Tony149

Packed show this week. Finally putting some of the OAOVW guys to use. An exhibition for PK after Banner got in a couple of nice moves. A York Foundation reference?! Only in the OAOAST. Good Rodez promo. Same goes for the tag match later on in the show. The bit where Wall punched X after he tagged himself in was funny. Damn good HL Title match, as was the X-Title match with the debut of a DDD. Different way to conduct a promo, that's for sure. Loved SJ's jackass line. Enjoyed the hell out of Alf's AC match. Reject's almost bi-polar behavior reared its head after his and TK's loss. Eski did an excellent job with the Black T-LSGS segment. See Line of the Night. I liked the Clint Eastwood approach of letting the Gunslingers facial expressions (via words) do all the talking. Spin the Wheel Make the Deal Iron Man match? You guys find ways to outdo yourselves. Fun 6-Man tag. Great line during the match about the Spirit Squad. Been awhile since we had a steel cage ME, no? Either way, I liked it. MOTN: The GPX and Christian Wright vs. Zack Malibu, James Blonde and Faqu LOTN: "Wooo, easy there, we have nothing against you guys, but we're strictly for the ladies." -- Tony Brannigan

Patty, as always, you have free reign to add anything you'd like you. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, last Thursday night Sarcastic Simon and Aliz Spezia met in a one-on-one contest... [quote]While a few observant fans vainly attempt to direct the ref's attention towards what's soon to transpire, [Simon] wields a championship [belt] like a battering ram, sinisterly aiming it directly towards Alix's cute face. But the feisty wrestler, tipped off by the crowd noise, fights him off with a swift gut high kick! The belt falls from his land, as he's left coughing and wheezing like a chain smoker. She pulls him into a frontface lock, looking for a DDT! Yet Simon wildly punches his way out of her grasp. With a smile on his lips, he snares her into a standing head scissors. Before the crowd's chants can inspire it's target for one last rebellion, Simon spikes her head against the metal title with a piledriver! Her skull disgustingly bounces off the metal plating, sapping whatever life is left out of her slender body. The chants seem to come from miles and miles away, as she slips deeper and deeper into blackness, while Simon pushes the belt out of the ring. He returns to make the cover, and Silverman, on cue, comes back to count. 1 2 3[/quote] COLE (CONT'D) ...that saw Simon use the tag team title belt to pick up the victory. An irate Krista Isadora Duncan, tag team partner of Alix Spezia, demanded a match with Simon, but OAOAST officials did her one better. They have signed a World Tag Team Title match between C.O.D. and the New New Midnight Express for February 26th at Zero Hour. CABOOSE Which happens to take place in the girls' backyard, Los Angeles. COACH Give credit where credit is due, baby boy. OAOAST officials had nothing to do with the signing of this match. That sole honor belongs to the greatest GM in professional sports today, my good friend, Axel. He's the one who booked the tag title match for Zero Hour because the man smelled money -- big money! The more money he makes for the company, the more he gets paid and the happier the Donald is. Buffalo Bill may oversee OAOAST operations, but Mr. Trump signs all the checks. And as long as the money keeps flowing in hand over fist, the Axel administration will remain in power no matter how hard Watts and that teacher's pet Zack Malibu try to oust him. CABOOSE All we need now is a pre-recorded comment saying, "I'm Axel and I approve this ad." COLE As a matter of fact, we're going to go to some pre-recorded comments from the New New Mid-- COACH What are you trying to say, Caboose? CABOOSE Wipe the brown off your nose, Coachman. COACH Maybe you'd like to step inside the ring. CABOOSE That's one of the best ideas you've ever had, Coach. The crowd ROARS as Caboose gets up from his seat and towers over Coach. COLE Gentlemen, please. We have a show to do. COACH You're right, Mikey. The Coach is a [i]professional[/i]. Learn the meaning of the word, 'Boosey. The Coach's and Caboose's mics are turned off as they argue in the background. COLE While I try to play peacemaker out here, let's hear these pre-recorded comments from the World Tag Team Champions. (to Coach and Caboose) Come on, guys. Knock it off. CABOOSE I'll knock you off! CUT TO: Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned in front of a backdrop of the world famous "HOLLYWOOD" sign. The World Tag Team Titles draped over their shoulders, the duo look as smug as ever in their silver vests, gold chains and sunglasses. SIMON It seems as though Ned and I have causd Krista Isadora Duncan and all her feminist friends to burn their bras in protest over my big win last week. To all of you I say: Shave your armpits, you stupid broads! :lol: Apparently Krissy is pretty prissy about the way I scored the 1-2-3 over her life-- (comically shakes head) I mean tag team partner Alix Spezia. And for what? I didn't hit sweet little Alix with a foreign object, I won the match fair and square with a piledriver. And the last time I checked we weren't in Memphis, and a piledriver is considered a legal move in the OAOAST. NED I don't think their beef is with the piledriver, Simon. SIMON How can they have any beef when they're nothing but skin and bones?! :lol: They're like those anorexic sisters that are constantly featured on The Insider, except they wrestle. You see, when Alix decided to put her cute little wabbit tail inside the squared circle, she became just another [i]wrestler[/i]. You wanna fight with the men, you're gonna get treated like a man. Besides, isn't that what you girls are all about -- equality? Or just when it benefits YOU? Get over yourselves. You make me SICK to be socially liberal! NED Testify, brother Simon. SIMON Unlike that bitter hag, Krista, I still have youth on my side. So not only am I wrinkle free, but my memory is flawless, and it's telling me that all four of us have driven down this road before. Have we not? Let me take you back in a time. A little under a year ago, you two were riding high, coasting on the wave of momentum you built up after you upset Zack Malibu and Dan Black at Anglepalooza to win these tag team titles. After that you went through Black T, GPX, all the supposedly great tag teams to defend your titles, and all these so called wrestling experts, who are nothing but thirty year old shut-in's posting on message boards in between their circle jerks over the newest OAOAST diva's magazine, they were all making outrageous predictions about how long your title reign would last. Five months, seven months, a whole year! No one could beat you is what they said! And when the contract got signed for you to take on Ned and myself in Los Angeles at Living Angelously, everyone naturally assumed this would be the second of many pay per view title defenses for you. No one, outside of myself, and Ned wanted to believe we had anything more then a puncher's chance of beating you. Not in your hometown. It was impossible. It couldn't be done. The crowd would take us out of our game is what they said. You'd walk right over us. Didn't happen. We won. It was hard. Ned left with a bloodied face, I left with a sore neck, but we left with the belts. (Simon pauses to catch his breath) SIMON After that match you walked out of that arena, through your hometown crowd, and you weren't seen again for months. So while Alix was out in the public eye doing her best job to make Paris Hilton look like Aristotle, and Krista was on [i]Regis and Kelly[/i] telling flabby soccer moms across the globe how to get a better bikini BUTT, we were beating the tar out of those pretty boy canucks Marvin and Melvin Nerdly, and making life an unending hell for the Heavenly Rockers. But now you're back, ladies, and you want to test the path fate's laid out for you. You want to unseat us from our throne at the top of the tag team kingdom. Already I can hear the shirll voices of the pundits saying that Simon and Ned are heading for another short, forgetable tag title reign. "Krista's nearly unbeatable, they say, hometown advantage, they say." Yada,yada,yada, whatever. Ladies, allow me to inform you of something. You live in a city where there are two types of people, somebodies and nobodies. Right now you're at the top of the first group, and if you have an inkling of what's healthy for you, you'll stay the hell away from us, because we'll bust you down to the second group before little Maya can sing “I saw mama kissing Mrs.Calus” NED February 26, Zero Hour, Los Angeles, California. C.O.D. vs. the hottest tag team in the sport today for the World Tag Team Championship. I gotta hand it to you, Krista, men really are your property and you continue to play them like fools. Once again you have gotten your way. It wasn't enough that you took my daughter away from me, now you have to go out and take the one thing that means the most to me in this world...outside of my daughter, of course...the OAOAST Tag Team Championship. It ain't gonna happen, honey. Unlike you and that twig you call a partner, Simon and I get in done in the ring, not in the boardroom and not in the courtroom, the ring. As much as it will pain me to know our daughter will once again witness her mother get her ass kicked, the tag team championship is one thing you'll never be able to take from me. Ever. Come the 26th of February the world will know who wears the pants in our family. I'm going to hit you hard, Krista, and this time only I'll experience the pleasure from it. SIMON & NED :lol:

Note: This should go on after the Black T promo Eski is writing. Not immediately after, but after after. On second thought, it doesn't matter if it goes right after or not, just make sure the Black T promo goes on first. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following Anderson Cup contest is the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Final, and it is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Oklahoma City, at a total combine weight of 525 pounds... THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUISERS! The Sooner Bruisers come out to Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein". The always energentic "Pyscho Gremlin" Frank Frankensteiner runs around the stage responding to the crowd's HOWLS, while big brother Frank flexes his biceps for the cameras. Frankie is patted on the head as he dashes past Frank and slides into the ring. COLE The former All-Americans given a warm reception here tonight. As are the Lone Star Gunslingers, they are one win away from the Anderson Cup Finals. We send it back to Michael Buffer. "WAHAHAHAHA, WAH, WAH, WAH..." The theme from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" accompany the team of the Lone Star Gunslingers, sending the female fans into a frenzy as the handsome duo sprint to the ring. As they slap hands with the fans, one eager female pulls Jock into the railing and plants a big kiss on him, bringing a smile to the face of "The Texas Twister". BUFFER Their opponents, from the Lone Star State, weighing 507 pounds... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! CABOOSE This should be a magnificant match, one that could go 30 minutes or end in 5. Just look at the teams they have beaten to get here. The Sooner Bruisers went through Glory by Anarchy and Team Heyross to reach the Conference Finals. The Lone Star Gunslingers impressively defeated the team of Christian Wright and Bohemoth, then Black T -- yes, Black T -- in the semi-finals. COLE It's the 2 seed vs. the 5 seed. The Sooner Bruisers vs. the Lone Star Gunslingers. COACH Now that The Upstarts or Originals no longer have strong ties to those remaining in the Anderson Cup, I'm hoping for one helluva match. Personally, I'd like to see the Sooner Bruisers advance because I love their style. They wanna go in there and beat you senseless. You better have a good health insurance plan before stepping in the ring with those animals. Baron and Jock wave to the crowd as they remove their jackets. Referee Charles Robinson requests both teams attendence in the middle of the ring to run the rules by them and check for hidden foreign objects. None are found. He wishes both teams luck and calls for the bell. * DING DING * Both teams wish each other luck and shake hands. Baron and Frankie exit, leaving Frank and Jock in the ring to start. Following another handshake, the two circle around the ring before locking up, and Frank catches Jock with a T-Bone suplex! Jock favors his lower back as he rises to a knee, clearly caught off-guard by the quickness of the 275 pounder. He shakes off the cobwebs and hooks it right back up with the Man of Tomorrow, flinging Frank across the ring with an armdrag takeover. Frank pops up nodding his head, so far impressed by the toughness and resolve of the young Texan. Frank puts his amatuer wrestling skills to use, going behind Jock and taking him down to the mat. Jock squirms out of a front facelock, putting Frank on the defensive with a hammerlock. Frank makes sure he doesn't stay grounded for long, returning to a vertical base and firing a series of back elbows that free him from the hammerlock, and then leveling Jock with a Soonerline. Jock turns onto his stomach as Frank hits the ropes, leapfroging over a recoiling Man of Tomorrow, then connecting with a beautiful standing dropkick. ONE... KICKOUT! Jock brings Frank back to his feet, wringing the right arm. He takes him over to the Gunslingers corner and tags Baron Windels, who comes down on the outstretched arm with a BIONIC ELBOW off the top. He wrings the arm again and grounds the big man with a hammerlock. Baron with a succession of knees into the locked arm of Frankensteiner, trying to take away one of the Sooner Bruisers strongest points -- the Soonerline. COACH These boys might be from Texas, but it's obvious they've learned something in their short time in the OAOAST. They know the Sooners bread and butter is their beloved Soonerline. They saw how effective Team Heyross was in being able to put a limit on the amount of Soonerlines the Frankensteiners could use. Frank gets up to his feet, looking to throw some back elbows but Baron has it well scouted, keeping his head low. So Frank goes behind and reverses Jock's hammerlock with one of his own. Or maybe not. Frank chicken wings the arms and slams Baron straight back with a TIGER SUPLEX! ONE... TW-- Mulligan breaks up the pin. Frank drags Baron over to the corner and in comes the "Pyscho Gremlin." Frankie plants Baron in the center of the ring with another Sooner Bruisers trademark -- the belly-to-belly suplex! ONE... TW-- Again Jock makes the save. Face-first into the turnbuckle goes Baron. Frankie backs him against the turnbuckles and shoots Baron to the far corner. He charges in and hits nothing but turnbuckle as Baron side steps. Windels off the near side with a Yakuza Kick right to the side of the head! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! COLE Oh, he almost had him. COACH Heh. Baron should've known hitting Frankie on his head wouldn't have much effect. You have to have something up there for it to hurt. Windels sprints to his corner and tags Jock. "The Texas Twister" scales the turnbuckles, timing his leap and lunging forward...and into the arms of the Pyscho Gremlin and a POWERSLAM! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Frankie picks Jock off the mat and hoists him over his right shoulder in a Canadian backbreaker position. He charges the corner and rams an upside down Jock stomach-first into the top turnbuckle. Jock gets hung up on the top rope. Frankie sits him upright on the top and climbs onto the middle rope. BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! Tag made by the Sooners. Frank kisses the peak of his bicep and drops the elbow down across the sternum of Jock. ONE... TW-- KICKOUT! Up in a Canadian backbreaker position goes Jock once again. Frank stays near the corner as he tags Frankie. Frank forcefully drops Jock to the canvas as Frank drops an elbow off the top! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! COLE Baron with yet another save. CABOOSE The Sooner Bruisers do not take it easy on anyone. Friend or foe, they still come at you with the same intensity. COACH And that's what makes them The Coach's pick to win. Frankie runs in place, HOWLING at the lights above. He scoopes Jock up and rams him back-first into the top turnbuckle, then runs across the ring and rams Jock into another turnbuckle. As Frankie looks to complete the Oklahoma Stampede with a running powerslam in the center of the ring, Jock is able to kick his legs free and DDT Frankie! Jock flicks his hand out to make the tag, not knowing he's far away from his corner. Baron sticks his head through the ropes, screaming at Jock, hoping his partner will follow where the voice is coming from. His eyes glazed, perhaps having had sustained a concussion from the powerbomb/elbow double-team combination, Jock looks at his partner, reaching for the tag. Baron seemingly wills Jock to the corner, doing his damnest to extend as far out as he can without letting go of the tag rope. Charles Robinson watches intently as Jock nears his corner and...Charles claps his hands overhead...makes the tag! COLE The tag has been made! Baron Windels and Frankie Frankensteiner now the legal men. Baron leapfrogs over a rising Frankie and nails him coming back off the ropes with a BULLDOG! COLE Will that be it? ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! Frank pulls Baron off his brother. Jock comes back into the picture, jumping on Frank. The two slug it out as Charles Robinson orders both men out of the ring. Frank misses a wild Soonerline and gets caught in THE CLAW! Jock releases the hold and goes for a discus punch, but the referee gets in the way and is decked by the spinning right hand. Frank dives out of the ring to avoid any further confrontation with Jock. COACH Well, that just got him disqualified. COLE It was an accident. Charles Robinson, while trying to do his job, got in the line of fire. There was no ill intent. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jock stands over the referee with his hands in his face. As Baron sets Frankie for a superplex, Jock tries to bring Charles back to his senses...but is pulled out of the ring by TONY BRANNIGAN! CABOOSE What is this?! COLE From out of nowhere, Tony Brannigan has showed up ringside. Tony sends Jock hard into the RINGPOST, while Baron hits the SUPERPLEX! Not knowing what's happened to his partner, Baron covers Frankie...only to get hit in the head courtesy of a Dan Black DIVING HEADBUTT! Black drapes Frankie's arm over Windels' chest and exits through the crowd along with Tony. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and advancing to the Anderson Cup Finals at Zero Hour... THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUISERRRRRSSSSSSS! The crowd is split. Frank returns to the ring unaware of how he and his brother have advanced to the Finals. Jock is still down outside, [color=#FF0000][b]blood[/b][/color] flowing down his face after going into the ringpost. COLE Jock is bleeding badly out on the arena floor. If he didn't have a concussion before, he probably does now. Ugh! What a horrible way to end what was otherwise a great match.

