Tony149

And now, the [b][color="#FFA500"]OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK[/color][/b], presented by [b][color="#FF0000"]Beauty Crush[/color][/b], the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! [b]LAST WEEK[/b] [quote]Mulligan signals out Baron with a quick thumbs up as he ascends to the top…ONLY TO SLIP AND FALL HARD!!! COACH Did you see that?! COLE See what? COACH Baron shook the rope and caused Jock to fall. COLE He did not! * CLIP JOB * 1) CW stomps Jock 2) Delivers super kick and breaks pin as the referee is about to make 3 count 3) Taunts Baron and Melody before spiking Jock with a piledriver, then a Stun Gun COLE Nick Patrick ought to seriously consider ending the damn match. Wright could have picked up the victory seconds ago, but now he’s trying to injury this young man for no good reason. COACH Jock’s the one who demand the match. I guess that falls into the category of be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. BARON :angry: The Natural dares Baron to step in, but Melody pleads with him not to. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” JOCK :huh: COACH What a great shot that is. The light’s are on, but nobody’s home! At the urging of Melody, Baron tosses in Jock’s white jacket to end the match. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Finally some common sense being shown around here. "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” COLE The fans don’t agree with Baron’s decision, but it was the right move. Jock’s career was not only on the line but so was his well being. He’s gotta have a concussion.[/quote] Located backstage at our interview area, OAOAST special correspondent Tony Brannigan with the Lone Star Gunslingers and Melody Nerdly. TONY Guys, we’ve seen the footage and heard the rumblings. First of all, how is your health, Jock? And secondly, is there dissention within the ranks? MELODY :lol: JOCK I’m just fine, thank you for asking. Took a nasty fall last week, but fortunately I didn’t suffer any conundrum. TONY You sure about that? JOCK Listen Brannigan, I know it must still eat you alive that I basically ended Black T’s dominance over the tag division when the Lone Star Gunslingers eliminated ya’ll from the Anderson Cup a few years back. Now that you’re a member of the media I understand part of the job is to stir up you-know-what. But I’m here to tell you and everyone watching, there is NO dissention between Baron and myself. It’s been a bumpy ride since losing the gold, but that all changes tonight. BARON The OAOAST tag division is brutal, quite like the NBA Western Conference. Every game in the West is a battle, just as every match in the OAOAST is. There are no easy match-ups. You could be on the top one moment and down at the bottom the next. Believe me, we know because we’re experiencing it right now. But as Jock said that all changes tonight and continues onto AngleMania and keeps on truckin’ until the OAO World tag team titles are back where they belong. TONY That does it from here. Let’s go back to the ring! [i]"YEOW!"[/i] "Money Talks" by AC/DC blasts over the speakers and out walk the best dressed men in the OAOAST, along with their Director of Security. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on their way to the ring, accompanied by CPA, representing THE ENTERPRISE… “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers turn to cheers as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits and the Gunslingers head to the ring. Jock not showing any lingering effects from last week, smiling and slapping hands along with Baron and Melody. BUFFER And their opponents! Led down the aisle by their manager MELODY NERDLY, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 487 pounds, the [I]former[/I]… JOCK :angry: BUFFER …One & Only tag team champions of the world, JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody attempts to calm Jock as he mouths off at ring announcer Michael Buffer. COLE Jock still peeved about he and Baron no longer being tag team champions. COACH He ought to be. Baron’s the one who lost them. COLE What is with you trying to stir up trouble between Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels? COACH I’m a commentator, Cole. That means I’m paid to comment on what I see. And what I see is Baron Windels sabotaging the career of a man he calls his friend because he’s starting to realize Jock’s the better man and the reason for the team‘s success. COLE That’s ridiculous. Jock and Baron are like brothers. It’s all for one and one for all. Teddy and CW quickly decided who’ll start for their team, but it’s more problematic for the Gunslingers as both want the nod, with Baron’s argument being to ease Jock in rather than throw him into the fire right away. Melody agrees and Jock reluctantly exits. COACH You want to talk about ridiculous. Now it’s 2 against 1. COLE :rolleyes: * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Christian Wright lockup as the bell sounds, and CW wastes no time delivering a cheap shot, jabbing his knee into Baron’s midsection. Chopped down to size Windels is staggered by a series of European uppercuts. A tag is made and Baron Windels is sent for the ride, the victim of a double back elbow from Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright on the rebound. The Billion Dollar Heir follows up with A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, but nobody’s home and Moneymaker smashes his fist into the canvas! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Jock readies for the tag as Baron wrings Theodore‘s arm, his foot already on the second turnbuckle in preparation to deliver a top rope double axe handle smash, but it doesn’t come. Instead Baron wrings the arm a second time, flipping Teddy over and leaving Jock perplexed. Windels drops his leg down across Moneymaker’s arm and bars it. COACH He’s freezing Jock out of the match, Cole. That was a perfect time to make a tag and Baron left his best friend hanging on the apron. Jock must’ve felt like a fool standing there waiting for the tag. Theodore returns to a vertical base and pops Baron in the face, shooting him off after, only to have Baron leapfrog over and bring him down in a side headlock. Moneymaker rolls Windels onto his back… ONE! TWO! …and nearly scores the pin. A firm believer in the phrase, “If at first you don’t succeed, try again,” Teddy attempts to fire Baron off a second time, but it’s reversed and the Billion Dollar Heir is caught on the rebound with the MYSPACE COMEBACK~! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Just as he’s about to go for the cover Baron spots CW charging in and backdrops the D.C. native. Windels continues his assault, mixing Texas sized rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows. Wright then goes for the ride and eats a size 13 (BIG) BOOT! “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” With the fans chanting his name and Jock and Melody cheering him on, Baron climbs the buckles and levels Theodore Moneymaker with a TOP ROPE LARIAT!! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock asks for the tag but is told he isn’t ready. This leads to a brief argument that enables Moneymaker to RAKE the eyes and take Windels to the mat with a swinging neck breaker! COACH What is this guy’s problem, Cole? If he doesn’t have some hidden agenda, then why didn’t he tag Jock when presented the opportunity a second time? COLE Baron only has Jock’s best interest in mind. Every competitor no matter how badly injured wants to go. Quite frankly, I don’t think Jock should’ve even been cleared to wrestle tonight. What the Lone Star Gunslingers argued to do Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright don’t, and that’s make a tag, as the Natural comes off the middle rope with an elbow to the heart of Baron Windels. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! CW baits Jock in to distract the ref as he and Teddy stomp Baron. Even CPA lands a cheap shot of his own, driving his forearm into the side of Baron's head. Once the damage has been done Moneymaker is back on the apron before Charles Robinson even turns around. Irish whip, and the Natural connects with a SNAP POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron just gets his shoulder off the mat. Teddy returns and successfully executes a gut wrench suplex, and then pops right up to drop A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! ONE… TWO… And Baron kicks out again. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Moneymaker and Wright make yet another tag, and they follow with a double suplex. CW then goes up top and crashes all his weight down onto Baron with a FROG SPLASH!! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY JOCK! But the Texas Twister isn’t done there, firing Christian across and telling him to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! COACH Get him out of there, Charles. He’s not the legal man! Enter Theodore Moneymaker to confront Jock, who decks the Billion Dollar Heir with a DISCUS PUNCH! COLE Oh, yeah! What about Jock Mulligan now, Coach? COACH I think I liked this guy better on the apron. Jock helps Baron to their corner and TAGS HIMSELF IN! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MELODY :huh: The Texas Twister looks to finish what he started, whipping Moneymaker in for a dropkick flush to the jaw, and then catches Wright sneaking up from behind with a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock signals for Nerdvana, bringing CPA up on the apron to grab his attention. The only attention he receives however is from MELODY NERDLY, who dare tries to yank him down. CPA does on his own accord and sets her up for the HR Blockbuster (Dominator). COLE Oh, no! COACH Oh, yes! Thankfully Baron Windels comes to the rescue, BASHING CPA across the back with a STEEL CHAIR! Meanwhile, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have jumped on Jock Mulligan inside the ring. They whip him into the ropes, but he leapfrogs both men on the rebound and wipes them out with a HIGH CROSS BODY PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!! COLE Jock’s got them both pinned! ONE… TWO… THREE! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NO, KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Teddy rolls out to the floor and the Gunslingers set their sights on the legal man, Christian Wright, nailing him with the ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK. Jock motions for the Lone Star Lasso, but Moneymaker trips up Baron as he bounces off the near side, causing him to fall into Jock’s knee! COLE Oh, my! Baron accidentally clipped Jock! COACH Yeah, right. He clipped him on purpose. COLE Give me a break! You know it was an accident. Moneymaker instructs CPA to pull Baron outside and whip him against the guardrail as CW easily hooks the WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF! COLE Come on, Jock. Hang in there. Despite encouragement from Melody and the fans, the pain is too much for Jock to bear and he submits. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of THEODORE MONEYMAKER and CHRISTIAN WRIGHT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The match officially over Christian Wright refuses to break the hold. “Where’s your partner now?” Theodore Moneymaker asks while stomping the back of Jock Mulligan’s head. Suddenly Melody dashes backstage and returns with her brothers, the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright and Moneymaker head for higher ground, the damage already done as the Beverly Hills Blonds join them onstage in a show of force. COLE You can be sure there will be hell to pay this weekend at AngleMania when the Enterprise does battle with the Christ Air Express and Lone Star Gunslingers. [b]THIS WEEKEND[/b] Logan Usher Mann vs. Quentin Benjamin [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/papacita/OAOAST/SYNDICATED.jpg] [b]CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS[/b]

And now, the [b][color="#FFA500"]OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK[/color][/b], presented by [b][color="#FF0000"]Beauty Crush[/color][/b], the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! [b]ONE WEEK AGO[/b] [quote]As Faqu leaves the ring seemingly to check Blonde is okay, Christian Wright quickly comes in and takes over. Hooking up the head, Wright hangs Jock up across the top rope...and whips him down with the CONVERSION RATE!! COACH How's that for a texas twister? Cover by CW... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Jock Mulligan has been eliminated![/quote] "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits and the crowd goes crazy for Jock Mulligan. Well, at least the women and teenage girls do. The Texas Twister in no mood for hand slaps this evening, marching straight down the aisle with a look of determination on his face. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Lone Star Gunslinger Baron Windels and Melody Nerdly…from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 232 pounds… “THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jock slams his jacket down on the arena floor and signals for his opponent to come on out. COLE The Texas Twister still livid over his elimination by Christian Wright last week on the program. He so badly wanted to win the TC as did everyone involved in the bout. COACH You think Jock wanted it bad, apparently Baron wanted it worse. I mean to let your own partner be eliminated while you just stood on the apron and watch? Even [I]I[/I] wouldn’t do that to you, Cole. I’d make we’d both survive so I could be the one to eliminate you! COLE That’s one of the most asinine things I’ve ever heard. I won’t even dignify it with a response. While silence falls over Sofa Central, the arena begins rocking with the music of ZZ Top and their hit “Sharp Dressed Man” for the arrival of Christian Wright, Mackenzie DeCenzo and CPA. BUFFER His opponent, now residing in Washington D.C. and representing THE ENTERPRISE! He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Greeted rudely by the OAOAST faithful on hand, Christian Wright swaggers out with his trusty briefcase close at his side and under the protection of his employer’s burly Director of Security, CPA, who shields the Natural and Mackenzie DeCenzo from possible contact with fans as they head ringside. Upon entering the ring Wright is pounced on by Jock! COACH Hey! * DINGDINGDING * Jock slams Christian on the mat and drops the big leg, but rather than go for the cover he mounts over Wright and hammers away with closed fists. Mackenzie DeCenzo screams at referee Nick Patrick to do his job and get Jock off CW. When he tries Jock takes a swing at him! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Just when Nick Patrick is about to warn Jock about his aggressive behavior he sees the look in his eyes and smartly decides to let it go. COLE Holy cow! Jock Mulligan is a man possessed. I don’t remember seeing him like this before. COACH Even though he’s wrestling CW, right now he sees Baron in there with him. COLE Will you stop with that! You’ll be lucky if the Lone Star Gunslingers don’t come looking for you once the match is over. Jock’s minor confrontation with the official buys Christian enough time to regroup and remove his red polyester jacket, which he uses to clothesline the Texas Twister! Wright smashes Mulligan into the buckle and stuffs his tie in Jock’s mouth before delivering a series of punishing European uppercuts. Now in control Wright makes sure to have some fun with the Gunslinger, slapping him upside the head insultingly, then whips him across…but Jock reverses and BAAAAAAAACK body drops CW out of the corner! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Texas Twister measures Wright and drills him with his signature RUNNING BUTT THUMP!! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! This could do it! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mulligan signals out Baron with a quick thumbs up as he ascends to the top…ONLY TO SLIP AND FALL HARD!!! COACH Did you see that?! COLE See what? COACH Baron shook the rope and caused Jock to fall. COLE He did not! Mackie and Christian have a good laugh at Mulligan’s expense, and then it’s back to business as CW puts the boots to the shaken Gunslinger. Wright brings his opponent up to a vertical base and levels him with a SUPERKICK! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! CW’s not through with Jock yet. He taunts Baron and Melody before spiking their friend into the canvas with a vicious PILEDRIVER! COLE Nick Patrick ought to seriously consider ending the damn match. Wright could have picked up the victory seconds ago, but now he’s trying to injury this young man for no good reason. COACH Jock’s the one who demand the match. I guess that falls into the category of be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Mulligan’s scooped up and dropped throat-first on the top rope, his almost lifeless body crumbling to the mat. BARON :angry: The Natural dares Baron to step in, but Melody pleads with him not to. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” JOCK :huh: COACH What a great shot that is. The light’s are on, but nobody’s home! At the urging of Melody, Baron tosses in Jock’s white jacket to end the match. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Finally some common sense being shown around here. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Baron Windels has opted to end the match since Jock Mulligan can no longer defend himself. Therefore, here is your winner… "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! Mackie raises CW’s hand in triumph as the crowd lets him and Baron know how they feel. "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” COLE The fans don’t agree with Baron’s decision, but it was the right move. Jock’s career was not only on the line but so was his well being. He’s gotta have a concussion. COACH For the second week in a row Jock’s so called partner has screwed him. COLE I’m cutting you off right here. You’ve been WAY over the line tonight. Jock’s health is the most important thing at this time. We’ll try to get word on his condition before we go off the air. If not, be sure to visit OAOAST.com for more on that.

Assuming KC's cool with it (I'd have sent him a PM but the whole time difference thing, figured he'd see it here faster)... Christian Wright vs. Jock Mulligan KC: Yeah, no problem.

