begs off, backing up around ringside before rolling back into the ring. Zack follows, and Moneymaker rushes him, looking to deliver a cheapshot of some sort...but Zack slides into the ring and immediately tackles him at the legs! Zack moves into a mount and starts delivering hard elbows as Moneymaker desperately tries to cover up, but he's not doing that good of a job! Zack brings him up and runs him to the corner, then smashes him face first into the top buckle! He then sets Moneymaker up in the corner and climbs up onto the middle rope, delivering punch after punch with fury...until Moneymaker carries him off and delivers an inverted atomic drop! Zack reels from it, then gets hit with a clothesline, and Moneymaker starts putting the boots to the downed Malibu, stomping him as he lay on the canvas! He pulls Malibu up and fires him off into the ropes, but when Moneymaker drops his head, Zack responds by countering with a seated dropkick to the crown of his skull! Moneymaker rolls around on the canvas holding his head, and when he comes up he's sent back to the floor, this time courtesy of Malibu as he nails his foe with a lariat that splatters him at ringside! COLE Well, Moneymaker is quite fond of being out of the ring, so Zack did him a favor there! COACH Real clever, Mikey Cole. Alison heads over to check on Moneymaker, while Malibu runs the ropes and comes at him with a baseball slide...but Alison yanks on Teddy's arm and pulls him out of harm's way! The crowd boos loudly as Alison stands in front of Moneymaker and scolds Zack, telling him to get back, then turns to Moneymaker and encourages him to "end him once and for all!" She moves away from Moneymaker, but as soon as she does Zack comes FLYING with the Apron Run Diving Clothesline, and then once again uses a mount and hammers on Moneymaker! He pulls him up and sends him crashing into the ringside barrier, but when Zack charges in, Moneymaker drives a boot into his face! Zack staggers, and Moneymaker scoops his legs out from under him and drives his boot into Zack's lower region, then walks with a swagger in his step as he takes a few deep breaths, happy about his dirty deed. COLE Zack just got the wind knocked out of him there! Teddy pulls Zack up, but Malibu comes back with chops, laying them into Moneymaker's chest until he gets taken by the head and slammed into the ring apron! Moneymaker then leans Zack against the apron and hits a series of his own chops, until Malibu fires back again, this time with right hands! Moneymaker gets dazed, and Zack tosses him back into the ring. He sets up for a springboard, but as he leaps up, Moneymaker comes up and shoves him back down! Zack lands on both feet, on the apron, but Moneymaker snares his head and brings him over the ropes with a suplex...but Zack slips out and lands behind him! He tries for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but Moneymaker dodges it, slipping out and then hooking Zack's arm in an attempt to apply the BANK VAULT~! Zack squirms and reaches back, bringing Moneymaker down with a jawbreaker to stop that! He takes Moneymaker and brings him to the corner, ramming his head into the top turnbuckle numerous times before bringing him out of the corner, only to whip him to the far side! Zack races across the ring and leaps up, delivering a crushing corner splash to his foe! Moneymaker then gets hoisted up onto the top rope, but as Malibu follows up, Moneymaker shoves him off! Zack catches himself and lands on his feet, but Moneymaker connects with a double axehandle off the ropes, taking Zack off his game while he collapses to his knees, needing a moment's rest! He brings Zack up and traps him in a side headlock, and wrenches the head, then drives a fist into the crown of Zack's head! Zack backs away, and Moneymaker grabs him in a headlock again, using the same tactic to stun the popular prep. Zack stumbles back against the ropes, and he's brought up to his feet and sent racing across the ring, caught for a sideslam but floats over into a Russian legsweep on Moneymaker! Zack drapes himself across Teddy after catching him off guard, and waits to hear the ref's hand hit the canvas! ONE! T-KICKOUT! A shoulder comes up quite easily for Moneymaker, but now it's Zack who looks to control the tempo of the contest. Zack brings Moneymaker up and delivers a kick, but his leg gets caught by Moneymaker! Quickly, Malibu connects with an enzugiri, and the big-mouthed billionaire flops to the canvas facefirst, then rolls out of the ring to avoid any further harm! COLE Zack's turning the tide on this one, and there, yet again, Theodore Moneymaker scurries away from confrontation! COACH The man is PACING HIMSELF, Mikey Cole. Ain't no need for him to go all kamikaze. Battles take place in the mind, not just the ring! COLE Well, that was...profound, Coach. Alison looks Moneymaker over, and the fans boo his avoidance of Zack, causing him to grow angrier. Holding his head, he walks around ringside, going so far as to whack a beer out of a man's hand. He has words with the fan, but the referee comes darting out of the ring to prevent any harm from coming to the ticket buyer. COLE Here we go with the fighting fans again! Moneymaker turns away from the ruckus, and that's when Zack LAUNCHES himself through the ropes, crashing into Moneymaker with a beautiful tope! He climbs on Moneymaker and brings the fury~!, leveling him with punch after punch before bringing him up to his feet and ordering the fan to pick up the remainder of the beer...AND THROW IT IN MONEYMAKER'S FACE~! COACH That shit ain't cool! The fans roar at the act, a small piece of payback for Moneymaker's constant attempts to brainwash them against Malibu, and certainly for attacking the fan last week. Moneymaker staggers around ringside, wiping his face off in the referee's shirt, which draws a "what the hell!!?" reaction from Charles Robinson! Moneymaker then turns around and gets rocked with another right hand, then whipped into the guardrail! He crashes in, and Malibu winds himself up, then charges him...only for Moneymaker to move! Zack crashes into the railing, and then Moneymaker rams him headfirst into the steel steps out of desperation! COLE I have a feeling this is going to get ugly! Robinson comes over and orders Moneymaker back into the ring, but Alison comes over and tries to get at Zack, drawing his attention away from Moneymaker! The blonde haired referee becomes preoccupied with Alison, and that's exactly what was wanted, because Moneymaker now picks up the steps and rams them into Zack's head, dropping him back down to the cold ringside floor! COLE He just coldcocked Zack with the ring steps! Moneymaker throws the steps down, looking down as the blood starts to seep out of Zack's forehead and cover his face. Robinson turns away from Alison and looks down at Zack, then notices the steps out of place. He asks Moneymaker what he did, but Moneymaker doesn't answer, cold shouldering the referee as he picks Malibu up. Moneymaker holds Zack at bay, displaying him to the fans, asking if this was their hero, right before running him over to the steps and smashing Zack's head into it again! The pain pounds through Zack's skull as he lay hunched over the stairs...and then Moneymaker takes it one step further by raking Zack's head across the rigid steel! A puddle of red has formed on the metal as Zack is pulled away again, and Robinson has seen enough, ordering Moneymaker to get back in the ring. Leaving Zack to suffer on the outside, Moneymaker climbs back into the ring and taunts the crowd, causing them to collectively jeer him as their hero tries to bounce back. COLE Theodore Moneymaker is loving this! COACH And why shouldn't he, Mikey Cole? Zack's a hater, plain and simple, and now he's finding out the hard way that the fight that he wanted isn't gonna go in his favor! Zack struggles, but grabs the ropes and starts to pull himself up onto the apron, but a baseball slide by Moneymaker sends him staggering back into the railing! Moneymaker goes to exit the ring again, but Patrick has had enough, and keeps him back. This is the perfect opening for Alison to rush over and get physical, as she takes Zack and uses the guardrail to try to choke him out, as she forces his throat down on it! COLE Come on now! Alison acts quickly, then moves away, avoiding the referee and keeping him out of the loop as far as what she's doing. Zack falls to the floor, clutching his throat and coughing as he tries to breathe normally. Moneymaker comes to the ropes again, and this time pushes Patrick aside, then goes and seizes Zack from the floor, bringing him back into the ring. An elbowdrop connects to the back of Malibu's neck and keeps him on the mat. Moneymaker then seats himself on Zack's back and wrenches his head back, using a camel clutch to crank his neck back as the blood drips down his face, forming a crimson mask! Robinson checks in on Zack, but he is able to mutter the word "no" when asked if he plans on quitting. Moneymaker pulls back on Zack's head, forcing more pressure on his neck, as Alison looks through the ropes, telling Zack to "just give it up". Malibu won't surrender, so Moneymaker hits a seated splash to his lower back, then uses a camel clutch again, trapping the wounded superstar in a precarious position! Charles Robinson keeps his eye on the situation, while the fans begin their rally, hoping to motivate the former World Champion. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Moneymaker continues to use the clutch, but then breaks it on his own accord, and drops another elbow across the back of Zack's neck. He plants a knee in the base of Zack's spine, then uses a chinlock to wrench Zack's head back again. Malibu tries to crawl out from the hold, and is slowly able to power up...but Moneymaker turns it into a headlock takeover, bringing Malibu back down to the canvas, but Zack uses a leg scissors to pull Moneymaker off of him! Moneymaker hurries to get up after the quick counter, and grabs Malibu for a neckbreaker...but as he twists him around, Zack hooks his arms and brings him down to the canvas with a backslide! ONE! TWO! NO! The fans applaud, proud to see Zack with enough fight left in him to put Moneymaker thisclose from defeat. Zack starts to come to, but Moneymaker grabs him, only to be fired into the ropes and sent airborne with a huge back bodydrop! Zack falls against the ropes, trying to regain his senses long enough to mount a comeback against his rival. Moneymaker comes up, and Zack rushes up behind him, hooking the waist...but Moneymaker counters and moves behind him, using a German suplex, but continuing to roll to his feet, pulling Zack up for a second one...AND COMPLETELY MOCKING ZACK BY USING HIS OWN TRADEMARK AGAINST HIM! COACH HA~! COLE What a cocky bastard. The crowd boos loudly as they come up to their feet, but Zack keeps himself grounded and fires back a pair of elbows, then snapmares Moneymaker over, stopping his mockery. A series of hard soccer kicks to Moneymaker's back follows, turning it as red as a rose, and then Zack pulls him up and uses the chain of suplexes on him, starting with one German and following up with two more, as the crowd roars! Slowly, Malibu rolls them up to a standing position for a fourth suplex, but Moneymaker struggles, then kicks a leg back, giving Zack a low blow! He then turns and hits a quick DDT and covers, hooking the leg as to not take any chances with the man known to be extremely resilient. ONE! TWO! NO! The resiliency shines through in spades, as the bloody Malibu forces his shoulders up, not to be defeated by the man seeking control of the OAOAST. Moneymaker pulls Zack up, but Zack grabs a waistlock and quickly carries him over with a Northern Lights suplex, surprising the fans with this attempt at victory! ONE! TWO! NO! Moneymaker kicks out, and as he and Zack get up, he doubles Zack over with a knee, then whips him hard into the corner! Moneymaker charges in, but Malibu kicks a leg up, smashing Moneymaker's cheek in with the bottom of his boot! The hated superstar staggers back, while Zack climbs the ropes, executing a picture perfect moonsault bodyblock that wipes his opponent out! Both men lay on the canvas, mentally and physically exhausted, as Charles Robinson looks on. COLE Great high-risk move by Zack that paid off, and now it's coming down to whichever man can make it to his feet! The crowd begins to rally, and Malibu himself starts to pound on the canvas with both hands, leading the rally before pushing himself up to his knees to a big pop! Bloody, but not beaten, Zack brings Moneymaker up and strikes him with a chop across the chest, and another, and a third backs him into the corner! He goes up onto the middle rope and starts hammering Teddy with punches, only to be shoved off...which Malibu responds to by rocking him with a European uppercut! The dazed businessman staggers against the ropes, then finds himself sent across the ring, crashing into the opposite corner...then has both of Zack's knees driven into his chest, as Malibu runs full throttle across the ring and delives a ZACK ATTACK II to Moneymaker! Moneymaker staggers, and Zack follows up with a high knee in the corner, then lifts Moneymaker up onto the ropes. Zack follows him up, and brings Moneymaker onto his shoulders, leaping from the ropes down into the ring, rolling his body so that he delivers a crushing HONOR ROLL~! to his rival! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! KICKOUT BY MONEYMAKER! COLE SO close! That fire is raging inside Zack Malibu, and Moneymaker is taking the brunt of it right now! Again looking to stay on top of things, Zack brings Moneymaker up, then hoists him up for an ANGLE SLAM~!, but Moneymaker slides out of it, then shoves Zack forward...and he bonks heads with Robinson, then stumbles back and bangs heads with Moneymaker! All three men fall to the canvas holding their heads in agony, and now this grudge match is without a referee! COACH Everyone's down! COLE Charles Robinson just got his bell rung, and Zack and Moneymaker are still hurting as well! Zack and Moneymaker come to, and they start trading punches, each man firing off a shot like in an Old West duel! Moneymaker quickly thumbs Zack in the eye, then shoots him to the ropes, but Zack counters and yanks him into an inverted atomic drop...AND BLASTS HIM WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! before falling on top of him for the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE! ...is what the fans are counting, because there's no referee to do it! Charles Robinson is still out on the canvas, as Zack lay on Moneymaker, pinning his arch rivals shoulders to the canvas. Zack calls out to Robinson, trying to wake him without breaking his pin, and then suddenly... WHACK! ...Malibu is blasted across the back with a steel chair by ALISON, who has entered the ring! COACH Oh MAN, did you hear that shot? COLE After all these months, now she's certainly picking her spot, isn't she!? Zack rolls off Moneymaker, his back aching after that shot. Alison puts the chair down and starts to drag Moneymaker on top of Zack, when suddenly a HYOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE pop echoes through the building. BECAUSE CANDIE IS RUNNING TO THE RING~!~!~!~!~!~! COLE It's CANDIE! COACH No way! Alison is shocked to see Zack's significant other slide into the ring, but that shock quickly turns to pain as she is SPEARED INTO NEXT WEEK! Candie then reigns hell down upon Alison, ramming her head into the canvas before pulling her up to her feet and running her face first into the turnbuckles! Alison drops to the canvas, groggy, and tries to crawl away, but Candie grabs her by the hair, pulls her up to her feet, and whips her through the air by her hair, sending her face first to the canvas! COLE She has badmouthed Candie for months, she has gone after Zack, and now justice is being served to Alison here tonight! Candie picks Alison up and tosses her out to the floor, watching her splat at ringside. With her attention focused on the former In Crowd valet, Candie doesn't notice Moneymaker coming up behind her...not until she turns around and encounters him face to face! Candie gets frightened, as Moneymaker cackles while stalking her...but Candie's presence is enough to distract him, as Malibu comes up behind him and hits him with the ANGLE SLAM~!