Goddamn, the Lethal Rumble was a helluva match to read. I didn't see this year's Royal Rumble, but our Rumble probably wiped the floor with it. Words can't describe how awesome it was. The spot involving Reject and Synth was brilliant, especially since it gives additional backstory to their respective teams AC match this week. Considering Synth wasn't actually eliminated from the Rumble, the man deserves a World Title shot!

Imagine my surprise when I found out Stacy's dance partner was named Tony! It might not be this Tony, but all of us Tonys share a bond. Strong way to open the show, with great promos from Axel, Zack, and Watts, who was finally put to good use. For a minute there I thought The Upstarts were going to gang up on him but thankfully that didn't happen. With PK not having a match for Zero Hour, and depending on if it stays that way by the time the PPV comes, neat twist having the HI-YAH Title as the ME. Another interesting twist is who paid Brodie's fine. I'm sure we'll see her and Julie fight again at some point, but the BoD statement was very well-written, as it should be. As they said in the old WWF action figures commericals: "So close to the real thing, it's like being in the ring." Or boardroom in this case. Sly's hired hands with an impressive debut. The X-Games Match sounds like a cool concept. Look forward to seeing that at Zero Hour. What was wrong with the Fleet Center indeed. But that's a whole different subject. TK and Reject heeling it up with the jerseys was hilarious. Since the Patriots didn't make it to the Super Bowl and lose, I guess this was the next best thing. Fun match. Lots of action as you'd expect from the Boiz and TK/Reject. And Zack got some payback for what happened during the Lethal Rumble (which I still need to read). Reading Foshi's and Rikjin's segment, and considering we've had another explosion of new tag teams, looks like it might be time to go back and use the HI-YAH International tag titles as our version of the old NWA/WCW U.S. tag belts like Eski and I originally talked about. KC writing for CH is having the same effect it did when Patty got involved with some of my tag teams, in that it freshen them up a bit, having another person write for them. If that makes any sense. I've been getting caught by surprise on many things lately, but this is without question the most surprise I've been. No way did I expect the Triple Threat to unseed Team Heyross and Brock as World 6-Man tag champs. Alix's promo was frickin' awesome. I needed a dictionary to understand half of what CW said, but the bold letters bit was great. Patty knows what I thought about the Simon-Alix match. And still forgot Simon wears cute little black undies. But that's understandable since talks of the match focused to our thoughts on women's television networks. You know, the usual girl-- I mean, guy talk. MOTN: Sk8ter Boiz vs. TK and Reject. Honorable mentions to the 6-Man Title and Alix-Simon matches. LOTN: "It ain't Al-Qaeda, it's Al-IX!” -- Alix Spezia

I wrote this while I was under the weather so it may or may not suck. The radiance of the hot flourcent light created a brilliant glow across the stage as the audience in front it murmured with excitied anticipation. Suddenly... "WAAHAAA, WAH, WAH, WAH..." ...the "Good, the Bad and the Ugly" theme explodes out of the speakers with unadultared intenseity. It's noise tore through the air, entering the ears of everylast audience member, and forcing them off their seats. Soon even music had to fight for dominance with scillianting heat emmitted from the audience's roar. The entrance doors slowly come apart, as if to tell us we're not worthy of being witness to these glorious specimens of man. Baron Windels steps out first, a lock of shining ear slipping across his beautiful blue eye, followed by "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan, a handsome twenty-something who sends the female into premature ejaculation. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest live on HeldDOWN~! is a Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference semi-final match. It is set for one fall. Introducing first, from the Lone Star State, at a total combine weight of 507 pounds, "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! With smiles as big as the state of Texas on their faces, the Lone Star Gunslingers sprint to the ring, slapping the hands of those who reach out to touch two of the youngest and brightest OAOAST superstars. They send the women into a frenzy as they enter the ring and remove their white jackets. COLE Coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, is Anderson Cup action from the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. It'll be youth vs. experience. The surprising Lone Star Gunslingers vs. the former World Tag Team Champions Black T. And here to call the action with yours truly is none other than Jesse "The Body" Ventura. I know you wouldn't miss this one for the world, Jess. VENTURA Absolutely. You got the #5 seed Lone Star Gunslingers taking on the #1 seed in the MWC Conference and my pick to win it all, Black T. COLE I know you talked to Black T earlier today. What's their strategy coming into tonight's semi-final match? VENTURA They wanna see how the Lone Star Gunslingers react when they're put on the defensive early. They saw the quick start Jock and Baron got off to in their first round match against Christian Wright and Bohemoth. Black T believe if they can bully the Gunslingers early, it'll take the young Texicans out of their game and allow them to do what they do best -- beat people up. "He's Simply Ravishing...OWWWWWWW!" In a rare moment, perhaps for the first time ever, Black T come out to the music of Tony Brannigan. The jeers are also back, as Dan Black and Tony Brannigan are going up against two non-Upstarts. As they step onto the apron, they ask referee Earl Hebner to keep the Gunslingers at bay. They enter the squared circle and shoo Michael Buffer away as they pose back-to-back in the center of the ring, simultaneously removing their trench coat and robe respectively to reveal their well-built tanned physiques to a less than enthused crowd. BUFFER And their opponents in this semi-final bout...weighing a combined 505 pounds, here is the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew of Dan Black and Tony Brannigan... BLACK T! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA I have tears in my eye, Michael Cole. 30 years older and these guys could be my sons. COLE 30 years older and you'd either be dead or need the assistance of a walker. In any event, we're set to get things underway with Dan Black and Baron Windels. These is a very intriguing match on many fronts. As I previously mentioned, it will be youth vs. experience and no doubt Axel and The Upstarts will be keeping a close eye on this bout. While the New New Midnight Express haven't affiliated themselves with Axel and company, the two have an amicable working situation. Or at least they did up until last week. * DING DING * Dan and Baron tie-up in the center of the ring, with Black landing a knee to the midsection followed by a couple of well placed European uppercuts. He sets Windels for a vertical suplex but slams him down hard to the side. Baron is scooped up and placed on the top turnbuckle. Dan goes up to meet him, but the only thing he's met with is a round of rights to the gut. Baron hooks Dan in a front facelock from the second rope, then drops him to the mat with a Gordbuster. As Dan rises up to his feet, Windels hits a TOP ROPE LARIAT! He brings Black back to his feet and whips him to the ropes, again connecting with a lariat -- a flying lariat. But instead of going for the pin, ge sets Black on the top turnbuckle. SUPERPLEX! ONE... TWO... NO! Tony Brannigan with the save, bringing in Jock Mulligan, who levels the former World and tag champion with a right hand. Jock grabs Tony's legs as Baron does the same to Dan. STEREO TEXAS CLOVERLEAFS! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Would you take a look at this! VENTURA It's an illegal double-team. That's what it is. The referee needs to get Jock out of there. ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FI-- Jock lets go of the Cloverleaf and begrudgingly returns to his corner. With the referee focused on Jock's exit, Tony Brannigan nails Baron from behind with a clothesline. Black rolls to the corner and tags out, allowing Tony Brannigan to go right to work, driving the forearm into the back of Windels' head as he enters. Brannigan rakes the laces of his boot against the eye of Baron, temporarily rendering him blind. Baron is then sent face-first into the top turnbuckle in Black T's corner. Tony rams the shoulder into the midsection and pumpels Windels with hard right hands to the jaw. Tony keeps Baron trapped in the corner by pressing his weight up against him as he tags Dan Black. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Black brutalizing Windels' chest with vicious knife-edge chops. Black brings him out of the corner and whips him across the ring. He levels Baron with a running forearm shiver to the sternum, followed by a legdrop. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Black continues working at a feverish pace. He facelocks Baron and takes him over with a snap suplex. Black with the throat-slash, signaling the end is near. To the top he goes. DIVING HEADBUTT... INTO A PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS! VENTURA As clichė as it is, that's what it's called high-risk. If he hits the move the match is probably over. High-risk, high-reward. Fortunately for Dan, he's able to roll over to his corner and tag Tony. But so does Baron! Whoa! Brannigan is drilled with a Jock Mulligan discus punch! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Brannigan is whipped to the ropes and sent into orbit with a high back bodydrop. Tony pops up and goes diving through the ropes following a dropkick. He gets up outside a bit jelly-legged, but catches Jock slingshotting over the top rope. The former World Champion is unable to capitalize as Baron Windels slides under the bottom rope, knocking his partner down onto him! Jock picks Tony up and rams him into the apron before tossing him back inside the ring. Jock climbs the turnbuckles. FLYING CROSS BODYBLOCK...COUNTERED INTO THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh, my! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Windels makes the save. Brannigan throws Mulligan outside, leaving him to Dan Black. Tony taunts Baron as Dan hurls Jock into the STEEL STEPS! Jock grimaces in pain as he holds onto his shoulder. He's tossed back into the ring and stepped on by Brannigan as he walks over Jock and tags out. Black sccopes Jock up and flings him between the middle and top turnbuckles, sending him shoulder-first into the RINGPOST! Black pulls him out of the turnbuckles and takes him down to the mat in a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! VENTURA Oh, is that ever a painful move. The Fujiwara armbar. Looks like ol' Jock'll need to a painkiller or two after the match. COLE Almost foaming from the mouth is Dan Black, screaming for Jock to quit or suffer a broken arm. Something tells me Dan won't get what he wants. Jock and Baron didn't come back to the States to lose in the semi-finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup. They came to win the tournament and move on to face the World Tag Team Champions at AngleMania V. Unable to force his opponent into submission, Black tries a different tatic, going from the armbar into THE HEART OF ICE CROSSFACE! But Jock fights it off despite the fact he's being peppered with closed fists to the back of the neck, shielding his head with his right arm to prevent Dan from locking the crossface. Jock flips over onto his back and kicks Black off with both feet. Jock charges Black, his right arm outstretched, but Dan grabs the arm and goes behind Mulligan, clamping on the DRAGON SLEEPER! Kicking and screaming is The Texas Twister as he tries escaping the submission hold. Black is drilled in the face by a series of knees, causing him to break the hold. But Dan responds with a... KICK... WHAM... BLACKOUT... NO! Jock shoves Dan off to the ropes and goes up for a dropkick, but the man born Daniel Maximus Black swats him down and quickly applies THE HEART OF ICE CROSSFACE! VENTURA He's got it locked on and locked on good, Michael Cole. COLE The Heart of Ice! A move that was won many-a matches for Dan Black. *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* VENTURA Being trapped in the center of the ring doesn't give Jock Mulligan too many options to work with. He could either tap or take the easy way out by having his partner come in and break up the hold. InsteadJock rises to his knees and then onto his feet with Dan Black wrapped around him, the Heart of Ice still applied. His legs become shaky as he struggles to support Black's weight. Jock begins falling forward until he gets one last surge of strength and falls back with Dan, planting him into the canvas with a Somoan Drop! COLE Unbelieveable! Un-BElieve-ABLE! Jock escaped the Heart of Ice! The Heart of Ice, Jesse! VENTURA What an incredible turn of events. I can't recall the last time anybody has escaped the Heart of Ice quite like that. Laid out in the middle of the ring, Jock clutches his left arm as he leans up against Dan. ONE... TWO... THR-- DAN REVERSES INTO A CRUCIFIX! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Jock rolls through. Both men rush to their feet, but it is Dan who lands the big blow, spiking Mulligan straight back into his knee with an STO. Dan grabs ahold of Jock's leg to keep him near the Black T corner. Tony Brannigan comes back in and continues focusing on the arm, delivering a shoulderbreaker. Brannigan lets Jock know who he's in the ring with, slapping him around and telling him he "ain't shit!" Tony grabs a handful of hair and brings Jock up to his feet, hammerlocking the arm behind Mulligan's back and slamming him to the mat. VENTURA Beautiful hammerlock slam. Black T again showing why they're my pick to win it all. The tide began turning in the favor of the Gunslingers, but Black T has come back and regained the momentum. After a HIP SWIVEL~! Tony Brannigan measures Jock up and drives the forearm dangerously near the throat. Brannigan scoopes Jock up and places him in a standing headscissors, the prelude to the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER! Tony jumps up and places a foot on Jock's chest, flexing the biceps as the referee counts... ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Baron Windels levels the former Heavyweight Champion of the World with a MISSLE DROPKICK, having had enough of Black T's taunting. He drags Jock over to their corner and TAGS HIMSELF IN! Dan Black gets caught coming in with a roundhouse right. Scoope and a slam for Brannigan. One for Black. Windels hits Brannigan with a punishing inverted atomic drop. Dan with a swing and a miss, which Baron follows up with an atomic drop that sends Black flying out of the ring. He hits the ropes and nails a hurtin' Tony Brannigan with a FLYING LARIAT! VENTURA All hell is breakin' loose, Michael Cole! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Windels seats Brannigan on the top rope, where he takes him for a ride and back in a SUPERPLEX! ONE... TWO... THRE-- DAN BLACK WITH THE DIVING HEADBUTT OFF THE TOP! Jock Mulligan dives at Dan, sending the two tumbling over the top and to the floor. They brawl on the outside as Tony and Baron remain down in the ring. A woozy Baron Windels brings Tony back to his feet and fires him to the ropes as he hits the corner. Outside, Black rakes the eyes and throws Mulligan into the guardrail. Inside the ring, Brannigan counters the attempted Bulldog by pushing Windels off to the ropes and catching him out the rebound with the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE as Dan Black re-enters and hits the ROCK BOTTOM in midair to complete 3-B, BLACK BODY BAG! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! Jock pulls Tony out of the ring. The two trading blows on the floor. Out of nowhere, Dan Black comes diving through the ropes and wipes Jock out with a SUICIDE DIVE! Brannigan slides back into the ring and nails Baron getting up with a knee to the side of the head. Brannigan applies a front facelock and then turns Baron's head clockwise. Baron escapes the clutches of the Rude Awakening by firing a round of quick elbow strikes to Tony's ribs and countering the Rude Awakening with a BACKSLIDE! ONE... TWO... THREE! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA NO WAY?! * DING DING DING * Baron rolls out of the ring and helps his partner up outside. The two embrace and raise each other's hand in victory as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners and advancing to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals, the team of the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERRRRRSSSSS! COLE The Lone Star Gunslingers have advanced to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals! VENTURA Yeah, it's a miracle they got there. They got lucky. Black T had the match won. They dominated nearly the entire match. Tony Brannigan had Baron Windels set for the Rude Awakening, but Windels hit him with illegal elbows... COLE They weren't illegal and you know it. VENTURA (CONT'D) ...to the ribs and takes Brannigan down with a backslide for the 1-2-3. I still can't believe it. COLE Well believe it. We now know the final 4 teams in the Anderson Cup, as we take a look at the updated standings. [b]2006 ANDERSON CUP [color=#009900]MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE[/color][/b] # 1 Black T vs. # 8 James Blonde & Faqu -- [b]BLACK T[/b] # 4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. # 5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- [b][color=#996633]GUNSLINGERS[/color][/b] # 2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. # 7 Glory by Anarchy -- [color=#CC0000][b]SOONER BRUISERS[/b][/color] # 3 The Love Doctors vs. # 6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#FF0000]TEAM[/color] [color=#3333FF]HEYROSS[/color][/b] SEMI-FINALS # 1 Black T vs. # 4 Lone Star Gunslingers -- [b]GUNSLINGERS[/b] #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#CC0000]SOONER BRUISERS[/color][/b] [b][color=#FF9900]CONFERENCE[/color] FINALS[/b] February 16th LI: #2 TK/Reject vs. #4 Heavenly Rockers MWC: #2 Sooner Bruisers vs. #5 Lone Star Gunslingers [b][color=#FF0000]FINALS, ZERO HOUR[/color][/b] February 26, 2006 [color=#FF0000][b]LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE[/b][/color] #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [color=#FF99FF][b]LOS DIABLOS[/b][/color] # 4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. # 5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- [b][color=#000099]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b] # 2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. # 7 South Central Militia -- [b]TK/REJECT[/b] # 3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 6 NRG -- [b][color=#6633FF]SK8TER BOIZ[/color][/b] SEMI-FINALS # 1 Heavenly Rockers vs. # 8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [b][color=#000099]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b] # 3 Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 2 TK & Reject -- [b]TK/REJECT[/b] COLE The Los Infernales and Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals will be held next week, featuring the Heavenly Rockers going up against TK and Reject and the Sooner Bruisers facing the team we just saw defeat Black T, the Lone Star Gunslingers. Your comments on next week's Conference Finals. VENTURA It oughta be the Sooner Bruisers vs. BLACK T! That's what I think! Jesse throwns down his headset in disgust and walks off. COLE Jesse, come back. We're still on. Heh. Well fans, it looks like The Body isn't coming back. I can't believe how upset he got. He must've lost a bet or something. Anyway, we now know who the final 4 teams in the Anderson Cup are. The winners of next week's Conference Finals will go on to face each other at Zero Hour, with the winner not only winning the 2006 Anderson Cup but a shot at the World Tag Team Titles at AngleMania V. And we'll be back right after this.

