Tony149

6-Person Tag Match: The Saints and Jim Cornette vs. New New Midnight Express and Holly-Wood Anderson Cup Finals: Black T vs. GPX

Is this still happening?

Which one? There were two, with the one involving the teams getting involved which I was referring to.

Just the Los Infernales Conferenece Finals in the Anderson Cup. GPX vs. The Saints, which Patty wrote. Eski's set to write BT-Hell's Hitmen in the MWC Conference Finals. We could push either match (yours or Patty's) back till next week. And let me know what you think about the idea I PM'd you last night. All I need OK'd is the stuff involving the other teams because Patty liked it and it works with the strengh of the tag division.

You know, I didn't even notice Zack is no longer a TSM Mod. That makes 2 OAOAST Mods who were TSM Mods. I bet it's because he doesn't have the time to Mod the board with his schedule, kinda like me, except I was always here, just rarely posted outside OAOAST. The opening was one of the weirdest things I've read, but found it quite hilarious. I mean, "banana shaped 'impliments'"? Only in the OAOAST. I forgot to mention this in the Anglepalooza thread, but let me say that I think Drek Stone would have one of the coolest entrances in wrestling if he were real. It doesn't look like much, but with his character and that theme blaring in the arena, I know it'd probably send chills down my back. Awesome opening segment. Our World Champion puts Triple H and J.B.L. to shame. He doesn't hog the show, but when he appears, it usually means something is going down. I also like how next week's main event was announcement after the action in the ring. It wasn't done too soon, nor too late, just right. The randomness of J.R. and Tazz talking out of nowhere reminds me of Family Guy, where things that make absolutely make no sense occur but its randomness is what makes it funny. Same thing there. Patty already mentioned it, but the little shocked face used was priceless. Reading the segment, then seeing that for the first time in its original form had me rolling on the floor. Not literally, but you know. I read C.O.D.s promo a couple days ago and couldn't stop laughing. Combine with what they did later in the show, I think we did a good job putting them over HUGE. For go from one Patty segment to another. Damn, some of the oddball stuff -- weird chants, Sadist pinching his nipple and moaning -- written into the match is down right hilarious. Very good use of the font for Hell's Hitmen entrance. Whenever I write another HH match, I'm gonna ripoff what you wrote, saving me the trouble of writing what they're doing as they head to the ring. You don't know how funny, to me at least, it is seeing "Oh, baby" written in big, bold red lettering. Well, at least the GM segment was well written. I already told Eskimo what I thought about the Black T promo he wrote, but I'll repeat it for you all -- it was grrrreat! Excellent Tha Puerto Rican promo. I know he didn't write it, but it'll be good to see TPR return because he always brings content. Considering I spent a majority of my time working on C.O.D.-BT, I thought the GPX-Love Doctors match came off really well. I wasn't happy with the way the match was originally written, then I didn't like the second version, so I rewrote the entire thing a few days ago. Like revision is a common thing, it's something I've rarely done until the last week. And I'd like to believe it's paying off. Good segment involving '70s Dude and Calvin, as was the JAE segment. Nice return for TPR, with the chaotic aftermath. Again, an announcing cameo, this time Vince McMahon. I like it. It's becoming a running gag. One I think most find funny. Very interesting backstage segment with Zack, Crystal and Axel. It could lead to a number of possibilites down the road. Now that I've read what Eskimo referred to in his post, I agree with everything he said. I did find Warren Peace looking like Gorilla Monsoon funny, though. MALE BONDING~! Axel and Hoff. Caboose's "family channel" comment was cute. Ewww, a man said "cute". Having never heard "Getting Away with Murder" and wondering how it sounded, I really enjoyed it and Zack's Angletron video. Nice little match that followed as well, continuing the what-the-hell-is-going-on deal between Axel and Crystal. Another strong promo from Calvin, and good response by '70s Dude afterwards. I liked the disco ball being used as a weapon. I believe the main event tag match is the best match I've ever written. My matches are normally short but I really made an effort to make it seem epic. Everything just clicked and I'm really proud of it...even if Black T lost.

Yeah, I remember those. I'd like to see 'em come back with a graphic with whoever is running down the card in front of the logo, like old school WWF/WCW control/event centers. Hoff, don't go a-lookin' for me if you don't ME because it's Popick's show.

I couldn't agree more. For the longest time I've been dying to ask Papacita if he could make a OAOAST Control Center for the PPVs. My idea was to do this on the last HD before the PPV with J.R. standing in front a superimposed logo with the date of the event underneath it. I never got around to asking because I didn't have the time to write a rundown of the cards. Maybe we could still do it. Instead of J.R., we'd use Savage. Everybody knows Randy Savage has a unique voice, but reading it takes it to a whole other level. And yes, that means I thought your after show segment was excellent. Hoff vs. Drek at Zero Hour? I guess the question is -- which match prevents Stone from ME'ing yet again?

On the recommendation of Zack, I tuned into the show 3 weeks ago and I'm still watching, so I guess I like it. I'm a little confused as to what's going on because I had never seen the show before, all I know is the father of the mother doesn't like the guy his daughter is dating, who I think dated Mischa Barton's character, who's involved in a lesbain storyline, and the guys are doing a comic. Because I hardly bother watching Smackdown nowadays, and Thursday isn't a big viewing night for me, I'll keeping watching. The last time Zack recommended something to me, or I should say mentioned something to me (WCCW, which made me pick up the Best of the Von Erichs DVD), I ended up liking it, so maybe lightning will strike twice. You agreed to write the HH-FS match a few weeks ago. I remember you saying you looked forward to writing the Frankies. If they ever worked together, I think Cole would benefit because Ventura would be all over him for everything Coleism Michael Cole does. If you can't work with Ventura, you know you suck. Monsoon could. McMahon could. Schiavone could. J.R could, even if he was irked by hizzoner. At the very least, a Ventura/Cole combo would provide some very funny moments. I haven't read the show yet, so I'm not sure what this new GM deal is all about, but when Watts is supposed to be a throwback to when Commissioners just made announcements and whatnot, not physically involved. Over the years he's become what Teddy Long, Eric Bischoff, and all other GM/Commissioners are today.

Aftermath from The Saints-NNMX match from AP. Anderson Cup opening round continues with two more matches: Black T vs. NNMX; The Saints-Fanboiz

Better late than never... T.O.E.-C.O.D.: Great way to kick off the show. Patty and Zack did a helluva job writing it. I was disappointed to see the belts leave the waists of T.O.E., but C.O.D. have shown they can hold their load in and out of the ring. I liked how Zack let Dan wrestle a bulk of the match in order to keep himself fresh for his other bouts. J.R. licking the beer off his nipples was funny as well. 24/7: I liked the double pin idea, it's been awhile since the 24/7 title has had some sort of twist, so to speak. The Saints-NNMX was better than I expected. I was dividing my time between that and COD-BT for HD, and that took more of my attention as TS-NNMX was almost completed and I wasn't too thrilled with the original version of COD-BT. Hoff-Stevens: Reading matches written by Hoff, Papacita, NY and Zack is kinda like a guy taking a piss in a public rest room who can't help but to look at what he's stacked up against by looking over the guy next to him and noticing the guy has a bigger penis than him. Yeah, it's like that. Loved the Tazz cameo. If only he had of managed to get off a "rocket buster" remark. I like how Caboose, the former two-time OAOAST Champion, was used to point out the keys to victory for each side. NY has talked about how the little things, such as that and the ref checking for for -- er, international objects (damn you Turner S&P!), can go a long way in putting whatever over. I mean, we probably do more little things for our shows than WWE does with theirs. I was really never a huge fan of the WWF-style steel bar cage, even though it sure as hell looks like being rammed into that bad boy would hurt, but considering some of the moves excuted using the cage (the Jumbo and Future Shock bumps were great), it made sense. It was interesting seeing Flair, Vader and Sting grouped into those who have competed in the bar cage, I assume that comes from the Thunderdome cage the NWA/WCW broke out between 1989-1994. Onto the match. Like NY said, it was a breeze to read through, and fun. Stevens working over the knee brings me back to the days one of my favorite wrestlers, "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, would take a single part of the body and work it over. Whether it was intentional or not, I got a kick out of the ref calling for a break in a match that is no DQ. It may have been a no DQ or cage match, I can't remember, that saw the ref keep asking for breaks and making 5 counts to the point where the announcers had to say he was doing it out of instinct. I'm pretty sure J.R. was doing the play-by-play, but I can't remember if it was a WCW or WWF match. Candie-Holly: To be honest, I thought the return of the Women's title would bomb, but Patty has done a helluva job making that division, as small as it may be, interesting. Then again, P.O.G. gave new life to The Saints, Fanboiz, so it shouldn't be a surprise. World title: Awesome match. The Drek Stone character is great. I liked how A.J. managed to hang in until the very end, putting him over while showing how far the champion, or any champion in general, will go to ensure the title stays around their waist. Very clever use of the mini-mics so the action wouldn't have to de disrupted by a guy having to grab a microphone. The Rumble was great. From appearances by Alfdogg, J. Arthur and PR, T.O.E. working to eliminate GPX and being apart of the last 5 left in the rumble, my character lasting until the final 4 (which I'd like to think is my reward for not winning many singles matches during my runs in 2002 and 2003), it was action packed. Axel kicking ass when he first arrived, and Zack throwing out Dan was great (it truly is every man for himself). One thing that caught me by surprise was GPX using a double-team maneuver called Designated Driver. All these months having written for their characters, and I knew knew that had such a move. Maybe it was made up for this event, I don't know. All the backstage segments were very well done as well. I would give further details, but having written 3 matches for HD in a short amount of time, I'm exhausted.

Now that I think about it, I botched the storyline. It was supposed to be done another way but I forgot about it and had them join J.C.E. instead so they could feud with the NNMX. BTW, Papacita has been added to the writing credits.

Add me to the list of people who enjoyed Anglepalooza. I've only managed to skim the matches as I've been busy writing the BT-COD rematch for HeldDOWN, but I really liked what I read. Like the others have said, the Rumble was great, the decision to drop it down to 15 really helped, and it showed. I think it was Cappa who suggested we have the guys do a little promo before the Rumble match, and while it wasn't everybody, I thought the promos from Cappa, Black T and GPX worked well. For what it's worth, the show was posted around 8:30, but then the board went down. Also, the Phenom-Geddon match will be edited in later on. Rando was busy and regrets not be able to have the match done, but it will be added, so be on the look out for that.

A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production WRITTEN BY Nice Guy Adam Hoff NY Untouchable Patty O'Green Zack Malibu Tony149 King Cucaracha #1MST3K Mark The Mad Cappa Papacita GRAPHICS Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Tony149 CWM Anglesault EXECUTIVES IN CHARGE OF PPV PRODUCTION Tony149 Stephen Joseph EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Zack Malibu Mystery Eskimo Patty O'Green Hoff NY Untouchable Chuck Woolery Canadian Chick DIRECTED BY Tony149 © 2004 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! TONIGHT... New New Midnight Express vs. The Saints 24/7 TITLE MATCH The Phenom vs. Devin Geddon © WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH Candie vs. Holly-Wood © FATAL 4-WAY X-TITLE MATCH Chris Bryte vs. Panther vs. Zack Malibu vs. Leon Rodez © STEEL CAGE MATCH Chris Stevens vs. Hoff OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Chicks Over Dicks vs. The Original Elite © OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH A.J. Flaire vs. Drek Stone © LETHAL RUMBLE 15 wrestlers compete in an over the top rope battle royal to determine who will face the OAOAST Champion at ANGLEMANIA IV THE ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA BEGINS TONIGHT!