~! COLE HE GOT HIM! Zack covers, and Candie hurries to wake Charles Robinson up, alerting him of the pin! Still dazed, Robinson struggles to get there, and starts to make the count slowly! ONE! TWO! THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KICKOUT! COACH Did he get him? He didn't get him, did he? COLE Sadly, no! Candie looks on in shock, having been sure that Zack would have gotten him. Malibu gets up and turns, only now realizing that his longtime girlfriend has come to aid him...and they embrace in the center of the ring! Zack and Candie get a huge pop from the crowd...but Alison returns to the ring and clubs her down from behind! Alison attacks, and Zack goes to stop her...but as he does, Moneymaker creeps up behind him and rolls him up with a schoolboy, grabbing a handful of tights as well! COLE HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS! The girls roll out under the bottom rope, brawling for all its worth as a slew of referees come down to break them up, while Charles Robinson only notices Zack being pinned down! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE No...COME ON! COACH Haha! Outsmarted once again! Zack Malibu just can't catch a break! As soon as the bell sounds, Moneymaker rolls out of the ring, and amidst the melee at ringside, he plucks Alison away from it all and the duo raise their hands, as "Sympathy For The Devil" airs loudly. BUFFER Here is your winner...THEEEEEEEEEEEEDORE MOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYMAAAAAAAAAAAAKERRRRRRRRRRR! Moneymaker laughs loudly, having gotten the last laugh here tonight. Alison looks all too pleased, even in her disheveled state, as Zack rests on his knees, peering through the ropes at the two of them. Candie comes back into the ring and puts a hand on Zack's shoulder, and the happy couple are all but happy tonight, as victory was just stolen by the leader of The Enterprise. COLE Zack Malibu had that match won, plain and simple, but that conniving SOB pulled the rug out from under him! COACH Don't be sore, Mikey Cole. I'm sure Zack will bounce back in some other way now that he's learned he can't beat ol' Teddy Moneymaker! COLE I don't think he wants to beat him anymore, Coach. I think this is going way beyond that now. At the top of the ramp, Moneymaker and Alison take a bow, drawing more hatred and venom from the fans who feel their hero was screwed. Candie hugs her bloody beau in the ring, and the two of them continue to eye Alison and Moneymaker as we fade to commercial here tonight at the New Year's Spectacular. New Year's Spectacular THE NEW CHAMP IS HERE Leon Rodez defends the OAOAST Championship NEXT

Backstage, we find a contented looking Jade Rodez-Duncan walking the hallways with her recently retained Women's Title around her shoulder. Jade hums away to herself as she pours herself a coffee from the concession table. But the humming stops and she suddenly freezes up, as a familar face pitches up next to her. And over her. Jade quickly puts down the coffee jug before her shaking hand spills any, before smiling up at BOHEMOTH, who lowers his orange-tinted sunglasses. BOHEMOTH Done with that? JADE ...uh... go ahead! Bo picks up the coffee jug himself, while Jade uses the coffee to hide the look on her face. She just about disguises the fact she burns her mouth taking a sip too. Good girl! BOHEMOTH Listen, congratulations. You did great out there tonight. JADE Oh, well, thanks. It was nothing special really. BOHEMOTH I dunno about that. I enjoyed it. Then again, it's about time that bitch got what's coming to her, whatever her name is this week. JADE Heh, yeah. Finishing pouring his coffee, Bo picks up a muffin to go with it. BOHEMOTH Anyway, Happy New Year. Bo leans forward and gives Jade a PECK ON THE CHEEK, much to her clear surprise, before re-lowering his sunglasses and walking off! Struggling not to hyper-ventilate Jade manages to play it cool until he's out of sight before her jaw suddenly drops. COLE Boy, 2009 just keeps getting better and better for Jade, doesn't it? Did that really just happen? COACH Jealous much? COLE Coming up next, the World 6-Man Tag Team Titles are on the line. Cucaracha Internacional to defend against Team Heyross and Brock Ausstin, themselves former 6-Man Tag Team Champions. This all started four weeks ago, when Quentin Benjamin was the victim of a completely unprovoked attack from the wild savage Faqu backstage. COACH To which Team Heyross have turned around and started some unprovoked war with Cucaracha Internacional. I mean, they said sorry! COLE Are you kidding? James Blonde may say he tried to play peacemaker, but from where I'm sitting he just tried to cover his hide. Trying to make out like it was no big deal and that Benjamin should just 'forget about it'? COACH Faqu didn't mean anything by it. He just gets over-excited sometimes. COLE You're almost as bad as Blonde is. If that were possible. Let's go to the ring. "Shine" by Collective Soul plays, bringing out a motivated looking Team Heyross. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and is for the OAOAST WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing the challengers. First, CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... together, they are TTEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM... HHHHEEEEEEEYYYYYYYRRRRRROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Into the ring slides Benjamin, Moss taking the route up the steel steps. They pose on the turnbuckles before pointing out to the entrance. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by Biohazard hits and through the smoke filling the entrance way Brock Ausstin marches out. Brock hops back and forth for a few seconds before suddenly coming to life and making his way to the ring. BUFFER And their tag team partner. From Victoria, Minnesota... weighing two hundred, ninety pounds... BBRRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKK... AAUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Pyro BLASTS from all 4 ring posts as Brock leaps onto the ring apron from the arena floor. Luckily Team Heyross are off the turnbuckles by now, probably best I make that clear. COLE Brock Ausstin coming off maybe one of the biggest wins of his career last week, pinning Landon Maddix in the last OAOAST match of 2008. Will 2009 start as '08 left off for The Current Big Thing? Brock lines up with Team Heyross and they stand facing the aisle. As "The Church Of Hot Addiction" hits, the trio of Cucaracha Internacional make their way out, initially lead by James Blonde. Once he takes one look at the ring, Blonde suddenly decides to hang back beside Faqu, who holds his 6-Man Title between his teeth. Nathaniel Black marches right past the two of them, grumpy as ever. BUFFER And their opponents. Total combined weight, seven hundred and fourty seven pounds. Together, they represent Cucaracha Internacional and are the reigning, defending, OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! The team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUU... and, their tag team partner, from London, England... NATHANIEL BLACK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black doesn't show fear in the face of the opposition, entering the ring without the back-up of his partners. Referee Mike Chioda keeps order as Black mouths off to the challengers. Faqu stomps up the ring steps and Blonde follows close behind him. Really close. Close enough for him to be shielded. COLE 2008 was a year of ups and downs for Cucaracha Internacional, but a year in which they won the 6-Man Tag Team Titles on three occassions, once with Todd Cortez in place of Nathaniel Black of course. COACH Which is why there's been ups and downs. He's a disruptive influence on everyone else. COLE In which case, why doesn't Landon just give Cortez what he wants and throw him out of Cucaracha Internacional? COACH He's got his reasons. COLE Yeah, fear for his life. To no surprise, Blonde stays out on the apron and as Team Heyross make a move forward he leans as far back as possible with Faqu held out in front of him. Brock cools the former World Tag Team Champions down a little and they relent, for now, leaving Brock and Black to start it out. *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds Black squares up to Brock and they go forehead to forehead exchanging words. COLE A real battle of the bulls here, neither man budging. Giving Brock a shove, Black hits the ropes and delivers a shoulder block which Brock is able to absorb. The Current Big Thing just dares Black to try again, which he does, managing to knock Brock back a couple of steps. He stays on his feet though and the two square up again with Black PIEFACING Brock for getting too close to him. Brock decides after that to hit the ropes himself. A dropdown by Black evades the contact though and as Brock rebounds, Black charges into him with another shoulder. Brock is sent reeling backwards, but he comes right back off the ropes with a shoulder tackle of his own that knocks the Brit off his feet! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Woah! COLE Big show of power from Brock! Brock grabs Black in a side headlock as he gets to his feet. A shot to the ribs softens him up a little. And then a second. Black then shoots Brock off the ropes, dropping his head looking for a backbody drop. Slamming on the brakes, Brock instead hooks Black up and delivers a vertical suplex. Cover... 1... 2... No! Keeping control of his opponent Brock makes the tag to Quentin Benjamin. After coming in off the top with an axehandle to the back, Benjamin opens Black up for a thrust kick to the midsection. COLE Cucaracha Internacional may have dominated possession of the 6-Man Titles in 2008, but let's not forget Brock and Team Heyross are former 6-Man Champions in their own right. And just like Cucaracha Internacional, they're a team with a bit of everything. Speed, power, technical ability, it's all there. Benjamin takes Black to the ropes and goes for an irish whip, but Black is able to reverse. As Benjamin comes back he goes down with a baseball slide right through the legs. Quentin then backpedals and comes back off the ropes again to knock Black down with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! A wring of the arm looks to set up another tag, but Black drives a knee. And another. Black whips Benjamin to the ropes again and this time as he hits them, another knee is waiting, this time courtesy of James Blonde! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Benjamin quickly shrugs off the knee and wheels around to grab a hold of Blonde... but yet another knee blindsights him, Black charging in from behind! COLE From all angles Benjamin's getting hit and it started with a cheapshot from the outside by James Blonde! COACH No, I don't think so. JB was just showing somebody in the crowd those swag gold shoes of his and Quentin just happened to run into his knee. COLE Oh you guys are just full of excuses, huh? After clubbing Quentin with a few forearms, Black reaches out and tags in Faqu to a groan from the crowd. The Samoan gets psyched up by Blonde on his way in, as if he needed it. A wild attack up against the ropes is inflicted on Benjamin with his partners begging the referee to try and enforce some sort of rules. Faqu is backed up eventually, thanks in part to Blonde's words. COACH How's that deja vú taste Quentin? Faqu turns to the opposition corner and beats his chest, then turns around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets his chest beat by Benjamin's knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another! Looking for more momentum Benjamin comes off the ropes. Faqu swings out with a chop of his own, but Benjamin is able to sweep underneath. A clothesline is then also ducked, allowing Moss to get the blind tag. Coming back, Quentin takes off with a crossbody. And although Faqu catches him in his arms, a dropkick from Moss forces Benjamin down on top after all. COLE The former Tag Team Champions and Anderson Cup champions showing just why they're such a great team. Moss drops an elbow on the big Samoan. And a second. Going to the legs, an attempt at a kneebar is thwarted though as Faqu uses his powerful legs to push off. Moss rolls to his feet in his corner and tags Benjamin again. Together Team Heyross send Faqu for the ride, ducking a double clothesline and attacking those powerful legs with a double chopblock! Faqu goes down to his knees and is then faceplanted into the mat by his opponents. In rushes Black to try and help, but Team Heyross guide him up and over the top rope to the floor... and when James Blonde tries to come in, Brock starts to move in and he hightails it to the outside. COLE Boy, Blonde wants no part of Brock Ausstin. I can't say that I blame him. COACH Why should he want any part of him? They're not the legal men, incase the referee hadn't noticed! Together, Team Heyross come off the ropes with a double flying shoulder tackle which is enough to knock Faqu off his feet! Once referee Chioda has put Brock out, he does the same with Quentin. But that allows Nathaniel Black to sneak back into the ring... and LAY MOSS OUT WITH A LARIAT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Referee didn't see a thing. With Moss down, Blonde 'encourages' Faqu to give him the tag, which he does. Blonde comes in and puts his gold wrestling shoes to Moss repeatedly. "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" Smirking, Blonde delivers a snap suplex on Moss and covers... 1... 2... No! Blonde delivers a measured right hand as Moss sits up. Backing away into a corner, Blonde gives Benjamin a mock thumbs up before delivering the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop from the second floor. BLONDE WHAT ABOUT IT NOW, DETROIT!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before he can antagonize anyone else, if there's anyone left, Blonde accepts the tag from Black. The Englishman drags Moss away from his corner and rocks him with a European uppercut, then applies a 3/4 headlock to control him. COLE Black looking to slow things down and start dictating the pace, leading by example. He used to be the leader until Landon came along, makes you wonder what he's been thinking recently with Landon's tirades. And I don't think James Blonde ever looked at him 'that way' back then. COACH You mean with respect? COLE Yeah, sure, if you like. Black keeps Moss in check as he looks for an escape, then lets go to unload with an elbow smash. Irish whip sends Moss off, Black ducking down and driving a headbutt into the midsection to double Moss up. Black then takes a detour and lashes out at Brock and Benjamin, drawing them into the ring. Referee Chioda steps in, while James Blonde comes off the top rope with a knee to the side of the head on Moss! COACH A little Brand Labelling from The Trendsetter. Diving out of the ring Blonde starts up an innocent conversation at ringside, while Black covers Moss... 1... 2... No! Tag made, bringing Faqu back in. Moss is passed over to the Samoan and gets laid out with a headbutt. Laid flat out on the mat Moss is then struck in the chest with a sharp thrust. COLE Charlie Moss is in big trouble at this point. COACH About 300 pounds of trouble. Faqu sits Moss up and strikes him in the head, setting him down for a big legdrop! Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... NO! Faqu rants at the referee in his native tongue for not counting the three. Worried about a possible disqualification James Blonde calls his buddy over and tags himself in. Faqu continues ranting, even as Blonde delivers a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on his partner and opponent. Of course, opponent comes off the worst... 1... 