kkktookmybabyaway

Maybe I just don't like you. Drat, now how will I get to sleep tonight -- can you sing me my favorite lullaby, Rant?...

Armageddon > Deep Impact. How can you disregard a movie where Bruce Willis is aiming golf balls at hippies?...

Guess they all look alike to you, huh cereb?...

Why don't you mock some people in this thread? Great idea. thebigjig is THE SUQ LOL2004~!!!!!...

So was that a big enough opening-weekend gross to produce Scooby Doo 3? Please tell me no...

Didn't you get robbed or something a while back? I worked in a suburban store so there were po-pos always around stealing coffee. The worst I got were the usually drunks that got thrown out of the usual bars at around 1 a.m. Now the weekday clerk would actually listen to their stories of how they were going to turn their lives around but I just kept my rap music playing, hoping it would be enough to drive them out...

Well, I've avoided cell phones for many years, but with my new job I need one in case the car breaks down or something. I have a Virgin mobile pre-paid one. It's $60-70 to buy and you have to purchase at least $30 of call time every 90 days. Of course, my lazy self hasn't bothered to activiate it yet, but that's another story...

Keep the divisions and the playoff system as it is because in a few years we'll probably be all bitching at how the East is the much better conference (OK, so maybe more than a few years -- you get my point). The post-season may be a bit long, but what else is there to watch in April and May besides baseball? Oh, and is the NBA going to do a best-of-seven series for Round 1 this year?...

It pretty much sprang up from threads such as these, imo...

I have worked four third-shift jobs in my life -- convience store clerk, cashier, graphic artist and copy editor. What do I win?...

In Hardcore Discussion?...

India...

Just silence for me...

Stay away from the message boards...

Part One Part Two...

Hey, if those people can make money writing that crap, then more power to them. Comedy is such a hard profession. If there's an audience for "Whose Line is it Anyway?" then there surely must be an audience for The Onion. The only time any Onion story made me laugh was the one about the athlete blaming God for his team's loss...

Makes sense to me. Close enough. And it's because of Jaws IV that I refuse to watch Babe: Pig in the City. I loved the first movie and I don't want it ruined by watching a sequel that gives me the shivers everytime I saw an ad for it...

So said the poster that typed this...

Well, I'm back. Where's the fun?...

And those pics weren't even funny. Wonder why there isn't a "jessejacksonorchimp.com" Web site up and running...

Well, at least we could jail these downloaders with the recreational drug users so both parties don't get ass-raped by real criminals. A fine is good enough for illegal downloaders, not jailtime *puts on flame-resistant suit...*

Yet another Onion article that I read through with a straight face. The streak continues...

OK, I thought those were your worst top 5. And even though I really have no opinion of "Liar Liar," one of my all-time favorite lines is in that movie: "STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE..."

Wait, you did or didn't like these five movies you just mentioned?...

Here's something else I just realized. In Jaws II a water plane (or whatever those things are called) gets dragged down by Jaws the Second. Now, since the pilot never surfaced I'm assuming he got eaten. But yet when the same thing happens to Hoagie, some lush pilot, he manages to escape and even make a joke about Jaws the Fourth's breath. Now a trained pilot can't get away but Hoagie can? Oh yeah, I just figured out why Hoagie got away; the first pilot wasn't about to bang Ms. Brody...