Tony149

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest on the 6th annual Great Angle Bash is a TRIPLE THREAT match for the HI-YAH World tag team championship! CUE: “Heart-Shaped Box” by Nirvana Synth and Logan dash across the ramp to the ring, recklessly tossing their leather jackets over their shoulders and into the arms of Holly. BUFFER Hailing from Sin City, the first set of challengers are accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD! Wrestling fans, I introduce to you the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” SYNTH COLE You can tell they mean business tonight, Coach. I haven’t seen the Heavenly Rockers look this intense in a long time. COACH Which is going to make their defeat at the hands of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew all the more sweeter. The Heavenly Rockers mamas obviously never told them to be careful what they wish for because they just might get it. And they’re going to get it tonight. Rico and Sweetness will overcome the odds and establish themselves as the premier tag team in the game today. I hope those Chicks Over Dicks are watching because they’re the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew’s next conquest. Logan motions Holly to the corner as Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” hits. BUFFER Now the second set of challengers, led to the ring by MELODY NERDLY…from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS! “YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” In a pop that rivals the Heavenly Rockers, which doesn’t go unnoticed, the Gunslingers jog to the squared circle alongside their always upbeat manager Melody. COACH You know, Cole, if the Gunslingers had a qualified manager they’d actually be tag team champions right now. Instead they go on national TV and embarrass themselves by saying they’re the uncrowned champions. Quit crying and do something. That’s what I’d tell them if I was their manager. COLE They’ll have the opportunity to do something in a matter of moments. I’m interested in seeing how much of their strategy is based on what Melody said Thursday night. Let the Heavenly Rockers destroy the Homewrecking Crew and pick up the 1-2-3. As she pointed out, the Heavenly Rockers have gone on the record as saying the tag titles aren’t as important as hurting Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul. If they stick to their word -- and I doubt why they wouldn’t -- then the Lone Star Gunslingers should walk out of here new HI-YAH tag team champions. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees Because writing entrances are a pain in the ass, the champs are greeted like a pro-life activist at a pro-choice rally and vice versa. BUFFER And their opponents, the reigning and defending HI-YAH tag team champions of the world...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" We temporarily lose our audio due to a lazy writer. Fortunately, unless you’re blind, we still have our HD telecast feed. If looks could kill Logan Mann would be charged with double homicide. He personally invites the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew inside, holding the ropes open for Rico and Lucius, but they brush him off and remain on the ramp. COLE Our apologies for the technical difficulties, ladies and gentlemen. But what a great match-up this should be for the HI-YAH tag team championship. It’s important to note the Outlaw rule is in effect, meaning one partner can’t pin the other. You’ll have to earn the victory. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds, but the match is far from ready to begin. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew reluctant to send a man in with Logan Mann standing there waiting. Space is created and Rico climbs onto the apron, then with a big cheesy grin on his face wishes Lucius the best of luck. LUCIUS “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE What a tough guy Rico is, leaving the dirty work to his partner. Logan scares the hell out of him. COACH He scares the hell out of everybody. Logan isn’t a stable man. He can be your best friend one second and your worst enemy the next. The third legal man in the ring is Baron Windels, who Lucius whispers something to, which draws a wry smile on the Gunslinger’s face. Logan gears up for a fight as Baron and Lucius corner him. Baron nods over and lunges at Logan, just to halt at the last second as Soul’s momentum carries him ahead. Logan side steps and wallops Lucius with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! COACH Why that no good, dirty, rotten son of a…It’s a double cross! Rico seeks vengeance and eats a back elbow to the jaw. Logan brings the King of the Mardi Gras to his feet and smashes him into the turnbuckle. After backing Rico in the corner Logan climbs onto the middle rope and unloads. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Rico falls to his knees and then flat on his face. Posing for the crowd Logan is unaware of Lucius Soul behind him. Luckily Baron is there to watch his back. He rumbles forward and KICKS LOGAN’S HEAD OFF WITH A BIG BOOT!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” MELODY Holly dashes to Logan‘s side. Equally concerned is the manager of the Lone Star Gunslingers, Melody, who apologizes profusely for what happened. COACH See, that’s why the Gunslingers will never be anything more than a couple of boy toys, because their manager is a fickle young woman. Beauty and no brains. Having ducked the big boot, Lucius points out his genius to all inside the ring. Accidental as it was Baron shows little remorse. He spins Lucius around and hammers away, firing him off to the ropes and connects on a FLYING LARIAT! ONE… JOCK Tempers flare after Synth stomps Baron in the back of the head to breakup the pin, as he and Jock exchange words from afar. COLE Just like when a pitcher hits an opposing batter, accidental or not, the other team responds. Synth obviously took exception to Baron’s hit on Logan. COACH Well deserved in my opinion. All that pent up frustration can’t be good for you. The referee escorts Synth back to his corner, and when the cat’s away the mice come out to play. Lucius delivers a LOW BLOW on Baron and tags out, paving the way for Rico to stomp a mudhole in Logan and walk it dry! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH This is what we came to see, Mikey. Rico vs. Logan and the King of the Mardi Gras is kickin’ ass! COLE Yeah, while his opponent is already down. Rico whips Logan into the ropes and levels him with a clubbing double sledgehammer to the heart! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Scoop and a slam, followed by Rico’s stroking of his mustache and the big leg! COACH Porno 'Stache Legdrop! ONE… TWO… And Logan kicks out again. Rather than accept the fact he made a shitty/lazy cover Rico complains about the count. After giving the poor official an earful Rico places Logan in a gut wrench, but just as he’s about to flip him over JOCK MULLIGAN of the Lone Star Gunslingers, now the legal man, tells him to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! ONE… TWO… THREE! MELODY NO!! Save by Lucius. MELODY Jock sends Rico in for the ride and tosses him overhead courtesy of a back body drop. Irish whip to the buckle, the action so fast and furious no one picks up on the BLIND TAG by the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Rico shoots out towards the center of the ring and into the clutches of a running side headlock, but the King of the Mardi Gras muscles Jock up in a back suplex as Lucius enters and snaps the Texas Twister over with a swinging neck breaker! COLE Hair-raising Experience beautifully executed. This could do it. The champions on the verge of an upset. And I’d call it an upset because Triple Threat matches are never kind to the incumbent. ONE… TWO… “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” And only two, as a SYNTH SECOND ROPE FLYING ELBOW breaks up the pin! ONE… TWO… Rico RAKES the eyes and puts the boots to Synth until Lucius is able to return to his feet. Now at full strength the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew whip Synth into the ropes, whiffing on a double clothesline that sends Rico tumbling out to the floor after Logan pulls the top rope. Mann heads to the top and drills de Janeiro with a patented double axe handle smash, while Soul gets decked by a flying cross body inside! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Irish whip to the buckle is reversed, and Soul capitalizes by hitting Synth with the SOUL BROTHER SPLASH and then THE POUNCE! COACH Who knew Synth could fly across the ring? Ha! Logan is so busy dealing with Rico he pays no attention to what’s going on in the ring, leaving Baron Windels as the only person who can breakup the pin. ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO! MELODY PLACES SYNTH’S FOOT ON THE ROPES! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” COACH That bitch! COLE Quick thinking on the part of Melody Nerdly. She knew Baron wasn’t going to get there in time so she took matters into her own hands. And you said she had no brains. Give me a break. Soul’s protest fall on deaf ears as the referee didn’t see Melody do anything illegal. While all that’s going on Baron drags Jock back to their corner. Lucius scoops Synth up for a suplex, but the Synthmeister floats over and delivers a wild DDT! “YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Percussion! He got it out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… * JUDO CHOP * Baron’s strike to the back of the neck leaves Synth in a world of hurt. He tosses him outside and seats Lucius on the top rope for a superplex. But Logan Mann wants a word with the Gunslinger first, yanking him off the second turnbuckle after whipping Rico into the guardrail. LOGAN BARON COLE I don’t think Logan appreciated the matter in which Baron disposed of Synth. It was the first real physical contact either team has had with each other all night. You had a couple of minor situations earlier in the night but that’s it. Logan and Baron have a heated but rather calm argument until Logan wags his finger in Baron’s face. Windels swats it away and bumps his chest into Mann’s. Logan throws his hands in the air to signal he’s had enough of this conversation, only to turn right around and... * GASP * …KICK, WHAM, DDT! COLE What the hell?! No, damnit! Melody begins to sob like Paris Hilton in a police cruiser, shaking uncontrollably as Logan SPITS on Baron. Like the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home, Holly too is left shaking her head. She’s grabbed by the wrist and whisked backstage by Logan, a groggy Synth tailing behind. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH I can’t believe what I’m hearing. The fans are actually booing the Heavenly Rockers. COLE And I don’t blame them one bit. Logan’s behavior here tonight was deplorable. Rico de Janeiro slides in and positions Baron for a piledriver, but not just any piledriver…a SPIKE PILEDRIVER as Lucius completes the deed from the top! COLE Now that’ll do it. ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and STILL HI-YAH tag team champions of the world...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Soul and de Janeiro celebrate another successful title defense with a hearty high-five, much to the dislike of the sold out crowd. COLE Huge victory for the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. They now earn the right to represent HI-YAH in the title unification match against whoever the OAOAST tag team champions are. THE SUMMER'S HOTTEST EVENT RETURNS... AUGUST 26, 2007 LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELLITE PROVIDER TO ORDER NOW!

