Tony149

DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND ZERO HOUR SUNDAY NIGHT, SEPTEMBER 28 LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW! We cut backstage, where Terry Taylor and Tony Brannigan are standing by. TAYLOR What an awesome event that should be Sunday night, September 28. But joining me right now, the man General Manager Josie Baker selected to be the special troubleshooting referee in tonight's handicap match pitting The Usual Suspects against Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly. And Tony Brannigan, I don't know how to say this, but there's some uncertainty as to whether or not you can be trusted after you seemingly accepted-- BRANNIGAN Wait a minute, Terry. I take exception to you accusing me of taking a bribe. As the old saying goes, you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. While Theodore Moneymaker is family, I consider Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez friends. Yeah cousin Teddy stuffed a couple dollar bills in my suit pocket... TAYLOR A couple dollar bills!? I'd say it was more like a couple hundred dollar bills. BRANNIGAN Either way, it's chump change to a guy like me. That's why I couldn't possibly be on the take. My job here tonight is real simple: to make sure we have a winner. Whichever team loses will only have themselves to blame. TB exits. TAYLOR That does it from here. Let's go back to the ring.

Cut backstage, where Vinny Valentine and Biff Atlas sit in their locker room. VINNY Yo Biffster, it's about time to get Magic like a Johnson! You with us? Vinny sprinkles some stuff onto his index finger, and raises it up to Biff's face, which causes Biff to back away. BIFF I don't do that stuff, Vinny! Biff opens the door, just as Tony is taking a swig of vodka, and hits Tony, causing him to spill some on his shirt. TONY ASSHOLE! YOU MADE ME SPILL! BIFF Well, ex-cuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! TONY I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK! Biff walks out of the room, and Tony walks in, followed by the Burrough Boys and a gang of other wrestlers. Vinny and the BB's exchange pleasantries, and everyone begins to get in the festive mood, as we go back to the ring. DING DING DING!~!~ BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen! Our next match is a SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE, NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH! And is for the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!" CUE: "Bird Flu" by M.I.A. -The cheers are off the charts as their new favorite song kicks up, signaling the entrance of the special guest referee, Evelyn Maguire! The saloon doors swing open, and out she walks, looking very attractive in her short black shorts, knee high boots, and referee striped shirt. D-d-d-d-d-damn! She smirks as she stops just in front of the doors, looking out at the fans. She then begins her walk down the aisle, hands on her hips the entire way down. BUFFER "Entering First! Hailing from Galway, Ireland, but residing in Boston, Massachusetts...THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREEEEEEE.....EVELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYN....MAAAAAAAAAGUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRE EEE!!! COLE Evelyn Maguire is in a tough spot here tonight, Coach! She has to referee the match between her flesh and blood, her brother, Colin Maguire, Jr. and her new BOYFRIEND, the Intercontinental Champion -The cheers grow louder as Evelyn slowly steps into the ring. She paces about, exchanging friendly words with Buffer. CUE: "The Rocky Road to Dublin" by The Young Dubliners -The cheers turn immediately into boos as the lights begin flashing green, gold, and orange. The saloon doors open slowly, revealing The Irish Golden Boy, Colin Maguire, Jr., clad in his traditional black hooded track suit. He jogs slowly past the saloon doors before stopping. He hops side to side, smirking out at the fans, before jogging down to the ring. BUFFER "Introducing first, the challenger...from Boston, Massachusetts...he weighs in at Two Hundred and Fifteen Pounds...THE IRISH GOLDEN BOY...COLIN! MAAAAAAAAAAGUUUIIIIIIIIRREEEEE....JUUUUUUUUUNIOOOOOOOORR!!" -The boos intensify as CMJ slides into the ring, unzipping his track suit and unsnapping his track suit bottoms as he stands to reveal a dark gold singlet, four leaf clover smack dab in the middle. He tosses the clothes to his sister, who just stands there and glares, letting the clothes fall to the mat. CMJ smirks as he continues warming up, anxiously watching the entrance way. COLE CMJ looks to be completely focused on the task at hand here, Coach. COACH Well, duh! In all my years of in ring experience, I ha - COLE Waitwaitwait...what in-ring experience? COACH ...I have found that if you aren't 100% focused on the match once you walk through that curtain - or in this case, saloon doors - then you have a 0% chance of winning the damn thing. COLE That's great, but what in-ring experience are you talking about? COACH ....The lights are dimming! CUE: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs -The cheers grow insane as CMJ glares at the entrance way, a look of pure hatred. CMJ beckons towards it, smiling a sadistic smile as he does. Suddenly, the cheers amplify! Someone slides into the ring, carrying a title belt...It's - COLE JEREME GREY! COACH LOOK OUT, JUNIOR! -Jereme stands quickly, clutching at the title belt. A sadistic look glimmers in his eyes as he stalks CMJ, who scoffs at the entrance way. He waves his hand at it and turns slowly...WHAM!!! The fans erupt as Jereme's title belt nails CMJ right in between the eyes! CMJ rolls about in pain, clutching at his head as Jereme stands, tossing the belt to Evelyn. Evelyn catches it and hands it to Buffer as she signals for the bell to ring. DING DING DING! COLE And the match is underway, I guess! COACH That French snake! -Jereme drops down and covers CMJ! Evelyn drops down... ONE!! TWO!! THREENOJEREMEBROKEUPHISOWNPINATTEMPT!~ -Evelyn sits up, looking at her boy. "What the hell, babe?!" she says, but Jereme ignores her. Jereme stands quickly, grabbing CMJ by his now bloodied head. Jereme stands him up, pushing the Irishman into the corner. Jereme steps back...WHAM! A huge knee connects with CMJ's gut. Jereme rears back again...and ANOTHER big knee connects. Jereme grabs ahold of CMJ's wrist, pulling him out of the corner. Jereme goes to Irish whip him, but holds on, pulling CMJ back towards him...WHAMCRASH!~ COLE A HUGE clothesline takes out CMJ! COACH That DAMN French Snake! -Jereme smirks as he picks up CMJ again, this time standing behind him. Jereme wraps his arms around Junior's waist...and lifts!! CRASH!! The fans erupt as CMJ clutches at his neck, the massive German suplex doing what it was made to do. Jereme, however, doesn't let go. Instead, he slowly stands again, dragging CMJ along with him. Jereme lifts again...CRASH!! The fans groan as CMJ goes lifeless, courtesy of another German suplex. Once again, Jereme stands, dragging CMJ along with him. COLE If he hits the Un, Deux, Trois, this match could be as good as over! -Jereme smirks, just before repositioning his arms under CMJ's, pulling them up into a Dragon Suplex position. Jereme once again lifts...CRASH!~! CMJ's neck folds like a card table, and Jereme holds on for the pin! Evelyn drops! ONE!! TWO!! THRNO!~WHATTEHFUCK!~PWNAGEOFTEHN00BS!~ COLE CMJ BARELY kicked out! COACH HA! You dumb French snake! -Jereme sits slowly, glancing at Evelyn, who holds up two fingers. He shakes his head as he stands, grabbing CMJ by his well-bloodied hair. Jereme drags him towards the ropes, resting Junior's throat across the second rope. Jereme slowly saunters over to the opposite end of the ring and turns, glaring at his sworn enemy. COLE What could Jereme Grey be planning here? COACH What ever it is, I bet it's snakey...and French. -Jereme waits for a few moments while he looks out at the crowd, who chant his name. He smiles...AND TAKES OFF! Jereme runs towards the CMJ's prone corpse. Jereme leaps into the air...BUT CMJ ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! The fans groan as Jereme's crotches himself on the second rope. CMJ stands quickly, running towards the opposite ropes. He rebounds, and charges full speed ahead towards Jereme. CMJ dives...WHAM!! A huge spear connects, sending both men out of the ring to the mats below! Jereme clutches at his ribs as he struggles to breath, while CMJ holds his right shoulder. Cue the "Holy shit" chants! COLE An AMAZING spear from Colin Maguire, Jr.! Both men are out! COACH It's all because CMJ is focused entirely on this match, Cole! He doesn't have a distraction like Evelyn Maguire is to Jereme Grey. CMJ is the NEW IC champ, Mike. Mark my words. -CMJ slowly stands, causing the fans to boo a little. He slowly trudges towards the announce booths, still clutching at his right shoulder. He points at Buffer, who in turn stands from his chair. CMJ grabs it and turns, just in time to see Jereme getting to one knee. COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. has a chair, Jereme Grey has injured ribs...I smell a disaster, Coach! COACH I can smell championship gold, Mike! And that's ONLY because CMJ is standing upwind from us! -Jereme stands slowly, holding his ribs tight, just as CMJ lifts the chair high above his head. CMJ swings downward...BUT JEREME BARELY DODGES! CMJ glares at Jereme, who leans against the apron. CMJ swings once again...BUT JEREME DUCKS! The chair hits the second rope and bounces back, hitting CMJ right in the face! CMJ drops to the mats, clutching at his bloody face. Jereme slowly picks up the chair, the pain in his ribs slowly subsiding as he paces around CMJ, who slowly gets to his knees. Jereme lifts the chair...and brings it down hard across the back of Colin Maguire, Jr.! Colin screams in pain as he clutches at his back, just as Jereme rears the chair back...NO! Jereme clutches at his croissants and drops the chair, courtesy of a low blow from CMJ. COACH THAT sticks it to both Jereme Grey AND Evelyn! Ha! -CMJ fumbles for the chair as he stands. Jereme slowly gets to a knee as CMJ unfolds the chair and sets it down, back facing away from Jereme. CMJ walks slowly towards Jereme and grabs his hair, picking him up. CMJ grabs ahold of Jereme's wrist and whips him towards the announcement booth, but stops short, still holding on. CMJ pulls the other way, sending Jereme towards the chair, and CMJ drops down! He wraps his feet around Jereme's ankle...CRASH!! The fans groan as Jereme's head bounces off the chair, a loud yell exiting his lungs as he clutches at his forehead. CMJ stands triumphantly, smirking at the booing fans. He wipes some blood away from his forehead and flings it at Jereme. COLE An incredible drop-toe-hold onto a chair from CMJ, Colin Maguire, Jr.! He could have the match won here! -CMJ slowly grabs Jereme by the hair and picks him up, giving the fans a glimpse at Jereme's now-bloodied head. CMJ slowly slides Jereme into the ring and follows close behind. Evelyn shakes her head slowly as Jereme drops and covers. Evelyn slowly drops... ONE!! TWO!! THNO!~ Jereme's shoulder barely raises off the mat. CMJ glares at his sister, who raises two fingers right in front of CMJ's face. Junior stands quickly, trying hard to intimidate his sister, who mockingly acts scared. CMJ shakes his head and points at her, before turning to Jereme Grey. CMJ slowly grabs Jereme by his now bloody blonde hair and stands him up, just before whipping him into the opposite corner. Jereme hits hard chest first, causing the frenchman to back up a bit...WHAM!! Jereme once again clutches at his ribs as he rolls out of the ring, courtesy of the "Wicklow" Express (the Elijah Express...whoooo). CMJ smirks as he steps out of the ring next to Jereme. Jereme drops a few boots to the back of Jereme's head, before reaching underneath the ring. He fumbles around for a few seconds before producing.... COACH A Garbage Can! Exactly what Jereme Grey's wrestling style reminds me of!...Garbage. -CMJ smirks once again as he slowly stands, turning to show the fans the trash can. He slowly turns to Jereme Grey, who continues to hold his ribs as he lifts himself to a knee. CMJ rears the trash can back...and swings...NO! Jereme quickly stands and jumps, delivering a dropkick straight into the trashcan, which in turn hits CMJ in the face! The fans erupt as CMJ slowly falls backward. Jereme hits the mats with a thud, which causes the IC champ to let out a huge groan as he once again clutches at his ribs. COLE Jereme Grey with a GREAT desperation move! A Van Jeremator, if you will! COACH I won't. That was reaaaaaaally dumb. -Moments pass as both men lie on the mats, and it is Jereme Grey who begins to stir first. Jereme slowly gets to a knee as CMJ begins to stir. Jereme is now standing. He shakes his head as he stumbles back, watching CMJ slowly get to his feet. Jereme watches and waits, waiting for the right opportunity. CMJ slowly turns, and Jereme takes off! Jereme ducks under a desperation clothesline and hops up onto the steel steps. Without a moments waste, Jereme hurls himself backward, flipping in the air! COLE MOONSAULT!?! -...but CMJ catches him! With a loud yell, CMJ runs towards the ring post...BUT JEREME SLIPS AWAY! CMJ barely hops over the steel steps. He stops on a dime and turns...JUST IN TIME to see Jereme Grey vaulting from the steel steps! Jereme swings his leg...WHAM!! Jereme stumbles as he lands on his feet, but CMJ falls back, clutching at his crimson face. The HUGE Shining Wizard connects! COLE Shades of his second cousin-in-law, Austin "Ragdoll" Baker! A vaulting Devil Doll!! COACH Jereme Grey WISHES he could hit that move with the same force as Ragdoll! Don't even TRY and compare the two, Mike! -Jereme, showing signs of tiredness, slowly grabs CMJ by the hair and lifts him to a standing position. He grabs a hold of his wrist and whips him towards the ring, where CMJ hits with a nasty thud. Jereme suddenly turns his attention to under the ring, where he is now rummaging. COLE What could Jereme be looking for? COACH You know, you ask that EVERY TIME! You've seen just as many matches as I have, and we BOTH know that there are five things under that ring that have NO place being there: chairs, trash cans, tables, ladders, and little midgets dressed as leprechauns. And since we at the OAOAST don't have anything like that last one, then take your fuckin' pick at the other four. COLE ... -Jereme suddenly backs out from under the ring, revealing...A LITTLE MIDG...I mean...A TABLE! The fans go wild as Jereme slides it into the ring, just before grabbing CMJ and sliding him in as well. Jereme hops up onto the apron as CMJ slowly stands. Almost immediately, Jereme slingshots himself onto the top rope, and leaps! CMJ turns AND LEAPS AS WELL! CMJ catches Jereme...CRASH!! SLÁN AGUS BEANNACHT LEAT!! The fans erupt in boos as Jereme clutches the back of his neck. CMJ lies motionless, the SABLe taking a lot of him. COLE The SABLe has connected! GOODBYE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU! COACH Yes! Just turn over, CMJ! Cover him! Cover him! -The fans rise and boo as both men lie motionless on the mat, and for a few moments, it seems like no-one is even breathing. Evelyn paces around, her eyes locked on CMJ, who slowly begins to stir. He slowly...sloooooowly rolls over... AND DRAPES AN ARM! Evelyn drops and counts, the fans counting along... ONE!! TWO!! TWO AND HALF!!! THREE! NO!~! The cheers are insane as Jereme raises his shoulder, just as Evelyn's hand is inches away from the mat! CMJ rolls over slowly, covering his face with his hands. COLE Jereme Grey BARELY got his shoulder up, Coach! We ALMOST had a new champion! COACH Jesus...that almost gave me a heart attack... -CMJ gathers his bearings and stands slowly, clutching at his neck, just as Jereme begins to stir. CMJ glances around the ring until he spies the table! CMJ smirks as he steps past Jereme, kicking him in the head as he does. CMJ grabs the table and lifts it. He turns around, unfolding the legs as Jereme slowly stands. CMJ sets down the table and hops over it, grabbing Jereme by the head. WHAM! The fans erupt as CMJ reels back, taking a brutal punch from Jereme. WHAM! Another punch connects, sending CMJ back again...Jereme rears back once again and swings...But CMJ ducks! Jereme spins slightly...AND CMJ LEAPS! COLE D-STREET CUTTER?! -CMJ reaches out for Jereme's head, but Jereme continues spinning, slapping CMJ's arm away! CMJ hits the mat hard, causing him to jump up, clutching his back, which is turned towards Jereme... COBRA CLUTCH IS LOCKED IN!! The fans erupt as CMJ struggles to escape from the submission, just as Jereme steps to the side a little...vines the leg...falls forward... CRACKCRASHBREAK!~~!~! COLE SHUTTER!! JEREME GREY HIT THE SHUTTER THROUGH THE TABLE!!! -The cheers are off the charts as CMJ clutches at his face, all while Jereme clutches at his ribs. Jereme, knowing this is his opportunity, spins CMJ onto his back...AND COVERS!! EVELYN DROPS!! ONE TWO THREE!! DING DING DING!!! -The cheers are deafening as "Rockers to Swallow" hits the PA system! Evelyn stands and jumps for joy as Jereme rolls away from CMJ, exhausted. Evelyn rushes towards the ropes, just as Buffer hands her the Intercontinental Title. BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen...yoooour winner...and STILL...the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!....JEREEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!" -Evelyn rushes towards her boyfriend as he struggles to sit up. She wraps her arm around his shoulders and lifts him slowly, placing the IC title on his lap. A small smile appears through the drying blood on his face as he looks at it. COLE Tables, chairs, title belts, Garbage cans...this has been a WAR...and Jereme Grey is STILL the OAOAST Intercontinental Champion, Coach! COACH COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR WAS CHEATED! Evelyn did a FAST three count! He didn't even get the CHANCE to kick out! I smell a rat! I smell a big damn rat here, Cole! And I hate the smell! -Jereme slowly rolls out of the ring, followed closely by Evelyn, leaving CMJ lying motionless in the middle of the shattered table. Evelyn keeps Jereme propped up as the two slowly walk down the aisle. Cut backstage, where Reject talks with Alfdogg. REJECT Things are crazy around here! I've got announcers attacking me, Josie sticking mystery opponents in on us...what's going on here? I'm sick of getting disrespected like this. Alf takes his time to respond. ALF I know how you feel, R-Man. And I'm sick of it, too. REJECT I mean, why isn't the message getting across? No matter what we do. And then Bohemoth goes and tears some girl's dress up a little bit, and he's all over the news, people coming out of the woodwork to make excuses for him. ALF Well, to be fair, he did RAPE a girl. That's probably deserving of some coverage. *crowd boos* ALF But I get your point. REJECT I mean, it's like no one pays attention to the Deadly Alliance anymore. ALF Hey. Alf turns and looks at Reject. ALF Don't worry about it. Okay? I know the night's not going well for us...but people will take notice of the Deadly Alliance again. And it starts TONIGHT. Alf looks at Reject, and gives a sly grin as he walks off, which Reject reciprocates. *back to Sofa Central* COLE What does he mean by that? COACH I don't know, but you can bet it'll be something to remember coming from Alf and the Deadly Alliance!

