Tony149

Kick-ass show this week. The 6-man tag was tremendous, with Moneymaker getting in some real zingers on commentary. Krista's segment was the most serious anybody's ever seen her. You saw a bit of the KID we all know and love, but the laughs were left to Alix. One thing I noticed during the Brock-Reject PYP match (which had a funny bit stemming from the "Cardinal mistake" comment and a hot finish) is how little we use ref bumps. Pretty cool IMO. The other PYP match, Alfdogg vs. Thunderkid, brought the goods as well. Match of the Night: Reject vs. Brock Ausstin (honorable mention to the 6-man tag) Line of the Night: "Don't just the book by it's cover gentlemen, these three challengers are truly hungry competitors." -- Theodore Moneymaker referring to Los Ninos Anorexico.

Sk8ter Boiz vs. Los Conquistadors (Gee, I wonder who'll win that one )

To go on sometime before the Diablos-Conquistadors match, please. Backstage, the Nerdly clan is all smiles as they gather around Gene at the interview location. OKERLUND August 9th, 2007 is shaping up to be one of the most eventful nights in OAOAST history. The big news of course, NEW 6-man tag team champions of the world, Leon Rodez and D*LUX, as the OAOVW trio Los Ninos Anorexic, downing the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA earlier in the program. Last week, however, the talk at water coolers across the country was about the return of my guests this evening, along with their sister Melody, former OAOAST tag team champions, The Marv and Hell Mel, the Sk8ter Boiz! OKERLUND There’s a sight for sore eyes, a smiling Melody Nerdly. Great to see that again. I know the past few months have been very difficult for you, but I get the feeling you and your brothers’ plan on changing that. MELODY You got it, dude! It’s time to turn the tables and make life difficult for other people, particularly the Heavenly Rockers. They got a taste of their own medicine last week and I bet it wasn’t so fun, was it Synth and Logan? Nuh-uh. MARV Gene, you been in the sport long enough to know how grueling it can be on a person both mentally and physically. There’s no off-season. If you find yourself on vacation it’s either because you’re injured or fired. Thankfully neither applied to us. Our star burned so bright and flamed out quickly; we just needed to get away from it all. So we’ve been out riding the waves and pursuing another passion of ours, skateboarding. But we couldn’t stay on the sidelines and watch the Heavenly Rockers bully our sister any longer. You wanna put your hands on a Nerdly, Heavenly Rockers, why don’t you try The Marv and Hell Mel? Give us a couple weeks to get in ring shape and we’ll gladly face you at AngleSlam. Whaddya say Heavenly Rockers? Both sides have frustrations to vent. Let’s blow off some steam together. OKERLUND My word! The Sk8ter Boiz vs. the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam?! MEL All the fun in the sun has recharged our batteries and we couldn’t think of a better time to come back than at the hottest event of the summer. Heavenly Rockers, brace yourselves. At AngleSlam we’re gonna RAWK~ your world! OKERLUND Sk8ter Boiz and Melody, thank you very much for your ti-- MELODY (slaps forehead) Silly me. I almost forgot about the surprise. OKERLUND Surprise? MELODY Mmm-hm. Should the Heavenly Rockers choose to accept our challenge for AngleSlam, in addition to me there will be somebody else in our corner Sunday night, August 26th. A person who understands how Synth and Logan operate. Now here’s the part where I pause for dramatic effect. OKERLUND The suspense is killing me. MELODY Well, this person is known affectionately as the “Angel of Death.” OKERLUND No way. MELODY Way! My BFF…HOLLY-WOOD!! OKERLUND :o Holly enters the picture and receives a big hug from Melody. Hoping for the same, it’s only a handshake for the Boiz. HOLLY Hiya, Logan. Miss me, sweetheart, or just my ass? Either way, you will get to see me again on the 26th of August at AngleSlam. Only I’ll be next to Melody in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz. Maybe following the match we can all go out for a bite to eat. No, wait, I’m sorry. You’ll only be able to eat out of a straw once The Marv and Hell Mel get done kicking their feet down your stinkin’ throats! MELODY :) Holly leaves with Melody and the Boiz. OKERLUND That’ll do it from here. But what a bombshell. Holly-Wood, the wife of Logan Usher Mann, has agreed to be in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz during their match against the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam. Now it’s up to Synth and Logan to accept the challenge. If history is any indication, then they will do just that. The night just keeps getting wilder by the minute!

BUFFER The following tag team attraction, one fall with a 10 time limit. First, already in the ring…from New Mexico, total combine weight 335 pounds, the meanest, baddest hombres in el mundo…LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Uno and Dos engage in disobedience by raising a gloved fist. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go [size="3"][color="#FF00FF"][b]It's raining men - Hallelujah[/b][/color][/size] BUFFER And their opponents, 350 pounds… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As gingerbread men supplied by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties descend from the ceiling, the flaming luchadors Moracca and Mariachi prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage bumping and grinding to the music. COLE Los Diablos de Fuego and Los Conquistadors set to renewal of one of the most brutal rivalries in OAOAST history that featured barb wire gloves and tiara‘s! It wasn’t that long ago both teams competed in a grueling Mexican Deathmatch, with Los Diablos coming out on top. You can bet Los Conquistadors haven’t forgotten about that. COACH There’s something to be said about Los Diablos “coming out on top,” but I’ll take the high road on that one. COLE I thank you for it. You know, I spoke to Los Diablos earlier in the day and I can’t tell you how excited they are to finally get back in the ring. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen them in action. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MORACCA :huh: MARIACHI :hm: Having learned to ignore the hate often directed as the result of their lifestyle, Los Diablos go on about their business, humping guardrails and searching for hunks to give their sombreros to. A policy they may wish to revise after they’re ambushed by… COLE :o …THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! COLE Synth and Logan assaulting Los Diablos de Fuego, but why? COACH To make a statement. [b][size=3][color="#FF0000"]"SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!"[/color][/size][/b] LOGAN :firedevil: His forehead bandaged, Logan smashes Moracca’s face into the guardrail, slicing open the flamboyant superstar. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Mann targets the cut, pounding his knuckles into the slit pink mask. Synth, meanwhile, snake eyes Mariachi on the steel steps, then whips him into the railing with such force it sends the luchador tumbling over into the crowd! * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * As the carnage ensues, Los Conquistadors quietly leave the area to avoid the Heavenly Rockers’ wrath, all while the bell continues to be sound. Soon OAOAST officials flood ringside in order to salvage what’s left of Los Diablos de Fuego. But not before the Heavenly Rockers DDT MORACCA ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! COLE Just as they did Baron Windels, breaking his nose in the process, the Heavenly Rockers double the percussion and DDT the flaming luchador on the exposed concrete. What the hell’s wrong with them?! COACH We’re going to find out apparently. Logan’s got a mic. LOGAN Sk8ter Boiz, playtime is over sayeth Logan Usher Mann! It seems as though you’ve grown a pair since the last time anyone’s seen you. You did a pretty good number on us last week. Such a good number we’ve almost forgot you cost us a chance to become the first ever One & Only World tag team champions. But it’s cool. Real STUPID, but cool. Stupid because now you’ve gotten on the Heavenly Rockers bad side, and as your sister can tell you, things get pretty crazy when we’re bad. Because we don’t just get bad, we get… SYNTH/LOGAN …b-b-b-bad to the bone! LOGAN We’re particularly quite fond of breaking them. The cool part is, now you get to work with the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. “YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” SYNTH Meaning the Synthmeister will play a drum solo on your heads! LOGAN We’ve fought the biggest and baddest the OAOAST has had to offer. You on the other hand have faced a bunch of pussies, not just in the one Nerdly family bathroom but in the ring as well. Some penciled 6-packs and my wife won’t be enough to get by us. The beating we laid on Los Diablos is tame compared to the one we’re gonna lay on you at AngleSlam. Staring menacingly in the camera, Logan drops the mic and leaves with Synth to a chorus of boos. COLE The hottest event of the summer just got even hotter. The Heavenly Rockers vs. Sk8ter Boiz at AngleSlam!

Sk8ter Boiz promo Los Conquistadors vs. Los Diablos de Fuego

PPV caliber show. I guess it’s what HD would be like if we didn’t plan stuff for Syndicated. All the matches delivered, with the Bra & Panties tag title match having to be the best thing Patty’s ever written. As great as the visual images were, the hamster had me rolling on the floor, figuratively speaking of course. Nathaniel Black also had a pretty good night with a strong promo and then a beat down on Jamie O’Hara. The ME was damn good as well. Cortez as Zack’s partner was pretty cool.

The camera SWOOPS~ down to Jesse “The Body” Ventura located atop the world famous INTERVIEW STAGE. VENTURA Coming up Thursday night live on TSM, a scramble cage match will take place to unify the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW tag titles, with the winners recognized as the first ever One & Only World tag team champions. The participants include the 3 reigning champions -- Chicks Over Dicks, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and Team Heyross -- D*LUX, the South Central Militia and my guests, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of ALL-time…THE HEAVENLY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” It’s anything but jolly in ‘ol England as the Heavenly Rockers appear in front of the live crowd. Escorted by arena security, insults and plastic bottles are hurled at Synth and Logan, who does little to shield his wife from the debris, on their way to the stage. VENTURA Guys, I know you wanna talk about the big tag unification bout on HeldDOWN~!, but seeing as how this is your first public interview since the “Louisiana Beatdown”, I first want to get your comments on that. In all my years in wrestling, never have I seen a more brutal message sent than the one you delivered to the Lone Star Gunslingers. LOGAN Keep flirtin’ with disaster and tragedy will strike! And it struck in a big way. Louisiana Beatdown, hmm? I can get used to that. It has a heavenly ring to it. What say you Synth? SYNTH It’s…heh heh heh…music to my ears. Heh heh heh. LOGAN Bodies left lying, blood splattered on the floor, just as we said it would, and the Lone Star Gunslingers with injuries that’ll leave them on the shelf for months. Now, onto a much more important matter, the tag title unification match. 6 of the best tag teams the OAOAST has to offer all inside a 15 foot high steel cage. As hellacious as cage matches are, the Heavenly Rockers see the light at the end of the tunnel, Jesse Ventura. A bright light that shines down on us from the heavens. In our possession, the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW tag team titles. Come Thursday night history will forever link the Heavenly Rockers with the creation of the One & Only tag team championship sayeth Logan Usher Mann! SYNTH :headbang: VENTURA Before I let you go, Logan, I wanna ask you about comments your wife Holly made on HeldDOWN~! The last time I checked, when two people got married they vowed to love and support each other no matter what. Needless to say, she didn’t support-- HOLLY (defiantly) You don’t know me, and you damn sure as hell don’t know the thoughts running through my mind. So I don’t appreciate you trying to put words in my mouth. SYNTH The man’s got a point. Contrary to popular belief, the Synthmeister can read. My hearing is even better. You basically said we deserve every bad thing that comes our way. Ain’t that right? HOLLY :stupid: “YYEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” LOGAN Who are you to talk to him like that?! Synth holds his weight in the group. What have you done for us lately, huh? I’ve told you time and time again to count your blessings because we‘re the best thing to ever happen to you, particularly ME. Without us you’re either still a second-rate publicist or putting to use the only skill you have on the streets. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” HOLLY HOLLY In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve been down this path before, and the results were disastrous. It nearly broke us up for good. Jesus may have died for our sins, as did Kurt Cobain, but I REFUSE to die for YOUR sins! LOGAN Well, I guess if you aren’t with us...you’re against us. The crowd is horrified when Logan yanks Holly by the hair and positions her for a DDT. SCHIAVONE Oh, my goodness! Logan’s going to DDT his own wife! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” MELODY NERDLY to the rescue. STEEL CHAIR in hand, Melody jabs Synth in the gut and wallops him across the back, but it’s a whole other story with Logan Mann. After tossing Holly aside Mann blocks Melody’s chairs hot and SLAPS her! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Crying her pretty eyes out as she clutches her cheek, Melody is front face locked. As Jesse Ventura pleads with Mann not to go through with it, Holly crawls up and… LOGAN :o …delivers a LOW BLOW to her husband! “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Logan falls off the stage in pain, blues and agony. His nads in a world of hurt. Holly, meanwhile, helps Melody to her feet. Once she regains her senses Melody gives Holly a big ‘ol hug, much to the embarrassment of the Angel of Death, but it‘s all good. COLE After what we’ve seen, Holly-Wood is apparently no longer a member of the Heavenly Rockers and now estranged from her husband Logan. What a show this has been, and we still have more to come!

Interview w/Heavenly Rockers

COLE Shifting gears now, ladies and gentlemen. Last week on the program… COACH Ahem. Allow me. Last week on the program, the Heavenly Rockers laid a massive beat down on them Texas punks, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels. You see, a little challenge was issued the previous week. Still fuming over what happened at the Great Angle Bash, the Lone Star Gunslingers wanted a piece of the Heavenly Rockers. But your traditional wrestling match wasn’t good enough for them, they asked for it to be Last Man Standing. To quote an old family proverb, “Ask and you shall receive…but be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” COLE With more on that, here’s Maggie Nerdly in… [b]! [color="#FF0000"]THE ActionZONE[/color] ![/b] Behind the anchor desk is America’s most trusted female journalist, the pride of Papa Nerdly’s semen, Maggie. MAGGIE First of all, a big WHAT’S UP to all the cool cats in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Remember guys and dolls, Thursday night’s most popular television series will broadcast live from the Twin Cities next week. Join us as history is made, as the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW tag titles are unified in a scramble steel cage match. It’s gonna be… HOLLY-WOOD?! The wife of Logan Mann, hands placed inside the pockets of her leather jacket, walks onto the set to a mixed reaction from the live crowd. MAGGIE :rolleyes: What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating with the rest of the band? HOLLY I understand where you’re coming from Mags. Melody isn’t just your big sister, she’s your idol, and, more importantly…family. Her pain is your pain. And the pain she’s feeling right now was inflicted upon her by my family, Synth and Logan. Because of them Jock suffered a minor concussion and Baron a broken nose. I know Melody’s watching at home and I want to tell her and a worldwide television audience this: I don’t condone the actions of my husband and his sidekick. So I want to publicly apologize to you and the Gunslingers. What they did was totally over the line. It went above and beyond what this business is about. They raised the stakes and I fear both teams will only keep raising them until one is no longer physically capable of performing in the ring. If that team winds up being the Heavenly Rockers, all I can say is, they made their beds. MAGGIE (gasps) Holly, correct me if I’m wrong, but are you saying if Synth or Logan got seriously injured they deserved it? HOLLY Like I said, they made their beds, and they’ll have to lie on them…[I]sayeth Holly-Wood[/I]. MAGGIE :o COACH Who does that broad think she is, taking a shot at her husband like that? At least Heather had a baby to hold Paul by the balls; Holly’s got nothing. COLE Luckily for us, we still a whole lot more to come!