*crowd goes nuts* COLE And listen to the people, it's time for the Heartland title to be decided, as Thunderkid gets one more shot to bring the belt home, and this time, he won't have to worry about any outside interference! Let's go to Michael Buffer! God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid gets a massive pop as he makes his way through the curtains. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger! He weighs in at 250 pounds, and hails from Green Bay, Wisconsin! He is himself a former OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK climbs into the ring, and poses on the buckles, as the crowd continues to roar. COLE And Coach, this has been one of the hottest rivalries in the business over the past couple months! COACH No doubt, Cole, ever since Felix took the belt to WDW, TK has been on a mission to bring it back home, and it's led to some great matches! TK stands in his corner with his hands on his hips, and waits. Je t'adore, je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls hits, and Felix Strutter walks out, hit hard with boos. BUFFER His opponent...from Thunder Bay, Ontario, weighing in at 218 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RR!!!!! COLE And Felix Strutter has registered three victories over Thunderkid in that span, all under dubious circumstances, but there'll be none of that tonight! Strutter slides in, drops his belt, and charges TK, but TK sees him coming and sidesteps him, then hammers him in the corner! *DING DING DING* COLE And here we go! TK drills Strutter with right hands, then whips him across and follows him in with a corner clothesline! TK stands over Strutter for a second, then grabs his head and rams it into the buckles as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Strutter falls forward into TK, who executes a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks up Strutter and tosses him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him out. COACH And they're taking it to the outside early! TK delivers right hands, then attempts an Irish whip. However, Strutter reverses, sending TK into the steel steps! COLE And TK meets the steel steps! Strutter plays to the crowd, then goes over and grabs a chair. TK gets to his feet leaning against the ringpost, as Strutter charges, but TK sticks his foot up, sending the chair back into Strutter's face! COACH Uh-oh! COLE And the chair kicked right back into the face of the champion! TK rolls Strutter back into the ring, then shoves the chair inside before rolling back in. TK grabs the chair, and rams it into the midsection of Strutter, then drops it, backs into the ropes, and executes a swinging neckbreaker! COLE Right down onto the chair! TK covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK gets to his feet and stomps away at Strutter, eventually forcing him under the bottom rope. COLE And it's been all TK in the early going of this one! TK measures Strutter, and clotheslines him over the guardrail! COACH And they're taking it into the crowd, Cole! TK scoops up Strutter, and sets up a suplex! However, Strutter blocks, then executes one of his own! COLE Strutter dodging a bullet right there, as TK's back meets the concrete! Strutter picks up TK, and tosses him back over the guardrail, then grabs the ringbell! COACH I think someone's bell is about to be rung! Strutter stalks TK around the ring, then when he turns around, blasts him across the forehead with the bell! TK falls back onto the announcers' table, and Strutter slides into the ring. COLE And now Strutter just going to catch a breather here... Strutter starts to climb the buckle. COACH I don't think so, Cole! COLE What is this? Strutter gets one foot on the top, then stops to play to the crowd. He then climbs the rest of the way up, and flattens TK with a SUPERFLY SPLASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~! COLE RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! Strutter and TK lay on the floor, as the crowd chants. HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! Strutter slowly gets to his feet, and stomps away at TK. He then picks him up, and carries him around the ring, stopping to grab a steel chair. Strutter swings the chair, drilling TK right on top of the head! TK falls down, and rolls over in the aisleway. COLE Fighting in the aisle now, as TK looks to be busted open! COACH Yes, he is! Strutter follows, and drags him over to the technical area of the arena. He scoops TK up, and bodyslams him through a folding table! COLE And TK introduced to another table! Strutter then walks backstage. COACH Is Felix quitting, what's the deal? COLE I don't think so... Strutter comes back through the curtains, dragging a ladder behind him! COLE That's what he's doing! Strutter holds the ladder overhead with both hands, then carries it in front of him, but TK is up, and hits the ladder with the steel chair, knocking it on top of Strutter! COLE And TK still with fight left! TK raises the chair up, and slams it twice into the ladder! COLE Oh man, Felix under that ladder that is being struck by the chair! TK backs up in the aisle, then charges and attempts an elbowdrop with the chair, but Felix rolls out from underneath, and TK lands hard on the ladder! COLE Nobody home, and TK crashing into the ladder! Strutter slowly gets to his feet, and picks up TK, then tosses him into the crowd. COLE And back into the crowd! Strutter drags TK up the steps and into the concession area, where security guards struggle to hold fans back. Strutter stomps away at TK, then makes his way over to the drink stand and grabs a drink. TK crawls over to a cotton candy vendor and grabs a cone of it, and as Strutter drinks his drink, TK reaches up and rakes his eyes with the cotton candy, as Felix acts as if someone had just poured acid into his eye. COACH TK with the deadly cotton candy! TK slowly gets to his feet, and hammers away on Strutter. However, Strutter delivers a knee to the midsection, then tosses TK's head through a popcorn machine! COLE Oh NO! TK's head right through that glass! Strutter taunts the fans in the concession area, then grabs a pretzel and takes a big bite out of it, before tossing it back at the person behind the counter. He then drags TK back towards the ring. COLE And now they're headed back! Strutter walks back down the steps, and tosses TK over the guardrail, then back into the ring. He immediately covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE TK's not done yet! Strutter questions the count of the referee, then holds his hands out as if to say "that's alright." Strutter then reaches into his kneepad, and pulls out a pair of handcuffs! COACH Uh-oh... COLE And now Felix with handcuffs! Come on! Felix turns TK over, and cuffs him behind his back! COLE And TK has no use of his arms here! Strutter picks up TK, and executes a scoop slam, then a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... TK manages to escape! COLE But even that doesn't deter TK! Strutter picks up TK and drags him into a corner, then hammers away on him with punches and kicks. Strutter backs up and plays to the crowd, only to have TK deliver a kick RIGHT TO THE NUTS~! COACH He's still got his legs, though! TK slowly comes out of the corner, and executes a legdrop on the fallen Strutter! He rolls up to his knees, then drops down and begins to bite Strutter! COLE As well as his teeth! TK biting away at the forehead of the champ! Strutter rolls into a corner, as TK struggles to his feet. Strutter hops to the second rope, and leaps at TK, who ducks, but Strutter rolls on the mat and grabs the chair, then jams it into TK's midsection, and brings it across his back! COLE Well, TK able to somehow mount an attack, but it was only temporary! Strutter rises the chair overhead, as TK gets to his knees, and CRACKS him over the head with it! COACH Oh, that's it! Cover... 1... 2... NO! TK gets out! COLE NO! That's not it! Strutter tosses the chair to the mat, then retreats to the outside. He walks down the aisle, and grabs the ladder, dragging it to the ring. COACH What could Felix be planning now? COLE Who knows. Strutter slides the ladder into the ring, then rolls inside himself. He picks up the ladder, and jams it into the midsection of TK! He then sets the ladder up in the corner, and starts to climb the top rope, with TK's feet facing the corner in which he is climbing. Strutter gets on the second step from the top, and rides the ladder down...but TK sticks his feet up and rams them into the ladder, and the impact propels Strutter over the ladder and sends him in a flip onto the mat! COLE And Felix took quite a fall right there! TK rolls over to the ropes, when a police officer runs to the ring. COACH Look at this, there's a cop coming! The cop goes through his pocket, and pulls out a key, which he uses to free TK from the handcuffs! COLE And the officer has released TK from his handcuffs! This could spell trouble for Felix Strutter! Both men continue to lay on the mat, then Strutter starts crawling towards the chair, but when he grabs it, TK puts his foot down on it. Strutter takes a wide-eyed look up at a smiling TK. COLE As I said, this COULD spell trouble for Felix Strutter! Strutter slowly gets to his feet, and is met with a big right hand from TK! TK hammers away at Strutter in a corner, then brings him out and executes a belly-to-belly! COLE And Thunderkid on fire here! TK grabs the chair, and waits for Strutter to get up, then slams it across his head! COLE What a chairshot! And now it's Strutter who's been lacerated! TK signals for the finish. COACH Looks like TK's ready to bring it home! TK picks up Strutter, hooks him, and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COLE There it is! 1... 2... 3...NO! TK lifts the shoulder of Strutter off the mat, then sarcastically puts his hands on top of his head. COLE And now TK not done! TK lays the chair in midring, then hooks Strutter from behind...dropping him with a SCORPION DEATHDROP~!!!!!11111 COLE The Scorpion Deathdrop! How long has it been since we've seen that? 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE YES!!! TK has done it! BUFFER The winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE TK has brought the Heartland title back to the OAOAST! What a terrific match! TK is helped up by the official, then handed the belt, which he walks over to a corner with, then climbs to the second rope and raises in the air as the crowd cheers. COLE You nailed it, Coach, this has been a classic feud, and we were not disappointed by the match it produced! Give Felix Strutter credit, he put up a hell of a fight, but it's TK bringing the belt home! Felix is just coming to, as TK circles the corners, then exits the ring and slaps hands with the fans. COLE But you have to wonder with Felix Strutter and WDW, will they let this one go lightly?

