Tony149

I don’t know about the others, but I still follow the happenings on SYN and was quite surprised to see a title change. Speaking of which, it’s caused friction in the ranks of CI. Maddix forced to lay down the law. Maddix/Blonde vs. CAE: Heck of a match with all hell breaking loose at the end. Who remembers Melody used to manage Baron Windels? at the CAE/Melody pre-match promo and Coach confusing the Nerdly girls again. Big match announced for Thanksgiving HD. With injuries and tension affecting the other stables you have to say the DA is currently the most dominate fraction in the OAOAST. Street Fight preview: Malaysia is awesome. The confrontation between Ragdoll & Sophie was intense. TK vs. DS: Shocking result; thought for sure this was going to be a showcase for TK. The Love Shack was tremendous. PR was fantastic in his role here. MD vs. KID: OMG! MD’s new song is the best thing ever. I couldn’t stop laughing read that. As for the match, it was the usual goodness from POG. The spot with the 5 year old girl was so wrong yet so hilarious. MOTN: MD vs. KID Quote: “You've dated a glue sniffing Spanish Barbie Doll and feuded with her bull dyke girlfriend. You've competed in really weird and sometimes funny matches, whoopie. You've teamed up with your sister who is really your niece and her boyband tag team, who by the way, I HAVE BEATEN in the past, thank you very much! You've managed to sleep your way through 3/8s of the entire Nerdly family! And you've joined up with Zack Malibu, Bohemoth and Sly Sommers to reform a group whose peak was SIX YEARS AGO! THAT'S IT!” -- Tha Puerto Rican

Patty Rule in effect. Backstage, Malaysia and an itchy Mr. Dick wander in search of the trainer’s room, passing various individuals (none of whom important or they’d be name!) stifling their laughter along the way. COACH Look at those idiots laughing at another person’s misfortunes, Cole. COLE Maybe if your boy wasn’t such a dick they wouldn‘t be. Inside the trainer’s room they find Drs. Max Anderson and Steven Pigley, The Love Doctors. MR. DICK Did you see the video? PIGLEY Yep. MR. DICK So I guess you know why I’m here. ANDERSON To say hello? MR. DICK No, you sarcastic bastard. I need you to subscribe something for my problem. ANDERSON Not with that kind of attitude. MR. DICK Wait a minute. Doctors aren’t supposed to let their personal beliefs get in the way of doing their job. PIGLEY We also don’t go around handing out prescriptions like candy either. I mean, what if a guy wanted somas when a little Tylenol PM would do? MR. DICK (sigh) Are you gonna help me get rid of these creepy crawlers or not? ANDERSON My God, man, you mean you haven’t gotten that taken care of yet? MR. DICK And pay out the urethra?! Do you know how much it costs to see a doctor?! ANDERSON Yeah, we’re doctors. PIGLEY And I also moonlight as a Chicago radio personality. Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio! MR. DICK (cupping ear) Hey, you guys hear that? The Doctors of Doctornomics lean in for a listen… * WHAP * …and get smacked across the face! MR. DICK That’s the sound of my patience wearing off. MD sends the license M.D. Pigley flying across the trainer’s table while Malaysia GORILLA PRESSES Anderson onto the table itself! COLE Hey, come on! That’s uncalled for! COACH No, that’s what they get for jerking Mr. Dick around. SKIT 2 To the back we go, where Mr. Dick continues his race for a cure. This time he encounters “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Rio de Janerio, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. RICO Hey, mang. Check who it is. The Dick who talked smack about us last week. SOUL Oh, yeah. Skinny black dude and fat Brazilian, wasn’t it? I remember hearing a little something-something ‘bout that. MR. DICK I meant that with all due respect. See, like Mr. Dick, you guys have had your fair share of run-ins with Krista. You know how it is facing that bitch. RICO That chica is like a pitbull, mang. Once she sinks her teeth into you it’s over. MR. DICK And that’s why I’m here. She took a bite out of my dick and I need… SOUL Say no more, brother. You’ve come to the right place. Sweetness got yo fix covered. Name it and we got it. Embarrassed by his problem Mr. Dick whispers his need and the Soul Man jumps back aghast. SOUL Whoa, brother, we ain’t got that. MR. DICK I thought you said… SOUL Not if it’s legal we don’t. But I tell you what, baby. We sympathize with your plight. So here’s the name of a couple of mofos that might be able to help. Now they be a little freaky and shit, but they should be able to provide some relief. MR. DICK I can handle freaky. Soul hands MD a piece of paper and the Human Hard On rushes to his next destination as the MGHWC go back to chilling in the corner. MD AIN’T AFRAID OF NO GHOST Note to Patty: This is to go before the match. So it'd be this segment, commercial, and then the match itself. If not just change Cole's line at the end. We rejoin the adventures of Mr. Dick already in progress, as he and Malaysia arrive at the dressing room of the men “Sweet” Lucius Soul recommended. The door swings open and a cloud of smoke is released. COACH Sweet Lu wasn’t lying, Cole. This is some freaky business. As the smoke disperses two figures begin to appear in the shadows. LOS CONQUISTADORS! Dancing to tribal music they circle Mr. Dick counter clock wise shaking an officially license OAOAST figure of Krista at his crotch. COLE What in the world? Mr. Dick’s suffering from pubic lice not a hex. A ball of fire shoots out of nowhere and the music stops. MR. DICK (laughs) I think you guys burned the little bastards! MD checks his short shorts and freaks. MR. DICK You idiots! You shrunk my dick! CONQUISTADORS :huh: MALAYSIA :o Suddenly the door opens and in walks OAOAST agent/interviewer Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Mr. Dick, you’re on in 5. MR. DICK But I’m dealing with a medical emergency! TAYLOR No, I’m afraid that’s just an inconvenience. Let’s move it. MD and Malaysia scurry off. The Human Hard On still itchy. TAYLOR (to Conquistadors) By the way, fellas, we fixed that thermostat problem. You won’t be freezing in here anymore. COACH Oh, thank goodness. Mr. Dick was only affected by the cold. But he’s still gonna have to fight Krista partially handicap! COLE And that match is next!

Tremendous opening segment. Loved the rants by Moneymaker, Mackie and MD, and the Hogan music video. Believe it or not, except for a .gif of Hogan playing the guitar I had never seen the video before. Classic ‘80s. Interesting segments throughout the night with Alf/Sandman and members of other stables. LKOS vs. Tim Cash: Somebody must be in line for a push! at Tim more concerned about his opponents welfare than excited about the W. It’s hard being OAOAST President. Josie’s got a lot of tough issues to deal with. PATD & KP vs. Los Diablos de Fuego & Deuce Deuce Bigelow: Has it really been 2 years KP has been out? Only seems like a few months to be honest. In any event, enjoyable match. Zack saved by the Notorious KID? Didn’t think I’d ever see that. I kind of half expected Krista to clean Alison up a bit after throwing her onto the catering table. Cute little segment with Maya and Jade. SR vs. Shayne: SR with the ultimate heel move prior to the match, tearing up a girl’s poster and letting her know Santa isn’t real! The bit with Los Conquistadors and the stagehand reminds me of a video I saw online of a Papa Shango match where you can’t see the ring attendant place a lit piece of match paper on a jobber’s hand. And a week after Charles Robinson got used in almost half the matches, he only makes one appearance this week! All the Nerdlys names beginning with an M is the greatest unintentional running gag in history. And that segment with the IC is what makes them cool; just shooting the breeze and ribbing each other. Reject/TK vs. Leon/PR: I won’t lie. I feared a title change here. Thought we might see the old feuding partners become champs thing. But what an ending to a great match. Makes you wonder: did Leon really intend to hit PR or not? Oh the drama! MOTN: Reject/TK vs. Leon/PR & PATD & KP vs. Los Diablos de Fuego & Deuce Deuce Bigelow (yeah, co-winners) Quote of the Show: “Yep, everything's finally going my way. And I owe it all to casual sex!” -- Leon Rodez Honorable mention to: “Landon, when you’re fifty years old and the SWF is drawing crowds of 15 and President Maya Duncan-Blanchard-Effron decides that the thirty-dollar profit you made running a show in a Hobo encampment is too much, and decides to hit you with a 45% tax to give some crackhead with a penis addiction a welfare check, you’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me!” -- Theodore Moneymaker

Show's up in HE. Left spaces for Rodez/Black and the ME.

Here’s the rest of my feedback. I also noticed Charles Robinson appears to be our referee of choice. He almost got used in half our matches had I not written him out of the 4 way tag in favor of Clem. Black vs. Rodez: Excellent back and forth counter. What can I say, I suck leaving feedback! 5 man prism: Writing intros can be a pain in the ass. But what a match this was. MOTY candidate IMO. Overall, strong show.

Heartland Halloween Hootenanny: Fun opener. Awesome beyond words. The bit with TT and MISTER Warrior had me LMAO. CW vs. BW: Tough loss for BW after it seemed like he had it won. Strong exchange between Zack and Moneymaker. MD/Malaysia vs. Krista/Jade: Titty twister~! Had a blast reading this match. Middle School Musical was goddamn hilarious. Alix going off on her mother and then without missing a beat asking the kids to vote Maya was priceless. Plus you can’t go wrong with the Ghostbusters theme. I wonder if given a choice, do you think Terry Taylor would much rather be remembered as the object of Krista/COD's jokes or the Red Rooster. I mean, bound and gagged or this. You decide. For the longest of time I thought Zack had beaten Alf for one of his title reigns. As it turns out, they’ve only met once on a now defunct PPV (Ashes II Ashes, which we dropped after learning it was an SWF event) during Alf‘s first reign. Their segment has me wanting to see another go between the two. DS vs. Sandman9000: After winning the opener I thought DS might get the title here, but SM was too much at the end. Truth be told about the 4 way tag match, I actually stopped in the middle of the match to rewrite the entire thing a couple of days before the show. Hated what I originally had and scrapped it completely. Grey vs. Ragdoll: The ending had me fooled. Thought for sure we’d have a title change. CMJ was badass at the end doing whatever the hell wanted, stealing the IC title. Match of the Night: Mr. Dick & Malaysia vs. the Duncan Girls Quote of the Show: “GOD DAMN, YOU ASSHOLE! You ever heard of FUCKING LISTERINE?” -- Tony Tourettes

DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY Alfdogg King Cucaracha Tony149 Dr. Zoidberg Patty O'Green Zack Malibu Ed Wood Caulfield GRAPHICS Patty O'Green OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved.

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! Because this is so much better than any opening I or someone else could possibly write. Hell, just imagine tonight's card at the end for added effect! We fade in on a sold out, not to mention rabid crowd inside American Airlines Arena, leaves falling from the ceiling. HAPPY HALLOWEEN (SPECTACULAR) Miami, Florida LIVE! Up the headstone decorated aisle we go where such names as MARIO, PANTHER, NORTHSTAR and THE INTENSE ZONE are remembered for eternity. We stop at the entryway for a blast of pyro that luckily doesn’t light the toilet papered tree props on fire! We swoop over to Sofa Central to find…BARACK OBAMA and JOHN MCCAIN!? Yes indeed, as America’s favorite broadcast team dress up for Halloween as the two U.S. presidential candidates, although not in the roles you’d expect with Cole as Obama and Coach as McCain. COLE The OAOAST reminds you to go out and vote on election day as we welcome you to the 2008 Halloween Spectacular! And Happy Halloween, fans. Michael Cole alongside The Coach, and what a treat we have for you this evening. 9 matches in total, including 4 title defenses, and it doesn’t get bigger than our 2 World title bouts, Coach. COACH First of all, I'm disappointed you went back on your promise to dress like Sarah Palin. But yeah, Cucaracha Internacional, the Enterprise, In Crowd and Deadly Alliance will all have representatives in a Fatal 4 Way for the One & Only World tag team titles. Then in our main event, a 5 man prism elimination match for the OAOAST Championship, as Alfdogg, Bohemoth, Brickston and Landon Maddix challenge Tha Puerto Rican. COLE And let us not forget the winner of that match faces either Leon Rodez or Nathaniel Black for the title at our next pay-per-view extravaganza November Reign! But folks, earlier today, the Heartland Halloween Hootenanny took place at Busch Gardens Europe in Williamsburg, Virginia, at the Howl-O-Scream exhibit! The participants were as follows: The Can-Jam Connection of "After Hours" Felix Strutter, Denzel Spencer, and Reggie Lamont, Panic at the Disco, along with their bouncer, Ken Pantera, The Birmingham Bad Boy, Jamie O'Hara, Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, "Cash Money" Curtis Black, and some tag teams to round out the field, Los Conquistadors, Los Diablos de Fuego, and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Let's take you to the footage! Cut to the exhibit, and various cut shots of the participants. Jumbo and Deuce are sitting at a concession stand in the Italy exhibit, splitting a pizza. COLE Jumbo and Deuce enjoying their pre-match meal! Meanwhile, in the Germany exhibit, Vinny Valentine, Biff Atlas, and Ken Pantera have set out a table and are playing cards, while Tony Tourettes can be seen playing pinball in the background. Vinny jumps startled at a loud banging sound. TONY MY ASS! I GOT YOUR FUCKING "TILT" RIGHT HERE, BITCH! Tony grabs the front two legs of the pinball machine and starts to lift it, before Vinny, Biff and Ken cool him down. Meanwhile, in the France exhibit, Los Diablos de Fuego are shopping for souvenirs, as the loud speakers come on all over the park. ANNOUNCER Attention participants: It is now time for the Heartland Halloween Hootenanny to begin! *DING DING DING* As the bell rings throughout the park, the Diablos are met by the MCHG! COLE And here we go! Lucius and Mariachi hammer away on each other, and go tumbling into the shelves, as Moracca grabs a witches' broom off the shelf, and breaks it over the back of Rico! COLE A tag team war in France, as Los Diablos going at it with the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Meanwhile, in the Scotland region, Los Conquistadors are doubling up on "Cash Money" Curtis Black, when suddenly Black Sweat begins to play over the loudspeakers in the park. COACH Oh, no! Los Conquistadors look around the park, as the camera cuts around, then catches MISTER Warrior on a long shot, charging out of the gate from the Ireland exhibit, then making a right turn, and flooring both Conquistadors with a double clothesline! COLE Busch Gardens Europe is experiencing DESTRUCTICITY~! MISTER WARRIOR pounds on his chest, then runs to the railroad track and hops onto the train, and the camera watches as he rides off into the distance. COACH Is that goofball in this match? COLE Does it really matter? Meanwhile, we cut back to Germany, where a huge brawl has broken out in the bumper car lot, featuring Panic at the Disco and the Can-Jam Connection. COACH Look, bumper cars! Denzel and Felix duke it out with Vinny and Biff, while Pantera hammers away on Reggie. Pantera scoops up Reggie and executes a rib-breaker, then makes his way over to the controls, and after some fiddling, starts up the bumper car lot! COLE And Ken Pantera has got the bumper cars running here! Pantera flattens a park employee with a forearm to the face as he approaches him attempting to stop him, then makes his way back over to Reggie, choking him on the ground, as Vinny jumps into a bumper car. Tony Tourettes jumps into the seat next to him, as Vinny charges towards Reggie! COLE And Vinny's going to try to ram into Reggie here! However, just before he reaches him, Denzel charges over in a car of his own, and collides into Vinny and Tony! COLE A bumper car session has broken out here in this Heartland Hootenanny! Biff climbs into a car, but can't figure out the controls, and crashes into Vinny, as well! Tony jumps out of Vinny's car, and shoves Biff to the ground, then steals his car! COACH Uh oh, Tony not very happy with Biff's driving abilities! Tony proceeds to chase Biff around the lot in the bumper car, as Felix drags Vinny out of the lot. He hammers Vinny with right hand, but gets decked from behind by Pantera. COLE And now former tag team partners going at it! Jamie O'Hara is, fittingly enough, in the England exhibit, rummaging around in a cart of frozen Dots. COLE As we look at Jamie O'Hara searching around, let us remind you that the object here is to find the device which opens the front gate, then get it to the front gate, open it, and exit to win the match! COACH That's right, you can beat on your opponents as much as you want, but that won't win you the match! O'Hara makes his way over to another stand, but spots Uno coming towards him, and cuts him off with a right hand, then grabs a baby stroller and brings it down onto his back! The two attempt to choke one another, as we go back to Italy, where Pantera and Vinny have interrupted Deuce and Jumbo's meal, as Jumbo uses a piece of his pizza to rake the face of Vinny! COLE Well, there's an innovative use of the eye gouge! Deuce then grabs the pizza sheet and slams it into the head of Pantera! Biff starts to make his way over, then sees the food mess, and decides instead to search around. He walks into the restroom, and finds a broom, then uses it to tip over a trashcan, and moves the contents around in his search for the device. Biff then starts to leave the Italy exhibit heading north, and as he crosses the bridge, the train passes under, and Biff looks on as MISTER Warrior continues to ride around the park. COLE And there goes MISTER Warrior on the train! Biff looks on, then walks off, heading towards the Scotland exhibit. At that exhibit, we see Curtis Black and Lucius Soul hammering it out, and Lucius tries to get away, making his way to the Loch Ness Monster roller coaster! He makes his way into the control room and hits the switch to start the ride, then quickly jumps into the front car! COACH Only in the OAOAST, a roller coaster ride breaking out mid-match! Black manages to hop into the back car, with a cameraman in tow, as the cars go around the roller coaster! COLE And the cameraman getting some nice benifits in this one! The cars dip close to the water, then back up, eventually going through a cave, then come to a stop back at the start, as Lucius jumps out, then snatches the camera from the cameraman, and blasts Black over the head with it! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE And Cash Money just got walloped with that camera! Lucius then makes sure he's out of it, before rushing back inside and starting up the ride again! COLE And Black's going to take another ride here, while Lucius gets away! COACH That's nice strategy, Black won't be able to search for that switch in there! Meanwhile, back in France, Tony Tourettes is wandering aimlessly around the bathroom. COLE And there's Tony back in the France exhibit, I don't know if he's looking for the switch or what he's doing! COACH Well, Tony's not a part of this match officially, he was just kind of there with Panic at the Disco! Tony then leaves the bathroom, and walks over to the train station, getting onto the train, as MISTER Warrior is still riding. Warrior stands and grunts at him. TONY What the fuck you looking at? MISTER WARRIOR AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! TONY GOD DAMN, YOU ASSHOLE! You ever heard of FUCKING LISTERINE? MISTER WARRIOR AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! TONY AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! The train takes off, as Tony and MISTER Warrior continue to exchange "pleasantries." Meanwhile, Jumbo walks into the camera, eating a huge cream-filled eclair. COLE Jumbo's just here for the food, I think! Meanwhile, Jamie O'Hara and Rico de Janiero have taken their battle to the log flume! Both men exchange blows, with O'Hara getting the better of it, then scooping up Rico and slamming him into the log! O'Hara straps him down, and starts up the ride! COLE And now Rico going for a ride in the log flume! Meanwhile, Ken Pantera and Denzel Spencer do battle on the big bridge leading from Germany to Italy. Pantera hammers Spencer on the back, then lifts him for a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And Pantera...he looks like he's gonna toss him off the bridge! This can't happen! However, Reggie arrives on the scene, raking Pantera's eyes from behind. He and Denzel then floor Pantera with a double clothesline, and Denzel heads for Germany, while Reggie goes to Italy. Back in Scotland, Felix and Vinny continue their battle, as the train pulls up again. Vinny hops onto the train, and Felix follows, and the two slug it out as the train pulls off! The cameraman follows. COLE First the Loch Ness Monster, now we have a cameraman riding the train at Busch Gardens! The action is followed in the train, as Felix and Vinny slug it out, with MISTER Warrior standing in the background posing. Tony makes the stupid mistake of jumping out of the train as it's moving, and the cameraman watches him roll on impact towards Italy. COACH Look, there goes Tony! Meanwhile, in Ireland, Deuce and Dos do battle inside a restaurant! Deuce scoops up Dos, and bodyslams him through a table! After he does this, Uno shows up and jumps on the back of Deuce. Jumbo then emerges from the kitchen, carrying a beer mug and a baked potato, then sets it down and attacks Uno. COACH Jeez, he just ate! A split-screen then comes up, with one side continuing on the action in Ireland, and the other side cutting to Germany, revealing Jamie O'Hara emerging from a carousel CARRYING THE SWITCH~! COLE And look, Jamie O'Hara has found the switch! COACH So the match is over, right? COLE No, it's not over, Coach, he has to take it to the front of the park, and use it to open the gate, then exit! And if you look at the map, you'll see that the gate is located in England! The loudspeakers come on. Attention participants: The switch has been found! It was located in the carousel in Germany! Biff Atlas comes out of nowhere, and grabs one of the support beams on the carousel, swinging around and catching O'Hara from behind with a kick, then grabs the switch! COLE And now Biff with the switch! Biff, doing his best Repo Man impersonation, clutches the switch to his midsection, then looks for a hiding place. COACH Biff trying to hide, and I don't blame him, those guys are all going to be heading his way now! Biff sneaks through the woods, and comes out by the big bridge. But as he does, he's walloped by a trash can from Mariachi, who grabs the switch and starts to make his way down the bridge! COLE Mariachi, one half of Los Diablos de Fuego, now in possession of the switch! On his way by, he stomps to kick at Ken Pantera, who makes his way to his feet, then kicks Mariachi in the gut, and grabs the switch, before CLOTHESLINING HIM OVER THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE INTO THE WATER~! COLE OH MY GOD~! Mariachi was just sent over the edge of the bridge, into the cold water several feet below! COACH Well, I'd have to say he's been eliminated from consideration! Pantera makes his way into Italy, and decides to stop in the restroom. COACH Piss break! Pantera stands in front of the urinal, setting the switch on the sink, while Denzel Spencer emerges from the stall, and smashes a snow globe over his head! Denzel then grabs his hair, and rams his head into the urinal, making sure he's out, before making off with the switch. He rushes over to the train station, and hops on the train. COACH Well, that was stupid, now he has to go all the way around the park! COLE Yeah, but now he can catch his wind, and he'll be closer to the exit when he gets off! Denzel rides all the way back around to Scotland, then gets off, making his way into England. He encounters Lucius Soul, and engages in a slugfest. He gets the better of the exchange, and drives a knee into the gut, then tosses him into a rack containing wheelchairs! COLE It looks like Denzel's gonna do it, Coach! No one else stands in his way! Denzel sees the gate, then re-attaches the button to the wall, and opens the gate, then walks out of the park! COLE That's it, the match is over! *DING DING DING* The loudspeaker comes on. The winner of the Heartland Halloween Hootenanny...DENZEL SPENCER! A referee awaits Denzel outside, and raises his hand. COLE Denzel Spencer your winner in the first-ever Heartland Halloween Hootenanny! What a match that was! As Denzel walks off, the camera cuts back to Sofa Central in the arena in Miami. COLE That of course was taped earlier today, Denzel Spencer here in Miami now, where later tonight, he will challenge Sandman9000 for the Heartland title, Coach! COACH Sounds to me like out of the frying pan and into the fryer! Denzel took advantage of an opportunity earlier today, but those tactics aren't going to cut it against Sandman! HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 5 man prism elimination OAOAST Championship match STILL TO COME!