Just a camouflage curtain and the ramp. The arena's jumbotron will be used instead of an AngleTron. Going for something girtty to play up on the military aspect of ZH. *****OAOAST Tag Titles******* Chicks Over Dicks in their hometown of Los Angeles, California will take on The Midnight Express

Half of this was done Sunday night, at least what had already been posted, but with the stuff I had to write this week it delayed reading the rest of the show. Without any further ado, here's the first real feedback left. Nice to see Tony and Jesse have become a staple in the OAOAST. Another feather in my cap. Liked the old school favor with the Lethal Rumble match drawings shown throughout the night. Mine sucked compared to the others, ut at least I had a good reason. I needed to finish writing the tag title match. Bonus points for the opening match including visuals. Not a bad match as well. I've been spoiled. Whenever I see Foshi coming out for a match I automatically expect him to wrestle some golden oldie. but once I began reading the match I got into it. Good job. Julie-Brodie was everything I expected it to be: wild. NNMX-TUS, Tag Title: The match might as well have been called Ode to the Midnight Express. I used some classic MX spots, such as Cornette challenging the ref to a fight and my personal favorite, the karate challenge from the Great American Bash 1990. Scramble Match, Women's Title: My head would probably explode if I had to write a match like that, but PFL (who I think wrote it; if I'm wrong I apologize) somehow manages to pull it off. Confusia has taken off after that win a few weeks ago. Heel Crystal rules! An already fun match shot up to a great match when I saw the Tony Brannigan reference. I'd actually pay to see the OAOAST's women division. Not just T&A here. Pretty good FCA match with the revealation of 3 new Upstart members. The 24/7 Title match showed the lengths PR would stoop to mess around with CH. Parka vs. O'Hara was virtually non-stop action throughout and my favorite match between the two. Excellent AM teaser. Ah, the days when our lead announce team was J.R. and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Let me just reinerate how awesome the AngleMania logo is. Classy. And I love the way Papacita incorprated the exterior of Trump Plaza into it. Very cool. SJ-PK, World Title: It never occured to me, but having the wrestlers fitted with a wireless mic is brilliant. Sometimes a handheld mic can be too much of a hassle during an "I Quit" match. As for the match, I was surprised to see PK totally dominate the way he did. Maybe I shouldn't have though. I mean, SJ is wrestling with a injured arm AND a concussion. PK and Axel did come off as heartless bastards at the end.

And now for the rest of the feedback. I'm not sure what to think about the Alix segment. On one hand, I liked it, but on the other, it seemed kinda thrown in. Well, it was, but you know what I mean. Was completely surprised by the ending of the 6-man tag match. Not only did TTT win, but they did so by pinning Alf...with a little help from Brock, who then goes badass backstage. The Love Shack was interesting because it featured PR with talent other than his own guys. True, he did work with Popick during his month in the ME scene late last year, but I can't remember the last time he's had a feud with guys other than TLC, etc. So far the Rodez-PR stuff has delivered. I'm liking it. The beatbox bit was GOLD~!

As is normally the case after a PPV, a promo heavy show. Loved Alf's zinger in the opening segment. It's pretty cool to see how Alf's character has developed over the years. He came off looking really strong. Whoa! Foreshadowing during the PR interview. Would my saying that be considered a spoiler? I guess not since this is a feedback thread, but The Love Shack isn't up, so... Otaku showing some fire. Patty already knows what I think about the NNMX promo he wrote. Holy crap! An Inten5e reference. It's been a long time since I've seen that used. Solid promo with VX playing the classic chickenshit heel after talking tough. Weird seeing Rodez do his Rock/PR thingy. Enjoyed the interaction between The GPX and Blonde and Faqu, especially the David Hasselhoff bit. MOTN: Team Heyross vs. Sooner Bruisers LOTN: "That's right, it's Groundhog's Day today. Tell me Peter, did Axel see his shadow when he crawled out of your ass this morning?" -- Alfdogg I'll feedback the rest of the segments that are edited in.

Considering I started writing the wrong semi-final match, which is why I tried to switch the order around, this came out better than I expected. So good, in fact, it could ME if need be "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD hits, meaning only one thing: "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD is playing. Which leads to the arrival of Rick Heyross and his tag team of Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, Team Heyross, all of whom are greeted rudely. BUFFER The following is a Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference semi-final match, with the winners to face the team of Black T or the Lone Star Gunslingers in the Conference Finals. Coming down the aisle, led down by their manager, Rick Heyross...at a total combined weight of 480 pounds...they are the Universe's Greatest Tag Team... CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Team Heyross remove their sweet hooded windbreaker jackets and pants as the camera pans to the entranceway and the music of Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein." "OW, OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWW!" BUFFER Their opponents in this semi-final match...from Oklahoma City, at a combined weight of 525 pounds... "THE MAN OF TOMORROW" FRANK FRANKENSTEINER and "THE PYSCHO GREMLIN" FRANKIE FRANKENSTEINER... THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUISERRRRRRSSSSSS! Heyross, Moss and Benjamin watch from the friendly confines of their corner as "The Man of Tomorrow" poses on the second turnbuckle, flexing his biceps, while "The Pyscho Gremlin" runs around the squared circle like a madman. COLE If you haven't already set up the VCR or TiVO'd tonight's show, you better do so now. If you love wrestling, and I'm talking about high-impact, in-your-face wrestling, this is the match for you. CABOOSE You have 4 of the most gifted professional and amatuer wrestlers in the ring. The amount of high school, state and national titles they've won is so mind-boggling you'd think it was the national deficit. COACH That's a lot. But let's be honest here. The only contrast of styles is in the looks department. Team Heyross are nice, clean-cut All-American boys whereas the Sooner Bruisers look like a porn star and an escape mental patient. COLE You know, the Sooner Bruisers aren't that far away from us. If you wanna go tell them that... COACH I'm a broadcast journalist, son. The Coach gets paid the big money to make you guys look good. It ain't easy, believe me, but I think I do one helluva job. Referee Nick Patrick orders one man in the ring, one man out on the apron. High-fives all around for Team Heyross. BUTT slaps all around for the Sooner Bruisers. Frankie, Quentin and Rick exit. * DING DING * The match gets underway with a classic collar-and-elbow tie-up. Frank is backed in the corner and RAKED in the eyes. Nothing sportsmanlike there. Neither is the big right hand that rocks the Man of Tomorrow, but he manages to reverse Moss' Irish whip, sending the Minneapolis native hard into the corner, his momentum rocketing him out of the corner and into the clutches of a Frank Frankensteiner MILITARY PRESS SLAM! Quentin Benjamin is no help to his partner as he's caught entering with a bodyslam. Frank yanks Moss' arm before taking him over to the Sooner Bruisers corner and tags in his brother, giving Charlie the opening to rip his arm away and retreat to his corner. After a few words with Quentin, Charlie returns to the center of the ring to lockup, only to have a snarling Pyscho Gremlin take a swipe at his leg. Moss uses his speed to maneuver around the unpredicatable Frankie Frankensteiner, then lands a punch that dazes the Gremlin. But Frankie doesn't stay on the defensive for long, lunging forward and slamming Moss to the mat. Moss hears the voice of Rick Heyross frantically screaming "SOONERLINE! SOONERLINE! SOONERLINE!" as he gets up. Sure enough, he turns and sees Frankie charging at him with his right arm cocked. Heyross' warning pays off, as Charlie falls back to the safety of his corner, where he and Benjamin take a few moments to go over their current strategy. Moss then challenges Frankie to get down on the mat and wrestle "like a man." COLE Is this gonna be interesting. The amatuer backgrounds of both these teams well-documented. Moss gets on all fours, as Frankie mounts him. On Nick Patrick's "GO" Moss sits up and out of the rear waistlock into one of his own. But just as quickly, Frankie is also able to escape, and places Moss in a front facelock. Charlie wraps his arms around Frankie's left leg in an attempt to take him down, but it's Moss who goes down as Frankie takes him over in a fireman's carry and covers. ONE... KICKOUT! Charlie argues his shoulders weren't down while Frankie howls his accomplishment, as do the fans who realize what's just taken place. COLE What great pure wrestling on the part of Frankie! Score one for Frankie Frankensteiner. COACH Great wrestling, yeah. But he didn't win the match. And that's the objective. Moss and Benjamin know that. I don't think the Sooner Bruisers do. Charlie gets up in Frankie's face, informing him that was just the first period, and now it's time for period 2. They trade places for period 2, with Frankie getting down on all fours. Moss rubs his hands together and...KICKS FRANKIE IN THE HEAD! The partisan crowd boo as Charlie sends Frankie face-first into the knee of Quentin. After a tag, Benjamin jumps off the top with a double-axhandle onto the outstretched arm of Frankie, the very arm used for the Soonerline. Full armdrag and twist into a hammerlock takedown by Benjamin. Quentin drives the knee into the arm of Frankie, trying to hyperextend it with an armbar. Frankie gets to a vertical base and in one fell swoop brings Quentin down with a drop toehold into a side headlock, which Benjamin maneuvers out of by sending Frankie off to the ropes. Frankie levels Quentin with a shoulder block and then hits the near side, going under a leapfrog and countering Benjamin's reverse springboard crossbody with a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE... TW-- NO! The Pyscho Gremlin's brother Frank enters as Charlie Moss looks to start trouble in the ring. He decks Moss with a forearm shot to the jaw. The Sooners then showcase their arsenal of suplexes -- overhead, belly-to-belly, T-Bone, etc. Charlie and Quentin meet on all fours mid-ring, but they soon have company as Frankie joins the fray and BITES Benjamin in the ass! The Sooners cap it off by clotheslining Team Heyross over the top to the floor! "OW, OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWW!" Frankie is patted on the head as he howls around the ring. Outside, Team Heyross regroup with their manager. Ouentin returns the ring, ready to go. He and Frank now the legal men. Ouentin grabs an overhead wristlock out of a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but as Frank starts to gain control Benjamin sweeps him off his feet with a heel trip. ONE... Frank uses every ounce of neck strength to BRIDGE UP, but is still at the mercy of Quentin's overhead wristlock. Slowly but surely Frank bridges all the way up to eye level with Quentin, sending Team Heyross on the defensive. Charlie steps in and kicks Frank in the gut to prevent him from overpowering Quentin. Team Heyross apply a double overhead wristlock, but that isn't enough to contain the Man of Tomorrow, who backflips and takes Benjamin and Moss over with Japanese armdrags. Moss is then spiked into the mat with a maneuver so awesome it can only be best describe as a STANDING MOONSAULT POWERSLAM! Not to leave Quentin out, he gets planted too. The Man of Tomorrow goes high-tech, high-impact, scooping Benjamin up by the head and dropping him with a double underhook powerbomb. Frank brings Benjamin back to his feet and whips him to the ropes. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! As he gets up on his feet Frank sees thousands of fans twirling their index fingers, the signal for the Frankensteiner. COLE Listen to that. They all want to see it. They want to see...the Frankensteiner! COACH Not me. Benjamin and Moss are world-class wrestlers, total sportsmen, not brawlers like those bruisers. Frank gives THE SIGNAL~! and fires Benjamin to the ropes. Frank doesn't see it, but a blind tag is made. Hence why it's called a blind tag. He goes up in the air as Quention recoils off the ropes, and is CLIPPED IN MIDAIR by Moss, causing Frank to land flat on his back. Moss heads straight for the leg, lifting it up and stomping the back of the kneecap. Charlie drops a series of elbows down on the leg, then drags Frank to the ropes, where he places the leg on the bottom rope and crashes all his weight down on it. Benjamin tagged back in. Double wish bone leg split. Quentin drags Frank away from the ropes but still near the Team Heyross corner, where he applies a single-leg crab. Moss gives his partner added supported by pushing his foot up against Quentin's chest. Benjamin yanks back on the leg, before letting go to knock Frankie off the apron with a forearm shiver. As the referee prevents an enraged Frankie from entering the ring, Quentin and Charlie trade places. Nick Patrick does a double-take when he turns around, astonished that Quentin somehow turned white or that an illegal switch was made. He questions the parties involved, all of whom say a tag was made, honest-to-goodness. Now it's Charlie's turn to shove Frankie off the apron, a diversion for Team Heyross to make another illegal switch. COACH For all you whiners out there, the legal man is back in. Quentin knocks Frankie off the apon again, but this time Nick Patrick catches him and Charlie making an illegal switch and orders Moss out of the ring. Moss is then tagged in legally, and makes sure the referee knows it's legit by showing him his hand. Patrick doesn't appreciate Moss showing him up but lets it slide. Moss rolls Frank onto his back and hooks the legs. COACH Mossy Knoll comin' up! Or so we thought. As Charlie is about to turn Frank over, Frankie comes in and whallops Moss with a Soonerline! So dazed is Moss he tags out not long after he was brought in. Frank catches Quentin coming in with a drop toehold. He floats over and clamps on a side headlock, which Benjamin quickly counters by shooting Frank to the ropes. Benjamin tries kicking Frank on the rebound, but the Big Bad Re-Booty Daddy catches the leg and spins Quentin around. SPINNING HEEL-- No, Frank sees it coming and ducks. Benjamin lands on his hip, and when he gets up he's waistlock from behind. He blocks Frank's German suplex by wrapping his leg around Frank's. Standing switch, and now Benjamin is in control of the rear waistlock. But he struggles to lift Frank up for the German, so Charlie comes in and nails Frank with a SUPERKICK, putting an end to Frank's fight and allowing Quentin to complete the GERMAN SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Team Heyross with a tag. Charlies Moss rams Frank into the top turnbuckle, backing him into the corner and driving the shoulder repeatedly into midsection. Vertical suplex brings Frank out of the corner and flat onto the center of the ring. Team Heyross make another exchange. Quentin Benjamin soars off the top with a FLYING ELBOW DROP! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Team Heyross with another quick tag. And another as Moss Irish whips Frank. Benjamin leaps to the top and levels the eldest member of the Sooner Bruisers with a TOP ROPE FLYING CLOTHESLINE! No cover, but yet another tag. Moss grabs Frank's leg and drags him to the corner, exiting the ring and... * WHAP * ...bashes the leg, the same leg worked over earlier in the bout, against the RINGPOST. And again. Frank pulls himself out of the corner, but not out of trouble. With Frank at a weaken state, Charlie easily locks on the MOSSY KNOLL! COLE Mossy Knoll! Mossy Knoll! Mossy Knoll! We may be moments away from a submission. Moments away. Frank is caught in the center of the ring, nowhere to go or anyway to counter. Rick Heyross pounds the ring apron, screaming at Frank to tap. Seeing his big brother defenseless, Frankie comes in...and to the shock of everyone watching doesn't breakup the Mossy Knoll. No. He goes around Moss and Frank and decks Benjamin. Quentin jumps back up on the apron and gets halfway through the ropes before being stopped by Nick Patrick. Frankie hammers Moss behind the referee's back with a closed fist and delivers a belly-to-belly to free his brother! COACH Tell me I didn't just see that? COLE You did, Booker T. Frankie outsmarted Team Heyross! Frank rises to his feet as Moss rolls to his corner and tags Quentin Benjamin. Quentin charges. FLOATOVER DDT...COUNTERED INTO A RELEASE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! With both members of Team Heyross incapacitate, Charlie laid out on the apron and Quentin down in the ring, Frank crawls and scratches to his corner inch by inch. Rick Heyross screams for his men, who are just now beginning to stir, to stop the tag. Benjamin grabs Frank's bad leg and brings him up to his feet, kicking him in the midsection and sets up for the Orange Crush...but Frank floats over and drives Quentin up the ring, trapping him against the ropes as he tags Frankie! COLE There it is! He made the tag! Big brother motions for Frankie to go up to the top. Despite the bad knee Frank believes his can lift Benjamin up on his shoulders. And he does! But as he turns his back to the corner, the knee gives out. That doesn't stop Frankie, who comes off the top and spikes Benjamin, his legs still being held onto by Frank, head-first into the mat with a TOP ROPE BULLDOG! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! Charlie Moss is able to breakup the pin before the hand strikes 3. Frankie levels Moss with a Soonerline. Then slams Benjamin and Moss in succession. He grabs Quentin by the wrist and whips him across the ring. POWERSLAM! ONE... TWO... Moss again is able to breakup the count. This time he's met by the fury of the Man of Tomorrow. Frank decks him with a diving forearm shot. He picks Moss off the canvas and hammers him against the ropes with hard right hands. While Nick Patrick turns his back on the legal men to get Charlie and Frank out of the ring, Rick Heyross sneaks in and pulls out his CELLPHONE. He gets ready to shatter it over the skull of Frankie, but is caught in the act and then with a belly-to-belly suplex! "OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWWW!" The crowd continues to howl as Frankie sets Benjamin on the top turnbuckle. Meanwhile, Moss ducks a Soonerline and backdrops Frank over the top rope. He then nails Frank with a Northern Lariat, putting Team Heyross back in the driver's seat. Irish whip. And Moss gets leveled on the rebound with a Soonerline. Frankie looks to capitalize with another Soonerline off the ropes, but Moss leapfrogs over him while Benjamin dives off the top and plants him face-first into the mat with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" COACH DAYUM~! COLE I couldn't have said it better myself. The cover! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO, KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Moss and Benjamin lift Frankie off the mat and fire him back to the ropes, where Frank tags himself in. Unfortunately, he does it right in front of Team Heyross and gets wasted with a DOUBLE SUPERKICK after Frankie is hit with a hot shot, his momentum taking over the top to the floor. Team Heyross with the tag. Moss hoists Frank onto his shoulders as Quentin, the legal man, goes to the top. TOP ROPE BULLDOG! COLE A page right out of the Sooner Bruisers playbook. COACH From a page they stole out of Team Heyross' playbook. Beautifully executed. Much more graceful than the Sooners version. Moss exits so that Quentin can make the pin. ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Heyross and his team can't believe it. Quentin stands over Frank, paint-brushing him. He brings Frank back to his feet, drilling him with forearm smashes. Benjamin then has his Irish whip reversed. As he charges back towards Frank, he gets nailed with THE FRANKENSTEINER! But the concussion Frank's bad knee takes prevents him from being able to cover Benjamin. Charlie and Heyross cheer Quentin on from their corner. Nick Patrick slaps his hands together, signaling a tag has been made. Heyross tells his boys to finish Frank off. COACH Oh, I love this move. COLE If they hit this, it's over. Charlie lifts Frank up on his shoulders with Quentin going back up to the top. But Frankie hops on the apron and SHOVES Quentin off the top and into Charlie, causing him to lose his balance. Frank lunges forward and takes Moss down with a VICTORY ROLL! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * Heyross falls to the floor as the Sooners begin celebrating. BUFFER Here are your winners and advancing to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals: THE SOONER BRUUUUUUISSSSERRRRRSSS! COLE What a match! Just when it looked like Team Heyross had it in the bag, the Sooner Bruisers somehow found a way to pull it off. Tremendous effort on the part of both teams. It was everything we expected. But it's the Sooner Bruisers who join the Heavenly Rockers as one of the final 4 teams in the 2006 Anderson Cup. Let's take a look at the updated bracket. [b]2006 ANDERSON CUP [color=#009900]MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE[/color][/b] # 1 Black T vs. # 8 James Blonde & Faqu -- [b]BLACK T[/b] # 4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. # 5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- [b][color=#996633]GUNSLINGERS[/color][/b] # 2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. # 7 Glory by Anarchy -- [color=#CC0000][b]SOONER BRUISERS[/b][/color] # 3 The Love Doctors vs. # 6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#FF0000]TEAM[/color] [color=#3333FF]HEYROSS[/color][/b] SEMI-FINALS # 1 Black T vs. # 4 Lone Star Gunslingers -- [b]NEXT WEEK![/b] #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#CC0000]SOONER BRUISERS[/color][/b] [b][color=#FF9900]CONFERENCE[/color] FINALS[/b] February 16th [b][color=#FF0000]FINALS, ZERO HOUR[/color][/b] February 26, 2006 [color=#FF0000][b]LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE[/b][/color] #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [color=#FF99FF][b]LOS DIABLOS[/b][/color] # 4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. # 5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- [b][color=#000099]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b] # 2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. # 7 South Central Militia -- [b]TK/REJECT[/b] # 3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 6 NRG -- [b][color=#6633FF]SK8TER BOIZ[/color][/b] SEMI-FINALS # 1 Heavenly Rockers vs. # 8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [b][color=#33CCFF]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b] # 3 Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 2 TK & Reject -- [b]NEXT WEEK![/b] CABOOSE I'm happy to point out there are NO representives of The Upstarts left. COACH Quite frankly, I don't care what you're happy with, Caboose. We got control of the company and the World Title. He who has the gold has the power. COLE Reminder, ladies and gentlemen: Next week we'll have the last two semi-final matches. The Sk8ter Boiz vs. Thunderkid and Reject and the only remaining 1 seed in the tournament Black T vs. the Lone Star Gunslingers. Two great tag matches coming your way next week on HeldDOWN~!