What Patty said (Hey, I'm lazy). The highlight for me was the opening Battlebowl match. How can you not love anything Mister Warrior does? And Patty did an awesome job hyping the upcoming tag title unification match. I'd also like to give some love to last week's show. Sticking Zack in the ME makes the World title match harder to predict.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, to a finish…LAST MAN STANDING! To achieve victory you must incapacitate your opponents for a count of 10. “Heart-Shaped Box” hits, the automatic pop it once received gone, replaced by a loud chorus of boos. BUFFER Introducing first, led to the ring by HOLLY-WOOD…from Sin City, total combine weight 432 pounds, the former OAOAST tag team champions of the world and self-proclaimed “greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time“...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE If you‘re just tuning in, don’t adjust your television sets. Your hearing is perfectly fine. As unimaginable as it seemed 3 months ago, the Heavenly Rockers have gone from being the most popular tag team in our sport to one of the most despised thanks to their actions at the 6th annual Great Angle Bash. COACH Things change, people change. As evident by this reception. And why? Why are the fans so mad at the Heavenly Rockers? Because they refused to be raped by a couple of young hot shots who tried to take advantage of their generosity? COLE You’re as delusional as the Heavenly Rockers. It’s obvious to me they became jealous of the Lone Star Gunslingers. Synth and Logan were the most popular tag team for such a long time they couldn’t handle it when another team began to cut into their popularity and snapped. COACH Then instead of damning the Heavenly Rockers to hell, blame the fans. They stirred the pot for their own amusement and got burned. After several minutes and no Heavenly Rockers, the music dies, leaving everyone puzzled. Then it’s off backstage to an ongoing shouting match between the Heavenly Rockers and OAOAST agent Terry Taylor. Also present is Logan’s wife Holly, a woman so disinterested in the events transpiring in front of her she kills time reading the July edition of OAOAST Magazine. TAYLOR Enough of the stalling, fellas. Move it. You’re on. LOGAN Nobody’s going to force us to do a damn thing, especially not you, you walking piece of Wrestlecrap. Like I’ve said, if you want the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all time to perform live, you gotta meet our demands. It‘s written in our contract. But if the OAOAST is going to try and play us like that, get in touch with our lawyers and will gladly see you in court. SYNTH What he said. BARON (Off-Screen) Hey jackasses! Officials swarm the area as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS attempt to start our regularly scheduled contest backstage. LOGAN You don’t want none of us. Step over here and we’ll stain the floor with your blood! SYNTH See, Rooster, dat’s why all the fuss. Them fools can‘t be trusted. You saw it. They just tried to jump us. TAYLOR Then take it to the ring. You accepted the challenge. It’s time to see if you can walk the walk. (to the officials) Gentlemen, escort Mr. Mulligan and Windels to the Gorilla position. (to Synth and Logan) You guys stay right here until they‘re out of sight. LOGAN (shouting) Hey Melody, pray your boys get injured walking to the ring, because it won’t hurt nearly as bad as what we’re gonna do to them! MELODY :p It doesn’t take long for the Gunslingers to appear onstage. With Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” booming over the loud speakers, the most improved tag team come dressed to fight, both wearing jeans and t-shirts, fists taped. Melody on the other hand, she’s like a cartoon character, rocking the same Daisy Duke look as always (and nobody‘s complaining because she‘s hot). BUFFER Wrestling fans, the Heavenly Rockers opponents in this Last Man Standing match hail from San Antonio, Texas, and are accompanied by their manager MELODY NERDLY…JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody and the guys return the love from the fans, high-fiving a lucky few on their way to the ring. COLE Here they come, arguably the most popular tag team… COACH Thanks to Melody spamming every MySpace page in existence. COLE …in the sport today, the Lone Star Gunslingers. Tonight they look to extract a measure of revenge against the men who have denied them championship hardware on 3 separate occasions, the Heavenly Rockers. Speak of the devil…! * BOOM * Jock goes down in a heap following a CHAIRSHOT from Synth, who then whips the Gunslinger into the STEEL STEPS before him and Logan gang up on Baron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE It was a damn set-up! COACH And the Gunslingers fell for it hook, line and sinker. Melody tends to Jock as the Heavenly Rockers pummel Baron to the ground. Overwhelmed by the onslaught the proud Texan continues to try and fight out of the predicament, wildly swinging from his knees… “YYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!” …but Logan rakes the eyes and tosses Windels inside. As Synth climbs onto the apron Logan spots Melody reaching for the steel chair and steps on it, shaking his head as the Gunslingers gal pal slowly gazes up at the “Macho MACHO” Mann. But Logan refuses to let that be the end of it, threatening to strike Melody with the chair! COLE Oh, no. He wouldn’t dare. Suddenly, Logan is spun around and floored by a Jock Mulligan discus punch. The gentlemen that he is, Jock asks Melody if she’s okay before going to aid Baron, cleaning house on Synth. Irish whip, and both men head off into the ropes, with Jock connecting on a flying lariat. Melody slides a chair inside, the very one that got her up close and personal with Logan Mann, and Jock… * BOOM * …cracks it across the back of the Synthmeister, sending him through the ropes to the floor. COLE A receipt from earlier, no question. Having shaken off the cobwebs, Baron wows the audience with a PLANCHA onto Logan! COACH Even I have to admit that was impressive. You don’t see many 6’7 men diving over the top rope with such ease. Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air with the excitement of a 5-year-old. Meanwhile, Jock pulls Synth out from underneath the ring. Yes, out from under. But Synth proves he’s more than just a pretty face, or a cowardly lion…THROWING A HANDFUL OF POWDER INTO JOCK’S EYES! COLE Powder in the eyes! My god, somebody please help him! He can’t see! He can’t see, damn it! As Jock stumbles around, desperately wiping his eyes with the ring skirt, Synth regains possession of the steel chair and damn near bashes Jock’s skull in! Not one to play favorites, Synth sprints to the other side of the ring and cold-cocks Baron as well! “HOLLY!” “HOLLY!” “HOLLY!” COLE You hear the chants of “Holly” in the background, the fans want her to come out here and end this. Whether or not she has the power to do so I don’t know. Synth and Logan have gone off the deep end. The Heavenly Rockers prepare to do real damage now that their foes have been neutralized. Logan twirls the FINGER OF DEATH~! as Synth removes the protective pad ringside. COLE Oh, my. I don’t like the looks of this at all. I pray it’s not what I think it is. Melody can’t bear to watch, fleeing backstage. Logan hooks Baron’s head… “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” …PERCUSSION DDT ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! COLE :o COACH Your prayers went unanswered, Cole. Not that you should be surprised. I mean, I don’t think the good Lord would appreciate the lifestyle you live. As if that wasn’t enough, Logan adds insult to injury, GRINDING BARON’S FACE INTO THE CONCRETE! COLE Come on, that’s enough! COACH Have you forgotten? Last Man Standing. We still have a match on our hands. And Logan has Baron’s [b][color="#FF0000"]BLOOD[/color][/b] on his, as does the concrete. Synth brings Jock over along with another steel chair. The guys place the chairs on the ground and deliver a DOUBLE DDT! COACH Double the Percussion. COLE And there’s going to be major repercussions stemming from this. LOGAN (to referee) Count ‘em! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... “YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody returns with HOLLY-WOOD by her side. They rush to the ring, where Melody smartly remains at a safe distance as Holly tries to talk some sense into the Heavenly Rockers, but Logan isn’t having any of it, ignoring what his wife is saying to cuss Melody out. COLE Somebody place security on standby, it’s getting intense ringside. 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your last men standing…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan spits on the bodies of Jock and Baron, then grabs Holly by the arm and roughly whisks her backstage as OAOAST officials and EMTs arrive on the scene. COLE Let’s go to break. There’s nothing left to say or see here. We’ll be back.

It's been awhile since we've done one of these. July 11, 2007 Albany, Georgia Gray Civic Center A sold out crowd was on hand as the Great Angle Bash tour made a stop in Albany. Before the event began, ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta (Buffer work house shows? Yeah, right.) announced due to injuries sustained a couple of weeks ago Zack Malibu would not be able to participate in tonight’s War Games main event. Naturally fans were disappointed, but they got right back into it the second new OAOAST Champion Landon Maddix came out with Megan Skye and cut a promo on Malibu and his opponent at Angleslam, Tha Puerto Rican. “Neither guy had the guts to show up,” he said, “but never fear, your World Heavyweight Champion is here and will compete later on tonight…in a non-title match of course.” The GPX defeated Los Diablos de Fuego and Los Conquistadors (16:17) in a hot and fast-paced opener. WDW Champion Alfdogg made an appearance to run down Atlanta’s sports history and quarterback Michael Vick. Business picked up when Thunderkid came to the ring and challenged Alf to put his title on the line. Alf declined and pretended to leave the ring only to Pearl Harbor TK. He then called for a referee and dominated the impromptu match, but the reigning Heartland champion fought back and nearly pulled off the upset, losing only because of outside interference from Rick Heyross (10:48). The Lone Star Gunslingers beat The Heavenly Rockers (13:30) in a physically intense match; the Gunslingers got beat down afterwards. Up next was a match pitting two OAOVW regulars, Blake "Star Spangled" Bannar and the snobbish Swiss aristocrat "Double H" Hjalmar Hofstetter. Both guys deserve a ton of credit for getting the crowd involved despite most never having heard of them. Double H got things going by cutting a pre-match promo entirely in German, his only highlight of the night as Bannar, a bizarre mix of Balls Mahoney and Jim Duggan, downed him in 7:45 following a snap powerslam. The People’s Chump pinned Landon Maddox (8:56) in a non-title match. Prior to the bout, Maddix again went on the mic, burying Tha Puerto Rican and his people. To better prepare himself for his match at Angleslam, Landon personally flew in an actual Puerto Rican wrestler, an overweight masked man in full body suit called the People’s Chump. But the chump wrestled more like the champ…a Corporate Champ who stunned Landon out of nowhere with the Corporate Nightmare for the 1-2-3! PC unmasked to reveal THA PUERTO RICAN. In case you’re wondering how he got so fat, he stuffed a pillow under his body suit. Smart guy. Chicks Over Dicks wrestled the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to a double count out (11:11) War Games: Leon Rodez, D*LUX & Mr. Warrior d. Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & the Beverly Hills Blonds in 26:30 after Simon Singleton submitted to the Kelly Clarkson Clutch. Good thing Jade Rodez wasn’t at ringside to witness this. It was everything you expect War Games to be: bloody and violent. Ned’s hair had turned completely red by the time it was all said and done. The Enterprise had everything seemingly under control when the music hit and Mr. Warrior stormed the ring, clotheslining CPA outside before entering the two ring steel cage. It had to be one of the loudest pops I’ve ever heard. Seriously, we're talking about a Hulk Hogan/Steve Austin at their peak kind of pop. From top to bottom, just an excellent show. One of the best house shows I’ve ever attended. Biggest Pop: 1) Mr. Warrior 2) Leon Rodez 3) Chicks Over Dicks 4) Tha Puerto Rican (I shit you not) 5) Thunderkid Most Heat: 1) Landon Maddix 2) Alfdogg 3) Theodore Moneymaker 4) Beverly Hills Blonds 5) Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew

COLE At this time let’s go to “Mean” Gene Okerlund with a very special interview. Gene? We cut to Gene in the locker room area, alongside him MELODY NERDLY and the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS in their civilian gear. But the Gunslingers are clearly gearing up for war, taping their fists as they stare menacingly into the camera. OKERLUND Thank you very much, Michael. It was at the Great Angle Bash that my guests were the victims in an incident that stunned the wrestling world; speaking of the Percussion DDT Logan Mann delivered on Baron Windels to cost them championship gold yet again and the opportunity to unify the OAOAST and HI-YAH tag titles, a distinction that will go to either COD or the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. BARON And that just makes me sick to my stomach, knowing it should be us in the match. There’s no doubt in any one of our minds we’d unify the titles and forever cement our place in history. But we’re not here to discuss the upcoming unification match. Let’s talk about the Heavenly Rockers. I’m reminded of what Logan did every time I feel the bump on the top of my head, a memento his DDT left behind. As any good cowboy understands, when you fall off the saddle you get right back up and dust yourself off. Then you seek the SON OF A BITCH who did you wrong and DESTROY HIM! And you best believe Jock and I are going to correct that wrong. Because right now, in front of the good Lord and a worldwide television audience, we’re issuing a warrant for the Heavenly Rockers. You boys got until next week to turn yourselves in meet us one on one. “YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” OKERLUND :o You gotta be kidding me! Next week? JOCK We’re gonna settle this the way real men do, Gene. LAST MAN STANDING! Fight until you can fight no more. But we aren’t just doing this for ourselves; it’s also for the fans. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine the Heavenly Rockers would turn their backs on the millions of fans who supported them through thick and thin. The other day I read a quote from them calling the fans who didn’t agree with their actions at the Bash “bandwagoners”. BARON Obviously a quote from that jackass Synth. JOCK Well, let me tell you bandwagoners something, you can hitch a ride on our wagon anytime because you are the lifeblood of professional wrestling. When things aren’t looking good for us we feed off your energy. You’re our fuel and oxygen combined. The Heavenly Rockers didn’t just slap us in the face, Gene, they slapped the fans in the face as well, and I promise each and every one of you watching the Lone Star Gunslingers won’t let that stand. MELODY Another thing we won’t let stand is the horrid treatment of my friend Holly. How could Logan just verbally abuse her like that given all she’s done for him and Synth? And for what, just because she spoke her mind? Logan's turned into a big ol' meanie. Gosh! To think I owned all of their records. Sure I illegally downloaded them online, but still. Now I have to erase them from my files like WWE is erasing… :huh: OKERLUND That is all the time we have. Melody, Jock and Baron, I thank you for your time. We’ll just have to wait and see if the Heavenly Rockers accept the Lone Star Gunslingers challenge for a Last Man Standing match next week? Hopefully we’ll have an answer by show’s end. If not, log onto OAOAST.com immediately after the program for possible breaking news. Let’s go back to Sofa Central.

LSGS promo

Very enjoyable show this week, despite only two matches (24/7 had yet to be edited at time of feedback). But it's not often you get to see a Conquistador in such a high profile match. The match of the night, however, has to go to James Blonde/Faqu-Los Diablos de Fuego. I've always preferred Blonde & Faqu together even though Zack did a fine job building Faqu into a singles star, if you will, in a limited number of appearances. Los Diablos are just good, clean fun. Kinda like COD in that you can do anything with them and it'll likely turn out good. The ME of AS is intriguing. My memory isn't the greatest when it comes to past OAOAST angles, but I think we've only done a heel vs. heel match once or two. Looks like PR will finally get his long awaited run with the title sooner rather than later. The ME promo was better than I expected (those, as in real life, can turn into disasters), although I'd like to see a little less of The Rock-isms, especially if PR gets the belt. Less Rock and more PR.