COLE Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, we're LIVE at OAOAST Anglepalooza 2005! We just witnessed a hell of a battle guys, with Drek Stone retaining the OAOAST Championship over the returning AJ Flaire. COACH Certainly Cole, AJ tried his heart out, but Drek showed us his game plan start to finish, working on that back, and making AJ Flaire say the magic words right at the very end. AJ sure had the Champion rattled in that match though, almost making Drek Stone give up on numerous occasions! CABOOSE Ah rat shit Coach; Drek was in total control the whole time, just like he’s going to be in total control of the winner of this next match at AngleMania four! COLE Yes that’s right, we are about to go to our Main Event of this evening, the Anglepalooza Rumble match! Fifteen OAOAST superstars are getting ready right now to go to that ring, and the last superstar remaining will meet the OAOAST Champion at AngleMania four in March! CABOOSE What do you mean “The OAOAST Champion”? Michael Cole, you and I both know that Drek Stone is going to AngleMania the Champion, and walking out soon after with the belt firmly around his waist! COACH Well that may be the case Caboose, but who knows what could happen in the next two months! This match is one of unpredictability, as the winner could be anyone, from Stephen Popick to Zack Malibu to The Mad Cappa! COLE Well guys, I want each one of your picks to go all the way in this one, because I just can’t pick. There are so many guys in that ring that could win this match, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, either member of Black T, Axel, Panther, or The Mad Cappa. It’s so hard to pick this match. Coach, who’s your pick? COACH Well you said there are a number of guys that could win this match, but I’m not picking a guy, I’m picking my baby girl, Crystal! She’s going to win this match, and keep on winning! CABOOSE Oh don’t give me that crap Coach, put it away! There is only one real choice, and that is the two time OAOAST Champion, one Mister Zackary Malibu. You can’t go past the Franchise, he runs this damn company! COLE One thing that could work against Zack is the fact that he’s already been in the ring tonight, which could pose as a problem for a number of OAOAST Superstars. In any event, we are now being asked to go to the backstage area, where Josh Matthews is standing by with none other than Coach’s pick for the Rumble, The Female Phenom, Crystal! *Cut to J-Math standing beside Crystal, with the AP logo in the background* J-MATH Crystal, tonight you attempt to be the first woman to win the Anglepalooza Rumble match. How do you hope to accomplish this? Josh brings the microphone to Crystal’s lips and she looks at Josh and smiles, before answering him. CRYSTAL How? Come on Josh, I’ve already been the OAOAST Champion, and I’ve defeated a lot of the competitors in the match already in my career, so I’m going to do what I always do, go out there, fight for my life, and come out on top. ZACK Yeah, I hear you like it like that… Crystal’s smile turns into a look of disgust as the camera pans around to reveal the Franchise of the OAOAST, Zack Malibu, standing, smirking. He crowd immediately boos the former two time Champion to hell, and he reacts by smirking even wider, and continuing with the insult. ZACK How you been, Crys? I haven’t seen you in a while, probably not since you took away the most important thing in my life! Well it all changes tonight girl, because I’m winning the Rumble, and taking back what’s rightfully mine. And don’t you worry Crystal; I’ll be going through you to do it. I’ll knock your head right off of your shoulders sweetheart. A big “OOOOOOH” comes over the crowd, as Zack keeps on smiling, and Crystal looks like he’s about to kill the Pissed Off Prep. But suddenly, Zack’s expression turns to one of shock, as his eyes grow wide! VOICE You wanna say that again, big man? The camera pans around to see AXEL~! Standing behind Crystal, a hand on her shoulder, staring a hole in Zack. He moves Crystal out of his path, and goes face to face with his hated rival. Zack pipes up quickly, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice. ZACK Oh, so you’re the bodyguard now? You’re the protector? The big man? Huh? Don’t forget Axel, I beat your ass across this country once, don’t thin I won’t do it again! AXEL You’d better take the bass out of your voice when you talk to me, little man. Sure, you’ve beaten me once, maybe twice, but not anymore Zack. You wanna pick on Crystal; provoke her into fighting you now? I’ll tell you what, I know she can take care of herself, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let her put herself in harms way. You wanna provoke someone? Provoke me tough guy, provoke me. Zack backs off, until he feels a hand on each shoulder, with Black T flanking the Franchise. He smiles again, and continues taunting Axel and Crystal. ZACK Well, I must get ready for my winning effort; I’ll leave the power couple to ponder when their credibility when down the toilet! Axel scowls at The Original Elite as they walk away, COLE It’s every man for himself in the Rumble guys! Let’s take it down to Michael Buffer to make the opening announcements. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is the ANGLEPALOOZA RUMBLE MATCH! Here are the rules, in a moment; the superstars who drew numbers one and two will enter the ring. Then every two minutes thereafter, another superstar will enter the match. The match continues until all fifteen superstars have entered the ring, and until there is one last superstar remaining. The only way that a Superstar can be eliminated is by being thrown over the top rope, with both feet touching the floor. The last superstar remaining in the ring will be declared the winner, and will go on to face the OAOAST Champion at ANGLEMANIA FOUR! COLE My god, did they want to steal that away from Howard Finkel any more? CABOOSE Shut up and let’s hope they didn’t notice. BUFFER And now, the individual who drew number one… “Aww Naw” hits, and Stephen Joseph Popick makes his way out to ringside to a chorus of boos from the sold out crowd. He slides into the ring, and awaits number two. COACH Popick was made number one a number of weeks ago, but can he go all the way tonight and be the OAOAST Champion? COLE We are off! Panther and Joseph circle each other, taking it all in. A spontaneous "PAN-THER" chant breaks out, and the hugely popular superstar looks to his left and flashes a big smile, popping the crowd somethin' fierce. COACH FIERCE~! COLE Panther is and has seemingly always been one of the most popular guys on the roster... CABOOSE That's not really relevant, is it? Panther turns his focus back to Joseph, who rolls out his neck. Panther steps toward Joseph, and Stephen skirts away, keeping his distance. Panther reverses course, circling toward Joseph the other way. Finally, the two men come together, and the fans cheer! Panther and Joseph lock up, but neither man gains the advantage, and eventually they break, taking a step back. Panther rolls out his shoulders, and the two men circle again briefly before locking up once more. For a moment, Panther is able to get the adavntage, but SJ breaks out of the lockup, and steps back. COLE These two are feeling each other out before they get into it. CABOOSE Well, there's no need to waste energy early on in this type of match. COLE Absolutely right, Caboose. Endurance is key in the Rumble environment. Panther steps toward Joseph, closing the gap. Joseph feigns back, then steps up and catches Panther in a tie-up, spinning the Champion of Champions back-first into the corner! Joseph unloads a knife-edge chop onto Panther, but it doesn't faze him! Panther's eyes LIGHT UP as he steps out and grabs Joseph, turning the tables and throwing him into the buckle! Panther POPS SJ with a European uppercut to a BIG reaction! Joseph's neck snaps back as he reels from the blow, allowing Panther to grab Joseph's arm and whip him cross-corner! Panther charges, following Joseph in, but Joseph Hops over the back of Panther! Before Panther can react, Joseph forearms him in the back, pushing him chest-first into the corner! COLE Nice athleticism from the always-controversial Stephen Joseph! Joseph grabs Panther by the hair and drags him out of the corner, spinning him around and THROWING him OVER THE TOP-- but Panther LANDS ON THE APRON!! The fans cheer as Panther nails Joseph with another forearm uppercut! Joseph stumbles backwards, allowing Panther to get into the ring! Joseph regains his bearings, but Panther meets him with a HIGH dropkick that sends Joseph to the mat! COACH Close call for Panther! Panther picks Joseph up and drags him to the ropes, scooping him up from behind and trying to dump him, but SJ throws a back elbow that stuns Panther! Panther reels, allowing Joseph to regain his footing and kick Panther in the gut! Panther doubles over, and Joseph takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Joseph sits up as the COUNTDOWN~ starts... COLE Here we go! Who's number three gonna be? Joseph breathes as the count runs down... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZZZZZZZZZZZT* COLE It's....it's ALFDOGG!!!! The fans pop HUGE for the legend as Alfdogg heads to the ring, looking ready for business!! Joseph gets to his feet, waving the former World Champ into the ring! Panther begins to stir as Alfdogg climbs onto the apron! Joseph meets him with a right hand, but Alf shakes it off and CLOBBERS SJ with a right of his own! Joseph reels, allowing ALf time to get into the ring! Alf climbs in, and takes Joseph down with a DOUBLE-LEG TAKEDOWN and starts HAMMERING him with fists! The fans go WILD as Alfdogg rains down blows on Joseph! Meanwhile, Panther gets to his feet and leans in a corner, resting. Joseph tries to scamper away from Alf's onslaught, but Alf grabs his hair and pulls both SJ and himself up, and tries to throw Joseph over the top rope! The fans are cheering as Joseph is teetering, but Panther breaks it up, hammering Alf in the back! COACH Why would he do that, playas? CABOOSE Because he's STUPID. COLE I think Panther just wants to be in control. Joseph falls back into the ring as Panther grabs Alf, running him across the ring and trying to dump HIM, until HE'S hit from behind by Joseph! Panther drops to his knees, and Alf gets up off of the ropes. CABOOSE See where it got ya, Panther? Fool. Alf hammers Joseph, as the countdown appears on the AngleTron... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* COLE It's...It's CAPPA!! CABOOSE The MAD CAPPA! Now HERE'S a man you can repsect. The fans jeer as Cappa saunters down to the ring, jawing with fans down the aisle. Cappa gets into a shouting match with a drunk Southerner, while in the ring, Joseph blocks a right from Alf and stuns him with one of his own. Panther, again, rests in the corner, before spotting Cappa in the corner of his eye. Panther calls out for Cappa to "get his sorry ass in the ring," and Cappa tears himself away from the drunken fan to oblige. COACH Aw yeah, here we go! Cappa slides into the ring, and Panther immediately puts a boot to his back! Cappa gets to his knees slowly, and Panther helps him up the rest of the way before throwing a forearm to his face! Cappa reels, falling into the corner Panther was resting in, and Panther UNLOADS with some vicious chops! The fans "WOOOOO" in appreciation, while on the other side of the ring, Joseph uses the second rope to choke Alf. COLE Joseph wearing down the veteran Alfdogg, not a bad strategy! Alf tries valiantly to break free, but Joseph keeps the pressure on. Meanwhile, Panther drags Cappa out of the corner, and armdrags him to the mat! Panther springs up to a nice pop, as Cappa gets to his knees! Panther flashes a grin, and Cappa POUNDS the mat in frustration, drawing a chant from the fans! "FUCK HIM UP PANTHER, FUCK HIM UP!" *clap*clap* "FUCK HIM UP PANTHER, FUCK HIM UP!" *clap*clap* Panther waves Cappa up to his feet, and Cappa charges at Panther, but Panther quickly sidesteps and sends Cappa face-first into the middle turnbuckle with a drop toe hold! The fans cheer as the COUNTDOWN~ is on again... 5... 4... 3... Alfdogg finally breaks free of the choke! 2... Alf gets up and SPINS around... 1... ...leveling Joseph with a HUGE right hand that sends SJ down... *BZZZZZZZZZZZZT* COACH Who's the next playa? COLE It's...businessmen?! Two men in suits come out and stand at either side of the entryway, looking dignified. CABOOSE Who... COLE Wait, aren't those the Williams & Horn guys from a couple weeks ago? COACH You don't think... The crowd pops HUGE as none other than J. ARTHUR EDWARDS steps out from the curtain!! COLE NO WAY!! COACH It's J. Arthur Edwards!! The "welcome back" pop is immediately replaced by jeers as Edwards sneers at the fans, walking down to ringside with the suits in tow! COLE I can't believe this! J. Arthur Edwards is back! CABOOSE Amazing! The two suits stop at the end of the ramp, looking on as J. Arthur slides into the ring. After sparing a glance for Panther, who's working Cappa over in the corner, J. Arthur heads over to Alfdogg. The suits turn around, walking back, their job apparently done for the night. COLE I still can't believe this! J. Arthur walks over to Alfdogg, staring him down for a brief moment...before turning and FLOORING Joseph with a HUGE right hand! The fans go WILD as J. Arthur waves Joseph up, and hits him AGAIN as SJ rises! Joseph ffalls again, and tries to get back up, but slips, dizzy. Alfdogg pulls him back up, and whips him into the ropes! Joseph comes off, right into a DOUBLE BACK ELBOW from Alf and J. Arthur! The fans cheer like mad as Alf and J go to town! CABOOSE WHAT IS THIS?! WHY?!? COACH Dunno, but these fans are FEELIN it, playa! Alf and J. Arthur stomp away at Joseph, while Cappa fights out of the corner. Cappa dazes Panther with a right hand, and another, and another! Panther reels, and Cappa levels a kick to the ribs! Panther doubles over... COLE BUST A CAP! Cappa grabs Panther, but Panther pushes Cappa away! Cappa hits the turnbuckle chest-first and bounces back, and Panther grabs a sleeperhold! Cappa tries to fight it, but Panther DROPS him in a sleeper drop to a big pop! Panther hops up to his feet, pumping his fist and drawing another cheer! The countdown is on again as Cappa rolls onto his knees... 5... Cappa slowly gets up... 4... Cappa gets to his full height... 3... Cappa gets NAILED with a European uppercut that sends him right back into the corner! Meanwhile, Joseph rakes Alfdogg across the eyes... 2... J. Arthur makes a grab for Joseph, but SJ back elbows him in the jaw... 1... J. Arthur his his knees, aloowing Joseph time to get away to a meutral corner... *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* COACH Number six! COLE It's....SCOTTY STATIC!! A MASSIVE pop for one half of the GPX, as Static comes barreling down the ramp and flies into the ring! Without pausing, Static charges at Edwards, tackling him and laying in some right hands! COACH Yikes, Scotty Static is on FIRE! CABOOSE What did J. Arthur do?! COLE I have no idea!! Static unloads on J. Arthur Edwards as Joseph grabs Alf and tries to drive him over the top rope! Meanwhile, Panther grabs Cappa's leg and tries to force HIM over the ropes! COLE We've got some guys who might be on their way out!! Cappa teeters a bit, but quickly drives his elbow into Panther's skull!! Panther lets him go, and Cappa falls onto his feet in the ring! Cappa takes advantage by grabbing Panther's tights -- COACH OMG HEEL~! -- and trying to force HIM over! Panther tangles himself up in the ropes, as meanwhile; Static has pulled J. Arthur up! Static whips J. Arthur into the ropes, and catches him with a high spinning wheel kick that sends J. Arthur back down! Static kips up, as in the far corner, Alf's torso starts slipping over the ropes!! COACH Oh, oh, here we go!! Joseph churns his feet, trying desparately to get Alf over, but Alf, thinking quickly, kicks Joseph in the head! Joseph tumbles away, reeling...aloowing Static to push HIM into the ropes!! Joseph goes halfway over before hooking the top strand with his leg. CABOOSE NICE move by Joseph. Alf shifts his weight and lands back inside the ring, halfway collapsing in the corner and catching his breath. J. Arthur does the same in the next corner. Meanwhile, over in corner three, Panther plants a MULE KICK to Cappa's little caps! The fans go NUT as Cappa collapses, holding his junk! Scotty Static meanwhile has J. Arthur Edwards teetering on the top rope, as we go to a COUNTDOWN~! 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* Watch them flee… Watch them flee… Wa…Wa…Watch them flee [hip hop hits] *SCRATCH**SCRATCH!* And you do it like this! “It’s Goin Down” begins to blare over the speaker system, and Panther stops in his tracks for a second, looking at the entrance ramp, then suddenly… “No Chance… No Chance… No Chance is what ya got!” To the shock of Panther, ‘No Chance’ hits! COLE What? Tha’ Puerto Rican runs down from the ramp to the ring, a huge smile on his face! COLE What the hell is he doing here? CABOOSE Yes! I’ve got a new pick! PRL slides into the ring, and Panther goes straight after him, peppering the former North American Champion with hard rights and stinging lefts! PRL tries to fight back, but Panther is on a roll! Irish whip by Panther, PRL comes off of the ropes and goes for a clothesline, Panther ducks under, PRL turns around… PANTHER CUTTER! COLE The PANTHER CUTTER! Panther just drilled Tha Puerto Rican!! CABOOSE NO! NO! Panther grabs PRL by the hair and drags him over to the ropes, trying to eliminate his adversary! But before he can get PRL over the top rope, Stephen Joseph stops him with a low, LOW blow! CABOOSE Here comes the cavalry! Cappa has now decided to go for Alfdogg, and is trying to eliminate him on one side, while Edwards lays into Static in another corner with heavy boots. Panther is staggering back after the low blow, with PRL and SJ moving in on their prey! COACH That isn’t fair! Panther staggers back against the ropes and Tha Puerto Rican takes the initiative, clothes lining Panther over the top and to the floor, eliminating him! COLE Oh I cannot believe that! That is a travesty! ******************************* PANTHER ENTERED: 2nd ELIMINATED: 1st ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None LEFT IN THE RING: Stephen Popick, Alfdogg, The Mad Cappa, Tha’ Puerto Rican ******************************* Panther gets up immediately and begins to storm into the ring once again, but OAOAST officials are there to CABOOSE What do you mean it isn’t fair? PRL and Joseph eliminated him fiar and square! COACH Well it’s not right dammit! CABOOSE Thanks JR. COLE Well it appears that PR is allowed to be out here, as due to Chris Bryte’s injury earlier this evening, he will not be participating, and Bill watts has given the spot to Tha’ Puerto Rican! PR turns around, still smiling, and right into… The Mad Cappa! COACH Uh-oh guys, we know the history between these two men! This could explode! PR’s expression soon turns from happiness to shock, as he and Cappa stare each other down. Cappa, an angry look on his face, suddenly has a change of heart, as he smiles at PR! PR smiles back, and the two men nod at each other, seemingly uniting, to the shock of the crowd. They both take a step away from each other… COLE What? An alliance? … and both hit each other at the same time! The two hated rivals exchange blow after blow, hit after hit, with Cappa getting an advantage! But, out of nowhere, he is stopped by Stephen Joseph Popick, who lands a blow to the back of Cappa’s head, stopping his offensive onslaught! COACH Guess not! Alfdogg, meanwhile, springs into action, once again going after Popick, leaving three individual brawls of Static and Edwards, Alfdogg and Popick, and the legendary rivalry of Cappa and PR reignited! Suddenly, we have a COUNTDOWN! 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… Scotty Static is almost out of the ring at the hands of the returned J. Arthur Edwards!!! 5… 4… 3… Scotty is teetering… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* The crowd roars as Johnny Jackson appears, and sprints to the ring to save his partner! COLE Here comes Johnny! COACH G-P-X! G-P-X! CABOOSE I hate male cheerleaders. Jackson enters the ring as J. Arthur Edwards turns to meet him. They square off, with Edwards catching Jackson with a knee to the stomach! Scotty Static runs over to Edwards, stopping him from going any further. The Global Party Exchange then go to work on J. Arthur, double teaming the lawyer from Williams and Horn. Meanwhile, Alfdogg is choking Popick on the top rope, and PR is trying desperately to get Cappa out of the ring. COLE Cappa could be eliminated! Cappa does go over the top rope, but he lands on the apron, and quickly rolls back into the squared circle, earning a kneedrop from Tha Puerto Rican. Popick seems to be fading, while getting the air drained out of him by Alfdogg, who tries to eliminate the former INTEN5E leader. Popick goes over the top rope, but goes straight back into the ring between the top and second ropes. CABOOSE Two very close eliminations, Popick and Alfdogg have been in there the longest, and that will catch up to them as time goes on. COACH Very true Caboose, Alfdogg has to win this match to keep his job and he has promised to retire if he fails to do so! Alf and Popick both take a breather, as GPX continue to pummel J. Arthur Edwards, who stages a quick comeback, hitting elbows and right hands on the former Tag Champions, then throwing Scotty Static over the top rope… but he lands on the apron and rolls back in! Johnny Jackson’s forearm is the cause of J. Arthur’s next trip to the canvas, helping his partner once again. Cappa has the advantage in his battle with PRL… COUNTDOWN! 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* ‘Set it off, set it off now children!’ “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COACH Here comes my pick! My baby girl! COLE Well not anymore Coach, you aren’t the one that she’s dating! CABOOSE (muttering) Stupid love angles… COLE What was that? CABOOSE Nothing. Crystal takes her time getting into the ring, seeing the matchups that are currently in place, and picking the one she wants to get involved in the most. The fans are going insane for the Female Phenom. She hops onto the apron and steps between the ropes, methodically walking to the PRL and Cappa battle. Crystal begins to HELP Cappa try and eliminate PRL, but Cappa soon catches on, and turns on Crystal, sending her to the mat with a hard right hand, before shouting “I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP, BITCH!” COLE Cappa has flipped out at Crystal here! CABOOSE She shouldn’t have stuck her nose in his business! Cappa lays the boots in to the Female Phenom, who tries in vain to cover up. Tha Puerto Rican comes to his senses and starts to go after Cappa, but changes course, helping him lay the boots to Crystal! COLE The double team by Cappa and PR on Crystal! I never thought I’d see this! COACH This isn’t right! This is unfair! No! Somebody help her! Cappa tells PR to stop and let Crystal get up, and he obliges. Crystal slowly struggles to her feet, with Cappa laying in wait. COACH No baby! Don’t get up! Crystal gets to her feet… Kick Wham! BUST A CAP! CABOOSE Ha-ha! Your pick eh? Well done dumbass! PR laughs at Cappa, happy with what he sees before him, but tells Cappa to wait a second and let Crystal get up again! Crystal gets up even slower this time… Kick Wham! The Cappa Killer! COLE PR with the… Cappa Killer? PR looks at Crystal and shouts at her lifeless body ‘NOW THAT’S THE CAPPA KILLER!’ This obviously pisses Cappa off, as he pushes PR and then goes face tpo face with him, starting the trash talk! COACH Cappa took exception to the Cappa Killer there! Cappa and PR continue to jaw jack, and PR goes for a cheap shot on his rival… Cappa blocks, and hits a right! And another! A third! A fou… NO! Crystal is up again, and she take both men down with a double clothesline, before falling to her knees in pain! CABOOSE Cheap shot! Cheap shot! That jezebel! Alfdogg and Popick seem to be pretty exhausted, with neither having the energy to land a decent shot! Popick gets the advantage with a low kick to the crown jewels of the lowest drawing OAOAST Champion in history! COLE Popick got the nut shot! CABOOSE Yes! We don’t want that ass back in the company! COACH You want Popick to win? CABOOSE Oh crap… ok, eliminate each other! Popick runs at Alfdogg, but Alf ducks under, and Popick almost goes over the ropes and out of the ring… but he holds on!! Not for long though, as Alfdogg grabs Popick by the tights, and bundles him over the top rope to the outside for the second elimination of the match! COLE Popick’s gone! ******************************* STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK ENTERED: 1st ELIMINATED: 2nd ELIMINATED BY: Alfdogg WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None LEFT IN THE RING: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, J. Arthur Edwards, Alfdogg, Crystal, Tha’ Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa ******************************* Now, we have a COUNTDOWN~! As Alfdogg takes a rest! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* Dan Black runs down to the ring as PR, Cappa and Crystal begin to come to their senses. The current member of Black T and former General Manager of IntenseZone enters the battleground to heavy boos, immediately putting the boots to the Female Phenom, which now seems to be the order of the day! COLE Now Dan Black is going at Crystal… and what’s this? PR and Cappa are up again! Yes indeed Cole they are, as the two men surprisingly, join Dan Black in his quest against Crystal, triple teaming her, and making the crowd even more hostile. The three bad guys pummel Crystal, and the fans voice their disapproval. Meanwhile, Alfdogg slouches in the opposite corner, looking at the vultures devouring Crystal. He doesn’t seem to care, as he is saving his energy for closer to the end of the match. COACH Someone help her! Please! Pretty Please? CABOOSE Why don’t you do it jerky? CAOCH I’m not entered in the Rumble! CABOOSE Neither were the frickin Lightning Crew, but did they care? You like her so much, help her! COACH No! I’m scared! Alright? I’m scared! CABOOSE Finally, you admit it to everyone. The Global Party Exchange are still double teaming J. Arthur Edwards, and they have him against the ropes! Jackson takes Edwards out of the ropes and puts him in a suplex position, while Static perches himself on the second rope… DESIGNATED DRIVER BY GPX! J. ARTHUR IS ON DREAM STREET! COLE The Designated Driver! Amazing double team move, a suplex into a second rope Piledriver! GPX both pick J. Arthur Edwards up by the hair, and FLING him out of the ring, eliminating him! COACH Wow! GPX just eliminated J. Arthur! ******************************* J. ARTHUR EDWARDS ENTERED: 5th ELIMINATED: 3rd ELIMINATED BY: GPX WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None LEFT IN THE RING: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, Alfdogg, Crystal, Tha’ Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa, Dan Black ******************************* GPX look over at Crystal, but decide that taking everyone one at a time is a much more intelligent way of going about things, as they walk over to Alfdogg, who was taking a breather. The former tag champs pick the former OAAST Champion up and try to put him over the top, but Alfdogg soon catches on, and begins furiously barraging the two men with hard punches and elbows, getting out of harms way. The three heels, meanwhile, continue to lay into Crystal with stiff boots, elbows, and a variety of other fruity offensive moves. COLE Crystal is getting triple teamed badly on this exchange, these three men obviously see her as one of the biggest threats in this match. But she is now almost rendered helpless, and no one seems to care! CABOOSE She’ll learn the hard way to make more friends Cole. The three men pick Crystal up like a rag doll (not THE Ragdoll), and proceed to try and eliminate her, but the feisty Canadian holds into the top rope, with a pit bulldog’s-like grip. Suddenly, we have a COUNTDOWN~! With the fans hoping that Crystal can hold on for the next person to enter the ring. 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… COACH Someone could be coming to save Crystal! 4… CABOOSE Or it could be T-Bod or Zack, in which case she’d be completely stuffed. 3… COLE You know, you can be a real ass. COACH No! Please! Someone! 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* The crowd waits patiently… COLE What’s going on? We can see that Dan Black, PR and Cappa all have one eye on the entrance ramp, as well as one eye on eliminating Crystal, who still has a vice-like grip around the top rope! COLE Well it looks like number ele… BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COACH YES! YES! The three men trying to eliminate Crystal are startled by the pyro blast, and even more startled when the object of Crystal’s affection, Axel, sprinting to the ring! He slides into the ring, under the legs of The Mad Cappa, who is the first to meet him. Axel runs at Cappa and knocks him down with a hard clothesline! He grabs Tha’ Puerto Rican by the head and off of Crystal, and boots him in the stomach! EVENFLOW DDT! COLE Man, Axel is a house on fire here! Dan Black tries desperately to get Crystal over the top rope, and he finally breaks her grip on the top rope… but Crystal lands on the apron and rolls back into the ring. Axel pulls Dan Black into the centre of the ring, and goes for a vertical suplex… but Dan Black gets out of the hold… boot to the midsection, Dan goes for the Blackout… blocked by Axel! Dan Black gets pushed into the ropes, comes off… SPINEBUSTAH~! By Axel in the middle of the ring! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COACH Man, what impact! Axel stands up after the move, but The Mad Cappa comes up from behind him! Cappa throws Axel over the top rope… but he lands on the apron and rolls straight back into the ring. The crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief, but Cappa doesn’t realise that Axel is still in the match! CABOOSE Cappa, watch out! Cappa walks back over to Crystal and catches her with a right hand, followed by a boot to the stomach! He turns around… and comes face to face with Axel. Shouting a very audible ‘Oh, shit!’ Cappa eats a right hand from Axel and a second, and a third! Cappa, groggy from the shots, goes backward, and Axel follows. Axel shouts something at Cappa, and winds up… …BAM! SOLID right from Axel sends Cappa over the top rope and to the floor! Axel eliminates Cappa! COLE Cappa is out of here! Stiff right from Axel did it! ******************************* THE MAD CAPPA ENTERED: 4th ELIMINATED: 4th ELIMINATED BY: Axel WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None LEFT IN THE RING: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, Alfdogg, Crystal, Tha’ Puerto Rican, Dan Black, Axel ******************************* Axel looks on at Cappa, momentarily losing concentration for a second… and getting surprised by Dan Black, who attempts to eliminate him! Holding onto the top rope and managing to turn around, Axel headbuts Black, who steps backward and relinquishes his grip on The Dark One. Crystal and PR trade shots on the other side of the ring, with Crystal connecting with a German Suplex, taking Tha’ Puerto Rican down to the delight of the crowd! COLE Oh look! Alfdogg could be gone! Alfdogg is hanging on by a thread as both members of the Global Party Exchange try to eliminate him. Dan Black comes in from the side and catches Johnny Jackson in the back of the head with an elbow, which leaves Static to try and eliminate Alfdogg, and Axel taking his time around the ring, perhaps waiting for the next entrant. Crystal continues to have the advantage on PR, grounding the former NA Champ, and trying to wear him down with different shots to the temple. COACH Here’s the COUNTDOWN! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD kicks in, and The Current Big Thing, Brock Ausstin appears from behind the curtain, doing the famous HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE! COACH Wow, if JR were here, he’d be hyperventilating right now! CABOOSE Wow, you just said a word with six syllables, is that some sort of record? Brock walks down to the ring and hops up onto the apron, where he sees Axel, a man who he has had a lot of trouble with in the past. He steps between the ropes and into the squared circle, where he comes face to face with his former adversary. COLE Both these guy hate each other’s guts! This could explode! Brock and Axel trash talk, but Brock stops the words with a knee to the stomach of Axel! Brock scoops Axel up… and slams him down hard on the mat. CABOOSE The power of Brock Ausstin has always been too much for Axel to handle. Kill him Brock! Brock comes off of the ropes… big elbow drop to the chest of Axel! Brock mounts his opponent, and begins clubbing away with a series of blows! COLE Brock Ausstin has lost it! He’s going to town on Axel, the first man to ever pin him! COACH Oh, he won’t like that you mentioned that Cole! COLE (sarcastically) Well he can blow it out his ass, can’t he Coach? CABOOSE Feisty! Brock stops the torture and picks Axel up to his feet by the hair. The Current Big Thing then forces Axel back to the ropes, and tries to lift him over, but Axel has his right foot hooked under the bottom rope. COLE Sound strategy from Axel on this exchange, Brock doesn’t realise that Axel’s foot is hooked around that bottom rope, so he can’t eliminate him! Meanwhile, Crystal, still working on eliminating PRL, going so far as to get him over the top rope… but Tha’ Puerto Rican is very much aware of what is going on, and he slides under the bottom rope straight away, halting the danger of elimination. In the opposite corner, Dan Black has his boot placed firmly on Johnny Jackson’s throat, choking the life out of the former Tag Champion. Alfdogg has the advantage on Scotty Static now that it is one on one, and he has Static perched on the top turnbuckle, with the other half of GPX holding on! COACH There’s so much action going on here guys, how in the hell are we supposed to call it? Brock realizes where Axel’s foot is, and unhooks it, trying to eliminate him once again, but Crystal is there this time to come to Axel’s aid, landing the double sledge to the back of Brock’s head. Brock turns around to face Crystal, who lands three well placed right hands to the temple of the big man, before Brock catches her with both hands, by the throat! COLE Brock’s got her by the throat! Crystal’s in trouble! Luckily, Axel repays the favor, hooking Brock’s waist with one hand, and using immense strength to drop him down with a back suplex! Suddenly, we have a COUNTDOWN! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* COLE It’s… T-Bod! Ah yes, the other half of Black T trudges down the entrance ramp, looking at the in ring happenings. PRL is down, Axel and Crystal are working on Brock Ausstin, Alfdogg is paired up with Johnny Jackson, and his partner Dan Black has the advantage over Scotty Static. To the surprise of no one, T-Bod climbs into the ring and begins helping his partner dismantle Johnny ‘Jam’ Jackson. COLE Smart strategy by T-Bod, pairing up with Black, and working a two one one. CABOOSE Even smarter strategy by PRL, he’s foxin’! Black T begin to pummel Jackson even further, and Static finally breaks free of Alfdogg’s grip, pushing him away, and running to his partner’s aid through dropkicking Dan Black from behind, and sending him over the top rope… CABOOSE NO! …but he holds on! CABOOSE Oh god, that was close. Crystal leaves Axel to deal with Brock, as she sees out of the corner of her eye that PRL isn’t as incapacitated as he is letting on, while he’s lying in the corner. Crystal walks over to him, only to cop a hard shot in the stomach! PRL gets to his feet and hits Crystal again, following it with a toe kick! He goes for another Cappa Killer… but Crystal pushes him off! PRL then goes for the Latin Slam… but Crystal elbows out of that as well! PRL tries one last time for a big move… and he connects with a DIAMOND CUTTER! CABOOSE The LIGHTNING STRIKE! COACH No! Get up Crystal! PRL gets up and smiles at the crowd, happy with his handiwork. Suddenly a cheer goes up amongst the fans, and PRL wonders what’s going on. His question is soon answered, as we see a shot of none other than PANTHER making his way through the fans! CABOOSE What the hell is he doing here? He was eliminated! Restrain him! Panther hops over the guardrail, and PRL pleads with officials to stop Panther from making in to the ring, but they are too late, as Panther slides back into the squared circle… and takes PRL down with a spear tackle! COACH Panther takes PRL DOWN! Panther opens up on Tha’ Puerto Rican with rights and lefts, just going to town on his adversary. He finally gets off of PRL and pulls him to his feet, backing him up against the ropes, and clotheslining both men over the top rope and to the floor… … But PRL holds on! PRL is up on the apron quickly, relived that he held on. He isn’t happy for long though, as Crystal knocks him off the apron and to the floor, eliminating Tha’ Puerto Rican! CABOOSE THAT’S A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE! COLE PRL is eliminated! ******************************* THA’ PUERTO RICAN ENTERED: 7th ELIMINATED: 5th ELIMINATED BY: Crystal WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Panther LEFT IN RING: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, Alfdogg, Crystal, Dan Black, Axel, Brock Ausstin, T-Bod ******************************* PRL is IRATE at his elimination, and he and Panther begin brawling straight away, all the way up the aisle and out of the arena! COLE Well Panther got revenge for his elimination earlier and now Tha’ Puerto Rican is out of the Rumble! CABOOSE Well it’s a travesty Michael Cole, and I hope Panther is fined heavily for his actions! As Panther and PRL fight out of screen, Black T and the Global party Exchange continue to square off, and now Axel has moved on to fighting with Alfdogg, and Crystal and Brock are also squaring off, as we head to a COUNTDOWN~! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* COLE Oh no… CABOOSE Business has picked up guys! “Getting Away With Murder” begins as the fans collectively lose their freaking minds and start booing their asses off, obviously signifying the arrival of The Franchise of the OAOAST, Zack Malibu! Afldogg and Axel continue to trade right hands, with Axel ducking under a attempted clothesline… but he gets struck with a SUPERKICK from Alf, taking him down! Zack Malibu then slides into the ring, only to go face to face with Alf! COLE Man, two OAOAST veterans, and they’re going to square off! The crowd is loving this! Zack and Alf start the jaw jacking, waiting for one to make the first move. Zack finally does, and it’s on. Right hands, right hands, and more right hands, which seems to be a running theme in this whole match. Zack comes in with a hard knif-edged chop, and Alf comes back with one of his own, the crowd ‘whooing’ along with each one. COACH This is electric! Zack finally gets the advantage, as he is the fresher man. He knocks Alfdogg down, before running over to help Black T with the Global Party Exchange! Zack drops to his knees and delivers a low, LOW blow on Scotty Static, who was pummeling Dan Black, followed by a stiff kick to the back of the head on Johnny Jackson, who almost had T-Bod beat! CABOOSE The numbers game boys, the numbers game always wins! The Original Elite zero in on their prey, with the three men focusing firstly on Scotty Static, who is holding his balls in pain, and who is backed up against the ropes. The three men pick Scotty’s dead weight up with ease, and bundle him over the top rope for an easy elimination! COLE Scotty’s gone, and Johnny could be next! ******************************* SCOTTY STATIC ENTERED: 6th ELIMINATED: 6th ELIMINATED BY: The Original Elite WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: J. Arthur Edwards LEFT IN RING: Crystal, Dan Black, Axel, Brock Ausstin, T-Bod, Zack Malibu ******************************* Johnny tries desperately to fight back from the apparent onslaught, taking the route of fighting with all three men, with fists and elbows flying everywhere! It seems that he may just pull off the impossible for a split second, but the numbers game wins out again, with all three men forcing Jackson over the top rope, and to the floor, almost as if they had practiced it! COACH And there’s Johnny Jackson out! It doesn’t look good for Axel, Crystal or Alfdogg right now! ******************************* JOHNNY JACKSON ENTERED: 8th ELIMINATED: 7th ELIMINATED BY: The Original Elite WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: J. Arthur Edwards LEFT IN RING: Crystal, Dan Black, Axel, Brock Ausstin, T-Bod, Zack Malibu ******************************* The Original Elite gloat over their victory, and begin to pick their next target, but are interrupted by a COUNTDOWN~! 5… 4… 3… COLE Only one spot left, which must mean it belongs to… 2… 1… *BUZZZZZZ!!!!!!!* COLE … Leon Rodez! The crowd explodes in much the same way as they did for Axel and Crystal earlier as Rodez sprints to the ring to take care of business. He slides underneath the bottom rope, only to be jumped by all three members of The Original Elite! The ambush doesn’t last long, however, as Crystal takes T-Bod down from behind, and Alfdogg goes to Dan Black, leaving Leon Rodez one on one with his hated rival, Zack Malibu! Zack puts the boots to Rodez, taunting him as he does so, the hatred apparent in his eyes! Meanwhile, Brock Ausstin has Axel in his grasp, and is signaling that he will eliminate the Dark One! COACH Axel is in deep, deep trouble with Brock! Brock lifts Axel up onto his shoulders, with the intent to F-Stunner 5 him out of the ring, and out of the Rumble! He spins around for the move… But Axel slips down his back! Axel goes for an Axel Slam on Brock… but Brock reverses and slips down Axel’s back, leaving Axel against the ropes! Brock tries to clothesline Axel out of the ring, but Axel ducks out of it and runs to the other side of the ropes! Axel runs at Brock… … AND HITS A RUNNING ENZIGURI, TAKING BROCK OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ELIMINATING HIM! COLE Brock is OUT! The biggest man in this match is GONE, thanks to Axel! COACH Great move by Axel, the running enziguri caught Brock in the side of the head! ******************************* BROCK AUSSTIN ENTERED: 12th ELIMINATED: 8th ELIMINATED BY: Axel WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None LEFT IN RING: Alfdogg, Axel, Crystal, Dan Black, T-Bod, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez ******************************* Axel looks proud of his latest accomplishment, and second elimination of the match. He is soon brought back down to earth though, as Dan Black floors him with a running elbow strike! On the other side of the ring, Alfdogg and Zack Malibu are still going at it, But Alfdogg gets the knockdown. Leon Rodez sweeps T-Bod off of his feet with a vertical suplex, taking the other half of Black T down. COLE Leon Rodez might be going for Because the lady loves! Rodez climbs between the second and top ropes, to avoid elimination, and hops up to the top rope. He stands up; ready for the 450 Splash he calls his own, when Alfdogg runs up the ropes, trying to take Rodez down with a top rope belly to belly! But Rodez holds on! COACH We could have two quick eliminations! Alfdogg and Rodez exchange right hands and elbows, both perched on the top rope. Alfdogg looks to have the advantage, and tries to push Rodez off of the ropes, but Rodez holds on, and pushes Alfdogg! Alf starts to lose his balance, and Rodez gives him a swift elbow to the temple! CABOOSE Here goes the career of a great! Alf falls back... and out of the ring! COACH Alfdogg is out! ******************************* ALFDOGG ENTERED: 3rd ELIMINATED: 9th ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Stephen Joseph Popick LEFT IN RING: Axel, Crystal, Dan Black, T-Bod, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez ******************************* COLE The career of an OAOAST great is ended by a future OAOAST great, Leon Rodez! Zack Malibu, meanwhile, has gone to fight Axel, who is more than happy to comply. T-Bod squares off with Crystal also, and the Female Phenom has the advantage early… but T-Bod goes for a thumb to the eye. Irish Whip by T-Bod, Crystal comes off of the ropes… Spinning Heel Kick! COLE Crystal just almost took T-Bod’s head off with that Heel Kick! T-Bod is up quickly, and Crystal is there, putting him in a waist lock, and trying a German Suplex... but T-Bod blocks it! T-Bod turns around and hits the Rude Awakening! COACH Great neckbreaker by T-Bod… what am I saying? You bastard! Don’t hurt her! Dan Black has Leon Rodez on the top rope and almost eliminated, but Rodez lands a kick to the side of the head to send Black staggering back. Rodez stays on the top rope, and waits for Dan Black to turn around, before flooring him with the Silk Worm! Axel meanwhile, has Irish Whipped Zack into the ropes, and he tries for a Spinebuster, but Zack slips behind him! Axel turns round… …and RIGHT INTO SCHOOL’S OUT! CABOOSE YES! You showed him Zack! Zack sees that Dan Black is in trouble, and runs over to Leon Rodez, who is trying to eliminate the member of the Original Elite. Zack stops Rodez, pulling him off of Dan Black, and holds his arms from behind, giving Black a free shot! Black swings, and lands a hard right to the prone anatomy of Leon Rodez. He swings again, and lands another! COLE This isn’t fair! It’s two on one! Dan Black backs up against the ropes, going for a clothesline on Leon Rodez… …but Rodez ducks, and Black knocks down his partner, Zack Malibu! Black turns around, irate with what he has done, and Rodez catches him with a boot to the midsection! Rodez hooks Black’s arms… TIGER DRIVER! COLE Beautiful Tiger Driver by Leon Rodez, and both Dan Black and Zack Malibu are down! Leon grabs Malibu first and tries to eliminate him, but Dan Black holds Zack’s foot, so Rodez can’t shift the former OAOAST Champion! Rodez tries desperately to move Zack, but Dan Black has a grip on him! Finally, Rodez kicks Dan right in the head, which releases his hold on his partner. Rodez begins to take Zack over to the ropes, but Zack soon stops him with a boot to the stomach, Rodez doubling over in shock from the shot that obviously took the wind from his sails. COACH It’s hard to see who has the advantage on this exchange, it changes so often! Zack with a hard clubbing blow to the back of Rodez’ head, followed by a straight right to the temple. Rodez falls back against the ropes, and Dan Black finally gets to his feet, and looks at his partner, who looks back at Dan. Zack and Dan both charge… …and double clothesline Leon Rodez over the top rope, and out of the match! COLE Rodez is out! Dan Black and Zack Malibu eliminated Leon Rodez! ******************************* LEON RODEZ ENTERED: 15th ELIMINATED: 10th ELIMINATED BY: Dan Black and Zack Malibu WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Alfdogg LEFT IN RING: Axel, Crystal, Dan Black, T-Bod, Zack Malibu ******************************* COLE The numbers game was just too much for Leon Rodez! Axel was knocked down and… wait a minute! Wait a minute indeed; as Dan Black is taunting Leon Rodez on the outside, Zack Malibu comes up from behind him… … and ELIMINATES HIM FROM THE RUMBLE! CABOOSE WHAT? COACH WOW! DAN BLACK WAS ELIMINATED BY ZACK MALIBU! THAT’S INCREDIBLE! Zack smiles and shrugs at the shocked Dan Black, and mouths the words ‘every man for himself’ to his irate partner! The arena is in shock! CABOOSE Wow. I can’t believe that! ******************************* DAN BLACK ENTERED: 10th ELIMINATED: 11th ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: Axel, Crystal, T-Bod, Zack Malibu ******************************* COLE Neither can we Caboose! Zack Malibu eliminated one of his partners in the Original Elite! Just as the elimination occurs, T-Bod PLANTS Crystal with a Spinebuster, and immediately gets up and runs over to Zack! T-Bod gets in Zack’s face, and asks him what the hell is going on, to which Zack just shrugs, exactly how he did to Dan Black earlier. T-Bod pushes Zack backward, who sarcastically pushes T-Bod back, and invites him to take a shot, stating that it’s every man for himself. CABOOSE No guys! Don’t fight! Please! T-Bod cocks his fist back, ready to hit Malibu, but before anything can happen, both men are taken down by stereo spears by Axel and Crystal! The Happy couple opens up on their adversaries, with Crystal pummeling Zack, and Axel going to town on T-Bod. Axel lifts T-Bod to his feet, and Crystal does the same to Zack. They each take opposite sides of the ring to try and eliminate their opponents. Axel tries to lift T-Bod over the top rope, but the veteran won’t oblige, raking Axel’s eyes, and sending him backward. Crystal tries the same to Zack, but she gets a thumb to the eye also, with the heels using dirty tactics to try and gain the advantage. T-Bod goes for a right hand, but Axel blocks it and hits one of his own! Axel hits three more right hands, and has T-Bod against the ropes! Axel measures his opponent… CABOOSE NO! … and catapult’s him over the top rope with his patented stiff uppercut, a loud ‘SMACK’ of fist on jaw making the crowd let out a loud “OOOOOOOOOH”, as T-Bod goes over the top, and out of the Rumble match! COLE That shot is amazing guys! Axel puts so much power behind that uppercut! COACH And T-Bod is gone! We are down to the Final Three! Axel, Crystal, and Zack Malibu! ******************************* T-BOD ENTERED: 13th ELIMINATED: 12th ELIMINATED BY: Axel WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson LEFT IN RING: Axel, Crystal, Zack Malibu ******************************* Just as T-Bod is eliminated, Axel turns around… only to see Crystal running at him as a result of a Zack Malibu Irish Whip! So, Axel does the first thing that comes to his mind, he ducks, and Crystal jumps over him, and over the top rope to land on the apron! COLE Close call there… Axel asks Crystal if she’s ok, to which she nods, and he turns around again… And RIGTH INTO SCHOOL’S OUT! Axel falls backwards, and into Crystal… …which knocks her off of the apron, ELIMINATING HER! COACH NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ******************************* CRYSTAL ENTERED: 9th ELIMINATED: 13th ELIMINATED BY: Axel WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Tha’ Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Axel, Zack Malibu ******************************* CABOOSE And THAT is how you eliminate your girlfriend. Great stuff by Axel, bravo! COACH But he didn’t… he couldn’t… Zack forced Axel into Crystal! It wasn’t his fault! NO! CABOOSE Well, at least Axel can go have a romance with Gene F’N Snitsky when he gets DUMPED! Or maybe that WAS Axel dumping Crystal! If so, good show Down Under boy, great show! COLE You have to believe that Axel didn’t mean to eliminate Crystal there; he was pushed into her by Zack’s super kick! Axel looks down at Crystal, wide eyed, apologizing profusely. His expression soon turns from one of shock to one of immense anger though, as he turns around to face the only other man in the ring, Zack Malibu. Zack laughs at Axel, taunting him for eliminating his girlfriend, until Axel fires at him with a right! A left! Another right! Zack tries a haymaker, but misses, Axel backs up, charges, and connects with a HUGE Harlem Sidekick! COLE I take it Axel isn’t happy guys… Axel begins to pick Zack up… but Zack regains the advantage with a low blow! COACH Glad to see he’s setting an example for the kiddies guys. Zack gets up from the move and measures Axel, who is slowly getting to his feet. Axel turns around to face Zack, and RIGHT INTO SCHOOL’s O… NO! Axel catches Zack’s foot! Axel pushes Zack’s foot back down, and floors him with a vicious clothesline that sends the fans into a frenzy! Axel BEGS Malibu to get up again, and he obliges. More rights by Axel, Irish whip by the Dark one… right into a SPINEBUSTAH~! COLE Better than Hoff’s! Axel picks Zack up by the hair and signals for the end! He runs over to the ropes, attempting to throw Zack over… but Zack reverses throwing Axel over the top rope… and Axel lands on the apron! COACH Whew! Close call! Zack looks at Axel, prone, on the ring apron, and smirks, going for a right hand… but Axel ducks under, and hooks Zack’s head for a front face lock! COLE Oh my! Axel is going to try and suplex Zack over the top rope! CABOOSE NO! Zack! Hold on! You were my pick from the start! Axel tries to suplex Zack once, and the crowd wills him on with their cheers, and chants of ‘AX-EL! AX-EL!’ Zack blocks the first attempt, but not the second, with Axel lifting him up for a suplex. Luckily for the Franchise though, he shifts his weight, and Axel can no longer hold him up, with Zack landing on the apron also! COLE Both men are on the apron, one could go at any time! Axel gets a right hand to the face of Zack, with one arm still holding onto the top rope. Zack replies with a right, and the two men exchange three or four more punches that are sure to take the tally in this match to beyond four digits. Zack rakes Axel’s eyes, and he instinctively puts a hand to his face to hold the damaged area, but he continues his vice-like grip on the top rope. COACH Axel won’t let go! He won’t give up! Zack uses Axel’s incapacitation to climb back into the ring and become somewhat ‘safe’. Zack looks at his opponent, hanging onto his chances of winning the Rumble with one hand, and smirks once again, knowing that victory is in his grasp. Zack lands a right hand, which sends Axel backward, but with his hand still gripped on the top rope. He lands a second, but Axel won’t let go! Zack hooks Axel’s head in a suplex position, and tries to suplex him out of the Rumble, but Axel still won’t let go! COACH Axel is like a pit bulldog! Axel breaks the front face lock, grabs Zack’s head, and hangs him up on the top rope, sending the two time OAOAST Champion backward, and down, and giving Axel enough time to get into the ring! COLE Well Axel’s back and safe! Axel collects his thoughts for a second, and Zack gets back up. Zack charges, and goes for SCHOOL’S OU… but misses again, with Axel ducking under! Axel picks Zack up from behind, attempting an Axel Slam! COLE Axel Slam coming! Zack is out! Axel attempts an Axel Slam out of the ring… COACH Axel Slam! Axel Slam out of the ring! …but Zack lands on the apron once again! Zack stares at Axel, knowing that he is almost gone. He tries a haymaker left, but misses. A haymaker right, but misses that as well. COLE Nothing’s working! Nowhere to go for Zack Malibu! Axel smiles at Zack in much the same way as Zack smiled at him earlier. Zack screams “YOU CAN’T BEAT ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!” and Axel soon replies, measuring Zack, and connecting… …with A STIFF UPPERCUT THAT SENDS ZACK FLYING OFF THE APRON AND TO THE FLOOR! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE NO! HE CAN’T WIN! COACH But HE DID! AXEL ELIMINATED ZACK MALIBU! ******************************* ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: 14th ELIMINATED: 14th ELIMINATED BY: Axel WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Scotty Static, Johnny Jackson, Leon Rodez, Dan Black ******************************* ******************************* AXEL ENTERED: 11th THE WINNER WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: The Mad Cappa, Brock Ausstin, T-Bod, Crystal, Zack Malibu ******************************* COLE AXEL DID IT! AXEL WON THE RUMBLE! AXEL IS GOING TO ANGLEMANIA! As ‘Down with the Sickness’ begins to blare, Axel stands in the middle f the ring, the victor, the survivor of this grueling Rumble match. He stands proud, looking around at the crowd who have given him the support that he has needed throughout his victory. He then raises his head, before points to the left side of the crowd, the right side of the crowd, and then to the centre crowd, before… BOOOOOOOM! He strikes the crucifix pose, igniting the four turnbuckles with pyrotechnics! He then gets his hand raised by the official, and climbs up the turnbuckle to pose and celebrate his win. CABOOSE This makes me sick! He does not deserve this! Zack was supposed to win! COACH Axel outlasted fourteen of the TOP OAOAST superstars tonight to win the Rumble match! He is going to AngleMania Four to face the OAOAST Champion! What an opportunity! What a victory! What a night! COLE And on that note ladies and gentlemen, we bid you farewell, and leave you with this final statement: THE ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA HAS JUST BEGUN!

