Tony149

I submit this evidence in Patty's defense. Sometimes a guy just needs to get laid. Of course referring to Leon Rodez. If you hadn’t read the show and only saw that line you might be thinking WTF…or right on, man. Cool new Leon shirt, btw. Ever notice the animated X-Men theme seems like it’s about to end only to pick up and go on another 30 seconds? Great theme though, and I could see that being a real life OAOAST opening. That or the original Smackdown opening. WWF reference for Patty! HOW: Can you say angry mom? Krista made Abby her man bitch. If there wasn’t such a thing before, there is now. Hero’s welcome for PR and we get our ME book here with PR and Landon going one on one. Vinny vs. Deuce: Ken Pantera makes a surprise return dominating DDB. There’s a feud that could be interesting. 10 man tag: AngleMania came early for these guys because they’re all getting a pay day! Fun match though. Bombshell announcement from Alf. A new member of the DA is on the way. As if they weren’t powerful enough. For a guy who lives in the UK, KC sure does know his American pop culture. I guess it’s true what they say. Everybody wishes they were American. Well, OK, maybe not right now, but they will again! I bet some third world country loves us! Anyway, awesome LS. Loved the Conan O’Brien inspired opening bit and the mass brawl after everybody said their peace, which included some great lines. The crowd reaction would be off the charts had this been in front of real fans in a real arena. And the Cowboys are going to bounce back, damnit! Huge battle royal signed for next week. That’s going to be a helluva match I’m sure. Is it me or does Shayne facial look like a girl in the No Homo segment? And there’s no OAOAST logo on the turnbuckle pads!? Fuck writing on Melody’s Facebook page. I’m writing my local congressman! MD puts Bo in his place telling it like it is. Malaysia vs. Jade: Great shit here with MD living up to his name and then Bo and Krista coming to Jade‘s aid. at MD being Malaysia’s two-handed squeeze and the bit with the gum and cameraman. Loved the line about how MD could’ve seriously injured the cameraman. Vintage COD followed. I don’t even have to say another more because Patty knows he rules. Alf vs. Brickston: I wasn’t sure how it’d play out with both guys being heels, but what an exciting match this turned out to be. Ned’s actually trying to be a dad for once, but THR ain’t having none of that. First a free outdoor show, then one in front of 130 people and now NR in Anaheim? What’s next, a show in Sturgis? MOTN: Alf vs. Brickston QOTS: “And James Blonde wrote, "Lean over and say good morning to Landon." -- Leon Rodez

Short, sweet and to the point. We return from break with the caption “MOMENTS AGO” at the lower left hand side of the screen as video of the altercation involving Theodore Moneymaker, Detective Tango Bosley, Zack Malibu and Sly Sommers is highlighted. COLE Thursday night is back to being HeldDOWN~!, a position Zack Malibu found himself in moments ago until fellow In Crowd buddy Sly Sommers cleaned house. COACH If you call attempted battery cleaning house. COLE With more on the situation, let’s go to our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. We cut to Brannigan in front of a door with the official seal of the President of the OAOAST. BRANNIGAN Guys, I’m outside the office of OAOAST President Josie Baker here at El San Juan Hotel and boy do I have some HOT NEWZ~! regarding the Halloween Spectacular in two weeks’ time live on TSM. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HALLOWEEN[/color] SPECTACULAR [color="#808080"]FATAL 4 WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH[/color] [color="#808000"]THE ENTERPRISE[/color] vs. [color="#FF0000"]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL[/color] vs. [color="#9932CC"]THE IN CROWD[/color] vs. [color="#0000FF"]THE DEADLY ALLIANCE[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN You see it right there on your television screen. A colossal Fatal 4 Way pitting representatives from all 4 warring fractions in a match for the One & Only World tag team championship! We know Reject and Thunderkid will represent the DA because they are the current titleholders, but what about the other groups? (stares off-screen) Theodore Moneymaker, wait just a second! We follow Brannigan as he sprints after his cousin. Being assisted by Detective Bosley and CPA, Moneymaker stops and turns, his face red and a towel wrapped around neck. MONEYMAKER Can’t you see I’m in a lot of pain, Brannigan!? Sly Sommers is lucky I haven’t pressed charges against him for assault with a deadly weapon. For a guy who’s supposed to be hurt, he sure looks fine to me. I bet he’s scamming some poor insurance company out of their hard earned money faking that knee injury of his. BRANNIGAN You’ve already tried to slander Zack Malibu’s good name, Teddy, there’s no need to do the same with Sly. Now I ask you about the Fatal 4 Way signed for the Halloween Spectacular. Will YOU be one of the two men representing the Enterprise Halloween night? MONEYMAKER Who do you think I am, President… *shutters* … Obama? I’m not going to reveal my tactics. BRANNIGAN President Obama? MONEYMAKER I’ve concede the U.S. presidential election, Brannigan, but I haven’t concede my godson Jeffery Carter Pennington IV’s class presidential election! He’s one investment you’ll see a big return on, you know? BWAHAHA! Theodore grabs his neck and grimaces. BRANNIGAN Isn’t he behind double digits in the polls too? MONEYMAKER Those polls are flawed. Our internal polling shows he’s up 99.9%! Let’s get back to the subject at hand though. Seriously injured as I may be, I’ll say this about the Fatal 4 Way: don’t count Theodore Moneymaker out. Moneymaker exits and so do we. Either to the ring, somewhere else backstage or to commercial.

What an awesome entrance that was. The ringside mats were flying all over the place. I think Bischoff even went flying out to the railing. Speaking of Disney/MGM, bad as those tapings were with WCW booking not weeks but months in advance, I liked the look of the original Worldwide set. Much better than Center Stage IMO. It seemed WCW stopped giving a damn about the appearance of the Saturday Night set once Bischoff took over (cool theme though). I mean, talk about bush league. They'd either tack on random pieces of merchandise or put nothing up at all, which looked embarrassing on TV. IIRC, WCW previously used to place a poster of the next PPV on the side(s) of the set. That set would get replaced with the robotic one or whatever that was supposed to be which I absolutely hated. The bad thing about Disney/MGM were the fans, but that's WCW's fault. Oh, and the elevated rotating ring. I'm surprised more guys didn't get hurt by that. I also didn't mind the outdoor Nitros at Disney/MGM in the summer of '96. As for HD, another announcement concerning THS.

We open the show with yet another program I used to watch as a kid. And that’s a much better logo, btw. Excellent promos from Alf, Reject and Melissa to kick things off. Alf trashing the local sports scene never gets old. And am I the only one who hears Randy Orton’s voice whenever Reject speaks? No way did I ever expect the Nerdlys to become as big apart of the show as they have, but I did intend for them to be our Dudleys with all the different family members. Little did I know all would be girls! Leon got burned with Landon’s line about keeping his knees close, just to be safe. That Bo-Jade segment was so good I found myself feeling sorry for the poor girl. Hopefully Bo’s being honest about why the two wouldn’t work and not because he prefers more than reading Muscle and Fitness. Like I told Patty, the finish to BW/CW may be a first in wrestling history. From one first to another as Molly recognizes Leon for his adult films. But man, Rodez might as well throw himself in front of a moving truck because nothing good happens whenever he hangs with Nerdly girls. Sting had Ric Flair and Leon Rodez has Nerdly girls! The In-Terprise segment was gold. Melody went out with Bo once? Damn, you guys have a better memory than I do. Anyway, good stuff with Jade and Melody. Patty did an awesome job with the Race for the School House ‘08. Hilarious. All kinds of great lines. Too many for me to single out...and pick for quote of the show. Brickston vs. Maddix vs. Alfdogg vs. Bo: Hell of a TV main event with a cliffhanger ending! Who is the #1 contender? Guess we’ll all find out next week. MOTN: Fatal 4 Way QOTS: “I'd probably be a much better shoulder to cry on if we can wait like 20 minutes and do this over AIM. Face to face conversations aren't really my strongest fortay. Emoticons > Actual emotions.” -- Melody Nerdly

I approve of the new theme song. Muppet Babies was one of my favorite shows as a kid. Think it aired on CBS. Are my eyes deceiving me or does HD have a new Lakers color scheme? Abuse of power! It’s about time Double C got some love graphically speaking. I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt we should’ve represented them long ago. Bo vs. Lucius Soul: Holy shit! KC finally went through with giving LS “Jive Soul Bro” as his theme! Landon Maddix wants results. Notice how their quest for power has caused some cracks, if you will, in CI and the Enterprise. A fireplace in the locker room? What will they think of next? Anyway, COD and Jade brought the awesome here. Malibu means business. And he’d cut another heck of a promo later on. Tremendous Tyler vs. Uno: Damn, how long has it been since Los Conquistadors last appeared on HD? Even with the power of black magic on their side they can’t get a win. More Krista = more greatness. And damn was this great. The bit about Reggie Lamont had me LMAO. The OAOAST continues to be a pioneer in pro wrestling/sports entertainment. The WWF wishes they could’ve handle recasting the roles of Razor Ramon and Diesel as smoothly as we I did. Mr. Dick ain’t done with Krista yet. at Biff. I know I’ve said it before, but Reject is on fire right now as a character. Reject vs. Leon Rodez: I told you trouble lurks whenever Leon gets involved with a Nerdly girl. But wow, didn’t see that one coming at all. Sorta reminds me of how HHH/Stephanie hooked up after turning on Vince. MOTN: Reject vs. Leon Rodez QOTS: “When it comes to father's Ned has made Chris Benoit look like Ward Cleaver, I know that.” -- Simon Singleton

First of all, tremendous job on the opening (video was no longer available but I get what you were going for) and graphics, Patty. One of my all time favorites, and maybe the favorite because I can’t remember which others I liked even though I had a few I did! Reject/TK vs. Team Heyross: I was torn between who to root for here. TH have been a favorite of mind going way back, but I’ve liked what Reject/TK have done with the belts since winning them (twice). Needless to say, the match rocked. I still don’t get how LeBron became a Yankees/Cowboys fan in a city rich in sports tradition. Then again, nobody in Cleveland has won a damn thing in what, over 50 years? So I guess it makes sense he’d jump on the winning bandwagon. But it won’t make any sense when he signs with the Knicks or Nets in a couple of years. Hopefully it’s all about the Nike money for him because he won’t ever win a title in those cities. Although we’ll have to wait and see how much better NY improves under Walsh/D'Antoni. Enough NBA talk. Back to ZH and Strutter/Detective Bosley getting ready for the COH. IC Title Ladder Match: at PC’s shirt. As for the match, good stuff. Lots of cool spots, including Evelyn delivering a Van Daminator. I guess Leon really didn’t learn him + Nerdly girls = trouble. Zack once again proves why he’s one of our best promo writers. Helluva segment with him, Moneymaker and a returning Alison. This is what a real life OAOAST would submit to the voters come Emmy time. Yeah, we'd aim that high! Jade vs. Megan: Ever noticed the graphics never show COD wearing real clothes? It’s always a bikini or something skimpy. Not that I’m complaining. Just like I have no complaints about this match. Really well done. Jade’s the best female character going right now. Still got a lot of for COD though. They may not be getting any younger, but they're still America's Sweethearts. I think most of us would have to order the OAOAST No Homo game online. Don’t think I could pick it up in a store with that name. But with the leaked memo about WWE telling UK gaming publications that Triple H can’t be pictured in defenseless positions, who in the OAOAST would that order suit? I say Krista. CW vs. Bo, Boiler Room Brawl: This was the match I was most interested in to see how KC would handle it and he delivered big. There’s something different. A don’t vote PSA! Krista vs. MD: Good shit as usual from POG. My previous questioned was answered here. Krista would likely be our superstar who couldn’t be pictured in a defenseless position. Melody and Baron reunited, if only for 5 seconds! Officially she’s still his manager. Unofficially, we’ve basically stopped using her in the role. Didn’t understand the hand sign so I get no respect. Chamber of Hell IV: Hard to believe we’ve seen 4 of these already. How time flies. What an epic battle this was. As we’ve come to expect in this kind of match, you had a ton of wild spots and crazy weapons, all of which got used eventually. I can’t forget to mention the moose at the beginning. Simon vs. Leon: Bonus bout! Simon gets in some token offense, but it’s a showcase for Rodez who picks up the fairly easy win. The big story is what happened after the match with Melissa and Reject. Unless your Malaysia, it’s probably not good to be a woman in the OAOAST. Bad shit tends to happen to them. PR super serious before the match. He wants revenge for this -- or is it last now? -- past Thursday on HD. Speaking of which, that was a helluva segment to close HD. Alf's promo was incredible. Alf vs. PR: That may have been the longest recap in OAOAST history. But I give it an A for effort. The match itself was nonstop action with numerous false finishes. I found myself thinking it was over a couple of times. With both guys having used everything but the kitchen sink, it made sense for the match to end rather unexpectedly. MOTN: Chamber of Hell IV QOTS: “I guess it's only fitting that a bastard like you has a bastard child.” -- Alison

A [b][color="#FF0000"]multi[/color]-[color="#FF00FF"]color[/color] [color="#2E8B57"]disco[/color] [color="#0000FF"]ball[/color][/b] lowers as “Rock Your Baby” hits, but with the lyrics to “My Dick” to create a funky fresh remix titled “Rock My Dick Baby” that’s bound for the next OAOAST: The Music CD release. BUFFER The following 6-person special attraction is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by MALAYSIA NERDLY and TONY TOURETTES, at a total combine weight of 686 pounds, the team of BBIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF ATLAS, "THE DISCO DUCK" VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYYYYYY VALENTINE and MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEERRRRR DICK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" His teammates posing onstage under a golden shower of pyro, Biff Atlas maintains his distance to avoid a Michael Jackson/James Hetfield type of accident, which shouldn’t be too hard in the HAZMAT SUIT he’s wearing. COLE What is this?! COACH A man who’s resourceful. Not only is Biff protected from stray pyro, but also infectious diseases carried by the likes of Los Diablos de Fuego. You might say that suit’s AIDS tested and Biff approved! COLE I apologize for those remarks, ladies and gentlemen. COACH How come? Nobody apologizes when people make STD jokes about guys like Mr. Dick and Ned Blanchard. Why is that? Because they‘re straight? That’s hypocrisy, Mikey Cole. Homosexuals may be a cleaner people but they’re not [I]that[/I] clean. Besides, the last couple of times Los Diablos and Biff have come in contact, they’ve practically tried to sodomize him! Once ringside Biff Atlas produces a TAPE MEASURE and determines the security barricade isn’t 10 feet from the ring and orders that it be fixed ASAP or he’ll have the event stopped. COLE He can’t do that! COACH Of course he can. Biff wasn’t appointed Health and Safety Officer of the OAOAST for nothing. COLE Self-appointed I might add. As referee Clem Buzzlefoxer and other OAOAST officials -- timekeeper, road agents, etc --correct the violations ringside, [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE8EAqneUbM"]In My Arms” by Kylie Minogue[/url] plays in our next team moving and grooving inside a block of neon oval cut outs (watch the video to see exactly what I mean). BUFFER And their opponents. First, at a total combine weight of 340 pounds, the sexiest team in AAAAALL of Mexico… MORACCA and MARIACHI... LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO! And their partner, hailing from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love and the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, here she is… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCAN!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Krista and Los Diablos burst on the pink and yellow lit stage where they are joined by an assortment of ethnically diverse female dancers. To the ring they go, slapping hands along the way like any baby face worth his or her salt. COLE Fans, before our match begins, I want to quickly remind you that Krista will be competing tomorrow night on the huge SWF super card Genesis against Chance Silver. COACH An event brought to you by Landon Maddix. COLE I knew you’d work that in somehow. But ladies and gentlemen, if you order Genesis and Zero Hour later that weekend, you can get $10 off your Zero Hour purchase by sending a copy of your cable or satellite bill to: [color="#FF8C00"][b]OAOAST PPV Deal P.O. Box 149 New York, New York 10027[/b][/color] In the ring, Krista has the mic. KRISTA We’re here, we’re queer, and honey, we’re ready to kick some rear! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Not to be outdone, Vinny Valentine gives his team‘s response. VINNY (Travolta-esque laugh) Well, sweet cheeks, we’re young, we’re hung, and when it’s all said and done your bells will have been rung! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vinny strikes that familiar Saturday Night Fever pose and gets smacked upside the head by Krista! “Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it.” Vinny whines. “She hits my hair.” Clem shrugs as if to say “What do you want me to do about it?” “You can tell her not to hit my hair.” COLE I guess we can add mind reader along with dancing fool to Vinny’s résumé. COACH What Krista did was uncalled for, Cole. Hitting Vinny in the hair is like kicking a man in the family jewels. It’s wrong. But what’s right is an appearance from ALIX MARIA SPEZIA. Wearing a sexy soccer referee uniform, the Princess of Los Angeles rides in on a…ZEBRA!?! COACH Oh, great. Here comes Woody Allen’s fantasy. A child-like female of legal age. COLE I’m more concerned about the zebra loose in the arena. I hope it’s tamed. Alix skips inside for a consultation with referee Clem Buzzlefoxer and ring announcer Michael Buffer. Lost staring at Alix’s bosoms, Clem nods…and nods…and nods. “So we’re, like, cool and stuff?” she asks. * drools * “Wow, you must really be thirsty, or this job’s harder than I thought.” “Yes,” says the mouth watery World War II vet, “hard.” COACH Clem, you senile old pervert. Wrestling’s only true senior official is escorted to his timekeeper’s table seat, then an official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your referee for this contest… ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MR. DICK/VINNY/BIFF :huh: COLE So much for their 4 ½ advantage. COACH 4 ½? I count 5. Hey, there’s no need for that cheap shot on Tony Tourettes. I bet he could take you in a fight. Malaysia warns Alix to call it by the rules with the crack of her cat ‘o-nines tail, which the Hollywood Bad Girl rightfully interprets as a threat and issues her a… …[color="#808000"][b]GOLD AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD[/b][/color]!?! Apparently it’s supposed to represent a yellow caution card in soccer, but its too plain for Alix‘s taste. MALAYSIA :firedevil: “OK, you know what? I’m not feeling a connection between us, so YOU’RE OUTTA HERE!” The dreaded [color="#FF0000"][b]RED CARD[/b][/color] (actually Jade’s Target card but Krista took it away because Duncan girls don‘t pay for items/clothes, they‘re celebrities) makes its pro wrestling debut and Malaysia is none too happy. Neither is Tony Tourettes. TONY BITCH! CUNT! WHORE! STARFUCKER! ALIX (moans w/pleasure) Oooooh, yeah, I so am. (staring at Krista) :wub: (to Tony) Anyway, red card for you to, Ricky Retardo. COLE Oh, my. Tony Tourettes has also been ejected from ringside! COACH Alix is making Joey Crawford look like a Sunday school teacher. But who is she to call someone else retarded? That’s like… Well, it’s like something. Vinny calms his cousin outside as Mr. Dick has a few choice words for Alix, only to be grabbed in a REVERSE BLUE BALL SPECIAL~! MR. DICK :o * DINGDINGDING * COLE And we’re officially underway. COACH Yeah, after that underhanded tactic. The Human Hard On manages to get behind Krista and takes her down in a waistlock, then floats on top and proceeds to HUMP HER HEAD! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Once finished Mr. Dick lies across the top turnbuckle pretending to enjoy a cigarette. Fuming mad, Krista sprints ahead and punts the Cock Prick in the air, causing him to CROTCH himself on the top rope! “GFQWFQWIYAHAAAH!” (re-read last week’s pose down to understand its meaning) Krista shakes the top rope until Mr. Dick springs back inside, then she traps him in the corner and unloads from the middle rope. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Mr. Dick answers with an inverted atomic drop, but since chicks have no dicks it has little effect. Guys do, though, and sporting a facial expression that says “bitch, please,” the Nortorious K.I.D. kicks the narcissistic SOB in the balls and delivers a WSDDDT(write shit down DDT)! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Krista pulls a tube of lipstick from within her top and scribbles the following message: [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]SWF GENESIS FEATURING: KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS SWF LEGEND CHANCE SILVER SEPTEMBER 26TH ON PPV[/color][/font] Yes, all that. Krista is a woman of extraordinary talent. Now the cover. ONE… TWO… NO! Krista moves and Vinny drops an elbow on MD! As Vinny apologizes to his partner Krista slaps him upside the head. Again. “Hey, what did I tell ya about my hair?” he shouts. “You told me to watch it.” “Right. And whatcha do?” “I hit it.” “She hit my hair. She hit my hair, referee lady.” Alix ponders the testimony heard and rules in favor of Vinny, issuing Krista a yellow card to her astonishment. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" “But, baby,” Krista pleads. “Uh-uh-uh. I’m nobody’s baby. I am the referee in charge.” Alix retorts, pointing to the zebra still ringside. KRISTA :( “Oh, you really know how to melt my heart. OK, yellow card rescinded.” COACH The hell?! Who’s Krista sleeping with to get a call… Oh, never mind. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Seeing how Krista charmed herself out of a yellow card, Vinny naturally thinks a cool cat like himself can get Alix to overturn her decision…again. His best puppy dog face on display, he struts up to Alix and receives a yellow card! “That’s for thinking I’m stupid, stupid.” Vinny’s really :( now, and a DOUBLE DROPKICK from Los Diablos doesn’t help matters! Out to the floor he goes and face to face he comes with the zebra, which becomes attracted to Vinny’s zebra pattern bellbottoms! COLE We’re about 30 seconds from broadcasting live on Animal Planet, fans. Vinny dashes to his corner. Luckily for him, the animal handlers intervene before the zebra could give chase. Inside, Mr. Dick gains control, clubbing Krista from behind and then wiping out Los Diablos with a clothesline! COACH Who’s kicking rear now, Cole? COLE Krista and Los Diablos got caught paying attention to what was going on outside. Not that I can blame them. Back on the apron, Vinny wants the tag and gets it, then plays a painful version of Dance Dance Revolution on Krista while shouting “for my hair!” The Disco Duck then grabs a handful of Krista’s, but as he’s about to yank back he’s elbowed in the gut. Doubled over, he watches Krista go by and tag Moracca. But he gets both Diablos and the homies don’t hug, they LICK the side of his face ala the Bushwhackers! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mariachi exits as Moracca wrings the arm of Vinny Valentine, but Vinny responds in kind and is hip tossed. The Vin-Man complains about the use of tights, and like a good referee should Alix questions Moracca about it. COACH Good luck with that. Like he’s gonna admit to it. Cleared of any wrongdoing, the action resumes with both men locking up, and Vinny lands a forearm to the side of the face. He then whips Moracca across and charges in, but the flaming luchador floats over the top of him and sprints to the opposite far corner. Vinny follows but drops down as Moracca leaps onto the middle rope, only to foolishly pop up and point out how smart he is. When he turns around he’s by a pair of boots courtesy of a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE Vinny might be missing a few teeth after that one. He got caught good there. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Moracca signals for the Famasser, but Vinny blocks the kick that sets it up and taunts the flamboyant masked man. ENZURIGI~! COLE That’s what Vinny gets for his cockiness. Vinny wanders to the wrong part of town and gets nailed by Krista and Mariachi before getting placed in an arm wringer that has his free hand used to rub Moracca’s genitals! COACH Poor Vinny’s getting a lot of cock now, isn’t he, Cole? Freaking out, the Disco Duck heads to the ropes to force a break and tags a reluctant Biff Atlas. Hazmat suit and all, the self appointed Health and Safety Officer of the OAOAST clearly would rather not be in the ring with either Diablo. “BIFF IS A WHIP!” “BIFF IS A WHIP!” “BIFF IS A WHIP!” COACH Whatever happened to southern hospitality? Upset by the chant, Biff grabs the mic. BIFF Excuse me, but I am not a whip. I remind you that professional wrestling is a very dangerous sport. Simply walking across the ring could lead to a torn quadriceps. So I ask that you please refrain from calling me a whip. However, if you wish to be vocal I suggest it be something constructive such as “SAFETY FIRST! SAFETY FIRST! SAFETY FIRST!” As Biff unsuccessfully leads the crowd in chant, Los Diablos make the exchange. Mariachi coming up the rear to sweep Biff off his feet and ride him like a pony, slapping that ass while wearing the HASO’s hazmat helmet and yelling "Giddy up!" "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick and Vinny rush in, but Krista and Moracca cut them off with a pair of drop toeholds, then ride them both! That earns Los Diablos a pair of GREEN CARDS from Alix! COLE This place is going crazy! COACH And I think I’m about to puke with this blatant disregard for the rules by Krista and Los Diablos. They’ve been in well past the allotted 5 seconds. Once Krista and Moracca have had their fun they return to the apron. Meanwhile, Biff throws Mariachi off and teaches us all why it’s important to ALWAYS WEAR SAFTEY GOGGLES as he connects with a running high knee! The cover. ONE… TWO… “OW!” Biff yelps after Moracca stomps him to make the save. Rubbing the back of his neck, Biff informs Moracca that wasn’t very nice and demands an apology. Instead he gets dropkicked from behind and punched in the face as he stumbles forward, then back again to be rolled up in a SCHOOL BOY! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mariachi ducks a clothesline and tags Krista! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Biff decides its time to check how Clem and the other OAOAST officials did fixing the guardrail issue from earlier and tags an off-guard Vinny Valentine who quickly tags Mr. Dick. No one else to tag, Mr. Dick mans up and tells the Notorious K.I.D. to bring it. She does and the two opponents Sunday night at Zero Hour trade blows. Just when it appears MD is starting to gain the advantage KID mounts a comeback. MD takes a nosedive following a series of VANITY PUNCHES, and then Krista comes off the ropes with her trademark SALSA KNEE DROP! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Krista hooks MD for a bulldog, but as she sprints forward and leaves her feet, Mr. Dick shoves her off towards the corner where she CROTCHES HERSELF ON THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Alix covers her mouth in horror as he beloved partner in life writhes on the mat in excruciating pain. The complete opposite can be said for Mr. Dick who grins from ear to ear. He adds to Krista’s ovarian discomfort with the COCK SHOCK! COACH I guess we can rule out Krista having another child anytime soon. Ha! Caught between a rock and a hard place, Alix motions over the originally referee assigned to the bout, Clem Buzzlefoxer, and TAGS him. “Krista gets real grumpy after losses,” she informs ’ol Clem, “although it also makes her real kinky in bed. Anyhoo, I don’t want to risk Krista fingering my spine out of my baby maker during our adult play time for counting her out, you know?” “Safety first.” chimes Biff. “You got it, dude.” COLE A referee exchange during the match? Well that’s certainly a first, not to mention bizarre. The count from Clem! ONE… TWO…. KICKOUT! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MR. DICK :angry: COACH Mr. Dick, Vinny Valentine and Biff Atlas were robbed, Cole. They had the match won. Mr. Dick places Krista on the top turnbuckle and proclaims, “BARON WINDELS, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!” “No, honey,” Krista interrupts, “[I]this[/I] one’s for [I]you[/I].” A nice swift KNEE TO THE BALLS, that is. COLE Why Mr. Dick continues to obsess over Baron Windels is anybody’s guess, but it may come back to haunt him in a big way. “K-I-D!” “K-I-D!” “K-I-D!” The crowd chanting her name, Krista balances herself on the top rope and does a little grind before stomping both feet down onto the stomach of MD! She then makes the tag to Moracca who comes in a house afire. “Ooh, ooh. Tag me. Clem, tag me back in.” Alix begs. Unfortunately Clem lost his hearing aid sometime during the middle portion of the match and since his eyesight is poor he’s unable to read lips. Moracca slams MD and Vinny, but needs Mariachi’s help to handle the bigger but not necessarily badder Biff Atlas. They both duck a clothesline and backdrop Biff on the rebound, then whip him to the corner where Mariachi dives across the middle rope to keep him trapped as Moracca flies in with the TOOTIE FROOTIE BOOTY BUMP to the face! COLE Los Diablos en Fuego. COACH :rolleyes: DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL FACE FIRST SLAM takes care of Vinny. Then the guys signal for their spike tombstone piledriver finisher, the Sodomizer. But Krista wants the honor of spiking MD. Los Diablos play to the crowd and they approve. As Moracca scoops MD up, the Cocky Prick grows about 7 more inches and pokes the Diablo in the eye! He then shoves Mariachi into Krista, knocking her off the top and down onto the apron and finally the arena floor. Alix quick to her side. Mr. Dick covers Moracca. ONE… TWO… THREE!!!! * DINGDINGDING * Mr. Dick rolls outside to celebrate with his teammates. Excessively. Like Boston Red Sox only clinching a playoff birth excessive. BUFFER Here are your winners… VINNY VALENTINE, BIFF ATLAS and MR. DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That’s gotta be the all-time most shocking ending to a match, fans. I mean… how do you even describe it? COACH Mr. Dick beat Krista. COLE His team beat hers, yes. COACH That’s what I said. Mr. Dick beat Krista. COLE No, her team. COACH They were on opposing teams, right? COLE Yes. COACH And his team won. COLE Right. COACH Which proves my point. Mr. Dick beat Krista! COLE (groans) We’ll be back.

No problem with Bo being used for a 6-man.

