Tony149

[b]And now, the Anderson Cup [color="#FF8C00"]SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK[/color]~![/b] [quote]Moracca rakes the face of Pantera, then Mariachi comes in with a clothesline, taking both himself and Pantera over the top to the floor! COLE Mariachi and Pantera out to the floor! COACH And Pantera's hurt out there! Pantera reaches down for his knee in agony, as Morocca continues to hammer on Strutter in the ring. COLE And it's Pantera and Morocco the legal men! The referee starts to count Pantera on the floor. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! Moracca floors Strutter with a clothesline! 5!!! Moracca scoops up Strutter, who slips behind the back... 6!!! ...delivers a foot to the gut... 7!!! ...and drills Moracca with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 Cover... COLE Strutter got it, but he's not the legal man! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! COLE That's it! *DING DING DING* COACH You've got to be kidding me. Strutter slowly gets up, then slides out to check on his partner. BUFFER [i]The winners of the match as a result of a countout, advancing to the second round...LOS DIABLOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!![/i] COACH I don't believe this![/quote] Instead of going back live to the arena, we're treated to a clip from our syndicated program. An interview conducted by Tony Schiavone with THE ENTERPRISE at the [color="#FF0000"][b]OAOAST Wrestling[/b][/color] podium, a platinum backdrop with a shadowed figure performing the ankle lock on some poor soul smack in the center. In case you didn't believe it's a clip from OAOAST Syndicated, a graphic is superimposed on the lower left hand corner of the screen indicating so. [b]Courtesy: [color="#9932CC"]OAOAST Syndicated[/color][/b] SCHIAVONE As detailed on OAOAST.com, Team Canada's elimination from the Anderson Cup didn't just send shockwaves throughout the wrestling world but Wall Street as well. Enterprise stock plummeting as shareholders are left unsettled by the prospect of having to go through Los Diablos de Fuego in order to reach the finals, which will occur right here on this very program February 23rd, or wrap up the Anderson Cup and the automatic shot at the World tag team championship at AngleMania VI. However, before we can start thinking ahead, both Enterprise entrants will have to take care of business first. And it all begins Sunday night, January 28th at AnglePalooza, as the Beverly Hills Blonds finally take on Los Diablos de Fuego, whom they very well may meet again in the Conference Finals. MACKENZIE Say what you will about Moracca and Mariachi, and believe me, we do, but there's no denying their talent. Sure none of it is wrestling related, unlike my men, the hottest tag team in professional wrestling, but I have friends in the "business" who say their talent would turn them into international film stars. And stars they'll be seeing after Simon and Ned get done with them at AnglePalooza. SIMON Talk about luck. Team Canada had Los Diablos de Fuego beat. Go re-watch the end of that match if you have to. The black dude had Moracca pinned. SCHIAVONE The black dude? The man has a name and it's Felix Strutter. SIMON The name rings a bell but I can't... Ah, now I got it. The dude from the Odd Couple, right? SCHIAVONE No, that's Felix Unger. You don't even know the names of the men Theodore paid to eliminate Los Diablos de Fuego, do you? SIMON Don't blame me. I meet hundreds of people everyday. You can't expect me to remember all their names. And who said anything about paying off people to eliminate our competition? Who do you think we are, Microsoft? SCHIAVONE How quickly you people forget. SIMON You people?! Who's the racist now, huh? :P NED All this talk about possibly meeting Los Diablos de Fuego again in the Conference Finals is premature, which, by the way, is never a problem with the Beverly Hills Blonds, ladies. They got lucky. Plain and simple. A fluke win for a fluke tag team. But as the old saying goes, if you want something done right you better do it yourself. We're gonna do it all right, and in a physical fashion at AnglePalooza. Just not in the fashion Los Diablos have in their dreams. SCHIAVONE Many of great viewers have taken exception to the homophobic undertones found... NED (smiling) I know where you're going with this. So let me state for the record I'm not homophobic. I just don't like gay people. SCHIAVONE :huh: NED No, let me rephrase that! Gay luchadors. I don't like gay luchadors, or lesbians for that matter. SIMON Unless they're really hot lesbians. NED The man law of all man laws. Unless they're really hot. Like Jennifer Beals on the L Word hot. SIMON She's a manic, you know. NED Oh, you better believe it. I tapped that well for oil and hit a gusher! SCHIAVONE And these are the type of men you've choosen to align yourself with Theodore Moneymaker? THEODORE The best money can buy. And right now we're proving greed is good. The Enterprise 2 for 2 in Anderson Cup competition. Unfortunately things didn't go quite as planned with Team Canada. I'll give the Devils their due. They stood toe to toe with one of the premier tag teams in the sport, but in a match with high stakes and big money the referee should've used common sense when Ken got injured and allowed his partner to continue in his place. Had the referee shown some compassion, the Canadians win and talk of a Blonds-Diablos Anderson Cup showdown in null and void. But like promises and bones, hearts are meant to be broken. And anyone with their heart set on seeing the Blonds and Diablos in one of the Conference championships will be greatly disappointed. You can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! Wright pats the briefcase and nods. SCHIAVONE What does he mean by that, Christian Wright? WRIGHT Nothing yourself and the world's population are not already well aware of Anthony Schiavone. The Enterprise have unlimited resources. Resources we offered to share with Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin in exchange for their #2 seeding in the Anderson Cup competition. Being the uneducated, collegiate only for their sporting prowess, simpletons that they are they declined our gentlemanly offer flat. Hmph! It's been stated by noted pheologists that there are but 3 certainties in life. Well as of today there is a fourth: never cross the Enterprise. Consider us the IRS, Moss and Benjamin, and we're coming to collect. With his trademark laugh booming from out of screen, Teddy wraps an arm around CW's shoulders. MONEYMAKER That's right. That's the kind of confidence, the kind of intensity, the kind of ruthless focus that I demand of those around me Schiavone. That's why this man right here is, as of right now, officially one of the thirty participants in the Lethal Rumble at AnglePalooza Sunday night. That's why I chose this man as The Enterprise's sole representative in that Lethal Rumble Match. We can afford, both literally and figuratively little man, to let Christian's eyes wander ever so slightly from watching Ned and Simon's back for this one night, to concentrate on outlasting those twenty-nine, nine-to-five nickel-n'-dimers who're looking to main event AngleMania. Well those men are dreamers. Christian Wright, ever since he joined up with myself, Mackenzie and The Beverly Hills Blonds... he's a [i]succeeder[/i]. And I've got full confidence that he'll do just that this Sunday. Succeed! To win the Lethal Rumble. And go on to AngleMania, to capture the OAOAST World Championship to go with those Tag Team Titles we've already got in our sights. SCHIAVONE Well, I'm sure Christian stands a very good chance. He's probably got a very favourable number... MONEYMAKER What's that supposed to mean, little man!? SCHIAVONE You said it yourself, you've got unlimited resource... WRIGHT Be silent, for it matters not what number of entrance yours truly acquires. All that shall matter is the end result. Christian Wright, Lethal Rumble victor in 2007! Wright gives a cold, hard look into the camera as he and the rest of the Enterprise exit stage right. SCHIAVONE Let's go up to the ring for more action.

I rebound in a big way after an off week. Feedback! Anderson Cup, Team Canada vs. Los Diablos de Fuego: The Enterprise paid Team Canada good money for the 2 seed. Unfortunately the deal backfired on the Canadians. Probably my favorite AC match thus far. Wasn't too long or too short, and I thought both teams meshed well together. Nice job on the finish. Exactly what KC and I were looking for. Fun/cute/some manly word segment with Jade and Heat. CH is a big guy with a big heart, which is currently broken. The impromptu AC match was a rush job, so apologizes for whatever mistakes may be in there. The important thing is, I finally came through in the clutch! Patty outdid himself this week. So many great one-liners, too little time to go through them on. His work this week will go in the OAOAST time capsule (if we had one). Zack Malibu crossing over into hostile terrority. Bruce's "This is Your Life" segment turned out better than I thought it would. It managed to be comical and serious at the same time. I don't think I'm giving anything away (and I have no knowledge of their plans) when I say the stip to the Blank/Malibu match leads you to believe the heel is finally getting his, and if that's the case, then he had one helluva run. Either way, the build has been excellent. Anderson Cup, Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright vs. The Love Doctors: Awesome match that ended with a new finisher for CW I think. The Anderson family comment was gold. 2/3 falls main event: Felt more like a PPV match than a TV ME. Real good. And a title change! Match of the Night: Tough decision. Came down to the ME and KC's Moneymaker/Wright vs. Love Doctors match, but I'll go with PR's HI-YAH tag title match. Dialogue of the Night: "Ya reckon? Coz, you know, mah heart. Broken inside, or somethin'." -- Colombian Heat Honorable mentions: "I never thought I'd meet someone who's parents were big enough pricks to name them Alix with an i and not an e." -- Alix Maria Spezia "Well, consider ol' Krista the cure for your constipation, because kind of like diarrhea, I'm about to bring you some shit you just aren't ready for." -- Krista Isadora Duncan "Well, Frank, considering that Mama Bruiser paid my bed a little visit last night, I guess that does make me a motherf**ing a whore." -- Krista Isadora Duncan

Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel As the late James Brown's "Living in America" blares in the background, the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS march to the ring waving Old Glory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following exhibition match, one fall, 10 minute time limit. Introducing first...from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave...the All-American Boys! The masked patriots salute the flag and everyone at home. COLE Interesting match-up on the way. An exhibition bout signed at the request of Officer Bosley and EMT Tim, Rescue 911, the #8 seed in the MWC Conference. Rarely do you see exhibition bouts in today's world of wrestling, but Rescue 911 felt it was important to get in a traditional tag match in preperation for their big Anderson Cup showdown next week against the top seeded Sooner Bruisers after spending much of their time competing in multi-man and other non-conventional tag matches in recent weeks. COACH Hate to say it, but it's a smart idea. They might as well get rid of any rust they may have now as opposed to next week, arguably the biggest night in their careers. For some teams the Anderson Cup will be the closest they ever get to a title shot. I do wonder how the All-American Boys feel about Rescue 911 using them as a warm up act. I know I'd be pissed if my friends thought of me as nothing more than a stepping stone to bigger and better things. COLE Don't start. I'm sure the All-American Boys are happy to lend a helping hand to their good friends. COACH When did they become friends? COLE Well, they both believe in truth, justice and the American way. COACH So do I, but that doesn't mean I'm friends with either the All-American Boys and Rescue 911. Besides, Canada is where it's at right now, you know. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The audience boos on cue, as if the commentary is being piped in the arena or at the encouragement of stage hands ala the old WCW Disney-MGM tapings; but it's for the unexpected appearance of the SOONER BRUISERS who ambush the All-American Boys! COLE What business do they have here?! These are the men scheduled to face Rescue 911 next week in the Anderson Cup and Chicks Over Dicks at Anglepalooza for the OAOAST World tag team championship, and they're wrecking havoc in the ring! Somebody stop them, damnit! COACH Big Frank and Uber living up to their promise to batter and bruise any and everyone on their way to Anglepalooza. I hope you're watching COD because this is what you have to deal with at AP. Good thing Krista has her own line of beauty products, she and Alix are gonna need everything in the warehouse to cover up their black and blue faces. A pair of big time Soonerlines knock the All-American Boys into next year. The Psycho Gremlin lifts AAB #2 overhead in a body vice as big brother scales the turnbuckles and drops the elbow! But that's not all. Included in this bruising is a top rope ELECTRIC CHAIR BULLDOG with Uber flying off to deliver the takedown on AAB #3! Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Rescue 911 arrive at the crime scene and unleash their own brand of justice, but the Bruisers don't back down one bit. All 4 men mixing it up one week before their Anderson Cup playoff. COLE We're not even in Tusla and it's still breaking down. We need help out here. Now! Scrawny officials and past their prime wrestlers-turned road agents are unable to stop the mayhem. The situation becomes so uncontrollable the boss himself, ANGLESAULT, is forced to step in and clear things up. He grabs the mic. ANGLESAULT Hey! The violence continues. ANGLESAULT Knock it off, damnit! Again his words fall on deaf ears. ANGLESAULT I said knock it off or be prepared to search for new jobs tomorrow morning! The action stops. COACH Some power. COLE That's the boss talking. ANGLESAULT Now, it looks to me you 4 can't wait until next week to fight. So I tell you what I'm going to do. First of all, Frank, Uber...you gentlemen will be fined for your actions tonight. I'll have the exact amount sometime after the telecast. Secondly, seeing that you've taken out Rescue 911's previously scheduled opponent, I'm left without a match and time to fill. I can either give them the night off or we can have your Anderson Cup match tonight. "YEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" ANGLESAULT I mean, it's not like that'll costing the company a buyrate. Free TV is free TV. So I'm with them. Your match is tonight! In fact, it starts right now! So ring the bell. * DINGDINGDING * COLE History being made live on TSM. For the first time ever 3 Anderson Cup matches in one night. Incredible! The All-American Boys are helped backstage as Uber and EMT Tim prepare to lockup. Shockingly, and I say that dripping sarcasm, Tim is overpowered and shoved to the canvas. That doesn't stop him from charging forward only to run into the brick house that is the Psycho Gremlin. Officer Bosley cheers his partner on from the apron, rallying the crowd behind Tim. In a complete act of disrespect Uber gives Tim the opportunity to place him in a headlock, which Tim accepts and is immediately shot off into the ropes. Uber braces himself as Tim shoots back on the rebound, but rather than try to run through the Gremlin again or risk being powerslammed on a leapfrog the EMT slides between Uber's legs and staggers him with a dropkick! Made in the USA right hands rattle the Psycho Gremlin to the point of nearly knocking the big man off his feet. The whip proceeds the tag and EMT Tim slingshots Officer Bosley in for the shoulderblock! COACH That got Uber off his feet. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Bosley rams Uber into the turnbuckle...but it has no effect! The Psycho Gremlin just stares and smiles, then wallops law enforcement's finest with a Soonerline! COLE Such force behind those Soonerlines. I've been told it feels like popping a ballon with a push pin. Your ears pop! Big Frank is tagged in, and he suplexes Officer Bosley overhead to the Bruisers side of the ring. The Man of Tomorrow gives his 25" anaconda some love before dropping the elbow across the sternum. ONE... TWO... Nonchalant with his cover Frank is rolled onto his side in a crucifix! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! The Superfreak rushes to his feet...and right into a standing dropkick! Proving he's smarter than your average cop, Bosley turns the match over to Tim. The EMT catches Big Frank on the way up with a running enziguri, but rather than go for the pin he heads to the top. MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE... TWO... Kickout with authority! Tim grabs Frank for an Irish whip, but the Man of Tomorrow pulls him in and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE... TWO... But only two. Still reeling from the enziguri, Frank rolls to his corner and tags out. Meanwhile, Tim seeks shelter in a netural corner, but Uber is soon there to repeatedly drive the shoulder into the midsection. He fires Tim to the far corner and follows in, only to smack his arm across the steel hook that connects the turnbuckle to the ringpost! Tim wrings the arm and drags Uber over to Bosley. Rapid-fire tags lead to a series of axe handles smashes onto the outstretched arm of the Psycho Gremlin, concluding with an armdrag takedown by Officer Bosley. Rescue 911 again with the quick tag. EMT Tim diving over the top and onto the arm of Uber with a big splash. Uber is mounted from behind as Tim places him in an armbar, grimacing in pain as Tim applies the pressure. COACH Must be something in the water, Mikey. This is the second time tonight I've agreed with a decision made by Rescue 911. They're targeting the arm of Uber. Take away the arm and you take away one of the Bruisers strongest weapons, the Soonerline. Tim goes from the offensive to the defensive in a matter of seconds as Uber powers up with him on his shoulders. Right hands to the head have little effect as Uber casually walks over to his corner and leans forward, allowing Frank to land a massive forearm shot on Tim! COLE Big Frank may have just broken the nose of EMT Tim with that shot. Right in the face. Frank knocks Bosley off the apron, causing the officer to lose his composure. He's restrained by the referee as Uber taunts him to his face. Meanwhile, Big Frank tosses Tim outside and just about bashes his brains in with a brutal CHAIRSHOT! COACH Busted! COLE And he is gushing blood, and I mean gushing. COACH The good news is, being an EMT Tim can patch himself up. Tim's thrown back in and covered by Uber. Officer Bosley doesn't even bother to breakup the pin as he's unaware of what happened, having spent the last few minutes dealing with the referee and Uber. ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Bosley watches in horror as he finally spots Tim wearing a crimson mask. Frank drapes the EMT upward on his right shoulder and rams him into the corner turnbuckles, and keeps him seated on top as he climbs to the second rope and hits a SUPER OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! BUFFER 5 minutes gone by. 5 minutes. COLE Halfway to the time limit, and I think the Sooner Bruisers are starting to become frustrated with their inability to put EMT Tim away. COACH They're having too much fun kicking Tim's ass to finish him now. ONE... TWO... This time Bosley makes the save, stomping Frank in the back of the head. Charles Robinson warns Bosley about coming in illegally, which Frank gets in on after tossing Tim outside again. Uber stalks Tim on the floor before scooping him up for a bodyslam, but Tim slips out and shoves the Psycho Gremlin shoulder-first into the ringpost! Frank turns around thinking enough time has passed for Uber to do his business and toss Tim back in. Imagine his surprise when he sees EMT Tim springboard off the top and clotheslines him. Tim's momentum takes him to his corner...and the tag! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Roundhouse kick grazes the chin of Big Frank, but enough to knock him off balance. Scoop and a slam, and a dropkick to follow. A normal man would stay down or catch a breather outside, but Frank isn't a normal man. He's the Man of Tomorrow and he has too much pride. KUNG FU FIGHTING~! Bosley in control. Irish whip, and Big Frank begins SERVING HARD TIME! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" Outside, Uber yanks Tim off the apron and slams him into the steel ring steps. He hurries in as Officer Bosley takes Frank up for his finisher, but the Superfreak floats over and grabs him in a full nelson as Uber comes off the far side with a Soonerline! ASSISTED FULL NELSON SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing onto the second round of the Anderson Cup, the SOONER...BRUUUUUUUUUUUUISERS! COLE Rescue 911 have nothing to be ashamed about. A helluva effort on their part. COACH Unlike the last time these two teams met, Rescue 911 actually put up a fight. I'll give them that. But what a second round match-up we'll have in the MWC Conference -- the Sooner Bruisers vs. Black T. COLE Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura will have that for you in a couple of weeks, fans. Right now...

Rescue 911 vs. the All-American Boys I know, screams must see. Believe me, there's a reason for it.

The last time I talked to Papacita his PC had crashed and lost everything his was working on for NR, IIRC. That and he was busy. Don't know if he's doing them for AP, but hopefully something in time for AngleMania VI.