BUFFER The following six-person, intergender tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Money Talks" by AC/DC rocks through the Verizon Center as a sea of bodies emerge onto the patriotic stage. Leading the way come Mackenzie DeCenzo and the solemn-as-ever Jade Rodez, Mackenzie making all the grand gestures to flaunt the entrance of the first member of the team, Christian Wright. The Natural stops for a moment, setting down his briefcase in order to straighten out his tie and jacket before continuing on his way with Mackenzie. Close behind is Simon Singleton, lugging along his 'Siclopse' video camera and tripod and beaming from ear to ear for some reason, in spite of the boos and insults thrown his way from below. And bringing up the rear comes the muscle, Christopher Patrick Allen, carrying his 6-Man Tag Team Title belt in his hand. BUFFER One the way to the ring are team number one, representing THE ENTERPRISE! Accompanied to the ring by The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, MACKENZIE DECENZO... and, Ms. JADE RODEZ. (crowd boos) First, they comprise two of the three thirds of the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions! From 'The Collection Agency', he weighs two hundred, eighty pounds... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK AAAALLLEEEEEENN!! His partner, hailing from Beverly Hills, California. Two hundred, twenty five pounds... this is "THE VIDEO VOYEUR", one half of the Beverly Hills Blonds, SIMON SSSIIIIIIINNGGLLEEETTOOOONN!! And, rounding out the team. Now residing in Washington, DC... *cheap pop* BUFFER ...but, originally from Raleigh, North Carolina... *cheap heel heat!* BUFFER ...he is The Financial Analyst for The Enterprise. Weighing in at 8 1/3 bars of gold! He is "THE NATURAL"... CHRISTIAN... WWWRRRRIIIIIIIGGHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Enterprise trio have made their way into the ring by now, watched on by the Siclopse which takes pride of place on the rampway. COLE Two-thirds of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions, conveniently enough missing the third member of their team for tonight. This match was originally scheduled to be Krista Isadora Duncan and D*LUX challenging for the titles against The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA. However, some political 'manouevering' from Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker got the line-up changed a couple of weeks ago, so this will be a non-title match. But, plenty of history to this match nonetheless. Especially after what we saw just last week... We cut back to live action, directly to Jade Rodez, who stares down the aisle with an almost vacant expression. COLE And, I still cannot believe the temerity of that young girl. To exploit what happened to her two weeks ago with her brother in that way was downright wrong. Whatever sympathy she held before, she really threw back in everyone's faces. COACH Now, hold up a second. I've done my job as a broadcast journalist, instead of just jumping to conclusions and I actually talked to Mr. Moneymaker earlier today. He told me that there's no suggestion that Jade was 'faking' anything on Thursday night. Jade was checked out by Mr. Moneymaker's personal doctor that night and he diagnosed a stress-related mental condition. The moment Jade saw that hockey stick coming at her, she had a flashback to that dreadful moment her own brother tried to decapitate her with a chair on live TV, she blacked out, fainted. She's in a very fragile condition. So, ease up cous'. COLE Obviously, she's not in a bad enough condition to miss being at ringside tonight. COACH It's what you sappy commentators call 'heart' Mikey. And she's got PLENTY of it. COLE Yeah, I think I overheard Ned saying something along those lines about her the other day. As the song you're most likely to hear if you turn your radio on right now, even if it's tuned to some sort of classical music station or something, "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 plays, the fans erupt as D*LUX make their way out onto the stage. Shayne finds the time to salute the mass of D*LUX fans on his side of the stage, Tyler very much focused on the ring and on the duo's former leader Jade Rodez. The two, clad in special, red white and blue died denim jeans (well, I guess they're blue to start with. But, you get the point) try to fire each other up as they walk to the ring. They don't make it far though, before "Nighttime" by Britt Black hits. COLE Nevermind Jade, you might want to put Mackenzie on the watchlist as far as fainting goes when this next competitor comes out! So to speak. Why one half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions has singles theme music is anyone's guess. But she does and here she comes, Krista Isadora Dunca, to a BOOMING response from the crowd! Krista's appearance certainly seems to perk up D*LUX who stop and applaud their partner as a golden pyro wall explodes across the length of the stage. After it evaporates, Krista emerges and downs a swig of hard liquor. Upon finishing, she slams the empty bottle onto the stage and walks towards the ring. BUFFER And, the opponents! First, total combined weight, three hundred eighty two pounds... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! And their tag-team partner. Hailing from Los Angeles, California. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! The Queen Of Sting! The Devil In It's Most Beautiful Form! The Ambassador of Kick Your Ass-ador! She is "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" D*LUX glide past the Siclopse in their way and enter the ring, the referee who drew the short straw for this one Mike Chioda pleading with them to wait for the bell as they come in with fists clenched. Behind them, Krista doesn't glide. She doesn't so much as take a step either side. Krista just walks through the Siclopse as if it weren't there. As the tripod goes flying to the ramp and then off of it to the arena floor for good measure, Simon holds his head in his hands. The Enterprise quickly bail out with Krista on the warpath, Simon bemoaning the fact he forgot to keep up his insurance payments as he rushes over to where his Siclopse lies. COACH It's a good job Krista's familiar enough with her attorney to have him on speed-dial, because that's a lawsuit right there! COLE Actually, Krista's lawyer happens to be female. COACH HAHA! Yeah, good one! A female lawyer? What next, a female politician!? A male chef? Come on Michael, you can't kid a kidder, you can't ball a balla, I ain't falling for that line! As The Enterprise discuss strategy on the outside, the strategy in the ring is clear. Krista wants to start, D*LUX ain't gonna argue. So out to the apron they go, leaving Miss California to cordially invite one of her opponents to "collect the two testicles you have between you and get in the ring!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" Eventually, dragging himself away from the wreckage of his camera, Simon Singleton collects those testicles (or, perhaps not) and slides into the ring ready to start the match... ...before immediately ducking his head through the ropes as Krista approaches, not ready to start the match. Referee Chioda does his job and moves the volatile Miss Duncan back. Which is the opportunity for Simon to duck back in and cheapshot Krista with a forearm to the face! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And the first cheapshot of the match comes with the clock at 0:00. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and already Krista is on the backfoot, to the amusement of all in the Enterprise camp. Except Jade I guess, who shows no emotion either way. With Krista checking her face is in tact Simon points to his temple, to show the world he has the brains. Simon then takes KID by the arm and looks to send her into the ropes with an irish whip. A reversal of fortunes sends Singleton in the ropes though. Up and over goes Krista with the leapfrog and as the Video Voyeur puts on the brakes to avoid a collision with Tyler Bryant who has moved down the apron, he wheels around... ...inverted atomic drop... *SMACK!* ...and a Superkick, Simon left sprawled out into the centre of the ring after experiencing Krista's Great California Adventure! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Early tag is made, Krista bringing in "Showtime" Shayne. It soon becomes apparant why Krista got out so quickly as she pulls her compact mirror out and checks her features once she's on the apron. Meanwhile, Shayne goes running down the apron and scales the turnbuckles. Still shaken up from the Superkick, up to his feet staggers Simon. Around staggers Simon. And into a big Flying Crossbody staggers Simon... 1... 2... No. Still staggering, a clothesline might not have been the best move for Simon to attempt just yet. His wild attempt is ducked and countered by Shayne, catching and wringing out the arm before making the tag to Tyler Bryant! Up top heads Tyler, ignoring the view down Krista's red Obey™ tank top just long enough to drop the double sledge across Simon's out-stretched arm. COLE D*LUX, the tag team specialists. And although The Enterprise are a unit, it's fair to say this trio is somewhat of a 'makeshift' unit. COACH All motivated by the same thing though, money. COLE Well, D*LUX and Krista are all motivated by the same thing as well, that being revenge. Taking over where his partner left off, Tyler wrings out the arm. A blind tag is made and Shayne is now legal again, which prompts Christian to start his own five count to show the referee how it should be done. His five count of course doesn't matter and the boybanders play to the referee's rules as Tyler backs Simon into the ropes, armdragging him out. As Simon rolls through to his feet, he then walks right into the now legal member of D*LUX, as Tyler slingshots his own partner into the ring, Shayne catching the arm and bringing Singleton over with a (very) modified armdrag! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shayne and Tyler high-five, Tyler offering the same opportunity to Krista. Showing her superior smarts, KID distracts the youthful boybander by pointing behind him. And by the time he's realised that Krista was pointing at nothing more than a pudgy woman in a Zack Malibu shirt, which makes her one of many and therefore nothing special, Krista has already waltzed down the apron admiring the craft and manufacture of the ring-ropes. COACH Son, you just got straight burned. Get used to it. No high-fives are being exchanged in the ring meanwhile, as Singleton has managed to turn the tide of the match, eye-raking his way out of another arm-wringer. Quickly Simon gets across to his corner, making the tag to a fresh man, Christian Wright. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wright comes in full of confidence and charges... ...into an armdrag. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH C'mon, what is this Mexico? Enough with the armdrags already. Hanging onto the arm, Shayne points to Krista and asks if the crowd want to see Miss California back in the match. Predictably, the result is unanimous. Krista accepts the tag and CW's eyes bug open in fear as his tormentor for so many years steps in, ignoring the armwork D*LUX have been using and just punting Wright in the ribs with a white Addias snow boot. COLE Well here we go. If there's one consolation for Christian Wright, it's that Krista has only had three days to stew over what happened on HeldDOWN~! Not much of a consolation, but it's something I guess. Wright retreats from Krista and begs for forgiveness for so many sins. Does he not realise he's facing Krista Isadora Duncan? Evidently not. Krista follows CW into a neutral corner and stomps him in the chest. Again. Again. Again and again and again with no end in sight until Singleton comes down the apron to complain, Krista breaking away to punch The Video Voyeur between the eyes! Krista then returns to The Natural, scaling the middle rope in front of her hapless opponent. Faced with a face-full of crotch, Wright covers his eyes with his hands and prays not for a repeat of his embarrassment from AngleMania, as Krista balls up the fist... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" ...wait for it... "TEN!" "ELEVEN!" "TWELVE!" "THIRTEEN!" COLE Uhm... Krista... "FOURTEEN!" "FIFTEEN!" COLE Krista, never one for wrestling conventions... "SIXTEEN!" "SEVENTEEN!" COACH C'mon ref, that's gotta be five seconds by now! COLE Well, duh. "EIGHTEEN!" "NINETEEN!" "TWENTY!" "TWENTY-ONE!" Like any good gambler, Krista stops on twenty-one. After all, you don't say "Hit me." after twenty-one. To be fair, Christian wasn't saying "Hit me." at all, but that really not important. With Wright seeing stars, the one large star in front of him manoeuveres on the ropes, making her way around onto his shoulders. Wright tries to walk out of the corner carrying Krista in the electric chair, which he soon regrets as KID tumbles forward into a Victory Roll... 1... 2... No! COACH Now, is it a 'victory roll' if it doesn't get the victory? Shouldn't it just be called a 'roll'? Both CW and KID roll out to their feet. Krista is a step ahead and whips around, driving the flat of her boot into Christian's gut with a rolling sole BUTT. A quick uppercut under the chin rocks Wright's equilibrium. And with The Natural a sitting duck, off the ropes comes Krista, whipping her far leg around into Wright's face with a Spinning Wheel Kick! COLE Combination of moves from Krista. So quick in the ring. COACH It's all like a song and dance to her, she's not a real wrestler the likes of Christian. COLE She's sure dealing with the 'real wrestler' pretty well at the moment. Heading out of the ring, Krista keeps a close eye on the rest of The Enterprise as she heads up to the third floor. As KID perches on the top turnbuckle, Mackenzie watches on intently... a little too intently, perhaps... certainly getting a great view from ringside. Krista seems to notice it and waggles her derriere quickly, Mackie's eyes widening as Krista now soars from the top. As the fitness queen soars towards him, Christian instinctively ducks his head to duck whatever attack she had in mind. However, Krista is able to adjust in mid-air, carrying herself over CW and taking him down with a big Sunset Flip... 1... 2... No! COLE I'm a little surprised Krista is going for the win so early. Usually, she likes to drag things out and slap her opposition around a little bit. Especially when that opponent happens to be Christian Wright. This time, Wright manages to beat Krista to her feet and gets the jump with a knee buried into Krista's well-defined abs. Wright looks relieved simply not to be on the end of the abuse for once. He's soon brought back to the real world by a punch to the gut from Krista, forcing him into connecting with another couple of knee strikes. Turning to the outside, CW then gives a heads up and sends Krista into the ropes for a trip... ...which doesn't come, Mackenzie missing her cue and Krista able to come back off the ropes with a Flying Forearm! COLE The Enterprise, not in the game yet. Popping back to her feet, the always considerate KID rewards Mackenzie for her efforts with a thank you. A thank you accompanied by a blown kiss and a wink. Mackenzie just about stays on her jellied legs, but Krista's taunts come to an end as she notices Jade standing to Mackie's side. Suddenly Krista doesn't seem to know what to think or do, especially after the sucker job she was on the end of three nights ago. The distraction caused by all this awkwardness allows Christian to sneak back into the picture, kneeing Krista in the back, sending her forward into a clubbing blow from CPA from the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CPA is warned about his conduct by the referee, as Wright tags out to Simon Singleton. A little pertubed still, Wright tells his fellow Finance Expert to keep her mind in the game next time as he leaves. Singleton takes over on Krista with a succession of clubbing shots to the back. Referee Chioda wants him out of the corner, so he obliges, snap suplexing Krista and floating over with the cover... 1... 2... No! Sitting Krista up, Singleton drives his knee into the spine. A second time. And a third, before locking on a rear chinlock to the crowd's destain. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" D*LUX get the crowd chanting in support of their partner, as if they needed any encouragement to support Miss California. COACH You know, you keep casting these aspersions on poor Mackenzie about this supposed 'curiosity' around Alix and Krista. What about D*LUX? Why don't you mention the obvious crush they've got on Krista? COLE What about Ned's lusting after Jade? Let's talk about that... COACH Just call the action Cole! As Krista starts to show some signs of life, Simon breaks the hold and drives the point of his elbow into the crown of Krista's skull! Turning to the corner, the vulgar Video Voyeur then hawks a loogie in D*LUX's direction which draws the two boybanders into the ring. Referee Chioda keeps them at bay, showing amazing strength for a mere ref. Behind his back The Enterprise make an illegal switch, but not before doubling up on Krista, Simon delivering a hard kick to Krista's chest as CW does the same to her spine, sandwiching KID in between the two boots. The wind knocked out of her lungs, Krista slumps over and gets pinned down by Wright, who yells for the referee to pay attention... 1... 2... No! Wright pulls the World Tag Team Champion to her feet, pulling her in by the arm into a short knee strike. A second time Krista is dragged into the knee. And a third time, this time the set-up for CW to apply the time-tested Abdominal Stretch. COLE If anyone in the OAOAST has the abs to withstand this move, it may be Krista Isadora Duncan. The referee checks to see if Krista wants to give it up. Of course she doesn't, but that doesn't bother The Natural, who uses the referee's positioning to his advantage and reaches back, locking hands with Singleton for some extra leverage! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Predictably, D*LUX jump in to complain. Again Mike Chioda's first reaction is to keep the boybanders from getting in the ring and that allows CW and Singleton to milk the illegal assist on the hold for a few extra seconds, with Krista curses a blue streak at her partners for entering the ring. That's gratitude for ya! Eventually D*LUX take the hint and leave the ring and sure enough, Singleton breaks contact with Wright just as the referee turns around, showing what he's learnt from his years of tag team wrestling. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT SILENCE!! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" In his fury at the chant, Wright releases the hold and throws Krista to the ground as he goes over to the ropes, chastising the Washington crowd. COACH You know, you'd think they'd be a little more respectful in Christian's hometown. COLE Adopted hometown. COACH Exactly! I mean, if Washington doesn't appreciate financially success stories like The Enterprise then what is the world coming to? After dispensing a few harsh and very convoluted words to the fans Wright finally return to the action. Unfortunately, by now, Krista is on her feet. And as Wright walks in, Krista shows her strength in scooping the two hundred, twenty five pounder up... ...and collapsing, unable to hold CW with a bad back, landing with The Natural pressed on top of her... 1... 2... Kickout! TYLER C'MON KRISTA! SHAYNE KRISTA! KRISTA! "KRI - STA!" "KRI - STA!" "KRI - STA!" "KRI - STA!" With the fans attempting to make themselves the proverbial sixth man (it's sixth, right? I don't know, US sports suck), Wright decides that The Enterprise need to put Krista down and fast. Which is where CPA comes in. The Directory Of Security, yet to be involved in the match, accepts the tag from Wright and stalks towards Krista, who is trying to crawl to her corner with her bad back weighing her down. COACH Now things are gonna get interesting! COLE CPA, the former professional boxer. It's amazing what secret lives these characters lead. Who would have ever thought, until we needed a boxing match of course, that one of our athletes just happened to be a former professional boxer! CPA places his foot on Krista's back and delights in watching her squirm around like a bug, or possibly a small kitten because that would be more evil, trying desperately to get away. An elbow drop to the back of the head puts pay to that though. As Krista's superstar looks get smushed into the canvas, D*LUX cringe, watching on with concern as CPA makes the lateral press... 1... 2... ...SAVE, by both of D*LUX, both very eager to come to their partner's rescue. COACH Ain't that adorable. Man, if these two pathetic ballad-boys get crushin' on chicks that easy, it's no wonder Jade was so desperate to join up with a group of real men like The Enterprise! With a handful of Krista's blond locks, CPA starts to drag the anti-socialite to her feet. Ever gutsy, Krista responds by landing some bodyshots. She's no Ricky Hatton though and far from her bodyshots actually calling for the referee to stop the match, they seem to just amuse her opponent. *THUD!* A HARD forearm over the back from CPA cuts Krista off. Scoop and a slam follows from the bigman, Krista's back arching on impact. COLE No finesse from CPA, the bruiser of The Enterprise. COACH Just goes to show you Mikey, substance over style. And who better to use as an example than the most style obsessed person on the roster, 'K.I.D'. If she hit a scoop slam like that she'd probably break out into the Macarena. COLE If it was 1999 maybe. CPA continues to stalk CPA, as again the Washington crowd are whipped up in support of Krissy (haven't used that one yet!) by the dulset tones of D*LUX. Happy with the way things are going, Singleton and Wright just mock D*LUX from their corner, playing the part of the fans with some very sarcastic clapping. Even Mackenzie gets in on the act, having just woken from some sort of a daydream. No speculation on what it was about of course, but let's just say she's watching the action VERY closely. Tag is made by CPA and Simon Singleton re-enters as the legal man, irish-whipping Krista into one of the neutral corners and assessing her through his handmade handscreen. Singleton then charges, looking to crush Krista with an avalanche... ...and eats boot! "YEEEAAAHHH!" Quickly shaking off the cobwebs, Simon tries again... ...and again eats boot! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" With Mackenzie hollering at Simon that this is now going to be a "director's cut", the pugnatious Video Voyeur goes running in again. This time Krista has recovered enough to lift herself up on the turnbuckles, wrapping her legs around Simon's neck, to his shock and possible pleasure. Every moment of pleasure must be off-set with one of pain though. And Krista is always on hand to make sure of that, as she pushes off the turnbuckle and whips herself around, bringing Simon out of the corner with a Hurricanrana! Singleton flips through the air and lands hard on his tailbone, face etched with pain as hope rises for the tag on Krista's side! COLE This is Krista's chance here, but can she make the tag to one of her fresh team-mates? COACH And will she WANT to? Both Tyler and Shayne are up on the bottom rope, hands extended for the tag. Technically you can't make a legal tag when you're on the rope. But that rule hasn't been enforced in about twenty years so what the hell. It's a neat visual, okay. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" Despite Krista's hero(ine)ics, it's Singleton who makes the tag first, bringing in Christian Wright. Krista glances up and sees how close she is to her corner, making a dramatic dive for the tag... ...NO! Rushing into the ring, Christian manages to grab Krista's ankle just as she leapt and just about pulls her out of D*LUX's reach! Both Shayne and Tyler are distraught as Wright continues to hold onto the ankle and drags Krista into the centre of the ring. Folding up the legs, he tries for the Texas Cloverleaf. As he bends down to turn the move though, a right hand catches him. Another. And a third from Krista, trying to fight out of this precarious position. With her punches seemingly doing little to fight Wright off though, she resorts to some more 'desperate' measures though, as she runs her tongue across her veluptuous red lips and blows The Natural a kiss!! Understandably shocked, CW loses his train of thought, long enough for Krista to untangle her legs and drive her feet into Wright's groin! The force of the shot knocks Wright's feet out from underneath him and he falls face-first into Krista's bent knees for good measure, the combined effects leaving Christian helpless to prevent... ...THE TAG!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HERE. COMES. ...uhm, BOTH of D*LUX!? Shayne and Tyler each accept the tag and come in as seperates houses of fire, whipping up the crowd behind them. The boyband stop suddenly when they realise they've both come in and get into a brief spat over who exactly is the one who got the tag. That arguement stops as soon as CPA comes charging into the ring though, Shayne and Tyler pushing each other out of harm's way and causing Allen to steamroller right into the turnbuckles behind them! TYLER YEAH-UH! Staggering out of the corner, CPA walks right into a double boot from D*LUX. The former multi-time HI-YAH Tag Team Champions then combine, to spike CPA on his head with a Double DDT! COLE The tag-team specialists are taking over here at The Great Angle Bash! COACH Come on! One in, two out ref! It's hardly rocket science! Attempting to come to the rescue, Simon Singleton makes a similiarly bold charge across the ring. And he has similiar success, as Tyler backdrops him up and over the top, The Video Voyeur hitting the rampway with a crowd-pleasing *THUD*! Clutching his BUTT like... well, so many jokes, so little time, you pick the best one... Singleton pulls himself back up. In front of him, Tyler gives his partner a leg-up, helping him onto the top rope, which Shayne Brave soars HIGH into the air off of, wiping out Simon on the ramp with a big Crossbody Block! SHAYNE C'MOOOOOOON! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! "Showtime" Shayne with a little assist from his partner, high-risk and high-reward right there! With everybody out of the equation, we're left with Tyler and Wright in the ring. Still in some discomfort, Wright labours into a boot from Tyler, who quickly hooks the head and looks for a Bulldog. CW pushes Tyler off, but he manages to jump up to the middle turnbuckle and catch Wright with a twisting crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Irish whip attempt by Tyler, blocked by Wright. A quick kick breaks the arms and Christian quickly hooks a hold of Tyler's head, lifting him up for the Gordbuster... ...NO! Tyler floats over the back and drives Wright down with Phantom (Diving) Neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Tyler now waves Shayne back into the ring and again D*LUX look for one of their patented double-teams, which has Mackenzie up in arms on the arena floor, complaining to the referee about the blatant cheating. Which does The Natural no good as he's pitched into the ropes. Tyler catches him on the rebound with an Inverted Atomic Drop, as Shayne comes off the ropes himself... ...and gets DECAPITATED (not rly!) with a Lariat by Christopher Patrick Allen!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH Ladies and gentlemen, Shayne Brave was 22. Nah, I'm just playin', I don't know how old that boy is, all I know is he just got plain served! Wondering why the second half of Opposites Attract hasn't happened, Tyler soon figures it out once CPA kicks him in the back and frees Christian from his clutches. Dragging Tyler to his feet by the hair, CPA levels The Tremendous One with a crossface strike. And a second. Tyler is barely standing after those shots. Only CPA's hold on his hair keeps him up, as The Director Of Security waits to hand Tyler off, shoving forward into an STO from Christian Wright! 1... 2... KICKOUT! On the rampway, Krista has tried to start up a fight with Simon. However, she's now run into trouble as she tries to get away, unable to do so with Simon's arms wrapped around her, holding her back from helping. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" With CW directing traffic, CPA drags Tyler to his feet again and clubs him with a couple of uppercuts up under the ribs. Wright is giving the signal for the Dominator. And soon enough, so is Mackenzie. Jade just stares. COACH If he hits this, it's over. Nobody in the OAOAST has kicked out of the Dominator, not when it's been CPA hitting it. Allen locks on the gutwrench and Krista knows what's up, making an extra effort to get away from the anchor tied to her ass in the form of Simon Singleton. She can't seem to do so though, as Tyler goes up over the shoulder... ...fights... ...fights some more... ...and gets DOMINATED~! COACH BALLGAME! Premature with his celebrations, like most things if rumours are to be believed, Wright asks for his briefcase already as CPA makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! SAVE BY KRISTA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT!? Pan to the rampway, to see Simon Singleton curled up in a fetal position, whimpering and clutching his testicles as he whines "she bit me, oh sweet Jesus she bit me.". COLE Krista freeing herself from Simon, somehow. And she just managed to keep her team alive in this match! COACH Woah woah woah. Somehow? SOMEHOW!? Wanna take a wild guess at how that somehow was there, mister conclusion jumper? Thought not. Unable to believe that the match isn't over, Wright has to get a second opinion from the referee before he'll finally believe that Mackenzie is right. Wright already has his briefcase and was ready to go right back to the office. And in an effort to keep to his tight schedule, he improvises, wielding the metal briefcase and charging at Krista... ...who ducks... *CLANG!* ...and watches as CPA takes the briefcase right in the head and goes toppling out of the ring to the arena floor!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's gonna cost him! COACH Come on referee, what do these six have to do to get a disqualification out here for crying out loud? COLE But, how can The Enterprise be disqualified for hitting each other with weapons? COACH Shut up. That's how. A horror stricken Wright drops the briefcase and holds up his hands to show that he meant no harm, which is of no consequence to CPA who lays flat out on the outside, seemingly KOed. Mackenzie rushes over to check on Allen but notices something CW doesn't, frantically telling him to turn around. Which he does, rewarded with a mouthful of knuckles as Krista wraps him with a Spinning Backfist! As CW falls back into the ropes, they do their job and push him right back out, into Krista who sidesteps him and hooks him by the back of the head, bringing him all the way down with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-factor) CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! The reason that says 'crowd' though is just that. The Washington crowd are the only ones counting the pinfall. Referee Mike Chioda is too busy trying to convince Mackenzie DeCenzo to get off the apron to join in. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This one should be over! COACH Should is just a four letter word. COLE Pretty soon Krista realises something is up and relinquishes the pin to figure out just what that something is. Mackenzie is still trying to reason with the referee about something, but soon begins to trail off when she sees Krista coming towards her. Fluffing her hair. Pouting her lips. Rubbing her breasts? COLE What the... Chioda wisely steps out of the way as Krista saunters over and grabs Mackenzie by the head, causing her to beg for mercy. Except, Krista places a finger on Mackie's lips to tell her to be quiet. And with Mackenzie wondering what the hell is going on, Krista leans in, slowly, dramatically, causing every person in the arena to stand on their feet... before JAMMING HER TONGUE DOWN MACKENZIE'S THROAT!! "YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE SOMEBODY BREAK OUT THE KLEENEX! Mackie certainly doesn't seem to be putting up a great fight as Krista wraps her in the old greco-roman liplock, working her magic before releasing Mackenzie, who promptly falls off the apron and to the floor in a heap. The thousands of perverts fans in the Wachovia Center shout their approval as Krista takes a drag on an imaginary post-cordial cigarette and tells the shell-shocked Mackie to "call me". Krista then turns back to the action... ...but stops, as now Jade Rodez is up on the apron. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Oh, she wouldn't! She just wouldn't! Mr. Moneymaker always told me that Jade was being trained as nothing more than a fresh-faced could-probably-pass-for-barely-legal-in-pigtails lesbian sex slave under Krista's impearialstic right-wing wing, but even I wasn't sure Krista would stoop so low as to corrupt an impressionable nineteen year old girl with her disease! As Krista stares at Jade, she just stands on the apron. Not saying anything. Not doing anything. Not really making any effort to distract anyone. Just standing there. Which is doing enough to distract Krista apparantly, who as she begins to question her former hero-worshipper doesn't notice Christian Wright sneaking up behind her. COLE It's a set-up! Another set-up! Krista just begins to get a little forceful with the questions, as suddenly she finds herself in a waistlock. Barging forward, Wright pushes Krista forward into the ropes for an O'Connor Roll. Jade doesn't seem to realise the danger until it's too late... ...AND GETS BUMPED OFF THE APRON, as Wright rolls Krista up... COLE Not like this! 1... 2... ...NO, REVERSAL BY KRISTA... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT!? The fans erupt as the three comes down and Krista goes scrambling out of the ring, mostly from Wright's belated kickout. Despite coming out of the ring right at the fallen body of Jade, Krista doesn't make any moves to check if she's okay, not about to fall into that kind of trap for the second time in a week. She just backs away, looking a little concerned admittedly, but only a little. BUFFER Your winners of this contest... the team of Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant, D*LUX and KRISTA ISADORA DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Not needing her tag team partners, who are still nursing their own wounds in and around the ring, for a good celebration, Krista takes her OAOAST World Tag Team Title belt and makes her way up onto the rampway. And as if the gruelling match she went through had never happened, she treats the rampway like her very own catwalk, displaying the newest in designer accessories this Summer, a wrestling championship belt. COLE Chalk one up for Krista and D*LUX, five on three and they still came out on top right here at The Great Angle Bash! COACH Nevermind that, let's get some help out her for poor Jade! She could be seriously hurt again! COLE Much as I hate to be cruel, I've read The Boy Who Cried Wolf enough times to have understood the moral of that story. And it seems Krista has too. Mackenzie slides into the ring to try and console Christian, who is furious at what just happened. Her consolations don't do much good, especially as they're so half-hearted, what with her distraction with Krista's imromptu fashion show. Angrily CW tells her to "snap out of it" and as Mackenzie hotly denies anything and everything, Jade continues to lay unattended to as we fade out.