Looks like we're going to need more than a day to get this show up, so yeah, it'll probably be a while before it's up.

You know we're on a roll when a show with only 1 match still rocks. Immediately we kick off the show with a major development. Mature stuff. Maybe a teen pregnancy angle is next. Who knows? at Leon's response to D*LUX thinking they were about to join the In Crowd. The duet line was clever, and I got a kick out of Leon's reaction towards seeing Jade in her new attire, even if we didn't actually see it -- or read it -- till later. Holly vs. Jade: Man, was this great. Enjoyed every paragraph of it. Get it? Yeah. Awesome. Give Alix an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Goddamn, that MD musical performance brought a tear to my eye. Hilarious shit from the mind of Patty O'Green. Wild DA segment with PR getting involved after Reject attacks Maggie. Cole's explaination as to why nobody bothered to move the forklift was a thing of beauty. Funny segment w/TT, the BB and PATD. I can't remember the last time Krista got beatdown like she did after her debate with Maddix. MOTN: Holly(Wood) Mann vs. Jade Rodez QOTS: Around the ring runs Alix, pondering why nobody in the crowd seems to have joined in her game of Duck, Duck, Goose and pondering further on seeing Jade has turned the tide of the match. Holly staggers out of the corner and Ally starts calling a play to Jade. Seriously, she produces a clipboard from nowhere with her play drawn up with pink Xs and Os. Unfortunately the play means nothing to anybody except Alix and Jade is forced to improvise. She calls Holly to a halt, warning her that her shoe is untied. Naturally worried about falling on her face and making a show of herself, Holly looks down at her feet... and Jade slaps her in the back of the head. HOLLY Ow! What the hell was that for? JADE Was that embarrassing? HOLLY Yeah, kinda. JADE Oh... well, uh, good.

Backstage, the Burrough Boys are preparing some illegal drugs. MARIANO Yo dog, you think we got lit Thursday, y'all jus' wait 'til later tonight! It's gon' be off the HOOK! The phone rings, and Luther puts it on speaker. LUTHER 'Sup? VINNY VALENTINE (doing a gritty voice) Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Judo is what you use to make bagels! WALDO ...nigga what? VINNY Sucka, yo momma's so black, when she steps in the car, the oil light goes on! LUTHER Nigga, Ima' bout ta protest yo' ass with a King Cobra and a Nigga Chaser! VINNY Hold up boy, don't get salty on me! It's your man Vinny! WALDO Aw, right on! Y'all ready for tonight? VINNY Hell yeah! You got that shit ready! QUINCY You know it, baby! VINNY All right, once again it's on like Donkey Kong! WALDO Yeeeah. Suddenly, Tony Tourettes bursts through the door, with Jumbo right on his tail. TONY GET YOU BALONEY TITS AWAY FROM ME! FATASS! All four Burrough Boys jump up in front of Jumbo, and eventually calm him down. MARIANO Yo dog, this our boy right 'chea! He ain't mean nothin', it's every man fo' hisself! LUTHER Here, try some'a dis shit! Luther runs a joint under Jumbo's nose, and the big guy smells what the boys are cookin, and starts to laugh along with them. Sweet Lucius Soul then opens the door. LUCIUS Is this the 5 o'clock free crack giveaway? MARIANO Naw nigga, we got da chronic right 'chea! Our boy V2's gonna have the white shit later, you feel me? LUCIUS Word! You know me an' Rico's in on that shit! MARIANO A'ight! Later tonight! Lucius shuts the door. MARIANO I told y'all this shit's gonna be off the hook! Waldo spots Tony chugging a large bottle of vodka, and snatches it from him. WALDO 'Ay dawg, leave some for all of us! TONY FUCK YOU! KISS MY ASS! BITCH! SUCK MY DICK! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK LIKE THE BLACK TELETUBBIES! Tony leaves the room, as the stunned Burrough Boys look on. Tony sees a waiter pushing a cart with various food and another bottle of vodka on it, and, rather than just grab the bottle like a composed liquor thief would, Tony instead shoves the poor guy hard to the floor from the side, knocking over his entire cart, then picks up the bottle. TONY See, I got more! The Burrough Boys laugh with Tony and Jumbo, patting Tony on the back as the camera cuts back to ringside. COLE And coming up next, the World tag team titles, on the line! Tables, ladders, and chairs, and you heard Josie Baker hint that there would be a fourth team in this match! COACH This is not right, Cole, sticking a fourth team in there on TK & Reject with just an hour or so notice! The main camera zooms in slowly, getting a shot of the World tag team title belts hanging over the ring. COLE And there you see the belts hanging high above the ring, the only way to win is to climb the ladder and grab the belts! "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" by Lupe Fiasco plays, and the Beverly Hills Blonds make their way through the curtains. BUFFER The following contest is a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, for the OAOAST World tag team championhsip! The only way to win is to climb the ladder, and retrieve the title belts hanging above the ring! Coming to the ring at this time...from Beverly Hills, California, at a combined weight of 460 pounds...representing the Enterprise...the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON...THE BEVERLYYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS S BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And both of the challengers with scores to settle in this match with the champions, Thunderkid and Reject! You remember it was a little over three weeks ago when Reject hospitalized Molly Nerdly following a match, and then of course this past week, the heinous attack on a close friend of D*LUX, Maggie Nerdly! The Blonds slide in, and Ned flirts with some females ringside as Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 hits, bringing D*LUX to the ring amidst the sound of screaming females. BUFFER Hailing from Detroit and Auburn Hills, Michigan, respectively, at a total combined weight of 379 pounds...the team of Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant...DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * LLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Shayne and Tyler stand at ringside and look up at the belts in the air, then climb into the ring and pose on the buckles. They then exchange trash talk with the Blonds, as by Kansas hits, and boos fill the arena, as the lights go out and the entryway is filled with yellow strobes and smoke. Thunderkid and Reject emerge through the smoke cloud, coming to a stop and looking towards the ring. BUFFER At a total combined weight of 485 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance, they are the OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...The team of THHHHHHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! TK and Reject slowly walk to the ring, then climb in as their music continues to play, and Josie Baker walks into the entryway. JOSIE OK boys...I told you earlier you were going to have three opponents tonight. Now, normally, I don't like these last-minute surprises...but I think these two guys really deserve a spot on this show...a spot that you two attempted to steal from them! COACH Who? JOSIE And what better match, than a Tables, Ladders and chair's match, to bring back this exciting tag team, your third opponents for the World tag team titles? As Josie is finishing her sentence, Shine by Collective Soul hits, and the fans go NUTS! COLE HEY! COACH Oh, you gotta be kidding me! The cheers only escalate, as Team Heyross enthusiastically bursts through the curtains! COLE IT'S TEAM HEYROSS! Team Heyross is BACK~! COACH Oh no, I can't believe this! I thought TK and Reject put these guys out for good! Reject and TK are in disbelief as Benjamin points to the ring, threatening the champs, then Team Heyross makes a mad dash for the ring! COLE You better think again, Coach! Team Heyross slides into the ring, and start exchanging blows with TK and Reject! *DING DING DING* COLE What a development here in the World tag team title match! D*LUX and the Blonds slug it out, as well, and take it to the outside, as Benjamin backs Reject into a corner, and Moss does the same with TK, and unload with right hands as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Team Heyross then jumps down, and whips the champs into each other in mid-ring! Reject rolls to the outside, while Moss grabs TK in a front facelock, then lifts him for a suplex. Benjamin then backs up, and gets a running start, jumping up and putting his knees into TK's back, executing a LUNGBLOWER as Moss falls back to the mat! COLE And Team Heyross has been working on some new moves in their absence! TK rolls to the outside, as well, and Team Heyross pumps up the crowd, as the Blonds roll back in and are met with right hands. The Blonds are followed by D*LUX, and a three-way slugfest ensues, with Tyler and Quentin slugging it out, as well as Ned and Shayne, and Moss and Simon. TK sneaks back in with a ladder, and sets it up, then he and Reject begin to climb it! COLE And look, TK and Reject looking to sneak out of here! However, Tyler comes over and pulls TK down, and drills him with right hands, while Ned does the same to Reject. TK and Reject are sent to the outside again, as the Blonds and D*LUX go at it once again. A slugfest is won by the Blonds, then Simon whips Tyler into the ropes, and catches him with a back elbow! COLE Simon Singleton with a big elbow right there! Ned hops to the second rope, and hops off, into the foot of Shayne! Tyler then whips Ned into a corner, then folds up the ladder and tosses it into him! COLE Oh, Ned having that ladder literally thrown at him by Tyler Bryant! Tyler then grabs Simon and whips him into the opposite corner, as Shayne sets up a chair in the ring, then backs up and uses the chair as a springboard to deliver a STINGER SPLASH~! to Simon! COLE Big splash in the corner! Tyler then sets the chair up in front of Ned, and Shayne jumps off of it...but Ned throws the ladder back into his face! COACH Not that time! COLE Faceful of ladder for Shayne Brave! Charlie Moss rolls into the ring, and floors Tyler with a superkick! Quentin Benjamin rolls in with another ladder, holding it up longways, then rams the top of it into the face of Tyler! COLE And now Tyler tasting a ladder! Benjamin then rams the ladder into Simon's face, then props it up in a corner. Meanwhile Moss hammers on Ned in a corner, then sets up a double underhook suplex, landing Ned on the other ladder! COACH Jeez! COLE Ned suplexed onto that ladder by Charlie Moss! Team Heyross then sets up Simon, and Irish whips him into the ladder propped up in the corner! TK then rolls back in and levels Benjamin from behind, while Reject does the same to Moss! COACH And the champs just laying in the weeds, waiting for the right time to strike! TK & Reject then grab a ladder, then charge Moss and clothesline him with it! COLE A ladder clothesline from TK and Reject to Charlie Moss! Reject then chokes Benjamin with his foot, while TK lays the ladder across the bottom rope. Reject whips Benjamin into the ropes, and he and TK drop toe hold him onto the ladder! COLE Quentin Benjamin, face-first! Benjamin rolls to the outside, as TK and Reject set up a ladder and begin their climb. Meanwhile, on the outside, Tyler rams the face of Ned into the steel steps, then rolls inside and hammers Reject on the back, then yanks him off by his tights and climbs the ladder himself. He and TK both reach the top, and begin to exchange right hands, until Charlie Moss rolls back in and shoves the ladder over, causing both men to clothesline themselves on the top rope! COLE TK and Tyler Bryant hung out to dry by Charlie Moss! Ned then hits Moss with a clothesline from behind, sending him rolling back to the outside, then follows him out. Meanwhile, Tyler and Benjamin engage in a slugfest on the floor, which Benjamin wins, then rolls Tyler onto a table. He delivers some blows to the chest, but Shayne decks him with a chair from behind! Meanwhile, TK climbs to the top rope... COACH TK going for something big here, Cole! TK gets his balance, and executes a MOONSAULT, to the outside, onto Tyler on the table! COLE A moonsault to the outside from TK, driving Tyler Bryant through that table! Meanwhile, in the ring, Reject floors Charlie Moss with a chairshot, then sets up the chair on his ankle. COLE And now Reject with that chair on the ankle of Charlie Moss, we've seen him try to do this in recent weeks to Bohemoth and last week to Maggie! Reject climbs to the top rope...then JUMPS DOWN ONTO THE CHAIR! COLE OH NO! Moss rolls to the apron holding his ankle, as Reject looks on. COLE Charlie Moss, remember he had that knee injury at the hands of the Deadly Alliance, and now he could have a broken ankle here, Coach! COACH Well, that's the risk you take in a match like this, especially involving someone in the state of mind Reject's in now! The referee pulls Moss to the outside, as Benjamin comes over to check on him. Another referee then comes out, and the two referees drape one of Moss's arms over their shoulders, and help him to the back. COLE How disappointing this must be for Team Heyross here, a surprise return and a chance to win the tag team titles here tonight, but those hopes look to be dashed right now! Benjamin slides back inside and grabs a ladder, then sets it up, as Shayne sets one up right next to him, and both men climb. The Blonds then make their way back in, with Simon climbing across from Shayne, while Ned climbs across from Benjamin. COLE But Quentin Benjamin going to try to do it on his own here! Two slugfests ensue atop the ladders, and Shayne manages to knock Simon back off. Benjamin knocks Shayne off right after, then rams Ned's face into the top of the ladder...before taking him off of it with a BULLDOG~! COACH Oh no! COLE A bulldog from the top of the ladder! TK and Reject then come back, and climb each ladder side-by-side. However, as they get to the top, Simon grabs a hold of Reject's ladder, and Tyler grabs a hold of TK's ladder, and both ladders are pushed over, with both men straddling the top rope and falling to the floor! COACH The two then set the ladders back up, and each climb one side, while Shayne and Ned climb each side on the other ladder. Slugfests ensue, and then Tyler and Simon both grab each other by the hair, and jump off, both clotheslining themselves on the ropes! Meanwhile, Ned sets up Shayne, and suplexes him off the ladder! COLE This is like a carwreck out here! The crowd stands and cheers, both because of the effort the athletes are giving, and because Charlie Moss is seen slightly limping back out to the ring! COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Charlie Moss is coming back! He's not going to go down without a fight! Moss rolls into the ring, then positions one of the ladders, and begins to climb! COLE Charlie Moss, fresh out of the trainers room, is going to win the titles! However, TK comes back in and pulls him down, and Reject joins in. But Moss fights back with right hands! COLE Charlie Moss fighting off both tag champs here! Moss soon falls to the odds, however, then TK lifts him in a hangman's hold. COLE Big kick coming up! Reject measures Moss, and lays in a big roundhouse kick! Moss rolls to the outside, as the Blonds roll in and slug it out with TK and Reject. Simon knocks Reject to the floor, as Ned slides a bigger ladder inside, and sets it up sideways in the corner, and sets up a smaller ladder in front of it. COACH Uh-oh, look at this ladder Ned's bringing in! Ned then sets up a table, and hammers away on TK, forcing him onto the table. He then climbs the small ladder, as Simon climbs the big one. COACH Oh, look at this! Both men reach the top of their ladders, and execute a ROCKET LAUNCHER TO THUNDERKID, THROUGH THE TABLE~! COLE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! A Rocket Launcher to TK, from the top of that huge ladder! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! As Simon and TK lay in the table wreckage, Quentin Benjamin slides in with a chair, tossing it to Ned, then superkicking it into his face! COLE And Team Heyross not done yet, either! However, Reject comes in with a chair of his own, and delivers a huge shot to the back of Benjamin! COACH Neither is Reject! Shayne then slides in, and is met with a chair right to the head! COLE Oh my God, Shayne Brave, that sickening thud of that chair right to the skull! Reject then sets up the chair in mid-ring, and drags Shayne over by the hair, then picks him up and delivers the EULOGY THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH Reject looks on as Shayne lays unconscious on the mat, then sets up a ladder and begins to climb, but Ned grabs him from behind, and pulls him off on his shoulders. Meanwhile, Tyler climbs to the top rope, and executes the MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW~!!!!!11111, to Reject off of Ned's shoulders! COLE And Tyler with the Merry Tyler Gore Show to Reject, as Reject was on Ned's shoulders! Tyler gets to his feet, then Ned charges in with a clothesline, taking both men over the top to the floor! Meanwhile, Shayne is sitting in a chair being looked over by EMTs. COLE And Shayne Brave being checked for a possible concussion here following that vile chairshot and Eulogy through said chair! Tyler wins a slufest with Ned, then picks apart the announce table. COACH Uh-oh... COLE Tyler Bryant picking apart our table here at ringside... Tyler then grabs a chair, and hits Ned over the head with it, causing him to roll onto the table, as Shayne emerges from his chair and grabs another big ladder from underneath the ring! COLE And Shayne Brave, the possibly concussed Shayne Brave, looks like he's going to climb the ladder here! Shayne makes his way slowly up the ladder, gets his balance on top...and DROPS AN ELBOW ONTO NED THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! COLE Shayne from 86 feet in the air, driving the elbow into Ned Blanchard, through our table! COACH ...what? COLE Don't blame me, that's what they tell me to say! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Meanwhile, Simon is back up in the ring, and follows Tyler up a ladder. He delivers right hands, knocking Tyler back down to the mat, then hops down and props up an unfolded table in the corner. He grabs Tyler and rams his head into the table, the starts climbing the ladder again. Tyler comes to quickly, and climbs the ladder, as well. The two exchange blows once within range, but Reject slides in and pulls down Simon, while TK springs off a chair, and SPEARS TYLER THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER~! COLE A Spear by TK! Tyler Bryant right throught the table! As TK and Tyler lay out, Reject grabs one of the big ladders and tosses it over the ropes, right down onto the back of Charlie Moss! COLE And now Charlie Moss taking that ladder to the back! Reject tosses Simon to the outside, then follows him out and whips him into the steel steps! He then grabs the big ladder that Shayne had jumped off of previously, stopping to ram Quentin Benjamin in the gut with it, then propping it up across the entryway, on the guardrails. COACH What is this? Reject then sets up the other big ladder a few feet away from it, before throwing some chops at Moss, and laying him on the ladder. Reject then starts to climb, as the crowd buzzes. COLE Reject going for it all here on Charlie Moss! Reject reaches the top of the ladder, gains his balance, and goes for a SOMERSAULT SENTON~!... ... ...but Moss rolls out of the way, and REJECT GOES THROUGH THE LADDER, BREAKING IT IN HALF~! COACH OH SHIT~! COLE HE BROKE THE LADDER! A 30-foot ladder, broken in half, by a man's body flying through the air! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COLE Look at the carnage! The camera pans around, catching Reject laying in ladder remnants, Tyler, Shayne, and Ned in table remnants, then back to the ring, where Benjamin hits Simon with a baseball slide, then grabbing one of the normal-sized ladders, as does Moss when he rolls inside. Moss puts his ladder over his head, resting it on his shoulders, while Benjamin holds his low, and the two size up TK as he gets to his feet, then move in, and execute a DOUBLE GOOZLE~! with the ladders! COLE Double goozle on TK, and look at who are the only two men left standing! COACH Oh, this can't be happening! Benjamin shoves TK to the outside, then the two set up their ladders right next to each other, and climb them on opposite sides. COLE Team Heyross climbing the ladders, with no opponents in sight! Benjamin and Moss reach up... COLE They're gonna do it! ...and GRAB THE BELTS!!! COLE YES~! It's over! And we have NEW World tag team champions! It's Team Heyross again! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen! The winners of Tables, Ladders, and Chairs...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Shine by Collective Soul plays, as Team Heyross jumps off their ladders and look at their newly regained titles, then embrace in mid-ring, before the referee raises their hands. COACH I can't believe it! COLE Well, believe it! Team Heyross is BACK, and they're BACK on top of the tag team division! What a shocker here at AngleSlam! Team Heyross re-ascends the ladders again with the belts. COLE Eight men came into this ring tonight and put their careers on the line, their bodies on the line, in the name of the World tag team titles! But the smoke has cleared... Team Heyross gets close to the top of the ladders, and raise the belts for the fans to see, as they applaud in approval. COLE ...and these two men, Team Heyross, are once again your tag team champions of the world! Team Heyross climbs down, and exits the ring, stepping around Reject, who is just starting to stir after going through the ladder, and raising their belts one last time before exiting into the locker room area. COLE Truly one of the memorable moments in AngleSlam history! And there's plenty more to come! Thursday nights are... Catch the #1 sports and entertainment program on television LIVE every Thursday night on TSM.