"WAAHAAA...WAH, WAH, WAH..." There's not much to be written. Being the happy-go-lucky babyfaces that they are, the Lone Star Gunslingers simply jog to the ring flashing their pearly whites, gladly handing out high fives along the way. BUFFER Wrrrrestling fans, our next contest is a Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference ANDERSON CUP first round bout! One fall, 10 minute time limit. Introducing first, from the Lone Star State, total combine weight 507 pounds, here are THE "TEXAS TWISTER" JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS... THE LONE...STAR...GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS! SCHIAVONE Tony Schiavone, Jesse "The Body" Ventura behind the mic once again for yet another big first round match in the 2007 Anderson Cup as the Lone Star Gunslingers prepare to face Black T. A match that produced quite the thriller last year and the first real upset in the tournament's history, Jesse Ventura. VENTURA You had the #1 seed in the MWC Conference Black T squaring off against the 5th ranked Gunslingers, a team unknown to most of the fanbase outside the die-hards who closely followed the happenings of our sister promotion in Japan, HI-YAH. As you said, a thriller with an unexpected outcome. [b]Held[color="#FF8C00"]DOWN[/color]~![/b] February 9, 2006 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment [quote]Jock pulls Tony out of the ring. The two trading blows on the floor. Out of nowhere, Dan Black comes diving through the ropes and wipes Jock out with a SUICIDE DIVE! Brannigan slides back into the ring and nails Baron getting up with a knee to the side of the head. Brannigan applies a front facelock and then turns Baron's head clockwise. Baron escapes the clutches of the Rude Awakening by firing a round of quick elbow strikes to Tony's ribs and countering the Rude Awakening with a BACKSLIDE! ONE... TWO... THREE! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA NO WAY?! * DING DING DING * Baron rolls out of the ring and helps his partner up outside. The two embrace and raise each other's hand in victory as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners and advancing to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals, the team of the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERRRRRSSSSS![/quote] SCHIAVONE The Gunslingers' celebration was short-lived. The following week the Sooner Bruisers would defeat them in the MWC Conference Finals. It was also the closest Black T would get to the tag team championship for several months as they'd both become heavily involved in the civil war going on in the promotion at the time. VENTURA Black T regained the tag titles at Angleslam, but didn't hold them for long as they were dethroned a few months later at World Without End by the Sooner Bruisers. Now neither hold championship gold, as COD shocked the entire wrestling world by returning at Monday Mainframe to defeat Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright in the final portion of Tag Team Turmoil. They should be the champions. COD weren't even entered. The biggest miscarriage of justice I've ever seen in all my years in the sport. SCHIAVONE Now here comes the punchline. If only COD's mothers had miscarried them, right? VENTURA There was no punchline. You hanged yourself on that one. Good luck dealing with all the negative press. "Quiet" hits as the smoke machine goes into overdrive to blacken the entranceway. Black T emerge through the cloud of smoke to a surprising amount of cheers, which the haters quickly drown out with boos. BUFFER Their opponents in this first round bout. First, hailing from London, England, the man who has held more titles than any other man in OAOAST history, he is the "ICE HEART" DAAAAAN BLAAAAACK! His partner, residing in Hollywood U.S.A., 262 pounds...the former heavyweight champion of the world...TONYYYYY BRRRRAAAANNIGANNNNN! Together they are known as the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew, BLACK TEEEEEEEE! * DINGDINGDING * Dan Black and Jock Mulligan begin for their respective teams, locking up in the center of the ring, and it's the Texas Twister who gets the better of it, flinging Dan across with a simple armdrag. All hell breaks loose early as Tony Brannigan blindsides Jock. Black T establish their dominace by physically manhandling Jock, but it has little effect on the Texican. After a double whip into the corner Jock shoots out and clotheslines Black T, but only connects on the Ice Heart as Tony ducked. Brannigan still gets his, however, and it's right back to Dan. From out of the corner it's a TEXAS PRAYER BOOK running powerslam! ONE... TWO... Kickout! The 10 time limit a major factor in all the first round matches, Jock slaps on the IRON CLAW~! SCHIAVONE Shades of the Von Erich family. VENTURA Or Bruce Blank. He's got the best claw of them all. Jock strays from the playbook to go for the knockout punch, his discus punch, but Tony yanks Black outside to saftey. So he thinks. Jock interjects himself in the meeting of the minds, but it's he who winds up in trouble as Black T are ready and drag him out to the arena floor, clotheslining him on the guardrail. VENTURA Excellent strategy on the part of Black T. Everyone saw what the Sooner Bruisers did to the Gunslingers last week. They bruised them and bruised them bad. Jock was coughing up blood, if I remember correctly. Why not go for the throat. Haha. SCHIAVONE It's a bit barbaric, I think. VENTURA Wrestling IS barbaric. So you know what I say? All's fair in love and war, baby. The tag is made and Tony Brannigan snaps Jock's neck off the top rope, suplexing him in afterwards. Power forearms to the throat earn a warning from the referee, but it means jack to Tony who arrogantly swivels his hips. Black T make another exchange. Jock finds himself in big trouble as Tony holds him up for a Dan Black SUPERKICK! ONE... TWO... Kickout! After a snap suplex and standing headbutt find its mark, Black viciously stomps the forehead of the Texas Twister. He then sets Mulligan for a piledriver, but it's countered with a backdrop! Now it's Dan who finds himself in trouble as he's rocked by big right hands. Black on spaghetti-legs. Jock gets in a (cheap)shot on Brannigan, then turns to face Dan and... * POW * ...SHINING BLACK! VENTURA Oh, Black caught him good with that enziguiri. It may be over right here. Lying face-down Jock is helpless as Black climbs the turnbuckles and drops the KNEE onto the back of the neck! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! Black suckers Baron on the apron, thus baiting him inside so he and Tony can SPIKE CRADLE PILEDRIVER Jock! ONE... TWO... Baron saves the day and Black T are pissed. Neither of whom have a problem letting the Gunslinger and referee know about it. An innovator of offense Black delivers a butterfly backbreaker and turns it into a dragon sleeper! SCHIAVONE Given how much punishment he's taken, just how long can Jock last? Long enough for him to float over and crawl between Dan's legs as Tony charges in and collides with his partner, allowing the Gunslingers to make the tag! Baron Windels comes in wheeling and dealing bionic elbows and right hands. DOUBLE COCONUT leaves Black T bumbling around like a night out partying with Britney and Paris. Baron fires Brannigan off into the ropes and decks him with a diving lariat. Dan Black is then sent for a ride, the recipent of the fallaway slam known as the Devil's Addition! ONE... TWO... Kickout! Another whip in, and Black is placed in a sleeper hold. He reaches the ropes but Windels doesn't break, so Black falls to the floor...but Baron goes with him out and somehow keeps the sleeper in tact! Tony rushes to Dan's aid as the referee escorts Baron back in. Black returns to the apron with a glazed look in his eyes, but damn if he isn't one tough SOB, jabbing his shoulder through the ropes into the midsection of Baron Windels. His mind obviously still elsewhere following the sleeper, Black scales the turnbuckles...and is slammed off the top! Tony feels his partner's pain in the corner, which Baron adds to by dropkicking him off the apron! VENTURA Hey! What's the big idea?! SCHIAVONE All's fair in love and war, remember? VENTURA What have I told you about quoting me? Nobody quotes Jesse "The Body" other than me. The never-ending Irish whip fest continues, as Black makes another trip across the squared circle and eats a Texas sized boot to the face on the way back. Windels takes to the air and clotheslines Dan from the top! ONE... TWO... NO! Save made by Tony Brannigan, who then gives Baron a RUDE AWAKENING! SCHIAVONE No need to get up in arms, Jesse. VENTURA Don't partonize me, Schiavone. I can have you outta here in a second. Naturally, Jock is pissed and must be restrained by the referee while Dan and Tony illegally switch places. After a double take the referee counts like the fool he is. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Tony makes Baron pay for kicking out, planting him square in the center of the ring with a devasting OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE SPINEBUSTER!! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO, KICKOUT!! TONY :huh: After the initial shock wears off Tony quickly covers, hooking both legs. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Another quick cover. ONE... TWO... And another KICKOUT. Frustrated, Tony lets Black try his hand at finishing off Windels. Nasty chops and European uppercuts stagger the proud Texan, but a DVD attempt backfires as Baron is able to slip out. He hits the ropes fast and furious, ducking a European lariat to level Black with a FLYING CROSSBODY on the rebound! ONE... TWO... Kickout! Irish whip, and Baron lowers his head which Black capitalizes on being a veteran of the mat wars, hooking the head and leg for a FISHERMAN'S DDT...but Baron rolls through with an INSIDE CRADLE!! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT!!! To quell the rally and shift momentum back to his team, Black employes a side headlock to ground Windels, who scissors the head in response. The Ice Heart that he is, Black coolly floats on top to place all his weight and the pressure on Baron, garning a wry smile from the youngster... ONE... TWO... ...as he BRIDGES UP to perform a BACKSLIDE! SCHIAVONE My goodness, they're gonna do it again! VENTURA That's how the Gunslingers won last year, with a backslide. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Gut wrench suplex keeps Black down so Baron Windels can tag out, but Tony has other ideas in mind, stepping in to cut off the tag. Brannigan rakes the laces of the boots across Baron's face and drags him to the Black T side of the ring. Dan worms his way over and legally tags in Tony. Snapmare followed by a power forearm...NO, Baron moves. Brannigan gets up in a world of hurt and walks into a LEAPING DDT! "YEEEAAAAHHHH!" Baron covers, but Black smartly enters to disrupt the proceedings. That brings in Jock to support his teammate, which only diverts the referee's attention to him and that's exactly what Dan hoped for. PITCH BLACK on Windels! Not to mention the illegal switch and cover! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT!! Furious, Black unleashes some of that English fire on Baron, who returns in kind! Windels blocks a punch and answers with a bionic elbow. Again and again. Baron Windels rocking and rolling, knocking Black off his feet with a wind-up double axehandle smash to the face! With Tony still down and now Dan Black Baron is free to make... ...[b][color="#FF0000"]THE HOT TAG[/color][/b]~! Black T are no match for the fresh Gunslinger from the Lone Star state. Jock Mulligan having his way with the former 3-time OAOAST World tag team champions. Right hands, scoop slams, dropkicks, atomic drops, even another double coconut -- a bit of everything! Discus punch takes care of Tony, and Black gets caught charging in with a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE... TWO... NO! Jock to the top...MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT!! The crowd on their feet as rabid as can be. The Gunslingers get ready to cowboy up, twirling an imaginary lasso to signal for their Lone Star Lasso finisher. Baron lifts Dan in a bearhug as Jock hits the ropes...and gets knee'd in the back by Tony Brannigan! SCHIAVONE Talk about possibly snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Black T moments away from being sent home a second year in a row by the Gunslingers. If they had hit Dan Black with the Lone Star Lasso it would've been over. VENTURA They didn't and now we have a brawl in the ring. Both teams better watch or they'll be disqualified, meaning they'll both be eliminated from the tournament. The Gunslingers treat Black T like an ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK, drilling them with a pair of flying shoulderblocks. Black headbutts Jock in the midsection as Baron and Tony take to the floor, then bars the arm for a crossface but Jock maneuvers his way out and shoots Black into the ropes for a baaack bodydrop. Black retreats to the corner and is followed in. The fans count along as Jock hammers away on Dan in the corner. Another whip in, and Black just runs through Jock with a shoulder tackle. Off the near side and over a leapfrog Dan outsmarts the inexperience Mulligan, faking going over the top of a drop-down to apply the HEART OF ICE crossface! VENTURA I predict this one's over, Schiavone. Few men have ever gotten out of this, if any. Tony does his part, grabbing ahold of Baron outside and driving him into the guardrail. Jock does his best to hold on but soon TAPS. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER LLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and advancing on to the MWC Semi-finals... BLAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEEEEEE! SCHIAVONE And so they have done it. Black T avenging their loss to the Lone Star Gunslingers last year, moving on to face the winner of either the Sooner Bruisers-Rescue 911 match later in the tournament. VENTURA With all due respect to Rescue 911, they don't stand a chance against the big Sooners. On second thought, maybe they do. If COD ball up and accept the Bruisers demand for a rematch, Big Frank and Uber will have to drop out because they'd be the champions. Maybe COD will take their place. Wouldn't that be something? SCHIAVONE It would be a first, that's for sure. Something that wouldn't be, a commerical break!

Solid show to start the new year. Patty was on fire this week. He didn't disappoint with his match and promos, which were full of quoteable one-liners. The LSGS showed charisma for the first time ever. at COD's horse entrance and makeover to the tag title. Just when you think you've seen it all in the OAOAST, a wrestler gets eaten by a mountain lion! Alf's AC match was 10-times better than mine. Interesting twist having the Lone Wolf downplay his past in order to focus solely on being a wrestler. The New Year's Knockout was worth the wait. Really enjoyed it. Didn't expect it, but pulled for a Dance Dance Dragon miracle. Match of the Night: New Year's Knockout (as of time of feedback)

Anderson Cup First Round Action Beverly Hills Blonds (4) vs. Los Diablos de Fuego (5) America's Team (2) vs. Hells Hitmen (7)

Like the "exclusive footage" opening on the Royal Rumble 1999 home video (which sounds like what you're saying) or the really old school 5-6 promos in a row type of thing? As for the show... Los Diablos de Fuego vs. Beverly Hills Blonds Black T are available for the Rumble as well. More characters are open if needed.