Extra space if needed

*ENTRANCES* USE YOUR IMAGINATION! THEY ALL TELEPORTED INTO THE RING! THAT'S RIGHT! THEY ALL TELEPORTED INTO THE RING! BRICKSTON AND VITAMIN X, ALFDOGG, BOHEMOTH, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX AND MEGAN SKYE, AND THA PUERTO RICAN ALL TELEPORTED INTO THE RING LIKE IN STAR TREK! YEAH THAT'S THE TICKET! THEY ALL TELEPORTED! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion stands in the centre of the ring with the Title belt held for all to see, eyes darting to each corner occupied by one of his challengers. COLE Look at this, PRL showing no fear in the face of these odds, even DARING these four challengers to come and get him! VENTURA That's certainly a gutsy move. Maybe not too smart, but it's gutsy, you gotta give him that. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds the action begins as Maddix is the first to charge into PRL, or more specifically into PRL's cocked right hand! COLE Well Landon took the bait and it didn't work out so well! Picking himself up Landon shakes out the cobwebs. Brickston suddenly charges Bohemoth in his corner and Landon takes a detour to go where the going is good! With stomps and kicks they beat the bigman down in the turnbuckles, leaving Alf and PRL squaring up a little more cautiously in the middle of the ring. "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" Lock-up and Alfdogg grabs a quick World Champion in a side headlock. After working his way out PRL backs Alf into the ropes and shoots him off... Alf knocking Landon down with a shoulder block, as La Cucaracha is palmed into his path by Bohemoth. And the surprise on Alf's part allows PRL to sneak up and grab HIM in a headlock. Alf looks to fight his way out and does so, shooting PRL off... into a shoulder block by Brickston! The World Champion rolls away as Alf and Brickston lock eyes, then barrel towards each other with shoulder blocks, neither man able to knock the other off their feet. Again they try, but neither budges. Off the ropes, they collide a third time and stay upright, only for Bohemoth to charge out of the corner and knock them both down with dual shoulders!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA It's like a demolition derby in there with all these bodies! And it's the bigman Bohemoth coming out on top! Bo turns heel and charges, knocking Landon up and over the top rope with a big clothesline! The bigman then looks for stereo clotheslines on both Alfdogg and Brickston. They both duck though, grabbing Bohemoth on the way past and dumping him out of the ring with a thud on the arena floor. COLE Some impromptu teamwork from Alfdogg and Brickston, who just a couple of weeks ago were opponents on HeldDOWN~! As Alf dusts his hands, Brickston wheels him around and surprises him with a well-placed punch. VENTURA And what do you know, they're opponents again now. COLE Every man for himself in this elimination match, your main-event here at The Halloween Spectacular! Brickston follows Alf as he staggers back into a corner, driving his FISTS OF FURY~! into the body of the OAOAST Original. A headbutt then rocks Alfdogg. Over comes Tha Puerto Rican at this point, but the moment he lays his hands on Brickston he spins around and nails PRL with a hard right hand, dropping him much to Vitamin X's delight. Brickston then grabs a hold of Alfdogg, looking for an irish whip. A reversal sends Brickston across the ring instead, bouncing out of the far corner and into a hiptoss. Alf follows up with a snap suplex, then comes off the ropes... ...and gets tripped by Landon Maddix!! MADDIX The laughter doesn't last long for La Cucaracha, as Bohemoth rounds the ring and nails him with a running forearm to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE That was well earned. VENTURA There's nothing wrong with laughing at the misfortunes of others, Michael. Just not during a match like this. Sliding into the ring, Bohemoth lays into Alfdogg as he gets to his feet peppering him with right hands. As he does so, PRL goes on the attack on Brickston, delivering some shaky leg kicks as he gets to his feet. Tha Puerto Rican changes up to some left hands, seeing that brawling with Brickston isn't getting fast results and backing off the ropes. In an attempt to cut the World Champion off, Brickston charges forward, but PRL ducks underneath his clothesline. Off the far ropes, PRL then floats over Brickston with a sunset flip... 1... Brickston kicks out and rolls to his feet. Grabbing PR's legs, Brickston flips him over onto his front and APPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA He's got it! Brickston with that Anklelock slapped on the World Champion early! Could you imagine if the World Champion were the first to be eliminated!? Vitamin X starts to jump for joy on the arena floor and screams for PRL to tap, as Brickston twists away on the ankle. The battle continues between Bohemoth and Alfdogg, neither in a position to help, even if they wanted to. Which they probably wouldn't. With the crowd behind him PRL refuses to tap despite the pressure being applied to his ankle. Meanwhile, Landon Maddix re-enters the ring. Creeping up behind Brickston, he prepares to lower the boom... but thinks better of it and instead positions himself in front of PRL, preferring to taunt the World Champion! VENTURA Ha ha! No help for the World Champion! COLE Tha Puerto Rican's World Title reign is hanging in the balance already, can he hang on here? As PRL's hand starts to hover, Landon encourages him to tap. But PRL shakes his head and does indeed hang on. So Landon decides to drop down to the mat and taps PRL's hand into the mat for him, telling the referee to call for the bell, which of course he doesn't. VENTURA Come on, what's the deal, ring the bell already! COLE He didn't tap Jesse, at least not of his own accord. VENTURA You don't know that for sure. He could have been tapping after Landon had loosened his grip, tried to disguise it. He's sneaky like that you know. As Maddix gets into an argument with the referee PRL grits his teeth and pushes up on his hands, finding a counter as he tucks and rolls forwards! Brickston ends up colliding heads with Landon, who can't buy any luck so far as he ends up tumbling through the ropes and to the floor again. Brickston is rolled up meanwhile... 1... 2... No! Brickston trips up PRL and looks for the Anklelock again while it's working. This time PRL manages to kick Brickston off before the hold can be applied though. Dogged, Brickston targets the ankle again as soon as PRL is up. He picks a leg, only for PRL to plant the other in the thigh, pushing himself over the top with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! As Brickston charges in again PRL lifts him up and gives him an inverted atomic drop! As Brickston doubles up, PRL then whips Brickston into the far corner of the ring. Brickston hits the turnbuckles hard and the World Champion takes flight with his Stinger Splash... NOBODY HOME!! PRL LANDS HARD ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's no way to make that kind of landing pleasant! With PR laying hurt across the top turnbuckle, Brickston climbs onto the bottom rope and grabs PRL's ankle, APPLYING THE ANKLELOCK!! COLE What is this!? VENTURA It's the Anklelock, Michael! And it's serious pain for PRL! COLE Well it's all very well applying the move here, but he can't get a submission with PRL laying across the top rope can he!? VENTURA Hey, it's No DQs, you tell me. Apparently the referee seems to be telling Brickston as he tries to get him to break the hold. Vitamin X has other ideas though and orders Brickston to keep the hold on, yelling to his man that he can't be disqualified. PRL hangs over the ropes yelling in pain, until finally Brickston releases the hold, causing PRL to tumble over the top and out to the floor where he instantly clutches at his ankle. VENTURA No submission, but he might have put PRL out of this match in the longrun all the same. As Brickston steps off the bottom rope, he's instantly spun around, nailed with a right hand by Bohemoth. Brickston fires back with a right hand and a slugfest ensues between the powerhouses. Right hand by Bo. Right hand by Brickston. Right from Bo. Right from Brickston. Tired of exchanging punches though Bohemoth takes a quick step backwards and NAILS Brickston between the eyes with a boot! COLE Oh! What a shot that was! Away rolls Brickston, while Bo turns around and gets caught with a Hart Attack Clothesline from Alfdogg! Cover... 1... 2... No! Alf drills an elbow into Bo's neck, applying a front facelock. His hopes to neutralize the bigman fail though as Bohemoth climbs to his feet, going to the ribs with a right hand. And another. A big shove off sends Alf backpedaling into the ropes and when he rebounds back, Bohemoth looks for another big boot... DUCKED! Alf lies in wait for Bohemoth and fires the SUPERKI... NO! Bo catches the foot, throwing it down and mowing Alfdogg down with a clothesline! VENTURA Bohemoth is just all power, all the time. When he hits you, you stay hit as the saying goes. Rolling back into the ring, Landon prepares to strike... but Bohemoth sees him coming, sending Landon scurrying back out of the ring to safety! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh come on! VENTURA Hey, that's smart. No reason for him to be in the ring with elimination rules. COLE Yeah, especially with his luck so far tonight. Bohemoth is distracted by Landon's bailing act, allowing Brickston to sneak up behind him and attack. Now Landon rolls in and quickly wraps Alf up, applying a front facelock and locking on the Wet Cement, trying to choke Alf out! Above this, Brickston stoops down and tries to get Bohemoth onto his shoulders for the KILLSWITCH... NO! Bohemoth elbows Brickston in the side of the head until he's fought him off, then hits the ropes... ...only for Vitamin X to grab his ankle! COLE That's all we need! We've already got five men in the match and now Vitamin X is sticking his damn nose in where it doesn't belong! Kicking his way free, Bohemoth finally charges and looks for a Yakuza Kick. Brickston is prepared now though and ducks the boot, sweeping Bo's other leg out in the process. As Bohemoth hits the mat, Brickston then rolls up and applies the ANKLELOCK ON BO!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Submission hold applied, the Anklelock is locked in! VENTURA And Alf's in trouble with Maddix too, we could see a couple of eliminations right here. The referee hovers between Alfdogg and Bohemoth looking for tapouts. As Brickston wrenches on the ankle, Landon is forced to break his hold though, as Alfdogg manages to navigate one of his feet onto the bottom rope. VENTURA Alfdogg saves himself but Bohemoth's still in trouble here. Alf rolls out of the ring and Landon follows after him, leaving even less help for Bohemoth. The bigman pushes up and starts to try and crawl to the bottom rope with Brickston struggling to pull him back. Bohemoth suddenly stops though and Brickston applies the pressure, the referee looking for the tapout. Before Bo can think about giving though, in slides PRL. The World Champion sneaks up behind Brickston and leaps up, pulling him down with the Back Cracker!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Back Cracker from PR! VENTURA More like the Back Stabber from where I'm sitting. COLE Brickston's the one who turned his back on PRL as far as I'm concerned. VENTURA Boy, you sure have a selective memory when it comes to who you like and who you don't, huh? PRL rolls Brickston over and makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Climbing back up, PRL leaves the ring and heads for the top rope. Vitamin X sees the danger and runs around the ring to try and cut him off, leaping to the apron with the World Champion in his sights. But Tha Puerto Rican casually sticks out a leg and kicks The X-Man in the face, sending him spilling to the arena floor! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" PRL sneers down at Vitamin X, SPITTING at his former second in command before continuing his climb up the turnbuckles. There to meet him is Brickston however. He knocks PRL's feet out and scales to the middle turnbuckle, where he starts to deliver right hands. COLE Both men in a precarious position here on the turnbuckles. VENTURA This can't end well. After a fifth right hand leaves PRL rocking on the turnbuckles Brickston locks on a front facelock and starts to set him up for a Superplex. But PRL still has some fight left in him, jabbing at the midsection with shots. He fights Brickston off, beginning to land some shots to the head back at his challenger. But before Brickston can fall, he lands a headbutt and cuts Tha Puerto Rican off in mid-swing. Turning to the crowd, Brickston gives the signal that it's over and goes to hook PRL up again. As he does so though, Bohemoth steps back into the picture. Positioning himself under Brickston he scoops him off the ropes and carries him away from the corner, hands flailing as Bohemoth picks his spot and PLANTS him with a Powerbomb!!! VENTURA Wow! Tremendous power from The Meterosexual Monster! COLE And now, look at this! As Bohemoth stumbles away from the impact, Tha Puerto Rican brings the crowd to its feet as he starts to rise to his feet on the top rope. Peeling off his left elbow pad, PRL flings it away into the crowd. The World Champion then takes flight, giving Brickston the mid-air 'up yours' as he delivers The People's Elbow Drop from the heavens!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The elbow, driven right into the heart of Brickston! PRL reaches out and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, BRICKSTON has been ELIMINATED!! Just now pulling himself up on the outside, Vitamin X looks stunned for a second before turning around and slamming his hands across the announce table in frustration. COLE HEY! Get outta here already, your man is gone! VENTURA Brickston came out here tonight in full out attack mode and he just got caught in a bad position attacking the World Heavyweight Champion. Maybe too little caution shown, as he's now gone from this match and we're down to four. As Brickston is rolled out of the ring, PRL yells at Vitamin X and his man to "hit the bricks". Vitamin X is seething and thinks about jumping in to get his hands on his former leader, but referees quickly appear to guide he and Brickston to the back. The action continues on without him meanwhile, as PRL turns away to find himself confronted by The Meterosexual Monster. VENTURA Wow, look at this face-off! COLE No shortage of history between these two men, Tha Puerto Rican and Bohemoth. These two men waged unholy war last year inside Hell In A Cell and I'm sure that war between them will never be forgotten. Sizing up his huge opponent, Tha Puerto Rican carefully circles around the ring getting his head together. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "P - R - L!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "P - R - L!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "P - R - L!" Eventually PRL psyches himself up, slapping himself across the face and locking up with Bohemoth. After a short tussle Bohemoth just powers PRL to the mat though. Picking himself up, PRL is faced by Bohemoth clenching up his mighty muscles in an attempt to intimidate him. Tha Puerto Rican locks up with Bo again and puts up a better effort, but still ends up being thrown off his feet. VENTURA PRL simply can't match power with Bohemoth, no matter how hard or how often he tries. Looking a little lost PRL tries to figure out another tactic. As he moves in towards Bohemoth though, the bigman catches him with a quick boot and scoops him up over his shoulder looking for a big Powerslam. But PRL slips out the back, laying in wait for Bohemoth with the LATIN SLA... NO! Bo elbows PR hard to block, sending him staggering across the ring. As PRL winds up in a corner, Bohemoth follows with a big clothesline sandwiching him against the turnbuckles. Bo then comes off the ropes, charging at PRL as he staggers out of the corner... but PRL leaps up and catches Bohemoth with a surprise headscissors, dropping him throat-first across the middle rope! COLE Great counter-move by the World Champion there. VENTURA There was more than a hint of desperation about it though Michael. Bohemoth had PRL in trouble. As PRL gets to his feet, he doesn't have the time to follow up before Landon Maddix slides back in and blindsides him with a shot to the back of the head. Landon stomps away on PRL, while Alfdogg pulls himself back into the mix as well, running down the apron with a legdrop to the back of Bohemoth's head! VENTURA But don't forget about Alf and don't forget about Maddix! Alf re-enters the ring with a pin on Bo... 1... 2... No! Alf goes to work on Bohemoth, while Landon has PRL up and backed against the ropes. An Irish whip sets up the picture-perfect Dropsault, Landon landing on one knee with a catalogue pose~! VENTURA Ha ha! COLE What is he pointing at!? Landon's best audition for male modeling is cut short by Alfdogg, sneaking up behind Landon and pulling him down in a crucifix... 1... 2... No! Quickly up, Landon lands with a forearm. But Alf fires right back. Forearm by Landon. Forearm by Alf. That one staggers La Cucaracha and as he falls into a corner, Alf follows with hand brandished... ...but Landon BLOCKS the knifedge chop! And again! And again, throwing his forearms in front of his chest to thwart every attempted strike! Unable to get through the defences, Alf instead boots him in the gut before slamming the back of his head into the turnbuckles. But just as he gets opportunity to chop, Bohemoth attacks him from behind. COLE Looks like Landon's been working on protecting himself from those deadly Alfdogg chops. Which is a relief for everyone within earshot. Grabbing Alf's wrist, Bohemoth whips him to arm's length before pulling him back, causing him to collide with Landon in the corner! VENTURA Boy, Landon just cannot catch a break tonight! As Alf staggers out, Bohemoth whips him across the ring into the opposite corner. A big clothesline follows and down goes Alf. Hitting the ropes near the turnbuckles Bohemoth then powers back and almost kicks Alfdogg's face into the third row with the FACEWASH~!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth turns, looking to give Landon's face a little cleaning treatment too... ...but PRL cuts him off with the spinning kick to the face! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! VENTURA And Bohemoth didn't! Cover by PR... 1... 2... No! COLE You have to give credit to Tha Puerto Rican, he's certainly not shying away from the action. VENTURA No he's not. And it might come back to haunt him in the long-run. He's not going to win this match in the next five minutes unless he's very lucky, there's going to need to be something left in the tank for later if he's to leave with his Title. Helping Bohemoth to his feet, PRL looks to execute an Irish whip but struggles to move his larger opponent. Instead Bohemoth throws PRL to the ropes and delivers a clothesline! Bo then catches Maddix running towards him, taking him up and over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! The crowd cheer as Bohemoth stands tall. COLE Bohemoth is full of momentum here tonight, we may be looking at the next OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! VENTURA You might be right. It could take all three of these guys to take the monster out at this rate. And even that isn't working so well right now. As Landon staggers back to his feet, Bohemoth scoops him into his arms... ...but gets his knee clipped from the front by Alfdogg!! Bo falls forward with Maddix and ends up crushing him with a slam anyway, but rolls away clutching his knee. VENTURA That might hobble him a little though. Alf jumps over Bo to cover Landon... 1... 2... No! Leaving Landon behind Alf goes right back after Bohemoth, targeting the left knee. He drops an elbow to the inside of the joint, then a second. Pulling Bo over to the ropes, Alf then hangs the ankle on the bottom rope and drops all his weight crashing down across the leg! Holding his knee Bohemoth rolls under the bottom rope, so Alf gives him a kick, sending him crashing to the outside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Alf taunts the fans, unaware that Landon is closing in on him... ...or, maybe not... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX SUNNUVA!! Landon bails to the outside and curls up holding his chest. COLE Ouch! Landon didn't protect himself from that chop quite so well! That leaves Alf in the ring with PRL. Already halfway leaving the ring, Alf spots him getting to his feet and wags his finger to the crowd. Alf re-enters the ring, waving PRL up. A boot to the gut sets the World Champion up, Alf hooking him up and executing a Fisherman's Suplex, holding on with the bridge... 1... 2... NO! As PRL tries to get back up, Alf quickly traps him in a sleeper hold. VENTURA Only two! You just know Alfdogg would love to be the one to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican after everything that's happened these past few months. COLE He's certainly got something to prove in that regard. VENTURA How do you figure? COLE Well, he didn't get the job done cashing in his golden contract at AngleSlam... VENTURA He pinned PRL 1, 2, 3. COLE ... and he didn't get the job done last month at Zero Hour. VENTURA Yeah, thanks to a fluke roll-up. How can you say this man has anything to prove? He's one of the OAOAST’s all-time greats, he doesn't have to prove a damn thing! The sleeper starts to take it's toll on Tha Puerto Rican as his rise to his feet stops and he sinks back onto his BUTT. Alf sits on a knee behind him, leaning him forward to apply more pressure. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" The support of the Miami crowd starts to awake PRL from his daze though and up come his arms to show he's still conscious. With Alfdogg shaking his head PRL starts to try and climb to his feet, making it to one knee before firing off an elbow. Alf hangs onto the sleeper, so PR has to climb again, landing with a second elbow. Tha Puerto Rican then gets to his feet... so Alf lets go of the sleeper and delivers a knee to the ribs. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Irish whip sends PRL off the ropes, ducking underneath a back elbow. Coming back off the other side, PRL soars with a Flying Forearm, catching Alfdogg by surprise! The World Champion stays down recouping his energy for a moment... ...before suddenly kipping up! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Backing into a corner, Tha Puerto Rican raises the foot, ready to tune up the band. COLE Here we go, can you hear it? VENTURA Well I can see it. And it looks awfully familiar. *STOMP!* PRL waves Alfdogg up... *STOMP!* ...before planting into the mat face-first, tripped up by Landon Maddix... *CLUNK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND PULLED GROIN-FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!!! COLE UNGH! VENTURA I don't know about the heartbreak kid, I think something else was in danger of being broken right there. In the corner where PRL lays stricken, Landon begins to climb the turnbuckles. Alfdogg is now getting to his feet and Landon targets him with a double axehandle... but Alf is too far away and is able to catch Landon, throwing with an OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY~! Cover... 1... 2... No! Alf pulls Landon up and throws him face-first into the turnbuckles. He then spins Landon around, causing Megan to flinch in anticipation of... *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...the knifedge chop, and the resulting shriek of pain. *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Alfdogg delivers another chop, before asking the crowd if they want one more. A big roar of approval goes up from the crowd, drowning out Megan's pleading for him not to. Well, almost. Alfdogg seems to hear Megan and fakes Landon out on the chop, not giving the crowd what they want! Both Landon and Megan breathe a sigh of relief... until Alf gives Landon the old-fashioned 'pee-pee tag', causing him to double up in pain!! COLE I've been on the receiving end of that one too many times in my life. Not fun. With a big smirk on his face, Alf drags Landon out of the corner by the hair. Alf directs Landon towards the opposite corner of the ring and whips him across, looking to follow in... and taking a knee to the face! Despite the pain in his lower extremities, Landon quickly hops to the middle rope and takes off, catching Alf AND PLANTING HIM WITH A FLYING DDT!!! VENTURA WOW! Alf got stacked on that one! Maddix slowly turns Alf over and hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Picking himself back up, Landon performs a quick re-arrangement of his bits and pieces as he waits for Alf to get back up. Having jarred his neck on the DDT, Alf favours his head as he gets to his feet. Landon is waiting on him with a kick to the back of the leg. A kick lands to the other leg, before going back to the original with a third. As Alf falls to one knee, Maddix does a quick spin to create some space... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...and CRACKS Alfdogg in the head with a Superkick!! COLE Low Flying Superkick!! VENTURA From short range too, that had to scramble Alfdogg's brains, as if they weren't already! Staggering to his feet, Alf is on dream-street and walks right into Landon, hooking the head and delivering the COMPLETE SHOT!! Cover... 1... 2... NO!! COLE But Alfdogg still able to kick out! VENTURA We know Alf can take a hell of a lot of punishment, but there had to be a fair amount of instinct about that kickout. He's taken three hard shots to the head in the space of 20 seconds. He can't have all his wits about him at this moment, no way. Landon takes issue with the count briefly, before climbing back to his feet. He watches Alf trying to recover his bearings and crouches down, ready to put him to sleep. COLE Landon's setting him up for GTS, Jess! VENTURA And even Alfdogg is going to struggle to kick out after that. Watching Alf to his feet closely, Maddix grabs him and lifts him into the fireman's carry. He turns him away from the ropes, picking his spot... but gets a knee to the side of the head! And another! Landon staggers a little and tries to recover... but a third knee allows Alfdogg to slip to safety. Alf then shoves Landon in the back... ...right into Bohemoth, who rolls into the ring and the perfect time, scooping Maddix up and PLANTING him with the Front Spinebuster!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE DRILLED HIM! Still hobbling a little, Bohemoth limps away from Landon. Alfdogg tries to pounce, but Bohemoth is able to catch him with a hiptoss, SENDING ALF OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!! The Meterosexual Monster then turns his attentions back to Landon. He takes a look around the Miami crowd, watching them rise to their feet, knowing exactly what they wanna see. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE And the end could be near! Despite the warnings being yelled his way by Megan, Landon gets to his feet anyway in his groggy state. And he walks right into the firing line. Scooping Landon into his arms, Bohemoth parades his opponent around a little, as much as his weakened knee will let him, before swinging La Cucaracha around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! Leg hooked... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, LANDON MADDIX has been ELIMINATED!! Megan hangs her head, as Bohemoth hobbles back up and rolls the defeated Landon out of the ring. COLE Another Halloween night to forget for La Cucaracha! VENTURA You've got that right. Maddix might want to consider staying at home passing out candy next year, this ain't his time of year at all. COLE And that means we are down to three! Bohemoth, Alfdogg and the reigning World Champion Tha Puerto Rican! One of these three men will leave Miami as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Alfdogg rolls back into the ring, while Tha Puerto Rican gets up to a vertical base. Both men stare at Bohemoth, who stands in the center of the ring. Bohemoth eyes both opponents. PRL and Alfdogg glance at each other, and then glance at Bohemoth. COLE We’re down to 3 men. This would normally be considered a Triple Threat Match. VENTURA The same rules apply though. Do PRL and Alfdogg team up to take down the bigger Bohemoth, or do they all duke it out amongst themselves? COLE We’re getting down to the nitty gritty. Two more eliminations, and we will have ourselves a winner! All three men are hesitant to make a move. But then Alfdogg rushes forward and starts attacking Bohemoth! A slugfest erupts between the two men. Then, Tha Puerto Rican rushes in and starts attacking Bohemoth himself! COLE Look at that! Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg teaming up on Bohemoth! VENTURA You gotta do what you gotta do in this match to win, Michael Cole! Despite all of the shots, Bohemoth only goes down to one knee! Bohemoth quickly stands up and elbows PRL in the gut! But he walks right into an Alfdogg *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL grabs Bo and turns him around, nailing him with several Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Bohemoth doesn’t fall! Instead, he staggers right into another CHOP from Alfdogg! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE More unintentional double teaming from P.R. and Alfdogg! PRL grabs Bohemoth and punches him some more! Bo staggers right into ANOTHER Alfdogg chop which finally knocks him down! COLE Those chops are POWERFUL stuff, fans! VENTURA They’re the best in the business, Schiavone! Alfdogg stomps on Bohemoth on the mat. PRL watches on, breathing hard. After several stomps, PRL shoves Alf aside, and starts hitting Bo with his shaky leg kicks! Alfdogg doesn’t appreciate this, and he barges in on PRL’s stomping with some stomping of his own! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg are double teaming Bohemoth! Not out of love or respect, but simply to take down the biggest man in this contest! VENTURA And it is working, Cole! Bohemoth is down on the mat! Alfdogg tells PR to do a double team move. P.R. nods his head…and then charges forward, jumping onto Alfdogg’s shoulders and bringing him down with a hurricarana! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! Alfdogg gets back up, as does Tha Puerto Rican, and Tha Puerto Rican is ready, grabbing Alfdogg and rolling him up! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!! Alfdogg and PR get back up again. PRL charges forward, Alf goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks the clothesline, stops in his tracks behind Alfdogg, grabs Alfdogg’s sweatpants, and then rolls him up! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE P.R. looking to put Alfdogg away for the THIRD consecutive month in a row! VENTURA Notice how he’s trying to surprise Alfdogg again? It won’t work this time! Alf is READY for Tha Puerto Rican and anything that he’s got planned! PRL and Alf both get up, and it is Alf who strikes first, knocking PRL down with a clothesline! Bohemoth is back up and he attacks Alf with punches to the face! Once he’s got Alf good and dazed, Bo grabs PRL and whips him into the ropes. Bo follows with a shoulderblock that knocks PR down! Bo stomps on the P.R. Menace for a short time, but is soon grabbed by Alfdogg and hit with another knife-edged CHOP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Alf then nails Bo with a dropkick that sends the big man through the ropes and onto the floor! Bo is on his hands and knees on the outside, as Alfdogg picks Tha Puerto Rican up and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner. Alf starts hitting the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion with rights and lefts all over his body! Alf grabs PR by his left hand, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle--NO--PR reverses, Alf hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Alf staggers back out from the turnbuckle and gets hit with a clothesline from Tha Puerto Rican that turns him inside out! COLE And The Champ with a crucial clothesline! Bohemoth gets back into the ring, and The Champ is ready, striking Bo with Clubberin’~! They Be Clubberin’~! forearms! But the forearms do nothing more than briefly stun the 6’7” big man, as he soon is able to stop the forearms by simply shoving PRL away from him and into the ropes! When PRL returns, Bo is ready with a MASSIVE PUNCH right to Tha Puerto Rican’s face which knocks him down! COLE Bohemoth with a knockout punch! VENTURA If this was a Last Man Standing Match, Bohemoth would have won it with that move right there! Bohemoth picks Alfdogg up and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a BAAAAAACK Body Drop on Alf! Bohemoth goes for the cover! 1...2.…KICK OUT!!! VENTURA I hope Bohemoth didn’t think that a simple Back Body Drop would be enough to eliminate Alfdogg, Cole. Bo picks Alfdogg up. He whips him into a turnbuckle corner--Alfdogg reverses--Bohemoth hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Alf charges forward with a turnbuckle clothesline on Bo! Alfdogg then grabs Bohemoth and takes him over to another turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Bohemoth’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! Alf then turns his attention to PRL, grabbing him and slamming *his* face into a top turnbuckle pad! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Alf grabs PRL by his left hand and whips him into the same turnbuckle where Bohemoth is resting! Bo moves out of the way, and PRL hit’s the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Bohemoth grabs Alfdogg and starts beating on him with a combination of punches and chops! Alf stops this by scratching Bohemoth’s eyes! Alf then grabs Bo and then whips him into the same turnbuckle PRL is resting at! Bohemoth crashes right into Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Oh my! All 285 pounds of Bohemoth crashed right into Tha Puerto Rican right there! Alf charges forward, right into a boot from Bohemoth! Bo charges forward, right into a dropkick from Alfdogg that knocks him down! COLE Surprise dropkick stuns the big man! VENTURA The sooner Bohemoth is eliminated, the sooner Alfdogg can win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Mark my words! All three men are resting in the ring. That ends when Tha Puerto Rican charges out from the turnbuckle with a flying headscissors on Alfdogg! COLE The Champ with an offensive move! Great flying headscissors! P.R. takes a moment to catch his breath. COLE Tha Puerto Rican slow to get to his feet. He has been wrestling for over 20 minutes. He has worked his whole life to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and he refuses to let one of his challengers tonight end his dream here in Miami, Florida on the Halloween Spectacular! PRL is back on his feet, and he starts stomping on Alfdogg with his shaky leg kicks! Puerto picks Alfdogg up and sets him up against a turnbuckle corner. He punches him in the face several times! PRL turns around to see Bohemoth resting in another turnbuckle corner. So Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward and delivers a Stinger Splash on Bohemoth! He then turns back around to see Alfdogg still resting in the turnbuckle corner, so he charges forward again and nails Alfdogg with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splashes on Bohemoth and Alfdogg! THA PUERTO RICAN OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! “OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” VENTURA Where have I seen that before? PRL whips Alfdogg into the ropes…Alfdogg reverses…PRL bounces off of the ropes…right into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Alfdogg! VENTURA He got all of PRL on that one, Cole! COLE Indeed he did, Jess! And The Champ is once again down! PRL holds his back in pain on the mat. Alf sneers at PRL. He picks The Champ up. Alf runs with PRL, slamming his face into a top turnbuckle pad! Alf stomps a mudhole into PRL and walks it dry! Alfdogg chokes PRL with his right foot! VENTURA You think Alfdogg has forgotten about Zero Hour!? COLE Have you been watching HeldDOWN~! over the past month? VENTURA I’ll take that as a ‘No’. Alf stops choking PRL, and then picks him up. Alf then rushes backwards into the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, and then charges forward--AND GETS HIT WITH A YAKUZA KICK FROM BOHEMOTH~!!! COLE Whoa! Bohemoth out of nowhere with the Yakuza Kick to Alfdogg’s head! The crowd goes wild! Alfdogg covers his face and then rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Bohemoth exits the ring and goes after Alfdogg. The two men engage in a slugfest outside of the ring, trading rights back and forth. THA PUERTO RICAN DOES A SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO BOTH BOHEMOTH AND ALFDOGG~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 “YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” VENTURA Unbelievable, Michael Cole! COLE PRL attacking both Bohemoth AND Alfdogg with that INCREDIBLE Springboard Shooting Star Press! PRL going back to his roots on that move! VENTURA He went all out on that one! And that may cost him big time! “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth and Alfdogg all lie on the outside, breathing hard! The crowd is still going nuts over the Springboard Shooting Star Press. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL’s Springboard Shooting Star Press again from different angles. COLE An amazing move from the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! VENTURA Where did he get that from!? How did he pull that off so late in the match!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican must be running on pure adrenaline right now! The chance to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship means the world to him! PRL is the first man to get up. He takes a deep breath, wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and then raises his right fist into the air to cheers! Tha Puerto Rican “smells the electricity”. COLE The Lightning Bolts coming alive for their Champion right now! VENTURA It doesn’t matter! They won’t win the match for PRL! Puerto Rican picks Alfdogg up and throws him back into the ring. PR follows, and then goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICKOUT!!!! COLE That wasn’t it! That wasn’t enough! VENTURA Come on Alfdogg! PRL gets up and picks Alfdogg up. He sets him up against the ropes. PRL punches Alfdogg in the face several times, and then gives Alf an Irish whip. Alfdogg bounces off of the ropes, PRL does a leapfrog over Alf, Alfdogg bounces off of the opposite ropes, PRL does a reverse leapfrog over Alfdogg, Alf bounces off of the ropes again, and this time, PRL grabs him and gives him an arm-drag! PRL poses, and then goes for the cover. It gets two! PR picks Alfdogg up and measures him up. Tha Puerto Rican nails Alfdogg with several Rock-style punches to the temple! The punches send Alfdogg to a turnbuckle corner. PRL continues nailing Alf with Rock punches. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Alfdogg falls over the top rope and onto the floor! Bohemoth attacks PRL from behind and starts beating him up! COLE Bohemoth back in the match, targeting The Champion! Bo beats on PRL with punches and chops! Bo then whips PRL into a turnbuckle corner. Alfdogg gets back into the ring and Bo is ready, attacking Alf with punches and chops! Bo gets Alf good and dazed, and then applies a front facelock on him. Bo grabs Alf by his sweatpants and then lifts him up onto the top turnbuckle. Bo punches Alf in the face several times! Alfdogg fights back with punches of his own and then scratches Bo in the eyes! Alfdogg kicks Bohemoth in the face! Bohemoth staggers out from the turnbuckle corner. At this point, Tha Puerto Rican charges forward from the opposite turnbuckle corner. Bohemoth sees PRL coming his way, so he ALLEY-OOPS Tha Puerto Rican onto Alfdogg’s shoulders, and Tha Puerto Rican uses that to his advantage, bringing Alfdogg down to the mat with a FRANKENSTEINER~!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA YO~! COLE VENTURA What? COLE An unintentional double team move from Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican has Alfdogg reeling! VENTURA PRL and Bohemoth teaming up. Now I have seen everything! PRL and Alfdogg lie on the mat, while Bohemoth recovers from the eye scratching. PR is sucking in wind now. He gets up, cranks his neck, and then charges forward with a clothesline for Bohemoth, but Bohemoth ducks the clothesline, grabs PRL from behind in a waistlock, and then pushes him into the ropes, rolling PRL up! ONE! TWO! THREE--KICK OUT!!! Both Bohemoth and PRL get up. PRL charges forward, but Bohemoth responds by sending Tha Puerto Rican OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE BAAAAAACK Body Drop on Tha Puerto Rican by Bohemoth! PRL is lying on the protective mats on the outside clutching his left arm. As he does this, Bohemoth and Alfdogg rest in the ring. COLE So much action, with no elimination yet in the past 7 minutes! VENTURA The fatigue is setting in, Cole! They can’t keep this pace up for much longer! Bohemoth waits for Alfdogg to get up. He then changes his mind and just picks Alf up. Bo punches Alf in the face. He then does it again. And again. And again. Bo continues with the punches. Bo goes for a punch--BLOCKED! Alf fires off with some punches of his own! He gets Bohemoth dazed with his nonstop rights to the head! VENTURA Look at this! Alfdogg has got the big man stunned! Alfdogg rushes backwards into the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward going for a clothesline, Bohemoth ducks the clothesline, grabs Alfdogg in a waistlock, and then runs with him into the ropes, rolling him up! 1... 2... 3--KICK OUT!!! COLE Alfdogg almost eliminated! VENTURA Keyword being ‘almost’ Cole! Bohemoth gets up…and gets hit with a flying crossbody from Tha Puerto Rican! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN UGH! PRL picks Bohemoth up. Bohemoth grabs PRL and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Bohemoth able to get the better of Tha Puerto Rican once again! PRL sits on the outside clutching his stomach in pain. Bohemoth picks Alfdogg up. Bo knees Alfdogg in the face several times! He then gives Alf a vertical suplex onto the mat! PRL enters the ring and attacks Bohemoth with punches to the temple! Alfdogg soon gets back up and attacks PRL from behind! He shoves PRL aside, and then starts attacking Bohemoth on his own! Alf then turns his attention back to PRL, punching him in the face! Alf delivers an Irish whip on Tha Puerto Rican…Tha Puerto Rican reverses…PRL goes for a leapfrog…Alfdogg brings PRL down with an Atomic Drop! VENTURA The People’s Jewels got hurt there! Alfdogg then scoops PRL up onto his shoulders, lets out a mighty roar, and then throws PRL off of his shoulders, giving PR the Falcon Arrow on the way down! Alfdogg pops back up and strikes a pose! COLE WhipLash on Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA And look at Alf! He’s choosing to pose rather than go for the pin! COLE Alfdogg is getting cocky! He feels like he’s got Tha Puerto Rican right where he wants him! Alfdogg goes for the cover. 1! 2! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Those few seconds of posing may have cost Alfdogg the pinfall! VENTURA It’s okay. It’s elimination rules. Bohemoth could pin Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg would still be in this match-up! The important thing is that he stays until the bell rings! Alfdogg curses under his breath. Alf turns his attention back to Bohemoth, attacking him with forearm shots to the face! Bohemoth is good and dazed, so Alfdogg grabs Bo’s right hand, and then goes to give him an Irish whip--Bohemoth holds on and applies a Cobra Clutch on Alfdogg! He then lifts Alfdogg up and then gets down to his left knee, causing Alfdogg to land right on Bohemoth’s right knee in a backbreaker! COLE Style Injection! VENTURA Oh no! Bohemoth falls to his knees to catch his breath. Alfdogg lies on the mat clutching his back! Tha Puerto Rican is still lying on the mat following Alfdogg’s WhipLash. COLE Bohemoth is down! Alfdogg is down! Tha Puerto Rican is down! We still got two more eliminations left in this 5-Man Prism Elimination Match! Bohemoth crawls over and covers Alfdogg. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE That wasn’t it! Alfdogg is still in this match! Tha Puerto Rican is back to his feet and is stomping on Bohemoth! He picks Bo up. P.R. delivers a knife-edged chop to Bohemoth’s chest! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Bohemoth knees PRL in the gut! He then applies a front facelock on Puerto! Bo puts PR’s right arm over his head, and then grabs PR’s tights, lifting the World Heavyweight Champion up and over the top rope! PRL lands on the ring apron. Bohemoth elbows PRL in the face, dropping Puerto onto the outside. Bohemoth exits the ring, PRL charges forward, jumps onto the ring apron, and then does a Moonsault onto Bohemoth!…only Bohemoth moves out of the way! Luckily, PRL lands on his feet! VENTURA Nice. Bohemoth starts beating on PRL! PRL slugs back, and the two men engage in a slugfest! Back and forth both men go, getting the crowd fired up! ALFDOGG DOES A TOPE SUICIDA ONTO THA PUERTO RICAN AND BOHEMOTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Whoa! VENTURA Wow! COLE All three men are down! VENTURA But Alfdogg is in control! Alf, PRL and Bo all lie on the outside breathing hard. The crowd is going nuts! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Alfdogg’s Tope Suicida again. COLE Alfdogg taking it to the air on that one! All three men are laid out! And the match must continue until there is one man left! Alfdogg is on his hands and knees. He sneers at both of his opponents and then stands up. He looks at the crowd, and then picks Bohemoth up. Alf throws Bohemoth back into the ring. Alf then slides into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Alf takes a deep breath. He then starts stomping on Bo. Suddenly, he gets turned around by PRL. LIGHTNING STRIKE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Lightning Strike on Alfdogg! Is this it for Alfdogg!? 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! No! No! That was not it! That was not it for Alfdogg! VENTURA Alfdogg has the heart of a champion! A lesser man would have been knocked out cold following that Lightning Strike, but look at Alf! He is still standing! COLE He has fight all right! VENTURA He wants this bad, Michael Cole! He wants this REAL bad! PRL stands up pissed. He picks Alfdogg up. Punch. Alfdogg punches back. PRL punches back. Alfdogg punches back. A slugfest erupts between the two men. PRL soon gains the advantage, nailing Alfdogg with left hand after left hand! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! BLOCKED! Alfdogg fires with punches of his own! T-Bone Suplex on Tha Puerto Rican! Alf turns back to Bohemoth, beating on him in the corner. Suddenly, Bo comes to life, grabbing Alfdogg by his throat and then shoving him into the turnbuckle! Bo starts laying into Alfdogg with rights and lefts in the turnbuckle corner to the crowd’s delight! COLE Bohemoth with punches all over Alfdogg’s body! Bohemoth grabs Alfdogg and then scoops him up onto his right shoulder. Bo looks to the cheering fans, smiles, and then runs forward, giving Alfdogg a running powerslam! Bo pops right back up and turns his attention to Tha Puerto Rican, picking PR up to punch him in the face! PRL fights back! Back and forth both men go, trading punches! COLE It’s a battle of wills at this point! Who is going to fight through the pain? Who is going to fight through to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship or retain it? PRL soon gains the advantage, nailing Bohemoth with several lefts in succession! A punch is blocked and Bohemoth fires with a big right jab! Bo turns PRL around and then applies a waistlock on him. But PRL fights back with elbows to Bohemoth’s head! PRL rushes towards the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, right into a FRONT SPINEBUSTER! COLE Spinebuster! Big Spinebuster from the Big Man! Suddenly, Alfdogg grabs Bohemoth’s tights and rolls him up, holding onto his tights. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” VENTURA He got him! COLE Alfdogg with the dubious pinfall! VENTURA Hey, he got him. That’s all that matters. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, BOHEMOTH has been ELIMINATED!! Bohemoth sits up PISSED~! Alfdogg stands up, a cocky smirk on his face. Bo lunges after Alf, but is held back by referee Earl Hebner! Alfdogg exits the ring. COLE Alfdogg eliminates Bohemoth! Bohemoth comes short of winning the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title here tonight! VENTURA Tough break, Bo. Better luck next time. Now, there’s nobody left to stop Alfdogg from obtaining his record tying third OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COLE Nobody except Tha Puerto Rican quite possibly. VENTURA Oh pah! Hands on his hips, Bohemoth kicks the ropes in frustration, and then exits the ring. The crowd boos loudly. Bo slaps hands with the fans as he walks back to the entrance. Alfdogg sarcastically waves goodbye to Bohemoth. COLE So we are down to two men. The two men who fought for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship last month at Zero Hour! Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg! One of these two men will be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion by November 1st! VENTURA Alfdogg has survived to the very end! He’s going to make it! I can feel it! Once the coast is clear, Alfdogg enters the ring. He quickly picks Tha Puerto Rican up and applies the Cobra Clutch on him! He then gives PRL the Cobra Clutch Facebuster! VENTURA That’s how Alfdogg won the Title at AngleSlam! COLE Except that he DIDN’T, Jess! VENTURA Shut up. Alfdogg goes for the cover, hooking PRL’s left leg. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican with the shoulder up just in the nick of time! VENTURA He can’t afford to relax, Cole! One more pinfall and the match is over, Alfdogg is the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COLE And that’s something that Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t want, especially after all of the things that Alfdogg has said and done over the past seven months! VENTURA This is Alfdogg’s chance to prove his point: That Tha Puerto Rican is a weak World Heavyweight Champion! He HAS to win tonight for his point to be valid! Alfdogg punches PRL. Alf picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He shoves PR into a turnbuckle corner and punches him in the face several times. Alf then pulls PR out of the turnbuckle corner and continues punching him in the face. Alfdogg grabs PRL by his left hand, and then gives PRL an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Alfdogg puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, and then kicks Alfdogg right in the face! Tha Puerto Rican then rushes forward, leaps onto the second ring rope, and then springboards off of it doing a Moonsault! HOWEVER, Tha Puerto Rican lands on his feet, grabs Alfdogg by his head, and gives him a Reverse DDT! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL covers Alfdogg, hooking his right leg. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN DAMNIT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican not pleased with that count! He thought he had him! VENTURA Even an Asai DDT won’t put Alfdogg down! And PRL stole that move from his cousin, The Bone Thug, by the way. COLE Will you stop!? PRL rolls onto his stomach to catch his breath. Alfdogg is still lying on the mat breathing hard. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE Who’s going to survive? Who’s going to strive? And who is going to walk out of here with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title? VENTURA And who is going to face Leon Rodez at November Reign? The crowd claps in unison which leads to Tha Puerto Rican getting back to a vertical base. PRL exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Alfdogg hits PRL with an uppercut as he climbs! That seems to take a lot out of PRL, as he lies there motionless on the top turnbuckle. Alf climbs the second turnbuckle. He applies a front facelock on Tha Puerto Rican. Alfdogg then places Tha Puerto Rican’s left arm over his head, and then grabs PRL’s tights. PRL punches Alf in the stomach, but Alf punches PRL in the stomach, stopping the comeback. Alf climbs the top rope, and then grabs PRL’s tights again. COLE Both men up top. SUPERPLEX ON THA PUERTO RICAN~!!!!! VENTURA Alf got all of that one that time! Both Alfdogg and Tha Puerto Rican lie on the mat exhausted and in pain! COLE Tha Puerto Rican almost landed on his head! VENTURA Too bad that he didn’t. COLE Oh, will you stop!? Earl Hebner checks on both men. COLE Both men are exhausted! Both men have been in this from the opening bell which was a good half hour ago! How out of it must they be!? Alfdogg must be so winded at this point that it is going to take him time to regroup, recover and go for the pin after the high impact move! Alfdogg crawls over to cover Tha Puerto Rican. 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Only two! Alf picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He nails PRL with European Uppercuts. Alfdogg grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite ropes--Tha Puerto Rican reverses--Alfdogg bounces off of the ropes. SPINNNNNEEEEEEEBBBUUUUSSSSSSSTTTTTTEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” VENTURA Oh no. Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! Tha Puerto Rican bounces up and down in place, getting the crowd fired up! He throws up a “Killa B” and then stands over Alfdogg where…he kicks Alfdogg’s left arm onto his chest. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and then throws it into the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Alfdogg, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It is now time for The Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! VENTURA Ugh. Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, stops, lifts his right arm into the air…and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow onto Alfdogg! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects! VENTURA Kick out, Alfdogg! Kick out! Tha Puerto Rican covers Alfdogg. He hooks Alfdogg’s right leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 3! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE No! No! That wasn’t it! That wasn’t it either! The match continues! VENTURA Phew. COLE Alfdogg kicks out at 2.999999999999999999! VENTURA Like Alfdogg would lose to a stupid move like The Puerto Rico Elbow! That’s preposterous! COLE Stranger things have happened. PRL is upset that that wasn’t the finish. Still, he marches on, picking Alfdogg up…and getting hit with a jawbreaker in return! Alf s l o w l y gets back up to his feet. Alf then picks PRL up. Scoop and a slam puts PRL back down onto the mat! Alf then picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He goes for a vertical suplex, but Tha Puerto Rican lands right behind him! PRL grabs a waistlock on Alfdogg! Alfdogg elbows PRL repeatedly in the head to break the waistlock! Alfdogg then charges forward, bounces off of the ropes, and then charges forward going for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican wraps his legs around Alfdogg’s arms and brings him down with a crucifix pin…but PRL holds on, grabbing ahold of Alfdogg’s legs…lifting him up…putting his legs in front of Alfdogg’s arms…and hitting him with a STYLES CLASH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE Lightning Bolt! We haven’t seen that move from Tha Puerto Rican in a long time! PRL rolls through for the cover! 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN SHIT! COLE No secret what Tha Puerto Rican thought about that nearfall! VENTURA And he’s supposed to be a role model for children!? Come on now! Hulk Hogan wasn’t perfect, but AT LEAST he never cursed on camera! Both PRL and Alfdogg lie on the mat. Alf is the first to get up. He picks up Tha Puerto Rican and starts hammering away at him. Alfdogg whips Tha Puerto Rican into a turnbuckle corner. Alfdogg charges towards the turnbuckle corner…Tha Puerto Rican moves out of the way…Alfdogg hits the turnbuckle sternum-first HARD! Alfdogg stumbles out of the turnbuckle corner. KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Alfdogg! VENTURA No! The crowd explodes with cheers! Tha Puerto Rican covers Alfdogg, hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner counts, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (40:36) “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican does it! Tha Puerto Rican has successfully retained his Title! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican gets on his knees and lets out a mighty roar. Alfdogg lies on the mat covering his head in pain. The crowd goes wild! Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, ALFDOGG has been ELIMINATED!! Therefore, the winner of the match…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Heavyweight Champion of the Woooorrrrllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper and then hands it over to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican thanks the referee and then kisses the belt. He raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head and lets out another mighty roar to the crowd’s delight. COLE The dream lives on! Tha Puerto Rican has defeated FOUR of the top men in the industry to successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship here at the Halloween Spectacular! VENTURA One second made a difference, Michael Cole. ONE SECOND. ONE SECOND was all it took for Tha Puerto Rican to win. Don’t act like P.R. had this one in the bag. He won by ONE SECOND. Remember that, Cole! COLE Well, one second is all it took for Tha Puerto Rican to deliver the P.R. Nightmare and win the match to retain his Title! Now Alfdogg can no longer complain about PRL being ‘lucky’. He won fair and square with the P.R. Nightmare this time! VENTURA I give him credit. He capitalized on an Alfdogg mistake, something that rarely happens, but it’s only one victory. Put Tha Puerto Rican and Alfdogg in the ring together one more time, just the two of them, and the result will be MUCH different! Tha Puerto Rican stands up and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory again. The referee then leaves the ring. PRL kisses the belt again. COLE What a match! Tha Puerto Rican wrestled a 40-minute marathon out here tonight in Miami! He outlasted Brickston! He outlasted Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix! He outlasted Bohemoth! And he outlasted Alfdogg! And he stands before us STILL STILL the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! VENTURA I tell ya, this was one hell of a match. I’m just not too big of a fan of the end result. Still, all five men in this match truly gave it their all, so maybe the best man DID win. Or maybe not. I still contend that this was just one match! Alfdogg still has my vote for Wrestler Of The Year come the 2008 Angle Awards. COLE This has certainly been an incredible year for Tha Puerto Rican so far, and it’s just gotten better! We head into November with Tha Puerto Rican STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Alfdogg rolls out of the ring. He holds his head in pain. Alf falls to his right knee. He then slowly gets up. PRL watches Alfdogg go. COLE Give it up to Alfdogg. He certainly gave it his all, but tonight just wasn’t his night! VENTURA He came close, Cole. Just remember that. One second made all of the difference in the world. Alfdogg slowly walks to the entrance. He looks back at Tha Puerto Rican, sneers, and then continues walking back to the entrance. Tha Puerto Rican sarcastically waves goodbye to Alfdogg. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head, elicting a loud pop from the thousands in attendance. COLE Alfdogg can’t believe it, but it’s true! Tha Puerto Rican has won the 5-Man Prism Elimination Match and retains the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Alfdogg has left through the entrance. That leaves just Tha Puerto Rican to celebrate with his fans. PRL poses and throws up the “Killa B”, and several thousand “Killa B’s” are thrown back at him. COLE Four men were determined to end the dream, but the dream lives on! What a match! Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle, where he proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand and “smell the electricity” while a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL smiles, nods his head, gives a cheesy thumbs up and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican then heads to another second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand and “smell the electricity” while a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL smiles. He continues posing on the second turnbuckle. COLE And what a main event we have for November Reign coming up on November 30th! Tha Puerto Rican will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Leon Rodez in a rematch from AngleMania V! VENTURA The last time those two guys met, we got a classic match. I expect another awesome match between those two coming up at November Reign! I am much looking forward to their next battle! COLE Leon now knows who he will face for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship coming up in just 4 weeks at November Reign! That should be a barnburner! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Leon Rodez, one-on-one, at November Reign for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! But that is later on. Right now, all Tha Puerto Rican is thinking about is celebrating with these great fans! Tha Puerto Rican smiles, nods his head, gives a cheesy thumbs up and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle. PRL does the same Rock pose on the third second turnbuckle and the fourth second turnbuckle. Meanwhile, the OAOAST Halloween Spectacular 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to highlights from this match. COLE What a match! So many highlights! Tha Puerto Rican doing a Springboard Shooting Star Press onto Bohemoth and Alfdogg! Alfdogg doing a Tope Suicida onto Tha Puerto Rican and Bohemoth! Nonstop action all the way through with Tha Puerto Rican dodging an oncoming Alfdogg on the way to delivering a P.R. Nightmare for the win as Tha Puerto Rican leaves Miami, Florida STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The OAOAST Halloween Spectacular 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut back to live action with Tha Puerto Rican hopping over the top rope onto the floor. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and then slings it over his left shoulder. PRL breathes a sigh of relief, and then walks to the entrance, slapping hands with the fans along the way, a smile on his face. Fireworks explode over the ring. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Fans, thank you for tuning into the OAOAST Halloween Spectacular! We hoped that you enjoyed the show! We will see you NEXT Friday night for a special Friday night edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman and Jesse “The Body” Ventura, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from Miami, Florida, and have a very safe and HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Tha Puerto Rican continues slapping hands with the fans as he walks back to the entrance, with fireworks continuing exploding over the ring as “Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. The crowd cheers loudly. This is the last image that we see before we fade to black. FADE TO BLACK

OAOAST SAY WHAAAAAAT? The OAOAST will produce its 300th episode this January, which is more than Family Guy (as of 2008), the O.C. and the Chevy Chase Show combined. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, our Intercontinental Title match is next! COACH I'm looking forward to this Cole! I can't wait to see who beats Jereme Grey for the belt! CUE: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs -The fans erupt as the lights begin to flash along with the beat. HEY! -the guitar suddenly picks up, and the lights now flash along with the strumming. The curtain opens slowly, and out slinks Evelyn Maguire, wearing a skimpy pirate outfit. The cheers grow louder as she slowly licks her lips and smiles. COACH ...I love Halloween. COLE OH MY GOD!! She must be FREEZING! -Evelyn steps slightly to the left, making room for none other than the Intercontinental Champion, Jereme Grey! The cheers are off the charts as Jereme, clad in his usual wrestling attire, walks straight past Evelyn towards the ring. BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen! The next match! Is scheduled for ONE fall! And is for the OAOAST Intercontinental CHAMPIONSHIP!! Entering first, from Marseille, France...weighing in at One Hundred and Ninety Pounds...he is YOUR OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION....JEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! -The cheers blast the roof off the place as Jereme slides into the ring, handing the title belt down to Evelyn. Jereme moves to the opposite end of the ring, his eyes never leaving the entrance. Evelyn smiles a cocky smile as she hops onto the apron behind her man, giving him moral support. ...and the lights go out.... The sound of wind howling fills the arena. An owl hoots as distant, maniacal laughter is heard. The laughing slowly gets louder, before.... CUE: "Genesis" by Justice -The fans go batshit!~ A gold trimmed "A.R.B" flashes on the AngleTron...as the curtain flies open, revealing... AUSTIN "RAGDOLL" BAKER!! COLE OH MY GOD!! COACH Jesus, he looks terrifying... -A loud "WEL-COME BACK!" chant fills the arena as Ragdoll slowly makes his way down the ramp, his black rimmed eyes never leaving Jereme. Ragdoll smiles as he takes off his purple overcoat and throws it to the ground. BUFFER "And his opponent! From LAS VEGAS, NEVADA!! Weighing in at One Hundred and Ninety Pounds...A man that is NO stranger to the OAOAST ring! Making his first OAOAST appearance in over three years!...AUSTIN...."RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGDOLL!!" BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!! -At the sheer mention of Ragdoll's name, the fans are near riot. Ragdoll slides into the ring and walks straight up to the champ, who simply smiles. COLE I don't think Jereme is mentally prepared for this, Coach! COACH Most definitely not, Mike! He was preparing for Patrick Callahan, Mickey Gillpatrick, CMJ, Biff Atlas, Christian Wright, Theodore Moneymaker...ANYONE but Ragdoll! I am seeing Austin "Ragdoll" Baker becoming the NEW OAOAST Intercontinental Champion! -Ragdoll and Jereme stare each other down, neither man showing the slightest sign of backing down. Ragdoll smiles slightly before signaling to the bell...guy...dude... DING DING DING -WHAM!! Jereme drops to the mat clutching at his jaw, but quickly covers up, trying to block the stomps raining down on him. Ragdoll suddenly drops down to his knees, replacing the boots with solid punches to the head and chest. COLE It looks like Ragdoll is wasting NO time here tonight! COACH And that's because he has a little thing called experience, Michael! Ragdoll has been in more TITLE matches than Jereme Grey has been in REGULAR matches. This is going to be over in Five minutes. -Ragdoll quickly grabs Jereme by the hair and drags him up to a standing position. WHAM! WHAM! Two more stiff punches connect to Jereme's face, causing the champion to reel. Ragdoll, seeing his opportunity, takes off towards the opposite ropes. He rebounds, and runs full-speed towards Jereme. Ragdoll suddenly leaps, swinging his right knee around!! COLE DEVIL DOLL!! COACH NEW CHAMP!! -Jereme finally retains his bearings, just in time to see Ragdoll careening towards him. Jereme suddenly leaps as well...WHAM!! The fans OOOOHHH as Ragdoll flies backward, where he hits the mat hard. COLE A HELLACIOUS DROPKICK!! -Jereme shakes the cobwebs loose as Ragdoll clutches at his ribs, struggling to stand. Jereme stands quickly and rushes over to Ragdoll...WHAM! The fans groan as Rags screams in pain, courtesy of a swift MMA style kick to his ribs. WHAM! Another kick causes Ragdoll to scream again, this time putting a twisted smile onto Jereme's face. Jereme swings his leg again...WHANO! Ragdoll catches the leg...WHAM!! Ragdoll's eyes roll back as he drops backwards, thanks to a stiff enziguri to the back of the head. COLE It seems as if Jereme Grey has the upper hand here, Coach! -Jereme smirks as he stands slowly, dragging Ragdoll up with him. WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOO!!! -...WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! -Jereme pushes Ragdoll back against the ropes, before Irish whipping him. Hard. Ragdoll hits the opposite ropes and rebounds, just as Jereme drops to the mat. Ragdoll hops over him and hits the other ropes, just as Jereme springs up...WHAM!! A HUGE dropkick floors Ragdoll, causing the psychopathic veteran to roll out of the ring, clutching at his jaw. COLE Coach, I just can't get over it! Jereme Grey has been DOMINATING this match so far! COACH What you seem to be forgetting is that it's still early in the match, Mike. No worries. Ragdoll will show this kid whats what. -Ragdoll stands quickly, still clutching at his jaw and ignoring the ref's count. He shakes his head slightly, before sliding back into the ring. Jereme smirks as he leans against the opposite ropes, shrugging towards his cousin-in-law. Ragdoll smiles wide as well, motioning for Jereme to come to the center of the ring. Jereme abides, and the two circle each other before getting locked into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Both men jockey for position, but neither one can appear to get the upperhand...WHAM! Jereme yelps as Ragdoll's heel drives down into his toe. The split second is all that Ragdoll needs, and he twists slightly, locking Jereme into a side headlock. Ragdoll wrenches hard on the hold...WHAM! An elbow to the gut surprises Rags! WHAM!! Another elbow causes Ragdoll to let out a small grunt...WHANO!! Ragdoll, anticipating the third elbow, holds the side headlock with one hand, grabbing Jereme's arm at the last second. Ragdoll suddenly stands straight up, bringing Jereme up as well. Ragdoll, in one fluid motion, steps behind Jereme, bringing his trapped arm around his throat....COBRA CLUTCH!! The fans erupt as Jereme struggles to get free, but Ragdoll has it locked in too tight! Ragdoll suddenly vines his leg around Jereme's...and falls forward!! CRASH!! COLE SHUTTER!! JEREME JUST GOT LAID OUT WITH HIS OWN MOVE!! COACH NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP!! -Evelyn screams as Ragdoll flips Jereme onto his back. Ragdoll covers as the fans count along with the ref!! ONE!! TWO!! THRENOAREYOUKIDDINGPSYCHEITSTOOEARLYFORTHEMATCHTOEND!~! -The fans groan with Ragdoll as Evelyn lets out a sigh of relief. Ragdoll sits up on his knees, staring down at his cuz-in-law, who lies motionless on the canvas. Ragdoll smirks slightly as he wipes his nose, smearing some of the Joker make-up on his face. COLE GOOD GOD, COACH!! We were a SPLIT PEA SOUP SECOND away from having a new champion!! COACH It's intense, Mike! But nowhere near as intense the beating I'll give YOU if you ever say "split pea soup second" ever again! COLE Fair Enough! -Ragdoll slowly begins to stand, just as Jereme begins to stir. COLE We're seeing some shades of Ragdoll here from Jereme Grey, Coach! He's already starting to get up after JUST taking his own finisher! -Ragdoll slowly walks over towards the corner furthest from Jereme, who is now up to a knee. Ragdoll stops at the corner and turns, staring straight at the champ. Ragdoll's eyes are strangely relaxed, looking more like he's watching a newscast than he is sizing up his opponent. COLE There is something eery about Ragdoll's eyes, Coach. Is he bored of this match? COACH It's clear, Cole...Ragdoll has been in this situation before. He knows ex-actly what to do when this opportunity arises. Take a WILD guess as to what he's preparing for right now. COLE Devil Doll? COACH Devil Doll. And Circle gets the Square. -The fans begin to rise as Ragdoll simply stares, his eyes half open. Jereme grabs onto the nearby rope for support as he slowly stands, causing the cheers from the crowd to rise louder and louder...Jereme slowly turns...and Ragdoll takes off!! Once again, Ragdoll runs as fast as he can towards Jereme, who is now facing the oncoming train. Ragdoll once again leaps, swinging his right knee COLE DEVIL DOLL!! - ...AND JEREME DUCKS!! The fans erupt as Ragdoll hits the turnbuckle hard; his right leg going between the top and middle ropes. Jereme, acting out of pure instinct, stands quickly and turns towards Rags. Jereme suddenly wraps his arms around Ragdoll's lifted leg and shoulder, clutching his hands across the challengers chest. Jereme, using all the strength he has left, lifts....CRASH!!! Ragdoll's neck folds like an accordion as he hits the mat hard; the impact causing him to flip wildly before finally landing on his back!! COLE SHADES OF GREY!! THE SHADES OF GREY HAS BEEN EXECUTED!! JEREME MIGHT JUST RETAIN HIS TITLE!! -Cole would be right...if Jereme was actually moving. Both men lie motionless in the ring. The move, obviously, took a lot out of Ragdoll, but it also drained Jereme of whatever energy he had left. The ref looks to both men...and begins his count! 1! 2!! 3!!! -The cheers grow louder with each second. Jereme, showing his heart, slowly begins to move. 4!!!! 5!!!!! 6!!!!!! -Jereme slowly lifts his head, seeing Ragdoll's lifeless body lying in the middle of the ring. Jereme slowly crawls towards him... 7!!!!!!! 8!!!!!!!! -Jereme is so close!! 9!!!!!!!!! -AND HE MAKES IT JUST IN TIME!! Jereme slowly drapes his arm across Ragdoll's chest, stopping the Ref's count!! The ref drops... ONE!! TWO!!! THREENO!~! -The fans erupt as Ragdoll spasms, forcing him to get his shoulder up just in time!!! COLE RAGDOLL KICKED OUT!! -Jereme slowly rolls over onto his back, covering his face with his hands. His head slowly shakes from side to side as the ref holds up two fingers. Evelyn covers her mouth as Jereme slowly sits up, holding his head in pain. The ref shows him the two fingers as he stands, to which Jereme simply nods. Ragdoll, showing the fighting spirit that he is known for, begins to stir, aimlessly grasping at Jereme's legs as the champion walks by. Jereme shakes the cobwebs loose as he kneels down, grabbing Ragdoll by his greasy green hair. COLE Ragdoll and Jereme have been throwing everything they can at each other in just these opening minutes! We've already seen the Shutter delivered to Jereme Grey! He's kicked out! We've seen the Shades of Grey delivered to Ragdoll! HE'S kicked out! What else can these two do to one another? COACH Now, they try to wear the other down. Keep in mind, Ragdoll's Devil Doll is the destroyer of worlds. COLE ...and? COACH That's it. It destroys worlds. -Jereme slowly drags Ragdoll to a standing position...WHAM! A huge knee to the gut causes Jereme to double over. Ragdoll grabs Jereme by the wrist, whips him towards the ropes, and immediately runs after him. Jereme hits the ropes, just as Ragdoll swings his right arm...BUT JEREME DUCKS, GRABBING THE TOP ROPE AS HE DROPS!! Ragdoll topples over the top rope, his right arm hitting the canvas as he plummets to the mats below, right next to Evelyn. Jereme lies on the mat, hoping to take this opportunity to catch his breath, as the ref starts his count. 1! 2!! 3!!! 4!!!! -Jereme, not wanting to take the bitch way out, rolls out to the outside, just as Ragdoll stands. Ragdoll swings for a right hand, but it's blocked by Jereme, who counters with a right hand of his own. Ragdoll stumbles back, but is quickly brought back to the apron by J-Grey, who slams the veterans head on the canvas once before sliding him back into the ring. Jereme slides in quickly, hoping to take advantage of Ragdoll's momentary loss of bearings. Ragdoll slowly begins to stand, but Jereme drives his boot straight to his face, knocking the former X champ to the mat. Jereme, not wanting to keep Ragdoll down for long, grabs him by the hair and drags him up...WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! -...WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! -Jereme quickly pushes Ragdoll up against the ropes, then whips across the ring. Ragdoll hits the other ropes just as Jereme rushes forward. Jereme dips down a bit, catching Ragdoll in a bear hug. In one fluid motion, Jereme lifts Rags high into the air...SLAM!! A HUGE SPINEBUSTER!! Ragdoll clutches at his lower back as he screams in pain! Jereme stands quickly, dragging Ragdoll along with him. Jereme once again whips Rags, this time towards the corner. Ragdoll hits hard...CRASH!! AVALANCHE!! Jereme grabs onto Ragdoll's head and bounces out of the Avalanche, delivering a bulldog. Ragdoll clutches at his nose as Jereme once again stands quickly, and once again, stands Ragdoll up with him. Jereme whips Ragdoll towards the ropes. Ragdoll rebounds, but ducks under the leaping Jereme, causing Ragdoll to hit the ropes and rebound. Jereme turns suddenly, swinging his right arm straight at Ragdoll, Who Ducks!! Jereme spins an extra spin as Ragdoll stops on a dime, waiting for the champ to face him. Jereme stops spinning, now facing A LEAPING RAGDOLL!! RAGDOLL SWINGS HIS RIGHT KNEE!! WHAM!!! COLE/COACH DEVIL DOLL!!! -The fans go insane as Jereme slowly drops to his knees, his eyes now in the back of his head, just before falling face first onto the mat. Ragdoll clutches at his lower back and winces, but fights through the pain....AND COVERS!! The ref drops as Evelyn shrieks!! ONE!! TWO!!! THR... -The fans erupt in boos as the ref gets dragged out of the ring, and is quickly replaced by a man wearing a dark blue jacket and black jeans. Ragdoll stands quickly, coming face to face with... COLIN MAGUIRE, JR.!!! COLE CMJ! CMJ IS BACK!! COACH I...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT~!~~ -CMJ smirks as Ragdoll gets right in his face...WHAM!! Ragdoll goes down like a ton of bricks, courtesy of CMJ's brass knuckles. DING DING DING!! The ref calls for the bell as CMJ laughs, standing triumphantly in the ring, looking back and forth between Ragdoll and Jereme, the latter slowly trying to stand. CMJ giggles slightly as he steps back a few steps, getting into an attack position. Jereme slowly begins to stand. First, he's at a knee, then both knees. He now has one foot planted on the ground, as he slowly sloooooowly pushes himself up, just as CMJ runs forward and leaps, grabbing onto the back of Jereme's head....CRASH!~! COACH D-STREET CUTTER!!! -Jereme's neck folds like a card table as CMJ stands quickly, staring out into the crowd with the worlds biggest grin on his face. The boos are incredible as CMJ outstretches his arms. COLE COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. HAS JUST SCREWED RAGDOLL OUT OF THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE, SCREWED THE FANS OUT OF SEEING THE REST OF THIS MATCH, AND, QUITE POSSIBLY, BROKEN JEREME GREY'S NECK!! DAMN HIM!! -The boos suddenly turn to cheers as Evelyn Maguire slides in, brandishing a steel chair! CMJ turns, just as Eve swings...BUT CMJ CATCHES THE CHAIR!! He rips it out of the frightened Eve's hands and glares at her...WHACK!! Evelyn drops to the mat, clutching at her forehead as CMJ tosses the dented chair to the ground. He quickly steps out of the ring and heads for Buffer, who instinctively hops the guard rail and runs off. CMJ laughs as he grabs the IC title belt. He slowly slides into the ring, ignoring the thousands of booing fans as he slings the IC title over his shoulder as he slowly struts over towards the motionless Jereme and stands over him. CMJ glares down at him and begins to chuckle, just before sliding out of the ring, taking Jereme's OAOAST Intercontinental Title belt with him. COLE CMJ is now ROBBING Jereme Grey of his Intercontinental Championship belt, Coach! That evil bastard!! COACH Possession is 9/10ths of ownership, Mike! We are now looking at the REAL Intercontinental champion!! COLE FANS! We'll be right back!!

DURING THE BREAK Zack at his side, Sly is carted off on a stretcher. COLE We are back live on TSM and there you the result of a sneak-attack by the Heavenly Rockers moments ago. Sly Sommers tried to give it a go during the break, but doctors advised him not to compete, making this now -- unfortunately -- a Triple Threat bout. COACH Sommers and Malibu got what they deserved for abusing a respected religious figure like Abdullah Nerdly. COLE Respected by who? Bitter people who cling to their religion and guns? COACH Obviously not, or Sly Sommers would be a great admirer of his hailing from Scranton, Pennsylvania! "The Church of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship cues, and the tandem of James Blonde and Faqu head to the ring. BUFFER And now, ladies and gentlemen, representing CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL, at 509 pounds… JAMES BLONDE and “THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL” FAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUU!! Blonde and Faqu compliment the Heavenly Rockers on a job well done, referring to their attack on the In Crowd, but vow to leave the new champions, earning them a Dikembe Mutombo-esque finger wag from Synth. COACH Who wants to sex Synth? COLE Not James Blonde and Faqu, that’s for sure, although they’re no doubt thankful for the dirty deed Synth and Logan committed because it’s one less team to worry about. “The Wall” by Kansas blasts through the speakers, as the lights go out and the World tag team champions emerge through a smoke filled entryway escorted by Melissa Nerdly. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MELISSA NERDLY, the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, representing THE DEADLY ALLIANCE… THUNDERKID and RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Reject and Thunderkid are pounced on by the other two teams upon entering the ring, but the alliance is short-lived as THR ambush Blonde and Faqu! COACH I told you, Cole -- it’s every team for itself. * DINGDINGDING * Faqu becomes the target of THR after Blonde is dumped outside. For most competitors 2 against 1 are terrible odds, not for the Samoan Wrecking Ball though. He blocks an Irish whip and pulls the Heavenly Rockers in for a double clothesline! COLE You can bet Synth and Logan will be singing out of tune for awhile. As Faqu beats his chest and roars, Reject sneaks from behind and clotheslines the Samoan Wrecking Ball off the top rope ala Randy Savage! The R-Man follows by going to the top…but is met by James Blonde and a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Canadian Chic superstar entertainer brushes himself off, a smirk on his face, before Thunderkid clotheslines him outside. Faqu joins his partner after TK ducks a charge and backdrops the mighty Samoan over the top! Double dropkick from the Heavenly Rockers sends TK out to the floor as well. No one else in sight, Synth takes a dive for Logan! COACH He can’t do that. Can he? COLE Absolutely not. The Outlaw rule is in effect, meaning partners can’t pin each other. The Heavenly Rockers don’t care, they want referee Clem Buzzlefoxer to count anyway. When they don’t get their way they attempt to intimidate the official into doing so. Then a familiar bass chord rips through the arena. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" SYNTH/LOGAN ZACK MALIBU bum-rushes the ring and gets him some of the Heavenly Rockers. Stereo knees to the midsection stuns Malibu momentarily, but the Franchise is one Pissed off Prep. He puts on the brakes following an Irish whip and DDT’S both rockers! COACH Doesn’t anybody respect copyrights anymore? That’s blatant infringement right there. A cover isn’t even considered, and Malibu continues to hammer THR. Though Logan is able to escape, Synth isn’t so lucky. He gets sent for the ride but telegraphs a backdrop and swings Zack over in a neck breaker! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Synth drives Zack’s face into the knee of Logan and we have our first tag of the match. Logan fires Zack across, but whiffs on a back elbow and gets walloped on the rebound by a flying cross body! ONE! NO! Zack would rather slam Logan’s head against the mat than go for the pin. This almost leads to another ambush, but the sound of footsteps cause Malibu to stop and turn, and deliver an atomic drop. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" An orgy of violence ensues as everyone guns for the Franchise. Zack unable to remain upright for long as he’s overwhelmed by the other 6 competitors. COLE This is exactly what I feared. With no partner Zack Malibu is a sitting duck. COACH We’ve turned into the Discovery Channel, Mikey. Zack’s the meat and the Heavenly Rockers, Blonde and Faqu and the OAO World tag team champions Reject and Thunderkid are the piranhas. It’s the kind of programming the whole family can enjoy! “LET’S GO ZACK!” “LET’S GO ZACK!” “LET’S GO ZACK!” With so many egos involved, it’s no surprise when the newly formed, if for one night only, “Alliance to End Zack Malibu” turns on each other in dispute over the leadership position. Perhaps that honor should’ve gone to James Blonde, who views the action between the Heavenly Rockers and Reject and Thunderkid from behind Faqu in the corner. The Mover from Vancouver then orders the destruction of the other two squads. COLE Uh-oh. Gigantic HEADBUTT knocks Reject and TK into next week, and the Heavenly Rockers to the front row after a pair of THRUST KICKS. COACH James Blonde must not have fed Faqu all day because the big man has an appetite for destruction. Lost staring at himself in a child-like manner on the AngleTron, an old friend appears behind Faqu’s shoulder. ZACK MALIBU!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Faqu turns to face his former rival, who encourages him to bring it. COLE Zack Malibu and Faqu about to renew a fierce rivalry. Who could forget their incredible feud over the HI-YAH Championship? COACH Yeah, which Faqu took from Zack and held until the title was discontinued. Malibu evades a charge and lands a flurry of open handed slaps that stagger the Samoan Wrecking Ball, then knocks him loopy out on the apron with a ROARING ELBOW~! Zack grabs a front facelock and receives an unexpected assist from TK…only to have Faqu display his raw power and suplex both men outside! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Faqu isn’t even halfway through the ropes when he’s grabbed by the Heavenly Rockers and spiked on his skull. PERCUSSION DDT! But he's Samoan, damnit. Faqu no sells the blow and dispenses a couple of head butts! COLE You don’t see that everyday. An exchange is made and from out of the blue James Blonde gets struck by a MISSLE DROPKICK! COACH Well, I guess fair is fair. Blonde caught Reject by surprise earlier and now Reject does the same. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject snap mares Blonde, then kicks him in the spine of the back. The R-Man scoops JB in the air, but he floats over the top and shoves Reject into the ropes. Spinning heel kick finds its mark. Greed sets in when Blonde goes for his signature MARTY JANNETTY FISTDROP instead of a quick cover…and eats a BIG BOOT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" A jelly-leg James Blonde falls out through the ropes after a hard pat on the back by Synth for the tag. But the Synthmeister dashes right into a gut wrench suplex! The champs tag and Reject fires a roundhouse kick to the abdomen as TK holds Synth in a hangman. Doubled over, Synth is easily taken up and down in a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY LOGAN! REJECT “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The Manns and Reject/Melissa exchange words. Meanwhile, TK sets for a Falcon Arrow, but Synth slips out and hits PERCUSSION! COLE Could we have new champions right here!? ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! SAVE BY REJECT! Synth shoots Reject a look that screams WTF, but forgives the R-Man for his transgression and invites him inside for a small prayer. Surprisingly Reject accepts, only to cheap shot Synth and hit a FISHERMAN’S BUSTER!! "BOOOOOOOOOYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Can you say karma? COACH Yeah, and it sounds a lot like SHUT UP! Reject receives the tag from a still woozy Thunderkid and looks to clamp on the R-LOCK…but gets waylaid by a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! ABDULLAH Synth makes the tag and Logan the cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ZACK MALIBU! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Isn’t that nice. Zack Malibu remembers he’s still in the match. I thought he had maybe forgotten since he’s spent much of it hiding in the corner. He’s fortunate egos collided, or he may already have a hospital bed next to Sly Sommers. COLE Reject reverses a whip and snaps Logan over in a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Logan returns the favor and gets a little help from the missus, who trips up Reject! REJECT Reject throws a kick at Holly’s head that fortunately misses. A running elbow smash from Logan Mann does not, however, catching Reject square between the eyes and the R-Man hits the floor hard. From the top Logan delivers a DOUBLE AXEHANDLE SMASH onto Reject below, then hands the duty over to Zack who hasn‘t forgotten about the attack on Sly and unloads! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" But Zack lets his emotions get the better of him and as result walks into a SPIN KICK from Reject! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Zack eats turnbuckle and then an array of kicks from Reject, including one that catches him flush in the jaw. FAQU The blow knocks Malibu to the seat of his pants, music to the ears of Faqu who tags in and squashes the Franchise like a bug for SAMOA~! COACH They smell blood, Cole. I bet Zack regrets always wanting to be the center of attention now. COLE There’s no question Zack’s success has breaded jealously. Though it was his partner who did all the work, James Blonde wants to reap the reward…and makes a nonchalant cover. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ONE! TWO! BLONDE Malibu rolls Blonde over in a crucifix! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men hurry to their feet, but a SITOUT JAWBREAKER puts Zack back off his. Jaws drop and heads turn when SLY SOMMERS is spotted hobbling down the aisle, his knee heavily bandaged. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh, my, what courage! COACH And yet another example of your bias towards the In Crowd. COLE Why don’t you just sit on it, Coach!? Sly couldn’t stand back and watch any longer. He wants to fight alongside his partner. COACH I’d say Sly can’t stand on much of anything right now. It’s taking him 20 years to get to the ring! But I’m sure that only makes it even more courageous in your book. Malibu’s fired in for a corner clothesline, but on the bulldog he shoves Blonde off… BLONDE …and CROTCHES him on the middle turnbuckle! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Zack’s unable to capitalize though, physically exhausted from the punishment he’s sustained. With him and Blonde down Clem Buzzlefoxer starts the mandatory 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… Blonde and Malibu begin to stir. FOUR… FIVE… SIX… Blonde tags Faqu. SEVEN… EIGHT… And Zack tags Sly! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH This should be interesting. Faqu charges Sly and gets leveled by a slingshot cross body! COLE Bad knee or not, it‘s clear Sly plans on taking it to Faqu. Running high on adrenaline Sly fires away on Faqu, but takes a knee to the gut and is whipped to the corner. Sommers moves and Faqu crashes into the buckles! BRIDGING SIDE SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Faqu rakes the eyes and whips Sly off again, but Sommers floats over the side to escape a Samoan Drop and takes the big man down with a sunset flip. Or at least tries to Roaring at the top of his lungs, Faqu sits down…but Sly sits up and the Samoan Wrecking Ball lands hard on his tailbone! FAQU James Blonde enters and gets cut off by Zack. All hell ensues as the Heavenly Rockers and Reject/TK join the fray. THR and DA pair off in one corner, the In Crowd and CI in the other. Retaliation from earlier, Melissa yanks Logan outside, and then we have ourselves a CATFIGHT~! between Melissa and Holly! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH The action just isn’t hot inside the ring, it’s also in my pants! Shot to the far corner Synth runs up the ropes and performs a MOONSAULT off the top onto Reject and TK! Suddenly LANDON MADDIX makes his presence felt, blasting Zack and Sly with a STEEL CHAIR while old man Buzzlefoxer is more interested in what's going on outside (who can blame him?). "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The leader of Cucaracha Internacional flees the scene, his job done. COLE Landon Maddix had no business out here. He should've been in the back preparing for his match, not sticking his nose in other people's business. Damn him! Logan tries to capitalize on the situation himself, but gets caught off the top with a Samoan drop! James Blonde then places the In Crowd side to side and tells Faqu to go up for the big one. But Reject tags Faqu on his massive ass and shoves him down onto Blonde!! COACH They’re gonna need to scrape Blonde off the canvas after this one’s over. Reject delivers a BIG ELBOW~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO!! THEODORE MONEYMAKER pulls the referee out of the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOO!" As he, the ref and Reject argue, ALFDOGG marches down and shoves Moneymaker from behind, and they get into it. COLE You talk about egos. We have some of the biggest ever before us. COACH Except they’re like a tiny third world country compared next to Zack. But Alf is upset Teddy kept his guys from winning. You gotta admire a leader who'd stick up for his guys even if it puts him in a hostile enviorment. Not invited to the party Zack crashes it, wiping out Moneymaker, Alfdogg and inadvertently the referee with a SUICIDE DIVE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH See what I mean, Cole? Moneymaker staggers to his feet and goes for the chair Landon Maddix left behind, but eats a SUPERKICK! COLE School’s Out for you, Theodore Moneymaker! * THWACK * ALF COLDCOCKS ZACK, and then jabs the chair against Sly’s knee for good measure! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a cheapshot! THE R-LOCK is clamped on as Alf helps a groggy Clem Buzzlefoxer back inside. Sly reaches for the ropes in desperation, the pain evident on his face, but Reject sits down, forcing Sommers to tap! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match…and STILL World tag team champions… THE DEADLYYYYYYYY ALLIANCE!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Alf, Reject and TK all celebrate as they head up the aisle. COACH It's like a morgue out here, Mikey Cole. We've got bodies everywhere. COLE Thanks in part to Alfdogg. COACH Well you know what they say -- a family that plays together stays together. Like a good neighbor Alfdogg was there! COLE Give me a break. We'll be back, ladies and gentlemen. MORE SPOOKTACULAR ACTION TO COME

HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! “Heart-Shaped Box” plays, as Holly Mann and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly usher the Heavenly Rockers to the ring. BUFFER The following FATAL 4 WAY match is for the One & Only World tag team championship! Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY MANN… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY in association with THE ENTERPRISE presents the only rock n’ wrestling band that matters… SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The Heavenly Rockers spread their wings and pose on the middle rope to a chorus of boos. COLE There they are, ladies and gentlemen, Synth Abdul-Jabbar and Logan Usher Mann, the Heavenly Rockers, who only last week on HeldDOWN~! we learned would represent the Enterprise in a shocking announcement by Theodore Moneymaker. This after Moneymaker allowed the Beverly Hills Blonds to make fools of themselves in front of a worldwide television audience. COACH How so? Teddy sent a text message informing the Blonds of his decision. It’s not his fault Simon and Ned figured they were automatically entitled to the spot by virtue of being Enterprise members. Cronyism isn’t welcomed in the E. COLE It depends which E we’re talking about. RIMSHOT~! “Getting Away With Murder” hits, and the crowd explodes. BUFFER Their opponents, representing THE IN CROWD, total combine weight 419 pounds… SLY SOMMERS AND ZAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALIBU!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Through a shower of pyro walk Zack Malibu and Sly Sommers, but it‘s through hell and back they must go if they wish to capture the One & Only World tag team championship. The In Crowd at a serious disadvantage with no real allies to speak of in this match. COACH It’s every team for itself, you idiot. COLE I understand that. My point is, what’s to stop the other 3 organizations from ganging up on them? COACH You say that like it’s a bad thing. Like a pair of politicians, Malibu and Sommers meet and greet their faithful supporters, but cross paths with some Joe that isn’t a plumber nor American. He’s a Speaker for the Prophets and an Inspirational Leader. COLE Hold on here. Colonel Abdullah Nerdly has confronted the In Crowd and I don’t think he’s got taxes on his mind. Abdullah removes his 10 gallon hat to symbolize he comes before Zack and Sly in his role of religious figure, not the Colonel, and warns of danger. Sommers and Malibu nod in agreement, and then paste Nerdly! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH That’s awful, Cole. It’s gotta rank up there with Dr. King’s assassination. COLE The danger Abdullah prophesied materializes, as the Heavenly Rockers blindside the In Crowd. Zack Malibu knocked to the arena floor while Sly Sommers is the victim of a CHOP BLOCK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH What a clumsy fool Sly Sommers is. He slipped and aggravated a nagging knee injury! Assisted by Holly, Abdullah whips Zack into the guardrail to buy the Heavenly Rockers more time to do further damage on the bad knee of Sly Sommers. COLE The Heavenly Rockers trying to eliminate the In Crowd before the match even begins! COACH Although the main objective hasn’t been achieved yet, Teddy’s already starting to see big returns on his investment. Like the kind students at Beverly Vista could receive by voting J.C. Pennington IV class president! Speaking of returns, Zack Malibu makes his wielding a STEEL CHAIR and clears the ring. As the Heavenly Rockers gloat outside, medical personnel join the Franchise to evaluate Sly. COLE Fans, I’m being told we’re gonna take a quick break to sort everything out because it’s quite possible our scheduled Fatal 4 Way may have just become a Triple Threat match. HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR DON’T GHOUL AWAY!!!

Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Zack Malibu to his left. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back here with a very special guest. He is the most decorated wrestler in the history of this company, an OAOAST Original, the cornerstone of the OAOAST... As Josh gets midway through his sentence, Zack looks off-screen and sees a familiar face. Josh stops, then looks over, as well, to see Alfdogg standing to his right, with a grin on his face. After a few seconds of silence, Alf speaks. ALF Hey, thanks for the introduction, Josh...but I thought this was Zack's interview? JOSH Well, actually I was talking...um...*scratches head* ALF You know what, it's OK. You see, you actually left out something. Our friend Zack here is also a three-time OAOAST World champion. *crowd cheers* ALF The ONLY man to hold that title three times. The crowd cheers again, as the smile now leaves Alf's face. ALF But after tonight's over...he's gonna have company in that group...me. After I rip through those other four bozos...including your pal, Bohemoth...*I* will be the reigning, three-time OAOAST World champion. And on the way, the Deadly Alliance will read you your "Eulogy"...if you catch my drift. Zack looks unimpressed, but Josh seems nervous as he struggles to hold the mic. ZACK Well then...good luck to you, Alf. ALF Good luck? C'mon Zack, that's all you have to say? ZACK Well, what do you want me to say, Alf? Do you want me to tell you that I hope you don't win the title? That I have some type of psychic ability that's showing me the outcome of that match? I'll tell you this...you're going into that match a marked man, the leader of the Deadly Alliance. An OAOAST Original. Now maybe they're not trying to phase you out as much as me, but the fact remains that in many ways, you and I are alike. We're originals. We're former World Champions. We lead some of the top talent in the world today...and after tonight, we'll have both had our asses kicked by PRL, Landon Maddix, and Bohemoth. Alf, who was enjoying the flattery, now scowls. ZACK Now, where we differ, Alf, is that you like to let that overconfidence blind you. Here you are, bragging before you've even set foot in the ring. Do you even realize what's at stake here? The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, with not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR guys blocking your chance to wrap it around your waist. Now Brickston, he's a wild card. He's gone a long way recently, and that thirst for championship gold is going to be tough to quench. Then you've got Maddix, who will do anything...ANYTHING...to get that belt. I hope you've got your Alliance on alert, because you know that his crew won't be far behind. Tha Puerto Rican, let's face it, he doesn't get the credit he deserves sometimes, but look at how far he's come. Can you really afford to discount him. Then there's Bo. Now I may be biased, but speaking as someone who was on the losing end of that powerhouse several times, I assure you that just when you think he's down and out, he's not. So instead of coming here and getting mouthy with me, mugging for the camera and playing hotshot, why not do this...go into your dressing room, into the parking lot, into catering...wherever you need to be, and FOCUS. ALF What're you, like a zen master now or something, Zack? ZACK Far from it. I'm just tired of people taking things for granted. Things that people strive for, and bust their ass for are not ready to be handed over. If you think it's going to be that easy tonight, so be it. I'm just putting you on notice that you might want to start giving credit where it's due. Zack starts to walk off, then comes back into the scene. ZACK Oh, and tell your boys I'll be seeing them in a bit. Zack walks off, leaving Alfdogg to dwell on what he's just said, as we head out to the arena. COLE And now it's time for our Heartland title match, Denzel Spencer the challenger as a result of his victory in the Heartland Halloween Hootenanny earlier in the day! Let's go to the ring! by Stevie Wonder hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Denzel Spencer walks to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica, weighing in at 220 pounds...DENNNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Denzel Spencer, a popular, promising young athlete, looking to win OAOAST gold for the first time! Denzel rolls inside, and poses on the buckles. Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER And his opponent...from South of Heaven, weighing in at 220 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance, he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNDMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NIIIIIIIIIIIIINE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUU SSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! Sandman walks down the aisle, and climbs onto the apron, then steps through the ropes and removes his bandanas. He hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE Big opportunity for Denzel here, if he could end the 13-month title reign of Sandman9000! Sandman circles the ring with Denzel, and ties up. He grabs Denzel in a side headlock, then delivers a shot to the throat. He then backs Denzel into the ropes, and whips him across. Denzel ducks a clothesline, and hits him with a flying forearm! Denzel picks up Sandman, and backs him into a corner, then fires off right hands, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6... Sandman brings Denzel out of the corner, and delivers an inverted atomic drop! He then waits for Denzel to get to his feet, and attempts a YAKUZA KICK~!, but Denzel ducks and hands Sandman one of his feet, then flips over and does a forward roll on the mat, taking Sandman over with the leverage! COLE Nice move there, as Denzel getting in some nice offense at the outset! Denzel quickly legsweeps Sandman while on the mat, then hops up and hits a senton splash! COLE And look at the quickness of Denzel Spencer! 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel picks up Sandman, then places his head under Sandman's chin, and sits out, executing a jawbreaker! Sandman rolls to the outside, as Denzel plays to the crowd. Denzel then makes his way over, and attempts a PLANCHA~!...but Sandman sidesteps him, and Spencer lands with a thud on the floor! COACH COLE Nice of you to add something to the match, Coach! Sandman paces for a second to catch his breath, then picks up Denzel and tosses him back inside. He then reaches under the apron, and grabs a trashcan full of various weapons, and tosses it into the ring, and also grabs a chair. Sandman slides in, then drops the chair, and grabs a road sign out of the trashcan, then brings it down on the back of Denzel! COLE And Sandman going to work with the weapons now! Sandman drops the sign on Denzel's face, then drops a leg! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman backs Denzel into the corner, and goes to work with BOOT SCRAPES~!, then chokes him with his foot. He then empties the contents of the trashcan, and sets it mid-ring, then hooks Denzel, and executes a suplex onto it! COLE Big suplex right onto the trashcan! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman then sits Denzel up, and grabs the lid of the trashcan, hitting a seated dropkick from behind! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman follows up with a fisherman's suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Sandman going for quick pins, but Denzel hanging tough! Sandman picks up Denzel, and tosses him to the outside, then grabs a kendo stick and follows him out. As Denzel gets to his feet, Sandman delivers a shot to the back! COLE And laying in with that kendo stick! Sandman then waits for him to turn around, and delivers a shot to the gut! He then tosses the kendo stick back into the ring, and grabs Denzel from behind, tossing him into the steel steps! Sandman then rolls back inside and waits on Denzel. COLE The Heartland champion looking to extend his already record-setting reign! Denzel pulls himself onto the apron, and Sandman hooks him, then suplexes him back inside! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman then picks up Denzel and whips him into a corner, then charges...but Denzel gets his feet up! Sandman stumbles backwards, then charges again, but Denzel gets the feet up again! Denzel then climbs backwards to the top rope, and hits Sandman with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COLE Big move by Denzel! Can he follow up now, is the question! Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, then Sandman gets to his feet and whips Denzel into the ropes, but puts his head down, and gets hit with a SCISSOR KICK~! COLE Denzel with a scissor kick! And now Denzel should take the advantage! Denzel grabs the steel chair, and hits Sandman with it as he gets to his knees, then backs into the ropes and connects with a SHINING WIZARD~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Denzel almost got him there! Sandman may be in trouble! Denzel then picks up Sandman, and hits him with a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB~! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Denzel then picks up Sandman and sets up an Irish whip, but Sandman reverses. Denzel ducks a clothesline, then hits Sandman with a Harlem sidekick, sending Sandman to the floor! COLE Sandman to the outside, and Denzel in pursuit! Denzel climbs to the top rope, and hits Sandman with a MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR~! COLE And this time, the jump to the outside paying off in a big way for Denzel! Denzel rolls Sandman inside, then climbs to the top rope, waiting for him to get to his feet, and catches him with a HURRICANRANA~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE SO CLOSE! Denzel then scoops up Sandman, and drills him with the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 COLE And there it is! Could this be it? 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE NO! Sandman coming out of Denzel's patented Carribean Compactor! Denzel, stunned, climbs to the top once again, then jumps off, but this time Sandman catches him with a YAKUZA KICK~! COACH YES~! COLE And Sandman catches him this time! Sandman slowly picks up Denzel, and delivers a RELEASE TIGER SUPLEX~! COLE Denzel folded up like an accordion, and Sandman going for the kill! Sandman pulls Denzel's head up in between his legs, then hooks his arms, and drills him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And Sandman got it! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And it's Sandman once again! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNDMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NIIIIIIIIIIIIINE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUU SSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COACH See, Cole? You didn't need me to put Sandman over here! This match was never in doubt! COLE Maybe not to you, but Denzel gave it everything he had, especially after being in that match at Busch Gardens earlier! He deserves a lot of credit here! COACH Who's the champion, Cole? COLE Well, Sandman9000 is still the cham... COACH Exactly, stfu n00b HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR The Heavenly Rockers vs. James Blonde & Faqu vs. Zack Malibu & Sly Sommers vs. Reject & Thunderkid NEXT!

~MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 MUSICAL~ Directed by Molly Nerdly STARRING Alix Maria Spezia Maya Duncan Blanchard Molly Nerdly The Duncan household which has hosted a 24/7 title match, a short action film, and countless other odd events on OAOAST television now sees Alix, clad in a red and black striped polo shirt and black Capri pants, hunting through a medicine cabinet. She’s overjoyed to find some Chewable vitamin tablets. ALIX Hey this one has Fred Flintsone on it! Alix...(singing in Flintone's theme) Alix Spezia she's the modern cyber age pill popping fiend. From the town of LA, she's risking getting booked for a felony. Alix adds The Flintstones vitamins to her keep pile and goes back to her search, this time coming up with a gummy vitamin tablet. ALIX Holy wow! These are gummies! (singing in Flintone's theme) Gummies...gummies gummies I don't have a clever song for you. From this plastic bottle I hope I don't risk an OD! Alix’s committing of a federal offense is interrupted by Maya, appearing in her soccer uniform having just got home from practice. MAYA Hey, Alix? ALIX Woah! Are you DEA? MAYA Couldn't see over the steering wheel in the swat van. ALIX FDA? MAYA My addiction to those very same gummy vitamins ruined my career and destroyed my family. ALIX Daughters of the revolution? MOLLY Will we be doing this routine everytime you're caught snooping thorough someone's medicine cabinet and Jodie Foster's underwear drawer? ALIX Maybe? I dunno. Yes? MAYA Could you just pass me some Tums. I need 'em for an upset stomach. ALIX Silly Maya! Your stomach can't get upset. Its a stomach it has no feelings! Watch! Stomach, you're stupid and you suck and your favorite bands and TV shows are indicative of your stupidity and sucking. See? Not upset, not one bitty bit! MAYA When you wake up with a monster gut and your belly button looks like a BUTT, you'll know who to blame! I'm kind of depressed right now, Alix. Concerned, Alix slams the medicine cabinet shut and quickly walks towards Maya. ALIX What's wrong, honey bunches of oats? MAYA Its this stupid class election. The polls say I'm ahead, and all my friends told me not to worry. I've got the jocks, the skaters, the nerds, and the preps backing me. But, I'm still worried. I wanna be class president so I can make a difference in my school's community...and I wanna impress Austin Bradley. ALIX Gah! You're doing it to impress a boy? A miniaturized version of the oppressor? Crud, crud, crud! If your mom finds out that I found out, you're gonna enjoy the super cool sight of watching one grown woman attempt to flush another down a toilet. MAYA I'm only doing some of it to impress Austin. But, you just haven't seen him yet! He looks just like Chuck from Gossip Girl. He's really cool to. He's such a rebel. In 5th grade he once at thirty eggs in one sitting! ALIX So what? My dad once ate sixty chickens in one sitting. And they were alive! Maya gazes up to the heavens, as if Austin was to take the form of an angel and whisk her away to Limited Too. MAYA And when Austin smiles...Alix, you just don't know! ALIX Not hearing this! Not hearing this! Lolly lolly la-la-la-la-la-la, not hearing this! Maya, you don't need a man in your life to feel a good about yourself. A rich, beautiful blond chick is more than good enough. Anypoochie, you know you're gonna win. You're the most popular chick in the whole school. Your Mom's on TV, you sister's on TV, sometimes you're on TV, and ya know what being on TV means? It means you're better than normal people. MOLLY I don't claim to be the expert of 8th grade politics that Alix is, but I highly doubt you of all people have anything to worry about. MAYA Maybe not. But these dumb political attack ads are driving me crazy. Who's ever heard of running a political attack ad for an 8th grade election? I've never even met this Theodore Moneymaker guy, and he's talking all this junk about me like we're worst enemies. And JC, who takes ten minutes to form a compete sentence, is throwing around words like calling me a socialist. He doesn't even know what a socialist is. I guarantee because he looked off my paper on our social studies quiz that asked "What's a socialist" ALIX Maya, I know its tough. But hang in there. It'll be all over Tuesday, and we can celebrate with ice cream and maxing out your mom's credit cards. MAYA I just get the feeling its gonna get worse. And, maybe this guy is right. Maybe, I'm not qualified. Maybe I am stupid. ALIX Whatever! You're my favorite person in the world! It used to be Patrick from Sponge Bob, but then I found out he's a cartoon! And a starfish! And a libertarian! Talk about throwing the vote away. Why dontcha vote for a chimpanzee! Man, that'd make a great movie. Mister Chimp goes to Washington. (singing in Flintone's theme) Mister...Mister Chimp you're about to go to Washington, from the monkey cages I hope you won't throw your poop at me. MAYA Yeah that's great, but can we talk about some important things. I.e. me! ALIX Awwww Maya-Pieya, don't worry like that, ya know. Cause guess what, girlie girl, one day you're gonna be this really rich and successful whatever it is ya wanna be when ya grow up and you'll be livin in some killer penthouse in New York with gargoyles on the roof, real gargoyles so they can douse your foes in flames before they bribe the doorman to let em in, and all these dudes at school will be on the streets homless, and you'll pass by and you'll say "Hey, dude from school, you look like you're doing great." "Uh, no, I'm homless." "Oh yeah!" And then you can say "Hey your pillow looks like some magazines I tossed out." "Its probably is, I rummage through the dumpsters around here." MAYA That would be kind of cool. But I don't wanna wait six to ten more years for the chance that maybe they'll be on the street corner near my regular coffee shop. I can't wait, honestly. The election is in a few weeks, and I'm really worried I might lose! I don't wanna disappoint mom. When she was in kindergarden she drafted a constitutional amendment to make Candyland the fifty first state. ALIX Darn that Gloppy the Molasses Monster for selling her out for special interest groups. MAYA I want this election more than anything, and I don't want Theodore whoever ruining it and then making me look stupid. That stuff he says really hurts my feelings. But, I wish there was something I could do to get my message out better. ALIX Oh wow! Do you feel that little tingle on your left shoulder. MAYA No, not really. ALIX Awesome you don't have skin cancer! But guess who does have cancer? The JC Pennington campaign, and guess who's the...I don't really know where this going, but wow do I have a really really awesome idea! Follow me! Alix whisks Maya out the bathroom, and we cut directly to the enormous circular front driveway where a rusted, disgusting Geo Metro sits in total contrast to the luxury home and well-manicured lawn. Making it even more of an eyesore is a gigantic megaphone on the roof, and giant S painted on the hood for Swag. Alix beams proudly at what most would consider to be an abomination against the automobile industry. Maya tries to feign appreciation, but understandably fails in such an action. MAYA Wow when did the chariot of the damned get in the driveway and how many zombies did they fit in it? ALIX It’s a Geo Metro, hey-yo! Yeah, traded the Jag for it. MOLLY My word! You couldn’t have! ALIX Couldn’t I…have? I so fleeced this dude. This car has no speedometer, so ya know what that means? Can’t ever go over the speed limit! Just another awesome idea from the same girl that brought you closing your eyes while your driving to avoid ever having to stop at traffic lights. MOLLY Alix, I haven’t a clue as what to say. But I imagine if I did it would be some combination of the words you’re, an, and idiot. Alix playfully pretends to swat Molly up the head for her comment. ALIX Lay off, Mol! You act like I gave black people the right to vote! MAYA Is Mom cool with this? ALIX Ugh, Maya! If my ancestor’s had waited for your mom’s permission before they killed sixteen border agents and snuck into this country I wouldn’t be here sharing this beautiful moment with you. MAYA You’re so right. I’m sorry. Why do I doubt you? ALIX Oh my god, awesome idea part gazillion! You wanna drive? MAYA Does Jade sleep with a lifesize Bohemoth cardboard standup and shower with it only to continually and hilariously be shocked at it crumbling beneath a steady blast of water, and then run into my room and scream “Maya, look! My world is over!”? ALIX She sure does! Uno momento, how old are you? MAYA Twenty nine. ALIX Hop on in, Speed Racer! Before Alix can realize the newest crime she’s about to commit, Maya tries to jimmy open the door. After a quick struggle she manages to do just that, and unfortunately quite a bit more as she yanks the door totally off. This, however, is the least of the worries in Molly’s mind. MOLLY When the art student is the most clear thinking and responsible adult, we’re bound to have a myriad of problems, least of all that she’s only 13! ALIX (to Maya) Hop on out, Speed Fibber! Quick Liar! Fast truth exaggerator! MAYA (to Molly as she gets out the car) Thanks a lot, BUTT breath. MOLLY How rude! ALIX No kidding, that wasn’t very presidential like. MAYA Sorry. Thank you, booger breath. ALIX Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest leader of the ninth grade model UN! MAYA Those guys are losers! MOLLY Terribly inaccurate! I was ambassador to Papa New Guinea in model UN, and I do not consider myself a loser of any sort. MAYA Well you still have BUTT breath. BUTT breath. While Molly and Maya trade catty looks over the loser status of the Model UN, everybody files into what’s barely above covered wagon on the desirable transportation modes ranking. Maya grabs shotgun, leaving Molly and the Siclopse to squeeze into a back seat that’s stained from smoke, dust, and various liquid spills. MAYA So, what’s the plan? ALIX Look lemme tell ya something about teenagers, because Ally used to be one, and sometimes I dress like one to get older men to hit on me and boost my self-esteem. Teenagers love to set homeless dudes on fire. Teenagers also love combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. AKA Music, baaaaaaaby! Rock n roll, motha truckaaaaaaaaa! Yeah! Sooooo, Ally Cat with the help of Hayley Williams of Paramore… Miss Williams is chilling in the disaster area known as the backseat. HAYLEY Hi, Maya! MAYA What’s up? ALIX (CONT.) Has totally created the official Maya Duncan-Blanchard 08 theme song! In the backseat, Molly groans. MAYA Who’s the dude? ALIX What the donkey? What dude? MAYA The dude tied up and gagged. ALIX Ohhhhh that dude. That's just Terry Taylor. MAYA Hi, Uncle Terry! Why are you bound and gagged? ALIX My dad ordered hit from jail, or whatever, on a dude named Jesus Ramierz. And so like I didn't get him any thing for daddy's day, so this is my way of saying sworry, papa! But, like I couldn't find Jesus, so I just used Terry. You don't mind if we look for a secluded alley to dump him in? MAYA I don't care as long you get me back in time for the "Say Yes To The Dress" rerun. ALIX Hayley? HAYLEY Sounds like fun! MOLLY May I at least go on record as being the only one to state to how monumentally stupid this idea just may be? ALIX Molly, I’m gonna take you to a very special place called the ledge. The Know Ledge. Denying a young Jewish girl’s dreams is a lot like denying the holocaust ever happened, and then making a movie about a Scottish warrior leading his brave overmatched army against the oppressive English, monarchy. This town already has one Mel Gibson, we don’t need another! MOLLY Maya, you must think what your mother would say! ALIX I know what my mommy would say “Alix, why are you over thirty, childless, and still single?” HAYLEY Is that my cue? That’s my cue isn’t it? Hayley reaches over Molly and presses play on the tape deck. That sends the beat to this classic American hit booming out the megaphone! The Geo Metro and its air polluting, safety inspection failing ways, lumbers out the driveway and into the million dollar streets of Beverly Hills. From its exhaust comes a wealth of blue smoke that certainly can’t be healthy for global warming. Through a microphone that seems to have been jacked from a police cruiser, Alix sings to the neighborhood. ALIX (singing) Maya! If the 4th graders keep peeing in the swimming pool, who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If they leave something weird and its stinky and brown who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If you think there’s a kid bringing weed to school Who can you call? Alix! With the vocals on hold, Alix can bust out her Dancing With the Stars worthy moves, throwing herself fully into the running man. Problematically, this requires her to take both hands off the wheel and causes her feet to bounce on the acceleration, which would lead them to crash into passing traffic if Hayley wasn’t reaching over and taking hold of the wheel. Maya’s is just about ready to sink down into already incredibly low half broken seat out of embarrassment with Alix’s soulful wailings, until she notices Austin Bradley and several of his friends skateboarding down the street. Sinking low, simply won’t be enough to prevent the hell she’ll feel if she’s seen, thus she goes as far as to try and stuff herself beneath the glove compartment. But, Alix reaches a stop sign, and being the good driver that she is comes to a complete stop. This gives Austin and his crew just enough time to catch up to the car. AUSTIN Hey, Maya! I thought that might be you. What’s up, I thought you guys drove a Jag? MAYA Uh, well, you know what they say. A Geo Metro comes straight off the assembly line of Heaven. AUSTIN That’s real high level. I gotta get there sometime. I love your song by the way. Very creative you got killer songwriting skills. Smiling sheepishly, Maya nods thank you as she notices Austin’s friends eagerly offering their agreement and thumbs up. AUSTIN We’re all voting for you. Dallas over here he says’s he gonna hack into JC’s phone and every time he tries to make a call he’s gonna hear this song. DALLAS Its awesome, Miss Spezia. ALIX Don’t call me Miss Spezia it reminds me of my mother, and she’s a disgusting whore. KIDS ALIX Vote for Maya! Alix speeds away with Maya too wrapped up in making wedding plans for her ever to even get embarrassed by Alix’s commentary on her mother as well her return to parodying songs of the 80’s. Hayley beats a drum beat out on the window as Alix ratchets up the octaves even higher. From the posh million dollar homes, people empty out wondering what this musical racket is all about. Amazingly they aren’t totally horrified by the song, rather they seem a bit entertained by the oddball shenanigans! ALIX (singing) I ain't voting for no republican! I ain't voting for no republican! If you seein roaches humping the cafeteria bread, who can you vote for? Maya! If there’s mean stuff on your Myspace that’s getting said oh who ya gonna vote for? Maya! I ain't voting for no republican! I ain't voting for no republican! Who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If you wanna partay on Jerry Buss’ boat...just vote for Maya! HAYLEY I ain't voting for no republican! ALIX I hear they don’t watch Idol! HAYLEY I ain't voting for no republican! MAYA Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ALIX Who you gonna vote for? Maya! Mm…if you wanna dose of the coolest chick on the west coast, baby You better vote! Maya! HAYLEY Voting makes me feel good! ALIX I ain't voting for no republican! Another stop sign brings a halt to the clunking movement of the Geo Metro, but not to Alix’s loud passionate gospel. What does call an end to her singing is when the car is accosted by a bum who with his dirty and savage apperance looks something akin to grizzly Adams. He pounds on the roof in manic crazed fit, almost like Godzilla attempting to bowl over a building in Tokyo. This outrageous individual suitably disturbs the rest of the car, but Alix ignores the smell of dumpsters and crack pipes to lean in for a closer inspection. Suddenly her eyes brighten at the thought that maybe she knows this creature of the streets. ALIX Oh my god! Johnny Jax! Whoa! Friggin awesome! Dude, wow, its like so good to see you! JOHNNY Alix, please, can you spare any change for an old friend? ALIX Eww, no. JOHNNY Please. I have aids. ALIX I have mega aids. Mega aids>regular aids, and Alix zooms away down the street, leaving the transient with hands in tears. Her catchy song and unusual vehicle have earned her quite the audience as children and teenagers now follow her as though the Geo Metro were a mechanical pied piper. Together they dance in joy and song, delighting in the whimsical music. ALIX (singing) Don't get caught voting for Pennington…oh no! When it comes time to vote unless you wanna get kicked in the throat I think you better vote Maya! Ooh... who you gonna vote for? Maya! Who you gonna for? Maya! Ah, I think you better vote for Maya! Everyone out the car! Its time to drop it like its hot! Without any concern to Terry Taylor gagged inside the car, the troupe decides to join their revelers for an impromptu parade next to the slow moving vehicle. Leading the celebrating audience they perform ALIX I can't hear you… CROWD Maya! ALIX Who you gonna vote for? CROWD Maya! HAYLEY Louder! CROWD Maya! HAYLEY Who you gonna vote for? CROWD Maya! ALIX Who ya gonna vote for? CRAAAAAASH! No, crash bandicoot is not a candidate in the election; crash is precisely what the once smooth sailing operator-less car does upon reaching a rather sharp curve. The Siclopse shows the only saving grace of the destruction of the Metro, that it collided with a palm tree and not an actual car or person. The gathered crowd is of course in dismay over an abrupt and violent ending to the wonderful sing a long, and Alix looks on in bemused shock. AUSTIN Aw man, Maya your car! Are you okay? MAYA Marry me. ALIX Who woulda thought that would happen? MOLLY Yes. Who would’ve thought that could that happen in a city with an elevation of 330 feet. Who would’ve tought that would happen on a stretch of road known as dead man’s curve. Who indeed. ALIX BUTT breath. ~MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 MUSICAL~ Alix Maria Spezia...as herself Molly Nerdly...as her herself Maya Duncan-Blanchard...as herself Hayley Williams...as her herself Terry Taylor...recovering in hospital