COLE Standing by right now, filling in for our regular broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan, who of course has the assignment of being the special guest referee in one-half of tonight’s double main event, here’s Terry Taylor. COACH Hey TT, you ought to feel right at home with your interviewee, being a cock and all. Dressed in a western themed tuxedo, we find Terry at our backstage interview position. TAYLOR Gee, a Red Rooster joke. How original. I bet you spent all night thinking of that gem, huh, Coach? COACH My, aren’t we feisty today, although I guess Krista being nowhere around has something to do with it. TAYLOR Even if Krista was here I’d put her in her place for making a stupid joke like yours. COLE Terry, behind you, it’s Krista! TAYLOR (startled) Krista?! The GLADDiator’s name alone is enough to cause an irregular heartbeat for Terry... COLE & COACH …but it turns out to be an angry MR. DICK, his brand spanking new “100% Pure Penetration” t-shirt (available now on OAOASTShop.com!) knotted to display his heavily oiled rock hard abs. TAYLOR (hyperventilating) Oh, Mr. Dick, it’s only you. MR. DICK (agitated) Shut up, rooster! I’m in no mood to do an interview after what just happened out there. Jade Rodez...YOU ARE A CHEATER! All you did throughout the match was cheat, and don’t think I didn’t see you pull the tights at the end. TAYLOR MR. DICK I guess that’s all your mother could teach you since it seems the only thing the modern day woman knows how to do is have abortions, spend their man‘s hard earned money and then cheat on them. But enjoy that sweet smell of success tonight, girl, because I promise you it won’t be long until the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns regains what is rightfully hers, the OAOAST Women‘s Championship. TAYLOR Mr. Dick, if I may… MR. DICK No you may not. The only person who is going to do the talking here is me. And what I have to say is directed towards Baron Windels, or the Original Lone Star Gunslinger as some have taken to calling him. I’ve told him for weeks that, like the defenders of the Alamo, the Alamodome would be his last stand. Win (yeah, right), lose (highly likely) -- or draw (unlikely), we’re through after tonight, you hear me? But I’ll give credit where credit is due, Taylor. Baron Windels has been a worthy adversary, one sided as our feud was. What he lacked in brains was made up in toughness. No matter how bad somebody beat the shit out of him, he’d always keep coming back for more. Though one story ends tonight, another begins. Because after tonight I’m headed straight to the top. You needn’t worry about the future though, Baron, because if you ask nicely enough I might consider reforming our team in between all my World title defenses to help you earn some desperately needed income! Cock-a-doodle-along, Taylor. It’s time for me to show Baron Windels yet again that the cream always rises to the crowd, or on his face! TAYLOR Mr. Dick exits. TAYLOR Mr. Dick is headed out to the ring and so are we. Michael Buffer, take it away! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the TEXAS BULL ROPE MATCH~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "My Dick" penetrates the sound system(!), but it’s a less than pleasurable experience for Mr. Dick. The Human Hard-On welcomed by a partisan crowd of 65,000-plus, golden pyro raining from the ceiling. BUFFER Introducing first, weighing a hard 242 pounds, the man once the toast of the town. A local high school football legend who returns home a villain... MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mr. Dick has the camera focus on his oversized belt buckle of an arrow pointing downward at his crotch where a red heart is strategically placed. COACH Look at that heart throb, Mikey. There lies the heartbeat of America, and the world for that matter. COLE It’s come as you are, fans, and Mr. Dick certainly did. Not sure if I agree with his choice of wardrobe, but I’m not hip with the culture so what do I know? Right now, let’s send it over to Terry Taylor with the Lone Star Gunslinger. Same backstage area, same OAOAST correspondent. Only the person at Terry’s side has changed. TAYLOR Baron Windels, the moment has finally arrived. The Gunslinger removes his shirt to reveal the welts and bruises on his back, the result of Thursday night’s attack, and then exits. TAYLOR I guess that says it all, fellas. Baron Windels means business. Back to you. "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy is cued and the crowd ERUPTS. BUFFER And his opponent, who tonight seeks to settle the score with his former tag team partner. Hailing from San Antonio, Texas, and weighing 265 pounds... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Lone Star Gunslinger bursts out of the saloon and towards the ring, only to be restrained by wrestling’s only true senior official Clem Buzzlefoxer. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE Mr. Dick better send Clem Buzzlefoxer a thank you note after the show because he just saved his life. COACH It’s not a street fight, Cole, it’s a bull rope match. Both guys need to be joined by the wrist before the match can begin. Old man Buzzlefoxer was only doing his job. He’s not one of these activist referees. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” The atmosphere is electric as Mr. Dick re-enters and is the first strapped to the bull rope. But when it comes time to secure Baron Windels, the Human Hard-On charges forward and leapfrogs the hunched 84-year-old official…but the Lone Star Gunslinger moves and Mr. Dick crashes into the corner! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There goes the cowboy hat. * DINGDINGDING * COACH And there goes the bell. Baron keeps Mr. Dick isolated and unloads from the second rope, his fists taped. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Mr. Dick stumbles out of the corner and receives a BULLDOG! Then Baron participates in masochistic activity, WHIPPING the hide off Dickzilla! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Whip him! Whip him like a dog, BW! Mr. Dick reaches forward and dumps Baron over the top, but the Gunslinger lands on the apron and connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! Once again flat on his back Mr. Dick finds himself in a vulnerable position. Fist cocked, BW drives the COWBELL… MR. DICK …into the canvas, nobody home after Mr. Dick rolls outside. There he yanks hard on the rope, sending Baron flying out under and into the steel guardrail! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Human Hard-On pulls his custom-made STEEL CUP out from his tights and BASHES the Lone Star Gunslinger! COACH That’s really using your head. COLE I beg your pardon? COACH Just think about that one for a few seconds. It’s real sophisticated material. Now covered in crimson, Baron is subjected to a brutal lashing, which includes having his Stewie Griffin t-shirt stuffed down his throat! COLE Baron’s homecoming is turning into a nightmare! “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Bordering on sadism, Mr. Dick is among the thousands chanting Baron’s name. Hands bloody, Mr. Dick almost loses his grip as he drops BW sternum-first on the guardrail. But disaster strikes when Mr. Dick attempts to ram Baron into the ring post, as it’s blocked and he’s the one posted instead! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The ROAR grows LOUDER as Mr. Dick struggles to his feet drenched in blood! Seeking refuge, he tries to hightail it across the ring forgetting he’s tied to the bull rope, so Baron reels him in and starts wailing away! COLE Baron Windels has been on record stating his goal is to beat some sense into that narcissist and he’s doing just that. His arm beginning to tire from all the whipping, Baron CHOKES Mr. Dick with the bull rope! COACH Oh, no, not again. COLE This is payback right here. Mr. Dick sinks to an all-time low in order to escape, ripping off Clem Buzzlefoxer’s WOODEN LEG to use as a weapon!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE What a no good dirty rotten son of a…! COACH I certainly hope that‘s what I think it is. Otherwise Mr. Dick is all walk and no cock. And I never knew Clem had a fake leg. Good for him to still have wood at his age. COLE It’s a little known fact Clem Buzzlefoxer lost a leg fighting in World War II, a traumatic experience he rarely speaks of. Freed after whacking Baron over the head several times, Mr. Dick stomps the Lone Star Gunslinger’s groin with the leg, then flings it back to its rightful owner and, JUST BEING A DICK, delivers another low blow! “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” Grinning from ear to ear, Mr. Dick covers Baron while performing one-handed pushups. COLE What an egotistical jerk he is. Hopefully it won’t end like this. Clem reattaches his leg and makes the count. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now Baron’s the one who ought to send Clem a thank you note after the match, because Mr. Dick had it won right there. There was no rush for Clem to reattach his leg. It’s not like it was an ear or anything. He could’ve -- and should’ve -- waited to put that thing back on. Mr. Dick hammers Baron with the COWBELL, then whips him across and uses the BULLROPE to deliver a clothesline! The cover. ONE… TWO… No, Mr. Dick isn’t done yet. Shaking his head, the Cocky Prick sets for a DISCUS PUNCH…but Windels ducks and reels in Mr. Dick to feed the DEVIL’S ADDICTION! Though he could easily go for the pin, Baron wants more time to beat some sense into his former partner. A move that proves to be a mistake as Mr. Dick lands the COCK SHOCK out of nowhere! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ONE… TWO… Kickout. And not a very strong one at that. Mr. Dick hangs Baron in a toe of woe and then heads outside, where he places the Gunslinger’s neck in a makeshift noose and cranks back! COLE Mr. Dick is trying to choke the life out of Baron Windels! COACH And because this isn‘t your normal match he doesn‘t have to break. If Baron passes out he obviously can’t continue. Brilliant move on the part of Mr. Dick. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Fueled by the crowd, Baron manages to free his legs and removes the bull rope from around his neck. As he crawls towards the center of the ring, Mr. Dick comes off the top with a FLYING ELBOW, popping to his feet immediately after to boast. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Suddenly…A HANDFUL OF TEXAS DIRT TO THE EYES! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Germ warfare?! There’s no place for that in this world. Cowbell assisted Cowboy Bebop elbow rattles Mr. Dick, and the MYSPACE COMEBACK knocks him off his feet! The cover. ONE… TWO… NO! Like Mr. Dick earlier in the match, Baron decides he wants to dish out more punishment, setting his physically exhausted former partner on the top for THE SUPERPLEX! ONE… TWO… THREE! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NO, KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BARON COLE What have I done Baron Windels must be thinking. He had the match won, but his pursuit of a harsher sentence may have opened the door for Mr. Dick to walk free. Soaked in blood, Baron verbally berates himself for a lapse in judgment, allowing Mr. Dick to come up behind with a CHOP BLOCK! COACH We can officially shut the door on whatever chance Baron had of winning this one after his brain fart a few minutes ago. There’s no question who really carried the Lone Star Gunslingers now. Looking to finish off Baron in spectacular fashion, Mr. Dick tries to HOGTIE him, but the Gunslinger fires back and then delivers a COWBELL NUTSHOT~!!! MR. DICK COLE Dickzilla? More like dickless after that. Baron stares Mr. Dick in the eyes, and then serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT! A pin attempt is the last thing on his mind, however. The Lone Star Gunslinger wanting to end the match with his signature BUTT BUMP (BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS)! Now the cover. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" His arm raised in victory, Baron stands over Mr. Dick and… BARON (looking down in disgust) TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES?! ...following a choice remark SPITS on him! COACH (sarcastically) Great sportsmanship right there. The OAOAST must be real proud to have somebody like Baron Windels on its roster. COLE You damn right it is. That young man exemplifies everything this great sport is about, unlike your buddy who just got defeated.