[b]And now the [color="#2E8B57"]ENTER[/color][color="#808000"]PRISE[/color] proudly presents...OAOAST BACKTRACKER. [color="#FF0000"]New Year's[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Spectacular[/color]: [color="#800080"]Monday[/color] [color="#FF8C00"]Mainframe[/color][/b] [quote]Mariachi is beaten so bad Los Conquistadors set him up for their double team finisher, the slingshot clothesline...but Uno slingshots Mariachi too hard towards the corner, enabling him pick up some serious air and take Dos down off the top with a HURRICARANA! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! ONE... TWO... THREE... Still in disbelief, Uno is unable to break the pin. He snaps out of it and lunges at Mariachi, who brings him down with a drop toehold. Los Diablos then place the barbed wire tiara on his head and hit the spike tombstone piledriver they call THE SODOMIZER! EIGHT... NINE... TEN! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Mentally and physically exhausted, Los Diablos have nothing left in the tank when they're attacked by the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Blonds have their way with Los Diablos, beating them chairs and Moracca's own rhinestone belt until OAOAST officials are able to arrival and restore order.[/quote] [b]This has been OAOAST BACKTRACKER, paid for by the [color="#2E8B57"]ENTER[/color][color="#808000"]PRISE[/color]: Never mess with the rich and famous![/b] Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER The following contest, first round ANDERSON CUP action set for one fall with a 10 minute time limit. Currently on their way to the ring, the 4th ranked team in Los Infernales Conference; they are accompanied by the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO...from Beverly Hills 90210, total combined weight 460 pounds, the former heavyweight tag team champions of the world..."THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD, "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!! Full of bravado the Beverly Hills Blonds scroll down the red carpet grinning from ear to ear. So exuberent Ned thanks Jesus for healing his groin injury. As they reach ringside, one of their assistants passes by to place Mackenzie's director's chair in the Blonds corner, bowing at her feet so Mackie can step up and onto the chair. VENTURA Do you know how many men would pay to have Mackie walk on them, Schiavone? Wait a minute. Why am I even asking you? You're one of them! SCHIAVONE There's no better feeling than a 6 inch heel digged into your back. Uh, I mean...Hi there, fans. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura here to call the next match for you. A first round bout in the 2007 Anderson Cup we thought would be Los Diablos de Fuego vs. the Beverly Hills Blonds, but surprise surprise, the Blonds went Nick Saban and found a way to weasel out of a commitment yet again! This time it was a gift courtesy of Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker who bought -- BOUGHT, Jesse -- the #2 seed from Team Canada for them. VENTURA How great of a boss is Teddy, Tony? The 2 seed had to cost a pretty penny or two. Probably a 6 figure sum. Chump change to a man like Moneymaker, but it goes to show how he'll reward his associates for their hard work. As Mackie takes her seat, Gavin Rossdale's "Adrenaline" hits and the only bodybuilding tag team in OAOAST history rush onto the stage chewing on power bars and gulping down the lastest NRG drink. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight 515 pounds, the team of BIFF ATLAS and FLEX PHILLIPS... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R...G!!! NRG enter the squared circle and the Blonds hightail it to discuss strategy with the woman who knows Biff and Flex best, their former manager Mackenzie DeCenzo. SCHIAVONE The tension is high anytime these two teams get together as it was the Beverly Hills Blonds Mackenzie left NRG to manage, publically firing Nutrition's Real Gurus in front of thousands of fans and millions of viewers worldwide. In fact, it was the Beverly Hills Blonds who defeated NRG in their OAOAST return and on the first edition of Syndicated. You better believe Biff and Flex haven't forgotten about that, just as Los Diablos de Fuego haven't forgotten about the trauma the Blonds have caused to them. They want a piece of Simon and Ned in the worst way. VENTURA Imagine that. Los Diablos actually have something in common with the opposite sex! They both want a piece of the hottest tag team in wrestling today, the Beverly Hills Blonds. SCHIAVONE You know what I mean, Jesse. Ned faked an injury to avoid wrestling Los Diablos at Monday Mainframe, "willing" his way through the tag team turmoil, then along with Simon attacked Moracca and Mariachi after they just had a grueling Mexican Deathmatch vs. Los Conquistadors. VENTURA Hey, Ned said it himself -- it was a miracle. Blame Jesus. When you think about it, it's not really surprising. Los [i]Diablos[/i] de Fuego, [i]Devils[/i] of the Fire. Put two and two together. It was an act of God. Haha. * DINGDINGDING * Everyone take their places as the bell sounds. Ned Blanchard and Flex Phillps to start. They lockup, and Blanchard is overpowered, slammed to the mat. He rushes to his feet and quickly locks back up, only to be slammed again. Ned bails outside to gather his senses and has a few words with Mackie and Simon before re-entering. The Handsome Hustler clasps his hands together and asks for a test of strength Grecko Roman knucklelock. Flex obliges...and is kicked in the gut! Blanchard then hammers away, smashing Flex into the top turnbuckle prior to STOMPING A MUDHOLE AND WALKING IT DRY! JIVIN' J.R. STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! VENTURA What's that fat Okie doing here? JIVIN' J.R. I'm so BAH GAWD lonely. SCHIAVONE You better run outta here like a scalded dog, Jim, or Jesse's probably gonna toss you out. Following a tag, the Blonds whip Flex into the ropes but miss the double back elbow, and are floored on the rebound by a clothesline! Biff steps in to even the odds. Dumb bell rights stagger the Blonds, as Biff shoots Ned in and wastes him with a big boot. Biff exits beating his chest ala Tarzan but is soon back in as the legal man. He looks to land Snake Eyes when Simon slips off and dropkicks him into the corner, immediately rolling him up in a school boy! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Atlas reverses an Irish whip and presses Simon overhead, then tosses him into the charging Ned Blanchard! As Ned rolls out, Simon is launched into the corner where he smacks his head on the turnbuckle and stumbles back into the clutches of NRG. Not wanting to risk going to the time limit Biff and Flex go for the win now, looking to hit their NRG Burst, a press slam/gutbuster combo...but Blanchard sneaks in and CLIPS FLEX'S KNEE! Biff makes the mistake of letting Simon go to after Ned, which allows Simon to clip him from behind as well! VENTURA Things not looking so good for NRG anymore. SCHIAVONE Tag made. Ned Blanchard the legal man. Ned fires Biff across the ring and drives the elbow into the chest, knocking Atlas off his feet. He follows up with a snapmare and comes off the second turnbuckle with the point of the elbow to the sternum. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! The Handsome Hustler complains about a slow count. He puts a halt to his arguement to throw Biff outside and push Flex off the apron, baiting him into the ring while Simon sends Biff into the guardrail. Singleton chicken-wings Atlas and holds his head up as Mackie comes over and SLAPS the taste out of Biff's mouth. SCHIAVONE Such blatant disregard for the rules. Nick Patrick catches Simon with Biff and orders him to back off, to which Simon acts like he's just trying to help Biff back in. Ned springs off the middle rope and drives the boot into the side of the head repeatedly. Blanchard tags Simon and slams Atlas in the center of the ring. Singleton connects with a flying elbow, hooking the leg as he makes the cover. ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Simon brings Biff over to the corner, smashing him face-first into the turnbuckle and unloading with a series of stinging knife-edge chops. Irish whip and a tag by the Blonds. Simon takes Biff down with a drop toehold while Ned comes off the near side and drives the point of the elbow into the back of the head in succession. The Blonds with another quick tag and double-team maneuver -- DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! SCHIAVONE The Blonds doing an excellent job keeping Biff isolated in their corner, Jesse. VENTURA Tag Team 101. Simon chokes Biff and earns the wrath of Nick Patrick for his blatant disregard of the rules. Simon innocently moves up, placing the knee under Biff's throat and throwing his arms up in the air to argue his point. Nick Patrick's been around the block long enough to know the game Simon Singleton is up to, demanding he breaks the choke or get disqualified. 1... 2... 3... 4... Simon walks away and taunts Flex with the only poses he knows -- Hulk Hogan's. Singleton incites the crowd even further by cupping his ear ala the Hulkster. Simon casual walks back over to Biff and stomps the head. Following a suplex Simon climbs to the top, balling up his fist, the spotlight focused in the center of the ring as he dives off... ...AND SMACKS HIS CHIN ON BIFF'S BARE FEET! SCHIAVONE Biff got the boots up! VENTURA Unbelieveable. It looked like Singleton had a clear shot, but at the last moment Biff got his feet up. Both men down. Now who can make the tag? Simon crawls to his corner holding onto his chin, Biff unable to do much other than roll onto his side. As Tony Schiavone predicted, the Blonds are the first to make the tag. The fresher Ned Blanchard stepping in and punishing Atlas with more elbows to the sternum. He scapes Biff off the mat and connects with a round of rights, whipping Atlas to the ropes, only to have him duck under a back elbow. Blanchard stands his ground, waiting for Biff to come back at him. He leaps up, but so does Biff...and the two COLLIDE IN MID-AIR! VENTURA Oh, they butted heads. Atlas and Blanchard both had the same idea in mind. I think Blanchard took the worse of it, Tony. They both cracked heads, but it was Biff Atlas who was coming in full speed ahead. Both men lucky that didn't bust them open. Ned mounts Biff from behind to prevent him from getting any closer to his corner, peppering the back of the neck with forearm smashes. He brings Atlas up to his knees, hammering the side of the face with illegal closed fists. Out of desperation Biff wraps his hands around Ned's neck and rises up, delivering a jawbreaker that buys him enough time to... ...MAKE THE (HOT) TAG! Simon picks up the workload while Ned is down, sprinting all the way across the ring to meet Flex head-on, and gets blasted with a slingshot shoulderblock for his trouble. Ned makes his move as Flex returns to his feet, charging the man known to his mother as George Marcos Phillips with his hands locked together overhead, only to get caught with a powerslam! Flex Phillps cleaning house, hip tossing Singleton to the other side of the ring! Mackenzie climbs up on the apron and is picked up by Flex! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA Hey! How dare Flex Phillps put his hands on a lady. Who does he think he is, Terry Taylor and Rick Martel? Fortunately for Mackenzie, the Blonds come to her recuse, drilling Phillps with a pair of knees to the back. Mackie makes a safe landing and quickly exits. The Blonds unleash an offensive assault on Flex, beating him down to the mat before shooting him to the ropes. Flex ducks under a double clothesline, the Blonds momentum taking them to and back off the ropes, giving Biff enough time to come join Flex in mowing down the Blonds with stereo diving shoulderblocks! The force sends Ned rolling out to the floor, where Mackie helps him up while Flex works Simon over in the corner. Biff notices Ned and Mackie together outside and hits the ropes, but Mackie sees him coming and moves Ned out of the way, causing Biff to crash and burn on the arena floor! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Inside, Simon counters the FLEX CAPACITATOR spinning sideslam into a DDT. He goes up to the top as Ned does the same on the opposite corner. They leap off at the same time and hit... SCHIAVONE ...the Atomic Blond! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing on to the second round... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!! VENTURA The Blonds move on to face the winner of D*LUX vs. the South Central Militia. SCHIAVONE And we'll have that for you next week, along with Black T vs. the Lone Star Gunslingers. More action still to come. Stay tuned!

Promo to go on sometime BEFORE Alf's America's Team-Hells Hitmen match. COLE We're just about ready to go with our first Anderson Cup bout of the night, but I understand Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker has requested interview time to deliver a major announcement. With that, let's send it over to our broadcast colleague "Mean" Gene Okerlund. OKERLUND Theodore Moneymaker, you asked for this time. The forum is all yours. THEODORE Asked isn't the word, Okerlund. Paid for. That's the power of money, baby. It can buy anything or anyone. MUAHAHAHAHA! Months ago I made the decision to invest in the hottest property on the market, SMN Productions, and instantaneously became a major player in the world of wrestling. You know why, little man? Because when money talks people listen. Don't believe me, just ask Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera, Team Canada. They've graciously accepted my offer to acquire the #2 seed in Los Infernales Conference which I'm proud to present to the Beverly Hills Blonds. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! SIMON & NED :D :) OKERLUND Are you telling me you've bought the #2 seed for the Beverly Hills Blonds?! THEODORE Lock, stock and barrel. An incentive for winning the 2006 Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year. OKERLUND But that means...that means Los Diablos de Fuego will have to face... THEODORE Team Canada. HAHAHAHAHAHA! OKERLUND But what happens should they both meet up in the Conference Finals? SIMON We'll worry about that when the time comes. OKERLUND Then you better start worrying. Need I remind you, Team Canada won last year's Tag Team World Cup. NED Yeah, last year. Their purpose is to defeat Los Di-- I mean, uh... OKERLUND Say it. To defeat Los Diablos de Fuego. Theodore bought the 2 seed so you guys wouldn't have to face them now or later in the tournament. NED Anyway, I'd like to give thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ... OKERLUND Oh, you gotta be kidding me. NED I'm most certainly not. I was in serious pain a few nights ago, you know, from my groin injury, and I just got down on my hands and knees and prayed to the Lord after my daughter Maya told me about Krista's recent outburst at her school to protest her best friend's mother saying a prayer to keep them safe. I figured God would smile upon me I denounced that woman, and he did. The next morning I woked up feeling the best I've had in weeks. A true miracle! OKERLUND A load of bull if you ask me. SIMON Well, we didn't. So there. :P OKERLUND A load of bull if you ask me. You're the most disingenuous men I've ever had the misfortunte of coming across. SIMON And you've been around Hogan, so that's a compliment! THEODORE (whistles) Moss, Benjamin...come here for a second, will ya. OKERLUND Theodore Moneymaker calling for Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, America's Team. Gentlemen, welcome. THEODORE Now, I don't know if you've heard, but earlier today I finalized a deal with Team Canada to purchase the #2 seed in their bracket and want to extend the same offer to you. BENJAMIN You want to buy our spot for you and CW? THEODORE Exactly. MOSS Just how much are we talking about here? THEODORE Oh, believe me, a very healthy sum in cold...hard...cash. BENJAMIN What do you think, man? MOSS I don't know. Is the girl included? "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" BENJAMIN (licking his chops) Heh. Yeah, I'd like some of that. MACKEZNIE Excuse me?! THEODORE Hey. Just who do you think you're talking to? I'm giving you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If you want to pass on the offer like two morons, go ahead, but don't try to get over at my expense. MOSS Eh, we'll take our chances. * WHAP * Theodore is staggered by a SLAP to the face. The Blonds and CW having to catch their boss before he falls on his ass on worldwide television. SIMON Medic! We need a medic! I think a tooth may be loose! BENJAMIN (to Gene) Sometimes it's not all about the benjamins, you know. OKERLUND I guess not. Theodore Moneymaker's notion money can by anything or anyone proven to be wrong. We'll be right back. * COMMERICAL BREAK *