COLE Well, fans, our next match is the final one of the night -- the Lethal Rumble. After the Rumble is over, we'll know who'll headline AngleMania IV against the OAOAST Champion. But before we go to the ring, let's send it backstage, where our own Josh Matthews is standing by with The Mad Cappa. CABOOSE Can you believe this guy is getting married? I thought you and him were lovers, Cole. COLE Josh, it's all yours, my friend. CABOOSE Oh, I see. You're just "friends" now. COLE Shut up! Josh? We cut backstage, where Josh Matthews is with The Mad Cappa, just minutes away from the Lethal Rumble match. The men are standing in front of an Anglepalooza banner. JOSH Well Cappa. It's almost time for the rumble! How do you feeel...... Cappa shoves Josh to the floor and snatches the microphone. CAPPA (Yelling) SIT DOWN! (To the camera) FINALLY! TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT! TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT I WIIIIIIIIINN THE LETHAL RUMBLE! Finally my destiny will be complete when I win a chance for the World Heavyweight title at Anglemania IV! No one will, no, no one CAN stop me from winning! Even though I'm suspended, I got to be here thanks to my contract, so if I win, no, WHEN I win, Billy boy will have no choice but to give me that title shot! So if any of the others get in my way, be forewarned! If I see you,*WHAM* (does a elbow motion to the air), you are out! If I see Brock, *WHAM* (with elbow motion), you're out! Panther, *WHAM* (elbow motion again), out! Popick, despite the fact that you have made me seen the light and spared me from getting in at #1, if you're still in when I get out there, *WHAM*! You're out! Crystal and Axel, OOOOOOO quite the couple! So when the (*bleep*) gets in, *WHAM*, you know the drill! Axel, Axel, Axel! Don't think that I haven't been waiting to face you again ever since the only time we've ever faced each other. So when come in, *WHAM*! Out, out, out! T-Bod and Dan, Black T! Even though I respect you guys and you are the most classiest people in here, but I'm sorry! *WHAM!* You both are going out! Leon! Don't think that since I was this close to winning your X title away that I'm going to cower back in fear when I see you. So you already know what to expect! Lightining Craptacular! (Brief pause) Words are not enough to describe how I feel that you have returned and to be in this rumble! So when you step in, just remember! I STILL HATE YOU! So your sorry 'boricua' (mocking) ass is going out the quickest! After everybody else is through and my hands get waved up in victory, there will be one man left! The champ himself! Drek Stone! So when I win the rumble, I will go on to face him and based on histoy, I have beaten him the most than anybody else here so it would be fun to go up and face him again! Then will everything come full circle! For all the naysayers out there! The people who say I will never amount to anything! I will prove you all wrong! Even though this last month has been no changes, I'm going to go do something about this! I'm out here to show everybody that I am not a joke, a no body, a loser! So tonight GATAMELA! It's the night of The Mad Cappa! JOSH There you have it, straight from The Mad Cappa's mouth. Now let's go to my broadcast colleague Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who's with The Original Elite. Jesse? We cut to the locker room of The Original Elite, where Jesse is with Tony Brannigan, a towel wrapped around his neck and with a bottle water in his hand. Dan Black is sitting on a stool, tighting up his boot laces. Jivin' J.R. is sitting on the floor Indian style, humming the Oklahoma fight song. Zack Malibu and Candie are nowhere to be seen. VENTURA It hasn't been a good night for 3 men and a beautiful lady. Of course I'm talkin' about The Original Elite. Not only did Candie lose her bid to become Women's Champion, but earlier tonight, Zack Malibu and Dan Black were jobbed out of the tag titles by Chicks Over Dicks, a team who has no business even being in the same ring as the Elite... yet alone a wrestling ring. But two women were in the ring, and they captured the tag team championship of the world. So I'm here in the very unhappy locker room of Zack Malibu, Dan Black and Tony "T-Bod" Brannigan, the threesome known as The Original Elite. Tony takes a sip of water and then caps it shut. VENTURA Personally I think it's a disgrace that the tag team championships -- a championship I once held with the late Adrian Adonis, as the East-West Connection -- are now in the procession of two women! While Black T were winning matches, Alix and Krista were working for Planned Parenthood or somethin'. Not to mention, they haven't competed regularly. They come and they go. If the United States doesn't allow women on the battlefield, we damn sure shouldn't allow them in the ring. TONY No more mister nice guy. Krista, Alix, we gave you a chance to get physical with us in the bedroom not the wrestling ring, but since you wanna play with the boys, how 'bout coming to play with the two biggest boys on the lot this Thursday? We tried being gentlemen, but obviously that approach didn't work, and like anything that doesn't work, you return it. That's why we're proposing -- that's probably the last time either one of you screwed up sorority chicks gets proposed to -- a return match this Thursday night on HeldDOWN. You may have defeated Zack Malibu and Dan Black, but you haven't defeat the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, Black T. We didn't give our blood, sweat and tears just to let you run free with the straps...on. If you have the ovaries, you'll accept the challenge. After what we'll do to you Thursday, you're going to wish you had choosen to stay home tonight, cuddle next to each other on the couch while munching on car-tons of ice cream watching a rerun of Desperate Housewives. VENTURA Who's your favorite housewife? TONY Without question, Bree. (stammering) I mean--I mean...not that I watch the show or anything. I have a thing for Marcia Cross, that's why I know the name of her character. Not that there's anything wrong with me -- I mean, a man watching a show with hot women on it. You know, uh...uh... I think women find women -- men, I mean men, find men... What I'm saying is, I believe women find men who can broaden their viewing pleasures outside of sports and porn very attractive. See, I have a thing for older women in general. Less hassle than some partying 20-something. My age range is 18-50 years old. VENTURA 50, huh? Tony begins wondering why he even bothered to answer Jesse's question. Sensing his boy is looking for a way out... VENTURA Women do age better now than ever before. TONY Absolutely. Absolutely. If you're over 50...and hot...it's a wham, bam, thank you, ma'am for you. Under 50, and I may consider settling down...NOT! But I would have sex with you. Not you, Jesse -- a woman. VENTURA I understand what you were sayin'. Although I'm sure Michael Cole is sorely disappointed. Dan Black walks up to Tony and slaps him on the chest, firing up the big man. VENTURA Dan Black, where's Zack Malibu? BLACK Mr. Malibu is currently busy franchising Candie's ass. I echo Tony's statements, not about the television show, but about C.O.D. You see, you bloody skanks, the tag team championships are like potato chips: bet you can't eat just one. (chuckles) Well, that describes Mr. T's sexual appetite. But my point is, unlike chips, we can't go to the store a buy replica tag belts and say we're still the champs, no. We have to step inside a squared circle and punish our bodies, giving our blood, sweat and tears to walk out with our hands raised. Tonight, it was your lucky night. But Thursday the odds will be stacked in our favor, if you do so accept our challenge. The challange has been issued, ladies. The balls are in your court. VENTURA Guys, what about the Lethal Rumble? All 3 members of The Original Elite are entered. Gimme your thoughts. TONY You said it, Jesse -- all 3 members of the most elite organization in wrestling today will compete against 12 other wrestlers for the opportunity-of-a-lifetime, a chance to headline the biggest show of the year for the biggest prize in this business. We won't deny the talent involved in the Lethal Rumble, but I promise you the winner will be a member of The Original Elite, because, in the words of a great philospher -- "thinking singularly; working collectively." That's what we're all about. Dan and Tony flash the 3-B hand gesture and walk away from the camera. VENTURA Strong words from Black T, the people's tag team champions, who have challenged to the new tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks, for this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! and promise the winner of the Lethal Rumble will be a member of The Original Elite. Now some other comments. Standing in front of an OAOAST banner are THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! Even though they lost to the Eagles, Scotty is still proudly wearing his #7 Michael Vick jersery. Johnny has on a Ben Wallace Pistons jersery. SCOTTY (rapping) Yo, my name is Scotty, and I plan on winning the rumbie. JOHNNY (rapping) My name Johnny, and I sleep with Scotty's mommy. SCOTTY Dude! JOHNNY I, uh... I mean, slept with Scotty's mommy. SCOTTY Dude! JOHNNY I mean, we're here to win the 2005 Royal Rumble. SCOTTY Yo, peepers, it ain't the Royal Rumble no more, homie. "Cowboy" Bill renamed the sucka so the OAOAST no longer had to share the name of an crappy event like WWE. It's the Lethal Rumble now, yo. JOHNNY Whoa, sounds lethal. SCOTTY That's why it's called the Lethal Rumble, playa. And that's why we plan on winning the damn thing. That belt has been worn by some of the biggest names in 'tis business. JOHNNY Yeah, like Ric Flair -- WHOOOO! -- Hulk Hogan, and Triple H! SCOTTY & JOHNNY NOT! JOHNNY Me and the S-Man plan on settin' the ring on fire like a wildfire blazin' through Smoky the Bear's crib. We're gonna throw out 15 other men -- 'scuse me, I meant 14 other men, 1 woman -- and dance, dance, dance our way into the main event of AngleMania IV. SCOTTY Yo, "Jam," if you throw out 15 sports entertainers, then who wins the damn thing? There won't be anybody left. JOHNNY Damn, you be right again, S-Man. Let me rephrase that: I'm gonna throw out 14 other-- SCOTTY But then I wouldn't win it. JOHNNY Yeah, I know. I would. SCOTTY But I wanna ME AM IV. JOHNNY So do I. Besides, I have the most experience wrestling. SCOTTY Well, I'm younger than you. I have my whole career to look forward to. JOHNNY You only 2 years younger, S. SCOTTY And that makes you 2 years older. When you 50, I'll be 48. Oh, God, with some of the things we do out of the ring, imagine what we might look like then. Shit, dude, we need to compromise. We ain't gettin' any younger standin' here. JOHNNY Okay, I got. Whichever one of us wins, we'd give the other a title shot. Deal? SCOTTY Homie play dat. JOHNNY The GPX plan on walking out of AngleMania with the OAOAST World and Tag Team titles. SCOTTY Lethal Rumble and Anderson Cup winners: The Global Party XChange! Scotty and Johnny chest bump. SCOTTY & JOHNNY Respect.