2... ...but Moss kicks out. COLE That's some interesting 'teamwork' there. And by teamwork, I mean James Blonde using Faqu as a weapon, as always. COACH Hey, if you've got a Samoan skull, use it. Hardest substance known to man after diamond. Picking Moss back up, Blonde fires off a few jabs. With Moss rocked The Trendsetter then takes a moment to, for no reason, do a little shoulder shimmy. COACH Leon Rodez eat your heart out! Blonde hits the ropes, but gets caught on the rebound with an Inverted Atomic Drop! And Moss holds Blonde in place as Benjamin launches himself off the top with a Springboard Clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Come on, there was no tag there. COLE There was no tag from Black earlier either. You're very observant when it suits you. As Benjamin is put out, the referee is right next to Moss as he gets the tag to Brock Ausstin! And the crowd go wild as Brock comes in and knocks Blonde down with a clothesline. In comes Black to taste a clothesline. And Faqu comes in as well, Brock driving him backwards with an elbow. Faqu bounces out of his team's corner unaffected though and beats his chest, looking to charge Brock. Backpedalling, Brock lures him in and ducks down as Benjamin flies with a Missile Dropkick!! COLE And down goes the big Samoan! Right back up, Faqu finds himself put to the floor as Benjamin SPRINTS into him with a clothesline. Both men go up and over the top rope, but Benjamin hangs on and skins the cat. Benjamin waits for Faqu to get back up, then LAUNCHES HIMSELF OVER THE TOP WITH A PESCADO!!! COLE A little bit of payback from Quentin to Faqu! In the ring, Brock catches Blonde with a Powerslam... 1... 2... NO! Brock waits for Blonde to get back up... but from behind, Black pounces with forearms. The Englishman clubs away on Brock repeatedly with Blonde eventually joining in. Together, they send Brock off the ropes with an irish whip. It's there that the teamwork breaks down though, as Blonde's eagerness to try and get at the front of the queue leads to them both getting wiped out with a Double Clothesline! COLE A little miscommunication from the Champions. And Brock makes them pay. COACH Get it together guys. Landon's watching you know. Grabbing Black and pitching him to the floor, Brock turns his attentions to Blonde again and looks for the finish. Blonde staggers to his feet and Brock sets him on his shoulders for the F-STUNNER-5.... ...but Blonde squirms free! As Brock turns around, The Trendsetter quickly catches the head and sits out with a Jawbreaker. A fancy roll backwards puts Blonde on his feet and he charges in... but Brock catches him and LAUNCHES the Canadian halfway across the ring with an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex!!! COLE WOW! It looked like Blonde just got shot out of a cannon! Brock crawls over and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! With Blonde struggling to get to his feet, Brock comes off the ropes ready to meet him. However, Black jumps to the apron to cut him off with a knee to the back, then delivers a European uppercut from the outside. A hiptoss then dumps Brock outside in a heap and a fight breaks out on the floor between the two. COLE We've got a fight on the floor, but look in the ring, Team Heyross ready to pounce! Having slid back inside, Benjamin and Moss lay in wait as Blonde dusts himself off. When Blonde turns around Moss dodges past him. That causes Blonde to do a double-take and turn again, leaving himself prone for the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!~!~1#!# "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Endgame's coming! COACH Come on JB, think of Landon and the strength will follow! Benjamin signals for Moss to 'take him up' and he exits to the apron. The crowd rise to their feet as Moss lifts Blonde to his feet and starts to take him up into the electric chair. But, before Benjamin can take flight, he gets RIPPED off the apron and HURLED into the announce table by Faqu!! COLE OH JEEZ! The ever-cowardly Double C take cover behind their sofa as Faqu starts ripping it to shreds in a fit of rage! Rolling out of the ring, Moss tries to grab a hold of Faqu, but gets a DESKFAN TO THE FACE!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The bell sounds and although the crowd don't like it, they can't really complain once Faqu has dumped the top section of the table onto the head of Quentin Benjamin. The Samoan nudges the table aside with his hefty hips and grabs onto the sofa next and sends Coach and Cole further scurrying for help. Both referee Chioda and James Blonde leave the ring to try and reason with Faqu, but he's not listening and tips the sofa on top of Team Heyross!! And then, the timekeeper's table, luckily bouncing off of the sofa rather than Moss or Benjamin's skulls. People cower for cover as Faqu picks up a steel chair by the legs and holds it over his head, ready to add that to his pile of furniture, but luckily James Blonde is able to step in front of him before he can. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" The quick-talking Blonde finally manages to talk reason to Faqu and the Samoan tosses the chair aside, still staring down at Team Heyross. Referee Chioda yells at Blonde to get the Samoan out of here and almost gets charged by the raging bull, but Blonde steps in again and manages to lead Faqu away. Nathaniel Black helps out there and they escort Faqu around ringside with Blonde desperately trying to keep him calm. At least until he remembers they've left the belts behind, then he bolts back and steps over the fallen Team Heyross to grab them before Brock can take a swipe at him. BUFFER (sounding shaken) Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has ruled this match, as a result of a disqualification, to TEAM HEYROSS and BROCK AUSSTIN!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BUFFER However, the titles do not change hands... therefore still OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions, CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Blonde manages a quick cheer before going back to sooth-saying his Samoan pal. In the chaotic mess at ringside, Brock lifts the sofa off of his tag partners and checks they're okay after the beating they've just taken. Lethal Rumble match; winner receives OAOAST Title shot at AngleMania VIII LIVE! SUNDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 25th EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

In the center of the ring, announcer Michael Buffer stands within a purple spotlight as the rest of the arena remains darkly illuminated. BUFFER The following contest is the first ever dildo on a pole match! “YEAAAAAAAA!” COACH I can’t wait! We see the dildo hanging from a golden and glittering pole before the view returns to DA BUFF MAN! BUFFER The rules are simple. Once a competitor captures the dildo they may use it in anyway they see fit. The match can not be won until the dildo is removed from the pole. Buffer’s announcement is ended by hard driving metal as “Wildside” rocks its away into the arena. The entrance doors spread apart bringing out a wall of smoke that carries Malaysia Nerdly with it. Her fit and ripped body is packed into a black leather halter top, and red leather boot shorts. The cat of nine tails is swung wildly, lashing out at the audience that attacks her with so much anger. BUFFER Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta Canada. She is a former Women's Champion and The Ultimate Combination Of Beauty And Beatdowns... representing the Deadly Alliance, she is the Angle Award winning….MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSSSSIIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEERRRRRRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYY!!! Moving her tongue across the edge of her whip handle, Malaysia strolls along the entrance ramp. The fans near the guard rail give her much space, not wishing to incur a “Roots” like lashing. COLE I’ve heard some really good things about the dildo being used in this match. COACH What did you just say? COLE The suction cup at the bottom is very study. This makes positioning of your dong practically limitless. Whether you like to have nice clean fun in the shower at the gym where it can attach to the tile wall, or you're like me and enjoy suctioning it to your car seat where you can have some traffic jam fun this toy won't budge once its sealed into place! COACH So you've heard. Malaysia charges up the steel steps, swinging her whip overhead to leave the nearby audience in a state of pure fright. She performs a agile yet powerful leap over the ropes into the ring, and throws up her whip free hand to the booing fans. COLE Krista all set to take on her daughter’s old tormentor. A smoking hot battle between the two toughest girls in the OAOAST! “HOW DOES IT FEEL IN MY ARMS?” Kylie Minouge’s bumping dance track brings out a mammoth cheer from an audience that rises to their feet. Camera flashes click off at rapid pace, as fans try to immortalize the image of the incoming Hollywood Starlet. The barely clothed dancers take on a jungle theme, outfitted in zebra print loin clothes and bikini tops. Their beautiful bodies bump and grind against each other between nightclub like pink and red lights. The queen of this jungle, Krista Isadora Duncan, stands proudly in the center. Her pride has much to do with what she’s wearing, or not wearing in this case, as her gorgeous figure is shown off in white high heels, a tiger print mini skirt and a sparkling orange halter top, while her golden hair is decorated by cute red ribbons. Conspicuous in its absence is her usual martini, oddly replaced by a live snake! COACH God is good! Praise be to Allah! BUFFER And the opponent! Hailing from Los Angeles, California she is a New York Times best selling author, a reality TV star, the founder of the FIT with KID line of exercise videos, a member of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, a loving mother, a four time tag team champion, a 12 time Angle Award winner, the current Money In The Bank contract holder, and the 2009 WRESTLER OF THE YEAR she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! COLE Its just as Mister Buffer said, Krista Isadora Duncan is the wrestler of the year, and if she didn’t have enough people gunning to beat her, the voters just added another reason to go after her. First up, Malaysia Nerdly! Krista bounds down the ramp that’s carpeted with pink and red glitter with the grace and style one would expect of a former model. Reaching the end she offers a little twirl and a sly smirk to her army of fans before heading to the ring. “WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR!” Such a nerdy, nerdy, nerdy chant sours Krista’s mood beyond all belief. Thus the fans are punished for their geekiness by her refusal to do her usual upside leg hanging trick. Malaysia decides to take that opportunity by showing Krista up by jogging in place… COACH Its on now! *DING DING DING* Malaysia’s wide sapphire blue eyes stare at Krista full of carnal lust. Her tongue traces a hungering trail across her ruby red lips, eager to ravage every part of Krista’s body. Miss California glares back, but her intensity rests behind a sharp desire to hurt Malaysia. That desire sends Krista rushing forward at the Canadian. But Malaysia sends out a lariat to greet her arrival. Krissy dips bellow Malaysia’s body builder worthy arm and bounces off the nearby ropes. Any hopes she had of catching her bigger rival by surprise are immediately dashed when Malaysia lunges forward and grabs onto her ready for the red carpet hair. Krista stumbles backwards, but manages to regain her balance in order to snatch onto Malaysia’s hair. For several seconds the two ladies war back and forth, using their powerful strength to painfully twist each other’s necks. The sounds of their quick heavy breathing, grunts, and moans echo through the arena. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Soon Malaysia’s strength begins to win out, as Krista is slowly being pushed downward. A vile grin spreads across Malaysia’s face, watching Krista struggle to stay standing. Suddenly the wrestler of the year stops pushing back and instead pulls Malaysia towards her. Just as she hoped, the dominatrix is thrown off balance and confused by the tactic. As her breasts press into Malaysia’s, Krista pulls one foot back and swivels her torso; Malaysia is thrown overhead and lands with a thud that shakes the ring! “YEAAAAAAA!” “Thank you, thank you! That’s actually a judo throw called the Hayaku inakunare-yo!” “No!” a young Asain boy pipes up. “Hayaku inakunare-yo literally translates into I would like to expand my juices across the surface of your mother’s donkey.” Krista is annoyed, “Hey Captain Sulu, why don’t you tell us what this translates to Go ahead and break that one down Karate Kid.” Still bothered by the fan’s comment, Krista takes out her aggression on Malaysia with a hard slap across her cheek. “AGAIN!” Malaysia screams, as Krista’s hand print burns bright red on her golden skin. SLAP! “AGAIN!” Malaysia’s body rocks beneath Krista, brought to the early stages of ecstasy by her perverse pleasure. “Nah. Honey, I know all about the kinky sex fiend beneath the leather and I like to choke on a ball gag as much as the next lez, but today I want to know about-“ “SLAP ME!” “About the kinky middle eastern politics fiend beneath the leather. Ron Paul said there can be no such thing as Independent Israel. Your thoughts?” “SLAP ME NOW!” “Your answer had absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand and yet still its a shade smarter than anything ever said by Elizabeath Hasselbeck. Bravo, honey, time for a treat.” Krista’s hands slash across Malaysia’s face in rapid-fire fury. Not lost on the audience is the way Malaysia’s tits heave and bounce with each powerful slap. Unfortunately for the Angle Award winning wrestler of the year, a barrage of slaps isn’t the ammunition needed to KO Malaysia, and she manages to regain her composure in order to grab Krista’s hands. “My turn!” She says through a seducing smile, as Krista works in vain to pull her hands free. Krista’s painstaking efforts come to a harsh end as Malaysia succeeds in rolling over onto her back with one powerful turn of their bodies. Although stunned to be on her back, Krista has enough of her wits to put her arms up to shield herself against the hellish slaps Malaysia throws into her face. Even with her arms used in her defense, the blows sting fiercely and force Krista to try and grab her hands like the Edmontonian had grabbed hers. But although Malaysia is too strong to be hindered by such tactics, she grows incredibly frustrated with her inability to be able to punish Krista the way she wants. And so she takes a firm and hurtful grip on Krissy’s hair, but this time she leans far over her head in order to pin her arms down. Much to Malaysia’s depraved delight, her ample breasts smother Krista’s face like twin flesh pillows. Both ladies are engage in an aggressive dance of leather and lace with Krista writhing towards freedom, and Malaysia fighting with all her strength to keep the buxom blonde in her dungeon of passion. COLE Hands were I can see them, Coach! Krista can feel the wrestling mat beneath her and Malaysia’s firm sweaty body sliding against her. The constant shifting of positions locks her into the task of moving her head in search of breathing room underneath her breasts. Her senses fill with the aroma and taste of their flesh as Malaysia plows them into her face. That her nipples are erect aren’t lost on Krista as they brush against the edges of her mouth. Like a tiger irresistibly drawn to its prey, Krista’s lips wrap around the nipple as she guides it into her hungering mouth and begins to suck and flick it with her tongue through the leather top. “Oh god – yes! God that's what I like!' Maylaysia hisses through pursed lips. Captivated by her performance as Krista’s lusty snack, the muscle goddess fails to notice that Krista is slowly guiding them both upright. Krista’s soft fingertips stroke the hardened nipple, making the ache and need in her boil over and she moans softly, arching towards her touch while she continues to rise. “Yes baby! That's what you do!” Malaysia bellows with guttural fire. Little does she know that Krista is moving with deliberate pace to remove herself from her body. Once Malaysia realizes something