I've been thinking about that myself. Didn't say anything because I don't know the answer to that. I guess it depends on whether or not we think he'll be back at all. The last time I talked to him he sounded pretty burnt out. As for EWC, have no problems with him coming onboard if he's gonna be more active in the posting of shows like it seems with him agreeing to post AP.

How about AnglePalooza, January 28th? With Adam's departure I've had to take on his PPV duties, so an extra helper would be great. Anyway, heck of a show, fellas. Hopefully COD returning shocked the hell outta all of you. Yes, he's back too. Consider it our Christmas present to you. Belated as it may be. "True Life: I Got Beat by A Girl" and "Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!" are of the funniest names for a wrestling move I've ever heard. The matches were all top notch. PPV quality indeed. Any one deserving of MOTN honors, but that tag title match exceeds my expections so... Match of the Night: Tag Team Turmoil Honorable mention to the Triple Threat OAOAST Title match. And I'm really surprised my character didn't do the job in the main event . Thanks. Line of the Night: "It's his groin. He's in there with two Doctors with a serious injury and instead of helping him out, they're attacking him!"

Whoops. Sorry about that. Just edited in. I was distracted by that awesome BSU/OU game last night.

I'll send my writings and KC's match (tag title) to PR, just so you all know.

To go on sometime after the Diablos-Conquistadors and KC's tag title match, please. Hey wrestling fans, hear the news? The 3rd annual Anderson Cup is about to hit your tube 16 teams, 2 conferences, But only one team will receive a title shot at AngleMania VI Now listen up, a word to the wise Be sure to catch all the action as it happens live TSM is the place to be, starting January 4th you can catch all the happenings So don't miss a minute, the action will be hot and heavy With the finals taking place on Syndicated February 23rd, 2007! [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/papacita/OAOAST/syndicatedannouncers.jpg] SCHIAVONE The only New Year's wrestling program worth watching is back on the air. Specials thanks to Krazy Kurt for the Anderson Cup rap. Moments away from revealing the 2007 Anderson Cup bracket which is hot off the presses. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura happy to be with you on this New Year's night... VENTURA (scoffs) Speak for yourself. I'd rather be home than here with you. SCHIAVONE Gee, thanks alot, Jess. VENTURA Hey, I tell it like it is. You know that. But am I pumped for the 3rd annual Anderson Cup. It was my pleasure to call last year's Anderson Cup, just as it's always your pleasure to work with the Body, Schiavone, and let me tell you, there isn't another sporting event anywhere in the world than compares to it. The Anderson Cup is bigger and wilder than March Madness and more unpredictable than the NFL playoffs. As the song goes -- 16 teams, 2 conferences, but only one team will receive a title shot at AngleMania VI. I can't wait! SCHIAVONE Luckily, the wait is over. Here now are the 2007 Anderson Cup brackets. Cue: Trumpet Fanfare [b][color="#FF0000"]BOOM~![/color] [color="#4169E1"]BOOM~![/color] [color="#FFA500"]BOOM~![/color] [color="#00FF00"]BOOM~![/color][/b] [color="#FF0000"] [color="#FF0000"][b]LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE[/b][/color] [/color] Heavenly Rockers (1) v. Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew (8) [b]Beverly Hills Blonds (4) v. Los Diablos De Feugo (5)[/b] D*LUX (3) v. South Central Militia (6) Team Canada (2) v. NRG (7) [b][color="#2E8B57"]MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNCECTION CONFERENCE[/color][/b] Sooner Bruisers (1) v. Rescue 911 (8) Black T (4) v. Lone Star Gunslingers (Unranked) CW and Moneymaker (3) v. Love Doctors (6) [b]America's Team (2) v. Hell's Hitmen (7)[/b] SCHIAVONE My goodness, Jesse! Get a load of that first round match-up. VENTURA Now wait a minute. That's gotta be a typo, Schiavone. One helluva typo if you ask me. The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. Los Diablos de Fuego? No way. SCHIAVONE I told you these were hot off the presses. Boy did that elaborate groin injury come back to bite the Blonds in the ass. After what they did to Los Diablos earlier in the night, I don't know if I'd want to face them 3 days from now. Imagine the mood they'll be in! VENTURA Huh. How they'll get out of this one I don't know. But that's a helluva line-up for this year's Cup. The two Tag Team World Cup finalists drawing the #2 seeds, while the Heavenly Rockers and Sooner Bruisers return as the depending conference champions after both lost in the tag title match. SCHIAVONE So our first two opening round matches will be the Beverly Hills Blonds vs. Los Diablos de Fuego and Hell's Hitmen vs. America's Team. This year's Anderson Cup is expected to be the best yet, so don't miss a minute of the action beginning this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! * COMMERICAL BREAK *

Yeah. The show was moving along nicely and then, boom, a rapid-fire let's take it home finish, sorta like my Monday Mainframe match. Don't blame you though. I'm not sure I'd be able to do a show like that on New Year's eve. Much thanks for doing so. Although many of the categories were close, the PPV Match of the Year was the hardest to pick, along with the TV MOTY IMO.

Fun show. Congrats to all the winners. The vote breakdown was interesting. Lots of tight races. Alf-Brock from Zero Hour was robbed! Now we know the man who did it!

MEAN GENE One of the more, shall we say...unique match-ups of the evening features a battle that began over the desecration of an inflatable sheep doll. MARIA Oh, no. Did he die in the war? MEAN GENE Uh, in a matter of speaking, yes. The war between Los Diablos de Fuego and Los Conquistadors. MARIA That's so sad. I bet his loved ones are maaaaad. MEAN GENE Disturbing but funny nonetheless. Anyway, Maria, sweetheart, why don't we reveal the final tallies. Fans had the option of choosing to see a Mexican deathmatch, a barbed wire coal miner's glove match or an inflatable sheep on a pole match, persumably the remains of El Ovéja, the beloved Los Diablos de Fuego masoct executed not long ago on worldwide television. And the fans voted overwhelmingly to see... a) Mexican Deathmatch 60% b) Barbed Wire Coal Miner's Glove 1% c) Inflatable Sheep On A Pole 39% MEAN GENE (CONT'D) ...a Mexican deathmatch! I guess the memory of Sting vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts haunts the minds of every wrestling fan, as the coal miner's glove -- barbed wire coal miner's glove -- match receives only 1% of the vote while the idea of an inflatable sheep on a pole intrigued 39% of the fanbase. For those who have never witnessed a Mexican deathmatch, the rules are quite simple: After a pinfall is made the man pinned has till the count of 10 to return to his feet or his team will lose. Basically a last man standing match with scattered pinfalls. With that, Michael Buffer take it away! Call Me (Call Me) BUFFER Wrestling fans, the rules have been explained so let's meet the participants! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by their adviser MACKENZIE DECENZO...the meanest and baddest men in Latin America... LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! Waiting ringside for Mackie and Los Conquistadors are OAOAST agents Terry Taylor, Rick Martel and referees Nick Patrick and Jack Doan, the latter of whom have both been assigned to the match. MACKENZIE :huh: (screeching) Noooooo! COLE Whatever was said isn't sitting too well with Mackenzie DeCenzo. She is irate. Mackie argues with the officials as Jack relays the message to ring announcer Michael Buffer. Even the non-English speaking Conquistadors know this isn't good news. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I have just been informed Mackenzie DeCenzo has been BARRED FROM RINGSIDE on direct orders from the boss himself, Anglesault! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Yeah, yeah! Excellent call. Get her outta here. COACH This isn't right, Mikey. Look at those two brutes, Taylor and Martel, manhandling poor little Mackenzie. Los Conquistadors try to free their advisor as she's escorted backstage by OAOAST officials, to no avail. They don't have too much time to complain because... Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go BUFFER Their opponents...from sunny Cabo San Lucas, the sexiest tag team in all of Mehico, MARIACHI and MORACCA... LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO! Having learned a thing or two from their tagging with Dance Dance Dragon, Los Diablos dance out onto the stage, bumping and humping guardrails on their way to the ring. The pink and yellow lights flashing, "It's Raining Men" blaring through the loud speakers. Moracca hands a teenage boy his sombrero before he and Mariachi hop on the apron and slingshot in, not wasting anytime going after their beloved mascot's murders. * DINGDINGDING * Los Conquistadors are smashed into opposite turnbuckles and whipped across the ring in an "X" formation. Los Diablos charge in and monkey flip the Conquistadors out of the corner, finishing the rapid series of moves with duel dropkicks to the knees. While Moracca follows up with another dropkick, to the head, Mariachi rides Dos like a horse, spanking him as he yells “Giddy up!” COACH These guys are an embarrassment to the company, to the country. Hell, they're not even here legally! To think they could one day become tag team champions is horrifying. Uno and Dos seek shelter outside but Los Diablos have none of that, running up the ropes and somersaulting onto Los Conquistadors! COLE The action is fast and furious to start. Moracca tossing Uno, or the man we persume is Uno, back in. These Conquistadors hard to tell apart. Fortunately OAOAST officials decided to assign 2 referees to follow the action. Springboard legdrop finds its mark, but Uno kicks out of Moracca's cover before the referee even has a chance to count. An early message to Los Diablos de Fuego that it's not over yet. Stinging overhand chops keep Uno rattled as Mariachi hooks up with his partner inside. The ambigously flamboyant duo take Uno around the world in a tilt-a-whirl, slamming him into the canvas flapjack style. Upon seeing Dos return to his feet, Mariachi heads to the ropes and grabs onto the top as he swings himself over and right onto the Golden Boy, snapping him to the ground with a huracarrana! Los Diablos trade places, with Mariachi sliding in as Moracca steps out on the apron and catches Dos on the way up with a running cannonball! Inside, Mariachi shoots Uno into the ropes and handsprings up onto his shoulders, twisting around to perform a flying headscissors! Then he flies off the top for a hurricarana, which Uno counters into a powerbomb! 1... 2... Kickout! To add insult to injury, Uno hits Mariachi with his own piledriver! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Conquistadors! Mariachi now has till the count of 10 to make it back to his feet or lose the match for his team. Despite no official rest period, that's exactly how the 10 count serves as. It's anything but as Los Conquistadors look to finish Moracca as well, lifting him up for a double suplex outside...but he floats over and clotheslines both Conquistadors into the crowd, pulls in the guardrail and asks for everyone to get back as he springs off the middle rope, twisting and turning in midair before moonsaulting onto Los Conquistadors! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * COLE A double pin! How 'bout that? BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! Los Conquistadors now have till the count of 10 to make it back to their feet or lose the match. COLE You heard it, fans. Since both men got pinned both must return to their feet, otherwise the match is over and Los Diablos win. Lost in the chaos, Mariachi, still down from the piledriver. FOUR... FIVE... SIX... As the slowest 10 count in history ensues, Moracca climbs back into the ring and proceeds to administer MOUTH-TO-MOUTH...with extra tongue! COLE Well, uh... COACH That's one of the most uncomforable situations I've ever been around. How do you call that? SEVEN... Mariachi comes to at eight, thankful to his knight in shining armor. Both masked men stare into each other's eyes. And I will always love you. I will always love you. You, my darling you. Hmm. COLE We apologize for the audio difficulties, ladies and gentlemen. Apparently a glitch in our sound system. Los Conquistadors help each other up to break their countout at six. As they hop over the railing, the golden duo are psyched out by sight of the two flaming luchadors fastly approaching. Being men of style Los Diablos adjust in mid-move, hurdling over the top rope, landing safely on the apron. They kick Los Conquistadors in the head and then connect with stereo ASAI MOONSAULTS! 1... 2... Kickout x2! Dos is thrown back in, while Moracca and Uno rage battle outside. On the bad end of things Uno grabs Moracca by the tights and posts him, following it up with a RING BELL SHOT that cuts through the pink mask and skin! 1... 2... 3! BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Conquistadors. COACH Now [i]this[/i] is what we came to see. COLE Moracca has been lacerated and lacerated deeply. Los Conquistadors have drawn first blood! ONE.... TWO... THREE... FOUR... Meanwhile, inside, Dos is trapped in a single-leg crab which Mariachi turns into a bow and arrow. But he leaves his upper torso exposed, and Uno makes him pay for it with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! Los Conquistadors place Mariachi on the top turnbuckle for a super backdrop, but Dos' leg buckles as they're about to lift off, allowing Mariachi to slip out over and crack both Conquistadoors heads together, knocking Uno down to the arena floor. Mariachi settles Dos on the top and hits a mind-blowingly awesome REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER!! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! Mariachi rushes to the aid of Moracca, bringing him to his feet to break the countout at nine. COACH What's up with these counts? They're taking forever. I counted Moracca out minutes ago. COLE The referees aren't operating on "Coach Time." They're given the wrestlers every chance to make it back to their feet. They understand the importance of this match to both teams. With a pause in the action perhaps the hottest looking SECURITY GUARD in the world, who looks alot like Mackenzie DeCenzo, appears out of nowhere and hands Uno a GUCCI PURSE. The purse produces a one size too small BARBED WIRE TIARA which is used to "CROWN" Mariachi! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Do you know who that was? COACH I couldn't tell from here. COLE Don't give me that. That was Mackenzie DeCenzo and you know it. She handed Uno that damn purse. First it was a glove wrapped in barbed wire, now it's a tiara wrapped in barbed wire! COACH Jesus probably wishes he'd look as good as Mariachi does right now. Beats the hell outta a loin cloth. COLE How blasphemous! As if it couldn't get any worse for Mariachi, Los Conquistadors hit a spike piledriver for the sole purpose of driving the barbed wire tiara deeper into the skull. Rather than go for the pin and the possible knockout, they seek to humilate Mariachi even further, pulling a TABLE out from underneath the ring and set it outside. Before they have the opportunity to put Mariachi through the table, Moracca returns en fuego. Bloody, battered and beaten but still full of mucha lucha, Moracca frustrates Los Conquistadors using his speed to strike fast and avoid capture. Charging forward, Uno and Dos miss grabbing ahold of Moracca as he crawls under a double clothesline attempt and nails them both with a running BUTT thump! COLE I've heard of using your head, but your BUTT? COACH Believe you me, Los Diablos use their butts as much as they use their heads. Go to any "singles bar" and you'll find him. Moracca stays on the attack, firing a Conquistador into the ropes, but it's reversed. Moracca remains cool under pressure and performs a moonsault off the second rope, but nobody's home. Luckily, he's able to land on his feet...until Dos clotheslines him straight to hell. Moracca rolls out to the floor to avoid being pinned, bringing himself back up with the aid of the guardrail. No time for a breather though. Dos whips Uno across the ring, giving his partner extra momentum as he dives through the ropes and... * THUD * ...eats a CHAIRSHOT! COLE Oh, my! Uno may be-- no, he is busted open! Moracca grabbing a ringside fan's chair as a weapon. Here's the cover! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! You've heard of a pissed off prep, now get a load of a pissed off Conquistador. As Jack Doan counts Uno out on the floor, Dos yanks Moracca onto the apron and gouges the eyes. Blinded, Moracca swings wildly as Dos understandably gets the better end of the exchange. Focused on the task at hand Dos doesn't see Mariachi sneak up and dropkick him towards Moracca, who sorta monkey flips Dos into the air and face-first into the ringpost! Uno crumbles to the ground and is soon surrounded by drips of blood on the protective mats. Another victim in this deathmatch. He gets up groggy and walks right into a hurricarana from the apron...but he manages to catch Moracaa in midair and slam him straight back into the ringpost!! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Conquistadors! The pin is made just as Uno gets up, ending his count at eight. He doesn't have long to celebrate Dos' pinfall, brought down by Mariachi's infamous springboard seated senton into compromising position. Compromising position because Mariachi passes up the pin in favor of dishing out more punishment, painfully removing the barbed wire tiara from his head to stuff it in the face of Uno...but Dos comes along and saves the day. The two Conquistadors pound on Mariachi, strangling him with his own arm tassel as Uno viciously grinds the tiara into the face! ONE... TWO... THREE... COLE He's a human being, damnit! COACH Must be an interrogation method used in Latin America. They believe in hardcore violence down there. What utter bruality. But great teamwork. After getting busted open by the ringpost Uno needed some much needed time to recover and Dos gave him just that, lying a beatdown on that peasent Mariachi. FOUR... FIVE... SIX... Dos literally drags Mariachi around the ring by the tassel wrapped around his neck! Mariachi desperately tries to escape the Conquistador's clutches, every breath he takes possibly being his last. They reach the timekeeper's table and Dos goes straight for the ring bell, taking his eyes off Mariachi long enough for him to blind his fellow mask competitor with the Los Diablos de Fuego trademark SOMBRERO! From one trademark to another, in Mariachi's case, as the PITCH FORK is jabbed into Dos' gut and then across his back! Speaking of which, Uno jumps on Mariachi, riding him to the ground. With the action having moved across the ring, Moracca is forgotten on the flip side. Which is okay by him as he's given all the time in the world to rest. He watches as Los Conquistadors lay Mariachi on the table already set up on the floor. Uno makes sure Mariachi stays down as Dos brings in another table, stacking it on top of the one with Mariachi. COLE Oh, my. What do Los Conquistadors have in mind? COACH Pain and destruction! Apparently Los Conquistadors were never Boy Scouts, as Mariachi manages to wiggle free just when Dos is about to be launched off the top. You know what happens next. If not: Moracca crotches Dos on the turnbuckles and knocks Uno off the apron and through the stack of tables! That riles up the crowd and Los Diablos de Fuego. Moracca sucks Dos back into the ring in a REAR NAKED CHOKE W/DRY HUMPING~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE (disgusted) Aw, what's he doing here?! He being THEODORE MONEYMAKER. The Enterprise CEO on his way to squared circle when he's stopped by Mariachi, drawing both referees outside to keep the peace. Which allows CHRISTIAN WRIGHT to run in and nail Moraaca upside head with an OXYGEN TANK, then revive both Conquistadors before fleeing through the crowd! COLE No! No! Turn around ref! COACH Damn, this is brilliant! Naturally, the ref turns and sees a pin attempt. Nick slides in as Jack Doan does his best to keep Teddy and Mariachi separated. 1... 2... 3-- NO! COLE Mariachi with the save just in the nick of time! "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Los Conquistadors take their anger out on Mariachi, beating him down like a dog. A stray dog because there's no emotional attachment like it would be beating your own dog. Mariachi is beaten so bad Los Conquistadors set him up for their double team finisher, the slingshot clothesline...but Uno slingshots Mariachi too hard towards the corner, enabling him pick up some serious air and take Dos down off the top with a HURRICARANA! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! ONE... TWO... THREE... Still in disbelief, Uno is unable to break the pin. He snaps out of it and lunges at Mariachi, who brings him down with a drop toehold. Los Diablos then place the barbed wire tiara on his head and hit the spike tombstone piledriver they call THE SODOMIZER! FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Mentally and physically exhausted, Los Diablos have nothing left in the tank when they're attacked by the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Blonds have their way with Los Diablos, beating them chairs and Moracca's own rhinestone belt until OAOAST officials are able to arrival and restore order. COLE Surprise, surprise. Ned wasn't injured. He's a fraud. The Blonds are frauds and assholes. Yeah, I said it. A cowardly act on their part. COACH Ned had a valid medical excuse. COLE And somewhere in America a doctor has compromised his ethics for the almight dollar. Let's cut away from this crap.

[b]And now [color="#0000FF"]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color]...presented by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!"[/b] [quote]Synth goes for a hangman's neckbreaker, but Uno shoves him towards the ropes where Mackenzie awaits, and she blasts the Synthmeister with her Gucci bag! Synth rolled up in a small package! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Logan saves the day. As does Dos, who wallops Mann upside the head. The match degernates into another pier-six brawl. Double Irish whip by Los Conquistadors, and Logan goes tumbling over the top thanks to the Sooner Bruisers yanking down the top rope...just as Synth nails both Conquistadors with a pair of PERCUSSION DDT's! Synth covers both Conquistadors. * CLIP JOB * NED (laughing) Yeah! That's my tag team partner. You see, that's why we're walking away with the gold New Year's night. It doesn't matter what type of match you people select. That right there showed you why the Beverly Hills Blonds are the best tag team in the world, period. As Ned finishes his verbal blowjob, cameras cut outside the arena where the pink Pinto affectionately known as the WANGMOBILE pulls up. The doors swings open in a surprisingly manly way and out step... ...LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO, sporting taria's in support of the embattled Miss USA! * CLIP * Singleton eats a double right hand. But Los Diablos de Fuego didn't come alone. They brought along the WIFE of Logan Usher Mann...HOLLY-WOOD! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Holly yanks Mackie off the apron and gives her the wickest bitch slap you'll ever see! Charles Robinson sees the mayhem all around him and calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDINGDING * Officials rush to restore order. 10 are needed just to pry the Sooner Bruisers away from Logan! Holly wants her some of Big Frank, trying to breakthrough the sea of referees and agents to get at the man who has caused so much pain and suffering in her and Logan's lives.[/quote] [b]This has been [color="#0000FF"]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color], bought to you by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!"[/b] [img=http://www.fortunecity.com/olympia/mcmahon/48/multimedia/meangene.jpg] MEAN GENE Back live on TSM. Gene Okerlund wishing you and your family a joyous holiday season. And a joyous occasion it was last week when Holly-Wood made her long awaited return after months away from the spotlight to recooperate both mentally and physically from the pain dealt at the hands of the current OAOAST tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. I say current because live New Year's night the tag titles will be on the line as the champions defend against 5 other teams in a match to be determined by you, the wrestling fans, at OAOAST-dot-com. What will it be? a) Over The Top Rope Battle Royal b) Triple Chance Battle Royal c) Tag Team Turmoil Match [size="1"] (For dramatic effect only)[/size] The Synthmeister comes flying into view stoned out of his mind, followed by Logan Mann and his wife Holly, arm and arm, snuggling up to one another. GENE Two men who couldn't care less about the outcome -- they just want their hands on the Man of Tomorrow and Psycho Gremlin -- Synth and Logan, the Heavenly Rockers, and yes, Holly-Wood come on in. I know you're ready for Monday Mainframe, the big spectacular New Year's night. SYNTH A New Year's rockin' night! LOGAN Reunited and it feels so good! The Heavenly Rockers flying high once again with the wind beneath our wings, the Angel of Death herself, back on the road with the greatest rock n' wrestling band of all time and your next World tag team champions. Battle royal, triple chance or tag team turmoil -- pick your poison! It doesn't matter what type of match we're in so long as we're in. There were only 2 things the Synthmeister and I wanted for Christmas. One was Holly-Wood back at our side and the other was a shot at the tag team titles and the Sooner Bruisers. Guess what, "Mean" Gene Okerlund? The Heavenly Rockers have been good boys this year because we got 'em both! HOLLY You got what you wanted, didn't you, Bruisers? When you, two All-Americans in college, couldn't bully my boys with your amatuer skills you decided to sink to the lowest level to gain a psychological advantage by bullying me. Flattering, heh. But you forgot one thing: I'm one tough bitch! And this bitch doesn't give a damn about breaking a nail or twisting an ankle. This bitch wants blood. Your blood. I wanna rip your balls out of your sacks and eat 'em for breakfeast. I wanna use your balls as a chew toy for my dog. I wanna use your balls to hang on my tree next Christmas. In case you couldn't tell, I didn't get anything for Christmas this year because I'm a lifetime member of the naughty list. Good thing Santa doesn't judge by what goes on after the lights are off because Logan would be on the naughty list too. LOGAN Anal sex...I like it! SYNTH Believe me, he does. Ah started his porn collection. It won't be the only thing the Synthmeister'll be startin'. Monday Mainframe, the New Year's Spectacular as it's being called, the Heavenly Rockers will be startin' a rumble with 5 other teams even if it's not actually a battle royal, know what I mean. We're gonna kick it the only way us rock stars know how, like a drunken binge in our hotel room. We're gonna crazy, crazy on you!!! LOGAN Monday Mainframe, the Heavenly Rockers new tag team champions of the world sayeth Logan Usher Mann! GENE Yes siree. The Heavenly Rockers are ready for the New Year and I'm ready for a drink. Back to the ring or back to the back. You never know around here.

That was the best Tony Brannigan, who sorta disappeared in recent weeks, has ever been written promo wise. Good job KC. Fun segment to kick off the show not likely to receive much feedback. Mulligan vs. Wolfenstein: Speaking of characters who've disappeared, there was a Jock Mulligan/Lone Star Gunslingers sighting in months. A showcase for the Lone Wolf, and a good one at that. My early pick for 2007 Rookie of the Year. Favorite segment of the show. Followed up by a strong to-the-point promo from Cortez afterward. Like EWC said, Bruce Blank was awesome this week. Great stuff. Much like the Brock-Deon feud I said I'd like to see, the same can be said for a possible Drek Stone-Bruce Blank match-up. Wouldn't mind seeing that one at all. EWC's was on top of his game as well w/his work. Heat/Fly vs. D*LUX: Some storytelling here. And quite the upset. Didn't think Heat/Fly would be an established team like D*LUX. Impressive debut for the Royalty. I could see that team going places if they stick around. Alf vs. Bo: Angle driven segment that turns into an impromptu match. A really good one too. Loved the Knicks/Nuggets line. Only fitting Alf would be the one to use it. Match of the Night: Heat/Fly vs. D*LUX Segment of the Week: Hooliganda skit.

* DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest...one fall, 15 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, accompanied by their advisor MACKENZIE DECENZO... "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BUFFER (CONT'D) ...the self proclaimed meanest and baddest men in all of Latin America, the always unpredictable...LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! Mackie points to her clients, who raise their gold fists in the air. COLE No surprise here. Mackenzie DeCenzo now advising Los Conquistadors after Theodore Moneymaker all but placed a bounty on Los Diablos de Fuego last week. COACH Mackie knows a thing or two about rebuilding a team's confidence. Remember what she did to the careers of Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. She turned them into champions when everyone thought they were dead in the water. COLE I understand Los Conquistadors have been put through some grueling training in preparation for their showdown with Moracca and Mariachi New Year's night. The best money can buy, as the Enterprise love to say. Uh-oh. We got problems. COACH Speak for youself. The Beverly Hills Blonds are their way to Sofa Central! NED Get outta here, Cole. COACH Yeah. Outta here! SIMON Sorry, Coach. I'm afraid you too. In order to prove we're not homophobic, we gotta hate everybody equally for the time being. You're still America's favorite brother though. COACH But... :( "Heart-Shaped Box" hits, the fans go nuts, and Synth and Logan emerge from the back. BUFFER And their opponents...from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada...the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time, the HEAVENLYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRROCKERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS! NED Welcome to HeldDOWN~! with your new broadcast team. I'm Ned Blanchard... SIMON ...and I'm Simon Singleton. NED Otherwise known as the Beverly Hills Blonds, former 3-time tag champions of the world. Be sure to watch us capture the gold again New Year's night. We'll talk more about that later on, but right now...right now we have more company! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds, but the action is delayed by the unexpected appearance of the OAOAST tag team champions. Big Frank and Uber Bruiser stopping by to check out their hated rivals, one of the teams involved in the tag team championship match at New Year's Spectauclar: Monday Mainframe, in person and perhaps to get an up close and personal look at the business consultant of another team gunning for their title New Year's night. NED There they are, the two men keeping the World tag team titles warm for us until New Year's night, the Sooner Bruisers. SIMON A couple of bad apples they are, Ned. Not as bad as you and me, of course, but bad apples nonetheless. They're the only team I dread having to face at Monday Mainframe. NED The New Year's Spectauclar! And a spectauclar it will be -- that's the night the hottest tag team in the biz, the Beverly Hills Blonds, regain the World tag team championship for an unprecedented fourth time! SIMON For real too. That Michael Cole originally tried to con the fans into thinking Black T were chasing their fourth tag title last year when it was really their third. Michael Cole is such a tool. Mackenzie eagerly points the champions in the direction of the Heavenly Rockers in hopes of a physcial confrontation. And it works. They want the Bruisers right now! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SIMON And it looks like we might get a sneak peek of what's to come New Year's night...tonight! NED Our favorite whipping boys vs. the most dominating tag team in OAOAST history. Distracted by the champions presence ringside the Heavenly Rockers leave themselves open to attack from behind, and Los Conquistadors capitalize, ambushing the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time. They toss Synth out to the floor and concentrate on Logan, pummeling him to his knees. Outside, the Sooner Bruisers put the boots to Synth, then pretend they're just trying to help him up when spotted by referee Charles Robinson. Charles warning the Brusiers not to get physically involved in the match or they will be ejected. Naturally, Big Frank and Uber promise not to interfere. NED I don't think the referee has much to worry about in the Sooner Bruisers. Los Conquistadors have this match under control. (shouting to ref) They're just trying to watch the match, idiot! SIMON Uno and Dos won't need any help anyway. The money our man Teddy spent training these guys in the jungles of Latin America have turned Los Conquistadors into savages. Latin American savages. They're harder than hardcore. They're extreme with an "X". And you can't get any more xtreme than that. Los Conquistadors target the neck of Logan Mann, clotheslining him on the top rope. Uno, or maybe Dos (they're hard to tell apart), then drops a series of elbows across the neck, pulling the head back and digging the fingers into the nose! Mann has his face stomped into the canvas and then is dragged to the Conquistador corner for a tag. The man who could be Dos or possibly really Uno whips Logan into the ropes and thrusts both forearms dangerously close to the throat on the rebound, following it up with a big legdrop. ONE... TW-- KICKOUT! Into the Conquistadors corner goes Mann again, driven face-first into the knee of the illegal Conquistador. For the sake of everyone's sanity we'll call him Uno, being that he was the first Golden Boy in. Accepting the tag for his team, Uno works Logan's body over with rapid rights and lefts, snapmaring him to the center of the ring and applies a neck vice to weaken the muscles in Mann's already less than 100% neck. "LO-GAN!" "LO-GAN!" "LO-GAN!" The crowd rallies behind Mann, as does Synth who has finally made it up to his feet after the sneak-attack by Los Conquistadors and the cheapshots from the Sooner Bruisers. Big Frank and Uber teasing Logan with the tag title belts, drawing another warning from the referee. SIMON Lindsay Lohan's here? Where? :P NED It's LoGAN not LoHAN. Although I wish it were Lindsay. You should see her orgasm, man. I tell ya, it's like a fish out of water. All squirming around while I'm squirting in. SIMON You know I love you in a brotherly way, Ned, but you really gotta start using condoms, bro. Otherwise you're gonna have a crop of children. NED Crop of children? Oh, I get it. I plant my seed in too many gardens. Crops. Niiiice. Turning out attention back to the ring, the fist is pumping and the adreanline is flowing as Logan makes it back to his feet and smashes the Conquistador's jaw into the crown of his head! The jawbreaker succeeding in breaking the neck vice. Logan glances over at Synth, reaching for the tag, but he's too far away. So disorientated he forgot where he was. Logan quickly recovers and inches towards his corner, shaking off the cobwebs along the way. But it's Los Conquistadors who make the tag first. Dos rushing in to drop the big elbow on Logan, before knocking Synth off the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dos drags Logan to the Conquistador side of the ring and performs the Mexican Hat Dance, mocking a cherished tradition of Los Diablos de Fuego and their people. Los Conquistador give the fist salute, which leads Dos to stick it between Logan's eyes! ONE... TWO... SAVE BY THE SYNTHMEISTER! NED Oh, come on, ref! Disqualify the sonuvabitch! SIMON And some people have the audacity to say [i]we[/i] break the rules. Huh. That was textbook rulebreaking right there. NED Tag! We have a tag. Uno going back in. Charles Robinson struggles to prevent Los Conquistadors from double-teaming Logan, so Synth takes matters into his own hands and steps in, fending off Uno and Dos himself. The crowd is none to pleased when Charles finds the strength to restrain Synth, ordering him back on the apron. Los Conquistadors again seize the opportunity, firing Mann into the ropes, and elevating him high in the air with a double backdrop. Uno hits the ropes and delivers yet another elbow. NED They sure love their elbow drops, don't they? In case you people at home are wondering, that's not an illegal double-team because Los Conquistadors did it within the allotted 10 seconds. SIMON Certain commentators--cough*MichaelCole*cough--have led you to believe the rule is 5 seconds, but it's really 10. Trust us on that. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Uno sits Logan up and places him in a reverse chinlock. Mackenzie directing the action outside, asking Uno to grind the knee into the spine of the back as he tightens his grip. Synth shouting words of encouragement to his partner, getting the fans into it as well. "ROCK N' WRESTLING!" "ROCK N' WRESTLING!" "ROCK N' WRESTLING!" Logan tries to get the adreanline flowing again, kicking and screaming his way back into it. Logan slowly rising to a knee, then both feet. Elbow to the midsection gets Uno off his feet. So successful the first time Logan just keeps rattling off elbow after elbow until he breaks free. Then it's off to the ropes, but Dos grabs ahold of him. Uno charges in...and Mann moves aside, causing Los Conquistadors to collide! Back to the ropes and a blind tag, Logan drilling Uno with a spinning back elbow as Synth follows up with an elbow of his own...straight from the second rope! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! SIMON Oh, ho, ho. Dos just in time with the save. But it's getting a little too close to comfort for me. NED I hear you all the way, buddy. The match is starting to get away from the referee. If it gets anymore chaotic I might have to step in and help restore order. Uh, I mean YOU might have to step in and restore order, Simon. I'm hurt. All hell breaks loose as both teams brawl in the ring. Everyone from the referee to the men and women outside keeping a close eye on this one. Los Conquistadors forced to restort to raking the eyes to regain control. Synth and Logan duck a pair of clotheslines and dive through the ropes, wiping out the Sooner Bruisers outside! "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The crowd loves it, and so do the Heavenly Rockers. Synth and Logan hammering away on their arch-rivals. * WHAP * * WHAP * * WHAP * Logan unstrapping the belt Big Frank wears as an armband and using it as a weapon, whipping the Man of Tomorrow! Los Conquistadors to the rescue, if you what to call it that. Uno and Dos blindsiding the Heavenly Rockers for a second time tonight. The Golden Boys, who thank you for not being their friend, send Logan into the guardrail before sending Synth back into the squared circle. A bad mistake since it allows Synth time, albeit brief, to compose himself and come right back at them. He levels Dos with a baseball slide and crotches Uno on the way in, pulling up on the middle rope. Uno, who landed out on the apron, is brought back up and suplexed inside. ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! NED Oh, hell yeah! He kicked out. That's exactly what Teddy paid your training for, to make you a fighter. Helluva competitor that kid is. Jesus Christ! What is this crap coming through out headsets? SIMON Our so-called "director" trying to tell us something. Hey, you guys in the truck shut up! We're trying to call a match here. What the hell are they saying Ned? NED The hell if I know. Somebody on their way to the arena. Probably some chump. Synth goes for a hangman's neckbreaker, but Uno shoves him towards the ropes where Mackenzie awaits, and she blasts the Synthmeister with her Gucci bag! Synth rolled up in a small package! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Logan saves the day. As does Dos, who wallops Mann upside the head. The match degernates into another pier-six brawl. Double Irish whip by Los Conquistadors, and Logan goes tumbling over the top thanks to the Sooner Bruisers yanking down the top rope...just as Synth nails both Conquistadors with a pair of PERCUSSION DDT's! Synth covers both Conquistadors. NED Action! The Blonds leave the broadcast, at least Simon does as Ned stops in his tracks and grimaces in pain when he notices the camera right on him. NED Ow, my badly injured groin. Unbeknowst to the referee, distracted by Mackenzie on the apron, the Bruisers are bruising Logan outside. Meanwhile, Simon comes off the top with a legdrop, placing one of the Conquistadors on top afterward. Singleton boasts over his job well done, to the cheers and applause of Ned Blanchard. NED (laughing) Yeah! That's my tag team partner. You see, that's why we're walking away with the gold New Year's night. It doesn't matter what type of match you people select. That right there showed you why the Beverly Hills Blonds are the best tag team in the world, period. As Ned finishes his verbal blowjob, cameras cut outside the arena where the pink Pinto affectionately known as the WANGMOBILE pulls up. The doors swings open in a surprisingly manly way and out step... ...LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO, sporting taria's in support of the embattled Miss USA! Unfortunately for Los Conquistadors, Mackie's high heels have caught on to the ring apron, and despite her best pleas the referee chooses to spend his time trying to free her rather than make the count. NED Holy... Why didn't somebody tell me these guys were on their way? What? Oh, screw you guys in the truck. You'll be lucky if you still have jobs next week. Forget the lady, ref. She'll be fine. Make the count! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Simon thinks the cheers are for him, so he basks in the glory not knowing what's fastly approaching behind him. NED Simon! * BOOM * Singleton eats a double right hand. But Los Diablos de Fuego didn't come alone. They brought along the WIFE of Logan Usher Mann...HOLLY-WOOD! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Holly yanks Mackie off the apron and gives her the wickest bitch slap you'll ever see! Charles Robinson sees the mayhem all around him and calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDINGDING * Officials rush to restore order. 10 are needed just to pry the Sooner Bruisers away from Logan! Holly wants her some of Big Frank, trying to breakthrough the sea of referees and agents to get at the man who has caused so much pain and suffering in her and Logan's lives. The crowd still too caught up in the moment to boo the apparent double disqualification. Lost in the mayhem is Ned Blanchard, the victim of a Los Diablos de Fuego DRY HUMPING! NED Son of a biiiiitch! Go to break! Go...to...break! Anywhere but here!