The Saints will change races more than J-Lo changes husbands. * rimshot * And the funny thing is, unless I'm wrong on J-Lo's marriages, it would be 3 apiece. You can do whatever you want with the Fanboiz. You saved one team from becoming a complete waste, so I trust you with whatever you have in mind for the Boiz.

So Synth was the white guy from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Whoops! I figured Lenny Kravitz represented Synth because of his cooler sounding name -- well, I think it sounds cool because it's different. If The Saints were real wrestlers, I'd invision Synth as the breakout star of the two. I guess we could change them back and have Synth say he wanted to experience how Logan lived life so he grew an afro, or something.

Alf and Phenom, I received your segements, just in case you wanted to know.

GPX, Love Doctors, Hell's Hitmen, Frankensteiners will all be in action And fallout involving Black T-COD and The Saints-NNMX

Really? I always thought Synth was the one with the afro because of the pic used for their graphic at AS or whichever PPV it was. And I beg to differ on me writing The Saints better than you. Much like I did with GPX when I originally started writing for them, I usually think of something wild and build around that. Onto the (shitty) feedback... Good job building up the Hoff-Stevens cage match during the OPENING PROMO~! When Hoff said he was saving it up inside of himself, I thought it read he was saving himself for Chris. Now, that would of been funny. Still, a good dueling promo. Excellent job by Patty writing the Alix-Tony promo. I loved the banter between him and Krista, especially T-Bod's final retort -- "You hit like a girl." Yes, I wrote that line, but it was still good. Once Koko B. Ware was announced as 70s Dude's opponent, he could do no wrong. I mean, the parrot took a bump! How couldn't you like that. Phenom's promo was short and sweet, also building up his match at AP by having Geddon attack. Good post-match segment involving Tina, KYT, Ausstin and the Illuminators. Skimmed the match, which looked very well done, as usual when it comes to Panther. If Canadians didn't already have enough ammo for hating Buffer when he used to call Bret Hart Bret Clarke, there's another reason. Eskimo does a great job with the Docs. I liked their entrance. I liked the makeover Patty gave to the Fanboiz, including the new spelling of the name. The match itself was good, with some fun comedy thrown in. Nice job giving Flaire and Jingus bout some backstory in their backstage segment. Good job on the match too. Interesting segment involving Calvin. Hopefully it means more of him. The Frankensteiners finally get a win -- a big win at that. Of course, that means they'll be gone within a week. Overall, it was a good show before the PPV.