Absolutely. Works better for me too.

Yeah, everything's working fine now.

This topic seems to pop up once every year or so, but after recent conversations with KC and Patty, I’m not the only one who thinks we have too many titles. The X-title probably should’ve been retired after Sandman9000 quit in 2004, and how much more can we really do with the 24/7 title? HI-YAH, originally created to pad the accomplishments of Black T, took on a life of its own and spawned additional titles. So I suggest we do something about this. Patty seems to think merging the X and Heartland titles is the best way to go, with HL coming out on top. The more I think about it the more I agree. Merging the titles shouldn’t be much of a problem considering KC controls the character that is currently X-Champion. The 24/7 title is either dropped in favor of a new title or becomes the #2 belt in the OAOAST. I lean towards the latter. The OAOAST is the main prize in the fed, so we can paint 24/7 as being the title that prepares you for what life as the champion will be like if you ever make it that far or something along those lines. The tag titles are merged to create the One & Only World tag team championship. We could do the same with the OAOAST and HI-YAH World titles but I’m not sure if that’s something Zack would consider. I’m a bit torn on the 6-man tag titles. I think we have enough characters to form legit 6-man combos and not just makeshift teams, and since the belts are rarely defended anyway they wouldn’t be so much of a hassle to keep around. If all this is O.K’d both feds are left with 3 titles. OAOAST Championship 24/7 title One & Only World tag title WDW Title Heartland title WDW tag titles So what do you guys think?

I can't move it either. Does anyone know why we've gone powerless?

COLE Right now let’s go backstage to “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the Lone Star Gunslingers. Where backstage? The locker room area of course. OKERLUND Gentlemen, 3 nights from now at the Great Angle Bash you’ll be facing not one but [u]two[/u] teams for the HI-YAH tag titles. Will the third time be the charm? BARON As far as Jock and I are concerned Gene, we are the uncrowned HI-YAH tag team champions. Every time the Lone Star Gunslingers have been in the ring with the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew we’ve had them beat, but due to circumstances beyond our control we stand here tonight title less. Sunday night at the Great Angle Bash you best believe those circumstances will be under control. Because on that night Jock and I will be able to keep a close eye on the men who have cost us the HI-YAH tag team championship on two separate occasions, the Heavenly Rockers. JOCK If they try to pull another fast one on us, it’ll be their last. MELODY (sighs) Come on, you guys. Can’t we all just get along? Logan’s said it’s not about the HI-YAH tag team titles to the Heavenly Rockers, right? They just want the heads of Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul. It’s the belts we want. So why not have the best of both worlds? The Heavenly Rockers get the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and we get the HI-YAH tag team championship. It’s a win-win situation for everybody! JOCK Hm, I think you may be on to something. MELODY :) Totally. Then once the Heavenly Rockers are done ANNIHILATING the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and you guys are officially crowned new HI-YAH tag team champions of the world, we all can be friends again! BARON :rolleyes:

[color="#FF0000"][b]OAOAST ACTION ZONE[/b][/color] We find ourselves inside the state of the art production studios of OAOAST Entertainment, a technological wonderland compromised of video walls and TV monitors. More impressive to the home viewer, however, is MAGGIE NERDLY. MAGGIE Hey y’all, me again, back on the tube with the latest 411 on the 6th annual Great Angle Bash. Regarded as one of the elite 4 pay-per-view events of the year, some of the most memorable and shocking moments in OAOAST history have occurred at the Bash, which is set to hit the airwaves on Sunday night June 24th. Now, the event is already sold out, so if you want to see the card headlined by the clash of champions -- Zack Malibu defending his OAOAST Championship against SWF Champion Landon Maddix -- you gotta call your local cable or satellite provider and order, like…right now y’all! What are you waiting for? More? You want more?! Like the clash of champions wasn’t enough to plunk down $40? Hmm, okay, how about this -- the Mardi Gras HomeWrecking Crew vs. the Heavenly Rockers AND the Lone Star Gunslingers in a triple threat match for the HI-YAH World tag team championship! LOGAN (Off-Screen) Ludicrous. Ludicrous sayeth Logan Usher Mann! MAGGIE :huh: Alongside a noticeably concerned HOLLY-WOOD, the HEAVENLY ROCKERS grace us with their presence. MAGGIE Oh, my gosh! How cool is this? I was just telling the people at home about your match at the Great Angle Bash. LOGAN And I just told you how ludicrous it is. Our beef is with Rico de Janeiro and Lucius Soul, not the Lone Star Gunslingers. For them to say we’re jealous of them, nervous about our spot in the hearts and minds of fans worldwide, I ask you this, Maggie Nerdly: Who weaseled their way into a high stakes pay-per-view match? MAGGIE Um, the Lone Star Gunslingers? SYNTH Yo, Mann, this Nerdly chick got her head on straight. Nothing like that other one. MAGGIE Hey, that’s my sister you’re talking about! And her team has as much beef with Soul and de Janeiro as you do. As a matter of fact, they might actually have MORE beef with YOU than they do them. SYNTH Dat right? MAGGIE Yeah! LOGAN To think, that little old lady was 20 years before her time. ‘Cause all the beef is gonna be in the ring at the Bash! HI-YAH tag team titles on the line. We said it then and we’ll say it now, it was never about the belts, but now that the greatest rock ’n’ wrestling band of all time have a shot at winning some hardware, it’s just the extra bit of motivation we need. MAGGIE Holly, let me ask you a question. LOGAN You got a question, direct it towards me or Synth. Got it? Holly’s got nothing to say. MAGGIE Who do you think you are, “Macho Man” Randy Savage? LOGAN I’m the “Macho MACHO” Mann! Ain’t that right Holly? SYNTH :lol: LOGAN Warning to everyone watching: The Great Angle Bash and the HI-YAH tag team championship will be the Heavenly Rockers first step to regaining the OAOAST World tag team titles! Logan stuns the viewing public by performing a double bicep pose. Not to be outdone Synth jams on his air guitar as we return to the arena.

Yep.

Pretty good idea Zack -- merging the X and 24/7 titles. We'd be following tradition by merging another belt into the X title. BTW, kudos to all for a great discussion. It's the most lively the place has been in a long time, and minus the drama that usually accompanied it!

Note: The ramp is officially back! And the ropes will be red, white and blue for anyone wondering.

For a brief time the HI-YAH tag titles were billed as International, but that only lasted a few title defense. Then the belts disappeared for a while and returned as a World title. What about calling it the TSM Championship? Basically another version of the TV title but since it's not called a TV title there won't be any pressure to defend it every week. And Patty has sold me on folding HI-YAH storyline wise.

Exactly my point. The 6-man tag belts can be useful. Unless plans have changed, and they haven't to my knowledge, we'll be seeing a lot more of the 6-man title in coming weeks. And the next contenders won't be 3 guys thrown together at random, they'll have their reasons for joining forces. KC explained my beef with the 24/7 and X titles perfectly, specifically 24/7. With a name like that you know it's a gimmick, so we either got to follow it or change the name. While seaching the forum last night for past title merge topics I stumble upon the original concept behind the X-Title, as written by Zack sometime in 2004. Concerning HI-YAH, I forgot to mention it would be announced the OAOAST bought it out. Patty came up with that and is the major force behind merging the HI-YAH titles. We have so many great tag team characters we can easily get away having two titles, but as Patty explained to me, why would the OAOAST give another promotion's titles so much air time on our shows? Unlike the other titles, it wouldn't be easy to merge both tag belts ASAP. It'd probably have to wait until the end of the year or done at next year's Anderson Cup. The only title we'd be losing is the X. 24/7 is still up for debate.

[b]And now, the OAOAST [color="#FF0000"]NOGGIN KNOCKER OF THE WEEK[/color]! [color="#FF8C00"]Last Week[/color][/b] [i]Forearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two BUTT heads. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least![/i] COLE Indeed it was one week ago tonight. Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. Up next, a pre-recorded interview conducted earlier in the day by Jonathan Coachman with the Lone Star Gunslingers. But we’d first like to revisit the situation that occurred this past weekend on our nationally syndicated television program. Following last Thursday’s events OAOAST matchmakers immediately booked Rico de Janeiro and Logan Usher Mann in a singles match and yet another chapter was written in the on-going saga between the Heavenly Rockers and Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Let’s view that in its entirety. * SWOOSH * [b]Courtesy: [color="#9932CC"]OAOAST Syndicated[/color][/b] SCHIAVONE About set to go with our main event this week on OAOAST Pro Wrestling, or so we believe. Rico de Janeiro, shall we say…a bit hesitant to step inside, Jesse Ventura. VENTURA I would too against a mad man like Logan Mann. He’s gone off the deep end, Schiavone. The guy ought to be placed in a psyche ward. He shouldn’t be allowed to compete in his current mental state. It’s not an athletic competition to him anymore, he wants to cripple and maim Rico! Fed up with Rico’s stall tactics Logan chases after the King of the Mardi Gras. Rico sprints around the squared circle and rolls inside, only to exit again and right in front of Holly-Wood. As Logan approaches he decides to shield himself behind Holly who is held against her will. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan channels his inner Randy Savage, swinging over the top rope and down to the floor, and then holds onto the top of his leather pants as he POINTS THE FINGER at the man with the porno mustache. SCHIAVONE Would you look at this? Logan’s own wife is being used as a human shield by that sleaze ball. VENTURA I suppose Rico’s line of thinking is, if it worked for Teddy Moneymaker it’ll work for me too. The only problem with that is Holly isn’t your typical damsel in distress. The Angel of Death proves Jesse correct. She stomps Rico’s foot and SLAPS the taste out of his mouth! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Floored by a running elbow square between the eyes Rico is then whipped into the guardrail, and tumbles into the crowd following a back elbow! Logan asks the fans to steer clear as he pulls the railing further out towards ringside and ascends to the top. DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SMASH! VENTURA Aw, look at this illegal double-team, Schiavone. SCHIAVONE I beg your pardon? VENTURA A slap changed the course of the match. So tell me, how come Holly is allowed out here but “Sweet” Lucius Soul isn’t? SCHIAVONE Because she has a valid manager’s license, Jesse. VENTURA Oh, come on. When’s the last time anybody’s checked the registry? My old manager, the late great “Classy” Freddy Blassie is probably still listed as active despite being retired and dead. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” The crowd reacts appropriately as “SWEET” LUCIUS SOUL wanders ringside brandishing a LAMINATED CARD. LOGAN :huh: SCHIAVONE I couldn’t have said it better myself. Lucius summons referee Earl Hebner and flashes his badge, so to speak. Our fine cameraman eavesdrops on the two and zooms in on the card that reads: “TEMPORARY MANAGER’S LICENSE -- LUCIUS SOUL.” VENTURA Genius! SCHIAVONE I beg to differ. In fact, I bet he got that on the Black Market. Logan dumps Rico over the railing and suplexes him back inside. ONE… KICKOUT! Irish whip to the buckle, and Rico is back dropped in the center of the ring. Now on the top rope Logan spreads his “wings” and flies, spiking both knees onto the chest of Rico de Janeiro! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Lucius yanks Rico outside and the ire of the referee. Just as Earl Hebner is about to call for the bell Logan DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES AND WIPES OUT THE MGHWC!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Logan concentrates his attack on Lucius, hammering him with sharp left jabs and a mighty right hand. But it gives Rico all the time he needs to regroup and Logan is leveled by a clothesline. Holly struggles to remain poised as Rico removes one of the protective pads ringside and delivers a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! VENTURA It looks to me Rico wants to target the ribs he and Lucius went after at School’s Out. If you remember -- and you probably don’t since you never what to give the Home Wrecking Crew any credit -- it wasn’t until they stopped focusing on the ribs that they began to lose control of the match. Holly defies Earl Hebener’s request to stay put in order to check on the welfare of her husband, but the senior official meant what he said and cuts her off at the path, leaving the Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew all to themselves with Logan Mann. SCHIAVONE That isn’t right at all. It’s 2 on 1 here. Holly just wanted to comfort her husband. VENTURA Yeah, and slip him a foreign object. You can’t trust a woman nicknamed the “Angel of Death.” Logan is rolled in and covered. Holly goes ballistic as Rico places his feet on the ropes for added leverage. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! In a rare show of emotion Holly pumps her fist. The action continues inside with an Irish whip and power body slam from Rico. The King of the Mardi Gras pops to his feet and drops the big leg across Mann’s chest and keeps it there for the pin. VENTURA My new favorite move in all of wrestling, the Porno 'Stache Leg drop. SCHIAVONE That lackadaisical cover isn’t going to get it done. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Logan gets the shoulder up. He’s whipped hard into the corner and almost straight out, but Rico charges forward and drives Logan back into the turnbuckles. Mann is turned around and punished with shoulder thrusts and forearm shots to the ribs. Rico sets him on the top rope for a back superplex but Logan lands an elbow to the temple, sending de Janeiro flying down to the mat! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The crowd senses a second win and rally behind Logan, who flies off the top...and right into the arms of Rico de Janeiro! Rico smashes Logan ribs-first into the near and far corners before placing him mid-ring in a BEAR HUG! * cricket, cricket * VENTURA You can hear a pin drop Tony. Rico just silenced 10,000 strong in the arena. Ha! SCHIAVONE One has to wonder just how much longer Logan can go given the damage done to his ribs. Logan’s eyelids begin to droop as Rico squeezes and squeezes. Earl Hebner raises Mann’s arm and it drops. ONE! He checks again. Same result. TWO! One more time and it’s over. THREE-- NO!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE Oh, yeah! Logan’s still very much alive. “LOGAN!” “LOGAN!” “LOGAN!” A series of left hands rock Rico but Logan is still unable to break the bear hug, so he BITES Rico on the bridge of his nose and that gets the job done! VENTURA (sarcastically) I’m glad to see the rules are still enforced, Schiavone. Logan bites Rico right in front of the referee and the guy just stands there. Wonderful. Rico shakes it off and lunges at Logan, who blocks a clothesline attempt and counters with a FLOAT OVER DDT!! SCHIAVONE Percussion! All Logan has to do now is cover Rico and it’s over. But Logan isn’t capable of making the cover because he landed hard on his ribs. With both men down the referee begins to administer the mandatory 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… Logan begins to stir, followed by Rico. FOUR… FIVE… SIX… Both are halfway up when Rico falls to his knees. SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… Lucius jumps on the apron to disrupt the count as Rico struggles to return to his feet. Logan grabs Soul by the collar and cocks his fist. Everyone wants to see Lucius get his except the referee. Hebner gets between both men in hopes of separating them, but Logan has a death grip on Soul and refuses to let go. Not only does Lucius fear for his safety but his partner’s as well, so he digs into his pant pocket and tosses BRASS KNUCKLES to Rico. SCHIAVONE The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew are like a cat with 9 lives, Jesse. Don’t tell me they’re going to eek another one out. This match should be over already. There is no way Rico was going to meet the 10 count. VENTURA The Big Easy isn’t an easy place to operate sometimes. You always gotta have protection in hand. Rico has a surprise for Logan and Holly has a surprise for Rico. The Angel of Death sneaks up on Rico after removing the STEEL CHAIN tied from her pocket to belt buckle and wrapping it around her fist. VENTURA Seeing all this, it’s pretty obvious cheating runs in the family. You got Soul trying to protect his buddy, and then you got Holly trying to cheat for her old man. SCHIAVONE Well, you said it yourself, Jesse -- you always gotta have protection. VENTURA That’s it. After the program it’s you and me, one on one, Schiavone. I told you many-a times about quoting me and you haven‘t listened. 3 strikes and you‘re out. How’s that for continuity? Hilarity ensues as Rico taps Logan on the shoulder as Holly taps him on his. Then tragedy strikes. Both men turn around simultaneously… RICO :o …but Rico ducks and Holly’s right cross drills Logan flush on the jaw! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” HOLLY :( SCHIAVONE My goodness, Holly accidentally K.O.’d her own husband! VENTURA The hell she did. She stood by her man and her man is Rico de Janeiro! SCHIAVONE No, he isn’t. It was an accident and you know it. Rico KISSES Holly and shoves her to the ground, then covers Logan. Lucius ends his frivolous argument, because the ref wasn’t standing around watching as all this went down, and the count is made. SCHIAVONE No. No. No! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… RICO DE JANEIRO! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lucius raises Rico’s hand in triumph, all while standing over the body of Logan Mann. Earl Hebner escorts them to the corner so that Holly can to tend to Logan. SCHIAVONE Jesse Ventura is on his way to the ring to interview the winner. But I still can’t believe what just transpired moments ago, as Holly-Wood accidentally knocked out Logan. :: Cue Replay :: As the replay will show, she tried to help her husband but it backfired in a costly way. :: End Replay:: I’m being told Jesse has made it ringside. Let’s go to him right now. The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew greet Jesse with a smile and handshake as they climb down the steel steps and set foot on the arena floor. VENTURA Rico de Janeiro, congratulations on a helluva victory. RICO Body, the King of the Mardi Gras, he took everything that punk Logan Mann dished at him. Every trick in the book and he still couldn’t get the job done, mang. It just goes to show never underestimate the heart of a champion. VENTURA Absolutely. There are guys who wouldn’t have survived half of what you had to go through to win the match, Logan Mann being one of them. RICO As much as I’d love to take full credit for my performance, I had some help. Holly-Wood, I can’t thank you enough. She proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she wants to be liberated and lubricated by the King of the Mardi Gras. VENTURA Don’t I know it. She wants you and she wants you bad, Rico. You can see it in her eyes. RICO Logan Mann, you countin’ sleep right now, but when you come to remember one thing, chico…don’t hate me because I’m simply irresistible. LUCIUS And a champion, foo. The HI-YAH tag team champions are prepared to head backstage when HOLLY FLIES OFF THE TOP AND ONTO THEM BELOW! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” She clubs Rico in the back of the head until Lucius yanks her off. Rico dusts himself off and confronts Holly. RICO You want to embarrass me? Chica, all I got to ask is, "Who wants a moustache ride?" SCHIAVONE Oh, no! He wouldn’t dare! Even Jesse thinks Rico is about to go overboard, begging him not to go through with the Moustache Ride. “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd EXPLODES as SYNTH rushes towards the area and cleans house on the Home Wrecking Crew. Already satisfied with their work Rico and Lucius live to fight another day. * SWOOSH * As previously mentioned, we cut to the pre-taped interview with the Lone Star Gunslingers in the locker room. COACH Well, fellas, the fans at home have just finished re-watching the Rico de Janeiro-Logan Mann match from this past weekend and prior to that your encounter with the Heavenly Rockers last week. Now, my question to you is one that is on the minds of fans worldwide and that’s what is up with you and the Heavenly Rockers? It was only a few weeks ago that you guys were the best of friends. MELODY But we are still friends. I mean, tempers flare during the heat of the moment. Baron may have overreacted… BARON Hold on there Melody. I didn’t overreact to nothin’. You wanna know what this is about, Coachman? Jealousy. Jock and I have been catchin’ on like wildfire and the Heavenly Rockers are startin’ to worry about their place in the hearts of fans around the world. We’re at a level in the ring they have yet to reach in 3-plus years in the OAOAST. All they have to fall back on is the OAOAST tag team championship they won, so they’re willing to undercut us to secure their current place in history. JOCK You know, the first time Logan cost us the HI-YAH tag title he said he was just watching our backs. We took his word for it at the time because it never crossed our minds a man as rich and famous as him would feel threaten by a couple of kids looking to make it big in the toughest sport of them all. To quote a phrase, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” You ain’t foolin’ anyone now, Heavenly Rockers. Baron and I have worked too long and hard to fall short of our goal of winning the tag team championship. So if we can’t get along, we’ll get it on. Let’s go. Melody chases after the Gunslingers as they ride off into the sunset. MELODY Guys, come on. Let’s not talk like that. They’re our friends! COACH Melody seems to think the Gunslingers and Heavenly Rockers can salvage their friendship. I say she’s all T & A and no brains.