COLE Up next at AngleSlam, the match for the Women's Championship! Our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by with the challenger right now. Back at the AngleSlam interview set stands Matthews, with a very pre-occupied looking Jade Rodez. MATTHEWS Jade, we're just moments away from your shot at the Women's Title. Weeks and weeks of intensive training have gone into this match for you and this is it, it's all come down to this. Are you feeling nervous at all, having to step into the ring for a third time with Malaysia Nerdly, who you've never beaten before? JADE Uh... yeah, I mean... ya know, a little? Hehe. Jade rubs her hands together frantically to get her mind on something else, eyes wide. MATTHEWS Stupid question I suppose. Well you're sure to have the support of the thousands in the arena, the millions watching on Pay Per View, not to mention your mother Krista... Jade's hand rubbing gets ever more frenetic. MATTHEWS I'm not really helping, am I? JADE Not really no. MATTHEWS Okay, well I can see you're trying to stay focused so we'd best send it back out... "WOAAAAAHHHHHH GIRL!!" ...you know what, I'm not even going to try and explain why Alix Maria Spezia rides into shot on the back of a white horse and calls it to a stop, with the help of a just in-shot horse trainer. I'm just not even going to attempt it. The fact is, that's what happens, okay. No explanation either for the kilt she's wearing. She just is. Deal with it. JADE Alix!? ALIX The time of reckoning is upon us young warrior! Tonight is your chance to make history, history that will be spoken upon for many a moon to come! Days yore, the good people of San Antonioshire, they will speak of a young woman who showed courage, determination and what a good Los Angeles hairdresser can do for a person! For tonight, you will be a hero! You will defy all odds! For, Malaysia, the enemy. She may well take away folicles of your hair. She may well take a number of your teeth as souvenirs. And there's a pretty good chance that given the chance she'll take your innocence too, if ya know what I mean. But, Jade, SHE WILL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!! Or, uh, ya know, OUR WOMEN'S TITLE!!! JADE Alix... where did you get that horse from!? ALIX Well I didn't get it from Sears, that's for sure! Infact they were quite rude when I enquired with one of their members of staff about it. So fuck you Sears! It don't matter none, son, what's important is it's inspirational! You see a hot chick riding a big ol' horse, you sit up and you take notice of what they're saying, as the rude Sears employee I chased down a narrow alleyway will attest to. Don't tell me you've never seen Braveheart? JADE I saw a trailer for it when I was in high school. ALIX Really? Wouldn't that make me quite old then? Gee I don't like that one bit. JADE Uh... why are... you not wearing any, uh... any underwear? ALIX DUH! Because I'm Scottish! Isn't that right lads? For no reason at all (seriously, you want explanations, you're in the wrong damn place), The Last Kings Of Scotland walk by. DANNY BOY Aye lassie! SCOTTISH SCOTT Aye! ALIX Aye matey! Shiver me timbers and all that! See, now I get why those Scottish people in pirate movies say that. Because wearing no underwear is really making my timbers shiver something rotten right about now! I think I'm gonna go change real quick, you okay waiting here with my horse? JADE I've got my match. ALIX Oh, well, in that case maybe my below the belt nakedness'll work as a great distraction techniqu... JADE NO NO! Rush back and change, I can wait, really! ALIX Well if you insist. I mean, do you want to win this title or what? Sheesh! Alix jumps down off of the horse and the horse trainer takes it safely away, causing Josh to almost faint. JADE Wouldn't it have been quicker to take the horse? ALIX Jade, this is a public place of work, it's no place for an inhebriated woman with no underwear to be riding a horse! Very irresponsible of you to even suggest it. Just wait until I tell your mother, she'll be so proud of you! Ooh-hoo, an up-draft! With a big grin on her face Alix goes skipping off, leaving Jade to go back to dreading the worst about her match again. COACH What I wouldn't have given to have been that horse. COLE Okay, well, the Women's Title match will be coming up momentarily. While we've got a spare moment there's just time to remind you about our next Pay Per View offering on September 28th and that will be entitled Zero Hour, live from Cleveland, Ohio. Just four weeks away now, so start saving your money for that one folks. Not in a bank of course, that'd just be madness with the state of the economy in this country, just stick it all in an old sock or something. COACH Speaking of old socks... COLE There can be no good segueway out of that line, so let's just go up to the ring shall we? *DINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and, it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, bringing out a familiar group of dancers onto the stage. Within the space of a week Jade has upgraded from solo entrance to her mother's trusty dancers all wearing identical cheerleader outfits to hers and launching into a high energy routine! Jade doesn't look any the less nervous for the company and doesn't even try to match the professionals around her, just smiling and waving as the dancers do their work. One person who does join in though is Alix Maria Spezia, arriving a little later, now fully clothed to the disappointment of many I'm sure. Unfortunately she obviously got the wrong memo and is dressed as a cowgirl instead of a cheerleader. Looking confused as to why the dancers aren't dressed like her, she soon forgets all about sartorial differences and launches in with them. COACH Boy, that was a quick wardrobe change. BUFFER Introducing on her way to the ring, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! She now resides in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" "When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies" Jade marches to the ring with a nervous look on her face, not in the mood for any dancing. Even more so than usual. She climbs up the ring steps and with a deep breath enters the squared circle, acknowledging the cheers and many signs wishing her good luck with a shy wave. COACH You know, the song says it all, "Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it." Jade, I know Mommy chose your music for you and really it couldn't be any more inappropriate for you if she tried, but maybe you oughta take a listen and bail on out of here real quick. COLE Jade isn't bailing anywhere Coach. She's worked incredibly hard these past three or four weeks to prepare herself for this match, she wants to win this Women's Title more than anything, to carry on her part of the Duncan legacy. COACH Well that's sweet an' all, but Malaysia's not just beaten Jade twice before, she's completely and utterly squashed her both times! In five minutes or less! Maybe if Jade's spent those four weeks learning some new wrestling moves or how to take sadistic levels of punishment she might be okay this time. But from what I can tell, she's got a cheerleader outfit from a fancy dress shop, took a trip to Krista's hairdresser and played home invasion with her bestest best friends. And that's it. COLE She's done a lot more than that Coach. She's been learning from two of the very best, her mother and Alix Maria Spezia. Their methods might not be conventional but they're successful. The out-of-breath Alix belatedly makes it to the ring in Jade's corner, just in time as the sound of a whip cracking starts up "Wild Side" by Motley Crue. Jade takes a big cartoonish gulp as the mighty frame of the Women's Champion, Malaysia Nerdly, forms on the entrance way. Carrying her cat o' nine tails, Malaysia smiles to herself looking down on the ring, rubbing the main plate of her Women's Title. BUFFER And, introducing her opponent. Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. She is the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns... the reigning and defending OAOAST Women's Champion... MMMMAAAAALLLAAAAYYYYYSSSIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia cracks her whip on the floor in the aisle, unnerving a good number of the fans nearby. Not to mention Jade, who looks to Alix for a little moral support and finds her mother's girlfriend cowering behind the ring steps. COLE That is one sick pup right there. The Women's Champion, who has absolutely dominated the women's division since she showed up at Jock Mulligan's side months ago, to the point that Jade is the only female in the OAOAST who's agreed to face her in weeks, let alone requested it herself! Malaysia takes her sweet time climbing the ring steps, giving them a crack with the nine tails as well sending a metallic thud ringing out. From the outside, Alix points out Jade as the one who challenged her in hopes that she'll be left unharmed. Referee Charles Robinson quickly takes away the whip as Malaysia enters, taking the Women's Title belt as well and holding it overhead for the crowd. Before putting it outside he gives Jade a chance to look at it. COLE Here we go, can Jade finally slay the mighty Malaysia? *DINGDINGDING!* And with that the bell sounds. Jade looks nervous to leave her corner, as Malaysia leans back in hers with that same sick smile. COACH So, how long before Jade's forced to drop the Duncan name after she shames it again tonight? I give it a week to let the paperwork go through. COLE Why do you always have to keep bagging on Jade? She's just a sweet, simple girl from Grand Rapids, what's wrong with that? COACH Well, plenty if you ask Krista, else she wouldn't be doing this whole makeover thing. Jade gets the crowd clapping to try and boost a little confidence she's lacking, before the first tentative lock-up. However Malaysia has no interest in locking up and as she strokes her hand down Jade's newly styled hair, the freaked out challenger breaks away and scurries back to her corner. Alix is quickly called into action and with a mischevious smile, she imparts some advic-- JADE NO! Eww, oh my God, no, I'm not doing that! No! Shrugging, Alix walks off and tells Jade "fine, do it your way, prude" leaving us to only speculate what Alix's idea could have been. Shaking it off, Jade goes tentatively back to Malaysia and this time they do lock up. Malaysia immediately muscles her opponent back into the corner and pens her in. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Malaysia gives a clean break, but only after having spent the five count staring into Jade's eyes and further unnerving her. Malaysia backs up and encourages Jade to come to her. And having had enough of being intimidated, Jade runs forward and smacks Malaysia across the jaw with an elbow strike! COLE Oh, there we go! What a shot by Jade! COACH And what little effect it had, look! Wiping at her jaw Malaysia continues to smile away, nodding her head to show that she likes it, she really likes it. Jade looks confused about what to do next at seeing this and runs in, connecting with a second elbow! More head-nodding is the only response she gets though. So Jade rushes past Malaysia and comes off the ropes looking for more momentum. But Malaysia's eyes suddenly light up at the last second, and with a gleeful look as if to say 'your turn', she cuts Jade off with a devestating clothesline!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And that's the beginning of the end. How close to the end just depends on how long Malaysia's gonna drag this out. Which could be a while, because she's having so much fun right now. Jade holds her jaw and tries to crawl out of the ring, but is stopped by Malaysia placing her foot on her back. With Jade pinned down Malaysia then places her foot on Jade's hand and pushes up on the top rope, standing with all her body-weight on the hand causing Jade to scream in pain! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Break by Malaysia. Jade writhes around on the mat holding her hand and Malaysia takes a second to savour her moans of pain. COACH You think Malaysia's into cheerleaders Michael? COLE What sort of a question is that!? COACH I like to think she is. Ya know, so naive, so innocent, so unused to the pain that she adores. How horny must Malaysia be right now? COLE You're sick. Malaysia drags Jade back up and holds her in a one-hand chinlock, bringing her left arm around with a crushing forearm shot to the chest. As Jade drops to her knees Malaysia's smile suddenly disappears though, as she sees Alix on the outside eagerly waving her arms. Doing her best to ignore the distraction Malaysia picks Jade up, clubbing her with another forearm. Still Alix keeps waving though and Malaysia stops for a second. Before Alix can capitalise on the distraction though, Malaysia suddenly FISHOOKS Jade and shocks Alix into (momentary) silence! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Again Malaysia breaks on five, but gets a warning from the referee. She then turns back to Alix... to find The Hollywood Bad Girl waving her cat o'nine tails at her!! Malaysia's eyebrows furrow and she goes to confront Alix, only to stop in her tracks as Alix starts to grind seductively with the whip between her teeth! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Sending the San Antonio crowd into rapture isn't neccessarily tough. But Alix manages to do the tougher task, keeping Malaysia's attention transfixed on her. And it allows Jade to recover, turning around and delivering a PUNCH DOWNSTAIRS ON MALAYSIA!! The Women's Champion doubles over in shock and Jade forces her down into a roll-up... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COACH Di... did she just use a lowblow!? COLE That might be one way to pour some cold water on Malaysia's advances. And no prizes for guessing who taught Jade the virtues of that move. Malaysia looks angry now as she gets to her feet, even the elbow strikes of Jade not enough to make her smile about this pain. Firing four quick shots, Jade hits the ropes. This time she anticipates the wild swing of Malaysia and ducks her clothesline, coming off the far ropes and delivering a front dropkick on the run, catching Malaysia in the stomach. The force knocks Malaysia back into the ropes, Jade drawing off the cheers of the crowd as she comes charging in... getting backdropped over the top, but saved from a hard spill to the floor by Alix! Alix helps her back onto the apron, where Jade delivers an instinctive shoulder through the ropes. From there Jade looks a little lost, so Alix gives her a 'helpful' shove up over the ropes into a sunset flip... ...NO! Malaysia hangs onto the rope to block being taken down! ALIX Hey, referee, tell Melody to get her hand off the ropes! MALAYSIA I'm not Melody! ALIX Oh, okay Maggie... no no, wait, Mindy, right? Or is it Molly? No no, she's the chick with the camera... uh, no, don't tell me, it's on the tip of my tongue... err, Marvin? Monica? Maria? Makela? ...Abdullah!? MALAYSIA GRRRRR... IT'S MALAYSIAAaaaaaaa!! Malaysia forgets where she is and falls back into the pin! 1... 2... NO! Jade is up quickly and latches onto Malaysia with a sleeper hold. With pure brute strength Malaysia climbs to her feet anyway though and rams Jade back into the turnbuckles! COLE The power of this woman is unbelievable. COACH Malaysia is unbelievable. Even two on one, Jade is no match for Malaysia. Sitting Jade on the top turnbuckle, Malaysia grabs two handfuls of hair before YANKING her back down to the canvas! Jade lands with a thud and groans in pain, giving Malaysia the chance to get her bearings back. As soon as she does, she leaves Jade behind though, going to the outside in pursuit of Alix! The fans rise to their feet as Alix is ready for Malaysia, whip in hand brandished like a ninja weapon. But referee Robinson is able to get in between them before they can come to blows. Malaysia is ordered back into the ring, before Robinson takes drastic measures to get control and risks being lynched by the people of San Antonio as he THROWS ALIX OUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think the referee's had enough of Alix's distractions and this crowd doesn't like it one bit! But Alix is being sent to the back! COACH It's about time too. Take away Jade's safety blanket and let's see how tough she is! Alix tries to protest, tries to reason, tries to seduce Robinson with a sultry dance with Malaysia's whip. None of them are working though and Alix is banished to the backstage area. With her best puppy-dog eyes she sulks off, leaving Jade without any guidance as Malaysia stalks towards her in the ring. With no distractions to bother her, Malaysia picks Alix up by the wrist and pulls her into a knee to the stomach. By the hair, she again throws Jade hard to the canvas. Malaysia then delivers a big legdrop and covers... 1... 2... No! Realising all alone, Jade shows some fight and catches Malaysia in a casual moment with a punch to the gut. And another. But Malaysia just shrugs them off and clubs Jade in the back. Malaysia then delivers a backbreaker, before stretching the challenger out across the knee. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" COLE Jade might not have Alix's moral support anymore, but she's got these thousands of San Antonians in her corner! COACH Oh good, maybe one of them knows a shortcut to the hospital. Fists clenched, Jade feeds off the energy and manages to get her knee up into Malaysia's chest. A second knee catches Malaysia a little higher. And a well placed third lands on the ear, allowing Jade to escape the submission. Her freedom doesn't last long though. Malaysia grabs Jade before she can get away and drags her away from the ropes, grabbing her in a waistlock and looking for a suplex. Jade kicks her feet frantically and refuses to be taken over, managing to counter with an unorthodox looking chin breaker! Straight back up is Malaysia though and she shoulder charges Jade, right back into a corner. Jade falls to a knee and Malaysia presses her throat against the middle rope. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Malaysia whips Jade across the ring, charging in... and MISSING with a corner splash! COLE Now here's an opening! Can Jade capitalise? Hitting the ropes, Jade launches herself with a crossbody... CAUGHT! Malaysia catches Jade with ease and sends her flying with a Fallaway Slam!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Well there's a surprise, she failed. Malaysia crawls over and covers... 1... 2... NO! Malaysia looks surprised at the kickout, but soon consoles herself with the fact she can dish out some more pain. She pulls Jade up, lifting her over her shoulder and tries to position her in the Gory Special. Jade struggles around trying to get free... but can't and is soon being stretched in all sorts of unnatural positions! COACH Oh yeah, she's got her on the rack now! You know she's got a rack down in the Nerdly family basement? What do you reckon she uses that for? COLE I dread to think. In immense pain Jade shouts out and brings the smile flooding back to Malaysia's face. Jade's face is etched in agony and referee Robinson is right there ready to call for the submission. But the crowd sense Jade is in trouble and increase their support again. And it seems to work. Malaysia lets Jade suffer for a few more seconds before starting to bend even further forward to apply even more pressure to the human rack. It looks like Jade is moments away from calling it quits with her spine being torqued to near breaking point. But she's doing this for Krista and something suddenly kicks in, Duncan DNA perhaps, as she lets out a loud groan... not of pain, but of exertion, fighting against the hold and arching herself back the other way!! Malaysia looks shocked and doesn't react in time to stop Jade, reversing the hold into a sunset flip pin... COLE COUNTER BY JADE! 1... 2... NO! Malaysia strikes first with a knee to cut Jade off at the pass. COLE And just as Jade was starting to get something going, Malaysia shuts her right back down. COACH Yeah, I mean, Jade's faring better than she ever has. Even I admit it's an improvement. But she's still no match for Malaysia! With a scowl Malaysia pulls Jade up onto her shoulders. Turning away from the ropes, she then DRIVES her down with a Powerbomb and stacks her on her shoulders for the pin... COACH That's it. 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE NO! It's NOT it! This is Jade's night, this is the defining night of her young life and she's not about to go down without a fight!! COACH Alright, calm down dude. Malaysia grabs Jade and calls for the end, before hoisting her up again. Up on the shoulders Jade suddenly sparks to life though, raining down punches to the head. With Malaysia dazed, Jade then pushes herself forward AND DROPS MALAYSIA WITH A DDT!! COLE What a move! Jade with a counter, from the jaws of possible doom from that second powerbomb! COACH Where did she get THAT from!? COLE Take a wild guess! Both Jade and Malaysia are down and referee Robinson starts his standing ten count. The crowd are loud in trying to wake Jade up, seeing an opportunity for her. Jade stirs first to their excitement. COLE Come on Jade, make the cover! You can do it! And she does! 1... 2... NO! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Slow to their feet, Malaysia and Jade are both up at the same time. But it's Jade who's got the adrenaline rush and she strikes first, stunning Malaysia with some elbows. With all her strength she manages to whip Malaysia into a corner, before following her in with Double Knees~! Jade runs the ropes as Malaysia staggers out of the corner. The challenger ducks a clothesline and comes to a stop, catching Malaysia with the Gamengiri as she turns around! COLE Kick to the face, she could have it! Cover by an eager Jade... 1... 2... NO! COLE Again only two! But it seems like the longer this match goes, the more confidence Jade is feeling in herself and it's that confidence that's making all the difference, because the Women's Champion is on the ropes like we've never seen! Firing up again the challenger watches Malaysia to her feet, then paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360... NO! Malaysia cuts her off with a boot. The Women's Champion then pulls Jade in and again signals for the end. COACH You were saying? COLE Could it be that devestating piledriver of Malaysia's? If it is, it's dream over! Malaysia elevates Jade up over her shoulder... but Jade kicks and struggles to escape down the back! Reaching back Jade tries to hook Malaysia up for a backslide. Malaysia refuses to go though and spins Jade to face her, shoving her back a step and delivering a HARD Yakuza style kick to the chest! Jade is almost turned inside out and Malaysia stacks her on her shoulders for the quick pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Malaysia has never had this much problem putting an opponent away, she's never encountered this much resistance before. And you have to wonder if she's getting frustrated. COACH Probably. She's had her fun, now it's time for Jade to slink off and lick her wounds. Stalking Jade, Malaysia charges and bowls her over with a clothesline. Jade is rolled right the way over this time and slumps sadly to the mat, on her last legs. MALAYSIA OVER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With handfuls of hair she then pulls Jade to her knees. With Jade's hair tearing at the roots she stops and savours the strands of blonde for a couple of seconds, before looking to finally finish Jade off. Reaching down she gutwrenches Jade and muscles her back up over the shoulder. COACH Here it comes. Malaysia carries Jade around and picks her spot, centre of the ring... ...but suddenly stops. In a last ditch effort to save herself Jade grabs a hold of Malaysia's hair and tugs away! Malaysia lets out a shout as it's her roots being tugged at for once, that shout soon turning into a moan of pleasure as the pain starts to sink in. But in this moment of pleasure, she finds herself distracted from the job at hand. After a few more tugs Jade starts to feel Malaysia's grip soften. And she's able to turn to her side a little. COACH Come on, drop her! Drop her already! COLE No, she's fighting it Coach, Jade is fighting it! COACH No, no! Malaysia finally realises what's going on and clamps her hands back together... but by now it's too late, as Jade pushes herself off of Malaysia's shoulder, still holding onto the hair of the Women's Champion... ...AND BRINGING HER DOWN WITH A REVERSE X-FACTOR!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE THE MOVE! THE COVER? Jade even looks shocked for a second, before snapping to life to capitalise, jumping on top of Malaysia and hooking the legs... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE YES! YES YES, JADE DID IT, JADE WINS!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* In shock and elation Jade slaps her hands to her face and climbs to her feet, looking at the referee as if waiting for him to shake his head and say it was only two. But instead Robinson raises her hand in victory and Jade starts to jump for joy around the ring! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the contest... and the NNEEEEEEEEWWWWW OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJJAAAAAADDEEEE RRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a scene in San Antonio! A year ago Jade Rodez broke from the shackles of The Enterprise! And on this night, after a year of heartache and upheaveal, Jade has done what no other woman could do, she has beaten Malaysia Nerdly and she has won the OAOAST Women's Championship! Absolutely unbelievable! Do you believe in miracles!? COACH Well, I didn't, but... this is a miracle alright! Jade is handed the Women's Championship and she clutches it in her arms, close to tears. Her celebration is cut short by Malaysia Nerdly getting to her feet, holding the back of her head and raging. She rages at no-one in particular though as Jade and the referee are quickly out of the ring and out of harm's way down the aisle. Still wide-eyed in disbelief, Jade raises the title over her head and lets out a relieved shout, cheered wildly by the crowd. COLE This is a fantastic moment and I'm so pleased to be a part of it. After all Jade has gone through, tonight she's done her mother Krista proud. The Duncan name is in safe hands Coach! COACH Yeah, yeah, whatever. COLE And she crammed all your taunts down your throat, didn't she? COACH Yeah, take it easy, okay? Nobody likes a gloater. In her celebration Jade raises the title belt one last time to the crowd before she disappears through the curtains and gets backstage. Tired, she walks weakly. But she suddenly gets a burst of energy as she sees Krista backstage waiting for her, running over and jumping into her mother's arms in delight. Alix looks like a third wheel for a second and joins in the hug as well so as not to feel left out. COLE It's a Duncan family celebration at AngleSlam! Jade, Krista and Alix's hug continues... ...as we cut away, into the locker room of The In Crowd, to see none other than LEON RODEZ watching all this on a TV monitor. With hands on hips, Leon wears a glum smile on his face as he rests a hand on the TV set watching her niece's celebration. Behind him, Zack Malibu walks by and stops with a look of concern. ZACK You okay man? LEON ...huh? Yeah... yeah, I'm great. Why wouldn't I be? Leon turns the TV set off as we.... Cut backstage to Josie Baker's office, where Josie has just hung up the phone. JOSIE Come in! Thunderkid and Reject walk into the office. JOSIE Ah, I've been expecting you two. We've got some things to discuss. REJECT Damn right we do. Did you see that little wimp announcer take a cheap shot at me? JOSIE First, watch your language when you talk to me. Second, I did see it, and I will take it up with him later. So don't worry about that. Just worry about your three opponents in that tag match later... TK Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. What do you mean, three opponents? It's just us, the Blonds and D*LUX! JOSIE I'll get to that later. But as for you, Reject, you should be thankful you're not sharing a prison cell with Bohemoth right now! REJECT JOSIE You better get your shit together, or I will have it done for you, do you understand? REJECT (pause) *sigh* Yes. JOSIE Now, go get ready for your match. TK But what about... JOSIE Later! TK and Reject get up and leave the office, as Josie looks on.

*DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...our opening match of the night here at AngleSlam from San Antonio, will be the Riverwalk Invitational 20-man battle royal! Rock Your Baby by George McCrae plays, as the lights go out and a massive disco ball lowers from the ceiling. The entryway then turns dark purple and fills with light smoke, as Vinny Valentine dances through the curtains, followed by Biff Atlas and Tony Tourettes. BUFFER Introducing the participants...coming to the ring at this time...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Including "THE DISCO DUCK" VINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVVVVVVVVALENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE!!!!! BIFFFFFFFFFFF ATLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRETTESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And I'm being told now that Tony is actually a participant in this battle royal, so that takes care of one of the two unannounced names in this! Vinny slides into the ring and begins to dance as the lights come back on. Sweet Home Chicago hits, and Jumbo struts through the curtains, followed by Deuce Deuce Bigelow. COACH Whoa, wait a minute, did you just say that Tony Tourettes is in this battle royal? COLE That's what I was told from the back! COACH That guy's not a wrestler! What's he gonna do out there? BUFFER Introducing...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! following Jumbo...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! COLE Deuce with an impressive showing against Sandman9000 in a Heartland title match a couple weeks ago, and you have to figure him to have a good chance, as well as Jumbo due to their size! Easy Lover hits, and Rico de Janiero walks out, along with Sweet Lucius Soul. BUFFER RICO DE JANIERO and SWEET LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEWRECKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! COLE Tough tag team in the MGHC, making their way out for the battle royal! The MGHC's exchange high tens with Vinny when they get to the ring. Tom Sawyer by Rush hits, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter makes his way through the curtains...followed by Denzel Spencer and Reggie Lamont! COACH What is this? The three slap hands with the fans as they come down the aisle. BUFFER Coming down the aisle...The CANNNNNNNNNNNN-JAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CONNECTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Featuring "AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! DENNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMONT!!!!! COLE Well, apparently these guys sat down and talked things out after that big six-man tag on Syndicated, and now look to have formed a six-man unit of their own! And what talent in that trio! COACH Well, the Can-Jam Connection is what Buffer called them! Like the Angel hits, and the crowd gets to its feet for MEL and MARV. COLE And now a very talented duo, former World tag team champions on their way out! BUFFER MEL and MARV...THE CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISSSSSSSST AIRRRRRRRRRR EXXXXXXXXPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! MEL and MARV roll in and pose on the buckles, as No Chance in Hell plays, and Spanish Fly makes his way through the curtains, followed by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. COLE And here comes another couple of big ones in this group! BUFFER Members of the former Lightning Crew...first...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! CUUUUUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORICUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! The three men climb into the ring, and Wall begins shadow boxing as Fix Up, Look Sharp hits, and the crowd pops bigtime for Jamie O'Hara. COLE And here comes the winner of the Land of Opportunity battle royal just last month! BUFFER "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! O'Hara jumps into the ring and starts jawing with Spanish Fly, as hits, and Nathaniel Black and Faqu make their way to the ring. COLE Members of Cucaracha International making their way to the battle royal! BUFFER Representing Cucaracha International...they are two-thirds of the OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions...introducing first, NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHANIELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LL BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! His partner, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! COACH I think I gotta go with Faqu as the favorite here, Cole! There's a lot of big guys in there, but none of them as tough as this guy! COLE Faqu is definitely a guy you have to look at, but don't count out this man, making his return to the ring! "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." Punishment by BIOHAZARD starts up, and the crowd goes crazy as Brock Ausstin walks out and stops at the top of the ramp, and starts doing his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" BUFFER Making his return to the ring after a four-month absence..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Brock stalks to the ring, then hops onto the apron, and jerks back on the ropes, causing pyro to explode from all four corners. He then climbs into the ring and does his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" COLE And all that's left is our one remaining surprise entrant. COACH It's not a surprise, Cole, it's the same goof who's a "surprise" in every battle royal we do! Black Sweat hits, and DESTRUCTICITY in the form of MISTER Warrior comes storming down the aisle. Buffer starts to make the announcement, but MISTER Warrior chases him out of the ring. *DING DING DING* MISTER Warrior runs to the ropes, and floors both members of the MCHG with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! He then levels Spanish Fly with a roundhouse right! Big chop for Cuban Wall! He then delivers chops to Faqu, which have little effect. Faqu grabs MISTER Warrior by the hair, and delivers a BIG headbutt, followed by a thrust kick, which sends MISTER Warrior backwards over the top to the floor! The crowd boos the early elimination. COACH MISTER Warrior collecting his paycheck for the night! Thanks for coming! Warrior then lets out a big roar, before running back to the locker room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: MISTER Warrior eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu is jumped from behind by Mr. Boricua, as Vinny and Biff go to work on Denzel Spencer, with Tony watching on from the outside. COLE Well, I was told that Tony was a participant here, but he's hanging out on the outside! COACH Shades of George "The Animal" Steele at WrestleMania IV! Reggie Lamont gives Denzel a hand, as Nathaniel Black and Felix Strutter slug it out in a corner. Meanwhile, Deuce ducks a clothesline from Mr. Boricua, and hits a DROPKICK, sending Boricua backwards over the top to the floor! COACH Whoa! COLE And there goes one of the big ones already, Mr. Boricua gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Mr. Boricua eliminated: none eliminated by: Deuce Deuce Bigelow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall stomps away on Deuce on the mat, as Jumbo executes a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Vinny and Biff, then scoops Vinny up and dumps him over the top to the apron! However, as he attempts to bend over and push him off, Tony reaches up and grabs his shirt, pulling him to the floor! COACH COLE And Jumbo gone, courtesy of Tony from the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Jumbo eliminated: none eliminated by: Tony Tourettes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jumbo gets to his feet, and begins to chase Tony around the ring! Tony climbs inside, then runs to the other side and climbs over the top, then falls to the floor, eliminating himself! COLE And I guess Tony eliminated now, if he was ever in to begin with! Jumbo chases Tony all the back into the locker room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Tony Tourettes eliminated: Jumbo eliminated by: himself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the ring, MEL and Spanish Fly hit Faqu and Brock Ausstin, respectively, with dropkicks, sending them backwards into each other, at which point they turn around and face off! COACH Oh, look at this staredown, Cole! The crowd starts to eat it up, as Faqu throws his arms up as if to say "come on!" The MCHG interjects themselves, and get tossed to the floor on opposite sides! COLE And both members of the Homewrecking Crew hit the showers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Rico de Janiero eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Sweet Lucius Soul eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu and Brock then turn back to one another, and move in closer, until Cuban Wall attacks Brock from behind. Reggie Lamont hammers away on Faqu, but Faqu shrugs it off and delivers a headbutt, then tosses Reggie to the floor! COLE Another one gone, Reggie Lamont! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Reggie Lamont eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Strutter lands right on top of Reggie, via a backdrop! COLE And now Felix eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: "After Hours" Felix Strutter eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And Faqu on a roll here, looks like my prediction may be coming true, Cole! Faqu grabs MEL and MARV by their heads, and delivers a MASSIVE headbutt, then tosses BOTH over the top at the same time! COACH WOW! COLE And Faqu IS rolling here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th/10th elimination: The Christ Air Express eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the other side of the ring, Biff and Vinny attempt a double suplex on Brock, but Brock blocks, then powers out, and clotheslines BOTH to the floor! COLE But not to be outdone, Brock Ausstin sends Panic at the Disco packing! Fly attempts a flying bodypress, but Brock catches him, then moves him up to his shoulders, and executes an F-STUNNER-5 to the floor, right down on top of PATD! COLE A two-man show here in the 20-man battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th/12th elimination: Panic at the Disco eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Spanish Fly eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin Left in ring: Brock Ausstin, Cuban Wall, Denzel Spencer, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Faqu, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And just like that, we're down to seven men left! Wall drives a BIG BOOT~! into the face of Brock, as Black goes after Spencer, but gets attacked by O'Hara. Meanwhile, Faqu and Deuce engage in a slugfest in a corner! COLE Two big guys going at it here, who's going to blink first? Faqu gets the better of the slugfest, then scoops up Deuce for a big bodyslam! COLE And look at the power of the Samoan Wrecking Ball! Faqu lets out a yell, as Denzel leaps HIGH off the top and catches him with a bodypress! COACH Wow, did you see how high he got, Cole? Brock then grabs Denzel as he celebrates, and sets him up for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111, but Denzel slips behind Brock, then turns him around and grabs him around the neck, leaping up and putting his knees into his face, and falling back, driving them into Brock's face! COLE And a nice facebuster there, too! Wall then grabs Spencer from behind and tosses him over the top, but Spencer hangs on, and skins the cat! Wall sees this and makes his way over, but gets headscissored by Denzel! Wall is upside down on the top rope, when Jamie O'Hara flies over with a seated dropkick, sending him to the floor! COACH Oh no! COLE Cuban Wall eliminated! Down to six! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Cuban Wall eliminated: none eliminated by: Denzel Spencer, Jamie O'Hara ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH That's got to be an upset, Cole, I mean, Cuban Wall actually WON the Lethal Rumble match this year, he had to be a huge favorite coming into this! COLE Well Coach, as you know, anything can happen in one of these matches! O'Hara goes after Faqu, but Faqu sends him to the apron! He withstands a couple shots to Faqu, and fires some back! COLE Look at Jamie O'Hara fight here! Faqu seems to be backed off a bit, but suddenly Black delivers a big running knee to O'Hara, sending him to the floor! COACH WHOA~! COLE And Nathaniel Black, with a BIG knee strike, eliminating Jamie O'Hara! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15th elimination: Jamie O'Hara eliminated: Cuban Wall (co) eliminated by: Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Could be a big night for Cucaracha International here tonight! Deuce hammers away on Faqu some more, as Black goes to work on Brock. Deuce makes the mistake of trying to headbutt Faqu, and takes a thrust kick to the mush, sending him into the ropes, then Faqu charges in with a clothesline, sending Deuce to the floor! COLE Deuce is gone! Faqu dominant here in this battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th elimination: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated: Mr. Boricua eliminated by: Faqu Final Four: Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer, Faqu, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Final Four time, baby! Faqu and Black get together in a corner, while Spencer offers his partnership in the form of a handshake to Brock, who accepts. COLE And it looks like we're gonna tag off here! The four men move in, and Black and Faqu swing first, Denzel and Brock duck, and deliver right hands! Faqu and Brock brawl into a corner, while Denzel backs Black in and fires off rights, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Faqu approaches the corner, having got the better of his slugfest, but Denzel senses him coming, and flies back with a bodypress! COLE Look at Denzel go! However, Black makes his way over to Denzel, and pulls him off with the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 COLE Black with the crossface on Denzel Spencer! Faqu gets to his feet, and lays the boots into the open Denzel, then, as Black releases the hold, gives Brock another stomp, before joining Black in tossing Denzel to the floor! COLE And Denzel Spencer, a great effort, but he is eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated: Cuban Wall (co) eliminated by: Faqu, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And now we're down to three! COACH And Brock is in big trouble! Brock gets to his feet, and looks across at the smiling Black and at Faqu, who is ready for battle as always. COLE It's Brock Ausstin, in his return to the ring, in there against two members of Cucharacha Internacional! COACH Two of the reigning six-man tag champs, no less! Black and Faqu move in on Brock, who begins throwing right hands at both men! COLE But look at Brock fight the odds! However, Faqu interrupts with a thrust to the throat, then holds him for some big strikes from Black. COLE Brock wide open right now for Nate, who is known for his striking ability! Faqu and Black then set Brock up on the ropes, and attempt to dump him! COLE And Brock could go right here! However, Brock manages to deliver some big blows to the back of Faqu, and gets himself down, but Black rakes the eyes from behind. Black then holds Brock for Faqu, who lays in some chops and a headbutt. The two set up Brock on the ropes, and whip him across, but Brock ducks a clothesline, and floors them with a double clothesline of his own! COLE Brock right back once again! Brock starts to deliver some rights to Black, then goes for a big right, but Black ducks...which allows Brock to see Faqu coming with a kick, which he ducks, and Faqu drills Black! COACH Oh no! COLE And Faqu flooring his own stablemate with that thrust kick! Faqu looks down for a second, but Brock spins him around, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE BIG suplex from Brock, to the Samoan Wrecking Ball! As Black works his way to his feet, Brock whips Faqu into a corner, but Faqu bounces right out, and hits him with a Vader-esque body attack! Black then approaches Faqu...and slaps him right across the face! COLE Look at that! COACH Oh, come on, you guys! Faqu stalks Black around the ring, then traps him in a corner, and executes two big headbutts! COACH I don't believe this! Faqu then scoops Black up in a fireman's carry and tries to dump him, but Black goes to the eyes. Black slides down, and Brock charges with a clothesline. Black drops down, and Brock hits Faqu with the clothesline, sending him to the floor! COLE FAQU IS GONE! COACH Nooooo! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 18th elimination: Faqu eliminated: MISTER Warrior, Rico de Janiero, Reggie Lamont, Felix Strutter, The Christ Air Express, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Denzel Spencer (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin left in ring: Brock Ausstin, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The crowd cheers loudly, as Black ambushes Brock from behind, desperately throwing forearms and right hands, then backing into the ropes, and going for a clothesline... ...but Brock ducks, and lifts him for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 ...Black slips off, and goes for the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 ...but Brock spins out, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY, sending Black over the top, right onto Faqu on the floor! COLE THAT's IT! Brock Ausstin has won the battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19th elimination: Nathaniel Black eliminated: Jamie O'Hara, Denzel Spencer (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ****************************************************** WINNER: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Sweet Lucius Soul, Panic at the Disco, Spanish Fly, Faqu, Nathaniel Black ****************************************************** Brock walks around the ring, clenching his fists out to the sides while letting out a big yell. BUFFER The winner of the battle royal..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COACH I can't believe what just happened, Cole! Cucuaracha Internacional looks like they have it under control, and then a little in-fighting costs them the match! As Brock continues to celebrate, Faqu is trying to get back into the ring, as Black holds him back. James Blonde also comes out in his street clothes to hold back the Samoan Wrecking Ball. COLE Faqu wants back in there, but the match is over now! What a return by Brock Ausstin here at AngleSlam, the winner of the Riverwalk Invitational battle royal! Right now, Josh Matthews is telling us to cut to the back, Josh, are you there? The camera cuts to the parking lot, where a limo pulls in, and the Deadly Alliance climbs out, as the crowd in the arena boos. Josh makes a beeline for Reject. JOSH Yes, I'm here, Michael, and I've been waiting since Thursday to talk to you, Reject! Reject looks at Josh and sighs, then looks up at the rest of the DA. REJECT I'll catch up. Reject then looks back down at Josh. REJECT All right, little man, get it out of your system. JOSH I don't get it, Reject. What has been going through your mind lately? The things you've put everyone through...the way you hospitalized Molly Nerdly, the way you assaulted Megan Skye, the pain you've put Maggie and Leon through...have you ever thought about any... REJECT Stop right there, little man. JOSH It's Jo... REJECT Shut up. That last part you said...it's really funny to me. It's really funny, because throughout this whole saga, throughout all the verbal assaults on me, "oh, Reject's gone nuts! This man's just sadistic!"...no one's ever thought about what I've gone through over the last month. No one's ever stopped to ask me how I felt, after being betrayed, after being misled, after having my heart jerked out, tied to a car and dragged down the street. You see, I've suffered just like they have, probably even more. So, why did no one question their motives? Can you answer me that? JOSH ... REJECT I didn't think so. *looks at camera* REJECT What did you think, Leon? That you were just gonna fluke your way to victory in the Money in the Bank, and then I was just going to fade away? I was just gonna walk off, and let you two have your little fairy tale ending? WRONG. This isn't over. It'll never be over. JOSH So, I take it, no regrets? REJECT Regrets. The only regret I have, is that Maggie was carted from the ring on a stretcher, instead of a MEAT WAGON. *crowd boos* REJECT And I know what you're going to say. I'm such an uncaring bastard. Well, let's take a look at your hero, Leon. Here's a guy who couldn't even be bothered to walk to a training room and check on his viciously beaten girlfriend! But hey, that's OK, he's Leon Rodez, Mr. happy-go-lucky! He doesn't care! Check the specs thread, RODEZ DOES NOT GET ANGRY!!!!!! Reject then stares down at Josh, before smiling and putting his arm around him. REJECT So tell me...who should we really cheer for here, Josh? Josh slowly backs away from Reject, then reaches his hand out. JOSH Can I have my mic back? Reject holds the mic out to Josh...who kicks Reject in the nuts and runs away! COLE ALL RIGHT, JOSH~! Reject gathers his senses, then gets up and starts to charge after Josh, but runs right into four well-timed security guards who move him off the scene. COACH Cheer him now, Cole, he'll be found floating down the Medina River by the time this night's over!