COLE Well, the time has come for our Heavyweight Championship matchup here tonight. Drek Stone vs. AJ Flaire! CABOOSE You realize this is the second straight month Drek Stone is getting shafted out of the Main Event Pay-Per-View slot? Simply inexcusable. COLE Well, either way, folks, this one has really been boiling over the past few weeks. Starting when someone tampered with Drek Stone’s New Years Countdown back in December! COACH Well, I mean, I thought it was funny. But apparently, Drek Stone didn’t think so. He demanded someone take responsibility for it -- and shockingly enough, Pheonix came out! CABOOSE Oh, don’t remind me of that! COLE As we all saw, Pheonix wound up getting the surprising win over Drek Stone. But in the end, it wasn’t Pheonix at all. To our complete shock, AJ Flaire made his return back to OAOAST television! And, in the process, got himelf a title match at AnglePalooza! And as we all just found out last Thursday, this isn’t just any Heavyweight title match. To make this situation a little more dangerous, both competitors here are going to be battling in an I-Quit Match! COACH I’ve really been looking forward to this one! Let’s get down to the ring! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this special I-Quit matchup is scheduled for fall. And it is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” As soon as Buffer finishes his sentence, “Man in the Box” starts off and the fans jump to their feet. I’m The Man In My Box Buried In My Shit Won’t You Come And Save Me? Save Me? Immediately after the last line of “Save Me?” hits the loudspeakers, AJ Flaire jumps out through the curtains, receiving a wild reaction in return. As they wildly cheer for them, AJ slaps his chest and starts walking down the ramp. BUFFER First, here comes the challenger. Hailing from Detroit, Michigan….weighing in at 225 pounds….he is making his return back into an OAOAST ring. After suffering a crippling back injury a few months ago, most thought he would never make it back to wrestling again. But here he is, having a chance to win the title that has eluded him all his career. A former X-Division Champion, he goes by the moniker of THE PHENOMENAL ONE…..A……J………FLAAAAAAAAAAAAIREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! COACH As much as I’d love to see AJ win here tonight, we can’t forget what Drek Stone pointed out to us earlier. He is just in no condition to compete here. He has not gotten medical clearance and, truth be told, his back may just be too weakened to fight. Once he gets to the bottom of the ramp, AJ Flaire slides in the ring and moves over to a nearby turnbuckle. He jumps up on the middle rope and raises his arms up for the crowd. COLE AJ Flaire actually has quite the history with I-Quit matches at AnglePalooza. Last year at AnglePalooza, he actually managed to make Mad Matt say I-Quit to defend his X-Title. But as he said on HeldDown, this year, the stakes are higher. And the opponent is of a higher caliber. Can he do it again? CABOOSE No. COACH Yes. COLE It remains to be seen. In the middle of Cole’s finishing statement, he is cut off by the sounds of A3 and the HBO ground-breaking hit “The Sopranos”. That song is immediately followed by the loud jeering from all these Torontians. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One CABOOSE I always love this entrance! BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete” AND “The Best Looking Man to Ever Step Into a Professional Wrestling Ring”! A former Italian Champion, this man has managed to successfully defend his title time and time again in the past two months since he won it back in November. Folks, please put your hands together for the CURRENT OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD……DRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!! Standing at the top of the ramp, Drek raises his hands for the Toronto crowd, receiving quite an impressive negative reaction in return. Walking down to ringside, Drek completely ignores the fans trying to reach out for his hand, and slowly steps into the ring. COLE Now, while AJ Flaire HAS been successful in I-Quit matches before, this is the first match of its type that Drek Stone is ever encountering. That could put him at a disadvantage. CABOOSE Yeah, well, that Elimination Chamber back in November was the first time Drek Stone was entering such a match. It didn’t hold him back then. Calm down with your doomsday theories. Standing in the center, he slaps his chest defiantly, causing a remarkable stream of golden fireworks to arise from the four corners of the ring. Drek then unstraps the Heavyweight Title from around his waist and moves to a nearby corner. Once he steps on the second rope, he holds the gold up for the fans, receiving those familiar boos once again. Once he gets off the turnbuckle, he glares at AJ Flaire. *DING! DING! DING!* Drek begins walking over to AJ Flaire with his arm extended and a wide grin on his face. CABOOSE See, look at this. Drek Stone wants a friendly handshake before this match starts off. How could you not respect that? COLE Just so everyone knows, the two combatants have been gimmicked with mini-microphones at the start of this match. They can turn them on whenever they want to speak. This way, they can have the crowd hear them without constantly having to pick up a microphone. COACH Well, that's certainly convenient. COLE Less writing involved too. As Drek gets nearer to AJ, he suddenly gets ROCKED with a huge right hand from the challenger! The fans explode as Drek Stone stumbles back. AJ runs forward and hits him with another HARD right hand! And another! And another! The Heavyweight Champion falls into the ropes as AJ Flaire pummels him with a barrage of fists to the head. He then steps back and…. *SMACK* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” …..unleashes a stinging chop across the chest of Drek Stone. AJ steps back once again… *SMACK* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ….and another chop! Drek instinctively reaches for his chest to soothe the stinging, but this allows AJ Flaire the chance to hit Drek Stone with a NASTY European Uppercut across the jaw. The impact of the blow sends the Heavyweight Champion over the top rope and to the arena floor! COLE AJ Flaire is on FIRE in the early goings of this match! COACH Drek Stone should have never revealed AJ’s condition earlier tonight. That just made AJ Flaire more motivated to end this match as early as possible. As Drek starts to stand on the floor, AJ refuses to give him a chance to breathe. Without hesitation, The Phenomenal One runs across the ring and dives between the middle and top ropes with a plancha, BRINGING BOTH HIM AND DREK STONE BACK DOWN TO THE FLOOR!! The fans explode as AJ gets back up immediately and salutes them with a powerful fist in the air. Drek starts making an attempt to crawl away, but AJ stops him by grabbing a strong hold of his hair and forcing back up to his feet. Once he does so, AJ grabs him by his arm and gives him a hard irish whip! Drek Stone goes running into the stairs -- and hits KNEES-FIRST, sending him propelling over the stairs and back onto the floor! “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” CABOOSE Oh, to hell with this! I don’t care what AJ Flaire does here! He will never, ever make Drek Stone quit! Never! COACH What if he asks Drek Stone, “Do you quit?”, and Drek answers back “DO I QUIT?! DO I QUIT?!” Technically, he would be saying the wor- CABOOSE Don’t even finish that sentence. I can’t listen to this drivel now. Right after hitting the stairs and winding up back on the floor, Drek tries making a desperate attempt to crawl away. But, of course, there’s AJ Flaire behind him, ready to stalk the champion. Once he gets close enough to Drek Stone, AJ grabs a nearby camera cord and wraps it around the Italian Stallion’s throat. The fans start cheering as Drek tries frantically to unwrap the cord, but AJ only tightens his grip. He then forces Drek back up to his feet, grabs him by the seat of his pants -- and FLINGS HIM into the metal turnbuckle post! Drek hits the corner post chest first, then goes rolling back to the floor. COLE I think we can now safely say this isn’t going to be your typical wrestling match, folks. CABOOSE Well, what in the HELL helped you reach that conclusion? With the Heavyweight Champion now on the arena floor, trying to regain his wits, the challenger takes a walk to the timekeeper’s table, forcing the announcer to vacate his chair for the second time since Thursday. AJ immediately folds the chair up and walks over to Drek with it. As Drek slowly starts to stand, AJ swings the chair forward -- -- and winds up hitting the steel post! The fans let out a disappointed sigh as the *CLANG* of metal hitting metal echoes in the building. With Flaire sidetracked for a second, this gives Drek the chance to hit him with a well-placed boot to the midsection. The force of the kick causes AJ to drop the chair -- and allows Drek the opportunity to pick it up instead. CABOOSE Yes! Now it’s time for this match to really start! As AJ rests on one knee, Drek starts to pick the chair up over his head. Once Flaire is up, the Heavyweight Champion swings the chair…. …..but AJ Flaire jumps up and hits the chair with a spinning heel kick, SMASHING IT INTO DREK STONE’S FACE INSTEAD! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Drek immediately falls down to the arena floor as the fans explode in support of The Phenomenal One. COLE What a HUGE move AJ Flaire just hit already! That could have done some MAJOR damage! CABOOSE Come on, Drek! You need to get into this match! With Drek’s brains already scrambled at this point, he’s easy pickings for AJ to pick up and roll back into the ring. Once he does so, Drek immediately scampers over to a corner on the other side of the ring, and tries standing with the use of the ropes. AJ slides back into the ring and walks to meet Stone -- but gets a surprise kick to the midsection! AJ doubles over for a second, but then walks back over to Drek -- and gets another kick to the stomach. With Flaire stunned for the moment, Drek hops up to the second rope. He braces himself to jump off…. …..but AJ suddenly hits him with a high dropkick! Drek starts teetering back, looking off-balance, as the fans start screaming for him to fall. After a moment of teasing the crowd, Drek grabs a hold of the ropes and keeps himself perched on the turnbuckle. This gives AJ the chance to put his palm on the side of Stone’s head and SHOVE him off the turnbuckle! Drek goes hurtling over the top rope and DOWN TO THE ARENA FLOOR! Once again, this gets another huge pop! COLE OH MY GOD! WHAT A HUGE FALL! TWENTY! MAYBE THIRTY FEET! COACH Cole, it was only like an eight foot drop! Hard fall, yeah, but still. COLE FORTY FEET!! The fans start seriously clapping for AJ Flaire as the camera gets a closer look at the champ’s condition. That shove off the top rope has definitely had an effect on Drek Stone as he lays prone on the arena floor. COACH This isn’t good. Drek Stone hasn’t moved an inch since he fell off the turnbuckle. CABOOSE …..no. No, this isn’t good at all. COACH I mean, on the bright side, if you’re unconscious, you can’t really say “I Quit.” But I doubt you want things to go that way. As Drek continues to lay outside the ring, AJ moves over to a nearby turnbuckle with a wry grin on his face. The fans start to buzz, realizing that he might have something special planned here. Sure enough, AJ starts to climb up the ropes until he gets to the top. COLE What in the hell could AJ Flaire be preparing for here?! CABOOSE This is stupid! We know the condition his back is in! Why go for something like this?! Once AJ gets to the top rope, he stands for a moment and looks out to the crowd. They’re obviously loving it at the moment. He then glances at Drek Stone, who has still not moved since he fell off the top. AJ then gives a slight nod of his head and braces himself. HE JUMPS OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH AN ELBOWDROP -- -- BUT DREK STONE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! AND AJ FLAIRE HITS THE ARENA FLOOR, COMPLETELY MISSING THE ELBOWDROP ALL TOGETHER! COACH OUCH!!! Immediately after hitting the floor, AJ screams out in pain and rolls along with the momentum of the move. He quickly puts a hand out to touch his back, but thinking better of it, then takes the hand away just as quickly. Instead, he starts to moan instead, clutching the back of his head, which was hurt in the impact of the fall as well. “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” CABOOSE What did I tell you guys?! It is BEYOND stupid to take such a risk! I knew it. And now AJ Flaire is learning it as well. COLE And quite honestly, you really can’t make stupid mistakes like that when you’re fighting Drek Stone. CABOOSE Exactly. Both men lay on the floor for a second, until Drek Stone finally starts to stir first by rolling onto his knees. Meanwhile, AJ is slowly starting to move up as well. CABOOSE Do you see how smart he is? Playing possum, knowing that AJ was going to do something stupid like jump off the top rope. He KNOWS his opponents better than they know themselves. Once Drek Stone manages to get to his feet, albeit holding his head, he picks up the steel chair folded up nearby him. He picks it up and holds it in his hands, waiting for AJ to get up. Once the challenger manages to get to a standing position, Drek simply hurls the chair at him! The steel chair BOUNCES off AJ Flaire’s head, with the impact of it sending AJ falling back into the ringside barricade. Drek allows himself to smile as AJ finds himself dazed, only helped by the fact that the barricade is there to keep him standing. Drek then charges at AJ Flaire -- BUT GETS BACK-BODY DROPPED OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE CROWD!! COACH Well, will you look at that! AJ Flaire knows how to play possum too! COLE If there’s one place Drek Stone shouldn’t want to be right now, it’s with this crowd! Right after the back-body drop, AJ instinctively clutches his back once again, but takes his hand away as soon as he realizes what he’s doing. As Drek lays stunned on the floor, AJ swings his legs over the barricade to follow after him. A fan sitting nearby hands AJ his soft drink cup, begging him to use it. FAN Come on, man! USE IT! USE IT! AJ Wait! Wait………what kind of drink is this? FAN Mountain Dew. AJ Yes! Perfect! With the drink in his hand, AJ then stands over Drek’s body. AJ Drek, do you quit?! DO YOU QUIT?! Drek starts to pick himself off the floor, but keeping his eyes locked on AJ. DREK Kiss my ass, AJ! I’ll never quit! AJ Flaire then pours the entire drink over Drek’s head, prompting a wild reaction from the crowd. DREK Mountain Dew?! Oh, that’s disgusting! You’re SICK! Feeling such a vile liquid splash on his face, Drek finds himself compelled to stand up - and now. Meanwhile, another ringside fan hands AJ Flaire another object. This time, it looks to be a special-edition Hoff dogtag. AJ takes the chain, wraps it around his fist, and waits for Drek to stand. Once the Heavyweight Champion gets to a standing position, AJ Flaire WALLOPS him in the face with said dogtag! The impact of it sends Drek falling back over the barricade and near the ring again. CABOOSE Hoff dogtag?! Who would buy such a thing now?! Once Drek falls back on the other side, he starts trying to crawl away once again. This time, the camera catches a good glimpse of his face -- and finds it has been busted open by that chain shot just a moment ago. The fans “ooh” at seeing the violent gash opened along Drek’s forehead, but cheer as they see AJ climb over the barricade again. He picks Drek up off the floor and immediately hooks him into a cradle piledriver position. COLE Whoa! Could he be going for it?! CABOOSE No! No! Not on the outside of the ring! Don’t do this! The fans really start to buzz as AJ hooks Drek Stone up for That’s Phenomenal. Once he gets him in position, he waits for a moment to brace his strength. He then lifts Drek Stone up -- -- NO! Drek manages to pull his weight down and keep himself on the ground! The Heavyweight Champion then quickly breaks the grip, grabs AJ by his neck, and DRIVES him down to the floor with a flatliner! The crowd groans as Flaire’s head sickly bounces off the concrete. Right after the move, Drek sits up for a few moments and calmly wipes the blood out of his eyes. CABOOSE Did you see that impact?! I know I said this earlier, but NOW -- NOW is the time this match is ready to begin. As Drek starts to stand, he spots AJ instinctively nursing his back, but then quickly putting an end to it. COACH Uh oh. With a smile on his face, Drek nods in AJ’s direction. He then immediately runs forward and drops an elbow drop on AJ’s spine! The fans groan as AJ howls at the pain. Drek gets back up and drops another elbow drop quickly! And another one! And another! And another! After the fifth elbow drop, Drek stands up with a WIDE grin on his face. He then drops a SIXTH elbow drop on AJ Flaire’s back. Finally, he picks the challenger’s body up off the floor and rolls him into the ring. CABOOSE This thing is about to get really ugly. I can feel it. After rolling AJ Flaire back into the ring, Drek follows after him with the steel chair in his hand. AJ uses the ring ropes to pull himself back up as quickly as possible, but Drek is waiting. Standing right behind him. Once AJ’s up, Drek swings the chair and…. *CLANG* Hits AJ Flaire across the back with the steel chair! The crowd groans as Flaire’s body shakes and he simply sinks down onto his knees. Drek starts urging AJ to get back up again. Almost daring him to do so, Drek waits with the steel chair by his side. Finally, after a few moments of struggling, AJ Flaire moves back up to his feet. That’s when Drek picks up the chair again and… *CLANG* SMACKS AJ WITH THE CHAIR AGAIN! The force of this chairshot sends AJ falling into the ropes. With a cocky grin, Drek moves towards AJ and gives the challenger a well-placed slap to the face. He then takes Flaire’s arms, places them upon the top rope, and wraps the middle one over the top, effectively tying AJ in the ropes. COLE Oh, this isn’t good! Somebody needs to free AJ Flaire from this. And quickly! Drek Stone grabs his trusty steel chair and rolls to the outside. The fans really start booing as Drek steps behind AJ’s prone body with the chair in his hand. Although he isn’t supposed to, the referee starts making a valiant attempt to free AJ from his predicament. But Drek isn’t having any of it. From the outside of the ring, he swings the chair back and… *CLANG* CRACKS THE STEEL CHAIR AGAINST THE EXPOSED BACK OF AJ FLAIRE! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The force of that chairshot propels AJ’s body forward, freeing his arms and causing him to fall flat on his face in the ring. With a nod, Drek looks out at the crowd and slaps his chest arrogantly, really receiving their outrage in return. “DREK STONE SUCKS!” “DREK STONE SUCKS!” “DREK STONE SUCKS!” COLE That was uncalled for! CABOOSE I agree. This chant is simply awful! With AJ rolling around the ring, Drek tosses the chair over the top rope and rolls in after it. AJ rolls over to a nearby corner and sits up against the bottom turnbuckle. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Drek stands proud. Defiant. With his arms folded across his chest, the champion glances at his now-wounded challenger. DREK AJ….look at you. AJ Flaire takes a huge gulp of air and warily stares at his opponent. DREK Look at you. You’re nothing. You can’t compete anymore tonight. You can barely even walk! Drek slowly starts to walk towards AJ now. DREK So here’s what I’m going to do. A little proposition. You know you can’t beat me. I know you can’t beat me. Everyone here knows you can’t beat me. You wouldn’t have been able to do it in your prime. And you absolutely have no chance now. Drek methodically wipes the blood off his forehead as he continues to talk. DREK So this is the plan. Quit now. Quit right at this very moment, in front of all these people. And never come back. NEVER! COME! BACK! Let this be the last time I ever see you step foot in this federation. And I will let you limp away, still able to leave under your own power. Now standing directly in front of AJ Flaire, Drek Stone symbolically looks down at him. DREK But if you decide to continue this match -- if you decide to keep fighting -- that is it. I will have absolutely zero mercy for you. I will make it so you CAN’T walk out of here. You thought what Hoff did to your back last time was bad? Well, I’m bigger and badder than Hoff could ever hope to be! You will regret it for the rest of your life if you continue to fight. I promise you. So AJ, make your decision now. AJ wipes the sweat off his forehead but continues to stare at Drek, not wanting to take his eyes off him. DREK Make your decision now. This is all in your hands. Without saying a word, AJ places his hands on the top rope and uses it to pull himself back up to a standing position. Now standing face-to-face with Drek Stone, AJ stands before him solemnly. Still silent. DREK What are you going to do, AJ? Don’t be stupid. Make the right decision. AJ starts to slowly nod his head as a wide smile crosses Drek’s face. DREK I knew it. Oh, I knew it. Just say the words, AJ. Say it for me. The crowd waits anxiously for AJ to make his decision. AJ Fine, Drek. Fine. You want those two words? You want to hear them so bad? Well then, here you go. ….. AJ FUCK. YOU. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” AJ runs out of the corner and brings Drek Stone down with a HUGE clothesline! Drek Stone immediately pops back up afterwards and AJ brings him down with ANOTHER mighty clothesline! Once Drek gets back up after that, AJ gives him a kick to the midsection! He grabs him in a front facelock position -- AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A BIG DDT!! The fans roar as AJ holds onto Drek’s head following the DDT, locking him into a front face choke. COLE WHOA! THIS COULD BE IT, RIGHT NOW! CABOOSE NO! COME ON, DREK! GET OUT OF THIS! Drek tries pummeling Flaire’s ribs to get him to let up on the hold, but AJ only grabs a tighter grip of the hold and rocks back. Seething through his teeth, The Phenomenal One growls at his opponent. AJ You wanted ME to say it?! YOU SAY IT!! SAY IT, DREK!! SAY IT!! DREK Oh, you can KISS MY ASS, AJ! This inspires AJ Flaire to only tighten up on the front facelock even further. The cheers surging from the crowd only rise even further as Drek starts waving his hands, trying to get some kind of advantage. COACH DREK HAS TO QUIT! HE’S GOING TO QUIT RIGHT HERE! Drek starts getting a little weaker as AJ cinches up on the hold. His arms slowly start to fall to his side -- but in a last ditch effort, he rolls over and manages to roll into the ring ropes. He slides his legs out underneath the bottom rope and hook his feet against the apron. Drek then tries making a serious attempt to pull himself out of the ring -- but AJ just keeps clinging on! Finally, with one last serious pull, Drek pushes himself out of the ring! AJ DOES manage to hang on…..but as the two fall to the arena floor, the impact forces him to let go of the hold. CABOOSE Oh, thank god! Thank god! Immediately upon impact, Drek rolls over and starts massaging his neck. Wanting to get away from AJ as soon as possible, Drek tries rolling up onto his knees and back to his feet. Yet, there’s AJ waiting once again. He slips behind Drek and wraps him up in a sleeper hold! The crowd starts cheering as AJ jumps up onto Drek’s back and starts wrapping the hold in tighter. COLE AJ Flaire is doing anything he can to get Drek Stone to quit -- and quick! Drek tries ripping AJ’s arms away from his neck, but isn’t finding too much luck in doing so. So, Drek winds up doing the only thing he can do. He runs towards the corner post and turns his back to it -- sending AJ Flaire back-first into the post instead! The crowd lets out a collective sigh as AJ releases the hold and falls off Drek’s body to the ground. COACH And there goes Drek Stone targeting the back again. CABOOSE Well, what the hell else is he supposed to do?! This is smart! Afterwards, Drek Stone leans himself against the barricade and starts taking deep breaths. Finally, after resting for a moment, he picks AJ Flaire up off the floor and rolls him back into the ring, following after him. Nursing one hand on his back, AJ tries crawling away, but Drek simply walks easily after him. COLE Drek Stone is stalking AJ Flaire. That’s all he’s doing! After allowing AJ to waste his energy crawling for a few seconds, Drek grabs a nice handful of his hair and forces him back up. Drek then slips to the side of AJ Flaire, lifts him up and -- “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” --drops him across his knee with a NASTY backbreaker! AJ begins screaming in loud pain and tries to roll away, but Drek keeps a solid hold of his opponent. Still holding onto AJ, he moves back up to his feet and walks around the ring for a second. He then drops down and -- “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” --gets him with ANOTHER backbreaker! Through AJ Flaire’s screams, Drek picks him up again. And -- -- another backbreaker!! He picks him up a FOURTH time and…. *BAM* -- yet another backbreaker!! Finally, after this one, Drek allows AJ to fall to the mat. The challenger immediately lets out a deafening scream and clutches at his back anxiously. COLE Oh, I shudder to think about what Drek Stone might have just done to AJ Flaire’s back there. CABOOSE It’s a backbreaker, Cole. What do you think he could have done? AJ tries rolling around the ring, but Drek charges at him… …AND DROPS A KNEE ACROSS THE SPINE OF AJ FLAIRE! AJ lets out another loud scream and starts rolling across the mat without an actual purpose. Drek rolls back up, runs forward…. …AND DROPS ANOTHER KNEE ACROSS AJ FLAIRE’S BACK! The crowd, feeling a deep sense of empathy for AJ’s situation, moans along with him as he screams in pain. COACH This is…..this is awful. AJ Flaire can’t continue like this. CABOOSE So let him quit! He can end this anytime he wants! Content with seeing AJ really hurting, Drek takes this opportunity to step outside the ring. Despite the fans hurling insults at him, the champion simply ignores them and tries looking under the ring apron. After a few seconds, Drek pulls something out from underneath the apron and holds it up for the crowd. COACH Oh no! COLE It’s a Singapore cane! Who would put a Singapore cane underneath the ring?! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” With the cane in his hand, Drek slides back into the ring and stands over AJ Flaire. Looking triumphant already, the champion starts twirling the stick in his hand, smiling over the entire situation. DREK AJ, this is it. I gave you the chance before to quit before I really hurt you. Now comes the pain. You can end it all if you say those two simple words. Drek lifts the Singapore cane high above his head. DREK Just say them. He SWINGS THE CANE DOWN -- BUT AJ CATCHES HIM WITH A PUNCH TO THE MIDSECTION! Drek doubles over for a second, which allows AJ the chance to run forward and bring him down with a VICIOUS SHINING WIZARD!! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” COACH WHOA!! COLE AJ FLAIRE -- OUT OF NOWHERE -- WITH HIS TRUSTED SHINING WIZARD!! HOW DID HE DO IT?! Both men hit the ground after the move, with AJ Flaire obviously nursing his back, trying to will himself through this thing. COLE AJ Flaire will keep fighting! He won’t give up! COACH Well, Cole, if AJ won’t give up -- and Drek has made the promise that HE won’t give up -- how exactly will this match end? CABOOSE Oh, AJ will quit. He WILL quit. While Drek rolls around the ring holding his head, AJ starts using the ring ropes to pull himself up. Once he gets to his feet, he sees Drek Stone is still relatively stunned. Without wasting time, AJ walks over to a nearby turnbuckle and starts scaling it. Wincing with each growing pain in his back, AJ continues to climb the post until he gets to the top. COACH Why won’t he learn?! WHY DOES HE KEEP DOING THIS?! COLE This IS AJ Flaire! Always willing to take risks -- to take chances -- to pull the match out! He’s willing to do absolutely ANYTHING to win tonight. And folks, you really do just have to respect that. Perched upon the top rope, AJ waits for Drek Stone to fully stand up. But Drek, actually spotting AJ out of the corner of his eye, grabs a nearby Singapore cane and holds it in his grasp. Dizzily, the Heavyweight Champion finally manages to stand up -- but he turns and dashes forward to AJ. AND HE CRACKS THE SINGAPORE CANE OVER HIS HEAD!! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The crowd lets out a huge cry as AJ grabs his forehead and tumbles off the turnbuckle to the mat. COLE Oh no! Somebody should end this thing now! CABOOSE AJ can end it, Cole! He can end it himself! COLE He won’t. He has too much pride! CABOOSE Well, who’s fault is it if that pride costs him the ability to walk? Or the ability to see?! It’s not Drek Stone’s fault, I’ll tell you that! Drek Stone holds the Singapore cane high above his head as AJ rolls around on the mat, holding his head. Once he takes his hands off, the crowd can see that his forehead has now been brutally mangled thanks to that cane. Blood immediately starts to drip out of his forehead at an alarming rate, and Drek is loving every minute of it. DREK Come on, AJ. Say the words. Say them. AJ starts to stir a little bit and begins to roll over onto his side. COLE My god. How is he still able to go on like this?! Drek, looking absolutely shocked that AJ is starting to move onto his knees, lifts the cane above his head. DREK You don’t want to learn, do you? You just don’t want to learn? Well, here then. And Drek Stone swings the cane down! *CRACK!* The sound of wood hitting flesh echoes throughout the entire building! AJ screams and arches his back immediately as Drek twirls the cane in his hand. COACH Come on, AJ. This isn’t worth it anymore. It just isn’t. DREK Quit, AJ. Just quit. Say them. AJ Flaire, with fire in his eyes, looks up at Drek Stone defiantly. With blood starting to pour down his face, AJ spits a loogie into Drek’s face. The crowd bursts at such an action. “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” DREK How dare you! You piece of garbage! Drek lifts the cane up above his head again and… *CRACK!* Once again cracks it over AJ Flaire’s back. Just as before, AJ screams out in extreme pain and puts a hand against his back to alleviate the pain. DREK SAY IT!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE, AJ!! SAY THE DAMN WORDS!! AJ simply shows Drek Stone the middle finger. AJ Fuck. Off. “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Drek’s eyes immediately widen at AJ’s defiance and a sudden scowl creeps across his face. He lifts the cane up above his head and… *CRACK!* *CRACK!* *CRACK!* *CRACK!* COLE FOUR CONSECUTIVE SINGAPORE CANE SHOTS TO AJ FLAIRE‘S BACK! SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STOP THIS! With hurt in his eyes, AJ looks out at the crowd before falling face-first onto the mat. Unlike the AJ Flaire chants before, a new chant starts to rise up from the crowd. But this one is more subdued. Quieter, somehow. “PLEASE JUST QUIT!” “PLEASE JUST QUIT!” “PLEASE JUST QUIT!” But just as quickly, AJ starts pushing himself back off the mat with his arms. Despite the brutal welts across his back, despite the blood gushing out of his forehead, despite the fact that he’s been through more punishment in the past few minutes than any man deserves to be: AJ Flaire just keeps going. DREK You still won’t quit? STILL?! Once again, Drek lifts the cane up and… *CRACK!* …drives it across the back of AJ Flaire once more! COLE Come on, AJ. Just end it. CABOOSE AJ, Drek isn’t going to get tired of delivering those cane shots. Just end the damned match already. Noticing that AJ Flaire is still not willing to quit, Drek has finally had enough. He throws the cane down at his feet and steps outside the ring. Seeing the steel chair that was so popularly used before, he picks it up and throws it back into the ring. Following after it, Drek then symbolically unfolds the chair and places it in the center of the ring. Meanwhile, AJ lays in the center of the ring, still gasping for air. COACH Now what could Drek be planning to do with that? CABOOSE He’s going to make AJ say I-Quit. And that is ALL there is to it. Drek stares at the chair sitting in the ring for a second, then turns his attention to AJ Flaire. With the blood starting to dry around his eyes, Drek rubs his forehead to see if he could stop it from bleeding anymore. He then slowly starts to pry AJ off the mat. Flaire, with all the gashes now laced across his body, tries pushing his weight down, but it isn’t working. Drek finally gets AJ to stand -- but in a last ditch effort, AJ ROCKS Drek back with a BIG European Uppercut! COLE HOW?! Finding his opponent stunned for the moment, AJ quickly hooks him up in a cradle position. CABOOSE NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL!! The fans roar as AJ picks Drek Stone up… ….AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH THAT’S PHENOMENAL!!! COLE OH MY GOD!! COACH THAT REALLY WAS PHENOMENAL!! Suddenly, the crowd has been invigorated! They start chanting his name once more. “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” COLE Suddenly the entire complexion of the match has changed! CABOOSE I…..I will never know how AJ Flaire just did that! DAMMIT! With adrenaline seemingly driving AJ Flaire at this point, he begins inching his way over to the ring ropes. Slowly, but surely, he starts using the ropes to pull himself back up to his feet. Meanwhile, Drek Stone is still laying on the mat, out cold. Once AJ Flaire gets fully back up, struggling the entire way, he spots the Singapore Cane laying near his feet. A smile crosses on his face like it’s Christmas morning, and his eyes start to glitter as he picks the cane up off the mat. Meanwhile, finally, Drek starts to stir. Like AJ earlier, Drek starts using the ropes to get himself up. Once he manages to get to his feet, Drek turns around so…. *CRACK* AJ FLAIRE COULD HIT HIM IN THE RIBS WITH THE SINGAPORE CANE!! CABOOSE NO! COME ON, AJ! COLE Turnabout is fair play! Drek Stone immediately doubles over, holding his ribs, as AJ stands before him with the cane in his hand. Literally sporting a crimson mask now, AJ scowls at Drek angrily, then steps back once again. *CRACK!* AJ FLAIRE HITS DREK STONE WITH THE CANE ONCE MORE! Once again, Drek Stone bends over to grab his side. This time, AJ takes the opportunity to bounce off the ropes with the cane in his hand. Once he bounces back, he swings the weapon…. …..but Drek scoops him up in a spinebuster position….. ….AND DROPS HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE STANDING STEEL CHAIR!!! COLE NO!!!!!! CABOOSE Oh my god! COLE OH, NO!!! NO!!!!! COACH We need some help! The fans immediately hush as Drek Stone stands before a prone AJ Flaire. Following the spinebuster, the chair is a completely mangled mess. The legs have been bent in different directions, the seat has broken away from the skeleton of the chair -- and on top of it all is the wounded body of AJ Flaire. Upon this steel wreckage is a human being. A human being that has been through this all before. COLE I can’t believe it! The same move that took AJ Flaire out of commission for so long last time! COACH Guys….I really think AJ Flaire’s back could be broken again. COLE Well, thank god somebody has decided to send the EMTs out here. Sure enough, a wide barrage of medical personnel and ring agents start rushing to the ring to attend to the challenger. Two EMTs immediately bow near AJ’s head to check the condition of his neck, while two other paramedics do their best to clear out the wreckage of the steel chair. COLE Folks, this is just…..this is just awful. I don’t know what to say. Two more paramedics rush down to ringside with a stretcher and position themselves on the outside of the ring. Meanwhile, inside the ring is Drek Stone -- and he’s looking none too happy. DREK What the hell is everybody doing out here? YO! Drek grabs the collar of one paramedic attending to AJ and forces him up to his feet. DREK What do you think you’re doing? The paramedic, clearly intimidated, tries reasoning with the Heavyweight Champion. PARAMEDIC Mr. Stone, this man needs attending to right away. With his preexisting conditions, he could have just broken his back once again. He needs medical attention and quickly. Drek, shaking his head in disbelief, stares down the paramedic. DREK He didn’t say the words yet. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” DREK Boo me all you want, but this son of a bitch didn’t say the words yet! And he isn’t getting ANY MEDICAL TREATMENT UNTIL HE DOES SO! PARAMEDIC Mr. Stone, he really needs…. DREK NOT UNTIL HE SAYS THOSE WORDS!!! With his hand still on the collar of the paramedic, Drek then grabs him and tosses him over the top rope. The fans gasp accordingly as Drek yanks up another EMT official and spikes him into the mat with the STONECUTTER! COLE NO! NO! WHAT IS HE DOING?! CABOOSE Drek….what the hell?! COACH He’s a madman! Plain and simple! Once Drek brings that paramedic down with the StoneCutter, all the other officials scatter out of the ring before they get beat as well. Meanwhile, AJ is beginning to twitch among the wreckage of the steel chair. With a sadistic smile, Drek Stone grabs the legs of AJ Flaire and turns him over into a Boston Crab. COLE He couldn’t be…..how could he POSSIBLY keep going with this match? AJ immediately starts howling once turned over, but Drek isn’t done yet. Placing one knee on the spine of AJ, Drek then rocks back on the hold, bending the spine of his opponent at an almost improbable angle. COACH AJ FLAIRE NEEDS SOME HELP NOW! AJ starts screaming for dear life as Drek wrenches back on the hold, but no one can run in to help him. The Heavyweight Champion starts pulling back on the submission even more, driving his knee even further into the spine of AJ Flaire. With a desperate cry in his screams, AJ tries anything to get out of this submission, but it is utterly inescapable. With wide-eyed determination, Drek continues to pull back on the hold, relishing in hearing the yells from the Phenomenal One. COLE JUST SAY IT, AJ! JUST SAY IT! With AJ’s back continuing to bend at an impossible angle, he really has no other alternative. DREK SAY IT, AJ!! SAY IT!! Through clenched teeth, AJ Flaire starts to speak. AJ I……… But Drek interrupts him, obviously cherishing this predicament. DREK SAY IT!!! SAY IT NOW!!! AJ ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! With his screams echoing through the frigid air of Toronto, AJ finally has no choice. AJ ….I QUIT!! I QUIT!!! *DING! DING! DING!* Immediately after hearing AJ Flaire say those two magic words, Drek Stone releases the hold and falls to his knees in celebration. COLE I can’t believe him! He’s…..he’s a monster! CABOOSE He earned it tonight, Cole! He earned every aspect of this victory tonight! The referee, looking quite annoyed with Drek Stone at the present moment, hands him his Heavyweight Championship. Drek eagerly snatches the title away and holds it up to the crowd, who reign down upon him with an EXTREME amount of boos. CABOOSE What the hell? Why is everyone so angry with Drek Stone?! COACH Look what he did tonight! He might have fully ended AJ Flaire’s career for good! CABOOSE AJ Flaire shouldn’t even have been in the ring tonight! He shouldn’t have…. COLE THAT SUBMISSION AT THE END WAS UNCALLED FOR! THE MATCH WAS GOING TO BE OVER ALREADY! HOW COULD YOU EVEN DEFEND HIM?! CABOOSE YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! Drek WARNED AJ of what might happen if he continued with this! You want to blame anyone?! Blame AJ Flaire! The paramedics immediately run past Drek Stone and go to help out AJ Flaire. Three ring agents quickly move up to Drek Stone and demand he leave the ring immediately. Instead of moving right away, Drek looks at AJ Flaire’s prone body with a blank look on his face. Then, surprisingly enough, he actually does the peaceful thing and walks out of the ring. COACH That was the one decent thing he did tonight! The only decent thing! Holding the Heavyweight Belt over his right shoulder, Drek starts backing up the ramp, keeping his eyes locked on the action in the ring. Ring officials and EMTs continue to run past him and slide into the ring, trying to help AJ as quickly as possible. Once Drek gets to the top of the ramp, he stares out at the crowd who are still violently booing him. CABOOSE Say what you want. Drek Stone is STILL the Heavyweight Champion! He made AJ Flaire scream “I Quit”! Something nobody here expected him to do! He managed to hold onto his belt! And, in the process, looks a HELL of a lot tougher to boot! COLE Some things are more important than a wrestling match, Caboose. Some lines you just don’t cross. And let me tell you, Drek Stone crossed one of those lines tonight. Drek finally raises the title belt up for the audience, who continue to jeer him unmercifully. He points at himself excitedly, then walks through the curtains and to the back. We slowly fade away into an advertisement as the officials continue to check on AJ’s condition and start to load him onto a stretcher.