Landon taking his loss to Krista hard. But hell, there aren’t many people who can say they’ve beaten the Notorious KID. Krista’s like the hardest level of a video game, a female version of Hulk Hogan. Helluva opening segment with Zack and Moneymaker. As I’ve said in the past, Zack’s one of the best promo guys we have. Then again, everybody here but me is! at the BB/TT segment. TT had the Quote of the Show with his donut line until Alf got an even better one in later in the show. Blonde vs. O’Hara: Nonstop action. Liked the use of SYN. Tremendous promo from Alf. Whether 9-Mill returns I don’t know, but that’s an interesting way to write him out. He just liked it better in Japan. The line about GQB’s name was gold, and then the zinger on Curtis. Wow. Good stuff from Ragdoll, Mickey and Sr. too. Megan/Holly vs. Jade/Melody: Maybe it’s because of the personalities involved, or the thought of these sex kittens really going at it, but this is my MOTN. For the first time ever, I didn’t need the aid of a dictionary to understand what the hell CW said. Yay! $45 for Zero Hour?! I guess somebody in upper management got the memo about milking the fans out of their money. But for one of our second tier PPVS? I hope we’re sending a free gift to everyone who mails in their cable/satellite bills. The pose down was awesome. It had everything you’d expect from a non-wrestling masterpiece written by Patty -- political commentary, Alix being Alix, cameos, and pictures, pictures, pictures. They were old to me but new to all of you. I once again bow at Patty’s greatness. Heat’s ready for his match. Leon's a brave man to do an interview with another Nerdly girls. Those chicks have caused some drama in his life. Alf vs. Heat: Good TV main event with a shocking finish. Shocking because I didn’t see that coming at all, figured it’d be a DQ. Heat went down like a man though. He passed out. MOTN: Megan/Holly vs. Jade/Melody QOTS: “I got news for you two; raiding your grandmother's panty drawer does not make you a Bad Boy." -- Alfdogg

I know it’s late, but some feedback is better than none, right? Yeah, that’s what I say. When I remember. Anyway, pretty good show I thought. While there weren’t a lot of matches (only 2), you had some noteworthy stuff, namely the return of Rag doll (Patty once told me about him) and the ambush on Bo. You also had some great promos from Patty and EWC. Now that I think about it, the Badd Boyz remind me a little of HBK/Diesel when they started running around together in 1995. I think they had a name themselves. 2 Dudes with Attitudes I think. MOTN: Alf/Sandman vs. PR/Heat QOTS: “Its my pleasure to do the kind and right thing. And lemme offer you a heart felt thank you for keepin your clothes on right now. Because, I got an eye doctor appointment, and yer fat Edmonton heffer donkey titties could blind me from here until the rapture. Ha-Ha! I can't see, doctor, I can't see, the cow done blinded me! She done ambushed me and she done melted my eyes with her saggy breastes! Ha-ha! Son, now just read this chart from left to right, left to right, and tell me what letters you see. All I see is the donkey titities, the horrible donkey titties of Melissa Nerdly! She looks like Eddie Murphy from Shrek!” -- Mr. Dick

“Sympathy for the Devil” hits and Theodore Moneymaker is carried in on a THRONE by random musclemen under the supervision of V.I.C.E. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Executive Officer of the Enterprise… THEODORE MMMMMMONEYYYYYYYYYYYYMAKERRRRRR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Seated ringside on his throne, Moneymaker lights up his smoking pipe with a $100 bill and laughs. COLE Last week it was a robe and diamond ring. This week it’s a chair fitting of a king. What’s next, a golden statue of himself? COACH We cannot honor our messiah enough, Mikey. He saved an entire company and therefore our jobs by his efforts and those of his legions of supporters. COLE If you weren’t already brown I’d say you had a spot on your nose! “Superstar” by Lupe Fiasco replaces Theodore’s music and the Beverly Hills Blonds walk the red carpet filmed by their #1 fan Molly Nerdly. The trio is taken by surprise when they’re not allowed up the ring steps by V.I.C.E. COACH What’s going on here? A glance at Moneymaker reveals the reason. Pipe in mouth and head turned, the Billion Dollar Heir casually points to his $ shaped diamond ring. SIMON/NED/MOLLY :huh: Caught off-guard and somewhat embarrassed, the BHB and Molly kiss the ring. MONEYMAKER :lol: COLE (disgusted) Oh, how degrading. COACH We all must kiss the ring, Cole. Nobody’s superior to Theodore Moneymaker. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing… Buffer has the microphone ripped out of his hands by Simon. SIMON We’ll handle things from here, sport. Go have a seat and enjoy the show Ned Blanchard’s about to put on for your entertainment. NED You damn right, son. In just a few moments we’re gonna learn whether a generic brand like Baron Windels matches up to a brand [I]name[/I] like Ned Blanchard. After last week I got a receipt with your name on it, Windels. Tonight I’m gonna return the ass kicking! “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy cues and Baron Windels emerges to an ENORMOUS pop. Well, not really (not everybody can get the 1980s Hogan pop), but it’s a respectable one nonetheless! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron flings his shirt at the BHB and they hightail out of the squared circle. It’s not until the crowd’s died down a little that Ned returns inside. COACH How smart is Ned, Cole? Very subtle thing he did there, letting the crowd wear itself out. COLE Ned Blanchard a seasoned pro. He knows what he’s doing, no question. * DINGDINGDING * Both men lockup as the bell sounds and Baron Windels gets snapped over in an arm drag. So proud of himself is Ned, he takes a bow to a chorus of boos. Ned doesn’t let the haters bother him and locks back up with Baron, throwing a kick to the gut…but Windels blocks the cheap shot and scores with an ATOMIC DROP. Blanchard’s momentum springs him off the ropes and into a BIG BOOT, knocking the Handsome Hustler out through the ropes! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Simon rushes to his partner’s aid and helps him up. Ned in no mood to be filmed after what transpired, shielding his face from the camera. Then it’s back to business with a SLAP to Baron’s face. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Blanchard’s the only person in the house who doesn’t realize what a bad move that was. He learns the hard way though, dropped to the seat of his pants with a single punch! COACH That ought to be a disqualification. Baron just punched Ned with a closed fist right in front of the damn referee. Whatever argument Coach has is lost when Ned responds in kind. A slugfest ensues and Ned Blanchard receives the worst of it. He grabs a headlock out of desperation and is shoved off into the ropes, the victim of a dropkick on the rebound. Blanchard begs off in the corner, luring Baron into a false sense of security that allows him to land a back elbow to the temple! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Planted mid-ring courtesy of a back suplex, Baron manages to avoid a knee drop and hook Ned for the FIGURE-4. Luckily for Ned, Simon hops on the apron…and eats a roundhouse! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Awaiting Baron when he turns back around is Ned Blanchard and a back elbow that sends the Lone Star Gunslinger tumbling over the top! COLE The referee needs to keep a close eye on Simon here. COACH Like he’d do anything to break the rules. Simon does as Ned distracts the ref, whipping Baron into the guardrail and seeking Theodore Moneymaker’s approval after. A simple nod from the OAOAST Messiah bringing a smile to his face. Meanwhile, Baron pulls himself on the apron and Ned suplexes him inside. POINTY~! ELBOW off the ropes…but nobody’s home! Baron shakes the cobwebs and wrings Ned’s arm. The Handsome Hustler goes to the eyes to break free, then fires BW across. Windels ducks a clotheslines and levels Blanchard on the rebound with his patent RUNNING BUTT BUMP! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard is set on the top for the SUPERPLEX, but Simon grabs Baron’s leg as he lifts Ned in the air and the Handsome Hustler falls on top! COLE Simon’s got the leg! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! BARON :huh: * DINGDINGDINGDING * "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Another incredible win for the Beverly Hills Blonds! Err, I mean Ned! COLE No, you had it right the first time. Simon and Ned have stolen another one. Theodore Moneymaker leaves his throne and is welcomed inside by Simon and Ned. But that’s as much communication they have with the man who signs their checks as Theodore heads straight for the referee. COACH What do we have here? After some words the ref WAVES OFF THE PIN and RESTARTS the match. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SIMON/NED :o COLE You’ve got to be kidding me!? The BHB look to Teddy for answers but he’s none to eager to provide them. Backs turned, BW BULLDOGS the BHB and covers Ned! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! MOLLY :bubbles: * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Hands on hips, Moneymaker shakes his head in disappointment while the BHB are still seeing stars following the bulldog. Baron Windels, meanwhile, celebrates his win by going around ringside slapping hands until he bumps into V.I.C.E. COACH Uh-oh. There’s no love lost here, Mikey Cole. Fist clinched, BW stands tall. Noticeably impressed with how Baron handled the situation, Theodore orders CPA and Detective Bosley to let him pass. The Gunslinger cautious as he goes by. COLE I don’t know what to make of this, fans. So let’s go to break or somewhere.

Baron Windels vs. Ned Blanchard

Tacked the BW/BHB segment on to the end of my match.

KC, I wasn't sure if the segment you had planned was to follow my match or not, but I made sure not to do anything too crazy at the end so we could easily transition to that if need be. “Sympathy for the Devil” hits and Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker graces us with his presence. The Billion Dollar Heir outfitted in a new lavish white robe with $ symbols everywhere. COLE Boy is Theodore Moneymaker really playing up the whole messiah thing. COACH He’s not playing up anything, Mikey. Teddy IS the OAOAST Messiah. And he’s headed our way! COLE Well this is certainly a surprise. The Coach gets on a knee and kisses the diamond $ shaped ring on Theodore’s hand. Cole, however, is reluctant to do so, but eventually goes through with it to move things along. MONEYMAKER :lol: COACH Welcome Teddy. MONEYMAKER Thank you, Coach. It’s a pleasure to be here. Unfortunately your friend and mine, our Inspirational Leader, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, was unable to attend because he’s down in Nashville sharing his infinite wisdom with Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young. BWAHAHA! COLE After your parade was rained on last week, Theodore, a lot of people thought you might not show tonight. MONEYMAKER And I bet whoever concocted that little stunt banked on that. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil! Never before have I been so humiliated in my life. But I want the person or persons who committed that act, which borders on terrorism as far as I’m concerned, to know their deed will not go unpunished. As we speak, V.I.C.E. is hard at work on the case, and if anybody can solve this mystery it’s them. "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco is cued, as the Beverly Hills Blonds arrive on the red carpet. Their every move filmed by Molly Nerdly on the Siclopse BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, representing THE ENTERPRISE, at a total combined weight of 460 pounds, "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD and "BOX-OFFICE" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Once inside the BHB practice various blocking techniques. COACH Teddy, like me, you gotta be expecting great things out of the Blonds tonight. MONEYMAKER Indeed I am. It’s no secret I haven’t been happy with their lack of production in recent months, and while I’d prefer not to handle company matters in-house, sometimes you need to call a person out in order to motivate them. COLE But calling them disappointments? I seem to recall they held the World 6-man tag titles along with CPA just last summer. MONEYMAKER The Enterprise holds the men and women it employs to higher standards, Michael Cole. We don’t rest on our laurels, that’s what nickel-and-dimers like you do. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "Liberate" by Disturbed blasts over the speakers as Bo storms out to thunderous applause that’s almost as loud as the PYRO going off behind him. BUFFER And their opponent, representing THE IN CROWD! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina, weighing 284 pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BOHEEEEEEEEEEEMOTHHHHHH!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Do these fans love Bo or what? MONEYMAKER I wonder if they’d still be cheering that monster had it been their daughter, sister or wife he raped. COLE Now hold on a minute. You’re more than welcome to stay out here and lend your expertise to our next match, but not if you’re going to spend all your time smearing Bo’s name. We soon learn why the BHB were practicing blocking techniques prior to the bout, as they successfully deny Bo entry into the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What is this? MONEYMAKER Strategy. BWAHAHA! To make matters worse, referee Clem Buzzlefoxer signals for the bell and starts counting Bo out! BO :huh: * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and the BHB have theirs rung as well, courtesy of a DOUBLE COCONUT! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo grabs Simon and Ned by the head from the apron and dumps them over the top, leaving him standing tall inside where he poses for the masses as a giant banner that reads “PASS THE ‘SAULT” goes by in the background. COLE I don’t think this is how the Blonds envisioned the opening scene. MONEYMAKER Somebody confiscated that sign. The BHB regroup outside, with Simon telling the gang “take 2.” And as director, he takes charge. Chest puffed, Simon walks up to Bo all big and tough, but a tiny step forward is enough to send the Beverly Hills Blond into retreat! COLE Simon just got PUNK’D! Embarrassed in front of a national television audience, Simon SLAPS Bo! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” MONEYMAKER There you go, Simon. That’s how you respond. BO :angry: SIMON Oh, shit. Bo chases after Simon, following him outside until he puts on the brakes realizing the BHB want him to run out of gas. Back in the ring a tag is made, and the Handsome Hustler challenges Bo to a test of strength. COACH I love you, Ned, but I question your judgment here. And rightfully so, because Bo twists Ned’s wrist like a door knob! Blanchard answers with a thumb to the eye, then unloads with rights and stinging knife-edge chops before whipping Bo across…but Bo reverses and stiffs the hell out of Ned with a MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Simon enters and eats a YAKZUA KICK! Into the buckle Ned goes, and Bo stays on the attack, ramming his shoulder into the midsection of the Handsome Hustler again and again. Fired out of the corner Ned is PRESSED in the air and SLAMMED hard onto the canvas. In total control Bo glares over at Theodore Moneymaker and signals the end is near. MONEYMAKER :firedevil: COLE Oh, my! Bo’s looking to end this one early! Thumbs up. THUMBS DOWN~! Bo scoops Ned up, swings him around… AND DOWN RIGHT ON TOP AFTER A CHOP BLOCK FROM SIMON! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” MONEYMAKER/COACH :lol: Ned hooks the leg. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The BHB tag and Simon goes right to work on the clipped knee, dropping a series of elbows before placing Bo’s leg on the bottom rope and crashing all his weight down onto it! Writhing in pain Bo is subjected to verbal abuse and paint brushing. COACH Mackie’s gotta be enjoying this wherever she’s at. MONEYMAKER I’m sure she is, Coach. And the Blonds are doing the smart thing here. They can’t match power with Bo -- very few people can -- so they took his wheels out. And we both know a car can’t drive without its wheels. SPINNING TOEHOLD is applied and referee Clem Buzzlefoxer is surprisingly right on top of things for a change, checking to see whether Bo wants to continue or not. Of course he refuses to submit, but the pain on his face is clear. His back towards the BHB corner, Simon receives additional leverage from Ned who yanks on his tights! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" By the time Clem is able to turn his 84-year-old boy around, Ned’s flirting with chicks ringside. Another tag is made and Simon decides to have a little chat with Clem as Ned STOMPS, STOMPS AND STOMPS Bo in the GROIN! MONEYMAKER That’s one way to ensure Bo never harms another woman again. BWAHAHA! COLE :rolleyes: Ned goes back to the spinning toehold…BUT BO WRAPS HIM UP IN A SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Blanchard kicks out and decks Bo with a back elbow. To the middle rope goes the Handsome Hustler and he delivers a POINTY~! ELBOW! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. But a rather weak one, evident by the period instead of an exclamation point. Nevertheless, the match rages on with Bo introduced to the boot of Simon Singleton. Following a tag, Simon proceeds to CHOP the hide off Bo in the corner. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Suddenly Bo turns the tables, shoving Simon into the corner after knocking Ned off the apron, but the Handsome Hustler is fast to pull Bo’s leg out from under and slams it against the steel ring post! MONEYMAKER Bo getting a taste of his own medicine. Now he’s the one flat on his back and helpless! The BHB make their 30th tag of the match, or so it must seem to Bo as he’s been on the receiving end of a beating for quite sometime, and Ned Blanchard slaps on the FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK! COACH He’s got him right in the center of the ring, guys. COLE Can Bo hang on? Just how much more can he take? ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Bo narrowly avoids getting himself pinned, raising the shoulder right at the last second. “LET’S GO BO!” “LET’S GO BO!” “LET’S GO BO!” Gritting his teeth and clutching his knee, Bo takes a deep breath and incredibly starts dragging Ned and himself towards the ropes. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I don’t believe this! What power! As they near closer Blanchard releases the hold and drops a knee to the head, then slams Bo mid-ring and makes the tag…LAUNCHING SIMON OFF THE TOP AND DOWN! COACH The Atomic Blond! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO, KICKOUT…WITH AUTHORITY!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SIMON :o After the initial shock wears off, Simon charges Bo. MURDERLINE~! And one for Ned too. Pumping with adrenaline the Metrosexual Monster shakes the top rope like a wild man, then plants Simon with a RUNNING POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Bo moves and Ned drops an elbow on Simon! Hands on head Ned apologies to his partner, then walks into a FRONT SPINEBUSTER~! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” So caught up in the action Bo forgets who the legal man is and covers Ned. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA! Just as I’ve said all along: million dollar body, 10 cent brain! Meanwhile, Simon has rolled outside, forcing Bo to go out and get him. And right there in the middle of it all is Molly Nerdly. The aspiring filmmaker placing herself in harm’s way in order to capture all the action. Unfortunately a little too close as she bumps into Bo. BO Hey, watch it. MOLLY RAPE! The cool dude that he is, Bo laughs it off and carries on about his business, rolling Simon back inside. But then from out of nowhere CHRISTIAN WRIGHT appears and delivers a nasty CHAIRSHOT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What’s he doing here? MONEYMAKER Protecting an innocent young woman from the Sexual Monster. Amazingly, Bo is hardly fazed, which freaks the hell out of CW. A high speed chase ensues and both men vanish backstage. Luckily for the BHB, referee Clem Buzzlerfoxer was distracted caring for the delicate little known as flower Molly Nerdly and therefore missed the sneak attack. So with no Bo around he starts counting him out. 1... 2... 3... COLE No, not like this. 4... 5... 6... COACH They’re gonna win. They’re actually gonna win! 7... 8... 9... 10! MONEYMAKER :lol: * DINGDINGDING * Moneymaker puts down the headsets and sprints towards the ring. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Theodore joins the BHB and Molly inside and it’s nothing but love. The group celebrating as though they won every title in the company. COLE I can’t believe they’re happy with the way they won. COACH Hey, a win’s a win. COLE We have more action ahead, but standing by right now, Terry Taylor with a familiar face. We cut to our backstage interview position where Terry is joined by OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan. TERRY That’s right, Michael. After a brief hiatus, I’m pleased to hand the mic back over to our colleague Tony Brannigan. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The microphone is exchanged and so is a handshake, followed by Terry’s exit. TONY Well thank you very much, Terry. You know, ladies and gentlemen, ever since my active wrestling career ended I’ve had a blast in my new role, one that I hope to have for years to come, but it was great to be back in the ring once again, even if just as a referee. I know a lot of you weren't pleased with the outcome of the match I officiated at Angleslam, and maybe I did let a few things slide on [i]both[/i] sides, but I promised you a winner and we got just that. Enough about me though. Right now I’d like to bring in my guest, hot off the heels of his big victory a couple of weeks ago at Angleslam, Baron Windels! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Lone Star Gunslinger walks into view with a big smile on his face and an equally big cowboy hat. BARON How are ya, Tony? TONY I’m doing well. As I’m sure you are following Angleslam. BARON Yessiree. I tell ya, it was by far the most grueling match I’ve ever been involved. My former tag team partner may be a dick, but he’s also one tough son of a bitch. Our toughness is what made the Lone Star Gunslingers one of the best tag teams in OAOAST history. It’s a damn shame we never got to see just how great we could’ve became. Brannigan and Windels are then SPRAYED by CHAMPAGNE as Molly Nerdly leads a jubilant Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard into view, all wearing party hats and blowing noisemakers. TONY Gentlemen, I beg your pardon, but this isn’t New Year’s Eve, nor is it your interview time. SIMON It is now, Tony, baby. By the way, Teddy says the check's in the mail. TONY :rolleyes: SIMON Besides, I don’t think Baron here minds. BARON I do, actually. NED Oh, a bit uptight, huh? Nothing a little champagne won’t fix. Here, have a drink. The Beverly Hills Blonds are in a celebratory mood because Simon and I proved we are who we say we are, superstars, beating Bo from pillar to post. The BHB blow their noisemakers in Tony and Baron’s faces, then place party hats on their heads. This looks especially funny on Baron Windels because Simon puts it right on top of his cowboy hat. Baron removes his party hat and stares a long good look at it. BARON Happy 9/11? SIMON Yeeeah. Not our idea. Abdullah picked those up at a novelty store in Saudi Arabia. NED Hey, are you gonna want a drink or not? I’m spending valuable time sober on a very somber day. BARON And you’re disrespecting that day with your embarrassing conduct. SIMON Jesus, dude. He only offered you a drink. BARON What, is he some queer? NED :o SIMON People have called Ned plenty of names, but… heh … that’s never been one of them. NED You damn straight that’s never been one of them. If anybody here’s a queer, it’s your sorry ass, Windels. Ain’t nobody ever popped off on me. BARON I think your lucks about to change. With that, Baron pops Ned in the mouth with a big roundhouse, knocking the Handsome Hustler on his ass! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tony Brannigan scrams as Baron motions for Simon to bring it, but he thinks better of it and decides to stay put next to Molly drinking champagne. As he exits, BW walks past Theodore Moneymaker who surveys the damage. MONEYMAKER (turning back at Baron) :hm:

Handicap Match The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. Bo

Just when you thought Papa Nerdly had planted all his seeds, yet another flower blooms! So, is she designed to replace Maggie as our interview girl or what? Oh, and in case you didn’t know, good stuff as usual from Patty. PATD vs. DDB/Jumbo: Fun little match that degenerated into a brawl towards the end with the DA and others getting involved. Then we had two match announcements for Zero Hour and the tag titles being vacated on a technicality. Alix and Jade have such great chemistry together. Holy shit! Tim Cash sighting. And in a match no less, which he wins! CAE & Jamie O’Hara vs. Internationally Known: Too bad I already used my “fun” comment for the first match. Aw, shit, I’ll go ahead and use it again. Fun little match. Love what KC did with the Bo recap, going the extra mile to make it seem like an actual video package. Detective Bosley vs. Bo: The Metrosexual Monster extracted a measure of revenge here. Yeah, that’s all I got. Hey, at least I’m feed backing, if that’s even a word. Krista and Alix to possibly marry!? Reject/TK vs. Team Heyross: Heck of a main event. Liked the finish. It put the belts back on Reject/TK without having to job TH. MOTN: CAE & Jamie O’Hara vs. Internationally Known Highlight of the Show:

Riverwalk Invitational Battle Royal: Like Patty said, great choice for an opener. Cool ending, and Faqu was perfect in the Diesel role. Has MISTER Warrior ever won a battle royal he’s participated in? If not, maybe that could be the payoff to the running gag at some point. He actually wins. at Josh kicking Reject in the balls. Reject’s been on fire in recent months. The part about the specs thread got a chuckle out of me. Women’s Title, Jade vs. Malaysia: Damn, J-Math is one fast dude and cool motherfucker given what took place moments ago! Anyway, priceless pre-match promo, and I second the love for the Little Miss California nickname. The match itself was tremendous. Patty has the reputation of being our comedy writer, but Alf’s been doing a hell of a job lately with Vinny and the BB. It’s so politically incorrect it’s awesome. TLC Tag Title Match: Team Heyross is back! And what a kick-ass match this was. Loved the comment about Shayne being 86 feet in the air. Hyperbole at its finest. It’s funny though. I was disappointed when Team Heyross lost the titles, now I’m a little disappointed Reject/TK aren’t the champs anymore. It’s a testament to the job Alf’s done making people care about the title. A fact made even more amazing when you consider he’s juggling so many different characters at once. I, sir, salute you. IC Title, Colin Maguire Jr. vs. Jerme Grey: Dr. Zoidberg (great user name, btw) has done a heck of a job with this feud, and turned in a fine match. Devil’s Playground: Uh-oh. Hopefully PFL hasn’t gone AWOL again. As I've said before, he's one of our best match writers. MITB Finals, K.I.D. vs. Landon Maddix: at trying to explain Terry’s super speed. Our excuse is simple, the previous interview was pre-taped. Sorta like how the Texas Tornado has yellow trunks on during his pre-match interview with Mean Gene at Summerslam 1990 but then magically appears seconds later in white trunks. Anyway, great shit as usual. You gotta love Krista’s in match banter, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Lithuanian announce table before. Sweet! OAOAST Championship, Iron Man: Anybody who dares write an Iron Man match deserves our admiration. It’s probably the one match I’d refuse to write. No way could I do that without going insane! It’ll take a few days to read the entire thing, but a few things struck out at me. One, the number of total falls, including an insane amount in the final 6 minutes or so in the match. I found that to be an interesting twist on the usual 2-1 or 4-3 format often used. And two, the “surprise” ending, assuming the reader stuck around to the very end because had I not known something was going down I would have thought the show was pretty much over with Cole and Jesse going on and on. It also was an interesting twist to the whole heel-tries-to-screw-baby face-after brutal-match. Damn was that a convincing finish, and maybe would’ve been a more exciting way to close the show, but I take it this means Alf and PR will feud now. Big thumbs up there because we went through a stretch where anything involving the World title was absent from our shows. Overall, AS was a rousing success. Even though the show wasn’t posted until September, it capped off a tremendous month of August for the OAOAST. MOTN: Jade vs. Malaysia QOTS: “Aye matey! Shiver me timbers and all that! See, now I get why those Scottish people in pirate movies say that. Because wearing no underwear is really making my timbers shiver something rotten right about now!” -- Alix Maria Spezia

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! In One Hour... 14,849 babies are born. 5,936 people die. 8,378 planes take-off in the U.S. 1.23 million passengers contemplate disaster. 9,166 times lightning strikes the Earth. 1,560 times you blink. You think of sex atleast 21 times. Cut to a montage of Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston clips. In One Hour... Their hearts will beat 7,320 times. They will lose 7 pounds. They will suffer more hits than a quarterback will in an entire season. And they will see their lives flash before their eyes. We see a quick (and I do mean quick) montage of the careers of Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston. CUE: FAST-PACED, HIGH IMPACT ROCK MUSIC~! We see another montage of Brickston and PRL clips. BRICKSTON (V.O.) For one hour... THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) I will punish you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I will destroy you. BRICKSTON (V.O.) I will humilate you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I will embarass you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) ...you will feel my wrath! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) ...you will feel my hate! BRICKSTON (V.O.) For one hour... THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) ...you will know who is the best! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) ...you will know who is Greatness Personaified! The fast-paced, high impact rock music ends. As does the montage of PRL and Brickston clips. In its place is a black screen. There is nothing but silence as the following words appear on screen in blue. AFTER ONE HOUR... THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE MAN... THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE CHAMPION The One & Only Anglesault Thread presents a double main event... OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP Tha Puerto Rican vs. Brickston 3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH The Usual Suspects vs. Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly Plus 7 more incredible matches! So crank up the AC. It's Angleslam!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" LIVE! Alamodome San Antonio, Texas The fans are on their feet and screaming, many holding signs displaying their support or disdain for various OAOAST superstars. Then it's over to the guys at Sofa Central. COLE In front of a sold out crowd of over 65,000, welcome to Angleslam. Michael Cole and The Coach here with you for the next 3 1/2 hours, and Coach, what a card we have tonight. COACH The hell with the rundown. Let's get this party started! COLE And we're gonna kick things off with the Riverwalk Invitational battle royal, so let's go to Michael Buffer!