After what seems like forever, I finally had the chance to read the 3 shows that followed Triumph. Well, I had already read the June 4th edition but I didn't have much to say because it was mostly squash matches. Things picked up on the June 11th edition, though. Right off the bat I learned a bit about Little Rock's history in reference to the first Skippy plant being located in the area. In fact, I marked over the entire opening segment. Apparently I more of a Food Network fan than I realized. But the star of the show was Vinny Valentine, IMO. Great promo. June 18th: Some of the stuff that happened (TK/Deuce & Jumbo) went over my head because I have yet to read that week's edition of HD -- or the GAB for that matter. That said, hot way to close the show with TK going nuts. I know I'm not leaving the greatest feedback in the world, but I thought I'd let you guys writing the shows know your work is being read.

See, Patty, I told you not to be surprised if I got this done. I already how to explain this segment in the event we go ahead with what we talked about via PM, and we probably will, so it's all good. COLE Right now, ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to turn our attention to the tag team title situation. As announced at the Great Angle Bash, the OAOAST purchased HI-YAH promotions and has scheduled a tag title unification bout sometime in the near future between the reigning champions Chicks Over Dicks and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Well, this past weekend on OAOAST Pro Wresting our broadcast colleague Jesse “The Body” Ventura was conducting an interview with the HI-YAH tag team champions when Theodore Moneymaker stopped by. Here is what he had to say. * SWOOSH * [b][color="#FF8C00"]Courtesy[/color]: [color="#800080"]OAOAST Syndicated[/color][/b] Moneymaker and Mackie are booed as they step onto the world famous INTERVIEW STAGE. Initially shocked by their appearance, Jesse welcomes the “Billion Dollar Heir” and his stunning Chief Financial Officer, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew a bit more reserved. During the course of the segment cameras cut away to various signs in the crowd, including such gems as “MACKENZIE DECENZO: LESBIAN AT HEART” and “BILLION DOLLAR A$$HOLE”. MONEYMAKER Pardon the interruption, but I think everyone in this arena and those watching at home will find what I have to say [I]very[/I] fascinating, particularly the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. As you very well know, Jesse, the Enterprise has been bogged in a costly venture with COD. For months I have done everything in my power to end the title reign of those morally bankrupt chicks. Never in my life have one of my investments failed to turn a profit. Unlike all you nickel-and-dimers, I pride myself on taking calculated risks. That’s what separates the rich from the poor -- the ability to go all in without fear of losing. It’s everything or nothing, baby! Calculated risks are what made me the man, the rich man that I am today. This brings me to you, Rico de Janeiro and Lucius Soul. Today is your lucky day, because I’m about to offer you the deal of a lifetime. I am willing to offer you a substantial CASH reward -- no checks, just cold hard cash, baby -- for unifying the World tag team championships. I guess you can say it’s as easy as 1...2...3. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! RICO Moneybags, chico, the King of the Mardi Gras, he don’t forgot the past, mang. My first match in the OAOAST, it was against you. Other than looking up at the lights when it was all said and done, the one thing I remember was being offered a “deal of a lifetime.” It kinda gets hazy after that. You wouldn’t happen to know why, do ya? MONEYMAKER (nervously) Rico, that was another lifetime ago. You’ve proven to be a man of high character. If I knew then what I know now you better believe I’d handle that whole situation differently. LUCIUS Brothas, brothas, brothas, brothas! They call “the past” the past for a reason. Now, when I wasn’t lookin’ at the foxy lady next to Theodore… MACKENZIE :wub: LUCIUS …I vividly remember hearing something about the all mighty dollar. Am I right, my brotha? Substantial cash at that, yes? Like, 6 figure range? Teddy simply nods. LUCIUS Well, brotha, then it would be an honor to fulfill your prophecy. MONEYMAKER So we have a deal? RICO Mang, consider it done. MONEYMAKER :lol: SCHIAVONE Theodore Moneymaker has just paid off the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to defeat COD and unify the World tag team titles. Incredible! * SWOOSH * Back at Sofa Central with Cole and The Coach. COLE How about that, Coach? COACH The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, they’re everything COD isn’t -- young and hungry. Add to that the opportunity to go down as the first ever One & Only World tag team champions. It’s the best decision Teddy has ever made. I’m proud to be an Enterprise stockholder. COLE Will see if that rings true in a few weeks. Coming up next…

[b]And now, the [color="#FF8C00"]OAO[/color]AST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK![/b] [b]Courtesy: [color="#FF0000"]The Great[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Angle Bash[/color][/b] [quote]Lucius scoops Synth up for a suplex, but the Synthmeister floats over and delivers a wild DDT! “YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Percussion! He got it out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… * JUDO CHOP * Baron’s strike to the back of the neck leaves Synth in a world of hurt. He tosses him outside and seats Lucius on the top rope for a superplex. But Logan Mann wants a word with the Gunslinger first, yanking him off the second turnbuckle after whipping Rico into the guardrail. LOGAN :firedevil: BARON :rolleyes: COLE I don’t think Logan appreciated the matter in which Baron disposed of Synth. It was the first real physical contact either team has had with each other all night. You had a couple of minor situations earlier in the night but that’s it. Logan and Baron have a heated but rather calm argument until Logan wags his finger in Baron’s face. Windels swats it away and bumps his chest into Mann’s. Logan throws his hands in the air to signal he’s had enough of this conversation, only to turn right around and... * GASP * …KICK, WHAM, DDT! COLE What the hell?! No, damnit! Melody begins to sob like Paris Hilton in a police cruiser, shaking uncontrollably as Logan SPITS on Baron. Like the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home, Holly too is left shaking her head. She’s grabbed by the wrist and whisked backstage by Logan, a groggy Synth tailing behind. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH I can’t believe what I’m hearing. The fans are actually booing the Heavenly Rockers. COLE And I don’t blame them one bit. Logan’s behavior here tonight was deplorable. Rico de Janeiro slides in and positions Baron for a piledriver, but not just any piledriver…a SPIKE PILEDRIVER as Lucius completes the deed from the top! COLE Now [i]that’ll[/i] do it. ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING *[/quote] The HD logo flashes across the screen and leads us inside the private RECORDING STUDIO of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly stands between Synth and Logan, both of whom are seated comfortably on leather recliners. LOGAN First and foremost, Tampa, sorry we couldn’t be there live and in living color, but as the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time there are certain obligations that need to be met in order for us to grace you with our heavenly presence. Now that we’ve cleared the air on that subject, let’s talk about the Bash. It seems like that’s all people have on their minds. They wanna know why we did what we did; elements in society hoping and praying we plead temporarily insanity. SYNTH Out of our minds and outta this world! LOGAN Well, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, you don’t need to be no rocket scientist to figure it out. It’s just like the Heavenly Rockers said months ago, don’t mess with our money and fame. To sample our boy P. Diddy’s campaign in ‘04, “do it and die!” SYNTH Insensitive to the highest degree. :headbang: Rock ‘n’ roll, mutha[bleep]! LOGAN You see, when the house was a-rockin’ we didn’t come a-knockin’, we banged the damn door down! All we tried to do is pass along our knowledge of the dog-eat-dog world that is professional wrestling to the Lone Star Gunslingers, but they could only think about the moment in time in which they’d stab us in the back. Do unto others before they do unto you sayeth Logan Usher Mann! HOLLY-WOOD :rolleyes: SYNTH :huh: LOGAN Holly, problem?! HOLLY :hm: LOGAN You got a problem with what your man, the “Macho MACHO” Mann that satisfies your every need, is sayin’? HOLLY Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. I think this whole “feud” is childish. Melody assured me the Lone Star Gunslingers were no threat to us. All they wanted was the HI-YAH tag team championship. SYNTH At our expense. And whatcha doin’ still yammering with dat Melody? HOLLY Yammering? What did you do, Synth, finally put the bong down and picked up a thesaurus? SYNTH Hey, ah got feelings, you know. HOLLY Look, what I’m trying to say is, they wanted the belts and we wanted the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. We had this worked out going into the Great Angle Bash, but it obviously didn’t stop you guys from getting involved in a pissing contest. LOGAN Didn’t your mother ever teach you to never -- and I mean, never-never-never -- bite the hand that feeds you, girl?! If not for the Heavenly Rockers you’d still be some lonely publicist at Arista. Don’t you forget THAT and the one thing you’re only good at…head banging below the waist! HOLLY :o SYNTH :lol: Holly appears to wipe a tear as she storms out of the studio, lip quivering. LOGAN Ah, shit. Holly! Realizing what he’s done Logan chases after his wife. Left alone in the studio Synth wanders around before staring into the camera… SYNTH Who be bad now?! Who be bad now?! Who be bad now?! We be bad now! We be bad now! We be bad now! ...and then relives Ashley Simpson’s infamous blunder on SNL, dancing like a fool as the video ends.

I'll go next! I apologize for not contributing anything, I had no interest in writing given the events that occurred last week. But you guys still put together one helluva show. Obviously the big story is Landon Maddix defeating Zack for the World title after cashing in his MITB contract. I thought that segment was going to lead to the beginning of a feud between Zack and PR, but it turned into so much more. The stuff with Cortez and PR is interesting. Like I told KC (who was on fire this week with his Enterprise promo and Biff match/promo), the SCM have been really good in their new role. Krista and Maya meeting D*LUX was pretty damn funny, and I'll never tire of Abdullah Nerdly's promos even if I don't understand what's being said. Overall, one of our better post-PPV HDs. Thumbs up!

The show is posted in Home Entertainment. I left spots for the remaining matches, so just edit them in when finished.

A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY Alfdogg Zack Malibu King Cucaracha Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Patty O'Green GRAPHICS Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Tony149 CWM Anglesault © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved.

TV-14 L,V * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! TONIGHT... IF WE CAN'T GET ALONG, WE'LL GET IT ON HI-YAH Tag Team Title The Heavenly Rockers vs. Lone Star Gunslingers vs. Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew © LET'S PLAY THE FEUD! Leon Rodez & Alix Spezia vs. Theodore Moneymaker & Jade Rodez LAST CALL? Heartland Title Thunderkid vs. "After Hours" Felix Strutter © BEST OF THE REST Krista Isadora Duncan & D*LUX vs. Christian Wright, Simon Singleton & CPA Vitamin X vs. Jacob Cross TURN UP THE HEAT~! 24/7 Title Colombian Heat vs. Cuban Wall © CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS World Heavyweight Title 3-time SWF Champion Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs. 3-time OAOAST Champion Zack Malibu © And now, OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT proudly presents... THE 6TH ANNUAL "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOOM!* *BOOOM!* *BOOOOM!* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* LIVE! Washington, D.C. SCHIAVONE They are hanging from the rafters... VENTURA SCHIAVONE ...here tonight in our nation's capital for the event that has been sold out since January, the 6th annual Great Angle Bash! Hi again, everyone. Great to be with you once again. I gotta be honest, Jess, I was a bit worried when Maggie and Josh handled the hosting duties at School's Out. It was like somebody was trying to send us a message. VENTURA To you maybe. I got a no-cut guaranteed contract. They can't touch me. SCHIAVONE Thanks for sticking up for me, partner. Anyway, fans, what a card we have in store for you this evening. But before we head to the ring for our first match, I understand Anglesault has a major announcement to deliver. Let's go to him right now. The view is switched to Anglesault sitting behind his desk in his make shift office in the locker room. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, first and foremost let me thank you for joining us for The Great Angle Bash. We understand that your time and your dollar is very important to you, and we appreciate you spending both of them on us. Also, allow me to thank all of you for making 2007 such a wonderful year. We've seen fantastic matches from veterans and rookies alike, we've sold out the Skydome, we've returned prestige to our world title and I know that the year is only going to get better. Now, I don't want to waste any more of your time with my rambling, I want to get back to all our great action just as quickly as you do. So I'll try to make my announcement as quick and concise as possible. For many years the OAOAST has maintained a working relationship with the Japanese promotion HI-YAH. You've seen HI-YAH titles defended on OAOAST television and on OAOAST pay views for quite some time. You've watched HI-YAH superstars wow you with their feats of amazing strength. During our adolescence this was an advantageous relationship. But as we've ascended into adulthood, and our goals have expanded into solidifying our position as the dominant international brand in professional wrestling, it's become readily apparent that such an arrangement is determent to our health. Thus it is with great sorrow that I announce that we are terminating our relationship with HI-YAH. But it is with great joy that I announce that the OAOAST has purchased the HI-YAH promotion. With this acquisition, there is no question in anybody's mind that the OAOAST is the premier body in professional wrestling. Anglesault smiles. ANGLESAULT I won't bore you with the business details, or the bragging over global expansion, I'll leave that to the press releases. What you all want to know is how is this going to affect OAOAST in ring action. While there are still details to be worked out on several levels, I can promise you this, that within the next month you will witness an earthshaking event in the tag division. The HI-YAH tag team champions will battle the OAOAST Tag Champions, and only one team will emerge with championship gold. That newly merged belt will be named the One and Only World Tag Team Title. The OAOAST has long prided itself on it's strong tag division, and with this title merger the division will only get stronger and more prestigious. Once again thank you for joining us this evening, enjoy the rest of the show. We cut back to Tony and Jesse on the interview stage. SCHIAVONE VENTURA Well that lived up to the hype. The OAOAST has purchase HI-YAH promotions and there will be a tag title unification soon. Wow. And look at you Schiavone, you're speechless. I guess that leaves me with only one thing to do and that's toss it over to ring announcer Michael Buffer.