is a foul, Krista is already retreating to the ropes! The fitness queen bounces back with a flying forearm that throws Malaysia off her feet and into the canvas. The audience cheers the strike but their joy doesn’t last long with Malaysia quickly moving back upright. Not bothered by her foe’s resiliencey, Krissy casually scoots to the ropes and bounces back with another flying forearm. Again Malaysia goes down to delight the audience, but she again makes a speedy return to her feet. Now upright she thrusts her breasts at Krista’s face, a demand to resume the wild pleasuring. Krista doesn’t need to be asked twice, “If there’s one thing the great Julia Child taught us its that few things go better with nipples than light beer. Lay it on me, random fan in the crowd!” She shouts, and then receives a bottle of Coors light from helpful random fan in the crowd. With drink in hand she glides over to waiting Malaysia and dumps liquor on her chest. Malaysia’s voice cracks with a squealing glee as Krista does this… The audience shares a similar overjoyed reaction as Malaysia, however Krista is surprisingly keen to return to business. She finds the will to break her tongue away from her beer soaked treasure and irish whips the fierce beauty to the ring ropes. As soon as she returns, Malaysia attempts to power through her foe with a lariat. But Krista ducks the oncoming strike, causing Malaysia to skid to an off balance halt. She tries to stage a quick recovery and retry her attack on Krista, but she can do nothing besides turn into several kicks to the leg. After her high heels batter Malaysia’s powerful calves, the wrestler of the year further weakens them by throwing her back into the cables. However Malaysia reverses the hold and sends the 4 time tag team champion rushing towards the ropes. Krista comes off the cables with a forearm leveled at Malasyia’s head, but she easily swoops bellow the oncoming strike. Once she reaches the opposite end of the ring she elevates herself to the top rope and dives backwards with a corckscrew moonsault press. Her billion dollar figure crashes into Malaysia and the scantily clad blonde babes topple into the canvas. The sold out Detroit audience gives the aerial display a rollicking round of applause COACH Screw this. Suck her nipples! “Malaysia, you gotta admit, “Krista begins. “Moonsaults, nipple sucking, boob play? I’m at least ten times as good as your prom date. Although according to Maggie, your prom date was just a mustache drawn on your hand that you claimed as Lou Diamond Phillips. I make no judgments, honey.” Emotional Pain. That’s the type of pain Malaysia doesn’t enjoy, and its also the type that sends her hurtling at Krista. But as she arrives the wrestler of the year flips her overhead and lands her across the canvas with an arm drag. Moving with incredible haste, Krista spins around into a moonsault. However, Malaysia shocks her by rolling out the way. Krista recovers from her surprise quickly enough to make an abrupt landing on her heels. But Malaysia still manages to strike her concussed head with a standing knee. COLE I wonder how Mister Dick will feel if Malaysia’s the first person to beat Krista. Its unpredictable because I don’t know who wears the pants in that relationship. COACH Neither. They both wear assless chaps. Malaysia face illuminates with a desire as she watches Krista whimper while holding her aching head. Eager to gain more pleasure from Krissy’s pain, the former women’s champion rushes forward to attack her with another knee strike. But it turns out the fitness queen catches onto Malaysia’s thick leg flap acks her into the air. The ring ropes catch her on her descent and force a gurgle of distress to seep from a face that’s painted by agony. “YEAAAAAAA!” the crowd chants as Krista feels a burst of aggressive tension grip her. In an almost barren ring, there’s little way to channel this sexually charged aggression. But what is there, Malaysia’s whip, is the perfect instrument to do so. Krista gathers it up and both her’s and the audience’s spines tingle with excitement. With a sudden flick of her wrist, Krista sends the whip slicing into Malaysia’s ass. The wire feels like a streak of fire burning into her; the pain is exquisite. She cries out in a mixture of pain and pleasure and strained at the ropes that bound her in place. “MORE!” she screams as Krista watches the beautiful sight of her BUTT snap and bounce from her lashes. Again and again, she strikes Malaysia stirring her firm ass around for the simple delight of her carnal fantasies. The crack of leather on leather joins with Malaysia’s enchanted screams of pleasure to further quench Krissy’s thirst. “My turn!” Malaysia hollers. “Nah. Don’t think so.” “My turn!’” “Honey, let it go. Move on with your life! Draw that Lou Diamond Phillips mustache on your hand and live again. LIVE! See movies, take walks, and finally get into the Harry Potter books your brothers and sisters swear by. You know Molly says she roots for Gryffindor, but secretly she loves her Slytherin boys. Ha ha!” Fine literature does not please Malaysia one bit, and she grabs onto the whip to take matters into her own hands. Scowling at her foe, she raises it above her head to strike down like the hammer of thor. But Krista counters by dropkicking her over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAH!” scream the fans, though their joy is tempered when Malaysia lands on her boots. “I can’t send you home all sad.” Krista comments as she slowly slides down her skirt into… Much like the audience Malaysia stands mesmerized, captivated by the luscious body on full display. Unlike the audience Malaysia is in the middle of a match, and her enchantment proves costly; Krista comes over the ropes and flattens her with a picture perfect shooting star press. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant and receive a little ass wiggle in return. She then grabs onto Malaysia’s tight top and drags her upright. An irish whip sends Malaysia skidding into the guard rail, where she hollers a cry that’s all pain and zero pleasure. More pleased is Krista who watches the former women’s champion stagger away as she runs towards the stairs. Once she reaches her destination the California sex kitten uses it as a springboard to launch herself at her foe. She lands with the precision of a cougar across Malaysia’s back and wraps her claws around her in a piggy back sleeper hold! A bubbling grunt comes from Malaysia’s throat as she struggles to cope with the vice grip locked around her neck. The nearby front row fans urge her to tap out, adding to the frustration of the situation. COLE Krista looking to weaken Malaysia with a choke. But, someone like her has to be pretty familiar with asphyxiation. Indeed she as, as Malaysia calms down to wisely use her strength to try and maneuver Krista off her. The hold of Miss California is painfully tight, as she’s totally unwilling to relinquish her submission. “When I went to Disney Land as a kid I never got my piggy back ride from the bear from the jungle book. You’re the closest thing I’ve come across since, so you’re going to walk around and like it!” Krista demands. Malaysia’s shows no intention of yielding to Krista’s request and continues jerking and tugging at her cumbersome guest. Eventually her struggles give way to results; she’s able to shift Krista in front of her into her thickly muscled arms. Having the tanned beach bunny and her soft skin totally submissive within her dominant chains thrills Malaysia and ecstasy explodes on her face. COACH Suck them nipples girl! Krista jerks futilely against her bonds and her face contorts with anguish. Constrained by arms stronger then a boa constrictor, Krista has little recourse besides screaming in shock when Malaysia begins undoing the strap of her shirt. COLE She’s not! “I am!” “Oh, honey lemme help.” Malaysia’s eyes widened as she peels off her top, displaying round, firm breasts and an image made for a museum… COACH "Why don't you try em out?" Krista purrs to Malaysia MALAYSIA TO KRISTA ROBOCOP While the fans, Robocop and Malaysia rejoice, its again only Malaysia who suffers thanks to her lost hold on Krista. The chesty covergirl covers her boobs with one hand, and uses her free arm to shove Malaysia into the ring. While the former womens champion takes a moment to recover, Krista slips back on her skimpy top to the disgust of the fans. “What? I will not catch pneumonia because you can’t masturbate quick enough!” She shouts back. Deciding to do something nice after that insult, she climbs to the top rope in a rather bent over way. Once that asstastic display concludes she flies at Malaysia and brings her down to the canvas with a cross body block! COLE No pin on that because you can only pin someone after you reach the holy dildo! Molly Nerdly reliably informs me this same dildo was in American Pie, Requiem for a Dream, several episodes of the L Word, and has done Shakespeariean theatre. Its good to work with a professional. Latching onto Malaysia’s shoulders, Krista is able bring the brawny lass upright. She keeps her staggered with a few elbow strikes to the collarbone, and then attempts to launch her at the ropes. But, Malaysia recovers her strength just in time to reverse the hold and send the high heeled babe trotting to the ropes. Krista springs forward with her trusted flying forearm, but all that does is allow Malaysia to catch her and drive her downwards with a crushing bossman slam! Horrified gasps fill the arena from the fans that watch Krista spasm in agony. "I’m going to have fun now." Malaysia steps close to her and grabs her hair in a painful grip. She winces as the muscle goddess hisses in her ear, "So much fun.” A painful twist of her hauls Krista upright and pulls pained groans out her mouth. Her cries are muzzled and her pain worsened when Malaysia sends a knee into her stomach. Miss Money In The Bank is left hunched over in distress, an easy target for the horrible backrake Malaysia inflicts her with. Krista is all too close to toppling over to the canvas, but her descent is halted by Malaysia letting her down gently across her knee. “Now its time for fun” Malaysia chuckles, taking in the sight of Krista’s firm and round cheeks. She watches them flex as Krista moves to be free, and she can no more stop herself than an earthquake. Her hand strikes out and begins spanking her. With each sharp blow her ass rebounded. He struck her until her asscheeks almost glow red and curses seem to flow perpetually. That pleases Malaysia enough to end the spanking and transfer Krista onto her shoulders. Giving Miss California no time to fight out she drops backwards and smashes Krista against the canvas with a Samoan Drop. Pain shoots throughout Krista’s aching body, a welcome occurrence to the sadistic Malaysia. COLE Overwhelming tenacity by Malaysia! COACH What’s overwhelming? COLE Her tenacity. COACH No. What’s overwhelming? What’s that mean?! COLE It means you’re a moron. As Krista is left crippled by Malaysia’s ruthless offense, the Nerdly bruiser is given the perfect opportunity to chase after the coveted dildo. A quick stride carries her to the corner, where she leaps onto the second rope and begins to unhook the dildo. The capacity crowd grumbles their distaste as Malaysia gets closer and closer to unchaining the marital aid. COLE It looks like Malaysia might have it! This match is more exciting than getting Joey Lawrence's album for the 10th anniversary of my coming out! COACH Girl, you know its true. But Malaysia’s triumph is delayed when Krista hauls her weary bones upright and rushes to her position. Not wanting to lose the victory she so was close to obtaining, Malaysia kicks her stiletto boots back at the wrestler of the year. Krista bobs and weaves, swiftly moving to avoid the furious kicks. Malaysia continues to slash away at Krista, but meets only with failure; Krista reaches up and hauls down her leather shorts! “YEAAAAAA!” Malaysia tries to take a page out of Krista’s book… The wondrous rump shaking turns the tables on Krista and transforms her into a drooling wreck. Pleased with using Krista’s tricks against her, Malaysia quells her booty and resumes going after the dildo. But just as soon as her BUTT stops bouncing, does Krista stop drooling. Now recovered, Krista hauls Malaysia off the top rope with a mighty heave! Unable to get her hands up in defense, the Deadly Babe’s fetching face smacks off the turnbuckles. The fans applaud in happiness at Malaysia’s misfortune. But the Edmontionian recovers from the stinging blow with remarkable speed, and whirls around with a punch. But Krista blocks the blow by swiping Malaysia in the gut with a boot. She leaps onto the third rope and then springboards back with a dropkick that sends her rival careening back into the ringposts. Exhausted by Kris’ rapid fire assaults, Malaysia slinks to the canvas and rests against the posts to recover her breath. “WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR!” “Hey now, that’s not very nice to exclude Malaysia in your chants. There’s plenty she can do. Such as…and…and then there’s that thing with the stuff and the thing, no that’s someone else. I bet she can eat her own weight in Twinkies!” Having fulfilled her compliment quota for the month, Krista struts to the center of the ring. One last look to a bone weary Malaysia, assures her that her foe is well weakened. That leads right into… “YEAAAAAA!” the boisterous cheers scale up the decibel charts when Krista finally engulfs Malaysia within her bethonged booty. The touch of Krista’s golden flesh is glorious pleasure, a firebrand on her nerves, almost painful in it’s intensity. Far from humiliated or hurt, Malaysia cups Krista’s perfectly shaped BUTT, enjoying their weight and the smooth silkiness of the skin. Krista jumps, electricity coursing through her veins. She starts to pant; her breathing coming in short sharp bursts as Malaysia’s hands awaken every inch of her skin. “OWWW!” Krista suddenly whelps, a result of Malaysia’s sharp fang like teeth puncturing through her tanned flesh. The dominatrix can’t control her frenzied urges, and gnaws away at Krista’s bottom. Krista can no longer take being treated like a tenderloin steak and pulls herself away from Malaysia’s teeth. “That’s it! I am about to bomb on you! I’m The Dark Knight, and you’re Catwoman starring Halle Berry!” That proclamation sends her darting towards Malaysia. But much to her horror the BDSM fanatic springs to furious life and slams her shoulder through her stomach with a spear! Despite her fitness queen abs, the attack hurts mightily, and Krista moans in misery. “That’s what I like to hear, baby.” Malaysia purrs in response to her opponent’s hurt groans. Desperate to inflict more pain on Krista, Malaysia tugs on her hair to bring her upright. Now standing, the blood rushes to Krista’s brain, and that energy spurs her to attack the queen of mean with a flurry of elbows to the midsection. They do enough damage to win her her freedom and she rushes to the ringropes. Bouncing back she shoots forward in a graceful cross body block. But the move is wasted as she lands right inside Malaysia’s arms. Malaysia lips curl into a devilish grin, and she drops down to crush Krista with a fall forward slam! COLE How can Krista overcome the speed and raw power of Malaysia? How can anyone? Clutching a sore back, Krista makes a frustratingly slow return to her feet. But there’s no chance for her to attack due Malaysia clamping her arms around her with a front waistlock. Instantly Krista exerts a hellish effort to slide herself through Malaysia’s bonds. But her struggle is futile and she’s required to take alternate steps. “Wait, honey, wait. Before you powerslam, press slam, or NBA jam, me hear me out, okay? If you knew that inflicting horrible, awful, soul shredding pain on me would save a child’s life would you do it?” “No. Never. Hell no!” “Of course not, because you’re a hateful bitch, and god bless ya for it. But somewhere out there in ABC’s wide world of sports is a little child sick with cancer, who loves you. And he and/or she, not sure what I meant by and/or but you’re squeezing the oxygen out me, they’re thinking, if you could be the first person to do the impossible and beat me 1 on 1, they’ll have hope that they can do the impossible beat this disease. Are you really going to let this child not die the miserable death they so richly deserve? “I hate children. They break too easily.” Malaysia creepily complains as she agrees and let Krista down. “You did the right thing. For yourself. And for the earth.” Krista soothes her. Less soothing is the knife edge chops she throws at Malaysia that sends her stacked bosoms heaving and bouncing. Taking great personal sacrifice she ceases her chopping in order to throw Malaysia into the ringposts. The Deadly Nerdly slams into the turnbuckles, drawing a gasp of exhaustion out her mouth and staggering her backwards. As she struggles to stay upright, Krista zips past her to the ropes. The cables bounce her back at full force, which she uses to throw Malaysia down with a nasty Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect)! The audience pops huge, but the move isn’t as devastating as they would’ve liked; Malaysia promptly rolls off the canvas. But Krista lies in wait and strikes her back down with a dropsault. She comes off the dropsault on her heels, then immediately flips upright with a breathtaking standing shooting star press. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista beams a red carpet smile towards her adoring audience as she glides to the pole. Her heels climb up the ring posts, and the audience’s cheers grow even more excited. Yet their celebration is a bit premature due to Malaysia storming towards Krista. A pair of vicious clubbing forearms smash into Krista’s spine, ending her ascent and causing her to cry in pain. Her weakened state allows Malaysia to grab onto her legs and lift her onto her shoulders in setup for a powerbomb. COLE The wrestler of the year in danger! But not for long, as she uses her amazing agility to peel over backwards and bring Malaysia down with a hurricanrana. However, her muscular legs can’t hold back Malaysia’s monster strength and the dominatrix uses it to push Krista back to the canvas. Her heart races and her blood thunders as her sexual soul is stirred by Krista’s angelic position. She shuffles forward to bring herself onto Krista’s face. Her hands rise to the soft curls of her hair, a sign of pounding ecstasy that already fills her. Her hot breath caresses her body, so close that Malaysia feels the backwash from each breath she exhales. “Oh, yeah! Give it to me. God, I love it. Ooooh, yes! Give me more!” Malaysia hollers. Krista’s fingertips were draws little diagrams on her captive’s inner thigh and, although not touching her groin, are sending fireworks up and down Malaysia’s left leg, Malaisya’s alabaster skin is flushed and her makeup is smudged with sweat. Krista stops, withdrawing her tongue for a moment, eliciting a groan from Malaysia’s lips. She teases her with a long, slow puff of air played out over the glistening wetness of her skin. And then suddenly she stops. There’s confusion from Malaysia as Krista uses all her might shove her away. Shocked by Krista’s sudden self control, referee Billy Silverman turns to her. SILVERMAN Are you okay? KRISTA SILVERMAN Krista? Are you okay? KRISTA MALAYSIA KRISTA Understandably peeved over that slight, Malaysia rushes at Krista with arm raised in a lariat. But the wrestler of the year ducks bellow her weapon of choice. As they both angle their bodies towards the other Krista flurries her heel forward with a side kick. But Malaysia catches the expensive piece of footwear in her hands. The dominatrix groans a long, sustained agonized groan of full-bodied lust and then slides her tongue up and Krista’s thin ankles. Krista is as repulsed by foot fetishes as your fried P’OG and strikes a victory for us all with an enziguri! However, Malaysia manages to lower head just before it can be taken off by the lethal kick and Krista is forced into landing in a vulnerable position. The Deadly Babe is quick to take advantage of her poor spot by snatching her inside a waistlock and throwing her over with a release German Suplex! The pain is excruciating, leaving Krista feeling like its made ribbons of her back. COLE God, what a suplex! And what a statement Malaysia could make here if she beats the Angle Award winning wrestler of the year. A bitter laugh escapes Malaysia’s lips as she turns her back on her fallen foe and makes her way up the turnbuckles. Fingertips within mere centimeters of the dildo, Malaysia explodes with deep-throated cackles of triumph. But in an example of pride coming before the fall, Krista miraculously powerbombs her off the ropes. The OAOAST Marks pour out wild cheers as Malaysia touches down with a resonating thud. COACH You can’t let homegirl deny you like that! Bark like a dog and smush her face on like you Kevin Garnett and she a 5’9 euro! Krista pauses for a moment to lean against the ropes and let her breath come to her. It doesn’t arrive as fast as she would like, but with Malaysia stirring there’s little time to waste. She begins moving towards the ropes, but is held in place by a solid tug on her hair. Malaysia uses her pretty blond locks as a leash to yank her into an inverted facelock. Her cobalt eyes spewing hatred, she falls downward and hits and further damages Krista’s concussed head with an inverted DDT “MINE!” Malaysia screams pointing to the dildo. “I don’t care how much you scream in all caps that dildo is mine!” Krista announces, stomaching her pain. She then proves her point by kipping up and pointing an angry finger at Malaysia. The former women’s champion dismisses her with a sneer and continues to the turnbuckles. This is to her detriment; the GLAADiator runs forward and grabs her with a side headlock. Within moments Malaysia is being twisted and twirled before she’s dumped face first onto the ground by Krista’s stratusfaction. “BOOOOOO” hisses the audience, their joy for Krista’s comeback deflated by Melissa Nerdly rushing down the ramp. Ignoring the chants of “SLUT” from the audience Malaysia’s younger sister quickly scurries onto the apron to distract Krista. KID is no Woody Allen, as the Scarlet Johanssen lookalike has little effect on her. Thus all Melissa does is attract the attention of the referee, while she watches with dreading hurt as Krista climbs onto the top rope. “By taking this dildo I hereby vow and swear to uphold the holy noble truths and use it only for the greater good of pleasuring cute, Mexican girls that rack up charges on my credit with constant purchases of magic beans. This is my promise.” Krista finishes her solemn vow and takes on the heavy burden of being the one and only dildo bearer! COLE She got it! “It's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' It's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' its’ getting its getting’ kinda heavy Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I’ve got the POWER!” This power that she speaks of is displayed through a dildo assisted top rope lariat aimed at a slowly rising Malaysia. But Malaysia’s speedless rise was only a ruse, a clever way of playing possum that allows her to easily catch across her shoulders in position for her Canandian Backbreaker Pilerdriver. The fans hold their breath and utter silent prayers for Krista’s safety. Those are prayers that don’t go unanswered as Krista slides down Malaysia’s back and brings her down with a crippler crossface! The dildo aids her by forcing itself into Malaysia’s mouth, stretching out her jaw, neck and shoulders! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” As much as Malaysia enjoys the kinky pain Krista has brought her, the shouts from her sister tell her she needs to focus on winning. And so reluctantly, she uses her awe inspiring muscle to roll through the hold. She moves back upright, cocking her fist to terrorize Krista. But she’s assaulted by a face full of boobies… MALAYSIA Malaysia blinks back her grogginess and with the ferocity of a werewolf, lunges at her enemy. But this attack proves fatal as the blond bombshell drives the dildo right into her mouth! Her whole body tenses, and for a moment Krista thinks she might throw her off, but she shudders visibly overcome by the erotic spell Krista’s cast. She has Malaysia suck it hard and fast, bobbing her head quickly on the dildo. She grabs her by the back of the head, Malaysia’s hips thrusting forward involuntarily, as she groaned. Krista moans in response, increasing Malaysia’s own arousal. She salivated all over its head and shaft until it was slimy-wet, and then, without any warning, rips it out of Krista’s hands. “My turn!” She bellows once again in her deep lioness roar, and then stabs the dildo at Krista’s throat. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Krista sidesteps the approaching sex toy. “Hey hey hey, I didn’t pay 35 dollars in GLAAD membership for forced oral and not to receive my gay cheese of the month. This month’s is the transsexual super cheese Monterey Jackie!” Malaysia hasn’t any interest in LGBT cheeses, and rushes forward to lower down the dildo like the sword of damacles. KRISTA TO MALAYSIA Krista picks the fallen dildo up, and with her face frozen in dramatic heroism, slowly turns into the camera. “Who’s got the power…I GOT THE POWER!” “YEAAAAA!” Krista wraps the dildo around a stunned Malaysia’s neck and uses the prop to pull her downwards as she leaps up with knees tucked into her chest. The KIDology bounces Malaysia off her knees onto the mats, leaving the ferocious tiger as harmless as a newborn kitten. While the audience celebrates an impending victory, Krista hooks Malaysia’s leg for a pin.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Melissa dives into the ring! CROWD THREE! Melissa falls onto Krista but she’s a nanosecond to late, and the audience is allowed to throw a gargantuan pop into the air for Krista’s win. “In My Arms” returns to the arena sound system as the fans continue their cheering and applauding. BUFFER The winner…KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! The most wild celebrating is done by the Detroiters, as Krista’s victory party extends no further than sipping a martini and wiggling her booty at a few lucky fans. COLE Put it in the books! Concussion and all, Krista ends 2008 as the wrestler of the year, and starts 2009 defending that crown with a hard fought victory over her daughter’s old archenemies. And the Deadly Alliance finishes the night with 1-2 record. Not so great for the stable of the year. EULOGY BY REJECT COACH HA-HA! You were saying! The fans throw a maddened fit over what they’ve just seen, blasting Reject with heat that burns as hot as a furnace. He, however, only stares at Krista with a distant, frostbitten stare. However his emotionless response is deeply contrasted by Malaysia, who’s face fills with colour and life. She rises back upright, expanding her arms and roaring her queen of the jungle roar. COLE This is totally unnecessary! Unnoticed in Reject’s arrival and Malaysia’s return, Melissa had creeped outside. But her return back into the ring is within everyone’s eyes due to her bringing a chair with her. The tool is dropped in front of Krista, and Reject and Malaysia nod an agreement on an unspoken plan. He brings her upright, but merely does so to shove her into the arms of Malaysia. The Deadly Babe lifts Krista onto her shoulders and then smashes her head against the steel chair with a her dangerous pile driver finisher! “BOOOOOOO!” The audience may hiss and holler all they want, but there is nothing they can do to stop Reject and Malaysia from battering their victim with stomps. “YEAAAAAAAA!” What’s that cheer for? Why its for Tyler Bryant and SHAYNE BRAVE rushing to the ring! COACH Its good to see they changed pants and washed their hands before coming out here. The DA members scatter the moment the hometown heroes hit the ring, but with Krista left KO’ed in the center of the ring the damage is done. Melissa and Reject point menacing fingers at D*LUX while Malaysia licks her lips at the image of Krista’s wounded body. Tyler and Shayne stand on the ring ropes, loudly and courageously daring the DA to come and fight. “D*LUX! D*LUX! D*LUX!” COLE Thank god, Detroit’s very own D*LUX was here to rescue Krista. But Krista came into this match with a concussion and she’s not leaving it in any better shape. New Year's Spectacular 6-MAN TAG TITLE MATCH Team Heyross & Brock Ausstin challenge Cucaracha Internacional NEXT

The lights turn blood red as purple/orange smoke begins to blanket the stage, “Creeps” by Fedde Le Grande playing in the ground. BUFFER The following is a first round Anderson Cup bout. Currently on their way to the ring, Port Au Prince, Haiti, the minions of the underworld… LOS CONQUISTADORS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Uno and Dos drop to their knees ringside in praise of their voodoo gods, kendo sticks with shrunken heads in their possession. COACH Even I’m freaked out by these guys, Cole. COLE You wouldn’t want your daughter to bring either one of them home for dinner, that’s for sure. Fear gives way to hope as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, 220 pounds, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash and Windels head down the aisle slapping hands and kissing babies. No really. One lady holds out her baby for them to kiss. COLE Just as we suspected. Baron Windels is the new partner of Tim Cash, Coach. COACH We saw them come together last week and they’ll really need to be if they expect to defeat Los Conquistadors. The pre-match garb is removed and the bell is signaled. * DINGDINGDING * The good sportsman that he is, Tim offers a handshake, which Uno answers with the old Great Muta throat slash and thumbs down taunt. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CASH COACH COLE Come on, he was only trying to be a nice guy. Once the disappointment wears off, Cash locks up and is placed in a painful side headlock. He shoots Uno into the ropes and drops down, leapfrogging the Conquistador on the rebound before utilizing a drop toehold to his advantage. BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK finds its mark and we have our first pin attempt. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash wrings the arm but is raked across the eyes. Scoop slam and a beauty. Off the ropes Uno plants a knee into the heart of wrestling’s last real good guy and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Uno shimmy’s to the corner, where he performs a Jerry Lawler-esque middle rope piston punch…BUT EATS A BOOT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Fortunately for Uno he lands near his corner and easily tags out. Unfortunately for Dos he gets caught with a hip toss and then a standing dropkick. A tag is made and Baron Windels comes in firing. He whips Dos into the ropes for the MYSPACE COMEBACK, then shoots him off again and drops down as the new legal man Tim Cash scores on a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE What excellent teamwork being displayed by Tim Cash and Baron Windels. If this is a sign of things to come, they’re gonna make one helluva team. COACH Yeah, but let’s not go crowning them yet, Cole. The match is far from over. Los Conquistadors aren’t warmed up yet. Another 5 minutes and they’re gonna be dangerous. COLE Not warmed up, another 5 minutes? Who do you think they are, Greg Valentine? COACH Do you even know who Greg Valentine is? COLE Do you? COACH Well, uh… Don’t we have Ed Werder standing by at Valley Ranch? Amidst the banter we have a cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The excellent teamwork from Cash and Windels continues, as Cash leapfrogs Dos and BW drills him with the BANDIT KICK! Cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Save by Uno! Irked by the interference, Baron hurls Dos towards the Conquistador corner and challenges Uno. At first hesitant Uno eventually accepts…and charges into THE DEVIL’S ADDICTION! Yet another exchange is made by Cash and BW, and the duo hit a DOUBLE SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! Meanwhile, outside, Dos reaches for his voodoo stick in order to reverse his team‘s fortunes, but his plot is foiled courtesy of a baseball slide by the 6’7 Baron Windels. With no forces of evil to stop him, Tim Cash entertains the crowd with the CHUCK BERRY DUCK WALK (Stump Puller), and picks up the submission! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the second round of the Anderson Cup… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash and BW celebrate. COLE Oh, yeah. Tremendous win for Tim Cash and Baron Windels in their tag team debut. More great act-- BACKSTAGE – YEEEEEAAAARRGGHH! Lunar Phoenix is not happy. In the background, BLACK WIDOW hass found a corner to stay in. Phoenix continues to RAGE, turning over benches. Near the door he punches the wall – and PAUSES as THE NAME is suddenly in the doorway. STAREDOWN~! NAME: What’s your problem, dude? PHOENIX: My PROBLEM? My problem is punks like you showing up out of nowhere and getting the royal treatment! NAME: It’s business. PHOENIX: Business? He looks to Widow, who shrugs. PHOENIX: Alright. Fine. Let’s talk business. Since no one else in this company is going to make you earn your name, I will. NAME: (smiles) Heh. Alright. Lay it down. PHOENIX: Next week. You and me. If you win, I leave you alone. If I win… you curtain jerk for the next year. NAME: Fine by me, brother. Phoenix nods. Clearly this is over for him. But Name just stands there. Phoenix can’t back down or he loses face so he stays locked in the staredown. NAME: You know, brother, I thought you were the man. You had a name, man. Respect. But over the last year and tonight you’ve shown nothing but contempt for this great sport. I’ll see you in the ring. You need to be taught a lesson. You need a new name. A better class of opposition. I’ll be happy to give it to you. Name walks away. Phoenix is SEETHING. New Year's Spectacular FANTASY MATCH Dildo on a Pole: Krista meets Malaysia NEXT