Two parts here. If possible Patty, I'd like the first segment to open the show, like a cold opening. So it'd be this and then the actual show intro, etc. We open the program not from Minute Maid Park, but with an aerial view of Reliant Stadium, home of the NFL’s Houston Texans. Inside a stage has been setup on a raised platform, the likes of which you’d typical see at a concert or political convention, with a "WELCOME SHAREHOLDERS" banner hanging overhead and Enterprise logo on the video wall. There’s even live entertainment courtesy of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS who perform with the spotlight solely on them as the rest of the stadium is blacked out. COLE You are looking live at Reliant Stadium, not too far away from where we are tonight for HeldDOWN~!, where for the first time ever the Enterprise will televise their annual shareholders meeting. COACH And there’s no doubt Enterprise shareholders are a happy bunch following the big win by their CEO Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly at Angleslam. I for one cannot wait to hear Theodore Moneymaker address the shareholders. COLE You would because you’re [I]one of them[/I]. COACH I know a good stock when I see one. COLE And I know HeldDOWN~! begins right now! The next part should go on sometime before KC's match with Bo vs. Det. Bosley. Patty Rule in effect, and this segment may need your midas touch. I wanted to get this done before Sunday so I could enjoy the football games, as result it's not as good as it could've been. COLE Right now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s take you to Reliant Stadium where I understand Theodore Moneymaker is moments away from addressing Enterprise stockholders. We cut back inside Reliant Stadium where the Heavenly Rockers are still performing, sweating profusely under the Texas heat. Though much of the place remains darken, we can make out all Enterprise members in the front row, with the Beverly Hills Blonds and Molly dancing to the music while Christian Wright crunches the cost of the party on his Enterprise issued notebook computer, earning him a WTF look from Mackenzie. Also present, handling the event’s security, V.I.C.E. LOGAN Yo, your attention span please. Here’s a little number my girl and I wrote especially for the Enterprise. We call it "Story of the Enterprise". COLE Dear God, no. I thought we had dodge a bullet. Are we really gonna have to listen to Logan Mann sing? COACH Hells yeah! It gets even better, folks, because it’s a husband and wife duet! LOGAN (clears throat; sings to the tune of "Don‘t Stop Believing" by Journey) Just a big city girl, livin’ in the movie capital of the world She took a cab goin’ anywhere HOLLY Just a billionaire’s son, raised with a silver spoon in his mouth He took the charter jet goin’ anywhere LOGAN A boxer turned bouncer in a smoky nightclub Dreaming of a management shakeup While out in Beverly Hills, two blonds were looking for a thrill So there story goes and goes and goes The Enterprise bob from side to side holding lighters in the air. HOLLY Strangers meeting, coming together from all walks of life To all form the greatest stable to ever be born LOGAN Looking for a thrill without having to pay the bill It was obvious Theodore Moneymaker’s Enterprise fit the bill Sign on the dotted line and the money will come running to you Win if you can, lose if you must, but never share your loot Because it’ll leave your opponents singing the blues Whining because they don’t know how to combat you HOLLY It’s the story of the Enterprise The group of men and women that make you cry And this past Sunday you found out why Logan begins playing a killer guitar solo. COLE Somebody please bang the gong. What a god awful song. COACH I personally love it. But I’m not surprised to hear people your age hate it. COLE My age!? I’m only 3 years older than you! SYNTH And now, ladies and gents, the Heavenly Rockers proudly introduce to you the guiding light of the OAOAST, the man who told us it’s better to hate than love… ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY! Minus the belly dancers, the Inspirational Leader bravely appears before the faithful in a NECKBRACE. Touched by the warm reception Abdullah kindly motions for everyone to be seated. ABDULLAH Bless you! And bless all those gathered here tonight and watching on television. My people, for the first time in my life I am proud to be a OAOAST employee. Following the glorious event that was Angleslam, the dark cloud that loomed over the OAOAST has passed. The stranglehold Zack Malibu and his cronies had over this great company of ours is no more, and we have one man to thank for that, my dear friend Theodore Moneymaker. The BHB, Molly, Mackie and CW go crazy with the rest of the stockholders, who still have yet to be seen. ABDULLAH Under his command, Brother Theodore led his squadron of Allah’s humble servant and Christian Wright to victory against an enemy deemed unbeatable. Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez could not lose in such a high stakes match they said, and they were proven to be wrong. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED They suck! SIMON Yeah, whoever they are. ABDULLAH Americans took their might for granted, as they always do. Just like the Titanic, the Twin Towers or New England Patriots, nobody thought The Usual Suspects could be brought down. But they were and with their defeat a message was sent to all: The Enterprise is the only true dominate force in the OAOAST! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ABDULLAH Yes, praise be. Praise be for you. Praise be for the Enterprise. Most of all, praise be for our messiah Theodore Moneymaker! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ABDULLAH Fortunate as we were to emerge victorious, I unfortunately suffered an injury at the hands of Bohemoth. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MACKENZIE :angry: ABDULLAH Yes, my children, the same Bohemoth who committed a violent assault on a precious young woman. I was already in a world of hurt after receiving an Attitude Adjustment from Tony Brannigan, whose job was simply to count the 1-2-3 not engage in fighting with a participant or participants, but I forgive him. I do not, however, forgive you, Bo. You scooped me up, spun me around and drove me recklessly into the mat with the Erotic Awakening of Bo. Even the names of his moves have some kind of sexual connotation, as though we needed further proof this man is indeed a sexual monster. COLE They’re gonna keep up that sham? COACH The truth hurts, Cole. ABDULLAH The brace that I will need to wear for sometime is merely a reminder of the evil that lurks in our world. Painful as it was, it did not break my neck, nor did it my spirit. Allah willing, Bo…YOU WILL BE DESTROYED! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ABDULLAH It now gives me a great deal of pleasure, as much as Bo gets for raping people of their innocence, to present the messiah of the OAOAST... THEODORE MONEYMAKER!!! The Heavenly Rockers play a live version of “Sympathy for the Devil” and the shareholders ERUPT. COLE Is my hearing bad, or did Abdullah Nerdly really proclaim Theodore Moneymaker our messiah? COACH After Teddy liberated the OAOAST you’re telling me you still aren’t a believer? COLE It seems like a blasphemous statement. COACH You never said that when Zack Malibu was running around calling himself the Savior of the OAOAST. Boy does that shut Michael Cole up. Anyway, dressed to the nines, the Billion Dollar Heir embraces Abdullah like a long lost brother. The Inspirational Leader planting a kiss on both of Teddy’s cheeks. "TEDDY!" "TEDDY!" "TEDDY!" Moneymaker beams with pride as he stands tall at the podium, a ginormous [color="#808000"][b]“MI[color="#2E8B57"]$$[/color]ION ACCOMPLI[color="#2E8B57"]$[/color]HED”[/b][/color] sign behind him on the video wall. MONEYMAKER Thank you. Where do I begin? How do I begin? How can I express the joy I feel tonight, knowing that the American people have put aside their differences to join me in my fight against evil? Is there anyway to state how happy I was to see good triumph over bad at Angleslam? I won't lie to any of you, I was afraid for a moment. There were serious doubts in my mind that the established order of the OAOAST could handle this In Crowd threat. I thought progress would be derailed, and the OAOAST would be thrown back into a time where Zack Malibu and is ilk were still relevant in someway. What would life have been like then? Horrible that's what it would've been like. But I came through. We came through. Even those who weren't in the ring stood tall and said "No! No you will not derail progress, no you will not destroy the established order of the OAOAST" and we came out with the victory. We have won the battle and we have won the war! Just as soon as the In Crowd began, it ends as well. I will mourn them as I mourn all my enemies, but I will celebrate to a better and brighter future with all of you! And because I‘m in such a good mood, all of you will receive a bonus of $250,000... CW/MACKIE/SIMON/NED :D MONEYMAKER ...except for Simon and Ned because they lost. SIMON/NED :o MONEYMAKER (shaking head) I’m very disappointed in you. To lose to a team such as Team Heyross, a team who's lack of class, lack of flair, lack of spirit, and erry simillarity to the former general manager who's name I will not speak, is devastating. I felt two great pains that night of Angleslam, one was when Krista took home my half a million dollars, and the second one was when you lost. I never fully placed my trust into Landon Maddix, but I certainly gave it all to you. And you failed me just like he did. Like children who just learned Santa isn’t real, the BHB are devastated. For once Molly stops filming on the Siclopse to console the two. MONEYMAKER (upbeat) But not with my spiritual guide, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. How ‘bout a round of applause for our Inspirational Leader, who sacrificed himself after our match at Angleslam so that I wouldn‘t be tied to the cross by Bohemoth? "AB-DUL-LAH!" "AB-DUL-LAH!" "AB-DUL-LAH!" COLE Is this a shareholder’s meeting or a political rally? COACH Hey, the people love Teddy for liberating us. Abdullah waves to the faithful. MONEYMAKER (to Abdullah) I don’t know where I or this company would be without his guidance. Rest assured the Enterprise will cover your medical expenses in full. The Spiritual One blesses Theodore. MONEYMAKER And a brief word of warning to the man who injured this religious icon, Bohemoth. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER You’re a very lucky man, Bo. If not for your celebrity you’d currently be sharing a jail cell with a redneck named Bubba. But don’t you go celebrating yet, because tonight you’ll be going one on one with the newest member of the Enterprise... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY! BWAHAHA! The Boz sinisterly slaps his TELESCOPIC BATON against the palm of his hand. COLE Oh, my, a new member of the Enterprise! MONEYMAKER Make no mistake about it, Bo, justice will be served tonight. And as the Spiritual One eloquently said earlier on, now that the dark cloud has disappeared there will be plenty of opportunities for those such as Christian Wright, the Beverly Hills Blonds, Abdullah Nerdly, the Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood, Mr. Dick and Malaysia, all of whom were previously "helddown," if you will, by the men who once loomed large over the OAOAST. COLE Give me a break. Nobody’s ever been purposely held down. Funny how Moneymaker names only people who support his cause and not guys like Los Diablos de Fuego or Colombian Heat. COACH Yeah, because they suck. MONEYMAKER With the old guard finished, together the next generation of OAOAST superstars will take the company to places attention whores like our previous General Manager and Zack Malibu never could. Suddenly a PLANE buzzes overhead, causing everyone to duck and then have a laugh once it passes over. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA! For a second there I thought we were under attack. The plane buzzes over again, but this time [color="#A0522D"][b]DIRTY BROWN WATER[/b][/color] drops from the heavens, soaking everyone but V.I.C.E. who managed to be in the right place at the right time away from the front row and stage. COACH The hell?! Mackie runs screaming out of the picture dripping wet, then the lights come on to reveal NOBODY in the stadium other than the Enterprise. The cheers, jeers and chants were piped in! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The live crowd viewing the proceedings from Minute Maid Park absolutely loves that the Enterprise got humiliated. COLE I knew it! There’s no way a decent human being could support Theodore Moneymaker or his causes. Detective Bosley inspects the watery substance and informs his boss that it’s not just regular water but dirty, nasty...[color="#A0522D"][b]BONG WATER[/b][/color]! MONEYMAKER :firedevil: The camera pans up at the single engine plane flying overhead with a banner attached... "PASS THE ‘SAULT!" COACH What kind a message is that? COLE One that’ll get the attention of Theodore Moneymaker. * COMMERCIAL *

Enterprise shareholders meeting, a fancy way of saying victory celebration but I notice we got a couple other parties going on so I'm trying to be different. Hope to have this done tonight, but tomorrow afternoon at the latest. It could be good, it could be bad, or somewhere in between. We'll see.

Here's our (Patty & I) part of the AS match. I thought about PM'ing this to you, but it may have exceeded the word count and I'd rather not take the chance you only get half and and never realize it. Patty's got the intros, which are to come soon. Standing in the center of ring is Michael Buffer with a blue spotlight shinning down on him as the only illumination in an otherwise darkened arena. The roar of the crowd is gigantic and the legendary announcer is forced to strain his voice to be heard. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our mainevent of Angleslam 2008! There's a huge pop from the audience who foist up their pro-In Crowd anti-Enterprise signage. BUFFER It is a three on two handicap match made in Corporate Greed scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Let's meet the trouble shooting special guest referee as appointed by Josie Baker! The cameras roam towards the entrance where blue and purple lights beam from the edges of the sherrif's badge. "Simply Ravishing" kicks up to a huge ovation from the Texas faithful. Welcoming their cheers with raised hands as he steps through the saloon doors is Tony Brannigan, outfitted in the usual attire of a referee. The former world champion pauses with hands on hips to gaze out at the sea of fans as the blue and purple lights continue to swirl around him at a slow deliberate pace. BUFFER He is a three time tag team champion, a former world champion, a true OAOAST Original, he is one half of the one of the greatest tag teams of all time Black T, ladies and gentlemen please welcome to Alamo Dome....TONY BRANNIGAN! Tony smirks and nods to the fans, who are all but on their knees worshipping the OAOAST legend. He walks down the entrance ramp with a slow step taking in his moment in the spotlight for all its worth and soaking in the every cheer of the San Antonio audience. As he trots up the stairs he remains ever confident, showing no signs of intimidation from this high profile role. COLE Its hard to have to bring this up about a guy like Tony Brannigan. But can he be trusted? He is Theodore Moneymaker's cousin and even though they've had their problems in the past, blood runs thick, and so does the cash Moneymaker shoved into Brannigan's pocket this past HeldDOWN~! We like to think our champions and our legends have integrity but with stakes this high, I just don't know. COACH Yo, I don't think Josie picked T.Bod out of all the OAOAST superstars past and present if he wasn't gonna look out for her boy. The money Mister Moneymaker slipped in his pocket is just gravy, baby. A brilliant green glow engulfs the entrance stage, making it look like some sort of sci-fi wild west themed jungle overran by unseen but malvolent plant life. With this fantastic showing of colour comes the detested theme song, and the flood of boos for the men it heralds. [i]Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith[/i] Saloon doors swing open, and with that comes a tremendous increase in the hatred of the audience. Yet, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, dancing with the Koran close to his chest, is immune to such anger with his broad and loving smile serving as his shield. Behind him comes Christian Wright, grinning from ear to ear, attired in a blue blazer, black tie and blue slacks. He holds his arms out to his side and grins even wider in self satisfaction as Abdullah now performs his joyful dance around him as though he were some holy statue. At their side is their leader. Theodore Moneymaker, expression one of arrogance, his hair slightly unkempt, his body shining as it pours into red tights with dollar signs on the side. Hooked on his arm is a smug faced Mackenize DeCenzo, looking as ravishing as Brannigan's entrance music with a black halter evening dress with wood beans draped around the bust. BUFFER Introducing the competitors being accompanied to the ring by the Money Honey Mackenzie DeCenzo! First he weighed in at one hundred eighty seven pounds, and stands five feet eight inches, he is "The Speaker for the Prophets" and an "Inspirational Leader" to man. He is from Las Vegas by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, by way of Damascus Syria, representing The Heavenly Rockers he is ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY! And his partner weighing 8 1/3 bars of gold, now residing in Washington D.C., he is the Enterprise's Financial Analyst, CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! And finally from Vero Beach, Florida, this man needs no real introduction he is the CEO of The Enterprise, the second largest investor in TSM, the heir to Moneymaker fortune, he is THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Three green and red pryo explosions rip through the air from the top tips of the gigantic sherrif's badge, each bringing equally booming laughter from the throat of Moneymaker. As they walk down the aisle trailed by a train of boos, Christian removes his tie and jacket and arrogantly tosses them to the floor. Abdullah makes quite the show of himself, both singing high praises for his partners and dancing with celebratory glee. COLE The Enterprise is deadly. Their 2008 has seen them change Jade's life by revealing that she's Krista's daughter, get Anglesault fired, Josie hired, break up Rescue 911, and finally have Bohemoth arrested for rape! COACH Dudes is cold, a week in the Saraha couldn't melt them. They frost bitten, touch your hand a finger gonna fall right off. But, let me get this out right quick, props to Mackenzie for having the strength and courage to stand out here today. She's a survivor! She ain't gonna give up. Mackenzie takes position on the outside turning up her nose at the fans to offer her total attention to applauding her troops that enter the ring. Abdullah plays ambassador to Tony Brannigan and offers him words of prayer and blessings. Moneymaker, however, strangley ignores his cousin. Instead he practices his boxing, by punching Wright''s open hands and getting boastful words of encouragement from his best friend. They then share a hearty laugh and a hug, a sign of certain confidence in this pivotal bout. After so long an absence, the famous drum beat returns to OAOAST television, and brings it with it the deafaning screams of sixty thousand fans. Being so excited that they're barely able to maintain sanity, the fans joyously clap along to Weezer's Beverly Hills. They nearly scream themselves hoarse at the sight of Leon Rodez, clad in an In Crowd varsity jacket as opposed to his usual robe. Mimicking his image on the video screens, The New Age Love Machine does a qucik 360 twirl. He drops to his knees, and with a huge smile taking over his face points to the saloon doors. Right on cue, Zack Malibu, emerges to another stunning roar. He lacks all of Rodez delight and happiness, glaring at Moneymaker and crew through the beautiful droplets of his golden pyro fall, his hatred sizzling as hot and as brightly as that fireworks display. He tosses his varsity jacket to the floor and motions for Leon to follow him down the ramp. BUFFER And their opponents,, Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and Providence, Rhode Island respectively...they weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, twenty eight pounds. They are former OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ... ZACK MALIBU... THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!! COLE The Usual Suspects back in action! Don't let The Enterprise's stunt on the House of Worship on HeldDOWN~! fool you, these men are as tight as brothers. Leon has had Zack's back for years and vice versa. COACH Is that right? I only remember Zack helping out Leon once when Jade turned on him. He didn't do shit to help him through the Money In The Bank tournament. He never did nothing back when Brickston was messing him up. But when The Franchise so much as gots a hang nail he expects The Silky Smooth one to be right there with the tweezers and the bandaid. Don't get it twisted Zack is a user. Even with men who want to wipe him off the face of the OAOAST staring him down, even with Reject's cautionary words still fresh on his mind, Leon is as gregeraious and good natured as ever. He slaps hands with the fans, and of course gives much love to his female admirers with pecks on the cheek. Zack is the perfect example of stone faced determination, not even reacting when his white pyro pillars explode into a tower that nearly reaches up to the ceiling. Amidst all the cheering and chanting of he and Leon's names, he looks dead into the camera and says "This one is for you, Bo." COLE Leon Rodez is very famillar with The Enterprise and what they're capable of. Christian Wright and Zack Malibu have met once before for the HI-YAH world title at Zero Hour, he has many experiences both good and bad with Tony Brannigan, but has never in his life faced Theodore Moneymaker. Zack needs to beware, because Moneymaker is a damn dangerous competitor, and an evil son of a bitch! Entering the ring, Malibu hardly knows which man he wishes to attack first. Abdullah for ruining his classic match with Nathaniel Black, Christian Wright for his snobbish arrogance, or Theodore Moneymaker who has orchestrated this entire stable warfare. Thankfully he has the much more level headed Rodez to keep him from doing something he and his pocket book will regret. "USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS!", the audience pays loud respects to the former tag team champions. The camera pans across the outside area to show an unusual amount of security guards, headed up by The Enterprise's Detective Bosley and CPA. V.I.C.E's guards are heavily muscled men, thick arms folded across even thicker chest, all clad in black and wearing the same stern expression. COLE Tony Brannigan is here to keep order, but Josie may not have as much faith in him as he thought with guys like that around. I'm not sure how impartial these guys will be if they're led by V.I.C.E, however. The last thing we need is them ruining this classic contest. COACH One of the In Crowd is a woman hating disgusting rapist, another has left his jizz in every crackwhore in America, one is a crackwhore, and the leader pulled on a gun on a dude once! And you're harping on V.I.C.E? From across the ring Zack's chilly glare shoots bullets at Theodore Moneymaker, and his mouth utters threats of violence to come. Any other man would be looking for the quickest way out of town, but Moneymaker welcomes the hatred and bile, and hollers at the OAOAST legend to put actions behind his words. Its unlikely Zack can hear over the roar of an audience that's still on their feet, but Moneymaker's defiant expression gets the message across clearer than any words ever could. COLE The atmosphere inside the Alamo dome is like nothing I've ever seen before. Folks, I wish you here with us for this one, its something else! DING DING DING With the ringing of the bell the fans launch another huge ovation into the air as the two stable leaders come face to face in the ring for the first time. Malibu stands tall and proud, his brown eyes never once blinking. Moneymaker isn't nearly as stoic, and makes a pouty face, arrogantly rubbing in all that he's done to disrupt the state of Malibu's beloved OAOAST. He gives Zack's cheek a light tap and snickers bellow the shocked reaction of the crowd. His laughing is cut violently short, though, when Zack cracks him across his handsome face with a slap! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE Oh boy! Here we go! Let's make history! Moneymaker is first in shock and then in anger. And its anger that throws a haymaker at Malibu. But The Franchise ducks beneath and quickly scurries behind his foe. As The Billion Dollar Heir turns around, he's tagged with a series of right hands that have the crowd shouting in delight. Moneymaker comes back with a right of his own, but Zack throws up his forearm to deflect the blow. The unexpected block has the billionaire teetering backwards. Its a position Malibu is quick to take advantage of when he launches his foot forward in a School's Out! But, Moneymaker reacts with lightening quickness and catches onto Zack's boot. He slams it back to the ground in a huff, and merely chuckles at the OAOAST poster boy's failure to execute his finisher. COACH Zack almost had the knockout right there! He can't be doin that to the second largest investor in TSM though. That ain't right. Imagine if at the world series or some shit, Manny Ramirez just chucked a ball at Rupert Murdoch's head. Don't make no sense! Zack fires off several more punches that come within inches of a bobbing and weaving Moneymaker. The Enterprise leader efforts a counter attack by trying to meet Zack punch for punch. But, Malibu is a hair faster and rips a knee into his six packed stomach. A cruel smile lights up Zack's face, as he begins lighting up Moneymaker's chest with furious knife edge chops. The audience hoots and hollers as Moneymaker's face sags in agony. Mackenzie realizes that Zack could chop her boss straight to his bone, and in order to end his attack, the fetching lass steps onto the ring apron. The distraction works to perfection; Zack pauses to demand her removal, and Moneymaker capitalizes by swatting him in the back of the head. "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" "SILENCE!" Christian screams from his perch on the apron. The wealthy Floridian latches onto Malibu's arm and attempts to Irish whip him towards the corner. However, Zack reverses the hold, and throws Moneymaker into the ringposts with such hellish force that the tycoon is lifted up and over the turnbuckles and thrown to the outside. His two hundred thirty plus pounds gracelessly crash to the outside and the response from the Texas audience as well as a shrieking Mackenzie is deafening. "MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!" sing the audience, as Mackie rushes to check on the man who signs her paychecks. Once she's assured his check signing hand isn't broken, her concern lessens just a little bit. COLE Zack is PO'ed! He just threw a man nearly twenty pounds heavier then him all the way out this ring. That's scary power from our Franchise! Equally scary is the enraged look that possess Zack's face as he leans over the ropes and orders Moneymaker to return to the fight. All Theodore can offer is miserable groans, so Mackenzie bickers with Zack for him. But Malibu quickly grows tired of dealing with her and prepares to leave the ring to fetch Moneymaker himself. However, he's halted by a clubbing forearm from Christian Wright! "BOOOOO!" "I do believe, I ordered silence!" Wright complains as he hammers Zack's back with open handed slaps. Having weakened his opponent enough with this attacks, The Natural guides him to the corner. He places him against the posts, and begins bashing his fist across Zack's face. As Wright's hands make mincemeat out of Zack's defined facial features, special referee Tony Brannigan warns strongly about closed fists but shocking allows the proud 2005 Rookie of the year to remain in despite there being no tag. CW adheres to the caution and ceases his illegal attacks, but only does so in order to push Zack lower to the ring. This allows him to put his Brooks Brother's dress shoes directly onto the head of the three time world champion. Zack screams in agony, which is but music to Wright's ears. "LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK!" the fans try to rally the ultimate good guy. "SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!" Wright demands, but only gets it when he quits using Zack's face as a welcome mat. He and Brannigan have several words in the middle of the ring about his tactics, an argument prolonged because T-Bod has no idea what anything Wright says means. This debate allows for sneaky play by Abdullah. He rushes to Zack's position, lifts him to his feet by his blond hair, and begins mercilessly clawing at his eyes! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE Come on! Abdullah claims to be a leader of men, but do you think you ever saw a leader of men like Martin Luther King tear at someone's eyes? COACH MLK once shot at Malcom X over a dice game. And Rosa Parks once fucked up JFK on some crack beef. True stories right there. By the time Brannigan notices the booing, Abdullah is back in his corner, offering his thanks to Allah, and Zack is back to his feet seeking offers for good optometrist. Wright marches over to him, and shreds at the skin on his chest with his trademark European uppercuts. Desperate to be free of these flesh searing strikes, Zack grips onto the ropes and guides his weak legs down the ring. But CW stalks his path and chips away at his strength with punches to his back. Zack, however, fights back against him with a boot to the stomach that shoves The Natural away. Greatly annoyed by the strike, Wright snarls and charges in and [b]EATS A SCHOOL'S OUT![/b] "YEAAAAAAA!" screams the audience, getting back to their feet! COLE Christian Wright, School is out, and you've been knocked out! Is that it for The Enterprise in this epic bout? The answer to that question is a resounding no, coming from a BILLON $ KNEELIFT from Theodore Moneymaker! "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" Not exactly appreciative of the unkind words, Moneymaker [i]spits[/i] at the front row audience which simply works to increase the entire arena's furor. The CEO of The Enterprise then turns his anger upon Zack Malibu and smears his face with A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! While the fans boo his signature strike, Moneymaker goes for the first pinfall of the contest, his forearm pressed against the face of the Franchise. ONE! TWO! Zack gets his shoulder off the mat! COLE Zack isn't going to go down like that. Not this early in the contest. Not ever in fact. COACH Zack is facing a very different breed of superstar in The Enterprise. A smarter, more intelligent breed. And a richer one! Go on and get yo paper, dawgs! Moneymaker scrapes Zack off the canvas by the waistband of his blue tights. He shoves him into a neutral corner, and takes aim at his ribs, blasting them in an unrelenting assault. The Billion Dollar Heir then cuts short that attack in order to watch with a giddy pleasure as Zack hunches over and winces in pain. Moneymaker picks his head up and offers him a vicious slap across the cheek, returning the favor from earlier, sending a tiny amount of blood from the mouth of The Franchise. "You can't win this war, Zack!" Moneymaker shouts as much to Malibu as to his numerous fans. He grabs onto Zack's arm and pries him away from the ropes to throw him across the ring. But Zack somehow manages to counter and its the billionaire who suffers a brutal crash into the turnbuckles. But Moneymaker shakes off the bone crushing impact and comes darting at his rival with a back elbow. Malibu ducks beneath the rapidly approaching attack and lifts himself onto the second rope. Moneymaker regains his footing only to have his face breakout in fear, as Zack crashes into him with a cross body block! The fans applaud Zack's aerial expertise, and he nods to them as he hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall... ONE! Moneymaker kicks out well before the two, but has to take several moments to regain his breath. With his enemy incapacitated, Zack gets to his feet and heads to his corner where he applies the tag to The Grand Rapids Golden Child! The cheers and applause for Leon Rodez are raucous, especially from the female fans. Le-Ro keeps it cool, though, shrugging his shoulders in an obviously false humility. COLE When this version of the In Crowd got together we knew we'd see The Usual Suspects along with it, but who knew it would be on such a huge stage? Leon charges into the ring at his longtime rival. But Moneymaker charges him as well, and strikes viciously with a devastating running high knee! The shot folds and contorts Leon like origami, leaving him a wounded wreck in just his first few seconds in the match. COLE Leon Rodez, getting planted by Theodore Moneymaker! Moneymaker stands above Leon, his hands held to him, and his sneering face gazing at the crowd, as if to wonder how they can cheer for this man. They boo the former tag champ and their hatred increases ten fold when he drops rapid-fire elbows across the Silky Smooth one's chest. Moneymaker then grabs Le-Ro by his heavily gelled hair and leads him off his feet. He shoves him into the ropes and as Leon bounces back he buries his knee deep into his midsection. The Billion Dollar Heir chortles with a sickening joy, and loving that move so much, he replays it once more. He then throws his foe across the ring. Leon bounces off the ropes, ready to stage a counterattack against Moneymaker. But the Vero Beach native is several steps faster and sends him hurtling through the air with another knee to the stomach! The Grand Rapids Golden Child lands smack on the canvas, immediately clutching his sore midsection. "LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON!" COLE The fans getting behind Leon, who's had so many problems with Theodore Moneymaker in the past. Last year's Angleslam these two met in a five on five match in which Jade turned her back on The Enterprise and went back to the side of Leon Rodez and D*LUX where she belongs. Still holding onto his stomach, Leon begins rolling away from his opponent. But Moneymaker trails his retreat, gazing down on him with a pure contempt. Leon finally reaches the corner posts and with no where to go, the tycoon lifts him up by the purple collar of his singlet and stares harshly into his eyes. After offering Mister Rodez a few choice vulgarities, Moneymaker launches him into the opposite ropes. Leon hits the corner posts with a thud, but there's no rest for his weary bones as Moneymaker charges in with a back elbow. But the New Age Love Machine kicks up his legs and jams both knees into the spine of Moneymaker! While the Billion Dollar Heir lies in pain, Leon quickly scampers to the top rope. COLE Leon going up top! COACH Really, because I couldn't tell and all, with him climbing the turnbuckles only fifteen feet in front of me, two monitors showing the same thing, a scoreboard showing it, and that huge video screen showing it to. So thank you. COLE At least I know the visually impaired are. So there. :P Moneymaker quits pouting over Leon's attack long enough to begin peppering him with shots to his lower back. Given his position there's little Rodez can do besides wail in agony from the attacks. Thus Moneymaker has an easy time of taking hold of Leon and attaching his legs across his shoulders. The fans moan in panic as the hated heel pulls Leon off the ropes and into an unwelcome position. Abdullah holds his hands out in preemptive celebration of what's sure to be a deadly move. COLE Electric chair drop! Not if Silky Smooth has anything to say about, he rotates his limber body out and nauseates The Enterprise CEO with a picture perfect hurricanrana! Immediatley after hitting the mat, Moneymaker crawls on all fours reaching the corner and using it to pull himself up. Leon hounds him, paying little attention to his cowardly efforts to beg off. As such Moneymaker takes an even more pathetic route and sticks his body beneath the ropes, forcing Brannigan to get Rodez to back off. Rodez isn't exactly thrilled with this and argues that Moneymaker is simply doing this because the match is no longer going in his favor, but "rules are rules" says Brannigan. Taking advantage of the discussion between his cousin and his rival, Moneymaker gathers a wad of spit within his mouth and hurls it at Rodez! A huge clump of soggy disgusting spit lands on Leon's cheek, and a small frown forms on his face. Moneymaker smiles broadly and dares Rodez to take a swing at him. COLE Everyone knows Leon doesn't get mad... He gets even, bay-bee, this time by taking his own huge chunk of spit and casually blasting Moneymaker with it! COACH Well, I suppose that’s better than getting cummed on like Baron Windels. COLE Who got his vengeance earlier tonight, just as The Usual Suspects will for Bo and the OAOAST. As the fans roar for doing something they've always dreamed of, Leon gives them a hearty thumbs up. Obviously, not quite as happy as the crowd, Moneymaker comes scorching out the corner with a clothesline. But the quick cruiserweight dodges the blow and comes back at his archival with a spinning elbow. However, Moneymaker deftly sidesteps the attack and grabs a quick waistlock on Rodez. There's a brief struggle from the pride of Grand Rapids, but Moneymaker's expert strength snuffs it out and he school boy’s Leon, which includes a handful of tights! Brannigan counts... ONE! TWO! ...but with help from Zack Malibu and the fans notices the illegal tactic and orders Moneymaker to break, popping the crowd. For his part, Moneymaker just stares at his cousin and curtly asks him to remember where is loyalty lies. COLE Moneymaker was also the one who revealed that Jade is Krista's daughter, which has led to Jade moving from Grand Rapids to Los Angeles to live with Krista. That's been a bit of a sticking point for Leon who was used to having Jade close by in his parents home. COACH Waaah waaaah waaah! Gimmie a break, Mikey, Mister Moneymaker is changing the face of the OAOAST and Leon is all upset because he ain't got no one to go cow tipping with on Saturday nights. COLE There's a lot more to do in Grand Rapids besides cow tipping. There's also pig wrestling and sheep poker. Moneymaker steals a page out of his cousin’s playbook, raking the lace of the boots against the face of Leon Rodez. He then wraps his muscular arms around Leon's neck and leads him off the canvas. As Le-Ro fights to break free he applies the tag to the loathed Christian Wright. As the audience expresses their disdain for the verbose superstar, he scales to the top rope. On the apron Abdullah claps excitedly for the upcoming Enterprise double team. However his joy is short lived, and quickly turns into fear, as Leon breaks out of Moneymaker's clutches. Stunned, the wrestling mogul isn't able to defend himself against Leon shoving him into the ropes. As soon as he hits the cables, he knocks his partner entirely off balance and Wright falls crotch first onto the ringposts. He screams his misery at the top of his lungs, as the audience screams their joy and the top of their's. Leon isn't terribly sympathetic to his misfortune, and points to his own crotch, saying he should've worn a cup. COLE Wright's been a thorn in Leon's side since The Natural got into the OAOAST, so you know that had to feel good! COACH It ain't gonna feel good when Mister Moneymaker gets in Josie's ear and Leon finds himself curtain jerking against OAVW trainees before Syndicated. Pumping his fist ARESENIO HALL STYLE~! to keep the fans making noise, the Michigan studmuffin climbs onto the third rope. But his preoccupation with engaging his fanbase costs him dearly, as Moneymaker recovers to drag him back to the canvas. With his leader holding Rodez in place, Wright gets his dress shoes on proper footing, before leaving that footing altogether with a diving forearm! His eyes go wide with dismay as Le-Ro scoots out the way and Wright's forearm smacks Moneymaker flush in the face. Together they crash into the mat and the sold out dome crowd is absolutely ecstatic! Moneymaker and Wright lie about the canvas, clutching their sore faces, and each trying to blame the other for the miscue. COLE Leon loves to have fun, but he'll getcha every time out! COACH Yeah, yeah, can we talk about why the In Crowd has an all but convicted rapist on their roster and male pornstar, once seen humping a [i]banana[/i] on camera? These fools make the Cincinnati Bengals look like Saint Catherine's school for girls. Having had his fill of Leon's magic for the moment, Moneymaker rolls his weary bones to the outside. He's comforted by Mackenzie, who assures him Wright has it all under control. The Natural promptly proves her wrong by climbing to his feet where he steps into a jab! And a jab! And a jab! And jab! Rodez turns to DA LADIEZ~ and blows a kiss before turning back and getting caught with the Wright Off (Sky high!) Anger quickly flows throughout the dome, as Wright mocks Leon's kiss blowing as he sits upon him for a pin ONE! TWO! Rodez kicks out, shocking Wright who was already planning his victory celebration. The Natural rams Leon into the buckle and unloads with European uppercuts and knife-edge chops, then fires him across to the far corner...but the Silky Smooth One reverses the Irish whip and follows in, diving his shoulder into Wright’s midsection! COLE Superman Spear! And it certainly took a superhuman effort for Leon Rodez to comeback after the punishment he’s received. Wright stumbles out of the corner and Rodez is waiting, taking the numbers cruncher over with a SITOUT HIPTOSS! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Abdullah rushes in and dropkicks Leon smack in the face, and the crowd reacts just as you’d expect, booing the intrusion. Tony Brannigan doesn’t appreciate it either, scolding his cousin’s spiritual guide, prompting Theodore Moneymaker to try and smooth things over. A tag ensues and, having waited till the time was right, Abdullah Nerdly assumes the role of legal man. Still woozy from the blow sustained moments ago, Leon Rodez walks into a flurry of high leg kicks that stagger the Grand Rapids Golden Child. Following a series of forearm smashes, Rodez is whipped to the corner, but Zack Malibu cushions the impact by throwing himself onto the top turnbuckle, shooting Leon Rodez back out at Abdullah who’s leveled by a flying forearm! An exchange is made and Zack Malibu nails Abdullah Nerdly with his trademark Zack Attack! Expecting company, Zack leaps to his feet and backdrops Christian Wright. About to be sent for the ride, Theodore Moneymaker throws himself on the top turnbuckle ala Zack earlier to soften CW‘s landing, but the Franchise redirects the Natural towards the Usual Suspects corner and punts Moneymaker in the air...CROTCHING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! MONEYMAKER :o The Billion Dollar Heir crumbles to the apron in pain, blues and agony as Zack Malibu delivers a tongue lashing on his way back towards the center of the ring, turning into the direction of a SPINNING HEEL KICK from Abdullah Nerdly! COACH That’s what you get for showboating, preppie. Who’s the big man on campus now? Sure as hell isn’t you anymore! Christian Wright receives the tag and waits for Abdullah to turn Zack over in a Boston Crab before coming down with a middle rope elbow drop! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Wright shoves Malibu into the Enterprise corner and brutalizes him with European uppercuts, forcing special referee Tony Brannigan to step in and back CW away. The Natural more than happy to oblige as Theodore Moneymaker and Abdullah Nerdly club Zack like a baby seal behind Tony’s back! COLE Zack Malibu being assaulted in the corner. COACH A walk in the park compared to what Mackenzie DeCenzo experienced. Speaking of Miss DeCenzo, she cheers her team on as they hammer Zack, who displays that baby face fire which made him the franchise by fighting back! COLE The Franchise’s stock is rising! COACH Hulking Up that ain't. Freed out of the corner, standing between Zack and the tag is Christian Wright. Malibu leapfrogs a spear and Wright posts himself! The Usual Suspects tag and the crowd explodes. Leon Rodez a human pinball machine bouncing off bodies and hitting anything that moves, or so it seems. Rolling sole BUTT kick to the gut puts CW in prime position for the EXPLODER SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! NO! Save by Theodore Moneymaker. The Billion Dollar Heir returns to the apron laughing and pointing to his head, but fails to hear Abdullah’s warning and is dropkicked by Rodez onto the guardrail below! Abdullah takes a swing at Leon to divert his attention as Christian breaths up the rear, but the New Age Love Machine isn’t stupid, taking the Natural down with a drop toehold. With CW slumped on the middle rope Leon does a little dance and shoots off the ropes, crashing all his weight... NO! Mackenzie DeCenzo shoves Christian aside and Abdullah whacks Leon with a roundhouse kick!