Dressed up as Joe the Plumber, we find Tony Brannigan at our backstage interview position alongside Mr. Dick and Malaysia, the two of them amused by the OAOAST Original’s choice of costume. BRANNIGAN With me right now… MR. DICK Zip it, Brannigan. Nobody wants to hear from you, and judging by your ridiculous getup I’d say nobody wants to look at you either. Luckily your guest is somebody people want to look and hear from, that of course being me! Ya see, I told everybody bigger and better things laid ahead for Mr. Dick. First I took care of Baron Windels and moments ago Malaysia and I took care of that MILF -- Mother I Love to Fuck Up! -- Krista and her daughter Jade who’d have to commit rape in order to get laid! Wait a minute. MALAYSIA MR. DICK Now that I think about it, her attraction to Bohemoth makes sense now. They both have rape fetishes! Malaysia nods, seemingly getting off on the suggestion. BRANNIGAN MR. DICK Malaysia and I, we’re down with getting a little kinky. And we can tell by her cheerleader’s outside Jade’s into role playing. If Krista really wanted to solve Jade’s self-confidence problem she’d have her become my head cheerleader. BRANNIGAN You are in for hell and then some when word of this interview gets back to Krista. MR. DICK And I’ll put her back in her place just like I did tonight. Like I said, Brannigan, I climbed another rung on that ladder of success and now I’m ready to take the next step. But before we think about the future I’m gonna savor the present. After some well deserved R & R it‘ll be straight to the top for Mr. Dick. Learn to love it or choke on it! Backstage, we see Nathaniel Black walking to the ring. Head down, the Englishman is deep in concentration, limbering up his lariating arm. As he marches down the halls though he's suddenly brought to a stop, as an arm sticks out in front of him... that of Alfdogg. ALFDOGG Good luck tonight. Alf sticks out his hand for a handshake... ...and even though Black gives him the brush off, Alf still smiles and goes back to his pre-main event warm-ups. .:CUE: "Chelsea Dagger", The Fratellis:. With that we go back out into the arena. The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro to the song, boos ringing out as Nathaniel Black eventually steps out onto the stage. Black raises his arms in the air and stomps to the ring confidently, BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, to determine the number one contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at November Reign 2008! Introducing first, from London, England. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty eight pounds... he represents Cucaracha Internacional! One third of the OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions... NNAAAAATHHAAAANNIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black slides underneath the bottom rope and gives the crowd a contemptful look as he raises his arms in the air again. COLE This man has pushed Zack Malibu to the limit on more than one occassion in one on one competition. Tonight, he has the chance to step into the spotlight again, this time with a main-event berth at November Reign. For a man cast on the professional wrestling scrapheap over three years ago, what a story that would be! COACH And you can thank Landon Maddix for realising this man's potential. A true leader, unlike the idiot who shipped him off to Japan. That idiot would be AngleSault, by the way. COLE I gathered, yeah. Removing his belt and entrance jacket, Black warms up in his corner. COLE Well, if Landon had his way, I wonder if Black would even have this opportunity. He seems reluctant enough to let Black compete against Zack Malibu, let alone against the World Champion, with the gold on the line. Perhaps Landon sees Black as a threat to his leadership... he was leader to Blonde and Faqu before Landon came along, remember? COACH Oh, here we go with the consipiracy theories. Fact is, you don't know what you're talking about. Nat fighting Zack Malibu wasn't in the best interests of Cucaracha Internacional. Nathaniel Black becoming World Champion is a totally different proposition. Suddenly, the Miami faithful come to life as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company strikes up. Sweeping his purple and black robe through the entrance way, out heads Leon Rodez with spirits high and fives similar. Slapping a few hands he stops in the aisle and strikes a winning pose for the cameras. BUFFER And his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, he is "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon jumps to the ring apron and blows a kiss to the people before entering the ring. COLE Leon Rodez feeling good tonight in Miami! COACH That's probably not the only thing he's been feeling. Removing of his robe, Leon leaps to the turnbuckles... COACH There's at least five Nerdlys here tonight, I'm sure at least one of them's still on speaking terms with him. COLE Would you quit it!? ...ahem. Anyway, as I was saying, Leon leaps to the turnbuckles and gets the crowd going. Black doesn't look impressed at his opponent's showmanship, or the cocky smirk on his face as he climbs off the turnbuckles and decides he's finally ready for action. Referee Charles Robinson checks both men out for weapons, as the chants of "LE - ON!" ring out in the arena. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE So here we go. One of these two men will challenge for the OAOAST World Championship at November Reign. Two great athletes on the cusp of the main event scene, who've never had that big chance to grab the brass ring, one of them will finally get that chance next month when we eminate live from Anaheim, California! Black and Leon walk into the middle of the ring and go face to face. The smirk on Leon's face stays, until it is FORCIBLY removed by a hard slap from the Englishman! But even that doesn't dampen Leon's spirits too much and he gives Black a 'not bad', 8/10 for his execution. COACH Why do I get the feeling that ain't the first time Leon's been slapped in his life? Not looking happy with his happy-go-lucky opponent, Black takes a big swing at him. Leon ducks though and starts teeing off with right hands right back! Five or six rock Black against the ropes, setting up an irish whip. Drop down forces Black up and over, then he goes down under a leapfrog. Black comes to a stop and takes another big swing, again getting ducked. A boot to the gut sets Black up for Rodez, coming off the ropes behind. Black recovers and swings around, but Leon re-adjusts and goes through the legs with a drop toehold. Learning his lesson, Black doesn't rush in and instead kicks at the ropes in frustration as the waiting Leon just shrugs. The angry Black then tells Rodez to 'cut that rubbish out', although not in so many words, before giving him another slap across the face! COLE Just total disrespect on Nathaniel Black's part. COACH You get what you give in this game Cole. There ain't nothin' to be smirkin' about here, this is number one contendership on the line, serious business. Shaking it off, Leon asks the Brit what his problem is, earning himself yet another slap! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I doubt Black would be slapping Leon around quite so much if he didn't think he could get away with it. Black tells referee Robinson to shut his mouth, the moment of distraction allowing Leon to come back at him... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. COLE Well maybe Leon isn't going to take the slapping lying down after all! With Black reeling Rodez attempts an irish whip, but it's reversed sending him arrowing towards the turnbuckles. Reaching out Leon plants his hands on the top rope and floats over the top rope to the apron, catching Black charging towards him with an elbow from the outside. Rodez then slides himself back inside underneath the bottom rope, Rockers style, reaching up and pulling Black down with a sunset pin... 1... 2... No. Leon scores with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Quickly up Nathaniel charges once more. A sidestep sends Black towards the turnbuckles but he puts on the brakes, sticking his foot on the middle turnbuckle and his elbow right back into Leon's jaw. That finally allows the technical Englishman to get a grip on his opponent and apply a 3/4 headlock, controlling him. COLE This is what Black has to do in this one, slow the pace down. Two contrasting styles in this match, Black technical and aggressive, Leon exciting and impactful. The crowd show their lack of appreciation for Black's pace slowing by jeering and hissing. So a big cheer goes up when Leon escapes the headlock... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gives Black another chop! Black isn't one to shy away from the striking game though and he fires back with an elbow strike, daring Leon to come back at him. COACH So much for slowing the pace down. COLE Well, I don't think he's going to get a fight if this what he's after... Shaking it loose, Leon lines up... faking Black out with a forearm and instead grabbing a side headlock. COLE Yup, thought so. Leon too smart for all that. Black quickly shoves Rodez off into the ropes and braces himself, knocking him down on the rebound with a shoulder tackle. As he drops down looking to grab a headlock Leon quickly scoots away though, quick to his feet and catching Black with another side headlock. Black seems to be getting frustrated, delivering a shot to the ribs. And a second. Shooting Leon off again, he lands with another hard shoulder tackle. Again he goes for the headlock on the mat, but again Leon proves a slippery customer, to his feet and back to the headlock of his own. COLE Leon will do this to you, he'll throw you off your game if you're not careful. And we know Black has a short temper. COACH Yeah, that ain't neccessarily a good thing for Rodez. After a couple of attempts to escape, Black puts the brakes on and finally takes a second to compose himself. Which seems to work. Placing a foot in the back of the knee he brings Leon down to size, escaping the headlock and into a hammerlock. He then wheels Leon around and kicks out the standing leg before Leon knows what's hit him, delivering a sharp Hammerlock DDT! COLE There we go, there's a nice move from Black. Black presses the advantage with a lateral press... 1... 2... No. Having kicked out, Leon grabs his arm, but so too does Black to contort it into an overhand wristlock. Leon climbs to his feet, reaching over his own head looking to find an escape route. Black catches him out by grabbing the other arm and crossing them over, strangling Leon with his own arms and forcing him down onto his knees. Placing the knee in the back he then looks for the submission. Inconveniently for the referee, Leon's arms are covering his mouth though so he can't get an answer, until The Silky Smooth One seperates his arms simply to shout a "NO" before they snap back together. COACH Nat's finally slowed this thing down now, got everything going his way. We've seen what he can do against Leon's bestest buddy before, Zack Malibu, once he starts dictating the pace he can pick anybody apart. COLE But Leon isn't like Zack Malibu. Zack, we know, relished the chance to take the fight to Black and go toe to toe, hold for hold with him, test his skills. We've already seen that Leon is trying to stay elusive and not play into Black's hands by trying to match up to him. COACH And look where it's gotten him, huh? Stomping his foot to get the crowd going, Leon starts to try and climb to his feet. Black does his best to stop him though, forcing Leon to take an alternative route and crawl back through Black's legs. With the arms tangled up Black feels himself losing his balance and has to let Leon go, leaving himself open for a schoolboy roll-up... 1... 2... No! A quick knee puts Black back in control, clubbing Leon across the back with a forearm. As Rodez falls to one knee Black comes off the ropes looking to follow up... but Leon suddenly springs up and delivers a Standing Dropkick! COLE Woah, out of nowhere a beautiful dropkick! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... No! Staying elusive, Leon evades a lunge from Black and comes off the ropes to deliver a big clothesline. Off the ropes again he delivers a second, this time leaving his feet to make sure he takes the Englishman down. Black is reeling as Leon comes off the ropes a third time, tucking and rolling... and having the Shack Attack BLOCKED, Black catching the arm, wringing it and bringing Rodez down into the canvas at an awkward angle with a Single Arm DDT! Turning under the arm Black then converts, locking on a Fujiwara Armbar! COLE Another submission hold on the arm, this time torquing away on the shoulder. COACH Just as Leon was starting to build a little momentum, he got cut down. Story of his life, huh? Black leans back applying pressure on the arm, referee Robinson looking for a submission. Pushing up, Leon refuses to quit though and manages to force Black off his back. He then tucks forward, trying to roll free of the hold... but Black reaches out and catches his leg, stacking him on his shoulders! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Leon almost got caught there! Black quickly pounces and locks on a simpler armbar before Leon can get to his feet, sitting across the back to keep his opponent grounded. On 3 of his all fours, Rodez again says no to the question of quitting. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Again the crowd's support triggers something in Leon and he finds a way to his feet, Black hanging onto the armbar regardless. He delivers a knee to the ribs to try and put Leon back down, but Leon fights up again. The Grand Rapids Golden Child then begins to circle around, bringing Black with him. This tactic seems to confuse Black, leaving him unprepared as Rodez suddenly grabs the back of his tights and drops to the mat, sending the Englishman sprawling through the ropes and to the outside! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE There's an innovative escape. COACH 'Innovative', aka pulling the tights, if Michael Cole likes you. Picking himself up on the floor, Black climbs right back to the apron... and goes right back down, as Leon leads with a shoulder, knocking him off his feet and causing him to land face-first on the apron. As Black staggers backwards, Leon then leaves his feet and WIPES BLACK OUT WITH A PESCADO!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE The Grand Rapids Golden Child taking a risk! And it paid dividends! Leon's had a lot of problems on a personal level recently, so this is a huge opportunity to get his career back on track. COACH I just wanna add at this point how nearly all of these 'personal problems' have been of his own doing. Since you won't. Since, as we've established, you like him and he can get away with anything, like poligamy. COLE That's only if you're married. COACH And until then it's okay as far as your concerned!? Some role-model for the children you are! Shaking out the pain in his right arm, Leon picks Black up and dumps him back into the ring. Heading to the top rope Rodez then takes off with a majestic Flying Crossbody Block... 1... 2... NO! Waiting on Black, Leon lands a well-placed jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... ...and MISSING with the enziguri! Black is able to duck and now lies in wait, arms out-stretched. COLE Could be looking for the Crossface Chickenwing here, Leon could be in big trouble! As Leon picks himself up Black lunges forward and grabs him, wrapping the right arm up in the chicken wing position. A desperate Leon swats away the attempts at the crossface though. And eventually, he finds his way to the ropes to force a break! COACH Oh, that's a cheap way out. COLE That's a valuable escape, if Black slapped that Crossface Chickenwing on then Leon's dreams of a World Title shot at November Reign would have been put pay to. COACH Not to mention his dreams of filling up his Nerdly booty bingo card, put pay to for a while. Unless they were willing to do all the work and go easy from the shoulder up, I guess. Black gives a clean break, long enough to keep the referee happy, before striking Leon in the ribs with a double palm thrust. Black then delivers a trio of shots to the shoulder before he's backed off again. Pulling himself off the ropes Leon walks into a wring of the arm and another shot to the shoulder, dropping him to one knee. Black then looks to apply the Crossface Chickenwing again, but again Leon is able to escape before the hold's applied. But Black has the bit between his teeth now and he rushes in... ...a bit too fast, winding up being pulled down across the middle rope. COLE Uh-oh. With Black all hung up, Rodez does a one-armed jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of the Englishman! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! Black comes back off the ropes and into space for Rodez to deliver a Shack Attack!! The clothesline affects Leon's arm, but he puts it aside to make a pin attempt... 1... 2... No! Grabbing a hold of Black by the wrist, Leon looks for an irish whip but his arm gives out on him. Black lands a right hand to the shoulder to break free of the grip before landing with a kneelift. Pulling a quick 360, Black then roars back with a BLACK LARIAT, knocking Rodez right off his feet!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A big clothesline from Black this time. And unlike Leon, he got ALL of it. Hook of the leg... 1... 2... No! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE This Miami crowd trying to get behind Leon Rodez, trying to will him towards a World Title opportunity! As Leon climbs to his feet holding his shoulder Black gets himself into position, looking to load up again. He times the rotation and comes roaring again with the BLACK LARIA... NO! Leon ducks the line! Putting the brakes on, Leon turns back to Black and rolls with an attack of his own, delivering a Rolling Sole BUTT to the midsection. Black doubles over for a second, before Rodez leaps onto his shoulder looking for a hurricanrana. But the Englishman catches Leon and manages to alter his direction, going backwards instead of forwards and hanging Rodez up throat and arm first across the top ring rope! The crowd groan as Leon falls back off the ropes and staggers around, into the waiting BLACK LARIAT!! Cover... 1... 2... NO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Black looks angry, but doesn't dwell on it too long and quickly grabs hold of Leon trying to apply the Crossface Chickenwing again! COLE No let up from Black, looking for the submission now as he struggles to keep Leon down. Able to get to his feet, Leon continues to fight off the submission attempt and goes into reverse, ramming Black backwards into the turnbuckles. Black keeps a hold of the arm, so Leon rams him again. And a third time. Setting Black on the top turnbuckle Leon then looks to follow, but Black fends him off. A couple of headbutts to the midsection knocks Leon off the middle rope and to his feet, where Black spins him around and looks for the Chickenwing again! COACH Boy, Black is just relentless here. COLE No kidding, he's standing on the middle rope and still trying to apply the hold, the referee needs to start counting or something. Before he can do so, Leon starts landing elbows on Black just as he gets the hold locked in. Black's lofty position soon proves a detriment more than a help as the elbows land and he loses the hold. Reaching back, Leon lifts Black off the ropes and carries him in a piggyback into the centre of the ring, before sitting out with the backpack stunner!! COLE Banana Hammock! Big show of strength from Leon! Leon can't follow up though, the effects of Black's jaw jamming into Leon's shoulder being felt by both men. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Eventually, Rodez is able to respond to the fans and rolls on top of his opponent... 1... 2... NO! COLE Only two. Only two for Leon. That moment's hesitation, or more recuperation than hesitation, could have been the crucial factor there. COACH Come on, it's gonna take more than that to put down Nat. We've seen him get up after plenty worse. COLE Well that's true. Black is tough, no doubt. Both men pick themselves back up and it's Leon looking for the submission now as he trips out Black's legs, looking for the Liontamer. Black gets his feet tucked in though, pushing Rodez backwards. Coming off the ropes behind him Leon is able to tuck and roll onto Black with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... NO, Black bridges up off his back! COLE Wow, great leg strength, great neck strength, just strength all around to bridge up off the mat with a 218 pound man laying on your chest. Black turns over and finds himself on top of Leon, crossing the arms underneath in preparation for the Brittania Bomb... but Leon delivers a backdrop, falling back on top of Black again with the arms still crossed... 1... 2... NO! COLE No bridge there, that one almost caught Black by surprise! COACH He just about got those arms untied in time. First up, Leon quickly hits the ropes. Black shuffles into his path and drops down to force Leon up and over. The Englishman then aims low with a headbutt, but Leon is able to go up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! Black rolls Leon back up to his feet and knocks the wind out of him with a European uppercut! Up against the ropes, he delivers a second European uppercut. Black then hangs Leon's throat across the top rope and chokes him as long as he can get away with without a warning, giving the ropes a sharp tug as soon as the referee walks over. Leon's neck snaps off the ropes and momentum rolls him through to his feet. Sizing him up, Black comes off the ropes with a follow up clothesline in mind. Still alert, Leon sidesteps and runs Black into the ropes looking for a reverse sunset, but Black hangs onto the ropes. COLE Leon looking for quick roll-ups, quick pinfalls, trying to catch Nathaniel Black out. But Black is as wily as he is rugged. COACH He's smart too. COLE I... yeah. Wheeling away from the ropes Black attempts a powerslam, but Leon goes up and over the top. Stepping up off the bottom rope he puts himself up on Nathaniel's shoulders, tumbling forward looking for a victory roll. Black counters by sitting into the move though. He doesn't stay with the pin, instead tying up Leon's legs and turning him over with an inverted Texas Cloverleaf applied! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Submission hold... variation of the R-Lock that Reject's been using in recent weeks, how ironic would this be? COACH How poetic would it be? COLE How would it be 'poetic'? COACH Roses are red, violets are blue, first Reject then me, sucks to be you! COLE You should work for Hallmark. Or, anywhere but here really. Rodez shakes his head in pain as Black stands over him putting the pressure on. Referee Robinson is right there looking for the tapout as Leon's hands hang on his head. Black yells at his opponent to give up, but he refuses to do so and starts to try and crawl forward in search of the ropes. Hand over hand Leon crawls across the mat, just inches away from the break... ...when Black starts to walk backwards and drag him away! COLE Uh-oh. Those ropes were within reach, but suddenly seem so, so far away. COACH And those World Title dreams are so far away too, Nathaniel Black has the OAOAST's number one swinger right where he wants him! COLE You might just be right. As Black pulls Leon to centre ring he nods his head, confident that that's it. But he doesn't reckon on Leon pushing up onto his hands again, this time rolling through and cradling him up! COLE Oh no, wait! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Aw, so close! Both men back up, Leon ducking underneath a clothesline and carrying himself into the ropes. A crossbody knocks Black down... 1... 2... No! Leon delivers a boot to the gut, then sends Black into a corner with an irish whip. From corner to corner The Silky Smooth One charges, taking off with a heat-seeking Superman Spear... which Black blocks by raising up his knees!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The injured right shoulder clashes with the knees and Leon rolls around in agony. COACH You see, he's smart. Everytime Leon gets this fast pace established and tries to get Black off his game, back he comes with a smart move like that. You've gotta give the guy credit! COLE I give Nathaniel Black a lot of credit. He's a tremendous wrestler. And he may be one big move away from a shot at the World Champion at November Reign. Pulling Leon back to his feet, Black short-arms him into a shoulder barge. Hanging onto the arm he pulls Leon in again. And a third time. Down to a knee goes Leon, arm hanging limp as Black stands dominantly over him. The Englishman taunts the Miami crowd by telling them that it's over for his hero, as he starts to cross the arms under the body again. But Leon suddenly spins out and grabs a hold of Black, running towards the corner with visions of sliced bread. A shove sends him off into the corner though, shoulder first into the turnbuckles! Leon slumps in the corner as Black gets a run-up, charging with a European uppercut... NO! A sidestep and Black clatters into the corner instead! As Black staggers out, Leon is then waiting on him with a SUPERKICK!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Shades of Zack Malibu, BIG Superkick!! Rodez falls on top with the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COACH And just like with Zack the Superkick ain't enough to put down Nat Black! Leon clutches his shoulder as he gets back to his feet, waiting on Black who's already halfway up. A boot sets the Brit up, Leon underhooking the ar... no, the double underhook is too much strain on the arm. Black is able to spin out behind and applies a chickenwing on the arm, again looking for the submission... ...but Leon counters with a drop toehold! As Black's face bounces off the mat he sits up, allowing Leon to pull him down in an Oklahoma Roll... 1... 2... NO!! COLE What is it going to take to keep Nathaniel Black down!? COACH Everything Rodez has got and maybe, hopefully, more. Black picks himself up in a corner and gets an elbow out to block a charge from Leon. From behind he grabs The Silky Smooth One in a half nelson, taking him for a backbreake... NO! Leon swings out and manages to find his feet onto the middle turnbuckle! A back kick catches Black in the head, creating space for Leon to find his feet on the top rope. Before he can dive though, Black charges Rodez and knocks his feet out from under him crotching him on the top turnbuckle! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That oughta knock him down a peg or two. Just as I was about to coin a new nickname for him too, The Nerdly Night Delight. COLE Maybe it would have been better left uncoined, that's awful. Climbing to the second rope Black brings Rodez to eye-level, before cracking him with a short headbutt! Black then starts to hook him up for a Superplex. Attempts to fight him off fail and Black has Leon in position, deciding to risk going to the top. Black gets his footing set and pulls Leon onto the top rope as well sending a buzz through the crowd as the two men hang high above them. COLE Look out here, high-risk coming up! Black sets himself one last time before bringing Leon off the top with the SUPERPLEX... ...BUT LEON ADJUSTS IN MID-AIR AND LANDS ON TOP!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A counter! Leon countered, he shifted his weight and came crashing down on top of Black! And now what? Rolling off of Black, Rodez quickly climbs back up the turnbuckles with his opponent knocked senseless on the canvas. Leon makes it to the top and lines Black up. Then, he takes off and tumbles through the air with the 450 SPLASH!!!! COLE NAILS IT! Hook of the leg by Leon... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Leon Rodez is going to November Reign! "Rock The Casbah" hits again as Leon rolls off of Black and punches the air in celebration, with his good arm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and the new number one contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship... LLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRROOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Leon Rodez, to the delight of this Miami crowd, has done it. He will face the World Heavyweight Champion at November Reign in what I'm sure many would say is a long overdue opportunity. What a match, what an effort! Leon continues to celebrate and you can imagine the rest I guess. Lots of cheering and stuff. THE THANKSGIVING WEEKEND TRADITION NOVEMBER REIGN SUNDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 30 LIVE EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! CALL YOUR CABLE/SATELLITE OPERATOR TO ORDER NOW!