The camera cuts to OAOAST President Bill Watts' office. Bill is sitting in his chair watching Anglepalooza, when a knock is heard. BILL WATTS Come in. The door opens, and Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican appear. The crowd boos loudly. Watts has a disgusted look on his face. P.R. is in his ring attire while Popick is wearing a black sweatsuit. The two men stand next to Watts. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Billy! Billy Boy! William! Dude! Wassup?! WATTS Oh dear. What do you want? P.R. Oh not much. World peace. Puerto Rico becoming it's own country. Skye Sweetnam being by my side 24 hours a day seven days a week serving my *every* need. Oh, and a spot in the Royal Rumble Match tonight! WATTS So, this is why you viciously attacked Panther last Thursday? SJP My, you catch on quick. Yes, MY CORPORATE CHAMPION attacked that scrub last Thursday for a spot in the Rumble. Come on. Think about it. Who deserves to be in the Rumble more? The dude who just *barely* missed a chance at gaining a World Title shot in a Ladder Match, or the dude who has been in jail for the past 8 months, his career delayed because of a simple misunderstanding? Come on. Panther has had several shots at becoming World Champion before. But not P.R., and DEFINTLEY not in the past 8 months. I think it's only fair that P.R. replace Panther in the Rumble tonight. THA PUERTO RICAN That's right. So, tell me Watts. What's my number going to be? #5? #10? #15? WATTS Actually, you're NOT in the Rumble match. The crowd cheers. P.R. is shocked as is Popick. POPICK Could you say that to me again? WATTS I said, that you're not actually in the Rumble. All the spots have been filled. P.R. What? What are you talking about? Did you see HeldDOWN~! last Thursday? I TOOK OUT PANTHER. He is OUT of the Rumble! I injured him! WATTS Yes, he is hurt. But he still insists on being in the Rumble. So, he's still in the Rumble, and therefore, all the spots have been filled. I'm sorry, but you'll have to try next year. POPICK Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't think you understand. P.R. NEEDS to be in the Royal Rumble! He HAS TO BE IN IT! (To himself): Not only because I need someone to watch my back and elimanate himself so that I could win the rumble, (loudly): but because he is the CORPORATE CHAMPION! My handpicked CORPORATE CHAMPION in fact! It is his DESTINY to be in the Royal Rumble! He has to be in it! Tha Puerto Rican is the FUTURE of the OAOAST! There is nobody in the company that has his talent, his intelligence, his charisma. P.R. is the total package, and for him to not be in the Rumble would be a crime! So, please Billy Boy. Bill. Put P.R. in the Rumble! P.R.'s presence in the Rumble will make our Royal Rumble 1,000 times better than that *other* company's Royal Rumble. WATTS I'm sorry, Stephen. But the 15 Royal Rumble spots have already been filled. All the wrestlers competing in the Rumble are here. POPICK But is anybody unable to compete? WATTS Well, Panther is hurt, so his chances of competing in the Rumble are 50/50. POPICK Hurt, huh? WATTS I'm afraid so. The attack your friend here did to him, plus competing in the X-Division Championship match earlier really took a toll on him. POPICK Ah, so he may not even be in the Rumble at all? WATTS Well, hopefully, he'll get better, but there is a chance might not compete. POPICK Say. If Panther doesn't compete, would it be possible that you can insert PRL into his spot? WATTS Well, I believe so. POPICK HA! There we go! P.R. you're in the Rumble! WATTS Wait. I didn't say it was definite! All I said was that if Panther is unable to compete in the Rumble, then Tha Puerto Rican will take his place. It is NOT a guarantee though. Panther has fought with injuries before. So this isn't anything new to him. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Save me that inspirational crap. The fact of the matter is that I am defintley going to be in the Royal Rumble tonight! Because there is no way, and I mean NO WAY, that Panther is going to be in it, considering what I did to him last Thursday! HA! HA! HA! I am SO in! This is great! Okay, I got what I wanted let's go Popick! POPICK Thank You, Bill. You have done a great job for once. P.R.: AngleMania IV, here I come! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick leave the office. The crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Bill Watts just sits there, sighs, and gets back to watching Anglepalooza. Cut back to Sofa Central with Triple C~! MICHAEL COLE Tha Puerto Rican is so full of himself. CABOOSE Now come on. P.R. is a terrific wrestler, why shouldn't he be so certain that Panther will not compete in the Lethal Rumble tonight? COLE Because P.R. forgets that Panther has heart. Panther has courage. Panther has overcome obstacles before, why shouldn't this be any different? CABOOSE Because Panther hasn't felt the wrath of Tha Puerto Rican, until last Thursday. Please, Panther may have heart, but he doesn't have the talent that Tha Puerto Rican has. P.R.'s spot in the Rumble is sealed. COACH Tha Puerto Rican should be careful though. His overconfidence may come back and bite him in the ass. CABOOSE Oh would you stop being so negative! P.R. is going to be in the Royal Rumble tonight, and he is going to win it, and he is going to go to AngleMania IV, and become OAOAST World Champion. COLE Well, what about what Stephen Joseph said earlier? That P.R. isn't suppose to win the Rumble. He's only in the Rumble to make sure Popick wins it. CABOOSE Oh yeah. Well, Popick knows what he's doing. And P.R. is smart. He knows that Popick is the key to future sucess. I'm sure that he's going to be fine with eliminating himself. He knows that he'll get his shot soon. COLE Well, if I were PRL, I'd have a hard time trusting Popick. Popick isn't exactly an angel. CABOOSE Popick is an angel. He's a honest, gracious, human being, who looks out for his friends. COACH Hmmm. If you say so. One only knows what's next in this little saga unfolding tonight at Anglepalooza. CABOOSE This is just the beginning of a great year for Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick! 2005 will be the year of Tha Puerto Rican! And Stephen Joseph Popick. Classical music. The camera pans across a beautifully decorated mansion, leading to... TRUMP Hello, I'm Donald Trump, owner and CEO of OAOAST Entertainment, Inc., and I'm here to tell you about AngleMania IV. (Shots of Trump Plaza and Casino) TRUMP (V.O.) The epitome of parody wrestling e-federation major events is coming to my Plaza and Casino in Atlantic City, the most gorgeous casino in the most gorgeous city in New England. Back to Trump TRUMP Join me, won't you, in experiencing the most spectacular event in OAOAST history. And yes, someone will be... Close-Up: Trump TRUMP FIRED! ANGLEMANIA IV March 27, 2005 The classiest, most luxurious, Trump-tastic AngleMania ever!