Alf read my mind. I was going to suggest we postpone this week's show for the very reasons he did. Unlike some of you, I can't just turn it on after checking out mentally for the week (in terms of writing obviously). The PPV took longer than expected to be posted and I pretty much lost interest in doing anything this week because of it. But if the show must go on, then I say give us to Sunday night.

COLE Well folks, we're about set to go with the second half of our double main event, with Brickston challenging the World champion, Tha Puerto Rican, in a 60-minute Iron Man match! This should be a classic confrontation, Coach. Cole turns to Coach, but finds only his empty chair. COLE ...Coach? The camera then catches Coach sprinting halfway down the aisle, before cutting to the back, to a smoke-filled locker room, where Vinny Valentine, Tony Tourettes, Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Felix Strutter, the Burrough Boys, and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew stand in a big circle, arms around one another, moving back and forth. GROUP AS DAYYYYYYYYYS GOOOOOOOOOOO BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TONY WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE WITH HAPPINESS! GROUP AS DAYYYYYYYYYS GOOOOOOOOOOO BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY At that point, Coach bursts in the door, and jumps in the middle of the circle. COACH THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU! ROOM FOR ME! FOR GENTLE HEARTS AN OPPORTUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Everyone has a weird look at first, but welcome Coach into the circle, as he joins arms with Vinny and Sweet Lucius Soul. GROUP AS DAYYYYYYYYYS GOOOOOOOOOOO BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TONY IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE OF THE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! The group finishes off the piano and violin portions of the song by saying "da da da" to the tune of the song, as Tony jumps in the middle of the circle and pumps his fists in the air. The group then converges and starts to cheer, as Coach gets a joint from Vinny. COACH Hold on, how about this one? Coach urges the circle back together. COACH WHEN THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRLD NEVER SEEEEEEEEEEEEEMS GROUP TO BE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING UP TO YOUR DREAMS, SUDDENLY YOU'RE FINDING OUT, THE FACTS OF LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT YOU! YOUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUU As the groups continues to sing, the camera cuts back out to Michael Cole. (The camera cuts to Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.) COLE Michael Cole here once again with Jesse “The Body” Ventura! JESSE “THE BODY” VENTURA It’s great to be here, Cole! I have been looking forward to this match since it was signed! I am sure we are going to see a classic that will be talked about for years to come here tonight in the Alamodome! COLE I believe so, but the question is: which man will come out of the hour OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? The man who currently holds the Title or the challenger? JESSE If you ask me, the answer is simple: Brickston has a lot more to gain from this. He’s the hunter. He is hungry. He is READY. Tha Puerto Rican is just coasting on his laurels. He is NOT prepared for a 60-Minute Iron Man Match AT ALL! This is Brickston’s chance to prove himself LIVE on pay-per-view in front of 68,000 fans in the Alamodome and millions watching around the world, and I seriously doubt he will choke under pressure! This is his match for the taking, and he will take it! COLE It is 60 Minutes. 1 hour. The most falls, determined by pin, submission, disqualification or countout, will win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. It is without a doubt the biggest match in Brickston’s life, and some might say Tha Puerto Rican’s life. Truly, this is the toughest Title defense Tha Puerto Rican has had in his 6 month OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign. Can Tha Puerto Rican go one hour with Brickston and survive? Or will Brickston become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time tonight? JESSE I tell ya, Cole, I am PUMPED UP! I’ve got a ringside seat and I am ready to go! Let’s do this! Let’s go to the ring right now! COLE We are, Jess. We are about to see the entrances for both competitors starting…now! *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the fans to rise up and boo the challenger to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. After a few seconds of waiting, Brickston pushes his way through the saloon doors and steps onto the aisleway. Brickston puts his hands on his hips and looks at the crowd with disgust. Vitamin X pushes the saloon doors soon after Brickston, and stands right beside him, bragging about Brickston’s various strengths and applauding his client. Vitamin X is wearing a gold chain around his neck, a blue dress shirt, a black buttoned up sports jacket, a $1,000 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt and black dress shoes. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston has an evil smile on his face as he looks at the crowd. Vitamin X applauds him. Brickston looks at X and asks him if he’s ready. Vitamin X nods his head and says, “Sure. After you.” Brickston nods his head and walks to the ring, the evil smile still on his face, with Vitamin X walking right behind him, a cocky smirk on his face. COLE Well folks, Brickston made the challenge for this match-up. He not only wants to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but Brickston wants to PROVE that he IS the most dominating athlete in all of professional wrestling and that he is BETTER than his former teacher and mentor! JESSE There is a lot of hatred, a lot of rage, a lot of bitterness built up in Brickston over the past four years. He has beaten Tha Puerto Rican. He has made him tap out several times to the Anklelock in the past. But he has yet to do it in a big match situation. He has yet to beat PRL when it counts the most! Well, what better time to beat Tha Puerto Rican then right here, at AngleSlam, in an Iron Man Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship? This is the PERFECT opportunity for Brickston! This is what he has wanted ever since he quit The Lightning Crew! This is it. This is all he’s ever wanted, and he is getting it tonight! He is going to PROVE that he is BETTER than Tha Puerto Rican once and for all! Brickston and Vitamin X continue walking to the ring. COLE Brickston being accompanied to the ring by Vitamin X, his manager, who was forced to retire last month on the Big Apple Spectacular after losing to Tha Puerto Rican in a Steel Cage Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Brickston has vowed to take someone to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship or die trying! JESSE Four weeks into his managerial career, and already Vitamin X has taken Brickston to the main event of AngleSlam to a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! I think that speaks wonders for Vitamin X’s managerial skills! COLE It also speaks to Brickston’s ability to threaten, bully, coerce, and ruthlessly attack anyone who gets in his way! JESSE Why must you focus on the negative, Cole? Be positive just this once! Brickston taunts a fan at ringside, and then climbs up the ring steps. Vitamin X climbs up the ring steps himself, and then holds the ropes for Brickston to enter the ring. Brickston wipes his feet on the ring apron and then enters the ring. Brickston lets out a mighty roar, drawing LOUD boos from the fans. Brickston has an evil smile on his face as he looks out to the fans. Brickston yells out, “DEAL WITH IT! I’M THE NEW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, BABY! SO DEAL WITH IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” COLE Neither Brickston nor Tha Puerto Rican have been in a 60-Minute Iron Man Match before. Yes, Tha Puerto Rican was #1 in this year’s Lethal Rumble Match and survived all the way until the end when he was eliminated by Cuban Wall. But that was different. PRL spent an hour fighting 29 other men. Here, PRL must fight one man for the whole 60 minutes and if he loses, he loses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship that he has worked so hard for! JESSE Well, all good things must come to an end, although in this case, it’s bad things too! Brickston has the advantage over Tha Puerto Rican in every way possible. Talent, height, speed, agility, strength, courageousness! Brickston is getting his long overdue World Title reign here tonight at AngleSlam 2008! Brickston raises his fists into the air to boos. Brickston has an evil grin on his face. He then heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his fists into the air again to more boos. Vitamin X applauds him inside of the ring. Brickston points a menacing finger at a fan who is giving him “The Finger“. Brickston responds by giving that fan the “Up yours!” hand gesture. Brickston flexes his muscles on the turnbuckle as “Fuel“ continues playing. COLE Brickston’s attitude, his entire personality has changed since he joined the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation back in February. But even though the SJPC is long gone, Brickston’s new arrogant attitude remains the same, and he might have become even MORE aggressive than before, attacking all of those OAOAST Superstars a three weeks ago! JESSE Hey, he did it to send a message, and the message was heard, which is why we have this match tonight! COLE He didn’t have to target all of those wrestlers! They have nothing to do with him! JESSE They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s all, Michael Cole. COLE Oh come on, Jess. Really! JESSE Hey, you try to think of a better way to get a message across to Tha Puerto Rican! Couldn’t think of any? Thought so! Brickston sneers at the crowd. He then gets off of the second turnbuckle. Brickston has an evil grin on his face as he walks over to Vitamin X. Brickston discusses strategy with his manager. COLE Brickston will fight in the longest match of his life starting in a few moments. Is he up for it? JESSE He’s up for it, Cole. The question is: is the Champ up for it? COLE The Champ says he is. JESSE But the Champ has got a big mouth, and rarely does he back up his words with actions! COLE He’s certainly backed up his words with actions since November of last year. JESSE Doesn’t matter! This is Tha Puerto Rican’s toughest test to date, and I get the feeling that he will FAIL this test, something he is all too familiar with! COLE Oh come on! Brickston and Vitamin X look to the entrance. “Fuel” by Metallica dies down. Brickston and Vitamin X both have cocky smirks on their faces. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for the entrance of the World Champion. COLE Brickston is a former OAOAST Italian Champion. Can he add OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to that list tonight? JESSE He can, and he will, Michael Cole! Brickston and Vitamin X are already gloating over Brickston’s victory even though the match hasn’t even started! Vitamin X has a belly laugh at something Brickston said. Brickston and The X-Man continue gabbing about as the crowd itches for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to come out. They starting chanting, “P.R.!” COLE Brickston is in for the match of his life. JESSE He knows that. Brickston knows that he can’t, for lack of a better term, shoot his wad in the first 10 minutes or even the first 30 minutes of this match! He realizes that this is going to go SIXTY MINUTES whether he likes it or not! And he is STILL going to have something left at the end of the 60 minutes. COLE Brickston will be spending 1 hour of his life wrestling a match. And this match is the biggest match of them all! In the locker room, the boys call it ’The Hour’. And this will most certainly be the longest hour of Tha Puerto Rican’s AND Brickston’s lives. JESSE I’m getting goosebumps, Tony Schiavone! I mean, Michael Cole! Let’s get this match started! COLE We will, Jess, as soon as this man comes out… “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down in the Alamodome. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entryway and spotlights circle around and around the Alamodome. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican pushes through the saloon doors and quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist, but he quickly unstraps the belt and then slings it over his left shoulder. COLE Here comes the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, ready to go through 60 minutes of Hell! JESSE He has no idea of the Hell that awaits him when he steps into the ring with Brickston for one hour! Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. COLE 68,000-plus fans are on their feet for Tha Puerto Rican, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He says that he is ’Greatness Personified’! Well, he has a chance to back up that claim by defeating Brickston in the Iron Man Match coming up in just a few moments! Tha Puerto Rican high fives a five-year-old boy, and then climbs up the ring steps. Tha Puerto Rican gets onto the ring apron, and then gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him, and then does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL has a smile on his face as he stops the pose. He nods his head and says, “That’s right! I’m the man!” Vitamin X holds back Brickston and talks to him to calm him down in a turnbuckle corner. Brickston is getting antsy, waiting for the match to begin. COLE You can feel the electricity here in the Alamodome! It’s quite obvious who these fans want to win! JESSE IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THE FANS WANT TO WIN! See what I did there? COLE I saw it, Jess. I saw it. JESSE Good. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with a smile on his face. He looks at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the fans. PRL smiles and plays to the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! YOU KNOW IT! YOU KNOW IT! PRL pounds his chest with his right fist in a sign of respect to the fans. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the opposite turnbuckle corner. Once there, Tha Puerto Rican climbs the second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head again to another pop from the fans. PRL smiles a wide, bright smile as he stands on the second turnbuckle raising his belt for all of the fans to see. PRL points to a fan and smiles. COLE The dream came true at OAOAST AngleMania VII! Will Tha Puerto Rican continue living out his dream after tonight? JESSE I sure hope not! Tha Puerto Rican hops off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to another second turnbuckle. Once there, Tha Puerto Rican proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL turns his head to look back at Brickston, who has a look of RAGE on his face. PRL tells Brickston that he is a “candyass”, which causes Brickston to lunge forward, only to be held back by Vitamin X! JESSE P.R. is trying to get into the head of Brickston before the bell, but it’s not working! COLE It looks like it is to me! JESSE It’s not. This is all a ploy! Trust me on this one! Tha Puerto Rican jumps off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the only turnbuckle he hasn’t gone to yet. PRL climbs the second turnbuckle. There, Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock, receiving cheers. P.R. turns his head back to look at Brickston, but doesn’t say anything this time. COLE There’s room for only one man on top of the OAOAST mountain, and in one hour, we will know who that man is! Will it be The People’s Champion, Tha Puerto Rican? Or will it be Brickston? JESSE We already know the answer to that one, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican climbs down the second turnbuckle and then paces back and forth inside the ring. Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and then hands them over to a ringside attendant. PRL then removes the earring from his left ear and then hands that over to the same ringside attendant. As PRL does this, Vitamin X stands in front of Brickston, trying to get his attention, but Brickston is clearly distracted by Tha Puerto Rican. JESSE Boy, this atmosphere is something, Michael Cole! I mean, it is like the hair standing up on the back of your neck, it is so electrifying in here! COLE The supreme gut check. Physical pain plus emotional distress equals ‘The Hour’! The lights go back on inside of the Alamodome. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and flicks his right wrist. He stands in the turnbuckle corner he was just on the second turnbuckle of. COLE We are just moments away from this HUGE main event here at AngleSlam 2008! Tha Puerto Rican going for another successful World Title defense against a man he has A LOT of history with in Brickston! And Brickston looking to score big in his first ever pay-per-view main event! JESSE This match has HUGE stakes for both of the competitors! Both men should be fighting the match of their lives here in the Alamodome! COLE I get the feeling that they will, Jess! This is NOT a match that happens everyday! This is one of those once-every-blue-moon type deals. But I’m sure Brickston and Tha Puerto Rican are ready for the next 60 minutes! JESSE Brickston, definitely. PR? Eh…I don’t know. COLE We’ll see, Jess. We’ll see. PRL walks back and forth, and then jumps up and down in place, staring at Brickston. Vitamin X continues trying to talk to Brickston, who is still staring at Tha Puerto Rican. COLE You can see the look of determination in each man’s eyes. JESSE I see determination in Brickston’s eyes. I see FEAR in Tha Puerto Rican’s eyes! PRL is about to poop his pants! COLE Will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston stare at each other from opposite turnbuckle corners. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE SO much on the line for both men! Not just the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, but PRIDE as well! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston continue staring at each other. Michael Buffer enters the ring, decked out in a black and white tuxedo with a black bowtie. Buffer has a microphone in his right hand and cue cards in his left hand. COLE We are about to go to the ring to Michael Buffer for the ring introductions. JESSE Make this quick, Buffer! We’ve got an hour long match to get to! *DING…DING…DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the MAIN EVENT of OAOAST AngleSlam 2008! And it is a Sixty-Minute IRON MAN MATCH for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Championship of the World! Sanctioned by the One And Only AngleSault Thread Executive Championship Committee and the One And Only AngleSault Thread Board Of Directors. When the bell sounds, your referee for this contest will be Senior Official Earl Hebner. Now, let me introduce the competitors. First, to my left, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring tonight by his manager, Vitamin X. Wearing all black. From Sacramento, California. Standing six-foot-six, and weighing in tonight at two hundred and fifteen pounds. He has competed in the UFC, K-1 and Pride and has also served in the military. Tonight, he looks to step out of his mentor’s shadow by beating him in front of 68,000 fans here in the Alamodome to win his first World Heavyweight Championship. (The crowd boos.) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Italian Champion. (The crowd boos louder) The master of the Killswitch and the Anklelock. (The crowd boos even louder.) The man who is now simply known as BRICKKKKKSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Brickston steps out of the turnbuckle corner and raises his hands in the air with an evil smile on his face. Vitamin X applauds his client. VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT! NEW CHAMPION! YEAH BABY! NEW CHAMPION HERE TONIGHT! YEAH BABY! YEAH! Brickston steps back into the turnbuckle corner and talks to Vitamin X, still smiling evilly. Vitamin X laughs manically at something Brickston said. PRL stares at the two men with a serious expression on his face. BUFFER And his opponent. (The crowd cheers) Standing to my right. Wearing red, white and blue, the colours of his native Puerto Rico. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Standing five-foot-nine and weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds. He is an OAOAST veteran, having been with the company since its second year in existence. He has garnered many titles, and now he garners the love of millions of people around the world. Once the leader of a dangerous group of wrestlers known as The Lightning Crew, he now stands on his own two feet, his own man. Tonight, he looks to overcome an obstacle that has stood in front of him for FOUR years, and that’s the defeat of his opponent here tonight. (The crowd cheers louder) A former 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion. A former North American Champion. A former X-Division Champion. A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. And the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. (The crowd cheers even *louder*) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the reigning and defending undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooorrrrrlllllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddd! The Badd Boy Of The OAOAST. The P.R. Menace. The Latin Lion. The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling. The Great One. The People’s Champion. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH H!” Tha Puerto Rican steps out of the turnbuckle corner that he was in and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head while the crowd cheers loudly. PRL has a serious expression on his face as he does so. Brickston stares angrily at Tha Puerto Rican. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the crowd. A “P.R.!” chant starts up. Tha Puerto Rican steps back into the turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican stares at Brickston as he slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Vitamin X massages Brickston’s shoulders. The two men glare angrily at the World Heavyweight Champion. BUFFER Now then…ARE YOU READY!? “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Wrestling fans, Are…you…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY!? “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Then, for the thousands in attendance here in the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas. (CHEAP POP~!) And for the millions watching around the world. There’s only one thing left to say: Ladies and gentlemen…LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Michael Buffer exits the ring and climbs down the ring steps, taking his seat next to the timekeeper at the timekeeper’s table. Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston are in opposite turnbuckle corners staring at each other. Vitamin X is still massaging Brickston’s shoulders. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for the match to begin. COLE You can cut the electricity with a knife, folks! JESSE I’m not gonna slap you for using a cliché, since the cliché is appropriate for a match like this! COLE Phew. JESSE But I will slap you if you use it in another match that you call with me! COLE Referee Earl Hebner stands in the center of the ring. He calls for Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston to come next to him. Tha Puerto Rican walks to the right of Earl Hebner, holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Brickston walks to the left of Earl Hebner, his shoulders still being massaged by Vitamin X. Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston engage in a staredown. Earl Hebner has a clip-on microphone on his referee shirt so that the fans can hear him tell both Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston the rules for the Iron Man Match. EARL HEBNER Gentlemen, this match is an Iron Man Match, and it is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. You will be wrestling for SIXTY MINUTES. The man who wins the most decisions will be declared the winner AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. A decision can be earned by a pinfall, a submission, a countout, or a disqualification. You MUST MUST break on the count of four, or I WILL DISQUALIFY YOU on the count of five. IF you leave the ring, OR if you’re thrown out, you will have a 10 count to return or you will be counted out. IF both of you have the SAME number of decisions when the sixty minute time limit expires, then there will be a SUDDEN DEATH period, where the first person to score a decision will be declared the winner and the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. Do you gentlemen both understand the rules? Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston just stare at each other. PRL, now sporting a Caesar’s Haircut with some facial hair underneath his chin, looks at the fans and cracks a half smile. Brickston has an evil grin on his face as Vitamin X massages his shoulders and whispers encouragment into his left ear. EARL HEBNER (CONT’D) Are there any questions? THA PUERTO RICAN No. Brickston shakes his head. EARL HEBNER (CONT’D) Good luck to both of you and may the best man win. Earl Hebner turns off his clip-on microphone. He nods his head. Tha Puerto Rican kisses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and then hands it over to Earl Hebner. The referee thanks Tha Puerto Rican for the belt and then shows the belt to Brickston who touches it and then smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican just looks at Brickston with a serious expression on his face. Earl Hebner raises the belt over his head to let the fans know that this is a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. The referee then hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over to the timekeeper, who walks with it and places it on top of the timekeeper’s table. A graphic appears on screen letting the fans watching on TV know that this is a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. COLE That’s what it’s all about. That’s what 68,000 plus here in the Alamodome are about to witness. An OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match! An Iron Man Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! JESSE I can’t wait for it to start, McMahon--I mean, Cole! Vitamin X and Brickston pound fists. Vitamin X then pats Brickston on the back and wishes him good luck. Brickston nods and grins evilly. Vitamin X exits the ring and climbs down the ring steps, staying at ringside to watch the match. Brickston and Tha Puerto Rican stare at each other. COLE Two men with no love lost for each other are about to get it on. JESSE When the bell rings, those two are going to explode! COLE This is probably the most anticipated match-up in Tha Puerto Rican’s World Championship reign thus far! JESSE P.R. just kissed his belt goodbye! COLE He might have, Jess. After 60 minutes, we will know for sure. Earl Hebner pats down Tha Puerto Rican, PRL not taking his eyes off of Brickston for one second. Earl Hebner goes over the rules one last time with Tha Puerto Rican, who simply nods his head, not paying attention to the Senior Referee. Earl Hebner then goes over and pats down Brickston, Brickston not taking his eyes off of Tha Puerto Rican for one second, a cocky smirk on his face. Earl Hebner goes over the rules one last time with Brickston, who simply nods his head, not paying attention to the referee either. The referee then makes sure both men are ready, and then finally calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” 60-MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion) vs. BRICKSTON (Challenger with Vitamin X) 60:00 Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston engage in a staredown. The crowd is buzzing, excited for the match. COLE And here we go. The main event is on! ‘The Hour’ is underway! JESSE This is going to be great! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston put the badmouth to each other standing only a few inches away from each other. Even though PRL has to tilt his head back in order to make eye contact with Brickston, that doesn’t stop him from laying the verbal smackdown on his longtime rival. COLE Remember, the most decisions in 60 minutes wins the match! BRICKSTON YOU AIN’T NOTHING! YOU AIN’T NOTHING! PUNK! JESSE Talk a little trash. Tell him what this hour is going to be like! COLE I’m kinda glad that neither of those two guys is mic’d. We need to keep it TV-14 here! JESSE I wish they were. Vitamin X roots Brickston on from the outside. COLE Vitamin X apparently going to stay out here the entire 60 minutes! JESSE Well technically 58:47, Michael Cole. PRL and Brickston stand face-to-face (or face-to-chest), spewing venom at each other. Neither man is willing to back down. The crowd is at a fever pitch. COLE So much animosity in this awesome rivalry between these two young studs! Both Brickston and Tha Puerto Rican’s faces are becoming red. Veins on Brickston’s head are bulging out. Tha Puerto Rican raises his voice, so Brickston raises his, so PRL raises his voice even louder, so Brickston raises his, and back and forth the two men go until only dogs can hear them. JESSE I think Tha Puerto Rican just said for Brickston to go and do something to himself, I--um--uh, I’m not sure what. PRL and Brickston are at each other’s throats! Tha Puerto Rican shoves Brickston! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston lock up! Both men jockey for position. COLE HARD, STIFF collar-and-elbow tie-up! JESSE … The crowd goes wild as PRL and Brickston jockey for position! JESSE This is like two bulls! COLE These two gladiators trying to gain an advantage here in one of the STIFFER collar-and-elbow tie-ups you are going to see! JESSE … Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston keep trying to gain an advantage, but can’t, so they both let go…only to go back to the lock up exactly one second later. COLE Right back at it! Both Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston keep jockeying for position as Vitamin X looks on from the outside. JESSE The amount of energy these guys are expending right now! This is not smart on either one of their parts! I know that they both want to take it to each other tooth and nail, but, you gotta be smart in this match! It IS an hour! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston head to a turnbuckle corner, still in the lockup. They keep going back and forth in who’s back is against the turnbuckles until Earl Hebner has to break it up. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Brickston and PRL walk out of the turnbuckle corner, still locked up. They both let go at the same time. Brickston shoves Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican shoves back! Brickston takes a few steps back as PRL runs his mouth on him. COLE Neither man ready to give up just yet! JESSE Of course, you dolt, they’ve only been fighting for three minutes now! PRL and Brickston circle each other, each hesitant to make a move. Both men look at the crowd, who are still going crazy. PRL smiles, while Brickston sneers at the fans. Brickston and P.R. circle each other again. BRICKSTON LET’S GO MOTHERFUCKER! THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston lock up. Tha Puerto Rican applies a headlock on Brickston! P.R. cinches the headlock on tight on Brickston. Vitamin X cheers Brickston on from the outside. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is 5’9” 220 lbs. Tha Puerto Rican has a very fast paced style, but will he change it up? Will he throw some off speed pitches at Brickston? JESSE You can NOT, Cole, you can NOT establish a fast pace in this type of match! It just--it just won’t work in your favour! It will work against you! COLE I am not advocating that he does that, but it is normally what we see from Tha Puerto Rican. He is a smash mouth, in your face, OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! JESSE I realize that, but hopefully, Tha Puerto Rican has realized that he can’t do that for 60 minutes! With 57:03 to go, Brickston stands up from the headlock and knees PRL in the stomach! Brickston slowly escapes the headlock. Brickston turns the headlock into an overhead wristlock! Earl Hebner asks PRL if he gives up, but PRL fights back, getting his head off of the mat to the crowd’s delight! JESSE See, look at this! This is where your pride works against you! Tha Puerto Rican is just too proud, too proud to let Brickston get the upper hand! 56:35 remains on the clock. Tha Puerto Rican does a wristlock of his own, before turning that into another headlock! P.R. cinches the headlock tighter than he did the last time! COLE Tha Puerto Rican back to that side headlock! Tha Puerto Rican’s dream came true, his 10 year journey culminated at AngleMania VII back on March 30th, and since then he has taken on all challengers. He survived two men, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix and “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, in a Triple Threat Match at School’s Out. He was able to withstand the onslaught of the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall in a No Holds Barred Match at The Great Angle Bash. He managed to escape the steel cage when pitted in a Steel Cage Match against Vitamin X with a biased referee in Thomas Rodriguez last month in Central Park at the Big Apple Spectacular, thereby ending Vitamin X’s WRESTLING career! But this right here is certainly, without a shadow of a doubt, Tha Puerto Rican’s toughest challenge to date! A Sixty Minute Iron Man Match against a man who he has had great difficulty defeating in the past in Brickston! Brickston grabs PRL and takes him into the ropes. Brickston shoves P.R. into the opposite ropes. P.R. comes back with a shoulderblock! But Brickston doesn’t fall! Brickston has an evil grin on his face as he dares P.R. to try it again! So, Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes, ducks Brickston’s clothesline, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and charges forward, leaping up and nailing Brickston with a flying clothesline! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! PRL immediately gets up and rushes backwards into the ropes. PR bounces off of the ropes with another flying clothesline, knocking Brickston down! P.R. goes for the cover, hooking Brickston’s right leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! P.R. is slightly agitated, but marches on, heading backwards into the ropes again. PRL bounces off of the ropes, and then rolls Brickston up! 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Brickston rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom rope, causing the fans to boo loudly. JESSE He’s taking a breather! COLE He’s killing time, that’s what he’s doing! He’s killing time so that he doesn’t have to try and beat Tha Puerto Rican too much! JESSE And you got all of that just by Brickston leaving the ring!? You overanalyze things way too much, Michael Cole! Do you know that!? Brickston walks up the aisle catching his breath. Vitamin X goes over to check on him. The crowd boos loudly. PRL tries to exit the ring, but is held back by Earl Hebner. “BRICK-STON SUCKS!” “BRICK-STON SUCKS!” “BRICK-STON SUCKS!” “BRICK-STON SUCKS!” COLE Doesn’t feel good to have over 68,000 people tell you that you suck. JESSE Brickston stopped giving a damn about what these fans think of him a long time ago, and look where it’s got him! Brickston and Vitamin X discuss strategy on the aisle. COLE As much as I hate to admit it, I think it may be a smart move for Brickston, after three near falls, to break the momentum, and give Tha Puerto Rican a little time to think. JESSE Yeah, I don’t think that Brickston was expecting that from Tha Puerto Rican. But you can win this match early! I mean, if you can pile up, if you can pile up four or maybe five quick victories early on, then in the middle part of that match, if things just get sort of even, you can hang on until the end and win this thing, and I think that’s just what Tha Puerto Rican has in mind. COLE I wish I could commentate with you all of the time! Brickston remains on the outside talking to Vitamin X as the clock continues winding down. There is now 55:12 left in the match. Earl Hebner starts his 10 count. Brickston high fives Vitamin X, and then walks down the aisle and around the ringside area. COLE Obviously, the man who gets the advantage can use the clock to *his* advantage, much like a tag team partner. “FOUR!” “FIVE!” Brickston climbs up the ring steps. “SIX!” Tha Puerto Rican remains in the ring, bent over, ready to attack. “SEVEN!” “EIGHT!” Brickston stands on the ring apron. “NINE!” Brickston enters the ring. COLE Brickston took full advantage of that 10 count. JESSE Smart wrestling, especially in this match-up. Vitamin X returns to the ringside area. Brickston and PRL circle each other. With 54:39 remaining, they lock up. Brickston applies a headlock on Tha Puerto Rican. VITAMIN X THAT’S IT! Brickston cinches the hold tight on The Great One! Earl Hebner checks on PRL. PRL swats the referee away, and then shoves Brickston into the ropes! Brickston bounces off of the ropes, and then hits PRL with a shoulderblock! Brickston then rushes forward into the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, jumps over Tha Puerto Rican, bounces off of the opposite ropes, Tha Puerto Rican does a leapfrog over Brickston, Brickston bounces off of the opposite ropes, PRL does a reverse leapfrog over Brickston, Brickston bounces off of the ropes, right into a Rock-style punch to the temple from Tha Puerto Rican! Brickston stumbles, right into another Rock-style punch to the temple from Tha Puerto Rican! Brickston staggers, so Tha Puerto Rican KISSES THAT LEFT~! and then nails Brickston with a third Rock-style punch to the temple! Brickston falls to the mat! The crowd cheers! Brickston rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope again! COLE Tha Puerto Rican laying the smackdown on Brickston! JESSE He can’t get too cocky now! We’ve still got a long way to go in this match! Brickston falls down onto his hands and knees in the aisle! Vitamin X goes to check on him. PRL goes to exit the ring, but once again, Earl Hebner holds him back. COLE Brickston may have a busted lip or swallowed some teeth on that one! Huge left hand by Tha Puerto Rican! Earl Hebner starts his 10 count. Vitamin X massages Brickston’s shoulders and offers words of encouragement for his client. JESSE See, on a shot like that, now it is very smart to get out of the ring. You can’t get pin out there. Earl Hebner is up to 4! Brickston looks up at the clock and sees that there is 53:58 remaining in the match. Brickston stands up and tells Vitamin X that he’s got this match. Brickston climbs up the ring steps, stands on the ring apron, and then enters the ring at the count of 7. Brickston flicks his wrists while PRL just stares at his opponent. BRICKSTON SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE PUNK! Brickston yells at a small child. This causes the fans around the small child to start booing Brickston, and soon, the entire Alamodome is booing the former OAOAST Italian Champion. “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” Brickston yells at the fans on another side of the Alamodome. JESSE You can’t let them get to you, Brickston! Remember, win or lose, this match is going an hour! Drown them out now, or you will never get a fall! COLE The Lightning Bolts have completely taken over the Alamodome, and they are making their voices heard! Brickston steps out of the ring to yell at some fans in the front row. JESSE They’re getting to him! They’re getting to him, Cole! COLE Brickston should be used to this by now, but apparently it still irks him to hear boos directed towards him and NOT Tha Puerto Rican! JESSE After AngleSlam, when Brickston holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, these fans will come back to him! Just you wait! Brickston enters the ring, and then motions for PRL to fight him. The two men lock up. Tha Puerto Rican quickly applies another headlock on Brickston! PRL cinches the hold tight! Earl Hebner checks on Brickston. Vitamin X yells out, “COME ON BRICKSTON!” Brickston grabs P.R. by the knot on the back his Puerto Rican flag bandana, and then walks with him towards the ropes. Brickston shoves PRL right into the opposite ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Brickston, rushes forward, bounces off of the opposite ropes, Brickston leapfrogs over PRL--NO! PRL stops in his tracks and nails Brickston with a punch! And another! And another! And another! And another! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican was prepared for Brickston that time! PR lifts Brickston up, and gives him an atomic drop! As Brickston clutches his nads, Tha Puerto Rican fires with a standing dropkick that knocks Brickston down! PRL picks Brickston up by his hair and then runs with him, slamming Brickston’s face right into a top turnbuckle pad! Brickston is dazed, so PRL grabs Brickston by his hair again, and then runs with him towards another turnbuckle, slamming Brickston’s face right into that top turnbuckle pad! PRL then whips Brickston into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Brickston hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD, and has no time to prepare for Tha Puerto Rican sailing across the ring and squashing him with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splash! Shades of the legendary Sting! JESSE Yeah, I think that’s obvious by the name! THA PUERTO RICAN OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! “OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” PRL whips Brickston into the turnbuckle corner that they were originally at. PRL follows Brickston a second later. Brickston hits the turnbuckle. PR charges…right into a back elbow from Brickston! P.R. staggers out of the turnbuckle corner. He turns around, and gets hit with a clothesline (though not a MASSIVE one) from Brickston! COLE Brickston back in control with that clothesline! VITAMIN X THAT’S RIGHT! YEAH! YOU GOT HIM! YOU GOT HIM NOW! Both Brickston and PRL lie on the mat, breathing hard. JESSE I think Tha Puerto Rican was thinking P.R. Nightmare, but Brickston had other ideas! Brickston is the first to get up, albeit slowly. He grabs PRL’s left arm and starts kicking it repeatedly! Brickston then picks PRL up by his left arm, and then twists it with an arm-wringer. COLE Brickston targeting Tha Puerto Rican’s left arm. If he takes out one arm, it will be very difficult for Tha Puerto Rican to give Brickston the P.R. Nightmare! JESSE Very good, Cole. You get a cookie. COLE Cool! Cookies rule! Brickston continues applying an arm-wringer on PR. Brickston tugs at PRL’s left arm, dropping him down to his knees! Brickston hits Tha Puerto Rican’s left arm with the point of his right elbow! He does it again and again! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican. Brickston picks Tha Puerto Rican up, only to tug on his left arm again, dropping him back down to his right knee! Brickston grabs PRL by his head and then slams his face right into a top turnbuckle pad! 51:59 remains as Brickston grabs PR’s left arm and slams it over the top ring rope! PRL lets out a scream! Brickston then hammers on PRL in the turnbuckle corner. COLE Almost 10 minutes gone by and still no fall from either man! Brickston once again grabs PR’s left arm and slams it over the top ring rope! The crowd has quieted down as they watch Brickston pick apart The People’s Champion, Vitamin X being the only person cheering Brickston on. Brickston takes PRL out of the turnbuckle corner. Brickston punches PRL in the face and that’s all it takes to knock PRL down to the mat! VITAMIN X THAT’S IT! STAY ON HIM! STAY ON HIM! Brickston grabs PRL’s left arm and applies move #193 on it (arm-BAR)! Earl Hebner checks on PRL. Brickston pulls on the left arm, with the camera showing Tha Puerto Rican wincing in pain. Brickston pulls back on the arm! EARL HEBNER WHAT DO YOU SAY, P.R.? DO YOU GIVE UP!? THA PUERTO RICAN NO! COLE Brickston, a master of submission holds, using an arm-bar on Tha Puerto Rican, targeting an arm so as to eliminate the P.R. Nightmare from this match-up! JESSE That’s smart wrestling, Michael Cole. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. Tha Puerto Rican stands up, still in the arm-bar. Brickston continues torquing the elbow. The crowd begins clapping in unison to get Tha Puerto Rican back into the match! PRL finds the strength through the Lightning Bolts to hit Brickston in the face with a Rock-style punch to the temple! He then does it again! And again! And again! And again, breaking the arm-bar! PRL grabs Brickston by *his* left arm, and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Brickston bounces off of the ropes, P.R. puts his head down, so Brickston grabs PRL’s left arm and gives him a Single-Armed DDT! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Brickston with the Single-Armed DDT, also known as Divorce Court! PRL clutches his left arm in pain! Brickston covers Tha Puerto Rican, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And a kickout! A kickout at 2.9999999 seconds! JESSE Close! The pace is picking up here! VITAMIN X THAT’S OKAY! YOU HAD HIM! YOU ALMOST HAD HIM! KEEP GOING! YOU GOT 50 MINUTES LEFT! YOU STILL GOT TIME! Brickston argues with the referee, but only for a few seconds. He then grabs PRL by his left arm and applies another arm-bar on it. Once more, Earl Hebner checks on PRL as he winces in pain on the mat! 50:26 remain left on the clock as Brickston continues applying the arm-bar on PRL’s left arm! 50:00 As we hit the 10 minute mark, Tha Puerto Rican is on his right knee, still trapped in the arm-bar. PRL stands up, still trapped in the arm-bar. Earl Hebner asks PR if he gives up, but PRL responds by grabbing Brickston by his hair and taking him into a turnbuckle corner. COLE PRL, back to his feet, takes some of the pressure off of the arm! PRL tries to escape the arm-bar, but Brickston refuses to let go. Finally, Earl Hebner demands that Brickston let go of the arm-bar at the count of 5. Brickston lets go at 4. Earl Hebner gets in between P.R. and Brickston…just as P.R. nails Brickston with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! P.R. lays the smackdown on Brickston, which has Vitamin X going nuts on the outside! The crowd comes back to life! PRL continues beating on Brickston, and then grabs Brickston by his left hand and whips him into the opposite ropes. Brickston bounces off of the ropes, PRL puts his head down, so Brickston stops in his tracks and kicks PRL in the face! PRL staggers around the ring. Brickston rushes backwards into the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks the clothesline, turns around… KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Brickston! The crowd goes wild! Vitamin X is freaking out on the outside! Tha Puerto Rican covers Brickston, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:48) *BZZZZZZZZZT* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” JESSE No! COLE Tha Puerto Rican did it! Tha Puerto Rican got the first fall! BUFFER The winner of the fall…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Score Brickston: 0 Tha Puerto Rican: 1 Time remaining: 49:05 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston both lie on the mat. PRL is on his knees a few seconds later. Brickston rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. COLE So, Tha Puerto Rican is up 1-0 with less than 50 minutes left in this Iron Man Match! 48:54 to go in this match-up! PRL wings out his own left arm on the mat. The current OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion exits the ring and goes to Brickston, who is lying on the protective mats. JESSE It’s true, Tha Puerto Rican has the lead. But he he’s now on the defensive. He can go the next 50 minutes without a fall and STILL win the match! He must be careful. One slip up, and Brickston ties it up! Brickston is resting on the barricade, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs him by his hair and takes him to part of the barricade, where he slams Brickston’s face into it! Earl Hebner is telling PRL to get back into the ring, but PRL ignores him. COLE There is no rest period between falls. The clock is still running! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Brickston and slams his face into another part of the barricade! COLE Brickston is still out of it following that P.R. Nightmare! Tha Puerto Rican has him right where he wants him! JESSE I seriously doubt Brickston will be this way for the rest of the match, though! Vitamin X stays where he’s at and watches as P.R. grabs Brickston and walks with him up the aisle! PR knees Brickston in the stomach as he walks with him, however, Brickston fights back with some knees to the stomach of Tha Puerto Rican! Brickston punches Tha Puerto Rican in the stomach repeatedly! Brickston then starts punching Puerto in the face repeatedly! Brickston is now in control as Tha Puerto Rican staggers towards the saloon doors. COLE Apparently, Earl Hebner isn’t going to utilize his 10 count! He’s gonna let these two men go at it all over the Alamodome! JESSE And that’s the way it should be in a World Heavyweight Championship Match on a big time pay-per-view! Counouts are for the bush leaguers! With 68,000-plus looking on, Brickston grabs PRL by his left hand and whips him into the barricade--NO!--PRL reverses, and it is Brickston who goes slamming into the barricade stomach first! Brickston collapses onto the aisle, using the barricade to keep himself from falling onto his ass! PRL takes a moment to catch his breath. Earl Hebner tells PRL to go back to the ring. This time, Tha Puerto Rican listens to the referee and grabs Brickston, who is now breathing hard, and takes him back to ringside, taunting him the whole way there. COLE The Lightning Bolts have remained hectic the whole match! They are showing their love for Tha Puerto Rican the whole 60 minutes! 47:23 remain in the Iron Man Match. PRL grabs Brickston by his head and slams him onto the top of the barricade. HOWEVER, Brickston won’t budge! PRL tries to slam Brickston’s head onto the top of the barricade again. Brickston still won’t budge. PRL tries to slam Brickston’s head onto the top of the barricade one more time, but Brickston reverses and slams PRL’s head onto the top of the barricade! PRL clutches his face and falls to his knees. Vitamin X applauds Brickston while Brickston catches his breath. COLE Tha Puerto Rican got his face slammed onto the barricade! JESSE Brickston wants to make Tha Puerto Rican as ugly as he is! Don’t tell him that I said that. COLE I’ll try to resist the temptation. Earl Hebner checks on PRL and Brickston. Vitamin X yells words of encouragement for Brickston. Brickston grabs P.R. and slams his face onto the top of the barricade again! He then starts hammering away at PRL’s face while Earl Hebner again orders for the two men to return to the ring! COLE Brickston hammering away at Tha Puerto Rican! JESSE He is letting four years of HATRED come out in this match, Michael Cole! COLE Brickston is just beating the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican! He’s might be trying to beat Tha Puerto Rican up enough on the outside to the point where the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion can’t reenter the ring! Brickston stops hammering at Tha Puerto Rican’s face and takes a step back. He then charges forward and jumps up, going for a knee to the face…PRL moves out of the way, and Brickston’s right knee hits the top of the barricade! Brickston falls to the floor and holds his right knee in pain as PRL paces back and forth right in front of him! COLE Brickston taking a big chance there, and it backfired on him! PRL goes to pick up Brickston, but gets punched in the stomach! COLE But Brickston returns the favour with that punch to the gut of Tha Puerto Rican! JESSE Brickston is a thinking man’s wrestler! He always has a backup plan! COLE It seems like he just saw PRL come towards him and punched him in the stomach, Jess. JESSE I know! THAT was his backup plan! COLE Right. PRL stands near the ring hunched over. Brickston gets up and walks with a limp towards Tha Puerto Rican. Brickston throws PRL back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. He takes a moment to catch his breath, and then climbs onto the ring apron, where Tha Puerto Rican proceeds to punch Brickston in the face, knocking him down! COLE Tha Puerto Rican back in control! Brickston rolls back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL hits him with several shaky leg kicks and then drags him away from the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican nails Brickston with a fist drop! He then nails Brickston with another fist drop! PR nails Brickston with a third fist drop! PR hits Brickston with several more fist drops! He then bounces off of the ropes, stops in his tracks, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops another fist onto Brickston’s head! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle from Tha Puerto Rican! JESSE Out of all the moves to rip off, he rips off THAT one!? Why!? PRL quickly covers Brickston! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE Brickston able to kick out at the 46 minute mark! Time continues ticking away as Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston both lie on the mat. PRL gets up and stomps on Brickston with his shaky leg kicks! Brickston is struggling to get up. PRL exits the ring and grabs Brickston’s legs and drags him so that he legs wrap around a ring post! PRL taunts Brickston as he grabs Brickston’s right leg and pulls back on it. BRICKSTON NO! NO! Tha Puerto Rican slams Brickston’s right leg against the ring post! Brickston screams! Vitamin X cringes watching this! JESSE PRL is fighting dirty! I thought he changed!? COLE PRL is doing everything he can to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, Jess! And if that means resorting to his old tricks, so be it! JESSE It’s just like you to defend your favourites, Michael Cole! And it makes me sick! COLE PRL stops to “smell the electricity”! He then mutters, “I’m not done yet!” and then grabs Brickston’s right leg again and pulls back on it. JESSE He’s doing it again, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican slams Brickston’s right leg against the ring post again! Brickston screams and nearly falls out of the ring, if not for the fact that his right leg is wrapped around the ring post! Brickston’s whole body eventually falls to the outside! COLE PRL really targeting that right leg! If he takes out a leg, he takes out the Killswitch! JESSE But NOT the Anklelock, Cole! He uses his hands for that! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Brickston and throws him back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. He then grabs Brickston’s right leg…and then slams it onto the ring! Brickston limps out of the ring, clutching his right knee! Brickston rests on some ring steps. PRL takes advantage of this, grabbing Brickston and lifting him up, slamming his right knee onto the top ring step! COLE Did you hear the knee smack against the STEEL step!? JESSE Yeah, I heard it. I heard it. Brickston felt it! Brickston collapses onto the floor! Vitamin X tries not to show worry, but is unable to hide it. COLE Tha Puerto Rican at one time was just a kid with a dream. And now that dream has come true for him in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! He is the World Heavyweight Champion, and he is in control of his challenger 15 minutes into this 60-Minute Iron Man Match! Earl Hebner checks on Brickston. Brickston shoves the referee away. He then rolls back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL soon follows suit. Brickston drags himself backwards inside of the ring with Vitamin X on the outside screaming for Brickston to fight back! PRL stalks his one time protégé. Brickston calls for a timeout, but Tha Puerto Rican will have none of that as he follows Brickston into a turnbuckle corner and grabs both of his legs. Puerto then lifts Brickston up off of the mat while Brickston holds onto the top ring rope, and then pulls him a few inches away from the turnbuckle, causing Brickston to lose his grip on the top ring rope and fall back-first onto the mat, HARD! COLE Oh my! Brickston with a short trip, bad landing! Tha Puerto Rican gave Brickston a London Bridge right there! JESSE Don’t you dare start singing “London Bridge Is Falling Down” or prepare to meet my fist, Michael Cole! COLE Duly noted. PR sees Brickston lying on the mat, and responds to this by attacking Brickston’s right knee with some shaky leg kicks! Puerto then grabs Brickston’s right leg and then shaky leg kicks the knee! PRL stands back and lets Brickston get up. Brickston walks with a limp in the ring, holding his right knee. Tha Puerto Rican kicks his leg out from under his leg! (R.I.P. Owen Hart) Brickston gets up, so PRL kicks Brickston’s right leg from right under him again! Earl Hebner checks on Brickston. PRL cracks a half-smile as he walks towards Brickston. He picks Brickston up by his hair and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Brickston reverses, PRL bounces off of the ropes, flying clothesline knocks Brickston down onto the mat! PR sneers at Brickston, and then stands up. He grabs Brickston by his right leg and drags him towards the center of the ring. Once there, PR spins around the leg, grabs the left leg, falls down onto the mat, and then locks in the Figure Four Leglock on Brickston! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JESSE He’s stealing from another wrestling legend now! Look! COLE Tha Puerto Rican with a Figure Four Leglock on Brickston! When was the last time we saw THAT from him!? JESSE He’s got Brickston in the center of the ring, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican screams for Brickston to tap out to the Figure Four Leglock! Earl Hebner checks to see if Brickston gives up. Vitamin X is panicking on the outside! COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s got that Figure Four Leglock in the middle of the ring! Brickston has nowhere to go! JESSE He’ll find a way, Cole! Brickston always has a backup plan! The referee asks Brickston if he gives up. Brickston shouts out, “NOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL is lying on the mat, cinching the Figure Four Leglock tight! VITAMIN X DON’T TAP OUT! DO NOT TAP OUT! COLE Vitamin X screaming for Brickston not to give up! If he does, he will be down by 2 with 43 minutes remaining in this match-up! JESSE That might sound long, but in this match, he can’t risk it! Earl Hebner is ready to call for the bell, but Brickston yells at him not to. Vitamin X shakes his head no as he watches Brickston scream out in pain! Brickston is on his back on the mat, writhing in pain! Brickston sits back up to prevent a pinfall, but is in so much pain that he goes back down to the mat. He sits back up just seconds later, but then goes back down again. Brickston keeps sitting up and sitting back down again while trapped in the deadly submission manuever! JESSE He can NOT go down 2-nothing, Cole! It will be over! “TAP!” “TAP!” “TAP!” “TAP!” Brickston is trying very hard to fight through the pain! Earl Hebner keeps saying that he will ring the bell, but Brickston yells at him not to. COLE Brickston, what is he going to do here!? Tha Puerto Rican’s got the Figure Four Leglock locked in! The longer Brickston stays in this, the more damage it’s doing to his legs! Brickston is getting weakened thanks to the Figure Four Leglock. His eyes are getting heavy. Brickston is lying on the mat. With his shoulders down on the mat, Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... 3 BRICKSTON SITS UP!!! COLE No! Brickston won’t give in! JESSE Because he has the heart of a champion, Cole! Brickston is the uncrowned OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion as far as I am concerned! COLE Let’s not go that far, Jess! JESSE I can, and I will! Brickston grits his teeth and tries to fight through the pain! COLE The pain is so excruciating, Brickston wasn’t even aware of his shoulders being down! Earl Hebner again asks Brickston if he gives up. Brickston sneers at the referee and shakes his head “NO!” Vitamin X is pacing back and forth on the outside, worried for his client. PRL yells for Brickston to “GIVE UP!” BRICKSTON NO! Brickston falls back onto the mat and struggles to reach the ropes. He sits up again, clearly in tremendous pain! Brickston punches PRL’s legs, desperately trying to break the hold! But the punches have no effect, and Brickston’s shoulders are down on the mat again! 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE How ironic is this? The submissions master trapped in a submission move! JESSE Brickston has an ace in the hole! I know that he does! He’s gonna pull it out! I just know he will! EARL HEBNER DO YOU GIVE UP!? BRICKSTON NO! NO! PRL cinches the hold tighter on the mat! Brickston is in serious pain! THA PUERTO RICAN GIVE UP! BRICKSTON SCREW YOU! Brickston tries to turn to his side! The crowd boos. Brickston turns to his side! He struggles to turn completely over! JESSE Brickston trying to reverse the Figure Four Leglock here! As Brickston turns, PRL starts feeling pain! Vitamin X is freaking out on the outside, biting his nails! X watches as Brickston uses all of the strength that he’s got left to turn around completely. Both PR and Brickston are on their sides! COLE If Tha Puerto Rican goes on his stomach, advantage: Brickston! JESSE PUSH! Brickston struggles to make the turn…but falls back down onto the mat! Brickston lies there. 1... 2... 3--BRICKSTON SITS UP!!! COLE ANOTHER near fall! That’s THREE of them from this Figure Four Leglock! Brickston fights through the pain and manages to turn to his side again! Brickston continues turning! He turns…and turns…and turns…Brickston lets out a mighty roar…Vitamin X watches with baited breath…the crowd starts booing…Brickston turns onto his stomach, reversing the Figure Four Leglock! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JESSE HE’S GOT HIM! VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! YEAH! COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican, Tha Puerto Rican is being punished by the Figure Four Leglock! Tha Puerto Rican screams out in pain, trapped in the reverse Figure Four Leglock! Brickston screams for PRL to quit, while Vitamin X watches from the outside with an evil smile on his face! Earl Hebner asks PRL if he gives up, but PRL refuses to quit! COLE You can see the pain etched on the World Heavyweight Champion’s face! JESSE He ain’t got nowhere to go, Michael Cole! Brickston’s gonna tie it up! PRL shakes his head “NO!” The fans are going nuts, rooting PRL on! VITAMIN X GIVE UP, P.R.! GIVE UP! EARL HEBNER WHAT DO YOU SAY!? THA PUERTO RICAN N-O! NO! Tha Puerto Rican tries to reach the ropes, but can’t! He moves only an inch, but can’t move no more! PRL screams out in pain! COLE The pressure and the pain has reversed to Tha Puerto Rican! PRL grits his teeth, screams…and then pushes himself a few inches, breaking the reverse Figure Four Leglock! COLE He broke it! PRL has broken the reverse Figure Four Leglock! JESSE I don’t believe it, Michael Cole! How did he do it!? COLE I don’t know, Jess, but the important thing is that he did it! Both PRL and Brickston lie on the mat on their stomachs, breathing hard. Earl Hebner checks on both men. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE And what toll did the Figure Four Leglock have on both of these magnificent competitors? JESSE I think it was worst on Brickston than it was Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican crawls a bit in the ring and then rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Brickston rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope a few seconds later. The crowd has quieted down. Vitamin X looks on. PRL lands on his feet, while Brickston is on his hands and knees. So, P.R. grabs Brickston and slams his face onto the top of the announce table! COLE Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t seem to be limping, and Brickston is having a hard time standing! Brickston stumbles, and then collapses onto the protective mats! PRL taunts Brickston, and then picks him up. Earl Hebner heads to the outside to order both men to return to the ring. 41:36 remain in the match as Tha Puerto Rican slams Brickston’s face into the ring! Brickston stumbles, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs Brickston and whips him into the barricade--NO!--Brickston reverses, PRL hits the barricade back-first HARD! PR staggers forward, right into a clothesline from Brickston on the outside! VITAMIN X YEAH! COLE Brickston reverses the ride, and oh my, what a shot that was by Brickston! Vitamin X applauds Brickston. PRL lies on the ground breathing hard! He clutches his neck. Brickston rests on the barricade. EARL HEBNER Brickston, get back into the ring! Brickston is limping as he gets closer to Tha Puerto Rican. P.R. starts to get up, so Brickston helps him get to his feet…and then throws him over the barricade and into the crowd! 41:01 remain as Brickston slowly limps over the barricade and joins PRL in the crowd. COLE Just over 40 minutes to go, with Tha Puerto Rican up one fall to nothing! Brickston punches PRL in the face! He then does it again! Vitamin X looks on, while Earl Hebner hops over the barricade to join Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston. COLE I don’t know how smart this is! JESSE Me either. COLE I thought Brickston was going to buy himself some time, but showing the tenacity of Brickston, he’s right back up in Tha Puerto Rican’s face in this sea of humanity! Fans try their best to mug for the camera as the cameraman catches up with Tha Puerto Rican, Brickston and Earl Hebner in the crowd! JESSE Get out of the way you goofs! Brickston is beating on Tha Puerto Rican in the crowd! But suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican fights back with Rock-style punches to the temple! Brickston tries to run away, but PRL follows him! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston having one hell of a fist fight admist the 68,000-plus fans here in the Alamodome! PRL punches Brickston in his back as he tries to walk away! Brickston turns around and fights back, and the two men are trading blows in the crowd! JESSE This is a fight! This is a brawl! Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston are on the ground duking it out while fans crowd around them! PRL gets up first and picks Brickston up. He throws Brickston into the barricade. PRL charges forward, and Brickston gives him a BAAAACK Body Drop over the barricade and onto the protective mats! COLE This four year rivalry between Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston is coming to a head tonight here at AngleSlam! JESSE This is the match that will decide once and for all who’s better: Tha Puerto Rican or Brickston! PRL lies on the ground, writhing in pain. Brickston rests on the barricade, breathing hard. He takes a deep breath, and then climbs over the barricade into the ringside area. He rests on his hands and knees. JESSE Get in there, ref! VITAMIN X COME ON, MAN! GET UP! Brickston picks Tha Puerto Rican up. COLE I think Brickston got the better of the exchange on the outside. Earl Hebner orders Brickston and PRL to get back into the ring. Brickston obliges, throwing PRL back into the ring. Brickston then enters the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. 40:00 40:00 remain as Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston return to the ring.