And now, the [b][color="#FFA500"]OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK[/color][/b], presented by [b][color="#FF0000"]Beauty Crush[/color][/b], the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! [b]Courtesy:[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#4169E1"]The Leap Year Spectacular[/color][/font] [quote]Uber and Benjamin lay on the floor, as Frank and Moss slug it out inside. Frank gets the better of the exchange, as Uber gets to his feet on the outside. He picks up Benjamin and drops him across the guardrail, then Frank lifts Moss onto his shoulders. Uber hops onto the apron, then climbs to the top rope. However, Benjamin comes to, then hops onto the apron and shoves Uber off, causing him to collide with Moss and Frank, as Moss rolls up Frank in a victory roll! 1... 2... 3!!! JESSE They won it! *DING DING DING* The crowd goes crazy, as…Benjamin helps Moss to his feet, and raises his hand, then raises his own hands. BUFFER [i]Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the match...and the 2008 Anderson Cup champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRROSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] Moss and Benjamin celebrate on the ropes...[/quote] [i]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/i] [b][color="#008000"]The Enterprise [/color]presents... In association with the [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST[/color] and [color="#4169E1"]TSM[/color][/b] Back live on the air, the credits are rolling as it’s time for another exciting installment of… [img=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/reeltalk.jpg] "Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience." [size=1]Executive Producer/Creator Simon Singleton Co-Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly[/size] New episode, same routine as the curtain rises and the famed Beverly Hills Blonds, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard in matching silver vests and black shorts, grab their drinks at the in house bar and then head for the lounge to a chorus of boos segment director Molly Nerdly drowns out in the truck with canned applause. [font="Lucida Console"][color="red"]NED BLANCHARD - CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 2,083 happy -- and very sore -- bitches! ^ 75 from two weeks ago[/color][/font] NED Lafayette, Louisiana, and Nielsen households across the country, welcome to a television event TWO WEEKS in the making. The return of Reel Talk and its popular co-host, the B.O.S.S himself Simon Singleton! "BOOOOOOOOO [i]*canned applause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!" Booed in reality, cheered in his mind, Simon raises his glass for a toast. SIMON To the hottest sports entertainers in the world today. SIMON & NED :cheers: Ned’s inner redneck comes through as he gulps down his adult beverage and asks the barmaid to toss him another cold one. And another and another and [I]another[/I]. NED Of course the Handsome Hustler reminds you to drink responsibility, which I’ll demonstrate later tonight by competing in the epic Torneo Cibernetico III match hammered, pissing off M.A.D.E. or Mothers Against Drunken Entertainers. SIMON He’s only kidding, folks. Ned can handle his beer. NED (slurring speech) Did I ever tell you I slept with your ex-wife while you were still married? I’m so freaking sorry for that, man. It was late, I was drunk and horny. You wouldn’t believe the boner I had that night. I nearly popped my pants before getting around to your old lady. SIMON :huh: NED No, I am only kidding, you dumb son of a bitch! SIMON Ah, you got me. Had me completely fooled there for a second. Say, why don’t we introduce our guests this week? NED Let’s do it. Although I really do feel terrible about sleeping with Rhonda Sue. The one time I lowered my standards for a cheap thrill. SIMON How do you think I feel? I’m the one who married her! Anyway, OAOAST Magazine calls our guests pound for pound the best tag team in the sport -- and I emphasis the word sport because the Beverly Hills Blonds are the best sports [I]entertainers[/I]. You can watch them in action Sunday, March 30 at AngleMania VII when they challenge the Heavenly Rockers for the One & Only World tag team championship. Ladies and gents, the 2008 Anderson Cup winners… CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN… TEAM HEYROSS! “Shine” by Collective Soul hits and the #1 contenders appear in their bad ass hooded windbreakers to a surprisingly large ovation, by their standards at least, although they receive their fair amount of jeers as well. SIMON First of all, I guess congratulations are in order. I say that because you won the Anderson Cup without having to beat the Beverly Hills Blonds. But much like the Houston Rockets “impressive” 20 game win streak, you can only play who’s on your schedule. NED In summarization, it’s better to be [u]lucky than good[/u]. Moss and Benjamin smile wryly, greatly amused by the remarks. SIMON Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about why you’re here. By virtue of your Anderson Cup victory you’re now in line to face the OAO World tag team champions at the grandest spectacle in all of parody e-fed entertainment, AngleMania VII. Before we get your take on that, let’s first hear these pre-recorded comments from your opponents, the Heavenly Rockers. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” [color="#FF8C00"][b]* SWOOSH *[/b][/color] We cut to the Heavenly Rockers inside their Sin City recording studio. Holly on husband Logan Mann’s lap smoking a cigarette, Synth (wearing an Arabic headdress and now trademark goggles) and Abdullah in the background monitoring the latest in the democratic presidential race on CNN and Fox News (sorry MSNBC). LOGAN Even though we couldn’t be there live, the greatest rock ‘n wrestling band of all-time is with you in spirit. Seriously, though. The Heavenly Rockers in Lafayette, Louisiana?! What, does the Superdome still reek of death? That’s why you idiots spent millions repairing the joint instead of helping those affected by Hurricane Katrina. Because unlike the OAOAST, we don’t play second-rate towns. This is a first class operation. We’re talking about the bright lights and big cities. And it don’t get no bigger and badder than AngleMania, where the Heavenly Rockers are 3-0. I’ll concede you two are the better wrestlers, but your past accomplishments in the amateur level and the number of holds you know won’t be worth a damn if you can’t stand the heat of AngleMania. SYNTH Allow moi to break it down for ya. The teenager father of them all is a whole different beast. It ain’t like grappling on HD. The spotlight is brighter and the crowd is 10 times bigger. So you won the Anderson Cup. Big deal. Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright proved last year that honor doesn’t mean the tag titles will be handled to you on a silver platter. The same pundits who blow you verbally claim the Synthmeister and L-Mann are overconfident. Hell, you’d be too when you’ve been at the top on 3 separate occasions. We know what it takes to get there and most importantly stay there. LOGAN In closing, I suggest you guys soak up the spotlight because AngleMania will be the closest you get to the OAO World tag team championship. HOLLY Honey, I’m so ashamed of you. LOGAN :huh: HOLLY Didn’t anybody teach you to win with class? The least we could do is let Charlie and Quentin take a picture with the belts. LOGAN, SYNTH, HOLLY & ABDULLAH :lol: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan and the gang laugh it up as we cut back to a less than amused Team Heyross. NED How about them apples? MOSS We’re not going to get involved in a pissing contest with the Heavenly Rockers. Synth and Logan, for whatever reason, feel the need to remind people how great they are, we don’t. Quentin and I prefer to let our actions speak for themselves. And our actions have spoken louder than any words could. It’s why one win separates us from achieving our goal of becoming the One & Only World tag team champions. BENJAMIN The Heavenly Rockers lack of respect isn’t surprising. We’ve had to fight that since day one. It wasn’t until our performance in the Anderson Cup that we began catching people’s eyes and respect. Just look at the teams we beat to earn our shot at the gold. They were big and bad, quick and agility, bruisers and, oh yeah, the very team we’re gonna face again in a couple of weeks at AngleMania, the Heavenly Rockers. (to the Blonds) Had you guys made it past the first round we’d have beaten you too! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SIMON & NED :o BENJAMIN Synth and Logan have every right to be confident going into AngleMania. Last I checked they were the champions. They don’t have to beat us, we have to beat them. On the flip side, we’ve already beaten them once so we hold a psychological edge. SIMON Get outta here! That stuff is overrated! BENJAMIN Go ask the Golden State Warriors if that‘s overrated. They matched up against a team they knew couldn’t play their style and embarrassed them. History’s shown the Heavenly Rockers don’t match up well against teams who employ a wrestling style as us. Come AngleMania history will repeat itself. “Shine” cues up once again as Team Heyross motion wanting the tag belts around their waists. NED Well Simon, this concludes another exciting installment of the hottest new talk show on TV, Reel Talk. SIMON You got that right. Be sure to join us again as we continue to bring you the show that deals with the issues you really care about. For Ned Blanchard, I’m Simon Singleton saying goodnight until next time. Now we gotta prepare for our match later tonight!! [size="1"]© [color="#008000"]The Enterprise[/color][/size]

And now, the [b][color="#FFA500"]OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK[/color][/b], presented by [b][color="#FF0000"]Beauty Crush[/color][/b], the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! [b]Courtesy:[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#4169E1"]The Leap Year Spectacular[/color][/font] [quote]Melody and Jock cheer him on as he sits Logan on the top turnbuckle. As he climbs onto the middle rope and hooks Logan’s head, there’s a commotion in the stands. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Inexplicably, the Enterprise’s Director of Security, CPA, makes his presence felt. He enters the ring after shoving Nick Patrick down and levels Jock with a BIG BOOT, then waist locks an unsuspecting Baron Windels from behind, driving him straight to the mat with the DOMINATOR! COLE What the hell?! Damn him! Logan gains his footing on the top rope and spreads his wings before flying, spiking both knees into the sternum of Baron Windels!! ONE… TWO… THREE!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and for the third time your One & Only World Tag Team Champions…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS![/quote] [color="#008080"][font="Impact"][size=7]HOUSE OF WORSHIP[/size][/font][/color] With your Inspirational Leader....[b][color="#008080"]Abdullah Abir Nerdly[/color][/b] A mellow Arabic chant welcomes us back inside Nationwide Arena. Flanked by a bevy of beauties, two of whom solely responsible for keeping his robe from scratching the floor‘s surface, Abdullah Nerdly scrolls out to a specially designed set located away from the main stage, nodding and smiling to his followers. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Judging from their reaction, I don’t think our fans want to listen to Abdullah’s latest message. COACH Yeah, because they might actually [I]learn[/I] something. If our citizens were half as tolerant as those in Abdullah’s part of the world, there wouldn’t be violence or discrimination. COLE Instead there’d be intimidation and repression. Now at the podium, Abdullah takes a moment to praise the heavens, one of the poses displayed on his Mosque’s stained glass windows. ABDULLAH Thank you my virgins. And hello again enemies of Abdullah. Welcome to a special prayer gathering at my House of Worship. Tonight’s sermon deals with the act of giving. It has long been said it is better to give than to receive. Well allow me to put that rumor to rest because it is far better to [I]receive[/I] than it is to give! COACH Praise be! ABDULLAH Look no further than last week’s Leap Year Spectacular for example. My good friend Teddy Moneymaker’s Enterprise received a generous donation from yours truly in exchange for security protection for me and my men during the Sin City Street Fight. While it is true anything goes in a street fight, there are -- believe it or not -- some gentlemanly rules in the rough world of professional wrestling. The biggest of which is that you never intentionally try to hurt one of your opponents. COLE Is he kidding me? The Colonel and his men have purposely tried to end careers on numerous occasions and he’s complaining about the Lone Star Gunslingers’ physicality in a street fight? A match his men demanded, by the way. ABDULLAH Praise Allah for CPA. If not for him it’s unlikely I’d be introducing my guests at this time. Enemies of Allah, I present to you the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time and your One & Only World tag team champions… THE HEAVENLY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The gold back around their waists, both Heavenly Rockers also sport bandages/scratches on their faces, the result of their punishing Sin City Street Fight last week on the Leap Year Spectacular. It doesn’t stop the Synthmeister from playing a little air guitar on his tag title. Holly-Wood, meanwhile, is unable to keep her paws off husband Logan Mann, feeling him up with one hand and caressing his championship belt on the other. ABDULLAH Mr. and Mrs. Mann, Synth, welcome back to my House of Worship. Before we go any further, a few weeks ago there was to be a major announcement made by the Heavenly Rockers. Unfortunately that announcement had to be postponed due to a couple of trigger-happy Gunslingers who… praise Allah… have since been taken care of. Seeing as though we’re gathered this glorious evening to celebrate our new tag team champions, there wouldn’t be a better time to make that announcement than right now! Synth, if you’d please step forward. Synth obliges, lowering his head as well. ABDULLAH After months of studying you have finally accumulated the wealth of knowledge that has purified your mind, body and soul. Inside of you always beat the heart of a little boy. Tonight beats the heart of a man. Brother Synthmeister, I hereby christen you [b][color="#9932CC"]SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR[/color][/b], master of the skyhook elbow drop! The Colonel adds to the pageantry by placing GOGGLES on Synth’s face. Visibly moved, the newly christen Synth Abdul-Jabbar and Colonel Abdullah embrace to a round of applause from Logan and Holly. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SYNTH Colonel, thank you for this honor and for guiding this lost soul to happiness he never thought possible. No drug in the world can replicate the high Synth Abdul-Jabbar is on. My only regret is that our Muslim brother Barack Hussein Obama wasn’t as successful in his recent bout as the Heavenly Rockers were in theirs. COLE Since when did Synth and Abdullah become so interested in the 2008 U.S. presidential race? I thought Synth heart Huckabee? COACH Maybe he decided to jump on the bandwagon like everyone else. You honestly don’t believe their support is some kind of sinister plot? ABDULLAH The bigotry within the United States, where all men are supposedly created equal, is a disgrace. Let’s not worry about that however. His nomination is money in the bank. Right now allow me to reiterate my pleasure on having you back on the show, especially as the OAO World tag team champions for a third time. LOGAN That sounds so good I’m gonna say it again. 3-time tag team champions of the world, the One & Only tag team champions of the world for that matter, the Heavenly Rockers! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LOGAN We’ve felt naked the last month or so without the gold, but we told each and every one of these people in the area and watching at home that we’d regain the tag titles. It wasn’t easy, nor was it pretty. Just look at our faces. Under these bandages are countless stitches. But hey, we took it as good as we gave it. SYNTH Yeah, boy. If ya’ll think we look bad, go find the Lone Star Gunslingers. They look even worse. And they lost too! LOGAN Jock and Baron are probably licking their wounds somewhere in Texas, maybe huddled on the couch enjoying Brokeback Mountain on HBO or whatever, and assuming their heads aren’t buried in each others crotches, they can at least hang ‘em on the fact they didn’t just lose to the best but the greatest rock ‘n‘ wrestling band of ALL time! SYNTH Ain’t nothing wrong coming in number two. HOLLY Logan can attest to that. LOGAN :lol: ABDULLAH Now then, as you gentlemen very well know, once you get done with one team you move on to the next. For you it’s the 2008 Anderson Cup winners Team Heyross at AngleMania VII. LOGAN Colonel, you’ve been around us long enough to know we only deal with facts. And the fact is we’ve won more tag titles and slept with a whole helluva lot more women than Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin have in their dreams. SYNTH Those fools can’t even beat us in their sleep either! COLE They seem to be forgetting Team Heyross eliminated them from the Anderson Cup. LOGAN So as far as we’re concerned, AngleMania’s just apart of our spring break plans. A trip to LA on the OAOAST’s dime. SYNTH :headbang: ABDULLAH Praise be! The segment concludes with the Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah arm in arm singing “We Are the World” for reasons unknown.

Show's up in HE (left a spot for the World title match). Your feedback, if any, here.

Abdullah Nerdly's House of Worship with special guests, the new OAO World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers

Since I have nothing better to do, might as well leave some feedback. Heck of a revelation to start the show. Although I knew Krista’s bastard child was on the roster Jade never crossed my mind. It makes sense when you think about it. Krista’s a bitch to everybody, including Alix, but was more gentle, almost motherly, with young Jade. This was the first time I had the opportunity to check out GENSHOU and I was real impressed. I’m not very good with my OAOAST history, but I think I know who the Ninja, or at least who I’m hoping it is. Alix had some great lines in her and Mackie’s segment, the Mr. Peanut one in particular. CI vs. LoveGen: Faux fur? And James Blonde calls himself a heel. Pfft! Anyway, fun match. Love Generation had a good run. Btw, nice job on the mock AP DVD, KC. Heartland Battle Royal: Alf could’ve posted next week’s NBA scheduled after MISTER Warrior’s elimination and the match still would’ve rocked. Luckily for us he continued and wrote a kick ass battle royal. But I guess nobody had the balls to take the barbed wire bull rope elimination ( ). Man, that even sounds brutal. AC Finals: From a kick ass brawl to a kick ass wrestling match. Alf really delivered the goods this week. I think he’s also the first person to ever do a trophy presentation. Don’t think I did that in past Anderson Cups. MOTN: AC Finals QOTS: “Um, That's the string from a bakery box. You didn't find Kabbalah. You found ka-pound-cake.” -- Mackenzie DeCenzo

WRITTEN BY KC EWC PFL Alfdogg Tony149 GRAPHICS Patty O'Green Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Anglesault Tony149 courtneywasmurdered DIRECTED BY Tony149 © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! Instead of an elaborate opening montage, the LYS logo appears on screen... "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" ...and we cut right to the hardest working broadcast team in the business at Sofa Central. LIVE! St. Louis, MO COLE 4 weeks away from the biggest spectacle in parody e-fed entertainment, AngleMania, we welcome you to the Leap Year Spectacular! Michael Cole joined as always by Jonathan Coachman, and Coach, the outcome of tonight’s event could very well change the face of AngleMania. Imagine Colombian Heat defeating Stephen Joseph Popick for the Undisputed One & Only World Heavyweight Championship in one of our double main events. COACH Won’t happen. COLE Or the Heavenly Rockers regaining the One & Only World Tag Team Championship. COACH That will happen. But screw all that stuff! Screw the wrestling! Let's get to the good stuff, let's hear who the bastard is already! Gimme my ticket off of this sofa already mamma! Coach rubs his hands in glee, not the only one eagerly anticipating the big announcement. Backstage, almost the entire OAOAST roster has gathered around a monitor supplied and paid for by The Enterprise themselves (and incase anyone was unsure of that fact, a flourescent green sticker in the middle of the screen tells them so), guarded by Christopher Patrick Allen. Murmuring amongst the OAOAST patrons continues even as the sounds of AC/DC's "Money Talks" begin to echo out through the speakers on the TV. YEOW! We zip into the arena just as Theodore Moneymaker steps out into the arena with the biggest smile yet on his face. Which is pretty big, lemme tell ya. Moneymaker takes a deep breath and savours the moment before heading over to the interview stage. Behind him, Mackenzie DeCenzo follows, defiant in the face of howls of abuse from the fans she passes. "Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night" COLE I can't believe this is actually happening. COACH I know! And deep down I'm gonna miss you too after all these years, but no son of KID's gonna be stuck on common announce duty, oh no! I'm heading to the big time baby! COLE (ignoring Coach) Somebody's life is about to change right here and now. But, it's safe to say that Krista's has already been damaged beyond repair by these two black-hearted human beings. COLE Woah, easy there Mr. Bringdown. Let's keep it light, huh? Moneymaker is greeted on the stage by... well, no-one. No interviewer, no nothing. Just a lone microphone laid out on the stage. This is his moment and the only person he's going to share the limelight with tonight appears to be Mackenzie, who he positions beside him while waiting for some decorum in the arena. The grin just grows and grows the longer Moneymaker waits, as we cut backstage quickly, to the tension filled room full of OAOAST workers. MONEYMAKER This is it St Louis! This is the moment you've ALL been waiting for! BWAHAHAHAHA! Apparantly, Moneymaker can contain his laughter no more. MONEYMAKER Tonight, we're finally gonna cut to the chase and find out just which OAOAST superstar it was who was cast aside at birth by Krista Isadora Duncan, shunned by their own mother and never given the dignity of the truth by that hell-bound harlet! But first, I want to take this moment to thank you Mackenzie. For without you, none of this would have been possible. Looking (mock) surprised by the appreciation, Mackie playfully tells Teddy to stop. MONEYMAKER I guess I should also be thanking Alix Maria Spezia for her part in this beautiful moment. After all, she may not have been the brains behind this announcement... "TEDDY SUCKS!" "TEDDY SUCKS!" "TEDDY SUCKS!" "TEDDY SUCKS!" MONEYMAKER ...you know what, I've lost my train of thought thanks to you obnoxious nickel and dimers. No matter though, because the MAIN person I should be thanking right now is the good Lord above, for bestowing upon me this bounty. This secret. This backlash against one of his most misguided, sinful creatures. And this chance to change somebody's life forever! The Lord giveth and Krista giveth away. But leave it to me, Theodore Moneymaker, to restore some dignity and some morality to the OAOAST! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You have got to be kidding me. COACH Shut up and let him get to the point. COLE Hey, I'm not the one who convinced him to love his own voice! MONEYMAKER The world is watching and right now, it's time. It's time to put the mystery to rest and let the poor child involved in this sorry chapter of OAOAST history move on with their life, as Krista Isadora Duncan's first, unwanted child! COACH Oh boy, here it comes... Backstage, all ears are peeled. Some lean towards the screen, maybe thinking that might help hurry Teddy up. MONEYMAKER AND THE WINNER IS... COLE Get on with it already! MONEYMAKER ...HER name... A loud, male groan goes up amongst those watching backstage. Most of the guys stand up and start to walk of disappointedly, no longer caring in the slightest who Krista's child even is. As they noisily begin to file out though, Holly-Wood hisses at them all to "shut the fuck up", still in with a shot and not about to miss this moment just because EMT Tim didn't turn out to be the son (I'll be honest, that's who I plunged my $100 on!) MONEYMAKER ...her name... and it should come as no surprise to anyone, like me, who saw her potential... ...is JADE RODEZ!! COLE WHAT!? The camera located backstage zooms right in on the Love Generation, sat near the back of the group of now entirely disappointed OAOAST workers. All of said workers turn in unison to a shocked Jade, shocked D*LUX and Leon, stood behind them, looking down at his feet solemnly. MONEYMAKER That's right Jade! Congratulations, your entire life has been a lie! BWAHAHAHA!! As tears begin to roll down her cheeks, Jade suddenly bursts out of the room with the eyes of the OAOAST still burning through her. After a second's pause Leon rushes off after her, Shayne and Tyler still too shocked to do the same apparantly. MONEYMAKER What, you're not going to hang around for the explanation Jade? That's okay... I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for you to catch up once you've calmed down. But let's not deprive the rest of the world of the juicy details of this revelation, shall we? Because I can tell from the gormless looks on the faces of you people, you're all a little confused right now. See, it's the same story as always. I give you the answers, you respond simply with questions. That is why I am the powerhouse I am. Because I always have the answers. You're all wondering to yourself, how is Jade Rodez Krista's daughter? You wonder now, isn't Jade Leon's sister after all? Who is she really? How did Krista's child make it all the way from a gutter in Los Angeles to the wastelands of Michigan anyway? All these same questions went through my mind too at first. But again, I didn't become the powerhouse that I am by asking questions, Theodore Moneymaker became the most powerful force in the OAOAST by demanding answers! And I have those answers! You see, Krista got herself knocked up by no mere person, no no. She gave herself up to Dario Rodez. Moneymaker pauses to let everybody catch up. MONEYMAKER Now, I'm sure you're all wondering, "who the hell is Dario Rodez?" HAHAHA! More questions! More secrets that only I was powerful enough to uncover. It turns out, Leon wasn't the first Rodez to seek out the bright lights of Hollywood. His older brother, that's Dario for those of you struggling to keep up, found himself out in Los Angeles looking for fame and fortune and long story short, he turned Krista into the woman she is today! Fame if ever there was. A craving for goose eggs and a pregnancy test later and along came little Jade and Krista panicked. How could she cope? How could her family, her morally upright political family cope, with the stigma of having a teenage slut for a daughter? It boggles my mind too. I can only pity them for their dirty living mistake. So one can summise, anyone else with morals like myself would come to the same conclusion. Then, tragedy struck. Poor Dario, Krista's escape route, met his maker in a motorcycle accident before the birth. What would Krista do now? She had nowhere to go and suddenly she had to face up to the mistake she made. She had to be a woman. So, of course, she convinced her parents to ditch the child on Dario's parents for them to bring up! Moneymaker shakes his head sadly. MONEYMAKER So the Rodez parents gained another child after their son's tragic death, Leon gained a sibling after his brother's tragic death, Krista got a second chance to live her life of hedonism and everybody lived happily ever after. Right? Nevermind that poor Jade's parents were really her grandparents. Nevermind that Leon is her UNCLE and not her brother! She was never to know. Scoffing, Moneymaker shows no remorse at being the man who changed all that. MONEYMAKER This should all come as no surprise. The Enterprise saw the potential in Jade long before anyone knew about all this. She's very much Krista's daughter. Maybe that's why she's the only person in this rotten company that Krista is anything close to civil to. Shame. Because now, when Krista returns, she won't have the bitter-sweet reunion with a child seduced by ideas of wealth and fame. Instead, Krista, enjoy this. Enjoy the circumstances of your actions, this many years on. The only person you truly care about in this place, besides yourself of course, her world crushed and everything she knew a lie. Enjoy, Krista. I know I will. BWAHAHAHA!! Moneymaker drops the microphone and walks off to the sound of "Money Talks" and some muted booing. Backstage, D*LUX remain sat in silence.