COLE Folks, we're having a blast here in Detroit and things are about to get even wilder, because I have COD standing by! We cut bakstage to the COD dressing room where Krista Isadora Duncan, wearing a white bath robe, stands with regularly dressed Alix, clad in a white polo shirt and heavily destroyed jeans. The two seem to be engaged in an argument. KRISTA I am telling you this with all absolute honesty. Steve Nash would kill you in seconds. ALIX But, like, I don't mean attack him just like all up front and stuff. I mean, like you know, get a group of dudes, some lazer rifles, and some flying barracudas, and just let em do what they will. No more playoff games for that rat faced Canadian dork! KRISTA I think you'd be slapped by a zooolgst for violating the laws of the animal kingdom. Flying barracudas? Anyway what do you care about Nash, I thought you were a clippers fan? ALIX I have love for my brothers in purple and gold. KRISTA Jumping on the bandwagon are we? ALIX Noooooooo. Its more like I'm paying a friendly visit. Like if Jay does a song with Lil Wayne, doesn't mean he's not part of the Roc anymore. KRISTA Uh-huh. Sorry bandwagon full. But, hey, the colours look real nice next to your Los Angeles Angels of Anhaiem of California of Orange County of Southern California of Costal California jersey. ALIX Shut up! COLE Um...girls. ALIX Ahhhhh! Who said that? God? God! God, is speaking to us! COLE Well, thank you. But its actually me, Michael Cole. Krista last week on HeldDOWN, The Deadly Alliance invaded your family baseball game and left you with a mild concussion. We want to know, how is your head? ALIX How do you think it is, you communist monster? You Islamic terrorist! You savage raper of god's earth! You degenerate white devil! HOW DO YOU THINK IT IS, SON OF SATAN! I dunno, Krista, how is your head? KRISTA The doctor said I have a mild concussion, which I guess is different from a regular concussion in that the headaches aren't horrific and soul shattering. Just plain soul shattering. Lucky Krista! Also the painkillers they gave me, have less value on the black market. Um I see two of everything, but that may be because I've been injecting Martini's into my blood. My vision is blurred sometimes. My jaw feels like its being beaten with a dumbell and my judgement is completely out of wack. Today...I actually wore a bra. ALIX I noticed your nipples weren't as erect as they usually are. COLE The Deadly Alliance were neither suspended nor fined for their attack on you, even though it took place outside the OAOAST confines. Does it upset you that Josie Baker did not levy a punishment on Mister Dick and his crew? KRISTA That's a fantastic question from a fantastic man. ALIX Fantastic man? Wow, you're really not feeling good! Usually ya just call him "Hey Assface" or if you're feeling extra cranky you just throw a brick at him. KRISTA The answer is why would I harbor any sort of malice or ill will to the greatest female leader this side of Caroline Kennedy? The very fact that Deadly Alliance and Mister Dick haven't been suspended for insulting my thirteen year old daughter, sexually threatening my eighteen year old, flying cross country to bean me with a baseball, flying to Detroit to attack one of my biggest fans, tying me up, molesting me, promising to target and hurt every single person I hold dear, the fact that no one has even got a "Ya know that just ain't very Christian of ya, Mister Dick" takes me to a happy place. A happy place where love fills the air, hope springs eternal, and republicans are hunted and brutally devoured by a gigantic dragon that looks Jesus Christ. Honey, this my come as a shock to you, but I actually requested to Josie that she conduct of all her appearances inside the San Diego Chicken suit. Its unique, its fun, its a giant chicken. When that didn't take, I managed to connivence her not to fine Mister Dick or the Deadly Alliance. You might be saying to yourself why would she do that? I would reply you shouldn't say things to yourself, honey, talking to yourself is a sign of paranoid schizophrenia. I would then say because by giving Mister Dick and Malaysia carte blanche to do whatever they want to me, I've got carte blanche to do whatever I want to the both of them. And what I want to do is call in an Israeli air strike and bomb them both off the face of this terrestrial planet Hamas style. COLE You'll get your chance tonight when you face Malaysia in the first ever dildo on a pole match. ALIX I think the key to winning this match, is to use that teleportation device Melody and I have been working on to teleport yourself to the dildo! KRISTA Its not a teleporter. Its a Lucky Charms box with the word charms crossed out and teleportation written in crayon and spelled with a p. Peleporation. ALIX I don't see you coming up with any genius ideas, miss thang. KRISTA Oh no? I think I do have idea. Not sure if its genius or not. ALIX Lay it on me, sister of soul and funk, and I will be judge, jury and executioner of its geniuses. KRISTA My idea is for you to shut up. ALIX My idea is that you're a retard. KRISTA That's not an idea that's an observation. ALIX Says the retard. KRISTA I don't know how to continue this argument. ALIX You shouldn't because you're a retard. KRISTA Oh, good one. ALIX I thought so. That's why I said it. COLE Um...Mister Dick has made a challenge to you at the grandest stage of them all.. KRISTA No way! They're putting Soul Train back on the air? You best not be messin wit' a bitch, fool! COLE No. Not Soul Train. Anglemania! KRISTA Oh. Leon Rodez is a poor substitue for Don Cornelius. Oh, honey, what am I saying? Believing he'll still be champion by then is like believing gay men and black women from lower income areas AREN'T the only ones who can get aids. Absurd! Yes, now back to Mister Dick. Honey, its hard to fit in Anglemania on the Blackberry between lunch with Angelina, dinner with J-Lo, sweaty monkey sex with Alix, so be a darling and remind me when it is. COLE Anglemania comes to you live from Indianapolis on April the 5th. KRISTA April the 5th. Not the 4th. Not the 6th. But the 5th. Gee shucks, Bubba! I was supposed to perform the ceremony for Terry's marriage to a naked mole rate. TERRY (O.S) I won't marry him! ALIX He comes from good stock, and we need the dowry to keep the land! You wanna see this family go under? Do ya? Do ya? KRISTA Honey, forget the naked mole rat. Let it crawl back up Christian Wright's ass, I gots me some fightin to do! I happily accept Mister Dick's invitation. I happy accept the opportunity to castrate him. I happily accept the opportunity to undo said castration, only to re do it, and I happily accept the opportunity to leave him in a pool of his blood, urine, feces and if I can find just the right sledgehammer, brain fluid. Basically I accept the right to make April 5th the most terrible, rotten, no good, very bad day of Mister Dick's pointless existence. ALIX Do you accept the right to do an Irish jig? KRISTA But of course! ALIX Yo, non fiction dialogue, home skillet! Word to mother, MD's foul way just bought him some of dat gun play! BLAT BLAT BLAT ALL UP IN THE SAN ANTONIO UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT! KRISTA What is that? ALIX It could either be the declaration of independence or it could be a gun. KRISTA Why do you have a gun? ALIX Uh hello, this is planet earth, calling for Krista. Unlike some people I'm not gonna get raped, shot or murdered when I'm drinking 40s on Skid Row. KRISTA Why would you ever go to Skid Row? ALIX Um, we're feeling pretty retarded today, aren't we? I'd go there to rape, shoot, or murder. How am I gonna do that without a piece? COLE That actually does make sense, Krista. KRISTA You wanna brick thrown at your head? COLE No ma'am! I'm sorry. Thank you for joining us and good luck tonight against Malaysia. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the NEW YEAR'S KNOCKOUT, for the OAOAST Women's Championship! Two women will start the match and eliminations will occur by pinfall, submission, disqualification or by count-out. The last woman standing will be the OAOAST Women's Champion! Introducing at this time, the participants. Fallout Boy's cover of "Beat It" fires up first, bringing out the OAOAST's chief Fallout Boy fan (that includes the band, the Simpsons character and the resulting comic series), Melody Nerdly. Melody's wrestling tights of choice for the night are black, lined with green '0' and '1' computer code. BUFFER First, eminating from The Fortress Of Nerdlytude... "THE GAME GENIE"... MMMEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOODDYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Melody climbs to the top ring step and strikes a superheroic pose, "Slide Away" by Oasis hits. BUFFER Introducing next, from Providence, Rhode Island. She represents Cucaracha Internacional... MMMMEEEEEEGGAAAAAANN... SSSSSKKYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan shadow-boxes on her way to the ring. Standing on opposite sides of the ring, Megan and Melody shoot glares at each other. Meanwhile, "Renegade" by Jay-Z and Eminem plays out Nerdly number two, Melissa. BUFFER Representing The Deadly Alliance, from The Bronx, by way of Edmonton, Alberta Canada... MMMEEEELLLLLIIIISSSSSSAAAAAA... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Melissa takes a position on the outside as well, as another in the parade of Nerdlys makes her way out. To the sounds of Lupe Fiasco's "Superstar", Molly Nerdly heads to the ring still sadly missing her once trusty Siclopse. BUFFER Next, also from Edmonton, Alberta Canada but fighting out of New York University... MMMMOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Next to hit is "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore to a big cheer from the crowd. Bounding out through the smoke, Maggie Nerdly throws out heavy doses of "RAWK" to all. On the way down the aisle she tosses her bouqet of black flowers into the crowd, caught by a balding man who presumably isn't next in line for anything except collecting his dole money. BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta Canada, she is a former OAOAST Women's Champion and YOUR It Girl on the scene... ladies and gentlemen, MMAAAAAAAAGGIIIIIEEEEEEE... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Sliding into the ring, Maggie climbs the turnbuckles and salutes the fans. COLE All eight women drew lots before the show to determine what order they'd enter this gauntlet style match. And drawing the short straws were the two former Women's Champions in the field, Holly and Maggie Nerdly, who will start this match off. And speaking of Holly, it's she who emerges next as "Another Body Murdered" hits. Sour-faced as ever Holly stalks to the ring, pulling her arm angrily away from the reach of fans who try to reach out and tag her. BUFFER Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada... another former OAOAST Women's Champion, she is "THE ANGEL OF DEATH"... HHHHOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Still stood staring at those same over-zealous fans, Holly eventually pulls herself away to head to the ring. As she and Maggie are kept apart by the referee assigned to the in-ring action, Charles Robinson, "Sex And Money" plays. It's a case of new name but same reaction, as boos follow the newly re-christened Lorelei DeCenzo on her walk to the ring. BUFFER Representing The Enterprise... "THE MONEY HONEY"... she is LLLLLOOORRRRRREEEEELLLLEEEEEEIIIIIII... DDEEECCCEEEEEEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, to a BIG reaction. No, I mean SUPER BIG. Okay, she may have officially re-located from Detroit. But clearly family ties still run deep as Jade is welcomed like a homecoming hero all the same as she bounds through the entrance way. And in return, Jade greets the fans with the exuberance of a homecoming hero, pumping her fists in the air on both sides of the stage. The excited Women's Champion jogs to the ring and even a small confrontation with Lorelei can't wipe the smile from her face. BUFFER And finally, she now resides in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is the reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS DETROIT"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Little Miss Detroit!? Oh Jade, kiss goodbye to that inheritence. COLE Well if you're going to risk your life, might as well be when the potential killer has a concussion. Let's hope it worked. Greeting the fans on her way with her newly honed Duncan public relations skills, Jade pitches up in friendly territory next to Melody. Lorelei, Melissa, Megan, Molly, Melody and Jade now surround the ring with only Melody and Jade making anything approaching communication. As Jade passes away her Women's Champion, attentions now turn to the ring where Holly and Maggie continue to wait in opposite corners. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Alright, here we go. Maggie and Holly to start and when one woman is eliminated, they'll be replaced by the next competitor. It's winner stays on with high-stakes, the Women's Title goes to the last woman standing. With the sounding of the bell we're underway, with Maggie quick to get the crowd a-clapping. The rhythmic sound ends quickly though, as when Maggie squares up to Holly she gets slapped to the canvas. Holly gives the crowd the 'up yours' gesture to show what she thinks of their clapping. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Picking Maggie up, Holly slaps her across the face again. And a second time. Holly then shoots Maggie across into a corner. Taking her time following up costs Holly and her nonchalant charge into the corner is met with two boots from Maggie up into the chest! Holly rolls through to her feet and Maggie knocks her down with a back elbow attack. Back up, Holly takes a clothesline. And then a dropkick, forcing Holly to retreat from the Nerdly firecracker! COLE Oh yeah! Maggie Nerdly all fired up! COACH Maybe if she showed this much passion to Leon they'd still be together. COLE WHAT!? COACH I've heard stories. COLE You've heard nothing but the results of talking out of your ass. Shut up. Holly backs away on her knees into a corner. Maggie looks to press home her advantage but falls right into Holly's trap, the veteran pulling her down with a double legsweep and putting her feet on the ropes... 