The Amazing Rando

NOT WITHOUT MY POPS!!

You DO you know that the writers use WWE Rewind just to remind themselves what they just wrote right? That's why they used to show so many recaps.

Only if it's a first blood match. :-D Or only if musical accompaniment is provided by Maven & The Monotones, acapella-style.

Randy Orton: The top rope poise of Randy Savage combined with the moveset of a 1987 Hulk Hogan plush.

JR: ...Right to the Patella! Fans: What the fuck are they doing in Alabama?

well technically they are also chanting his initials.

Mike Chioda... The WWE Hunter Tossing Champion with a record of 36 feet, 8 inches.

The WWE has finally caught onto the heat train that Maven has been to date. Who can forget those classic sketches he did with Torrie and Tajiri? Oh, that's right. Everybody. -=Mike NO RAST NAME...RUST MAVEN!!

Gray ring, gray ropes, gray set, every wrestler with monotone theme music... yeah, I can see it. They could not be contained any longer... Their fates, their paths, their destinies set in stone from day one... MAVEN... shot of THE DROPKICK~ GARRISON CADE... shot of THE OTHER DROPKICK~ MARK JINDRAK shot of THE OTHER OTHER DROPKICK~ and introducing... THE VENERABLE TYSON REMINGTON TOMKO shot of Tomko on screen, suddenly slipping and dropping out of screen... Alone...they are nothing... ...but together they are.... BOOOOM! ...Maven & The Monotones. You Will Beige For Mercy.

The All-Dropkick, All-Party, All-Wild Variety Hour Squared!

"You are not me, Bischoff!!" wow...really? no WONDER he got his hair cut.

Eee...my cuzin es Triple S Gonzalez, he's the worstest in all Mehico and de world.

B... Angry, Destructive, Harmful, Pimpin' Just B.

His ego is too big to fit into the arena. Apparently they will be visiting open air arenas from now on.

of course he will

My Gameboy 3-D.... .... well, I think "my" speaks for itself.

It would be absolutely hiliarious if people starting bringing baby dolls to WWE RAW events, too. I would do this. Too bad I probably won't be going to Raw in Baltimore or I would definitely do it.

Thing is, I cannot name a real problem with the original --- well, outside of the kids all sucking, but that's a problem with kid actors. This isn't quite van Sant "Psycho" bad --- but lord, this is a bad idea. Does anybody know what was changed from Dahl's original screenplay? -=Mike ...A dark comedy Willy Wonka? Wow, this MIGHT be van Sant "Psycho" bad... IMDB.com lists only one of the things that the re-writer changed, that being the fact that Wonka speaks many literary quotes during the film, something Dahl never wrote in the original. Also, a few lines down it simply says "Dahl hated the film" EDIT: I would like to also make my opinion clear that movie remakes like this almost always end up bad, and i can just see this "Alice In Wonderland" remake that JSYK was talking about being utter crap because of it.

Hey, besides possibly Danny Conklin, i'm probably Two Drink Minimum's biggest fan.

Rando is here with his IDEA...that's right, just one. It's very simple and easy to follow, and I hope everyone can follow along at home. My idea can be summarized in ONE sentence: Wrestle How You Want! There are two things that help get people over in the wrestling business: 1) Wrestling 2) Character Vince needs to see the light, and realize that nobody will ever upstage the main event, and even if they do who really cares. It is money in his pocket either way. People will always come to see the champions, even if it is HHH. They want to see him lose, though as each month passes the idea of it seems much more futile than it ever has, even though he just went six months without it. The character of HHH carries him alot farther than his wrestling skill, and that is a good thing in this situation because there are characters like Chris Benoit who get over on wrestling ability and skill, and don't need any sort of real personality to let that point be known. In the other divisions, identity is KEY. The fans need to look at a wrestler and say "Yeah that's so-and-so! BOOO!" or "Yeah, there's whats-his-face, he beat so-and-so last time with the such-and-such!" It is not enough to know who they are, but what they are in the ring. Carbon copying Rey Mysterio over and over again won't work, same for anyone else. The independents thrive because of the variety of styles, and if not styles then moves that those guys pull off. It's Jeff Hardy Syndrome to the full effect. That nutcase got over because he did a flipping senton splash from the top with a little bit of finesse and nobody had ever seen it before. But besides that, the Hardyz had the Poetry In Motion and other little things that set them apart from the more character driven E&C. Edge & Christian had their characters to a T during all of 2000 and it showed. They did not need great wrestling to back them up because their characters were such assholes that it worked. Vince can not continue to push the "WWE style" and expect business to prosper. Sure, injuries happen...but even in the slower paced age, they still do (for instance CCC earlier this weekend, Edge repeatedly, HBK, and others). Management needs to go to independent shows and see those small groups of fans going WILD for those guys busting their asses for next to nothing and realize that it might not be WWE style, but it gets fans into the seats and has them cheering the whole way. The WWE needs a proper balance of characters and wrestling put into their storylines and used in such a way as to completely maximize profit. This is a big reason HHH vs. Orton did not really work. The characters clash in such a bizarre way that it turns fans off, and they don't have anything to latch onto. Eddie/Angle, on the other hand, worked on a variety of levels because the characters were played wonderfully (at least before WMXX) and they had the wrestling to back it up. Sure, the WM match wasn't spectacular by alot of means, but the presentation and use of those two dynamic characters made it work. With the recent firings, WWE could easily pick up a few casual fan no-namers from the indy circuit and throw them onto SD or Raw and give them a small push, even if in the beginning it was just throwing them on Velocity or Heat with guys they are familiar working with to job to before moving them up to the more well known names and established names. The recent pushes of Heidenreich, Snitsky, and others shows that the WWE only wants to slow-burn things that don't need it (Test/Steiner, for instance) and not the storylines that really do need it (HHH/Orton, Edge/Benoit). Also, another big point: CHAMPIONSHIPS NEED TO MATTER The championships should NEVER be used for a storyline that they have no reason belonging in (ala Edge/Benoit recently). This happens most often with the tag belts, but in the same vein the singles championships can not be left out of storylines (most of what Orton did in his first IC reign). Right now, there are a few people consistently hunting for the IC Championship, but there is never more than one or two at a time. I say, if a wrestler can not get at HHH, the IC Champ is the next best thing. Have the wrestlers give a shit about who is holding it, why, and how. Wouldn't it be fucked up beyond BELIEF if Christian defeated Shelton, and immediately Bischoff would have his office flooded with people wanting a title shot. Not only would it make the IC title more important, it would in turn make the champion important as well. Currently I love the way that HHH and JBL hold their respective titles. You can tell it means ALOT to each of them to have them. Same things goes for earlier this year when Kidman/London won the tag belts. The after-match stuff backstage was brilliantly done, showing that the new champs really care about it. This needs to be done with every belt and their needs to be a clear storyline going around it at all times. See, it's not so hard now is it? 1) Let the wrestlers work out their own individual style and character. 2) Let them use it to the best of their ability in storylines that work to ENHANCE what they are good at (either the characters or the wrestling or both) 3) If championships get involved, make them mean something. AND My encore rule... 4) If you are going to win, make your opponent look as good as possible leading up to the finish. ~ Rando.

^ Peter Griffin orders chinese. (an hour passes) KNOCK KNOCK! Peter: Finally! Where the hell have you... Delivery Guy: FAH YOU! I FALL DOWN, PUF FACE THRA BIKE! YOU DIE NOW! AHHHHH ... Peter: Did you remember the extra sweet and sour sauce?

dp.

It's Not His Fault He's The Master and Ruler of the World

I hereby take this moment to announce that Elmo is being retired (because I can't top the "Elmo sad" post), and considers himself the luckiest red furry creature with a hand inside him on the face of the earth.

+= Ha Ha Ha...that tickles!