To go on sometime after Baron's promo please. [b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size] [color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b] The music plays, the AS logo scrolls across the screen and OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is ready to go. BRANNIGAN Your final Angleslam shill is brought to you by the OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE~!, where the gossip is [I]so hot[/I] you need to wear ear muffs when calling! We are now only 3 nights away from the hottest event of the summer. This sizzling summer spectacular has been sold out for weeks, but you can still catch all the action live exclusively on pay-per-view. So make that call right now if you haven’t already done so. You don’t want to miss out on over 3 hours of nonstop entertainment featuring 9 incredible matches and a double main event! [b][color="#FF0000"]3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH SPECIAL TROUBLESHOOTING REFEREE? Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly vs. Zack Malibu & Leon Rodez[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Our first main event has the attention of the entire wrestling community. The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, back together on pay-per-view to meet the unholy trinity of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly in a match made in corporate greed! By now you know the story about this one. The Metrosexual Monster Bohemoth originally scheduled to join his fellow In Crowd members in battle, but he now faces an even bigger battle of his own after being accused of sexual assault by Mackenzie DeCenzo. A very serious accusation, to say the least. But as we heard earlier in the program, General Manager Josie Baker will assign a special troubleshooting referee to provide as level a playing field as possible with Bo out indefinitely. Let us not forget, it was Josie Baker who selected Abdullah Nerdly as the special referee for Zack Malibu’s match against Nathanial Black here two weeks ago and we know how that turned out. Her decision to be announced before we go off the air, so stay tuned for that. [b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP 60 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH Brickston w/Vitamin X vs. Tha Puerto Rican ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN In the second main event, reigning OAOAST Champion Tha Puerto Rican will defend the richest prize in our sport against the awesome force that is Brickston, led by the man The Champ ended the career of at the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X. [b][color="#FF0000"]RIVERWALK INVITATIONAL BATTLE ROYAL[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Kicking off the show, the Riverwalk Invitational 20 man over the top rope battle royal. Some of the participants already signed for this special attraction include the return of... Brock Ausstin Denzel Spencer Reggie Lamont "After Hours" Felix Strutter Jumbo Deuce Deuce Bigelow Jamie O'Hara The Christ Air Express Panic at the Disco The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew James Blonde Faqu Spanish Fly Cuban Wall Mr. Boricua BRANNIGAN ...plus two surprise entrants! [b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN The Women’s title will also be on the line at Angleslam. It was just last week that we saw the kind of training Jade Rodez has gone through to prepare mentally and physically for her title bout against the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Just being around the company J-Ro hangs with makes her mentally tough in my view! [color="#FF0000"][b]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN I for one still cannot believe what took place earlier tonight in regards to this one. Baron Windels was to join me for a live interview when he was ambushed by Mr. Dick backstage and--and... well, I’d rather not dignify that vile act. [color="#0000FF"][b]OAO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN In what could very well be the show stealer at Angleslam, for the One & Only World tag team championship, Reject & Thunderkid of the Deadly Alliance face the challenge of D*LUX and these men representing the Enterprise, "Box-Office" Simon Singleton and "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds. Instead of the Alamo we get the BHB CG backdrop. The famous Hollywood sign redone as Beverly Hills with Blonds underneath, stars shining bright around. Standing tall, Simon and Ned in their trademark silver vests. NED Do blondes really have more fun? That’s been the age old question, and if you would’ve asked us a few weeks ago the answer would’ve been hell yeah. But ever since Reject laid his hands on our assistant, we’ve given being the hottest tag team in sports entertainment a whole new meaning, because we’re still hot over what he did to Molly. SIMON I mean, good golly. The club hopping, the womanizing, the orgy parties have taken a backseat to a rededication of our craft. Friends and family have long come up to us asking when Ned and I were gonna do more than collect a six-figure paycheck from Theodore Moneymaker and become serious about being tag team champions again. Well that time has come. Sunday night at Angleslam we’re gonna put our names in the record books as having the most tag title reigns in OAOAST history. And Reject, if you think about laying your hands on Molly again, we got 3 words for you. [i]"CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"[/i] Molly jumps into view and dances along with the BHB to MC Hammer's early ‘90s smash hit, all rocking parachute pants. Then it’s back to business at the Shill Center. [color="#FF0000"][b]MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS Krista Isadora Duncan vs. Landon Maddix[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN I’m sure both participants in the OAOAST Championship bout will have a close eye on this one, to determine who gets $500,00 and a guaranteed contract at their title whenever they so wish, it’s the GLADDiator vs. the self-proclaimed "Savior of the OAOAST" Landon Maddix. [b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Following his [I]despicable[/I] stunt two weeks ago, James Cone managed to get one of the stipulations to the Devil’s Playground match removed. Here’s how it all happened. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color] August 15, 2008[/b] [quote]PHOENIX (talking over the boos of the crowd) Excuse me! Sly...we made a deal last week. I get you an opponent, you wrestle the opponent no-DQ, and if you lose, I get to remove something from the Devil's Playground. I searched high and low, all across the world to get you someone big and bad...the tallest, the heaviest, the toughest, the roughest...and none of them were good enough. I'm smarter than everyone here...I couldn't do it. I couldn't just go and get some badass because you would expect it. I'm taking you out of your gameplan. Without further ado, meet your opponent for this evening! Out comes...a GIRL SCOUT?!?!? COLE What on God's Green Earth... Sly's jaw drops and he looks at the referee and mouths "Is this legal?" PHOENIX Here she is...(leans down) What's your name? GIRL My name's Mindy! PHOENIX Mindy, how old are you? MINDY I'm EIGHT YEARS OLD! PHOENIX You hear that, Sly? (Stands back up) Eight whole years old! Sly Sommers, tonight...are you man enough to beat up this eight-year-old girl! The crowd boos Phoenix, as he sends the little girl to the ring. The little girl skips to the ring with a big smile on her face as she carries her cookies in a box, then is helped into the ring by the referee. COACH This is the weirdest thing ever. Sly Sommers has to fight a little girl in a No-DQ match. *BELL RINGS* Sly bends down to her eye level. The camera gets in close to hear what he's in saying... SLY I won't fight you. I don't know what the mean man on the top of the ramp paid you to do this, but let's just go backstage and I'll get you autographs, does that sound good? MINDY Okay! Hey mister, do you want one of my cookies? SLY Don't mind if I... Sly opens the box and a flame shoots out, hitting him right in the face! He goes down, holding his eye, and Mindy jumps on him for the cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING* BUFFER Your winner...um...MINDY? PHOENIX Bro, bro...that was awesome! Feelin' the heat? *cackles* (Referees and officials rush past Phoenix, holding wet towels to put on Sly's face) Dude, I'm going to have so much fun watching the replay. (Phoenix slides in the ring, hands Mindy money) Thanks, sweetie. Go on, run to the back...I got some of my friends to pay for some of those delicious cookies too! *giggles to himself as Mindy runs off* Bro, I come out on top yet again. Because of that...HOT little number, I get to remove one of the stipulations from that silly Devil's Playground match we're having at Angleslam. Personally, I don't like glass...so let's get rid of that whole deal with the lighttubes in the trash can hanging from the ceiling of the cell. Capice? *giggles to himself as the referees ask him to leave*[/quote] BRANNIGAN You can imagine the complaints OAOAST headquarters was flooded with after that one. Last but certainly not least, rounding out the card another big grudge match. After locking lips with her brother’s arch rival, just how impartial will the lovely Evelyn Maguire be officiating the match between Junior and Jereme Grey? [b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH GUEST REFEREE EVELYN MAGUIRE Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN The days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds are ticking down. For all you moms and dads out there, with the little ones heading back to school, enjoy one last summer family activity with Angleslam. Don’t be left out in the heat. Stay in, crank up the AC and purchase the 2008 edition of Angleslam live exclusively on pay-per-view! Wait a minute, I’m being told General Manager Josie Baker has made a decision in regards to the special troubleshooting referee in the handicap match apart of our double main event. I believe she’s standing by in her office. So without any further ado, let’s go to Josie Baker. Inside Josie‘s office, she places her signature on a document before putting out her cigarette, then looks into the camera. JOSIE After careful consideration, I have concluded there’s only one person qualified to officiate a match-up the caliber of that signed featuring Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez against Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly. This person arguably knows the OAOAST better than anyone in the world, including Zack Malibu himself, and is someone who has both the trust of fans and OAOAST management alike. It’s for those reasons I have selected Tony Brannigan to serve as the special troubleshooting referee for one-half of our double main event at Angleslam. That is all. BRANNIGAN :o COACH Tony Brannigan?! COLE I don’t think he can believe it himself. Suddenly THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears next to Brannigan at the Shill Center. MONEYMAKER Cousin! Great to see you again. I was just in the neighborhood and though I’d drop by to congratulate you on landing the most coveted job opening this side of the office of president of the United States. In the time it was announced a special referee would be assigned to the unholy trinity’s match, as you so amusingly called us, I heard Josie Baker’s phone was ringing off the hook. The calls, the text messages from people of all walks of life badly wanting that gig, including Fred Thompson but he jumped in too late. BWAHAHA! Important as your job is, like being president of the United States, it comes with a lot of pressure. But I don’t want the fact we’re family to interfere with you calling the match down the middle. (pulls out roll of $100 bills) After all, your job is as easy as... *stuffing bills in Brannigan’s breast pocket * ... 1-2-3. Of course for [I]extra incentives[/I], you’d then raise my team’s hands in victory. Again, congratulations, cousin. BWAHAHAHAHA! Moneymaker exits. Brannigan counts the bills stuffed in his suit, $300 to symbolize counting 1-2-3 at Angleslam. COLE In his own twisted way, did Theodore Moneymaker just offer BRIBE MONEY to Tony Brannigan?! COACH It’s just like you to think that, Mikey, the little conspiracy theorist that you are. What I saw was a family reunion. Two men putting their differences aside to co-exist in a dangerous world. If only Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez could understand that concept. COLE To recap very quickly, ladies and gentlemen. Tony Brannigan has been named the special troubleshooting referee for The Usual Suspects-Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abullah Nerdly match at Angleslam, and pretty much received a bribe from the Billion Dollar Heir. COACH There you go again. For all we know Teddy owned debt to his cousin. COLE Yeah, sure. Thursday night will continue to be HeldDOWN~! after this timeout.

Our PPVs are usually delayed a day or two, so I'd say Tuesday at the latest.

Back after a few weeks hiatus, the world famous interview stage and its guardian Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming my guest this week, who Sunday night at Angleslam will square off against his former tag team partner in a Texas Bullrope match... BARON WINDELS! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The music plays, but no Baron. Puzzled like the rest of us, Brannigan introduces Windels again, the music restarting. Still nobody. COLE What’s going on here? This is certainly uncharacteristic of Baron. COACH Maybe he chickened out of the match at Angleslam. And who could blame him? Have you seen what’s happened in our promotions when a fan favorite returns home? Our questions are answered as we head backstage and see Baron Windels being WHIPPED by MR. DICK while CUFFED TO A CHAIN LINK FENCE. COLE The hell?! Welts and lacerations soon appear on the back of Baron Windels as Mr. Dick lays in with a heavy BULLROPE. Baron drops to his knees and Mr. Dick unzips his pants. Filming the Human Hard-On from the waist up we hear a THUMPING sound. MR. DICK (grunting) Come on, big boy. You ain't so bad now, are you? UNH! [b]* SPLAT *[/b] OAOAST officials come running into the picture, but it's too little too late. Baron Windels humiliated in front of a worldwide audience. MR. DICK (zipping up pants, laughing) Can you feel them swimming? COACH There’s something about Baron and it stinks right about now! COLE What a reprehensible act Mr. Dick just committed. There will be hell to pay come Sunday night at Angleslam I assure you. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLESLAM 2008[/color] [color="#0000FF"]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH[/color] TWO SAN ANTONIO BOYS HOOK UP: BARON WINDELS Vs MISTER DICK [color="#FF0000"]AUGUST 31st 2008[/color][/font]

All of a sudden I don't feel too bad about having to write a bunch of segments for HD and a couple of matches for AS. I'm not alone. We all have tons of stuff to write this week! What to expect for HD: Baron Windels promo Final AS Shill (if anybody wants something included for this, send it to me)

The hot streak continues. Only two matches but it honestly felt like more. Hmm. Possible dissention in the ranks of CI? And then you have Alf rallying his troops, with a peace offering of sorts by the Burrough Boys. Fantastic Malaysia promo. Funny stuff at the end with Coach. Alf vs. Landon, MITB: Heck of a match. I tell you, with Reject's new attitude I could see him becoming a main event player. Landon's post-match antics were hysterical, caring more about the win than his girl. Referencing an angle done on SYN?! at Biff and Vinny's run-in with Los Diablos. Rodez to Hell? Greatest title ever! How Patty finds ways to top himself I don't know. I bet temperatures drop whenever Zack and Josie are in the same room. Big match signed for AS. CW puts his former bodyguard in his place, and then Bo with heavy words. Rico vs. Jamie: Fine TV main event. Cliffhanger ending! MOTN: Alf vs. Landon Maddix QOTS: "And I know that when you get out there with all those tables, and ladders, and chairs, your eyes light up like Leon Rodez at a Nerdly family reunion." -- Alfdogg

Sorry I didn't answer you sooner. Just now checked this thread again. To answer your question, unfortunately not. The Shill Centers are done bi-weekly, so the next one wouldn't be till next week's show.

Just a short -- and I do mean short -- promo for this week. We cut over to the guys at Sofa Central to give them a little more face time. COLE Fans, in just a few short minutes we’re going to be hearing from Mr. Dick for the first time since he was... COACH Publicly lynched. But like Clint Eastwood, he survived. Heaven didn’t need to be reamed yet. COLE How do you follow something like that up? COACH By going straight to the video! And so we do, to Mr. Dick enjoying a beautiful summer afternoon out in the backyard sunbathing, the sprinklers going off around him. MR. DICK Baron Windels, real big tough guy you are violently attacking me -- following a grueling match no less. You gotta be feeling mighty proud about yourself. If not for my giant dick supplying blood to my brain I would’ve been a goner for sure. But if you think for one second you’re little stunt did anything to rattle my psyche, you’re dead wrong. So you got to extract a measure of revenge. Big deal. You’ve won nothing but a tiny skirmish in a large war. Though I can’t help but wonder where this Baron Windels was back when the Lone Star Gunslingers rode together. Had that S.O.B. been around we’d still be tag team champions today. That’s all in the past though, just like you'll be once I get through with you. Like I said last time Baron, Angleslam will be your last stand. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet again sooner than you think. Fade out.

Yep. We stopped doing it because of space issues IIRC. The thread would get too big.

Another quality show. You had the Maguire/Gray feud advance, Malaysia dominate once again, Brickston look like a monster, Duncan Girls awesomeness, and epic matches in Krista-Leon and Zack/Black. But my favorite part of the show had to be the stuff with Sly and James Cone. Genius. Sorry for the half-assed feedback this week, but I want to get a head start on my AS match, which I probably won't end up writing till the week of the show anyway!

Whoops! My bad. Left feedback in the wrong thread!

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size] [color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b] Cue that fun summertime music with a western flair as the AS logo swoops across the screen. Awaiting us inside the Shill Center, OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan, still dressed like a tourist for those who care. BRANNIGAN Hi again, everyone, or in honor of this year’s Lone Star State edition of Angleslam -- howdy! We are now just 2 weeks away from the hottest event of the summer. The date: Sunday night, August 31 live exclusively on pay-per-view from the sold out Alamodome in San Antonio. Since I last shilled Angleslam to you there have been plenty of new developments. And here’s one of them, as first reported this past weekend on the OAOAST Hot Newzline… [b][color="#FF0000"]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN …the former Lone Star Gunslingers will now duel in a Texas bull rope match! This coming on the heels of what occurred here last week when the Human Hard-On -- his term not mine -- got roped and hung! Well hung you can say. Mr. Dick hot under the short shorts following that incident, pushing hard for Josie Baker to suspend Baron Windels indefinitely! But our esteem new General Manager would have none of that, citing Mr. Dick’s own comments about this being the final opportunity for Baron Windels to prove he’s man enough to handle The Dick in her decision. Right now let’s hear from the original Lone Star Gunslinger, Baron Windels. The Alamo at nighttime serves as the backdrop for Baron Windels, a BULLROPE in hand. BARON I see all those yoga classes did you real well, Jock, because you’re currently gagging on your own dick! On Sunday night, August 31 you and I will be joined at the wrist by this (holds up bull rope). There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. It’s gonna be you and me at the same place at the same time. Better yet, there won’t be none of this touch all 4 corners junk. You gotta earn it the old fashion way…by PINNING your man. I bet you must’ve cum yourself in fear when you first got the news because as you found out the hard way last week, you'll be stepping in the ring with a new and improved Baron Windels. One that no longer gives a damn about playing by the rules! In times of war people say take the moral highroad because stooping to the tactics of your enemy makes you no better. Well sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. We all got a dark side hidden deep down somewhere. Mr. Dick helped bring my out. Now it’s time to finish what I started. Last chance, huh? More like your last breath, Dick. We cut to Brannigan in the studio. BRANNIGAN This “new” Baron Windels is one I’d be very worried about if I were Mr. Dick and all the other superstars here in the OAOAST. [b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia Nerdly[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Announced right here last week, second generation superstar Jade Rodez to challenge reigning OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia Nerdly. It was only a little over a month ago that these two met, with Malaysia emerging victorious in dominate fashion. But after a mother/daughter talk, Krista Isadora Duncan has agreed to share the secrets of her success, if you will, with young Jade. Will that knowledge combined with youthful exuberance be enough to dethrone the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns? We’ll find out August 31. [b][color="#FF0000"]ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & TK[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Oh, my. You can expect the 65,000-plus strong expected to attend Angleslam to be on their edge of their seats for this one. With tables, ladders and chairs involved, Deadly Alliance members Reject & Thunderkid defend their title against Enterprise representatives the Beverly Hills Blonds and D*LUX. This is as much for revenge as it is for the tag team championship of the world. Allow me to refresh your memory. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color] Last Week[/b] [quote]However, the referee is still focused on the ring, where TK has Tyler set up in a front facelock, when Jade Rodez hops onto the apron! COACH Get her down, ref! TK looks over at Jade, then drops Tyler to the mat and stalks to the apron. COLE And Jade had better get down now! Jade points the finger in the face of TK, who grabs Jade by the wrist, then pulls her in and plants a big kiss on her! COACH Can you believe this? Jade just [i]kissed[/i] TK! Bitches'll go to any lengths to get the winner's purse! COLE :rolleyes: Jade responds with a SLAP to TK's face! COLE She didn't kiss him that time! Upon seeing this, Reject slides into the ring and grabs Jade by the hair, yanking her in over the top rope! COLE And look at this, Reject manhandling Jade Rodez! Give me a break! Jade holds her hair as she gets to her feet, and backs away from Reject, but backs right into TK, who pulls his fist back, causing her to fall to the mat, at which point Reject grabs her legs and starts to apply the R-LOCK! COLE Oh, no, don't do this! Reject turns Jade over and locks in the hold! Jade immediately begins to tap, until Tyler flies in with a clothesline to Reject! COLE And thank God, Tyler Bryant breaks it up! Jade rolls out of the ring, and retreats to the locker room, as TK hits Tyler with a BICYCLE KICK, then Reject and TK lay the boots to him as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TK drapes Simon's left arm over the top rope, then pushes him against the ropes with his foot and extends his right arm out. Reject then climbs to the top rope. COACH Oh, this is an old Ole & Arn trick! COLE They could break the arm with this, dislocate the shoulder, who knows! However, Molly Nerdly jumps onto the apron, and uses all her strength to shove Reject off the top rope! COLE :lol: Molly just shoved Reject off the top rope, can you believe that? COACH No, she didn't! She was up there tryin' to cop a feel on the R-Man, and it just startled him, he fell off! Reject quickly gets to his feet, and locks eyes with Molly, who has just realized what she's done. COACH See, he's fine! COLE Yeah, but what about Molly? TK grabs Molly by the arm and drags her through the ropes, as Reject approaches her. Reject then nods at TK...who picks up Molly in a hangman's hold! COLE Oh no, not this! COACH OK...I gotta admit now, this is going a little far. Reject gives one last stomp to Simon, then turns around and does the "sizing her up" hand gesture, then backs up... COLE Oh no... ...and LAYS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK INTO THE ABDOMEN OF MOLLY NERDLY!!! COLE OH MY GOD. Molly drops to the mat and turns to her side, holding her ribs while screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. COLE Get some EMTs down there, RIGHT NOW. Reject walks over to the main camera and gives an evil stare.[/quote] BRANNIGAN (shaking head) Deplorable! As somebody who’s done his fair share of shady things in the past, there’s no way I’d ever lay my hand on a woman unless it was a sanction match. I’m probably not alone in hoping the Blonds and D*LUX can put their differences aside, at least for a short while, to teach Reject and TK a lesson. I get sick just thinking about what they did. [b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND[/color] [color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN And I have a feeling a lot of people will be sick after seeing the match dubbed the Devil‘s Playground for its barbaric stipulations. This one certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. [b][color="#FF0000"]INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN For the revived Intercontinental Title, as order by HeldDOWN~! General Manager Josie Baker, Colin Maguire Jr. and Jereme Grey will look to finally settle their score in a no disqualification bout. If fighting for pride and the title wasn’t enough already, Evelyn Maguire will serve as guest referee! Needless to say, Colin was none too pleased about that. The music cues as Brannigan wraps it up. BRANNIGAN As always, be sure to visit our website daily and stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information as it becomes available. I’ll see you again in two weeks to shill Angleslam one last time before the big event on Sunday night, August 31. Don’t wait till the last minute, though. Call your local cable or satellite company and order Angleslam right now!

Whatever you want it to be. The days of "building" sets, if you will, are pretty much over. No ramp this month though.