COACH Yo, guys, that Women's Title match was off da HOOK! CABOOSE "Off da hook?" Am I sitting to Tazz all of the sudden? TAZZ OFF DA CHAIN!! CABOOSE Wait, WHAT?! Where'd you come from?!? TAZZ Uh.... Security escorts Tazz out of the building and back to the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, probably. CABOOSE Actually, he's one of my favorite announcers. Better than you two, anyway. COLE Hey! CABOOSE Heh. COLE Well in any event we've had a wild night here. That great women's match, as the Coach mentioned, as well as new tag team champs. But up next is going to be one sick, vicious match: the steel cage match between Hoff and Chris Stevens. COACH Yeah, this is gonna be one hell of a match, and you see the crew lowering the cage now. We're going with the old-school, throwback style, as you see the classic blue bars, the cage that has seen so many great matches over the years. CABOOSE Absolutely. Who could forget the classic matches with guys like Bret and Owen Hart, Sting -- COACH I hear he's your boyfrie*smack*OW!! CABOOSE -- Ric Flair, Vader, Shawn Michaels, I mean, just so many great stars have waged war in that classic cage, and we could be poised for another great one tonight. COLE This issue of course goes way back, back all the way to Hoff's beginnings as a professional in Minnesota. CABOOSE Hoff and Stevens immediately developed a rivalry that nearly tore the Minneapolis scene apart! COLE From there, it was on to the WWE, our own rivals, where the two almost buried the hatchet. COACH Right, but as I know, the WWE has erased nearly all traces of their stay there from record! What happened is anyone's guess! COLE From there, they took their rivalry overseas, to Japan, and after some great matches abroad, both men found their way here to the OAOAST! CABOOSE Two very different careers, but each has been at the other's throat the entire time, and this may be the culmination, as one of these men might not make it out of here! COLE There's a lot of pent-up emotion in this match, and we will see that emotion let out here tonight. CABOOSE Well, Cole, for seemingly the past six months, it has seemed like Chris Stevens has been the agressor in this feud. Now, finally, Hoff has stepped up and started fighting, putting Stevens on the defensive. COLE Hoff said it earlier tonight, "I hope you have your running shoes, because I am very, very angry." COACH Well when you've been through a career-threatening injury, you tend to be a little pissed at the guy who gave it to ya. COLE We all know the history. It culminates tonight at Anglepalooza. Caboose, take us to your keys to victory. CABOOSE Gladly. If Hoff wants to win this match, it's real simple. He needs to stay angry. Hoff has been on the shelf for a long time, but he looked good taking out Stevens' hitman Jumbo a couple weeks back. He's crisp, he's clean, and he's not showing any signs of ring rust. If he can stay focused tonight, he might -- sadly -- be able to tear Chris Stevens limb from limb. COLE And what about Stevens, what should his game plan be? CABOOSE Chris Stevens needs to do the things he's been doing all along. He needs to stay quick, stay on his feet, and stay AWAY from Hoff. If Stevens plays a smart match, capitalizing on his opponent's mistakes like he's known for, he might be able to outlast Hoff. Neither of these men are in the Rumble match later tonight, but endurance is definitely a key. The man who can take the biggest beating will probably come out on top. The other guy might not come out at all. COLE There you have it, folks, so let's take it to Michael Buffer at ringside! The cameras cut to the ring, with the steel cage in place. Referee Charles Robinson is in the ring, while Billy Silverman stands at the cage door with lock and key in hand. Michael Buffer, due to the rather large cage-shaped object, stands behind the ring, near the announce table. Err, couch. You know what I mean. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. It is now time for our STEEL CAAAAAAAAGE ATTRACTION!!! The audience cheers-- but the cheers swing violently to boos as Chris Stevens' familiar theme song kicks in! BUFFER Introducing first, from Rochester, Minnesota, and weighing in tonight at 220 pounds... He is an eight-year veteran of the sport, a man whose star has risen in the OAOAST, headlining shows across the nation. A technical master, and a true battle-scarred warrior. Ladies and gentlemen, CHRRRRRR-IS STEEEEEE-VENS!!!!!!! Stevens walks down the aisle, trying to ignore the fans, but, spying a large "Future Shock Him Hoff!" sign, Stevens stops to trade barbs with the sign's schoolaged author. COLE So there we see Chris Stevens, who looks a little on edge! COACH Well DAYUM, Mikey, I would be too! After all Hoff has said and done lately, I'd-- CABOOSE YOU'D wet the bed. Chris Stevens is a seasoned professional, and he's going to show us all that he's not afraid of Hoff. COLE That remains to be seen! CABOOSE Ah, piss off, Cole. Stevens points a finger at the eight-year-old fan as he walks off, before looking up and taking a big, deep breath. Stevens swallows as he looks over the cage, then walks up the ring steps and through the cage door. The boos are all but deafening as Stevens tests the cage's give, as well as the ropes. COLE Stevens is at the height of his dispopularity. CABOOSE These fans don't know talent. COLE They know what this man did! CABOOSE Bollocks! Hoff did the same thing to the man challenging for the World Title tonight! AJ got over it, and if that sissy can get over the injury, Hoff can too. Man, he used to be such a badass... COLE He's a changed man, no doubt about it. The lights come up briefly as Stevens' theme song fades out...replaced by the arena going black. CUE: "Black" The fans hit their feet!! The opening riff blares and... BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* Fireworks go off, and the arena goes CRAZY as Hoff steps onto the stage!! COLE HERE HE IS!!! Hoff steps through the curtain and onto the stage as his hard rock, heavy-metal theme fills the air. The fans are BESIDE themselves, giving the big man one amazing standing O. CABOOSE I hate these people... Hoff looks left, then looks right, then waves the people up, turning this crowd EVEN LOUDER!! Buffer's voice is barely audible over all the noise... BUFFER And his opponent this evening. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, and weighing in at 275 pounds...he has come back from a career-threatening injury to get his revenge. The Uncrowned Heavyweight Champion of the World, here is.....HOFFF!!!!!!!! COLE LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!! Hoff walks down to the aisle, keeping his eyes focused on Chris Stevens, who stands in the cage, looking on with a very unreadable expression on his face. Hoff steps through the cage door and into the ring, stopping and staring Stevens down, leveling a finger at him...before scaling the corner of the cage!! CABOOSE Where's he off to now? Hoff climbs up the blue bars and gets almost to the top of the cage, leaning on the steel at about waist-level. Hoff looks out at the crowd, and throws his fist into the air, letting out a guttural yell, driving the fans MAD!! The Hoff chant breaks out, audible over the very-loud theme music. COACH Guys, this is totally insane. Hoff has these people BUMPIN'! CABOOSE He's gonna have Chris Stevens bumping soon, that's what I worry about. Hoff climbs down after soaking the reaction in, hopping down to the turnbuckles and then to the floor. The arena lights come up as Hoff's theme dies down, and referee Robinson waves the two men together. COLE Now for those of you watching at home who haven't seen a cage match before, the rules are simple. There are no countouts, no disqualifications... The referee explains the rules to both Stevens and Hoff, while Cole does the same for the millions of fans at home. COLE There is also no time limit in this particular match. There's three ways to win... Robinson checks Hoff for illegal objects, and finds none. COLE As per a standard match, you can win via pinfall or submission... Robinson checks Stevens for foreign objects and comes up empty as well, although that certainly doesn't mean they're not there. You know how referees are with heels. Oblivious. COLE Or, one of the competitors can escape from the cage, either through the door or over the top, and land on the floor with both feet touching. Now, the door will be locked, but a competitor can request it to be opened if and only if he's sufficiently incapacitated his opponent. CABOOSE You think the simps at home got all that? COLE Be nice. The referee takes a step back, looks at both competitors, and calls for the bell. *ding ding ding ding ding* COACH Awwwww yeah-uh! Here we go boys!! The bell rings, and the two men stay still, staring at each other for one brief moment...before Hoff CHARGES at Stevens to a HUGE pop! Stevens quickly spins and runs, heading for the cage wall! Stevens hops onto the steel, grabbing at it, but Hoff reaches him and grabs him by the hair, YANKING him down and off the steel! The fans go BANANA as Hoff ROARS for Stevens to get up! Stevens holds his head for a brief second, before crawling away and hopping to his feet! CABOOSE My man Stevens looks awfully quick tonight... COACH Good thing for him. Stevens again makes a mad dash for the cage, but as soon as he reaches the wall, Hoff grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around! Stevens turns, right into a HUGE right hand from Hoff! Stevens' jaw snaps backwards, and he stumbles into the ropes. Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair and runs across the ring with him, flinging him full-tilt into the cage! Stevens hits the steel FACE-FIRST and falls like dead weight, landing throat-first acorss the bottom rope, snapping backwards, and landing in a heap in the mat. COACH DAYUM~! Stevens barely stirs before Hoff yanks him to his feet by the hair! Hoff drags Stevens to the near wall, rears back, and RAMS Stevens' face into the cage! Hoff lets go, and Stevens staggers violently backwards, falling onto his rear end and clutching at his face. Stevens looks up to see an angry Hoff stalking towards him, and he scuttles backwards before quickly getting to his feet and making a run for it! Stevens gets to the corner and hops up, but Hoff grabs him by the arm from behind and THROWS him off, sending him down HARD from the corner onto his back! Stevens' back arches in pain as the fans cheer! Hoff looks down at Stevens for a breif moment, before picking him back up. Hoff raises Stevens to his full height, rears back, and CLOBERS Stevens with a HUGE right hand that sends him back down!! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" COLE These fans are with Hoff on every blow! CABOOSE This isn't good, this is not good.... Hoff waves Stevens up as the veteran grappler tries to find his bearings. Stevens finally gets to his hands and knees, facing away from Hoff, and begins to crawl. Finding the ropes, Stevens climbs up, getting to his feet. Stevens supports himself on the ropes, leaning, breathing heavy, before turning around... *WHAM* ...into a HUGE right hand from Hoff!! Stevens falls down, collapsing into the ropes, half-seated on the bottom strand. Stevens falls on his ass, hitting the mat, and Hoff bends down to grab him by the hair...but Stevens snaps a kick to the right kneecap of Hoff, sending the big man down with a yowl of pain. The fans let Stevens have it... "BOOOOOOOOO" The jeers don't seem to faze Stevens, though, as he uses the ropes to pull himself up. Stevens takes a moment to clear his head, shaking the cobwebs free, before looking down at Hoff, who is clutching his knee with a severe grimace on his face. Stevens slowly smiles a sick smile... COLE Uh-oh. It looks like Stevens may have found a weakness. COACH We knew he was gonna test that knee of Hoff, and now I guess we'll see how healed he is! CABOOSE I hear he was rehabbing with that Terrell Owens. They're both whiny bitches. COLE Will you stop. Stevens stalks over to Hoff, pacing around the downed big man. Stevens smirks before leveling a HARD thrusting stomp to the knee, causing Hoff to cry out in pain. The fans boo as Hoff rolls over, away from Stevens, who paces around Hoff. Stevens begins shouting obscneities at Hoff, who tries valiantly to hop up. Stevens waits until Hoff is almost to a vertical base...then SNAPS off a soccer kick to the back of the knee, sending Hoff right back down. COACH This is looking like bad news for the Hoffstepper. COLE Hoff electing not to wear any extra protection beyond his standard kneepads, which could prove to be a costly mistake. Hoff lands on his stomach, and pulls his right leg closer to him. Stevens laughs cynically before grabbing Hoff's hair, pulling the big man up limping. Stevens grabs Hoff by the leg, and torques him over with a dragon screw legwhip, sending Hoff down with a cry. Stevens rolls back up to his feet and laughs at his own actions, drawing a big jeer from the Toronto crowd. Stevens walks over to Hoff and picks him up, scoops him, and slams the big man down. Stevens wastes no time grabbing the right leg of the prone Hoff, lifting it up and driving a kick straight to the kneecap. Hoff twists in pain, flinging his leg away from Stevens' grasp. Stevens grabs the leg again, turning Hoff back onto his back, and lays the leg on the ground, then delivers a double stomp to the side of the injured knee, causing Hoff to SCREAM in pain. Hoff rolls over onto his stomach, causing the malevolent Stevens to laugh again. "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" Stevens waves Hoff off, dismissing the big man as he tries to get to his feet. Stevens calls out for referee Billy Sliverman on the outside, asking that the door be opened. The ref obliges, swinging the steel door open. COLE Stevens is gonna win this thing in a walk! I can't believe it! CABOOSE Believe it, baby. Stevens smiles, takes a step toward the door, and suddenly gets PLOWED from behind by a lunging Hoff! COACH WHOA! COLE Where'd he come from?! Hoff dives to stop Stevens, tackling him from behind. Hoff quickly grabs his knee before shifting his arm up, clawing at Stevens' face. The referee, looking on, closes the cage door, locking the two men in once again. Stevens crawls away from Hoff, kicking him in the face as he escapes. Stevens hops to his feet and meets Hoff, who again tries to get up. Stevens, scowling, pulls Hoff up...and Hoff nails him in the gut with a big right forearm! Stevens doubles over, and now Hoff gets to his feet! Favoring his right side slightly, Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair and drives a BIG fist into his face, sending him into the ropes! Stevens bounces off, and Hoff grabs him by the throat and THROWS him to the center of the ring! The fans go wild as Hoff lands on his left knee, his right leg giving out. Hoff quickly gets back up, shaking out his right leg in an attempt to get it working again. COLE There's some fight left in Hoff yet! Stevens gets back up and storms toward Hoff, who grabs him in a collar and elbow tie-up. Hoff turns and uses his weight to drive Stevens into the corner. The ref calls for the break, and Hoff steps back, but then drives a shoulder into the ribcage of Stevens! Hoff steps back, grabbing at his knee, then ducks down again and drives the shoulder into Stevens a second time! COLE Hoff slowing the pace down here, trying to work his type of match. Hoff again drives the shoulder into Stevens, doubling Stevens over. Hoff stands up slowly, with a slight grimace, then grabs Stevens by the arm and whips him cross-corner. Stevens lands in the far buckle with a thud, and Hoff slowly walks across the ring after him, allowing Stevens time to regain his composure and send a dropkick at Hoff...but the big man sidesteps and Stevens hits the mat! Hoff's knee buckles as he dodges, but he manages to keep his footing. Stevens lands on his back, grimacing in pain before he rolls over onto his knees. Stevens gets up, but Hoff is right there, grabbing Stevens by the shoulders and throwing him into the side of the cage! From out of nowhere, Hoff CHARGES and SANDIWCHES Stevens with a big clothesline! Hoff smashes Stevens into the wall, then falls to the side, holding his knee yet again. Stevens crumples, the wind seemingly knocked out of him. COACH That knee of Hoff is barely holding up, but it is holding! CABOOSE Sure, but for how long? Hoff climbs up the ropes as another massive "HOFF" chant echoes throughout the arena. Hoff pulls Stevens up groggy, and grabs his rival by the hair. Hoff, half-limping, again dashes toward a nearby face of the cage, rears back, and FLINGS Stevens into the steel, sending the veteran down clutching his face! Hoff wastes no time lifting Stevens up again, and storming to the opposite wall! Hoff rears back and HURLS Stevens face-first into the steel!! The fans get PUMPED as Stevens smashes into the steel and falls backwards, landing on his shoulders and neck and rolling backwards onto his stomach! Hoff pumps his fist, then grabs Stevens yet again! COLE Hoff is building some steam! Barely favoring his right kne at all now, Hoff again grabs Stevens by the hair and drags him to the cage wall! Hoff rears back and SMASHES Stevens' head into the cage, but he doesn;t let go! Hoff keeps ahold of his foe, and rears back again, and again, and again, SMASHING Stevens' skull and face into the steel! The fans are in a frenzy as Hoff pulls Stevens back, looks at his groggy face, and throws him once more into the steel, letting him collapse on the top rope before crumpling to the mat! Hoff shakes his head, scowling in anger, before STOMPING at Stevens with his right leg! Hoff grits through the pain, shaking his head no and SCREAMING at Stevens!! HOFF "NOT TODAY, CHRIS!! NOT LIKE THAT!!" The fans are BESIDE themselves as Stevens groggily tries to climb up the ropes. He slips once, and falls, then tries to get up again. Hoff looks on, before finally pulling Stevens up the rest of the way. Hoff turns Stevens around and grabs him, pressing him up over his head in a display of power-- COLE What a display of power!! --before throwing him down to the mat. Stevens lands with a dull thud, holding his back again as Hoff stalks toward his prey. Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair again, pulling him up and scooping him. Hoff hoists the prone Chris Stevens onto his shoulder, and turns to face the cage wall to a BIG pop! Hoff charges at the cage wall... CABOOSE Oh, NO! ...but Stevens slips off of Hoff's shoulder and shoves the big man into the cage! Hoff hits head-first, and clutches at his forehead before reeling backwards -- into a schoolboy by Chris Stevens! The official makes a count-- ONE! TWO! THR-NO!! Kickout by Hoff at the LAST SECOND! COLE Stevens almost stole one there, fellas! CABOOSE The deuce do you mean, "stole?" A win is a win! Hoff kicks out, and Stevens...DASHES FOR THE DOOR! Stevens LUNGES at the doorway as Sliverman opens it, pushing it open the rest of the way, and Stevens tries to crawl out of the cage--but HOFF GRABS HIS FOOT! Stevens tries to kick Hoff off, but Hoff is having none of it as he gets to his knees, then his feet, and drags Stevens back into the ring! The ref closes the door, and Stevens hops up with Hoff still clutching his left leg. Stevens somehow spins in Hoff's grasp, facing the big man, and leaping up with an enziguri, which Hoff nimbly ducks!! Somehow, Stevens is able to land on his free leg-- CABOOSE GREAT athleticism by my man, there. Stevens lands, but Hoff pushes his other leg, spinning him around, RIGHT into a huge clothesline! The force of the move sends Hoff to his knees, and Stevens to the mat, unmoving. COLE WHAT A CLOTHESLINE by the big man!! COACH Guys, that could be a momentum shifter in this match! Hoff gets back to his fulkl height after taking a moment to breathe. Meanwhile, Stevens is nearly out from the big clothesline, rolling slightly on the mat. Hoff grabs Stevens' legs, spreads them...and levels a BIG stomp to the...uh...midsection. Referee Robinson admonishes Hoff, but Hoff shrugs him off. COLE It's all legal in this type of environment! CABOOSE That doesn't make it right! Hoff scowls at Stevens as the veteran rolls onto his stomach. Hoff picks him up again, before scooping him and dropping him with a bodyslam. Hoff sizes Stevens up, and drops a hard elbow to the chest of Stevens, simply leaning into a cover! Count from Robsinson: ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Stevens kicks out of the lacquidasical cover by Hoff, rolling away and into the ropes. Hoff gets up and stalks toward Stevens, grabbing him from behind in a rear waistlock! The fans pop, but Stevens quickly shoots a mule kick to Hoff's right knee! Hoff SCREAMS in pain, and falls to one knee, turning away from Stevens. Stevens turns and walks to Hoff, stepping in front of the big man. Hoff rests on one knee, and Stevens goes to pull him up by the hair, but Hoff pops to his feet, grabs Stevens, lifts him up, and SPINEBUSTER~!~!~!~! The fans go RABID as Hoff hits the trademark 'buster out of nowhere, before falling onto his back. COACH GOOD LORD, he just DRILLED Stevens!! COLE Hoff has the advantage, now's his chance! Slowly, Hoff gets up to his feet. Hoff looks over at Stevens, who stirs slightly, and then to the cage door. The fans cheer as Hoff takes a step toward the door...and suddenly, the fans are booing as... COLE Wait, who the hell is that? CABOOSE That's...that's JUMBO!!! The fans jeer as Jumbo, Chris Stevens' former bodyguard and hired gun, charges down to the ring. Hoff spies Jumbo barrelling down the aisle as Billy Silverman fumbles with the lock, and Hoff points this out to Silverman-- just in time for the ref to be WALLOPED with a steel chair! The fans are irate as Jumbo grabs the key and taunts Hoff, who fumes, with FIRE IN THE EYES~ COLE I thought he was fired! I thought Stevens sent him home! CABOOSE That's what Hoff thought too! HA HA!! Hoff jaws with Jumbo...before being SMASHED in the back by a Chris Stevens forearm! Stevens smiles, flashing the thumbs-up to his associate. In the ring, referee Charles Robinson asks Chris for answers, but Stevens ignores him as he drags Hoff to the center of the ring. Stevens shoves Robinson away, then grabs Hoff, sending the big man down with a Russian legsweep! Hoff holds his head after the impact as Stevens gets up, walking over to Hoff's feet! Stevens quickly grabs Hoff's left leg, spinning around it-- COLE Oh no, Stevens could be looking for a figure-four leglock! COACH Oh man, if he slaps that baby onto that knee, it is ALL over! Stevens grabs the right leg of Hoff, hooking it under the left, and before Hoff can react, Stevens slaps on the deadly figure four!! Hoff SCREAMS in pain, and the ref asks if he wants to give-- CABOOSE He said yes! I heard it!! But Hoff fights, gritting his teeth. Hoff tries to turn the hold over, and the fans stomp and clap, but Stevens pumps the hold, and Hoff screams in pain as he falls to the mat! The ref counts Hoff's shoulders down: ONE! TWO! THR-NO, as Hoff flings an arm up! COLE How much more of this can Hoff take?! Stevens pumps the hold again, a la Ric Flair, but Hoff raises an arm, fighting the hold. The fans are NUT and BANANA and FIERCE~, making all the noise they can to rally Hoff!! The big man pumps his fist, then turns...turns...and FINALLY reverses the hold!! Stevens SCREAMS, and quickly breaks the hold, pulling his legs free of Hoff. Stevens hobbles a bit as he gets up, turning to see Hoff still on the canvas, favoring his knee. Stevens scowls at the big man, walking over to him. Stevens again grabs the legs, and this time HE stopms HOFF in the...ahem..."nether regions", before stepping through the legs, looking for a Sharpshooter!! COACH Stevens is trying to PUNISH Hoff in there! Stevens grapevines Hoff's legs and tries to turn the big man, but Hoff reaches up and grabs Stevens' neck, rolling through the hold into a small package! ONE! TWO! THREENO! Stevens gets out at the last second!! Both men scramble up, but Stevens easily beats Hoff to his feet! Stevens tries an Irish whip, but Hoff reverses the whip...and pulls Stevens back into a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!! The fans go BALLISTIC as Hoff falls on top of Stevens!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!! COLE Hoff ALMOST had it! CABOOSE Like hell he did!! Hoff gets up slow after the short-arm, then looks down at the prone Stevens, and scowls, shaking his head, drawing a HUGE pop from the crowd! Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair and pulls him up!! Hoff runs Stevens head-first into the far cage wall!! Stevens reels back, and Hoff grabs him again, throwing him, LIFTING him off of the ground and sending Stevens flying into the steel! Stevens falls to the mat, bouncing like a pinball as he skids to a halt by Hoff. Hoff SPITS on Stevens before stomping him in the face!!! The fans are cheering like mad, as Hoff again lifts Stevens up, using all his might to HURL Stevens into the cage wall! Hoff lands on his knees, Stevens hits the wall and bounces off, on his feet, dazed, RIGHT INTO A LOW BLOW from Hoff!!! CABOOSE Now COME ON, there's NO NEED FOR THAT!! COLE Hoff is letting it all out! All the anger, the frustration!! Stevens doubles over as Hoff gets up! Hoff hooks Stevens around the head, and DROPS him with a DDT!! The fans are beside themselves as Hoff rolls Stevens over, and the ENTIRE ARENA counts along with Robsinson: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE-NO!!!!! Just two as Stevens BARELY gets out!! Hoff slaps the mat as he gets up, pulling Stevens up with him. Hoff grabs Stevens, lifts him onto his shoulder, and carries him to the corner...and LAWN DARTS him into the corner of the cage!! Stevens spazms as he hits the steel, then falls, and lands HARD on the top turnbuckle as he does! Stevens' neck snaps back as he lands on the canvas, out like a light!! COLE That's gotta be it!! Hoff limps over to the cage door-- but it doesn't open, as Jumbo smiles at Hoff, waving the key in front of him! Hoff stares a HOLE in Jumbo, before flipping him the middle finger, and starts limbing up the cage wall!! COACH Hoff doing this the old-fashioned way!! CABOOSE Can his knee make it up, though? COLE I would think-- hey, wait, look at Jumbo! Jumbo's scaling the cage!! Jumbo, indeed, starts up the cage on the opposite side of Hoff to a chorus of boos from the audience. Stevens is still out in the corner, barely even stirring, as Hoff and Jumbo -- one with a bad knee, one with a weight problem -- ascend at about the same speed. Hoff seems to get a little bit of an edge, nearly reaching the top, and then he does, throwing an arm over and hoisting himself up! Hoff leans over the edge of the cage...but Jumbo reaches up and swings at Hoff, catching him in the jaw! Hoff reels back, but keeps his arms gripping the cage. Jumbo, though, buys some time, and heads to meet Hoff! The two are level, and Jumbo throws a punch! Hoff catches the blow square in the jaw, and reels, losing one arm!! Hoff steadies himself as the audience screams! Hoff turns around, and Jumbo fires another right hand...but Hoff blocks it! Hoff reaches back and fires, catching Jumbo SQUARE in the temple! Jumbo reels, and Hoff, like a man posessed, lands right hand, right hand, right hannd, and finally rears back and PLASTERS Jumbo with a big right hook-- that sends him FALLING off the cage!! COLE OH MY GOD!! Jumbo plummets to earth like a rogue meterorite, landing with a KA-BOOM on the thin protective mats at ringside!! The fans cheer as Hoff looks down for a moment, managing a slight smile, before resuming his climb-- but Hoff gets stopped short as Stevens, back up, grabs tenaciously at Hoff's ankle!! CABOOSE Stevens is back up!! Thank God!! Stevens, his face a bloody mess from the earlier onslaught, clutches at Hoff's right ankle. Hoff tries to shake him free, but Stevens holds on for dear life. Hoff looks back..and levels a sharp kick to the face of Stevens!! Stevens' head snaps back as Hoff kicks him with his free left leg, and Hoff levels ANOTHER boot that sends Stevens down to the mat!! The fans cheer as Hoff turns back to the cage...but then turns back to Stevens!! COLE What could Hoff be thinking?! Hoff looks at Stevens as the veteran slowly gets back up, and Hoff gingerly turns, grabbing the cage with one hand and balancing on the top rope! Hoff raises his free hand into the air to a HUGE pop!! COACH Uh-oh, uh-oh!! Big man gonna fly!! Stevens gets up, turning groggily around to face Hoff...and Hoff LEAPS off of the top strand!! Hoff lifts both arms into the air, looking for a double axe handle.......but Stevens CATCHES HOFF WITH A SUPERKICK!! Stevens throws the kick as Hoff dives, nailing him in mid-air to a decent pop, then a HUGE round of boos as both men fall to the mat!! COLE What a MOVE!! CABOOSE YES!!! The veteran Stevens saw it coming!! Now come on, Chris, get out of there!! The TV screens of America go to split-screen as they replay the sick move in slow motion. Stevens, still a bit groggy himself, slowly gets to his knees. Sparing a glance for the out-of-commission Hoff, Stevens crawls over to the cage door, asking for it to be opened...but there's no one there!! CABOOSE What?!? NO!! Get an official out here!! SOMEONE!! COLE It's Stevens' own fault for bringing Jumbo out here in the first place!!! Stevens uses the corner to pull himself up, then looks on the verge of tears as he sees the prone figures of Billy Silverman and Jumbo, and the shiny gold key lying on the floor. Stevens looks back at Hoff, then waves him off, heading up the cage wall! COLE Hoff is still out, and Stevens is gonna head up that cage wall! COACH Hoff got DRILLED with that superkick!! He's gotta be out! CABOOSE I told you, I told you ALL ALONG! Stevens is gonna win this thing!! Stevens, exhausted and bloody, slowly climbs up the cage wall. Stevens ascended halfway up, then stops, catching his breath...then starts again -- but Hoff starts getting up!! COLE Wait just a minute! CABOOSE NO!! Stevens, slowly, climbs up another step, as Hoff gets to his hands and knees!! The crowd cheers, but Stevens, oblivious, takes another small step upward!! Hoff gets to his knees, then his feet, and spies Stevens trying to get away!! CABOOSE RUN, CHRIS!! PUT YOUR DAMN SHOES ON AND RUN LIKE THE WIND!!! Hoff looks up at Stevens, and walks over to him...and DRILLS him with a forearm shot to the small of the back!! Stevens collapses, barely hanging onto the cage with his hands. Stevens tries to pull himself ack up, but to his right, Hoff starts climbing!! Hoff gets nearly to where Stevens is hanging, but Stevens spies the big man and throws a back elbow to his face! Hoff reels...but hangs on!! Hoff takes another step up, and grabs Stevens by the hair and RAMS him into the cage wall!! Stevens goes limp, hanging onto the wall for dear life!! COACH Hoff might be able to throw him off here!! He-- uh-ohhhhhhhh.... The fans COME TO THEIR FEET as, in the ring, Hoff grabs Stevens head and hooks it under his arm!! COLE NO! CABOOSE You don't think.... COLE I think he might be!! Hoff takes another step upward, positioning Stevens just right as the fans go WILD!! Hoff looks down behind him, then grabs Stevens by the waist and jumps off the cage wall!! Hoff lifts Stevens as they fall and brings him down into the FUTURE SHOCK~! "HOLY SHIT" "HOLY SHIT" "HOLY SHIT" COLE Off the CAGE WALL!! Unbelievable!! CABOOSE Oh, dear lord.... Hoff, dazed, rolls on top of Stevens into a cover! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!! THREE!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* The arena goes ECSTATIc as Hoff's theme music fills the air!! CABOOSE I can't believe it. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout....HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!! The referee raises Hoff's hand as he slowly gets to his feet. Finally, a group of officials come to ringside, opening the cage door. COLE There you have it, folks. Tonight, Hoff got his revenge. And you're right, Caboose, Chris Stevens may not be moving. COACH He might be legally dead. Stevens, alive, does slightly move, being helped up by no less than four EMTs and officials. Hoff, meanwhile, spares a disgusted glance for Jumbo before walking up the ramp. COLE These two threw all they had at each other, including Jumbo for Stevens, but in the end, Hoff came out on top. COACH What a warrior! CABOOSE What a crock. I think I'm gonna puke. The fans are standing once again as an exhausted Hoff tsops on top of the stage, looking back at what he's done....then out to the fans as he raises a hand, drawing a MONSTROUS cheer from the Toronto crowd. Hoff manages a faint smile as he heads to the back. COLE Hoff has gotten revenge here tonight. What a match. And we've still got an OAOAST Title match!! Next!!

Jackie Gayda is backstage in the ACTIONzone with Women’s Champion, Holly-Wood. JACKIE Holly, earlier you were ringside with The Saints when they lost their important tag team match against The New New Midnight Express. The guys didn’t seem very happy with you. In fact they were yelling at you because they seem to think you cost them the tag team match! Your thoughts? HOLLY-WOOD I don’t wanna talk about it. JACKIE I know it may be Arista policy not to talk about internal blowups, but if you.. HOLLY No, it’s Holly’s policy not to talk about things Holly doesn’t want to talk about. Get me? JACKIE But, the fans have a right to know. HOLLY Fuck the fans. Fuck The Midnight Express. Fuck Stan Lane. Fuck Bobby Eaton. Fuck Synth Esizer. Fuck Logan Mann especially. Fuck Charles Robinson. Fuck Bill Watts. Fuck Candie. Fuck the OAOAST. Fuck your interview. And most of all fuck you. Holly gives Jackie Gayda the finger as she exits the action zone. COACH I like a woman that’s not afraid to speak on matters. CABOOSE Coach, you like any woman that’s not dead. Truth or Dare hits, putting the crowd into a rather unhappy mood. A chorus of boos is sent throughout the sold out venue as The Queen of HeldDOWN emerges from the back! Candie, dressed in sexy glittering silver shorts, and a red tank top, sits arrogantly on a tacky, bejeweled, golden throne. The OAOAST’s royalty is being held up by numerous oiled up Canadian hardbodies. Leaving almost nothing to the imagination, the beefcakes are wearing skimpy Tarzan like loin cloths that barely manage to cover all the right (or wrong) places. COLE I’d love to get one of these hunks to lumberjack my wood. CABOOSE Cole, control yourself. We’ve got a match to do. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a Five Minutes in Heaven Match! The rules are as follows; the match can end by pinfall, submission, count out or disqualification. But it must end within five minutes! Now making her way to the ring, from Malibu, California, she is the Queen of the OAOAST! CANDDDDIEEEEE! With two of her sexiest jungle boys lending aid, Candie dismounts her gaudy throne. She’s awash in a sea of venom from the audience and stares at them with sharp disapproval. The stunning diva bows condescendingly for her unloyal subjects before rolling into the ring. COLE Folks, Candie’s only pay per view victory came against Holly-Wood. But that was almost a year ago. These two tore each other apart for two straight weeks leading up to Anglepalooza, forcing Bill Watts to make this match as short as possible so they wouldn’t do further damage to each other. COACH I think Bill Watts made this a five minute match because of time constraints. There’s a cage match, a rumble, a world title match and a four way for the X title! Good lord, I’d be shocked if this went longer then three minutes! CABOOSE Thank you for breaking kayfabe, Coach. COACH Who’s Kay Fabe? Does she do DP? Truth or Dare fades out. Stepping into its place is Another Body Murdered. The curtain violently swings open as if it was taken by a powerful gust of wind from a hurricane! Clad in leather pants and a leather biker jacket, The Women’s Champion enters the arena to a smattering of cheers. COACH Most of time it seems like Holly pisses ice water. She’s has about as much emotion as a rock. But she seemed genuinely upset at The Saints blaming her for their loss earlier tonight against the Midnight Express. I found that odd. She always acts like she doesn't want to be bothered with Logan and Synth. But maybe she does like them. CABOOSE If she was going to get upset she shouldn’t have bothered costing them the match the first place! GAWRSH! BUFFER And the champion...from Hollywood, California..appearing courtesy of Arista Records....HOLLY-WOOOODDD! Holly walks down the ramp way, with the extravagant, jaw droppingly pricey, diamond encrusted title sparkling around her waist. COACH Really, is her last name Wood? Her first name is Holly, but its too unbearable to think that someone would be cruel enough to name their kid after the city they were born in. Holly hits the ring and Referee Billy Silverman takes up the unenviable task of preventing Candie from trying to maul her like a wild Canadian grizzly! The Saints’ image consultant removes her jacket to reveal a black mesh shirt covering a white bikini top. Candie continues to rant and rave like an utter lunatic while Holly looks on blankly. COLE Folks, I don’t suggest getting up to make yourself a sandwich. By the time you’re done, this match just might be over! After finally getting Candie to settle down, Silverman calls for the bell! DING DING DING After the bell rings a tiny clock appears on screen. The match kicks off with Holly immediately going behind Candie for a waistlock! There’s a brief struggle over a German suplex attempt. Candie wins the contest by spinning behind Holly and getting a waistlock of her own! The younger wrestler lifts Holly up for an amateur style takedown, but Holly tilts her body forward and smartly counters with a roll up! 1 2 KICK OUT! CABOOSE No matter who wins this match, there will be a rematch this week on HeldDOWN~! Both women spring to their feet! Teeming with intensity Candie launches herself at a much calmer Holly, only to get taken over with a sleeper hold! The rest hold could prove catastrophic to Candie’s quest for gold, as every moment spent in the hold is a waste of seconds that are more precious then the diamonds on the title belt. Understanding this, Candie battles her way out of the sleeper hold! She frees herself from the move and attacks her opposer with a DDT! BUT! Holly blocks that with a Northern Lights Suplex into a bridge! 1 2 KICK OUT! Grabbing a fistful of her adversary’s hair, Holly drags Candie to her feet. She tries to take her into a front face lock, but meets with strong opposition as Candie counters merely by shoving Holly into the ropes! Holly rushes back at Candie and is flung to the ground with an arm drag! Zack’s gal pal tries to turn the take down into an armbar, however lady luck isn’t on her side as Holly through rolls and hops to her feet! Stunned that her opponent was able to recover so easily, Candie doesn’t even think to block the spinning back kick Holly directs at her chest! COACH The length of this match isn’t a problem for Holly. If time runs out and we wind up with a draw, Holly’s still the champ. The redheaded diva twists her body around and blasts a hurting Candie with another spinning back kick! She staggers backwards, clutching her ribs and her chest, attempting to put some distance between herself and her slightly taller opponent. Problematically, Candie’s effort proves incredibly futile as Holly forces her into a front face lock, putting her escape on lock down! COACH Oooooh! COLE What an odd noise. COACH Funny, your sister seemed to like it last night. Before Candie can even mount a suitable defense, The Saints’ image consultant flings her over with a Rodeo Driver (Twisting Fisherman’s suplex)! Silverman drops down to make the pin count! 1 2 KICK OUT! The crowd boos the kickout lustily, but deep down they can’t help but be impressed by Candie’s resiliency! Holly pulls Candie upright! Wasting little time because there is none to waste, she peppers her opposite with race car fast kicks to the shins! Each blow is like tiny bolts of lightning dancing painfully around Candie’s leg! She tries to cover up by turning her body to the side, but it’s a poor defense against Holly’s lethal attacks! Satisfied with the damage done by her leg led assault, the twenty nine year old lifts Candie up for a basic body slam but that gets turned into a small package! 1 2 KICK OUT! “CANDIE SWALLOWS! CANDIE SWALLOWS!” chants the crowd. COACH Don’t I know it. Wait! I didn’t mean that! Don’t kill me Zack! I know we tight, playa! Holly takes a knee while slowly running her hands through her soft blood colored hair. Candie, seeking to keep momentum in her favor, dashes at Holly for god knows what! Despite her opponent running with more force then a run away truck, Holly-Wood is still able to snare her with a spine buster! But Candie counters the move that’s a finisher for so many OAOAST stars with a roll up! 1 2 KICK OUT! COLE Two minutes and some change left! The former Totally Endorsed member grabs Holly into a standing full nelson! Gathering that something much worse is forthcoming, Holly wildly flails her legs in front of her, and twists her body around like it was a rag doll! All of this frenzied movement prevents her egomaniacal attacker from nailing her intended full nelson slam. Visibly overwhelmed by frustration, Candie drops down to the mat and pulls Holly down with her with a school boy! 1 KICK OUT! Before Holly is even standing her hated rival is running the ropes! The champion starts to stand up but the challenger leaps over her with a sunset flip, trying to put her back down on the mat for three of the mos pivotal seconds of their young lives! Maddingly for Candie, Holly is strong in her refusal to fall backwards into a pin! Candie screams and hollers like a baby denied of its pacifier as she orders Holly to come down to the canvas! “Go down you ugly whore!” COACH That’s exactly what I said last night to your mom, Mikey. Fighting against father time, who seems to be moving faster then ever, and her own frayed nerves, Candie tugs and tugs at Holly! Veins seem to explode out of every inch of her body, beads of sweat pop off her like popcorn, and her teeth are almost grinding themselves into dust! Finally, Holly counters the move by dropping down on Candie’s face and shoulders and getting a pin of her own! COACH Oooh, that’s a position the Coach loves to find himself in. 1 2 KICK OUT! The ladies are back on their feet. Transformed into a nervous wreck, Candie moves with more speed then Speedy Gonzales! She charges towards the corner and jumps onto the top turnbuckle! From there she rockets her slender model-like body at Holly with a cross body block! However the incumbent catches the feisty challenger in her arms! This highly annoying counter contributes to Candie’s increasing distress! Her own inner disquiet looks like it may defeat her before Holly gets the chance! CABOOSE Holly has a hold of Candie! COLE Hey! Stating the obvious is my job, buster. Holly drops down to her knee and slams Candie’s ribcage against it! The Cosmo worthy beauty hollers out in bedeviled plague! Not so much because the rib breaker hurt but because she can see her championship dreams fading into the darkness of oblivion with each tick of the clock. With Candie still in her possession, Holly stands up, spins Candie in front of her and nails the vexing bitch with a Rock Bottom! CABOOSE Cole, do something! Candie’s gonna lose! I’m sharing a rental car with her and Zack! I can’t stand to listen to her pissing and moaning for the hour long trip to the airport! The fan’s come alive as Holly-Wood starts to apply her killer finisher, The Hollywood Groove (Liontamer!). Seeing the life of her title belt fantasies flash before her ocean blue eyes, Candie is overtaken by a strong sense of resoluteness! She fights Holly’s submission every step of way, never once giving an inch! She flops her way around the ring totally disallowing Holly from properly applying the move. Candie shoots her body up and pulls a surprised Holly down for a roll up! 1 2 KICK OUT COLE Forty seconds left! Candie is fully aware that if there was any possibility that time was on her side, it just got snuffed out when the clock hit the half minute mark! Yearning for the chance to hold a championship, Candie is ablaze with a fighter’s passion! Hugely impatient, she hollers at Holly to get up! When the leather wearing warrior does, Candie rushes at her with a lariat! DUCKED! Now Holly throws a boomerang clothesline! But Candie turns around just in time to duck it! The audience, who isn’t a fan of either woman, is on their feet gripped by the pure excitement of the finish! Candie comes back at Holly with a School’s Out! Holly somehow blocks Candie’s foot and counters with a super kick of her own! NO! Candie rolls underneath Holly’s death-dealing leg! She goes behind her and nails her with a backdrop into a pin! The fans don’t know wether to cheer or boo, so their shouts come out a garbled mess. 1 2 BUZZZZZ! CABOOSE That’s the buzzer! The match is over! Those in attendance quickly start to converse amongst themselves, unsure of what the outcome of the duel is. COACH Did Holly have Candie down for three? The buzzer went off and Billy Silverman just stopped counting. But at the same time Holly never kicked out. COLE But did Holly not kick out because the buzzer went off, ending the match? That’s a good question. None of this would mattered if Silverman had gone through with his count. He was 3/4th of the way there and then when the buzzer sounded he stopped. One look at Candie’s face will clear away the clouds that shroud the result of the match. She’s heartbroken. Her fragile ego is crushed into thousands of pieces and not even the strongest glue on the world could put it back together. Holly, now leaning against the turnbuckles, has a scowl on her face. Although that could be due to a number of things not related to this match. Buffer stands up and makes the match ending official. BUFFER The winner..and still OAOAST Women’s Champion...HOLLY-WOOOOOD! The announcement is met with a polite round of applause. COLE Holly-Wood experiencing success while Synth and Logan taste bitter defeat. Can’t believe that’ll please The Saints. I’d hate to be on that tour bus. COACH Are you kidding me? They got Belladonna on that tour bus! Have you seen what that chick can do with a baseball bat? Get the fuck outta here, playa. Get me on that ride, I’ll show all them my Louisville slugger. Jigga what?