COLE And here we go with one-half of our double main event this evening. COACH No, no, no, no. This IS our main event. COLE In any event, it's one of our feature bouts. Right now, let's head up to the ring and Michael Buffer. Standing in the center of ring is Michael Buffer with a blue spotlight shinning down on him as the only illumination in an otherwise darkened arena. The roar of the crowd is gigantic and the legendary announcer is forced to strain his voice to be heard. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our main event of Angleslam 2008! There's a huge pop from the audience who foist up their pro-In Crowd anti-Enterprise signage. BUFFER It is a three on two handicap match made in Corporate Greed scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Let's meet the trouble shooting special guest referee as appointed by Josie Baker! The cameras roam towards the entrance where blue and purple lights beam from the edges of the sherrif's badge. "Simply Ravishing" kicks up to a huge ovation from the Texas faithful. Welcoming their cheers with raised hands as he steps through the saloon doors is Tony Brannigan, outfitted in the usual attire of a referee. The former world champion pauses with hands on hips to gaze out at the sea of fans as the blue and purple lights continue to swirl around him at a slow deliberate pace. BUFFER He is a three time tag team champion, a former world champion, a true OAOAST Original, he is one half of the one of the greatest tag teams of all time Black T, ladies and gentlemen please welcome to Alamo Dome....TONY BRANNIGAN! Tony smirks and nods to the fans, who are all but on their knees worshipping the OAOAST legend. He walks down the entrance ramp with a slow step taking in his moment in the spotlight for all its worth and soaking in the every cheer of the San Antonio audience. As he trots up the stairs he remains ever confident, showing no signs of intimidation from this high profile role. COLE Its hard to have to bring this up about a guy like Tony Brannigan. But can he be trusted? He is Theodore Moneymaker's cousin and even though they've had their problems in the past, blood runs thick, and so does the cash Moneymaker shoved into Brannigan's pocket this past HeldDOWN~! We like to think our champions and our legends have integrity but with stakes this high, I just don't know. COACH Yo, I don't think Josie picked T.Bod out of all the OAOAST superstars past and present if he wasn't gonna look out for her boy. The money Mister Moneymaker slipped in his pocket is just gravy, baby. A brilliant green glow engulfs the entrance stage, making it look like some sort of sci-fi wild west themed jungle overran by unseen but malvolent plant life. With this fantastic showing of colour comes the detested theme song, and the flood of boos for the men it heralds. Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith Saloon doors swing open, and with that comes a tremendous increase in the hatred of the audience. Yet, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, dancing with the Koran close to his chest, is immune to such anger with his broad and loving smile serving as his shield. Behind him comes Christian Wright, grinning from ear to ear, attired in a blue blazer, black tie and blue slacks. He holds his arms out to his side and grins even wider in self satisfaction as Abdullah now performs his joyful dance around him as though he were some holy statue. At their side is their leader. Theodore Moneymaker, expression one of arrogance, his hair slightly unkempt, his body shining as it pours into red tights with dollar signs on the side. Hooked on his arm is a smug faced Mackenize DeCenzo, looking as ravishing as Brannigan's entrance music with a black halter evening dress with wood beans draped around the bust. BUFFER Introducing the competitors being accompanied to the ring by the Money Honey Mackenzie DeCenzo! First he weighed in at one hundred eighty seven pounds, and stands five feet eight inches, he is "The Speaker for the Prophets" and an "Inspirational Leader" to man. He is from Las Vegas by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, by way of Damascus Syria, representing The Heavenly Rockers he is ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY! And his partner weighing 8 1/3 bars of gold, now residing in Washington D.C., he is the Enterprise's Financial Analyst, CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! And finally from Vero Beach, Florida, this man needs no real introduction he is the CEO of The Enterprise, the second largest investor in TSM, the heir to Moneymaker fortune, he is THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Three green and red pryo explosions rip through the air from the top tips of the gigantic sherrif's badge, each bringing equally booming laughter from the throat of Moneymaker. As they walk down the aisle trailed by a train of boos, Christian removes his tie and jacket and arrogantly tosses them to the floor. Abdullah makes quite the show of himself, both singing high praises for his partners and dancing with celebratory glee. COLE The Enterprise is deadly. Their 2008 has seen them change Jade's life by revealing that she's Krista's daughter, get Anglesault fired, Josie hired, break up Rescue 911, and finally have Bohemoth arrested for rape! COACH Dudes is cold, a week in the Saraha couldn't melt them. They frost bitten, touch your hand a finger gonna fall right off. But, let me get this out right quick, props to Mackenzie for having the strength and courage to stand out here today. She's a survivor! She ain't gonna give up. Mackenzie takes position on the outside turning up her nose at the fans to offer her total attention to applauding her troops that enter the ring. Abdullah plays ambassador to Tony Brannigan and offers him words of prayer and blessings. Moneymaker, however, strangley ignores his cousin. Instead he practices his boxing, by punching Wright''s open hands and getting boastful words of encouragement from his best friend. They then share a hearty laugh and a hug, a sign of certain confidence in this pivotal bout. After so long an absence, the famous drum beat returns to OAOAST television, and brings it with it the deafaning screams of sixty thousand fans. Being so excited that they're barely able to maintain sanity, the fans joyously clap along to Weezer's Beverly Hills. They nearly scream themselves hoarse at the sight of Leon Rodez, clad in an In Crowd varsity jacket as opposed to his usual robe. Mimicking his image on the video screens, The New Age Love Machine does a qucik 360 twirl. He drops to his knees, and with a huge smile taking over his face points to the saloon doors. Right on cue, Zack Malibu, emerges to another stunning roar. He lacks all of Rodez delight and happiness, glaring at Moneymaker and crew through the beautiful droplets of his golden pyro fall, his hatred sizzling as hot and as brightly as that fireworks display. He tosses his varsity jacket to the floor and motions for Leon to follow him down the ramp. BUFFER And their opponents,, Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and Providence, Rhode Island respectively...they weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, twenty eight pounds. They are former OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ... ZACK MALIBU... THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!! COLE The Usual Suspects back in action! Don't let The Enterprise's stunt on the House of Worship on HeldDOWN~! fool you, these men are as tight as brothers. Leon has had Zack's back for years and vice versa. COACH Is that right? I only remember Zack helping out Leon once when Jade turned on him. He didn't do shit to help him through the Money In The Bank tournament. He never did nothing back when Brickston was messing him up. But when The Franchise so much as gots a hang nail he expects The Silky Smooth one to be right there with the tweezers and the bandaid. Don't get it twisted Zack is a user. Even with men who want to wipe him off the face of the OAOAST staring him down, even with Reject's cautionary words still fresh on his mind, Leon is as gregeraious and good natured as ever. He slaps hands with the fans, and of course gives much love to his female admirers with pecks on the cheek. Zack is the perfect example of stone faced determination, not even reacting when his white pyro pillars explode into a tower that nearly reaches up to the ceiling. Amidst all the cheering and chanting of he and Leon's names, he looks dead into the camera and says "This one is for you, Bo." COLE Leon Rodez is very famillar with The Enterprise and what they're capable of. Christian Wright and Zack Malibu have met once before for the HI-YAH world title at Zero Hour, he has many experiences both good and bad with Tony Brannigan, but has never in his life faced Theodore Moneymaker. Zack needs to beware, because Moneymaker is a damn dangerous competitor, and an evil son of a bitch! Entering the ring, Malibu hardly knows which man he wishes to attack first. Abdullah for ruining his classic match with Nathaniel Black, Christian Wright for his snobbish arrogance, or Theodore Moneymaker who has orchestrated this entire stable warfare. Thankfully he has the much more level headed Rodez to keep him from doing something he and his pocket book will regret. "USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS!", the audience pays loud respects to the former tag team champions. The camera pans across the outside area to show an unusual amount of security guards, headed up by The Enterprise's Detective Bosley and CPA. V.I.C.E's guards are heavily muscled men, thick arms folded across even thicker chest, all clad in black and wearing the same stern expression. COLE Tony Brannigan is here to keep order, but Josie may not have as much faith in him as he thought with guys like that around. I'm not sure how impartial these guys will be if they're led by V.I.C.E, however. The last thing we need is them ruining this classic contest. COACH One of the In Crowd is a woman hating disgusting rapist, another has left his jizz in every crackwhore in America, one is a crackwhore, and the leader pulled on a gun on a dude once! And you're harping on V.I.C.E? From across the ring Zack's chilly glare shoots bullets at Theodore Moneymaker, and his mouth utters threats of violence to come. Any other man would be looking for the quickest way out of town, but Moneymaker welcomes the hatred and bile, and hollers at the OAOAST legend to put actions behind his words. Its unlikely Zack can hear over the roar of an audience that's still on their feet, but Moneymaker's defiant expression gets the message across clearer than any words ever could. COLE The atmosphere inside the Alamo dome is like nothing I've ever seen before. Folks, I wish you here with us for this one, its something else! DING DING DING With the ringing of the bell the fans launch another huge ovation into the air as the two stable leaders come face to face in the ring for the first time. Malibu stands tall and proud, his brown eyes never once blinking. Moneymaker isn't nearly as stoic, and makes a pouty face, arrogantly rubbing in all that he's done to disrupt the state of Malibu's beloved OAOAST. He gives Zack's cheek a light tap and snickers bellow the shocked reaction of the crowd. His laughing is cut violently short, though, when Zack cracks him across his handsome face with a slap! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE Oh boy! Here we go! Let's make history! Moneymaker is first in shock and then in anger. And its anger that throws a haymaker at Malibu. But The Franchise ducks beneath and quickly scurries behind his foe. As The Billion Dollar Heir turns around, he's tagged with a series of right hands that have the crowd shouting in delight. Moneymaker comes back with a right of his own, but Zack throws up his forearm to deflect the blow. The unexpected block has the billionaire teetering backwards. Its a position Malibu is quick to take advantage of when he launches his foot forward in a School's Out! But, Moneymaker reacts with lightening quickness and catches onto Zack's boot. He slams it back to the ground in a huff, and merely chuckles at the OAOAST poster boy's failure to execute his finisher. COACH Zack almost had the knockout right there! He can't be doin that to the second largest investor in TSM though. That ain't right. Imagine if at the world series or some shit, Manny Ramirez just chucked a ball at Rupert Murdoch's head. Don't make no sense! Zack fires off several more punches that come within inches of a bobbing and weaving Moneymaker. The Enterprise leader efforts a counter attack by trying to meet Zack punch for punch. But, Malibu is a hair faster and rips a knee into his six packed stomach. A cruel smile lights up Zack's face, as he begins lighting up Moneymaker's chest with furious knife edge chops. The audience hoots and hollers as Moneymaker's face sags in agony. Mackenzie realizes that Zack could chop her boss straight to his bone, and in order to end his attack, the fetching lass steps onto the ring apron. The distraction works to perfection; Zack pauses to demand her removal, and Moneymaker capitalizes by swatting him in the back of the head. "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" "SILENCE!" Christian screams from his perch on the apron. The wealthy Floridian latches onto Malibu's arm and attempts to Irish whip him towards the corner. However, Zack reverses the hold, and throws Moneymaker into the ringposts with such hellish force that the tycoon is lifted up and over the turnbuckles and thrown to the outside. His two hundred thirty plus pounds gracelessly crash to the outside and the response from the Texas audience as well as a shrieking Mackenzie is deafening. "MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!" sing the audience, as Mackie rushes to check on the man who signs her paychecks. Once she's assured his check signing hand isn't broken, her concern lessens just a little bit. COLE Zack is PO'ed! He just threw a man nearly twenty pounds heavier then him all the way out this ring. That's scary power from our Franchise! Equally scary is the enraged look that possess Zack's face as he leans over the ropes and orders Moneymaker to return to the fight. All Theodore can offer is miserable groans, so Mackenzie bickers with Zack for him. But Malibu quickly grows tired of dealing with her and prepares to leave the ring to fetch Moneymaker himself. However, he's halted by a clubbing forearm from Christian Wright! "BOOOOO!" "I do believe, I ordered silence!" Wright complains as he hammers Zack's back with open handed slaps. Having weakened his opponent enough with this attacks, The Natural guides him to the corner. He places him against the posts, and begins bashing his fist across Zack's face. As Wright's hands make mincemeat out of Zack's defined facial features, special referee Tony Brannigan warns strongly about closed fists but shocking allows the proud 2005 Rookie of the year to remain in despite there being no tag. CW adheres to the caution and ceases his illegal attacks, but only does so in order to push Zack lower to the ring. This allows him to put his Brooks Brother's dress shoes directly onto the head of the three time world champion. Zack screams in agony, which is but music to Wright's ears. "LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK!" the fans try to rally the ultimate good guy. "SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!" Wright demands, but only gets it when he quits using Zack's face as a welcome mat. He and Brannigan have several words in the middle of the ring about his tactics, an argument prolonged because T-Bod has no idea what anything Wright says means. This debate allows for sneaky play by Abdullah. He rushes to Zack's position, lifts him to his feet by his blond hair, and begins mercilessly clawing at his eyes! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE Come on! Abdullah claims to be a leader of men, but do you think you ever saw a leader of men like Martin Luther King tear at someone's eyes? COACH MLK once shot at Malcom X over a dice game. And Rosa Parks once fucked up JFK on some crack beef. True stories right there. By the time Brannigan notices the booing, Abdullah is back in his corner, offering his thanks to Allah, and Zack is back to his feet seeking offers for good optometrist. Wright marches over to him, and shreds at the skin on his chest with his trademark European uppercuts. Desperate to be free of these flesh searing strikes, Zack grips onto the ropes and guides his weak legs down the ring. But CW stalks his path and chips away at his strength with punches to his back. Zack, however, fights back against him with a boot to the stomach that shoves The Natural away. Greatly annoyed by the strike, Wright snarls and charges in and EATS A SCHOOL'S OUT! "YEAAAAAAA!" screams the audience, getting back to their feet! COLE Christian Wright, School is out, and you've been knocked out! Is that it for The Enterprise in this epic bout? The answer to that question is a resounding no, coming from a BILLON $ KNEELIFT from Theodore Moneymaker! "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" Not exactly appreciative of the unkind words, Moneymaker spits at the front row audience which simply works to increase the entire arena's furor. The CEO of The Enterprise then turns his anger upon Zack Malibu and smears his face with A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! While the fans boo his signature strike, Moneymaker goes for the first pinfall of the contest, his forearm pressed against the face of the Franchise. ONE! TWO! Zack gets his shoulder off the mat! COLE Zack isn't going to go down like that. Not this early in the contest. Not ever in fact. COACH Zack is facing a very different breed of superstar in The Enterprise. A smarter, more intelligent breed. And a richer one! Go on and get yo paper, dawgs! Moneymaker scrapes Zack off the canvas by the waistband of his blue tights. He shoves him into a neutral corner, and takes aim at his ribs, blasting them in an unrelenting assault. The Billion Dollar Heir then cuts short that attack in order to watch with a giddy pleasure as Zack hunches over and winces in pain. Moneymaker picks his head up and offers him a vicious slap across the cheek, returning the favor from earlier, sending a tiny amount of blood from the mouth of The Franchise. "You can't win this war, Zack!" Moneymaker shouts as much to Malibu as to his numerous fans. He grabs onto Zack's arm and pries him away from the ropes to throw him across the ring. But Zack somehow manages to counter and its the billionaire who suffers a brutal crash into the turnbuckles. But Moneymaker shakes off the bone crushing impact and comes darting at his rival with a back elbow. Malibu ducks beneath the rapidly approaching attack and lifts himself onto the second rope. Moneymaker regains his footing only to have his face breakout in fear, as Zack crashes into him with a cross body block! The fans applaud Zack's aerial expertise, and he nods to them as he hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall... ONE! Moneymaker kicks out well before the two, but has to take several moments to regain his breath. With his enemy incapacitated, Zack gets to his feet and heads to his corner where he applies the tag to The Grand Rapids Golden Child! The cheers and applause for Leon Rodez are raucous, especially from the female fans. Le-Ro keeps it cool, though, shrugging his shoulders in an obviously false humility. COLE When this version of the In Crowd got together we knew we'd see The Usual Suspects along with it, but who knew it would be on such a huge stage? Leon charges into the ring at his longtime rival. But Moneymaker charges him as well, and strikes viciously with a devastating running high knee! The shot folds and contorts Leon like origami, leaving him a wounded wreck in just his first few seconds in the match. COLE Leon Rodez, getting planted by Theodore Moneymaker! Moneymaker stands above Leon, his hands held to him, and his sneering face gazing at the crowd, as if to wonder how they can cheer for this man. They boo the former tag champ and their hatred increases ten fold when he drops rapid-fire elbows across the Silky Smooth one's chest. Moneymaker then grabs Le-Ro by his heavily gelled hair and leads him off his feet. He shoves him into the ropes and as Leon bounces back he buries his knee deep into his midsection. The Billion Dollar Heir chortles with a sickening joy, and loving that move so much, he replays it once more. He then throws his foe across the ring. Leon bounces off the ropes, ready to stage a counterattack against Moneymaker. But the Vero Beach native is several steps faster and sends him hurtling through the air with another knee to the stomach! The Grand Rapids Golden Child lands smack on the canvas, immediately clutching his sore midsection. "LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON!" COLE The fans getting behind Leon, who's had so many problems with Theodore Moneymaker in the past. Last year's Angleslam these two met in a five on five match in which Jade turned her back on The Enterprise and went back to the side of Leon Rodez and D*LUX where she belongs. Still holding onto his stomach, Leon begins rolling away from his opponent. But Moneymaker trails his retreat, gazing down on him with a pure contempt. Leon finally reaches the corner posts and with no where to go, the tycoon lifts him up by the purple collar of his singlet and stares harshly into his eyes. After offering Mister Rodez a few choice vulgarities, Moneymaker launches him into the opposite ropes. Leon hits the corner posts with a thud, but there's no rest for his weary bones as Moneymaker charges in with a back elbow. But the New Age Love Machine kicks up his legs and jams both knees into the spine of Moneymaker! While the Billion Dollar Heir lies in pain, Leon quickly scampers to the top rope. COLE Leon going up top! COACH Really, because I couldn't tell and all, with him climbing the turnbuckles only fifteen feet in front of me, two monitors showing the same thing, a scoreboard showing it, and that huge video screen showing it to. So thank you. COLE At least I know the visually impaired are. So there. Moneymaker quits pouting over Leon's attack long enough to begin peppering him with shots to his lower back. Given his position there's little Rodez can do besides wail in agony from the attacks. Thus Moneymaker has an easy time of taking hold of Leon and attaching his legs across his shoulders. The fans moan in panic as the hated heel pulls Leon off the ropes and into an unwelcome position. Abdullah holds his hands out in preemptive celebration of what's sure to be a deadly move. COLE Electric chair drop! Not if Silky Smooth has anything to say about, he rotates his limber body out and nauseates The Enterprise CEO with a picture perfect hurricanrana! Immediatley after hitting the mat, Moneymaker crawls on all fours reaching the corner and using it to pull himself up. Leon hounds him, paying little attention to his cowardly efforts to beg off. As such Moneymaker takes an even more pathetic route and sticks his body beneath the ropes, forcing Brannigan to get Rodez to back off. Rodez isn't exactly thrilled with this and argues that Moneymaker is simply doing this because the match is no longer going in his favor, but "rules are rules" says Brannigan. Taking advantage of the discussion between his cousin and his rival, Moneymaker gathers a wad of spit within his mouth and hurls it at Rodez! A huge clump of soggy disgusting spit lands on Leon's cheek, and a small frown forms on his face. Moneymaker smiles broadly and dares Rodez to take a swing at him. COLE Everyone knows Leon doesn't get mad... He gets even, bay-bee, this time by taking his own huge chunk of spit and casually blasting Moneymaker with it! COACH Well, I suppose that’s better than getting cummed on like Baron Windels. COLE Who got his vengeance earlier tonight, just as The Usual Suspects will for Bo and the OAOAST. As the fans roar for doing something they've always dreamed of, Leon gives them a hearty thumbs up. Obviously, not quite as happy as the crowd, Moneymaker comes scorching out the corner with a clothesline. But the quick cruiserweight dodges the blow and comes back at his archival with a spinning elbow. However, Moneymaker deftly sidesteps the attack and grabs a quick waistlock on Rodez. There's a brief struggle from the pride of Grand Rapids, but Moneymaker's expert strength snuffs it out and he school boy’s Leon, which includes a handful of tights! Brannigan counts... ONE! TWO! ...but with help from Zack Malibu and the fans notices the illegal tactic and orders Moneymaker to break, popping the crowd. For his part, Moneymaker just stares at his cousin and curtly asks him to remember where is loyalty lies. COLE Moneymaker was also the one who revealed that Jade is Krista's daughter, which has led to Jade moving from Grand Rapids to Los Angeles to live with Krista. That's been a bit of a sticking point for Leon who was used to having Jade close by in his parents home. COACH Waaah waaaah waaah! Gimmie a break, Mikey, Mister Moneymaker is changing the face of the OAOAST and Leon is all upset because he ain't got no one to go cow tipping with on Saturday nights. COLE There's a lot more to do in Grand Rapids besides cow tipping. There's also pig wrestling and sheep poker. Moneymaker steals a page out of his cousin’s playbook, raking the lace of the boots against the face of Leon Rodez. He then wraps his muscular arms around Leon's neck and leads him off the canvas. As Le-Ro fights to break free he applies the tag to the loathed Christian Wright. As the audience expresses their disdain for the verbose superstar, he scales to the top rope. On the apron Abdullah claps excitedly for the upcoming Enterprise double team. However his joy is short lived, and quickly turns into fear, as Leon breaks out of Moneymaker's clutches. Stunned, the wrestling mogul isn't able to defend himself against Leon shoving him into the ropes. As soon as he hits the cables, he knocks his partner entirely off balance and Wright falls crotch first onto the ringposts. He screams his misery at the top of his lungs, as the audience screams their joy and the top of their's. Leon isn't terribly sympathetic to his misfortune, and points to his own crotch, saying he should've worn a cup. COLE Wright's been a thorn in Leon's side since The Natural got into the OAOAST, so you know that had to feel good! COACH It ain't gonna feel good when Mister Moneymaker gets in Josie's ear and Leon finds himself curtain jerking against OAVW trainees before Syndicated. Pumping his fist ARESENIO HALL STYLE~! to keep the fans making noise, the Michigan studmuffin climbs onto the third rope. But his preoccupation with engaging his fanbase costs him dearly, as Moneymaker recovers to drag him back to the canvas. With his leader holding Rodez in place, Wright gets his dress shoes on proper footing, before leaving that footing altogether with a diving forearm! His eyes go wide with dismay as Le-Ro scoots out the way and Wright's forearm smacks Moneymaker flush in the face. Together they crash into the mat and the sold out dome crowd is absolutely ecstatic! Moneymaker and Wright lie about the canvas, clutching their sore faces, and each trying to blame the other for the miscue. COLE Leon loves to have fun, but he'll getcha every time out! COACH Yeah, yeah, can we talk about why the In Crowd has an all but convicted rapist on their roster and male pornstar, once seen humping a banana on camera? These fools make the Cincinnati Bengals look like Saint Catherine's school for girls. Having had his fill of Leon's magic for the moment, Moneymaker rolls his weary bones to the outside. He's comforted by Mackenzie, who assures him Wright has it all under control. The Natural promptly proves her wrong by climbing to his feet where he steps into a jab! And a jab! And a jab! And jab! Rodez turns to DA LADIEZ~ and blows a kiss before turning back and getting caught with the Wright Off (Sky high!) Anger quickly flows throughout the dome, as Wright mocks Leon's kiss blowing as he sits upon him for a pin ONE! TWO! Rodez kicks out, shocking Wright who was already planning his victory celebration. The Natural rams Leon into the buckle and unloads with European uppercuts and knife-edge chops, then fires him across to the far corner...but the Silky Smooth One reverses the Irish whip and follows in, diving his shoulder into Wright’s midsection! COLE Superman Spear! And it certainly took a superhuman effort for Leon Rodez to comeback after the punishment he’s received. Wright stumbles out of the corner and Rodez is waiting, taking the numbers cruncher over with a SITOUT HIPTOSS! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Abdullah rushes in and dropkicks Leon smack in the face, and the crowd reacts just as you’d expect, booing the intrusion. Tony Brannigan doesn’t appreciate it either, scolding his cousin’s spiritual guide, prompting Theodore Moneymaker to try and smooth things over. A tag ensues and, having waited till the time was right, Abdullah Nerdly assumes the role of legal man. Still woozy from the blow sustained moments ago, Leon Rodez walks into a flurry of high leg kicks that stagger the Grand Rapids Golden Child. Following a series of forearm smashes, Rodez is whipped to the corner, but Zack Malibu cushions the impact by throwing himself onto the top turnbuckle, shooting Leon Rodez back out at Abdullah who’s leveled by a flying forearm! An exchange is made and Zack Malibu nails Abdullah Nerdly with his trademark Zack Attack! Expecting company, Zack leaps to his feet and backdrops Christian Wright. About to be sent for the ride, Theodore Moneymaker throws himself on the top turnbuckle ala Zack earlier to soften CW‘s landing, but the Franchise redirects the Natural towards the Usual Suspects corner and punts Moneymaker in the air...CROTCHING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! MONEYMAKER The Billion Dollar Heir crumbles to the apron in pain, blues and agony as Zack Malibu delivers a tongue lashing on his way back towards the center of the ring, turning into the direction of a SPINNING HEEL KICK from Abdullah Nerdly! COACH That’s what you get for showboating, preppie. Who’s the big man on campus now? Sure as hell isn’t you anymore! Christian Wright receives the tag and waits for Abdullah to turn Zack over in a Boston Crab before coming down with a middle rope elbow drop! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Wright shoves Malibu into the Enterprise corner and brutalizes him with European uppercuts, forcing special referee Tony Brannigan to step in and back CW away. The Natural more than happy to oblige as Theodore Moneymaker and Abdullah Nerdly club Zack like a baby seal behind Tony’s back! COLE Zack Malibu being assaulted in the corner. COACH A walk in the park compared to what Mackenzie DeCenzo experienced. Speaking of Miss DeCenzo, she cheers her team on as they hammer Zack, who displays that baby face fire which made him the franchise by fighting back! COLE The Franchise’s stock is rising! COACH Hulking Up that ain't. Freed out of the corner, standing between Zack and the tag is Christian Wright. Malibu leapfrogs a spear and Wright posts himself! The Usual Suspects tag and the crowd explodes. Leon Rodez a human pinball machine bouncing off bodies and hitting anything that moves, or so it seems. Rolling sole BUTT kick to the gut puts CW in prime position for the EXPLODER SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! NO! Save by Theodore Moneymaker. The Billion Dollar Heir returns to the apron laughing and pointing to his head, but fails to hear Abdullah’s warning and is dropkicked by Rodez onto the guardrail below! Abdullah takes a swing at Leon to divert his attention as Christian breaths up the rear, but the New Age Love Machine isn’t stupid, taking the Natural down with a drop toehold. With CW slumped on the middle rope Leon does a little dance and shoots off the ropes, crashing all his weight... NO! Mackenzie DeCenzo shoves Christian aside and Abdullah whacks Leon with a roundhouse kick! COLE Nerdly caught the Suspect coming with that kick, and put him down! Wright rolls out of the ring, being tended to by Mackie while Abdullah pulls Leon up and does a mocking performance of Leon's dance steps before swinging with a right...that gets blocked! Leon jabs, and jabs, and jabs, then starts doing his own dance to a huge pop...but Abdullah cuts it off with a kick to the gut! Leon gets sent to the ropes, but puts the brakes on and strikes Nerdly with a kick as he ducks for a back bodydrop...but then Moneymaker runs across the apron and jerks Rodez down by reaching over the ropes and snapping his head back! Tony Brannigan is again unimpressed with his cousins actions as he leads him back to his corner...and as Leon rises to his feet, Christian Wright slides back into the ring and drills him in the back with a kneedrop that sends Leon out to the floor, on The Enterprises side of the ring! COACH Smart thinking! Looks like the former tag team champions aren't showing unity like they used to! COLE There's a difference between unity and underhanded tactics, Coach. Take a guess which on The Enterprise are using here tonight! Brannigan turns around to see Christian Wright backing away, and now he pays attention to him, scolding him for coming back in while being the illegal man...and THIS distraction works against poor Leon, as Moneymaker jogs across the apron and comes down with an axehandle that floors the In Crowd member! Moneymaker pulls Leon up and rolls him back into the ring, and while Wright is exiting, Nerdly grabs Leon and pulls him away from the ropes, holding on for a near fall! ONE! TWO! NO! KICKOUT! COLE Leon escapes that fall, keeping The Usual Suspects in this one! Abdullah pulls Leon up and takes him by the head, throwing him into The Enterprise corner, where he makes the tag to Moneymaker. Together, the two each take an arm and pull Leon out of the corner, but rather than send him across the ring, then hurl him backwards, slamming his back against the corner! Moneymaker then uses several kneelifts to weaken Leon, and then makes a tag to Wright, who comes in and uses a series of shoulderblocks to further take the wind out of him as Moneymaker watches on! Wright then pulls Leon out of the corner and uses a snap suplex, then hits the ropes and falls forward with an elbowdrop across the throat of his opponent, then pins him against the mat forcefully, going for the victory! ONE! TWO! NO! COLE The Enterprise functioning as a cohesive unit here, keeping Rodez at bay and as far away from Malibu as possible. COACH Which is good for them! COLE And good for Zack, because while it might be agonizing to watch his partner get worked over, he's gaining some valuable recuperation time! Malibu rallies the crowd, leading them in their chant of "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" as Abdullah has him trapped in a chinlock. The spiritual adviser wrenches Leon's head, cranking his neck in directions it wasn't meant to go, all while Malibu is forced to look on and helplessly await the tag! Tony Brannigan keeps an eye on his cousins crew, making sure they aren't continuing with their typical heel shenanigans, as Abdullah pulls Leon up and traps him in a front facelock, then hammers him across the back! COLE Abdullah Nerdly slowing the pace down, and continuing to work over Leon Rodez. Abdullah clubs Leon across the back, but Leon manages to shove him away and then starts moving towards Zack, but as he does Abduallah comes back up behind him and traps him in a sleeperhold! COACH Good night, little Leon! The crowd gasps as Leon fights to stay awake, looking to battle his way out of the hold. Moneymaker cackles over in his corner as Nerdly smiles at his employer, proud to be the one putting their rival down! Leon struggles, but starts to fall to the pressure of the hold, dropping to one knee! Nerdly keeps the hold cinched in, and Brannigan leans in, checking to see if Rodez has gone off to dreamland! "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" Malibu pounds on the turnbuckle, rallying the crowd as much as possible in an effort to keep Leon alive in this contest! Nerdly shouts at the crowd to shut up, but it only motivates them to chant louder, feeding into Leon's motivation! Slowly, Leon starts to power up, trying to find a way out...and when he reaches back and grabs Nerdly by the head, he jumps downward and jars him by bringing his head down on top of his own with a jawbreaker! Nerdly staggers back, while a weary Leon crawls, eventually pushing up to his feet. Nerdly charges in but Leon drops the head and sends him up and over with a back bodydrop, then dives for his corner, slapping Zack Malibu's extended hand and making the legal tag! COLE Heeeeeeeeere we go! The crowd roars as Zack slingshots in, nailing Nerdly with a leaping lariat mere seconds after he gets to his feet! Christian Wright charges in but finds himself hiptossed over! Zack stares down Moneymaker, and as the crowd anticipate a big showdown, Teddy suddenly drops off the apron and holding his hands up in a sign of peace. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a coward! COACH Oh sure, running out of bounds is smart, calling strategic timeouts is smart, but when Theodore Moneymaker does something smart, it has to be 'cowardly'. Zack leaves Moneymaker be, just in time to duck the line from CW. Wright screeches to a halt and Zack aims for his head with SCHOOL'S OU... NO! Wright catches the foot! With an arrogant smile he wags his finger and spins Zack away. But Zack uses the momentum and catches Abdullah on his way up with a Dragon Whip kick! Out through the ropes tumbles Abdullah, leaving CW to look on in shock. Quick to his feet Zack catches Wright off guard with a flurry of open handed strikes, then looks for an irish whip. Reversal by Wright, looking to take Zack up for the Wright Off... but Zack goes loose and hooks Wright with a dramatic DDT!! Mackenzie can't watch, as Zack makes the cover... ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MONEYMAKER!! COLE Oh sure, now he comes in with Zack blindsighted! COACH Well timeouts only last so long. Moneymaker puts the boots to Zack, until a recouperated Leon runs him over with a clothesline! Out rolls Moneymaker, with Leon in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, Abdullah is helped back in by Mackenzie. Seeing his opportunity, Abdullah gives praise to the great Gods above as he approaches the downed Zack and applies the CAMEL CLUTCH!! COACH YES! BREAK HIS BACK! MAKE HIM HUMBLE! SYRIA BY WAY OF EDMONTON NUMBAH 1! Nodding his head, Abdullah smiles a broad smile as he pulls back on the hold. But Zack's hands suddenly push up, fingers wagging. Abby's exultation turns to horror as Zack then starts to climb to his feet. Wrenching on the hold doesn't work. And Zack gets to one knee... then to both feet... before lifting Abdullah up on his back! The crowd cheer wildly waiting for Zack to lower the boom. But Abdullah desperatedly cups his hands over Zack's eyes so he can't see where he is. Zack walks around looking for ropes or turnbuckles but can't find them. Instead, Wright is slid the BRIEFCASE by Mackenzie, who climbs to the apron to get the attention of Tony Brannigan. COLE Wait a minute! Tony, turn around! Mackenzie starts to recount the horrors of her ordeal with Bohemoth, figuring that's a long enough sob story to keep T-Bod busy. Behind him, Wright has the briefcase wielded and ready to strike. But, Brannigan is no spring chicken and sees right through the rouse, blowing Mackenzie off and GRABBING THE BRIEFCASE FROM CW'S HANDS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ALRIGHT! COACH What are you doing, that's Enterprise property! Telling Christian he's not going to stand for that, Brannigan slides the briefcase out. An arguement breaks out between CW and T-Bod, as Zack finally sees where he is and backpedals to drive Abdullah into the turnbuckles. Wright breaks away from Brannigan and charges, but ends up sandwiching Abdullah in the corner! Malibu then backs across the ring, getting two for one on the ZACK ATTACK 2~!! Abdullah falls to his knees and Wright gets caught in a waistlock, into a German, with the bridge... ONE! TWO! NO!! COACH Phew! What a quick count by that no good Brannigan! COLE That's not what you were saying about him earlier! Christian is pulled to the outside by Mackenzie. Abdullah soon follows him, as Zack sends him to arm's length and draws him back into a backdrop, over the top onto The Natural!! With two down on the floor, in comes the other, still playing cat and mouse with Leon Rodez. Moneymaker comes to an abrupt halt when he runs into Zack though, turning on his heels only to run into Rodez. And when he tries to hightail it down the middle, Brannigan is in his way, asking his cousin where he thinks he's going. COLE Moneymaker is cornered! The snake has been cornered! Suddenly all the money in the world can't help Theodore and his pleas for mercy go unheard. As Teddy charges, Leon jars him with a quick inverted atomic drop. COACH Oh no, the famous Moneymaker assets! Brannigan is quick to make sure the two on one doesn't last though and ushers Leon to his corner, while Zack spies Mackenzie on the apron again. After dedicating this one to her, he loads up with SCHOOL'S OU... ...NO! Moneymaker ducks the boot AND UPPERCUTS ZACK BELOW THE BELT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Lowblow, damnit! And Brannigan didn't see it! COACH Great officiating from my boy T-Bod, get Rodez outta that ring. With Zack curled up in a ball, Brannigan certainly suspects something is amiss. But with no evidence aside from his cousin's track record, he doesn't have much of a choice but to count, as Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! before cradling Zack up tight. He also doesn't see CPA running down the aisle and holding Leon's foot, preventing him from getting back inside! ONE! TWO! ...DELAY... THREE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That stinks! The Enterprise have stolen this one! A still suspicious Brannigan calls for the bell, more than a little begrudgingly. Finally CPA lets Leon's foot go, too late for him to do anything about the fall, but just in time to get scythed down with a short lariat by Moneymaker! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of this match... the team of ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY... CHRISTIAN WRIGHT... and, "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MONEYMAKER!!! But even though the match is over, the fight is only just starting as CPA jumps in to join Teddy in putting the boots to The Usual Suspects. And soon enough CW and Abdullah are getting in on the fun as well, despite Brannigan's attempts to get rid of them. COLE Come on, enough is enough! The match is over! COACH The Enterprise are just giving people their money's worth, like always. With 4 on 1 odds, Zack and Leon are helpless as the boots rain down on them. Brannigan continues to try and put a stop to the beating but nobody's listening to him. At least, nobody except one. And feeling pretty big about himself with all his buddies around, Abdullah has no worries about telling Tony exactly where to go at the top of his voice, before going back to work. Head down, Brannigan shakes his head at the kids today... ...and grabs Abdullah by the scruff of the neck, before giving him an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, to the sheer DELIGHT of the San Antonio crowd!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH COLE PILEDRIVER!! HELL YEAH TONY! The rest of The Enteprise don't look too mournful over Abdullah's fate. But they do see Brannigan continuing to yell at them to stop and suddenly round on him. "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" Brannigan is taken by surprise, but doesn't back down as CW, CPA and Moneymaker all start to move towards him, putting up a guard and telling them to bring it on. His cousin laughs at his bravado and shakes his head. But JUST as he's about to set his wolves on the hometown hero... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH OH NO! COLE OH YEAH!! The crowd EXPLODE as BOHEMOTH comes sprinting out of the entrance way and to the ring! Every member of The Enterprise, not least Mackenzie, is in shock as he then hits the ring and mows down CW with a clothesline! And CPA with a clothesline! Moneymaker is as you'd expect long-gone, shepherding Mackenzie to safety. Wright makes it out relatively unscathed as well, thanks to a second Bo clothesline up and over the top. Which leaves CPA, to be scooped up and planted with the Front Spinebuster!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE BOHEMOTH IS TEARING THE ENTERPRISE APART! COACH Who let this animal in the building!? He's a rapist! Mackenzie, CW and Moneymaker all look in shock as Bo tears his dress shirt apart sending buttons flying into the audience. Climbing on the ropes he points the finger towards the trio in the aisleway with wild eyes. Bo then turns back to the ring and grabs a hold of the only man left, Abdullah, dragging his lifeless body off the mat. BOHEMOTH (to Moneymaker and co.) YOU! *throat slit* Bohemoth scoops Abdullah up in his arms like a small child, before swinging the soothsayer around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! Oh, The Enterprise are in some deep, deep trouble! Christian comforts the distraught Mackenzie, as Bohemoth stands tall in the ring, joined by Tony Brannigan and pretty soon Zack and Leon pulling themselves to their feet. And it's clear Bohemoth hasn't got all he wanted of The Enterprise just yet! COACH This is awful. That menace should be in jail, not here, trying to get his hands on poor, innocent Mackenzie again. What the hell is he doing here anyway!? COLE Maybe that 'evidence' nobody but The Enterprise has seen was as phony as we thought? COACH Oh come on! Bohemoth, Zack and Leon regroup with Brannigan checking on his old pal's condition too as we fade away.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... your following contest, set for one fall... is the FINALS of the OAOAST MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT!! In which, the winner will recieve $500,000 in prize money... Cut to the side of the ring, where Terry Taylor inexplicably models the suitcase full of bills like a Price Is Right extra. He has super speed. See, that's how he was able to get from the backstage to the ring in about ten seconds. Ya know what, fuck you to. BUFFER ...and, the opportunity to challenge the OAOAST World's Champion at any time for up to one year! At this time, introducing, finalist number one. Down go the lights in the arena, to almost dark, save for a couple of roving spotlights scanning the entrance way. In the silence whistles and cheers can be heard from the crowd, eagerly awaiting this marquee match-up. No cheers go up for the cueing of the music though, largely because nobody was expecting to hear 80's power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" right about now. Confusion hangs over the crowd as two bright lights illuminate the rest of the entrance way from above the lone-star shaped big-screen. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" As the drums kick in, those hoping and expecting yet another new theme song for Krista (and let's be honest, who could blame them?) are sorely disappointed, as it's LANDON MADDIX who walks out through the entrance with his arms raised triumphantly at his sides! Landon soaks in the rocking 80s sounds under the boos ringing through the arena, flanked by Megan Skye who is the only one of the two to show any embarrassment over the new song choice. In his element, Landon does a quick twirl into a dramatic bow before ruffling his hair and marches down to the ring. COACH Only Landon Maddix! Only Landon could come out to a song like this! COLE Only Landon Maddix WOULD come out to a song like this you mean? BUFFER Accompanied to the ring this evening by his 'Perfect 10', MEGAN SKYE! He hails from Huron, South Dakota, by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing in tonight at two hundred and eight pounds. He is the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, the Commissioner of the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, the former OAOAST Champion of the World... he is LLLLAAAAAAAANNDDDDOOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMAAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "You said - oh girl It's a cold world When you keep it all to yourself" Landon slows down his walk in accordance with the song, wearing an even bigger smile on his face than usual tonight. Nodding his head he stops in front of maybe the one and only person in the entire city of San Antonio cheering him and shrugs his shoulders, 'humbly' asking that person to save his applause in a show which fools no-one. "I said you can't hide on the inside All the pain you've ever felt" Of course the rest of the fans lined down the aisleway are all giving him the thumbs down, or other fingers up, so he quickly veers away from the barricade and back to his usual source of support, Megan Skye. "Ransom my heart, but baby don't look back Cause we got nobody else!" Grabbing Megan around the shoulders, Landon can contain himself no longer and sings along at the top of his lungs, fist clenching, arm pumping, feeling the power of the ballad take over him! "We're running with the Shadows of the Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" COLE Landon clearly in fine form here tonight at AngleSlam. And you couldn't blame him for being extra confident, after the debacle that was that 'debate' this past Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! The sneak attack by the members of Cucaracha Internacional on Krista, who was driven through that podium by the monstrous Faqu, before Landon delivered the Go To Sleep and scored a phony pinfall. Completely unneccessary from all concerned. COACH Hold up, what do you mean 'phony pinfall'? Did he pin Krista for a 1, 2, 3 or not? COLE Well he did... COACH Exactly. COLE But first of all, it wasn't a referee counting. And second of all, we don't know that Krista wouldn't have kicked out if she had to. The fact remains Krista has never been pinned in one on one competition in her long OAOAST career and if you're seriously going to count that sham last week as a pinfall, then... well, then I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But you shouldn't, that's the point. Climbing up the ring steps Landon saunters down the apron, waiting for Megan to sit herself across the middle rope to hold it open. And, just as importantly, waiting for his music to catch up with him, before bounding into the ring, spinning triumphantly with arms out-stretched in as grand a gesture as possible. "We're running with the Shadows of the Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" COLE It's usually Krista who makes the grand entrances come Pay Per View nights. I think even she's going to be able to match the grand, over the top energy of Landon. Which is kinda scary when you think about it. Landon is disrobed of his trenchcoat and begins to warm up. BUFFER And introducing his opponent... Excitement is renewed now, as all eyes turn to the entrance way. Stood across from each other stand two cowboy costumed cowgirls in a heated face-off. Turning back to back, they step out ten paces before reaching into the holsters around their waist, turning... and just then the smooth yet funky synthesized melodies of MGMT's Electric Feel kicks in and the cheers grow ever louder as the fans rise to their feet. "Shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel Ooh girl shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel" The entrance stage is buried in a harmonious, almost sensual and enigmatic turquoise light. Silver sparkling snow begins to lightly rain down from the ceiling, glittering beautifully in the lighting. Out from the back comes Krista, dressed in a ruffled pink ballgown and looking shocked at the gunfight about to erupt. She shrieks for the cow'boy's to quit their fighting, because there's plenty of this fair maiden to go around! Discarding their guns, the two women rush over and embrace Krista, before simultaneously tearing away the ballgown to reveal Krista's wrestling attire, which is only a little more suitable and traditional than a ballgown to be fair. More girls jog out, all dressed like extras from a Preston Sturgis movie. The girls then perform a seductive hoedown (never thought I'd be typing those words) around Krista. COLE I can't believe I ever doubted Krista was toppable. Standing at the height of the stage, at the center of everyone's attention, Krista Isadora Duncan is handed a martini by one of her dancers dressed in a bartender's costume and she raises it in salute to her dancers before downing it in one. Unfortunately the bartender dancer was only supplied with one martini and it looks like Krista might find use for the discarded guns for a second. BUFFER And the opponent... from Los Angeles, California! She is a best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year... she is "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSTTAAAAAAAA... IIIIIISSSSSAAAAAAAAADDOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaving the Texas themed insanity behind her Krista marches down the aisle, already casting an icy glare towards Landon. COLE One thing we've come to realise here in the OAOAST... making Krista angry is rarely, if ever, a wise thing to do. COACH I think last week proved, the Krista we once knew isn't the same Krista. The Krista we've come to realise stuff from wouldn't have been pinned on Thursday night, would she? COLE Okay, I can see you're going to keep dwelling on that so let's change the subject and remind everybody, this is for $500,000 of Theodore Moneymaker's own money and the Money In The Bank World Title contract. Plus of course, 15% of Theodore Moneymaker's TSM shares in the offering should Landon defeat Krista, which he says he will use to get the SWF back on television. Huge stakes in this first time match-up, and with these two involved this should certainly be some spectacle. And it could be some night for the Duncan family, with Jade having already pulled off a huge upset by beating Malaysia for the women's title! Krista's legs glide across the apron, then attach themselves to the third rope. She bends herself backwards to the audience's delight, showing the dexterity to still flip the camera off before levering herself gracefully into the ring. Landon watches all of this from a seated position on the turnbuckles, with the nerve to accuse Krista of milking her entrance too much. COLE Pot, Kettle, Cucaracha. Jumping down from the ropes Landon goes over strategy one last time with Megan before she's moved out of the ring. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" COLE This crowd in San Antonio right behind Krista from the get-go, as we get ready for this historic tournament final. *DINGDINGDING!* Even with sixty thousand screaming fans firmly standing against him, and a foe firing off a stare that could pierce through steel, Landon is as arrogant and obnoxious as ever. Fluffing his shaggy hair, he struts to Krista with his mouth twisted into a smirk. “I pinned you on HeldDOWN~!” He begins, not phased by Krista's hateful glare “I pinned you and I had a three hundred pound man ram your head through a wooden podium at that. You got any comeback for that, Sara Silverman? That's a comedian right? I think so. Yeah, ya got any come back for that, Sara Silverman?” “Well, honey, I do have this...” Krista trails off innocently and then not so innocently uses her teeth to peel the skin right off Landon's nose! As the fans let loose a monstrous roar, Landon himself lets loose one as well, only his is scream is caused by a horrific pain. 
“Virgin Mary in a strip club! You bit me!” He shouts, covering his nose and cowering away from Krista. Krista puts on her most sickeningly sweet smile “What did you expect me to do?” “Compliment me on my ingenious scheme or fine choice of new entrance music. Or maybe just slap me?” “Oh, honey, and mess up my French tips? Never!” Having had enough of talking with Landon for the moment, Krissy latches onto his arm and throws him into the ropes. He bounces off the cables, and as he returns he leaps forward and raises both his knees to strike her. But Miss California is far quicker than Mister South Dakota, and surprises him with a Lou Thez press. Together they crash into the ground, with the audience loudly rooting on the former OAOAST tag champ. While being mounted by Krista might be a pleasurable position most of the time, its certainly not one currently as she goes back to feasting on what's left of his nose! Maddix's throat pours out shrill shrieks of agony, that are hardly heard over the cheering of the fans. He tries his damndest to remove the vampric babe, but such resistance only makes her more inclined to bite harder. COLE I'm going to guess Landon is probably regretting pissing Krista off at this moment. Krista finally dismounts Maddix, and chuckles softly. La Cucaracha doesn't find quite the amusement as she does and complains to senior referee Clem Buzzlefoxer about Krista's foray into cannibalism. “You daft idiot! You're standing two feet away from us! Do you not see her gnawing on my nose? Are you legally blind?” “Yes.” The 86 year old referee bemoans, and Maddix just sort of frowns, humiliated. “This has been lessons in being a dickhead with Landon Maddix. Up next How To Break Your Shoe Off In Landon Maddix's ass and still keep your girlish charm with celebrity fitness guru Krista Isadora Duncan” She comments. To further aggravate her short tempered rival, she begins clicking her heels against the canvas, and urging him on like a Matador. Already snarling like an enraged bull, the Spaniard needs no further invitation and charges her. However, Miss California gracefully slides out the way and Maddix goes zooming past. He stamps his black leather boots on the mat in frustration, which only grows worse when he sees Krista bow to an adoring audience! Once again the GLAAdiator waves him on, and once again Landon charges on. But he's foiled a second time by Krissy's fancy footwork, and the Hollywood starlet bows to the fans once more. In an unusual act for her, Krista notices Landon's fierce glower, and feels a modicum of sympathy for him. “Honey, I'm sorry! It was wrong of me to play into sterotypes of the Spanish by doing a matador bit with you. If it makes you feel any better, why don't you just throw a quarter on the ground and I'll rush to pick it up like it was solid gold and you can call me a cheap Jew.” “I'd think I'd get a little more satisfaction out of beating you for the Money In The Bank contract.” “And I'd get a little more satisfaction out of having your girlfriend in a whipped cream bikini in my bedroom, but we've got to be realistic. So hurry up and give me my quarter, you lazy Italian.” “I'm Spanish, and anyway, I'm not listening to you!” Landon remarks to himself as much as to Krista and then darts at his rival. Krista casually scoots out of the way of his advance and watches with bemusement as he slams into the ring posts., wondering why he charged her when she wasn't doing the matador bit anymore. Putting that issue aside, Krista's long legs carry her towards Landon and her knee is implanted directly into his jaw. Maddix offers a low moan of misery, but the covergirl barely notices he's even there as she's too concerned with fixing her hair after noticing a few loose strands in the video screen. Once she's assured that she's ready for a Panteen commercial, she tucks her knees into Maddix's chest and monkey flips him towards the center of the ring! But, La Cucaracha comes down on his boots, albeit slightly off balance. That doesn't stop the SWF and OAOAST's resident egomaniac from celebrating though, as he points to his noggin to let the audience know how smart he is. His claims of intelligence are quickly refuted as Krista shocks him with a running face crusher, that plants his sore nose into the canvas! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Face down on the canvas, Maddix moans about Krista's usage of the face crusher, not an illegal move, but with a near broken nose, minor things like rules hardly apply. Yawning with apathy, Krista's laidback Californian accent responds, “Get up, Little Maddy. Why do you care if I take a few inches off your pig nose? You're an oink and a curly tail away from the lead role in the next Babe movie. If this SWF thing doesn't work out, and I don't know why a direct to DVD wrestling promotion possibly wouldn't, you can always try the county fairs.” “I'm not listening to you, you vapid bimbo!” Landon shouts. “If you win you'll get a blue ribbon.” COLE Why did you make her mad, Landon? Not exactly keen on the idea of working the county fair circuit, the SWF boss leaps to his feet. Krista pounces him by slashing her heels against his shin, and then spinning through the air to blast him in the stomach. The wind knocked out of him, Maddix goes staggering backwards. But, Krista catches onto his wrist and attempts to hurl him into the corner. La Cucaracha shifts his body weight and reverses the hold to send Miss California rushing to turnbuckles. She hits the corner posts with such impact, that she flips through the air and winds up situated on top the ring posts. So dazed by that nauseating trip up the posts, she fails to notice her foe sprinting to her position. When she does become aware of his location, its too late for her to react, and he spring boards off the ropes and blasts her in the face with a dropkick. She's tossed from the turnbuckles and sent flying through the air, a trip that comes to a violent end when she crashes to the mats. The Alamo Dome gasps in horror as they watch Krista lie motionless on the mat. Landon just leans over the ropes and stares her with evil beady eyes. “I'm earning my five hundred thousand tonight! That had to be at least a ten thousand dollar dropkick right there.” He boastfully remarks, as he exits the ring and positions himself on the ring steps. He motions for Krista to get to her feet. But quickly losing patience, he attacks her with a leaping forearm as she reaches her knees. Krista sags back to the ground, besieged with terrible pain. Pleased with that blow, Maddix announces to no one in particular that it was a twenty thousand dollar forearm. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” Landon grabs their heroine by her golden blond hair and leads her upright. He deposits her limp figure into the ring, and then follows her inside. As Landon returns to the ring, Krissy begins a slow trip upright. But whatever threat she may have posed him is immediately neutralized by four stiff kicks to her legs. COACH Those legs are insured for ten million dollar, man. You mess with those you gonna have to rob the money in the bank when those dudes from Lloyds of London come knocking on your door step. Weakened by Landon's unrelenting assault, Krista is unable to prevent him from taking hold of her slender waist and shoving her into the corner. As she hits the ring posts an “oomph” is forced out her bubble gum pink lips, and a smile is forced onto Landon's who deems that a two thousand dollar attack. He then attacks her bare stomach, hitting her with with all the might in his lean body. But as a fitness queen, Krista's six packed stomach could deflect bullets, and Landon's attacks as furious as they may be, are only minor annoyances. Megan realizes this rather quickly, and informs Landon. But ever the stubborn one, the pride of Madrid has to strike her two more times before discovering he's having hardly any affect. Angered by the fact that she's not an obese slob with a soft stomach, Landon pulls her away from the ropes in order to terrorize her with a trio of knees that strike against her face. Miss California whimpers in distress which causes her tormentor to feign tears and then burst out laughing. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE You probably shouldn't attack Krista's face, unless you just like living in mortal fear for the rest of your adult life. Then go right ahead and enjoy using handicap parking till your dying day. Perhaps heeding Cole's wise advice, Maddix spins behind Krista and coils his arms around her sexy stomach in a waistlock. As La Cucaracha tries to bring her up for a German Suplex, the bombshell steadfastly fights against her clutches. Yet its obvious to her she won't be able to combat his strength forever, thus other measures are required. Thus she begins grinding and rubbing her her firm round tush against his crotch. All thoughts of a German suplex are erased as her luscious BUTT sends a tidal wave of pleasure washing over him. COACH Damn! Landon better pack heat and roll with the Nation of Islam anytime he's backstage around one of D*LUX, 'cause those dudes just lost their shit! Reduced into a drooling primate in dire need of a new change of tights and some tissues, Landon is unable to maintain his grip and Krista effortlessly busts free. She whips around to his front, and with a hand on his shoulder brings him down with a jaw breaker! Maddix remains upright, but goes teetering backwards, his vision swimming from the violent force of the move. Because of his mangled sight, he can't prevent Krista from lacing her ten million dollar legs around his neck and hurling him over with a frankensteiner! Landon's head rings louder than a cathedral bell and he's sent skidding across the canvas, to the fans immense pleasure. Despite this crash landing, the silver tongued Spaniard is quick to get back upright. Unfortunately, his feisty enemy is quick to pounce on him; she leaps into him with her knees pressed against his chest for the KIDology (codebreaker)! The audience is ready to explode with monstrous cheers for her finisher, but Landon snuffs out their joy, by falling backwards and using his hold on her slender hips to fling her to the ropes. The crowd's delight turns to worry then finally back to delight as they watch the lithe beauty land with her feet placed firmly on the ropes. COLE Krista going for that move that eliminated Leon Rodez! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Hey, I did that all in high heels, that's damn impressive. I'm gonna need a little more than a loudly stated well synchronized reminder of what my name is.” “ALL HAIL KRISTA! ALL HAIL KRISTA! ALL HAIL KRISTA!” Satisfied with being recognized as royalty, her highness flings herself backwards at Maddix with a lionsault. La Cucaracha is well prepared for her arrival and ducks beneath her ascending body. But yet again, she frustrates him beyond all belief by having a safe landing on her heels. The audience is ready to praise their queen, but she kindly informs them that won't be necessary. But the fans soon lose any reason to feel happy as Maddix shocks Miss California and captures her on his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. Knowing full well what lies ahead, the sold out arena gets to its feet and bombards the former SWF World Champion with venomous boos. “All hail, Landon Maddix!” He shouts. “All hail the ten time SWF World Champion!” “Its only two times, Landon.” Megan corrects. “Shut up, they don't know that!” He whines. Unable to take his anger out on Megan, as that would be spousal abuse, Maddix takes it out on Krista, throwing her off his shoulder and raising his knee for the Go 2 Sleep! However its La Cucaracha who's nearly knocked into an eternal slumber, as Krista snakes her arms around his neck and smashes his head into the canvas with a crowd pleasing DDT! Assailed by a pounding headache, Maddix remains on the ground, urging the elderly referee to reward him the contest by virtue of the fact that he's never voted for cutbacks on Medicaid. COLE Landon Maddix was only a knee lift away from getting the SWF back on live TV and repeating as Mister Money In The Bank! If you have Krista set up for the kill you have got to finish. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” The audience behind Krista are given a rear view worth well more than a half a million, as Krista bends over and awaits Maddix's rise from the canvas. To bide the time she twirls imaginary guns like a wild west slinger. Fortunately, Landon rises and the miming needn't last long and Krista scorches towards him with her second KIDology attempt! “YEAAAAAAAA!” But Maddix catches onto her legs and violently shoves her back to the ground, a forceful counter that even sends him teetering backwards to the ropes. “BOOOOOOO!” Crumbled in a heap and tormented by an agonized back, Krista is easy pickings for Maddix. He smiles broadly as he hooks onto her legs and leaps through them for a jack knife pin. Buzzlefoxer drops to his arthritic knee (and one fake leg!) to make the count... ONE! TWO! Krista's shoulder comes off the canvas, thrilling the audience, while aggravating Maddix to no end. He complains to the official, pulsing anger creeping into his voice. But he manages to calm his issues with the referee enough to return his focus to Krista. He batters her with stomps to her sore back, delighting in her every cry that his attacks generate. Unable to endure the mounting pain he brings her, she rolls across the ring floor in small hopes of making an escape. Maddix is merciless and hounds her with stomps targeted at her back. He determines he's done enough to weaken her with simple strikes and decides to move onto more deadly attacks. Thus, with a grip on the back of her vest dress he lifts her off the canvas. But just as quickly as he lifted her up does he put her back down, courtesy of a lung blower. Krista bounces off his knees onto the mat and bawls her pain, drawing worried expressions onto the spectators' faces. COACH Landon invited me out to his victory dinner party later tonight. And call me Gustav because I'ma make rain on these hos! I'm gonna order me Aussie Cheese Fries with ranch dressing and fried onions. COLE I don't think that's a good idea, Doctor Doris Carnnes said that's America's least healthiest food. COACH I ain't gonna let no bitch tell me what to eat! And a female doctor? You think cause you give a woman a book instead of havin her cook you a meal or wash your feet that makes her a doctor? Just cause you teach a monkey to wipe its ass don't mean what's on the toilet paper ain't shit! La Cucaracha brings Krista to her feet and rocks her jaw with a spinning back fist. The blow packs enough punch to floor the starlet, but Maddix keeps her upright with a front facelock. He brings Krista into the skies, then punishes her by dropping her directly onto her head. As she lies face down onto the canvas, he follows that up with a twisting leg drop onto the back of her skull. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans try to rally their heroine. Drawing strength from their support, Krista regains her footing. But she can't offer them the flurry of offense they've been begging for as Maddix is quick to keep her weak with straight kicks to the back. He then forces Krista onto his shoulders in the all too familiar fireman's carry hold. Inching closer to the ropes, he showcases his beautiful victim to the wrathful audience, before finally slinging her off his slim shoulders and rifling his knee towards her face! Unwilling to see any harm done to her moneymaking appearance, Krista shifts her body in midair and totally avoids Landon's finisher. The audience goes wild with glee, but Landon is paralyzed in utter shock at missing his Go 2 Sleep. Now its Krista's time for revenge, and she gets it in the most pain inducing way possible, shredding Landon's skin with a vile knife edge chop. “AHHHHHH!” Landon yells, the pain almost bringing him to his knees. “God bless America, don't do that!” “Why not?” “I had a pectoral tendon rupture when I was in grade school and a bully hung me on the monkey bars by my nipples, and I've never gotten over it. You don't wanna be like these other jerks who keep chopping me to hurt me. That's what wrestlers do. You're better than that. You're a celebrity. Stay classy, baby.” Krista thinks it over for a moment, “Gee, honey, even for a guy who openly boasts about being the commissioner of a direct to DVD independent wrestling promotion without any hint of irony, you suck a lot more than I thought. But very well, Little Maddy, I won't hit your poor widdle chest.” LIES 