*PATTY'S AMAZING ENTRANCES!* Amazing indeed as the festive pumpkin patch on the entry way becomes for more disturbing and far more spooky due in no small part to the thick white substance that gushes up like a geyser from beneath the leaves. Above this spontaneous and horrific ejaculation yellow pyro rains down from the ceiling in an epic pyro fall. The musical accompaniment comes from the enraged booing of the Miami audience as well as the perverse lyrics of Mister Dick's entrance song My dick locked in a cage, right Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick: so hot its stolen Your shit look like Gary Coleman My dick pink and big Your dick stinks like shit My dick got a Caesar do Your dick needs a tweezer dude A brilliant white pyro wall explodes on stage, overtaking the golden shower as well as the erection ruining semen geysers. With the wall "My dick" fades into Britney's Womanizer Womanizer, woman-womanizer You're a womanizer Oh womanizer, Oh you're a womanizer baby You, you, you are You, you, you are Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer Onto the stage, through a renewed and vigorous golden shower comes a white robe clad Mister Dick. The jeers are plentiful from the sold out audience, his sensual grinding in hip gyrations doing nothing to win over an angered fanbase. Outraging the crowd even more, The Human Hard On rips away his robe and gyrates his hip to showcase his prime asset that bulges through what's barely big enough to qualify as clothing. From behind him, the leather bound Malaysia, reaches through a legs and grabs a handful of his precious meat. They both purr in orgasmic pleasure, completely lost to the world around them. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following intergender tag match is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of thirty minutes! Now making their way to the ring, introducing first from Edmon, Alberta, Canada, she is the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns, she is Malaysia Nerdly! And her partner from San Antonio, Texas, he is a former OAOAST tag team champion, he is The Human Hard On, and a cocky prick, he is MISTER DICK!!! Strutting down the entrance ramp Mister Dick's muscular derriere jiggles like a jello mold from the constant thwacks Malaysia delivers to it from her whip. The Cocky Prick is in seventh heaven from such abuse, smiling one of the broadest smiles he's yet smiled. COLE This feud started quite some time ago when Malaysia Nerdly was challenged for the women's title by Jade in an effort to impress her mother. COACH Ain't no one ever told me how no chick with a star on the walk of fame is s'posed to get impressed by a belt so useless all of the competitors up and disappeared in 2006 and no one gave a god damn. Krista probably more impressed when Maya pants some kid at the bus stop. COLE As I was saying, Jade won the title from Malaysia at Angleslam the same night Krista won the Money In The Bank contract from Landon Maddix. The next night Mister Dick interrupted her coronation ceremony as Miss Money in the bank rambling the complete nonsense we've come to expect from anyone. Since then these two have competed in a posedown, fought at Zero Hour, and constantly traded insults back and forth leading to this major matchup. The first time a mother and daughter have ever teamed up in sports entertainment history! Mister Dick slides into the ring, where he furiously humps the ring mat as white lights swirl around the outside. Malaysia stands with a pointed heel on his back, scowling at the camera but infinitely delighted with her man's self pleasuring humping. COLE Its interesting how the OAOAST works. Jock Mulligan began has career as a silent, respectful, moderately dressed cowboy struggling to make a name for himself. Now, he's a vulgar, mean spirited jerk and we can see his cock ring through his tights. DJ’s spinning up my favorite song, hurry up and get a grove on. Light fantastic and it wont be long, don’t let the moment slip away. Cause you and I could find a pleasure, no one else has ever known. Feels like it is now or never, don’t want to be alone When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies When I grow up, be on tv, people know me, be on magazines When I grow up, Fresh and clean, number one chick when I step out on the scene The mixture of In My Arms and When I Grow Up brings a hugegarnguntanenormousgiganticmassivelargebig cheer from the jam packed arena! They, however, don't get to see their favorite mother daughter duo quite as soon as they might like. Yet. they're still given the visually appeasing sight of a bevy of female dancers, scantily clad for the Halloween occasion as zombofied sex pots. They perform a seductive haunting dance, their attempts to "gnaw" each others flesh turned sensual and arousing. But all that comes to a close when the following tune hits. That this is thriller, thriller night 'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try Girl, this is thriller, thriller night So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller, Thriller here tonight[ 'Cause this is thriller, thriller night There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl You know it's thriller, thriller night You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight With perhaps the greatest song in pop history blasting through the arena, the dancers engage in the legendary 80's dance the song made famous. Through their jerky movements, leg kicks, and stomps, Jade awkwardly maneuvers her way onto stage. Though dressed for the macabre occasion with a black cheerleader outfit, Little Miss California has a terrible time of keeping up with the stylized movements of the dancers. Her mom, costumed like Michael Jackson from the video with red pants and a flashy red leather vest, has no such difficulties and expertly leads the dance line as orange pyro sparklers flare from every corner of the video screen. Hoping to just get lost in wealth of barely dressed body, Jade tries to faintly mimic her mama's flashy soul train worthy dance moves. That is until Krista's movements see her grind her booty against the crotch of one highly attractive zombie. COACH The hell? Krista's looks like Alvin Ailey, and her daughter up there lookin like Papa Smurf down crawled up her granny panties! COLE Well, Krista used to be a dancer for Guns N Roses, so its not fair to compare Jade The anguish doesn't stop on the entrance ramp for Jade! A notoriously mobile dance, the Thirller carries the lovely zombies and the gorgeous queen of pop grooving down a ramp that's decorated in dazzling black and orange glitter. The Women's Champion simply settles for waving around her pom-poms and hoping she can match the beat of the song. BUFFER And the opponents, introducing first from Los Angeles, California, she is the OAOAST Women's Champion, Little Miss California, JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN! And her mother, also from Los Angeles, she is a New York Times best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame, star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love, she is the OAOAST's Miss Money In The Bank… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCAN!!!! COACH Scust at Jade leeching off her mother's success. She lettin being a celeb's kid go to her head. You didn't see Liv Tyler trynna get on Walk This Way with Aerosmith? Did Kate Hudson try and get a spot in Goldie Hawn's Death Becomes Her? Naw this shit ain't proper Krista style. This is pro wrestling style, where just 'cause someone's related they gotta tag with you, you know Krista ain't want nothing to do with this. Wearing pants, Krista has no reason to bother with her upside down leg hanging trick. Thus she invites Jade to take over the role. Jade isn't exactly enamored with such duty, but Kris' constant prodding leaves her no choice. Unfortunately, she almost tangles herself in the ropes, causing a sympathetic mother to quickly free her highly embarrassed daughter. COACH Good grief. Mr. Dick encourages either of his opponent's to 'come get me', in a far too open stance considering his ring attire. *DINGDINGDING!* KRISTA Okay, rock paper scissors. JADE ...Mom... I can't start again him! KRISTA We'll let rock paper scissors be the judge of that young lady. It's a time honoured tradition, I'll have you know. One, two, SHOW! Much to Jade's horror, she produces paper to Krista's scissors and despite her annoyance at losing, Krista leaves the ring in the spirit of the game. Jade wonders if this is some kind of joke or test, but apparantly it's not as when questioned, Krista simply shrugs her shoulders and reminds Jade that rock paper scissors never lies. COACH Alright, here we go, let's wrestle already. COLE I don't think Krista has quite thought through this dilemma of mixing family ties with tag team partnership so well. That might work with Alix, but this is a little different. COACH Yeah, Alix didn't stink up the ring. Jade eventually gives up arguing, as Mr. Dick starts to close in towards he. He swipes out trying to grab a hold of her, but Jade is able to duck out of the way. Escaping, she almost runs right into the opposition corner where Malaysia is waiting. Quickly she turns away, into Mr. Dick... who again misses with an attempted grab, Jade ducking underneath and VERY quickly running to her corner to tag in Krista. Which is good enough for KID, grabbing the top rope and swinging herself in with a deft kick to Mr. Dick's jaw! COLE Well now we're offically underway. Shaking off the kick, Mr. Dick gets back to his feet and charges at Krista. He fancies his chances too with Krista's attention taken by a speck of dirt on the ring ropes. But as Mr. Dick lunges towards her in the corner, Krista oh so casually takes a step to her left, leaving MD to crash into the turnbuckles. Mr. Dick staggers comically off the buckles and once she realises what's happened, a sighing Krista calls him to a halt. KRISTA Honey, honey, hold up one tic. MR. DICK Screw you ya old hag! KRISTA Slow your roll, hear me out here Jockie. Now, if you don't buck your ideas up real quick, this could get mighty embarrassing for you. Diving at me in a corner? I mean... did you think that I wouldn't move for some reason? That the shock of you flying through the air would trap me in temporary rigamortis, renderring me physically unable to move? Or maybe I'd be blinded by the bright lights shining off of your quite frankly ridiculously oiled body? Snapping to his senses, Mr. Dick quits listening to Krista's diatribe and throws a kick at her... which gets caught. KRISTA Now see, this is why I win all the time, you're all just so predictable. Wait, wait, don't tell me, next thing you're going to jump up and try to hit me with some enziguri, no? Already starting to duck from it, see? Hopping on his standing foot, an increasingly agitated Mr. Dick takes a swing at Krista. But Krista weaves her head back easily. KRISTA You know what, I... I just can't deal with you any longer. Krista drags Mr. Dick by the leg and tags in Jade. Looking confused, Jade steps into the ring and is handed the foot by her mother. Once everyone gets over their confusion, Jade is left looking at the foot wondering what to do. And a devious smile forms on Mr. Dick's face, as he leaps up and lands an ENZIGU... NO! Jade ducks! KRISTA *slaps forehead* COLE Oh dear. Thoroughly embarrassed, Mr. Dick is then thoroughly flattened, as Krista tags herself back in and lands a springboard crossbody... 1... 2... No! Scrambling to his feet, Mr. Dick aims a big clothesline at Krista's head. Already rolling her eyes KID ducks it and throws her arms up in frustration at what she's having brought to her. Going through the motions she leapfrogs The Human Hard On as he comes back off the ropes. Mr. Dick puts on the brakes, turning around into an inverted atomic drop. Krista then throws the Superkick... but Mr. Dick bails out of Krista's Great California Adventure by catching the foot and tripping her on her face! COLE Ooh! Not many times will you see Krista falling flat on her face. And even less without immediate and painful vengeance to follow! With Krista checking her prized facial features, Mr. Dick hauls her to her feet, delivering a hard right hand. And a second. And then a third. Krista falls against the ropes, where Mr. Dick pulls up his tiny short shorts before applying a choke. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Clean break. Well, sort of, a clean break and a pieface on the referee. COACH Mr. Dick just choking the life out of the award winning OAOAST member. He really ought to think about getting some less restrictive ring gear, the boys must be bulging in there! Mr. Dick pulls Krista off the ropes and nails her with a forearm, then whips her across the ring. As she rebounds the ever agile Krista manages to tuck and roll underneath Mr. Dick's planned attack though. Quickly to her feet, she leaps up looking for a Hurricanrana... but Mr. Dick counters, flipping Krista onto her feet. He then runs into an armdrag. And a second. Krista goes for a third, but Mr. Dick puts his other hand down on the mat to steady himself before dragging Krista back up with the arms still linked. With a handful of hair he hauls Krista right back down though, applying a top wristlock on the mat. Krista looks in danger, for all of two seconds. That's when she rolls backwards to her feet and gets Mr. Dick over with the third armdrag anyway. COACH You see that Jade? That's what you've got to live up to! Start praying. Hard. As she looks to follow up, Krista is surprised by a legsweep. Keeping hold of a leg, Mr. Dick swings around and looks to lock KID up in a figure four... only for Krista to reach up and hook him into an inside cradle... 1... 2... NO! COLE Let's not forget, Mr. Dick has promised to not only beat Krista tonight but to make her submit. We'll see how that works out for him. Back up, Krista is caught with a knee and locked in an abdominal stretch. It doesn't take Mr. Dick long to look for an added advantage though and he reaches out for the ropes, which referee Charles Robinson breaks away with a kick! The shock allows Krista to twist out of the hold and start twisting something else, those being Mr. Dick's NIPPLES!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" MR. DICK COACH AAHH! COLE Krista with some serious schoolyard level sooning going on! The purple nurples! Trapped in the dreaded titty twister, Mr. Dick backs into a corner and wraps his leg around the middle rope forcing a break. Krista lets Mr. Dick go without taking his nipples with her as a souvenir, much to her disappointment. She instead settles for his tears as he runs off and tags Malaysia into the match, before rolling to the floor to dump a bottle of water over his chest. Stepping in, Malaysia seems angry and marches right towards Krista, who finds herself in a tough position... and thinks fast, APPLYING THE TITTY TWISTER AGAIN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH! I WILL NEVER WASH THIS CROTCH AGAIN!! With Malaysia backed in a corner, Krista looks around to see her eldest daughter covering her face in shame. Strangely that doesn't seem to bother Krista though as she looks to the crowd for approval instead. Her eyes suddenly bulge though when she finally looks up at Malaysia, staring down at her with a smile. MALAYSIA Harder! KRISTA Uhm... uh... anything for a lady! As Malaysia lets out a moan of pleasure even Krista looks a little weirded out by her opponent which is saying something. With the nipple lock still applied she backs towards her corner, dragging Malaysia with her... allowing Jade to come off the top with a crossbody block!! 1... 2... No! Malaysia gets to her feet and goes after Jade, who escapes to the apron, allowing the still legal Duncan (in the ring that is, I know there's a lot of nipple twisting going on but try to focus, please!) to pull her down with a schoolgirl roll-up... 1... 2... No! Krista catches hold of Malaysia getting up, whipping her into a corner. There's just time for Krista to pull out an eye-popping grind to get herself facing the right way, before she follows in and delivers a dropkick in the corner! Backflipping, Krista lands on her feet just for good measure. And the infallible Krista then sidesteps Mr. Dick rushing towards her. Keeping on running, Mr. Dick has finally had enough and throws the STIFF KICK at innocent little Jade standing on the apron... but she narrowly avoids it and Mr. Dick lands CROTCHED on the top rope!! COLE Looks like Jade's picked up her mother's ability to avoid poorly telegraphed attacks from opponents. On orders from mother, Jade grabs one of Mr. Dick's ankles as Krista grabs the other. On three, mother and daughter then combine IN RUNNING MR. DICK CROTCH FIRST DOWN THE LENGTH OF THE RING ROPES!!!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Holy rope burn, Batman! COACH Oh the humanity! If they tear the crotch out of those shorts they're gonna have to pull us off the air. With Mr. Dick's eyes watering he's dragged backwards a few more agonising paces before the Duncans finally let him go. Tumbling off the ropes he curls up on the arena floor in the very worst pain known to man. Meanwhile, Malaysia stalks behind Krista waiting to strike and charges her with a double axehandle. Jade quickly warns Mommy though and she catches Malaysia with a quick go-behind. Up onto the top rope goes Malaysia and it's the same again as Jade and Krista drag her right the way down the ropes! But, far from being in pain, Malaysia just rubs her crotch and grins. MALAYSIA Again! KRISTA Uhm... uh... sure thing! Krista and Jade drag Malaysia back, halfway down the ring, before Jade comes to a stop. Grabbing a hold of Malaysia's arm, the Women's Champion drags her off the top, sending her crashing right into Mr. Dick on the arena floor! KRISTA What did you do that for!? JADE She was enjoying it. KRISTA So was I! Always prone to grumpiness, Krista walks away with her hands on her hips. On the outside Mr. Dick and Malaysia start to pick themselves up so Krista gets back to business and hits the ropes. Yelling at Jade to pull the ropes down she narrowly avoids wiping her daughter out, Jade just getting the message in time and ducking down ALLOWING KRISTA TO SOAR OUT ONTO THE OPPOSITION WITH A NO HANDS SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" KRISTA Naw naw, that ain't nearly loud enough! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" KRISTA Come on, make me use the italics people! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" KRISTA There we go! Okay, your turn sweetie! Much to Jade's surprise Krista waves for her to follow her lead and take a dive. Despite her clear misgivings the Women's Champion carefully turns around on the apron and prepares to jump. But Krista steps out in front of her shaking her head like an agitated film director, pointing Jade to the top rope. Jade protests, but Krista is hearing none of it and even threatens a reduction in pocket money, to which she rightly points out she earns plenty as a wrestler anyway. But a mother's pride is a valuable thing and eventually Jade finds herself climbing the turnbuckles. COLE I'm not so sure about this. This is not, in any way shape or form, Jade's kind of preferred territory. Krista holds Mr. Dick and Malaysia in headlocks while Jade slowly gets to the top. Once there the Women's Champion takes an eternity to get her feet set though. With her daughter struggling, Krista rams MD and Malaysia's heads together before climbing the apron to give her a helping hand. What Jade wasn't expecting though was for those helping hands to grab a hold of her cheerleader uniform AND ROCKET LAUNCH HER OFF THE TOP OUT ONTO MR. DICK AND MALAYSIA ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN TAKING FLIGHT! COACH Some mothers teach their daughters how to read. Others, how to apply make-up. Krista Isadora Duncan teaches Jade how to dive off the top rope onto a guy with a giant penis and his masochist girlfriend. Picking herself up, Jade looks a little shell-shocked but gives the signal that she's okay. She then throws Malaysia back inside to follow up. An irish whip takes great effort but Jade gets it off and executes a not so graceful dropkick on Malaysia on the rebound. Cover... 1... No! Krista demands a tag and on the exchange, she tells her daughter to watch how it should be done. The irish whip is easier for Krista and so is the dropkick, landing on one knee and striking a hot b-boy pose for all her homies back in Holly-hood! COACH I find that disrespectful! Cover by Krista, Jade trying not to let being shown up get to her... 1... 2... No! As Mr. Dick climbs to the apron, Krista is drawn towards him by the overwhelming urge to smack him in the face. Which she does, knocking him back to the floor. Krista then turns around and sees Malaysia in trouble, running in and looking to hit KIDology... ...but Malaysia takes a step forward and catches Krista with a Bossman-style Slam to counter!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow, great reaction move by the former Women's Champion. Malaysia stalks over Krista with her eyes gleaming, but Mr. Dick is back up and demanding the tag. He gets it, although from the strength of it it seems Malaysia isn't happy at having Krista taken from her so quickly. With Krista down holding her ribs, Mr. Dick steps over her pointing the finger at Jade, shouting some pretty unflattering things in her direction. The Human Hard On then grabs a hold of Krista's legs, turning her over into a Boston Crab! COLE And now Mr. Dick looking for that submission! Is he really going to be the first man, or woman, to make Krista Isadora Duncan submit in her OAOAST career!? COACH Oh how I hope so. Krista would never be able to show her face again in the OAOAST. And Mr. Dick would never stand so proud! Encouraging KID to "tap like the bitch you are", whatever that means, Mr. Dick sits back with the crab. Krista shakes her head vehemently refusing to quit but it's clear she's in plenty of pain. Seeing this, Jade cautiously enters the ring. With Mr. Dick distracted by his attempts to draw the precious submission, Jade is able to walk right up in front of him, waiting for the big Texan to look up... before SLAPPING him across the face!! The crowd cheer, very briefly, until The Cocky Prick lets Krista go and chases Jade out of the ring. The Women's Champion isn't safe there though, as Malaysia drops from the apron and lays her out with a clothesline!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mr. Dick swaggers back with a big smile on his face... but walks right into Krista's boot and a taste of LIFE IN THE FAB LANE!!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Krista waves Mr. Dick up, preparing to launch into some kind of diatribe, but hitting the deck courtesy of a Malaysia Nerdly sneak attack! COACH Did I see that right? Did someone just shut Krista up? Why can't that happen everytime? COLE Because most OAOAST wrestlers are dumb and just stand there standing at her breasts as soon as she starts talking? COACH Wait, how is that 'dumb' exactly? Ain't that how you treat all bitches? As Krista lays stricken on the mat, Mr. Dick and Malaysia lock eyes and LOCK LIPS, entering an impromptu game of tonsil hockey in the middle of the match. The long, lingering love-in continues as Krista shakes out the cobwebs, looking up and raising an eyebrow in disgust. Krista gives them time to break it up, tapping them on the shoulder only to be shooed away. Her protests of "hey, guys, we're in the middle of a wrestling match here ya know" seem strangely hypocritical. Maybe why they don't listen. KRISTA Are all heterosexual couples this nauseating? ROBINSON I don't know. KRISTA Well, why would you? No hetero. (looks back) Ugh. Okay, time! Dropping to her knees, Krista reaches out and clamps a big Blue Ball Special on Mr. Dick! But, strangely, Mr. Dick doesn't seem at all surprised or bothered at the invasion of his private areas and continues swapping spit with Malaysia anyway! COLE Okay, this just got incredibly weird. COACH JUST!? Despite Krista's efforts to twist and crank on the... uhm... 'hold', pain simply doesn't register with Mr. Dick. The only one who seems to be bothered by the whole thing is Jade, who picks herself up on the floor and begins to regret doing so when she sees what her mother is doing. Caught red handed, as it were, Krista holds her hands up and tries to insist she wasn't doing anything wrong. Besides attempting to cripple Mr. Dick by squeezing his junk really hard that is. JADE KRISTA Okay, so you caught me grabbing some guy's penis in front of tens of thousands of people inside a wrestling ring. Trust me, it could be a lot worse. Look, are you just gonna stand there judging me or are you gonna come in here and help me break this up? Sliding into the ring, Jade assists Krista in prising Malaysia and Mr. Dick's lips apart (an unnervingly tough task in itself), before cracking their heads together! Jade and Krista then join hands (much to Jade's disgust) and nail Malaysia with a double clothesline! The Duncan clan then turn their attentions to Mr. Dick, who seems to be worried about a chipped tooth. KRISTA Okay, slam him. JADE What!? KRISTA You slam him, then I come off the top. JADE I... don't think I can. KRISTA Ugh... it's always SOMETHING, isn't it!? Fine, we'll do something incredibly mundane like a Double DDT or something. But if it makes it into the highlights video of this match then you'll carry the blame to your grave young lady. COACH Krista's contempt for her daughter's wrestling ability is something to behold. See, I was onto something! COLE I don't think there's any contempt at all. COACH Bitch, please. She's like the Meg Griffin of the Duncan family. And nobody likes Meg. As Mr. Dick turns around, Jade and Krista just about hit their boots at the same time, then plant him on his head with that highlight-reel unworthy Double DDT! Poor Krista can't even bring herself to celebrate or gloat or even dance about the move, hanging her head in shame at ripping off The Heavenly Rockers of all people. JADE High-five! KRISTA Not on your life. Here, grab my leg and flip me before people start flipping the channel on us. Doing as she's told, Jade assists KID in executing a standing moonsault on Mr. Dick, staying on with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! As Krista pulls Mr. Dick up, Jade rushes over and cuts off Malaysia. At least she attempts to, able to land a handful of shots before Malaysia grabs a hold of her cheerleader skirt, lifting the Women's Champion off her feet and hanging her up across the top rope! Meanwhile, Krista comes off the ropes with a spinning heel kick, sending Mr. Dick spiralling out of the ring and to the floor. COLE I was all set to say the referee's lost complete control of this match, but I'm not sure he ever had it to begin with. When Krista's in there, rules and conventions tend to go out the window. With a completely unneccessary roll backwards to her feet and a bow... and a collection of an imaginary, invisible bouqet of flowers thrown from the audience... Krista runs at Malaysia but takes a boot. Malaysia reaches down and grabs a hold of Krista's waist, muscling her up over her shoulder with impressive power, looking for her unnamed 'piledriver variation of death or at the very least a sore neck for a few days'. But complicated move set-ups and Krista simply do not mix and she slithers down the back to safety. Krista then dodges out of the way, allowing Jade to hook Malaysia down with a Running Sleeper Drop!! COLE Sweet Dreams, Malaysia Nerdly! Cover by Jade, Krista standing guard... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Oh, so close! COACH Was Krista seriously going to stand back and let Jade take the glory!? Was I seeing that right!? Is that really Krista Isadora Duncan, attention whore, standing in that ring!? What is going on?!?! Holding her neck, Jade pulls Krista up as the mother and daughter set up another double team manoeuver. Jade locks on a cobra clutch and holds Malaysia in place while Krista hits the ropes... ...but a trip from the outside by Mr. Dick puts pay to that! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on, from the outside, Mr. Dick! Grabbing onto the leg again Mr. Dick hauls Krista out of the ring with a hard THUD on the ringside mats. He then traps Krista in a boston crab again, with no ropes for Krista to use for an escape! In the ring meanwhile, Malaysia breaks out of the cobra clutch and whips Jade off the ropes. Jade is able to duck underneath a clothesline and grabs hold of her opponent's head, looking for Got It From My Momma (reverse x-factor)... but Malaysia breaks apart the hands and turns around, driving a knee to the ribs! Malaysia then gutwrenches Jade up across her shoulder, carrying her around in the Canadian Backbreaker... ...AND DROPPING HER WITH THE PILEDRIVER!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Malaysia with the piledriver on the Women's Champion and no-one kicks out of that! COACH Oh this is too perfect! Malaysia lays atop of Jade, stroking her hair with a cruel smile... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Krista nowhere to be seen and this one is over! *DINGDINGDING!* Still trapped in the boston crab, Krista probably has no idea what's happened as Mr. Dick finally releases her, to join Malaysia in the ring for some more sloppy celebrations. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of MALAYSIA NERDLY and MR. DICK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COACH The Duncans LOSE! They LOST! And wouldn't you know it, Jade LOST the match because Mommy couldn't save her! I... I just want to take a second to soak in this moment. *deep breath* Aaaaaahh. COLE Well Mr. Dick didn't get the submission he wanted, but Malaysia Nerdly pins the Women's Champion to pick up the somewhat surprise victory for her team. Barely able to keep their hands off of each other, Mr. Dick and Malaysia leave to continue their celebrations in a more private (we can hope) setting. Picking herself up on the floor, Krista holds the small of her back as she rolls into the ring. She scowls as Mr. Dick turns back to the ring and raises his arms victoriously, kneeling next to her eldest daughter who's barely moved since the bell rang. COLE I get the feeling we haven't heard the last of this. COACH Of course we haven't Michael. Malaysia just pinned the Women's Champion, we ain't gonna hear the end of that until she's rightfully gotten her belt back. And Mr. Dick didn't get all he wanted tonight either. And nobody blueballs Mr. Dick! COLE And on that genuinely scary note, the Halloween Spectacular will continue. HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR Winners faces the OAOAST Champion at November Reign NATHANIEL BLACK vs. LEON RODEZ...NEXT!

The Sunshine State meets ZZ Top’s legendary classic with a glut of disgusted jeers. The hatred isn’t for the bearded rockers, however, rather the smug superstar that has chosen it as his entrance music. Dressed to kill in pinstriped Armani slacks, and blue Kenneth Cole dress shirt, Christian Wright twirls himself beneath a single golden spotlight as green strobe lights flicker from the sides of the entrance stage. At his side, holding his trusted briefcase is one of the brains behind The Enterprise, Mackenzie DeCenzo. The Money Honey looks every bit as ravishing as her cohort, in a sparkling sequined gown with a sexy cutout back. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes. Making his way to the ring being accompanied by the “Money Honey” Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Washington DC he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold he is The Natural Christian Wright! CW offers the audience another look at slacks they’ll never be able to afford as he runs his hands down their smooth sides. He and Mackenzie then have a small strategy session before they both bid each other farewell and Mackenzie makes her way to the announce table. COACH Mackenzie DeCenzo! Welcome, welcome! MACKENZIE Thank you. I’d like to say I’m happy to be here, but well…you know. COLE What gives, Coach? Are you planning on replacing me? With her?! COACH Not now. COLE Yes now. Yes now! Yes everyday! Everyday until you tell me what I am to you. Am I one of your sluts? Parading out here all dolled up just so you can stomp on my emotions for the world to see. Go to hell, shitbag, and see if anyone there can make you cum like I did! MACKENZIE Is it too late to escape to the French announce table? I knew I’d live to regret throwing away that Rosetta Stone book. Someone has given CW a microphone! The audience is none too happy with that action and they blast them with their furnace hot hatred. WRIGHT How now, fair citizens! Fear thee not, for this evening’s festitivities shall not call upon my oratory skill to indulge in the cliché by cutting a promotional interview on all hallows eve. No my presence here begs a topic more nobler in truth than this day of costumed idiocy. On this televisual transmission I shall lay the gauntlet of war at the feet of the man who laid just such an object at mine. His squawks like that of one’s pet parrot were a gaiety of tepid interest, and yet met with mostly the spurned chortling of men his intellectual superior. Dare I be so brash with my words as to say Baron Windells’ was perhaps brash with his? Is it not without the righteous arm of poignant authority that I may offers this judgement? Mister Windells I see you not as the warrior you dare to classify yourself as. With baneful eye and unremorseful heart I find you nothing beyond a grunt. Your wonderment extends to the deepest recesses of what no doubt is a miniscule mind as to what use my esteemed comrades in The Enterprise for your minimal, if not non existent talents. Put blunty and without any attempts at kindness, you are needed as a heavy, a brute, muscle to exercise the rule of the brain. Here will you be given the ultimate test of whatever power you may yet hold. Bring yourself to me, Baron! Make us poster boys for your scene But we are not making an acceptance speech I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update Fallout Boy’s power pop tracks is given stunning visual accompaniment by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull’s head on the entrance stage. Orange lazers flash and flare at a chao`tic insane pace. Into this fiery scene steps two hundred sixty five pounds of southwestern beefcake, Baron Windells! The Lonestar Gunslinger throws his hand up to loud cheers, the nosiest coming from the females in attendance. BUFFER And the opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, he weighs in at two hundred sixty seven pounds! He is a former One and Only World Tag Team Champion, ladies and gentlemen please welcome The Lonestar Gunslinger, BARON WIINDDEELLLSSSS! The Gunslinger tips his cowboy hat to the many fans cheering his name. Despite the support he receives from Miami, his expression is stoic and solemn. His entire focus is on the man who stares at him with a dismissive smirk, Christian Wright. COLE Mackenzie, The Enterprise seems to be recruiting Baron Windells, or at the very least you all have been scouting him for a while. I know stables are popular these days, and you’re all about recognition and prestigious institutions. But, you don’t need a big name or big things behind you to do big things. Jimi Hendrix did some great things in the army. MACKENZIE Jimi Hendrix also faked being a homosexual to get out of the army. COLE How’s your painting going? MACKENZIE Good. Thank you. Windells hoists up his now OAOAST-famous Stewie Griffin t-shirt to the approval of the audience, and the disdain of his foe. Wright finds the gesture so annoying that he rips the shirt out the hands of Windells. The booing crowd and the stunned Texan watch with disgust as CW throws the t-shirt to the ground. Angered, Baron stoops over to pick it up, but leaves himself wind open to an axe handle from The Natural. “BOOOOOOO!” “Let an intelligent man be not your bête noire! Let him be the governor to your aspirations of better conduct!” CW calls back, as he batters his rival with stomps targeted at his lower back. Once through with his stomping, Wright hauls BW off the canvas and delivers a pair of elbows to his now sore back. He then heaps on additional anguish by slamming Baron’s back against the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. MACKENZIE Baron probably has more potential than just a grunt. But, let’s be honest, he doesn’t have the mental makeup to reach that potential on his own. He needs the mind, the money, and the athletic facilities provided by our group to see himself to success. Otherwise he’s just another face in a big useless OAOAST crowd. Despite the pain in his lower back The Gunslinger battles back to his feet. But, that’s a small victory for him, as CW captures him inside an inverted facelock. Within seconds, The Natural lowers Baron down and smashes him into his outstretched knee. As Baron whimpers with distress, Wright arrogantly discards him to the canvas. His foe debilitated for the moment, CW retrieves the Stewvie Griffin t-shirt and clads himself within it. ‘BOOOOOOO!” MACKENZIE I agree, Miami, Family Guy is severely droll and juvenile waste of animation and airspace compared to the classics of yesteryear such as Tiny Toon Adventures. There was a dodo bird in that one, Cole. Does Family Guy have a dodo bird? COLE We've got a couple at sofa central. Baron is understandly outraged by Wright’s disrespect, and hops upright to make him pay for his shenanigans. But The Natural meets his ascension by tightening him into a sideheadlock. He smiles out to a disapproving audience, but taking his eye off his opponent, gives BW the chance to shove him into the ropes. As he makes his return he slides through the open gap between BW’s legs. The Gunslinger struggles to turn around in time to get a read on him, and that yields awful results; Wright wraps his arms around his waists and lifts him into the air before driving him onto his back with a back suplex. As Baron grits his teeth to suppress the quickly rising pain, The Natural takes off to the ropes aiming for a body splash onto his foe’s injured body part. But as he returns, Baron rolls towards him in an effort to trip him up. However, Wright evades the tactic by leaping over his rival’s outstretched body. He bounces off the second ropes again coming into contact with Windells’ defense; Baron raises his legs and flips him over onto the canavs! The fans delight in Wright’s misery and Windell’s effort to pump them up with a raised arm. COACH I ain’t trynna dis on Mister Moneymaker’s steez or nothing, but I ain’t seen one good thing outta Baron since Mister Dick went Ike on his Tina Turner ass. This dude’s like a ho in a Lifetime movie. We gonna see him out in the middle of a flower field singing “Its not right but its okay” by Whitney Houston. This dude has more pussy in em then a Designing Women marathon. Ol Delta Burke ass nigga. Meanwhile in the ring, CW scrambles towards the corner to be away from the resurgent Gunslinger. But there’s no escaping Baron’s power as the hunky Texan pulverizes him with a running lariat. Clutching onto his sore chest, Wright staggers outside of the corner and begs the referee to grant him the timeout. While Charles Robinson attempts to explain there’s no timeouts in wrestling, Baron builds up a head of steam on the ropes. When he reaches his mouthy adversary he silences him with a diving shoulder block! Windells kips right back up and roars into the Miami night! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE Baron feeling his oats! MACKENZIE Baron feeling the shame, the awful shame, of being a twenty eight year old man thrown into rage by a Stewie Griffin shirt. What’s next Mister Windells, homocide because someone cracked your Futurama DVD? Come to The Enterprise and please learn a better way. Wright is back on his feet, but is under a wave of punches from Windells. To stop the embarrassing drubbing, he shoves The Gunslinger away. Having pushed Baron off balance, CW decides its best not to push further luck and instead looks for the nearest exit. He gets his body halfway through the ropes, before his foe decides he’s not going to escape this time. BW takes a hold of Wright’s high fashion slacks, and hauls the screaming and hollering grappler back into the squared circle. CW cries are muffled into silence as Baron’s powerful arms clamp down on him with a front facelock. He then lifts his left leg onto Wright’s arm in order to prevent The Natural from fighting back. As CW is firmly locked into place, BW dives backwards and spikes his head against the rock solid canvas. The fans heartily applaud the scissor DDT, as BW beats his chest in triumph. He then brings CW off the mat, attaching him into another front facelock. His hands grab a hold of his slacks and he lifts the Natural high into the air for a vertical suplex. The audience cheers the impressive strength of the San Antonio native as he holds Wright suspended in the air. The cheers degenerate into annoyed groans, quickly though, as CW succeeds in expertly maneuvering his way out of Baron’s clutches. Without giving his opponent time to react, The Natural puts his head beneath Baron’s arm and raises him upright. A mere moment later he brings him down across his knee for a belly to back backbreaker! Baron falls over onto the canvas, hands finding his sore back. “WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS!” MACKENZIE Is Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s anti America, anti white, anti freedom, closest socialist friend here? Because they certainly couldn’t be talking about Mister Christian Wright! Wright finally removes the Stewie Griffin t-shirt and decides to be a gentleman and hand it back to its owner. Unfortunately his idea of being a gentlemen involves laying the shirt on Windell’s face and rubbing it in with his Hugo Boss slip ons! “Come on, Christian, knock it off.” Robinson chides him as the audience does so in their vulgar way. Amazingly Wright ceases his deplorable act, doing so only to lift BW off the canvas. He snakes his arms across Baron’s waist in an inverted waistlock. Unwilling to be the victim of anyone of CW’s high impact holds. Windells uses his overpowering strength to sweep behind him and capture him with an inverted waistlock of his own. But, BW has just as much success as CW; which is to say none, as Wright whips around to regain his waistlock. Leaving no moment for BW to reverse the hold once more, The Natural throws him overhead with a release German Suplex! “BOOOO!” hisses the audience after Baron’s lands neck first against the mat. COACH Check out the way Baron’s neck hit that mat! Wright stay jacking up these strawberry shortcake niggas. MACKENZIE Coach, I was wrong about the things I said about you. Have a candy bar. COACH What things have you said about me? MACKENZIE Never mind that, just enjoy the candy bar. Baron very slowly begins trying to lift himself off the mat. His pace is much too lethargic for CW, however, and The Natural rips him off the ring ropes by his hair. He traps both of Baron’s muscular arms in a double underhook and throws a pair of knees to his midsection to prevent any sort of escape. Baron still tries to win his freedom, but Wright will have none of that and yanks him off the mat. The crowd boos once again when the cowboy is struck with the Nightmare on Wallstreet (Canadian Backbreaker) MACKENZIE And this match is just about finished. Seeking to prove Mackie correct, Wright hooks his foe’s leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! A kickout by Windells causes Wright to spew one of his usual verbose diatribes at the referee. While continuing to argue with Robinson, The Natural lifts the groggy Windells back off the canvas. He tags him with two quick European uppercuts before shoving him back first into the turnbuckles. Baron grimaces from the pain that’s taken home in his back and stumbles forward, unaware that Wright is salivating over his arrival. Once he reaches his near drooling partner he’s taken for a lethal ride by the famous Wright Off (Sky High)! Baron is brought down into the mat with a booming thud that leaves the ring shaking. MACKENZIE This one is over. I said that before, but I mean it more this time than I did then. Robinson drops down to score the signature move’s ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Once more, Baron’s shoulder finds its way off the canavs. This time Wright ignores any qualms with the referee and instead directs his focus to the turnbuckles. He quickly scampers up them, but his fast movement is delayed by his need to further aggravate an already displeased audience. “Behold! He who both wields power and desires to use it is a puissance not wisely reckoned with!” COACH Hehheh My man said puss- MACKENZIE No he didn’t. Give me back my candy bar. The master of puissance goes flying from the turnbuckle with graceful agility marking his frog splash. Sadly his landing is less than pretty as The Gunslinger slides his chiseled frame out the way! Wright crashes into the floor and the fans are as happy as a lark. COLE Nobody home for the frog splash! Wright is up with unusual quickness given his ordeal, but his movement is staggered and dizzy. This is perfect for Baron who charges him with a lariat! But Wright has enough wits to duck bellow him, and avoid the Myspace Comeback by hooking onto him with a side headlock. Wasting little time, he rushes towards the corner planning a bulldog. But, the planning stage is as far as that move gets; Baron shoves him crotch first into the ringposts. The fans are as delighted as one can expect, screaming over Wright’s hoarse shrieks. MACKENZIE That’s like dumping acid onto his soul. I can’t watch the horror! Wright succeeds in pulling himself free of his ball busting predicament, but his strength is all but sapped and he’s forced to recline against the turnbuckle post to recover it. This is a near impossible task due to Baron climbing the top rope to hammer him with the tried and true turnbuckle punches! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “FIVE!” “SIX!” “SEVEN!” “EIGHT!” “NINE!” “TEN!” Baron dismounts Wright, and admires his handiwork of a near weeping opponent, mumbling futile pleas for mercy or at least his coveted timeout. Sadly the only thing that’s given to him is a taste of Baron’s shiny metal ass! Just seconds after Wright hits the mat from the BUTT bump, his energetic adversary orders him back up. CW stands, but does so only to try and make his latest retreat. With no intention of letting Wright weasel his way out of this match, BW floors him with a big boot! COLE Baron is cooking! Snarling with a ferocious intensity, Baron drags his wounded adversary off the canvas and tightens him into front facelock. He calls out for the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT) and sends the audience into a delirious fit. CW himself is delirious with panic and holds onto the ropes, in hopes of preventing the finisher. But this does nothing to assist him as Baron hauls him away. Desperate to avoid certain doom CW drills Baron between the legs with a forearm! COLE That’s despicable! He hit him with a low blow. MACKENZIE I’m sorry I didn’t know it was Christian’s fault god put genitals between’s Baron’s leg Baron immediately releases his grip on CW, wrought with anguish over the illegal tactic. Ignoring a chastisement from the referee, The Natural immediately pounces on his rival with a front facelock. He lifts him up and then brings him right down with the Stockmarket Crash! The audience boos the appearance of the finisher, and not just because it reminds them of their financial woes! With Windells out from the deadly hold, Wright covers him for a pivotal fall.. ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* Sharp Dressed man comes back to the arena as Wright leaps up and celebrates his victory by climbing to the top rope and inviting a booing audience to worship their intellectual and moral superior. BUFFER The winner of this contest as a result of pinfall…CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Mackenzie joins CW in the ring, offering him heaps of praise and enthusiastic applause while he continues his completely overboard celebration. COACH Maybe Baron considers joining The Enterprise now. That is if they even still offer him a spot after he choked. Dude asked for a fight and he took a loss. I wouldn’t let that kinda cat on my team, ain’t no way no how. COLE Took a loss? He was cheated! He asked for a fight and Christian Wright ripped him off. TO THE BACK~!, where Josh Matthews does his best to try to catch up with Theodore Moneymaker, who looks as though he has no time for the former Tough Enough star turned most popular interviewer. JOSH Mr. Moneymaker, a word, if you would? Moneymaker stops in his tracks, and rolls his eyes. MONEYMAKER What is it, Matthews? Can't you see I'm a busy man? JOSH Well, honestly, how busy can you be since you backed out of the four way tag team match tonight? Moneymaker doesn't like Josh's accusation, and the look on his face lets him know it. MONEYMAKER Backed out? Josh Matthews, how dare you try to paint an unflattering picture of me. Never once did I state I would be entering that contest. It was simply assumed by you, and by our easily duped fanbase that I would be entering the match in order to square off with Zack Malibu. JOSH Well...it's also been assumed that you opted not to participate due to the fact that you DON'T want to square off with Zack Malibu. Moneymaker, again not pleased, shoves Josh down! MONEYMAKER You listen to me, Matthews! I have HAD IT, quite frankly, with everyone talking down to me, all because their lord and savior, the great Zack Malibu paints me in a bad light. I for one am SICK of the juvenille verbal jabs, and the outright lies that Zack Malibu tells this audience in order to lure them into supporting him. As for the tag match, why on Earth would I want to participate in such a farce. People are complaining that the Heavenly Rockers aren't true Enterprise members, but what about the fact that The In Crowd isn't a true stable! Let's talk about that, shall we? Josh, still stunned, gets up and dusts himself off, but Moneymaker snatches the mic from him. MONEYMAKER YOU sit back, Josh, and enjoy this little lesson. As far as I'm concerned, The In Crowd is another lie told by Zack Malibu. Those four men have NOTHING in common except for the fact that they're more often than not at each others throats! You've got an egomaniac, a possible homosexual, a former porn star, and a supposedly recovered junkie, and yet THEY are revered as mankind's greatest hope? And the name...The In Crowd...please. If Zack Malibu brought Superstar and Evenflow out of the minimum wage jobs they've no doubt been working since we saw them last, then I could see the reason for the name. The fact is that The In Crowd is nothing more than a marketing term, a flashy logo to slap on a T-shirt to line Zack Malibu's pockets a little more. Excellent business strategy, but not good when you're trying to pride yourself on being a moral authority. Zack Malibu brought that name back and dubbed his band of miscreants with it in order to cash in on nostalgia. Hell, look at the toy line...they're going to take the same Zack Malibu figure you've been able to buy for six years, paint a nice little In Crowd shirt on it, toss it in some new plastic, and get $8.99 for it from the sheep that think it's something new and shiny! I am growing tired of repating myself week in and week out, but these people are not going to learn that Zack Malibu is a fraud any other way! So tonight... All of a sudden, Zack bursts into the scene, shoving Moneymaker until Josh Matthews of all people gets in the middle! JOSH Guys, come on now... ZACK Moneymaker, you want to talk about repeating things until people learn? How about you and me? How about the things that I say...are you ever going to actually listen to them, or remain jealous and jaded? MONEYMAKER I've said it before, Zack, I'm not jealous of you. I'm just trying to open your eyes. I'm being realistic. What's that quote of yours again? Good for business, bad for you? Well, let's dissect that. Let's interpret that first part. Good for business. Zack, CHANGE is good for business, yet you continue to avenge Anglesault like a broken hearted high schooler trying to win his girlfriend back. Change is good, yet you reinstate a group that was left for dead years ago, and it doesn't even consist of the same people! Not to mention your motley crew doesn't even have a shred of loyalty to itself. You've got Bo going in one direction, Leon in another... ZACK See, let me stop you right there. The In Crowd IS about unity. Now I've heard the criticisms about dubbing us a new In Crowd ever since it happened, but let me tell you why. The In Crowd wasn't about me, Superstar and Evenlow. It wasn't about Alison. It wasn't about the nightlife and the parties. The In Crowd is about the heart of the OAOAST. It's about what matters in this company. Tradition. Loyalty to the brand, to the fans, and to our peers. RESPECT. Something that's sorely lacking on your end. THAT is what The In Crowd is about. As far as loyalty goes, it's there, Teddy. It's there because that loyalty means we support each others goals. I didn't put the group together so they could follow my every whim, like you and your Enterprise. I formed the group to serve as a barricade from you getting total control. I'll admit, you've come close. I know that you're lining pockets and making moves behind my back, and that's fine. Anglesault's gone, and I don't control the office. I do control the outcomes out in that ring, however, and that's why I'm asking...I'm BEGGING you to get in the ring with me. Enough of the name calling, enough of the Enterprise and Alison and whatever smear campaigns you've thought up this week. It's only going to be settled until someone is laying on the mat, the victim of a three count. All it needs is your name on the contract to be done. Moneymaker chuckles, and Josh looks at him, waiting for his response along with a very determined, very frustrated Zack Malibu. MONEYMAKER Typical Zack, jumping the gun. Do you even CARE about your match tonight? Do you even CARE about the fact that there are six other men waiting to kick your ass? Do you care that you're going out there tonight with a guy coming off an injury who probably swallowed his entire Vicodin perscription the first day he had it? I'm not the problem tonight, Zack. I'm of no threat to you, but yet here you are, attempting to goad me into something that you really do not want any part of. ZACK Now again, that's where we disagree. First off, I DO want a part of it. More than anything, more than even a shot at the World Title, I want a chance to get this over with IN THE RING. The second thing is, don't dare mock Sly Sommers. It takes a real man, it takes heart to do what he's done. To admit his flaws and to bounce back is more admirable than anything anyone in this company has ever done. Tonight is another step in his redemption. All week long I've had people ask why it's Sly and I going into this rather than Leon and I, because that would have been the obvious answer. The fact is that people forget Sly is my student. He learned from me, and there's a bond there just as strong as any regular tag team. That's why tonight we're going to prove our superiority over the Deadly Alliance, Cucaracha Internacional, and the Heavenly Rockers. MONEYMAKER You mean The Enterprise. ZACK Funny, I don't see anyone from that group in my match tonight. All I see are two mercenaries, paid off, because again, you used your money to get yourself out of trouble. Sooner or later, either time or your bank account is going to run out, and I personally don't care which one it is, but this is going to be settled. Enterprises and In Crowds and Rockers and whoever else, none of that matters because it all boils down to us two. So you can keep dragging it out if you'd like, but tonight I'm going to go out there with my partner, my FRIEND, and give these fans what they paid to see. So sit in the back in your leather recliner and watch. Take notes. Study the tape. Go over it again and again. Find my weaknesses. Do your research. Just prepare yourself for the inevitable, Teddy, because I WILL see you in the ring very soon, and no wad of cash is going to prevent it. Malibu, satisfied, walks off, leaving Moneymaker fuming. He shoves Matthews down again and walks off, leaving Josh on the floor in disbelief, as we fade to commercial.