TONY We're back here at the Leap Year Spectacular, and we're going to go right to the ring for the presentation of the Anderson Cup! Take it away, "Mean" Gene Okerlund! OKERLUND OK, thank you, Tony...with a few words before we present the trophy, here's Arn Anderson! Okerlund hands over the mic. ARN Thanks, Gene...an outstanding show here tonight in St. Louis, capped off by a terrific final to the Anderson Cup! Congratulations to both teams, and a very special congratulations to the 2008 Anderson Cup champions, Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, Team Heyross! Arn shakes hands with both Moss and Benjamin, then they are presented the trophy. They hold it up in the air, as the crowd cheers. OKERLUND An outstanding win, Charlie Moss! MOSS Absolutely. We always look forward to facing great teams like the Sooners, it really brings out the best in us...and it really shows people what we're really made of. OKERLUND Very good. Next stop for Team Heyross, AngleMania, and a shot at the World tag team titles, Quentin Benjamin! BENJAMIN Sounds good to me. We've been waiting for this for many years, and unfortunately for the Gunslingers, or whoever holds the belts when that day comes, we're gonna make the most of it. OKERLUND All right, that's Team Heyross, ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the Anderson Cup, 2008! Back to you, Tony and Jesse! TONY All right, as Team Heyross celebrates in the ring, folks, it's been a terrific night here from St. Louis! For Mean Gene Okerlund, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Michael Cole and the Coach, I'm Tony Schiavone! We'll see you this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! FADE TO BLACK

*DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...this is the main event of the evening. Tonight, two outstanding tag teams BUTT heads, after fighting through a grueling tournament, to determine the WINNER of the coveted Anderson Cup! Ladies and gentlemen...THIS is the 2008 Anderson Cup Finals! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER St. Louis, Missouri...ARRRRRRRE YOUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYY??? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in St. Louis, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE E!!!!! Shine by Collective Soul hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Team Heyross makes its way to the ring. Moss and Benjamin get a mixed reaction of mostly cheers. COLE And as Team Heyross makes their way to the ring, right now we're going to send you to the men who will call this match, Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura! TONY Thank you, Michael, and here come the winners of the Los Infernales bracket, defeating the Christ Air Express just two weeks ago! JESSE And I've been working on my history, Tony Schiavone...it was two years ago in the Anderson Cup that the Sooner Bruisers and Team Heyross met in the second round, and the Sooners came out on top! TONY And that was a terrific match, just as this one figures to be! Benjamin does his pose on the buckle, then hops into the ring, as Frankenstein hits and the Sooners come through the curtains, getting a rousing ovation. TONY And the crowd loves both of the Anderson Cup finalists here in St. Louis! JESSE I mentioned their prior Anderson Cup meeting, Schiavone, because I know Team Heyross keeps tabs on that stuff, and they remember what happened in this tournament two years ago! And I'm going to go on the record, I think Team Heyross will avenge that defeat here tonight, and win the 2008 Anderson Cup! TONY All the makings to be the greatest Anderson Cup Final in the history of our sport! JESSE If you keep saying that, you may be right one of these times, Schiavone, and it just might be tonight! The Sooners enter the ring, and Uber runs around the ring like a madman while Big Frank flexes his guns. TONY The Sooners are ready! Team Heyross is ready! Let's go back to Michael Buffer! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...this match is set for one fall, with a one-hour time limit! The winner will be awarded the 2008 Anderson Cup! Introducing the first team, to my left...at a combined weight of 486 and 1/2 pounds...they are the #3 seed from the Los Infernales bracket, and the Los Infernales Bracket champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRROSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *crowd cheers* BUFFER And their opponents, to my right...at a combined weight of 535 pounds even! They are former OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD! They were the #2 seed in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, and the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference champions...THE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOONERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUISERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *crowd cheers* Both teams go over strategy, then Uber and Benjamin step out, leaving Frank and Moss to start the match. *DING DING DING* Frank and Moss circles the ring, and Frank gets down low and tries to trip the leg of Moss, but Moss avoids it. Frank backs off, then moves in again slowly and catches Moss with a double-leg takedown! TONY And Frank taking down Charlie Moss! Moss quickly gets to the ropes, and Frank releases and backs off. Frank moves in once again, and ties up. Moss quickly takes Frank down with a fireman's carry, then hooks him in an armbar. Frank escapes the armbar, but Moss manages to hook him in a rear waistlock. Moss tries to bar the arm once again, but Frank goes into the ropes. Moss breaks, and backs off. Moss and Frank move in once again, and Frank quickly takes down Moss by his leg, and executes a spinning toe hold. TONY Now the spinning toe hold from Big Frank. After a struggle, Moss takes Frank down and spins through, ending up with Frank on his feet as Moss holds his leg. Moss gets back to his feet, but Frank grabs him in a front facelock. He then switches to a side headlock, forcing Moss back to the mat. JESSE And a nice side headlock by Big Frank! Moss gets back to his feet, and backs Frank into the ropes, then pushes him across. Moss drops down, then gets to his feet and leapfrogs Frank, but Frank comes back in strong, shoulderchecking him right out of the ring! JESSE Whoa! TONY Big shoulderblock by Big Frank, and Charlie Moss to the outside! Moss gathers himself, then rolls back inside. After brief council with Benjamin, he moves into Frank again. After reaching for each other's hands for a few seconds, Frank grabs the wrist of Moss and executes an armwringer, which Moss quickly counters to one of his own! Frank reverses back, then backs Moss into the ropes and whips him across. Frank goes for a slam, but Moss slips behind the back, and rolls him up in a reverse sunset! 1... 2... Kickout! Moss then catches Frank with an armdrag, and bars the arm. TONY Quick moves from Charlie Moss! JESSE It's been a standstill thus far, Tony! Moss picks up Frank, and brings him to the corner, where he tags in Benjamin. TONY And there's the first tag of the match! JESSE Quentin Benjamin, the high flyer from the University of Oregon! Benjamin wrings the arm twice, then bars it. However, Frank escapes with a scoop slam, then makes the tags to Uber! TONY And now a tag on the other side! Uber howls in the air, then runs around the ring, and moves in on Benjamin, quickly taking him down to the mat. Uber grabs a rear waistlock, but Benjamin quickly escapes, then the two struggle to escape numerous tieup attempts on the mat by the other. Both men then get to their feet and back off, as the crowd applauds. JESSE And Quentin Benjamin needs to stick with that speed, because he's giving up a lot of weight to these two! Benjamin ties up with Uber, and Uber quickly wrings the arm. He goes for an Irish whip, but Benjamin reverses, then drops down, but gets caught in a leapfrog attempt and powerslammed! TONY And there's a good example of that right there, another nice show of strength from the Sooner Bruisers! However, Uber misses on an elbowdrop attempt! JESSE But Uber telegraphed that elbow, and Benjamin quickly out of the way! Uber ducks a big kick from Benjamin, then delivers a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Uber bars the arm, but Benjamin does a roll on the mat followed by a front handspring, then wrings the arm of Uber! Uber goes for another back suplex, but Benjamin goes behind the back and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! TONY A nice suplex on the big guy, but only able to get a two-count! However, Benjamin runs right into a SOONERLINE~! JESSE Whoa! The crowd howls at Uber, who howls right back, then tags Frank back in. Frank sets up Benjamin for an Irish whip, but Benjamin reverses. Frank ducks a clothesline, but gets caught with a spinning wheel kick! TONY And a big kick from Quentin Benjamin! 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin climbs onto the shoulders of Frank, and executes a victory roll! 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin takes Frank down by both legs, then hooks them and rolls over on top... 1... 2... Frank gets his legs free and bridges out, then turns over, and hammers Benjamin on the back, and hooks the arm. TONY Suplex coming up! Frank drills Benjamin with a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX~! Benjamin arches his back in pain, as Frank pumps his fists. Cover... 1... 2... Moss saves! Tags are made on both sides, bringing in Uber and Moss. The two size each other up, then move in and tie up. Uber quickly takes Moss down with an armdrag, and bars the arm. Moss works his way to his feet, then scoops and slams Uber... but Uber rolls through and keeps the armbar! JESSE Nice presence of mind by Uber, to hold onto the armbar despite being slammed! Uber goes to a reverse half nelson and forces Moss down the mat... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Moss quickly spins around to his knees, then works his way to his feet, putting his hand on the chin of Uber and forcing him into the ropes, then whipping him across, dropping down, then catching him with a kneelift on the way back across! JESSE And a big knee to the midsection by Charlie Moss, Uber Bruiser really hurting! Moss picks up Uber, and delivers a headbutt, which leaves himself dazed while Uber just stares on, as the crowd howls! JESSE And that was a mistake, Schiavone! Uber moves in, but Moss gets a foot to the gut, and a scoop slam. He goes to drop an elbow, but Uber rolls out of the way! Uber then bars the arm again, and works his way to the reverse half nelson once again, forcing Moss down... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Moss gets to his knees again, then to his feet, and backs Uber into the ropes, whipping him across. Moss drops down, then catches Uber with a dropkick! TONY Nice dropkick from Charlie Moss! JESSE And I think both of these guys need to tag right here! But Moss grabs Uber and drops him with a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss hammers away on Uber, then hooks him in a sleeper! JESSE Sleeper! TONY Sleeperhold applied! Will this be the hold that decides the Anderson Cup? Uber struggles, but eventually starts to fade. JESSE He's fading, Tony! This could be it! Uber drops to his knees, and the referee lifts the arm. 1!!! 2!!! ...but Uber holds through! He steps up to his feet, and backs Moss into the corner, breaking the hold! However, he's still dazed, and Moss quickly regains his wits and locks it in again! TONY But Moss comes right back! Uber quickly fades once again, but this time he falls right into the ropes. However, Moss is reluctant to break, and only does so when Frank plants a boot into his face! JESSE Ah-ha! Now the competitive juices are flowing! TONY And the crowd not too pleased with the antics of Charlie Moss on that one! Moss picks up Uber, and executes a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss hops to the second rope, and comes down...right into the foot of Uber! JESSE And now Uber MUST tag, both of them need to, but especially the Psycho Gremlin! However, Uber instead climbs to the top, and catches Moss with a BULLDOG~! TONY A bulldog! This could do it right here! 1... 2... NO! Moss gets the shoulder up! JESSE NO! Referee says it's just a two! Finally, Uber tags in Frank, who whips Moss into the ropes, and catches him with a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM~! TONY Frank with the tilt-a-whirl! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Moss gets the shoulder up! Frank gets right in the face of the referee, who responds by sticking two fingers in his face. Frank backs into the ropes, and sends Moss over the top to the floor with a clothesline! TONY Big clothesline, and Moss to the outside! Moss walks slowly around the ring, and finally Frank pulls him back onto the apron, and sets up a suplex. However, Moss blocks it twice...then suplexes Frank over the top and to the floor! TONY And a big spill taken there by Big Frank, as Moss pulled him right over the top rope and to the floor! Moss follows Frank to the floor, then tosses him back inside, and tags in Benjamin. Benjamin scoops Frank and slams him, then goes to the top rope, and comes down with a BIG SPLASH~! JESSE Nice hangtime on the big splash! 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin whips Frank into the ropes, and catches him with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! TONY Quentin Benjamin scoring with some big moves, but unable to put Frank away! Benjamin whips Frank across once again, and goes for a dropkick, but Frank hooks the ropes, and Benjamin goes crashing into the mat! Frank tags in Uber, and Uber whips Benjamin into the ropes, and executes a big backdrop! He drops an elbow and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Uber whips him in once again, and executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Frank tags back in, and executes a release German suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! JESSE Well, Quentin Benjamin was dishing them out earlier, and now he's got to take it! TONY And he is in fact taking it right now! Uber tags back in, and floors Benjamin with another SOONERLINE~! TONY And another big Soonerline from Uber Bruiser! Uber howls at the crowd, then covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Frank tags back in, as Uber goes to the top rope. Frank hooks Benjamin in a body vice, and Uber drops the elbow! TONY One of the patented moves of the Sooner Bruisers! 1... 2... Moss saves! Frank knocks Moss to the floor, then whips Benjamin into a corner. He charges, but Benjamin gets the foot up! Benjamin then climbs backwards to the top rope, and hits Frank with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! TONY Dropkick from the top, and Benjamin trying to make a tag! Benjamin struggles to his corner, and makes a tag to Moss! JESSE There's the tag! Moss delivers rights to Frank, then backs into the ropes and floors him with a clothesline! He then picks Frank up, and executes a double underhook suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss then hooks the MOSSY KNOLL~!!!!!11111 TONY He's got it hooked! However, Uber catches him with a clothesline from behind! JESSE But Uber Bruiser with the save! Benjamin hits Uber from behind with a dropkick, sending him to the floor! Uber then climbs to the top rope, and catches Uber on the outside with a MOONSAULT~! TONY And the crowd is loving it! Uber and Benjamin lay on the floor, as Frank and Moss slug it out inside. Frank gets the better of the exchange, as Uber gets to his feet on the outside. He picks up Benjamin and drops him across the guardrail, then Frank lifts Moss onto his shoulders. Uber hops onto the apron, then climbs to the top rope. However, Benjamin comes to, then hops onto the apron and shoves Uber off, causing him to collide with Moss and Frank, as Moss rolls up Frank in a victory roll! 1... 2... 3!!! JESSE They won it! *DING DING DING* The crowd goes crazy, as Moss raises his hand in the air. TONY That's it! Team Heyross has won the Anderson Cup! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the match...and the 2008 Anderson Cup champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRROSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Benjamin helps Moss to his feet, and raises his hand, then raises his own hands. TONY This is the biggest win in the career of Team Heyross! What a finale to the Leap Year Spectacular! Moss and Benjamin celebrate on the ropes, then make their way over to Frank, who is checking on Uber. Frank and Moss assist Uber to his feet as the crowd applauds, then Moss and Uber shake hands. TONY And a tremendous show of sportsmanship from our finalists! Benjamin also shakes hands with Frank, then the other partners exchange handshakes, and all four men raise one another's hands. TONY Two tremendous tag teams in the ring right now, but unfortunately only one could come out on top, and it's Team Heyross, the 2008 Anderson Cup champions! After this commercial break, we'll be back with the presentation of the trophy! THIS WEEKEND Check local listings for time and date

Leap Year Spectacular IT STARTED W/16 TEAMS, NOW ONLY 2 REMAIN 2008 Anderson Cup Finals SOONER BRUISERS vs. TEAM HEYROSS NEXT