“SAY *CHOP* YOUR *SORRY* FOR *CHOP* PUTTING *CHOP* ME *CHOP* THROUGH *CHOP* THE PEW *CHOP*” There's a moments pause as the audience enthusiastically celebrates her beating, and Krista continues “SORRY *CHOP* I *CHOP* MEANT “*CHOP* PODIUM *CHOP* NOT *CHOP* PEW* *CHOP*! “Owwww” Landon moans, his cry coming out as little more than faint choking sound. “OWWWW? *CHOP* WHO *CHOP* THE *CHOP* FUCK *CHOP* IS *CHOP* THIS *CHOP* OWWW *CHOP* BITCH *CHOP* FUCK *CHOP* YO *CHOP* MOTHERFUCKIN *CHOP* CHEST *CHOP* WHITEBOY! I'LL *CHOP* CHOP *CHOP* THE *CHOP* MEXICAN *CHOP* OUTTA *CHOP* YOU *CHOP* BITCH!” “I...I...I'm Spanish.” Maddix whines, instantly regretting. “YOU'LL *CHOP* BE *CHOP* GOD DAMN *CHOP* KLINGON *CHOP* IF *CHOP* A *CHOP* BITCH *CHOP* SAYS *CHOP* YOU *CHOP* ARE!” COLE Landon said things would be different here at Angleslam, but he all but sealed this fate in the closing minutes of HeldDOWN~! Why oh why did you ever piss her off, La Cucaracha? Finally, Krista relents, and Landon is left to hear the raucous ovation fans instead of the sound of his skin being mutilated. As agony gnaws at his chest, his opponent takes off to the ropes. He lowers his head, hoping that she'll simply leapfrog him. This proves to be a profoundly stupid tactic, as Krista just rifles her foot into his chest. Maddix rockets back upright, as excruciating pain plays on his facial features. That's the perfect look for Krista, and the walk of famer leaps into his chest for another KIDology effort. The audience, who were ready to toast to a KID victory, are sorely disappointed when Maddix once again brushes her away from him. Their disgust is tempered somewhat when they see her come down on her heels. And that disgust is totally evaporated as those heels blast Landon in his chest with a dropsault. Krissy again lands on her feet, and further wows the audience by twisting into a standing shooting star press that nearly caves in Landon's chest. Krista then blows the audience a kiss. Ain't that sweet? “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the crowd sings as she covers Landon for a pinfall ONE! TWO! Landon lifts his shoulders off the canvas, and the audience douses him with boos. Krista throws a nasty glare at Buzzlefoxer for a slightly slow count. Fortunately Clem is half blind, otherwise he might be a tad worried that Krista is planning on bringing his long life to a short end. COLE In Krista's industry these retries of the KIDology are called retakes. COACH In our industry, you're called a complete jackass. Krista is back on her feet, making sure she hasn't got any of Landon's blood on her bright white heels. Guarding his chest like he's bundling a baby, Maddix slowly steps upright. The moment he reaches his feet Krista grabs onto his arm and launches him into the ropes. As he returns, the arrogant superstar is leapfrogged by the arrogant celebrity. Maddix skids to a halt, thinking he can capture Krista unaware with the Landon Eye. Unfortunately his plan goes up in brilliant flames as Krista executes an inverted atomic drop to his nether regions. Eager to show he's well endowed in that area, Landon screams as though he just got stabbed with an ice pick. Krista attempts to silence his wailing with the thundering superkick that completes Krista's Great California Adventure. But, Mister Money In The Bank recovers from his man pain just in time to catch hold of her boot. This does not please Krissy in the slightest. “Honey, these are eight hundred ninety five dollar pumps, if I find a single one of your little paw prints on them I'll have you in Afghanistan picking opium for a Taliban drug lord by day and working the Thailand prostitute circuit by night. I can do that, my dad's in congress.” Landon calls Krista's bluff, and while she doesn't have him working the streets of Bangok just yet, she does scramble his brains with an enziguri. Face drained off all life, La Cucaracha flips over onto the mat. With his chest exposed he's left perfect victim for the high angle double knee drop Krista drives into his chest. As Landon whimpers and the crowd cheers, Krista tries another pinfall... ONE! TWO! Landon keeps the SWF's dreams of a return to television prominence alive with a kickout. He's quickly back to his feet and tries to repay Krista for his earlier anguish with a chop to her ample chest. But theattack does nothing but leave Landon hypnotized by the boobie jiggliation he's just caused. “Try it again!” Terry shouts disguising his words in a Mickey Mouse voice so as Krista won't embalm him latter. Assuring Megan that he's acting strictly on athletic motivators, Maddix retries his effort to same gravity defying results. A delighted smile (and a few other things) rise and he winds up to send her betties bouncing. But Krista takes advantage her mesmerizing breasts to hook her arms around his neck in preparation for The Blonds Never Pay a Cover (Side Effect). She drives him down into the canvas, to a large pop from the fans. Maddix hurriedly stands back up only to be captured by the sight of her jiggling jumbos and then by a second side effect! Back to his feet and she tries to give a taste of Life In The Fab lane. However, without bouncing breasts to distract him, he has her number and counters her twist of fate efforts by driving her onto her neck with a Northern lights suplex. Maddix gives himself delighted applause for his “achievement”, a gesture that's returned by absolutely no one, not even Megan. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” is the annoying message he hears as he makes his way towards the turnbuckles. Informing the audience that he'll make certain their cable boxes are banned from receiving the new SWF Tv show, La Cucaracha heads up top. He crouches on his nest, impatiently waiting for Krista to rise off again. Only when she does just that, he's vexed even further as Krissy complains of missing a contact. “You don't even wear cont...” Maddix's words trail off into an amazed stammering brought on by Krista's splendid bouncing BUTT. His head swims and his every nerve tingles with rapture as her buns of steel beautifully writhe and pulse just inches from his widened eyes. “YEAAAAAAAA!” COLE Page 142 Chapter 7 Line 17 of KID 101: How To Be Darned Fabulous and Make Truckloads of Money In The Process reads-”You will look at my curvy BUTT” Reduced to a blubbering, and very aroused mess, Landon doesn't have the sense to notice that Krista's booty grinding has been cut short and she's closing in on him with bull rush speed. Within seconds she scales to the top turnbuckles and her knees go into his chest for a lethal top rope KIDology! But, thanks to many panicked screams from Megan, Landon rejoins us in reality, and catches Krista's body within his arms. The audience gasps in panic, that worsens considerably as they watch La Cucaracha shift her onto his shoulders in a fire man's carry position. COLE A top rope Go 2 Sleep? That's what put out Christian Wright in the first round! COACH My man took out Moneymaker's best friend in the first round, and he gonna do the job on his worst enemy in the finals! “Holla atcha boy, I get money!” Landon screams to a horribly humiliated groan from Megan. Landon rises and so to does the booing of the Texans. He flashes them an evil grin before leaping forward and trying to swing Krista off his shoulders. That's when his plan goes array as Krista snakes her arms across his neck and pulverizes it against the canvas with an inverted DDT! The mood of the fans instantly shifts and they pour out a sustained roar for her counter. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH Damn, damn! If that'd hit Landon would've made history, Mikey. Two time Money In The Bank winner, first person to pin Krista one on one, and the man who got the SWF back on television with Da Coach lending his hip urban yet sophisticated style to their commentary booth. That incredible counter seems to have drained even more energy from Krista than Landon, as the Los Angeles native lies against the turnbuckle trying desperately to regain her fleeting breath. Thankfully there's minimal pressure put on her by Maddix, who has dragged his battered bones to the outside. He tries to discuss strategy with Megan, but given recent events is forced to explain to her that he's a man and he has needs. The subject of their bickering finally stirs, and advances onto the ring apron. This goes unnoticed by Maddix who screams like a child when she ambushes him with a flying forearm! COLE You do know the SWF has an announce team already correct? COACH Man, to hell with those no name herbs. Da Coach does it real b-i-g style. ESPN, WWF, OAOAST, I bring swagtastic magic wherever I may roam. Plus, I get away from you, and get paid handsomely to do so. Krista traces her tongue around her luscious red lips at Megan , and with her boyfriend still doing his childlike wailing, that's an offer The Perfect 10 seriously considers. Giving Megan some time to mull it over, KID grabs onto Maddix's stringy hair and guides him towards the Lithuanian (!) announce table. Her intention is to introduce his skull to hard wood, a meeting Landon wants no part of. Thus he overpowers her grip, and before she can fight back he throws her into the table. The audience boos as they see Krista's anguished face magnified on the big screen. Landon, however, is more than thrilled, and fluffs his hair in triumph. COLE You don't have to like Landon Maddix, I'm not even sure Megan does, but you have to admit he's as resilient, smart, and sneaky as any superstar in sports entertainment. Maddix strides forward with a confident swagger and snares Krista into a front facelock. He pulls her limp body away from the table, and with a hook onto her mini skirt, lifts her into the air. There's short pause by La Cucaracha to let the fans register her impending doom. Then he slams her stomach first across the announce table, sending the announcers scattering, and the fans recoiling in horror. Krista goes skidding off the table to the vacated chairs. They provide very minimal cushion but not enough for her preferences and they quickly dump her to the floor that feels so cold against her bare skin. “How are those six hundred dollar heels now, honey?” Landon snorts. “Oh, excuse me, honey, I meant eight hundred, how rude of me, honey!” Krista is in serious pain, and what would normally be grounds for murder, being mocked, is met with a weak grunt of defiance that Landon can barely hear. Back to fluffing his hair, Landon merrily skips to behind the announce desk where Krista's agony paints a picture of sadistic glee on his face. With his fingers wrapped through her golden hair, he scrapes her off the floor and leads her out in front of the table. He winds up, ready to deliver a knock out blow, but as his fist heads towards Krista she blocks it with a forearm. Wild cheers fill the arena, as Krista begins ripping apart his chest with knife edge chops! But the bliss of the audience is frustratingly short lived as Maddix ends her comeback with a rake of her bright blue eyes. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” COACH Like you said, he's resilient and he's smart! COLE He's also a cheap dirty bastard! As Krista is momentarily blinded she has no defense from Landon scooping her into the standing fireman's carry. The fans again go ballistic in booing for the G2S. But, Landon shocks them all by doing something far more deadly than his famous finisher; he throws Krista forward and lets her neck snap off the edge of the announce table! Krista's head spins, the blood pounds in her ears, and she lets out a heart wrenching shriek as she falls to the floor. COLE A modified G2S onto the announce table! What lengths won't this man go to win? COACH Why shouldn't he? He's got a half a million dollars waiting, a company depending on him, and a guaranteed world title shot. I'm out here trying to show the youngsters not to love these ho's, and you catching feelings off a lesbian bitch. That's foul. Adrenaline is pumping through Landon's body, and pure energy stalks him about the outside. Feeling nearly invincible, he shoves a camera guy out the way and climbs the ring steps to proclaim “You are in the presence of greatness! Bask in it, people! Bask in it!” “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Pain wracked and possibly concussed, Krista doesn't even think to fight back against Maddix as he drags her off the mats. He uses her mini skirt as a leash as he walks past hateful crowd members around the ring. Upon reaching his destination, he chucks KID into the steel steps. Her head crashes into the metal, and the pain is greater than any she's felt all match. Though she's possibly in need of medical attention, Maddix refuses to offer her a second to recuperate. He grabs back onto her skit and leads her off the mat. She sags within his grip, hardly having the strength to stay upright. She doesn't need to stand much longer however, as her rival throws her head into the steps once more. As she falls back to the ground the pain becomes so great she can no longer fashion sounds, and only croaks softly. Amused beyond all right by his carnage, Landon mocks Krista's vanity by checking himself out in an imaginary compact mirror. COLE For our SWF viewers watching this on Prelude To Grandeur I just want to assure you that not all of our referees are senile narcoleptic twits incapable of performing a countout and a disqualifcation. Only six of them are. Krista is shoved back into the ring by La Cucaracha. He buries his boot in the back of her head, then watches entertained as she struggles in vain to get to her feet. After she sinks back to the canvas, defeated by her misery, he rushes in and drops an elbow onto her head. The fans spew venom at him, which causes him to lean through the ropes and smile as disingenuous a smile as his lips can possibly form. COLE Why do I never fail to be disgusted and annoyed with Landon Maddix? COACH 'Cause you a bitch, duke. Nails dug into the mat, Krista crawls across the ring. She has no clue where she's going, but only knows that movement is the only thing that keeps her conscious. But, La Cucaracha stops her dead in her tracks with another running elbow to the head. As the pain from that blow sends shockwaves through her head, she wants to pass out. But, she's held awake by Landon sitting on top of her and holding her weary face out towards a booing crowd. “Awww what's the matter, Krista? Why so glum? Your mascara running?” Landon asks then chuckles to Megan. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Maddix picks Krista up, and uses her vibrant hair as a leash to lead her to the corner. His plan is to use the posts to beat her into an early retirement. But Krista blocks his first attempt, and draws a mighty cheer form the fans as she hammers Maddix's face into the posts. Enraged that he would even consider touching her supermodel features, she brutally ravages his visage against the ring posts. The only thing that stops her is a warning from the suddenly awake senior referee. Not bothering to argue with Clem, Krista rushes to the ropes, timing her return to catch Landon as he stumbles out the corner. Her ten million dollar legs leap into his chest in another try for the KIDology. But, Maddix is again up to task, and recovers enough of his strength to spine buster her to the ground! “BOOOOOO”hisses the audience as a hair fluffing Landon struts across the ring before coming back to assail Krista's head with his latest elbow drop. Assured that Krista's been sufficiently pummeled, he hooks her leg for what he dubs a “$500,000 pinfall” ONE! TWO! But, Krista somehow finds the strength she needs to kickout! “YEAAAAAA!” COACH Landon is so close, Mikey, so close to doing the unpredictable and defeating Krista Isadora Duncan. And who better to do it than him, the only man to hold both the SWF and OAOAST world championships? Maddix crouches over, eying down Krista with predatory intent, waiting for her to stand so he can strike. She rises weakly, unaware of the vicious maneuver the SWF Commissioner has in store for her. He exposes her to his master pla, by jumping into her with a front facelock and bringing her down with a body scissors. Hisses and jeers come down from every corner of the arena, as Landon loudly announces Krista imminent submission. COLE Wet Cement! Wet Cement! “Or Grand Theft Taamo” Megan remarks, confusing Cole and anyone's who never read an SWF show. Krista wants to clutch her head, her pounding ears, to punch Maddix, anything that will drive this ruinous pain out her skull. Her body is shot through with paralyzing agony, and almost as though he can sense it, Maddix breaks out with a demented smile. He looks almost satanic smiling that smile that grows wider as Krista's eyes explode in pain. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” “Tap! Tap, woman, tap!” Maddix screams. Landon's words of discouragement are drowned out by the sixty thousand in the crowd, urging Miss California to find the strength needed to break free of her foe's grip. But all she does is gasp and gurgle as Maddix's hold grows ever tighter. COLE We all know Krista's never lost a one on one match in her life, but she's never submitted period. Landon is a tap out away from two historic firsts and a guaranteed world title opportunity! Krista lies there gasping her every breath labored, each one coming harder than the one before it. Her head feels as though it were on fire, and her pulse thuds through her ears. Even with all this mounted against her, and Maddix begging her to submit, Krista hasn't lost the will to continue to fight. Her hands are free, and they hammer Landon's face with every ounce of strength they can possibly muster. At first they do little more than just give the depressed fans something to cheer for. But, as both of Landon's arms are occupied with her head, they soon begin to do damage to the Spanish import. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” the chants are more enthusiastic than before, in large part due to Landon's grip noticeably weakening. She continues to batter away at his face, never once stopping no matter how many times she feels her consciousness slipping away. Finally she strikes pay dirt, and a nasty punch across Landon's still sore nose causes him to break the hold and protect his face out of instinct. COLE And Krista is free, showing the same resolve Jade did to beat Malaysia earlier tonight! Maddix regains his footing, and his twisted grin is replaced by a twisted snarl. That anger drives him at Krista with arms raised in a polish hammer. However, she greets his arrival with spinning kick to his gut. His beat red chest is further mauled by rage fueled chops that enchant the audience. As Landon is left in a torturing haze, Krista rushes to the ropes and returns to bowl him over with a high flipping lariat! Just as soon as he touches the ground Miss California is back off the ropes and her lovely tan legs obliterate him with a crowd popping spinning wheel quick! Yet, Maddix gets up remarkably fast, and bum rushes Krissy with a lariat. Thankfully the beauty is prepared for his arrival and catches him with the Blonds Never Pay a Cover (Side Effect)! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Clutching onto his sore neck, Maddix uneasily rises to face his reenergized foe. But she's no where to be found, having made another trip to the cables. By the time Maddix gets a read on her, her bare legs are leaping into him for one more try at the KIDology. Again, Maddix sternly refuses to fall prey to the move and shoves her away. Although she lands on her feet, that's of small comfort to the fitness queen, and highly annoyed, she rumbles at Maddix in blind rage. That blind rage brings upon her downfall, as Maddix simply ducks low and lets her glide onto his shoulders in set up for the G2S! “BOOOOOOO!” COACH Here we go! Weakened by such a trying match, Maddix has a devil of a time keeping hold of Krista's baby oil soaked body and she succeeds in gliding down his back to her freedom. But its freedom that doesn't last for more than a few seconds before the OAOAST's "Savior" shocks her with a stunner! Krista timbers back to the canvas like a mini skirted tree, and the wrathful audience assaults Maddix with jeers. While he attempts to win the audience to his side with more hair fluffing, Krista rolls to the ring apron to try and still the throbbing headache that nearly cripples her. Only mere seconds later her time to recover is interrupted by Landon taking hold of her hair. He lifts her up and snags her into a front facelock. Almost immediately she tries to break out his bonds, but his strength is too great for her and he extends her body forward to leave her draped over the ropes. A quick victory nod to Megan comes before La Cucaracha DDT's his popular foe into the canvas! With his arms still tied like a noose around his neck, he rolls her upright and then strikes her with a second DDT! She's puddy within his grip as he brings her up again for a third and final DDT. The fans say a little prayer that their girl can pull through, as Maddix rolls her over for a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Miss California sends the capacity crowd into a frenzy by shooting her shoulder off the mat just in time to keep the MITB briefcase out of Landon's possession. COACH Landon is close, Mikey, cause every move that targets her head gets him a little closer to hitting that G2S. And when he hits that move its a over for Krissy. Or "its a wrap" as she says in Hollywood. COLE He has to hit the move first. I think we're in double digits for missed finishers! Landon gets to his feet and stalks across the ring awaiting his foe to stand. As she slowly begins to stir, he begins dripping with malice and rage. The ropes help her to feet, but her confused state forces her into the waiting arms of Maddix who hoists her up for his latest G2S effort! But, Krista again slithers down his front, and before this even has a second to settle in his mind, she's dropkicking him in the chest! Her powerful legs launch him clear across the ring where's he tangled in the ropes, almost a sitting duck for the GLAADiator. She lets out a roar worthy of a gladiator then stampedes towards her rival. Yet, Maddix isn't nearly as incapacitated as she believed, and she's exposed to this chilling fact when he ducks to the ground, bringing the top rope with him. Incapable of hitting the breaks on time, Krissy is thrown from the ring! Like a crippled leather bound bird she falls, letting out a long terrified scream before splattering onto the outside mats. The audience reacts with cringes and cries, not knowing if the feisty Californian can take any more punishment. For his part Landon tries to win them over and screams, “Look at all this Madnificence! You know you want it! You know you love the Madnificence!” “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” COLE Did he say Madnificence? Do you really want this man on TV twice a week? You'd have Amnesty International protesting the TSM offices for crimes against humanity. Hearing Krista's cries beneath the bile of the audience, Landon senses blood in the water and quickly departs the ring. He rushes to Krista's location, wanting to get there before she recover even a smidgen of her strength. With his hand wrapped around her skimpy vest top he hauls her off the mat. Then he whips her towards the steel steps with such incredible force he himself falls to the ground. Miss California is rammed head first into the metal, completely dislodging the steps and sending worried gasps from the mouthes of the fans. Their concern isn't eased any as she rolls over onto her back, face totally void of any life. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” COACH When Landon Maddix gets back to the SWF lockeroom, every one in there better stand up and praise him as a leader, and a hero because my man is going all out here tonight to make their world a better place to live. COLE He's ramming a single mother of two who weighs over fifty pounds less than him into steel steps. He's a great American hero. He makes John Wayne look like a member of the Taliban. Maddix roughly yanks her upright and deposits her back into the ring. He quickly scampers inside himself, where he hooks her leg for a crucial pin fall... ONE! TWO! Krista hauls her shoulder off the canvas at the last possible second, and the fans rejoice with more chants of her name. While Megan reacts with total disbelief at Krista's escape, Landon only shrugs his shoulders in cool arrogance. But, his girlfriend can't match his unshakable confidence and hastily begins barking orders. “You've got to try the Go 2 Sleep!” She shouts. “Instead of being miss negative all the time,” Krista comments “Why don't you be miss help a playa out by jumping onto the apron and taking off your top to distract Krista?” Enraged that Krista can even formulate a complete sentence, much less solicit his girlfriend, Maddix bum rushes wrestling's favorite lesbian cougar. But Krista meets his arrival with an elbow that sends him staggering backwards. Landon's moment of incapacitation gives her all the time she needs to springboard off the second rope and strike him with an enziguri! As the spectator toss humongous cheers in the air, a lifeless Maddix flops to the floor, and Krista begins fluffing her wonderful hair. One might assume she's mocking him, but given how narcissistic she is that's highly doubtful. COLE Well, Megan and Landon always have a plan, its just sometimes Landon isn't quite smart enough to follow it. Krista skedaddles outside the ring and ventures towards the top rope. She provides the money in the bank match a true money shot by reaching the top in the most bent over way possible. Megan, realizing, that such an attack could spell doom for her beau and the SWF rushes onto the apron to distract Krista. Annoyed, Miss California wonders why she's wasting her time if she's not topless or planning on getting topless. The answer of course is that her distraction allows Landon to scamper up to Krista's position. He begins hammering Krista with forearms to the throat, as the fans hold their collective breath out of fear. After several strikes hit home it appears their fears may be realized as Maddix is now able to wrap her left arm across hid right. The noise of the audience grows louder, as they desperately urge Krissy to fight off Maddix's attack. Not one to disappoint her fanbase, Krista counters by cursing Landon with an indescribable pain brought on by the Blue Ball Special (testicular claw). Or does she? Krista gropes and gropes, and seemingly comes up empty handed. She tries again and again, hoping to strike pay dirt, but has no luck. Finally she shrugs her free shoulder and shouts out there's nothing there! “BALLLESS WONDER! BALLLESS WONDER! BALLESS WONDER!” “I have balls!” Landon whines. “I have balls the size of California!” “You have balls the shape of a sock?” Krista wonders. “No, the size! Shape refers to the external form or appearance, whereas size is the relative dimensions or magnit...look, just feel my balls, okay? Just feel them! I derive no pleasure from it! I swear!” Wrong thing to say, my friend. Krista angrily shoves her would be sexual harasser off the ropes. Even though he comes down on his feet, that's of little use to him as Krista puts him on the ground and wows the crowd with a shooting star press! Landon is left on dream street, exhausted, humiliated, and on the verge of defeat. All things he promised wouldn't happen to him against the walk of famer. He lies face down the mat, barely able to hear the words of encouragement Megan shouts at him. COLE That just connected perfectly with Landon's chest! Is this the end for Landon Maddix? COACH Son, you musta lost it! I wanna know what you been smokin on to think that. Landon thrives in high pressure matches, this is just another day at the office for him Hunching over to await Maddix's rise, Krista treats the audience to another bootylicious view. And when La Cucaracha rises she rushes forward to treat him to an induction into the church of KIDology! But, yet again, Landon refutes her efforts and jostles her away. She falls back on her feet, but hasn't time to prepare herself before Maddix astonishes her and the crowd with a KIDology of his own! COLE Landon Maddix hit the KIDology! I don't believe it! Even Landon himself seems surprised to have accomplished what Krista's failed at all match, and he beams a smile brought on by a euphoric high. As the audience boos his stealing of Krista finisher, he covers her body. ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out, a great shock to an audience that resigned themselves to an inevitable second world title run from Maddix. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Though mortally exhausted, both competitors find the will and the strength within them to head to their feet. Their only motivator is the briefcase resting in Terry Taylor's lap. For the moment its Landon who seems to want it more as he slashes his boots into Krista's heavily insured legs. As she's weak on her feet, he runs the ropes, preparing to strike her with a shining wizard when he returns. But when he reaches Miss California, she lowers her body and captures him onto her shoulders. Maddix shrieks in horror, and the audience pops huge, neither one noticing Krista is barely able to support his two hundred eight pounds. Thankfully for her and the fans, her legs hold up long enough for her to crush him with his Go 2 Sleep! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE Go 2 Sleep Landon Maddix, your money in the bank dreams have just turned into a nightmare! Landon's body contracts and convulses on the ground, and he screams in pain; its quite the spectacular image to a woman who's tried so desperately to put him away. She hooks his leg, and all of the Alamo Dome counts along. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Maddix kicks out, and the fans are infuriated! They blast the referee for not making a quicker count, and Maddix for even managing to pull through his dangerous finisher. Krista decides to let the voices of her sixty thousand closest friends deal with the ref, and gets to her feet to deal with Maddix. “BOOOOOO!”holler the audience, their attention shifting from Buzzlefoxer and Maddix to the man who trots down the entry ramp. Its Landon's loyal lackey, James Blonde, clad in a SWF Prelude To Grandeur t-shirt. But perhaps a more troubling concern to Krista's legion of fans is that Megan Skye through a swift kick to the skull has forcibly removed the cash filled briefcase from Terry's possession. Taylor tries his hardest to recover the briefcase, but Megan will have none of that and stomps him down. COACH Terry, you're a two hundred plus pound former wrestler and you just got bullied by a one hundred twenty pound woman. If she loses this match, Krista is gonna have yo ass hanging from rafters by meathooks. Hollering a torrent of profanities at Krista, The Trendsetter reaches the apron in one graceful leap. His cruel words draw the attention of the hot headed Californian, while Megan draws the attention of Buzzlefoxer. Although he's standing mere inches away from her, his god awful sight lets her sneak the half a million dollar briefcase to the waiting hands of her boyfriend. COLE Megan gave Landon the briefcase and she has Clem distracted! Turn around, Krista! Indeed that would be a prudent action, as Landon is wielding the briefcase like a battering ram and charging towards Krista. But, as he's only a few inches away from dashing her world title hopes, the SoCal babe turns away from Blonde and catches his leader with the KIDology! Hands held onto the briefcase, Maddix hasn't any way of shoving Krista away this time. He finally experiences the horrific pain he's avoided all night long and his jaw and chest are brought directly into the hard surface of the case! A roar that's both a mixture of excitement and relief rushes through the stands at the sight of Landon flopping over to the mat. COLE Krista hit it! She finally hit the KIDology! With Megan's skin turning a shade of milky white and her body on the verge of fainting, Krista hooks her man's leg for a pivotal pinfall. At the urging of sixty thousand screaming wrestling nerds, Buzzlefoxer scores the fall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! COACH Kickout, Landon! You gotta kickout! CROWD THREE! And with that three count comes an outpouring of mammoth cheers from the sold out crowd, everyone on their feet, celebrating as if they themselves just saw the culmination of a grueling two month tournament. MGMT's Electric Feel just adds to the wonderful festive atmosphere. On the outside, Terry Taylor can breath the greatest sigh of relief of his life, because after all being hung by your ass from meathooks probably hurts. BUFFER The winner of the sixteen person Money In The Bank Tournament, and half a million dollars of Theodore Moneymaker's money....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COLE Ladies and gentlemen, Krista Isadora Duncan has done it! On the night that Little Miss California has become the women's champion, Miss California has become Miss Money In The Bank! What a day for the Duncan girls! COACH Mister Moneymaker, if you're watching I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Indeed Theodore Moneymaker is watching, as we cut backstage to his dressing room and find his head buried in his hands in an infinite sorrow, and Mackenzie struggling to find the words to comfort him. Back in the ring, Megan cradles Landon in her arms, her lips brushing her sweat soaked skin, her long fingers caressing his withered face. Though motionless, Landon is very much awake his eyes hardened by the loss, his heart keenly aware of the emptiness left behind by the future that was taken away from him. Elsewhere Blonde heaps plea after plea upon Buzzlefoxer to rescind his ruling and call for a disqualification of Krista. There's nothing to be done, however, and his idol is just another name in the long list of people to fall victim to Krista. COLE Landon Maddix promised he'd repeat as Mister Money In The Bank, he promised he'd win the half a million dollars, he promised he'd return the SWF back to television, and he promised to do the unpredictable. But, La Cucaracha, tonight belongs to Krista Isadora Duncan, and that's oh so predictable! Krista is the happiest she's ever been in the OAOAST. Though that's not saying much, it does say something when she joyously falls into Terry Taylor's arms with her only intention being to celebrate with him and not belly to belly suplex him. TT feels as much bliss as she does, and enthusiastically returns her hug. As she's handed the briefcase that helped her so, delight and glow in her eyes. Winded and panting, she rises to the top turnbuckles. She beams an exhilarated grin with the briefcase clutched against her chest, and the audience and Terry showing their love with a massive ovation. $$$MONEY IN THE BANK 2008 WINNER$$$ ***KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN***