The Amazing Rando

You used to really, really like watching everything. ...then you snapped. What a glorious day that was.

But if Joe wins it sends the fans home happy (instead of LAX winning to end the show)

I guess some of it has to be fictional since they never truly proved who did it and probably wanted to give the audience some kind of closure.

"I'M ROBBIE!" "AND I'M RORY!" ... "...I'm the Goddamn Batman"

Maybe, but the way Sabin was holding the blow up doll after the match makes me think it may not be over yet. I don't know why but Sabin was just hugging the damn thing. You gotta protect the ones you love, mate. That's the secret o' life. I left that one wide open for you, didn't I? Like fucking the Lincoln Tunnel with a pool cue.

Maybe, but the way Sabin was holding the blow up doll after the match makes me think it may not be over yet. I don't know why but Sabin was just hugging the damn thing. You gotta protect the ones you love, mate. That's the secret o' life.

Y2J and the Planet of the Apes?

Is the Black Dalhia a bad movie? Because I really think what is keeping it from getting an audience is that most of the movie-going public has absolutely no idea on the backstory behind that murder.

The blow-up doll was still at ringside after being eliminated during the Triple Ch--no wait, that was Lance Hoyt. Nevermind.

He thinks Lance is a fly-ass white chick

Yeah, but how much gas are you going to use ON AN ISLAND

What, no markers? I guess since Janus isn't active we don't have to worry about people being done early?

I technically was under that banner too...for like 8 days... and Bruce could call himself "Quintet Crown Bruce" or something, since he technically has the Intercontinental, the TV, the US, the SJL World, and SJL Euro titles around his waist...unless of course the ICTV title has always been one belt and not the two seperate ones.

My stats are the updated, in the same spot they were before. It was a pain trying to remember moves from 3 years ag, but I got most of them.

Date: September 22, 2006 Time: 10:00 AM Place: Unknown. "Can I take this damn blindfold off now?" The image on the screen is that of Ben Hardy, pulling a black mask from his face. When he finally gets it off he looks at his cameraman. "How long has yours been off for?!" "A minute or so. Do you know where we are?" "Not a clue" replies Ben as he looks around him, the scene he has been pulled into the middle of shows a small podium and a group of around 10 reporters. A giant in a suit and tie stands at the podium, sunglasses tilted down over his nose as he looks over at Ben and the cameraman. When he notices both of them are unmasked, he moves from the podium and approaches them. Ben nearly wets himself. "I'm sorry about having to do that to you at the airport, gentlemen. I was given orders to not let you break the news on TV until it was time." "What news? What the hell is going on here? Where the hell are we?" "Oh, I guess I can tell you now...you are---" SLAAAAAAAAAM! From behind them, two giant doors swing open, revealing Bloodshed, looking decidedly more clean cut than he was less than 24 hours ago. He walks in front of three more men in suits, though older than the giant next to Ben. With Alan at the podium, the big man moves back over towards the group of reporters as Bloodshed takes the microphone from the podium and holds it in his hand. "Ah, that's more like it." He begins, walking around the small stage set up, "We would like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. It was brought to my attention yesterday morning by my boss, Mister Joseph Peters, that certain blocks were starting to fall into place as far as turning the SWF around. I was not given all the details immediately, but as they have come to me this morning I have to say that things are starting to turn around for me. So without further ado, I must hand off the microphone to my soon-to-be best friend, Walter. Walter? Can I call you Walt?" "No sir." comes the response from the big man as he takes the microphone away from Bloodshed and looks out over the reporters just as he did minutes ago when Ben first saw him. "Now, My name is Walter Reynolds, and as of this moment my job will be to protect the man behind me from any vicious attacks done outside an SWF ring. Also, because of his temper, I will also be stopping him from doing anything that the company would not approve of. We are not advocaters of violence, but as the SWF begins it's seventh year of quality entertainment, we see the potential for advertising, cross-promotion, and sponsorship. It is our anti-violence stance that has led to myself being put in this position of protection, to keep the wrestling done by our investment in the ring and legal. The words "hardcore", "ultraviolent", and anything to do with weapons, fire, or blood, unless caused outright during a legal one-on-one bout, as it is prone to occur, are hearby grounds to void said contract with us and possibly with the SWF. Meaning, should I let him wrestle in any violently gimmicked matches OR should I let him be involved in any non-sanctioned brawls or attacks, both of us will lose our jobs. But, even with my protection, in the invent of an attack, he has been informed to simply fall to the ground and to not fight back no matter what the circumstances until myself and security can disable the threat at hand. Do you understand?" Walter turns to Bloodshed, who nods his head in agreement. "Then it is with my great pleasure that I introduce to you our newest investment... Disney-Sponsored Alan Clark." Have A Magical Day.

That is going to be part of the fun.

I actually think Toxx could pull it off. He's done everything else.

I'd boo more for JJ knocking over Joe than my grandmother.

I was hoping for an Elimination Chamber (locking yourself in a cage with five men).

liked the Rey Rey mask on the fan by the ring. I don't know why, just the guy getting up in JJ's face like "yeah, what?!"

Date: September 21, 2006 Time: 4:36 PM Location: Las Vegas "What the hell am I doing here again?" Ben Hardy is caught on camera in front of a gritty apartment building. "I don't care, Peters. I was supposed to be in Niagara Falls at noon!" He pauses. "No, sir, I do not want to end up like Michael Craven did at Genesis. Yes sir. But it's past 4:30, sir, what am I -- sir? Sir??!!" Ben angerly flips his cellphone shut and turns around to the camera, trying his best to seem somewhat interested in whatever the hell it is he happens to be doing. "Okay, SWF fans, Benjamin Hardy here with you on the streets of Las Vegas, waiting for...something." Hardy is suddenly knocked down by a figure in a black t-shirt fleeing from the apartment complex. The camera barely catches the blur. "What the (bleep) was that! Go get that guy!!" Hardy tries to pull himself up as the cameraman follows the figure down the street. As the camera gets closer he can see the figure holding a cellphone to his ear, almost screaming. "What do you mean you want me again? Hey! You left me!" he pauses and screams out for a taxi. "You said it was too violent! That's not my fault..wait...what? You want me to do what? You're giving me what? Slow down! Slow down!! TAAAAXI!" he screams again as Hardy finally catches up the scene. "What the hell do you think you are doing, knocking me down! Do you know who the hell I am! I'm BEN HAR-" the figure suddenly turns around, revealing himself to be... BLOODSHED!! Hardy jerks back, but Bloodshed is still screaming into his phone. "Okay. Fine. You have a plane waiting? Tomorrow? I have to be in---FINE! You people are pushy! Yes I understand the money and the oppurtunity! I know what synergy means! Is this cleared with the Federation? Fine! I'll be there tomorrow morning!" Bloodshed shuts his phone just as a taxi pulls up to him. "Bloodshed? What is going on?" Hardy tries to speak as Bloodshed throws his bags into the taxi. "All I know is that Joseph Peters called me this morning and told me I was going to get a phone call about something that only I would be interested in. A big deal. I told him that to get me back in the company again it would have to be a big deal. The SWF doesn't need Bloodshed anymore! You don't know how much it hurts me to say that." "Did you tell Peters that?" "OF COURSE! Stubborn bastard didn't listen! He tells me I'm going to get this phone call and well--" Suddenly the taxi cab driver screams out of his window in whatever language you think would be appropriate. "Whatever! I gotta go! Just call Peters, he knows where I'm going." And in mere seconds, the taxi speeds off, leaving Hardy and his cameraman alone. Hardy's phone suddenly rings , playing the Philosopher Kings "I Am A Man". Hardy quickly answers the phone. "Sir? Yes, he just jumped in a taxi." He pauses, his face drops. "...You want me to go where?"

Yeah, it's all about range of motion. I mean, if you can do a split, it won't mean much if your neck can barely move back and forth or your arm can't move in a total circle without moving outside of rotation. Trust me, I know a guy that is a muscled freak, but his flexibility is so bad (and his body so tore up thanks probably to roids) he can't even clap his hands together. He can get them about 6 inches apart and they just can't get any closer.

They'd better be airing live every week or they are screwed.

I'm still bitter too, dammit.

Comedic Moment Of The Year A Maddix Christmas Carol.