Magnum Opus is playing as we return from break, and Alfdogg is approaching the ring, getting a mixed reaction from the fans. COLE And here comes Alfdogg, one of 14 participants in this Heartland battle royal! Here are the rules: All 14 men start in the ring at the same time. Eliminations occur in five different ways: 1. Pinfall. 2. Submission. 3. Over the top rope. 4. touching all four corners while dragging your opponent via a barbed-wire bullrope. 5. pulling your opponent to the end of the rampway on a stretcher. No disqualifications, no countouts, falls count anywhere. The winner of the match will receive a shot at the OAOAST Heartland title at AngleMania VII. The camera shows the bullrope hanging on one of the ring posts, then shows a stretcher at ringside. Alf slides in the ring, and starts exchanging blows with Brock Ausstin! COACH And we're underway in a hurry! As the 13 men in the ring slug it out, Black Sweat plays over the speakers, and MISTER Warrior runs down the ramp and hits the ring! COACH Oh, is this clown actually in the match? COLE Yeah, he's on the list! MISTER Warrior does a sideways dive through the top and middle ropes, rolling right to his feet and hitting Biff Atlas with a clothesline! MISTER Warrior raises his hands into the sky, then runs to the ropes and floors Denzel Spencer, then Vitamin X tastes DESTRUCTICITY in the form of a clothesline! COLE MISTER Warrior is on fire! MISTER Warrior then tries a standing dropkick on Cuban Wall, which proves unwise, as Wall sidesteps and MISTER Warrior only got up to about his waist anyway. The entire ring swarms MISTER WARRIOR, as Alfdogg rolls to the outside and comes back in with a steel chair, bringing it down onto the head of MISTER Warrior! COLE Chair to the skull of MISTER Warrior! MISTER Warrior starts to shake his head, so Alf gives him another shot! However, MISTER Warrior continues the head-shaking, as Brock Ausstin and Cuban Wall hammer him from behind, then scoop him up in a double slam, and dump him over the top to the floor, despite Warrior's resistance! COACH Well, he wasn't in the match for long! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: MISTER Warrior eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin, Cuban Wall (over the top) left in ring: Alfdogg, Biff Atlas, Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Denzel Spencer, Felix Strutter, Max Anderson, Reject, Spanish Fly, Steven Pigley, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And I have a feeling that most of these guys are going to utilize that over-the-top elimination in this match! Brock and Wall then hammer away on each other, as the Love Docs pound away on Vitamin X on the outside. Spanish Fly assists X, as CPA hammers away on Denzel Spencer, laying him across the stretcher. COACH CPA is going for the stretcher job here! However, once CPA starts to pull the stretcher, Spencer swings his fists at him, allowing him to roll off. Spencer and CPA make their way backstage, with an official hot on their trail. COLE And we have referees stationed everywhere in the arena for this matchup, because anything can happen! The screen splits, showing Spencer and CPA battling on one side, and action in the ring on the other. X, Wall, and Fly are punishing the Love Docs, while Reject and Biff Atlas double team Brock Ausstin. Thunderkid and Felix Strutter slug it out on the outside, as Fly hits the 6-1-9~!!!111 on Pigley, followed by the LEAP OF FAITH~!!!!!11111 from Vitamin X! COACH Oh yeah! The Corporate Team is doin' work! Wall shoves Pigley under the bottom to the outside, then picks up Anderson and delivers the WALLBREAKER, followed by the LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH~!!!!!11111 Wall rolls Anderson under the ropes, then lays both men on the stretcher. COLE Could be a 2-for-1 here for the Corporate Team! Fly pushes from the back and X pulls from the front, with Wall holding the Docs in place as they cross the line with the stretcher! COLE And there it is! The Love Doctors have been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd and 3rd eliminations: The Love Doctors eliminated: none eliminated by: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X (stretcher) left in ring: Alfdogg, Biff Atlas, Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Denzel Spencer, Felix Strutter, Reject, Spanish Fly, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Backstage, Spencer whips CPA into a stack of beer kegs, sending them all tumbling down on top of him! Spencer then grabs a keg, and sizes up CPA...but as he does, Reggie Lamont comes up from behind and stops the keg from going forward! COLE Wait a minute! Reggie Lamont's not in this match! Spencer turns around, and Lamont takes off running, with Spencer giving chase. COLE As Denzel Spencer gives chase to his former tag partner, Felix Strutter was just eliminated out here in the arena! He went for a big right hand on Thunderkid, but TK ducked and Felix went flying over the top rope! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Felix Strutter eliminated: none eliminated by: Thunderkid (over the top) left in ring: left in ring: Alfdogg, Biff Atlas, Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Denzel Spencer, Reject, Spanish Fly, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Denzel Spencer walks into an empty hallway, then turns a corner, and spots Reggie, dashing after him. When he turns another corner, he is suddenly ambushed by the Beverly Hills Blonds! COLE Wait a minute! This was a setup! Reggie leaves the scene with a big smile on his face, and CPA re-enters the picture. He grabs Spencer and drags him over to a big wooden crate, then sets him up...and delivers the DOMINATOR~!!!!!11111 through the crate! COACH G'night, Denzel! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Denzel Spencer eliminated, thanks in large part to Reggie Lamont and the Beverly Hills Blonds! What was that all about? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated: none eliminated by: Christopher Patrick Allen (pinfall) left in ring: Alfdogg, Biff Atlas, Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Reject, Spanish Fly, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back in the ring, Biff Atlas hammers away on Thunderkid, then picks him up and delivers AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH~!!!!!11111 COLE And now Biff Atlas looking to finish off Thunderkid! Biff celebrates his feat, to the boos of the crowd. He then goes over to the corner and grabs the barbed-wire bullrope. COACH Look at this, he's going to drag Thunderkid to his elimination! He attaches the rope to TK and starts to pull him around the ring, slapping the corner! COLE There's one corner! Biff continues to pull TK, reaching out and slapping a second corner! COACH There's two! He's halfway there! However, TK starts to pull to his feet as Biff approaches the third corner, and pulls back on the rope! COLE TK coming to, and we've got a tug-of-war going here! Spanish Fly nails TK from behind, and Biff gives one last big tug. However, TK is able to grab the ropes to block, then gives a big pull himself, then as Biff is pulled towards him, he ducks down and executes a BIG backdrop on Biff to the outside! COLE And Biff Atlas is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Biff Atlas eliminated: none eliminated by: Thunderkid (over the top) left in ring: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Reject, Spanish Fly, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So that leaves us with eight! COACH And all three Corporate Team members that started the match still in there, Cole! TK gets to his feet and grabs the bullrope, forming a loop with it in his hand as the crowd gets to its feet. COACH Uh-oh, I don't like the looks of this! TK approaches Cuban Wall in the corner, and brings the rope down across his back! COLE Barbed wire across the BACK of Cuban Wall! As Wall falls to all fours, TK brings the rope down again! VX approaches next, and takes a foot to the gut, then a shot to the back with the rope! He then holds the rope in the air, but is met from behind with a BIG clothesline from CPA, who has just returned to the ring! COACH All right, CPA! As Alf pounds away on Spanish Fly, and Reject and VX double up on Brock, Wall joins CPA in the assault on TK. VX then comes to the aid of Fly, as CPA picks up TK and holds him for Wall. COACH And look at this double team! Wall backs into the ropes, and goes for a big kick, but TK moves, and CPA is floored with the kick, much to the delight of the crowd! COACH Oh no! COLE CPA takes a big foot from the Cuban Wall! CPA gets to his feet and shakes the cobwebs off, then grabs Wall and backs him into a corner, unleashing a flurry of rights and lefts! He then backs off, doing a shuffle in mid-ring. Wall just stares at him, then looks down to the ring attendant, and waves something at him. The attendant throws him a roll of white tape, which he starts applying to his hands. COACH Uh oh, here we go! The big boys are about to have at it here! Wall tosses the roll of tape back to the outside, then charges CPA, and the two begin slugging it out! The two fight towards the ropes, and both go tumbling over the top, but somehow manage to roll back inside between the middle and bottom rope! COLE These two are REALLY going at it! Finally, TK, Brock, Reject and Alf swarm the two, and force them both over the top to the outside! COLE Well, now, they can fight back to the locker room! COACH And I think they're going to! However, before they can, Brock Ausstin grabs Spanish Fly, raises him high in the air, and tosses him down on top of the two men! COLE And just like that we're down to five! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Cuban Wall eliminated: Max Anderson, Steven Pigley eliminated by: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin, Reject, Thunderkid (over the top) 8th elimination: Christopher Patrick Allen eliminated: Denzel Spencer eliminated by: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin, Reject, Thunderkid (over the top) 9th elimination: Spanish Fly eliminated: Max Anderson, Steven Pigley eliminated by: Brock Ausstin (over the top) left in ring: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin, Reject, Thunderkid, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All five men separate, as the crowd gets ready for the explosion. Alf and Thunderkid meet mid-ring and slug it out, while Brock fights off Reject and VX. TK wins the exchange, hammering Alf down in the corner, then goes over to assist Brock. VX is able to sustain the advantage on Brock, while TK and Reject do battle near the ropes. As TK takes advantage and sets up Reject on the ropes, VX sneaks up and dumps him to the floor! COLE And Thunderkid eliminated, we're down to four! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10th elimination: Thunderkid eliminated: Biff Atlas, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Biff Atlas eliminated by: Vitamin X (over the top) left in ring: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin, Reject, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alf jumps VX from behind, while Reject goes back to work on Brock. VX goes to the eyes of Alf, then scoops him up, carrying him to the ropes for elimination! COLE Alf just inches away from elimination! However, Alf slips behind the back, and then gets under VX and attempts to dump him! COACH And now VX almost out! However, VX goes to the eyes, and slips back into the ring. Brock starts to fight back on Reject, but Reject drops down and goes low! COLE And a low blow by Reject on Brock Ausstin! No disqualifications! Reject calls for VX to come help him, and the two set up a double suplex, lifting Brock out to the apron! Brock comes back, and delivers a flurry of rights to both men, then steps back inside and rams both their heads together! COLE Brock narrowly avoiding elimination there! Brock grabs Reject and whips him into the ropes. Reject ducks a clothesline, and floors Brock with a spinning wheel kick! COACH Yeah! COLE Big kick from Reject! As VX goes back to work on Alf, Reject sizes up Brock. COACH Could be the Eulogy coming up! Reject spins Brock around, and sets up the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...however, Brock shoves him off, and catches him for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 Reject slips behind the back, and kicks him low, then sets up the PITCH BLACK~!!!!!11111 He stops to show off for the crowd, however, and Brock backdrops him over the top to the floor! COACH Oh no! COLE Reject is gone! The camera cuts to VX doing the Shane-O-Mac shuffle, and knocking Alf to the mat with a right hand! He then picks up Alf and pitches him over the top! COLE He's not out! VX is too busy resuming his shuffle to notice Alf skin the cat back inside, then grabbing VX from behind and pitching him over the top to the floor! COLE And now VX is gone! We're down to two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~11th elimination: Reject eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall eliminated by: Brock Ausstin (over the top) 12th elimination: Vitamin X eliminated: Max Anderson, Steven Pigley, Thunderkid eliminated by: Alfdogg (over the top) Left in ring: Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE It's Alf and Brock! One of these men will meet Sandman9000 at AngleMania VII! Alf and Brock slowly approach each other at mid-ring, then begin to slug it out! Brock gets the better of the exchange, and backs Alf into a corner. He whips him across, and charges, but Alf gets his foot up! COLE And Brock running right into the raised foot of Alf! Alf picks up Brock and drags him over to the ropes, trying to put him over the top. COLE Brock could be in trouble here! Brock slips behind, then spins Alf around, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE But Brock with a big suplex! Brock then scoops up Alf in a fireman's carry! COLE Could be the F-STUNNER-5! Brock carries Alf over to the ropes, and attempts to dump him over, but Alf manages to block. He hammers Brock on the head, then slips behind the back and delivers a GERMAN SUPLEX~! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COLE And Alf almost snuck out the back door with that suplex! Brock rolls to the outside, and Alf follows, grabbing a steel chair. He stalks Brock around the ring, and slams the chair across his back! COACH Ooh! COLE BIG chairshot from Alf! Alf picks up Brock, and rolls him back inside. He then tries once again to put him over the top rope! COLE And maybe Brock will go this time! However, Alf can't hold onto Brock, so he delivers some forearms and brings him back in, then executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Alf then hops to the second rope, and jumps off...right into the foot of Brock! COLE Brock getting the foot up just in time! Both men lay on the mat for a few seconds, then Brock gets to his feet and hammers away on Alf. He sets Alf up on the ropes, then follows him up. COACH Brock setting up something big here! Alf hammers away on Brock, however, and knocks him down to the mat! Alf then steps back up to the top, and goes for a HURRICANRANA~! However, Brock catches him, and carries him over to the ropes, trying to dump him...but Alf hangs on, and Brock's momentum carries him to the floor! COLE There it is! Alf wins! *DING DING DING* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Reject, Spanish Fly eliminated by: Alfdogg (over the top) WINNER: Alfdogg eliminated: Brock Ausstin, Christopher Patrick Allen, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE So Alfdogg will go to AngleMania VII for a shot at a record fourth Heartland title, against Sandman9000! COACH Wow, I can't wait for that one, Cole! Alf, on his knees, has his hand raised by the referee, as Brock walks towards the back. COLE Brock gave it a valiant effort, but we're shaping up for a GREAT card at AngleMania VII! It'll be Sandman9000 vs Alfdogg for the Heartland title! #~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~# 30 DAYS TO GO!! LIVE! SUNDAY, MARCH 28 EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and, it is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships! vs. Michael Buffer's intro gives way to "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship, bringing out the challengers. Leading the way is Todd Cortez, a good five steps ahead of his contractual team-mates even before Blonde pauses to do a twirl, showing off his faux fur robe. Blonde then heads to the ring relaying strategy to Faqu, by which point Cortez is already in the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. Total combined weight, seven hundred and thirty five pounds... together, they represent Cucaracha Internacional! The team consisting of "THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ... "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... and, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Okay, we're just about set for our next match here at the Leap Year Spectacular. And earlier events have put a very different perspective on this one. Finally joining their partner in the ring, Blonde and Faqu try to show a united front. Well, Blonde does, Faqu just stares down the aisle waiting for someone to attack. Cortez shows nothing but apathy towards the Canadian though, or to the cueing of Bob Sinclar's "Love Generation". The crowd finally have something to cheer about, but still there's a noticeably strange atmosphere in the air, especially when the usually energized Champions make their way out with heads down. BUFFER And the opponents. At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety nine pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, they are D*LLLUUUUUXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. He is Silky Smooth, he is "LUSCIOUS" LEON RODEZ!! Together, are the LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE GGEEENNEEERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The forlorn threesome slowly walk to the ring, with Theodore Moneymaker's earlier announcement clearly still playing on their minds. COLE Well, I don't know how you can expect these three to be in the right frame of mind for a title defence after what happened earlier on. Obviously, no Jade Rodez at their side. And... I guess they're just going to have to try and shut it all out. COACH Exactly. Leave your personal lives at the door, this is about in-ring competition. COLE That's kinda hard to do when your personal lives are being manipulated on worldwide television by Theodore Moneymaker, don't you think? COACH Life's a bitch, huh? COLE Oh quit sulking, what were the odds of you being the kid anyway, seriously? With both teams in the ring, referee Nick Patrick holds up the pile of 6-Man Titles. Sensing that his partners are still far from ready, Leon pulls them into a huddle and tries to give them a pep talk. Meanwhile, it's decided between the challengers that Blonde will start, which he tries to convey to Faqu who's typically ready to pounce. *DINGDINGDING!* Still locked in the huddle, the support of the crowd finally seems to get to the Champions and they break ready to go. Out step D*LUX, leaving Leon the legal man. He applauds the crowd before circling, going to lock up with Blonde, before the Canadian suddenly calls a halt and MOCKS the members of D*LUX by pretending to cry! Both Shayne and Tyler take exception and jump into the ring, only to be held back by both Patrick and Rodez who convince them to calm down. COLE That's real classy, right there. COACH Oh please. If these two saps are so cut up, maybe they should go write a song or something, leave the wrestling to the men. Men like James Blonde. D*LUX step back to the apron, leaving Leon to take exception on their behalf. Pushing his luck, Blonde continues to mouth off and is made to pay with a right hand! Another! And another! And another! Unleashing his frustrations, Leon backs Blonde up against the ropes with the punches before grabbing him by the arm for an irish whip. Blonde takes that as his cue to take a powder as he baseball slides himself under the ropes and to the floor. But to his despair, he slides out right next to D*LUX's corner and gets wiped out as Tyler runs down the apron and launches out with a clothesline!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler quickly bundles Blonde back inside, where he immediately begs off from Rodez. COLE Some man Blonde turned out to be! Picking Blonde up, Leon... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...cracks him across the chest with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another one, Blonde stumbling around the ring trying to get away. Catching up to him, Leon sends Blonde off the ropes again and this time catches him on a rebound, knocking him down with a back elbow. Off the ropes, Rodez follows up with a knee and covers... 1... 2... No! Blonde is quickly out and again retreats, backing into a neutral corner. Rodez rocks him with another couple of straight right hands, then sends him for the ride... NO, reversed, and Leon hits the opposite corner. Following in with a clothesline, JB then hooks up the head for the Bulldog... but gets caught in mid-takeoff and spun around into the Blue Thunder Bomb!! COLE It's Da Boom! 1... 2... No! COACH What is wrong with this guy, wrestling this match as if nothing's happened. Does Leon have no sympathy, no morals, no heart at all!? COLE What the hell happened to 'leave your personal lives at the door'? COACH Do you have no compassion for poor Jade Whateverhersurnameisnow either!? Gah! Wringing out an arm Leon quickly makes the tag, bringing in "Showtime" Shayne to screams of approval. Off the ropes, Shayne drops the double sledge down on the arm and takes over with another wringer. But Blonde quickly pulls the smallest man in the match into a knee and frees himself before any real damage can be done. By the arm, Blonde then pulls Shayne into a second knee, before whipping him towards the challengers' corner. Shayne grabs onto the top rope though, pushing up and hitting Faqu with a knee that sends him off the apron and to the floor! Cortez tries to take a swing, but Shayne avoids that and then sidesteps a charge from Blonde, causing him to collide with The Urban Legend! With both his partners on the floor, Blonde then turns around and finds himself back in the arm wringer, dragged all the way across the ring for the tag to Tyler Bryant. Tyler steps in with a kick to the arm, sweeping Blonde down with an armdrag and hanging onto an armbar to control him. COLE The Champions coping pretty well so far, under tough circumstances. And the one thing we haven't discussed, the challengers are hardly the most well oiled team. Faqu has become this crazed savage over the past half year and Cortez is only in Cucaracha Internacional under duress. Faqu listens to Blonde for some reason, but I can't see a lot of cohesion besides that. COACH And yet, who won the 10 Man Tag last week? Cucaracha Internacional. There's some teething problems, but it's just a matter of time before Cortez clicks into place. Working his way to his feet, Blonde trips up Tyler with a single leg and spins around on the foot before dropping to his knees. Tyler lets out a shout as his knee gets wrenched out of place. And that buys Blonde enough time to get over and tag out to Todd Cortez. COACH See, no problem. With a sudden interest in the match ever since being knocked off the apron, Cortez steps in and CRACKS Tyler in the spine with a hard kick! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cortez pins Tyler down... 1... 2... No! COLE Cortez showing no compassion either way. He's always been somewhat of a lone wolf and as much as he's not on the same page with Blonde or Faqu, he's definately got no allegiance to any of Love Generation either. Hauling Tyler back up, Cortez opens him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lands a chop. He then lands with a kick to the back of the leg, which sends Tyler lunging to the mat with another shout. As Cortez looks down at his opponent Blonde yells at him helpfully from the outside to stay on the leg. To which Cortez replies with a tag, pretty much telling The Trendsetter to do it himself. COLE And that was a pretty short stint for The Urban Legend. COACH Well, you know, quick tags, fresh guy in, all that jazz... Despite not expecting the tag, Blonde has no time to argue as Tyler is already crawling with his hand outstretched for the tag. Rushing in, Blonde grabs the ankle and JUST about pulls Tyler out of reach in time, back into the centre of the ring where he steps over with a Half Boston Crab! Suddenly Tyler forgets all about the tag and it's the ropes he's desperate to get to now, clawing his way around towards them. But Blonde sits back and the ropes suddenly seem that much further away. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Again it's the crowd support that registers with Tyler. And he pushes up off the mat, making another determined crawl and managing to make the ropes! COLE Tyler showing his toughness right there. If he and Love Generation can retain tonight, they'll be celebrating a seven month reign as 6-Man Tag Team Champions when we make it to Colombus for HeldDOWN~! next Thursday. COACH Yeah, but that's a mighty big 'if', because here comes Faqu! Tagging in, the big Samoan stalks over and drags Tyler up by the head. Spun around, a big headbutt drops Tyler right back down to the canvas and leaves him seeing stars. Faqu beats his chest a little, then makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Faqu stands back up, placing his bare foot right across Tyler's windpipe and cutting off his airways. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Faqu counts along with the referee, in Samoan, at the top of his lungs and doesn't actually break on five but is given the benefit of the doubt by the unnerved Nick Patrick. Finally removing his foot, Faqu then drops his big tree trunk like leg across the throat, beating his chest again while referee Patrick checks the shoulders... 1... 2... Tyler rolls a shoulder out! Stalking back to his feet, Faqu walks into the opposite corner of the ring from Tyler, who is using the ropes to help himself back up unaware that he's in The Samoan Bulldozer's path. Faqu waits until Tyler reaches his feet, before suddenly stampeding forward, catching Tyler just as he turns around and CRUSHING him in the corner with an Avalanche!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wind knocked clean out of his lungs, Tyler falls to his knees and then right at Faqu's feet. COLE I still want to know the story behind this metamorphosis that Faqu has gone through. It's so weird to think, two, maybe three years ago this guy was best friends with Leon Rodez. Now look at him. COACH Yeah, stuck with two guys who still think it's 1997. Poor guy. COLE I meant Faqu, but okay. Calling for the tag, James Blonde heads up top. Faqu scoops and slams Tyler for his partner then steps back, as The Trendsetter soars off the top with the Marty Jannetty inspired Fistdrop from the top! A fistpump later and Blonde hooks a leg for the cover... 1... 2... NO! "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Despite his best efforts, Blonde can't convince the St. Louis crowd to quieten down and can only watch as Tyler starts to try and rally back to his feet. A couple of stomps keep Tyler down though, before Blonde grabs a hold of Tyler's long boyband hair and drags him to his feet. Blonde then grabs a loose headlock and looks for a tag from Todd Cortez. The moment's hesitation between the two not-so friendly partners proves costly though, as while Cortez is still considering whether to accept the tag, Tyler pulls Blonde back and into a desperation back suplex!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Leon and Shayne work their magic with the crowd and suddenly it's a race to the tag. Looking maybe the slightest bit disappointed with himself, Cortez hangs an arm out for a tag with everyone else as Blonde and Bryant crawl slowly towards their respective corners. COLE Both teams looking for the tag. But it's Blonde who's closest to his corner, can Tyler make it over to his partners in time? It looks like he might, as Blonde understandbly hesitates in giving Cortez the tag this time around. But with Tyler closing in on his corner he accepts and Cortez rushes in... ...making up for his earlier error by cutting Tyler off!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's right. That's how you redeem yourself. As Leon and Shayne curse at the missed opportunity, Cortez pulls Tyler back up and raps at the leg with a kick. Tyler stays up though despite a buckling of the knee. So Todd quickly cups him behind the head and lands with a European uppercut. And a second. And a third. With Tyler winded, Cortez then picks the legs and looks to take him up for a Crotch Droppah... but finds himself struggling to bring Tyler back down, as the Tremendous One hooks the arms around the waist and kicks his way over the back, into a Sunset Fli... NO! Cortez rolls right through and to his feet, firing off a Buzzsaw like kick... DUCKED! And a schoolboy by Tyler! 1... 2... NO!! Both men scramble up and Tyler dives for the tag... but gets CAUGHT and dropped across the knee with the Crotch Droppah! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE That was the sound of a thousand breaking hearts. As Tyler doubles over nursing his lower extremeties, Cortez takes a quick look behind him to the Love Generation corner. Realising how close he is, he quickly pulls Tyler up and stuffs him in the standing headscissors, looking to spike him with the RIOT ACT PLUS... ...but Leon is alert enough to scramble into the ring and block it!! Holding onto Cortez he pulls him back down to his feet and clubs him in the back a couple of times. Blonde quickly runs over to try and even the odds. But Rodez cuts him off with a boot, before clotheslining down Cortez. Leon then tackles Blonde into a neutral corner, all this allowing Tyler the time to MAKE THE TAG!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Big reprieve for the Love Generation! And in comes Shayne Brave! With Leon and Blonde going at it in one corner, Shayne wastes no time in heading up to the top. Cortez pulls himself up and doesn't seem to realise who's legal, instead going for the first person he sees, Leon Rodez. Grabbing a hold of the singlet he drags Rodez off of Blonde and spins him around, looking to set him up for the Riot Act... but gets taken down by a Flying Clothesline off the top from Shayne before he can complete the move! 1... 2... Blonde breaks the count! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A chop is Blonde's reward, Leon following him to the outside sending the match spilling even further out of control. Back in the ring meanwhile, Shayne waits for Todd to get back up. Once he does though, he manages to swat away a dropkick and grabs Shayne in a waistlock, lifting him off the canvas and back to his feet, then overhead... and landing on his feet again! COACH Woah! COLE No joy with the German. Backed in his corner, Shayne lures Cortez in and gets two boots up to the face as Cortez tries to charge at him. Up to the middle rope, Shayne then takes off looking for a crossbody... but lands right on Cortez's shoulders!! And in a split second, Cortez transitions him out of the fireman's carry, right into the Sitout Spinebuster!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Yes, new Champs! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh, that was a close call! That goes to show what a competitor Todd Cortez is, I seriously doubt he's keen on the idea of being a Six Man Tag Champion with Blonde and Faqu, but he's out for the win just like any other match in his life. Second best is nothing to The Urban Legend, whatever the situation. COACH Or maybe he's finally come to his senses? With Shayne hurting, Todd heads out to the apron and measures his opponent. Up clambers Shayne and Cortez grips onto the top rope, ready for a springboard manoeuver. Shayne gets a rush of adrenaline however, lunging forward with his head lowered. Avoiding the shoulder, Cortez kicks Shayne HARD in the sternum which sends him staggering back off the ropes, in position for a Springboard... ...but just as Todd leaps to the top, SO DOES TYLER BRYANT NEXT TO HIM, PULLING CORTEZ OUT OF MID-AIR WITH A SPRINGBOARD ACE CRUSHER!!!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Springbo..OH MY!!!! COACH Where the hell did THAT come from!? "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Both Cortez and Tyler lay wrecked on the canvas, all a distraction to Shayne who suddenly gets snared from behind and DUMPED ON HIS HEAD with a High Angle Backdrop Suplex from Faqu!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... SAVE BY LEON!!! COLE This one has suddenly kicked into overdrive! Unbelievable! Rodez takes the fight right to Faqu, catching him in the jaw with a quick jab! A jab! A jab! ...but Faqu cuts Rodez off with a quick thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Off the ropes, Faqu looks to mow Leon down, but finds that a little difficult with Leon backpeddaling, luring the big Samoan into a drop toehold that hangs him up over the middle rope! The crowd come to their feet as, sans jig, Leon hits the ropes... and runs right into James Blonde who springs to the apron! COACH Perfect timing. We didn't need to see that. COLE Hey, back in the day, that move gave you one of the few chance to speak when Caboose was around. How fickle a man can be. Grabbing a hold of Rodez's ring gear, Blonde drags him through the ropes and out onto the apron. Blonde then slides back in, getting a quick run-up before springing to the middle rope and coming back with a dropkick that sends Rodez tumbling off the apron and to the arena floor! Just as Blonde jumps back to his feet though, he finds himself following The Silky Smooth One, courtesy of a YAKUZA KICK from Tyler Bryant!! Both Blonde and Leon end up in heaps on the floor, while back in the ring Tyler sees Faqu getting to his feet and charges... ...DUCK of the Yakuza Kick, Faqu waiting for Tyler to come back off the ropes and flattening him with a big Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Three hundred plus pounds of Samoan Drop! COACH I think finding out you're being managed by your lesbian crush's secret daughter is the least of Tyler Bryant's worries right about now, don't you? Rolling Tyler's limp carcass out of the ring, Faqu's eyes lock onto Shayne Brave who is clutching his neck while making a valiant attempt to get back to his feet. He might wish he'd never bothered though, as Faqu spins him around and elevates him over his shoulder before CHARGING him into the turnbuckles!! Shayne's limps fly around like a ragdoll on impact and he falls limply against the bottom turnbuckle as Faqu lets him go. COACH Uh-oh. COLE Oh no. Shayne Brave is in big trouble! With howls of warning going up all through the crowd, Faqu backs up into the opposite corner and loads up, letting out a chilling yell before charging again... COLE LOOK OUT... *WHAM!* ...AND DRIVING HIS BACKSIDE INTO THE FACE OF SHAYNE BRAVE AT FULL SPEED!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE That's like getting hit by a truck! Suddenly the arena is quiet, as Shayne slumps unconsciously against the turnbuckles and shows no signs of life. By the wrist Faqu hauls the 183 pounds of dead weight out of the corner and lifts him back to his feet. But instead of going for a cover as you'd expect, Faqu throws Shayne to the feet of Todd Cortez and in a rather primative fashion tells The Urban Legend to finish him off. COACH Oh, Faqu wants to share the big feast. What a beautiful moment. COLE Shayne is defenceless right now. And look at Cortez, he knows it as well as anyone. What is this, some sort of test? Some sort of initiation? Cortez stares back at Faqu as he pants away, yelling in his native tongue. Reaching down, Cortez does pick Shayne up. And with little sign of emotion either way he grabs Shayne by the throat, hoisting him up and swiftly back down with the URBAN ASSAULT! COACH I love it! COLE Does this mean what I think it means? 1... 2... COACH Yes... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH ...it means new Champions, that's what it means! Pushing Shayne away, Cortez sits and stares as James Blonde pulls himself back into the ring and dives into the arms of the big Samoan. Faqu continues to shout away in Samoan and pounds his chest as Nick Patrick retrieves the belts. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match... and the NEW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... TODD CORTEZ, JAMES BLONDE and FFFAAAAAQQUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde is beside himself with joy, cradling the belt in his hands and doing a victory lap around his big partner. Taking another belt from Patrick he then drapes it over Faqu's shoulder, yelling that they "finally did it". Faqu yells back incomprehensively, taking the belt and placing it in his mouth as he beats his chest, Blonde climbing the turnbuckles and showing off his gold to the unresponsive crowd. Less overjoyed is Todd Cortez though, as he takes the belt from Patrick without celebration. COLE I'm not sure anyone expected it, but we have new 6-Man Tag Team Champions. Who would have thought these three men, at any time in their careers, would come together to be Champions? Unbelievable. COACH And somewhere, Landon Maddix is smiling. You're right, nobody thought it would happen... except him! Landon had a plan and oh boy, do I love it when a plan comes together! From the outside Leon looks on utterly dejected, as his night goes from dreadful to worse watching the over-exuberant celebrations of James Blonde. COLE For the first time in their careers, Faqu and James Blonde are OAOAST title holders. And you can see what it means to James Blonde in particular. Todd Cortez, for the second time, a 6-Man Tag Team Champion. And Cucaracha Internacional... maybe, MAYBE, one big happy family. Out of the ring slides Cortez, walking off with Faqu and the giddy Blonde just a few steps behind him. Left in the ring now are Love Generation who have plenty to mourn as the Leap Year Spectacular fades off to commercials. Brand new at OAOAST.com ANGLEPALOOZA 2008~! on DVD! Featuring: The Entire Show, in full, uncut! (No botches here!) Plus: Bonus Audio Commentary Track- Featuring Melody Nerdly, Leon Rodez and Josh Matthews Show Before The Show Match: Rico de Janeiro vs. Big Frank Bruiser History Of The Lethal Rumble Vignette Post Match Interviews w/Lone Star Gunslingers, Felix Strutter, Theodore Moneymaker, Leon Rodez and John "Rock Hard" Brickston Pre Show Interview w/James Blonde and Faqu Stephen Joseph Popick vs. The Mad Cappa- (HeldDOWN~!, 1/17) Theodore Moneymaker's Big Announcement- (HeldDOWN~!, 1/24) ORDER NOW!