COLE And it is main-event time, here in our nation's capital! For the first time one on one, Zack Malibu to take on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, with the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship of the World on the line, a momentuous match for this celebratory show to end on. COACH First time one on one but there is a ton of history between these two. I mean, technically, this is just under a year in the making. COLE Landon Maddix formerly associated with The Wildcards, indeed. You can go back to War Games, where Zack drew the submission from Landon and also, the final two men in this year's Lethal Rumble, Zack Malibu again able to overcome Landon. But tonight, the stakes are at their highest yet. World Title, on the line! COLE This is Landon's first OAOAST match since AngleMania VI, which isn't neccessarily the makings of a number one contender. But of course, that match was the Money In The Bank win. And Landon has been busy in the past few months as the SWF's World Heavyweight Champion. Up until a couple of weeks ago that is, when Landon lost the title, which in no small coincidence co-incided with him stepping up his pursuit of Zack and the OAOAST Title. COACH Yeah, let's make it real clear for the people. Landon Maddix is a former three-time SWF World Champion. And if he wins the title tonight, he makes history as the first man EVER to have held both the SWF and OAOAST World Championships. The guy has got credentials. COLE That is unprecedented, no doubt. And a very real possibility, bearing in mind what's happened in the past few weeks. Zack Malibu, ambushed after his match with Mr. Boricua and then the next week, lured into an attack from The South Central Militia, by Landon. And then just three nights ago, Zack demanded... three days away from a PPV title defence no less... he demanded he get one of the Militia one on one on HeldDOWN~! He certainly got what he wanted, and then some, as again he was attacked after picking up the victory with Landon doing even more damage to the ribs via a steel chair. COACH It's pretty clear, Zack made a huge error in judgment last week. He let his heart rule his head, yet again. That's why he got beaten down by The South Central Militia. That's why he ended up wrestling three days before this match. Zack is entirely to blame for his rib injury. COLE A little OTT, but there's a valid question in there. Somewhere. How much will Zack's 'bravado' in the past few weeks come back to haunt him tonight, against La Cucaracha who has managed to steer clear of virtually any physicality since the match was announced? We'll find out in just a few moments, we are now moments away from go-time, let's send it up to Michael Buffer. *DING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is your main event of evening! Scheduled for one fall with a 60 minute time-limit, it is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WWWooooooorld!!! "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" The energy Michael Buffer's intro created is instantly sucked out of the arena, as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson powers through the PA. The lights dim, alternating between complete blackout and really frikkin' bright through the intro. And as the song kicks into gear, the entrance doors part at the hands of Megan Skye, heralding the arrival of Landon who stops at the top of the ramp and thrusts his hands out to his side to a chorus of boos. The lights stop alternating but stay dimmed as Landon makes the trek down the entrance ramp, looking confident but clearly focused. COLE This match, taking on so much more importance since June 3rd, when that man lost the SWF World Heavyweight Championship to Alan Clark, who OAOAST fans will remember as Bloodshed. COACH Boy, that oughta put butts in seats. Heh! Reaching the end of the rampway, Landon wipes his feet on the ring apron before he bounds into the ring, spinning himself into the centre of the ring and soaking up all the main-event spotlight. Landon then backs into his corner, going through some last minute instructions with Megan as he removes his long, sleeveless leather jacket. COLE Believe it or not, this is the first one on one main-event opportunity Maddix has had in the OAOAST. But he will certainly not be phased by the atmosphere. Even with the OAOAST's poster child across the ring from him. An eager buzz of excitement fills the air with the music cut. Megan keeps eye contact with her man, making sure he stays focused on the match and not the hostile fans around him. Which is a hard task when the crowd positively ERUPT as "Getting Away With Murder" hits! Through the shower and sparks of the pyro at the entranceway steps Zack Malibu, his treasured title belt framing the extensive athletic tape that covers his ribs. Zack's teeth are gritted, although whether it's from pain or determination isn't clear as a burst of white pyro shoots off on both sides of the ramp and he strides to the ring. COLE Well, that's one question answered. Zack Malibu, clearly not 100%. COACH Oh gee, here we go with the excuses already. COLE It's not an excuse Coach, it's fact. Zack wouldn't have those ribs taped if he wasn't injured! COACH Sure he would. Makes him look more dramatic in his hour of heroism. The team briefing continues across the ring as Zack enters, keeping half an eye on Landon as he scales the nearest corner to salute the Washington natives. Zack seems noteably cautious coming down from the ropes though, as referee Nick Patrick comes over to take the title belt. Both men are in their respective corners and lock eyes, as Buffer steps in. BUFFER Again, this contest scheduled for one fall. Nick Patrick, the official signed to this match-up, sanctioned by the One And Only Anglesault Thread. Introducing first, in the corner to my left, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring this evening by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BUFFER He hails from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Espána! Weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is a former three-time World Champion and tonight aims to create professional e-wrestling history by becoming the first man ever to hold the showcase championships of the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation and the OAOAST! Ladies and gentlemen, he is the self-proclaimed "Saviour Of The OAOAST"! He is "THE NEXT GENERATION"! He is LANDON... "LA CUCARRRRRRRRACHAAAA"... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - AAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Landon comes out of the corner with another theatrical spin and actually does a curtsey to the hard camera. He then goes back to his corner, telling with some of the fans just what he's about to do to their hero. BUFFER And, his opponent in the corner to my right! Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs in tonight at a flat two hundred and ten pounds. The flagbearer of the OAOAST and once more, the standard bearer for all who grace it's squared circle. He is the universally proclaimed "Saviour Of The OAOAST"! Ladies and gentlemen, the three-time, reigning and defending, One And Only Anglesault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooooorrrrrrlllldd... "THE FRANCHISE"... ZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMMMMMMMMMMM - AAAAAAALLLLLLLIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A veritable flood of blue and gold streamers come flying into the ring from Zack's side as he raises a fist in the air. Referee Nick Patrick offers a look at the belt to both men now with the intros dealt with, Zack taking his title and kissing the OAOAST logo as he hands it back to the referee. Landon is too busy complaining to Megan that he barely acknowledges Patrick, so he simply raises the belt to the fans. COLE And there is the prize, the OAOAST World Title. Big match atmosphere here tonight, AngleSault I'm sure wanting this contest to be extra-special at this particular event, The Great Angle Bash. The formalities are almost over and Patrick is ready to begin. So is Zack. But, there's one problem. Across the ring, Landon still bemoans the fact that he had to be the self proclaimed saviour in the intro. Plus, he didn't get any streamers. At which point Zack obliges, picking up one streamer that didn't unfurl properly and lobbing it at his head! COACH Now that's uncalled for! Landon looks appalled for a second, before finally realising what actually happened and bailing out of the ring holding his ear. The crowd boo as Megan follows out and comforts her man, going so far as to hug Landon to comfort him. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE (fighting back laughter) This certainly doesn't bode well for La Cucaracha. He got hit in the head with a paper streamer and he looks like he's about to cry out here! COACH He wasn't expecting it, that's all! Peeling himself away from Megan, Landon is fuming and gets on Patrick's case for the use of the 'illegal weapon'. Behind the referee's back Zack has collected a second streamer, which sends Landon scurrying over to the guardrail, cowering as he points Patrick to what's happening. The referee, albeit rolling his eyes, motions for Zack to move back. Which he does... ...not before throwing the streamer, this time catching Megan in the head! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hey, come on! This is getting ridiculous! Megan's reaction isn't quite as theatrical as Landon's was, but she now joins the protests too. But the final straw has been dealt for Landon. OUTRAGED that his manageress was hit, the challenger storms into the ring and right up to Zack, ranting and raving... *SLAP!* ...before slapping him in the face... *SLAP~!* ...to which Zack responds with a THUNDEROUS slap, knocking Landon clean off his feet!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE HERE we go! With the bell rung we are finally under way, as Landon scrambles to his feet and finds himself under a barrage of strikes! Right hands rock him back into the ropes, Zack taking out his frustrations on the face of La Cucaracha until referee Patrick finally manages to get through to him. Zack holds up his hands innocently, before taking Landon off the ropes with an irish whip. Back rebounds Landon, before heading into the lights with a big BAAAAAAACK bodydrop!! (RIP Vinny Mac) COLE No South Central Militia to help Landon now, he is right in the centre of Hurricane Zacky! Rolling to his knees, Maddix holds up his hands and begs off. Cross of the heart and a hope to die. Which Zack seems ready to oblige with, pulling La Cucaracha up by the EARS and backing him into the corner. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COLE Wow! Big knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second chop connects, Maddix's eyes bursting open in shock. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third chop finds the mark! With things beginning to look a little desperate for him, Landon quickly goes to the eyes, before taking a wild swing. Zack ducks though, hooking Landon as if for a back suplex, only to sit him up on the top rope. Maddix throws back an elbow, from the left and then from the right, both failing miserably. And with a quick tug of the waistband, Zack pulls Maddix into the tree of woe! MEGAN REF! REF, GET HIM OUT OF THE CORNER! Megan's protestations seem to fall on deaf ears, so she climbs to the apron to make herself better heard. Of course, Zack sees this and decides he who is without in should cast the first stone. Scaling to the middle turnbuckle, the World Champion wedges his foot between Landon's legs and STANDS ON HIS NUTS as he places a hand to his heart and looks into the skies. "Oh, saaaaaay, can you seeeeeeee by the dawn's early liiiiiiight What so proudly we haaaaaaiiiil'd at the twilight's last gleeeeeeaming?" With Landon squirming around underneath him trying desperately to get free, Zack finally notices the referee getting rid of Megan and climbs back down. The fans in the nation's capital show their appreciation for Zack's show of patriotism, while Maddix reaches up and covers his lower extremeties with his hands. COACH Now, even you can't condone that Michael! Zack Malibu should not be allowed to sing on national television. Next thing you know he'll be out here covering The Best Of Kelly Clarkson! COLE There's a Best Of Kelly Clarkson!? COACH ZING! Untieing Landon's feet, Malibu lets his opponent fall unceremoniously to the mat face-first, where he immediately tends to his testicles. Zack doesn't let up though, pulling Landon back up and slamming him in the centre of the ring. Off the ropes comes Malibu, dropping a big leg and covering... 1... 2... No. Zack immediately grabs a front facelock and looks to control Landon. However Landon has other ideas and climbs up to his feet, quickly going to the well-taped ribs with a punch which loosens the facelock a little. A second punch has the same effect. Which allows Maddix to bull forward, driving Zack back first into the turnbuckles! COLE That might change the tide right there! Indeed, the moment Zack hits the turnbuckles he crumbles, his hands instinctively going to his ribs as he groans in pain. Maddix squeezes his head out from under Zack and looks to stomp a mudhole in the World Champion. Unfortunately, after just one kick he favours his testicles again, forcing him to resort to a simple and very blatant choke in the corner. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Landon just breaks in time. PATRICK C'mon Landon, watch the choke wouldya! MADDIX He was singing the national anthem on my balls, ref! COACH There's something you don't hear every day. Bringing Zack out of the corner, Landon turns his drag into an irish whip when he gets near the centre of the ring. Zack hits the turnbuckles hard and collapses out of the corner holding his ribs. He falls right at Landon's feet, who sensing a breakthrough, stands over Zack and poses rather than follow-up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" When that pose draws the predictable, negative response, Maddix drags Zack out a little and turns him over onto his back. A quick stomp keeps Zack in place, as Landon hits the ropes. And as he comes off the ropes, he leaps up, driving his feet into Malibu's gut with a double stomp. Bouncing off of The Franchise's frame, Landon comes out of the stomps with a follow-up back senton which further crushes Zack's ribs. Of course, Maddix has to take a moment to preen his hair and gloat over that fine move before he finally reaches back and hooks a leg for a cover... 1... ...which is probably why Zack kicks out even before two. COLE There'll be plenty of time for self-congratulation if Landon manages to defeat Zack. Until then, he might be best served getting down to business. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Frustrated, Landon stands up and stomps away on Zack again before taking a brief timeout to re-allign his testicles which draws a few whistles and cat-calls. Maddix glares at the abuse before picking Zack up again. A quick forearm connects, setting Zack up. Another irish-whip sends Zack across the ring and into a corner, hitting the turnbuckles spine first. But this time Zack doesn't come rebounding out and ends up slumped in the corner. So in runs Landon looking to follow up. Only for Malibu to suddenly come to life, rushing out of the corner with a big clothesline that scythes the challenger down! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Big knockdown by Zack! But you can see, the damage has already been done to those ribs. Zack doubles over the moment he hits the clothesline, favouring the ribs as he goes back over to Landon. A quick jab greets Landon as he comes back to his feet. And a second. Maddix falls back into the corner and Zack goes back to the well... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! Even that exertion seems to tweak at Zack's ribs though. He shakes it off enough to execute an irish whip which sends Landon into the ropes, slowly setting himself for another backdrop. A little too slowly though. Landon goes through the legs with a baseball slide and pops up behind Zack, who isn't able to manoeuver quickly enough to avoid a forearm, delivered to the small of the back! Down to a knee drops Zack, only to be pulled back up and dragged backwards into a modified Backbreaker across the knee!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Landon... 1... 2... No! As Zack sits up off the kickout, determined to show he's very much still in the fight, Landon quickly zeroes in on the ribs again. Or, more specifically the tape that's wrapped around the ribs, as he begins to claw and tear at the athletic tape! COLE Referee needs to get in there, Maddix trying to expose those injured ribs even further! COACH Why should the referee get in there? Landon's doing nothing illegal. If he wanted to strip Zack naked, besides me needing somebody to replace your unconscious ass, he'd be well within his rights to do so! Once Zack senses the tape being pulled at he quickly gets defensive, firing back elbows and trying to scuttle away on his backside. A couple of forearms to the back stop him, momentarily at least. Zack again tries to get away though so Landon improvises, wrapping his legs around Zack's body and trapping him in a bodyscissors! COLE Landon, not world-reknowned for his technical ability on the mat. But this is sound strategy. COACH Yeah, because it lets him go for the tape again! Sure enough, Landon uses his free hands to again start unravelling the athletic tape, to boos from the crowd! Zack struggles to fight it off this time. In his desperation he quickly jabs the point of his elbow into Landon's knee socket. And from there he just simply grinds the elbow into the knee, causing Maddix to start howling in pain as well, until he clubs Zack across the back a couple of times to sort him out. With a quick twist, Maddix then turns Zack over onto his back, keeping the body scissored with a pin... 1... 2... Kickout by Zack. Beating Zack to his feet, Landon lands with a quick kick to the ribs. And a second. Landon then delivers a roundhouse kick to the small of Zack's back, then pulls him up for a back suplex. When getting lifted off his feet, Malibu shifts his weight back, floating over Landon, but the tenderness of his ribcage comes into play again, and he keels over upon landing. Landon grabs him in a facelock and tries for a vertical suplex, but Zack throws a leg up to block, and reverses to a suplex of his own, snapping Landon to the canvas! COLE Zack is a great counter wrestler, but Maddix was quick to exploit the weakness of the ribs tonight. Even slight manuevers like countering that back suplex probably did him more harm than good. Zack pulls himself up, the torn tape hanging from his skin, while Landon takes an extra moment to rise. Staggered from the suplex, Landon turns around to meet with a right hand from the champion! Zack then opens fire with hard slaps across the face, in rapid fire succession, then shoves Landon backwards to the ropes! Springing back towards his foe, Maddix gets caught with an inverted atomic drop that keeps him off his game long enough to fall victim to a discus clothesline from Zack! Malibu crawls across his foe and hooks a leg, and the fans instantly urge Nick Patrick to get down and start counting! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Megan claps wildly, whooing and wowing that her man escaped defeat. Zack looks at her briefly as he pulls Landon up to his feet, but La Cucaracha reacts quickly, pulling Malibu into a hard knee! Zack doubles over, and Maddix takes him and lifts him, dropping him front suplex style on the top rope! COLE Oooh, that couldn't have felt good! COACH Ya THINK!? Malibu dangles, then drops his feet on the apron. As he leans over the top rope, Landon takes a shot, trying to knock him off the apron, but Zack blocks! Landon takes a shot with his left hand, and that one gets blocked as well! Zack drops down and fires his body through the ropes, nailing Landon in HIS ribs with a shoulderblock, then slingshots over him with a sunset flip! Landon struggles not to fall backwards, and then quickly grabs onto the top rope to stop himself from going, then drops down onto Malibu with a seated splash! COLE I'll give him credit, that was a nice counter by Maddix! Zack rolls away, and when he starts picking himself up in the corner, Landon lurks behind him, waiting for a moment to strike. Zack gets up, but Landon shoves him chest first into the turnbuckles, then drags him by the waistband of his tights towards the center of the ring, spins Zack around to come face to face with him, and then traps him in a bearhug! COACH A bearhug!? COLE It's normally a power wrestlers move, Coach, but it'll certainly have the desired effect on Zack Malibu if Landon can keep it clinched! Megan cheers her man on, ordering Landon to "make him tap", while Malibu is trapped in the hold. Zack attempts a struggle, but winces every time, showing obvious agony due to the consistency of Landon's assaults on the ribs. Zack struggles, trying to free himself, and then brings the point of his elbow into the side of Landon's head, knocking him senseless for a second! A second shot with the elbow follows, and that causes a break! Landon staggers away holding his head, giving Zack enough space to fire off his patented superkick...but Zack can barely get the leg up before he collapses AGAIN, sparing Maddix certain defeat! COLE Malibu was looking to try School's Out there, but couldn't do it. Landon Maddix, thanks to that assault by the South Central Millitia last week, has Zack Malibu in the palm of his hand. COACH So, you saying we're gonna have a new champion tonight? COLE I've never been one to doubt Zack, Coach. Not now, not ever...but he is hurting, and even Zack Malibu can only take so much! Maddix takes Zack and nails a European uppercut, then a hard chop of his own, cracking his hand against the skin on Zack's chest. *SLAP~!* "How do YOU like it?" *SLAP~!* "You like that, Zack? Huh? HUH?" *SLAP~!* Landon then takes Zack by the arm and wrenches it, keeping the wristlock held, as he steps over the arm. Landon shouts "Buenos Noches!" to the crowd as he looks to deliver the move, but as he brings his leg up, Malibu yanks his arm free and catches it, then drops down and pulls both of Landon's legs out from under him! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE I don't think that was the good night that Maddix was expecting! Maddix feels for his jaw after falling face first into the unforgiving canvas, but Malibu drops onto Landon's back, pulling his arms behind him in a full nelson and then begins RUBBING LANDON'S FACE INTO THE CANVAS! COACH No, not THE FACE~! Landon cries out in agony, and Megan runs to that side of the ring, begging Zack to stop, as Landon's facial features are smeared across the ring mat. Zack stands up and moves towards the legs now, placing a foot behind Landon's left knee as he lifts the leg up off the canvas, then stomps it back down, sandwiching the knee! Zack then takes the leg and lifts, causing Maddix to dangle for a moment before slamming the knee back to the canvas! COLE It looks like Zack is now exploiting a weakness on Landon Maddix! Landon howls, holding his knee in pain, as Zack rolls him onto his back. Malibu takes him by the legs and tries to apply a submission, but Landon kicks off, knocking Zack to the canvas! Landon scurries to the ropes on his backside, with Megan right there to talk him through it as he favors his knee. Megan's advice? "Shake it off!" Even Landon looks a little unimpressed with the advice, but he carries on, getting to his feet and circling (limping?) around his foe. Landon and Zack then tie up, with Zack dropping low immediately and pulling Landon's leg off the canvas, leaving the challenger in the prone position of hopping on one foot and begging for his life! Malibu swings Landon around, and spins himself around, nailing Maddix with a discus clothesline! Zack then mounts the shoulders and starts hammering on Landon with right hands, then hard elbow shots, with Landon desperately trying to cover up! Zack gets up and takes him by the legs, and tries rolling him into a Boston crab, but Landon quickly crawls out from Zack's grasp and rolls himself to the floor, escaping the submission once again! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Landon Maddix takes to the floor for a breather, and that is not making this crowd happy! Megan, ever-present by her man's side, races over to help him to his feet. Landon assures her he's OK, but whatever his definition of "OK" is, it's short-lived, as Malibu nails him with a baseball slide that sends him falling into the guardrail! Megan jumps back in shock, then quickly helps Landon to his feet...not noticing Zack Malibu racing to the far ropes and coming off with a tope that takes Landon, and nearly Megan, out! COACH YO~! COLE Suicide tope by Zack Malibu, and Landon Maddix is not getting the rest time he so desired! Both competitors lay in a heap on the floor, as Nick Patrick begins the count. ONE! TWO! Megan shouts "get up" at Landon, shaking his head and trying to bring him back to life. THREE! FOUR! Maddix stirs, asking Megan if she'll help him up, which she starts trying to do...finding out that the virtually dead weight of a pro wrestler is not an easy thing to budge! FIVE! SIX! Maddix braces one arm on the apron and pushes up, while Megan wraps the other one around her shoulders and pulls him up by the waist, getting him to a full standing position by the count of seven. He turns around, and *POW~!*, gets nailed with a right hand from Malibu, complete with Batman sound effect! Zack takes Landon and slams him face first into the canvas, and as Landon raises his head, Zack goes for SCHOOL'S OUT...but Landon moves, and Megan shrieks, putting her hands up to block the kick! Zack stops his foot just in time, as it was THISCLOSE from knocking her out cold...but his show of mercy doesn't prove to bring good karma his way, as Landon shoves him ribs-first into the ring apron! COACH Nice guys finish last, Zack! COLE He's not finished yet, Coach. Landon pushes Zack up onto the apron and rolls him into the ring. He turns to Megan and gives her a hug, telling her it's alright, before he gets on the apron. With Zack on the canvas, Landon slingshots in with a senton, but Zack rolls under it, back out to the apron! Landon rolls through with the move, coming up to his feet...but as Zack leaps for a springboard, Megan grabs his ankle and pulls him back to the apron! Malibu kicks her off, knocking her on her ass (which disappoints those at ringside with an up close view of it!), and can't stop Maddix from suplexing him back in...but he CAN counter it, as he lands behind Landon and grabs a rear waistlock, which means one thing... ...it's ROLLING GERMANS TIME~! Zack nails the first one to a loud pop, and struggles with Landon, but manages to bring him to his feet and nails the second one! Slowly, he rolls to his feet again, but Landon kicks his leg back, out of view from Nick Patrick, and catches Malibu low. He spins around and goes for a DDT, but Zack pulls his head out at the last second, and quickly grabs his legs, trying to tie them up, but again, Landon kicks off and scurries away! He moves to the corner, and as Zack gets up he charges in! Landon gets a boot up, but Zack catches it and throws it down...and gets an eye gouge for his troubles! Landon props himself up on the top rope and pulls Zack towards him, trapping his head as he kicks off the ropes, rotating in mid-air... ...CRASH LANDON~! Actually, it's more like CRASH LANDING, as Malibu throws Landon down to the canvas before completion of the move, and finally gets the elusive challenger trapped in a SHARPSHOOTER~! COLE He caught him! He caught him, Coach, and now he's gonna make him pay! Zack tightens his grip on the legs, arching back as much as he can. The sounds of agony from Landon Maddix are music to his ears, and Zack leans back even further, trying his damndest to get that knee to pop! "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" Landon keeps squirming, but he's nowhere near the ropes. Patrick drops to one knee, checking on Maddix's condition and asking if he wants to quit, only to be told off for his troubles! Malibu rears back again, and finally Megan Skye has had enough, entering the ring to confront Malibu! She lunges for him, but Zack breaks the hold and gets his arms up, catching her before she attacks! Megan's face goes white, as she's fearful of what Zack would do to her! Zack keeps her at bay, smirking the whole time, because when Landon goes for the tried and true "jump the face from behind while the manager is being tended to", Zack slides out of the way and shoots Megan towards Landon, causing the two of them to collide, and Zack scores with a schoolboy on the stunned challenger! ONE! TWO! NO! KICKOUT! COLE Landon and Megan thought they had their act down pat, but if anyone has seen it and done it all, it's Zack Malibu! Megan, dazed, rolls to the floor and leans on the apron, holding her head. She likely didn't even notice her man nearly meeting defeat just seconds ago. Landon gets to his feet rather gingerly, his legs hurting him with every step he takes. He turns around, and when he does he wishes he hadn't, because Zack delivers a kick right above the knee, causing Landon's leg to buckle! Another kick, this one to the back of the knee follows, and Landon drops to one knee! Zack takes Landon and moves in for the kill, bending his leg back and lifting him for a kneebreaker...but as Zack drops Landon down, Maddix thinks fast, using the momentum to change gears and snap Zack to the canvas with a headlock takeover! Hopping to his feet, Landon grabs Malibu by the head, but Zack counters almost immediately, carrying Landon over with a Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TW-NO! Maddix locks the waist and pushes up, bringing both men to a standing position, and then lifts Zack horizontal before dropping him on his good (albeit sore) knee with a gutbuster! COACH Who ya gonna call? GUTBUSTERS! COLE Coach, anyone ever tell you you should go on Last Comic Standing? COACH No! You think I should? You think I could win? COLE Why not? With puns like that, there wouldn't be anyone left in the room with you! COACH Well ha ha HA, Mikey Cole. Malibu crawls across the canvas now, and Landon draws the fans' disapproval by hovering over Zack, taunting him with light slaps across the back of the head. Landon then sits on Zack's back and pulls his head up, trying to jab his fingers in Zack's eyes! Patrick admonishes Maddix, and Landon snaps back at the official, showing no fear of reprimand as he pulls Zack to his feet...but Zack shoves him away and then fire's off a quick SCHOOL'S OUT once again...and STILL can't connect, as Maddix is too quick for him, catching the foot! Landon then segues the missed attempt into a fireman's carry, getting Zack up on his shoulders for GO 2 SLEEP...but the weight is too much and his leg buckles again! Landon loses his grip in favor of tending to his knee, causing Zack to slide down behind his back and hit the ropes, delivering a ZACK ATTACK~! to the side of La Cucaracha's head~! COLE The shining wizard connects! Zack Malibu scores with a signature move that could save him his title here tonight! ONE! TWO! THR-NO!~! Maddix kicks out AGAIN! COACH Or NOT, Mikey Cole! Zack Malibu may have met his match in the resilience department! Zack rolls off of Maddix, laying on the canvas for a moment to get whatever type of rest time he can afford. Zack powers to his feet, fueled by the chants of his name from the capacity crowd, but he remains keeled over, favoring the ribs that have sustained more damage than they should have in the past few weeks, and certainly within the past few days. Nick Patrick notices Zack's condition and checks him over, but Zack assures him he's OK as he walks towards the ropes. With Maddix down, Zack starts climbing the turnbuckles, and the crowd reaction grows louder and louder as he climbs up each rope. Finally perched on the top, Zack steadies himself and rises to his feet, preparing to launch himself off the top...that is until Megan hops up on the apron, shaking the ropes so that Zack falls and crotches himself on the turnbuckles! COLE HEY! Get her out of there, Patrick, come on! The fans boo loudly as Megan argues with Nick Patrick, proclaiming it was an accident and she was just trying to "cheer Landon on and wake him up!" Patrick tells her to get off the apron and she listens, although the real damage has been done. Zack remains stuck in the position on the ropes, aching over what just happened to him. Maddix gets to his feet and staggers towards the corner, pulling Malibu up onto his shoulders and staggering a few steps away from the ropes. Shouting "GO TO SLEEP~!" to the crowd, Landon pushes Malibu off his shoulders, head first into his right knee! COACH Malibu just went to sleep! Landon falls back, groaning over the impact that his own knee sustained, but quickly sucks it up and crawls over to the Modern Day Warrior, hooking a leg for the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE Looks like he's still awake to me, Coach! Maddix pounds on the canvas and cries foul, like any good heel would do. Patrick tells him otherwise, and Landon blows the official off, not wanting to hear his version of the story. Turning to see Zack rolled onto all fours, Landon delivers a running soccer kick to the ribs that puts Zack on his back, then drags him to center ring and drops onto him with a back senton! Zack immediately tries curling into a ball, blood coming out of his mouth for the second time this week, as Landon puts the boots to him. COLE Zack's got to be bleeding internally once again, and Landon Maddix...what's he going for now? Landon mounts Zack's shoulders, striking him with some rapid forearm shots that cause Zack to see stars! Maddix then gets off his rival and slowly steps out to the apron. He climbs the ropes even slower, and raises his arms to the crowd, mockingly looking to draw support from them. Instead he gets nothing but boos, which are music to his ears, as he cups them in mocking fashion to again taunt the audience. Landon then stands up on the top and dives off, tucking his legs in before kick them out as he soars off with a frog splash right down onto THE CANVAS~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE He moved! Zack Malibu moved out of the way out that frog splash, which would have been certain doom! Landon kicks his legs as he puts his hand to his chest. Zack uses every last bit of energy he's got in the tank and drags himself towards the ropes, using them as an aid in getting to his feet. Stumbling like a college girl at Mardi Gras, Zack focuses on the wounded former SWF World Champion. Malibu grabs Maddix, and pulls him up, but Maddix reaches up and pulls Zack down, right into a small package! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEENO! NO! Zack rolls through and brings Landon up, hooking his leg as he lifts him for a FALLING STAR DRIVER~!...but Zack has trouble getting him up, and drops Landon back to his feet! Landon reacts fast, shoving Zack to the ropes and grabbing a sleeper hold! Beads of sweat pour down Landon's face as he tries to put Malibu to sleep with yet another move, but Zack will have none of it, shifting his body to the side and drilling Landon's ribcage chock full o' elbows! Maddix breaks, and Zack goes for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but Landon squirms and falls behind him...right onto his bad wheel! Landon nearly collapses by his own doing, but instead falls to the canvas by Zack's doing, after a SCHOOL'S OUT FINALLY CONNECTS~! COLE HE GOT HIM THAT TIME! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Getting Away With Murder" echoes throughout the arena, mixed with the ferocious cheers of the fans, as Nick Patrick takes a weary Zack Malibu and raises his arm up high! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAALLLLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Megan crawls into the ring and checks on Landon, who lay motionless on the apron. After being handed his World Championship, Zack slowly makes his way to the corner and leans against it for a moment, then backs away and raises the belt over his head and salutes his fans. COLE He came here tonight injured. He was forced to cough up blood. He wrestled at less than one hundred percent, just the way Landon Maddix intended, but Maddix could still not seal the deal! Zack Malibu proved once again tonight why he is a fighting champion, overcoming all obstacles to restore credibility to the OAOAST World Championship! COACH Zacky's gotta be careful, Mikey Cole. One man, even if he's a superman like Zack Malibu, can only stand so much. Landon Maddix worked him over pretty good and he still came out on top, but what about the next guy? No one's invincible, Mikey Cole! COLE He might not be invincible, but he's still the World Heavyweight Champion! Zack Malibu, looking as mortal as one could, rolls out of the ring and is immediately met on the ramp by trainers and road agents looking to tend to him. Malibu is helped up the ramp bloodied and broken, but definitely not beaten, and most certainly STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.