Under the current circumstances I'd also say Black T are tweeners. And they're the Sooner Bruisers now, not the Frankensteiners, O'Green!Yeah, I voiced my frustration by calling you O'Green. But I thank you for creating this thread out of the womb of your PC. Looking at the thread, I see only 3 strong faces and 1 strong heel with guys like PR on the second-level (that'll likely change when he starts feuding with guys other than TLC and we'll get to see what he's all about). Brock's another guy I can see in the ME.

Lots of :wub: to Patty for his help with the SCM promo. The other AC match will be posted sometime tomorrow. [color=#009900][b]BOOM! BOOM![/b][/color] Pyro SHOOTS out of the stage as "G's & Soliders" hits. Through the cloud of smoke caused from the blast emerge the HEAVENLY ROCKERS. Synth and Logan greet their adoring fans with enthusiasm, sprinting down the aisle slapping each and every hand, including a little girl who can't be any older than 6 years old dressed as Holly-Wood, bringing a smile to her darling face. COLE The Heavenly Rockers just made that little girl's night. That'll be a moment she'll treasure forever. COACH Especially after she gives birth to Synth's baby in about 6 or 7 years. It's no secret the Synthmeister likes 'em young. He thinks jailbait means a prison escape. CABOOSE I think you've been hanging around "The King" too much, Coach. COACH At least I hang around a king and not a drag queen like you do every week. COLE (laughing) You hang around a drag queen every week, Caboose? CABOOSE He's referring to YOU, you idiot. * DING DING * BUFFER The following contest is a Los Infernales Conference semi-finals match. It is set for one fall. Introducing first...hailing Sin City, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time... THE HEAVENLY RRRROOOOOOCKERRRRSSSS! COLE What an exciting match-up we have coming up, fans. The # 4 seed Heavenly Rockers will go up against the # 8 seed, the cinderella team in this year's Anderson Cup, Los Diablos de Fuego. COACH Los Diablos might take being called a cinderella team a little too close to heart. But they did defeat The GPX, the # 1 seed and last year's Anderson Cup winners, to get here. They deserve props for that. Although they'd rather get popped, if you know what I mean. COLE The Heavenly Rockers aren't your typical 4th seed, for that matter. One of the favorites to win it all, the Heavenly Rockers. As we go back up to Michael Buffer. CUE: "Work It" BUFFER And their opponents...weighing 340 pounds, they are the sexiest tag team in all of Meh-e-co... Moracca and Mariachi... LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO! Missy Elliot's "Work It" plays in the background, but there's no Diablos. From the stands to the ring, everyone is bewildered. The music is re-started from the top, but again no sign of Los Diablos. COLE We're just as clueless are you are, fans. Los Diablos de Fuego's music is playing, but they haven't come out. COACH Oh, they came out long ago, baby boy. They just haven't showed up for their match. I bet they're late because they're still in the back doing an unnatural act. COLE L-Ladies and gentlemen, I've been told there's something going on backstage. I understand we have a camera on its way. Details are sketchy, but I'm... We cut backstage, our cameraman chugging along to the scene of the commotion. Lots of GRUNTING and SHOUTING can be heard in the halls. A swarm of OAOAST agents rush the locker room. As we follow them in, a body goes flying in the air. On the other side of the room, we see the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA stomping a flamboyantly attired figure up against a blood-stained wall. The camera zooms in on the person to reveal Moracca of Los Diablos de Fuego, curled up in a fetal position, [color=#FF0000][b]blood[/b][/color] oozing out above the eye of his torn [color=#FF99FF][b]pink mask[/b][/color]. COLE Oh, my God! Marcellus Wallace and Vincent Santana are assaulting Los Diablos in the locker room. That's inhuman. And a hate-crime, damnit! What's wrong with them? A ROAR is heard in the arena. Moe and Vinny push officials to the ground to continue their onslaught. Moe sees Mariachi trying to get back up and drills him with a running boot to the face! The roar we heard is due to the Heavenly Rockers leaving the ring to come to the defense of Los Diablos. The two rivals spot each other and go right at it. Luckily the room full of officials, which includes a microphone wielding Terry Taylor (man wants to get the scoope), are able to keep the mayhem from escalating, quickly getting in-between the warring fractions. COACH Uh...does this mean we aren't gonna have a match? COLE What do you think, genius? This is obviously not what we had planned. I think we're gonna take a break to sort everything out. We'll hope to find out more information during the break, if not later in the night. Stay with us, ladies and gentlemen. Doesn't matter where this goes, just as long as it's after the match. Obviously. COLE Well, fans, as we saw earlier tonight, the scheduled Heavenly Rockers-Los Diablos de Fuego Anderson Cup did not take place due to the heinous assault Los Diablos received at the hands of the South Central Militia. During the break our broadcast colleague Terry Taylor caught up with the South Central Miltia as they were being escorted out of the building by security. TERRY Gentlemen. Gentlemen, please, a moment of your time. What in the world were you trying to prove in your attack on Los Diablos de Fuego? MARCELLUS It was ugly, man. Ugly. TERRY What is he talking about, Vincent? What was ugly? VINCENT You said we attacked them Diablos, right? There's three sides to every story, your side, my side, and the truth. TERRY That's what I'm trying to find out. Give me your story, give me your take on the truth. VINCENT That's exactly what you're gonna get. But this ain't no take. This IS the truth. The general public has a misconception about Moe and me. They think we're thugs, a couple of gangbangers from South Central L.A., the baddest place on this earth. We ain't thugs. We're just a couple of Joes trying to make a livin', that's all. We might break a few rules here and there, but we treat people with the same amount of respect that they show us. Which brings me to Los Diablos. I ain't trying to say nothing about nobody, but...naw, I ain't gonna speak ill bout nobody. Go on 'bout your way. We just need to pray for the best, cuz I don't think Los Diablos is gonna make it. TERRY No! Ill is good! Ill brings ratings, ratings brings money, money brings food to the table. Let me have ill. I need ill. MARCELLUS Go on and speak that truth, Whitey. Proceed to give this man what he needs. VINCENT They thought we was ho's or something. I know I ain't no ho. Moe know he ain't no ho. Los Diablos thought we was ho's. We had to show 'em how hard we run in this bitch. They didn't treat us with respect. So we returned the favor. Ain't that right, Moe? MARCELLUS We gotta little somethin' in this country called the right to protect yo neck. We didn't attack nobody. It was pure self-defense, guarding our bumpers. You see, these homos-- I mean, homies came onto us in the locker room, man. They talked about talking us into the shower and scrubbing us from head to toe and everywhere in-between with soap. One of 'em got up in my ear like the Ying Yang twins “Wait till you see my OH! Wait till you see my OH!” The other one's all up there acting like he Fergie trying to get me to touch his lovely lady humps. Man, I ain't trying to mix his milk with my cocco puff. I don't want no drama. No, no, no, no drama. We done tried and told the youngbloods we just don't rock the boat that way. That's when they became angry. I ain't never seen no mad homos-- homies in my life, so imagine my surprise when these guys got up in our grills, pissed because we didn't want to engage in some man love. They started turning the locker room upside down, throwing chairs around and shit. They was going crazier then the bitch who dumped hot grits on Al Greene. We tried and talk 'em down, saying be calm and cool, don't be no fool. That's when shit got slim and shady, man. Next thing I know we found ourselves down on the ground, on the defensive. I ain't never been more scared in my life, cousin. This was real, son. Real. We live in LA, we know how Mexicans throw down, but forget throw down, these dudes wanted to go down. They were going for our pants, man. Our pants. ]TERRY I haven't had someone go for my pants in ten years. MARCELLUS This was straight up rape, no doubt. No means no -- no matter if you man or woman, yo. Everything after that is clear as day. The fight was out, so we had to knock they lights out. We proceed to take them boys to the woodshed, splitting they wigs and busting straight through they cerebellum. Shit look like someone took a machete to a watermelon. We was running them like a Red Cross blood drive, but we was taking blood by the liter, not the pint I had blood on my hands, and it wasn't the blood of Christ. That's when it hit me and Vinny. (sarcastically sobbing) We looked up to the heavens and like that bright light shining down on us. It was a sign from above. The Lord was telling us it's time to change our ways, to renounce violence and live a better life. It may be too late for Tookie, but it ain't too late for us. Mariachi and Moracca, my brothers, I ask for your forgiveness and your hand in prayer. Together as one we can make a difference. What better way to make a difference than for you to give us your spot in the Anderson Cup so we can spread our message of hope and peace. My brothers, we are praying for you. And remember, God wants you to give us your spot. We love you. Thank you, brother Taylor. TERRY Thank you, gentlemen. You know, now that I'm told your offer to replace Los Diablos in the Anderson Cup has been denied, maybe you'd like to come to church with me this Sunday. VINCENT Denied?! MARCELLUS What'coo talkin' about, Taylor? TERRY In the middle of your wonderful and heartwarming sermon, Marcellus, I was informed through my earpiece that General Manager Axel has turned down your offer. The Heavenly Rockers advance to the Los Infernales Conference Finals via a bye. MARCELLUS THE FUCK?! TERRY (flabbergasted) Excuse me? It's trying times like these, where you really need to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? And I don't think Jesus would respond quite the way you did. MARCELLUS If Jesus ain't no punk ass faggot, Jesus is gonna be doing a drive by from Green Bay to the OAOAST offices, lighting bitches up like a switchboard. CORNETTE (Off-Screen) (panting) Guys, guys, guys. About to keel over from exhaustion, Jim Cornette holds himself up by grabbing onto Marcellus. VINCENT What the hell is going on, Cornette? You said you had an in with Axel. And as you can see, apparently we're in the out. CORNETTE I-I don't know what happened. I gave Axel all the pros of allowing you to replace Los Diablos, but he went on and on about how the fans love the Heavenly Rockers and how ratings shoot through the roof when they appear on TV. I then told him about the lack of competition they've had to face in the Anderson Cup, while you guys had to go up against the # 2 seed in the tournament, only for Axel to tell me he doesn't care what you're concerned about as long as he accomplishes 3 things: run Zack Malibu out of the OAOAST, increase company profits and therefore his own salary. MARCELLUS So I said all that shit for nothing?! Cornette, you bastard! You got the belts, you got yo block on fire, and we're left on in the goddamn cold! CORNETTE No, no, no. I would never leave you guys high and dry. We have a deal and I fully intend to live up to my end of it. Look, let's go discuss this some place more private, huh? Cornette laughs neverously as the SCM nod their heads in agreement. Security finishes escorting the men out of the building. TERRY (shouting) Does this mean we're off for Sunday?