COLE We are back on our big Leap Year Spectacular! We've had quite the show so far! COACH And the beat goes on! In the ring already is an overweight journeyman named Frank Parker. He's probably 5'10, in excess of 300 pounds. His opponent is hitting the ring just now... (The lights come down, then the traditional Japanese music starts up with his light show beginning. Out comes GENSHOU, accompanied by a person in a ninja costume.) COLE That MUST be the man who has brought GENSHOU to the OAOAST! This must be the man who has hired the Oriental Destroyer as his assasian! COACH But who is he?!?!? The ninja signals for GENSHOU to go into the ring, as he takes his position at ringside. BUFFER From Yokohama, Japan, at a weight of 240 pounds...he is the master of the Oriental Tsunami...the mysterious GENSHOUUUUUUUUUUU! GENSHOU removes his traditional Japanese gi and headdress, then hands it to his ninja. *BELL RINGS* Parker, who's a heavy man, wants to lock up with GENSHOU to exert his power. He sticks himself out for the tie-up and gets a Muay Thai knee to the jaw! Parker is dazed, as GENSHOU goes to work with multiple knees to the mid-section, followed by an Irish whip. GENSHOU leaps to the second rope on the opposite side that Parker's bouncing off of, then they collide in mid-ring as GENSHOU connects with a picture-perfect springboard back elbow! GENSHOU pulls Parker up in a Dragon sleeper-like clinch, then connects with his Satsujin Cutter (Last Rites into a stunner variation)! COLE According to my research, Satsujin means "murder" in Japanese! This man has violent intentions! The impact of the move sends Parker flying back into the corner. GENSHOU goes into the opposite corner, then nails Parker with a beautiful one-armed cartwheel-handspring back elbow! He pulls Parker out of the corner by the back of the head and connects with a standing superkick while holding Parker's head! GENSHOU climbs to the top rope...ORIENTAL TSUNAMI! Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! *BELL RINGS* BUFFER Your winner...(Ninja grabs microphone from Buffer, then walks into the ring) COLE Whoa! We're going to find out who this man is! NINJA GENSHOU! Disengage! You think this mask is going to come off. I fool you all. But I will leave you with hints. The X-Division felt my wrath. Zack Malibu has felt my wrath. Now, the entire OAOAST will feel my wrath through the power and violence that is my Oriental Warrior, GENSHOU! COACH That voice sounds eerily familiar and the hints were good ones, but I will not dare guess who he is! COLE We're objective journalists, ya know? But for now, GENSHOU continues his streak of quick, impressive victories here in the OAOAST! Now, TO THE BACK! TAPED TUESDAY THE 26TH Alix Maria Spezia's Condo Los Angeles, California The view is Alix Maria Spezia's home at the end of the “Hollywood” portion of sunset that leads into Beverly Hills. The condo is lavishly decorated, most likely from Mackenzie's influence, as the expensive beige and floral theme furniture and decor takes on an almost sterile, empty feel. Sitting on one of those flower patterned chairs is Terry Taylor. On the couch is Alix Maria Spezia, in a pink and white stripped Abercrombie Polo, and a denim skirt. At her side sits Mackenzie, looking much more professional in a grey business suit. They're backdropped against a room length window that overlooks the Los Angeles skyline. TERRY Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Taylor, here in Los Angeles at the home of Alix Maria Spezia, joined by Mackenzie DeCenzo and Alix hereself. Ladies, thank you for having me in your home. ALIX We coulda done at the Larry King studio but my parole officer says I can't leave the house for a week. MACKENZIE She's kidding, of course. TERRY Yes, of course. By the time this interview piece airs, Theodore Moneymaker will have finally revealed to a viewing audience of billions across the globe the true identity of Krista's child. The mystery has become a hot button topic in the OAOAST, with superstars who aren't even two months younger then Krista thinking they're her kid. With the information out in the public and lives irreparably changed is there anything you would like to say? Do you feel responsible for the lives that have been tragically altered by Moneymaker's behavior? MACKENZIE That issue can be addressed when its ready to be addressed. But, Mister Terry Taylor, I will tell you this when you speak of responsibility you're saying the key buzz word behind all of this. Because when an event of this huge magnitude, like this one which has sort of aroused the activity of bodies not only in the OAOAST, but also the interest of an entire entertainment world, occurs, human nature simply dictates people go scouring for blame. They need a tangible body to pin fault on, and say “There! Right there! That's the bad one!” And usually these judgments are snap, made in seconds and usually without any thought. So what I'm saying to you, and to the audience watching this program, is think once, think twice, and think a third time, before you chose the direction of your blame. Think about who's truly at fault in this debacle. TAYLOR You have to admit that Krista will be crushed by this revelation, her entire world turned upside down... Growing agitated, Alix jerks forward on her seat. ALIX Hey! Hearin' a lot words, but none of them “Gee, Alix, it sure is suck-suck-suck that Krista has been dropping all those really terrible, crappy lies about you” for the last couple months. Attention theater goers, I know you have come to witness a movie, but you about to see a scene! Her world is being turned upside down? Oh, gee, poor widdle diddle Krisssy, me so sowwwy, now she has to pop a couple extra Valium in addition to downing more shots of Jack then Guns N Roses has had guitarists. Let's all crawl under the covers with a big tub of cookies and cream ice cream, and let's sob for Krissy! And let's write a song on acoustic guitar, and post it on YouTube, and let's disable comments when people call us an emo fag. Yeah, dude, let's be all up on that, and let's forget that poor widdle diddle Krisssy has spreading lies about me like Christian Wright spreads his oral warts to Michael Cole underneath the table at Dennys. TERRY What type of lies? MACKENZIE You know exactly what type, Terry. Everytime you stand in line at the supermarket you see them, because they're plastered on the cover of every Esquire, Star, US Weekly. Hollywood Bad Girl Gone Bad: The sorrid tales of Alix Maria Spezia's drug addiction and wild Hollywood nights. Read the quotes in the articles, Terry. “Those close to Alix say her drug use has spiraled out of control to the point where her previously quirky personality traits have taken on a dangerous, manic bent.” “Those close to Alix” aren't really close to her at all, believe you me. They are a cold, manipulative, jealous, old, haggard bitch, who can feel her celebrity star being smoked out of existence by the supernova that is Alix's career. Mister Moneymaker believes she does this sort of thing as some kind of revenge for Alix entrusting me with the secret of her child. I disagree, though. I think Krista's does this kind of sick, twisted shit because, well, it fatally wounds her to see Alix becoming what she never could be under her rule. Independent. Free. Self sufficient. And maybe most importantly more famous then her. TERRY But, Alix, Krista still loves you, there's no way she would ever say anything like that about you! And whenever she mentions that subject about your out of control lifestyle, its because she cares about your health. You might think its great fun to party like that and play your junior high fantasy rockstar games, but there's a serious side effect no one is wising you up to. She's only talking about you, because she loves you. ALIX Well.... MACKENZIE That's where you make your mistake, Terry. Krista is a fabulous actor, its no problem for her to pull the wool over the simplest minds. Which is why you need people like me or Mister Moneymaker, persons of intelligence to hold your hand and take you to the truth. Krista, doesn't love Alix, that's absurd to even suggest that. She doesn't love anyone. Even herself. She hates herself, and the monster that she's become, the fact that she has this incredible celebrity image she has to fuel and drive every second of her life. She's not even a flesh and blood person any more. She's a brand or marketing scheme or a product line. So to compensate she demeans, she lies, and she disparages. The weaker and more insignificant she makes everyone else feel, the greater she thinks she is in comparison. Terry raises his eye brow in skepticism, as Mackenzie smiles with satisfaction. TERRY Certainly your entitled to your opinion, even if it is fed to you by Theodore Moneymaker. But Alix aren't there just too many stories for you and your representatives to keep denying? Haven't we reached a point where there may be some truth in everything you keep labeling a lie? You're in what should be a great time in your life with you working on your debut album, but people keep saying your behavior is arrogant, your anxiety ridden, your dangerously unpredictable and your paranoid. And that's nothing like your normal personality. And when you couple that with you being in and out hospitals, reports of you trashing entire hotel rooms on the road, almost daily reports of you having some sort of incident at a club or a bar or even a mall, these constant denials stop adding up. Angrily, Alix prepares to launch into a tirade but an eternally calm, Mackenzie holds her back. MACKENZIE Alix has it in her to go, go, go. She's still young, and she has such an inquisitive mind. She loves life so much. And she loves music and being around that. She love people, and as we all can attest to, she's such very social person. Its just that given the nature of what sells in the press and media, it makes her a very easy target for what's been some pretty malicious and slanderous disease of rumors from Krista. Terry, I love Alix, and you may not like me, but you have to believe me. Her best interests, well, they are only thing that's ever in my mind. If I thought there was any danger to her health both mental and physical, I would shut everything down in a silly minute. Tired of getting answers only from Mackenzie, Terry turns to Alix in hopes of getting her to speak. TERRY Alix, would you say these questions make you uncomfortable? Angry? ALIX Dude, I'm pissed at Krista, but I'm not angry like angry at you. I, like, don't get angry anymore. Not since I found Kabbalah. Alix holds up her left arm, showcasing a string around her wrist. MACKENZIE Um, That's the string from a bakery box. You didn't find Kabbalah. You found ka-pound-cake. ALIX Your words wash over me. You see, Kabbalah has taught me there is no room for negativity in life. And I believe him. MACKENZIE Kabbalah is not a person either. ALIX Then, uh like, how did he write Hotel California? Duh! Anybooty, you're not really getting me angry or anything, but you are, like, crazy annoying right now, dude. For real. I mean, am I dead? Am I the ghost of Christmas present? “Why Ebenzer, why did you cheat Bob Cratichit out of his paycheck on Christmas day, now his son will forever be a gimp, and his only sexual experiences will come from the transsexual Asian hookers not infested with Christian Wright's crabs.” Dude, I must be the only person alive, who's not really that worried about my life. We have to release ourselves from worry to truly achieve zen unity. Yeah, a lil something I learned in a town called Kabbalah. MACKENZIE Its not a town either. ALIX Riddle me this, riddle me that, then how did it write a book, smarty pants? Anypooter, of course I'm gonna be out in the town, that's my thing, I love to party. Loves it, loves it, loves it! I'm a naturally curious person who's interested in how things work in the world. TERRY I thought you were a naturally lazy person who doesn't care how things work as long as she doesn't have to do anything. ALIX Oh yeah, that's who I am. Ooopsie poopsie! Look, Mr.T, I don't really see, like, why I should be so caught up in being as chill as everyone wants me to be. Dude, no way am I gonna stop who I am, because there's a gazillion cameras, a jealous ex, and a bunch of wanna be DARE counselors on my ass 24/7. I got no reason to chill! Think about it, I just made insane amounts of cash selling off the cookie company to Moneymaker, more then I ever made selling photoshopped nudes of Christian Wright to trannies outside the clubs on Santa Monica. I've got killer new album dropping with the biggest dudes in the industry! Soooooo, I gots to part-ay like its 1999, and Terry, I'm about nine years past the expiration date! TERRY But to the point where you endanger yourself? What about your health! ALIX Terry, if ya want the Wright nudes sooooo freaking bad I'll e-mail 'em to ya like I did his mother and thirty eight members of the republican party, you don't have to wait till I die and will them to you. I'm not dead yet, Terry! Ya don't gotta shove me in the dumpster like they did with so many of my family members who died on their ill fated attempts to illegally cross the border. I'm doing okay, dude. Really, I am. TERRY You have had three separate hospitalizations over the past three months, the most publicized one even cost you to miss HeldDOWN! ALIX Although my teachings under the watchful tutorials of Mr. Kabbalah... MACKENZIE He's not a person, baby, he's not like Mr. Peanut. ALIX Uh, go back to school, dork, Mr. Peanut is not a person. He's a legume! Terry, am I gonna have to go on down to Sears or something, score a Tungsten Carbide five piece metric Drill Bit set so I can drill it into your friggin head? I had heat exhaustion! Heat exhaustion! The heat exhausted me! I don't know what you dudes want me to tell you, am I supposed to jack Doc's DeLorean and take a field trip to like right when my temperature shot up to space the final frontier? You know, I said I like to have fun, but I also kinda like to sort of ya know, be alive! Just because I'm way huge into the party scene doesn't mean that I'm just going around cutting coke with baseheads inside trailers in Riverside. If I had OD'ed on coke or something, do you think I'd be here at home chillin' with you? Maybe, I would, because a massive amount of drug in take is the only explanation I have for associating with you! But, no, I'd be in.. TERRY Rehab. ALIX Get to the back of the bus, Rosa Parks, no way! I'd be in Bogotá with eighty grams of Colombian pure, and getting Pablo Escobar's gang back to functions. MACKENZIE If Alix had a problem, or if I even had the slightest inkling of thoughts that there was something wrong with my baby, she would be the recipient of the best medical care in this country. TERRY And so, you're not partaking in any illegal drug consumption? ALIX Let me hear ya say no, no, no! TERRY And so it was heat exhaustion? ALIX Let me hear ya say yeah, yeah, yeah! TERRY Three times? ALIX Crap, I'm out of Destiny's Child songs to quote. Yeah, Terry, all three times. MACKENZIE Terry the amount of stress that goes hand in hand with putting together a major mainstream album with the type of larger then life artists she's working with is incredible. Unless, you're actually in the studio, right there, being wowed by the level of magical intensity that's going on, you wouldn't possibly understand. And with Alix's desires to produce something of worth and substance, she's only naturally going to be overwhelmed by the process. ALIX Terry…you’re putting me in, like, god, like the weirdest, awfullest position. It’s like I’m trying really to be accessible here with you and with all these super annoying reporters and crap, but I can’t talk to you about anything because you've all got like this messed up thing going on, this... MACKENZIE Preconceived notion on Alix's health created, mutated, and fueled by Krista Isadora Duncan. ALIX Uh-huh, exactly! I know I used to date her and stuff, and I loved her, I really did. And I made her my life, and my eternity, and I felt like total crap when I had to hurt her. But then he does crazy shit like this to me, when I've never said anything that wasn't so incredibly sweet about her in public. She’s a sucky person. She’s a sucky person to do this to me. Mackenzie rubs Alix's shoulder to lend her support. ALIX Ya know, I don't hate her, she can be a very sweet girl, and she does have a big heart. But I’m never gonna like her again. She's done a really messed up thing, and I dunno why. Why did she do it? Why did she do it? Give me a good reason why she did it! TERRY Alix, you did the same thing when you told Mackenzie Krista had an illegitimate child! MACKENZIE She told me that in the trust one builds within a passionate relationship! Okay, I violated that trust when I blabbed to Mister Moneymaker, but like always, my actions were only motivated with Alix's welfare in mind. If you're going to fault me, fault me for being a slave to my love. TERRY Fine, but there's no real proof that Krista ever leaked what you're claiming to be a lie. That's a theory first propagated by Theodore Moneymaker, and one that Mackenzie has kept ramm.. ALIX Oh my god, I can't do this. When you sit, like, in my face, and you know what she's doing to me, you know, and then you try and be all like “but Alix she still loves you.” Whatever, man. If she loved me, if she ever really loved me, she wouldn’t do shit like that to me. Okay? I mean, I, like, I really don't even know what to say. You're driving me crazy right now, 'cause, like, I can have this whole conversation everyday of stupid week. I do have this conversation everyday, and no one ever pauses and thinks “Hey maybe this gal is on to something”! I don't want to talk about the rumors, I just wanna talk about my CD or my clothing line, anything but this. But, I don't get anything but this! You know that its, like, it’s not gonna be okay until Krista is gone. Like, you know that. Because she is the problem. Okay? Its her. Terry nods solemnly before opening his mouth to ask a follow up question. But no words come from his mouth, due to Mackenzie interrupting him. MACKENZIE (arrogantly) Lucky you, Terry, huh. Your cross country trip to the Golden State has come with a very nice reward. TERRY What do you mean by that? Reward? MACKENZIE Yes, reward. You're privileged to biggest scoop of the 08, and what did you have to do to get your hands on it? Practice irresponsible journalism? Completely fail to present any objectivity in your line of questioning? Join in with the media circus to exacerbate this delicate situation? Doesn't matter at all, you're the man with the microphone, and that makes you the man with the scoop. Bit of background info for you, though. Every time Alix and Krista would return home to Los Angeles to perform for the OAOAST, the crowd reaction was astronomical. Like a virtual sonic boom, they easily got the largest reaction of the night. No one ever topped them, because Hollywood loves its celebrities, and Los Angeles loves its own. TERRY I remember very well. But is our stroll down memory lane planning to reach a destination? MACKENZIE Sure, of course it will, just like at the end of every show in Los Angeles, we'd all reach one unified question, “Who would get cheered loudest in Los Angeles? Alix or Krista? How would the fans react if they were to fight?” Well, Terry, on March 30th that question can finally be answered. Mister Moneymaker, and I are going to give to the world a true battle of Los Angeles, and epic match for an epic city, the city of angels favorite daughters, the two queens of California, Krista Isadora Duncan, and Alix, one and one for the first time ever. Right in the city that's as much a part of them as Krista's fitness empire, or Alix's curly brown hair. Look me in the eye and tell me you aren't just a little bit wowed by that. TERRY I'm...I'm....I'm more then a little wowed, I'm a lot! MACKENZIE And you should be, Terry. You should be. And, you'll be even more wowed when the second largest city in America casts Krista out its limits and embraces Alix as their one and only. Alix shows no real reaction to the news, a stark contrast to the excitement presented by Mackenzie. TERRY Alix, how do you feel about fighting your ex-girlfriend, a woman you've been inseparable from for twelve years? In your hometown no less? ALIX For you, its this so huge, and wild deal, and everyone is gonna go all crazy, “Oh Alix and Krista, in Los Angeles. Oh, dude, rad!” But this is my life, dude, and this is my home from cradle to grave. Krista and I used to argue all the time, but I never wanted to hurt her. I really,like, hoped that she wouldn’t make me want to but she really did. It just sucks. She was the only one I've ever really given all my heart to and it sucks that I did and I really regret it and next time I won’t. I just feel like I’ve been put in the worst situation possible. And its her fault. She was my best friend and now it’s so weird and it’s just getting weirder and this whole thing is just so, so, so incredibly out of control... Alix trails off, leaving Mackenzie to put her arm around her to provide comfort. MACKENZIE Terry, I think this conversation is rather futile. Alix walks in company with hatred, as long as she draws the breath to curse Krista's name, she can't be defeated. She wield her hatred and crush Krista with it. TERRY Well, then, there we have it. Alix Maria Spezia against Krista Isadora at Anglemania, two Los Angeles girls going at it right here in Hollywood. That's going to be enormous! For the OAOAST, I'm Terry Taylor, hoping you enjoy the rest of the show THE PRODUCERS OF THE SHOW WISH TO THANK THE FOLLOWING SPONSER:

BUFFER The following contest is a Sin City Street Fight for the One & Only World Tag Team Championship! HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! vs. The late Kurt Cobain’s vocals booming in the background, Synth and Logan swagger out in matching leather outfits. Visible under Synth’s jacket is an Obama ‘08 t-shirt. As for Logan, he’s too much of a Macho MACHO Mann to wear a shirt underneath. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents in association with HOLLY-WOOD the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time... THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Colonel Abdullah uses his beloved Koran to purify the surroundings and protect the Heavenly Rockers from evil. A gesture much appreciated by Synth who kisses the Islamic holy book. COACH Isn’t great to see the Colonel back from his peace mission in his native land of Syria? COLE Yeah, it’s just too bad his name wasn’t on the No Flight List. But what a war this should be, ladies and gentlemen. The Lone Star Gunslingers so irate with the Heavenly Rockers they agreed to face them in any type of match they wanted. Of course they selected their specialty, a Sin City Street Fight, and demanded the titles be at stake. COACH And let us not forget the Heavenly Rockers are undefeated in Sin City Street Fights. “Heart-Shaped Box” winds down and is replaced by Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller,” bringing fans out of their seats for the arrival of the reigning tag team champions. BUFFER Their opponents, from San Antonio, Texas, at total combine weight of 487 pounds, the One & Only tag team champions of the woooorld... JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The Gunslingers rush the ring, but the Heavenly Rockers hide behind the two -- yes, two -- officials assigned to the bout. Mann orders Michael Buffer over for some mic time. LOGAN Gunslingers, before the greatest rock ‘n‘ wrestling band of all-time beat punk your asses yet again, I want you to be absolutely clear about the rules. That’s why I have Earl Hebner and Nick Patrick by our side. So zebras, this being a Sin City Street Fight that means anything goes? HEBNER Right. SYNTH Any and everything, word? PATRICK Correct. LOGAN Like say… * SWOOSH * …a handful of POWDER in the Gunslingers’ eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH If the Lone Star Gunslingers didn’t understand the rules before, they do now after that visual demonstration. * DINGDINGDINGDING * The Heavenly Rockers grab hold of the TAG TITLES and begin WHIPPING the Gunslingers unmercifully. Baron takes it like a man as he reaches for the ropes, unwilling to give Logan the satisfaction of seeing him in a world of hurt. Rammed into the buckle Baron is then dumped outside and introduced to the RINGPOST. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Logan channels his inner Martha Stewart and rearranges the ringside area, slamming the TIMEKEEPER’S TABLE on Baron, now covered in blood, as Synth CLOTHESLINES Jock inside with the TAG BELT, slicing him open as his face meets the center gold plate! *clap**clap**clap**clap**clap* COLE This fantastic crowd trying to spur on the champions, both now deeply lacerated after being ambushed. COACH For the last time, it was a visual demonstration. The fact they’d take the time to teach a couple of youngsters a lesson right before a big title match shows how dedicated they are to their craft. COLE I think you’ve spent too much time with the Heavenly Rockers in the modern day Mystery Machine that is the Saints & Sinners tour bus. Perched on the second rope, Synth wraps the tag belt around his elbow…and then crashes down on Jock! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Fortunately for the TX Twister, Synth lands on his chest and not his face. A painful move nevertheless. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron’s rolled back inside and he struggles to his feet, swinging wildly in self defense, the blood trickling into his eyes. A sharp left jab from Logan Mann knocks him on his rear, but the tall Texan and proud American refuses to stay down, courageously popping back up. Trembling with rage, Baron asks Logan to bring it and he does, following a well placed kick to the midsection with a running double axe handle smash! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Colonel Abdullah riles the crowd by giving praise to Allah. His rockers, meanwhile, prepare to play a once crowd favorite. First they dispose of Jock Mulligan. Then it’s straight to the top for Logan Mann as Synth readies to deliver a power bomb. COACH Electric Melody, Cole! It’s been a long time since we’ve seen the greatest rock ’n’ wrestling band of all time use -- or should I say play? -- that. COLE How reprehensible! After their conduct at Anglepalooza, for the Heavenly Rockers to regain the tag titles with a move that incidentally bears the manager of the Lone Star Gunslingers’ name is insult to injury. COACH And I love it. One last FU to Jock and Baron. As Logan balances himself on the top rope, Synth decides to kill some time by playing a little air guitar with Baron still tuck between his legs. Needless to say Baron easily counters with a backdrop, and then catches Logan coming off the top with a shot to the gut! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd erupts as Mann and Windels begin trading fire, and Baron gets the better of it, first blocking a wicked left hook and then kicking… LOGAN …square between the legs! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" HOLLY COLE Any special plans Lolly had for tonight in the event the titles changed hands are out the widow now. Synth tries to get him some of Baron and suffers the same fate as his partner (kicked low), crumbling to the mat in pain, blues and agony. A revitalized, not to mention bloody, Jock Mulligan returns to the ring and the Gunslingers put on their LOLLERSKATES, figuratively speaking, decking Synth and then Logan with the ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK!! ABDULLAH A combination of jabs and Cowboy Bebop elbows stun Logan Mann, but not as much as the BACK KICK THAT CONNECTS LOW. Baron then removes his COWBOY BOOT and CLUBS LOGAN OVER THE HEAD! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH I can’t believe the number of people cheering on a hate crime…and during Black History Month no less. Baron tosses the boot to Jock and he wallops the Synthmeister. The Gunslingers not only smell blood they actually see it, drawing the crowd into a frenzy as they pound their fists into the open wounds of Synth and Logan! COLE Oh, hell yeah! The champs kicking ass in St. Louis. The Lone Star Gunslingers pair off in opposite corners and ram the Heavenly Rockers into the buckles again and again, leaving blood splattered all over the pads. Baron gnaws on Logan’s forehead while fans count the number of times Jock hammers Synth from the second rope. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! The Gunslingers whip Synth and Logan towards one another, causing a violent collision mid-ring. Jelly-legged, Synth teeters along the ropes…and Jock clotheslines him over the top, but his momentum sends him out as well. Luckily he’s able to land on his feet and continue his attack, bashing the Synthmeister across the back with a STEEL CHAIR. Mulligan places the chair on the floor and sets for a piledriver, but Colonel Abdullah intervenes, strangling him from behind with a TV CABLE! COLE Hey, come on, damnit. Abdullah’s only supposed to be an observer, not a participant. That’s why a second official was assigned -- to prevent this sort of stuff from happening. Unable to reach Abdullah through diplomacy, he drops a bomb on the Heavenly Rockers‘ guiding light by EJECTING him. ABDULLAH Holly argues Nick Patrick doesn‘t have the authority to do that, apparently forgetting he’s a licensed official, to which he reminds her of by pointing to his stripe t-shirt. COACH I’ve heard of activist judges, but now we got activist referees, Cole. How dare Nick Patrick violate Colonel Abdullah’s civil rights! What a travesty of justice that was. Already outraged by the referee’s decision, Abdullah becomes even more agitated when the crowd serenades with a familiar tune on the way out. “NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA… HEY HEY HEY… GOODBYE" Back in the ring, Logan‘s continued to be dominated, beaten on the verge of unconscious. However, he somehow manages to reverse an Irish whip, and Synth clobbers Baron with a STEEL CHAIR! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Windels stumbles forward into a WICKED LEFT HOOK! COACH Turn off the lights, the party’s over, baby boy. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The Heavenly Rockers put the boots to Baron, with Logan going as far as paint brushing him in the process. Holly tosses a chair inside to her husband who sets it to his liking. Their faces a crimson mask, Synth and Logan twirl the FINGER OF DEATH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, no. Double Percussion on the steel chair? "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Jock to the rescue, as the Texas Twister floors Synth with the infamous running BUTT thump (BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS), distracting the Macho MACHO Mann long enough for Baron to deliver his third LOW BLOW of the night! COACH Yet another low blow from Baron, Cole. This guy’s a dirty fighter. COLE Hey, if you didn’t understand the rules before, you do now after that “visual demonstration.” Pwned! Whatever that means. Baron quickly grabs Logan and spikes him with a DDT of his own! COLE Brigham Young Cocktail! The cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! Holly yanks Baron off Logan. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Earl Hebner keeps Baron from going after Holly… "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" …but there’s nothing he can do to stop MELODY NERDLY. COACH This place is so loud I can barely hear myself think. COLE A standing ovation for the returning Melody Nerdly. But what’s that thing she’s got behind her back? COACH It’s called an ass. Of course you wouldn’t know since that’s a girl and not a boy. Holly welcomes back Melody by daring her to cross an imaginary line she draws. Melody smiles wryly and whacks Holly with a BASEBALL BAT! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH First the fans cheer a hate crime and now assault and battery? It’s a sad day in American history. Baron receives the bat from Melody and pins Logan’s arm to the mat with his boot. COLE Do it. Clip that son of a bitch’s wings! The self-proclaimed Macho MACHO Mann begs for mercy, offering his right hand in act of good faith. Baron looks to the fans for guidance and they emphatically say no. That all Baron needs to hear. He swats Logan’s hand with the bat and then SPITS on him! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron swings the bat…but Synth falls on the arm and takes the hit for his partner! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH Other than Greg Anderson, there isn’t a better friend in the world than Synth. The Gunslingers don’t share Coach’s sentiments, which Jock reinforces by planting Synth in the center of the ring with his signature TEXAS PRAYER BOOK (running power slam). But instead of going for the pin he and Baron roundup Logan, serving him their brand of justice with the LONE STAR LASSO!! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron’s not done with Logan yet. Melody and Jock cheer him on as he sits Logan on the top turnbuckle. As he climbs onto the middle rope and hooks Logan’s head, there’s a commotion in the stands. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Inexplicably, the Enterprise’s Director of Security, CPA, makes his presence felt. He enters the ring after shoving Nick Patrick down and levels Jock with a BIG BOOT, then waist locks an unsuspecting Baron Windels from behind, driving him straight to the mat with the DOMINATOR! COLE What the hell?! Damn him! Logan gains his footing on the top rope and spreads his wings before flying, spiking both knees into the sternum of Baron Windels!! ONE… TWO… THREE!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and for the third time your One & Only World Tag Team Champions…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bloody, battered and beaten, the Heavenly Rockers aren't in any mood to celebrate. They receive the tag titles from Earl Hebner and hold them high with pride. COLE This is highway robbery. The Gunslingers had the match won until CPA of all people bailed out the Heavenly Rockers. COACH It was a brother sticking up for another brother. Somebody had to remind Baron Windels it was 2008 and not 1850. COLE That's enough out of you. Fans, we'll be back with more after this time out. Leap Year Spectacular STILL TO COME World 6-Man Tag Title Match BUT NEXT GENSHOU