I've wanted to comment on the WDW shows for sometime but since there were no feedback threads I didn't want to clutter the board. Love Jivin' J.R. as the voice of WDW, as well as Rick Heyross on color. Hell, I even marked for Kevin Kelly. The first WDW show had to be my favorite of the bunch so far. I've heard of tribute bands, so to see that done with tag teams was gold. Glad to see Team Heyross with the tag belts. Alf doesn't know this, but had they stayed in the OAOAST my plans were to put the tag titles on them after COD was dethroned. But that was when I thought Patty would only be around till AM. DDB/Jumbo vs. Team Heyross: Awesome opener. I'm happy to report I remember who Denzel Spencer is! Natheniel Black on the other hand, I'd forgotten about him, as KC correctly guessed I would when he told me of plans to bring him back in WDW. Both impressive in their respective squash matches. Disco Duck vs. Ricky Hayabusa: That wasn't long, was it? Got a chuckle out of me. Chris Stevens is one former wrestler I do remember. CSI was cool. Thunderkid vs. Felix Strutter: Fun ME that proved Alf is an evil genius. I hope both guys, especially Felix, got paid well for doing those spots with the tacks. Overall, a great outing. Reminds me of the OAOAST in its early days, before we sold out! MOTN: TK vs. Strutter, Heartland title LOTN: "He's gonna be Kung Fu Fighting...but this cat...*points at head*...fast as lightning, brother." -- Vinny Valentine

Rico de Janerio vs. Logan Mann

As uneventful as the build-up was, I think SO turned out to be one of our best shows. Obviously it was nowhere near an AM, but it was a damn good secondary PPV event. Awesome job by Patty putting the show together. Enterprise vs. COD/D*LUX: Do yourselves a favor and read this match. Not only will you learn how Krista spends Ned's child support money (see match graphic), the match itself is a thing of beauty. Give Patty a bunch of characters and he'll give them all a memorable moment. Moneymaker vs. Rodez: The finish caught me by surprise. I fully expect Leon to start his comeback once he got locked in the Bank Vault. Gotta feel bad for Leon. His own sister played a part in his downfall without getting physical at all. PR vs. Bo: This was a war all right, featuring cool spots and help from TLC for PR to win. Nice touch having some of PR's past rivals watching, it really put over how so many hoped to see him get his. Thumbs up. Zack Malibu vs. Drek Stone: While the feud never lived up to the hyped, so often as it happens, it still produced two highly entertaining matches. Now a new era begins with an old face back on top. History made too as Zack becomes the first 3-time OAOAST Champion. Congrats Zack! Holy Shit! Updating the title histories thread I noticed it's been 3 years since Zack last held the title. So 3 years after his last reign he wins #3.

* DING * DING * DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH promotions, one fall with a 15 minute time limit and it is a return match for the tag team championship of the world! Under HI-YAH regulations throwing your opponent over the top rope or ramming them head-first into the steel guardrail or ring post is grounds for immediate disqualification. Now let’s meet the participants. First the challengers in tonight’s contest, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, they are accompanied by MELODY NERDLY…”THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” blares in the background as the Gunslingers jog to the ring, fists pumped and all smiles. Meanwhile, their pig-tailed, Daisy Duke short wearing manager Melody skips down the aisle with her arms out, causing some in the crowd to push and shove in hopes of making contact with their idol/fantasy. COLE The month of May began with a HI-YAH tag title match between the Lone Star Gunslingers and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and it will end with one as well. As you heard Michael Buffer say, a return match from 4 weeks ago… [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN[/color]~! May 3rd[/b] [quote]The Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS :o Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. [/quote] COLE (CONT’D) …where the Gunslingers came 3 seconds away from dethroning the dynamic duo of Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul for the HI-YAH tag team championship. Fortunately for the Gunslingers, the Heavenly Rockers were there to watch their backs as the champions almost turned it ugly near the end. COACH I’d say unfortunately for the Lone Star Gunslingers, Cole. Because of the Heavenly Rockers interference they didn’t just lose the match, they lost the winner’s purse too. Even had they won via disqualification the Gunslingers would’ve earned a nice chunk of change for a hard night’s work, but the egomaniacs that the Heavenly Rockers are, they had to involve themselves someway, somehow. COLE Be that as it may, I happen to know for a fact -- because I deal with facts unlike some people I work with -- the Lone Star Gunslingers appreciate their newfound relationship with the Heavenly Rockers. It’s only been a few weeks but they’ve learned a great amount from Synth and Logan. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The swagger, the ‘stache stroking, ‘fro pickin’…it’s all there as the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew appear in front of the thousands in attendance. Lucius holds the tag belt up to his face as he struts to the ring George Jefferson style, shaping his ‘fro while Rico de Janeiro can’t stop touching himself, caressing his hairy chest. BUFFER And their opponents, they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING HI-YAH tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And here come a couple of young men who wowed quite a few people with their outing this past Sunday night at School’s Out against the Heavenly Rockers. COACH They did what nobody, except myself of course, thought was possible and that’s hang in with the Heavenly Rockers. I heard people say it was going to be a squash, a total annihilation, but it was the other way around. Rico and Lucius owned the Heavenly Rockers in every way imaginable. They dominated. If not for Melody sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, the original decision would’ve stood. I bet Logan thanked her after the show. And by thank I mean bang. COLE All right, that’s enough. I’ve already had to apologize once for you, I’m not going to do it again. The wrestlers are set and the bell is officially sound. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro begin with a test of strength, and Rico impressively suplexes Baron overhead out of the knuckle lock. Windels charges to his feet and into a hip toss, but Rico goes to the well one too many times as Baron blocks a second hip toss attempt and counters with one of his own, followed by a dropkick and arm drag takedown. Rico tries to shake Baron loose, hip blocking him across the ring, but the Gunslinger shows the tenacity of a pit bull and holds on tight to the arm-bar. Frustrated by Baron’s death grip de Janeiro cocks his fist in clear view of the referee who warms him about it (closed fists are illegal in the sport of professional wrestling, you know). A man of the rules Rico decides against the punch and scoops Baron for a slam…but Windels rolls through in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… KICKOUT! Rico ducks a clothesline and nails Baron on the rebound with a HIGH KNEE! ONE… TWO… NO! Complaints of a slow count are quickly dismissed by the HI-YAH official signed to the match, meaning an actual Japanese person. COLE There may be a slight language barrier, but slapping your hands together in rapid motion is universally recognized. COACH Can somebody tell me why now? Why now is a HI-YAH official flown in to officiate a title defense? Aren’t the referees we have good enough? COLE Of course they are. But with the Lone Star Gunslingers involved, it’s a big match in Japan as they were wildly popular during there time in HI-YAH. COACH So in other words, the fix is in? The King of the Mardi Gras rams Baron into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and tags out. However, Rico stays in to hold Baron so Lucius can work the body over with an array of kicks and forearm shivers to the face. Together they whip Baron into the ropes…BLIND TAG…but the big Texan ducks an attempted double clothesline and leapfrogs Rico on the rebound, then along with Jock dropkick the Homewrecking Crew! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air, joining the crowd in their state of euphoria. Rico and Lucius, they‘re laid out on the arena floor. COLE The crowd is electric! They want to see the HI-YAH tag titles change hands. But don’t you change that channel. Our tag team title match resumes after the break! [b][color="#FF8C00"]WILL THE CHAMPS BE[/color] “[color="#FF0000"]GUNNED[/color]” [color="#FF8C00"]DOWN[/color]? [color="#00FF00"]HI-YAH Tag Team Title Bout[/color] [color="#DDA0DD"]The Mardi Gras[/color] [color="#FF0000"]Homewrecking Crew[/color] [Champions] Vs. [color="#0000FF"]The Lone Star Gunsliners[/color] [Challengers] [color="#FF8C00"]COME ON BACK AND FIND OUT, YA HEAR[/color]?[/b] “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Jock Mulligan lockup as we return from break and Jock blocks Soul’s attempted cheap shot, catching the leg in midair before spinning Sweetness around and compressing his vertebrate with an ATOMIC DROP. Crotched mid-ring in a whole lotta pain Soul leaves himself exposed to a BANDIT KICK! ONE… TWO… But only two, as Jock rolls off and Rico drops a big elbow on his partner! The crowd ROARS in unison as the Gunslingers get them some of Rico de Janeiro. The King of the Mardi Gras rocked by a series of right hands and Cowboy Bebop bionic elbows. Jelly-legged, Rico is sent for the ride and leveled by a pair of FLYING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE Arkansas Toothpick! COACH Has it struck anybody how odd it is for two guys from Texas to use a move called an Arkansas Toothpick? Must be a Melody thing. The Gunslingers allotted 5 seconds are up and Baron must return to the corner. As the referee escorts him back Lucius forearms Jock in the upper back, knocking him through the ropes and to the ground. Rico quickly shakes off the cobwebs and rams the Texas Twister FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL… COLE That’s an automatic disqualification under HI-YAH rules, but the referee didn’t see it. …and then INTO THE RINGPOST! COLE And that’s another automatic disqualification right there! COACH Yeah, but like you said, the referee didn’t see it. And you can’t call what you didn’t see. Ha! Baron and Melody express a great deal of concern as they’re restrained by the referee. Melody on the verge of tears once Jock is rolled in a BLOODY MESS. COLE Oh, my. Oh, my, my. COACH Well, on the bright side, he hit a gusher. Get it? Gusher? Oil? Texas? COLE Now is not the time for jokes, Coach. Jock Mulligan is one of the finest young men you’ll ever meet and to see him in this state is…it’s horrible. COACH If it weren’t my job I wouldn’t want to come to…either. ONE… TWO… FOOT ON THE ROPE. Lucius targets the open wound, BITING and driving his fist into Jock’s forehead. Jock’s face continues to take a pounding as he and the sole of Rico’s boot are introduced violently. Rico happily accepts the tag from Lucius, stroking his porn ‘stache as he enters the ring and smashes his right forearm into the midsection of the Texas Twister. Rico pulls him out of the corner and delivers a gut wrench suplex, followed by a succession of elbow drops and the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Melody and Jock encourage the crowd to get behind Jock and it works. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Rico taunts the crowd after placing Jock in a debilitating neck vice, pretty much spiting in each and every fans face. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Nowhere to go Jock’s only escape is to GOUGE the eyes of Rico de Janeiro! COLE Well, that’s one way to get it done, even if it’s not legal. Lucius sprints across the ring and knocks Baron off the apron to prevent any chance of a tag, drawing him inside, thus allowing the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to isolate Jock near their corner. Yet another tag is made by the champions and Lucius makes quite a splash from the apron…a SLINGSHOT 450 SPLASH! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE. COACH Jock’s operating on instincts now, Cole. The second time tonight he’s been saved by the ropes. Soul whips Jock into the corner and hits the SOUL BROTHER (360 STINGER) SPLASH! Jock can barely stand as he stumbles out towards the center of the ring and right in the direction of a POUNCE…that’s lands him near his corner, allowing Baron to TAG HIMSELF IN! LUCIUS :o “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I don’t think that’s what Lucius had in mind. Baron uses his long legs to kick Soul in the gut, hammer him across the back of the neck with a judo chop and land a big right hand. Enter Rico, who Baron casually flips over his shoulder in a backdrop. It’s 2 on 1 for the time being and Baron does more than hold his own, he kicks ass. Soul and de Janeiro both receive a pair of Cowboy Bebop elbows and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Rico is sent flying out of the ring courtesy of a BIG BOOT, while a FLYING LARIAT decks Lucius! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron scoops Lucius up for the Devil’s Addition, his fall away slam maneuver…but Lucius lands on his feet and stuns him with a SWINGING DDT out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! KICKOUT!! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Damnit, I thought he had them! This is a helluva match, Cole. COLE And you’re seeing it on Thursday night’s one number rated program. Forearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two BUTT heads. Still on the ground just feet away is Rico, a look of shock on his face as he watches the second coming of the Mega Powers about to explode. He quietly sneaks out and heads for higher ground along with Lucius. They want no part of what may happen. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least. One that may be the direct result of what my broadcast colleague pointed out, and that’s the Heavenly Rockers cost the Lone Star Gunslingers the HI-YAH tag team championship yet again. While I firmly believe there was no ill intent involved, I can understand Baron’s feelings. COACH They had the match won. I’m as big a supporter of the MGHWC as you’ll find, but even I have to admit they were fortunate to retain their titles here tonight.

“Heart-Shaped Box” hits and the crowd ERUPTS, rising in unison as the Heavenly Rockers rush onto the stage. Holly whisked ringside by her husband Logan Mann, leaving Synth to bang his head and high-five fans. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time! Accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD, hailing from Sin City, the former OAOAST tag team champions of the world...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Synth returns the love shown to him and Logan by pointing at each section in the arena. Mann completely oblivious to all and everything around him, including Holly, so focused on the match is he. COLE To say Logan is a man -- pardon the pun -- possessed would be an understatement. He’s been waiting for the chance to get his hands on Rico de Janeiro ever since the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew’s inappropriate behavior in front of his wife Holly. COACH Rico is a newbie, Cole. How was he supposed to know that was Logan’s wife? COLE What?! Are you kidding me?! They’re one of the most high profile celebrity couples in the world! COACH Who my sources say are experiencing marital woes, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone considering Logan is obviously still playing the field, probably with Melody Nerdly. But who am I to judge? Holly is just looking for a good time. And you couldn’t find a better person to do it with than Rico de Janeiro. COLE (gasps) How dare you’d spew such lies to a worldwide television audience?! Based on your remarks there’s no doubt in my mind or the fans mind your source is none other than Rico de Janeiro. I wouldn’t trust a word that comes out of that man’s mouth. On behalf of the OAOAST I’d like to apologize to the Mann and Nerdly family for those appalling comments. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees Oozing machismo and holding the silverware, the sleaze ball tag team of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Rico de Janeiro are pelted with boos on their way to the ring, Phil Collins’ vocals booming overhead. BUFFER And their opponents, total combined weight 410 pounds, the HI-YAH World tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius struts onto the apron and inside the squared circle. Rico, however, pauses on the steel steps to stroke his ‘stache as he admires Holly from a distance. All hell breaks loose the second Rico reaches for one of his beads, as Logan gives chase and Synth goes to town on Lucius! COACH Lucius didn’t even have time to remove his coat, Cole. Defend that? * DINGDINGDING * COLE Logan’s snapped. I can’t believe Rico had the nerve to go to his beads. Like Holly would agree to flash him. COACH Well, she did sleep with Ned Blanchard behind Logan’s back long ago. Not exactly a woman of high character is Holly-Wood. COLE :o Sweetness is hammered against the ropes and fired off, elevated high above on the rebound and down courtesy of a back body drop. The agony on Soul’s face is self-explanatory. He returns to his feet clutching his lower back, but the Synthmeister has little sympathy, connecting on a dropkick and a clothesline that knocks Lucius outside. There, Logan finally catches up with Rico, but the King of Mardi Gras is able to slip out of his Hawaiian shirt and roll inside. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” The crowd reacts as de Janeiro realizes he’s caught between a rock and a hard place, or the Heavenly Rockers to be exact. Rico picks his poison in Synth, who ducks a right and atomic drops the Brazilian heartthrob into an AXE BOMB from Logan! COACH Fortunately for Rico, Mikey, the atomic drop caused his sunglasses to fall off, or it could’ve gotten ugly in a real hurry. I’m sure women around the world breathed a sigh of relief. In a first for de Janeiro someone other than a woman mounts on top of him, and it’s his face that pays the price thanks to a series of left hands. Brought up by the beads around his neck, Rico is shot into the corner and decked by a hard back elbow to the sternum. He rolls out to the floor as “Sweet” Lucius Soul makes his presence felt again, but a WICKED LEFT HOOK takes care of him. COLE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are on the ropes early. How fortunate are they that this isn’t a title match? COACH Moot point. As stated by the Crew last week, the Heavenly Rockers aren’t even in contention for a title shot. Besides, Synth and Logan said they didn’t care if it was title or non-title. COLE The Heavenly Rockers might not be in line for a HI-YAH tag title match, but one team in line for a shot are the Lone Star Gunslingers. You know they’re keeping a close eye on this one. Right on cue, a small box appears on the upper hand right corner of the screen to show the Gunslingers and Melody huddled backstage around a monitor. Look closely and you’ll see newly assigned OAOAST road agent Tony Brannigan in the background. COLE And there you see them. The Gunslingers said they’d be here to watch the Heavenly Rockers backs and they are; returning the favor from a few weeks ago. Logan heads to the top and drops a double axe handle onto Rico below. The King of the Mardi Gras can barely stand as he’s brought to his feet and slammed face-first into the timekeeper’s table, and then the steel steps! Mann STRANGLES de Janeiro with his own BEADS before swinging him back in by the neck. Rico pleads on his knees for mercy, but Logan has none of that, SPITING in de Janeiro’s face! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Full of rage, Logan kicks Rico in the chest and tries to GOUGE his eyes out! COLE Oh, the humanity. Or lack thereof. Numerous attempts to get Logan to break the hold go unsuccessful, forcing referee Brian Hebner to physically interject himself, giving Rico de Janeiro the opening he needs to deliver a crippling LOW BLOW. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Doubled over in a world of hurt, there’s little Logan can do to prevent the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew from making the tag, and “Sweet” Lucius Soul from executing a BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER! COACH Welcome to Nawlins, son. Heh. ONE… TWO… But only two, as Synth stomps Lucius in the back of the head to breakup the pin. Soul follows a scoop and a slam with some strutting and ‘fro combing to the corner. Once atop the turnbuckles he checks his ‘fro one last time and flies… COLE Swan Dive head BUTT! …BUT NOBODY’S HOME! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” A good news/bad news situation for the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. The good news is Soul’s afro protected his head. The bad news is, Logan rolls to his corner and makes the tag! Whether it’s the rush of adrenaline or the speed he’s on, the Synthmeister comes in a house afire, snapping Lucius over with a swinging neck breaker and then dropkicking an incoming Rico de Janeiro. Perched on the second turnbuckle Synth drops a BIG ELBOW on Soul and covers! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Full arm drag and twist, and the Heavenly Rockers make a tag. Logan Mann off the top with a double axe handle onto the outstretched arm of Lucius Soul. A well placed knee to the midsection frees Lucius from an arm wringer. He whips Logan into the ropes but misses a roundhouse kick, as Logan ducks under and decks Rico on the apron! If at first you don’t succeed try, try again is Soul’s motto. Having whiffed on the roundhouse, he’s able to extract a measure of revenge by catching Logan on the way around with a beautiful spin wheel kick. But the blow causes Mann to fall out by Rico. Unaware of who lurks behind him de Janeiro walks right into a stinging left hand from Logan! COLE Look at Rico staggering around. It’s like he spent an entire night partying down in Bourbon Street. Logan is fast to react, placing Rico in front of him, as Lucius dives through the ropes and accidentally wipes out his own buddy with a SUICIDE DIVE! Mann returns inside only to throw himself back out and onto “Sweet” Luicus with a PESCADO! COACH He’s just showboating now, Cole. Quite frankly, it’s disgusting. If I wanted to see that I’d just go back to my other gig. Feeding off the energy of the crowd Logan decides to give an encore performance. He ascends to the heavens and leaps with his patented move, a double axe handle smash…but Rico catches him in midair and RAMS LOGAN INTO THE RINGPOST!! COACH Oh, that’s karma. That is karma! Lucius gets right in Logan’s grimacing face and asks, “Does it hurt? Does it hurt?” SOUL :lol: Mann is shoved back in and a tag is made. Rico de Janeiro returns to action, stroking his porno ‘stache as he loves to do, clubbing Logan across the shoulder blades before muscling him up in the BODY LOCK! “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” COLE Synth and Holly encouraging the crowd to get behind Logan, wrapped in that body vice or Canadian backbreaker to some. COACH It’s the Body Lock. And somewhere Jesse Ventura is smiling. Remember, Logan had his ribs crushed into the ring post earlier, and the butterfly backbreaker before that. His ribs have got to be screaming right about now. Rico thrusts his pelvis Holly’s way, baiting Synth inside, which distracts the referee from seeing Lucius enter and hammer Logan in the face. Trapped in no man’s land Logan’s only chance to escape is by repeatedly drilling his elbow onto the crown of de Janeiro’s head. The strategy works as Rico can only sustain so many blows to the head, enabling Logan to float over…into a big time clothesline from the King of Mardi Gras! So pleased with his actions Rico takes a bow and caresses his hairy chest, doing so while smacking his lips together at Holly. COACH She winked at him, Cole! COLE She did not. COACH I saw her. Holly wants some of that Brazilian hard candy. COLE Brazilian, wha-- never mind. Perfectly executed gut wrench suplex flattens Logan. Needless to say, the official isn’t too pleased when Rico goes for the pin and lifts Mann’s off the mat before a count can be made. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Momentarily flustered by the chant, the man from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil goes on about his business, shooting Logan off to the far side and plants a RUNNING HIGH KNEE that would make Harley Race proud right in the kisser. Rico fondles his moustache as he measures Logan for the PORNO ‘STACHE LEGDROP! COLE He got all of that. It may be over right here. ONE… TWO… * OOF * “YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Rico is rolled onto his back following a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK by Synth. He and Lucius go at it until the referee intervenes. As Synth is escorted to his corner, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew capitalize on the situation with a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on Logan! COACH Synth has the referee distracted! COLE What are you talking about? The Homewrecking Crew are the ones who benefited from it. Soul and de Janeiro scream at Brian Hebner to turn around. He finally spots the cover and counts. ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!! RICO :angry: COLE So, Coach, what were you saying earlier about karma? COACH Shut the… Coach’s mic is cut off as Rico mounts on top and pins both of Logan’s hands to the mat. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Looking to add a little something extra to wear Logan down, Rico leaps in the air in hopes of dropping all his weight down on Mann’s stomach…but Logan wraps him around in a body scissors! Unlike most people in this situation Rico doesn’t panic. The strongman is able to break Logan’s grip and hook both legs under his arms. That’s all “Sweet” Lucius Soul needs to see. He literally leaps into action, jumping over the top rope as he swings onto the middle turnbuckle inside and blasts Logan with a BICYCLE KICK as Rico SLINGSHOTS him towards the corner! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE My goodness, we almost had a decapitation on live pay-per-view television. COACH Now those are educated feet. ONE… TWO… THR -- NO!! Synth yanks Lucius away. Naturally upset, Soul avoids confrontation and places Logan in a reverse chinlock. Given the non-stop action throughout the match, the competitors deserve a rest break. But all Logan needs is 10 seconds. He rises to his feet and falls to the seat of his pants, smashing his head into the jaw of “Sweet” Lucius! Too weak to attempt a pin Logan starts inching towards his corner. His wife, best friend and thousands more behind him in his quest for a tag. Two men who don’t support his efforts are the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Having shaken off the cobwebs, Soul is able to tag Rico, who charges across the ring and knocks Synth off the apron, dragging Logan back towards the Crew’s side of the squared circle. An old school big elbow finds its mark and the cover is made. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Unable to score the pin Rico digs into his bag of power moves, whipping Logan to the ropes for a power slam…but Mann slips over the top and nails a desperation DDT!!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Percussion DDT! He got it, but can he make the cover? COACH That’s the least of his worries right now. Tagging in the fresh man has to be top priority. He’s been in there too long. “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” The Heavenly Rockers lead vocalist crawls to the wrong corner. Slumped against the turnbuckles he notices Rico has reached his side and has made the tag, causing him to dive towards the right corner…but Lucius manages to grab a foot. Logan hobbles up on one leg and swings wildly at Soul’s head, not even coming close to making contact. SOUL Whatchu gonna do, sucka? Huh? Whatchu gonna do? ENZURIGI KICK, that’s what! COLE Logan kicked Lucius so hard it flipped him onto his back! Dare I say that’s a little payback from earlier? “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Third time’s the charm for Logan, as he’s finally able to make the tag. The crowd EXPLODES as Synth comes in firing, decking both Soul and de Janeiro. He slams them both in succession and then sends Lucius into the direction of Rico, causing the two to collide. Synth spins Lucius around and hits a hangman’s neck breaker as Rico falls out to the floor! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Synth lowers the shoulder after whipping Soul into the ropes, but Sweetness telegraphs it and leapfrogs the Synthmeister on his way to spring boarding off the middle rope and back at Synth, hooking the head for a SWINGING DDT…but it’s blocked and countered into a FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! SAVE BY RICO! Logan returns to the fold, dropping Rico with one punch. But a head BUTT to the gut stops Logan in his tracks, allowing Rico to toss him out through the ropes. Just when it seems the Homewrecking Crew will have a 2 on 1 advantage, Rico is clotheslined over the top. There to greet him…Logan Mann, who shoves the King of Mardi Gras into the ring post near the timekeeper’s table! COLE That takes care of one problem. Now… Oh, no, don’t tell me. Are we going to see it? The fans rise as Logan heads to the top, Lucius tucked between Synth’s thighs. Synth delivers the SIT-OUT POWERBOMB as Logan connects on the FLYING LEGDROP! COLE Electric Melody! How long has it been since we’ve seen that? Before the referee can count he orders Logan out of the ring. Having spent his last bit of energy on the leg drop, Logan struggles to accommodate. He reaches to Holly for assistance, asking her to help pull him onto the apron. To ensure no foul play is involved the referee keeps a watchful eye on the two. But it’s the other side he should be watching, as Rico climbs onto the second turnbuckle, his fist wrapped in a countless number of BEADS, and drills Synth in the back of the neck! COLE Why that no good, slimy son of a… Rico drapes Lucius on top and exits, placing the beads inside his tights to create the world‘s largest boner! With Logan now on the apron the referee goes to count. ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly throws her arms in the air in disbelief, stepping inside to get some answers from the referee. The crowd cheers as MELODY NERDLY arrives on the scene to inform young Brian Hebner what happened, pointing to Rico’s crotch. Rico denies any wrongdoing, claiming he’s just happy to see Melody, but Hebner doesn’t buy it. He reaches in and pulls the beads out of Rico’s tights, then waves the pin off! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH He can’t do that! COLE Yes, he can. He’s the referee. COLE So are we going to start reversing the outcome of the Super Bowl? I’m sure a lot of people in Chicago would love to go back and take away points the Colts scored because Rex Grossman isn’t an efficient quarterback. After conversing with the official ring announcer Michael Buffer reads the following announcement: BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please. Due to the use of an illegal object, the referee has REVERSED his decision. Therefore, the winners of the match as result of a disqualification…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CUE: “Heart-Shaped Box” The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew push Hebner to the ground and attack Synth and Logan out of frustration. Rico gives Logan a MOUSTACHE RIDE while Lucuis puts Synth down with FRO 2 SLEEP! * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Come on, there’s no need for this. Soul and de Janeiro spot Holly and Melody in the corner and nod, as if to say “one for me, one for you.” Holly positions herself in front of Melody to protect her. The strong independent woman that she is, Holly is ready to take both men on (!). COLE Oh, no. We need help out here. We need help out here now! Cole’s prayers are answered as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS hit the ring and the Homewrecking Crew with fists and bionic elbows! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH What are they doing here? COLE Living up to their word. All right! The Homewreckers RAKE the eyes and whip the Gunslingers into the ropes, but Jock and Baron duck a pair of clotheslines and connect with a couple LARIATS! Soul and de Janeiro roll outside as officials and agents swarm the area. Lucius screaming at the guys to "Watch the 'fro, bro." They’re handed their HI-YAH tag titles and escorted backstage. COLE Get these clowns out of here. COACH Yeah. Instead of worrying about Rico and Lucius, let’s get the Gunslingers out of the ring first. COLE I’m talking about the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, not the Lone Star Gunslingers. “Heart-Shaped Box” is cued again as Jock and Baron help the Heavenly Rockers up to a rousing ovation. The Texans raising the hands of the winners, although they might not look it. Logan wraps his arm around Holly’s neck and points at the Gunslingers, his way of thanking them. High-fives are exchanged as are smiles, at least from Melody since that really isn’t Holly’s thing. COACH What a terrific foursome they are. The Lone Star Gunslingers said they’d be here to watch the Heavenly Rockers backs and they were. Perhaps lost in the aftermath was the great match we just saw, Coach. COACH The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew score the 1-2-3, yet they lose by disqualification. One of the biggest miscarriages of justice I have ever witnessed, but a heck of a match.