"You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" Unless someone in the arena is collecting AC/DC's royalty checks, there is not a soul present who's happy to hear this music for the second time tonight. From parting entrance doors steps Mister Moneymaker, pudgy frame pouring over green trunks and sparkling green boots. His demeanor is a sternly annoyed one, thanks to the loss his mates incurred earlier in the night. However he tries to improve his mood by reviewing his bank statement. Behind him stands the most despicable individual in the OAOAST, Ned Blanchard. The Handsome Hustler wears his alternate attire of white trunks with silver stars and bright white boots. Surprisingly, Jade Rodez stands at his side, something that does not go unnoticed by the booing crowd. Ned keeps asking her if she truly wishes to be present for this match. But the deathly serious look on her face, gives him all the answers he needs. COACH How about that? Jade Rodez showing great bravery and being out here after the injury she suffered through earlier tonight! After her own friend, Krista Isadora Duncan, neglected her needs, Jade still shows up in support of her team. God bless you, Jade Rodez. BUFFER The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first from Beverly Hills, California, weighing in at two hundred thirty five pounds, he is a three time OAOAST tag team champion, and a current six man champion, he is the HANDSOME HUSTLER, NED BLAAAANCHAARD! And his partner from Vero Beach, Florida, he is The Billion Dollar Heir, CEO of The Enterprise, and the second largest investor of TSM, he is MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! The expected jeers are given off from the crowd, but The Enterprise contingent doesn't seem overly bothered by them. Ned takes up his time with making sure that Jade is safely situated on the outside, while Moneymaker enthralls himself with his bank account. COLE Simon, Christian and Allen were are pretty slapdash grouping. Ned and Moneymaker, however, are a “perfect” team, given their skillset, and their similar personalities. Personalities, which I'll be nice by not going into. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The irresistibly bratty sound of Girlfriend by Avril Lavinge floods the arena with a bouncing beat. With it comes a gorgeous fountain of red pyro, that mingles with a pink waterfall of pyro. Unlike normal, the golden pyro wall refuses to boom to life. However in it's place stands a much more pleasing sight, that of Alix Maria Spezia! Attired in white tube top, matching booty shorts, and fluffy faux fur covered wrist bands and boots, the SoCal babe skips along the entrance ramp whipping the roaring crowd into a gargantuan frenzy! They cheer themselves hoarse over her arrival, and she thanks them for their love by blowing kisses their way. COLE Alix having to wrestle without Krista tonight. In her place is Alix's ex-boyfriend Leon Rodez. As Alix isn't the type to hold a deep grudge, and Leon just wants to get his hands around The Enterprise, I'd think they'd be able to mesh. However, it should make for an interesting partnership tonight! Ally gingerly bounces down the ramp, waving to her legion of fans, and blowing kisses to the many adoring women that have come to see her tonight. One fan is so enraptured with Alix, that she charges towards the guardrail and thrusts a bouquet of roses into Alix's hand. Quite the sweetie, Ally graciously accepts the gift, and happily flaunts her flowers to the camera. COLE You notice that Mackenzie has been left behind by The Enterprise. When faced with the likes of Alix and Krista, Mackenzie can't seem to control herself. At first The Enterprise kind of ignored it, then they claimed she was being tempted, but now they have to know Mackie's got a crush on Ally and Krista! BUFFER And the opponents, introducing first from Los Angeles, California, she is the owner and operator of Miss Spezia Sweetie's bakery in West Hollywood, California, she was named Forbes magazine fastest rising entrepreneur, she is a former 24/7 champion, and a three time tag team champion, ladies and gentlemen please welcome The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA!!! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! COACH How the hell did she get named a fastest rising entrepreneur? She wouldn't even remember her own name if it weren't for Krista screaming it out everynight, As pink and red spotlights swirl behind her, Ally climbs to the height of the turnbuckles. Putting on a look of alluring sensuality, she tosses a loving kiss into the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop into the camera. The shareef don't like it "YEAAAAAAA!" Rock the Casbah Rock the Casbah Today is a good day for Patty because I now know the lyrics to Rock the casbah! Today is a good day for DC because they now get to witness the beloved OAOAST babyface, Leon Rodez! The roaming yellow lights play off a lean physique packed into a black singlet, with a sleek purple trim and design. His heart is heavy, and his mind is weary, evidenced by the fact that he's neglected to wear his trademark robe. However, he manages enough joviality to strike up a comedic jig, before finally punching the air in front of him and retreating down the ramp. COLE Leon Rodez has been through hell. Perhaps tonight he can finally crawl out of it. COACH How would that be? You think just because he can beat Moneymaker, Jade's gonna do a 180 and go back to her old self? What sense would that make? COLE What sense does Moneymaker thinking that getting the tag titles away from COD will erase homosexuality from the world? There's a better chance that Jade will see the true spirit, and heart, that her brother uses to fight for her, and return where she belongs. BUFFER And her partner from Grand Rapids, Michigan, he is a three time OAOAST 24/7 champion, a former X Chanpion and a former OAOAST tag champion, he is the New Age Love Machine, The Grand Rapids Golden Child, Leon “SILKY SMOOTH RODEZ”!!! The crowd is delighted to hear the name of one of their all time favorites. But as they greet him with a thundering ovation, he simply nods respectfully, instead keeping the majority of his attention locked squarely on Jade. Blanchard eyes Leon's staredown and quickly grabs hold of Jade, “protecting” her from her “insane” sibling. COACH Leon Rodez is in a terrible situation, because right now he is facing The Enterprise A team, and he doesn't even have a real wrestler on his side. COLE What is with you and this real wrestler talk? COACH This real wrestler talk is the truest word you've heard yet. Asking Alix to fight Moneymaker is like asking Jessica Alba to throw down with Ted DiBiase. That is ludicrous! It don't make no sense. Rodez has to be out his mind if he thinks he ain't fighting at a disadvantage. Regardless of Coach's qualms, Leon offers a handshake to his ex to show his support and solidarity . But Alix channels the spirit of Chris Farley and screams “Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta hug!”. Even though they aren't brothers, and one of them is a girl, Alix hugs Leon anyway. COLE Well, no hard feelings on Alix's part. And Coach, please don't go for the easy joke I just set you up with. DING DING DING The bouncy brunette agrees to begin the contest for her team. Yet no sooner then two seconds after the bell rings is she forced to combat The Enterprise's treachery, as Moneymaker attempts to enter the ring. A slap by Ally quickly rids the squared circle of his presence, but he turns out to be nothing but a decoy that permits Blanchard to hammer her with clubbing forearms. As the fans boo his terrible display, The Handsome Hustler ravages her back with further blows, drawing up red welts onto her golden brown skin. “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” the audience chants, led on by Leon, who shares in their sentiments. Blanchard laces his fingers through the curled strands of Ally's lovely hair, and leads her towards a neutral corner. With a vile grin taking hold of his face, he throws her forward, impacting her nose onto the harsh ring posts. The fan favorite recoils in intense agony and sinks to her knees, tears already welling up in her eyes. COACH Leon Rodez is some kind of fool. This man just get sadder. He acts all mad, gets all hot at The Enterprise, and when it comes time to man up, it's his lesbian ex-girlfriend who he sends to fight his battle. The six man champion tightens his claws around Alix's neck and cruelly leads her upright. As she gags under the immense strain, The Ned Man thrusts her back into the corner. Within seconds his choking hand is balled into a deadly fist that unleashes a hell storm of punches into the side of her head. Each blow draws out a groan of disgust from the audience, and a horrible moan from Alix. The pain grows even worse when Blanchard begins pumping his white boots into her bare midsection. Despite having a rather ripped stomach, Alix can only take so much of his strikes and eventually sinks to the canvas in distress. Leaving his wounded rival, to lean against the turnbuckle and wail in misery, Ned backs towards the center of the ring. “I don't know whatcha heard about me, DC. But N-E-D is a certified P-I-M-P!' Ned proclaims to the booing audience. The resident Pimp charges forward, and once he nears Alix he leaps into the sky, extending his legs forward so that they drape over the ropes. While that seems innocent enough, what's far less pleasing to anyone not named Ned Blanchard, is that his crotch is being furiously ground into her weeping face. “I'M A HUSTLAH! I'M A, I'M A, HUSTLAH! I'M A HUSTLAH, I'M A, I'M A, HUSTLAH!” Blanchard sings while he joyfully pumps his frank n beans into her mouth, COACH I bet Alix is getting more pleasure from Ned's sexual assault then she ever got with consensual sex with Leon. COLE I'd like to you say that to Leon's face! The audience is livid with Ned's display, and begins polluting the air with jeers, taunts, threats of violence, and debris. One particularly mannish looking lesbian in a “New Orleans needs stronger dikes” t-shirt brandishes a crowbar. Sensing that Ned is about to cause a worse riot then the Rodney King verdict, Charles Robinson demands he ceases his actions. Thankfully, the sexually satisfied Blanchard agrees to the request and dismounts Alix. As Ally lies on the mat, coughing, wheezing and wishing she were tagging with her girlfriend and not her ex-boyfrined, Ned retreats to his corner to tag in his boss, Theo Moneymaker. COLE And Teddy Moneymaker grants us with one of his rare in ring appearances. See Theo prefers to let various cronies and lackeys do his dirty work, while he watches from atop his ivory tower. Needless to say Mister Moneymaker is not warmly received by the DC audience. The Maryland coalition of lesbian surgeons, seems to make it their personal mission to boo him out of the ring. Moneymaker decides to give them something else to hate him for, and cruelly presses Alix's neck against the second rope. Intense pain booms all throughout her body, and a sharp blackness settles into her world, as Moneymaker ruthlessly chokes her with the cable. Robinson pleads with the billionaire to cease and desist, but there's little inclination in Moneymaker that he's willing to do so. Instead he takes Alix's limp arm and wraps it under the rope, forcing her to attempt to choke herself to death. On the outside Jade's casual disinterest watches an act that would've reduced her to tears only three months ago. “What's the deal, Robinson? You can't let this stand!” Leon shouts. No Robinson can't, and he finally backs Moneymaker away from his victim. Moneymaker pleads ignorance, claiming that he was unaware he engaged in questionable tactics. This defense provides a suitable distraction for Ned Blanchard to reach into the ring and swat at Ally Cat with his leather boots. Robinson hears a horrible thud, that of Alix's breathless body capsizing to the mat, and instantly turns his attention to the scene of the crime. There's nothing he can do to punish Ned, however, as The delicious but viscous superstar tags himself into the bout. COACH This is how a team operates, baby. A team of dyed in the wool, republican, heterosexual, Americans. Not like a working class, STD infested pornstar and his bull dagger bitch ex-girlfriend. Shunning Robinson's cries for sportsmanship, The Enterprise duo attach Alix into a double front facelock. However, their suplex attempt is delayed when Blanchard gleefully informs Moneymaker that he can see her nipples. Once that piece of information is digested, the pairing haul Alix into the skies then promptly drop her backwards with a suplex. Ally immediately shoots her back off the canvas, wincing in white hot pain, and pleading for Krista to come and save her. Unfortunately, all she gets is Krista's ex, Ned Blanchard efforting a pinfall. Robinson scores it.. ONE TWO But Ally kicks out, bringing great delight to the hearts of the fans and Leon Rodez. Unfortunately their joy is short lived as Blanchard lacerates Ally's brutalized neck with a leg drop. Alix's hands instantly moves to her throat, which feels as though it's dangerously close to separating from the rest of her body. Blanchard commemorates his achievement by photographing Alix with an imaginary camera phone. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” the audience sings. COACH Lemme tell you something about Leon Rodez. This cat is so useless and pointless, that Alix ain't even calling out for him to come and help her, she's calling out for someone who ain't even in this match. Think about that. COLE Leon Rodez is a wonderful athlete, but you seem to have some kind of problem with him? COACH He's bitch made! He's been exposed as a punk on an almost weekly basis. He ain't gonna do nothing, but talk. You can just treat him like a ho, 'cause that's what he is. Dude is like stairs, everyone walks all over him. Blanchard grabs hold of Ally's coffee colored locks and uses them as a leash to drag her into the ropes. He snarls towards the heated crowd, while her eyes are ripped to shreds by the callous surface of the ring ropes. Bone chilling screams spill from her throat, washing out Robinson's five count, and Moneymaker's nearby laughter. With Alix's vision utterly obliterated by Ned's devilish actions, she's powerless to prevent him from trapping her into a front facelock. He drags her weeping and squirming body to his corner, where his hand meets Moneymaker's. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” the audience bleats. Spurred on by hatred of the crowd, Moneymaker renters the ring in a flourishing velocity so fast that Ally scarcely has a moment to register his charge before his Billion Dollar Knee Lift impacts gruesomely with her jaw. Terror laced croaks escape her lips, and she topples backwards, landing in a quivering mound of faux fur, sweat, and busted bones. Heaving for breath, she courageously attempts to battle towards her feet. But the task is made all but impossible when Moneymaker awkwardly bends her arm forward, and hooks his elbow underneath her shoulder. Reveling in her immediate cries, the Vero Beach native attaches his hands to her furry wrist bands and uses it to press her arm down, generating more pressure. Alix exerts a grandoise effort to break free, screaming and grunting while she tries to pry his hand away from her's. The Billion Dollar heir counteracts her efforts by straddling her body, careful to make sure he doesn't slip down her baby oiled skin. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” With no hope of prying Moneymaker's death grip away from her, Alix is forced to fight fire with fire, and use an especially dirty tactic. She drives her finger deep into his steel grey eyes, earning a primal roar from Moneymaker, but also earning her freedom. As the crowd continues to root her on, The Hollywood Bad Girl bounds towards the cables. Upon her return, wrestling's richest man grounds her momentum to a halt with a basic shoulder block. He follows that strike up with a quick pin... ONE TWO But Ally kicks out and Moneymaker is irate as a result. While he calculates he cost of having Robinson killed, he pulls Miss Spezia to her vertical base. From there the Floridian whips her into the ropes. As she returns her to her foe, he attempts to decapitate her with a lariat! However, she swoops beneath the strike continues the trek towards the cables. Enraged by her avoidance, Moneymaker twirls around to retry his lariat effort. Unfortunately, he finds Alix's arm locked around his enormous noggin. She twirls through the skies, then finally brings Moneymaker down to pulverize him with the Sucker Free DDT!! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” With momentum ever in danger of slipping away, The Hollywood Bad Girl wastes no time with a dramatic hot tag, instead springing forward to tag in her old-flame, Leon Rodez! COLE Go get you some, Leon Rodez! Waves of cheers engulf every inch of the Verizon Center, so much so that the brutal sound The Shack Attack (rolling clothesline) obliterating Moneymaker's nose can barely be heard. COLE SHACK ATTACK~~~!~!