More than a chance...very likely. I could use the extra day myself anyway.

Fatal 4 Way OAO World Tag Team Title Match The Heavenly Rockers vs. James Blonde & Faqu vs. Zack Malibu & Sly Sommers vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©

Landon referring to Josie and Clem as Palin/McCain was hilarious. I can see the Buzzlefoxer/McCain comparison though. at the OAOAST Fantasy game ad, especially the part about gambling on which superstars will be appearing. Bo’s promo reminded me of what a choker WWE has made Batista out to be always losing title matches despite getting shot after shot. You can make the case he’s a bigger choker than Lex Luger. Josie laying down the law, and signing matches. Showtime Shayne vs. Dos: The voodoo gimmick has given new life to Los Conquistadors, or made them interesting at the very least. They remind me a little of the Brood now. Got a laugh out of the ball bit near the end. Fine group promo from the DA. And an equally fine promo from Brickston/VX. We follow that up with another great promo, this time from MD. Gauntlet match: Damn was this funny. All-time classic. If we ever do a clip show this would be on it for sure. I don’t know why I found Mackie painting backstage to be funny, but I did. If it involves the Duncan clan you know it’ll be good. This was no exception. Poor Jade. First Bo prefers to be friends and now Krista doesn’t want to team with her...but she actually has a good reason! Still, that's her daughter. Stables Battle Royal: Helluva main event. But Teddy got robbed. MOTN: Gauntlet match QOTS: “6'4, 238 of Texas's finest thoroughbred. Only difference is, the horses are the ones with penis envy when it Mr. Dick's out on the ranch!” -- Mr. Dick

Zack, if it's alright with you, I went ahead and wrote an ending to your segment and edited it into last week's show. Here's what I added, nothing major, just a quick finish. Moneymaker leaps down from the middle rope, stomping Malibu in the chest as Bosley gets his licks in as well. It's a 2 on 1 attack until...SLY SOMMERS EVENS THE ODDS!? COACH Look at this fool, Cole. What does he think he's doing? COLE Helping a friend, that's what. Sommers struggles to his feet after rolling inside, but goes unnoticed to Moneymaker and Bosley who continue their assault on Zack Malibu. COACH Guys, behind you! Sly winds up and swings for the fences...BREAKING HIS CRUTCH ACROSS THE BACK OF BOSLEY~!!! ALISON The crowd reacts with a thunderous cheer. Not Theodore Moneymaker, however. The Billion Dollar Heir takes a shot at Sommers, but he ducks and catches Moneymaker in the gut and then over the back with the handle of the crutch! The rest of the Enterprise quick to come out and assist their boss while Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu are left standing tall inside, much to the delight of their fans as "Getting Away With Murder" cues. MONEYMAKER COLE Oh, what a moment. COACH If you enjoy cheap shots and gang violence, all of which Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu committed. COLE Fans, we gotta take a quick time out. But whatever you do, please don't go away. We still have plenty more to come!

[b][color="#FF0000"]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/color][/b] [I]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you[/I] As "Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" blares in the background, The Love Doctors entertain the OAOAST Marks™ with their exploits, gyrating to the music as Dr. Max Anderson does a strip tease for a lucky young lady. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Love Doctor Steven Pigley…from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 225 pounds… DR. MAX AAAAAAAANDERSON! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Max gives the crowd a big thumbs up as readies for his encounter, loosening up in the ring as “The World Is Mine” by David Guetta replaces the musical styling of the late Robert Palmer. BUFFER His opponent is the 21-year-old prodigy from Manhattan, weighing tonight at 207 pounds… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" For a young man with a ton of potential but hasn’t done much yet, Reiger has a rather elaborate entrance with flashing spotlights and his initials illuminated on the stage. Once in the ring, Spencer rips open the hoody and poses on the top rope. COLE I must say, Coach, with developmental contracts nowhere close to the kind of money even the lowest level performer in the OAOAST makes, I wonder how Spencer Reiger is able to afford such an entrance. COACH Spencer’s a prodigy, Cole. A One Man Triple Threat with his looks, skills and charisma. He’s a special talent. If wrestling had a legitimate draft Spencer Reiger would be a sure-fire #1 pick and everybody knows how well paid #1 picks are. COLE Be that as it may, it was a week ago when Spencer Reiger [u]walked out[/u] on teammates, Los Conquistadors and the Last Kings of Scotland, during a 10 man tag against The Love Doctors, D*LUX and Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. [b][color="#9932CC"]Held[/color][color="#FFFF00"]DOWN[/color]~! [color="#FF0000"]Last Week[/color][/b] [quote]Jumping off the turnbuckles Reiger can't believe the incompetence of his partners and stands over them yelling. Spencer then looks up and throws up his hands again, this time saying to heck with it all and walking out on his team![/quote] COACH We went over this last week, Mikey. Spencer knew he was on a sinking ship and saved himself. Even though he was superior talent, 5 against 1 are terrible odds. By the way, Cole, have you ever wondered how tag teams figure out which guy should compete in singles matches? COLE No. COACH Well I too have pondered that question and the answer is actually quite simple. The guy with the most success feels pity on the less fortunate one in the team, so he lets his partner have the spotlight in singles bouts. In our case tonight, Steven Pigley is by far the most success doctor, hosting a radio program, etc. Speaking of which, Dr. Steven Pigley plugs his show around ringside, asking fans to go online to "Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio!" * DINGDINGDING * Reiger pounces on Anderson as the bell sounds, clubbing the Love Doctor across the shoulders. Anderson blocks a turnbuckle smash and violently introduces Reiger to the buckle instead. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Prodigy staggers out of the corner and into a series of SPINNING BACKFISTS, followed by a cover. ONE… TWO… And only two. Rattled as though Spencer Reiger was, it wasn’t enough to keep him down for the count. The Doctor of Love plants New York’s Finest in the center of the ring with a suplex, then sprints off the ropes to deliver a BIG SPLASH…but Spencer gets the KNEES UP and makes Anderson a VICTIM OF THE REVOLUTION! COLE Devastating half-nelson backbreaker right there. It could be all here. Reiger hooks the leg following the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Spencer applies a reverse chin lock, but rest holds are for pussies, so Max answers with a JAWBREAKER and a quick SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Reiger barely kicks out in time. But Anderson makes him regret it by using his head as a human punching bag. Whipped to the corner Reiger scales the turnbuckles and performs a BACKFLIP off the top, landing behind a charging Max Anderson before dropping him on the back of his head with the KATAHAJIME SUPLEX~! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Can I get a damn on that, Coach? COACH Not just a DAYUM~!, baby boy, but a GODDAYUM~! Reiger takes a bow to a chorus of boos, then drives Anderson face-first into the mat with a FORWARD RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger’s hand is raised as “The World Is Mine” fires up. COLE An impressive outing after a very questionable one last week by Spencer Reiger. His attitude may leave a lot to be desired, but there’s no denying this kid’s got talent. COACH That’s why he’s a prodigy, you idiot!

The Enterprise officially announce their representative for the 4 way tag title match at THS (already posted in GCF) Spencer Reiger vs. Dr. Max Anderson

[i]"YEOW!"[/i] “Money Talks” by AC/DC cranks up and THE ENTERPRISE, minus the Beverly Hills Blonds and the ladies, head to the ring dressed in their Sunday best. COLE Perhaps the odds on favorites to win tonight’s stables battle royal with all members entered, the Enterprise could be cashing in big the next two weeks, Coach. COACH And it could be a [I]long[/I] two weeks for the In Crowd, Mikey. With all those huge egos in one group it’s only a matter of time before they start blaming each other for their woes. I bet Zack’s ready to throw everybody under the bus like he always does. Forget Terrell Owens. Zack Malibu is the real team obliterator! COLE :rolleyes: Christian Wright and V.I.C.E. by his side, Theodore stands tall and full of pride with a hearty smile on his billion dollar face and a very clever IV Pennington/Holden pin on his lapel. THEODORE Here in the home of democracy, I'd like to send out a message that goes straight to the home of Anti-American, immorality. Los Angeles. Not to the entire city, overran with gang bangers and fruit selling immigrants, most of you won't live past 30 so its pointless to even address you. I'm talking to those who have a future. Those at Beverly Vista School. And I'm talking to them because I may fear Krista and her threats, but I fear a school led by Maya Duncan-Blanchard even more. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" WRIGHT Silence! THEODORE You all see the way Krista talks to her enemies don't you? You all hear the threats she made against myself and Mister Dick? You saw how she abused poor Abdullah last week? Nearly drowned him? What's to stop her daughter from doing the same thing? If little Joey doesn't want to play floor hockey on field day, but Maya does, what's to stop her from impaling him with a goalie stick? If little Cathy wants to sit at the cool girls' table and Maya deems her uncool, what's to top Maya from teaming up with one of her friends and double powerbombing her through a table? Her mother is violence prone and so is she. For your safety and your health vote JC Pennington. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" THEODORE Washington, D.C., before you and the rest of the country hammer the final nail in the coffin of capitalism on November 4, the Enterprise is set to drive the stake into the hearts of the other small stable operators here in the OAOAST starting tonight with the battle royal where the final two participants will square off at the Halloween Spectacular to determine the #1 contender to the World Title. And I assure you the last men standing will come from my Enterprise. In addition to having the most entries, Mr. Wright and Ms. DeCenzo have concocted a winning strategy that guarantees the Enterprise both slots in the contenders bout next week. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE If they’re so smart, maybe after the show Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo can visit the U.S. capital and fix our economy. COACH And help the little people? No way. THEODORE Oh, and what great pleasure I’ll have when the heads of our competitors bow at my feet and kiss the ring of the only true messiah in the OAOAST! Because what I have sought for months is now within reach, that is for the Enterprise to be recognized as the premier organization. No longer will Zack Malibu be viewed as the franchise. That honor will belong to me. No longer will the In Crowd, Cucaracha Internacional and Deadly Alliance be mentioned in the same breath as the Enterprise. And no longer will those organizations dominate the main event scene. It’ll be straight back down to the bottom rung of the ladder for all of them! BWAHAHA! COLE Oh, my God, Mikey! Imagine Zack Malibu curtain jerking AngleMania! THEODORE Now then, looking ahead to next week’s Fatal 4 Way at the Halloween Spectacular for the One & Only World tag team championship. We now know joining Deadly Alliance members Reject and Thunderkid in that match will be James Blonde and Faqu representing Cucaracha Internacional and Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu likewise for the In Crowd. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright and Moneymaker shake their heads in disgust. V.I.C.E., meanwhile, are ready to crack some heads. Detective Tango Bosley in particular, eyes and veins on neck bulging! “WE WANT ZACK!” “WE WANT ZACK!” “WE WANT ZACK!” THEODORE Believe me, after last week I want Zack too. But I don’t expect to have that opportunity tonight because I’m afraid he’d eliminate himself rather than face me like a man being the coward that he is. BWAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH (laughs) How true is that, Cole? That’s such a Zack thing to do. COLE It is not and you know it. THEODORE It’s for that reason I have decided not to be one of the Enterprise’s representatives next week. “BULL-SHIT!” “BULL-SHIT!” “BULL-SHIT!” THEODORE Direct your anger at Zack Malibu, ladies and gentlemen. If I thought we could have the match without Zack running around like a chicken to avoid facing me I would participate, but with your interests in mind I felt that was not possible. This bout has the potential to be an all-time classic and I do not wish to jeopardize that. COLE And Theodore Moneymaker says Zack Malibu is the coward? Give me a break. THEODORE That said, allow me to introduce to you the men that I know will proudly represent the Enterprise next week at the Halloween Spectacular… [I]If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah"[/I] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THEODORE :huh: “Superstar“ by Lupe Fiasco plays, as Molly Nerdly films Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, scroll down the aisle to a mixed reaction in jean shorts and matching silver vests. COLE No surprise here. Well, maybe just the vocal minority of Blonds supporters. A microphone is produced and people talk! SIMON Teddy, it’ll be an honor to represent the Enterprise at the Halloween Spectacular. Ned and I been waiting patiently for another shot at the title we’ve held on 3 separate occasions, the second most in OAOAST history. With 3 other tough teams involved we can‘t guarantee a win, but we can promise you that we’ll do everything and anything it takes to walk out with those belts once again around our waists. NED I can tell by the way you’re looking at us you aren’t too pleased we didn’t dress up for the occasion, but hell, son, Simon and I were too damn excited about the opportunity we’re presented with to have read the damn text message you sent. THEODORE So you got the text? SIMON We got it, Teddy. But we didn’t need to read what we knew all along, that you’d choose the hottest tag team in sports entertainment to represent the Enterprise in the 4 way. NED I’ve been in a threesome before, but I ain’t never been in no 4 way -- not that I recall, but that would the booze’s fault -- so it’ll be a first for the Handsome Hustler! THEODORE BWAHA! Oh, God, you guys are too much. Really you are. I thought dumb blonds were a stereotype, but here you prove it right because had you read the text you could’ve spared yourself the humiliation of learning on worldwide television you were NOT selected to represent the Enterprise. SIMON/NED :o COLE You gotta be kidding me. COACH What a shocker this is, Cole. THEODORE You blew TWO title shots in August. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Did you really expect I’d give you the chance to blow a third? You didn’t even think you could win “with 3 other tough teams involved.” We’re [I]this close[/I] from achieving our goal and I’ll be damned if you two are gonna ruin it. SIMON Wait a minute, Teddy. I think… THEODORE I don’t pay you to think. I pay you to win matches and championships, which you’ve both done a piss poor job doing the past year. You’re lucky I haven’t fired your asses for basically stealing my money in that time. The least you can do right now is join me in welcoming the team who signed a lucrative licensing agreement with the Enterprise to represent us at the Halloween Spectacular. Led by Holly Mann, COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY in association with the Enterprise presents the only rock n’ wrestling band that matters… THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! [i][size=4][color="#FF0000"][b]HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT![/b][/color][/size][/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Decked out in all leather, the Heavenly Rockers make their way ringside. Abdullah wearing a cowboy hat on top of his Arabic headdress. COACH DAYUM~! COLE What a slap in the face this is, to go with the Blonds’ hated rivals. Moneymaker and company exchange handshakes with the Heavenly Rockers, except the BHB who are in a state of shock. ABDULLAH Brother Moneymaker, I thank you on behalf of the Heavenly Rockers for this tremendous opportunity you have blessed us with. And unlike dumb and dumber over there, Synth and Logan know they will leave the Halloween Spectacular with a big treat! LOGAN We’re gonna indulge our sweet tooth with the World tag team title sayeth the Macho MACHO Mann~! SYNTH What he said, bitches! BOSLEY Ha-ha! Yeah! What he said, bitches! I love it. I fucking love these guys! When I roll into the club tonight, I'm rollin with you dudes, because you are awesome! MOLLY Surely this can not be true! Even if Ned and Simon have disappointed you as you say, they've being loyal members of your organization. I don't believe denying them of their dream is any proper way to treat them. Its terribly rude! WRIGHT Rudeness matters not! Loyalty matters not! Years of services matters not! Countless failures matter most, and I lament to speak these words, but your charges have those in spades. With tired performances and questionable work ethics they eroded the once vibrant soil of The Enterprise and have overridden our land with the weeds of failure. To endure their continued bastardization of The Enterprise name at such crucial junctures is an option not to be so swiftly taken. Mind your mouth, little girl, for it speaks only in the dullard tones of ignorance. BOSLEY Ha-ha! That's right, baby! You don't take crap from a female! It ain't the Alpha way, baby! MOLLY I will not be silenced by anything you have to say. I happen to know Ned and Simon's work ethic and talent goes far and above anyone standing within this ring and anyone watching on the monitors backstage. You must believe me! LOGAN Hey, hey, kid. This is a business, man, and we're gonna handle our business, damn! There's no hard feelings, Blonds. At least I hope not. Mister Moneymaker realizes what's good in the OAOAST, and what's bad in the OAOAST. I'm not gonna name names, because I don't name drop, but frankly the best tag team going in this company includes the words Heavenly and Rockers. Ned, and Simon, you can't help that the sport has passed you by. It happens to all the greats. Just accept it. HOLLY I wouldn't call either of you two great, though. LOGAN True, true. Ned, Simon, you have to start thinking about life after the OAOAST. Simon, maybe you'd like a role as a judge on the next season of Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling. Molly, you're in grad school, when you get out maybe you can be the camera girl or even better get coffee for the Hulkster! Ned, I don't know what you're gonna do, and I don't care all that much. But your ex is famous, she's a busy woman, I'm bet she needs someone to fetch her dry cleaning, get her car washed, all that stuff you're qualified to do, Ned. You've been such a great slave or Mister Moneymaker, you have all the credentials to be Krista's personal assistant. HOLLY But its too bad you don't have the credentials to be 4 time tag team champions like we do. THEODORE :lol: Molly steps up to Holly ready to fight, ending my dream tag team of Holly and Molly, the Olly girls! MOLLY Now that is enough! THEODORE Indeed it is! Logan, Synth, Holly, Abdullah, come let us toast to your record tying fourth tag team championship! “Money Talks” cues once again to end the segment the Enterprise leave the BHB alone in the corner to hang with the Heavenly Rockers. COLE As if the Halloween Spectacular couldn’t get any better, what a match it should be for the One & Only World tag team championship. And what a bombshell Theodore Moneymaker just dropped. The Heavenly Rockers will represent the Enterprise after signing a lucrative licensing agreement with the group. COACH Teddy once again proves why he’s one of the best businessman in the world, Cole. COLE For his dreams to become reality the Enterprise must first win the stables battle royal later tonight. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HALLOWEEN[/color] SPECTACULAR [color="#808080"]FATAL 4 WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH[/color] [color="#808000"]The Heavenly Rockers[/color] vs. [color="#FF0000"]James Blonde & Faqu[/color] vs. [color="#9932CC"]Zack Malibu & Sly Sommers[/color] vs. [color="#0000FF"]Reject & Thunderkid © [/color][/b]