Not bad, but I probably could've done a better job with this. Or maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. [i]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/i] [b][color="#008000"]The Enterprise [/color]presents... In association with the [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST[/color] and [color="#4169E1"]TSM[/color][/b] [img=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/reeltalk.jpg] "Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience." [size=1]Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Produced & Directed By Simon Singleton[/size] "BOOOOOOOOO [i]*canned applause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!" The curtain rises and there waiting for us is… [b][color="#808000"]GUEST STAR[/color][/b] [img=http://www.popstarsplus.com/images/JimRossPicture.jpg] [b][color="#8B0000"]JIVIN' JR[/color][/b] As is the custom on a sitcom, the guest star receives a warm reception from the live audience. The Boomer Sooner tips his cap/hat to the OAOAST faithful on hand before heading to the VIP Lounge as Ned Blanchard picks up their drinks at the bar, taking a moment to flirt with the barmaids. NED :huh: Blanchard notices he’s on live and rushes over to the lounge, psyching out Jivin’ JR on a high five attempt as the LED screen high above displays the up-to-date total number of women Ned has slept with in his quest to break Wilt Chamberlain‘s historic record of 20,000: [font="Lucida Console"][color="red"]CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 2,008 happy -- and very sore -- bitches! ^ 125 from last December[/color][/font] NED It’s time once again for everybody to get REEL and TALK about the issues you truly care about. Ned Blanchard, your handsome host, back live and in living color after spending the last month training hard across this great land of ours, evident by the sign overhead. And for all you ladies overseas, I’ll be catching up with you on the OAOAST’s annual world tour in April and May. But I’m joined this week by guest co-host, the original voice of the OAOAST, an Okie who fell on hard times after the IZ-HD merger of ‘04, the man, the myth, the legend himself, Jivin’ JR! JIVIN’ JR Well Ned, it’s a real pleasure to be here filling in for your partner Simon Singleton who’s keeping the director’s seat warm in the truck as Molly is feeling a bit under the weather this week. I know I speak on behalf of everyone in wishing that young lady a speedy recovery. "BOOOOOOOOO [i]*canned applause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!" NED Absolutely. Get well soon Molly. Simon and I miss mentally tag teaming you. * canned laughter * NED Anyway, good to have you with us Jivin’ JR. You know, folks, it’s been awhile since you’ve had the opportunity to engage in some Reel Talk so let’s get right to business. What do you say JR? Presidential politics? The situation in Cuba and Kosovo? JIVIN’ JR AS GOD IS MY WITNESS…NEITHER! I’m a meat and potatoes type of guy. Those are major news stories to be sure, but all that pales in comparison -- and I think fans would agree -- to what’s going on in the OAOAST. NED Why didn’t I think of that? You’re exactly right. With AngleMania coming up the rear… * canned laughter * NED …and the Leap Year Spectacular next week, the OAOAST will be all over the news. So then let us talk about OAOAST related issues, particularly the Leap Year Spectacular because it’ll host the 2008 Anderson Cup Finals with my guests on the hippest and most happening talk show known to man or alien life form. Say JR, what’s your take on the AC Finals? [size="3"][b][color="#FF0000"]HOT NEWZ[/color] Reel Talk confirms the OAOAST has signed a Sin City Street Fight between the Heavenly Rockers and Lone Star Gunslingers for the OAO World Tag Team Championship at the [color="#9ACD32"]Leap Year Spectacular[/color]. Log on to OAOAST.com for more information. [/b][/size] JIVIN’ JR It’s gonna be a real slobber knocker, Ned. I look for Rick and Scott to try and use their strength to their advantage and for Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin to employ a hit-and-run offensive style. Both have tremendous amateur wrestling credentials, with the slight edge going to Team Heyross. NED Rick and Scott? Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin? Who the hell are they? Have you been hitting the sauce again? JIVIN’ JR Is so damn good! Unable to control himself any longer, JR pops open a bottle of his world famous BBQ SAUCE and gulps it down! “CHUG!” “CHUG!” “CHUG!” Jivin’ JR tears his shirt off and parties in the stands with the fans, pouring BBQ sauce down brave souls throats as the OU fight song blares in the background. The music fades and we cut back to Ned at the lounge. NED I guess that does it for him, but not for me. Before I bring out my guests, there’s a very important person I’d like to introduce to you at this time. For years he served as the enforcer of the Horsemen -- the Enterprise of their day, only not as rich and sexy -- and held the tag team championship with 4 different partners. Younger fans know him better as the man the OAOAST named its tag tournament after. Ladies and gentlemen… ARN ANDERSON! Standing ovation for Double A, his arms raised holding up the legendary 4 fingers. NED Welcome to the show, old man. ARN Old man? NED Hey, no disrespect meant. But you are old. ARN I may be old, but like fine wine I get better with age, Blanchard. So I suggest you watch your attitude or I just might have to adjust it for you. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED We’re cool. We’re cool. No reason to get all fired up. I don’t want your pacemaker to short-circuit on live television. Let’s get to the reason why you’re out here. The 2008 Anderson Cup Finals is next week and I want to get your thoughts the Sooner Bruisers/Team Heyross match up. I know it’s hard to get excited about the AC with the Beverly Hills Blonds out of it but please try anyway. ARN That reminds me. What happened to you and Simon? Oh, that’s right. You got eliminated in the first round by the Christ Air Express. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED :angry: ARN But to answer your question, I think Jivin’ JR summarized it pretty well. You have what many people consider to be the most psychically dominating tag team in OAOAST history against, in my humble opinion, the best pound for pound tag team in professional wrestling today, Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin. It makes for a heck of a match up. One I look forward to seeing next week on the Leap Year Spectacular. NED If you had to pick me a winner right now, who would it be? And don’t let the fact I’m about to bring out both teams influence your decision. ARN Boy, I tell ya, it’s hard. It really is. That’s how evenly matched they are. NED Way to go out on a limb there, buddy. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 2008 Anderson Cup finalists, the MWC and Los Infernales Conference Champions… THE SOONER BRUISERS and TEAM HEYROSS! Both teams receive a mixed reaction as they walk onto the set from opposite sides, each acknowledging the presence of Arn Anderson. Now face to face they surprise Ned by shaking hands in a sign of respect. NED Aw, isn’t that sweet? Big Frank, I’ll start with you since you have the reputation of being semi controversial. One more W and the Sooner Bruisers are going to AngleMania to face the One & Only World tag team champions, whoever that may be. BIG FRANK Confident as we are, the job ain’t done yet. Moss, Benjamin, people might say you’re great, and we can appreciate your wrestling ability…but you don’t have the size and you damn sure ain’t got the muscle to hang with me and my brother. The fact is, we’re former World tag team champions, having ran roughshod over the tag div-- BENJAMIN Here we go again. This is what I was talking about last week. From the championship committee to every tag team on the roster, Charlie and I have never gotten the respect we’ve deserved. Respect isn’t given, it’s earned, right? Well that’s exactly what we’ve been doing since this tournament began. And people are finally starting to notice, from that same championship committee to even the fans. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MOSS We know it’s going to be a war next week, but there aren’t too many people in this world that can say they’ve made grown men cry just by placing them in a front facelock. UBER You think you could make one of us cry? Last time I checked neither one of our names was Brock Lesnar. No hold will cause us to panic or even break a sweat. MOSS Maybe I can’t get either one of you to cry, but I know I can get one of you to cry uncle once I slap on the Mossy Knoll. BIG FRANK I don’t know about you, but we’re in no hurry. Why don’t you try to make us cry uncle right now?! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Off go the shirts and hoodies, as both teams are ready to start the AC Finals a week early, pushing and shoving one another. Arn Anderson and a herd of officials try to keep the peace while Ned pleads to “Let them fight!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The peace is kept but the fans don’t like it and neither does Ned. NED That sucks. Let them raise hell. It’s good for ratings! Well, I guess that’s a wrap. Until next time, Ned Blanchard telling you to keep it Reel Talk.