With the AC beginning in two weeks, here are the match schedules. We'll be doing 2 matches a week, one from each conference. Your name will appear next to the match you've agreed to write in BOLD text with the winner of the match in italics. If you'd like to have your match moved back or up a week, let me know and we'll work something out. OPENING ROUND January 5th LI: #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- Zack MWC: #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #7 Glory by Anarchy -- KC January 12th LI: #4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- SJ MWC: #1 Black T vs. #8 James Blonde & Faqu -- Zack January 19th LI: #2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. #7 The South Central Militia -- Alf MWC: #4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. #5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- Tony January 26th LI: : #3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. #6 NRG -- Patty MWC: #3 The Love Doctors vs. #6 Team Heyross -- Eski SEMI-FINALS February 2nd LI: #4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego via forefit; SCM assault Los Diablos before match, trying to take their place after having been eliminated earlier in the tournament -- Tony MWC: #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #6 Team Heyross -- Tony February 9th LI: #3 Sk8ter Boiz vs. #2 TK & Reject -- Alf MWC: #4 The Lonestar Gunslingers vs. #1 Black T -- Tony AC CONFERENCE FINALS February 16th LI: #4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #2 TK & Reject -- Alf MWC: #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- Tony AC FINALS, ZERO HOUR The Heavenly Rockers vs. The Sooner Bruisers -- Tony

There's been a change to the scheduled. The Lonestar Gunslingers-Black T match has been moved up to this week, with Team Heyross vs. the Sooners pushed until next week. EDIT: Never mind. The original schedule is back in after realizing Alf was Team Heyross booked for the following week.

"Chase" hits and the boo birds are in full force as the daperly attired James E. Cornette leads Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, the New New Midnight Express, to the ring for this championship match. Fans pelting their least favorite wrestler(s) with garabge isn't a rarity, but throwing a t-shirt at them is. Ned turns a C.O.D. t-shirt into a makeshift hankerchief, blowing his nose and tossing it back into the crowd. COLE Blanchard letting the fans know what he thinks about C.O.D. in a very unsanitary matter. I bet Krista is watching this match with great interest. COLE Oh, I'm sure she is. She's probably already thinking of ways to get Ned to take her back. Well, toots, it ain't gonna happen. You blew your shot at the Ned Man. But you know what they say, fellas. Desperate people do desperate things. I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up out of the blue with another baby claiming its Ned's. The fans jump out of their seats as Weezer's "Beverly Hills" begins blaring over the loud speakers, signaling the arrive of the World Tag Team Champions. And with the belts come all the nice perks of being champion -- money, women, and LOUD PYRO! Leon Rodez is still his fun-loving self, mingling with the fans, but the usually calm demeanor that accompanies Zack Malibu is replaced with a scowl, a man completely focused at the task at hand. * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER The following contest at Anglepalooza 2006, sancation by the OAOAST Board of Directors, is for the OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! When the bell rings the referee in charge of the action, Charles Robinson. Are you ready? Wrestling fans...ARE YOU RRRRREADYYYYY? Then...from Toronto, Ontario, Canada... LLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLE! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers...accompanied by their manager, the legendary James E. Cornette, weighing a total of 460 pounds, here are the former two-time tag team champions of the world, Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, the NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXXXXXPRRRRESSSSSS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jim Cornette is the only one in the arena hooting and hollering for the New New Midnight Express, who raise their arms, smiling into the camera as they boost about becoming the first 3-time World Tag Team Champions. BUFFER Their opponents...hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and Providence, Rhode Island respectively...they weigh in at a total combined weight of 428 pounds. The reigning and defending, PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ... ZACK MALIBU... THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!! The ROAR of the crowd is deafening. The Usual Suspects break out the old "Bash Brothers" routine, bashing their forearms together before removing their tag team titles and holding them up in the air for what could be the last time. They kiss their belts, with Leon getting a quick peck on Zack's belt... COACH Oh...:lol:..the symbolism. The Usual Suspects have just kissed the tag titles goodbye. ...and hand them over to referee Charles Robin-- No, wait. Chaos ensues when the Midnights grab the belts from the champs, resulting in a tug-of-war for the tag team titles. Zack and Leon let go of their end of the belts, causing Simon and Ned to fall back. The sold out crowd is electric as the New New Midnight Express and The Usual Suspects slug it out, with the World Tag Team Champions getting the better end of it. To the ropes go the NNMX and up into the cosmos via a pair of back bodydrops. DOUBLE NOGGIN'-KNOCKER sends the Midnights out to the floor and to a whining Jim Cornette. COLE This is not how Jim Cornette wanted the match to start. In fact, the match hasn't even begun. The bell hadn't sounded. Still, the World Tag Team Champions got this match off to a hot start, quickly getting the crowd into it. The New New Midnight Express delay the start of the match for as long as they can, still shaking off the cobwebs, until Charles Robinson tells them to get on with the match. "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton and Zack Malibu start for their teams, but not before Simon and Jim Cornette share a hug. And another. And then one more for the road. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH I don't know what's wrong with these people. Outside of being Canadian, of course. They obviously aren't bonding like Simon and James E. * DING DING * With the pre-match activites out of the way, the bell sounds and the match is officially underway. Ned high-fives Simon and cheers him on as he locks up with the incomparable Zack Malibu. Simon using his height and weight advantage to snap Zack over with an armdrag. He laughs in the franchise's face, saying that was too easy. That isn't the case when they lock back up, as it's Zack who flings Singleton across the ring with the armdrag takeover. The wrong side of the ring as Simon is drilled with a right hand from Leon Rodez as he gets up and is taken over again with an armdrag. Singleton crawls to his corner and confers with Blanchard and Cornette. After what's said is said, he and Malibu lock horns again. Simon backs Zack in the corner and surprisingly breaks cleanly on his own accord, but decides to act like a smart-ass afterwards, sticking his finger in Malibu's face, prompting the former World Heavyweight Champion to SLAP the taste out of the arrogant challenger's mouth. The competitive juices flowing, the two lunge forward and engage in yet another collar-and-elbow tie-up. Now it is Sarcastic Simon who is backed into the corner. Simon asks the referee to keep a close eye on Zack, to ensure he doesn't try to land a cheapshot. Wouldn't you know, it's Simon who takes the cheapshot...but Zack blocks the right hand and returns fire. He takes his reeling opponent over with a side headlock, which draws the ire of Ned Blanchard and Jim Cornette, both of who call for the immediate disqualification of The Usual Suspects, alledging Zack pulled on Simon's hair. A charge that is quickly dismissed by referee Charles Robinson. COACH That's right. You tell 'em, James E. Malibu pulled the hair! COLE He did not. COACH I saw it! COLE You only saw what you wanted to see. COACH And I suppose you didn't see Zack Malibu land that cheapshot. COLE What cheapshot?! It was Simon who attempt the cheapshot. Zack just defended himself. CABOOSE I find it rather humorous that Jim Cornette claimed the decision to include the stipulation the tag titles could change via countout or disqualification was to ensure The Usual Suspects did not resort to such tatics once frustration began to set in when, in his words, they couldn't defeat the New New Midnight Express. With all due respect to the New New Midnight Express' in-ring abilities, after what we've just seen, it's clear to me their entire strategy is based on exploiting the countout/DQ stipulation. COACH That's why it's called strategy, baby boy. And I don't wanna hear you or The Usual Suspects fan boys say Zack and Leon got screwed when they lose. Don't forget that old saying, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." If either one of the Suspects crack under pressure -- and they will, just look at what happened this past Thursday night -- then they only have themselves to blame. Charles Robinson has the gall to ask Simon if he wants to quit some 5 minutes into the match. Of course he doesn't. Unable to squirm out of the hold, Simon rolls Zack onto his back and holds onto a HANDFUL OF TIGHTS! COLE He's got the tights, Charles! COACH Quit complaining. As everyone who's attended referee's school knows, they're taught to keep their eyes on the shoulders at all times. Charles is only doing his job. ONE... TWO... Zack is able to shift his weight over while maintaining the headlock. That doesn't prevent Simon from trying the same move again. But Zack shifts his weight back on top before Charles even has a chance to count. Simon gets up to a return base and looks to escape the headlock with a back suplex, but Zack floats over and takes Singleton down with a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! ONE... TWO-- KICKOUT! The Franchise keeps Singleton grounded with a front facelock. But that doesn't last long, as Simon drives Zack into the corner and unleashes a barrage of knife-edge chops that sound off the "WOO" alarms. He brings Malibu out of the corner and sends him off to the ropes, only to get leveled by a shoulder block. Zack hits the near side and again knocks Singleton down with a shoulder block. Zack hits the ropes again, and he'll have company this time around as Simon joins him in running the ropes, resulting in the ever so popular CRISS-CROSS! They each zoom past the other until Zack falls to his stomach and leapfrogs over Singleton as he goes over the top and comes charging forward, then slides through the legs and catches Simon on the way back with a snap powerslam! ONE... TWO... Simon RAKES the eyes to break up the pin. He grounds Malibu with a side headlock takeover to slow the pace of the match, but Zack quickly counters into a headscissors...which Simon counters by floating on top of him. Zack BRIDGES up and into a BACKSLIDE! ONE... TWO... Simon slithers out but right into an arm-wringer. Simon somersaults over and kips-up, then drives the knee into Malibu's midsection. He traps Zack in the corner and rocks him with a big right hand. Malibu blocks Singleton's hiptoss out of the corner with one of his own. Singelton sent hard into the corner, and back bodydropped out. Zack takes Simon back to the mat with a headlock. Simon rises to his feet and fires Zack to the ropes. The Usual Suspects with a blind tag. Simon misses a back elbow and has Zack slide through his legs for a second time. He turns around and goes down from a DOUBLE DROPKICK. The Handsome Hustler gets caught coming in with a DOUBLE HIPTOSS, then is clotheslined over the top rope! The World Tag Team Champions turn their attention to Sarcastic Simon. They whip him to the ropes and take him up and down with a double back bodydrop. Blanchard tries blindsiding Leon and Zack with a clothesline, but they hear Ned rumbling towards them and move out of the way, leaving the Midnights to bump into each other! Though Toronto is far from Beverly Hills, down and out goes Ned, while his partner gets hung up between the middle and top ropes. Sarcastic Simon becomes a human teeter-totter, not to mention a punching bag, for The Usual Suspects, who take turns slapping him around. Zack then hits the ropes and sends Simon falling to the arena floor courtesy of a YAKUZA KICK~! COLE Oh, man. That caught Simon square in the jaw. The crowd is on their feet, rooting on The Usual Suspects who have dominated in the opening going of the match. Jim Cornette comforting his men on the outside. The odds are stacked against World Tag Team Champions, but they have come to fight tonight. Jim Cornette consoles Simon, clutching his jaw, while Ned jumps on the apron and verbally abuses Charles Robinson for allowing the illegal double-teaming. Charles allows Ned to vent his frustration, remaining poised throughout. That all changes when Ned pushes Charles, who responds by SHOVING NED OFF THE APRON! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Charles Robinson has no right putting his hands on a wrestlers. COLE Likewise for the wrestlers. COLE Yeah, but... COLE No ifs, ands, or butts. Now Jim Cornette is on the apron. What's he doing up there? Jim Cornette quickly comes to the defense of Ned, berating Charles Robinson for shoving him and allowing the match get out of control. Charles explains the double-teaming was done within the alloted 5 seconds, but Cornette isn't having any of it. He gets up in Robinson's face, poking him in the chest with the TENNIS RACKET. The crowd gets behind Charles Robinson as he returns the finger-poke, letting James E. know he's the one in charge. Cornette slams his tennis racket to the floor and removes his purple polyester jacket, then throws it in Charles' face! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Robinson grabs the jacket and throws it back at Cornette! The Louisville Slugger's had it now. He steps inside the ring and rolls up his sleeves, putting his fists up and challenging Charles to a fight. Charles doesn't know what to make of it. So he does what everybody would do -- he turns to the crowd. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE The crowd wants Charles to take Cornette up on his offer. Even Leon Rodez gets into the act, also urging Charles to duke it out with James E. That swagger we all remember from Charles Robinson's "Lil' Naitch" returns as he accepts the challenge and motions for Cornette to bring it on. COACH What's Leon Rodez doing pouring gasoline onto the fire? A good referee wouldn't act the way Charles Robinson is. The guy's missed calls left and right tonight. He gave The Usual Suspects one of the most liberal 5 seconds in history. If you aren't out in 5, that's a DQ. By my count they were in the ring for 15 seconds. We should have new tag team champions. COLE 15 seconds?! Cornette and Robinson pair off in the corners of the New New Midnight Express and The Usual Suspects respectively. Cornette spars with Ned while Charles removes his stripped referee's shirt. When Cornette turns around and sees a now shirtless Charles Robinson flaunting TEH WATER PIZTOLZ~! he shrieks like a girl and high-tails it. COACH I--I can't believe it. Charles Robinson just punk'd James E. CABOOSE Charles is definitely in charge tonight. COLE Oh, yeah! Compared to his own flabby arms, Charles Robinson has GUNZ~! that rival Bohemoth. As things calm down the Midnights make a change with Ned taking the place of Simon. He swings over the top rope and does a couple of leg stretches to warm up. He chicken struts up to Rodez and calls him every name in the book to try and rattle "The Silky Smooth One," but it's Ned who loses his cool when Leon starts mocking his martial arts background with goofy stances and Kung-Fu grunts. Ned gets in a karate stance and challenges Rodez to a martial arts contest. COLE I think we're gonna have ourselves a bonus attraction, boys. We've had a wrestling match, a referee and a manager getting into it, and now a karate contest. Only in the OAOAST. COACH Karate Fighters this ain't, Rodez. The Handsome Hustler is totally going to wipe the floor with the New-Age Love Machine. Neddy is the second coming of Bruce Lee, baby. COLE Uh, sure. "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" Jim Cornette covers his ears with both hands, doing his best to block out the chants of "LEON." There's no question who the fans are behind. Ned and Leon are set to go in the ring. Blanchard fakes a right and comes back with kicks to the legs and ribs, sending Rodez reeling. Ned then takes aim at Leon's head, connecting with a back forearm shot but fortunately missing a roundhouse kick. Leon tries sweeping Ned off his feet, only to have Ned leap up and come down with a elbow to the top of the head. Ned doesn't let up, going right at Leon, working him over with martial arts blows to the body. He points towards Zack and tells him, "This is how you do it!" COACH :lol: Take note Zack. Ned's about to show you how to do a real superkick, a savate kick, son. Ned lunges at Rodez, but Leon catches the leg and spins Ned around. Within seconds Ned goes from being in control to having a case of HEAMORRHOIDS after an inverted atomic drop. Rodez leaps onto Ned's chest, wrapping his arms around the Handsome Hustler's neck and driving him straight down into his knees with an inverted lungblower, which Ned sells like he's been shot out of a cannon, tumbling all the way over to The Usual Suspects corner. Ned bumbles around the ring like a drunken old man, jelly-legged and all, and eats a right from Zack. And one from Rodez. Another from Zack. The Silky Smooth One charges a doubled over Ned and takes him over with a flying headscissors. He goes for it again, but Simon is there with a right...that is blocked by Rodez, who decks Singleton from the shoulders of Blanchard, and then takes Ned over! Blanchard gets up in the wrong side of town, staggered by a roundhouse right from Malibu. Rodez seizes the moment, whipping Blanchard to the ropes and connecting with a FLYING FOREARM! ONE... TWO... Simon breaks the count up, scooping Leon up by the hair and throwing a punch...which Rodez blocks again and nails Singleton with a standing dropkick. Blanchard levels Rodez from behind with a Northern Lariat. He rams him face-first into Simon's knee. After an exchange is made, the Midnights deck Rodez with a double back elbow. They attempt to follow up with a back suplex, but Leon floats over the top and rolls the Midnights up. COLE He may pin them both! ONE... TWO... The Midnights kick Rodez off, sending him charging towards the ropes, where he springs off and nails both Midnights with a dropkick as they sit-up! Leon immediately tags in Zack, who climbs up the turnbuckles. Simon and Ned try escaping the ring, but they both roll the wrong way and BUTT heads, allowing Zack to connect with a SENTON BACK SPLASH! ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! The Usual Suspects with a double cover! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" Simon runs right into a double hiptoss and Patty Cake elbow drop. Well, not really. Despite Leon's best efforts he's unable to get Zack to go along with it, but they still drop the elbow. Like newly seperated conjoined twins trying to get back together, Leon and Zack kip-up and deck Ned with a pair of fists. Leon drags Blanchard over to The Usual Suspects in an armbar. The Usual Suspects with nothing but quick tags as they take turns coming off the middle turnbuckle with double-axehandles to the outstretched arm of Ned. Rodez and Malibu with a double arm-wringer on Blanchard, then they proceed to chop the hell out of Ned, knocking him off his feet. Firm believers in equality, they drop a double elbow on Ned and kip-up. They duck as Sarcastic Simon flies at them with a SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY, leaving the Sultan of Sarcasm to crash down onto Ned! Simon gets up holding his stomach, and is clotheslined over the top rope. Zack exits as Leon leaps onto Blanchard's shoulders for a hurricarana...but Ned counters with a POWERBOMB! ONE... TWO... Rodez gets a shoulder up. Blanchard hits a vertical suplex and drags Leon over to his corner, tagging Simon, who goes to the top. Leon is slingshotted in the corner, but he's able to grab the top rope and stop his momentum, headbutting Singleton in the stomach and HURLING HIM OFF THE TOP ONTO NED! An irate Jim Cornette calls for a disqualification, claiming the headbutt was low, but the calls fall on deaf ears. Ned misses another roundhouse kick and gets drilled with a regular atomic drop, causing him to bump into Simon yet again! They bail outside and shove each other, bringing the fans out of their seats as the New New Midnight Express are set to exploded. COACH No, fellas! Don't you see what they're trying to do? Divided and conquer. They know they can't beat you. COLE The Usual Suspects have completely frustrated the New New Midnight Express. From nearly the opening bell the World Tag Team Champions have dominated. Jim Cornette gets between Simon and Ned, pleading with them to calm down, telling them everything will be fine if they get back to wrestling like the two-time World Tag Team Champions they are. Simon and Ned agree, shaking each others hands and embracing James E. in a group hug. COACH Yeah! Dr. Phil ain't got nothing on James E., baby. Go out there and kick their ass, fellas. Blanchard returns to the ring and locks up with Rodez, taking him down with a drop toehold into a front facelock. Leon and Ned trade counters, reversing the other's hammerlock. Ned reaches between his legs and takes Leon's right leg out of under him. Spinning toehold into the Figure-- No! Leon uses his left foot to kick Ned off, sending him crashing into the corner. Scoope and a slam. Rodez tags Zack. Malibu with a fury of knife-edge chops and right hands. He whips Blanchard to the ropes and hits the TRENDSETTER! ONE... TWO... Simon steps in to break up the count, stomping Zack in the back of the neck. As the referee gets Simon out of the ring, Zack rams Ned into the top turnbuckle and tags Leon. Rodez whips Ned to the corner and charges in, using the middle turnbuckle as a springboard to drive the knee into Ned's handsome face! Blanchard stumbles out as Leon steps out on the apron and climbs to the top, bringing the fans up on their feet in anticipation. Leon soars through the air and connects with a FLYING CROSSBODY that would make Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat proud. ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Leon grabs a side headlock, only to have Ned shove him off to the ropes after a couple of forearm shots to the ribs. Rodez takes Blanchard down with a shoulder block. Leon hits the ropes and pauses as Ned goes up for a leapfrog. He waits for Blanchard to come down before connecting with a... JAB! JAB! JAB! JAB! JAB! Rodez turns to the crowd and blows them a kiss. He then turns back to the opponent to compete MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT with an en-- NO! Ned ducks the enzurigi and lifts Rodez up for a back suplex, but Rodez floats over and drives him to the ropes. Ned makes the blind tag to Simon as he's rolled up. ONE... TWO... Simon damn nearky decapitates Rodez with a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! Simon tosses Leon outside, then taunts Zack to distract the referee while Ned slams Rodez on the floor. Charles Robinson turns around and sees Ned climbing back on the apron. He warns him to stay in the corner or risk disqualification. From his knees Leon grabs the bottom rope and pulls himself up onto the apron, only to have Simon rush him and lay him out with a running forearm smash to the sternum that sends Rodez CRASHING STRAIGHT BACK INTO THE GUARDRAIL! COLE Oh, my! COACH :lol: Yes! I told you. I told you we were gonna have new tag team champions. Leon's gonna get counted out. CABOOSE I can't see from my manage point, but I believe Leon has injured the ribs. Caboose is right. Leon writhers around in pain on the arena floor, clutching his ribs. Zack rushes over to the aid of his partner, making sure the Midnights or their manager don't to take advantage of the situation. They do when Charles steps outside to demand Zack return to his corner. Simon and Ned scoope Leon up and drop stomach-first on the guardrail! Cornette then runs over and BLASTS Rodez across the ribs with the racket! He waddles back to the NNMX corner, struting around the ring. Zack tries getting to Leon but is stopped by the referee, who Zack nearly throws to the ground before realizing the consequences. COLE Oh, what a cheapshot by Cornette. The fact he's gloating about it is even more sickening. Zack is completely helpless in the corner as he watches the New New Midnight Express assault his tag team partner. COACH He can do something about it if he wants to. Hell, I'll personally hand him my chair to use. CABOOSE Let's not forget Leon's ribs were injured by the New New Midnight Express on The Love Shack a few months back. You have got to believe they aren't fully 100%. COACH Especially after they've went up against steel. Ned looks to slam Leon again on the floor, but Charles Robinson catches him lifting Leon up. With a smile on his face Ned places Leon on the apron, as if he's saying "See, I was just helping him up." Charles doesn't buy it, telling Ned to go back to his corner. When he does Simon tags him in. Rodez goes face-first into the top turnbuckle in the NNMX corner. Blanchard shoves Rodez into the corner and works the ribs over with punishing open palm strikes, forcing Charles to escort him to the center of the ring so that Leon is allowed out of the corner. Jim Cornette hands Simon the hanky located on the outer breast pocket of his jacket, which Simon wraps around Leon's throat to CHOKE him with. Being asked to turn around by Zack, Charles only sees Simon wiping the beads of sweat off his forehead with the hanky. No illegal actives, much to the delight of Simon and James E. who high-five each other. He informs Zack of what he saw, all while Simon has started choking Leon again with the hanky. Zack's like "Fuck this" and runs past Ned and Charles, diving into the NNMX corner and hammering Simon with wild rights and lefts. Charles restrains Zack while Simon and Ned double-team Leon. Rodez fights back with right hands, but his comeback is short-lived as Ned rakes the eyes. Blanchard tags Simon, bringing Leon out of the corner in the process. Ned hits the atomic drop that sends Leon into the awaiting arms of Simon and an old school rib/backbreaker! Another quick tag from the Midnights, as Simon hangs Leon up on the top rope while holding onto his legs. Ned hits the far side and leaps over Simon, dropping a double-axehandle across the lower back/ribs of Leon. Rodez drops to his knees, resting his head on the middle rope, leaving Jim Cornette a clear shot at him. And Corny takes it, jabbing the handle of the racket into the throat! Cornette walks away, whistling, as if nothing had happened. Leon tosses and turns like a fish out of water, maybe having just shallowed his tonsils, if he still has them. Blanchard drapes Leon over the middle rope, driving the knee into the back of the neck to choke Rodez. The Midnight continue to use the referee to their advantage. As Ned brings Charles mid-ring, Simon hits Rodez with the point of the elbow across the head. Once Simon's work is done Blanchard swivels the arms and the hips, before hitting the ropes. CALL THE BITCH BOJANGLES...AND TELL HER I GOT CROTCHED ON THE MIDDLE ROPE! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Having moved out of the way, Leon gets up to his feet and hits Ned with THE FACIAL! Instead of going for the cover Leon chooses to go make the tag, but Simon comes in and grabs Rodez from behind, pulling him into his arms for a SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER! Simon drags Ned to the corner and tags himself up. Higher than an eagle and RVD, Simon comes off the top with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! Blanchard and Cornette begin celebrating. ONE... TWO... THR-- NO, KICKOUT! Simon and Cornette complain about a slow count, voicing their frustration in the inability to finish off Rodez. Simon casually dumps Leon over the top rope like a teenage mother disposes her new born child in a dumpster. While Ned sends Leon crashing into the guardrail outside, Simon baits Zack in the ring by slapping him in the face. As the ref tries to keep Zack in his corner, Simon goes out after Leon and tries ramming him into the ringpost, but Rodez blocks it and posts Simon! The move buys Rodez a little time but not much, as Blanchard drops him with a double-axehandle off the apron. Malibu continues to struggle with the referee, all while the Midnights set Leon up for a double suplex on the arena floor...BUT RODEZ COUNTERS WITH A DDT! COLE A desperation DDT from Leon Rodez. But he's still isolated in the New New Midnight Express side of the ring. Rodez may be isolated in the NNMX side of the ring, but he isn't isolated from his partner much longer, as Zack ignores Charles Robinson's request to stay in his corner and nails Simon and Ned with a RUNNING DIVING CLOTHESLINE FROM THE APRON! COACH Disqualifiy him, Charles, you idiot! COLE For what reason? COACH Disobeying referee's orders. Charles told Malibu to stay in his corner, and he didn't. He oughta DQ The Usual Suspects and award the titles to the NNMX. Robinson warns Zack another outburst will result in a disqualification. Leon Rodez getting kicked in the ribs by Jim Cornette would result in a disqualification as well, but Charles doesn't see it. Narcissistic Ned is once again the legal man following a tag. He brings Leon up onto the apron, leaning him up against the ropes and hammers him across the chest with a hard forearm shot. Jim Cornette hits another cheapshot with the racket, jabbing it in Rodez' midsection. But it's Leon who gets the last laugh. He gets clotheslined into the ring by Simon, but lands on his feet and wipes out Cornette with a dropkick through the bottom rope! Leon catches Ned charging towards him with a back kick, and the two trade hiptoss attempts, with Rodez landing on the apron and ramming the shoulder into Blanchard's midsection through the middle rope. He flips into the ring and brings Ned down a sunset flip! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Ned counters a hiptoss into an abdominal stretch, raking the fingers and elbow into the ribs. Blanchard waits for the right time to reach back and grab Simon's hand, to add further leverage to the submission hold. Leon's screams prompt Charles Robinson to look behind Ned, checking for any illegal activity. Zack shouts at Charles from halfway across the ring, telling him Ned is getting added support from Simon. Charles checks, and again sees nothing. Ned and Simon lock hands again, with Jim Cornette yanking on Simon's free hand to give his team more leverage. This time Charles Robinson catches the Midnights right in the act and breaks Simon's and Ned's grip with a kick, causing Ned to get hiptossed. As Leon makes a play for his corner, Ned trips him up and keeps him near the NNMX corner. He tags Simon in and whips Leon to the ropes. Drop toehold followed by elbow drop to the back of the head by Simon. Vintage Midnight Express. Simon with a scoope and a slam. He goes up to the top as Ned returns to the ring. ROCKET LAUNCHER! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! Zack pulls Simon off. The Midnights with yet another tag. Beautifully executed double underhook suplex by Blanchard, who grinds the forearm into the side of the face as he covers. ONE... TWO... Rodez kicks out of the nonchalant cover all too easily. Ned turns Leon onto his side and bars the arm and the leg, while sticking the knee in the spine of the back for a modified version of the bow and arrow. COACH This is the mark of a great team, fellas. The Midnights have completely isolated Rodez from that prima donna Zack Malibu. It's only a matter of time until Rodez gives up, is pinned, or has the referee stop the match because he's unable to continue. Quite frankely, if I was either one of The Usual Suspects, God forbid, I would of phoned the office and said I wasn't coming to work tonight. I would've forefited the belts and save myself the ass-kicking. CABOOSE Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu aren't that kind of champion. They aren't like a certain former World Champion who goes AWOL for weeks and shows up on national television to forefit the title every wrestler worth their salt strive to win. They're fighters. They're going to win like men, and they're going to lose like men. That's the sign of a true champion. Leon punches Ned repeatedly in the face with his free hand until he's freed. He rocks Blanchard with right hands, but is raked in eyes and caught in the back of the head with a heel kick. Blanchard tags out in favor of Simon, who tries to ram Leon into the top turnbuckle but has his attempt thwart with a shot to the gut, and then is sent face-first into the turnbuckle! He quickly puts a stop to Rodez' momentum by raking the eyes. A heel's best friend. Simon follows up with a jaw-dropping right hand. He fires Leon to the far corner, following through and eating nothing but the sole of a boot by Rodez. Simon charges again, but gets caught with another boot to the face. Singleton tries his luck once more, and this time he doesn't get a boot to the face, but is rolled up with a sunset flip! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Simon rushes to his feet and drops Rodez straight down onto his knee with an STO. Simon tags Ned in, and the Midnights whip Rodez to the ropes. DOUBLE FLAPJACK...COUNTERED INTO A FACEBUSTER! Leon isn't looking to win Best Drama in a Wrestling Match as his dives to his corner and tags Zack, triggering a crowd EXPLOSION like no other. Ned is decked by a roundhouse right, as is Simon. An inverted atomic drop for Simon. And one for Ned. Malibu hits the ropes and levels Singleton with a clothesline. Malibu whips Blanchard to the corner and catches him coming out with a belly-to-belly suplex, which he uses to hit up the POP DROP fisherman's buster! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Zack slaps his leg, signaling for the Yakuza Kick, and hits the ropes, where Jim Cornette awaits with a SHOT to the back with the tennis racket! Ned with an inside cradle. COLE No! What a horrible way to lose the titles. COACH The Usual Suspects will win like men, and they'll lose like men. Ain't that right, 'Boosey? ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO, SIR! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Cornette just about has a coronary outside as Zack kicks out. Malibu whipped to the ropes. DOUBLE FLAP... LEON SPEARS SIMON TO THE MAT! Ned continues through with a singular flapjack, but Zack floats over and spikes him on his knee with a rock bottom backbreaker. Then, along with Leon, clotheslines Simon over the top to the floor. Leon waits in the corner as Zack scales the turnbuckles. COACH They're not gonna do what I think they're gonna do, are they? THE ATOMIC BLONDE, a/k/a the Rocket Launcher! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! Cornette reaches underneath the bottom rope and yanks Zack off Ned. He leans up against the apron, scratching his forehead with the racket, business as usual. That's until Zack and Leon pull James E. up on the apron and slingshot him into the ring. They grab Cornette by the collar, cocking their right hands and looking at the crowd. Cornette gives his best arguement to be freed, but like WWE lawyers, he loses the case...and gets popped in the face! Simon jumps The Usual Suspects from behind, sending Leon to the floor with a running knee to the back, and wails away on Zack until Ned is able to join him. The Midnights rock Malibu against the ropes with hard right hands and knife-edge chops, then shoot him to the ropes. Zack avoids a double back elbow and gets tagged by Leon as he hits the ropes and levels Ned with a diving clothesline. Simon catches Zack getting up to his feet with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER and throws him outside. He turns around to meet Leon Rodez and a front facelock. Rodez runs up the turnbuckles and plants Simon with a tornado DDT. Leon then informs Ned NO FAT CHICKS allowed, successfully converting the hiptoss into a backbreaker ala a VHS tape into DVD. Rodez positions Blanchard near the corner and goes up to the top. COLE Oh, no. Don't tell me... Leon, the ribs! Remember the ribs! COACH Yes! Do it! Do it! BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES... NO! Simon pulls Ned out of harm's way, and Leon avoids harm by landing on his feet. Rodez pulls Simon onto the apron, but Singleton snaps Leon's neck down on the top rope. The Midnights return to the ring and try to hit a double clothesline, but Rodez goes under, the Midnights momentum taking them running across the ring, where Zack trips Simon up and drags him outside. The two brawl on the arena floor as Leon catches Blanchard on the rebound with an EXPLODER SLAM! COLE That could do it! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT! Rodez scoopes Blanchard up, who reverses Leon's Irish whip attempt and hangs him stomach-first on the top rope with a STUN GUN, knocking the air out of Rodez! Zack dives back into the ring to break up the count, but Simon holds onto his legs for dear life. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * COACH :lol: COLE The New New Midnight Express are tag team champions again! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXXXXXXPRRRRRESSSSSSS! CUE: "Chase" Michael Buffer hands the tag titles to Charles Robinson who has them stripped away by Jim Cornette. He enters the ring and presents the belts to Simon and Ned like a doctor handing a new born baby to its mother. The Midnights clutch the belts closely to their chests, cherishing the moment. Across the ring from them are the now former champions, The Usual Suspects. They walk up to Zack, who's attending to Leon, and taunt him with the tag titles. No one would blame Zack is he struck one or both of the Midnights, but he chooses to stand by his friend/partner and fight another day. COLE Zack showed what kind of a man he is right there. He isn't a prima donna, Coach. COACH And he isn't a champion any longer. :lol: COLE (CONT'D) He's a man. The Usual Suspects gave it all they had, but we have new World Tag Team Champions. COACH (singing) Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! COLE History has been made, gentlemen. The first 3-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, the New New Midnight Express.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has work to do on their AP match. I have some of it written but I've since gone back and changed a good chunk of it. I thought this week's show was very strong. Everything seemed to be clicking, from the promos to the matches. Without question one of our best pre-PPV shows we've ever done, IMO. Either Axel has a damn big office or 29 OAOAST superstars were crammed in one room. Although the thought of all the Originals/anti-Upstarts wrestlers confined to a small space while The Upstarts wine and dine is pretty cool. Axel flexing his power to start the show. Kickass match to start the show. The middle portion to the end was rocking. Hard fought win for Rodez. We follow up an excellent match with an excellent promo from Zack. Some might say he's our Triple H. I say can Triple H take over a dance floor like our man Zack can? Hell, no. To steal a line from Michael P.S. Hayes, Brock's match was an "execution of an exhibition." A showcase for the big man. The Rodez/COD/Los Diablos segment was absolutely F'N' priceless. Lots of great lines. Alix talking about not having received presents until tonight and Leon repeatedly saying he wanted to have sex with her was hilarious. You know the show is rockin' when even DAVE Hebner's getting some love. Good thing the HI-YAH tag belts weren't on the line. Uh-oh. I smell a feud. Book it! Nice, little match. I sorta knew Sly was coming back. Outside of NYU, The Superstar or AS himself, there isn't anybody that could live up to a surprise return. More singles characters are welcome. I think we have a shortage of faces. I see we have a lot of guys who like to play dress up. Good promo and angle to push the World Title match at AP. Hurray for Patty! He touched me up. I mean, he touched up my work not me. For some reason I thought running into a woman's breasts was a great finish. And because of him I fell behind on my AP match. So if it sucks you know why. But anything for Patty, Patty, Patty O'Green. He's so fine he makes me scream. PATTY! Loved the NNMX-Zack match. Zack looked strong--and crazy. The NNMX looked strong. Everybody came out smelling like a rose. Now I gotta deliver at Anglepalooza. Raw this ain't. It's always refreshing when we give the ME slot to guys other than the main players. Helluva effort. I was a bit confused by the Heartland Title match. The match itself was very entertaining, but was it No DQ? It didn't say in the intros so I don't know. MOTN: Tough choice. There's 3 matches you could give it to, but I gotta go with Dan Black vs. Leon Rodez. It may be bias talking, but I really liked that match. LOTN: "You may refer to me as “My intellectual superior” and I, in turn, will refer to you solely as “The Douche". Got that, Douche?" -- Krista Isadora Duncan

First, Tony Brannigan. Looking sharpe in a tan suit TONY BRANNIGAN enters the drawing room, making eye contact with no one. Without hesitation he digs in and pulls out a small plastic circular container. He opens the container and takes out the piece of paper with his Lethal Rumble number inside. The former World Champion cracks a smile and looks up to the camera. TONY Looks like I'm halfway to AngleMania and regaining the title that was robbed from me. *smooch* Now, the Sooner Bruisers. "OWWWWWWWWWW!" "The Pyscho Gremlin" Frankie Frankensteiner bursts into the room, HOWLING at the ceiling and running around like a hyperactive child. Seconds later a shirtless and well-oiled up "Man of Tomorrow" Frank Frankensteiner enters the room. FRANKIE Just like ladies', baby brother's first. Frankie reaches in and pulls out a container. Frank follows suit. They check their numbers at the same time. Frank takes a peak at his brother's drawing and does a double-take, losing his sunglasses. FRANKIE How'cha do, Frank? FRANK Not bad, little bro. Not bad. You? FRANKIE Heh. We better reserve a hotel for mom and dad. I gotta good feelin' about tonight. Frank "accidently" bumps into his brother, causing Frankie to drop his number. Frank picks the number up and returns it to Frankie with a smile. FRANK Whoops. Sorry about that, bro. We better go reserve that hotel for ma and pops. FRANKIE Yeah. Let's go. OWWWWWWWWW!

AC matches this week: January 26th LI: : #3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. #6 NRG -- Patty MWC: #3 The Love Doctors vs. #6 Team Heyross -- Eski

Also, will there be some sort of guard/OAOAST official in attendence?

The SAG bit had me in stitches. Hilarious joke. Hilarious to me, of course. Is anybody else out there as big a mark for the fist drop as I am? Anyway, enjoyed the opening AC match. Maybe my AC comments last week had an effect on Alf. Deliver or else! Okay, maybe not. Good SJ promo. Found the devil line to be a strong message to his foes. His writing style takes me back to the early days of the OAOAST. Calvin and SJ a team? Hmm... Ooh, we adressed the presence of "invisible camera," with PK kicking the cameraman out. The OAOAST cares about the little things. The team of Daniels and Beam can be to Krista what Los Diablos are to Alix. Like the finisher Team Heyross used. The interview podium is sweeping the nation. Zack Malibu is on the war path. One intense interview, especially towards the end. Pretty good X-Title rematch, the first of which I didn't read (must've been added later). Wild NRG promo from Patty. New valet, huh? Short and sweet. Another Jumbo ass-kicking. PR may have signed his death warrent with his actions this week. Like PK, I agree that the dressing up as opponent gimmick is overplayed. That and GMs/DOAs, moreso that than anything in real world wrestling. PK did a good job coming up with a reason for no ME this week. For all we know The Upstarts had something to do with Rodez' no show. A witty subtitle probably would of bumped the show up a couple of notches. MOTN: I'm not one to put myself over, but I gotta give the MOTN to the Lone Star Gunslingers-CW/Bo match. It certainly was longer than any other match so I think it helps edge it out over the rest. Rodez-Black probably would've been MOTN had it happened. LOTN: "You, however look to be made out of the pooling puddle of piss and semen next to the toilet inside the center stall of a homeless shelter's bathroom." -- Flex

That works. And it'll allow me to concentrate solely on the AP match.

What do you have planned next week? I was thinking maybe we could do a Zack-Simon singles match, with Ned and Leon getting involved at the end and Rodez getting blasted in the ribs by the racket, which would play a part in the finish of the AP match.

Feel pretty good about this match. So good I might go as far as to say it is the best match I've written. Writing "TEH GUNZ~!" felt so cool. KC, feel free to edit anything you'd like. The camera pans around the jammed packed Palace before SWOOPING~! down to the world famous Sofa Central, where the voice of the OAOAST is with a very familar face. If the face doesn't give it away, the loud chant of "JESSE" does. COLE Ladies and gentleman, it is indeed my pleasure to introduce a true broadcasting legend, who will be joining me on commentary from the friendly confines of Sofa Central for our next Anderson Cup opening round match, a man who tells it like it is...Jesse "The Body" Ventura! The eruption from the crowd is soon followed by another round of "JESSE" chants which Ventura acknowledges by pumping his fist in the air. VENTURA Not only do I tell it like it is, Michael Cole, but I just happen to know a little something about tag team wrestling. It ain't no secret The Body's got a soft spot for tag team wrestling that dates back to my days as a member of the East-West Connection along with the late, great Adrian Adonis. And I'm proud to be associated with a company that still vaules the art of tag team wrestling like the OAOAST does. You gotta have special something inside of you to be apart of a team. Dare I say tag team wrestling is even more dangerous than singles competition? I mean, unless your opponent's got a manager ringside, you don't have to worry about somebody stepping in from the apron and cold clocking you from behind. The strategies change and the atomsphere is different in tag team wrestling. I for one love it! COLE You and all the wrestling fans watching live on TSM will love our next match, Jesse. It will be a first round Anderson Cup match from the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference featuring Christian Wright and Bohemoth vs. The Lone Star Gunslingers. VENTURA On paper you gotta give the edge to Wright and Bo. They're more experience and most importantly, they're members of The Upstarts. But matches aren't won on paper, as we've seen with The GPX and Los Diablos de Fuego, your favorite team, Cole. COLE (chuckles) This will mark the first time the Lone Star Gunslingers, the team of "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, have competed in the OAOAST or against Christian Wright and Bohemoth for that matter, despite the ties both teams have to HI-YAH. Do you see that having a factor in tonight's match? VENTURA Definitely. But as you said, neither team has faced the other prior to tonight. So the familiarity factor works against both teams. Look for Wright and Bo to use their experience against the young Texicans, Mulligan and Windels. COLE Before we go up to the ring, let's take a look at what has gone down in the Anderson Cup so far. [color=#FF0000][b]LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE[/b][/color] #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [color=#FF99FF][b]LOS DIABLOS[/b][/color] #4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- [color=#009900][b]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/b][/color] #2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. #7 The South Central Militia -- TK/REJECT #3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. #6 NRG [b][color=#FFCC33]SEMI-[/color]FINALS[/b] February 2nd and 9th [b][color=#FFCC33]CONFERENCE[/color] CHAMPIONSHIPS[/b] February 16th [b]ANDERSON CUP FINALS [color=#993399]ZERO HOUR[/color][/b] February 26th [color=#33CC00][b]MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE[/b][/color] #1 Black T vs. #8 James Blonde & Faqu -- [b]BLACK T[/b] #4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. #5 The Lonestar Gunslingers #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #7 Glory by Anarchy -- [color=#FF0000][b]SOONERS[/b][/color] #3 The Love Doctors vs. #6 Team Heyross VENTURA Outside of Los Diablos, the #8 seed, upsetting last year's Anderson Cup champions The GPX, everything has turned out the way many predicted. That could change if the Lone Star Gunslingers win tonight. Now that I think about, Michael Cole. You know what you and the teams of the Gunslingers and CW and Bo have in common? COLE No. What's that? VENTURA It's a big night for all of you. COLE It is? I know why for both teams, but ME? VENTURA Yeah. You getta commentate with Jesse "The Body" Ventura. There ain't no bigger honor in broadcast journalism than working with The Body, you know. COLE :lol: With that, let's go up to the ring and ring announcer Michael Buffer! * DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a first round ANDERSON CUP match, set for one fall with a 15 minute time limit! The winner advances to meet Black T in the semi-finals of the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. Velvet Revolver's "Slither" hits as the lights in the arena go out in favor of a single white spotlight that raidiates down on Christian Wright at the top of the ramp. Behind him the monster Bohemoth. As the song changes tempo, Christian pulls the hood of his long black robe down as Bo flexes TEH GUNZ~! [b][color=#FF0000]BOOM[/color]! [color=#3366FF]BOOM[/color]! [color=#009900]BOOM[/color]! [color=#FF6600]BOOM[/color]![/b] VENTURA Whoa! COLE An explosive entrance from the #4 seed in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. They look confident, Jess. Hands on hips, Christian Wright marches to the ring with purpose while his partner, the monster Bohemoth, in all his coolness, casually follows behind, psyching himself up and jiggling his pecs because he damn well can, that's why! BUFFER Making their way to the ring, representing The Upstarts...at a total combine weight of 517 pounds, here are the team of CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and BOHEMOTH! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Not a positive reception for the team of Christian Wright and Bohemoth, who comes in tonight as the favorites. But as my broadcast colleague correctly stated, matches aren't won on paper--or by the odds makers in Vegas. VENTURA Absolutely not. You know, CW and Bo need to be careful they don't come in over confident. If they're already thinking about what awaits in the next round -- Black T, the team I predict will win it all -- then they're gonna find themselves on the short end of the stick. "WAAHAAA, WAH, WAH, WAH..." The "Good, the Bad and the Ugly" theme signals the arrive of The Lone Star Gunslingers. Team unity lives through Jock and Baron as they sport white jackets with the state of Texas embriodered on the back, along matching white trunks and boots with burnt orange kneepads, a yellow rose located on on the right buttock. It's clear the Gunslingers are designed to draw in the female demographic, but their swagger to the ring, especially on the part of the more rugged Baron Windels, shows they're more than just pretty faces. BUFFER And their opponents in the opening round of the 2006 Anderson Cup...weighing in tonight at a total combine weight of 507 pounds, hailing from the Lone Star State, Baron Windels and "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan...the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! COLE A nice ovation for the stallions from the Lone Star State, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels. VENTURA Baron Windels? That's gotta be a rib. It's like they took the first names of Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes and put them together. On top of that, Baron's parents obviously were big fans of famed television producer Virgil Runnels' work, because it seems like they sliced his and Windham's last names together. Don't even get me started on Jock Mulligan. The only Jock I liked lived at Southfork. COLE It could've been worse, partner. Jock's first name could've been Blackjack. [b]LIVE! OAOAST [color=#FFCC33]HELD[/color]DOWN~! [color=#3333FF]AUBURN HILLS[/color], [color=#CC0000]MI[/color][/b] COLE We're live across the country and in Canada on TSM. Michael Cole alongside Jesse "The Body" Ventura at Sofa Central. We thank you for making HeldDOWN~! apart of your Thursday night. Bohemoth and "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan set to start things off for their respective teams. * DING DING * The bell sounds and the match begins with a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Bo muscling Jock into the corner, and missing a roundhouse right as he tries landing a cheapshot on the Texas Twister. Living up to his nickname, Jock avoids the blow and rocks the big man with a fury of spinning right hands, followed by an armdrag that sends Bo across the ring. Bohemoth counters Mulligan's attempted dropkick by swatting him in midair like a fly. But just like every good cowboy, Jock gets right back up on the saddle, charging towards Bo, who lowers the shoulder and the boom with a shoulder block. VENTURA Ha-Ha. There's the star QB getting tackled by the all-pro linebacker right there. A smirk on his face and a bounce to his step, Bo returns to his corner as Jock confers with Baron in theirs, no doubt discussing how to attack Bohemoth. Jock keeps a close eye on Bo, who's getting his shoulders massaged from Christian Wright, as Baron whispers into his ear and pats him on the chest. Bo and Jock come out of their respective corners, loosening their arms before locking back up in the center of the ring. Jock quickly grabs a side headlock, which Bo just as quickly gets out of by shoving Jock to the ropes, catching him on the rebound with another punishing shoulder block. Bo slaps his thighs and then flaunts... VENTURA Check this out, Cole. ...TEH GUNZ~!, drawing a wry smile from the Texan. VENTURA If it weren't for Tony Brannigan, Bo would be the winner of the Jesse "The Body" Award every year. Check out the ammo on those guns, Cole. COLE I believe it's GUNZZZZZZZZ~!, Jesse. And it's going to take more than an impressive physique to advance to the next round. VENTURA I can't believe Jock wants to lock up with Bo again. Bo's already killed him two times and he still wants more. COLE It's all about the spirit of competition. And it's all about earning a shot at the World Tag Team Titles at Anglemania V, the largest spectale in all of parody e-fed entertainment. For the thrid time in the match, Jock and Bo lock up, with Bo once again overpowering the Texas Twister. Having trapped Mulligan against the ropes Bo slowly eases up, putting his hands in the air to show referee Billy Silverman he won't try anything funny. He's right. He doesn't try anything funny but downright brutal, sneaking in a forearm shot! Bo fires Jock to the far corner and follows in, hitting nothing but turnbuckle as Jock avoids a corner clothesline. The Texas Twister measures Bo up as the big man stumbles out of the corner in a confused state, again successfully ultilizing an armdrag takeover before knocking Bo off his feet with a dropkick. COLE It could be over early! Jock going for the cover! VENTURA Excellent strategy. You're gonna have to go through 4 teams to win it all, and the faster you're able to win your match, the less punishment you take. ONE... T-- KICKOUT! Not even a two count, as Bo PRESSES Jock over the body of Billy Silverman. Jock pops up to his feet and hits the ropes, but Bo is ready. Or so we think. Bo tips his hand, setting early for a bodydrop, which Jock counters with a sunset flip. Bo struggles to keep his footing, trying to pull himself and Jock to the ropes using brute strength. He doesn't get the chance to make it to the ropes as the other Gunslinger, Baron Windels, steps in and levels Bo with a RUNNING LARIAT! COLE What quick thinking by Windels. He comes in and does what he has to do, then exits immediately after so he won't keep the referee occupied with him. ONE... TWO... NO! Christian Wright steps in and kicks Jock in the face with the flat of the boot. CUE: PIER-SIX BRAWL. Baron Windels returns to the ring and uses his reach advantage to deck The Natural with a hard right hand, then follows it up with a BONIC ELBOW! VENTURA Awww, look at this. I came here to call a wrestling match, Cole. The Gunslingers know they can't wrestle with Christian Wright and Bohemoth, so they're turning the match into a barroom brawl. The Lone Star Gunslingers send the team of Christian Wright and Bohemoth reeling. They corner Wright and Bo in opposite sides of the ring, drilling them with Texas right hands before firing them towards each other. Christian and Bo collide violently in the center of the ring, causing Wright to 360 in the air. Bohemoth, meanwhile, remains mid-ring, jelly-legged as he tries to shake off the cobwebs. Jock and Baron make eye contact, nodding to one another as they lunge at Bo and hammer him with stereo right hands before whipping him to the ropes. COLE Oh, my! That's no unidenified flying object, ladies and gentlemen. That's a 6'7", 284 Bohemoth orbiting the sky! After a back bodydrop, the Lone Star Gunslingers clothesline Bo over the top rope to the floor, then nail Christian Wright with a DOUBLE DROPKICK! COLE The Lone Star Gunslingers looking very impressive in the early going. VENTURA You hit the nail right on the head, Michael Cole. The Gunslingers have looked impressive [i]early[/i]. As the old saying goes, "It ain't over till it's over." Bo wants no part of Christian's help outside as he shoves him out of the way and dives back into the ring. He goes straight for Jock, no selling a kick to the midsection as he grabs Jock by the back of the head and drives a knee into the gut. Enraged, Bo biels Jock to the corner and punishes the Gunslinger with a combination of roundhouse rights and knees to the midsection. He whips Mulligan to the far corner and connects with a corner clothesline. Bo destroys Jock wobbling out of the corner with a STIFF~! LARIAT that he follows up with a succession of elbows across the sternum, then the cover. ONE... TWO-- KICKOUT! Bo picks Jock up by the hair and shoots him to the ropes, MILITARY PRESSING-- Jock counters with a midair dropkick and makes the tag to his partner Baron Windels! Baron scales the turnbuckles and connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! Both men pop back up to their feet, with Windels nailing Bo with another lariat. VENTURA He ain't goin' down easy, Cole. Baron hits the ropes again...and gets kneed in the back by Christian Wright on the apron! Baron lunges forward, grabbing his lower back and eats a STIFF~! LARIAT from Bohemoth! Bo poses over Windels, grunting angerily. He tags Wright in for the first time. The Moral Highground looks down on Baron the way he does everyone else, an arrogant smirk on his face. Like his partner moments ago, Wright stands over Baron, SLAPPING him insultingly across the face as he lectures the Texan on morality before stomping Windels in the sternum. Wright picks Baron off the mat and rams him into the top turnbuckle. He backs Windels in the corner and drives the shoulder into the midsection, asking Baron if he thinks he's "so hot now," a reference to the Lone Star Gunslingers being quite popular with the ladies, as he slaps him. COLE Is there any need for this? VENTURA What? It's trash-talking, Cole. It goes on in every sport. COLE Slapping your opponent goes on in every sport? Come on. Wright wraps his arms around the big Texan and brings him out of the corner with a beautifully executed belly-to-belly suplex. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Not wanting to give his opponent anytime to catch his breath, Wright applies a reverse chinlock right after the two count. A rest hold this ain't, as Baron quickly rises to his feet and fires a series of elbows to CW's kidneys, breaking the hold. Baron hits the ropes, charging right back towards Wright who drops down, letting Windels go over the top, who makes a blind tag. Christian gets up, unbeknownst a tag was made, so when he sees Baron coming back at him full speed ahead he leapfrogs over the Texan. He may have gotten some cooperation from Baron himself, as Windels went down low to keep his 6'7" frame from hitting Wright in the groin. But it's all part of the Lone Star Gunslingers plan. Baron avoids a clothesline on the rebound and along with Jock nail Wright with STEREO DROPKICKS! COLE Tag team wrestling at its very best. Great double-team maneuver from the Lone Star Gunslingers. Jock with the cover! ONE... TWO... TH--SHOULDER UP! The Gunslingers with a quick tag. They shoot Wright off to the ropes and deck him with a double reverse back elbow. Baron scoopes Christian up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, then perches himself on the middle turnbuckle for a superplex. But Bohemoth steps in, clobbering Baron with a shot to the back and then scooping him up from behind for a back suplex thats impact echos throughout the Palace of Auburn Hills. As the referee escorts Bo back to his corner, Christian scales to the top, poised to hit the HOLY GRAIL....until Jock rushes over from the apron and SHOVES Wright off! He sprints back to his corner, slapping the top turnbuckle to let his partner know where to come to, along with getting the fans involved. VENTURA That's cheap, Cole -- pushing a man off the top rope like that. That dumb Jock couldn't face Christian Wright like a man, so he blindsided him. COLE What about Bohemoth? VENTURA What about Bo? COLE He hit Baron from behind. VENTURA That's different. He dropped Windels in the ring; he didn't throw him from the turnbuckle to the floor outside. What Jock did could've caused Wright to break his neck or cripple himself. Baron gets to his feet, a bit groggy but enough left in the tank to make the t-- No, Christian grabs his leg, but Baron yanks it away and somersaults to his corner and tags Jock. The Texas Twister drills Wright with a discus punch, as well as Bo on the apron. As Jock nears Christian, Wright grabs the top of his trunks and flings him outside. Jock dusts himself off and climbs up the turnbuckles. FLYING LARIAT! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Amped up by the crowd reaction Jock is unable to remain composed, letting his adreanline lead him. He hits the ropes and gets hit with a clubbering shot to the back of the head by Bohemoth. What occurs next is a 1-2 punch that may be too much to overcome, as Christian Wright drills Jock with a... VENTURA WHAM! ...SUPERKICK square to the jaw! ONE... Baron sticks a foot into the ring. TWO... Baron's body is now halfway through the ropes. Can he break up the pin in time? THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOO! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE I can't believe Jock kicked out! VENTURA Neither can I. Wright connected flush with the superkick, but somehow the Texican managed to kickout. What incredible action, Michael Cole. Wright brings Jock up to his feet and sends him face-first into the knee of Bohemoth, then tags out. Bo scoopes Jock up and plants him into the canvas with a RUNNING POWERSLAM. VENTURA Big running power bodyslam by Bo. That knocked the air out of Jock for sure. There's the cover. ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Bo sits Jock up and applies...the NERVE PINCH! Jock kicks the canvas with his heels, pumping his fists to continue the blood flow. His fellow Texan shouting words of encouragement from the apron, rallying the fans behind the Texas Twister. Jock struggles to retain consciousness as his eyes becoming heavy, the nerve pinch beginning to cut the flow of oxygen to the body. The fans stomp their feet and clap their hands to help Jock stay up but it's not enough. Billy Silverman lifts Jock's right arm up and drops it. ONE... Silverman checks the arm again. And again it drops. TWO... VENTURA This is it, Cole. If the arm goes down a third time the match is over. COLE Will the third time be the charm? Arm goes up, arm goes down. NO! Jock musters a last second power surge, keeping the arm up. The roar of the crowd and his adreanline send Jock into overdrive. He rises up to his feet and drills Bo in the midsection with a pair of elbows and hits the ropes. Flying lariat...countered into a FRONT SPINEBUSTER! COLE Oh, my! That may have done it right there, Jesse. Every time Jock has shown signs of life, the team of Christian Wright and Bohemoth have managed to cut him off at the legs. VENTURA Bo caught Jock in midair and planted him into the mat with the spinebuster. Excellent counter. ONE... TWO... THR-- Baron comes in and makes the save, stomping Bo in the head to break up the pin. Billy Silverman escorts Baron back to his corner as Bo presses Jock overhead, Christian Wright slapping Bo on the chest to tag himself in. Bo drops Jock down onto the knee of Christian, who hoists Mulligan over his shoulder blades in a fireman's carry position and flips over with him. HONOR ROLL! ONE... TWO... THR-- Baron once again breaks up the pin, pulling Christian off Jock. Wright doesn't care much for Baron's actions, but he stays focus on the task at hand, going behind Jock and taking him up in the air for a high angle back suplex known to many fans as the SAITO SUPLEX! CW pops up and taunts the crowd, then cheapshots Baron off the apron and quickly goes for the pin. ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! VENTURA Brilliant move on the part of Christian. He didn't get the pin, but Baron had broken up his team's last couple of pin attempts, so he took him out of the picture. That's why he's the Moral Highground. COLE Cheapshotting another person doesn't sound too moral to me. VENTURA According to 50% of the American people, you ain't got no morals, Cole. You and Los Diablos de Fuego are left on your own island. Wright and Bo make an exchange. Bo scoopes Jock up and drives him hard into the corner, ramming his shoulder into the midsection of Mulligan. He picks Jock up and rams him into he and Christian's corner, and tags the Natural back in. Wright places Jock in a front facelock as he leaps onto the second turnbuckle and takes the Texas Twister over with a TORNADO DDT! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! A hint of frustration begins to show on the face of Christian Wright, who brings Jock back to a vertical base so he can flip him over with a dragon screw legwhip. Wright then drags Jock by the leg towards the edge of the ring, where he places that very leg on the bottom rope and crashes all his weight down on it with a sit-down cannonball ala Ric Flair. Jock holds onto his leg in agony, gritting his teeth. Wright grabs the leg tugs on it before slapping on the FIGURE-FOUR LEG-- NO! Jock uses his free leg to shove Wright forward, sending the Natural running to the ropes and over on the rebound with a one-legged monkey flip. Both men rush to their feet, with Christian being the fastest as he's the fresher man. Wright nails Jock with a series of knees to the midsection, then looks to hit a Uranage Suplex, but Jock counters with hard elbows to the side of the head. Christian takes a wild swing at Jock's head, but Jock grabs the arm and counters with a FLOATOVER DD... BACKSLIDE!? ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Wright rolls through and sends Mulligan straight back with a running STO! COLE That HAD to do it. ONE... TWO... THR-- NO, KICKOUT! "YEEEEAAAAHHHHH" The frustration on the part of Christian grows with each passing second. Wright looks to the big gun, Bohemoth, his own personal clean-up hitter to come in and drive the match home. Bo happily accepts the tag and circles his fallen opponent like a vulture stalking its prey. Bo scoopes Jock up, waistlocking the Texas Twister and ramming him into the 3 corners not occupied by Baron Windels, before settling in the center of the ring where he tries earning a submission by squeezing the life out of his opponent with a BEARHUG! VENTURA Oh, and what a painful hold this is. When I die I want it to be quick and painless, everything the bearhug isn't. I've seen guys pass out many-a times from having the air squeezed out of them. *clap*clap**clap*clap**clap* Baron and the crowd get behind Jock, still very much aware of his surrounds. Jock tries penetrating Bo's death grip by slipping his hand between the arms of Bo, but they're too massive to get through. A headbutt stuns Jock more than it does his monster opponent. Facing defeat right in the face Jock has no choice but to make a last ditch effort to escape, cocking his right hand and placing Bo in the IRON CLAW! COLE THE IRON CLAW! THE IRON CLAW! THE IRON CLAW! A hold made legendary by the famous Von Erich family. Bo steps back, widening his stance as he tries muscling his way out of the Claw hold. Jock keeps tinkering with his grip of the hold, in part due to fatigue and the sweat running down Bo's face. Bo gets a shot of adreanline and swipes Jock's arm away, then destroys him with a YAKUZA KICK! After shaking away the cobwebs Bo glances over to Christian Wright in the corner. THUMBS UP? No. THUMBS DOWN~! A cocky smirk etched on the face of Bo, he scoopes Jock up in a fallaway slam position then swings him around. EROTIC AWAKENING OF B... ...COUNTERED INTO A DDT! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA That's the first time [i]I've[/i] seen that move countered, Cole. COLE What an unbelieveable counter to the Erotic Awakening Of B. The crowd is on their feet, cheering Jock on. Can he make the tag? Both he and Bo are down. Who will be the first to make the tag? VENTURA Both of their partners are ready to come in. If you didn't know before how much these teams wanted to win the 2006 Anderson Cup, you do now. They both want that shot at the World Tag Team Titles at AngleMania V. Jock claws his way to his corner inch by dramatic inch, while Bo remains floored following the DDT. He starts to stir just as Jock nears his corner, Baron awaiting with his arm outstretched as far as it can without letting go of the tag rope. Jock reaches out and...MAKES THE TAG! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" And here comes Baron, a house afire. Coming off the top rope and leveling Bo with a flying lariat. He decks Christian Wright with a hard right. Windels knocks Bo back off his feet with a dropkick. Wright tries sneaking up behind Baron, only to get nailed in the gut with a back-kick followed by an inverted atomic drop and bionic elbow. What Christian failed at, Bo doesn't. He hammers Windels in the back of the neck with a forearm smash. Baron backed into the corner and worked over with knees into the midsection. Bo whips Windels to the far corner, following in and eating a BIG BOOT to the face. Baron pulls himself onto the middle turnbuckle as Wright charges towards him, connecting with a diving shoulder block that sends CW rolling out of the ring. Bo is placed in a front facelock, and as Baron leaves his feet for a leaping DDT, Bo SLAMS him straight down to the mat! Bo then lifts Baron up for what appears to be a vertical suplex, then drops him sideways with the Falcon Arrow he calls the "BO & ARROW"! VENTURA And that'll do it. All Bo has to do is cover the big Texican. But he isn't! COLE Oh, no! Bo deciding to go for it all right here. Powerbomb coming up. Really? Nope. As Bo sets to lift Baron up in the air, Jock leaps off the top rope with his right palm coming down over the head of Bo. IRON CLAW! VENTURA He's got Bo in the Claw hold again. But he ain't the legal man. The referee oughta do his job and get that big dumb Jock out of the ring. Don't he know the rules?! Christian Wright sneaks back into the ring, creeping up behind Jock and nailing...BO WITH THE SUPERKICK! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA Whoa! He hit Bo. Christian Wright accidently nailed his own partner with the superkick! COLE Jock felt Wright sneaking up on him and moved out of the way. But that big Bohemoth didn't go down, Jesse. He's still on his feet! VENTURA Just barely. Christian can't believe what happened, his hands over his head. Jock turns Wright around and hammers him with the discus punch as Baron catches a groggy Bohemoth with a RUNNING BULLDOG! ONE... TWO... THREE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" * DING DING DING DING * COLE They did it! VENTURA Major upset, Cole! Baron pops up and holds his arms up in victory. Jock leaps into his arms and the two share a celebratory huge in the center of the ring as "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" theme plays in the background. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners and advancing to the semifinals of the 2006 Anderson Cup...THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERRRRRRSSSSSSSS! COLE What a thriller at the Palace, Jesse. VENTURA There haven't been that many here since the Pistons are crushing everybody. COLE (CONT'D) Jock and Baron have advanced by beating Christian Wright and Bohemoth. Let's take a look back at some of the action that took place in this match with our replay sponsered by NRG supplements and power drinks. * REPLAY * VENTURA (Voice-Over) As you can see, CW and Bo had the match won until that Jock Mulligan, the ILLEGAL man, came off the top with the Claw hold onto Bohemoth. Christian tries to help his partner, but that backfires as Jock hears the footsteps fastly approaching and lets Bo take the superkick met for him. He then takes care of Wright as Baron comes back to nail Bo with the bulldog for the 1-2-3. Not a good night for The Upstarts. The Lone Star Gunslingers advance to meet #1 seed in the MWC Conference Black T. * END REPLAY * We cut to Cole and Ventura at Sofa Central. Jesse wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead with Michael Cole's tie. COLE Gee, thanks. VENTURA No problem. COLE I should also thank you for coming out here... VENTURA ...And making you look good? COLE (chuckles) It's truly been an honor. VENTURA It should be. I ain't The Coach or Caboose. This is Jesse "The Body" Ventura. And as always, it's been YOUR pleasure. COLE Fans, we still have more to come. Stay with us.

HOLY SHIT! Zack left feedback. Everybody should petition congress to designate January 13th as a national holiday. It's that monumental. I like the way PR wrote his segment with Cole interviewing him on the AngleTron from, presumably, Sofa Central. Unique take. He may be the best when it comes to getting his story points across in commentary. If you just joined and didn't know what the hell was going on between his characters you could get a pretty good idea just by reading his pre-match/pre-recap commentary. Speaking of recaps, something PR does a great deal of, I would suggest using quote tags or text indicating the start and finish of recaps to make things easier to read. Otherwise you can get lost very easily if you turn away for one second. Interesting to see problems arising between the trio of TK, Reject and Alf. 6-Man tags can be tough to write, but Alf does a heck of a job. The Pearl Harbor line is textbook Gorilla Monsoon. MOTN: Black T vs. James Blonde & Faqu. LOTN: "I'd say Ned sucked me dry, but that would imply that he actually managed to get me wet in the first place." -- Krista Isadora Duncan