Despite only having 3 matches I thought this was a pretty good show. A couple of excellent promos from Zack and Patty and a fun main event with the one night reunion (I think) of THE USUAL F'N SUSPECTS! I did not see that one coming at all. Mark out moment. Good job by all who wrote.

Patty Rule in effect. But I don't think I wrote anything too outlandish. Backstage, broadcast Hall of Famer “Mean” Gene Okerlund is positioned at the interview area. OKERLUND Thank you for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll return to the ring for more live action momentarily. But I’d first like to welcome one of the most promising young tag teams in our sport today, along with their manager Melody Nerdly, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, the Lone Star Gunslingers! JOCK Yeeeeee-haw! Melody skips into view, a big smile on her face. Jock and Baron, they’re giddy but all business at the same time. OKERLUND They’re awfully excited, Melody. MELODY The entire state of Texas and parts of Mexico is excited as well, Gene. I just got off the phone with Mr. Miyagi of HI-YAH promotions, and he’s informed me our request for a title rematch against the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew has been granted. We came so close to winning those belts once… What am I saying? We HAD those belts won. The cheap shot artists that they are, Rico and Lucius were ready to do some serious damage. If not for the Heavenly Rockers my boys might be standing before you tonight with stitches in their heads and faces! And we couldn’t have that because it’d have ruined the photo shoot we just did for Teen People. BARON That’s why Jock and I are out here. Not to talk about some photo shoot, but the Heavenly Rockers. We know how bad they want a piece of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. They went on and done something that never should be done…and that’s mess with another man’s wife. Soul and de Janeiro, they’re a couple of bad dudes; unafraid to break a rule here or there. The Lone Star Gunslingers just want the Heavenly Rockers to know we’ll have their backs the same way they had ours whenever they and the Homewrecking Crew meet. MAN Hey, yo. Heads turn as a voice is heard off-screen, that of RICO DE JANEIRO. The King of Mardi Gras enters stroking his ‘stache as only he can followed by a strutting and ‘fro combing “Sweet” Lucius Soul. RICO Did I hear correctly? Did the afro pickin‘, ‘stache stroking, finger licking good tag team hear you guys say we’re bad? Mang, you ain’t seen bad yet. Wait until we get through with the Heavenly Rockers Sunday night. OKERLUND Hold on just a second, Rico de Janeiro! Are you saying you and Lucius have accepted the Heavenly Rockers challenge for School’s Out? LUCIUS You deaf or something’, foo‘? OKERLUND No, I just wanted to confirm… RICO Well let me confirm this for you, chico. Yeah, we accept their challenge. But it’s non-title. Logan said they didn’t care whether the belts were on the line or not, and that only made our decision easier because they ain’t even in contention for a shot at our straps. The Lone Star Gunslingers on the other hand…heh… Hey, we got no problems defending our tag titles against you two chumps. We’ve wiped the floor with you once and we’d do it again. MELODY Pfft! WhatEVER! You’ll be lucky to even defend your titles if Synth and Logan don’t kill you at School’s Out. Ooh, they mad, sucka. LUCIUS (chuckles, licks chops) You talk pretty big for such a little girl. Tell me, you free on the weekends? I can hook you up with a guy who can make you some easy money. Of course, since I’d have discovered you, I’d get a cut of the action, as would my friend. JOCK Who do you think you’re talking too? This ain’t no lady of the street, fella. I think you owe her an apology. LUCIUS Make me…sucka. JOCK I believe we have ourselves a failure to communicate. Jock reaches back and pops Soul in the face! LUCIUS Oh, it’s ON now. Lucius retaliates and a pier-six breaks out backstage with the Gunslingers and Homewrecking Crew going at it. Gene and Melody head for cover while OAOAST officials storm the area. We cut to Sofa Central to find a stunned Michael Cole and Coach. COACH :o COLE You can tell summer is approaching because the intensity is already heating up! Right now…

An overhead shot inside the arena leads us to the squared circle and ring announce Michael Buffer, joined by LOS CONQUISTADORS. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, the meanest and baddest hombres in el mundo…Los Conquistadors! Uno and Dos raise their fists to a chorus of boos. The jeers quickly turn to cheers as Nirvana’s “Heart-Shaped Box” hits. The “Angel of Death” herself, Holly-Wood, leading her team to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD…from Sin City, total combine weight 430 pounds, the greatest rock ‘n wrestling band of all-time…THE HEAVENLYYYYYY RRRRRR-- COLE Michael Buffer, get out of there now! * DINGDINGDING * Los Conquistadors catch the Heavenly Rockers with a cheap shot as they step through the ropes, but it doesn’t take long for Synth and Logan to fight back and gain the upper hand. Logan rakes Uno’s eyes and tosses him outside, then helps his partner pummel Dos to his knees. Whipped to the ropes and elevated high above, Dos lands flat on his back courtesy of a Heavenly Rockers tandem maneuver. Dos again finds himself on his back following a DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK! Logan covers! ONE… But only one as Uno breaks up the count. Logan removes his leather jacket and throws it at Uno’s feet. In case that didn’t grab his attention Mann throws Dos down as well, daring Uno to tag in. To the surprise of many, perhaps, Uno accepts the challenge. He and Logan lock up and, as the Heavenly Rockers been known to do in the past, Logan busts out a wristlock to prove he is indeed a trained wrestler, followed by a snap mare takeover and a fist to the jaw. ONE… KICKOUT! Logan brings Uno to his feet and works the body over with a series of stinging left jabs. Once he’s had his fun Logan tags Synth and fires Uno into the ropes, drilling him in the midsection with a hard right that enables Synth to snap him over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Instead of going for the cover Synth climbs onto the second rope and drops the big elbow! ONE… TWO… NO! Again a Conquistador is there to make the save, this time Dos. Synth slams Uno for good measure and tags Logan back in. Holly-Wood cheering her husband on as he scales to the top, spreading his “wings” (arms) to build the drama… COLE If Logan hits this it’s all over. …FLYING DOUBLE KNEE DROP TO THE CHEST!! Mann bounces off Uno and across the ring, decking Dos with a WICKED LEFT HOOK! “D-D-T!” “D-D-T!” “D-D-T!” COLE You know what the fans want to see. COACH Funny how you scream at the top of your lungs when somebody like “Sweet” Lucius Soul looks to add an exclamation point to the end of a match, yet it’s just giving the people what they want when the Heavenly Rockers do it. All I’m asking for is some consistency. Logan twirls the FINGER OF DOOM~ and waves in Synth. They hook Uno’s head and spike him into the mat! COLE Percussion DDT! Synth plays air guitar as Logan covers! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… THE HEAVENLYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Heavenly Rockers meant business tonight, Coach. It only took them a little over 2 minutes to finish off a tough Conquistadors team. Logan calls for and receives the microphone. LOGAN Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” LOGAN No more Mister Nice Guy. You, us. SCHOOL’S OUT! Title, non-title…it don’t make a difference. The Heavenly Rockers are coming after your asses sayeth Logan Usher Mann! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The challenge has been issued. All we can do now is await the response of the HI-YAH tag team champions. Hopefully sometime tonight. COACH I’ll say this, Cole -- the Heavenly Rockers won’t have it as easy as they did tonight against Rico and Lucius. COLE A whole lot more still to come, fans. Don't you dare go away.

The Heavenly Rockers vs. Los Conquistadors