The Amazing Rando

No, that was Johnny Jeffrey Jordan, from Chicago. No that was Johnny Cents. Johnny Froman, the SAUSAGE KING of World Wrestling Entertainment. Smell the DX skits.

They forgot it was a three hour show, so the last hour will be HHH and John Cena singing Motorhead tunes, rapping, and drinking beers.

No, that was Johnny Jeffrey Jordan, from Chicago.

Kenny Dinsmore

Jack Doan felt people would confuse the two of them.

Dykstra? "You have just died of Dykstra"

"He should wrestle his clothes" > Double Double E

Edge just HBK'd HBK.

Somewhere between Biloxi, Mississippi and Santa's Village, Alan Clark's old tour bus has stopped at a tiny park for a rest stop. With Walter Reynolds most likely on a conference call dealing with his corporate bosses, Alan has found himself in a place where he feels comfortable - the bus rooftop. In his lap sits the SWF Cruiserweight Championship and a polishing rag. "They say the more things change, the more they stay the same. Three years ago I was just another Disney corporate lackey, or a spokesperson as they liked to call me. I was holding on to the Junior League European Championship and was looking forward to facing off against Todd Royal for the World Championship at SJL's Season's Grievings. That night proved to be both one of my greatest moments as well as one that I have come to look back on as where the expectations of me were put far, far out of reach." Alan's demeanor is about the same as it has been the past few days, no doubt still recovering from his match at Lockdown as well as the emotional tribulations since stepping back into an SWF ring weeks before. "And now here I am, three years later. The SWF Cruiserweight Championship in my grasp and I am looking forward to facing off against both Michael Cross and Akira Ka-whatsits for a title that means a good deal to me. I was the first man in SJL history to hold both the European and World Championships, and now those two belts are one half of the strap that the so-called "Divine Wind" wears around his waist. Do you even know about 'divinity', Akira? Todd Royal thought he did, and look at him now. Gone. Last seen limping off into the distance with his so-called Disciple eclipsing him in every way. But that's a story for another day. Instead, I wish to tell you a story..." Alan pulls himself up and stands to his feet, strapping the belt to his waist before walking toward the edge, passing by the cameraman on his way to the ladder that hangs down the back side of the bus. "The last time I held this championship, I was getting ready for the toughest fight of my life - Thugg. Almost as large as both you and "Iron" Mike combined. I survived. I won. I did the impossible. The only problem now is...well, Joseph Peters has put me in a situation where you two can throw around chairs, ladders, tables, whatever you want --- and I have to take it. I won't be able to spray your face with a fire extinguisher or swing a pole into your knee. I won't be able to throw you through a glass window or try to take off your head with a flaming guitar. I won't be able to toss you down a flight of stairs or even cannonball you through the roof of a car. But there is one thing that I can do, and I will do in just a few days time. Win. ...I have proven in the past that I don't need fire extinguishers, flaming guitars, chairs, or metal poles to secure victory. I'm a smarter man than I make myself out to be. I used Todd Royal's selfishness against him. I used Thugg's anger against him. Akira...Michael...your hatred for each other will be used against you. You may attack me, you may hurt me, you may leave me battered and broken...the green of my eyes and the red of my blood-soaked face looking back at you both, but you will not beat me. United, the Asia Underground was a force. Divided, you will fall as many have before you. Three years is a long time, and just like then, I'm looking for the gift of gold under my Christmas tree.... Merry Christmas, Cross... Merry Christmas, Ka-whatsits..." Alan smiles before disappearing down the ladder, only for his head to reappear a few seconds later. "Oh, and have a MAGICAL day." Fade.

Yeah, okay...it's sad in the regard that they have damn good in-ring talent that isn't allowed to shine, but the match is good. I watched it a few weeks ago and still enjoyed it immensely. Not to say I didn't enjoy something like Punk/Joe II or Nigel/Danielson more...but I'm strictly talking WWE.

That match was fantastic, especially considering the two men involved.

Even though i haven't seen the ladder match, I would still probably put Taker/Angle NWO ahead of it.

Match went 25 minutes almost? damn.

That's not genuine... because Taker has "Sara" on his neck...and he hasn't done eye paint outside of the Ministry days since like 1995 at the latest.

I will venture it's Inferno or the Boogeyman match.

Nobody wants to see Bobby Lashley as champion and Sci-Fi is running a mini series all week about a hotel room with magic powers or some shit.

http://www.silencethemusical.com

Joy Giovanni has a fan base? ...and talent?

I don't think it's ever been done...but that's about as close a proximity to naming it by using it's two parent moves (the arm vining of the Cloverleaf and the inverted figure four Nagata Lock). I would assume there is SOMEONE out there that does it, but you never know. I'm personally hoping the Chicanery Suplex takes off in popularity.

You just invented a Texas Clover-Nagata Lock

Good thing he wasn't trying to match up to A1.

Running the ropes is unrealistic [/asshole smark mode]

What happened to that "opening match winner gets to book first match of the New Year" stipulation? Can you add that into the Gift Match? I was looking forward to seeing something wacky come 2007.

He's tired. That's the only reason I didn't jump on him about it.

"The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" starring Troy McClure.