~!! Seeing Moneymaker wiped out with one shot, brings a bit of reluctance to heart of Ned Blanchard. Yet, he wishes to put on a courageous showing for Jade, and engages in battle with his archrival. But the second he confronts Leon, he is peppered with a jab. And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And a kiss to the audience! And an enziguri that reduces Ned to a finely sculpted heap of pain and misery. “MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!” the crowd yells before breaking into chants of Leon's name. COLE No matter what city we go to, the fans love Leon Rodez! Moneymaker, of course fails to share these sentiments, and seeks to derail the love train with another Billion Dollar Knee Lift. But as he nears the Grand Rapids Golden Child, Ally springs into action. She uses his raised knee as a launching pad to rocket herself into the sky. As she draws across Moneymaker's face, she whips her shoe around to smack him in his jaw! The sudden slaughter does an amazing amount of damage to Moneymaker, and he's forced to beat a hasty retreat to the outside. Unfortunately, there will be no reprieve for the billion dollar heir, as Rodez soars over the ropes with arm outstretched for a lariat! However Leon's scud missile turns into nothing but a dud missile, thanks to Blanchard hastily pulling his boss out of the way. Thankfully, Leon avoids a catastrophic crash by shifting his boots downwards and landing clumsily on the mats. But this less then graceful landing, allows Ned to smash him with forearms. With Leon properly subdued, Ned roughly deposits him into the ring. “LEON! LEON! LEON! As the fan favorite steps upright, he eyes Ned's leather boot heading towards his face. The Michigander acts quickly, grabbing hold of Ned's shin, and then spinning him round with a dragon whip. Though the move was nauseating, Blanchard finds it within himself to stand up. Problematically, he stands up into side kick to the midsection. With doubled over and on the verge of vomiting, Rodez carries himself towards the ropes. Once he nears The Handsome Hustler, he extends his muscular legs forward to smash his chiseled face with a crowd thrilling dropkick! Ned is thrown backwards as though he's been shot out of a cannon. He struggles to gain his orientation, but the sight of blood seeping from his nose devolves him into a screaming mess. The sight of crimson goo brings a small grin to Leon's studly face, but causes one fan to become distraught with concern, "OH SNAP! STOP THE MATCH, THE DUDE HAS AIDS! DON'T LET HIS BLOOD GET ON YOU! ALL OF YA'LL ARE GONNA GET AIDS! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN NONE OF YOU!" After thanking the man for his concern, The New Age Love Machine orders Ned to stand and fight. While The Handsome Hustler stands, he doesn't do much fighting, as Rodez flings him into the cables. However, Neddy Bear reverses the hold, and it's Leon who's sent on a journey to the cables. When the ropes spit him back towards his foe, he lowers his beefy chest in hopes of impaling Blanchard with his shoulder. Ned avoids the impalement by leap frogging his oncoming enemy. The Grand Rapids native counters this by droping to his stomach, and wrapping his ankles around Ned's leg. Blanchard is instantly pulled from the air, and savagely slammed face first into the unforgiving mats. “OOOOOOH” “Get up, Ned! I'm not done yet!” Leon screams, getting a raucous cheer in response from the fans. Ned, responds to this order by trying to scoot to the safety of his corner. Yet, Rodez stalks his trek, and latches onto his arm to pull him towards his feet. The exhausted Blanchard is then thrown into a neutral corner, where the steel posts cut through the tanned flesh on his back. The pain grows even more intolerable when his archenemy shoots forward to skewer him with the Superman Spear! Mortally wounded, Ned staggers out of the corner, hands extended towards a partner that's some twenty feet away. Leon ensures Blanchard will never be able to close the distance between he and Moneymaker, when he snapmares the six man champ to the ground. With Blanchard momentarily incapacitated, Rodez scurries to the top rope. The Verizon Center is brought to it's feet with joyous anticipation over the high risk move that's soon to arrive. Their hero doesn't dare delay his amazing finisher, and quickly hurls himself off the ropes with the 450 Splash! Blanchard rolls out of the way at the last possible second! Unable to get his hands up in defense, Leon finds his face disfigured by the stone solid ring mats. As the audience reacts with great shock, he rolls around the canvas, unsure what body part to grab first, his busted ribs or his throbbing face. Blanchard knows exactly what body part to target, and does so with a grounded body lock. His muscular arms snap together in a single bloody crunch around Leon's waist, and the bulk of the man's fighting spirit is all but destroyed. He curses and groans his ill luck, while Ned's vile hold continues to threaten to snap him in half. Eying the terrible grimace on Leon's boyish face, Robinson wonders if he's ready to submit. While Ned replies “Of course he is!”, Leon shoots that down with a hearty “Hell no!” “LEON! LEON! LEON!” sing the audience, doing their best to rally The New Age Love Machine to victory. In spite of the vice grip that drains his breath, energy, and strength, Rodez somehow manages to will himself to his feet. Blanchard greets this surprising change in position by shifting into a waistlock. This proves to be a terrible idea, as Leon's black padded elbow begins hammering his noggin. Overcome by the pain of the strikes, Ned is force to relinquish his hold on Senor Rodez. The former tag champ takes advantage of his freshly won freedom by carting himself to the ropes. Leon rumbles back to his groggy rival, and bulldozes him with a lariat! Only seconds after Ned collapses into rubble, does the fiery Rodez dart to Moneymaker. While Teddy may cowardly throw his arms up in defense, this does little to stop The Grand Rapids Golden Child from shoving him off the apron! COACH He can't do that! He doesn't make enough money to do that! “YEAAAAA!” Though the crowd may be delighted with Leon's manhandling of The Enterprise, Leon's thirst for violence has yet to be quenched. Thus it's with lunatic delight, that he seeks to draw more blood from the slowly rising Blanchard. Yet, Blanchard's groggy state is little more then a clever ruse and he exposes his trickery by capturing the approaching superstar into a roll up! Robinson scores the fall.... ONE TWO Fortunately Leon escapes the pin well before the three count. He rips his body off the mat, eager to continue his thrashing of his detested rival. But Ned delays these plans by subduing him into a front facelock. He drags his rival into The Enterprise corner and swiftly makes the tag with The Billionaire. Theodore enters the bout, with retribution over Leon's cheap shot fresh in his mind. He quickly meets this goal by driving the point of his elbow into the small of Rodez's back. The Smooth One staggers forward, wincing in pain from piercing strike. Sadly, there's little rest for his weary bones as Moneymaker's fist comes crashing towards his face. Leon quickly raises his gloved left hand to block the incoming shot, then stuns Moneymaker with a right cross of his own. A thudding left follows that shot, and a wad of spit is propelled from the Floridian's mouth. Moneymaker is staggered backwards, left dizzy by the two powerful strikes. But he regains enough of his composure to drop to his knees and end Leon's resurgence with a drop toe hold. The attack furthers the pain gripping Leon's bruised face, and the intense agony prevents him from halting Moneymaker's trip to the ropes. When the chortling billion dollar heir returns, his fingers rub imaginary dollars together, before he drops his fistful of dollars onto the battered nose of Loen Rodez. A pin follows.... ONE COLE Come on, Leon! Kick out! TWO But Alix destroys the pinfall by slashing her furry white boots into Moneymaker's face! “YEAAAA!” COACH What the hell is she doing? You'd think she want Leon Rodez to get bodied just as badly as The Enterprise. Shit, if I saw a man stomping out one of my ex-bitches, I'd be on some “pass me that bat, dog, wrap a little chain around that, let me at that trick!” More annoyed with the wad of fur that's stuck in his mouth, then the destruction of his pinfall, Moneymaker chastises Robinson for permitting the interference. Once he's suitably dressed down the official, the tycoon returns his focus to the job of punishing Rodez. He hauls the midwesterner off the mat, then slings him onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry position. Instantly, the fan favorite tries to fight his way free of Moneymaker's clutches. And he does encounter freedom, just not in the way he would've liked! Moneymaker slings him off his shoulders, and drives his neck into the top rope. Searing anguish spreads like a cancer through the throat of Leon Rodez as he crumples into a heap on the canvas. On the outside Jade watches with detached amusement while her brother fights mightily to simply breathe. “FUCK YOU MONEYMAKER! FUCK YOU MONEYMAKER!” the fans scream. COLE Leon told us how badly he was going injure The Enterprise, and it for a while it looked like he was going to cruise to a victory, but the tide has clearly turned for Rodez. Here's hoping he can pull it together. Back on his feet, Leon leans into his rival with a straight left cross that Moneymaker takes in stride, firing off a right hook of his own in response. Unfazed by the punch, Leon returns fire with a forearm. The strike pushes the tycoon back several inches and leaves him stunned for a precious few seconds. But these few seconds are all The Love Machine needs to snag his foe into a tightly held front facelock. He drops backwards and mashes the man's rugged face into the mat with a crowd popping DDT. While his foe desperately tries to remember just what city he's in, Leon lays his arm across his chest for a pin attempt. ONE But Moneymaker kicks out, greatly depressing the audience. On the ring apron, Blanchard watches Moneymaker clutch his injured face, and remarks on how glad he is to be out of the way of Leon's warpath. Unfortunately for him, Leon remains hungry for revenge over the psychological damage that's been inflicted upon his family for the past three months. Thus he makes a beeline to Blanchard, grabs a hold of his thin blond hair, and flings him over the ropes and into the squared circle. While Rodez actions have the blood lusting crowd celebrating, they set his vain rival on the rampage. He pops up and pelts the ex-pornstar with a series of right jabs. Each punch gets a boo from the audience as it lands. Thankfully Rodez is able to break up the lopsided slugfest by rifling a harsh palm strike into his foe's nose. Holding his face with his right arm, Ned groggily stumbles from side to side, in dire need of a tissue to cease the bleeding. Leon happily continues to nourish his need to crush the deviant grappler, and grabs his free arm into a half nelson. From there he raises his arm up, awkwardly tugging The Handsome Hustler into the air, then smashing him back first into the ring floor! Blanchard yelps in distress as a sharp pain spreads throughout his mangled back. “LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE!” Even though the crowd is solidly behind him, Leon decides to tag Alix back into the contest. But she pulls her hand away from his, stunning the audience who were ready to burst into a round of “Alix” chants! COLE WHAT THE HELL? LEON “Kidding!” Ally assures Leon, and he returns to the adorable white male we all know and love. COLE Alix and Leon, able to work together as a team without any problems so far. COACH Uh, this is only the second time Alix has been in the match, while Ned and Moneymaker are making smart, repeated tags. But yeah, they're working “great”. Alix enters the squared circle to a raucous ovation from the capacity crowd. However, there's little time for her to bask in their love, as Blanchard is zeroing in on her with a shoulder tackle. The Hollywood Bad Girl expertly counters his salvo by whipping her limber leg around and slashing him with the undersole of her boot. COLE That's not the soft furry part of that boot by the way, folks. That is the rock hard bottom she just hit Ned with. Ally Cat drags Ned's limp carcass off the canvas. As he's still deeply wounded by Leon's onslaught and her hellish kick, he's incapable of preventing the California cutie from darting to the ropes. He's equally ineffective in preventing her from tumbling through the air, catching hold of his head and driving him downward with a neck breaker. With Ned throughly trounced, Alix attempts a pinfall. The fans count along with Robinson's slapping of the mat. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Blanchard rips his body out of the pinfall, and rushes to his feet, ready to strike down the annoying babe once and for all. But it's Ned who once again incurs great defeat, as Ally launches him into a neutral corner. While his back is devoured by the jagged steel of the ringposts, it's his front that suffers the harshest damage; Alix gallops into the corner and springs into the skies. Her boots explodes onto his beefy chest, and the momentum of the strike propels her into a moonsault. The exact second she lands on her feet, her right foot flicks forward, whipcracking Blanchard's face with a ferocious superkick! Pain splattered about his countenance, Ned teeters from his corner. He's so absorbed by his misery that he fails to observe Alix draping his arm across her's. By the time he's aware that he's in grave danger, the sex kitten is already halfway through the True Life: I just got beat up by a Girl (STO). The mighty impact of the signature hold rocks the ring to it's core, and the crowd is ecstatic with glee. Ally turns to the cheering legion and yells, “"Did you know our ability to choose, or reject, prevents our seeing fundamental truthes?" “...............” “Uh.....smoke weed everyday?” “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” The pothead fans grow even more joyful when Ally decides to execute her favorite trademark strike, the booty bouncing moonsault. But before Alix can delight the pleasure seeking fans with her sumptuous jiggling, a scrawny Asian man, seeking his fifteen minutes of shame, zooms past inattentive arena security and dives into the ring! He orders a stupefied Alix aside, and waits for no dissension on her part before he promptly fires up his flat ass to absolutely no one's delight, Ned and the crowd are gripped by the powerful horror of this disgusting charade. However, the fans' horror is soon replaced by great glee, as Alix executes the moonsault portion of the routine, splashing across Ned's body! While security pours into the ring to drag the male Asian Shakira to a proper holding cell, Ally efforts a pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Ned scrapes his shoulder off the canvas well before the three count. Not wishing to permit Alix (or any erstwhile crowd members) the chance to inflict further damage upon him, he quickly scrambles upright. He fires off a Cro-Cop inspired left high kick, but Alix effortlessly ducks beneath it. As such, Blanchard clumsily careens forward, scarcely able to retain the balance the avoidance robbed him of. He awkwardly twists around to flatten Ally with a lariat. But this effort is snuffed out by Alix leaping into his chest, and coiling her hands around his neck. Gravity pulls the pair downwards, but it's Ned who endures the agony, as Alix inverted lung blower pierces through his chest. On the bright side, her boobs were pressed into his face, so life isn't all bad for ol Neddy Bear. Ally then hooks his leg for a pinfall. The onlookers rise to their feet and count along with each slap of the mat. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Blanchard kicks out right as the ref's hand hits three, generating quite the groan of disgust from the audience. After failing to get the three count on that last pinfall attempt, an annoyed Ally stands upright before her opponent has an opportunity to collect his bearings. She bounds off the ropes, timing her return so that she nears Ned the second he rises to his feet. Unfortunately, Ned leaps upwards into the makings of an hurricanrana. The beach babe is quick to evade the high flying brawler, and tumbles beneath her elevated rival. As Ned lands harmlessly behind her, she pops up off the mat. Ned is unsure as to his plucky opponent is located, and is incredibly shocked when she spins him into an Irish whip. However, he's able to suitably regain his composure in order to flatten her with a shoulder block. Thrilled with his lone offensive strike, he flexes his Adonis like muscles to a wrathful audience. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Blanchard is enraged by blatant disrespect the crowd demeans him with, and directs a terrible scowl towards every audience member he lays his eyes on. Eventually he sets aside his disgust for the Washingtonians and journeys to the ropes, planning to flatten Ally with a body splash on his return. This plan encounters nothing but failure, however, as the Hollywood hellcat stuns him with a majestic kip up dropkick! Ned shudders uncontrollably on the ring floor, in desperate need of tag. It's a need that continues to be unfulfilled as Alix pulls him off the mats and throws towards the ropes. He bounces back like crazed wolf, pouncing upon her with a lariat. But an arm drag yanks him to the ground. Clutching his wounded limb, he uneasily rises to face his foe. But she's nowhere to be found, having made another trip to the ropes. By the time Ned gets read on her, her tanned thighs have tightened him into a spinning head scissors. Silver agony explodes into his head, as he's deposited into the canvas bellow. While the audience applauds her showing, The Hollywood Bad Girl covers the dizzied Blanchard... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Ally's hopes for victory are significantly dulled, once Ned pulls his shoulder off the mat. COLE Blanchard finding a way to stay alive here. The Enterprise may be rich, but they can't afford to go down oh and two. Meanwhile, The Ned Man finds himself under fire from a swarm of rapid fire kicks from Ally Cat. Unable to defend himself from the fast moving blows he's helplessly backed into the corner. She follows him in, providing him with not a moment's rest. After tossing a kiss to a cute girl in the front row, the buxom starlet whips her fellow Californian across the ring. But midway through the move, Blanchard reverses it and shoots her into the turnbuckles. Annoying The Enterprise to no end, she evades a collision with the turnbuckle by pressing her hands onto the top rope and springing backwards. However the agile counter does not come without it's peril, as Blanchard grabs onto her gorgeous legs and throws her forward, making an attempt to imprint her features onto the corner posts. But as she sails through the air, she puts her hands in front of her face to avoid an unfortunate meeting with the ringposts. Unfortunately her left knee wasn't as lucky as her facial features, and twists it disgustingly as her feet plant into the mat. Despite her best efforts to do so, her grimacing face can't mask the intense pain besieging her left leg. Ned senses his rival's afflicted state and stalks the brunette as she clumsily hobbles about the squared circle. He closes in on his victim, huffing and puffing like a psychotic wolf. He wraps Alix's arm around his head, grabs hold of her skimpy shorts, and after admiring her luscious BUTT, foists her into the sky. Without delay, he slams her right leg across his outstretched knee with a knee breaker. While the crowd tries to rally the adored babyface, Blanchard grabs onto her left leg and holds it horizontal to the mat. Smiling with detestable perversion, he eagerly runs his hungry hands down her sexy leg, aroused by the smoothness of her bronze skin. COLE This guy makes me sick! Ever since he came into the OAOAST he's been reprehensible! Once he's finished using her as a pleasure toy, Blanchard drapes his right leg across her left. After taking one last titillating feel of her limb, he drops down and vilely impacts her left leg into the floor. The tormented lass howls into the air, drawing worried gasps from many fans, and putting a pleasured grin on Blanchard's face “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Blanchard elevates Alix's burdened left leg, then swiftly buries an elbow into the sore part of her inner knee. Alix rips her sweat soaked upper body off the mat, howling in chilling agony. The brilliant camera man takes a telling shot of a twelve year old girl weeping while she watches her heroine get brutalized by this barbarian. The girl's reaction worsens when she's forced to watch Ned once again molest Alix's leg for his erotic deviancy. COACH And this is what having Leon Rodez for a partner gets you. Molested! Leon probably don't see nothing wrong with this. It's par for the course where he comes from. If Krista was here, we'd be fishing Ned's body out the Chesapeake Bay. Wishing to inflict even more harm upon the beautifully sculpted sculpted body of Alix Spezia, Ned begins the makings of a figure four leg lock. But during the early stages part, where he has to turn his back to Alix she shocks him by using her good leg to shove him into the turnbuckles nearest her corner. The fans erupt with delight as Blanchard's chiseled frame encounters a NASCAR worthy collision with the ring posts. The dazed brawler staggers out of the corner and takes himself into a back slide pin by Alix! The referee makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Ever the perverted one, The Handsome Hustler turns his kickout into a prime opportunity to get his hands on Alix's luscious Latina BUTT. He squeezes the thick orbs within his sweaty fingers, and moans in rapture over this wondrous pleasure. Before Alix can even attempt to fight off this harassment, he's cruelly shoving her towards the turnbuckles. The alluring lass trips over her clunky boots and impales his shoulder on the callous metal ringpost. The impact is so appalling that even Jade has to join with the onlookers in shuddering at the head on hit. Ned wastes no time in admiring his violent handiwork, though, and scrapes Alix's carcass away from the accident scene. Dragging her along by the curled strands of her hair, Ned brings her into his corner where he applies the tag with Moneymaker. As The Billion Dollar heir enters the ring, Ally shows some fighting spirit, lunging forward desperately. But a front facelock by Moneymaker snaps taut, holding her down. The very basic submission hold cuts savagely into air supply, and she teeters on the brink of passing out. Her toned arms vehemently paw at any method of escape as a look of anguished sorrow is baked onto her agonized features. Panicked cries flood from her mouth, as Moneymaker cheerfully tightens the noose around her neck. COLE Moneymaker seems to have been brought in for the final kill. To get the pleasure of earning a victory over Leon Rodez and a lesbian he despises so much. How selfless of Ned Blanchard. She strains with all her might, working herself into a lather of tears and sweat. The crowd doesn't fail to notice her heroic efforts and they seek to rally her to victory with “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” chants. She thrashes her body from side to side, but can not escape the unsparing hold, as it rends her vulnerable neck into charcoal. On the verge of submission, Ally frantically pumps her fists into Moneymaker's pudgy midsection, praying that they'll secure her some freedom. Despite her lack of strength, the succession of strikes have some effect on Moneymaker. His face contorts with agony, and his blistering arms weaken their grip ever so slightly. Realizing that Moneymaker's defeat is near, Leon begins furiously clapping his hands, causing the capacity crowd to expand the volume of their chants exponentially. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Tired having his stomach thrashed by an unceasing torrent of punches, Moneymaker finally let's Alix go free. However she's incapable of making the much needed tag with Leon, as he drops her to the canvas with a leg trip. With gritted teeth he drags her behind him like a peace of meat as he heads into his corner. Shortly after making the tag with Ned Blanchard, Moneymaker sinks to the canvas, and weaves his victim into a leg lock. Chained by the submission hold, Alix twists within her bonds, and shouts desperately for help from Krista. But her cries are muffled when Ned drops an elbow onto her face. The tycoon releases Ally's mangled leg, which permits Ned to effort another pinfall... ONE TWO But Ally manages the strength needed to lift her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAA!” Ned can hardly believe his ill luck over the failed count, and lashes Robinson with a slew of profanities. Thankfully for the ref's self esteem, Blanchard quickly finds a more productive target for his ire, that of Leon Rodez. Snarling like a mad dog, he surges forward with an elbow aimed towards his archnemesis' face. Leon throws his gloved fist out in defense, but it's a futile effort, and Ned is able to blast him from his perch. He endures an appalling crash into the canvas, but it's the frustration over being bested by Blanchard that burns the harshest. “BLANCHARD SUCKS! BLANCHARD SUCKS!” “Come and get me, future brother in law!” Ned screams through a Cheshire cat grin, Turned into a festering pot of rage and bile, Leon throws himself into the ring to make good on his promise to castrate Blanchard. Thankfully for the narcissist's testicles, Robinson intercepts the stewing warrior. While he pleads with Leon to show some restraint, The Enterprise concocts a slick double team behind his back. The pairing ravage her with closed fists that rend the flesh on her back like tissue paper, before they finally thrust her to ring ropes. When the cables return her to the nefarious villains, they launch her into the skies with a flap jack. Unfortunately, their dominance over her at that exact moment, as the culinary sensation obliterates them with thrilling dropkick! The fans cheer themselves hoarse over the awesome showing by their heroine, and Leon's dour mood improves greatly over watching Alix snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. COACH Ned, Mister Moneymaker! Men down! Men down! Don't let her make the tag to Leon! Too late. The bone weary babe exerts the last droplet of strength left in her body to dive towards her corner and make critical tag with The New Age Love Machine. The fans are vaulted into a state of utter euphoria, and discharge a bounty of cheers for the Michigan born gladiator. COLE Get your guard up Ned, Leon's coming for the kill! Leon leaps over the ropes, and uses the power of his raw fury, to run through the incoming Moneymaker with a roaring elbow! His murderous gaze then sets it's sight upon Blanchard. But before a superkick can dismantle Ned, the muscle stud makes a desperate plea for mercy, entreating Leon not to harm his “future brother in law.” Needless to say this appeal does little to win Leon's kindness and Ned is promptly flattened with the superkick! “LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE!” A furious Moneymaker gallops towards Leon, raising his arms above his head in an axe handle smash. But Leon ducks beneath his swinging blade, then springboards off the ropes behind the billionaire. He clamps his legs onto Moneymaker's shoulders, and before the tycoon can react he lunges forward with a victory roll! Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! But Blanchard rescues his fallen leader by breaking up the count with a running elbow drop. As Leon rises, Ned surges out with a yakuza kick! Rodez eavdes it and quickly locks the errant fighter into a half nelson! Hissing like a lion about to devour it's prey , Leon hurls him backwards with a release half nelson suplex! The terrified grappler tumbles through the air with concussive force. He lands on the mat neck first, momentum carrying him up to his weak knees. Leon spots this, and annihilates his once handsome face with a basement dropkick! This would be an opportune moment for Leon to seek a pin, but his attention is diverted by his sister's presence upon the ring apron. Unlike most managers who act as though they're landing planes on a runway, Jade simply stands atop the ring apron with an aura of frigid disgust. Regardless of her robotic demeanor, Leon is still drawn to her, thinking he has a chance to reason with her. Yet he can't move more then a single inch before Moneymaker school boys him! ONE TWO THREE! But, Leon escapes the pinfall! As the audience salutes his kick out, Leon rises to unleash a bevy of chops into Moneymaker's chest. The tanned flesh jiggles and tears with each shot, leaving an outcropping of red welts in it's place. The pain continues to mount for The Billion Dollar heir when his foe whips him into the corner. Upon colliding with the posts, Moneymaker stumbles towards the center of the ring, failing to notice Rodez zipping past him. He's alerted to the love machine's position in a most fatal way; Leon leaps from the second rope and pummels his head with a vicious mule kick! Moneymaker's face is splattered across the canvas, and the bloody remnants of the strike are visible as Leon rolls him into a pin... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Ned breaks up the fall! The crowd boos his interference lustily but is quickly given something to cheer about, thanks to Alix returning to paste him with forearm shots. Sure strikes from a anorexic wearing huge fur covered wristbands, doesn't exactly hurt, but the fans love it none the less. Ned ends the painless punching by firing her off to the ropes. She rebounds, but he drops down forcing her to hop over him. Moneymaker, now upright and lusting for some form of vengeance, has a standing lariat waiting to put her in her place. But she merely shoves his questing arm down like it belonged to a five year old. He throws up his arms to his face, as if such a comically pathetic defense could save him from the dread he's sown. Ally latches her arms around his waist, then flings him head over heels with the Burning Sensation When You Urinate (sunset flip pile driver)! “YEAAAAAAAA!” A YEAAAAAAA for the crowd is an OWWWWWW for Moneymaker, and he rolls out the ring in dire need of an Aspirin. Ally follows him outside and proceeds to strike blows for lipstick lesbians everywhere, pumelling his frayed body with rage filed stomps. Moneymaker actually fights to his feet past her wave of strikes and begins volleying punches her way. She effortlessly avoids them and sweeps behind him to trap him into a full nelson. However he powers his way out the hold with quick elbow strikes and resumes his maniac assault. Alix destroys his offensive by throwing her foot into his already concussed head. The blow staggers him, and allows Alix to trap him with that full nelson. She kicks his leg out and drives him into the steel ring steps with the You have Died of Dysentery (Full Nelson Face Crusher). I will spare you the flowery details and summarize the impact with one word: OUCH! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” The light in his blue eyes stoked to full fire, Leon goes after Blanchard with wild left hands. Finally detecting an opening in his rapid fire attack, Ned plants a firm shoulder into his midsection. Grabbing him by his singlet, he starts to foist him into the air for an atomic drop. But the ring saavy Rodez counters with a front guillotine choke and drops him back into the canvas! The still standing crowd explodes with an earthshaking roar that could make the deaf hear again. Blanchard rebells wildly against the hold, realizing his "future brother in law" is trying to strangle him to death. Any effort he makes to battle out of his death lock causes Leon to tighten the grip. His face morphing all shades of blue, Ned summons his massive strength and picks Rodez up. He rushes to the corner, slamming Leon backfirst into the posts! COLE Ned is trying with all his might to get free! Terrifying fear grips Ned as he feels his clutch on his air supply get tighter, and his odds of staying conscious turn dimmer. Pushed by a desire to simply survive rather then earn victory, he flips “Silky Smooth” to the canvas with a bridged Northern Lights Suplex! Pieces of horrific agony tear into him as Leon kicks his legs back and pulls him up with the deadly choke still applied! “LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE! LOVE MACHINE!” Those chants come courtesy of a frantic tapping by Ned Blanchard. While the submission is seen by eighteen thousand people, it's not viewed by the one who needs to see it most, Charles Robinson. No, Robinson is distracted by the presence of Jade Rodez, atop the ring apron. With the referee distracted Moneymaker's contingency plan begins in earnest. His hired goons, Los Conquistadors emerge from their position underneath the ring, baseball bats stashed into their black gloved hands. COLE What the hell are Moneymaker's lackeys doing out here? The answer to that question is made abundantly clear when the amigos bash Leon's skull with fatal swipes of their weapons. Leon screams out in raw torment, his hand instantly shooting towards his forehead which is now gushing a torrent of blood. While the crowd goes livid over the deplorable actions, Uno repositions Ned so that he lies with his arm draped over Leon's chest. COLE This is crap! You can't do this! Robinson, turns around and sees the pin, but finds no sight of Los Conquistadors. Unaware of the foul play, he counts the fall.... ONE TWO Alix tries to dive into the ring, but Uno and Dos hold her down! THREE! COLE Damn it! Damn it! Needless to say, the crowd is less then thrilled with that result, and promptly take up the cause of chanting “BULLSHIT”. BUFFER The winners of the match...THE ENTRERPRISE! If this were the UFC, Ned would be on his way to a six month medical suspension, but as this is weak ass fake tumbling....I mean pro wrestling, he simply leans back against the turnbuckle, giggling at the sight of his rival, his pained face drenched in blood. Jade's reaction is perhaps even more despicable. She doesn't seem to give two hoots about Leon's condition, instead retreating up the ramp as though this were a fifteen minute waste of her precious time. Moneymaker is assisted to his feet by the always helpful Los Conquistadors. As he hears his entrance music blaring in the background and sees Leon Rodez being attended to by an apologetic Alix, he can't help but break out into a mammoth laughter. COACH In an era where bigots in this country is trying to get rid of Mexicans, Moneymaker does our land proud by gainfully employing them in his service. COLE First off, Los Conquistadors are from New Mexico. They ARE American! Anyway, once again The Enterprise screws over Leon Rodez. But Leon won't give up. He can't give up.