Another jam packed show this week. The OAOAST is clicking on all cylinders right now. Malaysia dominated poor Kelly. Very impressive squash. Didn’t get the Max Mosley reference, but figured it probably had something to do with a dominatrix since Malaysia was involved in the match, which a Google search proved correctly. More goodness from the Duncan girls. Their segments are better than most stuff on TV. at the DA spot for HD. MITB matches: Both were really good, especially Bo vs. Alf. The Zack/Theodore segment was grade A stuff. I marked out over it. Never got to say this last time, but I dig The Love Shack logo. One word describes this week‘s LS: awesome. It started lighthearted and got serious as it went on. Loved the part where Leon admits he doesn’t have the IC catchphrase memorized yet and the bit about the cat screensaver from Cole. One win and Cooper’s starting to get a big head. But man did he ever receive a reality check in his match against Nathanial Black. Then you had the post-match stuff with James Cone. All kinds of things going down in Alf’s interview. Maddix wants Bo out, Alf takes exception to being viewed by Maddix as the easier of his next possible opponents in the MITB, and then Alf talking smack about Bo only to come face to face with the Metrosexual Monster. You gotta love a company that makes so much money we can afford to destroy a plasma TV. But it showed even heels have feelings. Triple Threat Match: Heck of a match with Reject going nuts at the end. The Maguires/Sophie segment was something. Damn. It wasn’t good to be a woman on the roster this week. MOTN: Alfdogg vs. Bohemoth QOTS: “The whole point of the contract is you can use it when it's most convenient for you. You say to a guy 'oh, hey, I'm gonna cash my contract in in about three weeks, give you a few weeks to prepare...', might as well say 'hey, while I'm at it, here's a copy of my last five matches on DVD and a list of my personal fears and dislikes for you to study, good luck!'“ -- Coach on the ideal time to cash in the MITB contract

[color="#00FF00"][b]* BANG * * BANG *[/b][/color] The loud explosion startles fans, but it’s back to normal when a cloud of [b][color="#9932CC"]purple haze[/color][/b] is released, bringing them to their feet as the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS burst out on the stage to the tune of “Rise Against“ by Like the Angels. COLE Talk about kicking things off with a bang. Wow! COACH I can barely hear myself think. COLE :hm: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! COACH What?! COLE I said what a match-up this should be. Instead of getting booed out of the building like they would’ve been 6 months ago, the CAE are cheered wildly. A sign their new stoner lifestyle has done wonders for their popularity. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Laguna Beach, California, and weighing 185 pounds soaking wet, one-half of the wildly popular Christ Air Express… MMMMEEEELLLL!!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The CAE flash the RAWK~! sign to let the fans know of their appreciation. COLE The brothers from Laguna Beach receiving love from the City of Brotherly Love, which is no easy feat. COACH It ain’t gonna get any easier for MEL tonight, that’s for sure. I can’t believe that idiot had the balls to challenge him. What happened at the Big Apple Spectacular was between Mr. Dick and Baron Windels. He’s got nothing to do with it. COLE Baron’s a good friend of the Christ Air Express and their sister Melody, who’s still his manager I might add. COACH Yeah, and to Baron’s credit he hasn’t interfered in her affairs -- all 100 of them! “My Dick” hits and Mr. Dick isn‘t just showered with boos, golden pyro rains down on him from the ceiling! The Cocky Prick solo as depending on where this is placed Malaysia is preparing for her Women’s title defense, reeling from her defeat or enjoying a little R&R after a successful title defense. BUFFER His opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 242 pounds… MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Mr. Dick enters the ring, tosses his glittery cowboy hat aside and tells MEL to bring it. MARV high fives his brother and exits. COACH How fair is this? You don’t see Malaysia ringside. Why should MARV be allowed to stay? I seriously doubt he has a manager’s license. COLE Obviously referee Clem Buzzlefoxer has deemed MARV is no risk to interfere. COACH Now that I think about it, old man Buzzlefoxer is right. MARV is no threat to Mr. Dick. Just look at ‘em. Mr. Dick would squash him like a bug. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and both men lockup mid-ring. Mr. Dick goes behind and takes MEL down to the mat with a waistlock, then paintbrushes him to the cheers of a vocal minority. All too used to this kind of bullying MEL has a few choice words for the Cocky Prick. Mr. Dick backs off…then shoves MEL to the mat and drops an elbow, but nobody’s home! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MEL grabs a side headlock and quickly is shot off, decked by a standing dropkick on the rebound. Rammed into the buckle MEL is then hammered in the corner. Whipped out he ducks a clothesline and returns with a flying head scissors, followed by a dropkick and VICTORY ROLL! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Both rush to their feet and Mr. Dick lands a kick. He fires MEL across and drives the knee… NO, MEL ROLLS HIM UP IN A SCHOOL BOY! COLE Oh, what a counter! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! On the wrong end of a side headlock takeover, Mr. Dick raises his shoulder off the mat to prevent an accidental pin. Trapped square in the middle of the ring, he rolls MEL onto his back in a cradle! ONE… TWO… And only two, as MEL regains his position. Mr. Dick returns to a vertical base and executes a back suplex to break free. After being violently reintroduced to the turnbuckle MEL reverses an Irish whip and delivers a BAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd ROARS as MEL signals for one of his signature moves, MELANOMA…but when he scoops Mr. Dick up the Cocky Prick floats over and spikes him into the canvas with PURE PENETRATION!! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Reverse chinlock is applied and MEL begins kicking and screaming as Mr. Dick holds onto the bottom rope with his legs for extra leverage, drawing the ire of MARV and fans alike. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COACH Why all the whining, Cole? Don’t the people see MARV trying to incriminate Mr. Dick by shaking the ropes? COLE :rolleyes: “LET’S GO MEL!” “LET’S GO MEL!” “LET’S GO MEL!” The adrenaline flowing and the blood pumping MEL starts his comeback, fighting out of the now side headlock with a series of elbows to the gut, but it’s short-lived however, as Mr. Dick rakes the eyes and goes back to the chinlock following a snap mare. COLE MEL just can’t catch a break right now. What a beating he’s sustained the last few minutes. COACH Similar to the one Baron Windels will receive Sunday night, August 31 at Angleslam. MEL wraps his hands around Mr. Dick’s head and sits down with a JAWBREAKER! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick staggers into a SPINNING HEEL KICK and is covered! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! MEL wrings the arm for the NOSEPLANT…but Mr. Dick answers with an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP and CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!! COLE The Cock Shock! COACH Clem doesn’t even need to bother making the count, just ring the bell. The cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What heart being displayed by MEL here tonight. Win or lose, he can be proud of his performance. COACH There’s no such thing as moral victories in wrestling, Mikey. Sent for the ride, MEL leaps onto the middle turnbuckle and fakes a diving cross body block, causing Mr. Dick to drop down. When he pops back up MEL connects with a MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Fired up, MEL unloads with a series of overhand chops. Mr. Dick reverses and Irish whip…and MEL spikes him with a SWINGING BULLDOG! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Slammed near the corner Mr. Dick gets the KNEES up as MEL comes down with the SHOOTING STAR PRESS, then dumps him through the ropes into MARV to add insult to injury! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE What a cheap shot! COACH I’d say. If MEL has beef with MARV he should handle it privately and not in front of the cameras. COLE :stupid: Mr. Dick tosses MEL back in for THE COCK BLOCK! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Though the match is over, Mr. Dick isn’t done yet. He lays into MEL some more, knocking MARV off the apron as he tries to help his big brother. “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Like they had his back a few weeks ago, BARON WINDELS has the Christ Air Express’. With a BULLROPE in his possession, the Lone Star Gunslinger blindsides his former partner with the attached COWBELL, slicing Mr. Dick open! COACH You wanna talk about a cheap shot. [I]There[/I] was a cheap shot. Clem Buzzlefoxer attempts to restrain Baron, but the look in his eyes makes him think better of it. Pleading for mercy in the corner, a bloody Mr. Dick receives none and is HUNG OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! COLE Baron Windels has snapped! COACH He ought to be fined and suspended, Cole. You can kill a man this way. Not even the CAE can pry BW off Mr. Dick. More OAOAST officials rush out from the back to gain control of the situation, but Baron’s a man possessed. It’s only until MALAYSIA appears that BW releases Mr. Dick…and that’s so he can invite her in to fight! Officials and the CAE intervene before it can reach that point. Mr. Dick helped backstage by Malaysia. COLE Oh, man. We desperately need to take a break after that. There’s nothing more I can say about what just took place. We’ll be back.

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size] [color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b] Until we select an official theme song, fun summertime music with a western flair welcomes us inside OAOAST studios where Tony Brannigan (who’s traded in his blazer for a Hawaiian shirt) stands on the right side of a sunset backdrop many would recognize from our previous AS logo while the new logo along with time/date is seen on the left. BRANNIGAN Here to shill the 2008 edition of Angleslam on HeldDOWN~!, I’m Tony Brannigan. The sun may be setting on the summer, but the OAOAST plans on sending it out with a bang Sunday night, August 31st from the Alamodome in my hometown of San Antonio, Texas. Now the event is already sold out, but you can still catch all the action exclusively on pay-per-view from the comfort on your own home. [b][color="#008000"]MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS[/color] [color="#808000"]Winner to receive guaranteed OAOAST Championship match and $500,000[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN One of the matches on tap for that big event will determine who receives a [i]HALF-A-MILLION DOLLARS[/i] from tournament sponsor Theodore Moneymaker’s own pocketbook -- but more importantly a guaranteed contract to face whoever the OAOAST Champion is. It should be noted this contact can be used, or cashed in, so to speak, at [I]anytime[/I], meaning we could see the champ successfully DEFEND and LOSE the title all in the same night! A tactic the previous Money in the Bank winner Landon Maddix employed to win the OAOAST Championship from Zack Malibu last June. [b][color="#FF0000"]MR. DICK[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]BARON WINDELS[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN How about this one? In front of the hometown faithful, Baron Windels to get another crack at former partner Mr. Dick. This all stems from the incident that occurred one week ago at the Big Apple Spectacular that left Baron Windels not just bloody and bruised...but humiliated! [b][color="#FF0000"]<<[/color] [color="#0000FF"]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color] [color="#FF0000"]<<[/color][/b] [b][color="#FFA500"]Courtesy:[/color] Big Apple Spectacular[/b] [quote]V.I.C.E. tag and Detective Bosley sets Baron for the NYPD-DT…but Windels blocks the suplex and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * The CAE jump on Baron in celebration only to be attacked by CPA who dumps them outside while Mr. Dick WHIPS the Lone Star Gunslinger with Malaysia’s CAT O‘NINE TAILS. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” It’s only until after Mr. Dick has had fun that officials are let in to tend to Baron Windels, his back bloody from the lashings he received.[/quote] BRANNIGAN Although both happen to reside in the River City, there’s little doubt as to who the hometown favorite will be, something Mr. Dick knows very well. Have a listen. The Alamo at night serves as the backdrop for Mr. Dick and OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia. MR. DICK Whoever said you can’t go home again was exactly right, because it won’t be a homecoming when I return to the town where I was a high school football hero a villain. I’ll still compete in front of a packed house, but the adulation of the fans will be reversed for one man, Baron Windels. (scoffs) What a glutton for punishment this guy is, Malaysia. No matter how bad I beat him he keeps coming back for more, which is good for a couple of people who love to inflict pain like us. A pain that’s as much mental as it is physical because let’s face it: Baron can’t handle The Dick. He tries like a Special Olympian, but in the end he’s still a retard! MALAYSIA :o MR. DICK Just as the Alamo was the last stand for William Travis and his men, the Alamodome will be yours Baron. It’s time for Mr. Dick to move on to bigger and better things without having to drag you along for the ride as I did all those years we teamed. Win, lose or draw, it ends for you at Angleslam. We cut back to Tony Brannigan in the studio. BRANNIGAN I for one cannot wait to see that encounter Sunday night, August 31st. Oh, my, and let’s not forget this big one, where get this -- the only win to win is by rendering your opponent DEFENSELESS! [b][color="#FF0000"]NO ROPE BARBED WIRE[/color] [color="#0000FF"]FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES[/color] [color="#8B0000"]HELL IN A CELL MATCH[/color] [color="#FF0000"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Sly Sommers [/color][/b] BRANNIGAN As you’ll recall, because James Cone can legally turn down a match against anyone ranked lower than him in the Top 10, Sly Sommers was unable to get a match with his nemesis so he handpicked young -- and winless -- Cooper Riley to meet Cone at the Big Apple Spectacular. If Riley was somehow able to pull off the upset then Sommers would face Cone in a match of his choosing at Angleslam. Here is how it all went down. [b][color="#FFA500"]Courtesy:[/color] Big Apple Spectacular[/b] [quote]James Cone signals that he has had it! He waits for Cooper to rise to his feet...THROWS THE LUNAR KICK! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.... ...SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, COOPER RILEY KNOWS THE REVERSAL! He performs a soccer-style slide tackle under the kick, on Cone's other leg! Riley gets up and kicks Cone as hard as he can in the face, soccer ball-style! He then goes up to the top rope...FRONT FLIP DOUBLE STOMP! HE GOES FOR THE COVER! ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE! COLE WHAT? TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COACH NO WAY! NO WAY! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *DING DING* THE CROWD GOES NUTS! BUFFER YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR WINNNNNNNNERRRRR....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERRRRR RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! Cooper slides out of the ring and leaps into Sly's arms! The place is coming down! COLE Wha...whaa....WHAT? This under-150 pound kid from West Lafayette, Indiana has just scored a clean pinfall victory over one of the top ten ranked wrestlers in the WORLD! [i]* CLIP *[/i] COACH GUYS! GUYS! Folks, I'm here with Sly Sommers and the Miracle Kid...Cooper Riley! *crowd cheers louder* Um...WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!?!? COOPER Um...um...I believed in myself and Sly believed in me, and this happened! OH MY GOD! SLY My words exactly! But kid...I knew you had it in you! Congrats! *hugs Cooper, then looks at Phoenix* So bro, wonder how someone who trained under me, a guy who doesn't know how to avoid that kick of yours, knew how to reverse it? Let's just say that palling around with the master of the superkick in this company has its perks... Phoenix pitches a fit in the ring! SLY Settle down, young man. Settle down. There's no need to throw a fit because there's nothing you can do about it...I've unlocked Pandora's Box, my friend. You and I are back on even ground. You might have proved me wrong about not having what it takes to be a top guy in this sport...but you made it personal, boy! COACH So, since Cooper pulled out the upset of the year, you get Phoenix at Angleslam with any stipulation of your choice... SLY Yes; yes I do. I'm not going to wait to tell the world what I have in mind. I'm not going to leave you drooling in anticipation, Phoenix. At Angleslam...*pauses*...we're going to have a straight-up match. One on one, singles match, all that jazz...(Phoenix visibly breathes a sigh of relief) COACH Um, okay? Well, there you have it: Sly Sommer... SLY Wait, I almost forgot something. Those ropes? They're going to have to go during our match. They're gawdy and they're just going to get in the way. COACH The way of what? PHOENIX (un-mic'd) YEAH! THE WAY OF WHAT??!?! SLY The way of strand upon strand of flesh-ripping, blood-shedding, unforgiving BARBED WIRE! *the fans applaud* COACH NO ROPE BARBED WIRE AT ANGLESLAM?!?!?! SLY No, no, no, bro. Not just that. PHOENIX NOT JUST THAT?!?!?! SLY Nah, man. See, I don't want these fans getting hurt by what I'm going to do to you, so we're going to put up...the HELL IN THE CELL! Why? I don't want shards of glass going into the crowd! PHOENIX SHARDS OF GLASS?!?!? SLY Oh yeah, man, I kinda forgot. Hanging from the ceiling of the cell will be a trash can. What's special about a trash can, right? Well, this trash can will be filled with FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES! We're going to put a couple of ladders at ringside too. You grab the trash can using the ladder to climb, you bring down the tubes, and they're fair game to hurt your opponent with! PHOENIX WHAT THE HELL?!?!? SLY One more thing: no submit. No surrender. No pinfalls. The only way to win is to be left defenseless. You have to be bruised, bloodied, wounded, and unconcious. If the referee deems you unable to continue, only then is the match over! I don't want you taking the (bleep) way out and tapping out to a headlock! This crap ends at Angleslam! One of us is leaving on a stretcher! Phoenix...you were treading on the proverbial devil's playground when you turned on me...but now, you're going to be in the real Devil's Playground...good luck![/quote] BRANNIGAN Also on the card… [b][color="#FF0000"]INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE[/color] [color="#0000FF"]NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH[/color] [color="#FF0000"]Colin Maguire, Jr[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Jereme Grey[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Be sure to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information regarding Angleslam. It’s the hottest event of the summer and it comes to you LIVE exclusively on pay-per-view Sunday night, August 31st. With gas prices reported at record highs across this great land of ours, stay in and beat the pain at the pump -- and the heat! -- with 3 hours of nonstop entertainment the whole family will love. Don’t you dare miss Angleslam!

That was actually last week's AS Shill Center. I may or may not do another one this week, depends on how long it'll take me to get my match done. But I appreciate the heads up.

Mr. Dick vs. MEL And maybe another AS Shill Center.