Heavenly Rockers vs. Los Conquistadors

It's not said too often, but PK does a heckuva job posting HD. The show was real smooth in transition. MGWHC vs. NRG: Competitive match that showcased the talents of both teams. And a clean win for the HWC. I told you the OAOAST treat their heels right. Like Bohemoth, Rico and his 'stache will soon sweep the OAOAST, leading he and "Sweet" Lucius to tag team gold. Maybe. Congrats to Biff for earning now has his own trademark spot! at the WBF comment. Riggs and Dance Dance Dragon better watch, otherwise they'll become the next athletes injured from playing Guitar Hero. Dragon going dance dance on the guitar was hilarious, as was the Jarrett bit. Los Tigres Del Ring vs. Space Cadets vs. Los Vatos Locos: Hawaiian shirts are the in thing now apparently. Storyline driven, and very effective at that. Christmas Deathmatch: Hell yes! This was awesome. Lots of creative spots. MOTN contender. Unlike last time, we didn't have 3,000 "Are you ready?" intros, so it added to the drama. HI-YAH Tag Title match: Action packed, as you'd expect from a PR written match. Would've liked to have seen a winner but I'm sure the finish was done strictly for storyline purposes. Fully expect to see both teams meet again. Bruce Blank vs. Zack Malibu: This was about as awesome as the X-Mas Deathmatch. Maybe the most unpredictable match in OAOAST. Knew it could go either way, but man did I get suckered into thinking Zack had won. Excellent job with the finish. Match of the Night: How can you not awarded them to the Deathmatch and ME? I know I'm falling into the habit of picking two matches, but damn if those two didn't deserve it.

COLE With some Hot Newz~! you need to know, here's Tony Schiavone. Backstage, the former voice of WCW and now Syndicated host stands humbly in front of our modest interview set -- a simplistic "OAOAST" banner. SCHIAVONE Coming up New Year's night, January 1st, the OAOAST presents the 2nd annual New Year's Spectauclar live right here on TSM. Being the fan-friendly promotion the OAOAST is, we're putting the card in your hands. Yes, you, the wrestling fan, will have the power to pick the stipulation or wrestler you want to see! Go to OAOAST.com for more information on that big card New Year's night. In addition to the great live action you'll be seeing, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and myself will be on hand to unviel 2007 Anderson Cup brackets. The past two winners, the GPX and Heavenly Rockers, have gone on to capture the tag team championship at AngleMania IV and V respectively. Hoping to continue the trend are the Beverly Hills Blonds and the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, all members of the Enterprise entered in next year's Anderson Cup. But it's the New Year's Spectauclar I want to talk to them about, specifically the match between the Beverly Hills Blonds and Los Diablos de Fuego. In walk the Enterprise. Simon comforting a noticeably upset Ned Blanchard, who is grimacing in pain and shaking his head in disappointment. SIMON Tony, it's with great sadness that I must inform you and all our "great fans" the Beverly Hills Blonds won't be able to perform New Year's night because of a server groin injury Ned suffered last week in the 6-man tag. I know there's gonna be some skepticism concerning the injury but I assure you and everyone watching it's legit. Our man Theodore had the [u]finest doctors money can buy[/u] examined Ned, all of whom said it would be in his best interest to back out of the match to avoid further injury. So it's not like we're trying to get the night off to celebrate the New Year in Beverly Hills or anything. It's a legit medical injury. Ned did everything in his power to try and be ready for the New Year's Spectauclar, even going as far as to suggest castration to relive the pain. NED I'm no doctor, so I didn't know that would only add to the problem, not fix it. SCHIAVONE Now hold on just a minute. This would be the second time you've backed out of a scheduled match against Los Diablos de Fuego. There's more than meets the eye here. It wouldn't have anything to do with last week, would it? THEODORE Last week is last week, little man. A fluke pin by a fluke tag team. Instead of questioning the Enterprise, why don't you go question those known cheaters Los Diablos de Fuego? First it was November Reign, then last week. They can't be anybody straight up, they gotta resort to illegal switching or double-teaming to beat anyone. Take last week for example. SCHIAVONE I thought last week was last week. THEODORE Schiavone, you're one phone call away from never being seen again. And I don't mean just on television, if you catch my drift. The proof is in the pudding. It took an illegal double-team to keep Christian Wright down for the 1-2-3. Nevermind the fact he got his shoulder up before the final count was made. Had the referee been doing his job it wouldn't have come down to a missed call. SCHIAVONE I don't recall it happening like that. WRIGHT You're paid to hold a microphone to a person's face not spew your views. THEODORE Hahahahaha! You tell him CW. Just like I'm going to tell Los Diablos de Fuego right now...you will have someone to wrestle at the New Year's Spectauclar. A team that holds victory after victory over you. A team that has left you bloody, battered and beaten. They've spent the last few weeks training vigorously in the jungles of Latin America for their big chance at fame and a half a million dollar reward once they beat you New Year's night. I present to you...Los Conquistadors! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uno and Dos appear carrying a green money bag. Following handshakes with the Enterprise, they start digging into the bag. SCHIAVONE Half a million dollar reward? You've placed a bountry on the heads of Los Diablos de Fuego! THEODORE Money is meant to be spent, little man. And it will be money well spent come New Year's night. The question now becomes, how will those peasents go down in defeat. Will it be a Mexican Deathmatch? What about a barbed wire coal miner's glove match? Uno pulls the glove out of the bag and puts it on for all to see. THEODORE Huh? Remember that Diablos? Didn't feel too good, didn't it? I know what something else that couldn't have felt to good. Seeing your stupid mascot torn to shreds. All the king's horses and all the king's men might not have been able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but the Billon Dollar Heir's fame and fortune could stitch El Ovéja together again. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Dos pulls the shreded remains of El Ovéja out of the bag. Los Diablos former mascot reduced to a flat piece of "skin" taped together. SCHIAVONE Uh! That does it from here. Back to you.