Reel Talk with special guests Team Heyross and Sooner Bruisers

BUFFER The following Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall with a 45 minute time limit and is for the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Championship! [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/cwtmsooner.jpg] "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter blasts through the loud speakers and the Sooner Bruisers emerge as the clear favorites in our next match. BUFFER Introducing first, hailing from the great state of Oklahoma, at a total combined weight of 530 pounds and ranked second in the MWC Conference, the former professional wrestling tag team champions of the world, BIG FRANK and UBER... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Oiled from head to toe is Big Frank, but even more noticeable is the heavily bandage left knee and slight limp of Uber. COLE There you see the battle scar from last week's encounter with the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, whom the Bruisers defeated to advance to the MWC Conference Finals here tonight. COACH And you know what they say about a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Which is why things are about to get quite interesting. [I]Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price[/I] With the biggest shit-eating grins imaginable on their faces, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright are rather jovial for two men about to square off against the most punishing tag team in OAOAST history. Perhaps still giddy over the acquisition of Mrs. Spezia's Cookies. BUFFER And their opponents, being led down the aisle by their Chief Financial Officer, MACKENZIE DECENZO, and Director of Security, CPA. Representing the Enterprise, the top ranked team in the MWC Conference, also former tag team champions...CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker asks for and receives the microphone from Michael Buffer. THEODORE Cut the music. * music dies * THEODORE Bruisers, as independent contractors I know you're forced to live paycheck to paycheck like all the other nickel-and-dimers in the arena and watching at home. I also know Big Frank that your brother is nursing a boo-boo that may require surgery later down the line without the proper rehabilitation program, the kind of which you won't receive under the OAOAST's healthcare plan, or lack thereof. So I'm prepared to offer you the deal of a lifetime. For walking away with your personal welfare in tact, I'm willing to PAY for the treatment Uber rightly deserves. That means the finest doctors money can buy will ensure you'll never have to miss any time and therefore a payday if you accept my offer. Because I'm in such a good mood tonight, I'll even include a cool million dollars for each of you! BIG FRANK Throw in the broad and you got a deal. MACKENZIE :lol: THEODORE Gentlemen... Mackie begins nodding, as if saying, you put them in their place Teddy. THEODORE ...it's been a pleasure doing business with you. MACKENZIE :huh: COLE I can't believe Theodore Moneymaker just pimped out his Chief Financial Officer. COACH Who says Mr. Moneymaker is partisan? He used a page out of the Clinton playbook! Although that means you're about to be suspend for your "pimped out" comment, Mikey. MACKENZIE No, I'm seeing Alix. BIG FRANK Girl, I don't know if you're a hardcore dyke or just bi, but once I insert my disc into your drive you'll forget about the rest and come with the best. On second thought, you're a bit tacky for my tastes. The Superfreak may like 'em a bit freaky but they also need to be classy, and you ain't got no class for me to start tapping that ass. Mackie SLAPS Big Frank. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Known for his short temper, code for ROID RAGE, Big Frank moves in on Mackenzie but is confronted by CPA. BIG FRANK You better sit your ass down before I knock you on it! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CPA removes his sleeveless t-shirt in response and gears up for war. So focused are Big Frank and Uber on the Enterprise's Director of Security, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright slip behind them undetected. And Wright BLASTS Big Frank with his BRIEFCASE, sending the Man of Tomorrow flying out to the floor as Moneymaker delivers a CHOP BLOCK on Uber!!! COLE For the second week in a row a chop block has been used to bring Uber down. That move has no purpose in professional wrestling and ought to be outlawed in my opinion. It can end a man's career, damn it. COACH Uber has only himself to blame, Cole. It's not Teddy's fault the guy is totally unaware of his surroundings. You wouldn't see him or CW get clipped I promise you that. Ever the opportunist, Christian Wright slams the briefcase down on the bandage knee of Uber Bruiser just before referee Earl Hebner signals for the bell, sliding it over to Mackenzie once he‘s through. * DINGDINGDING * Wright rips off the knee pad/bandage on Uber's leg and with Moneymaker's help drags him to their corner, where they repeatedly slap his leg across the ring post! "OW, OW, OW...OWWWWWWWW!" The fans HOWL in support of the Psycho Gremlin, who's also howling but in pain. COACH Who'd have thought the Sooner Bruisers would become such fan favorites a year ago? COLE The fans certainly love their smash mouth style of wrestling. Winning isn't enough for them, they want to beat you up in the process! But right now they're the ones getting beat up. Whatever's in that briefcase of Christian Wright's has knocked Big Frank loopy. Right on cue, we cut to a shot of the Man of Tomorrow struggling to his feet. Inside, a tag has been made and after stretching the hamstring Theodore Moneymaker locks on the FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK!! COACH With the condition Uber's knee is in, you gotta wonder how much longer he can go, Cole. Then again, he's stupid enough to risk his career just to prove he's a big tough guy. COLE The Bruisers are built like tanks, and you can't break a tank. The Psycho Gremlin steadfastly refuses to quit, the perspiration dripping off his red face as he grits his teeth in a desperate attempt to block the pain. Senior official Earl Hebner right there to make the call, face to face with Uber...but it opens the door for Teddy and CW to lock hands for added leverage! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A split second behind the crowd, Earl turns and sees nothing but CW chatting with CPA in the corner. Suddenly Mackie begins screaming "He tapped out. He tapped out!" EARL :huh: Played like a fool, Earl asks Uber if he tapped. "No!" howls the Psycho Gremlin, pointing behind the official as Teddy and CW lock hands again. COLE Damn it, Earl. Turn around! Everybody in the arena sees the illegal double-team except the guy in the stripes. Unbelievable. Earl takes another look, but now CW is chatting with Mackie. He questions Wright and of course he denies any shenanigans. BIG FRANK has enough. Having shook off the cobwebs, the Man of Tomorrow storms inside and breaks the grip of Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, spiking the Billion Dollar Heir with a big elbow before knocking CW off the apron!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The MWC top seed and high ranking Enterprise members are fast to regroup, as Moneymaker and Wright tag. Clawing towards his corner, Uber is drilled by a MIDDLE ROPE ELBOW DROP! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT, AND WITH AUTHORITY! COLE Down but not out is Uber Bruiser. Still a lot of fight left in the Psycho Gremlin. CW measures Uber and drops him with a SUPERKICK. Rather than go for the cover Wright grapevines the legs and applies the WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF!! COACH Another painful submission hold right there, Cole. If Uber doesn't put his pride aside he's gonna leave with a broken leg. "UBER!" "UBER!" "UBER!" Too far away from the ropes Uber must somehow escape Wright's clutches or quit. Needless to say, he chooses the former and displays a tremendous amount of upper body strength PUSHING UP AND OUT to flip Christian Wright over! MACKENZIE :bubbles: ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! COLE How about that? Uber was simply trying to get out of the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and nearly scored the pin. COACH That surprised him as much as it did CW. As you said, Uber was just looking for a way out of the hold and almost got the 1-2-3. Christian got trapped underneath for a second. A couple of seconds to be exact. Wright rolls to his corner to make the tag and Moneymaker catches the Psycho Gremlin with a BILLION $ KNEELIFT, then drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! The Billion Dollar Heir smashes Uber's shin down onto his bent knee, then goes for the figure-4...but Uber kicks him in the rear and Theodore smacks his face into the turnbuckle, stumbling back into the arms of Uber Bruiser and a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Unfortunately for the Bruisers, Moneymaker lands near the Enterprise side of the ring and easily tags out. Christian Wright sneaks up behind Uber, now on his feet and facing his corner, and brings him down with an INVERTED DDT! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! WRIGHT :angry: The Natural stomps Uber hard in the chest and sets him up for a piledriver, with Theodore Moneymaker ready to spike him from the top...but the Psycho Gremlin COUNTERS with a BACKDROP and catches Moneymaker on the way down in a POWERSLAM!! "OW, OW, OW...OWWWWWWWW!" With his two major obstacles out of the way, Uber is finally able to make the (HOT) TAG! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Big Frank nails Christian with a series of right hands, then fires him off and delivers a PRESS SLAM! Moneymaker receives a slam of his own but of the traditional variety. Kick to the gut double CW over, and the Man of Tomorrow follows up with a TIGER BOMB!! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!!! The pin is broken up by Theodore Moneymaker. He rakes Big Frank's eyes and sets for an Irish whip, but it's reversed and the Billion Dollar Heir gets taken around the world for free in a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!! COLE The Bruisers are leaving Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright black and blue. COACH This referee has lost control of the match, Cole. Big Frank's gouging eyes, pulling hair and I think even uttered something anti-Semitic. COLE (appalled) He did no such things. Big Frank signals for the FRANKENSTENER and shoots CW in, but CPA trips him up and the Man of Tomorrow lands hard on the canvas. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wright shakes off the cobwebs and readies Big Frank for a Stockmarket Crash, but it's blocked twice and Big Frank counters with the 69 DRIVER!!! MACKENZIE :o ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * CPA is too late breaking up the pin, and Big Frank rolls out to the floor to celebrate with his little brother who can barely stand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing to the Finals of the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" * CUE REPLAY * COACH If any move should be outlawed it's the 69 Driver. Somebody could break a neck. COLE Just like a chop block could break a leg. COACH Yeah, but nobody sells a plastic neck like they do a leg. The replay ends and we cut back to the Bruisers with their hands raised in triumph on the stage. COLE So the Sooner Bruisers advance to the Anderson Cup Finals. And we'll be back with more right after this.

Just to give everyone a head's up, the Anderson Cup Final is main eventing the show. The tag division rarely has that honor and since this is a glorified HD I figured it shouldn't be that big of a deal. OAO World Tag Team Championship Sin City Street Fight The Heavenly Rockers vs. Lone Star Gunslingers

BUFFER The following non-title match is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from the Palmetto State… COACH South Carolina for all you idiots out there. BUFFER …Casey O’Neil and Scott Sampson! Sampson and O’Neil heel it up to a chorus of BOOS, which quickly become CHEERS as "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy cues in the background. BUFFER Their opponents, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 487 pounds, the One & Only tag team champions of the world... JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE As the premier tag team in the sport today head to the square circle, let’s hear for the first time since Anglepalooza from Melody Nerdly in this pre-recorded message. [color="#FF8C00"][b]* SWOOSH *[/b][/color] We cut to Melody with an XBOX 360 controller in one hand and bowl of ice cream on her lap as she rests comfortably on her bed surrounded by stuffed animals and flowers. MELODY Hey everybody. After letting me into your homes every week for the past year now I’m letting you into mine! Sucks that I can’t be there live supporting Jock and Baron, but I want you all to know even though I’m still a bit shaken up from what happened at Anglepalooza I’m doing fine. I’ve spent my downtime playing video games, illegally downloading music and reading all the kind messages left on my MySpace page. As for when I’ll be back I don’t know…but I will be back! [color="#FF8C00"][b]* SWOOSH *[/b][/color] COACH Do the world a favor and stay home. As the video concludes, the Gunslingers bum-rush the ring and beat the snot out of Sampson and O’Neil, pummeling them with Texas sized right hands. * DINGDINGDING * COLE Oh, man. Here they go! This match signed to give Jock and Baron the opportunity to release some steam and they’re doing just that. COACH These guys are a menace to society, Mikey. Forget Britney. 5150 the Lone Star Gunslingers. Sampson and O’Neil are whipped in and back dropped. They pop up only to get knocked right back down courtesy of stereo dropkicks. Out to the floor goes Sampson, leaving O’Neil at the mercy of Jock and Baron, who send him in for the ride… ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK! COACH Inexperienced as they are, Casey O’Neil and Scott Sampson aren’t a couple of lightweights in there. They’re big guys. What would you say, Cole -- about 6’1, 6’2 respectively? COLE I’d say that’s about right. Motivated by Melody and fueled by anger the Lone Star Gunslingers are. And we certainly send our best to Melody who’s back home watching like millions of others on TSM. The cover! ONE… TWO… NO! The Gunslingers aren’t done yet. Baron rams Casey into the buckle and tags Jock. Irish whip, and O’Neil gets caught with the Texas Twister’s RUNNING BUTT THUMP! COLE BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!! Jock covers, but he rolls off as Sampson DROPS THE ELBOW ON HIS PARTNER! “YEAH!” SAMPSON :o Baron decks Sampson with a right and the Gunslingers take care of him with a double big boot, or LOLLERSKATES! COACH Hey ref, there’s only supposed to be 2 guys in the ring at a time. We’ve got both Gunslingers in there. With Sampson out of the picture, the Gunslingers easily (LONE STAR) LASSO O’Neil for the… ONE.. TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the One & Only World tag team champions… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The celebration is short-lived as THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS strike. Logan Mann comes off the top with a DOUBLE KNEEDROP ONTO JOCK, while Synth WHACKS BARON WITH A BASEBALL BAT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE DAMN THEM! COACH The Heavenly Rockers delivering their own brand of justice here, Cole, beating the Gunslingers with the very bat they attacked them with last week. Logan shoves the referee out to the floor before spiking Jock head-first into the canvas with a PERCUSSION DDT! Baron receives a double dose as the Heavenly Rockers drop him on his skull. COLE Somebody needs to come out here and stop this. Where’s the help, damnit?! Synth pins Jock’s arm down with his foot as Logan winds up to bat… “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” …but they hightail it as the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS, the brothers of Melody Nerdly, hit the ring armed with STEEL CHAIRS. COLE Thank God for MARV and Mel. The Heavenly Rockers were going to break Jock’s arm and would’ve done so had it not been… COACH For those measly Nerdlys, the Christ Air Express. Shouldn’t they be worried about their Anderson Cup match later on? COLE What a chaotic scene we have out here. Fans, we’ll try to restore order after this brief timeout. Stay with us.

Anderson Cup, MWC Conference Finals Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright vs. the Sooner Bruisers The Lone Star Gunslingers will be in action as well, with comments from Melody Nerdly prior to the bout STIPULATION: Sadly, there are none. But the show's gonna be stacked with matches!

Sounds like a great idea. We're always looking for new ways to inhance the presentation of our shows.

[b][color="#FF8C00"]THIS PAST SUNDAY[/color] [color="#FF0000"]Anglepalooza Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment[/color][/b] [quote]Synth and Logan snatch hold of Baron and Jock by the head, Holly-Wood already cheering. Logan quickly spikes Baron down with the PERCUSSION DDT... but Synth wastes too much time and gets backdropped by Jock, ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" COACH AH! COLE And Synthamania will not run wild in the main-event of AngleMania! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SYNTH ESIZER ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 6th TIME IN RING: 11:33 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Logan Mann, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan pounces on Jock immediately, while Synth flies into a rage on the outside! Referees go scattering as Synth suddenly makes a dive to get back into the ring, managing to get a few shots to the kidneys on Jock as he's backed into the ropes by Logan, before the referees manage to pull him back. COACH Man, Synth has lost it! COLE It's fair to say he's got a pretty short fuse at the best of times. As Melody makes the point that Synth should take a walk, that gets Holly all riled up as well, causing the girls to go face to face! COACH See, this is why managers are supposed to be in the backsta... Suddenly, the still raging Synth spots Holly and Melody being held apart by the referee and runs over, GRABBING MELODY BY THE HAIR AND YELLING RIGHT INTO HER FACE!!!! COLE HEY! HEY, COME ON NOW! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" The referees try and pleads with Synth let Melody go, still holding him by the hair. Neither Jock or Baron are in any position to see what's going on or do anything about it... as Synth places her in a front facelock, threatening to DDT her on the floor! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Don't do this Synth, come on! "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Like The Angels" fires up and MARV of The Christ Air Express bursts through the curtain. Already getting a head of steam up on his way to the ring, MARV suddenly breaks into a full sprint as he sees his sister in danger, Synth backing up down the aisle towards the exposed concrete in the aisle... and THANKFULLY getting clattered to the ground by MARV before he can follow through with his threats! COLE Thank god for MARV! MARV goes crazy on Synth, clubbing away at him as things continue to spill out of control on the outside. Beaten against the guardrail, Synth reaches out and headbutts MARV in the gut to buy himself time to get away. MARV rushes right after him though, chasing The Synthmestier around the ring! COACH Leave him alone, he's not even in the match! COLE What!? With MARV still hot on his heels, Synth takes a detour and slides back into the ring. He immediately slides out the other side and back to the floor, while MARV scrambles to his feet... ...and gets backdropped out by Logan Mann!! COACH See! I told him he should have left Synth alone! COLE Agh! That stinks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARV ENTERED: 17th LEFT: 7th TIME 'IN RING': 0:19 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Logan Mann ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Logan gloats over the elimination of MARV however, The Lone Star Gunslingers link arms behind him and run into Logan from behind, a double clothesline sending him up, over and OUT!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now that's not fair! COLE That's karma! Logan got exactly what he deserved right there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOGAN MANN ENTERED: 14th LEFT: 8th TIME 'IN RING': 6:26 ELIMINATED: MARV ELIMINATED BY: Baron Windels, Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Extra officials have piled out from the back to keep The Heavenly Rockers apart from MARV and Melody, which is easier said than done. Logan is furious and The Gunslingers are distracted by the chaos on the floor, as both Logan and Synth are dragged away by the large number of official bodies.[/quote] We cut to special correspondent and OAOAST legend Tony Brannigan outside. TONY Tony Brannigan live outside Quicken Loans Arena awaiting the arrival of the Heavenly Rockers for a major announcement. I should point out Maggie Nerdly was originally scheduled to conduct this interview, but after the events that occurred Sunday night she didn’t think she could stomach to look at them. Quite frankly, I’m not too sure I can either. There’s pushing the envelop and then there’s crossing the line, and the Heavenly Rockers crossed the line big time at Anglepalooza. Okay, I’ve been told the Heavenly Rockers have pulled up in the parking lot and should be headed our way momentarily. Right on cue, the Heavenly Rockers drive in on their TOUR BUS appropriately named Saints & Sinners. The mechanical door opens and a jovial Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly exit. Also the bus driver but he’s not important. SYNTH Holy shit, it’s T-Bod! Man, Ah thought you was up wrestling in the big cloud in the sky. TONY Well I’m alive and well. But what’s not sitting well with a lot of people, myself included, is your behavior at Anglepalooza. Now I’ll be the first to admit I did a few questionable things back in the day, but attacking a poor defenseless young woman? That’s going a bit too far in my opinion. LOGAN Your opinion matters little and means nothing sayeth Logan Usher Mann! The Heavenly Rockers tried to go about business the right way. We petitioned the OAOAST for a rematch AND GOT DENIED 3 TIMES!!! Fine, that’s cool. We’ll just go to the champions instead…BUT THEY SAY NO TOO!! HOLLY And they’re supposed to be fighting champions? PUH-LEEZE! LOGAN Since the Lone Star Gunslingers wouldn’t give us a rematch, we had no choice but to bring the fight to them. TONY Before you acted out in such a violent matter, did you ever think maybe the reason you were denied a rematch was because you’re entered in the Anderson Cup? COLONEL ABDULLAH :huh: TONY Remember now, the loser of your match with the Gunslingers at the New Year’s Spectacular was to be granted a spot in the Cup. A stipulation widely reported you guys pushed for…you know, just in case. LOGAN I don’t like where this interview is going. MAN (off-camera) Then you sure as hell ain’t gonna like this, you sons of bitches! SYNTH :o That potty mouth belongs to BARON WINDELS, who sprints towards the bus along with JOCK MULLIGAN wielding BASEBALL BATS. LOGAN Everybody back in the bus. Pronto! Logan and company make it safe inside, but with the driver missing (guess he was important after all) they can‘t start the bus. COLE How appropriate is that? The Heavenly Rockers trapped like a bunch of rats. Unable to break in, the Gunslingers begin smashing the head/taillights! LOGAN :firedevil: In the background, we see the Colonel screaming at Synth. Thanks to Jock breaking one of the side windows we hear Abdullah instructing Synth to HOTWIRE the bus! COACH This is horrible. I can’t believe the Lone Star Gunslingers would stoop this low. COLE I’m sorry, but that’s a category the Heavenly Rockers have all to themselves. Synth gets the bus running and off the Heavenly Rockers go. As they speed away Baron uses his bat like a spear to hurl it into the back window! Still fuming with rage, the Gunslingers call Tony Brannigan over. BARON (pointing to the broken glass) You see this Synth and Logan? That’s what taking the fight to someone looks like. None of this hit and run crap you do. Like we said at Anglepalooza, you can mess with us and live to tell about it -- ask James Blonde and Faqu -- but mess with family and it’s a whole other story. We may not be related to Melody by blood, but we certainly think of her as so. Now that you got the law hunting you down I’m sure as hell hope you’ve given your soul to the Lord because your ass belongs to us! JOCK Heavenly Rockers, I know you got a mighty big Anderson Cup match next week against Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, but ask yourselves this: Will you ever make it there? Because whenever you go, whatever you do, we’re gonna be right there waiting for you just as we were tonight. Until we get you back in the ring we’re gonna keep chasing you down like the dogs you are. With that, we go…