1... 2... With a little help from Jade and Melody, referee Robinson notices the feet on the ropes and makes Holly break her pinfall. COLE Holly almost stole this fall but those on the outside weren't going to stand for that. Holly curses being caught out, but mainly curses Jade and Melody for doing the catching. She directs her abuse at them and even SPITS at the Women's Champion who just about weaves out of the way. Referee Chad Patton keeps order on the floor, while Holly's distraction is punished by a Maggie Nerdly schoolgirl... 1... 2... No! First up, Holly cuts Maggie off with a kick to the gut. COLE If Holly or Maggie are to leave Detroit with the Women's Title, they're going to have to win seven straight matches, so the quicker they can get this first one out of the way, obviously the better. COACH That's not Holly's style though. Clearly not. Holly takes longer admiring the results of her kick than actually following up on it and when she goes for an irish whip, it's easily reversed by Maggie. As Holly rebounds Maggie leaves her feet with a clothesline to knock her down. Maggie jumps back up and throws out that RAWK to cheers from the fans. Hitting the ropes herself, Maggie looks for another clothesline, but is thwarted by a two handed shove from Holly. As Maggie rolls back to her feet Holly loads up her own clothesline... "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!" ...and the rock bitch gets the SCREMO treatment, sending her reeling away with ringing eardrums. COLE Now Holly knows how we all feel having to listen to The Heavenly Rockers! COACH Again, if Maggie made some more noises like that maybe things'd be different. I'm just sayin'. COLE Please stop "sayin'". With Holly dis-orientated, Maggie gets her flying clothesline. Maggie then subjects Holly to some Rick Rolling and goes for the cover... 1... 2... No! As Maggie charges again, Holly cuts her off with a knee to the gut, then uses two handfuls of hair to throw her down to the canvas. Scowling, Holly eventually stops rubbing her jaw as Maggie starts to try and sit up. Grabbing hold of her by the wrists the scowl on Holly's face intensifies as she pulls Maggie up a little, then STOMPS her back into the canvas!! COLE Ooh! That was nasty! The back of Maggie's head, just driven into the mat with that reverse curbstomp! Maggie's sisters cringe on the outside... well, Melody and Molly do, Melissa manages a smile at her sis's misfortunes because she's cruel like that. But the other two cringe as Maggie holds her head in pain. Holly takes this time to stroll around a little, picking her spot for a stomp to the back of the head. And then a second. Slowly, Holly brings Maggie up by the hair and throws her face-first into the turnbuckles, delivering a couple more stomps before being reprimanded by the referee. Not bothered at all, the blasé Holly ignores the ref and pulls Maggie out of the corner, then punches her right in the face. COLE Holly is just mean, plain and simple. COACH Yeah, great ain't it? Down goes Maggie in a heap holding her face. Showing her typical levels of compassion, Holly pulls her up by the hair and delivers another slap. Holly then turns to the crowd, twirling the finger. COACH There it is, the international sign for the Percussion DDT! By the time Holly puts on the front facelock though, Maggie is recovered enough to run her opponent backwards into the turnbuckles! Backing up Melody then takes her over with the Backflip Northern Lights Suplex, better known as the Swagger Jacker!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE What a move that was, this could do it for Holly! Leg hooked... 1... 2... NO! COACH Nah, Holly's as tough as they come. Takes more than that to put her down. I hear the same about Maggie actually, which might be why her romance wit... COLE Enough! Maggie gets over the surprise of the close 2 count just in time to grab Holly for the Hammerlock DDT... but Holly counters, spinning out and pulling Maggie into a knee to the ribs. Underhooking both arms, Holly shows a rare moment of directness as she quickly plants Maggie forward into the mat with the Angel's Wings!! COLE What a recovery from Holly, she really planted Maggie with that one. Back to not caring, Holly makes a very relaxed pin... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, MAGGIE NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And that suddenly, Maggie is gone. Holly's a dangerous competitor when she can be bothered. As Holly shoves Maggie away from the ring, she's replaced by sister number two as Molly enters. The unpaid intern doesn't take the cheap option of attacking Holly while her back is turned and pays for it as Holly cuts off her attempts to lock-up with a raised knee. Holly clubs Molly over the back with a couple of forearms, then throws her into the turnbuckles. COLE Holly and Molly, this could get confusing. COACH Are you kidding? Compared to the endless sea of sisters that keep miraculously popping up this is like calling Woody Allen fighting 50 Cent. Actually that's a good character comparison I stumbled on too. Go me! Holly stomps a mini-mudhole into Molly's chest, before sending her for the ride corner to corner. Not so much charging as wandering, Holly misses on her follow-up elbow in the corner though. Molly strikes her in the chest with forearms, then sends Holly back to the corner they came from and produces a Boxoffice Bust in the corner! Winded, Holly falls into a hiptoss and a cover... 1... 2... No! COACH A hiptoss? Really? Come on now. COLE Well she did hit the avalanche beforehand. But, yeah, that was more than a little hopeful. COACH Forget being an unpaid intern, I hope Molly's also being treated as an unpaid wrestler if that's anything to go by. Otherwise we need to look at our hiring policies. Staying on the attack, Molly clubs away on Holly as she climbs back up. Holly cuts her off with another kneelift and actually stops in mid-match to put her hands on her hips out of frustration. Once she's portrayed her mood enough, The Angel Of Death hooks up the arms and prepares to deliver the Angel's Wings on Nerdly sister number two. Molly fights her way free though and doubles up Holly with a kick, applying her own double underhook. Holly fights out just as quickly, shoving Molly backwards towards a corner. Not connecting, Molly stops short and tells Holly to bring it. And Holly does, throwing a very elaborate clothesline, which Molly very easily counters into a schoolgirl... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What!? COLE Take your taunts back Coach, because the unpaid intern just pinned a former Women's Champion in the middle of this ring! BUFFER HOLLY has been ELIMINATED! Looking shocked, once the reality sinks in Holly slaps the ring with frustration. As she rolls out of the ring Lorelei tries to console her, but Holly is pissed and just storms off cussing up a storm. COLE Holly was too cool for her own good and she took the Oscar Bait served up by Molly Nerdly. And now, look at this, it's going to be Nerdly versus Nerdly because in comes Melody next! Sisters square up as it's Molly and Melody paired off. Hopping on her heels an eager Melody initiates a lock-up and the two sisters struggle for position before Melody sneaks behind with a waistlock. After an initial look of confusion, Molly reverses into her own waistlock though. MELODY Hey, is that Martin Scorcese in the third row!? MOLLY *gasps* Where!? With Molly distracted Melody reverses the waistlock and Molly soon realises she's been duped. He was actually in the fifth row. "LET'S GO NERD - LY!" "LET'S GO NERD - LY!" "LET'S GO NERD - LY!" "LET'S GO NERD - LY!" COLE This crowd split right down the middle... uh, sort of. Unable to find an escape this time Molly backs up and drives Melody back into a corner. Molly then grabs hold of Melody's arm, whipping her across the ring. But Melody avoids another Boxoffice Bust by sidestepping Molly's corner charge. Melody leaves the ring and heads to the top rope quickly, getting there just before Molly can regain her feet and taking off bringing both knees down to drive Molly backwards!! COLE It Came From The Top Rope! Melody jumps back to her feet, then dives on top for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Melody realising she needs to get some quick pinfalls, some quick eliminations to aid her hopes of leaving as Women's Champion and become the third family member to hold that honour. COACH Hmm, I guess third out of fourty six ain't bad. Melody hits a snap suplex and tries another quick cover... 1... 2... No. Coming off the ropes Melody throws a dropkick, which is swatted aside. Molly grabs Melody in a side headlock as she gets up. Going to the ribs, Melody shoots the Little Hitchcock off to the ropes but gets gets knocked down on the rebound by a shoulder tackle. COLE These two of course know each other very well. COACH Are you kidding? The size of their family they probably didn't get within six sisters of each other at any point in their lives! COLE Well they're certainly getting well-acquainted tonight. Molly hits the ropes again, but Melody is waiting with a two handed thrust to the chest! MELODY HADUKEN~! COLE FIREBALL TO THE STOMACH! OH THE HUMANITY! With Molly doubled over from the devestating video-game attack, Melody goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Molly catches Melody with a jawbreaker on the way up, then sends her for an irish whip. As she lifts Melody looking for a sideslam though, Melody is able to swing up and around the back. Taking hold of Molly's head she then drops out with a Diving Reverse DDT! COLE Melody taking a trip to the darkside with The Imperial Death Drop. 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And that'll do it for Molly! BUFFER MOLLY NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! As soon as the three is counted, Melissa Nerdly jumps into the ring and attacks Melody from behind giving her no chance to relax! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Things just got Deadlier, Michael. COLE Melissa wasting no time in going on the attack on her older sister. Melissa mounts the back of her sister and strikes her with punches to the back of the neck, before pulling her up for a crossface strike! Another cruel blow is delivered before referee Robinson steps in to call her off. Naturally Melissa has a go at the referee while Melody crawls to the ropes looking for a reprieve. COLE First time we've seen Melissa in OAOAST competition, usually serving her purpose as Reject's arm candy. And I'm sure she's far from popular here in Detroit considering her past discretions with one Leon Rodez. COACH He had it coming. Besides, Melissa's more than arm candy. She was always the ambitious one of the family, always the one who was willing to do whatever it took to succeed in life. In a ruthless way, not the work-shy shortcut way most of her sisters have taken. With Melody backed against the ropes, Melissa grabs the top for leverage as she fires a roundhouse kick across Melody's chest cavity. And then a second. COACH Nice flexibility. Always good to see. Staggering away from the ropes, Melody is tracked by Melissa but wheels around with a forearm shot! Melissa is initially stunned, but fires back with a right hand. Another forearm from Melody. Another right hand from Melissa. Breaking the sequence, Melissa shoves Melody back a step and takes advantage of her being off balance by delivering a clothesline. Fed up with the abuse of the crowd Melissa turns away and sneers their way before getting into an arguement with a section in front of her. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Melissa looks outraged and tries to take her frustrations out on her sister by trapping her in a Texas Cloverleaf... but Melody has long since recovered and kicks her away. COLE A little loss of concentration by Melissa, could it prove costly? Landing on her BUTT, Melissa kicks her feet having a mini-tantrum before stomping back to her feet. She throws another clothesline, but Melody ducks underneath and hooks up on the arms, then angles Melissa down with the Backslide Driver! COLE It certainly looks that way, Sega Mega Driver connects. With Melissa dazed, Melody hooks her up with a knee in the back of the head and a hold of the far arm, falling back and THAT JUST HAPPENED!! A cheer goes up of genuine delight as Melody covers her sister up... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BUFFER MELISSA NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! COLE Melody Nerdly eliminating two of her sisters in quick succession, the first lady in this match to get some momentum going with a couple of victories. And I have to say I'm very impressed with Melody. She has been a revelation in the past month or two, long-gone are the days of Melody being our most pointless employee. Sorry Coach. As Melody gets back on her toes, it's Megan Skye who's the next entrant. Megan takes her time about getting involved though, hoping some of that momentum will evaporate in the time she takes to climb the ring steps. COLE Half the field gone, we're down to four. Melody and Megan who met one on one four weeks ago with Melody coming out on top, plus Lorelei DeCenzo and the Women's Champion herself still to enter. Jade at least experiencing some luck of the draw, this could have been a VERY tough prospect if she'd entered second or third. COACH She's still got some work to do though. Melody's time's running out, but there's still Megan and there's still Lorelei. With Jade and Lorelei looking on, Megan faces up to Melody. The two recent rivals in both management and in-ring action exchange some words, or in Melody's case some e-words, which are more acronyms than words really. They're also kinda confusing, which allows Melody to get the first shot in on Megan. The two exchange forearm for forearm until Megan gets in a good one and forces Melody back a step. Megan then swings with a punch, but Melody ducks it and hooks hold of Skye's arms, setting her up for the Backslide Driv... NO. Megan squirms free and shoves Melody into the ropes. A baseball slide puts Melody through her opponent's legs, but a mule kick catches her once she's back up. COLE Megan so dangerous with her hands and her feet with that kickboxing background. Turning Melody around Megan looks to take her up for a back suplex, but Melody floats all the way over and lands on her feet. Megan throws a clothesline, but Melody rolls underneath it, Lara Croft style. On one knee, Melody then catches Megan with a Claude Van Damme esque punch to the stomach! COACH I guess that'd be Melody's nerd-fu background? Melody stays frozen in position after her punch, but her tribute to any bad kung-fu B-movie doesn't pay, as Megan shrugs off the effects of the punch with Melody still in mid-pose... AND KICKS HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HA-HA! You have much to learn, young grasshopper. Cover by Megan... 1... 2... NO! COLE Give Melody credit though, showing plenty of resiliance to kick out. Throwing Melody into a corner, Megan climbs to the middle rope. With her left leg on the rope, she places her right across the side of Melody's head and starts to SCRAPE the sole of her boot across the Game Genie's face repeatedly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." Megan steps off the ropes with her hands innocently over her head. COLE We've seen Megan do that before and it always makes you cringe. Melody sits in the corner clutching her face and Megan hits her across the midsection with a hard kick. Pulling her to her feet, Megan puts Melody's face into the top turnbuckle and then backs away across the ring, charging in with a corner elbow smash. As Melody falls to her knees Megan steps right over her to the middle rope and waves her opponent up. COACH Tornado DDT, coming up. Jade instinctively tries to warn her friend as Megan lies in wait. To her feet, Melody looks dazed and starts to stagger towards Megan... but suddenly springs to life... MELODY SHORYUKEN~! ...but Megan DODGES THE LEAPING PALM STRIKE!! COLE Megan had it scouted! As Melody lands, Megan comes off the middle rope with a clothesline right to the back of the head! Melody's face skids off the canvas and she looks to be out of it as Megan flips her over and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Four weeks ago Megan tasted that palm strike and this time she was ready. But still, not able to finish Melody off just yet! "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" The Detroit crowd get behind Mellow Yellow. But Megan looks to silence them, lining up the CHICK KIC... ...DUCKED! Melody again hooks up for a backslide, but Megan turns free and sends Melody into the ropes. She then ducks her head for a backdrop, but pays the price as Melody places the knee AND PULLS MEGAN DOWN WITH THAT JUST HAPPENED!! COLE Out of nowhere, she got her! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Three straight for Melody Nerdly! BUFFER MEGAN SKYE has been ELIMINATED! Despite getting the fall Melody stays down suffering from her efforts so far. As Megan is rolled out of the ring, attentions then turn to the outside. And to a roaring response from the crowd it's JADE who is motioned into the ring. COLE Wow, how about this! The Women's Champion is in and she's in against her best friend Melody, who's just picked up three straight victories and is really rolling so far. How ironic would it be if Melody were to pin Jade and be responsible for her losing the Women's Title? COACH Hey I'd like to see it. Either way, this sets things up perfectly for Lorelei. Fantastic. Jade is understandably cautious about getting the fall underway and instead checks to see if Melody is okay. She insists she is and accepts Jade's help to get to her feet. The two friends soon realise they're opponents though, which neither seems all that comfortable with. Robinson signals for them to compete and Lorelei DEMANDS they do, eager to see her two potential opponents tear each other apart. Not looking sure what to do, Jade looks around the fans who are urging her on. And eventually she and Melody slap hands in a sign of respect before circling around the ring. COLE Alright we're going to see it. Looking weary, Melody goes for the quick victory as she surprises Jade with a leg trip and stacks her on her shoulders... 1... 2... No! Back up and Melody goes for a schoolgirl... 1... 2... No! Trying to fend off her high-energy challenger Jade finds herself retreating and doesn't want to get cornered, so lashes out with a forearm. She catches Melody perfectly and after all the shots she's taken already, Melody hits the mat, to Jade's initial shock. COLE Jade is clearly not comfortable fighting her friend here. COACH She'd better get comfortable with it and quick. If she loses the Women's Title, Krista won't be happy. If she loses it and the expence of friendship, how pissed is Krista gonna be!? Jade looks apologetic as Melody recovers, but realises she has to stay on her opponent, friend or not. Even so, she's hesitant as she executes a DDT. Cover by Jade... 1... 2... No! After helping Melody up the Women's Champion hooks her up for another DDT. Melody lands a shot to the gut though. And a second. After two "OW"s Jade strikes back with a shot to Melody's back just out of irritance. But Melody suddenly shrugs Jade off of her, then WALLOPS her in the face with a Big Boot! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Doesn't look like Melody's got too many problems fighting a friend. She's sneaky, see. Just ask Maggie. If it weren't for her, she and Leon would still be together and that's fact. COLE You've changed your tune. Melody makes the pin... 1... 2... NO! The Detroit fans applaud Jade, getting to her feet nursing her jaw. Melody takes a hold of an arm and looks for an irish whip, but Jade reverses. Into the turnbuckles goes Melody and Jade proves she's Always Thinking Of The Little People by using Leon's double knees in the corner! Jade rubs her jaw again as she sets her opponent up on the turnbuckles. The Women's Champion turns her back trying to grab hold of the arms. Melody fights her off though and delivers a slightly comical but nonetheless effective tomahawk chop across the top of the head. COLE There's more of that... unorthodox offence. Jade lets out another "OW" and holds her head. Adjusting her feet, Melody comes off the middle rope with a sunset flip attempt... but Jade hooks the legs and drops to her knees to counter... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Got her, great counter move! BUFFER MELODY NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! With another apologetic look, Jade makes no celebration and instead helps Melody up as she looks hopefully at the referee. It's all cool between the two though, nice and understanding. Unfortunately, it's all broken up by Lorelei DeCenzo, who barges Jade from behind, causing her and Melody to clock heads! COLE Hey, come on! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei dumps Melody out of the ring, then stomps away on Jade to sounds of derision. COLE Well we're now down to two, Jade Rodez-Duncan the Women's Champion and Lorelei DeCenzo. This New Year's Knockout is now for all intents and purposes a regular one fall Women's Title match, except for the few minutes Jade was in with Melody. That and the sneak attack from Lorelei. A confident look appears on Lorelei's face as the referee breaks up her attack and gives her a warning. Once that's shrugged off, Lorelei pounces on Jade by pinning her in the corner and putting the Tramp Stamp on her with shoulder thrusts into the kidney area. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Lorelei backs off long enough to appease the referee again, then drags Jade out of the corner. Two clubbing shots to the back leave Jade hurting, allowing Lori to come off the ropes and ram a knee into the lower back. As Jade goes down, Lorelei pounces again as she applies a Camel Clutch. COLE The ruthless Money Honey in aggressive mood tonight. COACH She knows Jade can be intimidated and overwhelmed. So that's exactly what she's gonna do. The support of the crowd wills Jade to fight the Camel Clutch and she starts to push up. Lorelei cuts her off with a stomp to the back though. Flipping Jade onto her back Lorelei then drops the Moneymoon across the chest and demands a count... 1... 2... Jade kicks out! But as soon as she does, the Camel Clutch is re-applied by the relentless Lorelei! COLE Again focusing on the back, just trying to pick apart Jade. But we know by now from everything she went through last year, Jade is made of tough stuff. COACH Bones are made of pretty tough stuff too. They still break. Observe. Refusing to give in Jade tries to fight again, the crowd instantly getting behind her. COLE And this crowd solidly in Jade's corner. COACH They do realise she doesn't live here anymore, don't they? COLE Hey, when you spend all season supporting the Lions, you take what you can get I suppose. COACH When you're making Jade look like a hope for your city, you know you suck. Jade struggles her way to her knees and forces Lorelei to release the hold, jamming her knee into the small of Jade's back again. Scoop and a slam follows. Pitching up next to Jade, Lorelei infuriates the Detroit fans by digging a grave for their hero, then goes so far as to SPIT on the imaginary grave, before she drops the leg. COLE Gold Digger, and the cover... 1... 2... No! Bearhug is applied from Lorelei this time as Jade starts to try and get back up. Lorelei applies the hold from the side putting the squeeze on the ribs and leaving the hurting Women's Champion slumped over, energy being sapped. There's still no quit in Jade yet though. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" With Jade starting to struggle, Lorelei again looks to cut her off before she can mount a comeback. She runs Jade back into the turnbuckles before re-applying her bearhug again. Jade cringes and slumps again for a few seconds, before getting another surge. Lorelei feels it and goes to run Jade in again, but Jade turns it so that Lorelei ends up hitting the turnbuckles instead. And with Lorelei momentarily stunned, Jade comes to life with a sudden flurry of wild punches!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" After taking a half dozen shots, Lorelei manages to cut Jade off by elbowing her in the midsection. Lori then grabs the hem of Jade's cheerleader skirt and yanks her forward into a sternum first collision with the turnbuckles. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei pulls Jade down across a knee, then hooks her up for a cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE I have to say, Lorelei is looking dominant so far. But so many times we've seen Jade in seemingly dire situations and come back. And it's that fire and that heart and that desire that's won over the OAOAST Marks, not just in Detroit or LA, but around the world. Picking Jade up, Lorelei clubs her in the back and then puts the badmouth on her. Which proves a mistake, as when Lorelei pulls her up again she gets SOCKED in the mouth with a hard slap! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" As Lorelei shakes it off and looks for some payback, Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Lorelei down with a big clothesline! COLE And here... comes... Jade! Shaken up, Lorelei walks right into a forearm strike. A second. And a third. Jade whips her into a corner and delivers the Rodez favourite DOUBLE KNEES in the turnbuckles! Getting a run-up, Jade then delivers a second dose of DOUBLE KNEES! The crowd are fired up and so too is Jade, growling under her breath as she lines Lorelei up for a THIRD DOUBLE KNEES~! COLE Lorelei has woken something up inside of Jade and now she's paying the price! COACH No no, come on Lori. These Duncans can't keep doing this. As Lorelei stumbles out of the corner she swings weakly with a clothesline attempt, which Jade ducks. Hooking onto Lorelei's arm she applies a cobra clutch and brings her down across the knee with a backbreaker! Leg hook... 1... 2... NO! COLE The newly renamed Lorelei getting an Extreme Hollywood Makeover to go with her new moniker. COACH But she kicked out. How about putting over Lorelei's heart, huh? How about talking about her resiliance? No? COLE The only way I'd describe Lorelei's heart is black. Rolling away from Jade, Lorelei is suddenly struck by forgiveness and tries to beg off from Jade. Jade is not so forgiving, but referee Robinson blocks her path as Lorelei is in between the ropes. The distraction is all Lorelei needs, lunging forward and clipping Jade with a punch to the stomach. The fans boo as their girl lurches forward in pain. After a tap of the brain to show she's smart, Lorelei then hooks Jade up in a uranage, lifting her up only to bring her forward with a gutbuster! COLE A cheapshot and Lorelei back to the ribs again, is she going to steal this one? Lorelei covers... 1... 2... NO!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Lorelei drags Jade up by the hair. Another uranage sets up another gutbuster, again knocking the wind out of Jade! COLE Ungh, another one! And Jade is hurting this time. COACH New Champion Cole. Cover is made... 1... 2... NO!! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" With a handful of hair again Lorelei stops momentarily to look at the crowd, then makes her point by slapping Jade across the top of the head. And a second time. Jade is too hurt to do anything about the abuse and sensing this, Lorelei lets her go and starts to join the fans in willing her back up with some mocking clapping. COLE Oh, Lorelei is just so arrogant, so disrespectful. COACH She's rich, she can be whatever she wants. And she's also seconds away from becoming the Women's Champion, which is going to make her even richer! Jade fights back to her feet thanks to the support of the fans and not the faux-support of Lorelei. As soon as she's up, Lorelei forgets the mocking and goes in for the kill as she sets Jade up in a uranage again. And after a last insulting word in the ear The Money Honey takes Jade up and brings her do... NO!! JADE COUNTERS WITH A DDT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Third time was NOT the charm! Both women are back to their feet quickly but both look unsteady. Jade has to use the ropes to pull herself up and breathes heavily resting up against the turnbuckles. Shaking out the cobwebs, Lorelei scowls at the pain the DDT's caused her but still has the energy to charge in... ...but Jade manages to glance behind her, spotting Lorelei coming, in time to step off the bottom rope and float up and over the top! Lorelei hits the turnbuckles chest first and then falls prey to the REVERSE X-FACTOR OUT OF NOWHERE!! COLE GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA, CONNECTS! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE AND JADE SURVIVES THE NEW YEAR'S KNOCKOUT!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Rolling to her feet, Jade looks surprised for a second before jumping to her feet in celebration. The Detroit crowd go wild for Jade as the Women's Title is passed her way, while Lorelei rolls out of the ring a defeated woman. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, LORELEI DECENZO is the final competitor eliminated... your winner of the New Year's Knockout and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJJJAAAAAADDEEEE... RRRRROOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE She's done it again Coach. Jade just keeps on proving the doubters wrong, keeps on finding that will to win and remains the Women's Champion! What a start to 2009 it's been after such a rough and volatile 2008. COACH I don't know how she keeps doing it. All I know is I don't like it. Jade climbs the turnbuckles with the Women's Title raised high overhead for her fans. At the foot of the ramp, Lorelei takes a look back and it's far from a happy one, pointing a finger as Jade continues her celebrations. Punching her fists into the air the Women's Champion invites Lorelei to come back into the ring since she's got so much to say, but The Money Honey declines, leaving Jade to stand tall. COLE Emotional scenes here in Detroit as Jade retains her Women's Title in front of this capacity crowd. Will we see similar scenes later tonight when the World Heavyweight Champion, Leon Rodez, defends his title for the very first time here in his hometown? Standing by our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is with the World Champion. We cut to the New Year's Spectacular interview area, where Leon looks on with pride at the scene unfolding in the ring. Once he realises the camera is on him he soon perks up though, fixing his best on-camera smile and making sure his World Title belt is well in shot. MATTHEWS Victory for one Rodez here in the Motor City, but will the same be said for the other Rodez when tonight is over? Leon, you're going to be defending your World Title for the first time in a matter of minutes. And this must be a special night for you. LEON Special night is putting mildly Josh. This is the night I've been dreaming about my whole entire career. Think about it. New World Heavyweight Champion. First title defence. Hometown crowd in my corner. Big welcome when I come out the curtain. Huge support once the bell rings. Spotlight on bright. It's all set up perfectly for me to go out there and show the world just why I'm the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion by defeating the... uhm... sorry, but, who am I facing again? MATTHEWS Uhm... well... LEON Doesn't matter. Because this... Leon makes the Detroit 'pointing to the spot on his palm' sign. LEON This is all that matters. Whoever Josie's got lined up for this first defence is going to be behind the eight ball the moment they step in the ring, because I'm home. Detroit. Home of the great car manufacturers of these United States. Home of the record breaking Detroit Lions! MATTHEWS ...uhm... you mean the 0-16 Detroit Lions? LEON Record breaking! After a nervous laugh, Leon just sighs. LEON But anyway, that's not important either. What's important is, Detroit's up 1-0 so far tonight, albeit by way of LA. And I'm fully intending on making it 2-0 and by the time tonight's up. Leon pats Josh on the back as he exits.